The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: The Turkish Bathhouse
Episode Date: March 25, 2024Today's Cast: Dan, Greg, Billy, Chris, Mike, and Roy. Jack Gohlke stole the show with his performance in March Madness for Oakland, and he has already cashed in. Is March Madness more like March Midne...ss this year? Would Dan love Zach Edey if he were more of a Zach Eaty? Then, Jim Nantz is looking over Ian Eagle's shoulder in a way that feels similar to Mike Ryan and Chris Cote, so we discuss which CBS broadcasters look like members of a Turkish Bathhouse. Plus, Kim Mulkey goes after "the click machine" and it ain't gonna work, buddy. Also, the UNC Tar Heels vs. the OKC Thunder, Greg and Mike go after Heat Culture, and Ernie Hudson looks AMAZING. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I really do enjoy the way that the money is pouring into what used to be amateur sports
and NIL and the chaos that it is causing uh... over uh... the weekend
jack colki i think we all discovered him at the same time plays for oakland comes
in off the bench does nothing but shoot he makes ten threes on three dribbles
and
in the sport in w n b a
n b a
college basketball
in the last twenty five years according to opti stats
are only two times
that someone has come off the bench
and shot twenty plus threes
and no twos
both times is jack gold
turbo tax decided to capitalize on this so immediately because they were afraid
that go to would immediately get eliminated which he did that they did a did a, you know, they just did an NIL deal with him. Goukki spent the
weekend just signing NIL deals. But this right here is absurdly funny. He can't even be
bothered to have the time to get to the gym. He's clearly in a hotel ballroom. I'm going
to guess Radisson Inn, carpet, 1980s was the last time it was changed and here we go Jack Gulkie
Just doing a commercial for turbo tax
Me and my team got to the next round by making all our moves count
Just like turbo tax who makes all your off-court moves count this tax season. I
Mean, come on. Come on. That's right Billy. That's the correct response
Come on, come on, that's right Billy, that's the correct response.
He hit the ceiling.
He's in a hotel ballroom, he's dribbling on carpet,
yet you at least gotta give Turbo Tax
their money's worth by going to a gym.
Have there been advances in anything less than in carpet?
What was the last carpet advance?
I'm gonna guess easier to clean.
I know there are very expensive kinds of rugs, so.
Oh, but look, they've taped down,
like if you look, they taped down a three-point line
on the carpet.
Look, there's a white tape three-point line on that video.
Now that's production value.
That he's running around to shoot.
Look, watch him, watch him.
And there's actually a white court also.
Look, they made a court out of tape on that carpet.
Looks like he's in a gym.
Yeah. It does not look like he's in a white court also. Look, they made a court out of tape on that carpet. It looks like he's in a gym.
Yeah.
It does not look like he's in a gym.
Mike Ryan found all of the basketball middling.
He called it March Midness.
I will say that the NCAA tournament has never
been about good basketball.
It's just about, hey, please give me some close basketball.
Because even, I mean, maybe when you're going back to the time of Tim Duncan and and
someone like Tim Duncan will play for four years but now the basketball what
you're watching is basically being able to bet you saw the numbers I've told you
before that I don't trust the ratings on anything but the numbers being
distributed suggests that more people watch the average game in the first
round than ever have.
8.3 million per game.
8.3 million is what the numbers are that they're giving you, and it's just because it's action.
It's a good year to have the take that March Madness isn't exactly what people hype it up to be,
because March, as you mentioned, it's about moments.
And there haven't really been moments.
You had a crazy
three to end regulation last night. You basically had good games to start the experience on
your Friday and one solid one to end your experience, but a whole lot of bad basketball
and not a lot of memorable results. It is just a fifth time in history that all one
and two seeds have advanced to the sweet 16. so you haven't had real signature upsets. The Darling Cinderalla's are pretty much
gone by now so it hasn't been a great tournament by any real stretch of the
imagination. I think it's been a return to the norm. I mean last year you had
three outliers in the men's final four and that's not you can't count on that
happening and now you know for me the NCAA tournament is something I really pay attention to now
when it's at the sweet 16 and and there are no real Cinderella's left and unless
you count NC State as an 11 seed and and on the women's side there's no real
Cinderella that's the Cinderella fallacy I call it we love Cinderella do we love
Cinderella you have a name for it yeah Yeah, and you gotta capitalize the F as well. The Cinderella fallacy is that that's why we all love March Madness
so much. We're enthralled with the brackets because when Oakland beats Kentucky, oh my god, we're
apoplectic with joy knowing that Oakland's gonna lose in the next game and that Jack Goldke, who
looks like he's 38 years old, is gonna disappear after cashing on NIL and we'll never hear from him again.
He's not gonna disappear. I'm gonna remember this. I'm gonna know where I was when I saw this
commercial for Jack Goldke in a ballroom. What hotel do you imagine that is?
Radisson. Because the carpet is giving off something, right? That carpet,
Burgundy, it doesn't feel like
a new design. It feels like a carpet that has been there for at least two decades.
It smells, that carpet. I don't know if it smells.
Yeah, I can smell it through the TV. It's bad. It's been there since the 1960s, that
carpet. And that design, what is that, a Paisley design? I don't know what I'm looking at there
It's a is that a flame. What is that what that we're seeing? It's crazy
I do miss March Madness creating stars Jack Golkey
There's usually like two or three of Jack Golkey and this year at least on the men's side
There is and on the women's side of the bracket there are names establishing themselves like Audie Crooks and whatnot
But that's because generally the audience is less familiar with them. But there have
been, it's been pretty chalky on both brackets, both the men's and women's and it's been
disappointing.
I feel like your enthusiasm, Mike, would be a little different if there was a certain
blue blood team in the tournament.
Yeah, no doubt. But they were also upsetting teams. you know They were they were a lower seed last year both the men's and women's and and they upset top seeds on their way to March
On their way to the Final Four and that's what March is supposed to be about at least to me
Otherwise you just get a bunch of boring games
And even if you follow the sport which I follow the sport a little bit more now because as you mentioned
I'm a blue blood it go it bucks against the trends that you'd been hearing all year for example the last
three years we've been hearing how the ACC noted famous basketball conference
is actually overrated and doesn't stack up with the better conferences the Big
Ten in particular right now presently in the Sweet 16 there are more ACC schools
than the Big Ten has had in the Sweet 16 the last three years combined. The ACC continually bucks against this narrative nationally that they are an
overrated conference and they always have Final Four representation.
Taylor says you're walking dangerously close to the line that gets your blue
blood card revoked. I have in front of me a news story that if it had been played
in the tournament people would care. Unfortunately, it involves the Tasmania Jackjumpers.
But the way that one of their games ended over the weekend,
Delvadova turned the ball over in Australia at the end,
and then Jack McVeigh came down the court and shot just over half court,
made a three-pointer to win the game.
If that had happened in the NCAA tournament,
that ending, it's one of those things that we would remember forever. Like one of those
games that you remember where it is that you were because you can't believe that you saw
something and we all look like Stan Van Gundy during that game last year when he's on the
sidelines and he's disoriented, but unfortunately it involved Tasmania.
But if it had been in the tournament, it had been the, if Tasmania had advanced on a half
court three toward the buzzer, we'd be talking about it.
But those games this weekend weren't any good.
And Zach Eaddy doesn't have any actual enemies, so Purdue has made one of me for calling him a plague.
Purdue fans are very mad at me because their offense was very good, at least in part because
he gets a lot of free throws because no one can get him out of the key.
And there is a place, by the way, that you can't accuse me of hypocrisy because my friends
were arguing with me this week and they're like, why don't you like him?
If someone is bigger and faster than other people you?
Have no problems with them
But just because someone is bigger than everyone else you have a problem with them and I'm like, yeah, that's that's that's the reason
I don't like that what he's doing in basketball is something that feels like no one can move him out of the keys to
Physically strong he didn't cheat though to get like that. Correct, but I just don't like watching it.
It feels like cheating sometimes, but no, he didn't cheat.
And yeah, their head coach actually said something that I thought was a general criticism that
you were lumped into, that if you think that he's good just because he's big, you don't
know ball.
Oh, but I don't think that.
I know he's good.
And it's not just because he's big. He's got a skill set,
but the fact that he's stronger than everybody is the reason that he's able to get where he wants
in the key and they have to foul him. But the hypocrisy that I'm guilting of is that I enjoyed
watching this weekend, Audi Crooks of Iowa State, even though she's stronger than everybody physically,
but I love the heavier basketball player.
I've always loved the heavy basketball player,
and the hypocrisy that you've caught me in
is I'd be totally fine with Zach Eaddy
if he was 150 more pounds and flabby.
If it was more body fat, I would love him.
Like, it has nothing to do with the fact
that he's stronger than everybody.
It has nothing to do with that he's proportional.
That's right.
If he were just, if he were 150 pounds heavier, I would be rooting for him.
And if he was like big baby Robinson, but seven five.
Big baby Davis?
Big baby Davis, excuse me.
We all love the large out of shape athlete.
We love the defensive tackle, returning a fumble.
Same theory there.
Yeah.
This has been a good year to have the take that March Madness is overrated. That take stands up against like more memorable March Madnesses where you do have
those moments. I think that you go through a lot, you sift through it as we made the minor analogy
last week and you get a couple of good nuggets. This year my take is really aging well just because
there hasn't been that. We're all just still trying to chase the ghost of Jack Golke.
All right, but can you guys help me with this part?
Because I do feel part of this is simply packaging and nostalgia.
This is minor league basketball.
These are human beings who are learning how to play basketball.
Some of them are very young and they're going to school for one year
to learn how to play basketball.
I'm not interested in the G League either, but if you make it in March, give me giant
stakes and tell me at every turn that everybody's going to be watching and we can bet all day
and everyone's going to be caring.
I might be more interested.
Let's go ahead and play that video from Australia so you can see what it is that I'm talking
about.
This is Matthew Delavadova inbounding the ball and he throws it up away and here we go we're going down the court imagine this
at the end of march madness and at the end of one of the
one of the games
nice totally absurd from half court making a game winner from half court i
believe what you're watching
is minor league basketball
and we care about it just because we put stakes on it.
I shouldn't say just, you put regional identity on it too.
I saw Jim Nance in the crowd yesterday.
Those are pros.
If you stack that Australian team with Delvedova in there,
I'd imagine they'd perform admirably against the NCAA lot.
Yes, they would, agreed.
The point that I was simply making is that much of it
is a made for television contrivance that we care about it because we were grandfathering
it in from another time but it's something that's always fascinating to
me we care deeply about minor league sports in this country we care deeply
about the regional identity that we get from our town show nationally
and i can i can puff out my regional pride
i was
disoriented by seeing jim nance enjoy houston basketball
in the crowd jim nance i always think of as either neutral
or whispering jim nance even on football doesn't convey excitement his voice is
always steady to see him emotional,
watching Houston basketball, scared because Houston,
he knows not to trust Houston basketball.
Yeah, what does he look like excited?
I picture him just giving a nice little golf clap
at even the most outrageously exciting play.
That's not what was happening.
He was careening all over the place, doing interviews.
He couldn't stop talking about his beloved Houston Cougars.
When legendary coaches step down,
they have the decency to stay away from the program
for a little bit for the replacement coach
because you don't want that discomfort around.
Then you wait a little bit,
or you can be like Roy Williams, which is all,
look at me, I'm at every game.
But I'm sure I and Eagle can't possibly appreciate
Jim Nance breathing over his neck. Not at all. Let us miss you Jim. Wow that is not the
take I had a lot of people having yesterday. No that's a surprising way. It's sort of like
yeah Mike Ryan stepping down as executive producer and still being
looking right over the shoulder. You know not that that's appropriate. You're closer than Jim Nance was to Ion Eagle.
You're right on time.
Like it is, he can smell and feel your breath on his neck.
That's how close you are to where Chris Cody is.
I do believe you got my ass.
Yeah.
I do believe you got my ass.
Good point by you though.
No, it's great.
I'm going to go get water.
Walk that one off.
Howdy, folks.
It's Mike Ryan.
It's springtime.
And while every time is a good time for Miller Lite,
springtime is among the best.
I was sitting out in my backyard watching some flowers bloom
and some beautiful birds swimming from royal fishtail
palm to royal fishtail Palm to Royal Fishtail
Palm and I had a Miller Lite in my hand and I said, yeah, this is the good life.
Over the years a lot has changed.
One thing that hasn't, the great taste of Miller Lite.
It was the original Lite beer and to this day is still the very best one.
Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't.
Oh, Miller Lite, you were always there for me.
I thank the heavens for you every time I'm sitting on my back patio and I take a sip.
Ah, tastes like Miller time.
To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, where
you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
96 calories per 12 ounces.
Dan Lebatard.
Let me get some golf ASMR.
Stugats.
Oh, f*** me.
This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugats.
This is making a question if Nance has always had this bias.
I wasn't so impartial.
I feel like maybe now we go through, you know, go through the tapes and we see what was going
on in those Houston games with Nance.
You know what I mean?
I spent a few seconds disoriented at the vision once I saw him cheering because it was legitimately
confusing to
me to see. I expected it's not just confusing to me because of what he is on
broadcasts for many many years, even exciting broadcasts, dramatic ends to the
Masters. I think of him as somewhat stoic, not repressed, but seeing him in that context was something that took me a second to adjust to
because I think of Jim Nance as somebody
who's wearing doc shoes, golf clothes,
and emotions are not something that spill from him.
That he is a person who can be trusted to simply know.
What are you shaking your head about Billy?
I feel like Jimmy can let it loose
you know what I mean? Well I'm obviously wrong. He's skinny dipped for sure. Not Doxious. What? Put it on the poll please
at LeBotard Show. Has Jim Nance skinny dipped for sure and can Jim Nance really let it loose
at LeBotard Show? Raftery definitely happens. Oh for sure. Plenty of onions, yeah.
Vern Lundquist loves a nude hot tub.
Oh I bet.
For sure.
I think he likes a sauna.
Turkish bath.
Yeah.
We really.
Like him and the boys go to the lodge,
you know what I mean?
Just let loose, take off the towel.
Can I see your wiener, who cares?
Vern is 100% a Turkish bathhouse guy.
No, no, no.
The lodge.
No.
He's a moose for sure, right?
We disagree on this?
I'm vehement disagreement,
and I put Verne in the hot tub for a reason.
It's because he's not laying nude on his stomach
and letting someone hit him in the back with leaves,
with palm fronds.
He is not letting anybody do that.
No, no.
I see the opposite side of the coin,
I think he is that guy.
No, no.
The back's not a great angle for Vern.
I think Nance would be more likely
to be a Turkish bath guy.
Wow.
I have Nance never taking off his suit.
Who at CBS?
He's in the sauna, you know what,
put it on the poll at Levittide Show,
is Jim Nance in the sauna in a suit?
It's almost like a tougher game is who at CBS isn't a Turkish bathhouse guy.
I'm going through the broadcasters right now and I'm trying to think, what is Iain Eagle
like?
He's a Turkish bathhouse guy.
I don't think I can find one that isn't.
Kevin Hollin? Oh, Turkish bathhouse guy. Put don't think I can find one that isn't. Kevin Holland?
Oh, Turkish bathhouse guy.
Put it on the poll, at LeBotard Show.
Gus Johnson, have you ever been in a Turkish bathhouse
at LeBotard Show?
Yes or no?
Was that to Gus Johnson or that's to the public?
I'm asking.
The way you phrased that was Gus Johnson.
He's a Fox guy.
Have you ever been to a Turkish bathhouse?
Yeah, they let loose differently over there.
Do they?
Yeah.
But at CBS, they've had longstanding
grandfathered memberships back when,
you know, CBS first started one specific bathhouse.
Really?
It kind of feels a little cultish.
The Turkish bathhouse,
you gotta be careful.
It does have like a secret society aspect to it.
You gotta be careful with them because you gotta make sure they're clean and well taken care of oh, yeah
It's just very moist. Yes, very mildew. You got to be careful with all that stuff. Yeah bill cower
Definitely got a towel on but not long. You know what I'm saying
Yeah, there's one in the beach Russian and Turkish baths. I don't doubt it Sparrow Ditas
I've been to that one have you and it's why I say what it is that I just said you got to be careful
How is it some experience? Oh, I mean all people of influence
Nestle all people of influence Billy they have a membership to one of these baths house really places. Yeah for sure
How does it work Dan when you go like or do you go discreetly, you have a plug there? I only went once, and again, the reason
that I have the experience to tell you
that you have to be careful is because,
when Greg Cody mentions scents,
you're talking about things that for many years
have been in damp, damp areas near the beach,
and you have to take care of those things vigorously,
or they will start to smell, and they will be dirty,
and you don't wanna be walking around on a tile floor
that isn't exactly as clean as you hoped it would be.
This is where the Illuminati gave you
highly questionable, yes?
Ah.
Did you get sprayed with a fire hose?
I'm looking at pictures of their services,
and there's just a dude spraying someone with a fire hose? I'm looking at pictures of their services and there's just a dude spraying someone with a fire hose.
I got the palm fronds on the back and I did not like it.
Were they slap on you?
Yes, uh-huh.
No, they snap you.
Wow.
They hit you.
I think it's meant to get blood flow going and lactic acid
going and it's meant to, it's not supposed to.
This is where you secured the Beto O'Rourke South Beach session, yes?
Yeah.
Me and him just wearing towels.
Well this is where they told you,
you're gonna interview Beto.
Who do you think was hitting him with a palm frond?
It was Kevin Hart actually.
Oh, okay.
That was Kevin Hart.
Gotcha.
That was the interview that I secured
with the Illuminati at the Turkish bathhouse.
You mentioned Fox, and it made me immediately think
of Kim Mulkey. Can we play me immediately think of Kim Mulkey.
Can we play the sound, please, of Kim Mulkey?
And I just cannot wait for whatever it is this Washington Post report is, because among
other things, she's complaining that the reporter who's been trying to reach her for two years
to do this didn't give her enough time to respond.
Two years has been trying to get an interview with Mulkey. And Mulkey, you know, Brittany Griner said, among other things, that Mulkey, you know, tried to get her to repress her sexuality
publicly. And Kim Mulkey seems pretty terrible. And the reason, you know, she's in big trouble
here isn't the voice, it's because she didn't
wear one of those ridiculous outfits this time to this press conference where she's
got a two-minute response to a Washington Post story that she's alerting us all to doing
great publicity for the Washington Post because we all want to see what this story's going
to say.
This reporter has been working on a story about me for two years.
After two years of trying to get me to sit with him for an interview,
he contacts LSU on Tuesday as we were getting ready for
the first round game of this tournament with more than a dozen questions.
Demanding a response by Thursday right before we're scheduled to tip off.
Are you kidding me?
This was a ridiculous deadline that LSU and
I could not possibly meet and the reporter knew it.
It was just an attempt to prevent me from commenting and an attempt to distract us from this tournament.
It ain't gonna work, buddy.
Unfortunately, this is part of a pattern that goes back years.
I told this reporter two years ago that I didn't appreciate the hit job he
wrote on Brian Kelly, and that's why I wasn't going the hit job he wrote on Brian Kelly.
And that's why I wasn't going to do an interview with him.
After that, the reporter called two former college coaches of mine and left multiple messages that he was with me in Baton Rouge to get them to call him back.
Trying to trick these coaches into believing that I was working with the Washington Post on a story.
But you see, reporters who give a megaphone
to a one-sided embellished version of things
aren't trying to tell the truth.
They're trying to sell newspapers and feed the click machine.
This is exactly why people don't trust journalists and the media anymore. It's
these kinds of sleazy tactics and hatchet jobs that people are just tired of. I'm fed up. I've hired the best defamation law firm
in the country and I will sue the Washington Post if they publish a false story about me.
Juju, put it on the poll please. Does Kim Mulkey sound like Marlboro Reds? The click
machine, what does that looks? The click machine what does that look
like? The click machine? I know it very well. That's why I was asking. Yeah it's a it's
amorphous you know it's it's more of a just a an invisible dinosaur that's out there and
gnarling and growling and threatening but that woman is terrified of the truth. She
is terrified of what he's about to write
because she knows it's gonna be truthful.
Does she have a sister?
It ain't gonna work, buddy.
Oh.
Can I ask you guys a question about journalism?
Let BBC shoot a shot.
When you're working on a story for two years,
are you doing anything else?
Because that seems like a racket.
Yeah.
Like, oh, you got that Malky thing?
Nah, a little more time, boss. it's been two years dragging this out on
salary putting nothing out 2026 is my target date what's better than getting a
small premium roast coffee and your favorite McMuffin getting a small
premium roast coffee and your favorite McMuffin for only four dollars plus tax
for a limited time only at McDonald's exclude eggbeel Team McMuffin by participating McDonald's in Canada prices exclude delivery.
Don LeBattard.
Many of you by the way are writing in and you're saying,
Dan, quit being so mean to co-hosts that you always deem incompetent.
That's the formula, man.
Me being mean to the co-host is what allows Stugats
to take a very wealthy vacation right now.
Stugats.
It's a winning position for everyone but me.
Have you guys not figured this out yet?
That's the whole thing is me being rotten straight, man.
As everyone else gets to be incompetent,
then I yell at them for being incompetent.
And here's the miracle of it.
It's the magic elixir.
Bad, which is the only thing Greg Cody can be,
becomes good and lovable.
And it's because standing next to obnoxious, strident me
makes everyone look that way.
Yeah, and the brush with death helped.
Yeah, that was planned by me.
The whole thing was contrived.
This is the Don Lebuter Show with the Stugats.
["STAT OF THE DAY"]
Chris Cody, give me the Stat of the day music please. Start of the day, start of the day, initiate start of the day.
Start of the day, start of the day, initiate start of the day.
Start of the day, start of the day, initiate start of the day it is the start of the day start of the day start of the day it is the start
of the day
This is from college sports only. North Carolina starting five.
The average age is 22 years and two months.
The Oklahoma City Thunder that can very much win the championship this year.
They're starting five.
The average age is 22 years and six months.
That's crazy. That up. And if you've seen those guys
interviewed when Holmgren and Shea Gilgis Alexander get together after games, they're children. Like
they behave like children in the interviews. And one of the things that's happening in the NBA that's
so interesting is Minnesota goes to the LA Clippers win by 18 and the guys the young guys on the bench are like making fun of the old guys saying
look at their old asses they're old and I know that many people in Miami are very
frustrated by the Miami Heat being only 39 and 32 but these things are hard to
keep up there they have the same record as the Lakers they have a than the Warriors. Now, I know the Lakers and the Warriors are
considered disappointments, but it's hard to stay on top. But Oklahoma City, if Holmgren,
that body type scares me because I always think it's going to get hurt. But if they
stay healthy, that team's only going to keep getting better because that's not a team that
has yet reached its athletic prime. Where have we heard that before?
Oh yeah, Oklahoma City. Yeah, that's correct, but they've got a chance with
these young players this year. Like people are going to discover that
Shea Gilder's Alexander, all the metrics suggest that he's not Jokic quite, but
he's like the second best player in the league. I love the young fast team and I love it because if you're good right now
imagine how you're gonna be in five years you know that that's that's why
they what they where the heater right now led by an aging still pretty great
but an aging Jimmy Butler I don't know where are they in five years you know well you saw over the weekend the New Orleans Pelicans were making fun
of Jimmy Butler because he said when they fought last time he said we're the
better team and we're gonna beat him up in Miami we're gonna beat him in Miami
and then they lose at home by 20 and his words don't mean anything he's always
going to say we're the best. And the Pelicans,
they've got a very good social media account. They went after Stephen A. Smith in a way
that was funny, and they just put up, we're the better team.
You can't hold Jimmy Butler accountable. And no one really does. That's why he gets away
with saying these things. It's like chasing down DJ Khaled and asking him, wait a second,
I would like to push back a little bit on the notion that we the best.
Well, but it's the whole heat culture thing, that ridiculous saying they have where we're
the best, we're the most determined, we're the strongest.
That's not how it goes.
Okay, well, whatever it is, it works great when you're winning.
Can you keep going?
You're dominating.
Keep going, though.
Let's hear it.
Let's see.
It's fair what you're saying, that we don't have to like the saying, I still
want our group to find for me something, especially as we head into these play-offs, that electric
shocks people who say the word culture.
Because I don't want to annoy the audience any more than we already annoy the audience
with all of this.
Okay, but the Heat has owned that, and they put a capital letter on the sea and all I'm
saying is Heat culture and there's a big long phrase for all the things that the
best at it's great when you're dominating when you have the big three
when you're struggling to avoid the play-in tournament and it doesn't sound
quite as useful. Do you want to give us the saying as you think it is,
the Miami Heat, according to Pat Riley,
and he's used this before.
He actually said this, I think, about the Knicks
and the Lakers.
But what's the saying?
OK, best conditioned, hardest working, strongest,
most diligent, most thoughtful.
I don't know.
Not thoughtful.
Scariest, I'm running out of adjectives here.
Most uniforms.
Yeah, most uniforms would be perfect.
Most full of shit, I don't know.
Wait a minute now.
I'm just kidding, it's just a joke.
I would say that embedded in that,
I believe word-for-word
Motto that Greg Cody rattled off is wouldn't caring about the regular season fall in line with that
Wouldn't sludge work through smarter not harder shit. Actually, they say hard is working
Sludging through and hitting your stride when everyone else is bored with a
season like wouldn't that be part of heat culture?
We were talking earlier in the show about age and I want to just show some pictures
here to some people and get some reactions here.
I'm going to begin with Jackie Chan at 70 years old. Jackie Chan did his own stunt for a long time.
Jackie Chan was an amazing action star. Mike Ryan has claimed that Mission
Impossible, the penultimate one, is the greatest action movie that we've seen in
many many years. Monkey Man is now considered something that is coming in
April with Jordan Peele at the helm and it's said to be one of the great action movies.
How do we feel about how Jackie Chan looks right there
at 70, 70 years old?
It's how he should look.
It's how a 70 year old would look.
I mean, it's good.
You always got to avoid overhead lighting.
That's a, that is a speaking engagement stage lit.
That is not a winning proposition.
It looks like Woody Allen. Okay, that's not what Jackie Chan was going for at 70. That is a speaking engagement stage lit. That is not a winning proposition.
He looks like Woody Allen.
OK, that's not what Jackie Chan was going for at 70.
When Roy says that he looks good, though, at 70,
he doesn't look like a couple of other people
I'm going to show you here.
I'm going to show you right now the 60-year-old Lenny Kravitz.
Lenny Kravitz has been taking very good care of himself.
That's crazy.
That's Ozempic right there.
Well, you think Ozempic? Ozempic? He's Ozempic right there. Well, you think. Ozempic?
He's diabetic.
I don't think, I don't think.
Ozempic, you think Ozempic gives you a six pack?
How is that man 60?
For crying out loud.
Well, I'm about to show you one.
I mean, if he's diabetic, then possibly.
What does he do now?
I mean, he still makes music.
He still makes music, and he models, and.
He performs.
He's got a bunch of endorsements.
Hollywood star now, right?
He's also.
And very clearly crunches.
He's also very smart about fashion and design.
Like his taste is very strong.
But let me show you Ernie Hudson
from the original Ghostbusters at 78 years old
because this one floored me.
What?
I cannot believe that he looks younger than Paul Rudd
standing next to Paul Rudd,
and in fact, the entire cast of Frozen.
I mean, it's not really fair
because there's actually no Black Dumb crack.
Well, but he's 78.
It's supposed to crack at 78.
No, no.
It's supposed to crack at 78.
The foundation's still strong.
His body. He looks just as good.
Put it on the poll please, Juju, at LeBittard Show.
Does Black start to crack after 75?
But Ernie Hudson, it's a bit staggering.
He looks great.
That's to be 80.
He's two years younger than my father.
I will say, I think he has hair coloring.
Said the guy who has hair coloring
as he speaks. He's salt and pepper though. He's ten years older than my dad. Okay you know I could take him in a
60 yard race. No you couldn't. I mean he looks better now than he did in Oz. He did. Greg has told me that he
has begun training for his six minute mile. Yeah I'm starting incrementally. I don't want to get carried away
I I just a couple of did not yesterday
I took the day off but the day before yesterday I ran 60 feet in less than 10 seconds
So I was pretty proud of that every journey starts with one step right in our way up
You should be proud. Yeah, your average per 60 feet might get you there. Yeah, I think so
So I haven't done the math 20 yards you ran 20 yards. Yeah, I think so. So I haven't done the math. 20 yards, you ran 20 yards.
Yeah.
But in how long?
Under 10 seconds.
So if you project that,
he has a shot is what I'm saying.
I wasn't even breaking a sweat.
And that was first day.
Right, I was eating a Dove Bar while doing it
like Bill Parcells on a treadmill.
And yesterday was a rest day,
which is all premier athletes,
they sometimes forget how crucial the rest day is
to the body. Exactly.
Rest day really makes the difference.
It's all figured out.
It's a plan.
Greg Cody just made a really great reference that he and I have been making for many years,
but he kind of got the order of some of the words wrong, so some people might not have
understood what he was saying, which is that when Bill Parcells was the champion leader of the Dolphins somebody
did catch him walking on a treadmill eating a Dove bar. Love it. That's
multitasking. That's a thing that actually happened. I want to play for
everybody here some sound speaking of action movies Mike and I vigorously
disagree on the latest incarnation of Roadhouse. It was not very good, but Conor McGregor
and Jake Gyllenhaal have been making the rounds as Parker. It's soft, it's like a J.
Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal. I think Jake Gyllenhaal decided to do this only
because he wanted to get fit and go to tropical places. This was not done in
Key West. It was meant to look like it was done in Key West, but it was not done
in Key West. That doesn't look like lower Metta Cumbi to you?
That looked like lower Metta Cumbi to me.
That was either the Dominican or Guatemala.
I couldn't tell and I haven't looked it up.
But Jake Gyllenhaal got incredibly fit.
How'd you piece together Guatemala?
How'd you piece this together?
Did you hear that?
It just looked like it.
Those places have topography.
This was very, this was the Keys.
This was the middle Keys. That was lower Metta Cumbi. No. This was very this was the keys. This was the the middle keys
I was lower medicum be no some of it was in the keys
I do not believe that that entire movie was in key West. There's no way
No, it's just that it wasn't the keys and it looked to me like some places that I've seen before that's all it looked to me
It looked a little bit familiar, but I'm guessing i haven't looked it up so i may
have it wrong i may have it wrong
like i got it wrong that there were saltwater crocodiles in the keys i did
not know about that i asked ron mcgill about it he says they'd never attack
anybody though
but regardless if i'm looking for suspension of disbelief in the movies
that's not the one that i'm going to look at
at the last i'll give you this the last 30 minutes were entertaining. If you enjoy seeing people's faces knocked
off of tables and boats flying into the sky. The movie was profoundly stupid, but we have
some audio of Conor McGregor and a lot of people are accusing him of drug use. Conor
McGregor's life, I'm not talking about steroid use. Dan was right, holy bleep, Dan was right.
A large chunk of the film was filmed
in the Dominican Republic.
Actually, no, that was 1984, sorry.
Oh, so Googling.
Okay, you're gonna keep looking it up for me.
In the meantime, they are trying to get,
the computer has crashed here,
so we'll get to the sound in a second from over the weekend,
but I did wonder what Gyllenhaal was thinking as he sat next to a McGregor who get to the sound in a second from over the weekend. But I did wonder what Jalen Hall was thinking
as he sat next to a McGregor
who looked like he was in a stupor.
Over-laughing is the way I saw it.
He's just basically like uncomfortable.
You can tell he feels weird.
We're showing the B-roll of it here,
but we can't do the audio yet.
He's just, it looks, it's uncomfortable for everyone.
Yeah, odd couple.
In speed reading here, it looks like the 2024 remake
was also filmed primarily in the Dominican Republic.
So there you go.
You guys love to make fun of me.
Well, no, you said Guatemala.
Okay, but I, okay.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, you said-
Different countries.
You said I was wrong.
Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan.
It's springtime.
And while every time is a good time for Miller Lite, springtime is among
the best.
I was sitting out in my backyard watching some flowers bloom and some beautiful birds
swimming from royal fishtail palm to royal fishtail palm and I had a Miller Lite in my
hand and I said, yeah, this is the good life.
Over the years a lot has changed.
One thing that hasn't, the great taste of
Miller Lite. It was the original Lite beer and to this day it is still the very best
one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't.
Oh, Miller Lite, you were always there for me. I thank the heavens for you every time
I'm sitting on my back patio and I take a sip.
Ah, tastes like Miller time.
To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you
can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.