The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: Tua Tagovailoa and His Shiny Teeth
Episode Date: August 19, 2024Today's cast: Dan, Stugotz, Greg Cote, Chris, Billy, Mike, and Roy. It's a Greg Cote MONDAY with the original cast alongside him! We begin the show with Billy Gil regaling the crew with pole vaulting ...stories. Then, we debut sound from Dan, Chris, and Stu's interview with Tua Tagovailoa where Tua shares the differences in playing for Brian Flores vs. Mike McDaniel and how it impacted his psyche. Mike Ryan takes this moment to return as our vanity correspondent to discuss Tua's teeth and share some of the things he's done to maintain his own physical appearance. Plus, RIP Phil Donahue. Also, Greg takes out drones, Mike tries to out Abraham Lincoln, and a deep dive into the invention of toothpaste. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show. Shadow show.
Stugat's bounced in here today and I don't know what the reason for it is whether it's that it is the original
Crew in the shipping container. I believe this is the crew that's done more shows than any crew in the history of the show or
It's the rare Greg Cody Monday
It's Hawaii midnight game. I mean that's really what it is. College football, you know,
it gets underway, Dan. I shave for it. I'm excited for it.
It's back.
It is back. Yes.
Yes. And the Florida State Seminoles somehow played two games in week one.
It's a historical anomaly.
They play the first game on the 24th. They play the last game on September 2nd, and they're
both considered week one. How about that?
The thing that makes this a Greg Cody Monday, and this is very exciting Greg
I hate to confuse you more but there isn't a week one
Double header. Yeah, it starts with week zero. What what is happening between?
Georgia Tech and Florida State and Dublin is now classified
by college football and its fans as Week Zero.
I beg to differ.
I beg to differ.
It used to be called Week Zero and they homogenized it so that it's all called Week One now.
Just as an example, if you go to ESPN schedule, it right it says week one as i say we can
understand what you're doing but is commonly referred to as week zero the
season before like the real sees okay the commoners refer to as kind of like
a shadow shadow technically though technically if issue plays two games
in week one that kind of thing so forth and so on wait a minute what there's been an addition to that kind of thing so forth
and so on it's a lot why did it add an an appendage from the house of commons
well you know it's it's the you want to elaborate so forth and so on
it leaves its conjecture yeah it leaves it to the listener to
uh... know what i mean i do want to commend everything that was going on
uh... the the panthers Cup run, the Olympics,
the world falling apart.
This football off season really felt short.
I just got a buoyant radiance that swept over me
because Sal Pal was chatting with Mike Tomlin
on my television.
Oh my God, it's fact!
I felt like I was transported to a different time.
15 years ago, that interview could have been.
That's still week zero coverage, because week one one Sal Powell, he's planted in front of the
Eagles complex.
That's right but this is what's warning me that the calisthenics were doing the calisthenics
getting ready for football season but the thing that I didn't know, Greg Cody's in here
on a Greg Cody Monday because he's got a very busy week and the busy week is because newspapers
have, and you guys
remember these from your childhood special sections before football that
are just all football the best high school football college football
professional football and once upon a time you'd get you know Ricky Williams
to take a picture with a bulldozer and five offensive linemen there's no way
that those players are doing anything for newspapers anymore so I can't even imagine what the special
section cover those cover arts those things would signal football season and
they'd be beautiful they'd be they they would be like magazine covers and there's
just for the full color ink yeah just no way that that's what they look like
anymore yeah I have no idea I can't speak to that but you're right you're not going to get uh... you know uh... the
start you're not gonna get tyreek hill
you know in a helicopter
i used to stroll into florida christian homeroom
get three of those bad boy
niche edition
fully devoted to high school college and pro edition and i would just sit at my
desk and open up a newspaper like a 60 year old man
married to Lucille Ball.
Larry Blustein.
No, no, no, no, but what Stugance is doing is recruiting.
I'm talking about the Miami Herald would win.
The high school.
The Miami Herald would win awards every year
because they produce, correct me if I'm wrong, Greg,
seven special football sections
because it wasn't just high school it be all the
pros i don't even know what the seven categories were but they had seven
category yeah there was uh... i i can tell you that we we don't do that anymore
for budget reasons and whatever but i think i think the categories used to be
nfl
dolphins
u m
college football
high schools the rest of the state i think that in florida state in florida
then they do something i think i remember that that other colleges yeah
i think i think we had five special sections remember
uh... and and you get a right for mall so
that's why i'm august is literally my busiest
month of the year and now i'm on call for jury duty about their doing my civic
duty
will patriotic american
damn right i want jury duty i want to get there doing my civic duty. I'm a patriotic American. Damn right. I want jury duty. I want to get on that jury. I want to be selected. I hope once
in my life a judge recognized me and spent five minutes in an open court talking to me
about football. I hope that doesn't happen.
The dream, huh?
Yeah, the dream.
You do hope that happens. You hope that happens.
Well, I hope it happens beforehand. I hope they just tell me no when I call today,
no you don't have to show up at 745
and wait in a mass of people for four hours
to decide whether you're gonna be deciding
whether some guy ran a red light
and barely injured somebody else.
What section called you, what branch?
I hit the Triple Crown this year.
I got hit by all of them.
Wow.
Civil, federal, and criminal. Wow. And I got selected for one of them. I didn't think all of them. Wow. Civil, federal, and criminal.
Wow.
And I got selected for one of them. I didn't think it was possible.
Congratulations.
I'd always call them and tell them, like, I just...
Triple Crown.
I just said, like, no, no, no. That was the other one.
So they've all, they all got me within a calendar year.
Yeah. I generally play the journalism card, because when you tell them that you're a professional journalist, usually that will, you know, negate you from serving on a jury.
What happened to civic duty? Hell yeah. What happened? All of that. journalists usually that will you know negate you from serving on a
what happened to civic duty hell yeah what happened all of that you know what
is a as if if they call me i will serve okay great cuz you have to buy his
duty when it's all up you have to call them though you're doing something
illegal if you don't hear that's the barest low minimum to meet the threshold of legality.
This is the Don Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
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DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Happy Greg Cody Monday as a special gift. We've got a returning Billy Gill from vacation and Billy,
I feel like we really missed out because during the Olympics we all found out more and more about your pole vaulting calamity. And it turns out I've learned since during vacation,
your vacation, that there's more to that story
that you have not yet told.
There were parts of that story that were left out
on your epic collapse in pole vaulting.
I don't know how it took us.
When I missed the pads?
Yes, when you missed the pads.
Well, I had a number of incidents.
I had a number of injuries.
I could regale you with pole vaulting injury stories
all day if you want.
I do want.
I've missed those. It was missing from our coverage last week. We will get to Greg Cote
and the Dolphins in preseason football in a second because we've got some Tua sound that I want to
play for Greg Cote and ask him, the resident historian of the Miami Dolphins, if he's heard
the quarterback sound quite this way. We're going to play that sound in a second. But what's the
pole vaulting story I missed?
Well, I mean, the story that I told you
is when I missed the pads and I hit the metal box,
and that I then laid down in my car,
embarrassed until a family member was able to get me
and take me to the hospital
because I couldn't drive my stick shift car
because it destroyed my shoulder
and it still clicks to this day.
I guess the part I didn't tell you
is that my coach feared I was paralyzed
because he came running around the pads and was like can you move can
you move and and I could luckily and that was that I wasn't paralyzed.
But how is it that it took us 20 years to get the full story on your pole vaulting?
I was probably going to be honest with you because I banged my head
into my shoulder and was like very woozy in that situation.
There's another time I stabbed, this is early on
in my career where I stabbed myself in my leg
with my cleat.
Like so I probably shouldn't have been using metal
like spikes at the time because I was just learning
how to do it and I went up and this is before I knew form
and I stabbed myself in the leg with my spike
and then I got a gash, I had to leave the competition
to then go and put stitches, but it was before
I had technically lost.
So then after I got the stitches,
because pole vaulting's so long,
I went back to the competition
and the event was still happening.
And then they asked me, do you wanna do your other attempts?
We can have you do the attempt.
And I think the rule, if I remember correctly,
is since I didn't lose, I still had attempts
and I was attempting like six feet at the time
because it was like my first year doing it
and I was like, I don't know, five foot three or something.
And they were up to like 12 feet.
They're like, do you wanna take your next two attempts
at 12 feet?
I was like, no, I think I'm good.
I'm gonna recover from this.
Then, here's this one.
You guys are gonna like this one.
So when I was in college, Dan,
I don't know why you asked for this,
but you asked for it so I'm giving it to you.
When I was in college, I had a really bad ankle sprain.
One that prevented me from competing and even practicing,
but I have to go in and I have to do therapy
nonstop every day for a month, I'd have to go in.
I did the thing like the stim or whatever it was called
where they put the little stickies on your leg
and they shoot electricity through you
and that's supposed to help you.
And then they ask you, do you feel that?
And I would always lie and say no
to the point that my toes were actually curling
because they turned the machine all the way up.
I was trying to see how much pain I could deal with.
So anyways, I finally recovered from this.
The coach is mad at me because there'd be days
that I'd just go in and I'd do therapy.
First practice attempt when I came back in practice,
I go up and they always tell you,
land on your back, don't land on your feet,
you could twist an ankle,
and I thought, I already twisted an ankle,
I'm all taped up, I'm fine.
Go up, land, twist the other ankle,
laying down on the ground, missed another month.
Coach was livid, livid.
I'm shocked Coach Rubin kept me on that team.
I've got a number of follow-up questions,
and the answer to your question,
why would you go to me on this?
Cause you've been off for a week
and it's a Greg Cody Monday and it's kind of like
deflating a tire when you're in the 40s
and you need to get it down a little bit.
I need to get all of this out at the beginning of the week.
Do you need to?
I've always wanted that.
I don't think you do.
The tire says you gotta have it at 36 and it's at 38.
Do you let it out to 36?
I sometimes ride with it.
I like to over inflate.
Yeah. I like to under inflate. That's not
feasible. Well I'm on I'm moving on run flat tires so they can run on 20 pounds.
Okay. I've run on 18 pounds. So you're testing them out? Yeah, I mean they're fine.
Don't worry about that. You know they're running flat go why would you go lower than the because when
you over inflate you feel like you're running on hard tires you know the the
the ride is not as smooth the ride is bumpier uneven yeah yeah you know it's
a much prefer now you want the perfectly inflated tire but if you're gonna air
you air on an under inflated tire in my opinion I disagree at LeBatard show put
on the pole juju at LeBatard show air on an under-inflated tire, in my opinion. I disagree, at Lebatard Show, put it on the poll, Juju,
at Lebatard Show, which do you prefer,
over-inflated tire or under-inflated tire?
Gotta go under.
How did your cleats cut you
while you were going over the bar?
You kind of scissor kicked your feet
and you cut yourself, how many stitches?
You go up and then you go like this
and then I went like that and I stabbed myself.
I know that's good for the visual,
but look, see, I have, look, Mike, Mike can attest. See look at a little scout a little scar there. I can't confirm look at that scar look at this scar
Look at this big scar. Battle scars, huh? Look at that. You remember lethal weapon 3? A big scar
No, is it 2 or 3? No, I think it was 3 where he starts comparing scars with Rene Russo
I'm like a dog with a bone on this one. Stitches Billy. How many stitches?
On that one? Ooh?
That was a gory one. I think that was like three stitches
And so you but you competed right afterward you got back to the meat. Oh, no, I went back to the meat
I did not okay. This is when I was first starting
I was using the pink girls pole because they didn't have a pole for how little I was I was like five three like 95 pounds
Lethal weapon three. I read the other day, correct me if this is incorrect,
Mondo, the pole vaulting champion,
that he breaks the record by a centimeter each time,
even though he could go over by much more,
because he gets a $100,000 bonus
every time he breaks it by a centimeter.
Yeah, that's a guy.
That's a heavy sweat.
He's using the pole vault as an ATM.
So he has, from what I read, and it's probably the pole vault as an ATM So he has from what I read and probably the same article as you he has like conditions with his
Sponsors that he gets anywhere between like thirty and a hundred thousand dollars every time he sets a world record
So he'll just go up one sentence
That's where you need me as a commissioner of all sports including Olympics you go by one inch increments you don't go by centimeters
That's ridiculous. Nobody can see the different if you raise the poll by an
inch one inch no people win by quarters of an inch
you know in my olympics you're gonna get ties it's one-inch increments yeah but
Greg he gets a bonus every time he breaks it I know but that's a loophole
that we got to close are you kidding me? I mean it has to be centimeters I mean there's an
international competition needs to be the metric I mean, it's an international competition.
It needs to be in a metric system.
No, we don't do the metric system.
Here he is again.
I mean, the earlier in the week,
the more xenophobic and more stubbornly American
he becomes on, he gets to decide
what the rules are for the world.
One inch increments.
Did you guys watch the jump off
in the Olympics and the high jump? No. There was a there were two high jumpers that they were tied and they
each won a share of the gold and they decided no thank you let's just keep
jumping to see who wins. Oh we talked about this the other day that the US
would have won if they had just taken the tie there we would have had more
golds than anybody if we had just decided that, but they decided no, they wanted to be competitive and one of them needed to win and
then the U.S. lost. How much do you have to hate New Zealand? How much? Like, it's a great moment.
We both share the first place medal stand, but nah, like let's keep jumping and then it affected
the U.S.'s overall medal count overall medal count, just not a good move.
If you're a competitor, do you really want to just tie?
Right.
You want to win that gold.
I think you go to the Olympics with the hopes and dreams
that you get to introduce yourself one day as an Olympic
gold medalist.
No one's going to check you on, hey,
you're a co-Olympic gold medalist.
At the Miami Dade County Championship in 2005, I'll tell you this, we had the opportunity
to end an attire, go to a jump off at Tropical Park and they didn't have lights by the pole
vault pit.
So the people that were organizing events said, hey, we would not advise you to continue
jumping because this is not lit, this is not safe.
And you know what we said?
We're jumping. We're jumping. We're jumping. Quick, respect, respect.
We're jumping.
That is Miami style.
We're figuring this out.
Full ball being in the dark, no liability issues there.
I lost.
I lost.
Welcome to The Offensive Line.
You guys, on this podcast, we're gonna make some picks,
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I'm your host, Annie Hagar.
So here's how this show's gonna work,
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your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out
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Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably
bitter.
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Plus on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus where I share
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Don LeBattard.
You were that kind of sad this morning
taking the barrage of anger from Stugatz
because you hadn't booked him enough interviews.
The only reason I keep bringing this up
is because you not
are throwing a big party on Thursday.
You're doing it.
And I want people to support what you're doing
because Stu Gotz has not made this easy.
Stu Gotz.
Well, you know, I, well, yeah, you know.
This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stu Gotz.
["The Stugots Show Theme"]
I want to recap with Stu Gotz and Chris Cody. We went out to dolphin camp, Greg, and it's always unusual to me the things that people get excited about around here. Chris Cody,
with a lot of responsibilities now, was insistent that he'd go
to dolphin camp he wanted to do this he was very eager to do this he did a great
job i mean
i'm not sad uh... and and one of the people that we talked to while we were
out there will play uh... most of these interviews next week but we wanted to
get you some of the two uh... stuff just because i think chris and stugatsen i
and i'd i want to be careful about this because i think chris and still got some i and i'd
i want to be careful about this because i thought the interview in general was
interesting and my takeaway from doing pop psychology in twenty minutes i know
you in a means to got say it that he's got the contract that that's the reason
that he's a more confident sounding quarterback i think it's the contract in
the fact that he has a coach that really believes it okay but i would say
it's you don't lead the league in passing
by accident or fluke like you will have real confidence that you are exceptional
at your job
when you lead the league in passing yards and now you've got another system
another year in the system of improvement with the same stability
and so yes it can be all of those things but when I think of going to a workplace where the people believe in me and more to the point I believe in me I was surprised I had not heard to say this about Flores before so you guys tell me if I have this wrong we've all heard about what that relationship was like but listen to the frost thawing and a quarterback who feels differently with a team
That's his can you explain to us last question before we get you out
Can you explain to us the difference in practical terms?
Between having a coach who did believe in you the way that he did and the difference between that and what was happening with Flores
Yeah, well...
To put it in simplest terms,
if you woke up every morning,
and I told you,
you sucked at what you did,
that you don't belong doing what you do,
that you shouldn't be here,
that this guy should be here,
that you haven't earned this right.
And then you have somebody else come in and tell you,
dude, you are the best fit for this.
Like, you are accurate, you are the best whatever,
you are this, you are that.
Like, how would it make you feel listening
to one or the other?
You see what I'm saying?
And then you hear it, you hear it,
regardless of what it is, the good or the hear it, you hear it regardless of what it is,
the good or the bad, and you hear it more and more, you start to actually believe that. I don't care
who you are. You can be the president of the United States. You have a terrible person that's telling
you things that you don't want to hear or that you probably shouldn't be hearing. You're going to
start to believe that about yourself. And so that's sort of like what ended up happening.
And it was, I mean, it's basically been what?
Two years of training that out of, not just me,
but a couple of the guys as well
that have been here since my rookie year
all the way till now.
We all had the same reaction to that,
was to notice how awkward and uncomfortable
Chris Cody was in his short shorts on the middle of that couch sitting next to
Pick the middle for me who picked shorts you did you pick the middle you pick shorts
It was a thousand degrees out there. I thought we were gonna be outside
Damn shame man Dan asked us the night before to clean it up.
I mean...
Can we talk about this for a second?
There's a dirty Gatorade cup also on the table.
No, that is mine.
That was mine.
Someone's doing laundry, it looks like.
They just folded clothes.
That was Tua's glass.
I took it.
I mean...
That is the Tua smoothie.
Stugatz was sipping from it the whole time, hoping that Tua would notice that his name
was right on the sticker because Stugatz stole his smoothie from the fridge.
Let's look at Chris Cody here for a second though,
and just drink in this particular awkwardness.
I want you to know how much it cost me the night before
to send two adult human beings, Chris Cody, Stugatz,
hey, clean it up a little for tomorrow.
Stugatz, can you shave?
Can you? I did! And so then Stugots, can you shave? Can you?
I did!
And so then Stugots asked me, what's that mean?
And I'm just like, presentable.
Just can you be presentable?
And then look what Chris Cody decides to dress up in.
Thousand degrees.
It was outside.
We're in, we stole the dolphin golf simulator.
There were a bunch of players lined up outside
trying to get in. Dan told us, I love you but the night before he did tell
us we're inside air-conditioned room. I had seen the slacks I didn't think it
was a thousand percent it was still up in the air. Regardless you deserve to
look every bit that awkward. Cody any theories as to the quarterback you're
hearing there I have not heard him call his previous coach a terrible person
before. No that was strong language and and
keep in mind because of the relationship he had with flores
that's why you had the owner steven ross
uh... not so much in the background but right in the
the quarterback space
going after the sean watson and then going after tom brady to a degree that
they lost the first round draft pick for tampering
he put up with two or three years of absolute shit down here in terms of not
being respected by his own team, which I've written in a couple of different
columns and and that was a good interview because you're right you teed
him up but he didn't defer he went all in on on what you were hoping by that
question. We will play the full interview for you at the end of the show
uh... but i will say again
i felt like i was talking to an adult the other times i have talked to two
when he came out of college
unbelievably guarded
super super careful but also not yet formed like not
just uh... a year in alabama's a college kid you're not uh...
you're not yet media savvy didn't have a lot to say
the second time he went through the battering of the concussion stuff
and uh... again had to be guarded
because of the time period he was in
this was a person who was liberated like this is not a person who's going to be
afraid to talk in front of cameras measuring his every word all season
It's a person who has the belief of his head coach
He believes in himself his teammates believe in him and it's all he has the money to back it up all that belief
And it's a guy who also has two kids. I mean, that's it's a big difference
Lot of good theories as to why he's found renewed confidence. Well throw throw another theory out at you? New teeth.
Yeah.
Brand new smile.
Brand new smile.
That is a million dollar smile right there on the left.
New look on the right, last season's head shot.
I conclude my investigation.
I've seen all I need to see.
He's an expert, Dan.
A great new smile from a great young man.
I think that's unfair.
The Dolphins giving us access and now you're reporting
exclusively in this vanity correspondent lane
that you've taken up.
I think Barkley had fake teeth when he was on with us
the last time.
Those teeth looked new to me.
I mean, it would be one of the first things that I do
when I have that kind of income.
Yeah, why not?
Even if, too, I had a beautiful smile last season. It's not a bad smile, but if I can
just augment it and make it perfect, I would. To a renewed confidence, possibly
because of a new smile. Also just sitting next to me for a half hour. That helps.
Yeah, made him feel better. I really enjoyed how awkward it was for dolphins
to turn to their right and have your
Tostitos breath right in their face like that you were much too close to some of these people
They have never been interviewed by somebody whose face is that close to their face and you always had
fluffers coming out and
Pulling your t-shirt out for you because that's a move
I've been there for quite a while.
You turn a corner, you tug the shirt.
I was like, the middle, huh?
You want me in the middle?
Fine.
How did you feel about the experience?
In SNL, whenever Chris Farley had to play a child.
I got disturbed when I saw him sniffing River Craycraft
out of the shower.
He moved closer.
Look at that look from Chris, he knows.
He knows.
Ah!
Chris, now explain to me, you never want to go out
to Marlins with a great deal of zeal.
Is this because this team has been handed down
from your father and into your household
that you care about this team more
than you care about all the others?
I wouldn't say I care about this team more,
but this is just this moment in Dolphins history,
like these rosters, this year and last year,
are the best rosters of my life,
and I'm just super into these teams,
and I know how you can kinda get awkward sometimes,
so you need the levity of me to balance out
the awkwardness of you sometimes.
Did you tell Tua that you wanted them to get rid of him
in favor of Justin Fields?
I left that part out.
He didn't. You know, I should've mentioned that part wanted them to get rid of him in favor of Justin Fields? I left that part out. He didn't.
You know, I should have mentioned that part,
but you know, we were cooking with him.
I'm telling you, I don't want to oversell this interview,
but me and Stu Gotts looked at each other multiple times
throughout the interview of just like, holy crap, Tua
is impressive, he's saying things, so it's a good listen.
You are overselling it.
It sucked.
I don't know.
Somewhere in between? Yeah? Any subtlety. Like if you're capable of any subtlety whatsoever.
It was just okay.
I don't like that it's just okay is where we've landed with Mike accusing the new quarterback or the quarterback of new teeth. I don't think we can use language like accusation, uh,
and cast it by the wayside. This is the truth. This is unmitigated truth.
This is not an allegation.
Those teeth are very different and they are perfect.
And he is a perfect, perfect young man. And if I were there,
I would be wearing pants and I would congratulate him on his brand new million dollar smile. Let me say something
on behalf of the Dolphins because Greg Cody is a certified homer all right he
has somehow found the magical space where the last couple of years he has
predicted a Dolphins Super Bowl they have not won a single playoff game and
Greg Cody still feels victorious and correct in his prediction
just because they're good at offense and because we know them to be good at offense and everyone in
Miami is lightheaded because good at offense hasn't been something that's been around here since
Marino so people are crazed about the fact that they know they're good at something offensively
that everyone in the league wants to have. I think I'm aware of the social construct that if someone
fixes something that is an obvious improvement
You're not supposed to say hey, man. That's great
But what are we really doing are we subscribing to the notion that magically to his teeth improved and got better without any
Help no, I think people do this for the compliments. Therefore. I am complimenting not just the smile, but the work that went into it
You're making an accusation. I think this is the only show breaking down to his
teeth. You're making- well I didn't want to do that. This is not where I wanted to
break down the words but again typical superficiality of Miami instead of the
words it's the smile. Guys I'm not a dolphin fan but I am a fan of being able
to seize on what people have done to themselves. Greg Cody is not a fan of seeing what people have done to themselves because the last two
seasons have ended in epic dolphin failure.
But Greg Cody feels right saying this before last season.
I mean, I could talk for the whole show about why they're a better team and why they're
better than Buffalo.
A couple of reasons are, two, he's going to stay healthy all year.
He's going to play all 17 games. He's not going to miss a single game. Vic
Fangio is the god, the lowercase G there, no offense to anybody. He's the god of defensive
coordinators and they're ready to do it. Mike McDaniel digging in to his second season.
He's familiar now. He's more comfortable. They're They're there. They're man. They're ready They're ready dolphins haven't been to a Super Bowl in almost 40 years since damn Marinos 1984 and they're ready
They're gonna do it. This is you know it and you know it by the way good
I have to say that because what I'm saying is said it what I'm saying is more than just my opinion
You can etch it in stone bring it to a tablet put it on your back like you're Moses walk into a bank and deposit that tablet
Because I'm talking the truth here spitting it
knowing damn right, a year apart. Same exact, same.
Knowing the cadence.
Had no idea it was coming.
Yes, that is how much he's in reruns
that he absolutely knows the notes
of where to hit the damn right and you know what,
so on and so forth.
Yeah, right.
But seriously, like Tom Brady shows up on your screen
for week one of his Fox assignment,
and he's got what you could only classify as jet brown hair.
Come on, we can, you're trying to get one over on us.
You do this for a reason.
It's just not necessary.
You've been doing this since you did it
to the fake teeth of Sal Powell a long time ago.
I have one fake tooth here.
This one was a little small for my wedding.
Got a little bit bigger of a tooth
because I was insecure about my smile.
Presently, my sideburns are aging more rapidly
than the rest of my beard, so on the sideburns,
just for men, medium brown.
Also, I've had a hairline come back a little bit,
thanks to some keeps and some biotin shampoo.
So my cards are out on the table, folks.
Dolphins played this week.
There's a game.
We're just not gonna talk about
Jason Sanders keeps missing field goals
Oh, here we go. Ouch
Last season he was put on notice had one round of ozempic
But that offsets the medication that made me fat in the first place haven't done Botox yet considering
the medication that made me fat in the first place haven't done Botox yet considering?
Greg Cody, the thing that I wanted to say about the Dolphins
because I have seen a seismic shift in this town
that I am really grateful for.
Because the Miami Dolphins were the first big team,
because the Miami Dolphins made Miami matter in some ways
to the rest of the country
back when Don Shula was running things
the Miami Dolphins have
Dominated with arrogance before the last 15 years this entire market. It has been an arrogant
organization that came off of the winningest franchise in sports through that time and I am so grateful to have just an
in sports through that time and I am so grateful to have just and a totally different environment at dolphin camp than there has ever been. I don't know
what they're doing corporately in terms of sponsorships where they've been
renowned to be assholes but since Jason Jenkins got into the community and
started doing things the Dolphins have become less and less arrogant as an
organization. It may have something to do with the fact that the Heat and the
Panthers have kicked their ass the last 20 years. And so the Dolphins haven't
mattered. But the humility that's actually come out of that facility, I'm talking about
employees all over the place. I'm talking about the way that stuff sinks in when you
have a culture of a Flores or a Belichick type, or you have the culture of a Shula or
a Jimmy Johnson who come from a different time.
That's not the way that place is being run right now.
Presently sucking in my stomach and also wearing stickers on my nipples to appear less fat
in this shirt.
Don't believe me?
I'll show you.
Wow.
Wow.
No, you're right about that.
And Nick Saban was down here for a couple years as well to fit that that previous superiority thing I haven't noticed a
direct change I deal with them sort of on a daily weekly basis during football
they treat me the same but I don't disagree with you there was a there was
a franchise arrogance for years but when the Heat start winning championships in
the last five years the Panthers have been great you know it changes you and and here they are you
know we're praising the Dolphins but they're they're in the midst of a 23
year NFL worst playoff victory drought which hasn't ended yet and until they
end that they're far from where they want to be. 2-0 in the preseason though.
Doesn't Stephen Ross and Mike Mciel deserve some credit for that for what you're
feeling coming out of dolphins can't because they do this poll every off
season and players are saying that's the best place to work in the nfl that's
the best environment to work in the nfl and mike mcdaniel man that guy is
electrically he brings energy every single day in Ross has been a terrible
owner for 20 years yeah I know, I think he's been a good owner.
Results wise, results wise, results wise, that's the standard.
Winning?
No, but the fan doesn't care whether the guys have air conditioning that's nice in the locker
room.
The standard's results and he's been terrible as an owner in terms of results.
Wow, I just heart disagree.
Heart disagree.
How can you disagree?
Did you not hear what he just said in a league parity salary cap?
They have a no playoff victories in 23 years.
By definition, that's the worst.
I would say that comparatively to some of the other owners, I mean, comparing them to
the Robbie's, they had some success.
The Robbie's went bankrupt building that stadium so that football could live here.
Okay.
Well, I think he's done a lot for the stadium the the entire venue and I think that
like his biggest missteps were always trying to improve the team he got some
stuff wrong I think he's on the right track it's irrefutable he's got a great
looking quarterback he's got a great head coach he's got a great stadium that
he's presently in he made some missteps in trying to acquire the greatest
quarterback of all time I I think calling him a terrible owner is
harsh. That's where I just basing it on results. Our results Dan is right. You can't
question that. Right the 23-year playoff victory drought is largely on Steven
Ross. I agree with what you said about the facility improvement. He has turned
Hard Rock Stadium into a mecca of sports with F1.
You guys are sitting here giving him a standing ovation for being great as a
businessman. Which he is. We covered this last week. Thank you Billy.
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Don LeBretard is there back in my day there is actually
There is actually. What?
Were you not going to tell anyone?
In what day?
Wait a minute.
You guys.
Tuesday.
Guys.
It's a Tuesday.
StuGuts.
Here's your guy.
Greg Cody with Back in My Day.
Okay, here it is.
Sorry.
Adultery.
Yeah!
We are back.
We're waiting for this one. Sorry. Adultery! Yeah! We are back! We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
We are back!
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We are back! We are back! We are back! We are back! We are back! still caring about the things that the old people care about when they gather around on Sunday morning and watch the CBS Sunday morning magazine. Roy just
informed me that we have lost Phil Donahue at the age of 88 years old. I almost
think of him as the original daytime talk show host. Was there anyone before
him? Was there anyone before him? A daytime? When television in the daytime became a thing and you needed daily
guests to fill out a show, was there somebody who did that before in America
than Phil Donahue did, where they have all the big guests, all the important
guests before the proliferation of television all over the place?
I mean his show started in 1969, so it would be hard to find anybody who really started
that.
I mean he's pioneering.
Yeah I don't think there was anyone before him but I've been, what are you squinting
your face at Billy?
I just…
The first person to do everything all of a sudden is a pioneer it's a bit much.
That's how pioneers work.
Yeah but I feel like the first person to do it gets credit for being so great just because
they're the first.
I mean better people come after the first
I mean, it's called improvement oftentimes the people that do do a first don't get the credit
But was Morton Downey jr. Ahead of no no that was well after that
Corson did yeah iron man he used to I think I believe it was his dad
Yeah, it's one now like another comic book guy, too
How about dick Cavett?
Wasn't Dick Cavett the original?
He was at night though.
Well he was at night.
He was daytime, different thing.
I guess.
Yes.
But Phil Donahue was great.
He also had wonderful teeth, to Mike's point.
Really?
Donahue had a set in his mouth, I'll tell you that.
That was before fake teeth.
I think fake teeth is a relatively recent phenomenon.
Well now, George Washington had wood teeth.
Right, wood.
I mean, that's a misnomer. George George Washington had wooden teeth. Wood. That's a misnomer.
George Washington never had wooden teeth.
What?
It is not a misnomer.
Never had wooden teeth.
No, he definitely did.
I saw a documentary on George Washington just the other day because I'm in that phase of
my life.
Early onset Republican.
Yeah, early onset Republican watching World War II docs and learning about their American
Revolution.
That's where I'm at.
Okay, they're all over your eyes,
just like you still think there's a weak zero
in college football, not happening.
G, Washington, never had wood teeth.
What can you give us in the way of facts here?
What are you telling us?
You're telling us, we need to get this right.
It's like a dog with a bone on it.
This one, right?
I do, look, as soon as I was saying
what I was saying about fake teeth,
I could feel Billy rising up with our founding fathers chattering away with their wooden teeth
It says legend has it whenever it says legend has it usually isn't right?
Let me read something real quick legend has it that Washington had wooden teeth
But the museum's historians state that's not true the appearance of his dentures may have looked wooden
Particularly after they had been stained, but wood was not used in constructing any of his dental
fittings." Wow.
I see the boy.
I had bad teeth back then.
He had really bad teeth.
No, people had terrible hygiene and terrible teeth back in that day.
I, why do you think that was?
I need to correct myself. Well, when did toothpaste get invented?
That's a great question.
It's a great question.
After George, that's for sure.
Not a founding father, but are you
going to watch a documentary that shines a light on how
Abraham Lincoln was gay?
When was the toothbrush invented?
When was toothpaste invented?
Specifically spotlights four of his lovers.
And flossing.
Medicine seemed to be kind of crazy back in the day.
Anyone could be a doctor, right?
It's just like oh, I have my arms falling off. Okay. Here's shot of whiskey. That'll take care of it
That'll do you and it's like what no practice of bloodletting in theory
I get what they were going for didn't just cure things with cocaine at a certain time
1824 on toothpaste. I'm seeing 1780 for the first mass-produced toothbrush
Okay, why did they make a brush with no pay brush?
water at the beginning or maybe
Before the horse took them four years before they realized this needs to taste a little better old George is trying to clean his teeth there
He's got terrible breath while he's signing the declaration of independence
I'm so bad.
Right?
It had to be terrible, but.
People thought that they died of natural causes.
People just didn't want to live anymore
with how much everybody smelled.
Just think about oral sex.
Ugh.
Okay, why did we do that?
Well, that's where the mind goes.
That's not where everyone's mind goes.
That's not where necessarily anyone's mind goes.
Come on, Gus.
I need to make a correction. You were talking about Phil Donahue, by the mind goes i guess i need to make a couple eight correction and he was on the field on
the human
yes i need to know if you're a lover's
you know by the way lincoln uh... used to store important documents in his
stovepipe at
i just read that really get the gettysburg address was written in a
piece of paper
in his hat
he used to carry important government documents in his
hat hmm I found that interest was there a compartment or just sat on his head
just sat right on his head no there's gotta be a compartment. He didn't have a bunch of important classified documents on top his hat. That's not true. It's not a fact. It's not a fact Jack. People didn't put out. It's not a fact of any kind.
Look it up.
I believe he had compartments in his hat.
You can't keep the papers on the top of a top hat.
No, no, no, on the top of his head, covered by the top hat.
Who has compartments in their hat?
There's no such thing as hat compartments.
Cam Newton for sure.
Yeah, no doubt.
Cam's a good answer.
Donahue was good at sex, right?
Yeah. I always got him.
We all agree.
No, go send the pound to Mark.
It's where the mind goes, Dan.
It's where the mind goes.
It's not where the mind goes.
You also look like Leslie Nielsen in those guys.
I'm trying to bring it back to Donahue.
I mean.
We've got a major penalty.
Five minutes derailing.
It's gonna be Dr. Doom, Billy.
Yeah.
The thing that I was trying to say,
because of course, yes, there were fake teeth in the 1770s,
and also dentures are fake teeth as well.
Phil Downing who was also in the Naked Gun sequel,
by the way, and Leslie Nilsen,
kind of intimidated him while going into an awards show.
So how other people. That's a reference to what Mike was saying.
Other people connected those dots.
The teeth I'm talking about is the Sal Pal version.
I think that's a recent phenomenon to get just veneers.
I don't know how long.
Yeah, I would make an accusation there, but I know he doesn't like you, so I don't want
to get him back to him.
I have an important update here, and this is from AbrahamLincolnOnline.org.
For many years, Lincoln used his hat as a mini-briefcase, stashing letters and documents
in the lining. Not in a special compartment, but in the lining.
Greg, I ask you this. Why would he be hiding letters? What is he hiding in those letters?
Wait to see.
I don't think we should be outing Abraham Lincoln.
Imagine if that one day at the play
had a bunch of letters in there.
Things could have changed.
It's common knowledge that Abraham Lincoln
had male partners.
So what?
What's wrong with that?
No, I'm not saying anything's wrong with it,
but why are we ignoring it?
He wasn't exactly covert with his operations.
It's just not necessary.
I don't care what anybody's sexualized.
Well, a documentarian disagrees.
Who cares what anybody's sexualized is?
What, you had America's, I mean,
apparently first gay president,
that's worth talking about.
Is it?
You think it's important that we tackle it today, do ya?
You think more important than when it is
that the toothbrush was originated? I'm not sure exactly how we got here,
but in a roundabout way, I'm almost certain it's your fault.
I don't believe that this is my fault.
Roy told me about Phil Donahue.
Wait, is that my fault?
You've been the one making all sorts of accusations
all show long about the fake teeth of people.
What is the most vain thing Greg Cody cody does uh... because mike ryan is now out here with all of his sensitivities
he is put in front of america the internet can be cruel all of the ways
that he tries to care for himself i have found you over the course of our
lifetime to be someone who does not care for his body parts very much that's why
your feet look the way they do
uh... i used to be a foot model.
I keep saying that.
Nobody believes me.
Because it's not true in any way.
There's evidence of it.
I'm a man who is known to occasionally dye his hair.
I will admit that.
And just now in the makeup room, we had a little touch up, a little of that, a little
of the other.
So that's vanity.
It's helping you.
You look younger.
Yeah, that's vanity. I'm getting younger, I'm like Benjamin Button.
I'm 18 years old.
In the makeup room, over Wow over there.
Benjamin Biden.
Wow over there was goading him on the subject of drones.
Not goading, just casual convo.
No, you were, this is what you do.
You are someone who fans a bonfire flame.
Like you come over when the embers are dying out
and you make it roar.
What were you guys talking about as it related to drones?
Well, I just asked Greg a simple question about drones
because I saw over the last week that FAU
had released photos that they have drones now.
And I don't know if it's to celebrate touchdowns
or what have you during the football season,
but Florida Atlantic has drones,
and they had different formations of the drones,
they have their owl, they have a different Florida state
kind of shape logo thing, so I was just curious
as you know, proud owl on the prowl,
that Greg is what he thought about drones.
We didn't get to the FAU of it,
because I just started with how do you feel about drones,
and I got lots of feelings about drones.
Yeah, I'm an opinionated man man and I don't like drones.
I'm anti drone. Whenever I see a drone in the sky I wish I had a shotgun I'd be
like a skeet shooter. Well I'd shoot it right out of the air quite frankly. I don't think you can do that.
Why? I'm anti drone. I think it's a I think they're spies. I think it's an
invasion of privacy. God knows what they're spies. I think it's an invasion of privacy.
God knows what they're doing, you know.
They were just making the formation of an owl.
Yeah, no, that's, come on.
Pretty clear what they're doing, actually.
Well, but here's the thing about-
That's not a bad looking owl.
No, it's a good logo.
Here's the thing though, Greg,
and I don't know how you feel about this.
Like, there's lots of things about drones
that bother people.
Greg wants to shoot them out of the sky.
He was telling me, maybe we'll get to later,
that drones are gonna replace U Ubers and there's going to
be taxis that are driving people around. He said very soon. Very close to that. But I'd
say here's my issue with these drones and I don't know how you feel about this. Greg,
we're just talking about one of our founding fathers. And what's more American than just
blowing stuff up in the sky and fireworks and these drones are now coming to replace
fireworks. There's some shows on 4th of July where you don't even have fireworks
anymore it's drone shows. Right yeah you don't need fireworks anymore everything
you know you know when this started when when there were holograms when there
were tours by art by deceased artists using holograms you know and laser light
shows yeah laser light shows. You're talking not the Tupac thing at Coachella.
AI, AI is...
You're just doing a catch-all right now
of a lot of technically advanced phrases and words.
That's exactly right.
Greg Cody is vigilantly anti more information,
anti learning.
His new back in my day book,
you can get it on pre-order now,
he longs for a different time.
He is kind of against technology of all sorts. The idea though that the drone bothers you this much
strikes me as unusual. Invasion of privacy because you often have them
hovering outside of your home looking in on you? Well my neighbor happens to be a
droner, you know, and so he's out there with his little thing like this and the
drones fly. What is the point? It seems like fun. It's a video, you get new
aspects. Fly it over your own house though. Would you not see the drone footage of the
Panthers Cup victory? You get really sweeping impressive visuals with these
things. Also, laying out all the cards. I recently did something called baby foot
Which is essentially a delayed chemical peel for your foot
Apparently in four to seven days all the dead skin from my foot will magically fall off and my foot will resemble that of a
Baby's if you take probiotics and antibiotics do they offset you can never be too sure
Right when you have small feet like a baby
Will it be difficult to walk?
That's a great question. You're talking about baby feet on an adult. Yes. He just said. Talking
about the size. It's off the balance. I misunderstood. Yes. Okay. Because you're a big man walking on baby feet.
That visual would be very funny and jarring. Thank you. And hard to do, you're right. Yes.
Exactly.
You save on shoes though.
Bigger swing?
You feel like that?
Well, it just seems like it was a warm up.
It did look like you were tuning up the band.
It seems like you were feeling pretty good about yourself for the baby feet.
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Hey folks, it's Mike Ryan. And as you know, our show has changed a lot over the years.
You guys knew me when I was 19 years old.
I'm now a family man.
38 years old.
Man, I've been in this industry for a long time.
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