The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Local Hour: What Did I Miss?

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Today's cast: Dan, Stugotz, Chris, Billy, Mike, and Roy. Dan is back from his trip to South Africa, and he kicks off his first day back with a monologue sharing details of his trip and the inspiration... he feels as a result. He also discusses how safety -- both here in the United States and abroad -- is more of an illusion than we believe after both his experiences in Africa and the attempted assassination of Donald Trump. Then, Stugotz and the crew immediately make fun of everything Dan just did. Welcome back, Danno! Stu has an overwhelming amount of Top 5s he's been waiting to share, and he's furious about Bo Jackson's induction into the Kansas City Royals Hall of Fame. Plus, Dan questions why Stugotz and Mike went to Tahoe to...not work. Also, Taylor's musical performance of Toto's 'Africa' updates Dan on what he missed while he was gone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. With Uber Reserve, you can book your Uber Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Hello. I am so happy to be back. What did I miss? Did I miss anything? Anything at all? No? Good. I'll get to the events of the American weekend
Starting point is 00:01:31 in just a little bit, and I've also got a truly terrifying story to tell you from an otherwise lovely vacation safari in South Africa with our adventurous friend, Ron McGill. But first, let me tell you about where I have been and where I think and hope and pray I'm going after what I believe to be one of the most inspiring experiences of my life. The audio audience will have to forgive me, but for those on television, here are just a few of the more than
Starting point is 00:01:57 17,000 plus photos that Ron took at my side. We went with our wives through Botswana and Zimbabwe and it really was the trip of a lifetime, filled with light and laughter and love and some of the most breathtaking things I've ever seen or felt. Today has been Greg Cody's Tuesday for many years. It's usually a circus complete with animals because in the shadow of those Tuesdays, swinging on a vine around all the proceedings, is this giant of a man, Ron McGill from Zoo Miami, who towers over us in more ways than one. He's the longest standing guest our show has in its history
Starting point is 00:02:35 and its most popular. Absurd as it sounds, I had to fight ESPN executives on nothing more consistently than keeping his non-sports segment on our show, so you can imagine my delight when they eventually started using him on Sports Center to decide who would win fights in the animal kingdom between sports mascots. For more than 15 years, while becoming one of America's
Starting point is 00:02:56 foremost wildlife authorities, Ron has made weekly appearances with us and never been paid a solitary cent, but his is the only charity with which our show is ever aligned consistently because a he personally bypasses all bureaucracy to get funds directly to people he trusts to care most correctly and b he's a man of uncommon moral rectitude
Starting point is 00:03:21 ron has never had a drink a cigarette or so much as a traffic citation. He hasn't taken a sick day from work in more than 30 years. His idea of being reckless and irresponsible is, I'm not making this up, having a Coca-Cola. In these troubling times I really do wish more people had a fraction of his decency and sense of right. Ron organized this intimate safari for just a few of Zoo Miami's biggest donors. I'm not one of them, but you are. You, 10 and 20 and $100 at a time, represent the single largest contributor to his endowment,
Starting point is 00:04:01 which is now ballooned to more than three million dollars and represents the greatest professional pride of a distinguished forty-four year career nearing retirement. It was an honor to be with him as he gave thousands of your dollars to the people in Botswana protecting the endangered cheetahs and the people in Zimbabwe successfully growing the population of the endangered painted dogs. I paid full price for the safari of course because every penny of that endowment goes directly toward the animals and conservation efficiently no matter how much we joke that Ron is buying Cadillacs and clothes with that money.
Starting point is 00:04:37 But you're the only reason I even got this opportunity and I've got to tell you I spent the last two weeks in a perpetual state of awe and wonder and discovery i didn't know possible my god i saw and learned so much it's one thing to know that an elephant's trunk is more than forty thousand individual muscles and that a human only has about seven hundred in the entirety of the body and that that trunk can do everything from pick up a dime to pull down a tree but it's quite another to sit stunned in a vehicle because you simply can't believe this five-ton
Starting point is 00:05:14 creature can somehow walk right by you so silently frankly I could have gone without ever learning just how small and scared I'd feel to startle a mother elephant in front of her baby and have her trumpet all of her menacing disdain in my direction. Every day on this trip, we went on eight hours worth of excursions deep into the unknown. Animal dung everywhere, but not an ounce of human litter anywhere to be found.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Lions sleeping with nursing cubs, close enough to touch. Same with rhinos and their nursing babies. Elephants and hippos and buffalo threatening us. A giraffe standing in a cemetery of elephant bones and spreading bowlegged to reach down to the ground just to chew on those bones for calcium. Jackals and hyenas and honey badgers and antelope and zebras and warthogs and cheetahs and leopards and so many birds including penguins. Yes, penguins. I didn't even know there were any of those in africa
Starting point is 00:06:25 and impala at one point ran right past our vehicle because it was being chased by a lion ron was so stunned by that one that he forgot to lift his camera he said he had never seen it happen before just like he hadn't before seen a pack of rare painted dogs surrounding and protecting like soldiers the whole out of which they dug up ten hidden weeks old puppies that needed nursing it would not however be the most surprised he would be on this trip there was this one terrifying morning in the darkness that really crystallized for me especially
Starting point is 00:06:59 after what happened with donald trump over here and then what happened with copa america at hard rock stadium even closer to home that life and death chaos and danger are all around us all the time and all we can really do to protect ourselves is create the comforting illusion of safety for ourselves for our children for our democracy for our sanity more than ever it seems, especially in our divided and gun-toting country, armed America, safety really is at our political rallies, at our soccer games, at our concerts, in our classrooms, an optical illusion and an optical delusion. As you saw with our Secret Service and
Starting point is 00:07:43 as you saw with overwhelmed personnel service and as you saw with the overwhelmed personnel trying to keep soccer passionate bay because they thought this would be like a miami dolphins game were surrounded at all times only by the semblance of security it isn't real there's no such thing is security so i went to south africa searching with no illusions.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I was a world away from all my comforts and about a million miles deep into my discomforts. No televisions, no computers, staying in the most remote places I've ever been, the temperature fluctuating by 50 and 60 degrees between day and night because it's winter there. I might need a gallbladder surgery I've been trying to avoid and I had a pain in my stomach one night. The fear that gripped me the rest of my sleepless night was the realization that in an emergency, I was 160 miles from the nearest village.
Starting point is 00:08:38 I probably don't need to tell you that I'm not much of an outdoorsman. I've been near the Arctic Circle and in other parts of Africa, but this was the most out of my element I've ever been. Going with McGill though is like traveling with Tarzan as your tour guide and travel agent. He's been to Africa 54 times and how much danger could we possibly be? I wasn't thinking at the time that Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray. We stayed in
Starting point is 00:09:03 tents, kind of the same way stugat mox jj watt for trying to appear he was roughing it by working out in a cabin that had an elevator i know what you're thinking here's this rich guy lecturing me on his high horse but i gotta tell you it was an elephant lecturing you from a high elephant you have to pay extra for those over there our tents were obviously luxury tents with running water, but they were still tents. And the giant animals we could hear just outside at night, hippos and elephants and buffalo and lion, don't really have to respect the tents or the encampment or anything
Starting point is 00:09:38 humans put together to make it feel more like order. We were very much in the wild where not many humans had ever been. So one morning McGill was making the rounds to wake folks up at 6 a.m. He was with a guide, Donald, who had 27 years of experience. Donald's uncle, also a guide, had been killed by a buffalo goreng 10 months earlier. In the dark, along a pathway carved out amid trees, McGill and Donald accidentally startled a buffalo that was sleeping on its side in the bushes a few feet away. They hadn't seen it. It was black, both the buffalo and the early morning in an area with very few lights. In a split second, in a panic, the buffalo
Starting point is 00:10:22 got up and charged the noise it heard. A bit like a matador, Donald temporarily blinded and disoriented the rampaging beast with a bright light, but all that did was change the animal's direction, not its bucking speed or its wrath. McGill was missed by a matter of feet, hiding and trembling behind a tent pole that again only provided the illusion of safety. That beast would have wrecked that pole and McGill. Without that light, one of this show's best friends is dead. It's as scared as he has ever been. The buffalo missed him and gored and destroyed the tent instead.
Starting point is 00:11:00 It had charged the only two people among us who wouldn't have been killed by it. Any one of us without their experience would have ron nor made the screaming sound that ended our life mcgill a giant of a man was so thankful that his wife rita wasn't with them that he immediately ran to where she was and wept in our arms we probably don't spend enough time in the conscious gratitude for the precious frailty of life and living, or in the conscious mortality of how it can all be taken away with the next step in the next second.
Starting point is 00:11:34 If Trump hadn't moved his head a few inches a moment earlier, all of America descends into an anarchy that makes the January 6th insurrection feel like ballroom dancing. I really didn't expect to return from Safari after 40 straight hours of travel to discuss an assassination attempt, so let me preface everything on this subject by saying the obvious and proper and most respectful thing, which is that there is zero place in America or politics or humanity for this kind of violence ever no matter your affiliation so we should all be uniform and loud and condemn it that said holy man i got
Starting point is 00:12:13 the news of this assassination attempt in the strangest way in an airplane over south africa that photograph of a bloody trump shaking a fist in the shadow of the American flag popped up on my phone without explanation or elaboration in a text from a friend. I don't even know how it got through. I wasn't online. I didn't have any idea what it was or the context. I initially thought it was some weird Photoshop meant to look like George Washington crossing the Delaware River. That photo might win the Pulitzer Prize and the election, and it, like safety, like security, is one hell of an optical illusion.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Trump isn't running for president to live in the White House. He's running for president to not live in prison. You can't embrace and incite and unleashashed the crazy in your constituency and expected to always march trained and neatly in the other direction you can't be the party of guns and expect that all the bullets will always go in the other direction either that photograph is bad ass no question about that probably the most bad ass photo an american president is ever taken but it is brazen and craven to and not just because of how immediately
Starting point is 00:13:28 trump saw and grabbed it as a political opportunity it is a brave to stick your head out when there's an active shooter it's dangerous it's still good i expect trump to cheapen that photo by putting it on march and using it the fundraise before i get to the end of this sentence. But I did find the reaction of the people all around him interesting. It really is staggering that in that moment of shock and fear and horror that people stayed where they were and some pulled out their phones, such is the comfort in the illusion
Starting point is 00:14:01 of safety. But I can't blame them. I probably wouldn't have known to flee either. It's the feeling for many of us at the moment, a helplessness so overwhelming and complete that no action feels like the action most critical to survival, as if we're all just hoping to make it home to cry in the arms of our most cherished loved ones.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Listen, I've had trouble mustering enthusiasm for much of anything since the death of my little brother, but you know what was the most inspiring thing about my trip these last two weeks? Ron McGill himself. He's 64 now and has been doing this since he was a teenager, 44 years at the zoo alone, but he still somehow has the enthusiasm and wonder of a child discovering awe for the first time. He's an award-winning photographer, but a lot of his photographs get ruined because
Starting point is 00:14:54 he can't keep his hands still from trembling with excitement. His exuberance rushing into the cold at 6 a.m. every morning allowed us all to borrow his giant unending enthusiasm. He also happens to be the older Cuban brother I never had. And I don't need to tell you that broken since losing Lebo 10 months ago, I'm valuing brotherhood more these days than I ever have. I've lost too many friends in the last few years of dark struggle in ways that have hurt me profoundly, but I'm comforted so much by the ones who have rushed to my side, one of whom is Ron. Truth is, I probably should have taken the last two years off,
Starting point is 00:15:33 but I didn't know when we started a business that my little brother was going to need a year of nursing and then die. This show and my life has taken a battering as I stumbled around in that darkness but i do feel stronger inspired reinvigorated not healed but healing
Starting point is 00:15:53 i had misplaced my passion but the older brother i never had just walked me through the wilderness and lent me some of his i don't know how i'll ever repay him, but I'm sure you know how. Video, please put up the information for his substantive endowment so one of the most loyal audiences in the history of this space can help repay my friend for his never-ending support. We have a pretty cool relationship, you and us, intimate and vulnerable and connected. The greatest compliment we get as a show, and we get it more than any other,
Starting point is 00:16:29 is when you tell us that we helped you through a dark time because our laughter felt like medicine and our company felt like company. That relationship, like all the best ones, is reciprocal. So allow me to return the compliment as I return from the healing vacation of a lifetime that was only possible because of you. Thank you so very much and forever
Starting point is 00:16:54 for staying by our side, for carrying me, and for helping me get through to the other side of my darkest time. The Dan LeBoutard Show with Stu Gotts is sponsored by BetterHelp. The impact of social media on mental health is a topic of growing concern. What do you do when you get caught up
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Starting point is 00:17:28 skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who have experienced major trauma. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DLB today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash D-L-B. Done Lebatard! I haven't told you guys that on my honeymoon in Africa, the hot air balloon caught fire.
Starting point is 00:18:09 What? What? Stugats. There are animals beneath you, animals that can eat you. And I look up and the balloon itself has a hole that is growing because it is on fire. And the guy seemed like it wasn't the scariest thing in the world. It's like looking at the flight attendant,
Starting point is 00:18:31 making sure if they're not panicked, you're good. And they were not panicked, but we absolutely did crash land near some dung. But the basket ended up sideways, just sort of spilling us out into the African plane. What? Yes. The basket supposed to land flat. It did not land flat. It landed and then went to its side and spit us out. And my head ended up near some fresh animal dung of some sort. When does poop graduate to dung? When you're in the African plane. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the StuGats.
Starting point is 00:19:05 I don't know about you guys, but I want to hear more about Donald. Yeah. Which one? Yeah, not the Donald I thought we'd be talking about today. Oh. The first note I get is there was also a hippo inside the tent. Welcome back. I've missed you guys.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Legitimately missed you guys. We missed you. And something that I didn't know that I missed so badly was that classic sports reporter cadence. What a parting shot. I was expecting you to toss it to Lupica at the end of that. Did power go out again? Was Dick Schaap in the corner giving you the wrap up signal like three minutes in?
Starting point is 00:19:51 I never did the show with Dick Schaap. John Saunders? Elephant can't pick up a dime. Get out of here. All right, now Stu Gatz has to do one of equal length detailing the sphere and Lake Tahoe. Little did I know that the person to my left was trippin' balls on acid.
Starting point is 00:20:12 But I did know. But thanks to Jimmy Roberts, who guided me through Lake Tahoe and the American Century Championship, I found God, and God was a 58 foot putt for birdie by Marty Fish. Jimmy Roberts has been coming there for 40 years, still has the enthusiasm for it.
Starting point is 00:20:29 I love you telling me how Ron's endowment is on the up and up and then detailing a really opulent trip. That he's taken 54 times. 54? And then you said he was like, he's a government employee. Oh, no it don't make sense. It's all an And then you said he was like, he's a government employee. Oh, no, it don't make sense. It's all an elaborate grift.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I go to sleep every night worried that they're going to catch us. So there I was, sucking on a balloon. What was in this balloon? Who knows? But I was laughing. But here comes a touch of gray. It's the only song you know, right? I was kind of hoping that-
Starting point is 00:21:05 Tulsa time, no, that's a different one. I was hoping Dan went hunting, and that was the big twist. Yeah, it ends with him just like with the swallow of a rhino and a couple of elephant tusks. I've come back totally pro guns, pro killing animals. Yes. So after that elephant killed me,
Starting point is 00:21:24 I decided there was only one way to do, one way to go about this. Fight fire with fire. That elephant's head now hangs in my living room. I do think that Stu Gotz needs to do one of those because I walk in today and because of whatever he's been doing the last two weeks and I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:21:45 You know what it is. Well, I know. It's calling his agent, finding out how he can get on Undisputed. That was yesterday. There's gonna be a bidding war for Stephen A, isn't there? That's what's gonna end up happening there, right? A seat just opened up for him.
Starting point is 00:21:59 I come in today and Stugat says, because he's been off for two weeks, I've got an assortment of top five list, top five athletes who can out 4th of July, Lake Tahoe, Lakes and Generals, Safaris, Ruth's and Doctors for Dr. Ruth, and Dan, I've also got an all time Big East team. I do.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Big East football or Big East basketball? Big East basketball and the reason I have my all time Big East team is cause Kemma Walker retired, he's gonna get to the basketball Hall of Fame if he gets in I am done with the basketball Hall of Fame he has no business being there none he's the Hall of Good and it's not just good it's Hall of Good there's a Hall of Good and a Hall of Good he's Hall of Good but he's on my all-time Big East team about that he's Hall of College yeah you you East team. How about that? He's Hall of Picton College. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:46 You have an objection about it. What an ally. No, no, not really. But you have an objection about a number of Hall of Famers, right? You've got Joe Mauer in Makes You Insane. It reinvigorated the same passion I was just talking about in you when you started ripping Joe Mauer making the Hall of Fame this week. He's a first ballot Hall of Famer. He has no business being a first ballot Hall of Famer, zero. No business being a first ballot Hall of Famer. But Mike, I forgot to point this out yesterday.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I spent the two days at Tahoe avoiding Joe Mauer. Did you guys create content from Tahoe? No. No, no, no. We just went on vacation. I spent much of it trying to avoid Stu God's because he reminded me of something. I didn't want to be doing which was working So you avoided Joe Maurer? But he's not are you as mad at Joe Maurer as you are about Bo Jackson being in the Kansas City Royals Hall of Fame
Starting point is 00:23:38 It's an absolute joke Bo Jackson is only getting into the Royals Hall of Fame because he's Bo Jackson. It's a dead. What? Weird. It would be weird if he got in because he was Buddy Biancalano. Dan, you can't be 17th on the all-time Royals home run list and make it to the Royals Hall of Fame when Steve Balboni is not in. I mean, Balboni has to be in. Balboni is not in the Hall of Fame. He has more home runs than Bo Jackson. I'll tell you what Bo was good at. He was
Starting point is 00:24:11 good at striking out. He can play a lot of games for the Royals, but he is still 11th all time in strikeouts for the Kansas City Royals. How is that man making a baseball Hall of Fame? He's overrated. He is overrated. OPS is under 750. He is not the top ten in homers. He is not the top ten in hits, RBI's or anything. He is top 11 in strikeouts though. I mean it's a joke. Seriously. So he's not top ten in strikeouts. When you think Kansas City Royals, how many names do you go through before you get to Bo Jackson? You think of Steve Balboni, don't you? You think of Saber Hagen, you think of Frank White, Willie Wilson,
Starting point is 00:24:45 Amos Otis, you think of Balboni, you think of John Waltham, you think of Larry Gura. Dan Krizzenberg. Quiz. It's absurd. Zach Cranke, Kevin Avery, I just want to name some more recent ones possibly. Mike Sweeney, Hosmer. Can you play for me please in honor of Stugatz and how well he does this mad dog character,
Starting point is 00:25:13 some sound I missed while I was gone? Or if Biden doesn't come to his senses or if Obama or Clinton, whomever the, it's Obama. Michelle and Barrick if Barack Obama. Oh, I'd love for politics to not matter that much to me. I mean Danny Tarnable. Legend. David DeJesus. Are we doing this? Are we just doing Royals? Yeah. I want you to do the whole thing again. I want you to play the whole thing again so
Starting point is 00:26:04 you can hear him stumble through the end of this. Or if Biden doesn't come to his senses, or if Obama or Clinton, whomever the, it's Obama. Michelle and Barrick, if Barack Obama. Matt Stairs. Joe Randa. Matt Stairs. Joe Randa. Oh! Matt Stairs was a royal? He played for everybody
Starting point is 00:26:30 but I don't remember him as a royal. Oh man, DH for hire. Yeah, he was. Mercenary. He did play for everyone though, I'm with you. I was just guessing. Alright everybody, it's finally here. Best Ball Week at DraftKings. My favorite time of the year. And DraftKings Best Ball Millionaire Contest is the biggest fantasy contest ever
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Starting point is 00:27:34 Enter the Best Ball $15 million contest by 9524 to get one bonus entry. $20 entry fee required. Reward expires at contest lock on 9524. See terms at draft kings.com slash DFS. Don LeBattard. The elephant went into a 7-eleven and bought a pack of cigarettes but my question to Ron is this. Stugats. That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to. We all just stared at you. This is the Don LeBattard show with the Stugats!
Starting point is 00:28:07 You guys went to Tahoe just for fun? Yeah, well Stugats is definitely expensing it. You talked to Jason Kelsey on a voice note for seven seconds and that's getting on like God bless football. Yeah, I went there for fun. I paid for it. I had a great time. I love that place.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I do. I love that tournament. I love that entire place. I love everything about it. And I told Mike yesterday, I told the crew yesterday, Jason Kelsey, he doesn't own that tournament yet because it's still Travis's and Patrick Mahomes. But within two years, Jason Kelsey is going to own that tournament. In fact, I'm convinced after spending time with Jason Kelsey, he's going to own everything. He is a rock star, that guy. There were thousands of people following him around the golf course in which Aaron Rodgers was playing on.
Starting point is 00:28:50 No one following Aaron, just Jason Kelsey. Crazy. I found myself feeling bad for both Kelseys because the way they have to react anytime there's a Taylor Swift song played, it's crazy. Like, I saw three different times over the weekend where Travis, they're playing a Taylor song, he has to sing all the words and do the finger pointing
Starting point is 00:29:09 and the dancing, let there be one video on the internet of him seeming annoyed by a Taylor song, and that'll be it. Their comfort with fame is almost envious to watch how easily they slip it on without fear and with monster charisma and confidence in themselves. It's an unusual thing. Well, the Taylor Swift economy's been very good
Starting point is 00:29:31 for the Kelsey family. Oh, but wait a minute. Yes, of course, but they had tons of personality beforehand. Yeah, but they don't overnight become the number one podcast in America. They might over time, but like Instant Sensation, Microwave, number one smash hit, the Taylor Swift thing just totally exponentially grew their celebrity. Oh, it definitely helped.
Starting point is 00:29:51 There's no question about it. How could it not? But what Dan is saying is that podcast was already on the right track before. Oh, but no, that's not what they were saying. That's what I was saying. Like I agree, but like it just fast tracked everything for them. Jason Kelsey and Travis Kelsey were the most famous people at a golf tournament They usually like it they might have had a bigger gallery of Steph and Justin Timberlake were there like they were in years prior like Much dwarf the size of Aaron Rodgers gallery like you were saying there were like four starting active Quarterbacks in there and the retired former center for the Philadelphia Eagles had a much larger gallery. That tournament broke attendance records without having Patrick Mahomes and Steph Curry there.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Jason Kelsey was the substitute. I mean, he was the new guy in the tournament this year. What I'm telling you guys, or what I was trying to say, is that they were ready for it. It's the surprising part to me that a center for the Philadelphia Eagles can be so comfortable in his hairy, heavy body that he would step immediately into that and still be himself publicly in a way that's authentic
Starting point is 00:30:55 and doesn't have the veneer and the crud that so much celebrity has. And not jaded by it because Taylor Swift's celebrity is unlike anything really on the planet right now. Travis has always kind of wanted to cross over as a celebrity. He's always been kind of looking for it. He's always been super affable.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And throughout all of this, being put on that fast track, getting chewed up by this fame monster that surrounds that pop stardom, he's still really authentic. He's still very much the same guy as it would appear. He still carries himself a similar way than he did like prior to all of this, at least from our experience in Lake Tahoe,
Starting point is 00:31:34 he's very much the same dude. What I found truly amazing was the second Travis got there because he's the bigger star of the two. So Travis got there a couple of days after Jason. Jason was holding court, holding it down until Travis got there. The second Travis got there, the relief for Jason Kelsey, who because all the crowd, they had to have security detail
Starting point is 00:31:55 just to get Kelsey to the putting green. And Jason Kelsey finally got a moment to relax because the crowd was off of him and they were all over Travis Kelsey. It's crazy. That's when you struck. Yes, I did. That's right.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Right in the driving range. Yes, I did. Unsuspecting Jason Kelsey. Take a little picture. I realize now why Stu and myself, like we go to Lake Tahoe the way that Ron McGill goes to Africa. Like there is just such healing in the lake for us. So you took a picture here that you were showing me because you're proud of it? You definitely got to do a monologue in which behind you is b-roll of photos of Jason Kelsey and Jack Wagner.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Dan, I'm sorry. I apologize for repeating myself, but I told this yesterday. Jason Kelsey, the reason I took that picture is Jason Kelsey, after a practice round, is perched on some sort of rock. And there are thousands of people around, and he is signing autographs, shaking hands, kissing babies. And I went up to him, right in the middle of the pack, and I said, hey, you need to learn a word, mix it into your vocabulary. No. And he laughed, and we had a chummy moment, and he pushed me a little bit. And then a half hour later. I asked him to come on the show And he said yes, and I listen I told you to say no
Starting point is 00:33:10 And he said I'm not saying no to you and so then I asked him to come on the next day I did and he was willing to do it with Travis But I let him off the hook because I want him to focus on his golf so we signed my hat took a picture He's coming on God bless football. Why do you act like that around people like I don't ask for a picture of a graph? Treat people like people How Morris good point? Oh put it on the pole, please juju at lebatard show To humans just exist for stugots to request things from them one gramati who else did you get autographs from? Well, that's a good question. I had some hats out there.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Charles Woodson signed a hat. I ruined that hat by asking Derek Carr to sign it right after. Are people still doing autographs? I thought the selfie had replaced the autograph. I didn't even think. People go there and that's the opportunity because everyone's super nice with their time.
Starting point is 00:34:01 They had to institute a rule at the American Century Championship this year because Stu Gatch tried to walk in wearing six hats. They said you could only wear one hat, one jersey. Cause people would go there and wear like nine layers of jerseys and just camp out at a hole. Billy, I got an autographed hat by A-Rod.
Starting point is 00:34:19 How about that? But the thing is, is like, I saw this at Super Bowl. You just have them autograph your dirty hat, and then you're like, you know how much this is worth? It's like nothing, it's filled with your sweat, and you don't even remember who the people that signed them are, you just ask them to get the, it's like, you do it for the rush of it, I think,
Starting point is 00:34:35 and then once you do it, you don't even remember who you've asked. It started with Michael Penick, they were promoting Sharpie at the Super Bowl, I think it was Rome on Tuesday, right, I had to sign that hat. They were promoting Sharpie. See if Sharpie's working, that's how we do it on Radio Tuesday. Right, I had to sign that hat. They were promoting Sharpie. See if the Sharpie's working. That's how we do it on Radio Row.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Yeah, but then you asked little Dickie to sign your hat for no reason. Man, that dirty Travis Matthews hat signed by Charles Woodson and Derek Carr, you could get a lot for that on the internet. Never were it. I mean, it was a new hat. I bought it just for the occasion to get an autograph.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I have to imagine. Ricky Petalico. Oh, Billy. That a lot of people listening to this have in their garage Or in a drawer somewhere that autograph they asked for and never looked at again I don't know where going through Stu gots his stuff I would assume would produce an assortment of worthless crud that is just a memory that he doesn't care about anymore of Him requesting something from someone else,
Starting point is 00:35:26 which isn't a special moment, it's a way of life for him. I gotta tell you though, it did feel good. Mike was out there for his anniversary. I was trying to work, but I wasn't. I was saying to myself, if I could just speak one word into a microphone, I could expense this entire vacation. You were trying. But we couldn't figure it out.
Starting point is 00:35:44 But I gotta tell you, it did feel good outside of that picture with Kelsey and the autograph, not asking those guys for anything. Yeah. Just hanging out with them. A welcome vacation from you always hustling is you realizing I don't have the means to actually hustle here.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Correct, I have no microphone to walk you over to. I can't speak to you, so I just hung out with them. I'm technically inept. I am nothing. And I'm three hours behind. Fuentes won't come in at 11 p.m. Eastern. There's always a lonely guy in Lake Tahoe, Dan. Usually it's Brian Kelly. This year it was me. You're saying three hours behind and I feel two weeks behind because the world is moving very fast obviously very crazy and I'm wondering as we talk about some of this stuff if you guys any of you have ever had the dream or the recurring nightmare of being late to class or missing your graduation or not being prepared for a
Starting point is 00:36:42 test because I don't know if that's an affliction only for good and responsible students, and if you guys were that or not. And I feel like that today, because I don't know what you've talked about. I've been off of the grid, so I don't know a lot of stuff that's happened over the last two weeks.
Starting point is 00:36:59 I tried to cram some last night, but it seems like a ton of things have happened in the last two weeks. Well, you can breathe a deep sigh of relief because we had Wimbledon covered. Oh yeah. In fact, we covered the last 15 years of men's tennis yesterday.
Starting point is 00:37:17 We nailed it, we did. I mean, tennis has never been discussed more in a sports radio show than it was yesterday with me and Mike. I'm embarrassed. That's not true, that's not true. I'm proud. It was the first six minutes of tennis that have ever been discussed on this show. Without a joke or having to like work in a funny name like Neffy Perez or Jeff Supan. Tom Gordon.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Oh wow. Flash. Dan it's funny you mentioned it because while you were gone we wanted to make sure that when you got back you didn't miss we could fill you in on everything you missed So here you go. Let's watch natural I hear the drums echoing tonight, but she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation. She's coming in 1230 flight, the moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation. I stopped an old man along the way, hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies. He turned to me as if to say, hurry boy it's waiting there for you It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
Starting point is 00:39:16 I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had The wild dogs cry out in the night As they grow restless longing for some solitary company I know that I must do what's right As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti I seek to cure what's deep inside, Ryan don't this thing that I've become. It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you.
Starting point is 00:40:19 There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. I bless the rains down in Africa. Gonna take some time to do the things we never had. They fired Burl Halter? Yeah, they did. After five long years, Dan, the national nightmare is over. If you're listening on the podcast, there was headlines going on with that.
Starting point is 00:40:50 It wasn't just Taylor singing Africa by Toto. Good job by Taylor. Taylor, man, what a decision to do that. Was it? Was it? Dillimanjaro into Serengeti. Tricky. Prove tricky.
Starting point is 00:41:03 It's funny that you make that helpful addition to the video audio differences, because somebody out there might have been thinking, did I miss the Berhalter lyric in listening so closely to that awful song Taylor produced?

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