The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Monday Hangover: Sink Plunger
Episode Date: January 29, 2024If the season ended today we have a Super Bowl matchup! Billy has a Top 5 people he feels bad for! The guys share their Bayer Heart Racing Moments of the Week. Mike Fuentes learned that their are diff...erent plungers for toilets and sinks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.
God bless football, Billy Gill. God bless football, Billy Gill.
God bless football, Stu Gatz.
You left out Mikey A.
Yeah, I did.
You did it on purpose, didn't you?
You did it on purpose.
You're angry this morning and you're taking it out on me.
I'm not angry.
God bless football, Stu Gatz and Billy Gill.
Thank you, Mikey A.
I just, I told you before, I'm not feeling great today.
It's been, you know, occurrences have happened.
So I just, it slipped my mind.
I'm sorry, Mikey.
Do you care to share one of those occurrences with us
or what do you think?
I have a headache.
I feel like I need to, you know,
I need to throw up a little bit.
Right.
I was talking about the clogging of the toilet.
That happened too.
But in fairness, like I did my part.
Like I went and I asked if there's a,
I was here at work, I asked, is there a plunger?
I checked both bathrooms and then I was told
we don't have a plunger, so like,
I don't know what more I can do.
Wait, so you made the walk of shame out of the bathroom.
You have clogged the toilet here in our offices
in our studios. It was paper.
It was paper.
Okay, but you made the walk of shame
and asked somebody if we have a plunger?
Correct, I did.
Interesting, that's embarrassing.
So a rough way to start Monday.
I felt like I owned it though.
Like I like, okay, here's how we can do this.
And I know the way this office works, right?
Yep.
So I could pretend that nothing happened and walk away because there was like two people
in the office at the time because it was really early, right?
And I could just walk away.
Early afternoon, of course.
Then there will be some sort of investigation
and then they'll start going through cameras,
there'll be like a whole thing,
and then they'll try to shame me for being a human being
and having to go to the bathroom.
So I said like, whatever, I'll just go and I'll ask
and I'll resolve the
situation because what's gonna happen again knowing this place is that people are just
gonna continue to use that toilet and then someone is gonna be the person that flushes
it and it's gonna overflow and then it's gonna become an entire thing.
So there's two things on this one I think you know the next time this happens I think
what you need to do is say hey I, I mean, I have no idea.
Someone must have used a bathroom over the weekend.
Well, then they'll ask you,
why were you in the bathroom for 20 minutes
on a toilet that was used over the-
You were trying-
Looking for a plunger.
Yeah, looking for a plunger, exactly, Mikey.
And then the plunger itself is a very tricky
and dangerous game.
I don't know about you, but when my toilet is clogged,
I just shove the plunger in there and hope for the best.
I mean, it's about it.
No.
What else can you do?
I know how to plunge.
Do you?
I could plunge like the best of them.
There's a science and a strategy to plunging?
Really?
Yep.
I learned recently there's two separate plungers.
Really?
The shallow one is for the sink.
Huh.
The big one's for the toilet.
I had no idea.
Me neither.
I was only using the same one.
Don't mix those up.
Yeah.
I was like using the same plunger.
Yeah, I was like these things are universal.
You know, nothing to do.
That's gross.
You can't use a plunger that you've used in the toilet in the sink.
Semantics.
What do you mean semantics?
Why do you need to use a plunger in the sink?
One plunger to plunge them all.
Uh.
Why would you need to plunge the sink?
The sink gets clogged. Oh, your sink gets clogged. No, use a snake.
I snake the toilet. No, there's no snaking this situation. You snake a bathtub and you snake a
sink. What are you plunging? What did you put down the sink? Listen, man, they make the plunger for
the sink. I've never seen a shallow plunger for the sink. Yeah, good look into this. I look at the one.
You know, orange.
Yeah, I just grab whatever plunger I can find.
I shove it into the toilet and hope for the best.
Yeah, just start with the suction.
Just get it out of there.
Yeah.
Anyway, we have a Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Very exciting.
We have two weeks to talk about it.
I know we do.
But we do have to talk about yesterday's games.
Mike E.A. has his first ever top five.
Wow. My ever top five.
Wow.
My first top five, I'm excited.
What inspired you?
I thought he went there as he was gonna do one too.
He didn't.
What inspired, because this has been awful
the last couple of weeks.
Oh please, last week was amazing.
What was it again?
I don't even remember.
It was so great, you can't remember.
Top five things.
Top five things.
Top five things, top five that, top five this.
Hold on, let me clarify something.
What sink are you doing, the bathroom sink
or the kitchen sink?
Kitchen sink.
Kitchen probably.
Oh, that's even gross, sir.
You use the toilet plunger in the kitchen sink
where your dishes are?
Yeah, because I put it in there
and I never touch a sink again.
I don't clean it at all.
You don't.
Please.
You go and you clean the sink afterwards.
I don't believe you.
House of bleach. That's not, no. No, you don't. I don't believe you. How's the bleach?
That's not.
No.
No, you don't.
I'm with Billy on this.
You have a garbage disposal?
No.
Oh, okay.
Well, that explains that.
Now it's making sense.
I thought you were talking about the bathroom sink.
I'm like, what are you sticking down the bathroom sink?
There's a toilet right there.
So the lion spent the entire season.
What's the craziest thing you've thrown out of the toilet? Thanks. What's the craziest thing you've thrown out in the toilet?
Thanks.
What's the craziest thing you've thrown out in the toilet?
The craziest thing I've thrown into a toilet?
Yeah, to flush.
You're like, ah, flush this.
Be careful.
Trying to think.
Cops are knocking.
Yeah.
Mikey got it. How about you, Billy?
Well, we used to have a lot of fish.
I have flushed fish down the toilet.
Dead fish.
Really? Yeah, that's weird.
I would hope they're dead.
Yeah, no, I didn't do it like fish.
Actually, maybe sometimes.
You don't want Pita calling Billy.
Don't, Billy, be careful. This is a dangerous game, man.
We did have a murderer fish. Really?
Yeah, there was a time that we had a fish tank and we got these like little neon fish that
would swim around and we had like a black light.
It was like really cool.
And then almost every day we would come home and like one of them would be floating around
and we couldn't figure out what was going on.
And then eventually we identified the fish that was killing all
of the other fish.
Right.
And I believe that that fish got a death sentence.
If I remember correctly, I think that fish was, uh, faced a fair trial, was found guilty
of killing, I believe, 11 fish at the time. And I had to face the consequences.
I'm not gonna listen.
And it was also like a strange, here's like a really weird,
it was at the same time that Johnny Versace had been
murdered and Andrew Kunanan was on the lamb.
And they were trying to find the person that murdered
Johnny Versace.
So we named this fish Kunanan because he was a murderer.
Got it. Yeah.
And then flushed it down the toilet.
Well, yeah.
I'm just going to say there is a fair trial.
Mm-hmm.
And our fish faced the consequences for his actions of murdering 11 other fish.
Interesting.
Is it?
No.
Oh.
Dan Campbell flushed the lion Lions season down the toilet yesterday.
How about that for a transition, Mike Fuentes, huh?
Wow.
I mean, the Lions spent the entire, almost an entire season not acting like the Lions,
right up until they acted like the Lions.
Well, but they acted the way that they acted all season long.
Yeah, but it was a time and a place, Billy.
I actually was surprised that Dan Campbell
settled for the field goal at the end of the first half.
I thought he is, he's, man, he has an opportunity here
to get points.
He has an opportunity to put it up,
I think three scores at the time.
It was 21-7 at the time.
He had a chance to make it 28-7.
He opted for 24-7.
Yeah, but it wasn't a guaranteed 28-7. And like he was he was kind of playing the game where it looked like
He's gonna go for it and at the last second he threw up his arms
He's like field goal field goal because there was like six seconds left or something in the half
But yeah, whoo. Well, it was fourth down to I think no it was fourth down
Yeah, I thought I thought he was going to me too. I was like this is insane
I think if you're gonna go for it, that's the time to go for it, because there's not going to be a response.
You know, it's the end of the half.
Well, yeah, they ended up,
I think they ended up getting the ball back
with like six seconds,
and then they had some sort of penalty.
So they just kneeled and they took it to the half.
But yeah, he had a chance to put it up three scores.
And I was like, you got to do this.
They've only given up seven points so far,
but I mean, these are the 49ers.
Who knows what could happen in the second half.
Hmm.
What he did in the second half.
What he did in the second half was cost his team
a chance of winning that football game.
I mean, he did.
I understand the analytics I get, you know,
the percentages.
No, I do.
I know they have a person there telling Dan Campbell,
hey, your percentage of getting this going forward
on fourth down is better than kicking a field goal
I get all of it. I saw someone who actually I think it was Kevin Clark who actually like pointed out that like Dan Campbell
People are just saying this is an analytics thing because this is what's happening with the analytics
But this is not who Dan Campbell is Dan Campbell just kind of grew up in the coaching world
Correct
Watching Sean Payton do stuff like that,
and this is just the way that he is,
is he believes in his guys
and he thinks that they're gonna get it.
So analytics-
There was no analytics involved.
He was just like, go for it.
Yeah, I think analytics may be catching a stray here,
even though he's probably doing things
that the analytics would agree with, which is great.
If Dan Campbell, anti-analytics,
grit guy brings down analytics by doing with the analytics
we say is the right thing,
while not consulting them in any way whatsoever.
So what you're saying is Dan Campbell accidentally smart.
Dan Campbell being patron saint of analytics would be great.
It's funny, yes.
The only analytic he knows is go for it.
Exactly.
I'm going, I think one of the fourth downs, they cut to him on camera, where after a third down, he's already saying go for it exactly I'm going I think I think one of the fourth downs they cut to him on camera right after a third down
He's already saying go for it. Yeah, he was not consulted. Yeah, he did not ask you guys
You guys are ever in an argument and somebody agrees with you and then they start giving their reasons and you're like no
I don't really agree with that person. They might come to the same conclusion
But their argument is actually making me look worse.
That's what analytics and Dan Campbell on. It's one of those things.
Listen, he wanted to be up by three scores at the end of the half, although he didn't feel it was
important to be up by three scores when it was 24 to 10. And he had a chance to kick a field goal
he decided not to. He went for it. Then he went for it again later in the game. He cost his team
a chance to win. You don't have to be the toughest guy in the stadium all the time. We get it. You like to go for it. Give your team a chance.
They're reeling. The Niners are coming back. You're stumbling to the finish line here. Give your
team an opportunity to win the football game. You don't always need to be the toughest guy in the
stadium. We get it, Dan Campbell. We get it. You like to go for it.
We understand it.
It got you to the NFC championship game.
But you know what?
There's a time and a place.
And yesterday's second half was not the time nor the place.
That's all.
I mean, I could see him thinking up 14 if we're up 21.
That's a dagger and that's the game.
Yeah, but we just talked about end of the half.
He wanted to be up three scores.
He took the field goal, so why not do it again?
All right, I think I'm yelling at you.
You're so very mad.
I wanted the lines to get there, man.
Why?
Why did you want the lines?
Because I didn't want the 49ers to be there.
Yeah, something new.
It's a good story.
A Super Bowl rematch, Super Bowl live rematch.
I was alarmed by the amount of people who texted me saying,
I can't believe I'm so tired of the Chiefs.
I'm tired of my homes, Kelsey, I'm tired of Andy Reed.
I'm tired of the Chiefs being in the Super Bowl.
And I guess I'm kind of tired.
I just wanted some fresh teams in there.
And the Lions, I mean, if the Lions can make it,
anyone can and that includes the Jets.
But you were excited that the Ravens lost
so you could crush Lamar Jackson.
Well, I feel bad for what's about to happen
to Lamar Jackson.
It's already happening.
By you.
I don't know if I'm gonna crush him, to be honest with you.
I'm gonna crush him.
But you're gonna crush Dan Campbell?
Don't know.
I am gonna crush Dan Campbell, yes.
I mean, those are easy decisions as far as I'm concerned,
what Lamar Jackson does is not easy. What Dan Campbell had to decide yesterday in the
second half, those were easy decisions. So I will crush Lamar Jackson. I guess, I don't
know. He also really botched that play. It was like the third down on the goal line in
the last drive that ended up wasting a time. Oh too. Yes. That that was more probably more critical than the field. He puts Montgomery
in the game. He's essentially telling you, Hey, I'm going to run the ball here. They
knew it was coming. They stopped it. And he had to blow a time out. He had three left.
Jameer Gibbs is so much more dynamic than David Montgomery at any crucial moment. I
don't know why you would have Montgomery and not him. Just upset. But you know what?
You leave the backdoor open for Jared Goff.
He's going to go through it every time.
Lions plus seven was great.
Look, cover.
Backdoor cover, baby.
Why are you looking at me?
That saved my whole weekend.
It saved my weekend as well.
Big save.
Why are you staring at me? I'm judging me.
I'm not judging you, but also like I have an ad that's on my computer and it's like one of those mattress ads where they have
like wine glasses and they drop bowling balls on the mattress to show you like how much
mattress can absorb and I'm always gonna watch those. I'm always very fascinated by those.
You're always nervous. It's going to fall this time. Well, this time they didn't have wine in the actual glass. They had a tower of wine glasses and they didn't have wine
in the glasses. They had like little like silicone cubes inside of them, right? So that
it would fall on the cube would just fall on that, which I don't understand. I don't
trust them. Well, here's the thing that I don't understand.
I'm calling BS. Yeah, no, you got to play for keeps wine or nothing.
No, well, that's the thing. If you if this is your mattress with wine you're doing and you're showing another mattress
Ruin that other mattress have wine go all over everything on that other mattress not a little little gel cube
That's not gonna do any damage like put down some wood put down actually some white carpeting have it ruin the mattress
Have it ruin the carpet,
have there's some sort of electrical thing,
and then all of a sudden it goes into that outlet
and then there's a fire and your house burns down
all because you couldn't drop a bowling ball on the mattress.
You know what I mean?
I do know what you mean, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyways, I love those mattress commercials, this thing.
But also, who would ever drop a bowling ball on a mattress?
Nobody.
And the contraption. Why would you unless it was an accident?
Why would it be an accident?
The contraption that they used to do.
Why would you have that eye?
Yeah, it's so weird.
Do you guys like your mattresses?
Do you have your spouse or whatever?
Do you do a thing where like, oh, I can't feel anything move in my mattress?
No.
Yeah.
I mean, a mattress is a mattress, you know?
I think I need a new pillow
I haven't thought about my mattress since that day I bought it. That's great
That's the you did you got a great mattress if you haven't thought about it since the day you bought it great mattress
I wonder if I sleep in the same spot too much and I'm wearing it in in the one spot, you know
Aren't you supposed to though? Isn't that like yeah, you fit into the mattress. That's the technology behind it
Right. Yeah, but I'm wondering if the part that I fit in is weaker than the other parts.
Like if I were to go lay down in another ball, a bowling ball on it.
I may do that.
Why would you keep a bowling ball that I is a really good question.
We'll discuss it next. the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the whispered and that was an announcement. Sometimes when you are playing under the weather
in the elements that we're in,
it's very cold down here today.
Yes.
By very cold, I mean it was probably high 50s,
maybe low 60s, so we're really struggling down here
in Miami.
Sometimes when you're playing not 100%,
you need to really give it that extra, know what I mean sure yeah so I'm trying to I'm trying to bring that today right
and I end because it was cold I have coffee right in you know cups so you're playing with
pain today is what you're saying I'm not playing with pain but I'm also playing like caffeinated
right I mean got it yeah and we're back anyway I'm gonna play a caffeinated. Right. I mean got it. Yeah, and we're back. Anyway
I'm gonna play a little game of if the season ended today. Oh, wow
So you're gonna ask us questions based on if the season ended today
Well, no, I'm gonna tell you if the season ended today who our next matchup would be and then we talk about that said matchup
Even though we still haven't really talked about the games we talked about the Lions game but
we didn't really talk about the Ravens cheese game so should we play if the
season ended today today sure I mean Mike Fuentes hit the if the season ended
today open we don't have that okay if the season ended today and then there are a bunch of graphics. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Things flying across the screen. Eater of the Mind.
It's a wonder we've won best football podcast
for two consecutive years.
The greatest football podcast there is.
Farringstew got some Billy Gill and Mikey A.
I'm trying to come up with the top five athletes
who could know plunging a toilet.
I mean, I hope you can figure that out.
Number one.
Gary Plummer.
Jake Plummer.
Jake Plummer.
Damn it, Mikey A stole my job.
I had Gary first. Ah.
Linebacker, 49ers.
Billy, please, I want to stop doing this voice.
Why are you doing that voice?
No one asked you.
Because it's the opening to the season ended today.
Are you a ghost?
I think I'm kind of Dracula.
Oh.
A little bit of a ghost.
OK.
You know, you want to know how you know, like,
or how I know that I'm under the weather.
So Jake Plumber is obviously like very obvious.
And I was going to change his name to Jake Plunger.
But his name already works as is.
No, I'm searching for a guy whose last name is Plunger.
So.
There's gotta be one from like the 30s or something.
Yeah, I hope so.
Some guy who like his profession became his last name
and then he just went with it.
And he went by Turd.
Turd Plunger.
Carl Plunger.
How about Pooh Richardson?
I like that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Peewee Reese?
No, doesn't work.
You don't plunge on a number one.
I'm only on a number two.
So if you're plunging on a number one, please call your doctor immediately.
Like something came out the wrong way.
Yeah.
Anyway, what happened there?
What do you mean?
Well, if you're plunging after a number one.
Okay, thanks.
All right. So if the
season ended today. Yes. The San Francisco 49ers. Yep. We'll be playing. Who the Kansas
no they made it back. Oh my god. Super 54 rematch. Unbelievable. I can't believe the Chiefs are underdogs again.
I don't understand that.
The line open, I think, at two and a half.
It's already down to one.
San Francisco is still the favorite.
I just, I mean, I just can't believe we're doing this again with Patrick Mahomes.
What you're doing is you're providing them with the disrespect that they want, covet and need.
Oh, you still don't think we're good enough?
Okay.
I just did it against Josh Allen on the road.
I just did it against Lamar Jackson on the road.
And now you don't think I could do it on a neutral field against Brock Purdy?
Get out of here.
Okay.
Full disclosure, we both said that if we were in the AFC, we would want to play the cheese
because this is a down year and this is the year that you want to face them.
So we are here now, crapping on everyone who has doubted the Chiefs while being two people
who doubted the Chiefs.
In fairness, they didn't look good headed into the playoffs.
So you know what they're suffering from?
I call this the Alex Rodriguez syndrome because he was so good when he was young that when he had a down year, you were like,
oh, you know, he's only batting 285, you know?
But in reality, it's still a great year.
It's just a bad year for him.
285 is like almost a batting title now.
That's what I'm saying.
But they've been so good that even if they're just
a little bit down, they're done.
Not any good.
Let's be clear about what's been good for them though.
The defense has been historically great in the postseason.
That's how good the defense has been.
Kelsey's been very good the last two games.
Kelsey's been great.
Last two games.
He wasn't that great at the end of the season.
The cheese looked good yesterday.
It looked really good.
But if I told you, the cheese were gonna score 17 points
against Baltimore before the game,
you would figure Baltimore puts up 20 21 points and wins the game
2417 if you tell me that here's the weird thing about that game is the first half of that game yesterday
The chiefs were completely in control and it did not seem like it was going to be a close game
whatsoever
Yeah, whatsoever, but it was also still a one-score game for a lot of the game
I mean it ended a one-score game, but it didn't feel like the Ravens had any chance of winning that game
Even though it was I think a seven or ten point game. It was 17 seven and a half
Yeah, and then the second half the Ravens did everything in their power to lose that game. Yes, they did absolutely
Everything to lose that game flowers was living a nightmare. I felt okay
I'm gonna make a list of that game. I felt bad for him. I'm going to make a list of top five people
I felt bad for yesterday.
We'll get back to that.
Two top fives just like that.
All right.
Well, maybe three if I could find a plunger.
Yeah.
The only time I thought the Ravens were kind of building
momentum was one of those last drives that completed
like two or three passes in a row to Old Elbeckham.
And then I thought, oh man, I'm really excited about Old
Elbeckham.
They're not going to win this game. Right. He then I thought, oh man, I'm really excited about Old Elbecombe. They're not gonna win this game.
Right.
He had three catches 22 yards.
He was really quiet yesterday.
He had one drive.
One drive and that's it.
So I was watching the game at my sister's house
and my brother-in-law was like,
I forgot, Old Elbecombe was on the team.
I'm like, yeah, he's done nothing today.
He really didn't have a good game yesterday.
He did not.
They threw him the ball like three times
in like the fourth quarter
when they were just
trying to hook it up.
But that was the drive.
It's weird because Zay Flowers, what an afternoon.
He had five catches for 115 yards.
He had a touchdown as well.
He had their only touchdown.
But he fumbled inside the two yard line.
He had the 15 yard penalty on the big catch that he made.
And you can't give 15 yards back against that defense.
You just can't do it.
Well, it wasn't super relevant.
I mean, he ended up fumbling it, but they would have scored a touchdown in that play.
You're right. I'm just saying you.
He was their only thing that was working offensively, aside from Lamar Jackson, obviously,
but he was their only like piece that was working yesterday.
So you felt bad because you knew this is all going to fall on him.
Then he goes and he injures himself by punching the bench so he's bleeding and
then they have to tend to that out of frustration but you feel bad because he
was having a great game and then you know they're gonna blame him for this
even though he was really the only piece that was working for them. Lamar will
get some blame as well that throw that interception late in the fourth
quarter there was a terrible throw and a terrible decision.
Those are decisions that Patrick Mahomes
really doesn't make.
Like he doesn't make bad decisions.
So this is not the best Patrick Mahomes we've seen.
It's certainly the best Chiefs defense we've seen
with Patrick Mahomes, but he's, you know,
on the verge of winning a third Super Bowl
before the age of 29, it's incredible.
That's the thing, you were saying earlier about like,
oh, I'm already sick of the Chiefs. Well, you better get used to it because I didn't say that I was I was alarmed by the amount of people who were like
Oh, I'm tired of seeing the chiefs in the Super Bowl good clarification. Thank you
I have my top five people I feel bad for already. Yeah already
Interesting. Yep. I'll get the fanfare ready. Okay. All right. So these are Billy's top five people
He felt bad for yesterday on Championship Sunday.
Correct.
Those, okay.
Exciting.
Number five.
Yes.
Dan Campbell.
I didn't feel bad for him.
I felt bad for him.
You know, he got them as far as he did.
I feel like he still should be beloved and praised
in Detroit for taking them as far as he did.
But they were right there.
Then you hear after the game, he's talking to his team and he said, guys,
this may have been our only shot.
He's like, I don't believe this, but it's not going to be easy to get back here.
And this may have been our only shot.
And it ultimately came down to him probably.
And he says he doesn't regret going for it on fourth down the two times that he
did, which is nor should he okay nor should he wow
Mikey you agree with Dan Campbell absolutely why absolute because that's
how he got there you can't say you can't preach the whole time all year I
trust my guys I go for it I trust my guys I go for it and then say unless it
really counts and I don't, I'm kind of,
you dance with who brung you.
I'm kind of, I'm kind of with him, but especially at the end
of the first half, when he settled for the field, I'm like, yeah,
that's cute, but the Super Bowls on the line here, just take points
when you can San Francisco is just waiting to run.
Time and place.
This is a volcano waiting to blow.
Just take the points when you can get them.
Thank you.
So I feel bad for him.
Anyways, number four.
Number four.
Jared Goff.
I hear you.
Jared Goff.
Played well.
Is good enough.
Played really well.
You know what I mean?
No doubt he's good enough.
Yes.
Jared Goff, I believe, can win you a Super Bowl.
He's been to one. He's been to an NSC championship game. And I agree with you. He's good enough. Yes. Jared Goff, I believe, can win you a Super Bowl. He's been to one.
He's been to an NSC championship game, and I agree with you. He's good enough.
He's been to one. He then got traded away from his team. Then his team won the Super Bowl the very next year that he got traded.
You feel bad for him there because he took him there. He's on the verge of getting right back to another Super Bowl.
He's going to have his redemption story. He was replacing Matthew Stafford, who was beloved,
beloved in Detroit.
In fact, I believe they honored him
after he won a Super Bowl with the Rams,
which is kind of crazy,
because he won it for another team.
And now he comes into Detroit,
he's done something that,
how long has it been since another quarterback has done this?
He takes him to the NFC Championship game,
is about to take him to the Super Bowl,
and it's kind of undone by his coach's decision
Next ten years per to your golf. What do you want?
golf
Golf golf golf okay. Yep. The line are the lines still on the trade or no?
I don't know. I gotta think about it. It's up in the air. We'll see
The war is still raging. Yeah, that'll might be number three, Billy.
Lamar Jackson.
Yeah, I mean, Lamar did everything, including throwing a
pass to himself.
He did. I saw that.
He had a 13 yard completion.
And by the way, everybody who came out with like the
Giselle quotes, OK, the first person that did it was fine.
Everyone else, we get it. OK, everybody's making the same joke here. Giselle once. Okay, the first person that did it was fine. Everyone else, we get it, okay?
Everybody's making the same joke here.
Giselle once said that Tom Brady
can't throw the ball and catch it himself.
And then they put the quotes
and they had Lamar Jackson throwing the ball
and catching it himself.
And by the way, by the way,
if I don't remember who it was,
didn't get him by the ankle,
he could have scored a touchdown.
He could have gotten like an 80 or touchdown
or something on that play.
Like there was open field down there that he could have scored if he. He could have gotten like an 80 yard touchdown or something like that play. Like there was open field down there
that he could have scored if he wasn't tripped up.
And that would have been the greatest play we've ever seen.
No doubt.
In the history of football.
Probably.
But a 10 yard play isn't the greatest play
which Tony Romo was like,
that's one of the best plays you ever see in championship.
I'm so done with Tony Romo.
I'm gonna start on Tony Romo.
I'm glad they said that.
It's one of the best 13 yard plays I've ever seen in my life.
A hundred percent.
Yes.
Fair.
I'm glad that you said that you're done with Tony Romo
because there were a lot.
Now we can talk about this.
There are a lot of people who are very down on Tony Romo
and they're like, oh my God, CBS paid this guy $180 million
for 10 years and this is what we're getting.
He's become so bad.
That's OK.
So he's saying that, right?
And then also saw a tweet through God's and I know you saw this because everyone was saying what Mike
Funtz is saying he is so bad and I don't think so I think he's fine, right?
I also I'm with you Billy. I also and I don't want to be you know disrespectful or
Disparage, you know a profession doesn't't really matter to me who's calling the game.
Okay, I'm gonna watch the game regardless.
The game matters.
It's not a huge thing.
Like I couldn't tell you.
Well, you really don't have a choice in the matter either.
No, I know, I don't have a choice in the matter,
but I'm saying like, if you were to tell me,
oh my God, who do you want to call this game?
Tony Romo or Greg Olson, I'd be like,
I don't care, just put the game on.
I'm not gonna be really paying too much attention.
Anyways, so everyone was crapping all over Tony Romo
yesterday, right?
Except Chris Cody who came on and was like,
Jim Nant tweeted out, Jim Nant and Tony Romo,
best team that there is.
I'm like, is he not following along
with what's happening here?
Or is he just trying to zig?
Like what's going on here?
It was very confusing.
I mean, I will tell you this,
Romo gets me excited for a big game.
He does.
His excitement gets me excited
and I don't really care about the X's and O's.
It doesn't matter.
I was to God, he was a quarterback.
His first two seasons, he was like,
wow, this guy's a genius.
And now it's kind of like,
he's like the excited like family member
who it seems like doesn't watch all the games
and is just really excited by everything that's going on like oh my god that was
such a great play Jim and it's like the thing is that half the time they're half
the time they're not great plays that's exactly right
innocence to me buckin aceman number two. Fucking aceman. Oh, come on.
Zay flowers.
Zay flowers.
Number two.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Had a great game.
He did have a great game.
Dugatz mentioned it 115 yards.
He seemed to be again with the exception of Lamar, the only thing that was working offensively.
Correct.
Then he fumbles the ball out of the end zone, touch back and then he goes and he
punches a bench and he cuts his hand and you just feel for him because you know he's going to blame
himself for that loss and maybe it is his fault. It started off well. Yeah, he was having a great
game so I feel bad for him. Okay. And number one. Number one, Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift. How, why, what?
I feel bad for Taylor Swift and I was thinking about it when they were doing a promo for the Grammys and they showed her on the screen deep in the booth, like deep in the box that she was in.
She was in front and center, wasn't looking for attention, they just went and they found her and then they had the Grammys are coming up on CVS, the date is, and they were showing her, and the person that she was with sawed on the TV
and pointed up at the TV,
and she mouthed something along the lines of,
please go away.
And then I realized.
Get over it.
I realized, and you know.
Stop showing up to the games.
I'm probably, okay, I realized,
and I'm probably the only one that feels this way.
While Taylor does go to the games
and knows that the cameras are going to be on her,
they also are constantly putting her on the TV.
And it has to be annoying.
Like there's not a private moment for her
at any of these games.
She goes to the game, she's just watching her boyfriend
and they just plaster her face all over the TV,
every single game, she can't do anything.
She's there, she's cheering, she's cheering too hard.
She's swag surfing and she's doing that wrong
Jason Kelsey's taking off his shirt. Where's Taylor looking around to see her? Oh, there's this where's Taylor?
Where's Taylor? Where's Taylor? It's just I feel bad for her. She can't even enjoy these great moments for her boyfriend
Boo-hoo. I'm just saying I'm a billionaire. I don't feel bad for her. What's I'm saying like I felt bad for her
It's my list of people I felt bad for.
This is something that I felt bad for.
Yeah, you should.
Your list.
When they showed her and I saw her mouth, he please go away.
I said, you know what?
She didn't ask for any of this.
Even though she kind of did.
She did, yes.
She came in good.
Mikey A's first ever top five.
First ever.
Can't believe it.
Next.
We will get to Mikey A's first ever top five here in a few moments. Very exciting. We will get to bear aspirin in a second. Heart stopping moments of the weekend. I'm excited. Are you? I am.
Okay. Which of these stats guys? Patrick Mahon, because people are starting to say he's, you
know, he's Tom Brady, which he is not. He is not. He's not. Well, he's got six Super
bowls to go before he passes him five before he ties him. Billy's one, two Super Bowls. Brady's one, six, right? Or Brady's one, seven. So five
to tie at six to pass him. By the way, he's got to win four of those with the chiefs.
And then the fifth one, he has to go to the jets and win one there. Okay. Cause that's
essentially what Brady did. He went to the box. All right. But anyway, my home's in the
playoffs. That's so many, he's so many Super Bowls. I know. I know. It's so many super. I know. I know. It's, it's insane
what Brady did. He was pretty good. 14 and three overall, my home's in the playoffs,
13 and one in regulation, two and Oh on the road, three, you know, as an underdog, also
the all time leader in yards per game, passer rating, completion percentage, TD to interception ratio in the post season.
Who'd you steal that from?
Cause I saw that also and I don't remember who it was.
Ryan Cortez, our researcher.
He stole that from someone cause I saw something
on Twitter.
We're all stealing it from somebody, Billy.
Well,
Isn't that how research works?
Yeah. No.
Well, there's a source and then we all steal
from the source, you know?
Well, that's, then you have to resign as president of Harvard. One guy did the hard work and then we, you know, that's then you have to resign as president of Harvard
One guy did the hard work and then we'd you know, he stole from Nick right just so we're clear Nick right Who stole from someone else by the way who stole from someone else by the way who stole from someone else by the way?
Anyway, who googled it. Yes
You're excited for the bear aspirin heart stopping moments. I am very excited for a moment of the week
Are we going around the table here?
Yeah, you want to?
Yeah.
Before we do that, so guys, let me ask you a question.
Sure.
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Nice, and we appreciate Bear being a sponsor of the show.
So we have to do heart-stopping moments here?
We get to do heart-stopping moments.
Wow, what a pleasure.
Yeah.
My flint, does you want to go first?
My choice for the Bear heart-stopping moment was Zay Flowers.
Yeah.
Yeah, fumbling on the one-yard line, you just took a big penalty for taunting.
It was the most obvious taunting call I've ever seen.
I can't believe people were arguing that it shouldn't taunting. It was the most obvious taunting call I've ever seen. I can't believe people were arguing that it shouldn't have happened.
It was a very obvious taunting call.
And then just when he's about to correct the error of his ways,
Snead punks him and punches the ball out
on the one yard line.
Wasn't even close.
Like I thought it was, oh no, he might have gotten in.
No, it was he was way behind the line.
And that was my heart stopping moment.
All right.
Heart breaking moment.
Yeah, more like that.
Mike, what do you have?
So the Lions, they're rolling second half.
The 49ers score.
It's 24-17.
Lions got the ball.
And Jermere Gibbs on the first play, bumbles it,
gives the ball right back to the 49ers.
And I just thought my heart stopped
because I thought to myself, this is it.
This is when the Lions lose the game.
And they did.
And Greg Olson, unlike Tony Romo,
did a great job of explaining that Gibbs went the wrong way,
that that was on Gibbs, he went the wrong way,
golf was going the other way, it all got screwed up.
And I don't care.
I just want Romo saying, you can't fumble there Jim.
And that's it.
We move on.
Gotta protect the ball in these games Jim.
Yeah, ball is important.
Billy, what was your heartbreaking moment
from the weekend or heart stopping moment?
Excuse me.
Down 34 to 31, the Lions just scored a touchdown.
Yeah.
Down a field goal.
Seconds left in the game.
They have one last shot.
The onside kick.
They go, they kick it off.
Craig Reynolds reaches out as far as he can.
Right off the tips of his fingers.
Goes into their five or six yards,
recovered by the 49ers, and their season's over.
Now Craig did touch it only nine yards.
So it was a penalty regardless.
So even if he would have caught it, he touched it too soon.
But it doesn't matter.
Just like that, it went literally through his fingertips
this season.
The whole season.
And that's how the Lions season came to an end.
You had a bad game, huh?
Craig Reynolds?
Well, Craig Reynolds, Josh Reynolds, all Reynolds, the
Reynolds guys, Reynolds, Reynolds is Josh. Josh Reynolds was a complete disaster yesterday.
He was anyway. My heart, my heart stopping moment was watching Jared golf cover the spread
driving down the field. That's all I cared about at that point. I needed something to bail me out for the weekend and golf drove the field, got me a touchdown,
got me a big cover there. And that was a heart stopping moment for me. Yeah. Yeah. The heart
stopping moment for me. Yep. Watching golf go down the field and that handoff to Montgomery.
I thought I just thought the Lions weren't going to score. You think he kicks a field goal there to make it seven for the onside kick? Where does he go for
it? I mean, this ain't the outcome. This outcome is the same no matter what they lose. So
yeah, wow. Right. No, but I don't cut. I would still cover with a field goal. It was plus
seven and a half. Yeah, you're right. That's my, no, no, you would have, you would have
pushed. I was actually thinking about that. Oh, you had seven and a half. Yeah, you're right. That's my point. No, no, you would have pushed. I was actually thinking about that. Oh, you had seven and a half.
Well, I bought the hook, yes, you remember?
I was gonna say, all right.
I said they're gonna win it, right?
But I bought it off the seven and a half, yes.
That's right, that's right.
I think you made fun of me.
Yeah, you did.
Well, because you said they're gonna win outright.
Right?
I mean, he did go for it on fourth down.
No, no, but he was saying, he kicked the field goal there,
but the outcome is the same, they still lose.
But it's a spread of things. You're saying would he have gone for field goal was fourth down
He didn't go for fuel he went for a touchdown. I got a touchdown on fourth down and say that he asked that
Yeah, no, I'm telling you right and I was outraged. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Okay. Take a field goal
Yeah, it was more risk for his bed is what he's saying. Yes. Yeah
It's a nervous wreck. Yeah, it was terrible. We can just kick a field goal, man. Why it was the Bayer Heart stopping moment.
Exactly right.
Thank you, thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Geez, Mikey gets it.
Mikey, so what is the nature of your top five here?
What inspired you?
What is it?
Tell us about it.
So I got a text from from a buddy yesterday
and he said rank these teams in terms of misery in our lifetime.
So my top five is the top five most miserable teams of my lifetime.
OK, just NFL.
Yeah, just the NFL.
I have two LLIs. OK.
First one is the Atlanta Falcons.
283. That's enough right there.
Mm hmm. Number two, the Minnesota Vikings.
Second, OK. 283 that's enough right there. Number two the Minnesota Vikings Second oh, I like okay. Well the Vikings have had some good teams though. They had you know, they they they have but
Misery comes in different forms. Okay. Oh and foreign Super Bowl right? Oh and foreign Super Bowl. Yeah. Yeah
I mean the the the Anderson miss kick five turnovers the far of interception the Anderson miss kick is Yeahovers, the far of interception. The Anderson miss came in field goal range.
Yeah, yeah, it was brutal.
All right, number five.
All right, exciting.
The Los Angeles Chargers.
No team has had more great teams that just could only get to the AMC championship.
They were always like the one or the two seed
with Phillip Rivers, they had all that talent
and they lead the league in like the last decade
in one score losses.
Number four.
Before you get to number four,
do you guys believe that Jim Harbaugh was speechless
upon meeting Justin Herbert?
He was starstruck.
I could see that happening actually.
Did you see the report someone tweeted at us
that Jim Harbaugh has reached out
and texted every member of the Chargers?
And if you haven't gotten a text from Jim Harbaugh
personally, you're in trouble.
Wow, find out this week if Austin Eckler got a text.
I mean.
When we spoke to him, he had not gotten a text from him.
It was early in the process, though.
It was early in the process, but he had not heard from Jim yet.
So I do kind of wonder.
OK. Something's up there.
All right, number four, Mikey.
Austin's a free agent.
What are you doing? That's about if you're hard by your kind of
interested in Eckler, but not fully interested.
You said, what do you do? What do you send them?
You tell everyone you're interested in them.
Okay.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You send them to the text.
All of a sudden, Jim Harbaugh is someone that's,
oh, he's a free agent.
We can't text him because Jim Harbaugh
is gonna follow the rules, get out of here.
Either way, if I was John, I'd be like,
Jim, I love you buddy, love you like a brother.
But guess what?
Like you're coaching in my conference.
You're not coming to this game
and you're not getting access to the locker room,
you're not getting access to anything.
You're not gonna start sweet talking my players,
you're not gonna be wandering around here unattended,
like you are an enemy right now
and you will have full security around you
making sure that what you're doing is on the up and up.
You're going up to your seats, you're going down, that's it.
You're not talking to anybody on my team.
Jim was happy that John lost.
Anyway, number four, Mike.
Detroit Lions.
Yes.
The reason that they're only number four
is because they were just sort of bad for so long.
Like they didn't have any ups and downs.
They were just kind of bad.
And then last night will be the one thing they get to hang their hand on.
Okay.
Number three.
Yes.
The New York Jets.
I don't have to get into it.
No, I thought they'd be the AFC Championship games.
Yes.
Twice being like a favorite and then watching their quarterback go down in the first game
of the season.
They're the New York Jets.
I'm shocked the Lions and Jets are not one too.
But anyway, go ahead.
Your list.
Number two, the Buffalo Bills.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
They're fine to get so close so many times.
Yes.
And just not do it.
I mean, at what point as a Bills fan, can you actually believe you're going to win
the Super Bowl?
Like the clocks need to read zero.
Been to four, you haven't won any.
Josh Allen, you haven't won any.
Scott Norwood.
I get it.
All right.
Number one.
Right.
A whole bunch.
Yeah.
All right.
Number one.
Yep.
Cleveland Browns.
Yeah. Not only have you been bad for so long, but your team was taken away
from you and the team that was taken away has won two championships.
Yeah. But they had that moment.
Cleveland Browns have to be the most miserable.
They had that moment with Flacco though. Yeah.
Yeah. And then, and then it came crashing down.
If Flacco was playing quarterback for the Ravens yesterday. They win that game
No, not gonna bash Lamar though. We're back after this
And we're backs to guts I got to tell you something. I've been trying to workshop another catch phrase to come back from break because I don't want
to be a one trick pony.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
But so far I then get like cold feet and I just keep doing Ann We're Back.
You're stuck on Ann We're Back.
I was going to do Welcome Back.
I was going to be like, you know, I don't know.
So if you have any suggestions tweet at me at Billy Gill
And maybe you know hashtag goblets football
Maybe catchphrase something like that, but I'm trying to work on a welcome back catchphrase. It's not just and we're back
So I really don't don't do it
This is like going to see a classic rock band and concert and then want to play new stuff
But just play the hits Billy. I feel feel you. And we're back. But I also, yes, but hits is plural.
I'd like to get there.
You know what I mean?
Right now I'm a one hit wonder at best
with my coming back situation.
So I'd like to get like another one.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
I'd like to be, and I'm trying to think of an example
because there's not many of like the band or artists
that has the one hit, and then time goes by,
and then there's one more hit.
You're like, wow, this person is talented,
not just a total fraud, you know what I mean?
The Top Gun movie franchise.
I'll take that.
Not a bad example.
Speaking of Top Gun, we are next week going to be doing this show from Radio Row in Las
Vegas.
And two Super Bowls ago that we covered together, Stugatz, was the one down here in Miami because
there was the COVID year and then there was LA and they didn't send us to LA.
We did it remote, whatever.
It was a whole thing. Anyways, the point is, when we were at the one in Miami,
we had a sit-down interview, I guess it wasn't a sit-down,
it was just part of the car wash,
with Miles Teller of Top Gun, which you just mentioned.
And then they didn't release the movie
for another year and a half.
But he did come on to promote that,
and I'm using the Top Gun and the Miles Teller Just to say we will be at radio row and we will be having fun again a week from now
I was waiting for the loose connection of top speaking of top gun
How he nailed it tie it all together, but he did
That was masterful from Billy. Yes, I'm just called miles teller to get there
Also say this allows'll also say this
It's you guys made out really he may not want me to reveal this right, but since I want to say
July or August
Stugas has been promising that miles teller is gonna come on goblers football because he wants to do a show with
Goalik and he even at one point said buddy
He wants to do it every single week just just waiting on Golic. And we have not seen any sign of Miles Teller. I did my job. What was your
job? I did my job. What does that mean? I got the number for Miles Teller. Yes. I
sent it to Golic. Now I was sent the number. I have a cell phone number. Okay, I
got you. And so I was given the number. I thought Miles Teller was asking for money
to do something. Well, then I
know how this died. So listen, here's the backstory. We saw
we went out to Lake Tahoe last summer, we go there every
summer for the golf tournament. And Miles Teller was talking to
me, he had a dead in company shirt on, he was going to the
San Francisco concerts that I went to. And we were talking
about dead in company, the final tour will hang out final
show, which we did by the way. Okay, we had a great time. And
final tour, we'll hang out, final show, which we did by the way, okay?
We had a great time.
And then he saw Golic.
And all of a sudden I disappeared.
Because he beeline straight from Mike Golic.
Because he loves the Eagles
and he loves Notre Dame football
and he wanted to talk to Mike Golic.
And he talked to Mike Golic.
You'd think if you love the Eagles.
I mean, if you love Mike Golic.
So let me explain. So I did my job. Now, I didn't ask Miles Teller for the number there in Lake Tahoe.
I went through back channels to get Miles Teller's number.
How'd you do it?
I'm not telling.
Tell me off here.
I'm not telling. I'll tell you off here.
Okay.
And so I got the number and his number was sent to me with very strict instructions.
Yes.
Those instructions were, Mike Golic sent to me with very strict instructions. Yes. Those instructions were,
Mike Golic has to reach out to Miles himself.
So I gave Golic the number
and Golic told me that he did reach out
but the actor strike was going on,
he couldn't really come on, didn't wanna talk, whatever.
And then I kept pressing Golic,
hey, follow up, follow up, follow up.
And Mike never followed up. Well, that's the thing. I think we need to ask Golic. Okay. Follow up. Follow up. Follow up. Yeah, and Mike never followed up
Well, that's the thing. We need to ask goal. Look about this. You should Mike doesn't like bothering people and asking people for things
I understand that but Mike also lives in a world where people just will like want to do things for him
You know, so he doesn't really have like we ask for things out of necessity where Mike is just like I don't want inconvenience my friends
And his name has gravitas exactly right they come to him
Yes, I mean what are you most excited about for for Las Vegas next week because well listen
There's plenty to be excited about but my goal at going down one side of radio row
Promoting beef jerky and the other side promoting diabetes medication is always my favorite thing
diabetes medication is always my favorite thing. I mean, so this season.
It's fantastic.
It's amazing, so good.
This season, our radio row experience
is gonna be a little different
because we're not gonna have as much time
as we did last year on radio row.
Which is a blessing and a curse.
A curse because we're gonna be doing the live show
which is great at Circa if you want.
Go to, I don't know, whatever the website is
and go to watch us on the show.
Well done. At Circa. I'll put it on a I don't know, whatever the website is, and go to watch us on the show. Well done.
At Circa.
I'll put it on the lower.
Yeah, exactly.
Go right here, go to this website right here
and sign up and register and all that stuff
so you can see us.
But when we're doing that, it's prime time at Radio Rose.
We're gonna miss out on some prime time guests,
potentially, but I've been talking to the guest bookers.
And we have two big fish that I think we're going to reel in.
On the hook?
Two big fish that I believe are on the hook
that I think we're gonna get
and I'm not gonna tell you who they are.
And also, and this is just like a very behind the scenes thing.
Is Miles Teller one of them?
No, and I was gonna tell Stugasso,
you should try to get Miles Teller,
but the problem is that Golic is gonna be there too.
And if he gets Golic to reach out to Miles Teller,
you know that it's not gonna be for the show. No.
It's gonna be Gojo and Golik.
Or Golik and Smeddy.
Exactly, so we have to play those cards right,
but this is my strategy this year.
I'm going to have less communication
with the rest of our team.
I will be communicating with you, Stugat,
with Mike Ye, with Mike Fuentes.
We are not going to be having our guests getting poached.
I'm telling you that right now,
because we have some big fish on the hooks,
and if I put their names on the calendar,
I know what's going to happen,
and they're gonna disappear from God bless football,
and I will not be allowing that.
I am putting in placeholders,
and not revealing any information to anyone
on who those names are,
because I will not have Jamar Chase
be stolen from us again.
Whoops. Did I say that out loud?
I want to hear what you should do.
I want to say when to be a team player, but I'm proud of you.
I am. I am.
Here's the thing. I also know. I also know what happens is it we can play ball with the
guest of sandwich game. You know what I mean? Yes.
But if that goes to the main show,
then that doesn't go well.
Right.
And it becomes, your coach tried to murder you
and then we lose the guest.
We, you taught Cam Newton how to play that game.
You taught him.
Yeah, I put up a picture of my daddy daughter dances.
We got so many people tagged to Cam Newton in it.
So many people tagged him in it.
He didn't respond with so many people tagged him in it.
We missed an opportunity there
as you were explaining to him the promotional sandwich that
happens at Superbola called a camp sandwich. Yeah. I know.
He's not gonna remember. If we go up to him, he's not gonna
remember us. No. Not a chance. But we will go up to him
regardless. He won't remember us. Some big fish, huh? Big fish
are on the hook. I love this. Just gotta reel him in. Sometimes
the fish get away at the last moment. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Well,, you know.
Captain Lebat-
That's what happens when you fish.
Captain Lebatard swoops in and you know.
Ooh.
Billy, here's how you feel.
You know who wouldn't let the fish get away?
Captain Lee.
Oh boy, I can't wait.
Bubba Watts are gonna be on set with us in Vegas.
Don't say that out loud.
I'm sorry.
Anyways, Mike.
They don't want him.
We have 10 seconds, Mikey.
No, it's all right, guys. No, it's alright guys.
What?
It's a longer thing.
It's a longer thing.
God bless football, everyone.