The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Mystery Crate: Episode Two Hundred - Thirty-Eight
Episode Date: August 4, 2023On this week's Mystery Crate, the Shipping Container discusses Chris Cote's emerging bowling team, how there are too many opinions on 'Barbie,' and comedian Brad Williams stop by to discuss how he is ...treated by society as a little person. All that, plus the crew watches Billy's dream of a MAS Miami inside of an abandoned K-Mart die. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
What do we have today? Mystery crate has begun.
Welcome to Mystery crate.
Hey.
Billy's back.
Oh, we started.
Billy.
Hey, we missed you.
Mystery crate.
Are we rolling?
Yeah, yeah, we're wrong.
I got the look from Fuentes when I started the Tony take up.
Yeah, I kind of screwed Jason on the start time.
I like to have the clock, but they kind of, no, they kind of threw it in there.
No, we're here.
I really want to have talk, I was talking about Tony's snot in the beginning of that.
Can we just start with Billy's juicy snort?
Yeah.
It was very wet.
Really?
Yeah.
It was, but not really.
It sounded it, but I didn't feel that inside.
I could hear it go from your upper sinus to your lower sinus
into your esophagus and down your throat.
I didn't feel it, though.
Like, I didn't, it felt like It felt like it was a dry snort.
A lot of things.
Do you have that in your arsenal?
I don't do it.
Honestly, no.
I don't do it.
Try to bust it out right now.
I can't inhale that deeply.
Also, I feel like I met Stubats as Mike right now.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to get close.
Don't get too close.
I've tracked COVID again.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm so excited I sit here. Don't get too close. We've tracked COVID again. Yeah. Yeah.
So we're all sweaty, I sit here.
How do you feel sitting there now?
Like, do you smell cigarette?
Like, I feel like he was just in here
before we reported this.
So like the room has that smell right now.
It's wafting like in waves through the air.
Like you'll get a whiff of it and you kind of goes away.
And then you kind of, you smell it out of nowhere
for another second.
And then it kind of floats away.
I have a, I have something I need to get to second. Then I kind of floats away. Hmm. Hmm.
I have a, I have something I need to get to today.
We don't need to get to it first, but it's just something I'm dealing with.
I've been put in charge of a bowling team.
Who put you in charge?
Well, it was like my father and law really wanted to play.
And I was like, just ignoring it, not doing anything about it.
And then he kept texting me about it.
So I'm like, I guess if guess if I don't put this team together
Can I ask you a question? Go ahead. What happened to highlight?
It's still here. We have a draft on August 8th
We haven't talked about it in like a year. We just actually was a bad season
We finished last place. So we have the first pick. Oh, that's good
And the way it works is you get to keep up to two people big news right here
You get to keep two people from your team. And wherever slot they were picked at,
you don't get that draft pick.
You don't, so menus are number one guy.
Like the players are in tears.
And menus are tier one guy.
But big news this year.
So we've, we've, well, it doesn't mean we won't end up
with them. We've not kept menu.
We've only kept one player.
I'm confused.
You have the number one pick.
But if you wanted to pick the person you drafted first last
you then you don't have a first on pick. If we kept menus and these are top. It's a little bit like a keeper league title. Yeah. Like if, but if you wanted to pick the person you drafted first last year, then you don't have a first-run pick.
If we kept my news, it's a little bit like a keeper league title.
Yeah, like if you keep your top pick, you don't get a first pick in that year's draft.
Oh, I have a question for you.
So we're getting, we're not panthers, don't get a first-run pick next year since they took a first-run pick this year.
We're not keeping my news.
We're not protecting them.
We want to have, don't tell people your strategy
I'm sorry. I already out there. Yeah, they're to draft first. So yeah, but they're not keeping menus
So they're not gonna take them already on the clock the kicker is but they're not gonna take my new first and then they want to try to steal
My new is that he's going to be available to us so we might end up
But I just wanted to keep our off if he goes around we could get him again
That's what you're trying to do snake draft
That's if he goes around we could get him a guy. That's what you're trying to do snake dropped
It's right there. They didn't keep their tier one person to try to get a tier one pick right and have no one else take Maneu and then take him we want to keep our options dangerous game
I like the Steelers getting Joey Porter Jr. in the second round almost exactly like we're rebuilding
That's just a little bit of a rebuilding. Long answer short. We're rebuilding. Can I ask you a question about this?
And I'm asking Mike Fuentes to you need
a podcast called can I ask a question? Why? 20 or things you say it a lot. I'm just curious. What do you
mean? Yeah, that's the other podcast. So you were involved somewhat in the. He's the head of
scouting. He's the head of scouting. Yeah, I have like three different titles. It depends on what comes
to his brain first when he's toxic. I actually went to a assessor cyclones game last year
And none of you were there. Yeah, because it was towards the end of the season. We got in trouble for that by the way
Really we got some email sent out. I don't know. Maybe I'm revealing too much here of hey guys
It's it's it's not a great look when the owner's box is completely empty
It was it was that what so when I was there
No, so we could have thrown Billy in if you would have told us out of it. Billy, Billy, walk up in there.
Well, no, so I went because one of my friends
is like, I really want to go to a highlight game,
which is like,
did you tell me no in order?
I didn't know that you guys,
your team was playing.
I just knew that it was a Friday night thing,
but it's not every Friday.
So then when I got there,
and also you guys didn't talk about it at all,
because you're so bad.
Yeah, so when I got there,
the cones were playing and I was like,
oh man, I'm gonna run into like a bunch of work people today now.
Let me prepare myself for this mentally.
And then no one was there.
It was like, it was late in the season.
Like we're a fair weather ownership.
Yeah, I think there was like a bunch of stuff going on that week.
Well, so how, how does a thing, how does a player become eligible for the draft?
You have to be put in like the, in like someone I guess the commissioners have to
super license. They're a team owner. Yeah, you know, I don't know how these players. I
know that at some point I get a list of players and there's new players coming in. But
that's what I'm asking you. Yeah, somehow do you how do you get in that pool of players?
Like if I want it, if my friend wanted to be a highlight player, like you have to either
come from Dania or come from another highlight league. Say it again.
Come from Dania.
There are.
But how would you get into the league originally?
You got to say you want to start in this league.
How do you get in this league?
Well, my amic highlight.
How do you become a professional pickleballer?
Highlights been a thing in Miami for years.
So how do you get into it?
Because your whole thing is I was like, well,
how do you get in?
You just have to be in and it's like, well, how?
There has to be like a way to play.
And you work yourself up in the drinks.
I'm not a grassroots guy.
Okay, I'm a draft knight.
Can you draft my friend?
If you want to play, sure.
Do you ask Jerry Jones, like how people pick up football?
No, I'm world, but it's an understood process.
Like how you would
I would imagine it's a similar process to you play it.
You get good at it.
And someone's like, hey, you should you want to come
Beyond this team replaces in the world to play it that your point is taking there's not a lot
There's no youth highlight leagues around town that they could join there has to be at least a couple
There's more likely of it now because of this exposure. We're giving
We Chris can you tell us about the bowling team now? I mean, it's not that exciting. This is way more interesting
I think it's just my father-in-law kind of wanted to be in a bowl
Ray Romano's cousin. Yeah, and and so I was like, all right. Yeah, I did bowling before he's like, let's do it
And next thing I know I'm in charge and I'm trying to fill a team now
So I've just like been where is it people that I think maybe good bowlers started in text any of you type of a good bowlers
Where is it? Are you I was looking for a ranger on back-to-back champ. I got a ringer, but it's if you're probably playing far right Yeah, it's in Davie. Yeah, my brother-in-law is a really good baller. What night? Oh Wednesday is starting in late August
I'm gonna call I hate doing things. What do you what do you bowl? What's your like what do I do? Yeah?
I'm like a if I'm if I'm informed I'm like 170 180, but if I haven't bold in a while
I'm like 130 140 I, but if I haven't bolded a while, I'm like 13140.
I so the other day we went, uh,
no, no,
bopper's time.
We went, why not?
Cause it's a league.
That's
I'm probably he's actually texting his whoever he said.
My brother in law.
What is he bold?
300.
He sent me a couple of videos.
I'm getting 300.
My dad's a really,
I mean, there's no handouts here.
He's gonna have to try out.
I'm gonna have to see some tape. Do you have any tape of them? I'm just doing something. I hope he's just offering spots up to my team. I mean
Come to baby
Leeman
No, I heard that man. I got excited. I'm leaving. Have you guys all seen Barbie? I know you have yeah
No, nobody else. I want to see it. I'm it's on my list. I'm getting to it. It was very good
It was good. I feel like I'm I've read. It's on my list. I'm getting to it. It was very good. It was good
I feel like I'm I've read too many people's opinions about Barbie and Oppenheimer
It is one of the failures of the internet. You watched Oppenheimer too. I haven't seen Oppenheimer yet
I'm seeing it this week. I'm very excited about it. It seems like not a movie. I'd be excited about it
I love it's for Nolan move. It's a fast three hours. It seems great. I saw them both on the same day. The whole thing is like a topic bomb, right?
No, it gets into him a lot. I heard the first two acts are the third acts a little. I don't know. I like the whole thing
Everybody's like a movie podcast. So I talk. I yeah, that's yeah, that was pretty apparent
The first two acts. How many of the movies that you're a beauty watch? A couple.
We're doing Hangover.
Have you seen that one?
I love Jerem McGuire.
I love Jerem McGuire.
Really?
No, they're named to this whole thing where they were announcing new uniforms last Monday.
And they did like Jerem McGuire themed reveal.
They did the hangover last year, right?
With the Rolex.
Yes, they did.
Yeah.
And I've seen the hangover.
And I'm sure most players on the team have seen the hangover.
But are we to assume that 20 year olds have, because Sam Hartman, the quarterback, was
making Jerry McGuire references on Twitter.
What's Cena, they recreating?
He's a little older.
I should, I should make, make us an old joke on everyone else's behalf.
He's like 23, but I don't, I don't know, because I've never seen it.
And I feel like it's a little old of a reference.
I just don't like, I've seen the movie.
So I'm playing to like, is it showing me the money?
Like I'm trying to think of like, what's the iconic scene?
I truly don't know what you wouldn't because I've never seen it.
So you're just through your prism, you're like,
this doesn't make me.
I'm just like, these uniforms are awesome.
And that's basically been a reaction.
They're actually very cool.
I like, they did all green, green pants,
green jerseys, gold, outline lettering, gold helmet.
I like them. They're cool.
I want to see it.
I want to get out to the film.
I want to get out to the movies.
I like getting out to the movies.
I just like the whole process.
You know what I don't like?
I don't like this nowadays, the pick your seat thing.
Really?
I'm surprised we ever lived in a time
that they didn't have pick your seat.
I kind of don't mind it because when Barbie,
especially it was so hard to get a ticket last week,
everything was sold out.
And it's good to know.
It's nice knowing where your seat is.
If I were to go to the theater and be like,
kind of two tickets and one was in the front row
and one was in the back row and I walked in the theater
and we had to split up, that would have sucked.
No, and then you're running a little lay,
there's traffic.
You said to get to the theater like 15 minutes early.
That's 15.
Yeah, I probably got to like an hour. For Barbie, like 10 days early. No, You said to get to the theater like 15 minutes early. That's 15. Yeah, I probably got to like an hour.
For Barbie like days early. No, like you had to sit in the theater like 15 minutes or like get out of the
arcade all this. I used to show up to movies like 40 minutes early if it was really popular to make
sure I got a good seat because otherwise you know you'd have you'd be in the all the way to left,
all the way to the right up in the front. Where do you like? What's wrong with the left or the right?
No, I don't mind left. Right. Get centered, especially on the end.
I was middle centered with-
I was middle centered with-
What's everybody's movie see?
Give me middle height, but give me, I'll take a road.
I'll take the-
Middle up.
Yeah, center.
Give me the eye.
Like last row, last couple rows, you like the top?
No, not the top.
I'm mid center for a movie I really want to see.
If I'm like, you know, whatever I just go take a look at it,
I'll be off to the left or right just because I don't want to climb over people if I have to pee.
That's like, I think I would never be seriously.
I'm pretty seriously.
Yeah, it's what what number you buy this year.
I really enjoy the whole for my watch list and annual thread.
Yeah, I got my like 52.
Wow.
But
You should produce it slow.
You should produce cinephile.
Yeah.
I got a lot of my audio audio.
Audio editing.
It's neither as Chris.
Yeah. That's like that. I said every lot of money. I got a lot of money. I got a lot of money. I got a lot of money. It's neither as Chris. Yeah.
That's not what I said.
I mean, that's what I said last week.
It was one of the funniest off my Chris revelations.
He's like, yeah, pretty bad at this.
Well, because someone was complimenting Roy's audio.
Like, I think Dan and Dan, he was like,
Roy's such a good audio tech.
And I'm like, I am not.
Neither am I.
But at least the real ass is.
Hadn't Dan's audio is, we just got to figure it out.
Like, 48 episodes in to my rain. But what least I realized it. Hadn't the ads audios, we just got to figure it out. Like 48 episodes in to my rain.
But what it sound like before.
If you want to choose, you just don't know what you're doing.
He's been doing like, the Zoom audio
and he does his own recording.
Zoom is tough.
It's just too much tough.
It's got, we've gotten better now.
We're good.
We're good now.
Sorry for revealing that.
Yeah, I'm kidding.
Yeah.
That's right.
I like a man who can recognize his shortcomings.
Thank you. Also a woman. Yeah. And a though. Yeah, that's right. I like a man who can recognize his shortcomings, you know, you get also a woman
Yeah, and a woman. Yeah, yeah, people really anyway. I think when people are self-deprecating
That's it. They're so that's it's self-deprecating
It's like you just no you're not good. Yeah, like self-awareness. There you go
I liked Barbie though. I wish I knew less of what other people thought about it.
Yeah, there's too many opinions.
Too many opinions.
And I think a lot of the opinions have been
along the lines of like, it wasn't that good.
It's like no one said, like it's just a movie.
It's not the greatest of all time.
I'm just enjoying it.
It's fun.
It's like, what I've heard it's that it's different.
Like it's how long it's taking a chance.
It is different.
It's less than two hours, which is the best part.
Oh, wow.
That's rare. Because Oppenheimer, I'm going to have to buckle in for that. It's less than two hours, which is the best part. Oh, wow.
That's rare.
Because Oppenheimer, I'm gonna have to buckle in for that.
Well, you're not, you're not gonna feel it.
Trust me.
You're not gonna feel it.
I hope you like politics and like, world war two,
Cold War era type stuff.
Oh, I mean, yeah.
Yeah, it's good though.
I really enjoyed it.
I've never heard that I would, I will enjoy it
because there's a lot of nerdy history stuff.
There is, and but they kind of over blew the whole like graphic atomic bomb thing
Wasn't they didn't really even show it that much I felt hmm. Not enough bomb for you interesting take we'll be right back
Mike Fuentes you were not you were doing other tasks last week
So you weren't able to do what you're doing right now for mystery crate and you were unhappy
It seems like we hit some topics last week that you really wanted to be a part of I wasn't unhappy
I was just we were pressed for time. No, everything was like, Chris
wasn't going to be here Thursday. Tony was leaving. Billy was still out. I don't think
you were here on Thursday. I don't remember correctly irrelevant. So it was just, if you
don't do it right now, we're not going to have anything for Thursday. So we had to do it
in the other studio. It ran up against the show, but I was listening to Miami. It was the
real reason why I feel like the elephant in the room here is because
Miami was using this studio and we didn't want to wait
till like 7 p.m. to record.
So I mean, is that a bad question?
Well, I mean, yeah, Roy, yeah, Roy acts like he has no control
over it's like it's in the schedule.
It's like, Roy, you put it in the schedule.
Yeah, that's true.
I did, I saw it on the, the DK network that you guys
use out of a studio over there.
Yeah.
Yeah. It looks a little cramped because there's like three of you. And I don't know how the video, the audio, it was fun to do audio wise.
I don't know how it looked.
It looked unnecessarily cramped because a mean decided to sit in a stool.
It wasn't a normal chair.
He was hovering over us.
He was like, a mean.
I love, he makes strange choices.
And then I tried to give him a different chair at the end.
He's like, I've been here the whole time.
But I honestly think, I mean, and you can nominate someone else.
I think there's no one better at our company
than go talking to a mic and just say, you know what I mean?
You could put him in any topic, any, I feel like he's the best
at just being a chameleon.
Like whatever the topic is, serious, funny, wacky, movie, sports,
he can at least say he has a take on everything.
There's plenty of things. He doesn't run out of things to say.
Right. I do get that vibe from him.
No, it's a compliment from my guy. I'm saying it as a compliment. He's always ready to go.
He's always ready to go.
We need content. Go in there with that person and talk. Got you. Whatever you need.
So who was it? It was you. Tony and I mean, uh, yeah, they talked about European vacations.
It was fun. Actually, I talked. Yeah, they talked about European vacations. It was fun actually.
They talked about their hobbies.
Talked about salsa.
What did you want to talk about in that group
that Europe set about?
Well, first of all,
all their hobbies that they listed
are like literally all my hobbies.
Well, sneakers movies.
Get your friends.
Sneakers as a hobby.
That's what I was the one saying that this is a hobby.
Like we were having to debate.
It's not a hobby.
That's the thing.
People keep it as a hobby
because like the collector aspect of it,
to me it's just like. Collecting Tony said the gym. Yeah. Tony said going to the gym was a hobby. People keep it as a hobby, because like the collector aspect of it, to me, is just like
collecting Tony said the gym.
Tony said going to the gym was a hobby.
I have something that I've seen lately, and I don't know why I've been targeted in this
fad enough with the collectible cards.
Like, at any moment, but it's too much, because everyone thinks that they can start their own like Instagram or TikTok and just like
I'm gonna rip the box or whatever it's called and they like have the knife
They're opening so why I don't know and then they like buy like this box
I'll be $15,000 and then it's like oh, it's a Kenny picket card
I remember don't you just flush that money down, but everybody can off. But everybody thinks that like their channel or whatever is like
going only one doing it.
Yeah, take off.
And it's just a different size of tick to it.
It seems like a very like copycat.
It's a very saturated market.
But also it seems like at this point because it's a fat I feel like a lot of these cards
are just made up like these companies are just like making things up
and then they're just putting one on one on these things.
People have collectibles.
I know, but like, guys, listen.
I'm a sucker for it though.
I watch Bill Simmons and his son
will open so many packs of his bubbles.
Back to ball cards, they're in the pandemic.
But this is the, whatever it was top shot or whatever,
it's like, you're gonna buy these cards
that you're like, this card is worth $30,000.
It's like, yeah, but find someone to pay you
I miss that whole era
Oh, we top it really yeah, I'm sure that but NFTs are a thing. I'm sure you miss finding out about Mike's top shot
I remember like absorbing it from a far and being like I'll never need to know about this
And then I started working here like a year ago.
And I was like, oh no.
No, I have to do it.
Anyway, so your hobbies are sneakers.
No, that was just stuff that I'm interested in.
And then another one was Chris that he wanted to learn a hobby.
And then he talked about later in the show being a pick pocket.
So Chris, you just learned to be a pick pocket.
No, I was saying.
I was saying.
I was saying, is that a skill?
Because like 100% of the skill.
Pick pocketers are so good. Yeah, that's a skill. But like, I want saying is that a skill? Because like 100% of the skill.
The pickpocketers are so good.
Yeah, that's a skill.
But like, I want to know, where's the bad pickpocketer?
Like, I feel like there's an S in S in S.
He's a jail.
Exactly.
There's a skit there or a movie about the bad pickpocketer.
I always think about like, pickpockers and like hackers, right?
Like, the hackers have always worked for the government got caught.
So this guy's obviously not the best hacker.
So why I like, they're taking his advice.
Yeah.
He's a hack hacker. There you go.
I never thought about it.
But if you, so if you learn how to become a picker.
You're a watch guy too.
Not really.
It's a hobby.
Yeah, not really.
I would say like I like nice looking watches,
but if they're over 300 bucks, I'm like, oh, okay.
There's a difference between some, like if I'm into
collecting something that doesn't,
or maybe that does make it a hobby.
I don't think it does.
Collecting things is a hobby to an extent.
So collecting watches, hobby? Yeah, I think if you collect any hobbies,
part of the hobby. Collect collecting is a hobby. Yeah. So you should learn to be a pickpocket.
Otherwise, if you've seen that we talked about this too, the TikTok, the
attention. She referenced it. I made a joke about that on air also a month ago that no one got
and now it's in the that on tick talk in Italy because
Pickpocketing is a big problem in Italy and there's this lady that has and after damage all this to make
She has this lady's gone. She's gotten a New York Times. She's did an article on her
Yeah, she's gone viral on tick talk by blowing up the spot of
She just like she knows who they are or what they look like and then she'll just be like
Attention attention and then you see these people who are just like looking around and
then all of a sudden they're trying to cover their face.
So they're not great liars.
Do you feel bad?
No, because I picture Lucia and the other girl from White Lotus.
I can't remember Mia.
I think the two.
Did you guys watch the news in White Lotus?
I'm like picturing them as a big pickpocker.
My character.
Oh, she's back.
Oh, okay. And I'm like, oh, let them get away with it.
And also pickpacking's bad.
Don't steal.
But how great would it be, Chris, if like you're like,
you guys want to see a skill and then all of a sudden,
hey, have your wallet.
Boomer, you go back to a guy.
That's what I mean.
Like, that would be just a fun like party trick.
Hey, where's your phone?
It's right here.
Yeah.
There's definitely a new network sitcom like where that's happened.
Like, that's like something that would happen on like the mentalist. Yeah. There's definitely a network sitcom like where that's happened. Like
that's like something that would happen on like the mentalist. Like, or like site.
You should have a pickpocketing podcast. I miss it. Call that a pocket. Call it Tensio.
The pickpocket powder. Tensio. It's a pickpockety.
Someone should get the lady that is famous now for that and start a podcast with her.
Now they're like breaking the fourth wall and you see videos of people taking pictures
of her videos of her, videoing people pickpockets. She got her face crazy
The New York Times article. I saw her picture like now she's like she's out there. Yeah, I like the
I like the idea of Chris hosting a podcast for someone who only speaks Italian
You speak English and just trying to communicate with each other. No, you idiot.
Talking to this. I love that idea. Has anyone been watching the Sex in the City reboot?
No, everybody. I need my grind. It's all season one. And I liked it. You know, there
was a big shocking. I really loved it. Spoiler. It was not a good. I mean, that was shocking.
Well, when when big, this is a big died. died. Yeah, I'd like tanked Peloton stock.
I remember that.
Oh, yeah, because he died out right at the Peloton
and then it was this huge deal.
And then I also remember Peloton's weird commercial
with the lady because her boyfriend gives it to her.
I love Peloton.
I know.
I'm just, I remember the commercial was weird
and it was like a controversy,
even though Billy's attached and therefore,
that really loosely.
No more. What was it called? Guillermo Ton. Yeah, I need to get back on the bike as they say no, okay
I wish let's just put that
Ethics I wish I don't think I've ever had anything that I would put like hashtag add on
You know what I mean? I got social media where you have to put like I don't think that I think that I've had to do it for
I think you've had you have to do it when you have a brand new. Oh,
Otherwise, it's illegal. Yeah, really yeah
So speaking of Chris's hobbies I know Chris wants to get into a big meat is guy stand up comedy
Just really enjoyed that I think they're only coming after Kim Kardashian level influencers who are not.
Kicks saving a beat.
Can I ask you a question?
Yes, Billy.
He's gonna ask you.
He's gonna ask you about stand-up comedy that you want to do.
So Brad is in town.
I did one of my best weeks last week on. Yeah, it was good. We won again.
It came up. It was the Lufa. Lufa. That's actually, I see now I'm like,
knocking down. Oh, the Lufa thing was good. I'm not as
little behind the bed. The erotic with my Lufa. That was, I never do that on the show of like a bit,
but that's what I have been working on. So I'm not as neurotic in real life with my Lufa.
You don't like lie on the show about stuff?
I do.
Well, yes, I'm definitely, I exaggerate.
I go for jokes and stuff, but I wouldn't say I'm just lying.
So you got straight up lied to me earlier this week
when you was talking about, I make people use,
like if someone gets on the elevator,
now you know, he was such a lie.
I make them show either room-
Oh yeah, there's no way.
No, you don't.
So the guy says the king of the unnecessary. The guy goes, can you hit 11? Got you, yeah, there's no way. No, you don't.
The guy goes, can you hit 11?
Got you, bud.
It's his move.
I think it's pathological though.
Oh, no, I don't think that I don't think
that that's done for the sake of like, oh,
this is a character.
This is a bit.
I think he just can't control it.
I'm totally with you.
I would do.
He just just slow out.
He's just like, I can say something now that people will find interesting.
Whether it actually happened or not.
I think he, I think like when we're doing the show a lot of times you'll realize someone
needs to have a contrarian opinion.
Oh yeah.
That's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like,
that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's
like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like,
well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well,
that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like,
well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's
like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's
like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well,
that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's
like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, well, that's like, with just normal life. And it's amazing. Because I worked with this man for over two years and I know nothing about it.
So, like, no idea what he actually does and things.
So to get back to me doing stand up, I have done nothing.
I've been very bad about it.
I was going to ask you like when Brad is in talent bits.
I'm compiling bits.
Brad's texting me every other day.
Do you bother people?
No, Brad's bothering me to come open for it.
Like, he wants me to do a sale.
Oh, don't get it.
And I'm not ready for it. That told I know every time I went to this
comedy show my friend is now organizing the comedy nights and like a let's
like a theater course and it's only 40 people and I had never gone to one until
this past Saturday when I was sitting there it's not a it's not a place in
Miami Lakes like a theater there but there's only 35 40 people and I was
thinking man this is great for Chris because it doesn't have like that club
setting no that is you can't even see the crowd that would be a good setting for there, but there's only 3540 people and I was thinking man this is great for Chris because it doesn't have like that club setting.
No, that is.
You can't even see the crowd.
That would be a good setting for first time.
Yeah, so I couldn't go on Saturday.
I'm down to go.
I definitely want to go off from the table.
Yeah, he says whenever you're ready.
Wow, I'm ready.
I'm not ready.
You're not ready.
You're not ready.
But I need to just do it.
Yeah, I got to get over that.
You got to get over that first one.
Yeah, and then what do you want to get out of it?
I just, you know, I'm gonna be doing cook.
No, I just think that I think I have good comedic timings.
I'm just saying like you want like what do you want to play it
into something you just want to do it like one at a time.
It's just something that I think I think I could be alright at.
So I just kind of, it's just kind of something I want to try
and see maybe I'll get on stage and I'll be like,
oh, I love this feeling and then I just want to,
I don't know, it's just as I sit with this create,
we're trying to all think like,
what are we going to be doing in 10 years?
And how can we parlay this rocket ship into something?
What would you open with?
What, like a joke?
Yeah, I'm not right.
I mean, I'm not doing my set right now for you.
I put you in a bad spot.
But you need to, I feel like it was.
It wasn't me, it was Danny.
You can't just have us set, right?
Oh no, look. look no you can but like
Every time you're gonna go and just do the same joke
No, the way the way it works is the way it works for a rook you you come up with like however long 20 minutes half hour hour
And then you probably get like five minutes. I know at the start
I know you build up, but I'm saying you do material. This is not me. I'm saying regular comedians
No, I'm talking about you around they tore material and then they know I know I know stand up mediums work I'm saying like youians. No, I'm talking about you. They go around, they tour material, and then they, I know, I know,
for the stand-up.
I'm saying like, you,
like if you're starting out,
you're just gonna have five minutes of jokes
and every time you go,
because presumably you go to the same spot every time,
like if it's not gonna open.
There would be a 15-minute blocks.
A lot of time.
But you can't do the same ones that will be out.
You just did it.
Not gonna be the same audience every time.
Yeah, it's a once a month thing.
Yeah, a lot of comedians do repeat the same bits,
or they'll like add some junk of things. At least a good a month thing. Yeah, a lot of comedians do repeat the same bits or they'll like at least a
chunk of thing at least a good chunk of time you repeat it from
places and then if you go back to the same place maybe you're
refining it. Who would you steal from? I'll tell you after the
break.
Billy, I will tell you who I would steal commenting material from
later. Um, during the break, I spelled a bunch of shit on my
clothes. So I had to change. Yeah, who I would steal, commenting material from later. During the break, I spilled a bunch of shit on my clothes,
so I had to change completely.
And we're here now, and we have some updates.
In the previous segments, we talked about
the Atensioone Italian lady,
and apparently she's got some controversy.
So as a show, we do not stand in support of the Atensio.
We like that what she was doing
with the Atensioone and calling, you know, shining a light on these
pickpocketers, but we do not. We're just cute. Pickpocketing bad
her also bad. Okay, but we'll keep a rolling. That's our stance.
There you go. We're anti-pickpocketing, though. And anti.
I thought it's keep going. Yeah, Royce here. I don't know what's going on.
How's it going? Hey, I don't Lucy Brad Williams in the building.
Yeah, they won't let me leave.
I tried.
They told me not to.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
They said get back in there.
That's the, those are the exact words.
Not even like a request.
No, just get back in there.
Just creep on it.
Just stuck his head in the window there and look in here and then he looked away.
And I can't decide whether he really wants airtime or doesn't want it.
Like he says he doesn't, but he always pokes his head around.
Yeah.
We got to do a Cougs deep dive on Cougs.
He's not going to do it.
He had a Cougs South Beach sessions.
He's not that you do one before me.
You could also do mystery crate sessions.
That was a good way to do that with Lucy.
Me.
Hi, nice to meet you, by the way.
Hi, Lily.
How's it going?
It's going.
It's crazy that I actually met Lucy before Billy did it.
Well, Billy's been on paternity.
Yeah, it was a way.
Yeah, that was a excuse.
I didn't meet two gods for like two weeks in the working here.
Yeah, I feel like you've yet to really meet Dan either.
No, I barely, me and Dan have talked like maybe three times.
Yeah, I've been here for a year and a half.
I think I've talked to Dan three times too.
Yeah, so I wrote that.
Yeah, it's over.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. I do like my amy right there. It's over here. Yeah.
Okay.
I do like my Emmy so far.
I know.
She doesn't like it.
She doesn't like it.
Oh, she hates it.
Where are you from?
Somebody with a dog like pooped in a...
What was it called?
Marshall.
It's like the front of me.
The person pooped in the dog pooped.
That would have been so good.
Yeah.
I know it was worse.
What if it even bear the dog cleaned it up?
That would have been impressive.
Yeah.
She's from North Carolina went to school in Iowa.
We've covered this before. Yeah, no, I know. Oh North Carolina went to school in Iowa, we've covered this before.
Yeah, no, I know.
North Carolina, you've seen people poop in department stores before.
Well, that's my neighbor's story.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's a new world.
So we were talking before about like a softball game that's getting played sometime this week,
but I will not specify because theater of the mind show, TV, et cetera.
Billy was saying how when he first played in in that game seven or eight years ago,
he belted a home run.
Yeah, we played like seven or eight years ago.
It was the first annual and then it ceased to exist
until this year, like eight years later.
And I hit a home run to center field.
It was like halfway into the outfield,
but it was over like the stupid wall.
Right, they had it.
They probably had a fence that was like 200 yards,
but in Billy's defense, 200 yards would be 600 feet if I was a 600 feet. Well, no, my bad, 200 feet. But he did clear that all. I was like 200 yards, but in Billy's defense 200 yards be 600 feet if I
Well, no my bad 200 feet, but he did clear that it was a shot to center field
I remember Charlie old money Charlie had a home run also his didn't clear the walls much as years well
So I so after the game I told I remember who was I was talking to and I was like man
I'm gonna like work out and next year I'm gonna come back and like I'm gonna try to like pull one down the line and
Pulling over the actual wall because I feel like I't it's a metal bat whatever and then it hasn't
happened in eight years and tomorrow it's happening again and I just don't want to get hurt like
that's my only goal is to pull in something else or having a heart attack from trying too hard
because I'm at the age where I feel like I could have an early heart attack. I went outside. I
went outside yesterday of my house and just did some like,
what's that like pregame like butt kicks some high knees?
Oh, I was just like, I wanted to get like,
calisthenics, like pre stretching, whatever it's called.
It's like the beginning of conditioning workouts.
And I was just like, I got it like,
I need to get these laid.
Like I just don't want them.
I don't want them to be like in shock.
The thing is like, get it, get out there.
We're too close to the game to even consider like steroids
because it won't take effect.
Right?
Like if I wanted to juice for this game, you should still do it.
On one day's notice, I don't think it's going to do anything, right?
Maybe.
I just don't want to like, the injuries happen, man.
We're at that age in the 30s, like all of a sudden,
we're just like, oh, let me go get this ball in the hole
and all of a sudden we're next broken.
I don't think I've played since then.
I don't think I've played and I've had like,
I've been invited, my cousins in a like Thursday,
soft fully and has asked me like a filling guy,
he always texted when he needs someone.
Yeah, but I always say no.
I always come up with some reason as to why I can't
and the real reason.
Sometimes there have been valid reasons,
but the majority of the time is the reason
is I just don't want to embarrass myself
while playing in that game.
Because then it's like a whole,
a lot goes into it, right?
It's not just like, hey, come out and go play in this game.
It's like, well, what shoes do I wear?
Do I wear sneakers?
Do I wear cleats?
They have a lot of rules.
You're not allowed to slide.
They don't want to,
us basically touching the field.
Well, but do I wear metal cleats
if I go to play in this Thursday game?
Do I wear the last thing? No, you're literally not allowed to wear field. Well, but do I wear metal cleats if I go to play in this Thursday game to wear the last?
You're literally not allowed to wear any.
No, I'm talking about the Thursday game that I always make excuses to get out of what
shoes do I wear.
Then I had, I don't have a bad, what glove do I use.
What's your dream celebrity game to play in?
Because every sport during all-star week and all the major sports.
Spaceball, the softball game. Yeah.
That's me. Have you, have you been in, I off air?
I was asking Brad earlier this week if he would ever do a celebrity version of reality shows.
Like if he's been invited, if he's ever gone down the path to be like invited to do it,
would he do it? Has he done any? Yeah, but I like to have you
been invited to all start game questions.
Yeah, because I've played in one.
Which one?
The All Star Weekend for basketball.
Really?
Which is funny, considering my height.
But it was some of the most shot.
It was some of the most fun ever.
What year?
This was when it was in Charlotte.
So I'm not maybe like 2019, 2018.
Who'd you play with? I was on my team. Who was when it was in Charlotte. So I'm not maybe like 2019, 2018. Who'd you play
with? Who was on my team? Well, that's the story I told on, I think basketball, Olu
Monardi, is that Hassan Monage blew the game for us. Oh, because we were, we needed a
three. And Ray Allen was on our team.
Ray Allen was in the corner, wide open,
and Hassan Manage took the three.
She was.
Look at me, Louis.
How does that work?
Like, do you get approached for that,
or like does your agent reach out and say Brad would like to do that?
Because like sometimes they try to find like a connection
to the city.
Do you have a connection to Charlotte?
I don't.
So the only, how I got booked on that honest to God was I went to summer league
in Vegas. And I would, people don't realize when you go to summer league, maybe it's a little
more security now, but there's like no security in summer league. You can just walk into
everywhere and you can just be hanging out. I, I was standing having a conversation with a friend
and then I turned around and Steve Balmer was talking
to Jerry West and I'm like, I shouldn't be here.
Like that's way beyond.
I mean, they're brand Williams,
is everyone get this access?
And you come on.
No, not like, I mean, yes, yes,
everyone does get this access.
So how it happened was I was talking with a guy
who knows Adam Silver, Adam Silver came up to say hi to him.
I ended up interjecting in the conversation.
Based upon that, he's like, you should play
in this celebrity game.
I'm like, yes, I should.
Wait, what?
I did not have Adam Silver.
Adam Silver's hand picking the party.
Adam Silver said Adam Silver.
Adam Silver's like, you know what?
Jay Balvin would be great.
Don't phase on.
Yeah, right here.
Yeah.
And then like an idiot when Adam Silver was like, usually in this celebrity game, I'm like,
can you do that?
And he's like, yeah.
I, it's a good question.
Yeah.
It's like, how do you tell him?
Probably has someone handling.
He like nights you.
He's, he's allowed to play.
And then his assistant, it was me and my buddy who's also a comedian, Adam Ray, he plays
a played Vince McMahon on young
rock. And yeah, we both got to play. And it was the swag is that's why you want to play
in these games. We've got so many pairs of shoes. Yeah. Some, some nice jerseys, got some
VR headsets. So did you like the next year, expect an invite again and then get like sad
when you didn't get it. Yes.
You got to expect that though because like you don't ever see the same like you
don't see. There's always kind of like a career for that of the same people over
Nelly can play in the NBA game as much as he wants. He's got like a he's got a
forever in. But it's okay. We're not Nelly. That's fine. I was into the game dude.
I was happy to do it once.
I took a charge from Steve Smith and that guy is hurt.
He's very large.
He's a large man with, I mean, not large terms of football, but terms of civilians.
So they were calling charges in this game?
No, they didn't call it.
Oh, you were just run over.
Yeah, I was run over. And then I like like I did a full back roll because I want to do
Exaggerated
And what it's worth your way funnier than Nelly
Way funnier. Yeah, I'm trying to visualize the the charge and doesn't look good Lucy would also
Oh, um bad bunny played in that game. That's what I'm saying. No one knew who bad bunny was at the time.
I mean, by no one, I mean, of course, white guys.
But like, like now it's insane to see who bad bunny is now.
I'm be like, oh, I played basketball that guy.
You could say that you had a partner.
Do you think that bad bunny would recognize you?
Ooh.
Like, no you.
Like, no.
You feel like all star game.
No.
No.
I, like, normally people, like people either remember meeting me from eight years ago or they
remember meeting some other dwarf they met one time eight years ago and they just think
that's me.
Do they ever hit you with I met Peter Dinklage once.
Yeah, that's an unnecessary fact.
That's nothing to do with me.
That happens all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're in fact or two different people.
Yeah.
You just so you know.
There's a lot of, oh, my cousins at Dwarf,
my teacher in high school was at Dwarf.
The worst one I ever got was, oh, you're a Dwarf.
My brother has mental disabilities.
Oh, god.
They, damn.
They didn't use the word mental disabilities.
Right.
They used to hide, I, but yeah.
Yeah, but they said, my brother's and I'm like, it's like,
oh, that's not the same.
Not similar.
Not the same.
Also not Peter Dinkley.
That all.
That's very awkward.
But no, so what games would you guys want to play in?
Put me in one of those influencer league games, because I think I could actually.
For what sport though?
For what sport?
I think they only do, I think track and feel yeah
I think I want to do like track and field. I think I'd want to do like softball or something
Yeah, like not I wait soft balls not a lot of like pressure on the knees like it's fine
If I get hit by somebody. Yeah, I'm gonna break something. I'm a very small person. Oh no. No tell me how small you are Sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I got this and then and then when the ref brought the ball down I just grabbed it and took off and I'm like all right the game started
All right, and there's no rules on this
I did and I completely bricked it finished with no points
But I did have an assist to Ray Allen and that's that's you actually made the right pass. Yeah
Ah yeah Hassan yeah throwing it out there
But yeah, that it was an amazing fun experience.
Billy, what sport would you want to play?
So I feel like like football, I feel like I could, well, actually, I'm thinking like,
you're good at prism.
I feel like you're sneaky athletic, Billy.
I mean, yeah, you were an athlete, but like, I feel like a lot of people don't think
you're athletic and then you would surprise a lot of people.
Do you want to flee Billy Go? Well, because I also still think that I'm like in my 20 people don't think you're athletic and then you would surprise a lot of people. Do you want athlete really go?
I, well, because I also still think that I'm like in my 20s
and that like I could still do the same things
that I could do then.
This goes back to the injury thing
where you just don't want to get hurt.
Well, no, like I haven't played flag football
probably in like years, right?
Like maybe like 10 years or something, right?
So the idea that I could just go out there
and still perform how I did then is insane.
So I used to do basketball twice a week and then the pandemic killed that.
Yeah.
Because like even though the guys I played with their typical Floridians, they didn't give
a shit about COVID or nothing like that.
But they, but they were, I just, it just wasn't the same.
And you couldn't find a place to play and it just was not, I cared about dying.
So I was like, guys, I'll just laid it out eight months past.
And then we just didn't do it anymore.
Right. So I was like, guys, I'll just wait it out. Hey, months passed. And then we just didn't do it anymore. Would you call the Tahoe Golf Tournament a celebrity event
because if we are, I think that's my number one.
Yeah, that would be sick.
Yeah, it would be amazing.
That's more something like you have to be good
to get into.
That's not just like, hey, we're gonna take any big name.
It doesn't matter how good you are at this at all.
That one you actually have to be good.
Well, because also when I watch the tournament,
I'm shocked to see like the patrons lining the side
of the holes like like their professionals.
Like what are you doing?
I got hit by Ray Romano.
Yeah, you got hit by your family member, which is great.
And when there are some bad guys like actually,
what am I saying?
There are a bunch of bad, like I just said,
you have to be good to play in that thing.
There are a bunch of bad.
If you're good enough celebrity, you can be bad at golf. But if you're going to be a crappy celebrity, you got to be good to play in that thing. There are a bunch of bad. If you're good enough celebrity, you can be bad at golf.
But if you're going to be a crappy celebrity,
you got to be good to go.
Who's the worst golfer that you saw at the tournament?
Not this year because you didn't go.
They said Jeremy.
Well, we're not talking about the actual tournament.
Like Jeremy Mike, it's a very special show for sure.
Did they play?
They played in like the pro-am the day before the tournament.
That's like, we don't get to play in the big tournament. It's the tournament before the tournament.
But Charles Barkley's bad. Um, Larry, Larry, the cable guy was bad. Goalick, not great.
Are you better than goalick? Which I think I am. I have seen your, I've only seen clips of
him playing. It didn't look like a seat. No, a senior's good, right? No. No. He's admittedly bad.
He was like, I heard him on podcasts. He's not as right? No. No. He's admittedly bad. He was like, I heard him on podcasts.
I think he has injuries or something.
Yeah, he's.
Football bad.
Golf's hard.
Yeah.
We'll be right back.
I have a hot take.
I've famously said that diarrhea is underrated.
Oh, okay.
Famously.
I'm underrated.
Well, look.
Because it flies out.
It's just like, it's never like, you know,
some good thing.
How should it be properly rated? Not fly, is it? I'm saying that I think it gets a bad rap. Like I don't mind a little diarrhea.
It doesn't have like different levels. Like there's like regular diarrhea. Let's not.
Let's blow. Over I was getting to the the the follow up my next hot take, which is in the
similar similar vein throwing up a little underrated. Depends on the circumstance.
So I can agree with you. You always feel great after.
No.
Unless you have food poisoning or something,
but if it feels horrible before and the worst during.
And during.
And then if it comes out of your nose,
your whole nasal cavity will be higher.
That's obviously like,
those, that's the one where it's just coming out of like every
ever pop blood vessels from throwing up so hard.
No, what I have had is like the next day
I'll have really sore like abs because I'm wretching so hard that I'm like,
I got my work at it.
Yeah, exactly.
Can I ask you something before we continue this?
Yeah, sure.
Real quick question.
So we're doing like all the technical questions or whatever
and you're talking like the camera people making sure all
the shots are set up and like he's about to go and he's
counting down and then you just randomly go, they're about
to open a target next to my house.
Which is like really weird.
Well, because so if you look at Brad William shot,
Jason to be hit, Brad William shot,
there's a lovely like tile looking cup
right over his right shoulder.
So I go, oh, Lucy's cups in the shot.
And she goes, I got it at target.
And then where I live in Miami,
which is right across the chief of Magic City, Casino,
more or less, they're opening a target there.
And I'm glad we're here.
To be honest, that part of town doesn't deserve a target.
So, I'm happy to say that.
What is that supposed to be?
Why?
Not sucks.
But not in that deserve a target.
It's terrible.
It's the worst.
But not across the street where the abandoned came or it is.
It is the came or it's.
They turn the abandoned came or into a target.
Gentrification, but that makes sense.
What?
Isn't that where we're going to have moss?
It's one of the possible locations for came or it's one of the, it's gone. It's gone. it's gone do it anymore. Yeah, I'm still doing a target. There's plenty of space there
I'm tired to escape target doesn't roll off the tongue. Mm-hmm. I wanted to rent out. Oh you probably know this
Yeah, I wanted to rent out a came art and host an event and abandoned
I think it'd be great no one has this vision the way I do I think it'd be fantastic
I think you should do a roller rink night at an abandoned Kmart.
Be awesome.
But the abandoned Kmarts are becoming an endangered species now
because they're getting turned into targets.
Gotta go to a blockbuster.
Anyway, vomiting.
I just think that both of those,
there's a blockbuster by my house
that got turned into vomiting.
A medical center for old people.
Because it's like really real.
Let's take a little logo on the phone.
The cell of the cardboard cutouts,
like maybe they have a patch atoms in there.
Yeah, I think DVDs in the back for $9.99.
I think throwing up is more underrated than diary.
I feel bad leading with diary there.
Like diary can just, it's just an easy poop.
Like there's no struggle.
It just flows like wine.
Yeah, I wouldn't take that.
Oh, that's good.
Wine made a fire.
I said that.
But also like, what kind of the kind of years? I mean, maybe I'm thinking, I've said you that. Oh, that's good. Okay, fine. I made a fire. I said that.
But also like, the turn up years.
I mean, maybe I'm thinking,
I've said you had, there's levels.
I'm thinking, isn't there,
there's like a middle ground of diarrhea
that's just liquid poop.
Like you guys just have,
like after a beer night,
like the beer, the beer, no, everyone's,
everyone's, all right.
So how do you all,
how are you with witnessing public vomiting,
funny or sad?
Oh, hilarious. hilarious. I saw one this weekend. I
was in Raleigh for a wedding and I didn't back shoes. My bad. So I had to pair with sneakers
and then was like, I don't think that's going to work. So I had to go get shoes. I was
sitting there and I was like, I'm hungry. Got a little chick flake and I saw this kid.
He spilled his drink and he was crying so hard at the spill draft. You're gonna be. Yeah, of course. He was like seven or eight.
He was a little too old to be crying.
Yeah.
So then he stands up.
He's crying so hard.
He does the toddler stance sort of where his legs
and arms get wide and just bends over
and just pukes the rest of the drink up
because he was so upset.
I bet he felt better.
My spilling is being came up.
He cried even harder after that
and I was like, there's nothing left.
And it was one of the funnier things I'd seen in the long time.
So Devama has to be one of the worst of the vamas.
So Vama you're cool with.
I saw you like the bubbles.
Was it?
My dad had like a little tiny cut earlier this week with like,
wasn't bleeding.
It just had a little red.
And she was like, I can't look.
I can't look all.
I do not do blood.
That's wild.
I if I like to see blood vomiting, you're totally cool.
Yeah. So like if I like. so if I like cut myself right now
I would have a little again. He cut himself in the studio. Somebody can you my dad has like those like old man arms where every time
He graces up against anything. The skin is getting a little I get mystery bruises
Do you guys have mystery bruises? You should check that out. She's famous. So really that could be like blood clots or something no
Yeah, yeah, it's really bad. You should check that out
I just I really random.
Start wearing compression stuff.
Well, I mean, I don't keep, I don't keep track of every time I bump into something.
I will bump into things.
I'm like, yeah, that's going to suck in two days.
And I know that's going to be like a bruise.
But like, sometimes I look around.
I'm like, I have a bruise.
I also have this weird lump inside my leg that I've told.
Should I also get that? No, my, no, like my pediatrician like looked at this years and years ago.
Your pediatrician? No, that's what I'm, no, you still no like my pediatrician like looked at this years ago your pediatrician
No, that's what I'm so go to your pediatrician. That's why I'm saying how long it's been is that I
Have you still set in the rocket ship and I wish I like that I said your daughter being done
And it's like all right my turn
Why am I gonna make another
Exactly
What do they do this flimsy little paper for?
Just like, I mean, speaking of flimsy play very lump,
so I had a lump removed from the side of my head.
I don't know if like Jason could zoom in on it.
Yeah, no, yeah.
That transition.
It's like, it was so what it was is, I thought it was like a cyst,
but it was a calcified hair follicle.
Oh, right here.
Lucy could probably see it.
No one really wants to see this.
Just like this.
We have like this.
And Rouse spot Be like this
Hair follicle my guys is sorry for everything. She's I have a bump
I have a bump in the back of my head that I've had my entire life and anytime I get a haircut
Well, they hit it like a speed bump. That's how I get a haircut
That's why I got rid of this because we're in here in touch. Okay. Show the camera the bump back of your head.
Oh, man. Yeah, this is you guys should really just have a doctor on the podcast to check out all your
ailments. I mean, just give them free publicity and he or she will probably do it.
What are you doing right now? Give me your finger.
And then he's filling up the bump. I feel I feel like this is an HR violation.
Like you didn't we have HR. You need HR.
You need HR.
Doing the show.
You guys are still recording.
I've got to check to having a conversation with each other.
This is very strange.
This is, they're comparing bumps.
Yeah, no, no.
Anyone else got any bumps?
You're bumping bumps.
But I've been deformed the air.
Oh, let's see.
Okay, what?
To go along with the tooth.
Yeah, I also have an extra piece of skin under my tongue too,
but we can get that next. One the time. I'm excited to go with extra tooth when we asked
you. You didn't go with the facts by your ear. Yeah, no, because I can't give you everything
it wants. Yeah, no burn. So we'll take a look at this year. Does everyone see it? Normally
here. Normally here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This ear never fully formed. Yeah, the appropriately.
Oh, so do you see how now go back to your
other
Yes, you don't have to think it never fully formed on this
That's not the big hole you'll be over here. And then I have an extra I didn't know this so you do MMA
I should I probably should I would like the wrestler like yeah
Colleys flowery here
I
Yeah, you're from Iowa. You're just like corn, everything. Corn here.
And then I have a piece, an extra piece of skin under my tongue that like connects, I don't
know what it is.
It's just to burn your tongue.
No, I, because I didn't know it.
And then one day it went to a different dentist and he was like, you know, that, you know
about this?
No.
And then he said, you can cut it off if you want, but I was like 17.
So I was like, I don't really think I need to.
So sometimes I like trip over my words and I blame it on that.
Yeah, oh, I had the bump on top of my head.
Let me see, come in.
Back to bumps.
No, no, and I was like, I don't want to take care of it.
And then I think it migrated
and that's how I got this one on the side.
It migrated.
It was.
It was a bird.
That's your nod size.
It are both the same.
It feels similar.
It's like yours is like the early version of mine.
Mine was really.
It was like, how did my entire life,
oh, then it's probably just like a small, I could be the same thing. I'm like, oh, next time I don't want to. The one I took out was the early version of mine. Mine was early. I had it my entire life. Oh, then it's probably just like a Small thing. I could be the same thing
I go next. I took out was like the size of my nail. It was pretty big and fat
Yeah, that's why I I'd grown my hair long as it was like a noticeable bump on the side of my head bread
Yeah, just the dwarfism. Oh, just that let me touch it
Yeah, saw doctor diagnosed right away.
Your pediatrician popped right out and they're like,
that's different.
Can I answer your question?
You have a great ask though.
Thank you.
What?
He does.
I do.
Spectacular.
I mean, due to a crooked spine, but yeah, it's pretty good.
Well, that seems like an extreme.
I was just giving him a compliment.
I look good in booty shorts.
Can I ask you a question? If you ask in booty shorts. Cassie has a question.
But you asked me that one more time.
You're trucking.
So this is a dad joke question and asses of the dads
in the room.
Sorry, I was just a good setup.
Obviously early in like a child's life,
you go to the doctor a lot, right?
Because like all the shots and the checkups and all that stuff.
But then we're also like in the like nursery rhyme,
sing along, cocoa melon, all of those of the world, right? So like my two-year-old has now been singing
songs and one of the songs is, sings is no more monkeys jumping on the bed. Oh, I love that song.
Right? Classic song, right? Well first it's like five monkeys. Yeah, yeah, you count down. It's like a counting song. Yeah.
So now, almost every time that I go to the doctor,
if like my parents or my wife, if I go by myself,
whatever like, ask me like, oh, would the doctors say?
And I do this a go.
No more monkeys jumping on the bed.
Every single time.
Every single time.
They've gotten so sick of that joke.
Good dad joke.
Yeah, I guess. Solid dad joke. That's good. No more monkeys. every single time they've got it so sick that good good that joke yeah solid that joke
That's good no more monkey
Don't spend on the bed every single time. Yeah, let's get song. All right
So so you have shows now that you're like you don't want like
If you went the rest of your life and you never heard a theme song or
Saw the show again like what shows are you you tired of that your kids are watching?
We've been...
Paw Patrol.
Paw Patrol?
We haven't done that many shows.
Like you guys would have a better answer.
Bluey, I love Bluey.
Give me Bluey all day.
Bluey all day.
Delightful.
Yeah, Paw Patrol is the worst.
Coco Mellon can just not exist forever.
Yeah, we stopped showing.
Yeah, what Disney movie is like...
Right now my daughter is big into...
I have a friend who he knows every
I saw tangles English in Spanish. He knows both. I saw tangles recently. It was a good
I like a song about dreams. I was like
Nice little song here. Yeah, yeah, what's the one from a couple years ago?
That's like wherever you motion. There's like anger
That's a new one that I've seen
Promotions Roy what do you got coming up? We got Montgomery company and we have because Miami
Don't know what's going on the hangover on Cine file Brad Williams. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, yeah
It's at the movie that you've been like most
Qualified because I've actually seen it no
I've actually seen it. No, I just know that I will have joy.
Yeah, that's why we do it.
We do like a new one and then we try to get something that like is in my wheelhouse or just more commonly seen because
Adnan's getting in there and the nuts and bolts with these new
Ready?
Five seconds.
Five seconds to promote your stuff.
BradleyMesscomedy.com, tour 24 over 60 dates.
Okay, goodbye.
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