The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Post-Postgame Show: Not The Hockey Show with Pablo Torre
Episode Date: January 5, 2024Here's a piece of a Share & Tell from Pablo Torre Finds Out with Dan, Mina Kimes, Pablo, and Chris Cote with a HEATED debate on Cruise Ships and the merits of cruise vacations! Learn more about your a...d choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Happy New Year.
What you're getting right now is a taste, just a taste of a share and tell that I love.
This is one of my favorites at least.
You're not going to get the whole thing here.
You have to go to PobletauriFindsOut feed or YouTube channel for the rest of it. But this is Dan and this is
Meena and this is me and a surprising dose of Chris Cody as a bit of just a tease for you. And also
by the way, on yesterday's episode on Pobletauri finds Out. We have John Skipper telling us what it was like
to testify in a federal trial about FIFA bribery.
It's really good.
It's an insane look behind a series of locked doors.
So that's all over there, but for now, please enjoy.
So I read this article in the New York Times,
the headline is, and this will get people
to read, they sold everything to go on a three-year cruise, how it all unraveled.
Excellent headline writing by The New York Times, and then I start to read the story because
I can imagine in the dystopian last three years that there are a lot of people who have
had thoughts about, how do I get away from everything?
How do I remove myself from the dark realities
that surround us and create all this anxiety?
So I've seen nine month cruises
and now I see the three year cruise.
And before I get started,
because I don't know how mean of feels about cruises
or Pablo, but neither one of you striked me as cruise people.
The codis though, are our resident cruise line experts.
They love above fair.
Never been, never been, I've never been on a cruise.
They love, I should say that.
Okay, well, I consider both of you hygienic people
who don't wanna be on a floating disease.
Do you hear us talking about our teeth earlier?
And now we don't have a problem.
All the blood in us.
Floating disease vessel covered with food at midnight
and unlimited drink packages
that have Greg Cody corining into you on day two
because he's had 16 beers.
But Chris Cody is a cruiser fissionado.
And what is Mina, your cruise history?
Because my brother, keep in mind,
my brother was always going on cruises.
My brother traveled the world, saw the world,
sold art on cruise ships, very difficult professions,
saw the world and thought it was the greatest.
Like, yeah, massages.
I mean, all the time, things are taking care of,
it's a floating hotel, I don't have to take my bags out.
It seems like very comfortable, easy way to see the world.
That's the argument I would make on its behalf.
Chris Cody, can you do better than that?
I mean, the cruise is the perfect place.
I mean, the way I would sell it is by asking you,
Mina, when you go on a vacation,
just start listing some things you're looking for.
What are you trying to get out of a vacation?
The freedom to move around as I please in a country
and not be restricted to a boat.
Well, luckily for you, we have six stops on this cruise.
So in the span of a week, you will see countless places
spending many hours in each place.
Not that many hours.
Not that many hours.
Maybe seven hours, you got to be on back on board by five.
You have to hurry, you have to hurry back
and they'll leave without you if you don't get back.
But you get about seven hours of a place.
But what else could you be looking for?
A little relaxation. Well, I could you be looking for? A little relaxation.
Well, I could find you on deck six in the spa.
And if not, maybe after that,
we head up to deck nine for a nice relaxing afternoon
at the pool.
Oh, you're hungry, Mina?
What's that?
You're in the mood for a nice meal?
Well, on deck five, we have fine dining.
But if you're ready to gorge like the codis do,
head up to deck 11, the wind jammer.
My God, you'll eat like a queen.
Bar food.
The wind jammer feels like the consequence
of Chris Cody eating.
Oh, what's that mean?
You want to have some fun?
You want to get out and dance a little bit, let loose.
Well, there's a dance club on Decay.
This is all in elevator away, Mina.
This is all in New York, you need to get it.
70 URs, a million, you know, cabs and trains
and taking this train. No, no, no, hop in the elevator. Hey, and guess what? In this elevator,
it tells you what day it is. You look down at the floor up. It's Tuesday.
Tomorrow, it'll say Wednesday on here. It's a beautiful place, Mina.
You're so dystopian. What you're doing. Oh, what's that mean? You want to gamble
a little bit? You feel a little, you know, a little wild.
Interesting. You want to hit the blackjack table. Well, deck four, it's waiting
for you. And I got the best part of having even said it yet.
You said you like alcohol.
There's a bar on every floor.
Me and it's a perfect place.
It's and it's not sad at all.
Now the bathroom is.
You're all of the bathroom.
All of the bathroom.
All of the bathrooms are airplane bathrooms.
All of them.
I've been on one cruise.
My family took my husband and I,
my brother and his wife on a cruise to Iceland and Greenland,
which was really cool.
But it was a little bit unique.
It was like a National Geographic cruise.
Where you go for the Northern Lights,
where you're trying to do some Aurora Bury Alice.
We saw more lights.
Greenland was on like Mars.
It was interesting. I want to do that.
Really interesting.
So I think this was a bit of a unique cruise.
Also, it was also like a bunch of like old professors old professors like the clientele was a little bit different. Non-granks
Yeah, I will say though like you know
Okay, so here's my stand stand
Old Mina this is the worst I
I hate I didn't like croot the cruise or the concept of cruise for the same reason that I don't like Vegas.
I hate having my food, my enjoyment chewed up for me and then spat into my mouth.
I like to make my own choices. I like to have freedom of movement. I like to pick out restaurants on my own.
I don't want everything planned for me in the way that a cruise does for its patrons. I'm also
get a little seasick. I'll throw that out there too.
But you get to pick me now. You get to pick when you go to deck game.
Between like six.
You get to choose it.
Okay. And Chris, I said, how are you in the mood for bingo?
There's a get we got that. There's a roller coaster in a game room around here somewhere.
How are you feeling frisky?
And now I'll quote Chris on this. go in a game room around here somewhere. How are you feeling Frisky?
And I'll quote Chris on this. I have a child.
And now the idea of being able to voice that child
upon people and have everything all set up
for the presence of the child
and everything being made easy for me,
especially as he gets older, has appealed now
in a way that it did not before.
And it's like how this everything is easy for you.
Everything is laid out for you.
I used to know I'm like, I don't want to be challenged on vacation.
I want my entertainment chewed up and spat into my mouth.
I want my child taking care of.
I want options for him so that I don't have to think of them.
I don't want to think.
I don't use my brain anymore.
My brain is compromised in a way that it wasn't before.
So put me on a cruise as long as there's like a kid's place and I will happily spend my vacation.
Unlimited soft-serve ice cream. I'll take it.
Now I should point out that this particular story, while we got to railed by just our love or
lack of love for cruise ships, This particular story is selling your home,
uprooting yourself and getting involved in a scam that not surprisingly has a lot of
tentacles in Miami with the idea that it's almost impossible to get a ship to function
as a three-year economy, but you have to pay for it on the front end. And some people sold their home and now can't get out of this situation because they've
been defrauded because they can't actually pull together a three year cruise, even a nine
month cruise, which is being done by someone here locally.
I don't know whether it's Royal Caribbean or Norwegian, but a nine month cruise is pretty
hard.
And all of this, by the way, as the cruise industry
takes an unholy beating during the pandemic because one of the risks involved is if you
go out to see, you might stay there if a country has another virus problem and be out there
for three years right, whether you want to be or not, because you can't get back to
American citizenship at a turbulent time.
So your thoughts there on the craziness of selling your home in the dream of,
well, I'll just float around for three years.
Well, it's part of the, I think, a human instinct
is to wanna see the world, right?
Like it goes back centuries like the grand tour,
you would go to another continent,
you would see as much as you could
because what it means to be human is to explore the planet
that we have dominion over.
And so this premise, and I'm reading this article
about the three year, it was supposed to be a three hour tour.
The three year cruise is sad,
because there are these people who many of whom
had never been on a cruise before,
but they were sold the dream by a Chris Cody
like Fire fest adjacent sales
person allegedly, who was like, we're gonna give you all of this stuff.
Expand your life.
Expand your life.
Yes.
You can work remotely.
There'll be starlink.
You can see countries will take care of everything for you except it turns out that such
a premise of a three year cruise is like a sci-fi movie
that of course goes bad.
And luckily for that maybe it went bad before they ever departed, but you see in the
nondenning month cruise, which is a thing that's happening simultaneously, perhaps because
of the economic pressures Dan is pointing out that they got our sort of reconfigure, how
do we sell cruises to people? What they're doing or finding is that all of the people on Dan is pointing out that they got our sort of reconfigure, how do we sell cruises to people?
What they're doing or finding is that all of the people
on the nine month cruise have become essentially
TikTok reality television stars.
And so there's this headline in the Washington Post
about how this is the number one reality show
is all of these people who are, I guess, organically
in scare quotes, realizing that they can post updates
on their own,
like because of course, on cruises apparently
on urban on one, the ecosystem of characters of egos
of like, oh, the old people, the young people,
the people who want to fuck the people who are,
who are hoping to find, whatever,
all of that sh** happening in the night.
I don't like how you said that.
I was made uncomfortable by how I could rest in.
None of us needed that.
The voice, What's your
opinion of the voice? You pelvic thrust it was uncomfortable. I
What are you doing? I had Rob Gronkowski. What do you do?
Did it again?
It sounded like you were going for something monster trucky like what do you wait just have like what are you doing?
Do you think he says that in his regular life like?
Why would he do that?
Like when he's like talking to like one of his employees
and he's like did you, did you?
What the hell the hell?
Are you, is that what you're doing?
Is that, are you, are you, are you, are you,
are you really getting no backup from Chris Cody?
What the hell are you talking about my face?
Why it's in that?
Is that it is mine?
Ezra Edelman, are you like, yeah, did you get something
last night?
Did you have the fuck?
Like, when are you doing?
I invited Chris Cody to participate on this program
and the one time I need him is back up.
He's completely silent on whether anyone would be
possibly.
He was the one who incited me.
He was always producing.
He's like, he said while you were talking,
he said to me, why did he say it like that?
And then I wondered, why did he say it like that? And then I wondered, why did he say it like that?
I was gonna let it slide.
I was, it's the root broo, okay?
I'm hopped up on root broo.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Okay, there's a lot more than that over on our YouTube channel
at PavletoryFindinesOut or our podcast feed.
Truly exclusive and invasive, uh, mean of time's teeth content.
It's not a metaphor. That's actually what you'll get. So, um, see you over there.