The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: Get Lost
Episode Date: November 20, 2023The crew remembers when getting lost on the road was just par for the course of life, now it means you're an idiot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Do you ever get caught in that middle ground where you're like beating it by a minute and
you slow down a little and then the minute's back you're like,
God damn it.
Ways needs to really get a shit together and not be changing the times on me.
Like, stick with the exact arrival time that you gave me and I will see if I got there sooner
Or if you were wrong and you lied to me because ways is constantly oh no, here's an extra 10 minutes
Oh look you got here right on time is like no, I didn't get here on time you told me I was got here 12 minutes ago
And you changed the time while I wasn't looking at the screen do you think I'm an idiot ways no?
I know you lied there. Oh is right when they're always right when you're pulling in it. Oh it says one minute left exactly right It's a sliding scale. They're always right. When you're pulling in it, it says one minute left. Exactly right.
It's a sliding scale.
They're constantly changing the arrival time.
Bullshit.
I'd love to just go back for a second.
And when are we coming back?
Show everybody we've been on the air for 45 seconds.
I'd like to show everybody in our audience, rewinding for just a second,
that Stu got of all the people on the planet
with his resume is saying what's not smart enough
is a technology that tells you somehow,
exactly how many minutes into the future
you will arrive at a place
because we have a satellite technology
that would have seemed inconceivable 15 years ago.
Back when, you know what, let's make it 20 years ago
when there are no cell phones, you are lost
and you gotta stop and ask somebody,
how do I get over here or pull out a map?
I'm printing out map quest, all right, I'm not stopping to ask.
I'm looking at the sheet that I printed out
and I'm gonna figure this thing out. Yeah, but it's always off by a minute or two
That's all I'm saying but you saying that that's not
I'm gonna get it right a technology that is allowing us
How much traffic is up ahead? I'm always saying how do you know that I'm on this side street alley that you
That you have all the satellite imprints you are tracking me all the time aren't you ways you know where I am all the satellite imprints. You are tracking me all the time, aren't you, ways?
You know where I am all the time.
You, my phone, have more information on me,
dangerous information that can end everything I care about
than any other product I have in my life.
But then the very next moment,
you're on the highway,
I think you're going the wrong direction.
I mean, sometimes it's just like,
yeah, very inconsistent. I'm, sometimes it's just like, yeah. Very inconsistent.
I'm not saying it's not in exact.
It's just less inconsistent than humans.
Be exact though.
Well, you be exact.
I'm not a computer.
I made them a human.
But this particular thing that you're asking to be exact,
I would imagine changes minute to minute over 24 minutes
where traffic unclogs
And so you get there three minutes later. It's pretty close to exact and
I am not quite so jaded yet to gots that I am still not fascinated or amazed by the fact that my
Telephone can take me exactly where it is that I want to go
I am not yet numb to advancements and progress
and technology that this, I know the rest of you are like,
what are you talking about, Dan, I've had this all my life,
what's the big deal?
I'm telling you that I recall a time,
when if I got lost outside of a stadium looking for somebody,
I couldn't just call them and find them. I couldn't just call them and find them.
I couldn't just text them or find them.
I couldn't pin them.
I'd have a real problem on my hands trying to find someone
outside of a stadium where there are a hundred thousand people
and a cell phone doesn't exist.
I'm just getting lost.
They've really taken that ability
and that lucks you away from us.
I don't even remember what that feels like. I wish I could get lost more often
honestly. When you could either just get out of anything but see like I couldn't
find it, I got lost, I couldn't make it, I'm sorry. Now it's like one you turn.
You just want to get out of stuff now you're always a you turn away from it
finding your way again. Let me get lost. Let me be by myself where no one can find me. To the point of asking people for directions, what if you're always a you turn away from it finding your way again. I just let me get lost. Let me be by myself where no one can find me.
To the point of asking people for directions,
what if you stop at a place where the guy doesn't know where he's at?
Either he just kind of got there.
He's like, yeah, buddy, make a left up here.
Make a right up there, you'll be good.
And then you get there, you're like, oh shit, I'm even more lost than I was.
That's English.
You're that guy.
You were 100% that guy that left.
Said someone the right way.
Bing bong boom left right here.
The tree make a left.
Bahame, be doble, you know. When I get boom, left right here. The tree make a left, bahame, pebito, ruido,
una queda y, we're good.
Where in America?
I didn't want to hurt your feelings
by saying how many times I've wished you'd get lost.
Me?
On the way to work, that doesn't really work as well.
I forgot how to get there.
But you hurt us feeling exactly. It still happens to me, by the way to work, that doesn't really work as well. I forgot how to get there. But you heard us feeling that way. It still happens to me, by the way,
just because I have the technology doesn't mean
that I don't get lost.
You were driving in a cul-de-sac, it's so cool.
I know, it's still, it, and,
stewing in my own shame because of how often it had happened.
I'm like, I'll show both my wife and ways and hear him.
Oh, this dead end wasn't here before.
Well, now there's a shame to being lost.
Before it was, you know, it was a badge of honor.
You get lost and you could figure it out.
You could always pretty shame it out.
Now it's like, you're not allowed to get lost
because you have all these technologies
to tell you how to go.
So if you get lost, you're really in it.
Where before if you get lost, you just got lost.
The other day, I had to take someone home.
I had to take Google or home, right?
And I'm driving to take them home
and they move the exit onto 95 from one side of the street.
Oh, it's crazy.
They're the other side of the street.
No, I've seen so many possible accidents there
because it's the dumbest, I know what you're talking about.
It's the dumbest possible way that they're doing that.
I see so many people stopped on the middle of the highway
because they're like, I was trying to go to my right and they put what used to be on my right all
the way on my left. The way the city is constructed is it an apocalyptic calamity. I mean it's just
a disaster. Blame the Cubans. Jackson stuff. I ended up going on 985 North instead of south and I'm
like he's like are you supposed to go this way?
I'm like, nope, but we're going this way now,
and then he's like, well, you think you can find the next eggs?
And I'm like, leave me alone.
Classic dude.
I'm doing you a favor.
You asked me to take you home.
You somehow got to work without a car today.
You're relying on me to get you home.
We never have this conversation, and then what happens?
He goes, how many makes fun of me to his wife?
That's all he does.
I think he's only my friend so that I can have these disasters and his calamities that he can make fun of in the privacy of his own home
Billy, I think we're lost
He does my limit if he speaks very soft very quietly
He may not work here. He's not here today. He may have quit last week and told us and we just don't know
He's actually on air right now speaking. We just get here. Beta man.
What?
Tell like it is. He did the only thing that's better than one of them is two of them.
Talking back and forth to Joe.
The only place where that's better is at the voting booth.
There's two forms of valid ID. Come on, how hard is this?