The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Postgame Show: Social Phobias
Episode Date: August 22, 2023What is your greatest fear? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
So I've been getting a lot of advice on how to deal with my shy bladder, which I've
never actually wanted advice for in the past, Greg.
You weren't here yesterday, but I was not.
I was sort of talking about how Dan, one of his most famous takes, I guess, if you will,
never really takes unveilings on the show was when he mentioned, oh, there are standing
wipers and there are sitting wipers, right?
And he basically complains about the potty talk on this show when he started it essentially,
right?
The most popular potty subject on this show.
So I was talking about sort of how
the mind is such a powerful thing that even though I'm trying to desperately get this out of me,
nothing's happening. And so the advice that I've been getting has been pouring in. Didn't realize
it was a national epidemic, apparently. But one of them, and I'm thinking about this, probably not
really practically, but one of them was to put on noise-canceling headphones.
So I'm saying to myself,
and I think Jeremy brought this up yesterday,
but I did.
I'm picturing myself going,
let's just say to a nightclub,
and don't, like, look, I understand the AirPods
give you some noise-canceling,
but for real noise-canceling,
you need, what do they call these,
the cups, you need real, the bad boys.
So cans, I'm cans. Sorry, see, my fault. The cups, or do they call these? The cups, you need real, the bad boys. Some cans, I'm sorry, see.
Okay, my fault.
The cups, or you need them there.
Imagine just different parts of the body.
Imagine just going to the bathroom, just like pulling up to your urinal, like I don't
know, just get the whole that's in your merse, like a man purse or something and just pulling
out big giant headphones and being like, ah, and like I'm supposed to fool my mind because that
nobody's here, because now all I can hear is my own thoughts.
Like that, that's not gonna work for me.
I feel like if I was standing right behind you whispering water noises, that would make
you more comfortable.
That would be the most uncomfortable urination experience.
Quite the visual.
I'm not looking.
My eyes are closed.
It doesn't matter. It would not be visual. I'm not looking. My eyes are close. It doesn't matter.
It would not be more.
Not a perverted.
I will just be with my eyes closed.
Not touching.
Not pressed up against you, but just as close as I can be without being pressed up to where
like you can feel his breath on your neck.
And then I'm just like.
So like, well, you could stand in front of him and just like go right next to his ear.
That's true.
And then he could just like, so I'm on your side.
Once again, eyes closed. I'm on your side.
Once again, eyes closed.
I'm on your side.
Maybe me and Billy do it together.
And like, we're on both of your ears.
I'm good.
I'm leaving it.
I'm in your right ear and Billy's in your left ear
and we're both like,
Is today the end of it?
Is it the end of it?
Is it the end of it?
Is it the end of the peacocker?
No, right in the middle of it.
No, I mean like today was today the...
No, no, no, it depends.
Why are you so against it, Billy? There's so many topics that you are yes
And in this one you're like, no, please stop stop with the weener talk. I just feel like I don't know that many details
You know, you know, just trying to avoid potential lawsuits and the like why who's gonna
Law suit big ball. There's coming after us. Oh, they're suing because what I gave
too much information about my body.
I'm not in charge of this place.
I feel like you're doing a public service
because I'm reading something here.
It says a person with paroesis shy
bladder syndrome is believed to be
the second most common social phobia
ranking only behind fear of public speaking.
Wow.
So you have mastered public speaking.
You have mastered public speaking.
What's third?
It doesn't say.
What would be third?
Wow.
Shocking.
Shocking too.
It is.
I'm telling you there are so many people like that.
There's not super like me, rather. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's like, I'm struggling. I mean, people struggle, but it's not out of fear.
It's more just, you know, not enough fiber.
Yeah, I think that the struggle there might just be public poopers who are more, it's an
issue from a germs perspective.
So maybe they're just having waters of the right.
But it's not funny.
And this is amongst the Dan notes that he talks about, like the closer you are to a toilet,
the more your your body wants to eliminate. And it's like, mine's the opposite. It's like the closer I get, it's like, maybe I are to a toilet, the more your body wants to eliminate, and it's like mine's the opposite.
It's like the closer I get it's like,
eh, maybe I want to stay in here,
and it's just so annoying,
but I didn't realize it was the second large of theobia.
Like you're going off a diving board.
As you're climbing up the diving board,
you're really excited to go,
but if you're a little bit afraid of heights,
and you start to inch out onto the diving board,
you're like, ah, actually, maybe I don't want to be here,
which yeah, maybe that happened to me
when I was nine years old and had to climb down
from a diving board at Summer Camp,
and it was super scarring.
Diving board's are dangerous.
I was my 10 open on a diving board.
Really?
What are you trying to do?
I just fell off of it.
We were like, I walked up the diving board
and my feet were wet and I slipped
and I hit my chin on the diving board,
completely busted and open,
and then fell onto the sidewalk.
Lifeguard did notice for, yeah.
You missed the pool?
Yeah.
Oh, really?
That's why.
Lifeguard didn't notice for a bit too.
Well, you weren't drowning.
That's why I've purchased it.
I was just bleeding out on the sidewalk and I had to get stitches in my chest.
This is a public pool.
Yeah.
Well, I'm looking at BaptistHealth.com and I'm seeing a different list of the most common phobias.
Number one, I'm seeing fear of heights being number one, followed by fear of flying,
which I feel like is a pretty similar one.
Well, that's not a social phobia, right?
Right.
Yeah, because socially, we all get together in P and I'm the one who can't do it.
You should see a hypnotist or something.
A lot of people get on planes, socially like a lot of people get on planes.
Yeah, I mean look, no, but that's not.
What's a videophobia at number four?
What is that?
Personal experiences, most common phobias,
fear of snakes.
I have that.
Fear of snakes is for it fits, fear of dogs.
You're not gonna say the name of the dog.
Oh, these are all you.
These words really mean.
That's what it means.
No, no, that's the fear of injection.
Great injection there, Chris. I also have that.ven Jackson. Greerven Jackson, they're a Christian.
I also have that.
Needles.
While we were hanging out with our friend, Brett Williams, and he was talking about, you know,
fear of little people, and I had to check this a million times to make sure that I wasn't
being whatever the non-sports version of Butcracked was.
Okay, because, first of all, it's called a condrowplacia phobia.
It's the fear of little people,
although this term is not used anymore,
as it is considered offensive to people with dwarfism.
M words, sorry.
It's also called nanosophobia,
and this is the one where I'm telling you,
I had to check.
It's also called lollipop-gill-de-phobia.
No way.
I'm telling you. Off the Wizard of Oz. Look at Google results. also called lollipop guild of phobia. No way.
I'm telling you.
Off the Wizard of Oz.
Look at Google results.
It has to be, I mean, look, fearof.net, I'm telling you,
that is real.
It makes sense.
I know a girl who has, who she is afraid of little people.
Yeah, I've got a friend who is too.
It's kind of crazy.
And why? Have you ever asked her?
I don't, like the explanation she gave to me just didn't make any sense,
and it wasn't really anything I wanted to learn or about.
You know, I hear you.
How in control are you of your fears?
Well, that's why I'm so shocked by this, you know,
whatever it is, shy bladder, because I feel like I'm in control of everything.
I feel like in my mind, I feel like it's strong.
I can... I... If I have a fear, I can get over it.
If I'm a little bit claustrophobic, whatever, I'll fight it.
I had a, I don't like like cold water or, you know,
cold air and I did, you know, one of those ice baths
or whatever and I was just like,
how's fine, all right, I'll do it.
But this one situation, I have no idea.
I have no idea why.
Makes no sense.
Now, does that, do you have shy blood or syndrome
at all times,
including like when you have to go so bad?
If there's people around,
unless it's like somewhat of a private sort of area,
then yeah, it doesn't matter.
Like that will be pain in my body
and I still will not be able to.
If you, if let's say we went to the bathroom
at the same time and we were at journals,
like not right next to each other, but and and you went would you look at me and be like
like it look of like wow I'm comfortable around you I'm able to pee next to you.
I will maybe maybe there's probably have to be a lot of noise. It's funny because the the person that
Mike has made me claim I was most the most famous person that I've peed next to was Mark Cutsay.
I was, is he still the A's manager by the way?
I don't know, but I love the name, I think so.
I definitely didn't pee.
Mark Coy was just standing there.
I was just standing there, he got done, he left,
and then I left, and then five minutes later,
I came back to the bathroom.
Wow.
I peed next to Clint Black, the country singer.
Strong flow.
Yeah, very.
Extra strong.
Did you pee?
No.
He wore his cowboy hat while peeing, which I thought
was weird. I don't know why it's just struck me as straight. So you didn't expect him to take off the
cowboy hat. Yeah. You're being never spec'd. Who wears a cowboy hat when they're peeing?
People wear it. Where do you put it? Do you take off your hat or something? I don't take off my hats
when I pee. It's a public. But is he? You know where you're wearing the most common cap of all cap?
You don't even take off your hat when you do makeup in the morning
You don't want anybody I raise it well I'm wearing the hat on the show. Why would I still be polite?
If you're a makeup artist a little bit more room to operate maybe I want to wrap back around to social phobias
Because I think it's important we make the distinction between social phobias and the rest of these phobias
Because social the reason that public peeing would be so high up is these are all things
that are sort of fears of crowds.
So other social phobias are things like starting or having a conversation with a stranger,
or meeting someone new and shaking hands.
I hate small talk.
Or voicing opinions, which I think is, that would be a very tough fear to live with, and
something that clearly none of us have issues with.
I mean, I'm not the greatest take-giver.
I might have some opinions, some fears of my opinions.
It felt like you were gonna say something there, okay.
I was so paranoid about being,
literally, literally not.
Literally, we said at the beginning,
there's no crack.
I'm gonna say you can talk for as long as you want.
Anytime, no.
Shagbladder syndrome makes perfect sense to to me i don't happen to have it
but it makes perfect sense because it's a private thing going to the bathroom right
it's a private thing
i don't know it ideally
bcc new and improved on lebert are sure with the stugas
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