The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Best of DLS: Would You Attend Their Funeral?!
Episode Date: November 23, 2023We continue this Thanksgiving Best Of with Billy and Chris doing the Miami Marlins spring training broadcast, Dan and David Samson played their favorite game, "Would you attend their funeral?!", and w...e talk to UFO expert Jeremy Corbell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
This is the Dunlabel Tarshow with the Stugat's Podcast.
Welcome to Dark Theory's And Conspiracies! When will this old couple die?
Let's play another clip from Billy Gill and Chris Cody doing Marlon Spring Training
baseball on the radio.
We should get through the Trevor Rodgers stuff really though because he's probably only
going to get it in four right?
Well last time he went four.
It would be really good if he went maybe five.
That damn Jordan Walker wasn't falling off so many pitches, you know.
The due to swear on the air?
Oh, can I not say that?
No.
Let's refrain.
It might have to hit the dump button back in the station, folks.
There's a swig of a line drive up the middle and a base.
They're no longer dormant, and fleeting off the top of the second inning.
I thought I was coming in high last inning. Billy really has taken the mantle.
Yeah.
See, all right. So the issue here is Kyle is very rarely around cursing.
So I think he thought, I think, damn, is safe. Billy called some player.
This damn guy, and you should have seen Kyle, it was just like trying to do the call. I think
we need to dump this back in this studio. Like Kyle was freaking out. I don't think it's
a curse where I think they were safe, but it was just funny to see the fear on Kyle and
Billy because you know, Billy, he's a rebel rouser, but he doesn't actually want to offend
it. So when he thought, oh my god, I just cursed and they had to dump something that the
look on Billy's face was the best part of that.
Imagine if he said, stovetop putting.
Do you swear on the air?
Oh, can I not say that?
No.
Let's refrain.
It might have to hit the dump button back in the station, folks.
There's a swing of a line drive up the middle of the base.
That wasn't all Billy did to bring it to a dark place.
You got to play this clip.
It's a little bit longer, but it's chef's kiss here from Billy.
I have a morbid question for you, Kyle.
Oh, fire away.
Now we're talking.
OK, so you see this man that's walking here.
He's walking in with a Cardinal
Cersei that says together, older gentleman.
He's got the cream-colored jersey on.
Yeah, so he has a jersey that says together,
and then presumably, oh, yeah, there you go.
The person they've been together since.
And then it's teen.
And we don't see the second number, right?
Uh-huh.
Oh, that's adorable.
Well, yes.
Heaven forbid, though, one of them passes.
Do you retire the jersey?
Yeah, oh yeah.
OK.
I think the question is, do you put it in like a case?
Do you frame it?
First pitch at Joey Wendell's a cult strike.
Maybe you buried it with the person, right?
Boy, we have taken a dark turn.
You're right.
Yikes.
Maybe, B-O-1.
Swing it a best.
You can go ask him.
That'd be wild.
I mean, he's kind of close.
We could just shout down.
Now, let's not.
No.
No, let's not.
You aired on the side of caution there.
That's good.
1968.
Together since 1960. Oh, they have a long way to go
Oh two swing of best they put together 55 years those two love birds. That's beautiful
You don't care. What do you mean I don't care? I love love. How did we pull the calculator out on the computer?
love. Kyle did we pull the calculator out on the computer? Not my phone. It's not my phone.
I must hate you guys so much. It's unbelievable that that's
to do. That's where that's always funny. The whole one
region's filled in kids three McDonald's for life.
Featured Hollywood showrunner and let me start intern Mike sure.
This theoretical magic card that gives you free KFC for life.
So my late stepfather, sorry, my late father-in-law,
Regis Philbin had had this for McDonald's.
So he did an ad, I think, for McDonald's sometime in like the early 90s.
And as part of the thanks for for this,
he was given like a gold, not real gold, but like a gold colored, like credit card thing
that said, like this card in titles, Regis Philbin to free McDonald's for life. And he
loved this. And so when my wife was a child, they would be on like a car trip somewhere.
And he would see him McDonald's and he would get
really excited and he would pull in to the McDonald's and he would go inside and kept this
thing with him in his wallet and he would rush up to the counter and they would order
a bunch of big Macs and stuff.
And then he would go, look, I get free McDonald's for life.
And then the cashier would just stare at it and use because he was like, what is this?
Why is he just filming and
they said, and then it's all demanding free $3 hamburgers. And they would go, I've never seen
this before. I have to call someone and then like, it would be this confusing thing. And eventually
you would go, it's fine. Just here, you would just pay for the food. And never, so it never worked
because every what it was just a very confusing object because there were there did it's not a thing that anyone has.
The idea of that employee showing up to work that day. Yeah, like that didn't come up in the
in the onboarding. Yeah, and the handbraining. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It says if though, I just
leave you think about it. It's as if a celebrity walked
in and said just with their hands, hey, I have this glowing orbit entitles me to all your
stuff for free. Yeah. What are you supposed to do?
And then who do you even called to see if this is real? And also I like to believe that the
card itself was more of a symbolic gesture. And then he was just like, no, this is great.
I get free McDonald's, but then no one ever informed the thousands of employees around
the globe that if you ever see this, you give this guy free food.
Classic Reage.
I want to congratulate you, Mike Sure, and tell the audience now that you at Metal Arc
Media have done such a good job as an intern on Stad of the Day that we are now promoting you
to one Stad of the Day a Day and also one
Regis Philbin story a day now.
So, okay, we are gonna do that going forward.
Yes, we're gonna reach of the day and Stad of the Day.
And we get to go through your house
and sell you to that day.
Yes.
Yes.
But you know how much software does that happen? Wait a minute, do you know how much time we had to dance.
Wait a minute.
Do you know how much stuff this guy has of reaches that we could sell for charity?
Like this is, I don't, but I feel like we can, I feel like we can rummage through all
his things and give it all away to charity.
We're turning this into like a Regis Fulben estate sale now.
Do you have anything from Regis Mike? I have some
things there. They're, I would call them family heirlooms that I've not that aren't for
that. But yeah, the McDonald's cards still around. Now, I've looked for the McDonald's
card because I wanted to try it. I wanted to see if I could find it. But I think it's
long gone. I mean, it was like 30 years ago.
But sure, yeah, sell whatever I've got in my house. It doesn't matter to me. Billy, you know, Billy, you lit up these things. You lit up at the idea of a McDonald's
all access card that we just filled in hand one. Well, I'm glad that he told that story,
because that was going to be my exact question was what happens when he actually tries to use it
as a restaurant, because there's no way that someone that's working behind the register was on board at
McDonald's somewhere in a road trip in middle America.
Like in the event that reaches Philbin shows up, this is what you do when he presents
the card to you.
They should present their employees with everyone who has the card though, right?
I mean, no, but it's going to, but what it, that's the problem.
It's like, okay,
it's Regis Filben and Mikhail Gorbachev. And, you know, like, it's probably like a dozen
people who were never, 11 of whom are never going to go into the files. So, all right,
Mr. Gorbachev ordered me a half brown. All right, Mike.
Regid the way.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Was that a tear down?
Was that a Mr.
Grover trough tear down that wall
parody?
That was limited fake Ronald Reagan.
Yes.
So they went to McDonald's
together in this situation.
They did.
Thank you for dissecting that.
Can I say a rest in power in this situation?
I don't know.
Yeah.
You that kind of ended the Soviet Union. Well, then're resting power. Well, now the hockey game did that. Yeah, that's true.
Mitt Romney has the McDonald's golden car, Mike. So does Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.
Warren Buffett had actually seen it. Even those people, people unlikely to be going into a
roadside McDonald's in rural Pennsylvania.
I've actually seen the warm buffet.
It is crazy and that he sets aside the exact change
that he needs for his McDonald's breakfast every single morning.
He'll go with his, he has it figured out,
it's $1.37 because he orders the exact same thing every day
and pays to the penny so that he doesn't get changed.
Yeah, there's a lot of stories about him like that that he still doesn't need or maybe
it's all the Walmart. I can't remember. It's all the Walmart guys used to like coach everywhere
and it's like a drive old pick Sam Walton used to drive like an old beat up pickup truck
like. I don't know. Hold on a second though. Juju is saying that J.J.Watt has a golden
Chipotle card.
Wow.
A lot of athletes have those, Dan.
It's a, it's a, it's a thing now.
Or it was a thing in like 2010,
then the whole neurovirus thing happened,
Chipotle kind of dropped off a little bit.
I still ate there though, that entire time.
I thought all the subway athletes got those for subway.
Like every time you see a subway commercial, they get the subway card.
She has a goal, like, didn't you do a whole subway thing?
Mike?
I love you, Agonair.
So far.
Thank you.
By the way, Gullic gave me a host of show with them.
I don't know.
Not you.
This sound is five minutes overdue.
Everything about this segment has been.
No cap you me away.
Diling up a Regis Philbin anecdote to knowing the exact change for Warren Buffett, Walmart
guys flying coach everyone here looking for.
Or aliens, you?
With Jeremy Corbal host of Fwiponize.
Now, this guy's making sense so far, but I just want to know,
I'm a little skeptical when it comes to this stuff,
so I'm going to let you guys know at the end of this,
where this guy falls on my cook meter.
I just want to throw that out there.
I don't want to be disrespectful.
My name's Chris, which.
Oh, Chris, hold on.
Let me ask you something.
Extraordinary evidence requires what?
Extraordinary, so extraordinary claims,
extra, require extraordinary evidence, right?
You're one of those guys.
That's right.
Okay, cool.
So I believe that extraordinary claims
that they require evidence.
I think it's extraordinary
that people don't know the evidence.
So it's not your fault, skepticism is good.
I am more skeptical than you know.
We've never met Chris, but here's the deal, brother.
If you are not caught up, that's not my fault.
That's yours.
Me neither's moving.
Let's get you caught up right now.
He's calling you ignorant.
And I know no, no, no, not at all.
What I'm saying is that the stigma is so vast.
It's in our military.
The stigma is what causes lack of information.
We are in a data rich environment when it comes to UFOs,
but the public, the general person,
you know, taking their kids to school,
paying their bills, it's a data poor environment,
and it doesn't need to be that way.
So let's get there, Chris.
You're in a pink room with a safe and a typewriter.
I have pink is my favorite color.
And I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm not the same as they're an alien in that safer.
What an alien firm nor deny what's in the safe.
What is the evidence?
What evidence do we have?
Okay. So it depends what you're talking about.
Like on what level do you want evidence?
I've released military filmed Pentagon confirmed
UFO designated footage.
I mean, you're talking about craft
that do things that we can't do.
I'll give you one example,
because if you want evidence, how long a show we got?
Very simple.
Commander David Fraber off the West Coast of California in 2004, he engaged
an object, a craft of unknown origin.
He was tasked and set out there on a training mission.
When he went out there, he observed, but not only that, Commander Chad Underwood filmed
what we now know as the Tic Tac UFO.
This object had abilities far beyond thousands of years of what we're
supposed to have right now in the US. We know it was not US. We know it was not China.
We know it was not Russia. Who's was it? This craft was able to drop from 80,000 feet
actually above that because that's the scam volume of the radar system they were using.
It could drop above 80,000 feet, so from outer space,
all the way down to sea level, like that, and less than a second.
Now you tell me what we have that does that, that's tracked on radar, that's tracked on
satellite, that's tracked on the ASA system on the pilots, and we have visual confirmation
from five pilots.
So you tell me, whose machine is that?
That's the extraordinary evidence for the
extraordinary claim that there are objects out there we don't understand. Mike McCleung is
Prae's proof, right? Mac. Who's that? Mac McClune? The guy who won the dunk contest.
The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy who won the dunk contest. The guy sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. It's all right.
It's not.
Jeremy, what do they want?
The aliens.
The aliens.
Okay, but you're making an assumption now.
So what do you call an alien?
Something that is unknown to you, you say, is alien to you.
If you're talking about beings from another planet, you're making a leap in logic, which I don't
know yet if that's true.
Although I do suspect that, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. to you, you say is alien to you. If you're talking about beings from another planet, you're
making a leap in logic, which I don't know yet if that's true. Although I do suspect by the
types of propulsion systems that are documented from our military, that they do come from somewhere
else. So they will be alien to you. They will be alien to me, but I don't know exactly what
that means. What do they want? That was your question. How could I know that? I don't know exactly what that means. What do they want? That was your
question. How could I know that? I don't even know what I want.
There. The podcast. What are you on for? I mean, he's called.
You know, his show explores strange phenomena. You have, oh, he just blinked for the first
time in his entire. Yeah. Yeah.
Concerning alien conspiracies. That's exactly what an alien would say.
Hard evidence related to the paranormal,
cutting edge science, big time crimes.
It do you think,
do you think that there is a,
we obviously know more than what we've released
and as a few,
as of a few years ago,
we've declassified all this
and we've totally acknowledged there are things out there
that we don't understand that can do things we can explain.
But do you think a part of this is being withheld from the public now just because so many deities would be confused by this and would not know where to go and us as a species right now we couldn't handle the truth?
Well, first of all, we can't handle the truth. We have a right to know and need to know, and I feel a duty to find out.
But is there a cover-up?
Okay, so that's what I'm talking about.
Like, this is not theoretical.
We have documents from the CIA, from the FBI.
This is a historic cover-up.
Nobody wants to admit that there is a technology out there that is far more superior than the
greatest supernation that we know on planet earth.
So this is you're asking me, is there a cover up?
Man, they cover up how much they spend on a toilet seat at the Pentagon.
So you're asking me if there's a cover up about UFOs?
Yeah, the answer is F and yes.
You know what, my boy's cooking right now.
Let my boy cook.
I'm with him
He is cooking. I don't understand. I don't understand that reference can you explain that you're that you're spitting
That's me. It's so I was I was done. It's a fine
I'm saying I'm with your brother that you're cooking right now again
Yeah, he's with you that you're that you're pretty not a cook. Yeah, he lost. Porton, him he has a Cuban voice box and it was really dry and solid.
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm Dan and we've got an assortment of clowns
parading around us. Look, guys, look, guys, I really appreciate you want to
cover this topic. We kind of have fun with it, right? Everybody's like, oh,
man, this is kind of crazy. The thing is, is that it might be the biggest
story of our time.
In fact, I'm pretty sure it is.
It's either that there are things that are non-human,
so non-human intelligence, engaging humanity,
or we have some sort of deception program
where we're being led to believe that.
Now, that is much less likely, much less
because it would be coordinated over generations. So it's good to have that. Now, that is much less likely, much less because it would be coordinated
over generations. So it's good to have fun with this, but let's be honest, isn't this
curious?
Super. And if this technology is out there and can do things, and this is just one ship,
then one would make logical assumptions that if they have this type of technology, they
have technology to do worse.
Why haven't they?
Why are they just observing?
Playing with their food.
Why is everything, you know, it's a lot of people get skeptical of UFOs because it's
a lot like Bigfoot and that.
Okay, but nobody can get me a crystal clear image of it.
It's just something like Bigfoot.
No, but we have so many photos and images in the Pentagon confirmed and we have military
pilots that come forward with footage, radar, sonar, thermal, everything.
There's nothing like that.
And I've seen the videos that you're mentioning, but still you referred to it as a tic-tac
because it appears as a tic-tac.
There's still people can still, what we have out there, people can still dismiss as that's
got to be something else.
There isn't the one great great holy grail piece of footage
where you can see definition in these things.
And you know that you've seen,
yeah, that you've seen,
hold on, is that what's in the safe?
That's what's in the safe.
Okay, check it out.
Let me give you something.
So why is it called the Tick-Tack UFO?
This is freaking hilarious.
So the guy that filmed it is named Commander Chad Underwood.
He was under Commander David Fraver, who was head of the Black Aces.
And when they engaged this UFO for the military, the guy comes back from filming this.
And the stigma is so bad. So the guy is asking him, you know, kind of in the CIC, they call it, which is the Combat Information Center.
They're saying, so what did it look like? And all this guy's thinking is like,
if I tell him, it's gonna sound crazy.
So he started thinking about 80s movies,
and he's like, airplane, I remember that movie,
and there's this great scene in airplane
where they're describing a plane.
And he's like, you know, it's cylindrical,
it looks like, I don't know, a Tylenol with wheels,
and he was like, I can't say Tylenol, that's too crazy.
So he's like, looks like a tick-tax, sure.
So that's how I got the famous name,
the tick-tax Yobo, because it was all long.
It was this kind of a chalkboard white,
you know, or kind of like drawing board white.
And it was just an unbelievable machine
that could do maneuvers that seemed immune to inertial effect.
And what that means for people is about my level of smartness, which is I had to learn what
inertial means I looked it up on Google. But it's like the idea that it can move instantaneously
without deceleration or acceleration. So this thing is going ping ponging like imagine you take
a glass of water and you take a glass that's empty and you put a ping pong ball inside and shake it around
That's how fast it worked normally human beings that were occupying that craft would be turned into jelly because of the amount of force
When they move at that rate and speed so it's pretty amazing actually that's how what that's why they call it the tic-tac-u-f-o
So I'm pretty fascinated by all of this and right now it seems as though we're looking at the news and there's green lasers being
shot down on top of Hawaii and chunks of the sun are flying off.
And there's all these UFO sightings.
Could it be China?
Could it be all these weather balloons?
I'm going to be real with you.
It kind of feels like we're on the precipice of something bigger here and invasion, perhaps.
Do you think that there is something out there that if it has this technology,
it could destroy us if it wanted to?
Well, for sure, the technology that we are witnessing
can be weaponized.
And I'm gonna shoot you straight here,
and you don't need to believe me,
because we'll see if I'm right.
But the technology itself can be weaponized.
The propulsion systems themselves are a matter of
national security is my understanding from direct communications that I have with people.
We're actually talking weapons of mass destruction. Imagine if you had a technology that is so
powerful, it could bend space timing, it could bend gravity. That could be weaponized. Now,
is this war of the worlds? Now, we got Biden
shooting down balloons over the US. It's so ridiculous. This has been with us for a long time.
So if whoever operates these technologies, let it be terrestrial, some nation we don't know about.
It's just been here thousands of years, or if it is from somewhere else, and you choose your
poison on that, non-terrestrial,
non-human intelligence, other planets, other dimensions, I don't even know what that means,
there's nothing to fear because it's been with us for a long time and also if this type
of civilization or this type of entities that make these crap, if they wanted to hurt
us, you figured they would.
However, if you wanna get dark and weird,
I just released on our last episode
something about cattle mutilations,
which I had an allergy to.
I was like, oh, what is this about?
This has nothing to do with UFOs.
God damn, was I wrong.
Turns out the FBI studied this back in the day
and this was all documented.
And you look at the FBI files on
cattle media relations. So my question to you is, if you are raising a herd for food of cattle,
do you feed them? Do you give them water? Do you give them antibiotics if they're sick? Do you
actually genetically alter them in some way to make them better food for you? I sure hope. That's not
what's going on here. I don't think it is, and I'm kind of making a joke,
but the point is we haven't been harmed.
Maybe we've been assisted.
So whoever this is, whatever they're intent,
scientifically, we should look at this,
we should explore it, and we should look at it sober,
mind it, and reduce the stigma.
If we can reduce the stigma, then we're gonna see
what's right in front of our eyes.
What can I as a normal person do about any of this?
I'm not sure you're a normal person. You could be a reptilian from Zorgon, but here's the deal.
Good question, normal person. What can you do? Be loud, ask questions, have normal conversations, look at the evidence, start listening, watch the 60 minutes episode with Commander Fraver and Detrick, another fighter pilot, the Saw
the Tic-Tac, look at the releases that I put out, watch the interviews I did on CNN, watch
and listen and try to understand the evidence.
Now, I have just started dropping UFO bombs, right? I have been known or
become known as somebody that obtains and releases as a journalist what was once classified, but the
moment I make it public, it's unclassified because there's no designation, images of UFOs
filmed by our military. And I'm telling you, I've just started. So pay attention, have conversations, do podcasts like you're doing, and maybe
write some people, some representatives and say, Hey, I actually want to know what's up,
what's up with UFOs?
Do you have a best theory on what's happening right now in the news where the government
is shooting stuff down and doesn't know what it is that it's shooting down or claims that
it doesn't know and won't reveal what it's shooting down.
Well, I don't know, a best theory.
There's probably smarter people that got better theories than me, but here's the deal.
My theory is just my observation.
My observation is that I've looked at this for many years and I talk with people on the
hill in the Pentagon in every agency you can imagine.
I have people that inform me as a journalist. What I know is that this is a
charade. That we know that these objects are always there, that we just change the settings on our
radar because we don't want to see these objects because they don't have anything to do with flight
safety. But then when you adjust that radar system and you get NORAD looking at this, they're everywhere.
All the time, ubiquitous across the globe,
not a US issue, it's everywhere.
So what we're seeing now is kind of comical.
We're like shooting at balloons with missiles
that we know are Chinese reconnaissance balloons.
Guess what?
Chinese reconnaissance balloons, just like this one,
been floating over our skies for more than 50 years.
So why the theatrics?
Why do we shoot a missile at it and barely hit it,
by the way, lower right, crazy?
So here's the deal.
I don't know.
I don't know why they're doing this.
All I know is that it's a story that got picked up.
And if you know anything about media,
it's pretty easy to get a story picked up
if you're the Pentagon.
So what's the point?
Is it acclimation?
No, they're gonna say it's balloons
because it is balloons. And I said that the day this started, what the real issue is, nobody wants you to know.
And the real issue is, is that there's a technological nation or a technological entity that are making
craft that are far beyond our knowledge. And we've been trying to reverse engineer them and we can't. And we can't because of the material science until we learn how to replicate the physical
materials which would require atomic layering in zero gravity as strange as that sounds,
we're never going to get anywhere.
But everybody's afraid that some other nation is going to figure what they call a derivative
technology from the technologies that we have been reverse engineering. is going to figure what they call a derivative technology
from the technologies that we have been reverse engineering.
Thank you, Jeremy.
Again, the name of the podcast is weaponized.
I feel like we should all say it together in a way
that brings attention to the podcast.
Weaponize. Weaponize.
Weaponize your curiosity.
Thank you, Jeremy. Weaponize.
Weaponize.
Chris, open your eyes, Matt.
No, no, no.
This isn't it.
It's good.
It's good.
Stay that way.
We should go to the cook meter.
You have to.
You're very moderate cook.
Like your cook level is not that high.
You came on.
You're very.
I'm way sainer than you, you crazy looking guy,
but here's the deal.
You know, the beard.
Use those words and we can point fingers.
We can say that people are until you look at the facts.
So there you go.
Jack.
Uh, thank you, Jeremy.
And also thank you, you crazy looking guy.
He was complimenting you.
I think you're all really handsome.
I don't know if this is just audio or it's visual,
but you're all really handsome.
So you got that going for you.
And that's nice as they say in catty shock, but you really got to up your game on your
foes.
Yes, agreed.
Agreed.
Thank you, sir.
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Don't let me TARD.
I heard the hotel industry is moving away from providing shampoo and soap.
Oh, don't get me started on them.
Yeah.
Do not get me started on hotels.
Oh, guys, what they do?
Right. What they take from me, I feel like I'm entitled to take something from
them. Thank you, Bill. They're going to take something from them. That is the ability.
They're gonna throw away the shampoo.
They're gonna throw away the soap.
I'm not even talking about that.
I'm talking about the sheets and I'm talking about the towels.
Still gots.
Oh, we really care about the environment.
So please, hang up your towels and get out of here.
You just don't want to wash these towels because it's going to cost you money to wash
these towels.
All right, this whole thing about you're saving the whales or you're saving the turtles
or whatever because I put my towel on a hanger.
It is so full of it. All right, you just don't want to give me
fresh towels every day. Just call it what it is. Tell me you don't want to give me fresh towels.
I'm still gonna throw it on the floor. All right, I feel like water is a renewable resource.
And you're not really saving the ocean by using water to clean my towel. Are you? Am I missing something?
What am I missing? Am I missing something? The end of the story. This is the Don Lebatar show with his two guts.
Dan and David Simpson play, would you attend the funeral?
Hey Chris, before we start I got one for you that you're not going to believe.
Give me someone slid into my DMs, not the type of slide that you want.
And he is a mortuary guy from Wisconsin.
And for a living, he makes dead bodies look the way they look for open casket
non Jewish funerals.
And he sent a video about you and your dad and me and the funeral game we play.
And he said, listen, I know you don't know me. about you and your dad and me and the funeral game we play.
And he said, listen, I know you don't know me.
I'm a big fan of nothing personal and levitar show.
And I would like it if the Cody family would hire me
to make Greg look good when he's in the casket.
Oh my God.
This is an actual video because when everyone goes to the funeral because everyone will go to his funeral
No matter where it is when it is where it's located. I'm the guy who will make him look the best he can look
So would you mind telling Chris that?
So how much how much you know, so funny you ask that
There's an act now special.
I said listen.
Lock it in right now.
I'm there.
What is it?
I said I would pass along the information.
So it's some guy in Wisconsin who dresses up dead bodies.
I don't know why Greg would be buried in Wisconsin.
Do you have family there?
No.
Okay.
It is everyone's new favorite game.
The premiere was
Unreal the feedback incredible. It is time to play
Would you attend their funeral as always? I am your host Mike Ryan Ruiz
I am joined by Dan Levitard and David Simpson our contestants the game is pretty easy
I throw out a name and I find out whether the contestant would attend their funeral.
That's pretty it.
It is dark, but isn't this music happy?
First up on today's edition of Would You Attend Their Funeral Dan Levitard.
Dan, first off how you doing today?
That's me, too.
It says here you're a sports writer from Miami.
That's a fun job, isn't it?
Avid River Ractor. here you're a sports writer from Miami that's a that's a fun job isn't it avid river rafter then he actually did write something recently that was
pretty good dad thank you David and a second tan would you attend
michaulams funeral wow
Detroit too probably yeah it's why this game is you're you're allowed one follow-up and if I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. And it's unfair that Mike knows me this way. That's like a no. Because he's, no, he's just picking people who are like,
right on the line of where it is.
That's the point of the game.
That's the beauty of the game.
That's the point of the game.
You've got to pick these people well as my poor.
You make a fool.
Ricky Williams wouldn't be,
I know.
He's not making it easy to say yes or no,
but the answer to your question is yes, I would.
I very much, I very much admire Mitch Alvin.
I'm sorry, that's an incorrect answer. We had it as you would have
Moving over to David Samson David it says here you're a former team president of a major league baseball team
That actually won a world series that must have been fun
It didn't suck. All right. You're question
Rikina lasco. Oh wow
Would you attend? Wow?
Rikina lasco. Oh wow Would you attend? Wow Rikina lasco's funeral
That is a tough one man
So rikina lasco he will listen into this too by the way
He will give you a four four and a half five year a for 15 years of throwing slop balls up there true
It didn't you know he was much better than that.
To give you a totally incorrect.
Not at the end he wasn't.
The last, well, the only time leaders in more than two three.
No, but like the last seven years,
the average, not true.
I gotta go look it up.
You had him having seven bad years as a Marlin?
No, I have him having seven years at the end
of his career, whereas ERA is between four and a half and five.
Between four and a half. five, between four and five.
That's good.
That's good.
I'm sorry, pictures.
No, it's visually baseball.
Well, no, now.
That's right.
Yeah, it's mid five's mid sixes the last six or seven years.
Yeah, David, I'm looking at it.
Yeah.
He was mid sixes the last seven years of his career.
I said mid five's mid sixes last.
Yeah.
I'm sure I have to say that.
Seven years.
But, Pete, you know, I was funeral.
Pete, by the curtain, this question was almost for Dan, given that they were neighbors at one point. last yeah
Peak buying the curtain this question was almost for Dan given that they were neighbors at one point But David would you attend ricking the last goes funeral? Yes
Is that one is that one of the ones where you have to text around like you're texting Larry
Bindfest and Mike Hill to see if they're going and if they're not you're like I think I'm good
They're going and if they're not you're like I think I'm good
Now if it's like a mass accident where there's multiple players like that who have died at once
All go to all there was a mass killing in former Marlon, you guys are fat. What are you doing? I'm a mass killing just an accident. Samson, we talked about this.
You have all the former Marlon
pictures of a band together?
I mean,
Yeah, you never know.
We actually have a book in place
about what to do in case of a major accident.
There's a system,
every team in Major League Baseball has to have that
about what you do.
This took a dark turn.
Yeah, I mean, the game,
and itself is a dark turn.
No, my point is that we were already in a dark room and now we walked into another corner of the dark turn. I mean the game itself is a dark turn. My point is that we were
already in a dark room and now we walked into another corner of the dark room.
Now you've got how do you handle if several of your friends die in a terrible
accident at the same time, totally different game show. Dan second question for
you. Would you attend Joy Taylor's funeral? Oh wow., wow. He's gonna lie again.
What do you mean lie again?
You're not going to Mitch Album's funeral then?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I drove my mother three hours to go see Mitch Album one time publicly speaking.
Why would you say that?
Would you drive that life for three hours to see his casket?
I'm not your mom wanted to see it.
I'm not saying I'd have to do with anything.
Mitch Album's a mentor of mine.
He was doing all of this before we were doing it.
Guys, he's establishing his bona fides.
Just see.
You hear I on the ball.
If Joy Taylor croaks, are you attending the funeral?
Yes, I'm going to that funeral.
Right, that's another chance.
Esperational at best and aspirational at best.
So far, we're attending everybody's funeral. It's right
David Samson would you attend rich waltz's funeral?
No
Markably quick now I
We're trying to get rolling into the next round.
I appreciate it.
You're winning this game just based off of...
I'm in a moment's consideration.
Not a moment's consideration.
Not a second.
Not a second.
Fair is not for which winning?
This is the most arbitrary rating system since Tony reality.
Well, he's telling the truth.
I'm not afraid to be honest.
Dan, would you attend Rick Telendir's funeral? Oh, wow
Salander what a big boy. It's like I gotta work in a nose sometime
You do have to establish a line here dead. I mean otherwise you're attending everyone
He's a talenter lines to God
I know that you're an expert at everything you arrive at but I played this game last week
I gave the nose that made the game-
But right now you lose the game.
I understand how the game is funny and I also understand how to win.
Yeah.
But Mike is putting this on a line that is making my answers have to be considered.
Uh-huh.
Oh, my god.
Jeez, David, are you seeing how long this guy's taken?
It's ridiculous.
Let's say we're all going to be dead by the time this is this.
Okay, you don't go to that many funerals, Dan.
It just doesn't work.
All right, well, you listen to me, Samson.
My list, my part of the, you handle your part of the game show.
I'll handle mine.
Okay, you're taking two damn.
Rick Talender.
All right, just give me a second.
Rick Tal just because this is a reason, there's a reason for this.
Rick Talender.
We get it. I'm a very good host at this very difficult questions. Would you attend Rick Talindor's funeral?
Let me preface this by saying Rick Talindor is an inspiration. I would not attend this
There we go. It's tied down I'm legit. I'm legit. I'm legit.
You have to apologize to me now.
I'm gonna call them afterward and explain this to you.
Dave Hyde texted me after last week's show, by the way.
Wow, pick that name up.
David Changlin.
I'm slightly concerned at the fact that people would or would not be attending his funeral
and he would point out for clarity purposes that he would not be attending mine.
Mike, at the risk of making the game too long, do you want to explain to the national audience
who some of these people are?
Joy Taylor is calling Cowards Coast.
There's a relationship there because she hosted locally.
Also happens to be Jason Taylor sibling.
Rick Talender, it was a Chicago sports writer that would join our show often,
Mitch Album, I'm not really sure what he does.
It's an author.
Is that so?
Yeah.
I'll check him out, maybe.
Yeah.
Rick and Alaska would hang curve balls like a devil.
David, would you attend Javier Vazquez's funeral?
Wow.
No.
That was quick.
Not a quick no, you're winning this game today. Roger today because that's a schlep to Puerto Rico right there.
Mm-hmm.
And I have a Puerto Rico.
I've got to go to Tony Perez's in Puerto Rico.
So there's only so many times I'm going to go to few rules there.
David, do you think Ricky, Alaska would attend your funeral?
No.
David, how long is your list?
Like you said last week, the way that this game, the origins of it are you were talking
to your friends and you have a list.
So how long is your list?
Basically, Mike is just either the name's Mike is offering or on your list or they're
not already.
You've made these decisions.
Correct.
How long is your list?
Now, keep in mind, as we talked about last week and it's worth repeating, all the answers
we give on this show, the caveat is always the circumstance, right?
It's the timing and the circumstance and around the death.
That has an impact on whether or not
like if Rick and Alasko were in Miami and I was there
and I was with him and he passed away
and he wasn't married at the time,
I would stay in Miami and go to the funeral.
I wouldn't fly to California, that's all. So yes, my list is already done as I think
everybody's is, but maybe just people don't admit it.
Dan, would you attend Michael K's funeral?
Man, that's a tough one.
Oh. God, I talked to him quite a bit. Uh, no, no, I would not.
You got some calls to make today, my friend.
A apology to her.
David, would you attend former Marlon's public relations
may have been Matt Robux funeral? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I like him a lot, but I would not. I would send a note though. That's nice.
No, that doesn't mean you can't read it.
I mean, I mean, I would send a note.
That is a great joke, Mr. Guy.
Thank you, thank you.
I would send a note.
I mean, it's the bare minimum.
Maybe some bagels to the Shiva. Okay, that is good stuff. I did you guys
I mean
Dan would you attend Randy Scots funeral? Oh
Come on man
I'll represent for you Dan. I'll go I'd go
Everybody would go but this question's for Dan. You'd go without me.
Oh, no!
Wow!
Oh, Randall!
What about Dan?
When you do this, you could have people who work for you as your representatives, and that counts
as going.
Like when the press...
Like when the press...
They're going on your behalf.
I understand, but none of... If I sensed you got something on my behalf, what do you think that would show up. They're going on your behalf. I understand, but
none of that. If I sensed you got something my behalf, what do you think that that would
end up with his plane ticket on ebit? I'd sell tickets to Brandy's God. No, you would you
would you're playing ticket. You would sell it. And the expense and not go. That's correct.
I like ready. David, would you attend on a fierce funeral
now
who quick knows how to elaborate
ahead of the players union
for a head
there be no
there be no reason to go to his funeral
jeez dam that's called
dan jimmy pataro
holy bleep I would save be careful. Yeah, yeah, you got to give an honest answer here
Be careful gotta keep your options open
I would not what's oh no for sure that was an easy no Mike
easy no that's gonna do it for this week's edition would you attend their
funeral