The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Being Fat and Not Getting Hard
Episode Date: November 9, 2023We kick off the Big Suey with more Tyler Van Dyke talk and whether college players can "not have it," how much coaching has to do with college player success, and more. Then, the Cesta Cyclones are BA...CK, no one can protect their Quarterback, Al Michaels may hate Kirk Herbstreit, and Arthur Smith and Fred Smith are getting doxed. Plus, comedian Stavros Halkias is in Florida this week and introduces us to "Ronnie the Ravens fan" and discusses the highlights of his career. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
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And when it comes to McDonald's, his thing is finding the exact right moment to steal
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Quality, it's a McDonald's thing.
Shocking.
Welcome to the big sui!
Presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
that if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching band to nowhere,
that face and the habitual liar.
Look, sometimes a college player just doesn't have it.
They're not all going to be great.
That is what I think is great about the sport
is that there's such a wide array of talents on display.
But I also think that it's fair when you see a player
go from ACC accolades to potentially getting benched
the rest of the season.
I don't know if he's going to play this weekend
against Florida State after the performance against NC State,
especially when you have all their quarterbacks that have come
in in one games for Miami this season.
I think it's fair to wonder what the coaching staff has done
for him.
And like Jeremy said, when you're on a team
that has had changed year after year at that offensive coordinator position, which
is very important for a quarterback, it's fair to wonder if it's not all entirely this
guy's fault. So, I mean, saying like there's tape out there and everyone knows how to cover
him, like you could say the same about every player on every team. After you play more
games, yeah, you find more ways to beat them. And it's up to the coaching staff to determine if there is a way to work around that. Maybe
there isn't. Maybe he just doesn't have it. But I think that it's fair to question all
of the angles. Can we examine though the professionalization of all of this? Because
it's up to me. It's the most important, that to me, it's the most interesting part of
it. We've made in Kevin Durant, a creature of the social media age, a superstar
who seems to be part troll and bitterd, less happy than maybe he could be because he comes from
a generation that was addicted to the devices. And now he's 34 and he's an old guy. Now we're raising
kids on the professionalization of all this stuff that is cruel in the way
that we analyze it because we can be cruel in our fandom and we can rationalize away all
sorts of bad behavior because we're emotional, we're mad, Tyler Van Dyke, you suck, Tyler
Van Dyke, you suck.
You're like, why does my quarterback suck?
And whatever that is that is happening to a 21 year old that is
different than a 32 year old, I'm just, I really am wondering the mental toll that it takes.
I'm like, why wouldn't Caleb Williams be sobbing on the sidelines? It seems like a lot of
pressure to put on young people. Like we do it to young tennis players. We do it to children
in gymnastics. So we do it, but I'm legitimately thinking,
I felt bad when I left the show the other day.
I felt bad about how I talked about a college kid
because he played poorly.
And I don't know what to do with that feeling
because it hasn't existed for me before.
I think it's fair to criticize these players.
That's what we're supposed to do
as people that cover the sport. It's fair to be critical of how they's what we're supposed to do as people that cover the sport.
It's fair to be critical of how they play.
I think there's a line though.
And I myself try not to cross line.
Sure, I do sometimes.
No one's perfect.
But I try not to cross that line
where it becomes not critical
and just cruel or mean spirited.
Name calling.
Name calling.
Those are things that I think I've seen a lot of
with coverage of players in college football that I'm like
Like I can see how if you're a fellow college student like maybe you engage in that
But then like once you're an adult like it just like that's weird. Don't don't do that
Yeah, there's a difference in the way that I talk about Marcus smart who stinks in Tyler van Dyke
There's a huge difference in how I do it and it's just matter, matter of fact, Lee is not performing well, struggles against his own.
That's what you're seeing out there.
I think the coaching staff has given him chance after chance.
The reason why he has a new OC this year,
you are arguing for Josh Gattis?
I don't understand, like we all thought,
the problems.
Depends as you know the signs or not.
Well, have you, I've reverse engineered
Connor Salians being to blame for us being a year behind schedule.
Because he made Josh Gattis look good. I've already, I'm here for the conspiracy. reverse engineered, Connor Salian's being to blame for us being a year behind schedule.
Because he made Josh Gattis look good.
I'm here for the conspiracy.
In my mind, like, Josh Gattis got a royals award.
And trick you into thinking the royals award was a significant competitive advantage.
So whenever I'm critical of Connor Salian's, just know I blame him for last year's off
end.
Okay.
Maybe my Emmy was signed stealing with many deas and they just haven't kept signed stealing.
It's, to me, it's not overly complicated.
If you're watching the games and the nature of his
interceptions, I understand from the outside,
like, what's going on there?
He used to be really good.
He had a streak that we've only seen Joe Burrow replicate
in this sport.
And that was two years ago.
How is he getting worse every year?
Surely it's got to be the coaching staff
because me, national voice, I don't respect Mario Christobal
as a head coach. I don't respect these offensive coordinators. Surely it's their fault.
I love this character, but that national voice, me, national voice because I mean, I
think that Mario Christobal's job, we know he's not this tactical genius, right? We, it's his job to put the right coaches around the talent
and true surround Tyler Van Dyke with talent.
He fixed an offensive line in a year.
He is super protected to the point that Tyler Van Dyke
a month into the season was the nation's
highest rank pro football focus quarterback.
Remember, we were throwing parades.
We have two and we have Tyler Van Dyke,
quarterback central over here.
He has a running back in Mark Fletcher that is now healthy.
We're gonna have five yards of clip.
Say what you will about the wide receivers.
Lord knows they try to upgrade over the off season.
They're better than last year.
What's the issue?
What's the issue?
It's what Tyler Van Dyke is running into more and more.
Are you hopeful this weekend or are you lacking optimism?
I think the quarterback has been the biggest issue since Georgia Tech facing this team.
And I think if they had more from that position, they'd be winning a lot more games this
year. Now is the answer a true freshman quarterback in Emory Williams. I'd like to trust him
a hell of a lot more than we did against Clemson. Though I rate Clemson's defense more than I rate Florida States.
It starts on the road.
That's a tough start for a young guy.
I mean, man.
And the argument for Tyler, by the way, and I do know some of that building are pounding
the table for Tyler because of the veterans, Abby, because they think he has a better grasp
of the offense.
What have you?
And Florida State plays man coverage for them to go zone.
Although that doesn't take
a genius, players can figure it out and they're malleable. They can drop in his own coverage,
too, but their identity defensively is man coverage. Tyler does pretty well with that.
And if you're going to blitz them, even better. Tyler does some really good things. He just
struggles against something that's pretty basic. And it's pretty inexplicable.
Chris Cody, I have been negligent.
I've been negligent for some reason.
And I don't want you to sing again.
I do appreciate your, it's why you're the master producer
that you are and it's why you are belining it
for the executive producer chair that Mike Ryan will someday
vacate even though we will always pull him back in.
It's because you know that Dan is talking, uh,
yammering too much about politics.
How about I put my fist on my hip and try to sing to see if I get the
shrill back and look at you did.
I salute you, although we did detour into Tyler Van Dyke land,
but Carlos, the thing that I didn't get a chance to talk about it any
point this week that I know you guys, you and Mike Ryan.
I believe this is the only business partnership, although Tony is trying to negotiate with
Billy.
We don't have a lot of business partnerships here, but you and Mike Ryan own a highlight
team, a highlight team that we talked very little about last year because you guys were
last place awful after winning the championship.
We talked about it too much for one year. Didn't talk about it at all second year, but you were just with Roger Stone and
you're Donnis Haslam and Ray Lewis as you guys really unfair what you're doing there as you bring
back highlights. I hate all of this right now where you're not with Roger Stone. You didn't
tell you wanted to talk about highlight all the time last year. We're actually good this year
and you're refusing to talk about it and just because Roger Stone just so happen
to be there every Friday you're blaming us for Roger Stone.
What?
He's been there not my call.
Roger Stone is there.
He's there in a suit.
You don't as has was there.
It just loves a great sport of highlight and you know what I guess we're a big unifying
force.
Who can blame them?
The clones are surging if that's what you're asking.
Thank you.
It's not what I was at.
A good time to be a clone.
But you guys are very excited because you beat Jorge Mossvedall's team the other day
swept them.
Run right off the court, six straight games, and no one's allowed you to talk about it.
And this is ostensibly still local hour remnants.
So go ahead, have at it.
The floor is your, the co- owners of the Cestocyclones that
have gone on a hot streak this year and are winning again, the pear shaped manoeu, who
is, it looks like a bit like George Neang in body type. He is again playing well. He's
playing well, but the stars are at the, the depth is where the difference we last year
in this year. Bueno, Ekaida in our four, five slot, crushing it.
Those guys, I mean, they're doing what they need to do.
Bueno has turned the page.
We struggled early in this season when Bueno wasn't playing well,
but Bueno's got his shit together,
and the team is just jelling.
Nobody vibes, they're making tick talks together.
Nobody is vibing like the Cessna cyclones right now.
Presently top of the table, if you look at possible points
remaining, especially considering things
for the help wall warriors
You don't this is rebote renegades and us are probably going to be battling for that top spot
And it's big and high line battle court to get that top seed because you get the buy into the finals
We're looking like a true playoff team right now. You can watch tomorrow nights game on ESPN 3 if you can't be there in
Person at magic city like Roger Stone might be
be in three if you can't be there in person at Magic City like Roger Stone might be to watch your success at Cyclone's play.
And remember if you're going out there, you're indirectly supporting Ron McGill's conservation
fund because if you say that you're there for him, $10 ahead goes to that foundation.
Ron McGill, I know we'll be out there on Friday.
I unfortunately am going to be in the Poe Dunc Town of Tallahassee.
So I'm going gonna miss this one.
But Chris Cody's gonna bring the energy out there.
Clone Cartel in full force.
Shout out also, Jettin, shifting to the back court.
I mean, it's just been a game changer.
He's, he went from being like in front court guy.
He was like around average.
He's stepped a shit up.
Mike Fuentes just, from the other room,
wrote that in a green marker on a piece of paper,
walked over here and put it up against a window for Chris Cody to remember. And I just think
that's great producing. That is good producing. So is Roger Stone like, is he like in the owner's
box with you guys? No, not in our suite. No, no, no, no, the time that he was there, he was just in
G.A. Isn't it one big, but we have like our couches are kind of lock off our area. I mean, he will be in Genpop.
I heard that someone asked to see his Nixon tattoo.
No, you're making that up. Stop it.
Stop it.
Accusing Dan of life.
Look, highlight is what's happening here.
No one, no one asked him.
No one asked him to see his Richard Nixon tattoo.
You just wanted to shoehorn that thing in there for the second time.
You don't have to ask.
He'll just show it.
I didn't even know you weren't at the game. You don't have to ask. He'll just show it. I didn't even know.
You weren't at the game.
You don't know.
You haven't been in a game all season, Dan Levitard.
How about you turn up on Friday and ask to see Rob Stonet?
I went last year and all you guys did was lose.
Well, we're good this year.
Come on out.
I think there's the Roger Stone tattoo.
What guy does not skip back to the PT doves.
Tries looking good too.
Oh, it go. I really thought you guys had ruined it because you owned the,
you owned the team.
Guys, we had an off year last year.
You know, we had some injuries and credit to Chris Cody, Mike Fuentes,
and me calling in at 3 a.m. from Greece.
We drafted a good team this year.
It's a tough spot to be when you come in second place.
If you lose in the championship, the placement
that you get in the draft, it is just a difficult spot
to draft from.
And that's what happened to us.
You can't just sleep here.
You're parry.
So it's just, I would say it's basically impossible to win
from if you lose in the championship the previous year.
That's the way they've set up the league.
And if the league continues to expand,
thanks to the great leadership of Pitbull, we're
probably going to be in a tough position next year again, ebbs and flows when it comes
to the sport of battle court. I did not know that you were going to
Tallahassee. I believe the last time you went was sad, right?
The last time I went to Tallahassee was probably the last road game that I saw Miami win.
It was 2017. Darryl Langham, Malik Rozier to Darryl Langham.
Miami's a aquarium touchdown!
In the rain!
I've never experienced a game quite like that
where I couldn't feel my hands
and I was just stunned by the fact that we had actually won
because that broke a pretty substantial streak
for FSU in this rivalry.
A lot of heartbreaking losses for Miami.
So I just stayed there, stunned.
They forced us out of this stadium because I barely moved.
I'm open for something similar.
I'm not too hopeful.
FSU is really good at this here, respect to them.
You're gonna have your face painted.
I'm on the 14 and a half face painted.
Carlos.
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the national title.
It sounds like this.
Oh, there's a stepping jacket running down the sidelines.
That's easy.
It's the audio.
That's not easy.
Yeah.
And there's a wall-ball, too, veteran pitching into another white guy and he avoids another
white guy.
Oh my god, another name.
The fighting Irish have done it again for the eighth time. I avoids another white guy. Oh my god. Not a name the fighting hyrus have done it again for the
White people
Sorry
He's black
Sorry
I'm in proven here
Running down the side. He smells it differently.
All right, his name is Chubby.
Maybe you didn't hear me correctly.
His name is Chubby Chakas.
Is an S at the end.
And it's, I feel like that should be the largest of five.
Yeah, Chubby Chakas.
And Chubby Chakas, it sounds like a college football name.
This is the Dalabataars show with Estoult Guadts.
I pride myself on being or trying to be authentic, transparent, owner. A man of faith.
David.
The reason that I bring it up is because as I was reading Al Michaels talking about aging being 78 years old, coming back next year,
and was thinking about how I've been hiding for two years, hiding in plain sight for two years on
stuff going on in my personal life, and in doing so, I very much felt the weight of mortality
So I very much felt the weight of mortality and felt the weight of aging and
Out Michaels is 78 that's a hard job whether people know it or not There's a reason that those people do that one assignment a week
I don't think most people think that's very hard. I think they think that's how great a job
That is give me that job 17 weeks a season. I do one game a week
What's so hard about that? is give me that job. 17 weeks a season, I do one game a week.
What's so hard about that?
Al Michaels has been doing it for a long time.
And now he says it's fair, the criticism
that on the Amazon Prime games,
and I really, I continue to marvel
that Amazon Prime hasn't had major glitches.
These are giant productions.
It's really hard.
If all these games that get on your televisions every week, it's really hard. If all these games that get on your televisions every week,
it's really hard to get all that.
There's a great deal of expense
in getting all of that off the ground.
Al Michael sits atop of that entire kingdom.
And when Amazon Prime, when the Bezos money came
for the football dollars,
they went and got the best there ever was.
They went and got the name that would give them
instant credibility and made all the salary skyrocket and broadcasting.
Al Michaels must be feeling his age.
Al Michaels says it's fair to criticize that he doesn't sound enthusiastic for the games on Thursday night.
But how the hell can he feel enthusiastic for what's going to be on your television or not on your television if you're just streaming on your devices?
About what's going on tonight? Who wants to watch a Chicago Bears game at the end? on your television or not on your television if you're just streaming on your devices.
About what's going on tonight?
Who wants to watch a Chicago Bears game at the point?
Really?
No.
Never.
I mean, last week was Titan Steelers.
I mean, this has been good.
That one I was actually.
Little Levis has a damn arena.
Put it to saying, like the name power?
No.
I think that was a bad example.
You think Titan Steelers is a great game?
No, it wasn't a great game. We got to see Will Levis beat Damirino for three seconds.
Steelers defense is really good. TJ Watt exciting. Yeah, they've got, they've got
good players there. I will, that's my bias also showing. I will say Panthers Bears as long
as no Chicago legends die before the game. It's going to be a stinker.
It's our second Thursday. They've been bears this year. We had bears commanders earlier this is the first one of the season.
That was an exciting game though. DJ Moore had like 200 yards.
Like everybody look good. Sam Howe look good.
Well, back then, you thought that they had a quarterback, a young quarterback,
and all of a sudden the place that we find ourselves is that 46 quarterbacks have started this year.
46 like this, this part's always funny to me
and our weekly analysis of sports.
Like 46 starting quarterbacks.
That's a lot of injuries.
We're halfway through the season.
That's the position that's protected.
That's the position that all the rules protect that position.
In fact, when any of you complaining about flag football
and maybe that's what our Michaels longs for up there, this boring, give me my tackle football.
When Ronnie lot would cut off a finger and everyone would celebrate him because he got
his ass back on the field.
What he's watching is a diluted version meant to protect the quarterback.
The quarterback who can't be protected because the Vikings on their third string quarterback
and it gets them to four and four.
Congratulations.
My favorite take when it comes to the Thursday night football,
which has been going, how long has Thursday night football been going on?
We're going on like close to 15 years.
That Thursday night football has been a thing.
I feel like my whole life, there's been Thursday night football.
I don't remember when I was four it was.
You're also very young.
I'm 16.
Yeah, but what do you want them to do?
They have to because it's a competitive advantage.
Everybody has to show up for at least one Thursday night.
They actually do you the service of,
well, if it's going to be a bad team
that we're putting on there,
let's have them go up against another bad team
so the game can maybe be competitive.
As opposed to having the Carolina Panthers
go up against a Philadelphia Eagles and that
game being over midway through the second quarter.
What would you like them to do about this?
They have to take the bears.
They have to take the Panthers.
Why not put them together and have a good old-fashioned slop off?
Al Michaels can't have enthusiasm for that at this point in his career.
I mean, I understand isolating this game.
Sure. I'll meet you there. I mean, I understand isolating this game. Sure.
I'll meet you there.
I'll meet you there.
But he was also bad during the charger's
Jags playoff game.
Thank you.
Next week is the test.
Bangles at Ravens.
It's a great game.
That's a good game.
Let's all tune in.
And then we can decide.
I think part of the part of the criticism was when he was put on
NBC's playoff coverage where there was a pretty great
comeback with a young, exciting quarterback and exciting circumstances surrounding that
Chargers Jags game. He was there paired with Tony Dungee and they weren't excited about that either.
So he's actually given voice to your criticisms valid. He's 78 years old. Of course,
he's coming back next year. The guys in year three of a three year contract
that pays them $33 million.
And that might be the last we see of Al Michaels
calling NFL football.
It's been a great career.
He's a legend.
The game's on Amazon.
Give him a goddamn break.
I don't think he likes Herbie.
I'm gonna say it.
I don't think he likes Herbie.
I think he misses Chris Collinsworth.
Wow.
Those are two different things though.
You, he can miss Chris Collins worth and like her,
but you're accusing, put it on the poll please,
dude, you're at Lebitard show.
Does how Michael's dislike herbie?
That's more taking his frustrations
for not having Collins worth out on herbie,
or is this he doesn't like herbie's personality?
He doesn't see her B as an NFL guy.
He sees her B as a college guy and he's like, you're coming over here to the NFL side.
You don't belong here.
Not our guy here, right?
We're NFL people.
You're a college football guy.
Don't come over here and think that you know, you know, like Brian Burns or like somebody
who's who's in the cut right now.
Don't do that.
I actually kind of like this take what just happened.
I was trying to think of Frankie Louvoo, which is like another defender for the Panthers and then Brian
Burns came out. Why don't you think that herbie knows more about Brian Burns? I would say
so I think maybe how Michael's is just like a big green new deal guy and he's like this
guy's taking his private jet from NFL games to college game day to college games. And he
doesn't stand for it. I don't think people... He cares a lot.
I don't think people understand just how much
Herb Street is working right now.
He tweets every week like a little graphic
of like his plane traveling across the country.
It is a bit startling, is it not that we can't find
a second person to do that job that Herb Street has to do
both of them that in a worldwide,
in a global pool of applicants.
I don't not say that Herb would be considered evidently so good at this
as to be totally vital, more vital than our environment
by flying private back and forth.
Remember the Akim Tileb show?
Oh God, not again.
That worked out.
Put it on the poll, please, at Levitard show,
is herbie more important than our environment?
I'm just asking, this wasn't even about
whether we need another black broadcaster
and there I'm saying just someone who's not herbie.
We don't have another person who's just not herbie.
Herbie's not the issue with it.
The issue with Thursday and football's the same issue
that it's always been.
The games aren't great.
Why are you taking issue with any of what I'm saying?
I'm simply wondering why it is
that two of the most coveted jobs in the world
in sports go to the same person.
Are they, is it because he's that excellent and popular?
Yeah, yes.
Don't worry, it'll be Jason Kelsey whenever he retires.
Hi, what about Jason Garrett?
Oh, yeah.
Jason Garrett on TV is electric, by the way.
What?
I watch him and I'm like, dude, this guy gets it.
And when he turns and he's like, it's so good.
The history of television is littered with one white guy that's straight, hogging all
the jobs.
Did he back to Ryan C. Cresson?
Dick Clark.
Yeah.
We like them.
They're safe.
What did you just do, Tony?
I smiled into the camera. So like, let's say Tony Dunjie's talking and Jason Garrett's looking at him
All of a sudden hold on hold on let me make sure that everyone in our control room is right on you because what you just did
Is the mastery of the mannequin that is Jason Garrett what you're telling me is you're watching Jason Garrett
Just for his performative love making to the camera. because what he says is nothing he says nothing i have never heard him say anything no but he's got a
smile that sparkles when he turns to the camera and makes love to it so here's
the thing i'm gonna do a play by play here for the uh... the studio team so let's
say Chris is Tony dungee he's talking we're talking then they go to a one
shot on him and then they go like this jason garrot swings over to the other
camera look at those and just stays there looking at the camera.
Tony's still talking.
He's there like, never breaks eye contact with the camera.
Just smile or smile contact.
No, but doesn't break smile contact either.
Keeps the teeth, those cowboy teeth glistening.
There are so many cowboys on television.
How do they have all the good broadcasting shots?
Jason would be like, what the?
Come on.
And while they gave Jason Witten a chance,
it's not like, man, he got the chance before Olsen did.
All he had to do was be good.
It's terrible.
It's terrible.
He was just witten.
But wrap it out of somebody's head.
Why were you guys talking about Arthur Smith,
the Mustachea coach at Lanta Falcon?
Is that why you were talking about him?
No, but he shaved his mustache. It's like the biggest news of the week. I cannot believe
it took us long to get to it. He shaved his mustache. And I think he did it to show the
world that he's getting serious now. He's going to start playing the good players.
I think he did it because he wants to disguise himself because what started happening is,
for those who don't know, Arthur Smith is the son of FedEx founder, Fred Smith.
And fantasy football Twitter has started to essentially docks Fred and Arthur Smith.
And I think it's because Arthur Smith is just not utilized, Bejohn Robinson, the way that
everyone wished that he would for fantasy football
purposes.
He's not getting the touches everyone wants, but now it's hilarious because the internet
is essentially going after him and his father as like son of billionaire and really trying
to rip him to shreds going through his dad's Wikipedia page and trying to like essentially
accuse him of murder.
It's really, it's really, it's really, wait, wait, wait, that escalates too.
Yeah.
FedEx Fred. FedEx Fred has been accused of murder it's really it's really well wait wait wait that escalates yeah that's Fred yeah that's Fred
that's Fred has been accused of murder
well there was a there's a specific thing on his uh
we could be in a cage that says forgery and
indictment and car crash hold on a second i gotta do hold on
time to throw away all your
analistic credibility and get reckless
here is something we like to call
reckless speculation you're good. Via Wikipedia, the same evening of Fred Smith's forgery indictment, he was involved in a fatal
hit and run in which he killed a 54-year-old handyman named George Sturge Hill.
He was arrested and charged with leaving the scene of a crash and driving with an expired
license.
The Hiccular man slaughter.
Released on a $250 bond.
She.
All charges later dismissed.
Not the first time he was involved in a fatal car crash, by the way.
But FedEx, Fred and his son are getting docs because they're not using B. Jean Robinson
in the red zone.
Yeah, that's right.
At all, really.
Well, when you say at all, they have really used them at all.
You know what?
I was like, gonna be again,
just doxing for a second there.
But when you're like at all,
what do you mean you're not using
B-John Robinson at all?
I mean, they're not throwing to them at all.
Not doing anything.
They're handing the ball off.
I see court there,
all patterns are running on the sidelines.
Are we good?
We know.
No, not PBR.
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Don Lebertard!
If all the rain drops were lemon drops and gun drops
Oh what a rain that would be. Stoo got standing outside with my mouth open wide. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A and then let's go to the next show with this two
guys.
He's a comedian.
He's a pod cast.
He's blowing up.
He's gotten very popular.
Just did a show.
Did many shows in Baltimore with
thousands of people.
He's got a new Netflix special
fat rascal.
It is December 5th when it premieres and also he's
going to be playing Florida this
week tonight. Hard Rock Live
in Orlando, Tampa tomorrow
night and Broward Center for
performing arts in Fort
Lauderdale this Saturday.
Stavros Halkius with us. Thank
you for being here, Stav. You
are the craziest national voice
that I associate with the Ravens. I don't. I're the craziest national voice that I associate
with the Ravens.
I don't, I don't.
There is that white guy that's in his attic
that just breaks shit every time that they've-
That's awesome.
Yeah, I love that guy.
That guy really is, that's what you wanna know
about white Baltimore.
That's it right there.
That's what it feels like.
Just no uncontrolled anger issues.
We haven't even thought about going to therapy,
and the Ravens dictate how that week
is gonna go for them,
and for everyone they come in contact with.
So that guy is more of like,
that guy's more representative than me.
I'm kinda doing a take on a muted version of that guy,
but yes, somehow I have accidentally ended up
as like the premier Ravens fan on the internet.
I'm not sure that you're going to find a whole lot funnier as a comedian than just the
insanity of sports fandom.
Correct.
Absolutely.
It's just one of the dumbest and best things.
It's awesome.
And yeah, it's like, I'm making fun of this guy, right?
Like I do a character that's an over the top Baltimore guy who, you know, who, like I said, his week comes and goes as the Ravens goes, so does
his emotional state.
This is Ron.
And as much as I am mocking that guy, that is exactly how I also feel.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like I'm barely making fun of anything.
And in fact, when the Ravens, when they win, you know, I'm writing jokes, I'm trying to like come
up with fun little things. When they lose, I will do that video in one take and have to
try and not use my real voice. Those are my actual thoughts when I'm calling for you.
Well, this is this is the beauty of it. This is it. Your your your method acting. You
you you are a person who's actually you're you're in
disguise, but you're not because you're playing a character, but you're not.
Of course.
And so I'd like to just talk to Ronnie if I could for a second about what would Ronnie
want to tell everybody about Lamar Jackson?
Just I got to imagine Ronnie's fuel is the national media, what the national media has
done with the assessments of Lamar Jackson.
Right.
Well, see that's okay.
I will tell you what Ronnie thinks, but you also have to keep in mind that Ronnie, okay,
you know what?
I'm just going to tell you right now.
I'm just going to go into it.
I won't even preface it.
I'll just let you know how it goes.
Oh my God.
Nice to be here on a lepethard show. Um, hope y'all's, hope y'all's quaking in the
in your boots because y'all got frogs over there with two, uh, and little Mikey would,
as, would as fricking, uh, fate over there. Okay. We're gonna destroy you on the 31st. It's gonna be
a whole bad year of Miami
because you don't wanna put the Ravens you.
Now as far as Lamar goes, you know,
first of all, when we first got him, I was thinking,
okay, this is cute and all, but the guy can't really,
you know, he's not a cerebral pocket passer like Joe Flacon.
Okay, I was thinking instead of that first round pick,
let's get Flackin' back in here.
Now, I gotta say, he has made me eat my words.
Okay, and so far, so good.
He must have been watching a lot of Flackin' tape,
a learning how to stay in a pocket,
be a true pocket passer.
Know this showboat flamboyant stuff over there,
running a ball. You got to stay in
a pocket, hit your receivers, baby. And he has been doing that. As a result, he is going
to do the M he is going to be the MVP. The Ravens are not losing the game. I have adjusted
our record. We are non-in-o. The Steelers was cheating and the Colts game was a fluke
that should not count against us. We are going for the first undefeated season of all Tom. That's all there is to it, Dan.
To be clear, Ronnie is not racist. He just really loves Joe Flacco because he deserves
to singhood in Baltimore. Well, first of all, Dan, I don't see color. That's number one.
And yes, what y'all are racist over there talking about. racism, he's not. I like statistics, okay?
And I look at statistics and I could tell you
that Joe Flacco is the greatest quarterback of all time
if you only look at his playoff run
and that's all this should matter, okay?
He ain't racist, I got a lot of black friends, okay?
One of my children is I think half black
or half panamanian or something like that.
I can't, I haven't really, I did not really check
and she's kind of a bitch to be honest with you.
Her mom is kind of a bitch.
So I'm not really, you know, she's trying to
garnish my wages at all those.
And so I am not about that shit anymore.
Cause of, but yeah, I ain't racist at all then and actually shame on you for even framing
race up when it comes to football.
Okay, we're just trying to have a good time, Dan.
Yeah, my bad.
Does apology accepted?
I don't need to talk to Ron anymore.
I've had, I feel like I've talked to him a lot in Baltimore, but you have more reasons to be obnoxious
now, correct?
Because you realize that your team is mauling people up front.
Lamar's playing a different game because your team has some of what Philadelphia has
where in the trenches, they're better than people.
Yeah, I mean, yes, so my, so that was Ronnie and I had to do the character justice.
I couldn't come here and pretend he wasn't racist just because we're on the, you know,
the biggest show. Ronnie has to be himself wherever he is. But yes, I, I am, I have always
been truly Lamar is the reason I'm back in the football because I had been a, you know,
I was kind of a little bit on the, you know, a little bit of the,
in that era right before Lamar got drafted. It's like, you know, the Kaepernick stuff is
going on. They're, they're not paying their, you know, the players are all, there's no health
insurance. I really, I was really on my Bernie shit back then. And I still am politically.
But it was like, it was the kind of shit where I was like, f***ing NFL. And I've always
been a bigger hoops guy. And then, and then I was just watching,**k the NFL. And I've always been a bigger hoops guy. And then I was just watching,
I remember the day I'm watching the draft
in the background just cause you know,
I'm still a sports fan,
I'm still doing chores or whatever.
And Lamar's falling and I'm like,
no, come on, we're not, this is crazy.
That guy's awesome, someone's gonna draft him.
And then my deepest fear was the, you know,
Bella check was gonna get him like,
oh great, this f**k piece of shit is set for two quarterbacks right afterwards
And then they pass on him and I'm like what the fuck and then once we once we drafted Lamar
I it was like John Wick when you know and he like gets his guns
He like gets the the cement he like it's a sledgehammer and get his guns out of the out of the garage
That was me getting my purple camo pants and I was like we're back baby
out of the garage. That was me getting my purple camo pants. And I was like, we're back, baby. Yes. And read Ray Lewis, Trent Diff. I'm about Sarah Goosa. It's back. We're winning super
bulls. And so me and Lamar is the entire reason I'm backing on the NFL. And he has turned
me into the like super fan. I was when I was in sixth grade. So yes, those narratives
are such bullshit. The guys I was getting pissed off when everybody's sucking Justin Herbert
off the last couple of years,
just because Lamar is injured,
everyone kept leaving him out
of the like top five conversations.
And this year's so beautiful
because when we have somebody that understands
how to use the guy and understands it,
you don't have to run like a, you know,
like a 1930s army offense
where there's eight running backs or whatever.
And it's not, it's not let the guy throw.
He's been out of control. He's been amazing.
And to your point, started going that tangent.
I just had to get on the record myself.
But yeah, to your point, a lot of that is our line is out of,
is incredible, not only offense, but like defense scene,
Gideby and Clowney, just be awesome for us to sick.
Even though it's weird, he's wearing 24, I still, that still kind of makes me mad,
but that's, it's cool.
Who's your favorite Raven ever?
If you, you can only pick.
I agree.
That's that read without question.
Yeah.
And it's not, it's not just because of how he played, right?
It was general style away from the field as well.
Just, yeah, yeah.
I'm not really a fan of what he did on the field.
I kind of like his post coaching career. It's kind of the most that that's what I've really
appreciated the most.
No, he's the man.
He was the best safety ever.
He was so cool.
And yeah, I don't know.
You know, there's other options.
Obviously, I could tell you the pros and cons of all them, but he was just, he was the
man.
As I mentioned before, you sold out six straight shows in Baltimore, your hometown.
What kind of emotional was that for you?
I mean, that was insane.
I don't, and it's honestly, it's crazy to think,
you know, I'm doing well.
I've been very lucky this year
where I'm selling pretty nice tickets everywhere I go,
but I would probably sell one of those
in every other place I'm at and then to do six.
And that's by the way, the lyric is like, it's the lyric opera house.
It's like, there's chandeliers places.
There's, you know, it was, it's bizarre for me to even be in there, I think.
Like, you know, it feel like I feel like I belong in like the side room of a bar with
like, you know, a Leonard Skinner cover band bleeding in through the walls.
Like, that's where I should be talking about not getting hard.
That's just, it's most of my comedy is being fat and not getting hard.
And my immigrant family, that's kind of, you roll, that you're going to get one of those
three is what most of my jokes are about.
And to be in this building where there's like, you know, ushers with white gloves where
I saw Chris, I remember in 07, I saw Chris Rock,
I was a senior in high school, I see Chris Rock
in the literal worst seat in the house,
the only one I could afford.
And to like be there and do six shows,
it really, it was, you know, it's kind of breaking my,
it really broke my brain, where I was like,
I can't even, I still can't wrap my head around
to be honest, this feels weird weird and I still feel like any day
now the theater tour is gonna end.
Someone's gonna be like, this has been a very long
practical joke, back to comedy clubs you go.
It's really what it feels like it's gonna be like at any day,
but Baltimore was so special to be there.
And you know, and in true Baltimore fashion,
it's the best, it's the highlight of my career.
And then I got coronavirus from someone in Baltimore
right then and there.
So it was like I went from the best I've ever felt
in my life to like, oh nice, I've endangered
my grandmother's life.
My success is also, she's good, everyone's fine,
but I was sick of shit for like a whole week
I had to cancel a bunch of other shows.
I lost a lot of other money.
So that's actually, that's another nice metaphor for Baltimore.
Even when it gets you high, it's always, it's going to take a little sum from you.
You're not getting away.
You're not getting away.
Scott free either way.
It took a dark turn there for those who don't know.
Those are thousands of people that you got over, over six shows.
You knew that was going to happen.
You felt like your proper, your popularity could carry that?
I did not feel that at all.
I mean, it was crazy.
I thought I could get, it's my hometown.
I thought I could get 20, you know,
I could make me 2500, which would be huge, right?
But we put the tickets up for sale and ticket master,
was, it sold out so fast fast the ticket master was like we think
someone is hacking our system this isn't possible. And it was like like first of all it's
nice to know how much even my agents were like oh yeah that sounds right it's nice to
know nobody had a even I didn't I was like yeah that's right none of us nobody on my team
believed I could do it. But then it turned out after a little investigating somehow, honestly, we laughed, but probably
thanks to Ronnie, I was able to do, I mean, I sold 14,000 tickets in my hometown. It was
the, it's the craziest moment of my life and it's something that, you know, is the, is
the, is the first time I felt like truly accomplished in my career.
Ronnie will be performing tonight. Hard rock live in Orlando. I'm assuming he travels
with you, right? He's in all the acts. Or is in the, as he just in the ball, he's in the Baltimore.
Not Ronnie. Ronnie's not allowed to leave Maryland. He's got a couple, couple, open warrants,
a couple, he's got a couple parole things going on. He can't risk interstate travel.
Okay. My bad, then it'll only be stopped. Him not getting hard is everywhere. Yeah. Yeah.
That's, that's the vent diagram of me and Ronnie. We both share that. Tampa tomorrow night, uh, Broward Center for Performing Arts and Fort Lauderdale
this Saturday, the fat rascal tour. You go to stavi.biz biz for tour dates, stavvv y.biz for
tour dates and also listen and subscribe to his podcast stavi's world. Thank you, sir. Good
talking to you. Thank you guys. I really appreciate you having me on.
and also listen and subscribe to his podcast, Stavis World.
Thank you, sir. Good talking to you.
Thank you guys. I really appreciate you having me on.