The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Caught Him Piss-Handed
Episode Date: January 4, 2024We relive Dan interviewing someone calling for murder charges against the Miami Dolphins after Tua's concussions last season. Then, Rudy Gobert's Target Center thank you card, Chris Wittyngham doesn't... know how to wear a hat, Chris Cote reads, and John Reed introduces the next Country Music hit. Plus, Jessica and Mike caught Dan in a shameful moment, but he insists he is not lying about what occurred. Also, SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! Adnan Virk and David Samson are here to talk "Saltburn," and as they spoil the movie's most shocking scenes, a huge debate breaks out amongst Adnan and the Shipping Container as Mike and Jeremy defend the film's merits. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Welcome to the big, sweet, presented by Giraffe King.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants,
just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
that if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,
that face and the habitual liar.
This show is getting and has gotten over the last couple of years a lot of accusations
of brain rotting and since the pandemic we cannot be listened to because it's a woke echo chamber
of double extra steroid wokeness and everyone agrees with everyone else. And then the young people come in here,
and they're even extra more woke than the way to woke,
liba woke, and I think some of it's fair.
And the evidence I have for some of the accusations
being fair now in retrospect is I look in a mirror
and I don't like what looks back at me,
is how I reacted to his injury.
And...
It's looking back, okay, looking back.
And my concern and care for people this may be slightly too liberal,
like brain injury seem real and soon
thereafter we would see a player die on the field.
So I can be scared again this Sunday in a way that makes me totally horrified by football,
but Tua has played a complete season of really strategically mathematically smart football by an organization protecting an investment,
which is throw everything in one nanosecond. And if you do that, you're not going to get hit that
much. And the rest of your team is going to get injured because look at what they're doing out
there on Sundays. Everyone's going to get injured, but you're not going to get injured because we're
going to do it the Tom Brady way, just throw everything real fast. But all of us remember how we felt in our stomach
when Monday night football Buffalo goes off the air
and you're like, where'd that game go?
What just happened?
What, what?
Demar Hamlin, we all learned the name together.
And we all know that right before that
we felt something with two,
because he's adorable, because you're rude for him, because we care
about the quarterbacks in that sport.
When his body starts spasming, we were all horrified by that when it felt like seizure symptoms.
So I ran in my kitchen to an emergency zoom and in Christen of Winsky was ready for it.
He's been ready all his life for that moment he was expecting that midnight call
it look at him he's wearing a sports coat in his kitchen after midnight and
you're not
come on to see you now you think so you
yeah i'm you know so you're going to see us what do you think he's in his underwear
well yes 100 percent yes
what is this still shall we chose for you here
uh... it is the one in my kitchen and
It's an emergency the face is is of earnest panic. I'm about to say gladiator spectacle so hard
That's right. I woke I
I ran from my bedroom in my underwear through on my finest baseball cap and shirt and I ran toward the chronicling of
the gladiator spectacle that once upon a time I would have been in the press box in the
Coliseum being horrified by what was happening but also paid for by what was happening.
Picked a spa with great lighting.
Oh yeah fantastic.
My hand was set up for me.
Yes.
Because for just that emergency we built a media company around that emergency.
Get me, we're a news gathering information source.
Get me somebody who's going to show the proper concern.
Then of course, Chris Noinsky comes on
and says there should be murder charges against the dolphins.
If he dies, your language here, I would say,
is in Cindi area.
You are saying things more extreme than most when you
say when you write on Twitter, you
guys should go to jail for letting
him play five days after an
obvious concussion. You covered up
if he dies from second impact
syndrome, I'm pushing for murdered
charges.
Mind you, after that, a player
actually did die on the field.
And I'm breaking their break into that. You know, Elijah Moore did die on the field. I'm breaking there for Dan break into that. You know Elijah Moore did seize on the field last
Thursday. No, no special bonus show there. No, you're like the
Jorge Sedano of concussions.
Well, Jorge Sedano for that incredibly inside reference.
A library, please. Yeah. I know. Nobody got it. So now we'll explain it.
But he was very pleased with it. But at least his timing was perfect,
talking exactly the same time I was Thursday, Chris, ladies and gentlemen.
Bear him with back road, Jess, and I've got a real nightmare on my hand. Jorge Sedano.
I know he's talking about now. Yeah, now you do. Yes. When Rudy Gobert touched all the microphones
and then the America and the world got COVID, Jorge Sedano threatened to suspend, go bear. Now keep in mind at the
beginning and he can be a he can be a Hispanic hothead. He gets emotional and if you think
I overreact, he can overreact. I want to remind you guys, he has since walked this back because
we mocked him, but initially that was an indefinite suspension. And then when we mocked him,
he's like, okay, okay, one game. But that's not how he came out of the box. And that's not how I got out of bed in my underwear
to talk to Chris Nowinsky either. Did you see the thank you card that the
Timberwolves gave Rudy Go Bear? Do we have that? All right. So yeah, it's up on the screen right now.
Can you zoom in to COVID-Shmovid. Thanks. Hell yeah.
I have so many questions about the person who wrote this.
I really do.
Shmovid, and that was actually in a group chat,
posted in a group chat that I met with George Sedano,
and he said, suspend him again.
Well, it's amazing because he bought all of the target
center usher's $50 gift cards or gave them $50, which, you know, $50.
But it's a nice gift.
Really, really nice.
I know how many people, ushers in a, in a, in a arena?
Well, you could see by how many signatures are on the card.
Probably about, I don't know, 60.
Yeah, let me see.
Picture, I'll count them.
But nonetheless, they wrote this really nice thank you card.
It says thank you Rudy from everyone at the target center
and you've got all these different signatures. And then of course, COVID, Shmovid thanks. And so my
question is, does this person feel one way about COVID?
Which I COVID didn't really exist. COVID, Shmovid thanks. I don't know. I don't know the
political state. Is it the flip side, which is, you know what Rudy, we were mad at you
about COVID, but you know what now you gave me 50 bucks COVID. Shmov it
It's fine. Thanks. It's a work of art. You can't tell what that person's perfect really thinks
But they got you with the jab of just making it rhyme with a nonsensical word
47 people he gave it to by my math. That's 20.50. He spent all right. That's fine
Did you is the math right there?
Did you do it right?
47 times 50.
I think you did do it right.
I mean, I use my calculator.
So Jeremy thinks we should do more than that.
Rudy Gobert, like shaming somebody for giving.
I heard some other people, I heard some people in the other room.
This is me blaming again, but I heard some people
in the other room questioning, you know,
you've got a five year, $205 million contract.
You could do like a lot of other players
and not give the usher $23,000.
That's a good 100.
23 out of it.
23 out of it.
Don't tax it out of me.
David Tams.
100's mundred.
You mentioned Chris Wittingham earlier.
Can we laugh at him for a second?
He posted it and if you don't know,
if you don't know him, you're an idiot.
Okay, you should know him.
I don't think that,
if you don't know him, you're an idiot. I was you should know him. What? I don't think that, well, you're an idiot. If you don't know him, you're an idiot.
I was gonna set up who he is, but I feel like most.
Where you're new to the program
and thank you for your support.
Or that.
Yeah, that would have been better.
He's the better version of me.
Right.
So Whitty is now a soccer person.
And what he says in this clip, I don't know what's...
He's always been a soccer person.
I don't know what show this is.
I don't know what he's talking about,
but he...
This is a serious XM.
He does not know how to wear a hat. He's very famously hates hats. This must have been
haircut day. He says he only wears hats on haircut day. This must have been a haircut day.
So here's a clip of him talking soccer and just not knowing how to wear a hat.
The biggest problem with the Glazer ownership over these last 10 years in Sir Alex Ferguson
is left is that they basically wanted to replace Sir Alex when they think that's a relic of the past. I don't think this is the one man.
Why did it come from it?
I just sold their base.
Why is it?
I just sold their... I don't know what's happening.
Lay down a bun, hit the run.
It was on the brunt touch.
For me, in a 10 second clip, you get one or two had adjustments.
And by my math, there's nine or ten years.
Okay, hold on. No, He's given the swing away. For the audio audience, what
begins is the hat is sitting atop perfectly coiffed oiled hair at the beginning
of the clip and then he spends with his right hand the remainder of the time talking.
Is it Coyfter Quaff?
Readjusting his hat at a rate that shows great insecurity and bodily soothing and seems
like almost sarcastic or caricature. He is so uncomfortable. It's the same way that he
would touch the top of his skull if a beehive had
suddenly exploded on top of his head. It's weird how much insecurity is showing that.
At one point, he's just pressing on the hat. Like, the first few are adjustments, and then
it just becomes, please, stay down on here. I just swung on a 30. I've done this before
where you put too much hair gel in your hair before putting on the hat, and it is really uncomfortable.
So I think he's trying to like break up what's going on with the hair gel and kind of mix
things up so that that way he's nice and comfortable.
But if I adjusted a hat that many times in a row, it would just be, I mean, it would just
be so uncomfortable.
Haircut day.
I count to 13 hat fidgets there.
Oh, no, we can count more than that.
Let's count through these. We can count through these together here.
13 hat fidgets and 47 ushers at the target. No, it's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, twelve.
I want to double where it's when he squeezed it twice,
I can't even squeeze it twice.
But that's one motion.
So it's confusing.
12 and a half.
In the middle of it, he squeezed his own skull twice
the way you guys squeeze avocado when you're checking
to see if it has, if it has,
got to do it softly though sometimes,
because sometimes he squeezed a little too hard
and it explodes.
That kid well on his way to calling the World Cup
and a couple of years from telling me.
His career has taken off since the moment he said
he wouldn't want Jim Gray's career
because he was sitting in the back of a row
at the Cleveland or where he was hitting his knees
on a crowded wooden thing.
Oh, that thing was the worst.
Soap of entertainment.
What are we doing, Oate here?
Come on, we don't talk about him for months
and then we just bring this up to make fun of him.
I said it to his face, I was texting him.
I was like, what are you doing here?
At least he's like, I'm a murderer.
He goes, I stand by.
You've never, you've never fidgeted a hat whilst wearing it.
I was like, all right, why are you?
He did, he did.
He deserves it.
I can't with this guy.
He owes a ton of punishments and he is not.
Showing a bathtub.
He's got to do the show from a bathtub.
We need to remind, what do you think he's escaped this?. And he is Mike. He's climbing too high in the industry. And soon he will
forget what is owed here. He doesn't owe us anything in terms of gratitude. That kid
was going to be a star when he was 13 years old. But he owes us a bathtub punishment.
He's got to do a show from a bathtub whilst in a bathtub
Don't worry Billy rules with an iron fist so we'll make sure that happens. I wear it. What happened to the costumes this week?
What happened? I thought that there was I thought New Year's Dan a new year new me Dan no more costumes for me
What do you mean we we stayed paid off one extra punishment?
Ha What do you mean? We, we, I paid off one extra punishment. Costume, costume.
Seasons, greetings, everybody. It is Mike Ryan here to talk to you about Miller Light,
but also here to talk to you about this festive season and how Miller time can make
holiday time even better. I love this winter weather. It's great excuse to go outside and
toast some wonderful memories with some friends. Why don't you do that with an ice cold Miller Light in your hand and in some parts of the country. You don't need a coosie. It just stays cold out there.
How wonderful is that? Take a sip my friends. Look around. Reflect on your year. You made a lot of good calls and no
Call better than having this Miller light right now. A beer that is brewed for taste. You know it's triple hops brewed.
They could have stopped brewing it twice with hops, but they didn't.
They went that extra mile, and they brewed it with hops three times.
The original light beer since 1975 and still the best one I'm talking about Miller Light.
Great taste, 96 calories.
Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you,
or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Taste like Miller Time.
Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Don Lebertard.
God doesn't even know what this list is.
But he was ahead of Tom Brady, who also won a playoff game.
A couple, yeah.
That was literally the most confusing list we've ever done.
But he's got a better shot of command.
I'm a man. I'm a man.
I'm a man. I'm angry.
I'm angry. I would have leaned. Still'm angry. I would have been your day.
This should be you should own the sports media landscape. I am top seven guys. I would not want the job. No. No. No.
No. No. No. I'm not allowing it. Give me a chance. No. not giving him a chance. I'm not giving him a chance.
Give him 20 years.
It's a horrible thing.
I've given him my prize.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with Estougats.
If you've been with us this long, this far, felt some of the shit the last two years that
has engulfed my life.
You know that I've had no shortage of bad feelings
over the last two years,
but I enter this segment right now,
feeling and reeling from what I believe to be,
for me personally, I don't know what the answer to this
is for the rest of you,
but for me, I'm don't know what the answer to this is for the rest of you. But for me,
I'm coming out of in the break what I believe to be one of the worst things that I can feel,
which is the following. I'm not lying about something, but people I care about think I'm lying about something. And I've only felt it twice at this company in two years.
Once is right around freedom.
When I was walking my dog in a video
and I did clean up his shit after I turned off the video
but nobody believes me.
Nobody believes me because in the video
I didn't clean up the shit.
So they think that I just leave dog shit all over Miami.
The only other time I felt that is right now during the break because I came out of the
bathroom preoccupied with my own thoughts and I forgot to put a toilet seat down that
was up when I got there and when I opened the door to the bathroom, Jessica and Mike Ryan are looking at me.
And I realize in that moment of shame,
oh man, I haven't washed my hands.
So I had remembered I've got to go back
and put the toilet seat down.
But first, I got to wash my hands
because they think I'm that kind of gross.
And they think they caught me as the culprit
that continues to leave the toilet seat up around
here.
And I am not that culprit.
I forgot this time, but I am not that culprit.
And the problem is they don't believe me.
And I'm stuck in a situation, Tony, where it doesn't matter how I defend this, I'm going
to sound defensive.
And to me, it's one of the worst feelings in the world to not be lying and that people who know you think you're lying.
They don't believe you.
I love when I leave the bathroom and nobody's there
because I don't have any judgment of anything.
But when somebody's out there, I do feel a little worried.
Even though I've checked all the boxes, I've cleaned the P off the toilet seat
or I put it up or I put it down or I wash my hands,
I feel like everybody's just judging you
when you walk out of the bathroom.
Like I judge Chris any time you go to the bathroom.
It was vulnerable to open the door,
and I'm in my own thoughts,
and I know I haven't washed my hands,
I know I've forgotten something else
and I haven't washed my hands,
but I'm telling you guys,
I am not the culprit who keeps leaving that toilet seat up.
I am not, I do not do it at home.
Oh, it's me.
I leave the toilet seat up all the time.
What?
I leave it up all the time.
Yeah, me too, of course.
See, Dan, you kind of backed into something else.
You admitted there, like you were really focused
on this toilet seat, but all I heard there
is you putting your junk germs on the door.
Regardless of your intention, I'm quick to judge
that your process is all wrong.
You don't go door first.
Who goes door first in that sequence?
We literally caught you piss-handed.
You had opened the door before
washing your hands or lowering the seat. Who does that? How am I supposed to believe this?
Right there. Wait, you did a defense. The seat was up and then you put it down. No, the
seat was up and I didn't put it down. The seat was up when I walked in. Yeah, because
you clearly followed Tony. No, I haven't gone to the bathroom yet today. And I've never wiped
down a seat as much as I do at these bathrooms.
100%.
100%.
That's why I chose to.
Thank you.
Even when I don't make any mess,
I get a piece of toilet paper,
I wipe down the entire seat.
In just in case there's like one single drop.
That's very courteous.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
No, I want to shake your hand.
I have felt bad for.
I didn't watch my hand.
I didn't watch my hand.
For Jessica.
For Lucy, for Kristen, for Hilde, for Cynthia,
all because we shared two bathrooms,
and we are hyena.
I think that's the plural of hyenas.
Is it singular hyena? Whatever.
The people around here have not learned very basic things.
So I have felt bad for the women around here,
but Jessica specifically wasn't even Mike Schaim,
even though Mike was pointing straight at me.
Last time I had seen someone point like that is my mother and my father one time ended
up at a topless, at a nude beach.
And my mother didn't trust my father to go in there and be any kind of normal human being.
And she turned around at one point and there was a woman there who didn't have a shirt
on and he was just pointing straight at her chest and that's how you
That's how Mike Ryan pointed at me because he thought caught me penis handed on I'm the I'm the toilet seat culprit
I am not the person who has left that bathroom a mess. You don't believe me. I don't blame you for not believing me
Do you guys agree with me though that it's one of the worst feelings in the world not to be caught in a lie
I think it's worse to not be lying and feel like people aren't going to believe you
than to actually be caught in a lie.
It's worse to go into the bathroom and have to put the seat down yourself.
That is the worst feeling.
And then to sit on the seat and get Tony's piss splatter on your butt cheeks.
First off, I mean, it is just foul.
First off, I do not pee with the thing down.
Number one, number two, when I put the toilet seat,
I do not pee with toilet seat down.
I always put it up with my foot.
And then you leave it up.
And then I leave it up for the guy behind me, right?
There are women that care.
Sure, and this establish.
And other guys who might want the seat down.
Yeah, it's just, Jeremy, you have the seat down.
You pee with the seat down? It, it's just it's just Jeremy you have the seat down you pee the seat down.
I that's not the point.
Sometimes secondarily secondarily I
Clean whatever is outside of the toilet seat whatever's on the toilet lid. I take it and I clean it clean so much pee
That is in mind so fine agreed
So same thing. Here's the other thing now we have cut Dan dickhanded Tony's admitted to it
I've caught another person here leaving the city you haven't cut me dickhanded. Oh, that's three people now that I know for a fact
Have left the seat up
It's just a courteous thing it shows that you respect your co-work. I respect my co-workers in other ways
I am sorry Jessica and I also still I'm going to have this on me all weekend because it's that I
Remember how I felt after freedom
I'm like no one believes me because why would they believe that I would
Turn the video off and then go back up and clean the
Just shitty excuse here
Shut up dude, we don't respect you
Wow that escalated quickly
Let's leave it up to to have Jeremy come on. He's sitting down. That's what I mean.
Okay, I'm sorry Jeremy, that was so heavy handed.
I got really personal.
But he really doesn't like me here.
He speaks for all of us.
So moving back to what it is that I wanted to get to,
because Chris Cody has over his right shoulder
a listener sent us something that I'm very excited about.
I did not know.
The printed word is dying.
I don't know who sent this, but it made me smile as soon as I saw you open it.
Greg Cody's column, trading Dan Marino is now in the corner of that room,
haunting Chris Cody.
That column, can you go, can you stand up?
Can you read some of that column?
Please don't have me read.
There you go.
Please read a lot for the class.
I would like for you to read if you can see
because the type is very large.
This is like an eye exam.
I'm gonna screw my shot.
Yes, that's okay.
You're gonna grab it. Yes.
And read from that column, we head into the biggest dolphin game around here in at least
six or seven days.
And Greg Cody wrote the most famous dolphin column ever written.
After writing this column, he appeared out front in front of the Harold building and
his voice was modulated and his face was distorted because they were trying
to protect him.
At the time, that's the only sports person in town we had had who basically ever mattered
and Greg Cody traded him.
Jessica, what are you laughing about?
Do you want to read some of this?
Or you just want to put pressure on Chris while he's reading?
I asked if there are any big words we needed to practice.
A assumption.
Okay. Let's just hear. This is Greg Cody, Dolphin Historian,
trading the greatest player in the history of the Miami Dolphins because the Dolphin's head Scott Mitchell.
Why, why'd you move to look at me better?
Trade Dan Marino, keep Scott Mitchell. Why, why'd you move to look at me better? Trade Dan Marino, keep Scott Mitchell there.
That's what the unspeakable looks like in print.
It may be time to start thinking about it.
Much too early to let the idea set and cement, obviously.
But not to weigh the increasingly, God damn it, man.
See, the word starts here and that's a dash
and it finishes on the other side.
So.
But not to weigh in the increasing possibility.
Mitchell was brilliant in Sunday's 3010 dolphins route
of, all right, we got the gist.
All right, I actually want to read this.
So do I, Jessica, you go ahead and take Kansas City.
Jessica, you go ahead and take it and you show people
how it is that you
don't climb in this business. He is so actively rooting against chess. It's the actual
size of a newspaper. I'm also terrible at reading on it, but that's
besides the point. It's a lot of pressure. He stung a good defense for 22 of 33 passes
for 344 yards, three touchdowns and zero interceptions, making it 2 1 1 2 have very good games
and 2 1 1 2 games since stepping in for Marino. I felt even before Sunday's
Mitchell extravaganza trust me that Miami will face a monumental decision after
this season. Sunday utterly convinced me. Just maybe there will be no reversing
the gears, fate set in motion that day at Cleveland Stadium. Imagine it. Number
13 has thrown his last pass for the dolphins.
She reads good.
Yeah, pretty good.
This is what I want to do around here,
because I've got to tell you guys.
I don't know if you've realized it.
The media environment is shrinking and getting crushed.
Stephen A Smith is obviously planning his accident at ESPN.
He's 18 months from a contract.
At the very least, planning leverage. Right's 18 months from a contract. I have to very least planning leverage.
Right. Well, planning, planning the ability. He's got his contract comes up in 18 months
and he's saying to people, I'm a bigger star than anyone on the next. He says, I, and
it's a damn shame. He says, and it's not a damn shame. He's a bigger star than all of
the people on the next, not most of them, all of them. Stephen A Smith is more famous than
Jalen Brunson. He's more famous than anyone who presently plays for the next. And you're in the
middle of McAfee fighting the machine or dealing with the machine. He's going to have a choice to
make about Aaron Rogers, his friend who he pays that's going to be a difficult choice for his fan base to stomach if he can't
protect Aaron Rogers from Bob Iger and has to get rid of Aaron Rogers for some way.
In the middle of that media climate, a shaky, shaky media climate, there are a ton of people
who want to work at metal-arc media.
From here to Jacksonville, most of them can read. It's my job.
And one of the things that's been noticed
by the people in the other room
is there are opportunities here.
Miami media is kind of crumbling.
The local television reporter makes 50 grand a year.
Like, media's in trouble.
It's been eaten up by Wall Street.
And we've got a media company.
And we've got people outside our doors
who work for us who want at the microphones
and want at the opportunities.
And one of them is John Reed, who got a taste last week
of the applause from our audience.
John Reed was a hero last week
because he got in hot water in Iowa
for violating federal air regulations.
A legend Lee Dan.
John Reed has produced a country song
and wants a budget at the Super Bowl
to go to a rodeo and become a country music star.
He has produced a video for our show
because he wants to be a star.
Why are you laughing, Tony?
Why are you laughing?
Oh my God.
I just got to preview in the video.
All right, well, good.
I asked, I've got a break here, okay.
I have to do it here.
We have Adnan and Samson's.
I have to do it here.
I want, okay.
I've got to do it here. I have to do it here. I want. Okay. I've got to do it here.
You've got to do it here.
Let's get to this video of John Reed.
He's applying for the budget to make a song at the Super Bowl because metal arc media
for some reason is sending 30 people to the Super Bowl.
And John Reed believes this is his star turn.
Let's see what he's got.
Viva, bus Vegas. Here we come.
Hey, hey, hey, who is that Dan?
Is that Stu?
Is that Mike Ryan?
Billy Gil, Chris and Greg, too.
Is that you, too?
Out in Vegas
A old boy, a old boy, is that broad
He's that broad, talking hockey at the bar
Look, you didn't took it too far
Out in Vegas, bro, into the penalty box
A Viva, my house of Vegas
A Hey, Hey, A Hey, look, is that Jackson too I'm just playing, I'm just saying to Jay.
Jay out in Vegas. The river my husband gets The river my husband gets
The river my husband gets all night long
The river
The river
The river my husband biggest all night long.
Hey, hey, hey, oh, woo, woo, woo.
It's a party, it's a party, it's a parlay.
It's a party, it's a party, it's a parlay.
It's a party, it's a party, it's a parlay.
All night long.
Hey, hey, hey, who? to reserve your tickets.
Go to circleosbeggens.com.
Slash Stadium, Dash Swim, Slash Dan, Dash,
Levitard, Dash L.
Come on!
I am warning you right now, we are about to ruin Saltburn.
The movie Saltburn.
If you have not seen it, you need to just skip past this segment.
I'm warning you now because otherwise you're gonna get mad really mad at everyone on this show
Saltburn if you want to watch it and do not want it spoiled you must fast forward through this now
Don't be an asshole done lebertard. We got a freini hardaway
I was trying to read fast.
You deem as on the team.
Luke Jackson, Bobby Jones, the Matrix, Sean Marion.
Stugatz.
Who?
Zo, Shaq, Mischparker, Chris Quinn.
Wait a minute.
D-Way, Jason Williams, they're all right.
I mean, stacked roster.
This is the Dan Lebathar show with a Stug roster. This is the Don Limita show with this two gods. Hello David.
Hello Mike.
Hello Adnan.
What's up Mike, can we do them in?
We're doing well.
Basking in the glow of saltburn.
Liking it even more after our conversation.
You and Sam's, we need to re-enact that scene in the tub.
Whoa.
That's not it.
Like, it's on the metal scene, but it's not theact that scene in the tub. Whoa. That's not it. Like, it's on the metal stand,
but it's not the most shocking scene in that movie.
Vampire scene was interesting.
That was interesting for you on the vamp.
I think the, yeah, the humping of a dirt pile.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just suck it.
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
Big sulfur, it's sorry.
I see it, yeah.
Yeah.
Haha.
Just, uh, Dan, uh, give us a count in.
No, we've already started.
I want to talk about salt.
No, you can't give that.
That's a big spoiler.
That's a big spoiler.
We've already talked about,
put a spoiler alert.
I'm to dirt pile.
Hold on a second.
Yeah, that's a pretty shocking scene.
All right, let's do this.
Put on the front of this episode
wherever it needs to be.
Put, put on the screen right now.
Spoiler alerts all over the place.
Even though we have started already sports.
That's all right.
You spoiled it.
So I was just bantering back and forth before we went on the air.
Well, this is salt burn is the name of the movie I've wanted to see it and I stopped because
Wesley Morris wrote in the New York Times salt burn is the sort of embarrassment you'll
put up with for 75 minutes,
but not for 127. It's too desperate, too confused, too pleased with its petty shocks to
allow anything you'd recognize as genuine excitement.
Agreed.
It's a...
Wait a go, Wesley Morris.
Wait a go, Wesley Morris.
It's a scathing that I, David.
So did I, David.
Did you hear that?
Sam, is this any longer?
That's ridiculous.
I'm Team Samson on this one.
I think I kind of love to do
alright uh... before we get to it though because i want you guys to bicker about
a movie that is modern promising young woman
is the reason that people are excited about this movie it's the next effort
correct since promising young woman and uh...
that that the westley morris review has made me keep front he kills it he just
rushes the movie again and again uh... and for a number of different reasons
uh... but go ahead and then please i can follow the wester morris saying
that it's a poor man's
talented mister rickley i mean this is just you read that i google that that's
it's exactly what is true this movie is meant to shock and offend and has no actual substance or soul to it.
It's trying so hard.
And I agree with Mike, it's audacious.
And it's certainly bold and it's unforgettable.
I mean, there's several scenes.
Thank God I'm a vampire.
I mean, that they're scenes that are gonna
stay in my memory.
But not for the right reason.
It's just lured and vulgar and quite frankly indecent.
And nothing personal.
I'm shocked that you loved it.
David, hold on a second.
Before you give us your critique,
this is also coming from Well Wesley Morris.
The whole movie seems to exist for its Coda
and presumably the prosthetics designer
whose name appears in the closing credits.
It's another music video Fantasia,
but so cynical, literal-minded, and literally cheeky
that I cringed my way through it.
That's great.
So you listen to that reviewer
because you've seen him review other movies
that you've watched and you agree with his takes?
I would say to you that I was interested
in watching this movie and then that takedown was so scathing
that I just sort of put it in the queue.
I'm like, I'll get to it, I'll get around to it,
but it was scathing enough that I respect this person's opinion that I don't need to watch it right now
That's a lot of power to give to a reviewer. He's a good reviewer
Now Westy Morris a smart guy, Dan listen if we can spoil a little bit further
There's a scene where Barry Coggins in love with a character, okay?
He sees him masturbating in a hot tub and after that character leaves that hot tub
There's a close of him slurping the tub water, which he's masturbated.
And again, you don't want to see this movie.
That's a big spoiler.
Part of this film's experience is the shock value
that this segment is totally neutering, by the way.
And I do respect Wesley Morris' movie opinions
and I respect Adnan's,
and I think that it's a totally accurate take.
I would not think you less than if you stood up
watching this and movie theater and walked out.
This is a very audacious film.
It's probably why I liked it.
Hyper-cylized.
I thought the performances in such a surreal environment
were super believable.
Really good performances in this film.
I love the way that it was made.
Maybe it was made specifically for me,
no, not that I'm a fiend,
but I left college around the same time
that these young people are leaving college.
So everything from the music to the fashion
was for such an instrumental time in my life
that I saw a lot of that era in this film.
I thought it was shocking in a good sense
kind of the way that I haven't been shocked by a film
like that since the lighthouse.
And I really, the more I talk about it,
the more I talk about it, the more people have these
strong opinions about it, I realize that the filmmaker
did something right, and I like it more because of it.
Have you ever looked down into a drain,
like really looked into it and see what's there?
Let my boy cook.
It's not pretty.
Thank you Tony.
Oh prude.
David?
Yeah I would just, I'd like to explain
that the point of the movie without spoiling it
is that there's a lot of people who think they want
someone else's life and that the grass is greener.
And people think that having money or not having money
is really the impetus for how you get through life.
And this movie does a great job with what will be nominated performances.
Several of them.
In a script that also could be nominated because it's that good.
And what people are complaining about is shocking.
If you want plain vanilla, then go see a Disney movie.
Go see an ordinary movie that just exists. But if you want to actually be intrigued intellectually
and stimulated both intellectually
and for some people physically, maybe.
Stimulated is the right word of perhaps titillated.
It all pushed back.
Several performances are not being nominated for Oscars.
Maybe one, Rosman Pike supporting actress is excellent.
And maybe the script.
The script is a good check.
You're not given in very Keegan deserves an Oscar.
And she's not getting nominated. You might be the best actor nominees. I'll good change. You're not given very keegan deserves a mountain.
And she's not getting nominated.
You might say right now, the best actor nominees I'll give it to you right now.
Killian Murphy for Oppenheimer, Leo for Killers of Fire Moon, Jeffrey Wright, I hope American
fiction, Coleman Domingo for Rustin, those four potentially.
And then after that, there's a bit of a play.
And you just said you guaranteed the nominations.
And now you only named four and then said potentially. It's not a very common problem.
I'll put a thousand dollars, it's not very common right now.
There's no way, it doesn't get numbered.
It's not a big name, so he definitely won't be nominated.
You're right.
It's not a perfect, like, eat the rich story
that I think everybody wanted it to be.
I think that's where it maybe came up a little bit short.
Like, it sort of hints at some of that.
But if you just want to be entertained,
and that's what I want out of a movie a lot of the time.
Like it made me think just enough,
it had incredible performances.
I mean, you mentioned Rosemond Pike.
There were a couple of like monologues from her
that were hilarious and wonderful,
and the script was perfectly woven together with that.
And it did make you question the only issue that I had
is the end almost
like ties everything together a little too well maybe and gives you everything. I wish
I would have been left wondering a little bit more, but I was blown away by those scenes
and how well they were acted. And if you really look like, yes, obviously some of those things
push the envelope a little far into obsession, but that's the point of
the movie.
It's all fantastical.
It's all very camp.
And I love a camp movie.
And it's so reason I can't go down to the wall.
She's on her period.
Well, hold on.
But when he's shocking, these shocking cinematic moments are actually strangely beautiful to
look at as a cinematography is so on point. Like this, this film is a spectacle.
There's a reason why the word of mouth around this movie,
its meme ability is carrying it through a popularity
that is still ascending by the way.
And it's only gonna get help by segments like this.
I think you have to watch this movie.
I think it's a must see film this year.
To other nominees, by the way,
Henry Coggin, because Samson made fun of me.
GMati for the holdovers,
which I know you also loved
and Bradley Cooper for Maestro.
Coggin's not getting nominated.
They're a Kegan.
So now you're at six.
So six.
I'll give you one more.
I'll give you one more.
All of us strangers, Andrew Scott.
He's excellent.
There's seven nominee.
I know I'm so telling you,
that's how far down Barry Kegan is.
You said, guaranteed there's several nominees. He's not getting nominated. He's eighth of's actually there's only seven. That's seven nominee. I know I'm so telling you. That's how far down Barry Kagan is. You said guaranteed there's several nominees.
He's not getting nominated.
He's eighth of a list at best.
That's because they're wrong,
because he was spectacular.
He's become so good.
He with this performance,
he kind of sealed it with Banshees,
which is why I wanted to see this.
And the filmmaker and the trailer captured me right away
from the music to the way that it was shot
to the art direction to the graphics that they overlaid on it.
Barry Kagan is now a must-watch actor for me.
Anything that he does, I'm all in on his choices.
We're in on Banshee's in that feckin' donkey.
No matter what Stan Van Gundy says.
All right, Adnan Burke.
This is a part that Chris Cody knows this side of Adnan Burke better.
Anyone who listens to Centafile knows this part of Adnan Burke.
He's dirty.
Look, he's dirty.
The sex stuff, he gets appalled by it.
No, no, listen, you're dirty.
I don't, I, I, you once said it well, Dan,
you said for a man who's so polished,
there's an undercurrent of purport.
I mean, and it's not so much a horrible way
to describe yourself.
It's not so much an undercurrent.
That's why I'm shocked you didn't like it.
It's a love it. It's an undertow an undercurrent. That's why I'm shocked you didn't like it. It should love it.
It's an undertow, and you can get swept out to see in it,
because he loves gratuitously breaking free
of the MLB network shackles, and describing,
well, a film has given me permission to utter the phrase,
go down on a woman while.
Yeah.
Honestly, I'm so mad at this segment,
because part of this experience is the shock value
and to be shocked in this day and age when they shoot things on film that even the most
warped minds couldn't even conceive.
They're showing boobs during the sugar bowl.
Jessica, you took off your headset at some point during this segment because you don't want
to spoil. I want on the front end of this, okay?
Video and audio.
Large, loud, spoiler warnings.
I'm not interested in ruining this movie for people
when the shock value is part of the appeal, okay?
So put on all the warnings because we started a segment
while you guys were just talking.
But Jessica, I've lost you in a segment
that was meant to connect with today's movies
because these guys are always talking about goddamn catty shack.
Great deal.
No, this is my fault, Dan, because believe it or not, I was going to watch Salper and last night,
because Mike texted me and told me we're going to talk about it.
And then I turned on a David Sushay Poirot from 2001, Five Little Pigs.
It was excellent.
So that's on me.
Watch the 30-year-old television movie instead.
I bet that.
My bad.
But you took off your headsets because you don't want this spoiled
and how much spoiling are we doing?
And we've only got 90 seconds left here, Samson.
How much spoiling are we doing when we're talking about the rarest of things now in movie going?
A movie shocks you.
I'd rather you not go to a movie and look for a scene and wait for it
because part of this movie is not knowing
when the next most unbelievable thing is gonna happen and you're watching characters descend into madness and if you know where it ends
then it doesn't matter where it starts and that's the problem with spoiling this.
Okay, a cinephile where Adnan Burke plays to his perversions. I've seen this.
This, no, yeah, you laugh, you laugh,
but you did this with the bass at hand.
You use the movies as cover to be extra dirty.
And to be terrible.
You really think this is a really good,
bigger audience here.
This is overlooking for where he plays to his perversions.
Glad we did an entire segment on this,
because I do think it is a seminal film.
I think in retrospect, when we look back on it, it'll speak to a generation.
And it is that important that people watch.
There's definitely some seminal going on.
I knew that was going to happen.
He took the root of seminal and he made it seeming because he's dirty ad manvert.
He can't help himself.
It's disgusting.
Get out of here.
Cinefile is where you can check out his perversions if you want them.
You are getting crushed by the room here. You hated this movie and everyone else here likes it.
Wesley Morris and me, we're standing at it. Go see American Fixed instead. Read the screenplay.
Have it here. Have it here. Showing your free stuff. Disgusting.
Oh, thanks, guys.
Genuinely love that movie. so disappointed by this time.
I like it even more now after this.
Yeah, I'm now I'm digging my heels in.
It does make one dig once heels and we need this like movie, but it's rubbish.
Have a great day everybody.
See ya.
Thanks, let us know.