The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Dan's Golden Shaft
Episode Date: March 7, 2024Dan apologizes to the audience for some reason, and Stugotz breaks news by telling us he has people he will allow to steal his takes. Then, Jake Paul and Mike Tyson are going to fight. Dan is mad the ...crew laughed at him when he brought it up a few days ago, but he has a spicy take on the fight as he calls Jake Paul "an idiot." Plus, Lucy wants to give Roy a platform to discuss the Florida Panthers after their massive trade, Roy delivers a headline stealing take, and we have a new song on Chris Wittyngham by Yeti Blanc, "Tkachuk You." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBatard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants
just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,
fat face and the habitual liar.
Stugots, I know that over the last
or three or four years of just,
let's call it general turbulence around here.
Around here and in America in general.
If you've been following the history of our show,
you and I explain this to the people who,
we're reaching a lot of new audience on max because you've got 99 million
Subscribers and they're finding us and growing out something that will soon or is now video on demand
And you'll be able to find more and more people who are new to our show
We'll be meeting us for the first time on max with whatever it is that we're doing here in the morning
That is sort of sports.
But also we used to be just a podcast and in leaving ESPN one of the things that happened
is we had to build out an entire video thing so that we could be our own network.
And now we're in the transition between bothering the people who love us most and think of us only as an audio product
Because we keep doing video shit and they want their thing in the ears not
Behaving like it knows it's being watched and so we upset the balance of this very intimate thing that people consume a certain way in Our audience this is not the way the Max audience consumes it, it's the way our audience consumes us. It's these hours in this order at this time. And when
I simply say I'm not doing the local hour anymore in Max, I want to do a broader show
in Max and we'll do the local hour afterward, it upsets our most diehard customers who I never want to upset.
Like their criticisms, even where we disagree on things.
Our most diehard customers are the reason all of this exists
because they've been listening for 20 years and they expect this a certain way,
or 15 years, or nine years.
And so what I'm telling them and the audio audience by way of apology
and demanding or requesting, just a little more patience from you years and to what I'm telling them and the audio audience by way of apology and
demanding or requesting just a little more patience from you because we're almost there on all the things that it took
To get this to the place where we can do everything we want however we want totally free and
With the best deal in sports because our sponsors are badass and they're gonna win gambling.
Like they're gonna win gambling
because they're ahead of everybody.
That's a tricky spot for us as hosts
for the entire show really
because you have this core audience
who is so loyal to us,
who supports everything we do.
And get the angriest when we change things up
in the name of however this had to grow,
even where it got worse because I cannot explain to this audience that loves us the most,
the battering of change, clocks, studios, all of it, but we've built it now.
It's built. The company is built.
Like, we've got the 50 we ride with, and the baddest sponsor in the game like the one that everyone wants to be
associated with because we all see what's happening that media is crumbling and DraftKings wants in
the content game and they're here, they're here with power over every advertising vehicle that
will soon not be ESPN because, or might not already be ESPN because ESPN's got another gambling
partner.
Already there, yeah.
And so DraftKings now wants to get into the content game more and if you're watching what
all the smoke is doing and you can imagine us doing a party like Sunday's Oscar party
with us, with all the smoke during the playoffs, see how Mike Ryan gets along with Paul Pierce
at the company party.
I'll show up to those.
I mean, yeah, not surprising.
All the smoke.
Well, I was surprised.
That was advocate, but I wish the listening audience could see your ass twirl
that baton the way you've been twirling it while you've been talking, brother.
You are like a what do they call the girls in the high schoolers?
She's like a twirler, bro.
So you believe this should be part of my new character?
These, that this is how I should evolve as a sports personality
If you developed a routine where you could
Throw it up and catch it
Yeah
Light it on fire
It's alright Chris, I got you
Five dollars Chris, no you shouldn't
It's my, it's my, it's my box
I got you as in I got your five dollars
Oh god
Uh Jessica, I'm gonna need you, I'm gonna need you to do better
about something here, okay?
I'm the only one paying the fines,
and it's costing you money.
Like, I'm, you are losing all the money.
Nobody else here is paying fines.
Chris should be fined $5 for the way
that he tried to fight through that but failed.
I thought you'd only get fined
if you clear your throat in the mic.
You turned your mic off.
But you could hear this.
You could hear the flim building up.
Of course you could.
Yes, we all heard it.
You might need a replay.
Yeah, I'm willing to lose a time out over this.
You want me to enforce the fines, Dan?
I will.
I for you, it's going to make me very unpopular.
But but so Jessica, it's you.
She's going to find us every second for nothing.
But this. No, but I'm not.
Look, we can go that route. you guys, if we can do that
as democracy, whether or not Jessica's allowed to take some of Billy's iron fist power and
actually distribute fines all over the place.
If she's allowed to rewrite the entire fine system, I will leave that for you guys to
decide as it speaks specifically to the $5 on the table here and the fact that I'm
the only one paying the fines. I'm guessing, Jessica, that there is twice as much money
available to you that's owed because Greg Cody just never pays anything.
That's probably true. I also wasn't entirely aware that I should be taking the money from
the fine bucket. There's probably like 20 bucks in here that I've just been sitting next
to. It's all my money though. The point is also the fine bucket needs a Venmo option if we're in 2024.
I've been saying this for years, Juju.
You're the only person in Florida with cash.
Oh, you know what?
Fair enough.
Thank you, Juju.
Yes.
Please, somebody enforce that.
So may she get my money tax-free with no documentation.
Please let out.
May she get my money tax free with no documentation. Oh, please let out. May she get my money?
I feel a little uncomfortable about this being
the new fine bugger rule, but if that's what everyone agrees
and insists on, I begrudgingly will take this cash
and subsequent Venmos from the next dollar.
I bestow upon you with my, what is this?
My shaft of golden, careful.
What are we?
Nice shaft. What do we call this? Big shaft. My twirler. are you nice shaft? Yeah, what do we call this my big shit?
I'm gonna sit this one out
I'm gonna sit this one out. I bestow upon you more power over the fine bucket do with it what you will tell me bears
Oh.
Oh. Come on, who gave me that?
You did.
You gave it to yourself because you ground the show
to all the tummy bears.
You're hitting your student in the silence
and the shit by yourself.
So sweaty.
The show was doing.
The longest two seconds of my life right now.
The show was doing fire.
Tummy bears.
It's not bad because it was so bad.
Oh.
It's not bad.
Space I live in.
I will allow it with my golden shaft.
Shaft.
Yeah.
It's shaft.
Tips just go.
Stugott's made an announcement.
Oh man.
I'm embarrassed by something right now
that it's taken me this long to get to this
because he told me this last night.
Honest to God, this is a true story, what I'm about to tell you.
Stugaz and I have been doing this a long time and he knows what's good.
Stugaz knows what's good.
And he looks at me yesterday as soon as we're leaving the show.
And he says to me, and it's news to me.
This is something I did not know about my partner.
to me and it's news to me. This is something I did not know about my partner. I'm like, did you see this? Hembo stole your take on ESPN. You said Russell Wilson is playing his
way out of the Hall of Fame. Yeah, you're that's your right. Well, it's not copyrighted
and we didn't trademark it like the rock, but that is yours and Hembo. Do we have the
sound of this please? Because I can't
believe that this happened yesterday because this is the honest to God truth. We are leaving the
show. Stugatz knows what's good and Stugatz knows that when something is interesting to me about
his media life, that that is always great content, indisputably. And so he had already known somehow of this
sound that I'm about to play for you, which is Hembo just stealing on ESPN. ESPN is just
straight stealing our shit now. Damn.
Any player in the NFL that you would definitively say after 10 or so years was going to the
Hall of Fame, where two years after that, you would definitively say, was not?
Because I don't think it's overstating it to say
that's exactly what has happened to Russell Wilson.
Over the last two years, Russell Wilson has played his way
out of the Hall of Fame and has cemented
Pete Carroll's place in it.
Hmm.
Favorite.
That's something I'm supposed to know.
Stole and take.
Wait, hold on.
Don't do him all that. Oh, Andy, I'm known. It's a little bit uncount. He's hand-bought all over. He's something I'm supposed to know. Stole and take. Wait, hold on, don't do him, but don't do him, but like that.
I'm the unknown.
You're the uncount.
He's the first one.
He's a good kid.
Don't do him, but like that, he outside.
Who's hembo?
He's Green Ease producer.
Jess just did exactly what Jeremy did.
I was earnest, though.
Nobody's gonna jump on her, though.
Well, she could find me.
Mine was not.
Mine was inoffensive.
You said it smugly.
She kind of just said it earnestly.
I'm the unknown.
No, but this Jeremy is annoying heat fan birth from a thousand years. i mean you said it's smugly she kind of just said it earnestly i don't know now but
this is this jeremy is annoying heat fan birth from a thousand annoying heat
fans and that's how it's gonna happen on me that that's how it's gonna come out
of jeremy and but jessica was it and innocently asking uh... who is hembo but
here's the answer your question and is why i was so shocked leaving work
yesterday jessica still got says to me oh yeah hembo's one of the people I've allowed to steal my
takes there are three or four of them I've given him permission to steal my
action yeah I'm like what do you mean someone has permission to steal your takes?
Who gets this honor?
Is it because he's associated with Greeny?
He's associated with Greeny.
I have stolen his takes before.
I've stolen his stats before without giving him credit.
I'm a mentor of sorts to Hembo.
I like Hembo a lot.
I've taught him everything that he knows, including how to steal a take.
So it's a take for ten.
Yeah, exactly right.
Right. Now I have a attack. Yeah, exactly right.
Now I have a top five if you want to,
and there are only five people in our industry
that could steal my takes.
You have them in your wallet or what are you,
what are you, you have some?
And are these people whose takes you've also stolen
so there's mutual two way street takeage?
Perhaps, yeah.
Okay, what, hold on a second.
Please save this, just don't waste this.
Just save it for a second because I don't
It's just confusing to me. We're leaving the show. You know, this is good
You leave the show you come in today and you don't know that we have to start the show here like how how is the news?
That you allow not one but many people to steal your takes
When you have been accused by rich
I you've accused rich Eisen and Dan Patrick of stealing your takes and they don't respect you enough to take the beef seriously
They say this guy thinks that we steal his shit. Yeah, those are two guys
They're on my top five guys in sports media who can't steal my takes, but they do it anyway
Well, how many of those those are five because the only two eyes and a Patrick
I want to have an issue on me, bro
All right, we will get we will get to this list but Chris are you with me on this?
Are you shocked that they're that there are five people out there that still gots has bestowed with the greatest of the honors
Which is you can scam as awfully as I scam. Obesis PCs.
Come beat him with your cane. That was good. It's a shock. Oh it's a shock.
He gave it to himself from under the desk! Ayo, I mean I just gotta eat that one.
Obesis, PCs, that's great.
That's f**king great.
Hey friends, it's Mike Ryan and a lot has changed over the years.
One thing that hasn't, the great and dependable taste of Miller Lite.
It was the original Lite beer and to this day, it is still the best one. Miller light has more the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't I was at a baseball game
I love college baseball, especially this time year and
Thank goodness. They had Miller light on tap. I had a Miller light and you know what I did
I have to do this contractually. I take that first sip and then I look around
Mmm taste buds electrified.
Yeah, Miller Lite, you were always the right call.
And that's why I love you so much.
Then I turned to my friend and I had a great conversation.
Oh, Miller Lite, you grease the rails
for a good conversation better than anybody.
I love you, Miller Lite, you keep everything so simple.
Times change, but you can always enjoy
the great taste of Miller Lite.
Tastes like Miller Time.
To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door,
visit MillerLite.com slash Dan,
or you can pretty much find it anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
96 calories per 12 ounces.
Don Lebatard.
Let's go to 80.
His name is Bo. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wow. I think Billy typed an eight instead of a B. Fine. It's the clearest name.
All right.
Two dollars.
Stugatz.
Number eight.
Number eight.
Number eight.
It's Chris Carter on the line.
C.C.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugatz.
MUSIC
Stugatz just said something under his breath
that made me laugh because there
are a million different ways where this crew has gotten used to making fun of me
from every angle and so when I came in here about six days ago and I said hey
is anyone talking about or has it been reported that Jake Paul and the Mike
Tyson fight that that that's
a done deal and that's going to happen and everyone made fun of me and it was Dan, you've
been fooled by the internet, somebody would have said that, that's ridiculous, they talked
about it a long time ago and I'm like no, I had somebody who's really credible talk
about it as if it was a foregone conclusion that Jake Paul and Mike Tyson were fighting
and I came in with that news, what would have been news and still got under his breath right now says to me
and I figure he's six days behind on the internet wherever I am on the internet and he's like
hey Dan Jake Paul is fighting Mike Tyson I'm like no still got I got fooled by that last
week I was they went they went back in the internet they found Dan that's a laughing
stop that's not going to happen and so many of the people in the internet and they found Dan, that's a laughing stock, that's not gonna happen.
And so, many of the people in the room,
while they were mocking me said,
Jake Paul would never be fool enough,
fool enough to fight Mike Tyson at any age.
Jake Paul, whose YouTube numbers don't make him
the influencer he used to be,
and Jake Paul, whose boxing numbers are now down
because he lost, is gonna give you the maximum
best freak show there can be and they're gonna put it
in Jerry Jones' stadium.
Yep, on Netflix, July 20th, he is getting
Mike Tyson back in the ring.
I mean, that is amazing.
You should have got out there more strongly
within a couple weeks ago because it's being reported
everywhere like now, as if today it's official.
Who else was in the room when I was saying,
Mike Ryan was lead among the people
who was making fun of me.
That's because we had to Google it.
Like last week when you said it,
we Googled it and nothing came up.
Now it's all over the place.
Now it's everywhere.
They released a trailer or everything.
Like it's crazy.
It looks great.
And to be clear, Mike Ryan jumps at the opportunity
to make sure someone's wrong about certain things.
So we love our brother,
but hey, don't take it with a grain of salt.
If I may, I think it was Tony.
Hmm.
I'm in on this fight, though.
I want to see Mike Tyson, too.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Tyson, wait, wait!
Yes, they're gonna give you the maximum freak show
of taking MMA and boxing and Carnival Barker
and bringing a freak show
out of retirement to fight the YouTube sensation that has fallen behind Stugans because he
doesn't take care of that. He's been boxing. He's been, he's been, he was at the front
of where do YouTubers get their power and he's taken it to the very top of sports. He's
at maximum freak show in Jerry Jones' stadium.
The content companies will eat it up. He'll do awful things. Tyson will say awful things,
and they'll do a great job of selling a fight that will create a giant business without
needing Dana White, without using the fame of the day to expose that the system that
Dana White and Vince McMahon has,
that it's been the wrong system for a long time
where they get paid and the fighters do not,
Jake Paul just won the money game.
He just, if this fight is done, it will sell huge,
it will be a freak show and I had the news a week ago
and Tony was the one, our MMA expert, our fighting expert, he was the
one that was loud and belligerent.
Were you the only one in the room, Jess?
I don't remember the details.
I can't really remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, but I believe it was Tony who
we should be criticizing now.
Also worth mentioning, Jake Paul's betting company I saw yesterday was valued at around
like $375 million. worth mentioning. Jake Paul's betting company, I saw yesterday was valued at around like
$375 million, so that's been one of his main things the last few years was like starting
up this betting company. And Bonmani's show on HBO Game Theory did a whole segment on
that and some of like the pros and cons to a Jake Paul betting site.
You're being very gentle. You're being very gentle.
Again, I don't remember the details because I don't remember what I have to look this morning. Okay, but
please, dear God, just read a little bit about all of the
ways Jake Paul is awful. Okay, because he's a celebrity and
he's famous and he could be a bad boy for the times. And just
it's breaking news. Now I'll get a list for you somewhere of
all the things that Jakeake paul has done
in his right in his rise to fame right that are really gruesome and mike
tyson has an assortment of those as well and in the fight game because it's the
dirtiest game that stuff does not matter how do you get eyeballs in the
carnage business these two people are very good at that
and eyeballs in the carnage business these two people are very good at that and
when you've got the and gone to the heavyweight fighting tyson fury and
in the places where
players and athletes can take over the business of their powers to god
led by floyd mayweather who won this game originally because he's one of the
best businessmen in the history of sports he owned all his own shit before
anybody did the fighters in the history of sports. He owned all his own shit before anybody did.
The fighters and the freak shows
are coming to take the fighting money
and not share it with Dana White, who takes 82%.
And Jake Paul is here to fight on behalf of fighters
and Nganu is here to fight on behalf of fighters
who know that the fighting game is sewage
and when they get their freedom,
this is what it looks like.
When they don't have to get their money stolen
by marketers and promoters,
when they don't have to share it,
they can do all the wrong things
and rise to the top of the dirtiest business
and give us the freak show that people are gonna watch.
People will absolutely watch this.
Well, they'll watch this
because they're placing it in July.
I mean, we'd watch it anyway probably,
but July 20th, you are starving for anything.
It is just you, baseball and Joey Chestnut.
And now you get Tyson back in the ring,
that is incredible.
Man.
It was me.
I was laughing at the fact that I wouldn't have thought
that Jake Paul, who had lost to Tommy Fury,
who has been fighting tomato cans as we talked about,
would actually take out of retirement,
Mike Tyson, who we saw at 57 years old,
throw punches against a bag that exploded the bag.
I never thought that in his right mind,
he would take that fight
because it's a losing proposition for him.
Okay, tomato can jog my memory.
I was there. Yes, I noticed.
Accountability brother, my boy Dan came in here
and it was accountable yesterday and apologized.
I think it was just apologized
my brother stopped talking.
Absolutely, no, no, I'm just telling him.
Like it was me, I was the one.
We were out there on the table.
No, but I, forgive me because Jessica says
she can't remember what she had for breakfast
and I am now so used to.
I come in here and say something
and everyone in the room turns on me.
Dan got fooled by the internet again. I came in here and I couldn't even remember. I'm
like, I remember Stugatz, even as we talk about it right now, I'm so tired that I
cannot remember who told me. But when this person told me, the person was
important enough that I said, that's a fact. This person knows that Tyson is
fighting Jake Paul. And I assume people know that I come in here I tell people hey
This is a thing that's already done right and they tell me not only are you wrong Dan
But the internet has no proof of it as it already shot this down
Jake Paul would be crazy to do this and by the way
I was quickly talked off my position because Tony is right in this respect
Jake Paul you're an idiot like you are going to get knocked out
You have no chance in this fight,
only if Mike Tyson is nice to you.
That's not what the betting odds are saying.
I'm taking Paul.
You're a fool.
Taking Tyson plus money?
I'm saying minus 500.
Okay, now I see Mike Tyson fight Roy Jones Jr.
Is that on Jake Paul's betting site that you're seeing me on?
Just a question.
No.
This is really not my expertise.
I'm just gonna step over the course. Juju, this is what's gonna happen though That insight that you're seeing me just question. No This is really not my
Juju here Juju, this is what's gonna happen though on where people's areas of expertise are not okay
Mike Tyson's boxing just his strategic skill and power you if you have seen him even at a speed bag as a
Actual professional fighter in his late fifties. No one would actually want to fight that. That he had a sad fight with Roy Jones Jr. who is one of
the toughest men in the history of fighting. That those two guys late in
life wouldn't be good boxers. I will grant you that was sad. But what they
would both do to Jake Paul is ravage him completely even with his size advantage, ravage all of his
youth. Because even though Mike Tyson is an old man, Jake Paul has never been hit by this
kind of professional fighter.
I was like, you want to put a twinkie on it again?
Look, Mike Tyson should be an overwhelming favorite to knock out Jake Paul very quickly
if he simply wants to.
He's plus 325.
If he simply wishes to.
If it's his desire to not hold him up for three fights
so that they can all pay their taxes for years
and make a lot of money.
If Mike Tyson wants to fight Jake Paul for 30 seconds,
Jake Paul will fall in those 30 seconds.
We've got a quote from Mike.
He says, I started him on his boxing journey
on the undercard of my fight with Roy Jones,
and I plan to finish him.
Oh, wow.
Jeez.
Dang, I bet you $30 at J-Paw will win.
You know what I'm talking about?
I'm putting my money on my feet.
$30, take it or leave it.
You're taking J-Paw?
I'm taking J-Paw.
These odds make it seem like I want to take him too.
OK, you guys think.
You got, wait a minute.
Suckers bet, Dan.
They don't know, Dan. they don't they don't know
Dan guys give him some give him some room here he's turning into Larry Merchant again
You're gonna seriously tell me somebody who's been next to this dirty game for 35 years that you think this YouTube
sensation can beat Mike Tyson at any age.
Mike Tyson on a respirator, Mike Tyson in the hospice.
I don't care who this person thinks he is
as an influencer and entertainer.
And awful, by the way.
Read the history.
Look it up. He's terrible.
This person thinking he can win a fight against Mike Tyson
because you think Mike Tyson's an old man
as if I don't know the expertise of Mike Tyson
like
for thinking that you
You don't understand the disrespect of thinking Jake Paul belongs in a ring for 30 seconds with Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson will be
Generous if he allows Jake Paul to spend 11 seconds in that ring with him because Jake Paul is not
One fraction of the fighter Mike Tyson was even at this age
Are you shitting me that the betting odds start on Jake Paul?
This is either gonna age fantastically for you or not so so well. Or you're gonna be $30 later in the pocket.
You all think Jake Paul's gonna win?
These odds just make me, I'm with you.
Before I saw the odds, I would have just taken Tyson and had fun watching it.
He's 57.
That is a lot of juice to give to Jake Paul.
Maybe I'll take Tyson just because it'll pay better.
No, no, you chose a side already.
I'm just saying though, over. It's over.
50 burger on plus 325.
There has never been an easier bet in the history of sports
than this one.
Jake Paul has not fought anyone who knows how to fight this way.
The way Mike Tyson does.
This is the dumbest thing Jake Paul has ever done
in a long, long list of dumb shit he's done.
I'm gonna get paid though.
Oh my God, it's gonna be, his career.
I am like ass out man.
His career is gonna end with such a flourish.
Congratulations.
His life might end.
Shake Paul, yes!
This is how it ends for the ultimate influencer.
You showed us, you won the biggest boxing match
of all time, and what was your reward at the end?
You were dead, big, dumb, famous, and dead.
I love Larry Merchant.
Why the hell might it taste me busting in a little drow?
So what the hell is that?
I guess today it's Berk sugar.
Don Lebatard!
Oh, I think Larry Fitzgerald's on the green right there.
Stugatz!
That's Alfonso Ribeiro.
Now, how do you think that Larry Fitzgerald's part is?
The sun, the sun.
Oh, the sun.
To be fair, to be fair, Alfonso Ribeiro has a great ass.
This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats.
Lucy, I need your help with something to get the vibes in the room,
feeling the way that the vibes need to feel,
because I've got a number of things that different people want to talk about.
The Florida Panthers in their last 31 games are 25, 4 and 2.
Roy Bellamy is hosting a hockey podcast for, you know, largely covering with great
expertise, the greatest hockey team of our time over the last 31 games.
It's hard to be better over 31 games.
You can be, but in the history of the sport, I know the Bruins spent most of last
season better than that number. It could be 31 and 0. Yes, you could be. They would history of the sport I know the Bruins spent most of last season better than that number
It could be 31 and oh, yeah, you could be with a great team of all time
I yeah, I understood and yes, and then the Panthers beat them
But 25 4 and 2 is pretty good and Roy and Chris want to talk about that
but I've got love is blind everybody seems to want to talk about that and
There are some local things that I just wanted to talk about, including a spring break
commercial that I saw because what has come to South Beach has made me really sad.
Okay, Stu, guys, because I mean, Florida's laws are getting aggressive.
And I remember telling you during the pandemic, I remember telling you that, like, okay, so
really, we're going to, we're going to have statewide emergency alerts and curfews because people are partying in the
streets too much. That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna have state emergencies, uh,
because on spring break, there are too many people parting. But then some people also
die shot like we told you the story ran out of Cleveland there at the end because somebody
was killed in the lobby because it was also dangerous.
But now they've just shut down Spring Break, kicked Spring Break out.
They weren't charging $100 for parking to make it for only rich people and then they're
like, no, we're going to close down the parking garages.
You're just not going to be able to have a party here.
And there's a commercial for breaking up with Spring Break.
Lucy, choose between those three topics, please.
I'd like to hear Roy talk about hockey.
It makes me so happy because sometimes it's awesome
to listen to people talk about what they're passionate about.
And people are very nice to me when I talk about
college football, so I'm with the same creative answer. Puck. Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck.
Puck. Puck. Puck. Puck. Puck. It was basically a steal. I mean the Panthers have 2.5 million dollars going towards the salary cap now
They got 3.1 million left so they could swing another deal
It's a steal. They got a Stanley Cup champion. They got a playoff veteran a top six forward
It's it's amazing to me to me Roy. This is more of a statement than even in addition
This is the Panthers already with the best record in the league saying this is our year rich get. It's just more of like we are adding to it. We're not satisfied with this roster.
This is the year to win. To me, like yes, I enjoy the nice player. I've heard of him and for that's just like in hockey whenever we
trade for someone I've been loving for. That's the best we can do as a hockey show. We're not exactly spitting
chicklets around here. I'm just saying but I feel like I was yesterday because I had heard of him.
So I felt very good.
Roy, look, I would ask, look, I'm gonna let people
look behind the scenes, even though I punished Lucy
for this earlier.
Yesterday, this broke, this news broke
while we were doing the post game.
And Chris Cody and I had our first argument with him.
He vetoed me yesterday, as you know,
the guy who doesn't know anything about whether or not
Jake Paul and Mike Tyson are fighting,
but doesn't report it, so doesn't break the news
and doesn't have news and information.
Hello everybody, Willie Wonka hosting a sports empire.
$30.
Tyson, Jake Paul, I think we could have broken
into programming for yesterday.
Yeah, but-
This trade to me, this would be-
No, but I was-
I did break into programming.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
hold on, let me tell the people what the argument was,
because Stu got to agree with you.
And I think everybody agreed with you, including Roy.
But I'm saying if this show is gonna be a leader
on Florida Panthers coverage,
if Roy is gonna have a Friday hockey show
and a trade breaks in the middle of our post game,
I would think that people will wanna hear from Roy
and Mike Ryan and people who care about the team
immediately, because for the first time,
the Panthers are the best team in the league,
betting favorites, and when it comes to trade,
they're going and finding value,
and they're buyers instead of sellers.
They're telling you this organization
for the first time in a long time.
No, we're here to win the championship this year.
Absolutely, this is an all-in move, right here.
This is a rental because he's gonna be a free agent.
They weren't all in before this.
Well, he's gonna be a free agent after the season,
so this is a rental.
Like, this is all in.
I love a rental, I do.
This show is leading the conversation
about the Florida Panthers,
but maybe not so much Roy.
I just Googled Florida Panthers
just to see what the hell we're talking about here.
And Chris Cody is quoted in this Axios Miami article.
This is very disrespectful Axios.
You should be quoting Roy Bellamy
for all Levitard show hockey takes it says
Blah blah blah Florida made the Stanley Cup final blah blah what they're saying quote
This is the best team in this market since the big three proclaimed Chris Cody of the Dan
I said that show with Stu gots and then there's a quote from from Mike Ryan after that it is so disrespect me that article
I got you
Mike wasn't here yesterday Roy wasn't here yesterday. Roy wasn't here yesterday.
That's Michael Cosm of my career.
Thank you everybody.
No, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
That's not even, that is my career.
You agree with me though, right?
Best team since the big three?
Yes.
Okay, Roy.
Roy just needs to make grandiose statements
like Chris and Mike make,
but he's too well informed to do the kind of hot takey thing that the
Rest of us do Jessica. Thank you. Thank you for explaining Roy better and more and just better than anyone's ever explained him because this is the
predicament that Roy is in
It's the predicament because the world is already I don't want to make him a victim
But the world is already tilted against him because as soon as hockey gets good, who can we quote?
Let's go to Chris Cody and Mike Ryan.
Huck boys.
You're in black history. The end of black history.
Not the guy who's covering the team, not the guy with the credential.
Not the guy who-
Again with the credential.
It's not just a credential. Roy, one day, will have a plaque in that arena that may one day be a championship arena because he's been there since the beginning. But what Roy is lacking is flashy and splashy quotes.
Well, thank you, but it's not just that.
What I would say to you is, Roy, I think we need to do a new thing where we allow, because
the audience doesn't want to hear about Florida Panthers hockey.
If they do, they will find it.
They can find you.
You're doing a very nice job on occasional Fridays covering this team well, and there's
real expertise there, and you have more room to work, but I got to tell the
audience and all of you here. Roy works here very respectfully for many, many
years, respecting the spaces where it is that people talk, but in this one
instance, he needs some pizazz that he does not have naturally, so I think
wherever Roy's hockey analysis goes,
it follows with us chanting,
in unison, the one, two, three, four, six of us,
puck, fuck.
Puck, puck, puck, puck.
A little low so he can cook.
So break it down again, Roy.
So Roy, so just explain again so that we can make this
just a bit snazzier so that the league knows what's been announced yesterday with finances and
The alert that's been sounded in the NHL and two countries Canada because we're here for you, too
The swamp in the Everglades haven't taken the sport from Tampa, which took it from you before and
finished South Florida's soul
Announced yesterday via trade that the Florida Panthers
are here to beat everyone else in the NHL.
Roy, speak on it.
The Florida Panthers are the best team in the league
and they're gonna win a Stanley Cup this year.
Wow!
Plain and simple.
This move, getting Blana Militia Sanco,
only makes their forward staff a lot deeper.
And they may get more forwards.
I'm surprised they're not going after the defensemen,
but they may get deeper in the forward situation.
So they're the best team in the league.
They're gonna win a Stanley Cup championship this year.
Look at that, Lucy, an excellent,
a turn of the Paxel.
Lucy, an excellent choice by you.
Yes, it is because this is an exciting time and if you think it's annoying now, wait until the playoff start.
And everybody in hockey hates the Panthers and Roy's at the microphones on occasional Fridays with David Dwork.
Every Friday.
Now, when? Are you... wait.
Yes, every Friday.
Are you announcing something? No, it's
As calendar year really no no it's been some Fridays after games before games
We don't know when it's gonna be you know, no, no, that's the post game show
The logo behind you yes, which is now puck boys Roy look. Thank you
Just I'd like the audience to know,
because Roy will one day have a plaque in that facility
and he wishes for it to be a championship facility
because Roy,
Roy's getting a plaque?
Roy enjoys spending money on the company time
to go visit hockey lore because he cares about hockey
more than just about everything except Claire,
I think, Claire and Bourbon.
What's the list?
It's Claire, Anid, Alcohol, and Float of Hands is Hockey. Okay, so your fandom is bigger than everyone else's.
I did pay for dinner.
And they're in ass.
This is the biggest expectations Roy has ever had
for a hockey team.
This is the most...
He did say it last year that they wanted to. This is the most... did say it last year that this is the most reason. Yeah, it
doesn't mean a year before he wanted all the smoke, but he
did want all the smoke on the Bruins and he's the only one who
wanted all the smoke on the Bruins and then you beat the
Bruins. Yeah, being down 31 was pretty precarious. But imagine
to create the upset. So yeah, I'm happy where we are right now.
Best team elite. elite okay so there
it is joy from Roy there it is that's as joyous as he's ever been I've ever
seen him it's real and true happiness he will have his heart broken in the first
round no not the first round not the first hopefully witty has his heart
broken in the first round well tell me what's going on with him Jessica what
was he on the call last night what we only have the rights to God's here I
think to the audio we do not have right the rights to the video how was
the call of witty on the game witty has arrived at genuine superstardom he's
doing the best games he's risen in his career very quickly he's the voice of
soccer and you recognize the voice on the broadcast and you've recognized him
last night well so yes and I don't think we do have the rights for this, but we're gonna get away
with it.
So here's Witty calling the final save of the US Women's National Team game.
Taking on the responsibility of leading this new era in the women's national side.
The game at her feet.
Save for a third time by Nair!
She saved three, she converted one, Alistair has almost single-handedly
set the United States and the women's gold cup final.
So proud of him.
I'm so happy for him, he's so good.
Trader.
But the Raiders side is ridiculous
and I say that as a Rangers fan
and a Blackhawks fan and a Penguins fan
and I'll be a Panthers fan if they win the stand. Why'd you become a Rangers fan?
I went to a couple games when I lived in New York.
And that makes you a fan?
It's the bread man.
The fact that Whitty has become a Rangers fan inspired song.
You're Matthew Trader, Doberto, for a brand new love, and I'm like Kajuck, you. Your name is Chris, winning and you said it wasn't enough, I'm like Kajuck, you.
It's crazy, you disper, hey gay, Lombard's digging in in my gear
You pick Trocek, well I'm rolling with Barke
The panwagon don't need you here
You miss on Matthew, all they do for you
Well he's a gold kidder, winning game is so bitter
I got some news for you
Coward, go tell your little New York friends
You're meant to trade it over dough for a brand new love
And I'm like a Chuck U
Your name is Chris Winning M, you said it wasn't enough
I'm like a Chuck U, a Chuck U times two
You slept with a stranger that knew your grangers I
Hit in the penis. It's a great song, Joyce, man. I, Stugatz, that was an amazing song for a number of different reasons, but I'm not kidding you, Stugatz, when I tell you, and I think you felt the same thing, and I'm not
sure anyone else in that room could feel quite this, and I felt it off Stugatz, so I can't
speak for him here because this this
part was palpably moving to me. I remember the first time we played Chris
Whittingham having any kind of call of a game anywhere and he was doing it at the
campus radio station at the University of Miami at WVUM and he must have been
18 years old and I remember playing the call and saying then,
with you on the air,
that kid is gonna do whatever he wants in this business.
That call was amazing.
To watch him and listen to him doing soccer,
and also the full heel turn of Godwitty, you're a dick.
Good job, kid.
The full heel turn of I'm Going Rangers fan, when you're the most wrong anyone's been in the history of the market on just being a dick about hockey
Like really witty off
No, really witty no, no you witty
No, no, fuck you, witty.
Hey friends, it's Mike Ryan and a lot has changed over the years.
But one thing that hasn't the great and dependable taste of Miller Lite.
It was the original light beer until this day. It is still the best one.
Miller Lite has more the taste you want and less of the stuff that you don't.
I was at a baseball game.
I love college baseball, especially this time year.
And thank goodness they had Millerlite on tap. I had a Millerlite and you know what I did? I have
to do this. Contractually. I take that first sip and then I look around. Mmm, taste buds, electrified.
Yeah, Millerlite, you were always the right call. And that's why I love you so much.
Then I turned to my friend and I had a great conversation. Oh, Miller Lite, you grease the rails
for a good conversation better than anybody.
I love you, Miller Lite, you keep everything so simple.
Times change, but you can always enjoy
the great taste of Miller Lite.
Tastes like Miller time.
To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door,
visit MillerLite.com slash Dan,
or you can pretty much find it anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
96 calories per 12 ounces.