The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Hockey Hands

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

Scottie Upshall, host of Missin' Curfews and former Florida Panther, joins the show to break down the Stanley Cup, staying loose AND tight, hockey hands, and more. Then, you may want to watch the show as Jess gets her certificate for her new Cuban education, Mike provides a Lionel Messi update, and our video team plays a game with the new Bill Simmons meme. Plus, Mike Schur makes his brave return to the show to share his real thoughts on his favorite team losing Game 7. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Welcome to the big suite, presented by Giraffe King. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, that face and the habitual liar. I don't even need to hear from the audience to know that the audience does not like our Panther interviews. Hockey players tend to be pretty terrible as...

Stop doing that! Stop doing this! God damn it, stop doing this! They've honestly been good. You have to start every segment with negative feedback. It's not endearing, it's just why noise at this point. Sam's kinda right. You're, hey, you can go back to the Freedom Tower.

No, I think that we have drowned this show a little bit in the stuff that is our self-involvement, and that's okay, but I love the Panthers, and I love their stories, but the hockey guys have to be so careful with the media, it's annoying. Yeah, name three Panthers songs. Name three Panthers songs. Name three Panther songs. Scotty Upshall with us. Is there one about Kurtz that are one about Cardiver

Hagee? Is there a song about him? I did turn my swag on. That's his goal song. Name three goal songs. Ask Scotty Upshall. Can you name three goal songs? Scotty Upshall, the host of the mission. The missing curfew podcast. he's with former NHL player Shane O'Brien and he's not one of the boring hockey interview guys That's definitely right Dan. Thanks for having me on it's a pleasure as the second time So thank you Exciting times ahead a lot of goal songs gonna be played which ones. I don't know you know, I made it's like a walk-up tune I used to go with like a Jay Z, like, um, you know, something, something to fire the guys up, but, uh, I don't know what they're playing down in Florida.

I'm going to find out this weekend though, because I'm coming in for, uh, for some action. So blank one 82 is what we play. No, no, no, we, we, yeah, well, now we do that. Did you know that we started the tradition of singing all the small things, acapella? that's ours now. Yeah, okay. That's us. Paying ownership of that,

because Colorado used it last year, so. Man, I thought, I mean, she's the outfit. Jump it on the Panther's bandwagon. Scotty, you played through some lean Florida Panther years. You know how this market kind of approached hockey. Can you just talk about how different playing in sunrise was compared to the rest of the league? I don't think people understand that NHL players can live

pretty anonymously in Florida. Is that an appeal? Even? Well, it depends. It depends how hard it is to get from from Miami early, early in the mornings up to sunrise when you're down there enjoying the finer things in life. So it gets tricky. It gets tricky. The 95 gets a little clogged up and the hangover is real. So it's difficult. It's difficult.

But Florida, listen, I think South Florida is a great place to live, which is why you guys do your show there I'm sure you guys are enjoying life And hockey's a great sport and the fans love it and right now you're seeing all the fans come out and they're They're kind of getting what they you know what they've always been there for why they always show up to these games and Sunrise It's to hopefully see their team one day play for the Stanley Cup and that's what they got around the corner and I'm gonna come in and check it out. I hope you guys are there too. Can you put it historically in some sort of perspective for us? What it is for for people who don't understand how absurd it is for seven games in seven games left

in the regular season. They don't have a gold tender. Anyone trusts. There's no way they're going to do anything. And then you look up and they're smoking through the playoffs. Dan, I look back at this run that the Florida Panthers are having and it's hard to really duplicate it or find another kind of Cinderella story of taking down Goliath in the first round down 3-1. I mean, we just saw it in basketball with the heat and Celtics. I mean, coming back in a series is extremely difficult, almost impossible. And what the Florida Panthers did to get into the playoffs that last like month stretch into, you know, taking down the big boys, record setting, Boston Bruins to, you know, coming in and beating the Toronto

Maple Leafs. And for, I'm sure you guys got some, some pretty loyal Canadian fans there. It is, that was a stinger boy. South Florida beaten kick in Toronto Maple Leafs ass. And then it was. And then, you know, listen, these guys are running on a high. South Florida is fun right now. As you guys know, like this time of year, things get pumping. You get F1, you get the Miami heat on a roll. I mean, good things are happening there. And this is a Cinderella story in the making. I love what their teams all about. I love the way they play. I love them touching that trophy the other day. And they're just vibing and you can't blame me for it. Could you compare this to the Blues Cup run because the Blues in that season were dead last and they ended up winning the cup. So just yes, but that sort of adversity was a little different

if you ask me. It was, you know, that was come January. These guys got on a roll and they, yeah, you know, they went into the playoffs on a on kind of a high, you know, the Florida Panthers needed teams to lose in the last couple games to get in. Like they had Pittsburgh lose to Chicago. I know that because it's stung. It was about minus 470 on the old, uh, funnical Vegas line. And that's stung a lot of people, not only Sydney, Crosby, uh, and the Pittsburgh ping pong but, but listen, they needed everything to fall in place.

And now they're here and they've deserved everything they've got. And four wins away from a Stanley cups a lot closer than I've ever got. So, you know, this, these boys are going to enjoy these next couple weeks. How do you think the Panthers spent this last week when you have a long layoff and you're trying to keep momentum going? Are they doing like wacky stuff around the ring just to stay loose and stay tight? I mean, what's going on? I got to have to put this away.

It can't be both. Which one is it staying loose? Stainless? Stainless mentally, but staying tight is a group. Okay. All right. Oh, wow. Good pivot. Good. Good pivot there. Yeah. Geez, boys. That's got to know what you guys think goes on in a hockey dressing room there. But um, smell is bad, bad, many, many bad smells. One of the worst smelling places on earth. That is. But you got to give credit to the trainers now. They actually washed the gear back in the day when the kids or guys leave men's league hockey. That's disgusting. You get home with those hockey hands and that's not perfect. But listen, you never shake the scent of hockey hands. You cannot ask your

girlfriends that it's not it's that stench stays for a long time. It's not perfect, but you can't get away without being that you know they'll call you out from you know six feet away because they know you play hockey with those with that foul smell. But listen, these guys are pros and I would say they've had a little bit of fun the last couple of weeks. They probably golfed you know this last week. They probably got out you know enjoyed time

with their families. It's been aggrined. And now they're back to work. I mean, they start tomorrow in Vegas. They're out there right now. They're probably setting up shop, getting ready for that first puck drop. And they know that this is going to be the time of their lives. And they got to kind of seize that, seize that moment and take advantage of it.

What was a post game spot for you after a Panther game in sunrise? Did you hit up the oasis? It saw Grass Mills. Did you hit up the oasis at Sawgrass Mills? Did you hit up a plan against elbow room? Did you make the drive out there like that? Tell me what was a plan early nights, too, right? Last call was early all over there for hockey players. It sure is sunrise wasn't much of a Scotty upshall spot to hang out.

I tell you I used to go there for the games and that was about it. I would be convincing my teammates. I lived down in Fort Lauderdale. I lived on Los Olas not too far from that river wall. I used to go to the boys that place was alive and well when I was there. Tarpen Bend. Do you still have the Tarpen Bend chip still

if you go through some old gym? It's not Tarpen Bend anymore. Some jeans. No, it's like the only thing that's around there is components. The whole area is dead. I used to go to moderanos, Cafe moderanos. Oh, the meatballs.

That's ridiculous. Wait a minute. Wait, so people understand, you're going to a small Italian restaurant that has about 11 tables. The sopranos is playing on all the cameras, on all the televisions and Steve is DJing. And the chef is DJing.

That's where you're going. That's in a strip mall. You're damn right, Levy. That's exactly where we're going. And you'll tell you why, because all the cougars were hanging out in there. And there was some nice wine list. And after the game, you go for a little chicken parm

and you know, you got the suit on, you're feeling pretty good. And why not go enjoy it with some of South Florida's finest? and after the game you go for a little chicken parm and you know you got the suit on you're feeling pretty good and And why not go enjoy it with some of South Florida's finest never never a flanagan's huh never rock and ribble you're hearing him He's putting on a suit. He's putting on a suit to party. Yeah, but a little green cup Sometimes you want to just trash it up and get a green cup That would be late night. I know those places would stay open really late. Yeah, Do you know there's only two hours at Flanagan's? It's not happy hour. But on the poll, please at Levitade Show, did you know that there are only two hours at Flanagan's that are not happy hour?

Kachak, can you please explain to me whether you thought this was possible that did anyone think this was possible where you're talking about a guy who oh wait a minute all of a sudden I feel like all of a sudden best in the sport second I know but yeah but you're best American in the sport yeah which is pretty crazy you're not wrong best American in the sport arguably best player in the playoffs uh who doesn't wear goli pads um what i would i will say about maddie kichak is that he's always played with an edge. He's always been highly skilled but relied more on his edge like that that

you that mentality that he was going to go out and beat you whether it was in the corner and in front of the net. And then we had him on our podcast about a year ago when he got traded and to see the excitement in his eyes and in his voice about this opportunity that laid ahead to build something cool in Florida. And he already believed back then that they had this team that could go on a run. So the confidence mixed with the skill, mixed with the drive and the way he plays, I mean, it's perfect. It's a great thing to build a team around and this kid, he's doing it, having fun. You know, you look at his dad, the way his dad played, his dad was a big body.

Keith Kachuck was a, he was a badass, hard to play against. Now you look at Maddie and Brady, these two kids are having fun. They've been around hockey their whole lives. And it would be pretty special that family to have one of them hoist the cup. And it looks like Maddie's just around the corner and could be the first one. The missing curfew podcast, if you want more hockey information, if you want to get a little bit smarter on things and if you want to know how to avoid losing the game where you're minus 475, can you please explain to me in a minute or less players of your era and what it is that you mean to have that FU in you.

I want to know who had the most FU in him. Oh, man, it's something that you can't teach, right? So you guys, you guys are professionals. You guys all have an edge on, uh, on other broadcasters out there and other personalities. It's, it's when you look across the table, whether you're playing poker against someone, you know, you're going to beat them or you're on the ice. And, you know, there's, there's 10 seconds left and

you need to get that puck from this guy in score goal. It's, that's what the intangibles are. I look at guys that I played against and, you know, Patrice Bergeron is one like he would, he would never lose a battle. He'd look at you and be like, I'm going to beat you. And then you look at like Steve Iserman, for example, a guy always looked up to these guys were champions, but because they had this drive that they were going to never lose. And that's how you got to win the Stanley Cup these days. And that's how you got to be an elite player.

Scottie, thank you for being on with us out of just curiosity. I don't know how this works in hockey. We've got fewer than 30 seconds left. Will you be Scotty as a 90 year old? Will people call you Scotty? It'll never become Scot? No, it's not. Dan, no, my dad was Scotty. I'm Scotty, and that's the way that's what I'm sticking to it. And my little guy now will carry on the Scotty middle name.

I gave it to him. So it's going to be Scotty at 90, boys. I hope you guys get a chance to hang out too with me and Obi. We'd love to have you guys. Oh, I'll be. We're going to be in South Florida next week. Es que es un escadil en 90, amigos. Espero que te dan la chance de estar en el ojo con mi y mi obi. Pero lo que les guste es que... ¡Oh, yo me guste! ¡Vamos a ser el mismo! ¡Vamos a ser el mismo! ¡Vamos a la flanía!

Sí. ¡Vamos a ser un escadil, se me va a ser un escadil, rellas, adiós y adiós en el ojo! ¡Vamos a ser un escadil! ¡Sí, sí! ¡Vamos a ser un escadil! ¡Vamos a ser un escadil! ¡Vamos a ser un escadil!

Hola, alguien me escucha. Necesito ayuda. Estoy en Barcelona y las criaturas están por todas partes. A raíz, ¡blook! ¡A raíz! ¡Escucheis lo que escuchéis! ¡Tapos los ojos! La calle vamos todos a cieras, pero lo más aterrador es no saber en qué confiar. Uy de las personas que os piden que mireis, sí queréis seguir convido. I'm going to keep on going with you. And then you get three friends. And then you're making money off the ones they sell. Ha ha, Amirah. Stugats. And he's tanked.

The more friends, the more you make friends. Amirah. This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats. I've been handed here a very formal certificate to sign. Hopefully I could not hear. I can only see what Jessica and Tony were doing when they visited the Freedom Tower after Jessica forced us as a company and as a Cuban population in Miami to have a teaching moment. A little A little learning moment about what Cuban culture is. If I may defend myself for one second, I did quickly glance at a black and white photo and say the wrong name

But it was an important learning moment like you said. I'm glad that we did it because Dan I have one thing to say to you now Libertat! Libertat! Libertat! Libertat! Yes, excellent! Yes, excellent! That's right!

That's right! I learned about the freedom tower. I learned about Operation Federal Fan. Yes, that's true. That's true. That's true. No, no. I learned about the freedom tower. I learned about the operation, federal fun. I learned so many things from Tony, and I really appreciate the opportunity to learn from you guys, because that's what I'm here for. I made a mistake, and I was wrong.

We don't need apologies for this stuff we are not taking. This is all I want from Woody on the mat you could chuck for him, too. Also C-sections. I was just going to say that. Woody should apologize. He needs to apologize for telling Jessica about Cisarean. He did, he did on air the next day, but still hold them back on that mat you could chuck capitulation.

I've noticed that and all the Panther capitulation. But before I get to this certificate that they want me to sign, I have a couple of things to tell you about the merch store because we've got now, we finally, do we finally have athletics or analytics? Asalitics is up there and a shirt that is flying off shells that don't actually exist. The Matthew could chuck Jimmy Butler Spider-Man meme shirt. It is taking over the country. And or at least the county. How are the Udonis Haslam shirt selling because don't have those athletics at my disposal.

Right. But a 3% chance the heat had of winning the last series. That's, it is it, it's better this time. Correct. It's like an 11% chance this 11% chance, which is still really insulting to us. Who came up with athletics? By the way, was it you, Donas? Or was it someone on the show? Because- Well, it was my question. That should be trademarked. That, I think that's really gonna actually take on. Athletics, you don't-

Yeah, this is good stuff, video team. Do the DVD loading screen with Bill Simmons? Say, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh Shut down shut down shut down Here we go Let's go eat let's go eat I need to explain to the audience that might not be watching that I got it On video or the social media audience I might not be watching us or listening to us I was interrupted maybe this goes without saying Interrupted by video our video team that has taken three days with the power going out to get me What I've wanted for three days, which is just that Bill Simmons picture so we can play with it. And finally, after Mike Ryan asked for that picture, it was supposed to just be on the screen small and then Mike opened his hands and became magically giant.

And then it started bouncing across the screen and nobody had any control over the Bill Simmons picture anymore. And so the enthusiasm you just heard was the Bill Simmons photo ponging around the screen, like an old game of 1970s pong, which is what this show is starting to feel like video what until it got to Mike Ryan's face landed where it was supposed to. And finally, we got a video payoff. I thought I was dated with a DVD screen reference pong. You mean pink pong?

No, the original video game. The original video game pung Wow, that video team is getting really good. Yes, so Speaking of which Mike, there's now video of Pablo Torre watching the weirdness that was that South Beach session with David Samson who we have a conflicted relationship with as a Company and that South Beach session was very popular and it it moved people and bother people and made people call me a bully Pablo is now watching it as metal-arc Therapist he is sort of doing some of the translations on on what that conversation was and so people can get that as

They can get many things. I'm assuming at our YouTube channel But not the merch they can't get the merch at the you they can get the things I'm assuming at our YouTube channel, but not the merch. They can't get the merch at the YouTube channel. They can get the merch at levitardaf.shop. Levitardaf.shop is where you find. And if you want to get our YouTube page, if you saw us just go viral on Twitter or something like that or listening exclusively on Pod, just do a Google YouTube levitard show. It'll take you right to our page,

subscribe on that thing. Tony, can you explain to me what this said defecado of scholastic achievement is that I am to proudly present to Jessica here? Yeah, Dan, it was a learning experience for me teaching somebody our history, right? And Jessica being an excellent student and really learning everything also in Spanish,

because I did the entire thing in Spanish. I didn't think she was gonna pick up on it, but she kept nodding her head and was like, oh, okay, she's really locked in here. I explained to her the bronze statue that we have out there of Pedro Bão. I explained how freedom towers basically like Ellis Island for Cubans, there's a Cuban flag up top,

we tried to break in a couple of times, very fortified place by the way. Oh wait, it's up top. We tried to break in a couple times. Very fortified place, by the way. Oh, wait, it's not open. Not open. The rate of power is close to the public. And also almost became the place where Tony was going to get arrested because he did trespass. So it would have been like,

as a heavy word, I was standing on something that probably not. Close to the public for now, though. It's got museum traits. I think the Santa's port a bunch of money for repairs and there that was originally a newspaper and then it became uh... it was originally a place where newspaper freedom was represented and then cuban freedom was represented but so here it says on the certificate i will sign this thank you down it says i

am the chancellor of metal arc meeting i am not but it says anthony he needs to sign as well because he's the professor of East Odea, Guano. Oh, beautiful. I'll go in there then. For completion of the walking tour of La Historia de Guano, Cidolo Mi Hente, in downtown Miami, presented by Anthony, the SDS, Caladria, this certificate supersedes all diplomas and certificates presently by any university, including Notre Dame and Cuisine.

Can you sign that please? Can you sign that, please? Can you sign that? Was it signed? I signed it. It signed. All right, Tony. Can you sign that, too? Oh, yes. Congratulations, Jessica. DSD is a great wrestling name if you ever want to get into pro wrestling. 10 days. Yes, DS. No, but DSD as. Let's go check. Congratulations, Jessica. We're all very proud of you. Yeah, very proud, very proud. Hey, I've got a major scoop for you, Dan.

Well, Mike, you've been on this, okay? I've noticed the last couple of days that there are a whole lot of people. You've been on top of this messy story, more than anybody in national or international media, all of your information has been correct. All of the big wogies of soccer everywhere around the world are following you. And then they change the story. They get parts of the story wrong. You have been not just parts then, then a lot of reputable reporters have been very wrong on this. So we do have news on the Lionel Messi front. It's that PSG has announced themselves via their manager.

Boy, they are salty about this right now. They have announced that Lionel Messi will not be returning to PSG. This is something that had been reported. That was at 90% done, 90% completed months ago that this was an afterthought and he is no longer returning to PSG. So where does Lionel Messi go Dan? How the hell should I know where my Lionel Messi is going to go you keep telling me that

he's going to be choosing he's that Miami is a legitimate choice in Miami that Miami continues to be continually confident in a way that people aren't believing they can't believe it. And was it, was it tab, ta bramos that came out yesterday and said, hey, Miami's a real thing. Yeah, Miami has always been a real thing. And I don't know why Fabrizio refuses to even acknowledge them.

Here is the very latest on the Lionel Messi front. There have been reports out there that suggest that Lionel Messi will be deciding soon. I can tell you that that is the case. People in Inter Miami are expecting a decision very, very soon. I'm talking about in the coming days, we will finally have in into the Lionel Messi transfer saga where he will choose. I don't know.

I know that Barcelona has been out there in the mix, but Barcelona does a really good job of hijacking the media and getting them to push this agenda so they don't actually have to take the blame for financial fair play regulations and just put it on LaLiga. Look, we try to get Lionel Messi, but they wouldn't allow us to.

So that's usually how Barcelona plays this game. There are reports out there that Barcelona is trying to team up with Inter Miami and having agreement in which Barcelona would get Lionel Messi loaned in. I haven't heard anything about that. All I know is that communication between Lionel Messi and Inter Miami has been very regular and very recent and they're expecting a decision in the coming days whether it'll be Saudi Arabia, that Lionel Messi chooses, whether it'll be Inter Miami, that Lionel chooses, I don't know. But what is interesting here is that the Saudi Arabian season just wrapped up. The European season just wrapped up. The MLS season is ongoing. Why is Inter Miami being told that a decision is coming now? When

Lionel Messi could prolong this a little bit throughout the summer, lead up a little bit closer to the seasons of the Saudi Arabian League and Europe. Something to keep an eye on there. I'm not going to make a prediction, but what I can tell you with 100% certainty is inner Miami is one of a few clubs that is very much alive in this and is a part of this decision that is coming soon. And what I would say to you is that it would make sense if Lionel Messi and his management team were doing the economics of this last part of our career with all the leverage from the very top. We've done everything. There's nothing left to accomplish.

Do we cash in and just grab all of the money, all of the Saudi money, or do we go equity with partners like Apple and MLS and build something giant? A deed is an apple. They certainly want Lionel Messi over here. I think the decision isn't that he's going to end his career over in Saudi Arabia. I don't think that that's going to happen. The scenario that they're playing with right now,

that in my aim, he's been preparing for, is he comes here immediately? Or it's a year in Saudi Arabia and then he comes here I think it's best for the game if Obviously here in the states that it happens now But what you might be looking at here in the national landscape of a sports town that many people don't think deserve it Is you'll have the hockey team in the finals you'd have the NBA team in the finals and potentially in the middle of all that Lionel Messi will be making a decision,

and he could be picking South Florida as well. You'd be nuts though to think that this person isn't thinking the way Brady and LeBron do about brand management and hundreds of millions of dollars that they can get, like a billion dollars is hard to turn out. I know, but they can get it anywhere in a lot of different ways and build the equity. These guys are about to start competing in the ownership

markets, like the most equity he would get is if he does a deal right now, because evaluation will go up on and remind me the second shovels going around. These stars understand that they want to own things. They don't want to be employees anymore. They don't want to be renters. They want to own Don Lebertard. So like, there was a time that, and I'll tell you who this person is that I admired. And I said, that'd be a great career for me. Ryan Seacrest. I still gots.

And then to take it a step further, you know, just a couple weeks ago, James Corden was stepping down and he said, you know, it'd be a great replacement for him. Me, I could do that. I could replace James Corden, right? I agree with you on that. If I don't have to move to LA and I could just do this somewhere near the Tammy Emmy area,

like they have an old theater that's kind of abandoned right now, maybe we do something there. I mean, people like to come to my annual K-Mart into your late late show studio. Yeah, I said I didn't even think about that. Wow, that's a theater right there. This is the Don Limita Show with this two cats. Are you good? This is the Don Limiter Show with this two-gats. I can't really put my thing around but are you good the podcast I think it's the pause cast I am very pause the pause cast

Right that was my type of joke Tony were we rolling on that no Unfortunately for Tony won't have to suffer that indignity red socks last night Red socks are struggling I heard are you okay the red socks have been struggling Mac Jones is the red socks have been yes That's a good observation about Boston sports. Yeah, there are the hey the reps are playing well Bruce arenas turn things around over there You have heal heal's been a really good player for you guys. Did you miss shoes to coming up? Yeah Well, I will kick it over Dan, but you know just chicken in I could I just say that your Genuine concern for my health and happiness is is heartwarming. Yeah, no, I'm just It's radiating off of you how genuine this is. Mm-hmm anything new anything new in your life really focused on that

My sure where have you been? We've all been wondering where you've been, and I've missed you a great deal. Your metal arc employee, you are a daily employee, you're working harder than just about anybody. There's been a writer's strike, and I've missed you.

I imagine right now, you look radiant, you look, you look like somebody. Considering. No, he looks like somebody who is healthy. Where have you been? And you don't look as miserable as I thought you would look. I'm not miserable. I'm fine.

Thank you for asking. I have been busy. I've been walking in circles with my brethren to strike the companies that pay us in the name of equal pay, good pay and future jobs for our industry. I've obviously had, as you well know, it's been a rough time for me personally in terms of my sports fandom. I don't know, I don't know what do you want me to say. Let's just take care of this right off the top. It sucked, okay? That's the answer you're looking for. It sucked. It was a bad way for the season to end.

A team loses game seven at home. That sucks. There were very high expectations. I think the roster was deeper and in many ways better than the team they were playing. As you have all pointed out, it has been actually a long time since my team has won anything. And so to get all the way to game seven and then lose like that, yeah, on your home court, it sucked, I'm not gonna lie, but here's the thing. And here's why maybe you sense some optimism or happiness or radiance for me, is because everyone's talking about

like what happens in the off season, I'll tell you what happens, you run it back. That's what happens. This roster is great, and I think next year, Dair and Fox might take a leap. I think Keegan Murray has a season under his belt. Mike Brown has settled in. I am genuinely excited for next year.

And next year, I guarantee we're light in the beam. We're going all the way. It was such a heartbreaking way to lose at the end though, to be. I know. It totally was. And look, I thought we had Golden State. I thought we had them. Like, we won the first two games at home and it was like oh they're gonna do it they're gonna overcome they're gonna climb this mountain and then

Look they're the warriors champions for a reason and so they came back in one what are you gonna do? And it sucked but I'm very optimistic for next year and I think I think they're gonna do it next year So I call this a guarantee right now. My team, my beloved team, my Sacramento Kings next year and BH champions. Yeah. And they got your hopes up with that electric game six. And yeah, it's gotta be tough. Yes, I know.

And look, it sucked. What do you want me to say? It was a tough blow. But on behalf of everybody, Juju and everybody else in King's nation, guarantee right now. Guarantee. You win game six though on the road when everybody was preparing to doubt you. Everybody was ready to say that that's not a game you can win against something that feels like championship confidence and

metal. Yeah, I know. No one believed in us. That's the thing. And by the way, I was the one who was saying the whole time. I was like, look, we can't take this team for granted. They may not have had the best road record in the NBA this year. They may not look like it much, but when it comes to the playoffs, you know how tough

they are in the playoffs. and I unfortunately was right. So, you know, look, it's again, tough blow. I don't, I don't really have any, there's no, there's no light at the end of the tunnel this year. You were so confident, though, you were so confident going into game seven for a good reason, reason for very good reason I was confident because I had watched the team all year and I knew what they were capable of and Yeah, I I was confident and I truly believe they were gonna get it done and they didn't get it done

What are you gonna do? It's sports man? You know what? That's in a weird way dad. And that's what makes sports great, isn't it? Your pain, yeah. Mike's, Mike. By the way, whoever's controlling the Simmons is very quick on the draw. Ah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, outplay Jalen Brown, do not. Cause Dan's done it plenty. Do not mention Jason Tatum's ankle.

Do not mention Jason Tatum's ankle. I bet I didn't, you did. Here's how we're gonna do this. Every time you say something like this, I have called up a random number generator on my phone. And I've entered the numbers one in 200 because he had a one in 200 chance of getting Wombonata and Tony and Mike thought that the heat should tank the play in game in order to get Wombonata. So every time you say something annoying, I'm going

to simulate an NBA draft and see if you guys got Wombonata as Mike and Tony want to do. So here we go. Oh, and the way we'll do this is if it lands on 16, which is Caleb Martin's uniform number, you guys get Womboniana. So here we go. Okay. Random number. Nope. Nope.

You didn't get Womboniana. Sorry. That's fine. You can. Yeah. You had several days to cope with this. You can talk to us. But please put me there after Derek White hits the buzzer, be there.

Everything that you believed about the Miami Heat season and then being the Boogeyman had to have come to an end right then and there and you thought you were doing it. You didn't get Womba Niana. Uh, I was, what do you think? What do you put you there? I was thrilled. That was an all-time playoff when he was incredible. How many texts from Michael Malley? The series to game seven. What's that? How many texts from Michael Malley? Uh, 111. You didn't get Womba Niana. from Michael Malley. The series to game seven. What's that? How many texts from Michael Malley? 111, you didn't get one by Neonah. There were a lot. Did you read that one of your group texts with Celtics fans after games?

No, no. My pain is not, for your, it's like exploitative purposes. No, I'm not gonna do that. Just send me a screen cup. You can cross up an angel. 41, you didn't get one by Neonah again. No, I'm not giving, I'm not giving up. You can cross up on any time. Or you didn't get one banana again. No, I'm not giving, I'm not gonna exploit my pain and my friends' pain for your happiness.

And also for the millionth time, the only person at Metal Arc Media who believed in your team was me. You can't do this to me. You can do it to anyone else you want. Do it to any other Celtic fan you want. You cannot do it to me. I'm not going to tell me you're supposed to Christopher mince class text please just it wasn't

thirty seven which is the number that i just got on my random number generator we didn't get one by me on you keep telling us all the times we didn't get women yama and i will keep asking you questions because i was very happy for you after game six weirdly i was happy for you after game six. Weirdly, I was happy for you because I was surprised that that one hit me and hurt. I was legitimately surprised that I felt hurt. And if there was one shining thing, it was, well, Mike gets to have an all-time moment.

And now that all-time moment, though, is forgotten forever. And now Mike does have an all-time sports moment. One 90, You didn't get one banana. Here's the thing. That moment, like, was it wasn't worth the the loss. Certainly, you didn't even come close to making up for it. But a lot of things were going on in that game that no one is talking about. First of all, Kayla Martin was the MVP of the series. Everybody knows it. The fact that they gave it to Jimmy Butler's absurd. Butler was pretty bad in game five.

He straight up sucked in game six. He scored 10 or 11 or 12 points or whatever in the last few minutes. Was that your observation or dain cooks? Just, just tell me. 22, you didn't get Wombayana. Was it a license? Dushkuse.

134, you didn't get Wombayana. The, the, the, you have racked up a gift rack up $70 and finds pronouncing his name incorrectly by the way you always $70. How do you pronounce John Krasinski? Did I get it right? Well, we're his thoughts you didn't get him. The Butler was batting game six on with a chance to close out

that series at home. He was straight up bad. He was five for 21 from the field. Any crime face emotions from Maria Manunoz. 172. You didn't get him. The fact that they gave it to Butler was just pure like narrative stuff and it sucked. If I were Caleb are going to be furious. Did Donnie Walper leave the chat? 107. You didn't get him. I think that the the 2007, you didn't get him. I think that the, the, the, the, the butler narrative now has gone from no one respects him enough to people respective too much.

He was not the best player in that series. They don't win that series without Caleb Martin. Bam was good defensively and terrible offensively, like straight up terrible offensively. And I don't, I, I am now at the point where after screaming about the heat all year and telling everyone Including you a bunch of Jamoke heat fans who would have no faith in your own team how good they were and how likely they were to do exactly What they've done I now have flipped and I now I feel like the nuggets are gonna win this series because I don't think the I just don't think the heat The Celtic figured out where to go out on a limb What was the voice know from Michael Chickles? Can you play it for me?

Can we have anything? Mike are you gonna give us anything because the misery of The banner we're hanging it. We've already won no matter what happens with the nuggets Yeah, we just get to have Boston not have their moment and we're basically as a franchise Cody Zeller. We're just getting in your way and hooray. I feel like the victory is already the victory. Everything after this is gravy and you broken is basically a giant win for us, but it's

got to be confusing to you to be so very right, so right about sports and it stinks that you're so very right about this. More right than anyone nationally, you can't even enjoy the ego of being right. It's not confusing. Like I had the, I had like, I honestly, I know you're not gonna believe me. The pain I felt was like, wasn't sharp.

It was like a dull ache. It was like a dull sadness, because I, again, knew what was going to happen I saw it coming the whole time. I didn't have any confidence at all even after winning game six and going home for game seven in Part because these two teams in the last couple playoff series they've had the away team wins every game like the Celtics are like 11 and 12 at home into the playoffs in the last couple years or whatever it is. And the specifically last year, as you may remember, the last three games were won by the road team, I think. So like I was I wasn't walking around confident

at all going into game seven. I assumed that the heat were going to win. So it wasn't like I didn't feel let down. I just felt like, yeah, this is kind of this sad outcome that I knew was going to happen. I don't believe you for a second. Did Bill Burke text FAC with a bunch of A's? I just did four simulations and you didn't get it. See you later, Mike. We love you. He seems to do you though. Do you I Do you I thought after you doubted our heat in the NBA finals how dare you I I love you and the only thing in the world that I love more than you is your pain You just got one banana

Did it it's all coming up roses.