The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: It's a Whole Megillah

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

Billy can't take another South Florida playoff run, and Stugotz is sick of renting cars. Then, it's time for the Stat of the Day...the LONG version. Plus, Jim Harbaugh is here to be the Guardian of Vi...ctory. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Welcome to the big suite, presented by Giraffe King. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants, just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
Starting point is 00:00:33 that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, that face and the habitual liar. The award-winning God Bless Football is about to take flight again. the season run. He wants his marlins to win, but he's scared of his marlins getting into the playoffs. Well, because here's the thing, right? It's been a fun season so far, but it always fizzles out around this point. So I'm like, yeah, like just let's make this as fun as long as possible.
Starting point is 00:01:18 And now we're here. And the marlins just keep kind of staying in it and may make the playoffs. And I don't know that emotionally, I can, it's been a year for all of us here down here in South Florida. The Panthers had a run, the Heat had a run, there was final four appearances. Like, just, there's been success at all. There's the fake cup that they won. Yeah. So there's like this whole, we don't need to get into messy.
Starting point is 00:01:41 It's a whole new gila. So there's all these things going on at the same time. And now the Marlins are like, maybe gonna do a postseason run just as football season starts. And like, I want them to do well. I want them to succeed. But like, I don't know that my body can take it. What's the play?
Starting point is 00:01:57 Like, you want them to do well. What are you talking about? Enjoy this. Billy, there are a few things better than an NFL Sunday followed by a little wild card baseball game at night. Like it's fans and you're part of it. You have a chance to be part of this, Billy. That's big.
Starting point is 00:02:10 You're a Marlon fan. Yeah, but my body. I know. Andrew headed into a season with Stugots and I don't know what the latest grifts are, but I always assume that if Stugots doesn't have a grift working, life is not fun unless he can create a grift. And I always think that there is something that he is up to that is shady at the very best. I don't know why he's been driving in with a automobile that has Texas plates on it for two weeks. Oh, I mean, what?
Starting point is 00:02:46 It's a whole McGillodam, but rental cars are just, my daughters are home from college. Now, one went back to Syracuse, the other one has trimesters at Northwestern, so she's still home, and so we needed a rental car, so I've been using rental cars, not stop. And I got to talk about rental cars for a second because there are two things on the rental car front. Number one, why is my rental car not ready when I fly and I travel a lot? Why is the
Starting point is 00:03:12 car not there when I arrive at the rental car place? That's number one. Number two is why are we waiting in long lines and why are we using antiquated printers that print out paper where you have to tear off the sides and with an actual pen you are exiting all the spots that I have to initial inside. Can we not do better? Can we not do better on the rental car front and budget fast breaker? Are you kidding me? That is a slow break.
Starting point is 00:03:40 It's the Celtics back in the 80s. It is aged bird and macaque coming down on a fast break. Budget fast break, my ass. Get out of here. I want the rental car to be ready for me when I get to my destination. So Stu got to start with the paper, the printing. I have a theory that they all bought like trillions
Starting point is 00:04:00 of pounds of this paper. And until it's done, they're not gonna transition. It's like, no, this paper's sitting here, we're using this paper. It did storage, we're using this ink. When it's done, we'll transition to iPads and just check this box here. I still don't have any clarity
Starting point is 00:04:19 on your car situation though. Like, it's very confusing because you've had... It sounds like he's got three cars and three people at the house now is what he needs a third car. So Billy, when the when the girls went to college, we, their leases expired. We brought the cars back. So we have two cars for two people. But you've been driving cars saying they're your daughter's cars. So you turn in your car to keep their car. We just turned in any two car. Whatever two cars were up at the
Starting point is 00:04:41 time. And so we have two cars for two people. When one of them is home, we have two cars, whatever two cars were up at the time. And so we have two cars for two people. When one of them is home, we have two cars for three people, which is an inconvenience for my wife or my daughter. So we get a rental car. Do they go out all day long that they need a car each? I was thinking about that. I mean, why can't they just split a car? Or hey, mom, drop me off. I mean, Rachel's going to various trainers getting ready for the lacrosse season and Abby. I don't know what she's doing. Stu got about the picking up your car. This is weird because I don't rent cars anymore,
Starting point is 00:05:11 but when I used to work at ESPN, I would fly to JFK and I rent a car and drive up to Bristol. I never had to wait for a car. You go, if you're part of like national or whatever, they've got like just pick a car, whatever car's in your class, it's right there in the lot. Just walk out a lot, pick one, drive off with it. Why are you? I think you're an organized traveler though. I think that you know what all your rewards are.
Starting point is 00:05:33 You know who, because you're a frequent traveler, you get all the VIP stuff. He's also a frequent traveler, buddy, sloppy, and he will not organize anything. So he's not getting any VIP drinks. You have to be spending like $5,000 a month on a rental car. You've had that rental car. You really fixated on the rental car.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Well, it just seems so inefficient and irresponsible. Well, you're probably right. But when I go to work, what I'm saying is Billy, there are two people on one car. So what are they supposed to do? Why can't T.U.B.R. Where does she go? Like, you live in a country club.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Right. You need to leave the country club for it. Don't they have any travels 30 minutes north? Is he a trainer every morning? She's in Buffalo training now. No, she wasn't Buffalo training and now she's back home. She doesn't leave for school until mid-September. And to answer Chris' question, yes.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I think you should just be working from home while she's here. I'm in. How long is it before we're not using paper and pens anymore? Never. That's never going away. Paper and pens is never going away because you can scribble a lot faster than you can type. For, well, I think that back.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Maybe evolution is gonna get us to a point where people don't know how to scribble. They just nod a type. Well, cursive is dying, correct? Curse it there. What's cursive know how old does a child have to be to not have any knowledge of what cursive handwriting even is. My 10 year old is doing it and I was like, why? That's your waist in your dog.
Starting point is 00:06:59 It's for signatures, right? That's all you need cursive for. Pretty much. What is cursive for anyways? We don't really need that. We never needed that. Exactly, fancy people in the 1800s want to show you how elegant they were.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Connected like the leather connected. Or the whole thing was that you didn't pick your pen up off the paper and I guess more efficient. It's more like drafting the declaration of independence. I don't need cursive. I'm with you on, I don't need to initial something 17 times. Can I just have the bottom of the doc document initial it and that I am I am Initialing this entire document right. I've read it. I don't need initial every line
Starting point is 00:07:34 That's besides the point that that happens a lot of the doctor's office you guys ever go to doctor's office Yeah, I'm like fill out this clipboard and it's like okay, I've yet this medical controller cool And then it's like you agree to have you had this medical control? All right, cool. And then it's like, you agree to pay. Okay, you agree to this. Guys, I just want to see the doctor. I don't want to sign a bunch of papers. What other medications are you taking?
Starting point is 00:07:53 If you list them all to pay in the S. What point do you think doctors stopped caring about patients? And it just became a business. The 80s. No, well, well, well. It was when most of the bad things started in this country. The wild card baseball games to gots are on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. You know what I mean, Dan, when your team's involved in the baseball playoffs, okay? And on Sunday night, you have a long
Starting point is 00:08:17 day of NFL. It's great to get the Sunday night game. There's also a baseball playoff game we've done occasionally. The US Open Final this first weekend, this Sunday, you'll have the one o'clock games followed by the US men's open final. And that's, that's a fun day. And you have a chance to be a part of that. You have a chance to be a playoff team in Major League Baseball that doesn't happen often to the Marlins, Billy. That's fun. You should be embracing. To Stugat's point, I long for the days where we had Joe Buck
Starting point is 00:08:44 doing a 12 o'clock or one o'clock NFL game and then flying on a PJ over to do a world series game or ALCS game. So this Sunday we have an opportunity perhaps depending on a team USA and Canada both win. Sunday 840 AM the fever championship game could be USA versus Canada. 1 p.m. the full slate of NFL games, 4 p.m. full slate of NFL games, 4 p.m. also the US Open Men's final, which could be Joker versus Alcoraz. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:14 And then 8 30 p.m. Giants versus Cowboys and Sunday night football. And I'm checking right now. Is there baseball on Sunday night? Yes. It's a bad week for that FIBA tournament. Yeah. I'd rather watch Fantasy Football now than that final. But that's a bad week for that fee but tournament. I'd rather watch fantasy football now than that final.
Starting point is 00:09:26 But that's a Sunday right there. USA versus Canada. I need to see who to start in the 4 p.m. window. The American basketball team has arrived in the uncomfortable place where only them losing matters.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Correct. They lost to Lithuania. It's the only thing that we notice. Does Alabama football is that, how many things in sports are that at this point where the only thing you're going to pay attention to? Colorado football. Did they lose? Or sure, Colorado's on that list now.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I would throw in the Astros. People are really invested in the Astros losing because of, you know, the cheating. But there's no slam dunk in baseball. No, it's not that it's a slam dunk. It's not that the Astros are so dominant, even though they've been very good, obviously winning World Series. But it's like baseball people love to see the Astros lose. I think that's fair. I think more people universally care to root against the Astros and anybody else in baseball used to be the Yankees. It used to be that everybody was waiting for the Yankees to lose, but because they've been
Starting point is 00:10:33 relatively irrelevant for the last decade, the Astros winning all of that time is change. And the braves. Everyone hates the braves. What's it? It's the team. You're just in Marlon's group chats. That's not true. That is not true.
Starting point is 00:10:44 The Cowboys, one of the most exciting players in baseball. Alacunia. It's the team. You're just in Marlon's group chats. That's not true. That is not Cowboys. One of the most exciting players in baseball. He is ridiculous. He's on base half the time. And when he ever gets to, when he gets to first, then he's on second and now the bill is right. Like we're tired. We know how this ends. It ends with them not winning the World Series. Possibly that is correct. There are a lot of very good baseball teams and baseball is funny that way But they're clearly better than everybody like that's Okay, dude in October that fair enough
Starting point is 00:11:12 Recently, they're so well pleased to it again. They're so good though. It's not fair How can one team be so good? It's so much better than every good for like a decade Everybody locked up on cheap deals for the whole time. And it's not even just the winning. It's what you said earlier, like they just hit the ball harder than everybody. And they're fun. That's annoying.
Starting point is 00:11:32 You don't get to be fun and good. Exactly right. It is so good to have one of those teams that everyone hates just because you're too good. I do wonder on the Colorado thing because you are sitting out something if you want to root against this and it is possible, obviously, that they score 10 points against Nebraska and lose. But it is such a shitty way to
Starting point is 00:11:57 watch what everyone else is enjoying when you're just sitting there rooting for Dion to lose because he's allowed mouth and you don't want it to be as easy as they made it look in week one. How do you change a historically bad program in one day? Jessica, did you find a lot of hatred for Dion? Oh, are you kidding me? Yes, he is hated for like so many reasons. Some of them just like ridiculous. Some of them
Starting point is 00:12:27 like, yeah, not great what he did. Getting people to transfer when he just took over a new job. But you know what? You won the game and that's all that matters, Dan. Don Lebertard. Could I interest any of you in an opportunity to make money where I buy some calling cards and I sell them to you and then you get three friends and then you're making money off the ones they sell. Ha ha, I'm illum. Stu Gotts. And he's paying to it.
Starting point is 00:12:54 The more friends, the more you make friends. I'm illum. This is the Don Lebertar Show with a Stu Gotts. Stu Gotts says we have dueling stats of the day. with his two gods. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ the long version please Start of the day, it is the start run a journey I would take a flame for art to display it's a just me or is it that it's warm in here Get it Play me do do fire Play me do do fire Play me do do fire So loud, so wrong Play me do do fire
Starting point is 00:14:30 Play me do do fire Play me do do fire Stop that stupidity My eye like on that dumb My eye like on that dumb My eye like on that dumb Just bet up there My eye like on that dumb
Starting point is 00:14:44 My eye like on that dumb My eye like on that dope, I like on that dope, I like on that dope, I'm so good that you got the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
Starting point is 00:15:03 boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Oh They can kiss my all-quit one ass Star of the day, star of the day, it is the star of the day Star of the day, star of the day, it is the star of the day, star of the out, you gotta have these tears You can't fake this up, it's going in the record book You can't make this up, man down time Somebody break this up, kick them out double-tax
Starting point is 00:15:56 So if he act up, oh boy, my boy, it just got real What you think this is, oh you gonna take this ill for real Hey y'all, met the man one time for you. Yeah, it's the start of the day You have to start of the day to say the Stephen King novels, so don't get carried away I borrowed a lot from Poppy while I was passing the jade man what happened to gays? It's the start of the day. You have to start of the day long as the numbers don't lie That's all that matters today, shout the poppy Cause he probably wasn't mac in this day
Starting point is 00:16:27 Am I gay, we're dolphin musta been the catcher today Ha ha ha ha Who got the stack? Who got the stack? Who got the stack? Who got the stack? Who got the stack? Who got the stack? Stead up the day right off the bat It's off the map Picking down in the arm and neck
Starting point is 00:16:58 Who got the stack? Kibbit 2 is to drop the facts all of that Punny numbers now I want the stack Every time for arguing,'re let me see the facts You're the two by the dog and she's dying, I time for that Before you claim a single thing, you better run it back Ain't no rack, ain't no double-use until I see the stats Who got the stats?
Starting point is 00:17:21 Who got the stats? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand?
Starting point is 00:17:38 Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? Who got the stand? it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the saddle of the day, it's the sad of the day It's the sad of the day, it's the sad of the day I wanted to sing a little song To introduce this segment A tradition like no other Is this a little much?
Starting point is 00:18:23 No, no, no, it's time for the long version of the Stad of the day So cats won't read us, my Stad of the day The long version of the Stad of the day Oh, can't make a stop, it just goes on It's the Stad of the day Man, has no back, we're struck by lightning Twice Stabbing in Robinson's sun is in the hole of fame. Ferrola Derby.
Starting point is 00:19:09 What? 1.25 billion chicken wings get eaten on every super bowl Sunday. That's 625 million wingless chickens. In 1943, the Steelers and the Eagles lost so many players to service at World War II that the teams combined and they called it the Steagles. Stand on the tree, I can't believe Dan thought Josh out of it, that would be a good point of back. Michael fell sick the longest spot put everything on camera at 159 feet. That's deep. The Harlem Gold Chars were originally from Chicago and known as the Savoy Big Five and that
Starting point is 00:20:02 ain't no job. Joe Files was the last name, was actually pronounced a pieceman, but a marketing guy, no other name got him to change it to Files, but so Files been riding the Hivesman, Filesman, Hivesman, Hivesman. Joe came in second that year to Jim Plunkett. Man, that don't even run. Who would've f**ked it? Stale day,
Starting point is 00:20:20 Stale day, Stale of the day, Kimberly believe they're fucked up soundin' with no means good Call the bad Right back so matter, sex and not a 50-staff Magnesium fed, rap half-dital True shooting percentage That's what's red-rayed What's up with that gary, that's my taste It's bit of a speed You have to like, kiddo, nobody's got, you have to like, kiddo, man.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Kiddo's got crazy ass. Regress to the maze. Regress to the maze. Yeah, that's the style of the day. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Get that! Who's got the most touchdowns? Who's got the most assesses? In a game, in a season, we end up over here Who just get hit by a pitch and who just caught a high train? Oh, just couldn't hide and dream And when what's the stadium built in How long has it been?
Starting point is 00:21:50 Oh, this is the sound of the days that I'm the day This is... Oh my god, look who we see here. I will reach in for G. Hit them with something sexy, can you G? I Stats, facts of the day of life, sacks, at bats, war, Life... Sex... Sex... At best... War... Winds of the replacement...
Starting point is 00:23:12 Once even could for... Once for gain... To the sounds of the season... T.D. As rush with wheat... Is there even a reason for this? For Ben Babib, Regression to the Ming,
Starting point is 00:23:33 Strikes and blocks and carries, Boos your MVP. How many times have I done it? How many years has it been? How many ways have I done it? How many years have I been? How many ways have I been done? To go down and hear stories? Stating on the day, Stating on the day, Oh, it's great.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Mother, Son of a day. Hear me, O, Centricity. Son of a day. Son of a day. Strangely, Percentage.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Son of a day But with my life, but with my life Head up a day, set up a day Can we live on home? Somebody's good for today Let's go, let's go home Stead of the day, Stead of the day We don't have any time left Shit! There's no other 8 seconds left in the segment
Starting point is 00:25:21 Don Lebatard, Trist in Shalc, Stugatz Trist in Shalc Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me in. Don't let me I've got two stats to counter both of your dueling stats. Wow. Who's got the better stat here, Chris Cody? You or Stugat? I'm gonna have one of my, that'd be weird if I voted for Stugat.
Starting point is 00:25:51 So I'm gonna go with me. No, I honestly think mine's the best. And he sent me his after and it's solid, but I definitely have the winner. You should give the stats and then we can decide. All right, let's do that preview. All right, so we're clear you have two though. I have two, yes. So four stats.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Wow. We've got four dueling stats. I'm going to try to beat whatever it is the Chris Codian Stugots have. So go ahead and get us started, Stugots. All right, then. Minnesota Vikings wide receiver, Justin Jefferson, needs only 235 more receiving yards
Starting point is 00:26:23 to be the all-time leading receiver in Chicago Bears team history. These 24. That's a good stat. Not as good as mine though. The Yankees are 69 and 69. For the first time since 1969. Wow.
Starting point is 00:26:43 A couple of 69s, cutting it up. Easy. That was a thing. Dan? I don't have in front of me the sourcing on this, so forgive me on this. But it doesn't matter. If stats are public domain.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Right. If. I didn't source mine, I mean. If Pete Rose, Charlie Hustle, were to come out of retirement right now and go 750 for his next 750. He would still have a lower- No, no, for a second.
Starting point is 00:27:12 That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:27:20 That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. in their way is right though. We thought that you were going like if he didn't get a single hit for the next 750, something at bats that is batting average still be higher than someone else. By the way, the idea that Pete Rose could come out
Starting point is 00:27:30 at 70 years old and go 750 for 750 is insane. Who would think that that's something that could happen? I think Pete Rose is 80 something, is it? I have a stat. Do you want the stat? Sure. We need Dan's other one. Yeah, Dan is too. While she's at after Dan's, I'm just saying,
Starting point is 00:27:44 I have a fit stat. I have a six Well, I'll share it after Dan's. I'm just saying I have a fit stat. I have a six that I'll go after. Wow. Mo Salah has six yellow cards in his premier league career. Four of them are for taking his shirt off and celebrating. If you saw, if you saw his body, you would understand why he keeps doing that. What is the other stat that you have, Billy? Clayne Kershaw's career ERA is 248. He's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:28:11 The lowest ERA by anyone in the league this year with a qualifying ERA is 250. So his career ERA is better than any pitcher this year. And who is it? Is it Cole? Is it Snow? That's Strider. Oh, okay. Do it in the postseason. That guy, that guy, it feels like 99 miles an hour
Starting point is 00:28:30 is coming out of a mustache. Why don't everybody hates the braids? I'm telling you. I have a stat too. Oh, for the love of the world. I mean, what is your stat? Quickly roses 82, by the way. My stat is Andre Drummond is the greatest rebounder
Starting point is 00:28:44 by rebound percentage in the history of the NBA. He grabs 25% of all available missed shots when he's on the floor. That means for every four misses that are happening when Andre Drummond's in a game. He gets one of them. He's getting one of them. Wow. Good day, Chris. That is crazy because that player should be more valuable if I if I told you stood up in that
Starting point is 00:29:05 stand I think might be the best one I've heard so far if I told you that the guy who's available is better at rebounding than anyone ever wouldn't teams be fighting over him well he thinks he's a Hall of Famer but this is a conversation for another day but how is that is there something deceptive about those numbers or is he the great it's great an offensive rebounds to which helps but that's that that you gave I don't think most people listening this would say Andre drumman is the greatest rebounder in the history of the sport well I mean it should be noted that this number only starts in like nineteen seventy so because we don't know what will and Bill
Starting point is 00:29:38 Russell were doing rebound percentage wise but most people if you say who's greatest modern rebounder they say Dennisman, he rebounds better than Dennis Rodman. Jessica, do you have something better than that? Miami is offering Bogo Ticket Special for this weekend, fans who purchase a ticket for the Texas A&M game will get a ticket to the Georgia Tech game on October 7th. I'm going to the Georgia Tech game. I could, I could have gotten a free ticket out of it. We have not talked college football. $3 ticket to the Georgia Tech game.
Starting point is 00:30:09 I have another stat, Dan, if you want it. Oh! If Kevin Durant wins the next five NBA champion chips, he will still have less rings than Michael Jordan. This is why we played the long version. I have a stat, too. Wow! Wow!
Starting point is 00:30:24 What a day! What a day! What a day! Lucas Gialito is the first pitcher to allow eight plus runs in a game for three different MLB teams in the same season since Bill McGee, who did so in 1899. Whoa! I'm worried about him. Bill McGee disappeared.
Starting point is 00:30:40 What? Yeah, Bill McGee. The last guy where this happened in 1899? Disappeared. Did he disappear right after it happened? Eight years later in 1907, hanging out with his family, disappeared. Was it part of a magic trick? I don't know, but we got to be worried about Lucas Giollito.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Eight years. It was 10. It was 10. There are some college football things I want to get to, Stugots. I was not aware that Butch Jones was crying on the sidelines because he was losing 73 to nothing. 73 to nothing to Oklahoma. I was not aware that Butch Jones was at Arkansas State
Starting point is 00:31:15 incidentally, everything that's so mad, everything that's happened at Tennessee since, since he left, that's what Butch Jones was supposed to do. And if you're wondering why he's crying. That's why It's not just that he's losing 73 nothing. It's not just that people are learning. Oh, he said Arkansas state now It's that he had the Tennessee job not Arkansas guys Arkansas state. It's not a clip of Joe Milton and was like Jim Harboh we talked about yesterday because his team, it's one of the greatest martyrdom honors I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Self-imposed band, his team is holding up four fingers for the four game suspension that Harbott, self-imposed, but that might not, Jessica was saying that might not be the funniest thing that Jim Harbaugh did this weekend. Jim Harbaugh channeled a little bit of Chris Cody this weekend with his word choices. He said, there is no offense, there is no defense. It's a we fence. I like that.
Starting point is 00:32:20 I do it. My effect. The Chris Cody effect. Let's go we we. Yeah. He also said to start that little paragraph, be the guardian of victory. That's the number one job you have, the guardian of victory. And he's right, the we offense played really well
Starting point is 00:32:35 on Saturday. I always expect these Carolina to put up more than three points. Why did Jim Harbock do it? Why is he doing interviews during his self-imposed game? He's still able to coach during the week. So when the quarterback of Michigan said, we just want our coach back, literally all he can't do is coach the games. So if you're a Michigan fan, you want to bring that defense sign to the stadium, you bring a Wii fence sign out. Bring a Wii fence.. I also was like maybe he meant Wii like WII like
Starting point is 00:33:05 like the Wii Fence. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a cool game, Wii Fence. Wii Fence. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:13 No, it is. We actually, we have a clip of that Harbaw press conference. Let's play that. As far as splitting up the head coaching duties, I guess what, what are head coaches' responsibilities during the game? Be the guardian of victory is probably the number one job. You have making sure that decisions you're making are complimentary on all three phases.
Starting point is 00:33:38 No offense, there's no defense, it's a we offense. I love him. I love this guy. He looks like a serial killer. Yep, uh-huh, 100%. That was my first thought, too, Dan. I'm not saying he is a serial killer. I'm just saying he absolutely looks like
Starting point is 00:33:54 if you were casting for serial killers, he would come in and be a guardian. It's the glasses. That's it. Give off, Domer. No, it's, yeah. It's that he has the comically bad vision glasses where his eyes don't look like the proper size for some reason Vic lenses, but he used it like I don't know how this happened because he used to be like sand's glasses
Starting point is 00:34:14 Like I guess you were context and then just gave up on it. It's like those are magnifying glasses I is huge in this video. We have already Guardian of death is that what you were going for? Look at him. You're right Chris. Chris Cody is pointing out something here. It might be the camera angle, but his left eye, the pupil looks twice as large as his right eye. Terrifying. And when you hide it behind the glasses,
Starting point is 00:34:36 that person is obviously someone who has severed heads in his freezer. Like that just, that's what it looks like. I'm not saying that he would do that. I have been squatting on this take over the weekend and I want other people's opinions. Not that Jim Harbaugh looks like a murderer. But just that Jim Harbaugh is Midwestern Davosweeney
Starting point is 00:34:57 and Davosweeney is Southern Jim Harbaugh. Yeah. And is the Southern part where the religion comes out? Well Jim Harbaugh's got some of that to him. Does he have some got squad, too? He does. But Davos is more like you hear about it in every press conference and all those things.
Starting point is 00:35:12 He's the most God's coaches there is in college football, correct? But they definitely have some overlapping, like, crazy head coach tendencies that are specific to each other. Because like, you know, we know every head coach in college football, you have to be a little weird to do that right but they have a very specific intense intensity that I see mirrored off of each other sometimes I know we're making fun of him but I would totally be here for all coaches getting rid of coach as the descriptor and all of them asking to be guardians of victory instead
Starting point is 00:35:44 I would prefer to refer to them asking to be guardians of victory instead. I would prefer to refer to them that way. Had guardian of victory for the Michigan Wolverine. It is much better. It is much better. I press conference guardian victory. What did you guys think? You should have done there in third quarter.
Starting point is 00:35:59 His name isn't technically coach by the way. It's the J.I.R.A. and Nikki Harris family head football coach. Is that right? It's sponsored? Yeah to get it yeah yeah it's a new thing in in college athletics it's but women's basketball coaches men's basketball coaches to they have in doubt positions now so when the university will send out a press release it's like the so-and-so head basketball coach at the university of Notre Dame or whatever what a time so the booster's name is like in the press release you know what we got to do now, right?
Starting point is 00:36:26 We got to have him on and just address him as that every single time. Well, last time he was on, we just played the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald or whatever that song was. Well, he was on with his dad. He was on with his dad as I recall. And they were going there, man. They were going to be our music critics
Starting point is 00:36:42 and then we never heard from them again. Can we hear from Shane Beamer, the son of Frank Beamer, who also gave us some memorable press conferences this weekend. We have any stats? Anybody? It's kind of the story of the night. Clock was wrong, the whole game. We're trying to kick it on side.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Kick it to start the second half and we got to wait on the chain crew because they're eating a hot dog. That's the only disappointing thing about tonight. So, ripping everybody. Remind me, where is he the guardian of victory is it a Virginia Tapper? Sure, Linus.
Starting point is 00:37:10 So, Carolina. And also, the chain crew. The Gocks. They can eat a hot dog and measure first down at the same time, right? Like, there's gotta be something else going on there. That's why they're... In that, the beginning of that,
Starting point is 00:37:22 he's looking around his podium. Can I get stats? Nothing went right today. He's just throwing a tantrum. Where are he stats? And then, man, anybody. Mac Brown at the end of the game in small shakin hands grabs him by the neck. Is that a thing he does? Yes, I saw that. He's done it before. He's, I think it was Manny Diaz. He's just armed like with a vice. He's an aggressive grabber.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Mac Brown, you think he's coming in friendly, but next thing you know, he's got a vice grip on your jugular. He spits in your mouth. What? What? What? What? What?
Starting point is 00:37:57 What? What?

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.