The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Katie Can Talk As Much As She Wants
Episode Date: May 6, 2024Katie Nolan is still here to celebrate the best of The Roast of Tom Brady including the work of Sam Jay as Dan says goodbye and invites her back on several occasions. Then, there's a fun hockey game t...onight, and Jessica shares stories from her experience at F1 over the weekend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants
just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
that if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now here's the marching man to nowhere,
fat face and the habitual liar.
Surely Katie, you winced at the number of jokes
that Tom Brady had to endure at the expense of his marriage
and the reports that his wife cheated on him
with a jujitsu instructor.
Yeah, probably.
It also felt like, I mean, they have to.
If you're getting roasted, it's very public.
My favorite was when Kevin said, when you have the chance to go eight and nine
and lose your whole family,
of course you have to, at the expense of your whole family,
of course you have to do it.
It was funny.
It had to come up.
Otherwise, what are they gonna make fun of you for?
Being great?
Like that was my fear going into this,
is that everybody was gonna be afraid
to actually say anything
actually critically funny about Tom Brady. Not enough jokes made it the expense of his
fake hair, I think. But there were a couple. Yeah. But it's like you paid for it. Let's
talk about it because it's a lot.
And it's not well done.
Yeah.
That's a shocking thing.
See, I never noticed. I never and I never notice. I just never notice this kind of stuff.
So I'll take your word for it.
Men, you guys are so good at like calling each other out
on your hair.
I don't know what it is, but you love to do it.
Well, cause we can't see each other's dicks.
Ah, okay, sick.
Good joke.
That's another thing.
Another thing that came up way too much last night.
Do you not agree that there was way too much like,
yeah, I sucked his dick in like, yeah, oh, dicks.
And we looked at each other's and he's gay for him
and they're gay.
And you're just like, okay, okay, football players.
We get it.
It's the same joke and you've told it now.
50 different times, a little nuance would not kill you.
That is correct, but we're talking about Gronk.
Gronk. Gronk!
I mean, like, there were more,
there were so many jokes made about him just being an idiot.
Like, just an unrelenting number of jokes
that Gronk is a dope and a fool.
I think the most cathartic was when Bill Belichick was like,
you know, I'm known for telling people to do their jobs,
but Gronk, I've been watching you on the pregame,
and I have to tell you, please stop doing your job your job. It was perfect. I loved that. Who did you feel bad for? I felt bad
for Ben Affleck. He walked off the stage. Okay can I ask how come in sports TV we never get good Affleck.
Anytime he does anything in sports TV we get is he on drugs? Affleck. He never is, I didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything allegedly. I asked. Hold on a second. There's a question mark.
Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless.
Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.
You're good.
You're good. I don't know for sure.
And just like I'm bad at telling if somebody has fake hair, I'm bad at telling if somebody's
on drugs.
But he did give the energy of like when you kind of get stuck talking to a guy at like
late in a, at a wedding and you don't realize until, you know, you get too into the conversation that
like, oh, this guy's on Coke and I have to stay here and finish this conversation that I now,
if I had all the information, I never would have put myself in this position. So again, I don't know
about what's up with Ben Affleck. But I do know that that I'm, I'm between that. And remember when
he was on Bill Simmons show
Wasn't he his first guest on his show and we were all like, what is this?
I've I've been Affleck. I've I come on babe step up
I have a theory that he just doesn't want to be there. Okay, and then stop coming. How about that?
What if you'd stopped coming to it then? Um, it this is you're at the Tom Brady roast
That's you're like the representative of a fan. He's dead inside.
Like why was he coming at some random ghost?
I don't even know, was that Twitter person real?
I doubt it.
I doubt he was talking to an actual real Twitter person
who tweeted at Tom Brady.
So I don't know, it wasn't for me.
I felt bad for Kim Kardashian for a second, question mark.
Just because to be booed just for being there is brutal.
That's a tough, to then have to deliver the jokes
that somebody very funny wrote for you is an uphill battle.
And she did it.
And she, was she great?
I don't know.
But she did it. It sounds like you know, don't know. But she did it.
It sounds like you know, it sounds like.
But she did it, here's the thing, Dan, she did it.
And then later, when a joke was made,
a joke by Tom Brady, mentioning the thing
that I think we all fear for Kim Kardashian,
saying that she was afraid to be here tonight,
not because of the jokes,
but because that means
she left her kids at home alone with their dad. She had a good sense of humor about it.
She laughed. So like, I get it. People don't want to see her. But I just like, come on.
It's almost like we have to, it's hack to hate Kim Kardashian loudly at this point,
isn't it? That's you can hate her. You can have disdain for her, you can have serious criticisms of her,
but to just be like, boo,
it's like, all right, let's just let her say her thing.
Just to put a bow on the whole StuGott's thing,
these are the results of the four games
that the Panthers and Bruins played.
Bruins three, Panthers two, that's the first game.
Second game was Bruins three, Panthers one.
The third game was Bruins four, Panthers three. The fourth game was Bruins three, Pan one the third game was Bruins for Panthers three the fourth game was Bruins three
Panthers two how many in overtime?
That's not how you look at the standings what I don't think they would matter
You don't know how you don't know how to read the standings to God
It's like winning overtime is different than a win in regular time a A win in overtime means the other team still gets a point.
It's like a half a win.
I know.
Yeah, it doesn't mean anything.
You get the win though.
That means nothing.
You get the win.
There is overtime in the playoffs.
Why does he keep leaving?
It's not like we don't get to do that.
Does he just not want to work today?
I think he doesn't want to be here.
Katie, Ben Affleck.
Ben Affleck, incidentally, to Katie's point though,
he beelined off the stage, didn't say goodbye to anybody,
didn't hug Tom, didn't say thank you,
just went straight to the airport
as if he was late for a flight,
like didn't talk to anybody, just got off the stage.
Wasn't any good at any of the jokes
and then fled the premises.
Katie, always lovely seeing you.
Thank you for making the time for us.
Oh, I have 9,000 other things to say.
I'll go say them to Dan.
Bye guys, thank you so much. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 9,000 other things to say. I'll go say them to Dan. Bye, guys.
Thank you so much.
No, no, no.
No, give me all of them.
I want all of them.
Shut up.
I was joking.
You have a live TV show.
Go away.
That's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing now.
That's what we're doing right now.
We're calling you on your block.
We're supposed to break, but we're giving you the space.
We're giving you the space to give us all of the stuff
that you're going to like. As soon as we hang up with you,
as soon as we get out of here, you're gonna be like,
oh, I should have said this.
I mean, I will scroll through these notes.
The funniest thing about Bert and Tom's set
was seeing that everybody else used it
as a chance to go to the bathroom.
The way they set up that shot so that you could see,
you saw Andrew Schultz like in the wings trying to get back to his seat and he couldn't because then people would know
that he got up to pee during Bert and Tom.
Tough spot for them.
I did the dishes.
Yeah, I didn't, were they funny?
I didn't watch them.
They weren't funny, but it's a tough spot.
You're reading the project, the teleprompter and you're going back and forth.
Tough spot for them.
Well, how's that a spot?
Do it alone then. you're both standard comedian.
I agree. Do it alone.
That was my one criticism. You don't have to do it as the two of you.
I don't know when that became.
I don't feel that they make each other better per se.
You have a podcast together that's very successful.
Congratulations. Oh, you make a booze together.
Also successful. Congratulations.
But like, oh, go do your separate stuff. Because they're very different medians.
And so I didn't, making them do a thing together
didn't make a lot of sense to me.
But again, I didn't watch it, so maybe they were great.
Sam Jay, why aren't you guys talking more about Sam Jay?
Sam Jay was so funny.
Sam Jay to Drew Bledsoe, I was hiding behind my pillow
when she was explaining to him what a loser he is,
when she said that he's been cucked by Brady
his entire life, and then he said to Brady,
just f*** his wife and get it over with.
That's wild.
Yes.
That's wild.
Shout out Flatbush Misdemeanors.
We're gonna play that for Drew Bledsoe later.
See how that one. Thank you.
Oh my God, I'll tell him he was such a good sport,
but also ask him if he needed a sip of water when he came out
because he, it was all I noticed.
And maybe it's because I have a mom who smokes weed
and I'm not alleging that that's what he was doing at all.
Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on a second.
Hold on. Hold on.
I'm truly not.
It's the credibility and get reckless.
Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.
You're good.
I'm truly not saying, because I don't think he smokes weed, but I could just tell, he
just had dry mouth.
You know when you're having a conversation with somebody and they're like.
But he was drinking a ton of wine.
He had to be scared.
How can you not be scared?
I'm terrified.
Scared in that spot.
I couldn't believe he came.
He started also the cold open.
I would never have said yes to that.
Acting, brutal.
But like he.
Wow.
Wow.
I mean Belichick's acting was so bad.
All of them.
Oh, I meant all of them.
That whole cold open, I was like,
that made me so nervous for the rest of the roast.
When I saw the cold open, I was like,
it's gonna be a long night.
Which to be clear, it was a long night.
This was fun, but it was too long.
There was too much and I needed to be a lot shorter
because it ended up taking my entire night.
And I'm not being paid to be here as far as I'm aware.
Too much clapping, right, Katie?
We didn't need the audience to clap.
Yeah, but they really did.
The audience was either being piped in or very into it and very loud.
They reacted really well.
Other Sam Jay joke, which may have been the joke of the night,
was when she told Bledsoe that the only ring he has is the one Tom won for him.
So just like her strap on, just because you wear it, does it make it real?
It's amazing.
And then by the way, Kevin Hart got up and started saying
what he thought Sam Jay's boyfriend might look like,
and I was like, Kevin?
Yes. Kevin.
I don't know what was the best joke of the night
if you guys had to select one,
but Schultz saying to Dana White
of the Gisele Bündchen divorce that he recognizes what it's like to steal
half the purse of a Brazilian.
Chef's kiss, excellent.
That's on a cross-country flight, by the way.
He did MSG Saturday night and flew Sunday
all the way over to LA to do that.
He's got a great face for comedy. He works hard. Great face for comedy.
I mean, that haircut's gotta go.
I know he does it so people will mention it,
but I hate it.
It's brutal.
It's just like, we don't need it.
Just be funny, you know?
But he does look like he's out of the 1930s,
a black and white railroad, you know,
the guy who strapped someone to a railroad.
It's like a mixture of pinky blinders and Proud Boys.
Yeah, in all the worst ways, in all the wrong and bad ways.
I will say though, let's give credit where it's due,
he's the only one who made a Jeff Ross joke.
He said that he reminds him of the guy
in the, from the operation game,
because when kids touch him, he lights up.
What else do you have in your notes that we need to get to?
Because I want you to empty the clip.
How did you guys feel about Peyton Manning?
I didn't see Peyton Manning.
When was Peyton Manning?
I must have been away from the television.
The fourth time they brought somebody off backstage.
Yeah, he was like the special, special, special, special guest.
I missed Peyton.
Was that toward the end?
Yeah, it was the last.
It was right before Tom.
He introduced Tom.
So he was right before Tom.
He was all right.
He was OK.
Yeah, I didn't need it.
I didn't.
Well, Katie, breaking news.
Eli Manning tweeted just now, I thought
about attending the roast of Tom Brady last night, but I did not want to roast him for a third time
Yes, that's right Katie
Hi good to see you long time no see I know I love you
Doing well. I thought I thought there were thought there were let them do pleasantries more
That's good TV. I thought that there were a lot of my thumbs up coming from now. I like it
I thought there were a lot of people who didn't know on the day is who Ron Burgundy was and how
Confusing that must be to not know who that character is and then see that guy doing that. If you had told me at the beginning of the night
that I wouldn't have minded the Ron Burgundy part,
I would have been surprised because I'd be like,
okay, Ron Burgundy in a roast, we get it, we've done this.
But he was actually pretty funny.
When he made the whole crowd chant
that Eli Manning made Tom Brady his bitch,
it was funny, because when he made it sound
like he was gonna make everybody do it again,
it was funny, he was pretty funny. I thought it was a good a good bit
We have less than 50 50 seconds left. Okay seconds. You gotta give us the best of what you've got here
You've got a lot of pressure. Oh my god. It's okay, but now you have you have now 30 seconds. You're okay
When Sam Jay said if you pull yourself out of said, if you pull yourself out of your misery, if you put yourself out
of your misery tonight, we'd all understand, but you just want you to know you'd still
be the second best Patriot to ever do that.
Very funny.
Very funny.
A lot of Aaron Hernandez jokes.
Very funny.
Yeah.
10 seconds.
Belichick was funny.
Oh, come on.
There's two more.
Five seconds.
Dana White bombed.
Dana White bombed. Dana White bombed. Jokes. All bad. Nobody laughed. Oh, come on, there's two more! Um, um, um... Five seconds.
Dana White bombed, Dana White bombed, Dana White bombed.
Jokes, all bad, nobody laughed. Dana White bombed. Okay, bye.
I'll text you the rest.
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Don LeBretard! I got somebody here making fun of me. How old do you have to be to reference Shecky Green man?
I went comedically there with the funny name of a comedian that's on you for not knowing who Shecky
You know who Shecky Green you don't have to know who Shecky Green is but I rally. No. No. I don't like my allies
The Borscht Belt still gots. Um, I have the soul of a Borscht Belt comedian
I should be in the Catskills nineteen forty five opening for shaky green that's why was destined to be this is the down labor
tar show with this to god's
will get some of the local stuff in a second but we missed katie nolan and we
do not and have not seen her enough recently, and she's got more thoughts,
and she's got nowhere to put them that won't be
Dan Soder's ear, so we have her here.
This whole time I've been waiting for Soder to walk
into the background scratching his ass.
And he's not gonna be awake for another two hours.
Good sleeper, nice.
Drinking milk straight out the carton.
I envy that sleep.
What else do you have for us from last night?
Because it sounds like you were delighted,
and I will tell you and the audience,
that I was very pleased that everyone
just tried all of that.
That that franchise, which has been starched
and stiff and secretive and more interesting
in scandal than it is in front of microphones showing you personality.
It was just good to see that franchise be interesting for something other than
winning and being respected and being hated for how some of the winning happened.
Yeah, I agree. I thought everybody had such a good sense of humor.
I'll also say, because I feel like I've now taken
over your show to talk about just a thing I loved.
The first time I did your show, I didn't say a word,
so I feel like I've earned this.
Now I can talk to many more of them on the show,
because the first time I just sat there
and listened to music.
Took a minute, yeah.
Bob Kraft, not enough applause in this room for Bob Kraft.
He was funny.
He was funny and he was charming.
When he said to Putin, give me my effing ring back,
it was fantastic.
I thought that he was somebody who was treated
with a little bit too much deference
except for when they told him
that they'd all be gathered again for his funeral.
Which again, the delivery of Julian could really could have used a soft touch but instead he was like figured I'd see you all at his funeral.
He's not a comedian. I know. He's a slot receiver.
I don't think of Edelman having a soft touch with his speech.
That's not one of the talents in his toolbox.
Rodney Harrison.
Did anybody look more like they didn't want to be there by the time we hit the two-hour mark?
He was just like not into it.
And I get it because having to sit there and watch that whole thing, it was so long.
If I had to be watched while I was sitting watching it,
I'd be exhausted.
It's a lot.
You're supposed to get loaded, right?
And just make jokes, side jokes with the people
on the panel.
That's how you do it.
Yeah, but they put, they had too many athletes
up there to do that.
Like I get why they had the athletes up there.
I was happy that like Nate Soder was up there
for when Belichick was going so that he could roast them
in a way that was very funny
because we don't really talk about players
in those positions.
But for like a day, it was too many athletes.
They weren't like they were.
That's like class. It felt like for them, they had to sit through class.
The only person who looked more upset to be there than Rodney Harrison
was Belichick during the portion where Kevin Hart made him take a shot with Bob Kraft
because he looked like he wanted to kill someone.
And this is why that's I think when I was like, hey, I really love Kevin
Hart hosting this because I thought he was sweet. I think when I was like, hey, I really love Kevin Hart hosting this
because I thought he was sweet.
I thought he was just like, hey, you guys are,
I noticed you guys are really far apart from each other.
Why don't we get a little closer, do a shot?
And that had already come after the shot between,
what was the first one?
It was Tom and Gronk.
Gronk who spiked a glass, a shot glass.
The shards went everywhere.
Where the tables were right there.
It was like the dumbest thing.
And then to hear Kevin Hart go,
yeah, no, we'll clean it up, Gronk, it's okay.
Oh, oh, while we're talking about this,
one of the funniest moments was when Kevin Hart said,
it's crazy you guys let him come up here by himself.
Good job, Gronk.
You're doing good, Gronk.
He had to like talk to him like a child
because Gronk at one point was supposed
to pull out those shot glasses
and there was a different prop that was there
for later in the night and he took that out
and Kevin had to get on the mic from the dais
and be like, no, no, no, no, not that, put that down, Gronk.
Okay, take out the other.
The him being dumb was just a very,
very funny recurring beat of the night.
Stu, did you watch it?
Did you like it?
Sorry, Jess, I want you to talk.
No, you're good.
Nevermind.
I did, I said, yeah, Jess, go ahead.
You answer her question.
I wanna hear what you have to say first.
Well, I was gonna say, I did watch it.
I watched it the first 40 minutes,
and I thought Kevin Hart was great,
because he really set the tone.
He let you know right away that there is nothing,
except for Bob Kraft and massages.
There is nothing here that we're not gonna go after.
There is no one here we're not gonna go after.
And for that reason, I thought it was great,
and I also saw Tom Brady, and I'm with Dan on this,
the fact that that organization allowed themselves
to be open to doing this and laugh at themselves,
I thought was very refreshing and a good look
for every single person involved.
Yeah, I thought that it was fun when Jeff Ross
had to explain the forum is how Gronk
counts to four, or not counts to five joke or whatever it was afterwards.
Katie, do you feel like they were all really hungry?
They were sitting up there for three hours, they probably had to put on their nice suits
like an hour beforehand, do hair and makeup, they probably hadn't eaten in hours.
I would have been so hungry, I would have been hangry, although most of them probably
also on Ozempic So maybe appetite suppressed, but I just got a sense that Rodney Harrison at the end maybe was just a little hangry
Yeah, especially the athletes. I feel like there's no way they're usually going that many hours without at least a bar or a handful of
Trail mix of some kind. It was too long protein bars. Yes. Yeah, you gotta feed them
What else we've got to get out
of here Katie so you still have I'm surprised you guys didn't want to
entirely focus on the fact that when Brady was like if you just gave the what
was it 20 million or whatever to me I would just admit that I deflated the
balls you didn't you didn't want a million I figured that would be the whole focus of your show would be that he admitted it and
then you'd like harp on that for a long time.
Is that not...
That we did not do that.
We didn't mention it.
The 20 million spent on the investigation to try and catch them.
He was saying, if you just handed that money over to me, I just would have admitted to
doing it and we could have been done with the whole thing.
I think in the context of a bunch of joke making though, I don't think that would have stuck as
news. Tom Brady admits to cheating. We all knew it. No news.
Okay, how about when Tom said, Tom Brady, funniest man alive, said he asked Bill's fans how they're a mafia when they have no ring to kiss.
Ooh, got him.
So starch and just sadly delivered.
Yeah, poorly delivered.
He was like a robot.
It was terrible.
Oh, which reminds me of another Sam Jay joke
that we haven't even talked about
when Sam Jay said that she was afraid of AI taking jobs,
but Bert Kreischer proved that a machine
can't
write a good script?
What Tom Brady's gonna be a robot cuz he's a robot and that's like again I we can critique
all of this and one of the things that Tom Brady fancies himself is someone who mocks
the critic because he's the man in the arena and he, of course, we're
going to watch what he does and critique it, but it's almost something that he can't be
good at.
The expectation of funny in that circumstance, speaking to people is such a hard ask for
anyone who's not a comedian that of course he's going to blow the lines and not deliver
stuff the way that a comedian, that of course he's gonna blow the lines and not deliver stuff the way
that a comedian would deliver it.
Okay, but cults are just broncos who don't fuck.
It's such, you remember when Tom Brady was like,
guys, I'm gonna be a stand-up comedian.
Everybody was like, wait, what?
Are you serious?
He's like, don't worry about the $375 million.
I don't wanna do that anymore.
I'm gonna be a stand-up comedian.
We were like, there's no way he's good at that, right?
Yeah, no, he's not.
He's, I didn't come away from this being like,
oh my God, so personable.
I was like, oh, he could take a joke and he'll tell a joke.
His whole thing was weird.
I feel like it was kind of one longer scripted bit of him
like bloviating and talking about how great he was.
I thought parts of it worked, but overall I was,
I just would have rather he told jokes
instead of giving a whole big spit.
We get it, you are great, but I don't need Tom Brady
to tell me that he's great.
That's why we're here.
Like when he said to, I think he said to Belichick,
like when somebody wins the Indy 500,
I'm not like, who put the gas in your car?
Trying to say that that's all that Belichick had to,
I don't know, I know it's a complicated relationship,
but I was just like, eh, meh.
Tony, you think when Brady's working
to be a stand-up comedian,
that any stand-up comedian has that as the opening gig,
as opposed to workshopping your stuff in a club?
Sure, he's at the cellar, he's doing,
you're saying give him time.
He's trying to work it out, I get that.
I'm with you, I'm with you.
I'm saying you don't start,
Give me a few sets.
You don't start there.
You start with 16 people and some friends and family at 1 a.m. when the kitchen is being
cleaned up.
Even that is nerve wracking.
At the ha-ha hall.
You're still Tom Brady.
Here's the thing.
If you're Tom Brady going to do stand-up comedy, you're never going to be able to just go
to where you're not Tom Brady.
You're always going to be Tom Brady.
So he's never going to have a smaller stage, which is part of why it's insane to say you're not Tom Brady, you're always gonna be Tom Brady. So he's never gonna have a smaller stage, which is part of why it's insane
to say you're gonna do state of comedy.
Because once you reach a certain level of fame,
you can't get honest feedback,
and that's how you get to be a good comedian.
It's like T.I.
T.I. thought he was gonna be a comedian,
and someone had to tell him, like,
yo, you're not that funny.
Yeah, you're not funny.
Who had to tell him, though?
Who told him?
Someone who's not with us anymore, I believe.
Yeah. Katie, good seeing you.
Thank you for being on with us.
We like seeing you around here, so stop by more often.
Yeah, you keep saying that,
but you also keep asking me to leave.
It was good to see you too.
I hope you guys have a fantastic show.
I love you so much.
Bye.
Likewise.
Bye, bye, Jess.
More pleasantries.
It took too long to get to this,
but Billy, speaking of weekend comedy,
your Marlins trading a two time batting champion
and paying the entirety of his salary.
They got a guy that's projected to be a fourth outfielder.
There's only three, Dan.
By the way, Dan.
That sounds awful.
Hey.
I know you were wondering, WFAT livestream tonight, huh?
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He's their only all-star.
He's the one hitter that you trust.
Again, a two-
Well, no, they have Sandy, but he's injured.
The one hitter that you trust.
Hitter, yes.
Oh, you mean as an all-star.
Yeah, all-star.
And they'll have a new one this year.
Every team gets one.
That's the beauty of the all-star game.
But I, you know, they are one of the worst teams in baseball.
It is crazy to say that seven months ago,
they had the manager of the year and made the playoffs.
And they got lucky in one run games.
They had a disproportionate number of victories
in very close games last year.
So they were a playoff team and they earned it.
But I'd argue they were unlucky in games
that they were outscored by 15 runs last season.
Fair enough, but the whole thing is falling apart
and now you're trading the one excellent player
that you just got that you had at reasonable value
and I wonder how you feel about that as a team,
as a fan of that team.
It didn't feel great, I was at Highlight
when I found out the news so I had to kind of
stop paying attention to Highlight,
we'll get to Highlight later, Dan, but yeah, I was watching the situation unfold. I gotta be honest with you
I'm not sure Peter Bendix knows what he's doing
That seems to be what do you mean? He's lost a lot of fans here lately Peter Bendix the the general manager who replaced Kim
I gotta get something for Soler but well
Here's the thing that confuses me about this move in particular,
is why do you do it May 3rd or May 4th?
Like, I don't understand that.
They could've done it in the off season.
It almost seems like they decided,
let's have them lose and then we can justify a fire sale.
I'm not saying that's what they did.
Well, you see what kind of start you get off to, don't you?
And then you gotta go from there.
Yeah, but wait until the deadline
when people are desperate and they'll give you more.
Because this didn't seem like a great haul.
People said this was, some people didn't seem like a great haul.
Some people have said this is a great haul,
other people have said like,
yeah, maybe a fourth outfielder.
They didn't get a top hundred prospect.
No.
The national reports have suggested
that they tried to shop a Ryze in the off season,
there wasn't much of a market for it,
they were afraid to wait until the deadline.
And so this was why with a trade of such value,
they wanted to get it done now.
But if you're a fan, it's understandably disappointing
to see the Marlins be sellers as
April and
Like sellers in May said I mean it is
Guy he's getting four hits for another team
Can I just look here's the thing if you are the general manager of the team president baseball operations
Whatever the title right and you're here and you're apparently the one that's going to be the person that speaks on behalf of the team
Don't say on May 3rd. It didn't seem like we were gonna make the playoffs even though like you
Everybody knows you can't pull the plug on May 3rd and trade your best bill like
didn't seem like I'm gonna go how many months ago were they in the playoffs
with the manager of the year was it seven months six five like how many
months ago was that I don't know October November they're 15 out that's early 162
yeah I mean the good morning when yesterday I'll say that yeah they won
12 to 3 how about that?
After losing 20-4, so still negative run differential.
They're worse than the A's.
The extremely disappointing part.
The A's are good.
The A's are good this year.
The A's are good.
They're better, they're not good, they're better.
They were supposed to have this year be sort of a tweener year, right?
Like all of
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Don LeBataard for weeks
months even during the regular season, I wondered aloud what Kevin Stenlon did. And then about three weeks ago, it hit me. Stugatz! He gives him one
of these, and he gives him one of those. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
We've got a fun hockey game tonight and I, Stugats, can't believe that I'm looking at
ESPN. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, more than 20 people are picking
games here for ESPN.
And I'm gonna say 22 of 23 people have picked the Panthers
to beat the Bruins and only Steve Levy picks the Bruins
to win in seven.
That's the only one that counts though.
Yeah, who else is picking?
Mark Messier doesn't count.
The Messiah.
P.K. Subban doesn't count.
Bob Washuzin doesn't count. Hillary Knight doesn't count. Linda Cohn doesn't count. The Messiah. P.K. Subban doesn't count. Bob Washuzin doesn't count.
Hillary Knight doesn't count.
Linda Cohn doesn't count.
I'm gonna say Bob Washuzin does not count.
Butchie Grass doesn't count.
I mean, that's a lot of people
who are picking the Panthers tonight,
and I am a little bit startled to find myself,
after many years covering this franchise to see this in the playoffs against the Boston Bruins team that last year, at least when I saw it was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen in the regular season.
The Panthers had 110 points this season.
The Bruins had 109.
Like they're really good.
Having 22 of 23 picking the Panthers, that's crazy.
That's insane.
They have expectations now.
This team has expectations.
I guess that's a good thing.
Dan, I'm worried that you may get too invested in this
and what I need to do is that I need to invite you
to where Tony and I are.
And you need to not care about this
until you get to the Stanley Cup final.
That's what you gotta do.
You gotta one up what you did last year.
Don't ride the highs and the lows,
the emotional rollercoaster.
It's gonna be too much for you at this point.
You don't need this.
Focus your energy on other things.
The Marlins.
Well, focus your energy on other things.
Don't do that right now.
Get to the Panthers when you need to get to the Panthers
and right now, you don't need to get to the Panthers.
You're keeping an eye on them.
Exactly right.
They're in the back, they're right there.
You can see them in the mirror. You're like, all right, I know you're there. I'll get to you when we get to you. We got other things and right now you don't need to get to the Panthers. It's because you're keeping an eye on them. Exactly right. They're in the back, they're right there, you can see them in the mirror, you're like
alright I know you're there, I'll get to you when we get to you, we got other things important
right now, but later.
You just toss one in the pool, was that icing?
And then you just keep it moving, that's all you gotta do right now.
Now when do you get to them?
Stanley Cup final.
Yeah.
Playing for a championship.
That's where they were last year.
What if they're down 0-2 to the Bruins?
Let's just start paying attention.
No, no, no.
With two home losses?
What?
With two home losses what with two
home losses is what he's he's got him starting oh two I I don't think Billy
that you're being fair sane or reasonable they're the thing going on
locally they're the only thing there's nothing else playing with stakes locally
unless you count Jessica's foray into the tempest that was F1 this weekend.
How come you didn't go, Dan?
I heard you had a pass and you just didn't want to go.
It's right there, Mike.
This is the look at me Louie in the physical flesh,
ladies and gentlemen.
What do you mean?
Waste of a pass.
What do you mean it's look at me, Louie?
Why do you have this with you?
It just stayed here all weekend.
It was here all weekend.
You're scared that you wouldn't know what to wear again
and that we were going to make fun of you? I didn't wanna deal with the traffic.
Although the temperature down here
was so much better this year than it was the last time.
No, it was horrible.
I'm not saying it was good.
I'm just saying better than last year.
Still hotter than the surface of the sun,
somewhere around the bowels of hell,
but better than last year.
Fair.
The traffic was a nightmare.
And as I said on Mystery Crate last week,
I was dreading going to the race all weekend
because I knew I would probably spend like 10 hours
in traffic, which I did.
But shout out to my Uber driver, Matt Kugler,
for taking me both ways all weekend.
Wait a second.
You didn't get out of it.
You didn't drive?
Yeah.
The whole point was you were supposed to drive. We only had one pass, so we had to carpool together.
And you'd think, oh, maybe they're limiting passes,
so there won't be a billion cars on the road.
No, there were.
I'm gonna go out and say, if you didn't drive,
you're not allowed to complain about traffic.
You got to sit on your phone,
you could have like, fiddle with the lady.
You're not dealing with it. Traffic is only bad when you're the one driving.
That's absurd.
He's right about that.
Not absurd.
Put it on the pole, Juju, please.
If you didn't drive, are you allowed to complain
about traffic?
Jessica, what were the highlights from the weekend?
You appear to be, from what I can gather around here,
you seem to be in the minority position of everyone
is less interested here in f1 and this weekend it didn't quite feel to everyone
here the way that it did last year when it was novel and new well I mean I it
felt pretty exciting at the track it was a sellout they had there were I mean
hundreds of thousands of people there all weekend it's not for everyone you don't have to like it that's okay but it was a big event. There were hundreds of thousands of people there all weekend. It's not for everyone. You don't have to like it. That's okay. But it was a big event for
Miami. It was the third year that they've done it. They have a contract, I think, for
seven more years. And every year, I think the event has gotten better. I think my only
complaint really is getting to and from Hard Rock, which I've heard also sucks for Dolphins
Games. Probably is a little worse for F1, because there's more parking lots being used
for the actual race, so it's harder to get around there, but I thought it was a great event
I had a ton of fun my week actually started on Thursday
I was doing this like motorsport.com panel with a bunch of Formula One podcasters
So we had on my two of my favorite people from my favorite F1 podcast missed apex came on
Two women that host a podcast called
Two Girls, One Formula came on.
Alana's King from motorsport.com.
I thought you guys would have more of a laugh
for Two Girls, One Formula, but I guess not.
Well, I got uncomfortable, Two Girls, One Formula.
I was surprised that that was a name.
I just got all, I just remember,
they did this to me live on air on a Sunday morning
during the fake pregame show.
I was shown two girls, one cup without knowing what it was.
I'm not familiar with that reference.
We did that to you.
Yeah, what is that?
What is that?
Huh, what?
Moving on.
So I had a really great time.
I met a lot of other faces in F1 media.
It's always interesting going to
a international event like this
and people kind of treat me like I'm an alien
because we cover American sports,
we cover basketball and football and all these things
and the motorsport world I think is really like,
everyone kind of is in that world.
They're very dedicated to motorsport.
So it's funny, they're like, wow, you cover all the,
one of my, the British media people is like,
you do sports ball, what is that like?
Jessica, I was waiting for you to come with the,
you cover the American sports, it's very cute,
very cute how you chase a ball and put it in a basket.
It is funny though, because there's like,
it truly is such an international sport,
and they're all inside
the team villages inside Hard Rock Stadium and there's a huge Miami Dolphins logo in
the middle of the field and I'm like how many of these people know what this logo is and
what this league is.
What is this about?
It's so funny but I had a really good time and I think that the event was pretty awesome
this year.
It ended up being probably the best race of the season so far,
which was a bit of a surprise because we had Lando Norris on the show last year ahead of
the US Grand Prix and he said that Miami's actually not his favorite track and a lot
of drivers have said this. It's a little bit of a boring track, it's not very exciting,
there's not a lot of passing, but as it turns out this year, Lando Norris won the Miami Grand Prix.
Mr. Baby won Dan.
His first Formula One race like ever.
It's about time.
It's crazy how he still has a job
but he's never won a race.
I tried, I tried to give F1 a chance.
Mr. Baby has never won.
Never won.
And then won now.
Yeah, after crapping on Miami.
Go figure.
He didn't crap on it, he just said it wasn't his,
he said Land No, he said it wasn't his favorite.
Yeah. But I think he'll probably change his mind now
because this was a monumental moment for him
and for his career.
I mean he joined F1 in 2019,
he's been on the podium 15 times,
he's a phenomenal driver.
But the McLaren car has not been very fast
until this weekend, they finally put in an upgrade
and had some pace and were able to stave off the Red Bull.
And now I'm spoiling my F1 minutes,
so I really should stop while I'm ahead.
That wasn't it?
I tried this weekend.
No you didn't, you did not try.
I did, I watched it.
You did not try.
I tried, I tried to watch it,
I tried to, I didn't watch the Netflix show.
I feel like that's what's missing,
is I didn't watch the Netflix show,
so I didn't really care.
F1, we did this thing on Mystery Crate Dan
where Tony has a list of things that are not for him.
It's a list that are for other people. Yeah. it's like things that I like for other people right for me
Yeah, I can go through it if you want. No, no, that's good. I have one thing on the list
You want that list mystery crate is where you need to go to get things that are for other people
Yeah, everyone I think is for other people. I tried
57 laps not enough laps. We need like 200, not enough.
Yeah, no, NASCAR's like 250 laps.
57 laps is like, you do that at the weekend on the go-kart.
We do it here on Mario Kart on Fridays.
57 is not that many.
I think that's like the appeal of F1 for a lot of people.
It's like the race is over in two hours.
Yeah, it's a sprint, yeah.
Nah, there wasn't enough action.
There wasn't enough things going on for me.
It was hard to follow.
You just see the team logo and then the name,
but I don't know any numbers.
I don't know who I'm watching, who I'm not.
I have it on mute, it's very confusing.
Yeah, it probably doesn't help.
Not for me.
Jessica, how hard is it for them to change the course?
Like from year to year?
Probably pretty difficult.
And they might make adjustments to like the track surface.
They might kind of like smooth out certain corners if they're too fast stuff like that but the route but you know it's
this is a permanent track this track is probably not going to change very much put it on the pole
please do you find that f1 is for other people at lebatard show let's put up the menu because
it is the most expensive sport i can't even imagine are Are you too broke, Mr. Labattard,
you cannot afford our devs?
Is that why you didn't go?
What exit is this?
Look at this menu, you cannot charge me $180 for nachos.
My question for whoever took this picture is,
one time I sat in, this is like a humble brag,
I sat in a suite for the Miami Open at the Hard Rock,
and one of the marketing people gave me their phones.
It was like, you order whatever you want
from the catering for the suite.
And so I was able to see the prices of how much it costs
to order the giant Caesar salad for the suite.
And it was like this.
I was like, am I about to order a $175 Caesar salad?
But it's for like 10 people.
It's like ordering a hammer for the US Army. Like that's, they know.
Well yeah, that's, so I don't know if this was like,
this was like prices for an entire street full of people.
No, it must be, it's gotta be.
How many wings do you get for $190?
I better get a ton of wings.
Not enough.
It has to be.
No, it says add one ounce of caviar for $400.
To any item, Billy.
To any of those items.
To any item, Billy.
What are you not understanding?
Americans are so cheap so Steven Ross is an Adelvie
He was offered ten billion dollars for the Dolphins and f1 and I guess tennis do and he's like nah, I
Want my family to have that I?
Do not love my family enough to say no to ten billion dollars
Not on Brady