The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Meadowlark Media's WNBA Dibs Fantasy Draft

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

Chris Cote may have to give a best man speech in the near future which leads us to learning about the recent awful commencement speech at Ohio State. Then, we learn about last night's saga surrounding a new WNBA Fantasy League at Meadowlark Media that was created by Rose, started with calling dibs on first round picks, and ended with JuJu taking advantage of total disarray. Plus, Mandy Moore gives us another reason to accept that Taylor is having a moment, Roy delivers his Top 5 Knots, and we listen to Stugotz's commencement speech from his School of Fraudcasting. Also, how is Roy so calm about the Panthers game tonight? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. All right, everybody. Mother's Day is officially around the corner. If mom's gift isn't already on the way, you've got hours, maybe even minutes to get it together. So head over to 1-800-Flowers.com right this second. 1-800-Flowers still has great last minute deals on handmade bouquets, sweet treats, gourmet food, and one of a kind gifts ordered easily and delivered fresh. You want to get mom something that shows your appreciation for all that she's done. We know you've been a knucklehead.

She knows you've been a knucklehead. Please do better. Help your mom feel appreciated this Mother's Day. This is your last chance to lock in these Mother's Day deals. Only good while supplies last. Order today at 1-800 flowers comm Dan Dan that's 1-800 flowers comm Welcome to the big suey

Presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show the podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBataard podcast I'm sorry. I'm not gonna apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere,

fat face and the habitual liar. Segway, you were discussing doing a commencement speech at one point for your school, Clark University, correct? They never asked, yeah. But you wrote it, didn't you? I started it, Stanzyk wrote it. You know what I'm just realizing, and this is just something that I'm noticing on our end,

you also promised Austin Eckler that you're gonna write him a best man speech. And he's getting married like, soon. Like this week or next week I think. He's coming on next week. No he's not. Yes he is. He's not coming on next week.

For the speech. You're invited to the wedding by the way. Billy's invited to Austin Eckler's wedding. No I'm not invited to his wedding. I believe you are. Let me explain to you how wedding invitations work. You get invited. I was not. So I'm not invited to his me explain to you how wedding invitations work. You get invited, I was not, so I'm not invited to his wedding.

That's how wedding invitations work. Did Stu get one? You're my, no. Billy's my plus one. But you didn't get one. I got one. My brother actually just got engaged. Really?

Oh my gosh. I actually. Wow, that's shocking. He hasn't asked me yet, I'm just assuming. But I have, in my future, I have to start thinking about writing a speech. Well, he hasn't asked you. He'll ask me.

He doesn't have a date. I asked him, like, I don't know if they're my friends. Yes, Greg. A bit presumptuous of you. What are the other options, do you think? If it's not you, who would it be? He's got friends, but I chose him. It's just what you do.

He's gonna pick me, look. I don't even need to debate it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. End of discussion? End of discussion. Oh, damn, I was gonna say, because you chose him, he should chose you. Choose, yeah.

Yeah, that's how it works. I don't know about that. Well, if you have one sibling that you're pretty close, I mean, me and my sister are kind of the same way. Like, I was her maid of honor, and every time we talk on the phone, and another one of my girlfriends is in the vicinity, my sister will blurt out,

I'll be your maid of honor when you get married, right? Because she's like threatened, and I'm like, yes, Deb. Like I'm not getting married. And if you have a good amount of friends, it actually takes the pressure off of you. Well, not if. I'm the easy choice. Like I have to choose my brother here,

even though I have close friends. Joey. No, that's my friend. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. You had to choose your brother even though you had Joey. Yeah, I would have, yeah, you know. Well, here's the thing though. I don't wanna hurt Joey's feelings.

Has anyone else asked your brother to be their best man? Because then he has to return the favor to two people. It's an obligation, yeah. No, he's been in some weddings, but never the best man. So the pressure's on. He's like me, we're in a lot of weddings, but we're never the number one friend. I don't wanna be in the wedding party.

We're like seven people's third best friend. Always the best friend, never the groom. Ron's metal over here. Are you insulted if you're not in the wedding party, but you know you're supposed to be in the wedding party? It's a hassle, I don't wanna be in the wedding party. No, I wanna be in it.

I don't wanna deal with pictures, I don't wanna deal with anything, I just wanna drink. It depends too, like if it's like a really close friend and your feelings are hurt, like sure, but it really is such a ordeal, and it's so much time and effort and energy and money that sometimes it's a relief to be like whoo I could just show Up at six o'clock have a cocktail watch the wedding dance go home

I have to do shit the pictures suck the only part about being in a wedding that stinks is Missing cocktail hour for pictures if you do pre pictures, then you're kind of good, but that's the only bad part to me It's a status symbol. I like being in the way. There's an obligation to be on good behavior There's just too many obligations. You gotta have one crazy guy in the wedding you know I used to be You used to be the crazy guy It is you if you don't know you're the crazy guy I'm telling you I've toned it down at weddings really said this before in my early 20s I was the first guy out on the dance floor nowadays

I'm just you know I'm Will Smith and hitch first on the outside to it. I'm on the outside Oh, I just watching the dance floor, letting all the kids have fun. It's not my game anymore. It's not my game anymore. Actual kids or the 20 somethings. Really? The kids like Lucy.

You're calling, okay. But I feel like you look at them and you're like. Oh I wanna be out there. I could show them. I mean. I've still got it. So what's holding you back? Not enough alcohol probably.

Really? There is? Open bar, there's enough. It's free. That's another thing. But it doesn alcohol probably. There is. What? Open bar, there's enough. It's free. But it doesn't hit the same, right Chris? It doesn't. It's like, it's gotta, you know,

you get more discerning. I feel like once you've been to 15 weddings, you just, you reach a point of weddings where it's like, all right. At peaks? Yeah. Where it's just like, these aren't, I love them, but they're just not as fun.

But I would argue. They're a hassle. I would argue though, there's also like a wedding window, right? Where like a lot of people are getting married at the same time. Yeah. I'm in the window.

That's when you're peaking, right? But like Chris, you're on the back end of that. Way back. Yeah, so then you can. Now I might get one wedding a year. I know, but that's why you need to make every wedding count. And you need to bring back that Chris for all those weddings.

People are expecting it. In fact, I would say that if your brother is asking you to be the best man He's expecting you to be the crazy one. Yes, and maybe here's the thing He's not sure because of the way you've been behaving at past weddings if you still got it Oh, and maybe he needs his best man to be the crazy one. I'll text him right now. I still got it There's a movie no context no context. I still got it. There's a movie in here somewhere. No context. No context, I still got it. There's a movie in here somewhere, One Last Wedding. Chris, you can do it.

But I think you have to show him on the front end that you can still do it. No, but this is a cycle. You've reached the part where weddings, you just hate them now. Yes. I'm in the part where- I feel like that movie is the hangover.

I don't dislike going to weddings anymore, but I'm just kind of over being excited about them. When you're in your 20s, you're super excited about them. Like that, it's all a natural part of life, what's happening here. I want to close the loop on something, or maybe close it and then reopen a different loop. What the hell are you going to write

in a commencement address, Stu Gatz? What is your speech going to be? I think we have one from an old, if you could find it. So you're just going to use an old one? I don't know how to answer that. It just changes them. Are you gonna be like the state guy who was like on ayahuasca or whatever? I had a great one for the Stugat school of broadcasting. You can find that one. It's great. It's really funny What happened at Ohio State? So much happened at Ohio State. So Ohio State's graduation They had some like Bitcoin crypto guy be their commencement speaker.

He wrote the entire like speech on Ayahuasca. He was having the crowd sing. Also, somebody died at this ceremony before it happened. So vibes were already there. They were not great. He comes out. He's singing Little Light of Mine and trying to get the crowd into it. Wait, we have video? I think there's video somewhere. Great investors are open-minded and understand things before other people. So I know this might feel polarizing but I encourage you to keep an open mind right now. I see Bitcoin as a very misunderstood asset class. It's decentralized.

He admitted to when he was asked to being the commencement speaker of not responding because he thought it was a prank. He didn't think they seriously asked him. Hold on a second. So this guy went out there and he tried to sell people on Bitcoin while he's supposed to be giving a commencement speech? And he sang songs. He got booed by 70,000 Ohio State fans.

And apparently, I read that the president of Ohio State, there's like a commencement speaker advisory board and they recommend names and they will like, go listen to old YouTube videos of like, different speaker advisory board and they recommend names and they will like go listen to old YouTube videos of like different celebrities and politicians and stuff doing speeches to see who's good and who's bad and then they'll make a list and give it to the president and the president was like,

nope, I'm gonna have this guy. They also said that Kirk Herbstreet is on that list every year but that the people who pick are like, we don't know who this guy is. We have no clue who Kirk Herbstreet is. He just got str straight for no reason. Let me ask you guys a question. You guys went to like big schools, right?

So are your graduations, because like at FIU, where I went, there's multiple ceremonies, right? So like there's by different schools and the like kind of group of bunch of schools together. So like in a given graduation period, there's probably like six graduation ceremonies, more or less, give or take, right? Is that how it works for you guys too?

Because then you'd have six commencement speakers, so you'd think that that's how someone like him would kinda slip through the cracks where he's out there and he's trying to sell you on stuff. Not to be a bummer, but I was a 2020 grad, so we got zero graduation. All I got was a video of Ashton Kutcher being like, "'Congrats guys, that's really awesome.'" That's pretty good though. Ashton Kutcher being like, congrats guys, that's really awesome.

That's pretty good though. Ashton Kutcher's probably better than this, but the COVID thing was a bummer. To answer your question Billy. And then the whole Danny Masterson thing. Oh yeah. He didn't go to Iowa though. The letter.

That was, yeah. If he was on the weddings, he'd be on the downside of the whole wedding peak. End of discussion. Notre Dame's like pretty small, there's only I think 6,000 undergrads, so we have like one big ceremony in the stadium. For everyone. And that's like the main commencement, and then they're split into, everyone's like pretty small. There's only, I think, 6,000 undergrads. So we have like one big ceremony in the stadium. And that's like the main commencement.

And then they're split into, everyone's split into colleges. And then you do your college commencement thing after. And that's when you get your diploma. And our main speaker was- Double graduations? Give me one graduation ceremony. Give me in and out. Mad Dog was complaining last year

about Notre Dame's graduation being too long. And I was like, Mad Dog, I agree. And it was also outside and it it was 40 degrees in there. Can I tell you something? You know what I hate more than weddings? Graduations. Oh, the worst. Oh, graduations are terrible to attend.

It was cool, I get it in my diploma though. Which is, the thing about this weird guy is that like, okay, yeah, it's a graduation, who cares? But like, you know there's people that, like this is like a huge moment for them. Maybe they're like the first person in their family to get a degree, or maybe like they've dreamed of going to Ohio State their whole life or whatever

and they're just like sitting there listening to this guy talk about Bitcoin for like 40 minutes while everyone's booing. It just seems like a miserable way to like end your college experience. Also, once again, this all happened after someone died at the ceremony. How did they die?

Someone fell like in the stands. It was very sad. And then this guy comes out and starts singing songs. Why did they, like... He went in with an agenda, Billy, and he was unwilling to change it. Couldn't pivot. Well, no, so they got a copy of his original speech,

and there were so many things in there, they were like, oh, you can't say that. Oh, wait, hold on. So this is the approved draft. So he had more things, and then they're like, oh, you can't say that. Oh, wait, hold on. So this is like the approved draft. So he had more things and then they're like, I guess we can let him sing because if not. I believe like alpha male was like used in the original script.

And there was like one line about like replacing the word racism with hate. And he was like, this man, he wrote so much all high out of his mind, posted about it on his Instagram story, then came out there and just delivered a literal performance. Why'd they let him after they saw the draft?

They couldn't find anyone? Not Kirkhurst Street. Not available. Guy Fieri was on the list too. Really? Really? Wow. Interesting.

Buster Douglas, one Moment Hall of Fame. In a moment. Just one. Hm. Hm. That's a good one. Thank you. Who were the people that you were going back and forth

with Jess on this yesterday? Because you told me, and you presented this as though you had so many of these One Moment Hall of Famers. Buster Douglas, a boxer? Yes. Yes. He beat Mike Tyson. Oh there are names but you guys don't know the names. That's a reference that I'm not sure. Let me try some names out because Roy might know

these names. Larry Mize, one moment Hall of Fame. Do you know who Larry Mize is? Golfer. Won a single green jacket, had one shot I think on the 19th hole. They played 18, they went to to sudden death and he had one shot, I think, on the 19th hole. They played 18, they went to sudden death. And he had one big shot, Larry Mize, one in Green Jacket, that's it. No one knows anything else Larry Mize has ever done. Ha! Nick Foles?

Danny Willett, he had a moment, yeah. He's one moment Hall of Fame. That's a good one. Nick Foles is one moment, not two moments? Philly Special? Yeah, the Philly Special. That was the moment. That's the moment, right? That's the moment,. Nick Foles is one moment. Not two moments Philly special. Yeah, it's really special. That was the moment That's the moment. That's the moment. Yeah, Danny will it Hmm. You guys don't know who he Andy. Well, it's a good one. Danny will it's a good one

Andy Roddick one u.s. Open name a single other big match Roddick one Yeah, he's kind of like Reggie Miller where it's like he might have had like one moment like that But he's relevant past that moment because of his body of work. Kyrie Irving hit one shot. He hit one shot. I don't want to hear about it. Andy Roddick is in the International Tennis Hall of Fame. Okay. Can you be a Hall of Famer and be in the moment Hall of Fame? He won one major, the US Open. That's it. Yeah, but he's in the international tennis hall

I don't want to take Andy Roddick out of the really relevant though like everyone Yeah, I'm that knows of this that's because US tennis sucks whoa especially on the men's side women we dominate men's terrible One US Open for Roddick, but he dated Mandy Moore Two moments Reggie Miller also a Hall of Famer Shouldn't be mmm But he dated Mandy Moore. Two moments. Reggie Miller also a Hall of Famer. Shouldn't be. Should Andy Roddick? I don't wanna do that to Roddick.

We talked to Roddick. I like Andy. Is he in one of your group chats? Actually, let me, actually, actually, actually, you don't wanna do that to Roddick because you did something to Andy Roddick and I don't remember if you did something to Roddick and you really did something to me and Andy Roddick

at the same time, which is we had an interview scheduled with Andy Roddick, and then you disappeared five minutes beforehand and told me, much like today, told me you handle that and you interview Andy Roddick. What? How'd it go? Well, surprisingly well, and I wasn't expecting to be interviewing Andy Roddick

at the time. And I didn't have enough preparation to do an entire Andy Roddick interview with him where he was promoting both pickleball and a pickle sandwich from Subway. Helping you grow, Billy. Everything I do, I do for you, Billy. There's a purpose behind everything I do.

Really. When I do that to you, when I bail on you for Roddick, I want to say, hey, can Billy get himself ready and conduct a great interview with no warning no advance warning and Today since you brought it up same thing can Billy pull an hour and a half of Podcasting off with no advance warning and you are doing a great job coaching Yeah coaching that kind of feels like it's last minute Yeah, it's like it's all it's all part of the big plan Right cuz you never know when you need to be thrusted into the number one seat Billy I do know it's typically when I see the schedule and you're the number two seat

I like this seat. I've I'm aware. It does seem that way Yeah, and doesn't like you're doing any extra heavy lifting today. No, I like it better when you're sitting in the one seat Why is that? Less pressure for me. I mean, do you feel pressure still? No, I'd be here more. One moment Hall of Fame, Stu gots co-hosting. There you go. I mean, that is 17 year run. I took out the last three.

I took out the last three. Yeah. Closing the loop on the Ohio State commencement speaker. Pretty weird guy. Who is he? What does he do besides sell Bitcoin? He's an Ohio State grad and he runs some like wristband tech company that isn't well known or very good. But made him a billion dollars.

Yeah. I don't know. He didn't know how he ended up there. We don't know how he ended up there. But apparently the president of Ohio State's like a Bitcoin investor or something I read. So maybe that maybe that was how Joe Namath. One moment. Hall of Fame.

And it wasn't on a field. It was by the pool. Dwight Clark. Name another catch. Yeah name another one Dari that's the other one when your mom know why your catch right? That's it. Not another cat I'm looking up some of the more stranger people to give commencement speech Jerry Springer once gave one Hmm, I mean not what I listen to it. I mean he was a mayor. He probably has some weird things to say. James Franco. James Franco would be one of the worst commencement speeches to listen to ever. Oh my god I'd rather go to a wedding.

Alright everybody Mother's Day is officially around the corner. If mom's gift isn't already on the way you've've got hours, maybe even minutes to get it together. So head over to 1-800-Flowers.com right this second. 1-800-Flowers still has great last minute deals on handmade bouquets, sweet treats, gourmet food, and one-of-a-kind gifts ordered easily and delivered fresh. You want to get mom something that shows your appreciation for all that she's done. We know you've been a knucklehead. She knows you've been a knucklehead. Please do better. Help your mom feel appreciated this Mother's Day This is your last chance to lock in these Mother's Day deals only good while supplies last order today at 1-800 flowers comm

Dan Dan that's 1-800 flowers comm Don LeBattard You were that kind of sad this morning taking the barrage of anger from Stu gots because you hadn't booked him enough interviews I the only reason I keep bringing this up is because you not are throwing a big party on 13 You're doing it and I want people to support what you're doing because Stu gots has not made this easy Stugatts Well, you know, I well, yeah, you know, this is the done libertar show with a Stu gots So the day's almost done, Stugats. Yep, just started.

It has just started, but in terms of like the show's day's almost done, and as we discussed earlier, as soon as this is done, everybody's just leaving, no one's saying goodbye to each other, we already said our goodbyes, that's it. Yep. Pack it in, we'll see each other on Monday. In Lucy's case, we'll see her probably in three weeks because their schedule is. I'll miss you guys. Yeah, will you? We'll miss you. A little. Willow will say bye.

I saw Willow crossing the street because we have like a street cam today and I was like in the room getting ready and I just saw Willow like running across the cross and I was like, oh, Willow. That was the whole story. Hopefully Jessica was with her. It's a great story.

Yeah, well that's, I'm gonna end that discussion. Immediately. On Willow. Short story short. Roy, before we go, can we check the box score one more time? Alright, we are checking the box score on the WNBA. The Dream and the Fever played last night. Shout out to Renee Montgomery.

83 to 80, the Fever won last night. Kaitlyn Clark went 12, 8, and 6. But had 6 turnovers and went 2 for 9 from 3. Didn't need to bring that up. in Montgomery, 83 to 80, the fever won last night. Kaitlin Clark went 12, eight and six, but had six turnovers and went two for nine from three. Didn't need to bring that up. Not regular season though, right? Preseason? Yeah, preseason.

Yes. When's the regular season start? Tuesday. You excited? Yeah. I thought that you were getting a subscription for the season pass. I am.

Yesterday. I'm on it. You don't know when it is though? I'm getting to it. Yeah. I have a WNBA story. Her first game's on ESPN too. Well, yesterday was her first home game, but it wasn't, you know.

It's on Disney Plus too. Yeah. Wow. Most of their games are nationally televised, which is very cool. That's awesome. So if you want to watch Katelyn, you may not have to. But if you want to support the WNBA, you should.

I will. OK, good. Just kind of checking back in on, but if you want to support the WNBA, you should. I will. Okay, good. Just kind of checking back in on that. I'm excited to close the loop on that next week. That loop will stay open forever, that we're never gonna get a full fledged subscription from him. Guys, I was invited to a WNBA fantasy league this year.

What a cluster that was. Okay, that's what we're gonna get to. Our draft was yesterday. And full disclosure, I never agreed. I just received the invitation, your draft is today at seven. And I was like, okay, I don't wanna be the person that holds up this draft, so I'll do this, let's do this.

So I start looking around saying I'm gonna do this. So we have a show like company WNBA draft that we're doing here internally in Miami. And the rules are a little bit different than most fantasy leagues that I've been a part of. And that Rose is just making them up as she goes. Yeah, Rose is the commissioner of this. Oh no.

Yeah, she instituted a dibs rule. Okay, Chris, you tell the story. I thought we were, sorry, go ahead. I thought we were, you know, spackling. So Rose is in charge of this fantasy league. She made herself the commissioner. That was very lebitard of him. Tag team.

So back again. Seats getting to his head, I mean. Yeah, sorry. I apologize. It's okay. Well anyways, Rose made a rule because she wants Caitlin Clark where everyone gets dibs of the players

that they, the first round pick that they want before the draft. And it's just because she wants Kaitlyn Clark. That's not how drafts work. That's what I tried to tell her. Look, it's your fault for letting Rose run the league. Respectfully, love you to death, Rose, but I would not trust you to do that.

Well, here's the thing though. No one wanted to run the league, so Rose wants to do the league, she's gonna run the league. So somehow, everyone agreed to this rule. Like, everyone was cool with this situation. So then everyone's- Was there a vote? No, but she said everybody, like you get dibs

on who you want, I get Caitlin Clark. And then everyone just started saying who it is that they wanted. What? Based on proximity to Rose in the office? Is that how that worked? I got there late. I was like the 10th person to choose.

This is not how a draft works though. So there were two people who hadn't picked their dibs player when I got mine in, and Brianna Stewart was still there. So I got dibs on Brianna Stewart. You got the MVP of the team. Correct, yes. The first pick.

Yeah, correct, but if we're gonna be honest, people were just picking names they recognized because someone got dibs on Diana Taurasi, who in our league was ranked 998th, so had no business being reserved in any way. So, anyways, we get to draft day at seven o'clock. A lot of players on that rankings list. A lot of players in the league.

That's where she was when I put in her name, because I was looking, I'm like scrolling, scrolling, where's Diana? So. I think there's only 140 people on WNBA rosters. I don't even think they finished making cuts yet either. Daniel Taurasi is having a fall. You guys did a draft pre-cuts? So yeah pre-cut huh? Seven o'clock comes and it's time for the draft I know I'm gonna get Breonna Stewart that's my person I called dibs on and that's how this league works you

just called dibs on someone you get them right so with the dib system I'm gonna get Breonna Stewart. That's my person I called dibs on and that's how this league works. You just call dibs on someone, you get them, right? So with the dibs system, I'm then asking Rose for followups. Like, okay, so since we have dibs, are they just automatically on my team or does this need to be my number one draft pick? Because if it doesn't and they're on my team, she can be my last draft pick and I can get more good players, right?

So I was told, no, you need to, your dibs player is your first round pick, but you need to your dibs players your first round pick But you need to draft the person because Rose didn't know how to put people on your team automatically, right? So sure enough the draft begins at 7 p.m. And Mike Malley who does video stuff with us is there But he's not there. He has the number one pick and he's not in the draft who Mike Malley. Oh So Mike does not Mike doesn't get in before autopick. Miles. So his team autopicks Brianna Stewart.

And I'm like, well now what do we do? Because I had dibs on this person. Oh come on, this is ridiculous. And this is the way this league works. So I had dibs on this person. So then Thomas, who also does stuff with us, helpfully suggested, well, because I said what do I do?

My person has now been picked. Who? Thomas helpfully said, well, because I said, what do I do? My person has now been picked. Who? Thomas helpfully said, you know what you do? You pick Caitlin Clark. And I said, that makes sense. So I picked Caitlin Clark with the second pick in the draft, not knowing that Rose had the third pick in the draft. So now Rose is very upset with what's going on.

Your team is stacked. Oh my god. Anarchist versus anarchist. It gets worse. This is wild. It gets worse. This is wild. It gets worse. So I don't know what's going on. She doesn't know what's going on.

No one does. Eventually Mike Malley joins and says, you know what? I'm sorry I missed it. I was editing. I was working. It's like, no problem. He's like, just whoever had Brianna, just pick Diana Taurasi, and then we'll trade.

I'm like, perfect. We'll do that. So my second pick comes. I take Diana Taurasi, which again, I had to scroll all the, we'll do that. So my second pick comes, I take Diana Taurasi. Which again, I had to like scroll all the way down to find her, it was crazy how low she was. And I'm like, Mike Malley's not gonna have a good season if he's picking this with his reserve pick with his dibs.

This is crazy, right? No doubt. So. Classic M&M. It's only like a 10 person draft. It goes really quickly. By like 7.35 we were done with the entire thing But there was like eight people in our ten person league that did not show up for the draft

So everyone's auto picking so then because she changed the time right it was nine o'clock the day before then it became seven Whatever Jeremy didn't show up on time Chris I think got there like in the third or fourth round Jerry Bear was supposed to get Asia Wilson I don't think he ended up getting he didn't because he wasn't there on time, so his team auto-picked someone else. So then we have a conversation. Rose did. That's another thing.

Rose is now picking people who had dibs on them. Roy, and Rose, do you see now? Now, Roy wasn't there. Rose, do you see now why dibs is not a thing in fantasy? So, thank you. She can't help with the other MVP. Rose, Rose goes and she picks someone that she's not supposed to pick.

So like, we know as commissioner, she can go and she can undo these things and she can just reassign people to her team. She has this power. She doesn't know that though. So we're just like with this trade system and this is where things got really bad and frustrating is that everyone that was there was like,

you know what, I'm gonna respect the dibs. Which again is crazy. I'm gonna respect the dibs. Just trade me this person I'm gonna respect the dibs, just trade me this person for the person you had dibs on, it's all good, we're gonna go. But no one knows who anyone had dibs on. So enter Juju, who just starts sending everyone trades for their best players and saying he had dibs

on those players, and Juju now has this stacked team because he took everyone's dibs players right after the draft in maximum confusion. We gotta redraft. He then just goes and starts saying, I had this person, I had that person, that person's mine. And they're like, okay, okay, like in the spirit of goodwill. He just has the starting five of the aces.

Yeah, he has a ridiculous team because he just said that he had all the dibs players and everybody not knowing were just like, okay, Juju, like I trust you and sent Juju all their best players. So then we're like, Rose, you can just go and you can reassign these players to the teams that had dibs on them. And then Juju's like, well, I don't think that's fair.

I'm so glad I said no to this league. So now Rose doesn't wanna do that. Are you happy, Rose? I'm so glad I didn't get an invite. Well, here's the thing though, because I tried to do my trade for Breonna Stewart for Diana Taurasi. Right. But because she's a better player you tried to trade Brianna

Stewart for Tarassi's 998th that's a bad trade no I was gonna get Brianna Stewart okay yeah because that was my dibs player so I was gonna do with Mike Mallee's dibs player so we agreed exactly we agreed to this fleece Eminem no it didn't let me do no he suggested it didn't let me do it because she's a protected, locked player, so she couldn't be traded to me, but somehow Juju got the trade to him. So anyways, the solution that I have worked up with in my head of how to solve this situation,

because Rose really wants Caitlin Clark, but now I don't have a good team, and Caitlin is my better player on my team. So, if Rose- I can hear Rose screaming from the other room, by the way. She's yelling. So here's- These walls are also soundproof.

Here's the thing. If Rose wants, if Rose wants Caitlin Clark on her team, my proposal is, and this I don't think has ever been done before. And I am putting this in front of you guys to decide whether or not this is okay. If Rose wants Caitlin Clark on her team I think she's gonna have to take trade me Tyler glass now from her fantasy baseball team to my

So Rose I'd like to propose to you a trade in which you will get will work out the specifics after I'll trade you Kaylin Clark and fantasy WNBA, but you trade me Tyler Glass now in fantasy baseball. I give you anyone you want in fantasy baseball. Okay, perfect. So we'll have this conversation after. I actually already sent you a trade proposal if you want to get this accepted. Anyone. I'm already losing. Okay, great. She's a bigger Kaylin Clark fan than Lucy.

It's kind of wild. And like Lucy didn't even argue with that statement. Because it's true, which is crazy. Rose, how did you allow this to happen and become such a mess? No, no, no, no, no, no, that's not my fault. It was Mike Malley, I told him, okay, at seven. Eminem.

Eminem, and I told him, okay, Mike, at seven. He was the only one that answered, and he was like, oh yeah, seven. I was like, okay, you were the first pick? He was the first person to ask if it was at seven, and she said yes, so he confirmed it. He confirmed it. And then he was not there.

And then he took Breanna Stewart. And then you were so mad that you were like, okay, I'm gonna get Katelyn Clark. I'm like, Katelyn Clark is not the second option. You could have gone with Sabrina or whoever. You just went with Katelyn because you were mad. Divs is not a thing. Divs is not a thing.

It is in my league. It is her league. It is my league. I am told that Mike Malley didn't come in today because of all of this. I'm sure. He's on strike. Yeah, he's not in today. He also sent me this long thing apologizing

for the mess that he made, and I was like, I don't really care. Get over it. If I'm gonna be honest. No, you gotta lie and act like you're really upset so you get something out of it. But he's new, I don't want him to feel. Yeah, but he's new to town. I don't feel bad about this He gave me Cameron Brink

But that's not one of your div players No, because I gave him a player that I don't even know who she is, but that's not how trades work Rose And he felt he felt bad. He just gave me Cameron Brink. I'm like okay, but Rose. I get that. I feel bad This is a problem. This is an awful league. I'll get that. But Rose. Feel bad. This is a problem. This is an awful league. It's probably like a Rike Ogunbala. It's probably like a really good player.

I don't feel bad for any of you. Rose, you know how much I love you. You should not be in charge of planning things, respectfully. You should not. Why didn't you guys wanna be in this fantasy league? What? The exact story you just said.

It's the best fantasy league that anybody has done. Yeah. Okay. If you say so. End of discussion. End of discussion. Thank you, Rose. You got glass there. Hey listeners, it's Mike Ryan and I've changed a lot over the course of 20 years that you've known me. I've gone from unlikable to, well, my hair has changed. But my point is,

while a lot's changed over our relationship, there's one thing that hasn't changed one bit, and that's a great taste of Miller Lite. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling. So what's the best thing about the original Lite beer? Miller Lite has sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it. They keep it simple. It's got undebatable quality, great taste, 96 calories, you know all those things. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. But with Miller Lite, you don't have to choose what's best. Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling. It's both those things. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right

to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan. Or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer. Don Lebatard Cheaters never prosper! Stugats I ain't cheatin'! This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. I ain't cheating. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. ["The Stugats Show Theme"] Can I close the loop real quick

before we go to the top five knots? Yes. Sure. I wanna close the Mandy Moore loop. Oh really, This is us? Yeah, so we talked about Mandy Moore because she dated Andy Roddick. We talked about Andy Roddick in the Moment Hall of Fame. Then it got to Mandy Moore. Mandy Moore, to close the Mandy Moore loop that only Taylor cares about,

used to date Taylor's cousin and went to Taylor's house for Thanksgiving and for Christmas. Wow! Yeah. And then if we're going to close the Taylor's cousin loop, Taylor's cousin was an actor. That's how. Oh, look, there's Mandy Moore with Taylor's dad for anyone that knows Taylor's family. I don't know why we're showing that.

Wow. OK. Taylor's having a moment. Yeah, Taylor is having a moment. He is, yeah. Taylor's cousin was an actor and was the person that kept getting pulled over in Super Troopers. So there's Taylor's cousin getting pulled over

in Super Troopers. And that is closing the Taylor loop. Wait a minute. Which one is Taylor's cousin? The guy in super troopers and that is closing the Taylor wait a minute Which one is Taylor's cousin the driver the driver? Oh? Man yeah, that is the person that further yeah So those loops are closed huh? Glad we did that. It's a good show for Taylor

It is he is having a moment. It's crazy It is he is having a moment. It's crazy Where's Tommy top five knots? Yeah, I got the top five knots over you guys ready All right. Yeah, you think thanks for answering. I'm ready So these are your top five knots because the Panthers was down one game to nothing They they tied it up and I told Roy they have game three tonight in Boston I told Roy there are a few better knots than nodding a series up at one game a piece when you're down one out. It's a great not.

Yes, absolutely. Any OLIs, Roy? No OLI, no, no, no outside looking in, no. Huh, really? So we just got five. Only five, wow. Sorry, five. How's that possible?

There's so many nots. I feel like I can think of 10 OLIs just off the top of my head. All right, well we can go with you after the list. That's OK. It says list. Jeez. It's your list.

I don't want to, like, dull your shine. Oh, please. Number five, astronaut. It's a good one. Yeah, yeah. Number four, nachos. That's a stretch. It's a stretch? Okay. It's his list. Number three not working

Much like this list my favorite not number one No, number two number two knotting a series up one one And number one golligan nuts. It's pretty good. Thank you. I like the emphatic phone slam. Oh, I like that. Do you like soggy garlic nut? How do you like your garlic nuts?

Lots of butter. Slightly overcooked, right? Yeah. Crispy. Yeah. Yes. Has to be crispy. Yeah.

No nuts very far. Oh, wow. Oh, aye. Nuts landing? Oh. You. No knots very far. Oh, wow. Knots landing. Oh. You know, you're right. You're absolutely right. Don knots. There's a couple of odds out of the hands there.

Don Van Nata. Oh, wow. There's so many knots. You had so much room for O.L.I.'s. That brings me back to number three, not working, this list. That's it. The bunt line hitch whoo that's a knot I just googled types of knots that was the first one that came

up rope so just asked if I ever did a commencement speech what that would sound like wait are we closing the loop unless we spin the wheel and then we can't do it I created a school called the Stugat School of Broadcasting. Yeah. And we did a commencement speech. Here's a piece of it. A speech. Bo Jackson, listen up.

Students, faculty, parents, grandparents, and sponsors, especially the sponsors today you are the greatest broadcasters in the world you were born to be broadcasters every one of you I'm sick and tired of hearing about what great broadcast schools the Ivies have screw it this is your time I knew it wouldn't be easy to transform sports media, but take it from me. You miss 100% of the takes you don't steal from Greenie, Cowherd, and Popgum. I mean, I've missed more than 9,000 pronunciations in my career. I've lost almost 300 debates.

26 times I've entrusted to make the segment ending joke and misheard what was said in my ear. I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. Always remember what you learned on your first day here. Speak loudly and carry a big shtick. We live in a world that has paywalls and those paywalls have to be guarded by men with journalism degrees. Who's going to do it? You, Lieutenant Wilbond. I have a greater responsibility than you could

possibly family. You weak for newspapers and you curse the blogs and podcasts. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the death of newspapers, while tragic, probably created better content. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, creates better content. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about in press boxes You want me on that radio? You need me on that That's Dan Van Gundy

It was a lot better than the Ohio State one. Oh, thank you Shockingly you didn't try to sell me anything, unlike that guy. Also written on Ayahuasca. Is that on the Wheel of Topics we're not going to talk about? Spin it! Oh, wait. It landed on the TNT NBA rights deal. Oh, whoops, sorry. Yeah, of course, right in the ham is a.

What happened there? A fancy land. How are you guys so calm with the Panthers playing a game in Boston tonight? Roy, you're too calm, I don't like it. Well, it's kind of my personality to be kind of even, so. I'd like to see you nervous once in a while. No, no That's not me Roy's it's stressful playing this role that you're never stressed about anything or nervous about it

absolutely is I feel like your insides must be like Killing you I think the real question about tonight's game is what is the response to the fight like his fat pack and I go after Kachuk are you gonna? He hates me to call fat pat. Well, he is I mean have you seen him this series? I mean, I hate that guy He's on the lightning forever. He's my least favorite hockey player of all time And now he's on the Bruins and he's he's so slow right now Yeah, he's just out there too Like I would not be surprised if he went after Kachuk in this game early

the whole fat pat thing was Jack Edwards who was was the play by play guy for the Bruins, called him fat pat, and Pat Maroon confronted him about it. And now he's a Bruin. The thing about Kachuck is he's not just gonna fight anybody because he's valuable to his team. He's not gonna let the 14th guy on Boston. He's not the fighter. He only fought because it was their best player.

He's like, if pasta wants to fight, because Boston needs pasta. Like he's their best player by far Matthew Kichuck is the guy who starts the scrums basically in these kids He's the agitator and then he doesn't actually fight usually but this one he's just like if pasta wants to fight I'm in but you don't want Chuckie fighting because he's too valuable to the team to Chris's point You can't have him fight can't fight down right pasta. I'm good because if you have fight day in worst case scenario Those guys both go

That's a good thing for the pants to be clear pasta and fat pat are different people. Yes Yes, is their best player fat pat is the fourth line player right now So Roy knows this when the Oilers had their run and Wayne Gretzky was close to getting into a fight or Or Messier any of those guys the goons would come over and take care of business Yeah, they didn't want Gretzky getting hurt They wanted Gretzky on the ice. That's why Chucky is so amazing. Yes. He's everything Well, we're coming off of a playoff last season where he got hurt. He got hurt off of a hit We don't need him get I say we as if I'm part of team

We don't need the Panthers don't need him getting hurt based off a fight where he breaks his hand because he punched They have a dude those moments. I get it. Obviously. I don't want to chuck to get hurt But that moment where he fought Pasta, like that is, that's why Kachuck is here. Yeah, that's why he has the A on his sweater. That's why he's one of the captains. I love him so much. Should have the C though, maybe.

No, no, that's Alexander. Wow, you got mad at me, Roy. You got mad at me. Kachuck is- They should get a ring if they win. Kachuck is very quickly moving up the all-time South Florida sports list. I don't think so. I'm they win. Kachuk is very quickly moving up the all time South Florida sports list.

I don't think so. I'm telling you, Kachuk, he might be already the number one Panther of all time. Just in terms of fans. No, no, it's Alexander Barkov. Crazy. It's Beezer. Yeah, it's Beezer.

It is not John Van Beezer. You have to get to a Stanley Cup, Roy. Get to a Stanley Cup. I get Barkov has been here longer, but I'm telling you, fans, I think fans would vote Chucky right now over Barkov. I don't think you understand how Mount Rushmore works. So like, here's how it works.

I'm not an expert on presidents, but if I go to Mount Rushmore, I know who the presidents are. Doesn't mean they were the best presidents, just means I know who they are when I look at them on a mountain. I don't know but In terms of Panthers, you can't put a Panther on there that like the you know layman doesn't know who they are I mean most I think layman sports fans no Kachak are there any Marlins on the South Florida Mount Rushmore Jeff Kuhn

I know Miguel Cabrera would be the only nomination Yesterday that Monty Harrison is gonna play football at Arkansas I know. No. Miguel Cabrera would be the only nomination. No. I saw yesterday that Monte Harrison is gonna play football at Arkansas. Did you guys see this story? Seeing where all those guys are that we traded, that one trade that we made. We had that graphic the other day.

The yellowish trade, it is, it's comical. Monte Harrison, who's playing college football, is the most successful. Look right there, okay, so here's Mount Rushmore. That's George Washington, that's Monty Harrison okay that's Abraham Lincoln and that's Teddy Roosevelt and then Matthew Kachuk. Is that Thomas Jefferson? So Matthew Kachuk right there. So I know them. Good job. Honestly the second guy looks like Matthew Kachuk a little bit. Maybe it is, maybe they just knew, yeah. Jordan Yamamoto. That's the foreplay. Jordan Yamamoto's a high school coach now.

There is room for a fifth right there, right? There seems to be. Squeeze one in, my face is a good one. Yeah, the Rock. Who would be the Marlin on the South Florida? Miguel Cabrera's no more Marlin. Well, I mean, if you're doing based on like- Chris, they won two World Series. I mean, I think that you would put on like Dontra Willis is like the most one of the most popular ones Jose Fernandez

Very popular on Hernandez. Yeah, best Marlon of all times. We'll Cabrera I mean, but we're not doing best of all time. I think that thought that's exactly what we were doing Those are the four best presidents of all time. I like the most iconic. I think is yeah, that's what I'm saying Yeah presidents of all time. Like the most iconic I think. Yeah that's what I'm saying. Thomas Jefferson. That's why Beezer's on there for me. No, no, no. Do I really have to explain why John Bambi's not going for Beezer?

South Florida? Well apparently he has issues. We're trying to talk around. Marino, Beezer, Shula, Jimmy Johnson. Okay I'm going to have to explain why John Bambi's goingambi's Hold on a second. Let me ask you guys a question. In this Mount Rushmore, because I'm, new segment called changing the subject to save StuGuts, in this, if we're doing a Mount Rushmore

I'm taking Beezer off, I thought about it. Kick saving a Beezer. Thank you. You know, I was kick saving a Beezer, which is why maybe he's on there. He's not on there. Anyway, so if you're doing a Mount Rush mountain or Jimmy John you have one per team like a panther a marlin a heat and a Whatever the fourth is just no goalie dolphin

Yeah, and the discussion is a dolphin wait spin the wheel about messy merino The Beezer we can't talk about it That one was on purpose guys this is a great show Don't say goodbye, okay. No now is the time bye it's on the wall All right, everybody mother's day is I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. a knucklehead. She knows you've been a knucklehead. Please do better. Help your mom feel appreciated this Mother's Day. This is your last chance to lock in these Mother's Day deals only good while supplies last. Order today at 1-800-FLOWERS.COM slash DAN. That's 1-800-FLOWERS.COM slash DAN. Hey listeners, it's Mike Ryan and I've changed a lot over the course of 20 years that you've

known me. I've gone from unlikable to, well, my hair has changed. But my point is, while a lot has changed over our relationship, there's one thing that hasn't changed one bit. And that's a great taste of Miller Lite. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling. So what's the best thing about the original Lite beer? Miller Lite has sparked this debate way back in 1975 and we still haven't settled it.

They keep it simple. It's got undebatable quality, great taste, 96 calories, you know all those things. It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. But with Miller Lite you don't have to choose what's best. Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling. It's both those things. Tastes like Miller time! To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer.