The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Mike Schur's Jimmy Butler Nightmare
Episode Date: December 22, 2023The crew goes to the Bucket of Death and recaps the polls as they continue to pick topics from the Wheel of Issues. Then, Mike Schur has asked for the crew's help in some dream analysis after waking u...p from a nightmare involving Jimmy Butler. Plus, the Lenny and Willow show, Stugotz plays H.O.R.S.E. with his wife, and some merch store updates. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Welcome to the big suite!
Presented by Giraffe King.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants, just walking past tables
to grab somebody's fries, that if they're just there,
that hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching band to nowhere,
that face and the habitual liar.
I am unable to find anything that resembles order around here every
time something gets taken off of the wheel. I see something else ends up on the wheel. There
was a number 89 playing quarterback for Syracuse last night in the Boca Bowl. Tough game for Syracuse.
They want a color clash though. Oh, I love bowl games. Zero boys. Happy for the bulls. My bulls. I need UCF and George
attack to go over 66 and a half
points in like the worst way. Like
it's it's it was a four dollar
15 leg parlay. I can win three
hundred and ninety two bucks. I'm
being offered a cash out. This was
not on the wheel. I'm not gonna
take it. None of this was on the
wheel. I just I'm a big believer in
Haines King right now. I like the kid. How'd you land on the wheel. I just, I'm a big believer in Haynes King right now.
I like the kid.
How'd you land on $4?
It was all I had left in the account
and you're not gonna have an account of $4.
That's embarrassing.
I walked out of the magic city,
because you know, the other day with $0.58 left
on one of the slot machines
because I'm not going up to the ticket window together.
That's where you went after. That's right. It was one of the sad things I I'm not going up to the ticket window. That's where you went after.
That's right.
It was one of the sad past me. I'll please ever done.
Yes.
In my wife.
She wanted, she wanted to pull the stick in there.
Wow.
Yeah.
Do you ever?
I'll leave it in the, I'll just leave it.
If I have like 42 cents left, I leave it.
I'll just leave it for the next person.
Just let somebody else come up and boil us like a are boilers, like how does their day made?
Yeah.
And then when I get to a machine sometimes,
it's like, oh, there's 28 cents on this thing, sweet.
Pay it for it, it's like, take a penny, leave a penny.
Sometimes Jessica, it pays to wait just an extra second there
before you get in.
Uh, small windows.
That's wonderful.
I know, it is, it's very...
That kind of thing.
It's very difficult. Let's go ahead and spin the wheel
again. It's like ANSI copetard to score a point and UCF total like those are like the last two
legs is a weird one. Can you guys explain this part to me because I don't understand and maybe you
don't have the backstory on this. Western Kentucky when they came back against Old Dominion, they just inserted a quarterback
who threw five touchdowns. And it felt like he had just arrived in the portal at that moment
that the portal was a magical flume. What is the backstory? When you are a third stringer,
when you're in the portal, I think, but you still played in the game. Yeah, that's right.
Play tight end or something. Yeah, there's a there was two different approaches to the
game. The Old Dominion coach. Oh, you want a, there was two different approaches to the game, the old dominion coach.
Oh, you want a portal?
Get out of here.
You're not allowed to play in this esteemed famous toastery bowl.
And Western Kentucky's like, yeah, let's let it ride.
And there's a lot of portal players that are playing in bowl games.
And I, I pulled disclosure, I didn't know you could do that.
I thought that once you portal the, you kind of doosed, but it's not the,
it's not the case.
And a lot of guys are using the, the bowl games to showcase their skills and get that bag.
The craziest thing about that comeback was the 15 year penalty Western Kentucky got because
the ref tripped over a old dominion coach on the sideline.
And it set them up for a touchdown late in the game.
It was like one of the craziest.
There were so many pass interference penalties at the end of that game.
It was just insane.
I have to admit, it is the greatest famous hostry,
Bull ever.
That's a bad job by the get back coach.
Yeah.
I wasn't even on the wheel.
Do any of you understand?
Well, what was on the wheel is number 89 playing quarterback for Syracuse.
Yeah.
So like usually if the San Jose sharks are playing, just go to the player props, take the opposing
team, the big dog Z usually against the San Jose sharks. And that's been my logic all season long. Oh, we're opposing team, the big dog's eat, usually against the San Jose sharks.
And that's been my logic all season long.
Oh, we're playing the sharks, big dog's eat.
You wanna put that on the pole?
I don't wanna put any more.
Do the big dog's eat against the San Jose sharks.
Put it on the pole, fine, do this, fine.
At Lebitar Show, but spin the wheel, please.
Because also on the wheel now,
is more people are leaving New York
than any other place in the United States.
Don't come here, please. You made me. Oh my God. Polls.
And they're brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Epic razors,
Epicly affordable. Find them in stores or online. If you're dicker, the kicker,
should you lean into the dick? 92% say yes. Should Matthew Stafford be in the hall of fame simply
because playing in Detroit didn't make him quit. 89% say yes. When someone says they don't care, do they
actually care? 84% say yes. Are you surprised that the third string quarterback at Texas
is making three times as much as Brock Pertie? That's crazy. Come on. 61% not shocked by
that. Really? Come on. And finally, is it could care less or couldn't care less?
89% say couldn't.
Those are the polls.
So what is it?
Is it couldn't care less or I could care less?
Well, they both mean their own thing,
but people use it incorrectly.
Can we circle back on the shark's one
once we have representative data?
The shark's one wasn't on the wheel.
You put it on the wheel. Do the big dog's eat against the sand't on the wheel. You put it on the wheel.
Do the big dog Zed against the San Jose.
You put it on the wheel because you had $4 left in your account and you decided to
15 team parlay.
Should I cash out?
Should you hedge against $392?
I mean, yeah, because like $100, it's like a $170 payout for, you know, a $4 investment.
I feel like that's kind of worth it.
Because I can think about all the $4.00 parlay as I can make with that.
Do you hedge by half or do you hedge by less than half?
Because the way I generally hedge is I try to get my money back,
but in this case it would be $4.00.
So all I'm trying to do is make sure I don't lose money as my head.
Yeah, you can tell by the $4.00 parlay,
I'm not the kind of guy that likes to hedge.
If I got $4.00 left, we're letting that sucker ride.
I have one more poll from the week to update.
Is play action in football considered a lie?
Come on.
We have three options here.
Yes, no, and small fib.
I mean, that one's the only show.
50% say small fib.
Definitely a small fib.
It's not a lie.
Mike Ryan, what can be said on air about
what happened with you as the chargers and Jacksonville? Because you took a season's worth
of all or nothing on that game because you were so confident that the chargers were going
to beat Jacksonville and the playoffs and they were up 27 nothing. It was a, it was
a very legal pool with friends where you pick against the spread.
I'd done well all season long and there are tears.
I had the chargers not blowing that 27 to zero lead.
I would have finished in considerable price.
Miami would have Cam War right now, he's saying.
Miami would have a natty right now.
Like, he and Coleman would have been here.
Like, basically Cameron Digger, Brandon Saley changed the trajectory of college football history
and they didn't even know it.
That's the worst loss you've ever felt, right?
The worst you ever felt about a game.
In that loss, it wasn't necessarily the money that I had writing on it.
Like, oh, this hurts.
I can't lose this. It was the potential earnings being ripped away.
So it doesn't sting as bad,
but that could have helped a lot, you know,
I'd like to send Juliet to college.
You mentioned cam ward,
give us, since we're still in the local hour live on YouTube,
give us cam ward information, please.
Cam ward, I don't, I think it's not
about leveraging other schools right now
in terms of, he's still talking to Miami.
Miami's still talking all these quarterbacks
that are available, but it's not necessarily the way
that you would think watching this from the outset
is he's leveraging other schools against Miami.
He's actually leveraging the NFL
because according to the advice he's getting,
he thinks he might
be a day two, early day three, draft pick.
I've talked to some NFL personnel people.
That is not the grade that they have on him.
They have more of a six round draft pick.
And I think he kind of maybe overplayed his hand a little bit while I think right now,
if I were handicapping it, I think he ends up going to Miami over the NFL or another school.
But he was never going to have more leverage than he had on an early signing day.
Because as the Jeremiah Smith stuff was going on, they were also still working on cam
ward.
And if you had the cam ward announcement, that's a lot of positive traction on the road to
Jeremiah Smith.
And the fact that he didn't make a deal and sign on that day, now Miami is incentivized
to let the sing play out.
Okay, you want to leverage the NFL? Go talk to some more NFL people and sign on that day. Now Miami's incentivized to let the sing play out. Okay, you wanna leverage the NFL,
go talk to some more NFL people and see where you are.
So I think you made a miscalculation honestly,
and not signing on early signing day
because that's the most leverage he'd ever have.
Sounds like Miami's trying to ward off the NFL.
Huh.
Huh.
And the loser game show sound came in
before I even finished the joke, you're like
my dad.
You have that tone where we know where you're going.
It's the, it's, we know where you're headed before you've started.
I have one more poll here just because we like to have fun.
Nick Toxie is a week enough time for you to get a single turkey.
81% say yes.
We should make that a good at death punishment.
Find a turkey inside a week because it was so laborious for a Roy had more than a week to do it who is
going to the bucket of death here I can smell it's been the wheel I could
smell I could smell the Reaper but go ahead and spin the wheel
Oh my god. Who is going to the wheel here?
How many different people?
Well, we're going to the bucket, damn.
Sorry, my bad.
Not going to the wheel, it's all right.
We've got a lot of things on that wheel.
It's very confusing, trying to jam.
A lot of things here into wheel. It's very confusing trying to jam a lot of things here
Into the show at the ear end. Basically everyone here outside of Jesuil who has a golden helmet of life
Everyone here is going. We got a pick for two gots and that's it. Okay. Anybody want to pick for Greg Cody? Let's pick for Greg I'll pick for my dad. Yeah, you pick for Greg Cody. I might have already picked okay. Well then just two gots fine
Whatever guys, let's get my dad to helmets
Yes, wind both Jeremy has the Broncos, I think right? I do six and a half point favorite at home against the Patriots
I think will take over the bucket. I'll take that I think willow goes to the bucket and then if he if she loses we dress her up. Okay
Let's make this even a good idea. I'micated. Good idea. Well, Bernie against the clock.
No, no, no, no, no.
I want Willow to reach in and grab it.
Wizard of Oz.
Lions Tigers, Bears.
I'll take the Lions at the Vikings.
There are three points favorite at the Vikings.
Kirk Cousins' wife says he will be available for the Super Bowl.
Take your time, Reaper.
I mean, geez, just saturday.
The Reaper's afraid of Willow. Willow is agitated by the Reaper. Willow does Take your time Reaper. I mean, jeez, just sautering over the reaper. The reaper is afraid of Willow. Willow is
agitated by the Reaper. Willow does not like the Reaper. The Reaper's had a
rough year. Well, sick of them. In general, I did not have the Reaper being as
death-scared of Willow. I'm Willow, but that's what's happening right here.
See, rummaging. Tony's got the Pack Packers the Packers are a
a
a
a
a
a
a a
a a
a
a
a a
a
a a
a a
a a
a
a a
a a
a a
a
a a a a Hey, thanks. Thanks, Tony. Good joke. Look at him in the bucket. What is Willow pick?
She picked the Jaguars.
Now the Jaguars is one point spread.
They're one point favorite at Tampa.
Willow.
Uh, Willow's putting it back.
This is good, good fun.
Oh, no.
The dogs picking from a little.
Willow, I've got the raider.
You lose there with a 10 point dog on Monday.
It's a chief.
Willow likes dogs. Bryce is stepping up there for the chiefs. Looks like they've got no clue what she just did.
No, it's a ten point underdog, Willow. She seems fine with it.
I've got the Buffalo Bill. Turn the mic on, she has something to say.
I've got the Buffalo Bill's. They're playing a game on peacock against Easton's stick. I'm keeping them.
The bills are a ten and a half point favorite.
It's about as good as you can get in this bucket today.
This went well with Claire. I think we let Willow talk here.
What I am going to do actually is reaper have a seat next to me here real quick after I pick
and put the headset on. I got the falcons. I don't think I want that.
Green lizard in the back, either Heinecke against the Colts, one point favorite.
Now I got the commanders.
Oh, I got against the jets.
They are on the road.
Sam Hell.
Reapers had a rough year.
Reaper has never been allowed to talk publicly or privately, but the Reaper has a very strong opinion.
He wants to shred Tony with. Go head Reaper.
You know, Don, as an angelus timeless merchant of death, like I am, I've heard and seen some
wild shit. But the other day when bully, Gil and Tony said that the movie jaws the stealing
spieber of classic sucked, that for me was just too much disrespect. Yes, very disrespectful,
especially coming from people who have never seen Terminator
2.
They've never seen Terminator 2 judgment day down.
Don Lebertard.
Yes, you can't talk about double-digit national titles when every single call of you winning
the national title.
It sounds like this.
Oh, there's a stepping jacker running down his eyeline.
That's really easy.
If you're audio, yeah, that's not true. And there's a wall-ball-two veteran pitching into another white guy and he avoids another white guy
Oh my god, no name the fighting Irish have done it again for the
Got
Sorry
Black I was really
Sorry He's black and I was like, what's the name? Shubby Checker. I think I'm like, I'm sorry, man.
I'm in Provinear.
It's a pretty cool rip.
That's a shabby checker running down the side.
He smells it differently.
All right.
Maybe you didn't hear me correctly.
His name is Chubby Chakas.
Is an S at the end.
And I feel like that should be the largest of five.
And Chubby Chakas, It sounds like a college football name.
This is the Dalébatá show with the Stukats.
All Barra has now taken off all of his makeup.
He is just showing off chest hair
an uncomfortable amount of chest hair,
not usually something that Mike Ryan does a whole lot of
around here.
Usually he's very guard about these things.
So the appropriate amount for me.
Is it?
Nice amount of chest hair.
The worst part about the punishment was discovering
that there was only one makeup removal wipe.
Because Dan's so goddamn kinky, we're always
dressing up around here.
So I had to apply baby wipes to my face.
Just white little dingleberries all over my beard, not fun.
I don't want you guys to ever be able
to get the costumes off.
I want you to be perpetually in costume.
Mike sure called me last night with a terrible idea.
We are now going to attempt to execute.
He believes that his dreams, his sports dreams
are ripe for our analysis. So Mike
sure, thank you for being on with us. We will get to your stat of the day in a moment.
But can I get you any imaging? Can I do anything to dress up this segment? You're somebody
who works at the height of entertainment. I should just trust your judgment on what's
going to be good and what's not going to be good. What do you need here to support the
dream that you had last night? Honestly, what I really need is just some like help. I need help interpreting this dream because I
find dreams abstract and confusing and surreal. And I was hoping I had a real dream that I found
very hard to interpret and understand. And I thought if I brought it to my friends here at Medo
Lark, they could maybe help me. This is an actual real dream that I had two nights ago.
So can I just tell you the facts?
I'll just tell you exactly what it was.
And then I think if we put our heads together, we can figure out maybe what's bothering me.
All right.
We can do that, but we will support, as soon as you begin, we will support it with something.
Mike and his chest hair will summon something.
Okay.
Great.
So I'm going to tell you the dream.
And I will say that again, this is a real dream that
happened to me.
And also, unlike, I mean, El Hassan's dreams, this one will not take 40 minutes to explain.
So here we go.
Here's my dream.
Ready?
I'm walking along in a large crowd, and I somehow understand that I'm going to see
a sporting event of some kind.
I'm nervous.
I feel like anxiety that I about what's going to happen.
I'm with a group of people, but the group of people
keeps getting kind of lost in the crowd,
and I'm trying to catch up to them
and sort of keep us together.
There is an earthquake.
Everyone screams,
people start falling into large holes in the ground.
I fall, I reach out and grab someone's arm
and I look up and it's Jimmy Butler.
The power forward,
small forward sometimes for the Miami Heat.
You probably know him.
So Jimmy Butler is holding me
The ground under me has opened and there's just an abyss under me. He's looking down. It's and smiling at me
I try to make a joke like I try to make some kind of funny joke
About how he plays for the heat and I and I have said things about him in the past that
He might not have liked
if he heard, I can't form the joke. I can't like come up with the witty quip to say. And
he's just staring at me and he's holding me up. And then in a flash it becomes extremely
clear to me that he is going to let go of me and I'm going to die and there is nothing I can do.
And then I wake up. So it's so hard to understand, you know, dreams are just so
maddening and I just wish that there is a way that I could understand what this dream makes. To be clear, does anybody have any of this? I'm hearing this for the first time, he's not
making any of this up. This is not from his creative mind.
This is a nightmare that will come up. This is like this is the end meets Lion King.
Was Jimmy Butler in uniform as he did? Yes, yes, he was indeed. He was in, well, he was
in like a, like a, like a warm up, a red heat warm up uniform, he kind of the thing.
Odd time for a joke, by the way, right? When he's trying to save you. But that's the thing is I was like, it's, yeah, maybe you'll forgive me for the things I've
said about you. And like I was trying to, I was trying to do that version of a joke, you know.
You were trying to please him. You were trying to have him save your life.
I also an odd time for that. Well, but I was like, no hard feelings, right? But kind of thing,
you know what I mean? What he's trying to do, you're right, it's an odd time for that. Well, but I was like, no hard feelings, right, but kind of thing. You know what I mean? What he's trying to do, you're right. It's an odd time for that, Chris, but
what he is trying to do is summon what he believes to be his singular talent in order to save
his life. And he can't even summon what is the. He's trying to please Jimmy Butler with the only thing that he does that brings anyone
pleasure.
That's right.
He's right.
And he can do it.
And Jimmy Butler laughs at his pain and then does let you go.
You have the feeling of falling that wakes people up.
He has let go and that's when you wake up.
In dream, Jimmy Butler's defense, he did not actually let me go. I just in my head was like,
oh, I'm dead. He's going to let me go. And that's when I woke up.
That's even worse because it's just showing in your dreams that you're so fearful of what he's
going to do to you in the future that he doesn't even have to do it to you for you to feel that same sensation of fear
repeating itself over and over again. Yes, thank you. Jeremy Tashay, that's an excellent analysis.
I have more questions. I have more questions. How many people are around? Are all of them falling
into holes? Big crowd, large crowd. I again knew that there were several people who were like in my group,
but I could, I was, I could see them in the distance. I was trying to get to them. I assume one of
them was Bill Simmons, one of them was Michael Malley and one of them was Kevin Hedge, but I don't know.
Are there family members you love here or your children or? No, no, this is purely, this is purely
sports tribalism at play here. How many holes do you hear the screaming
of death and whatnot? How often do you have dreams that involve you falling great distances?
Because those are the, those are some of the worst. I would say that some of the worst
dreams I have I wake up from because I'm falling. No, I'm not a, I, I don't remember my dreams
very often, but I don't recall another dream where I was in
an earthquake or any kind of hole or a bis opening up underneath me.
This is a first.
Dan, do you still have that dream where you're stuck in a tube?
Because you said you have that dream on.
Upside down, yeah.
Upside down with stuck in a tube.
Like the bank tube?
I mean, but my side.
Neumatic tube.
And I'm stuck and I've got my hands.
I'm doing a handstand, but I'm also stuck, where's Jason Tatum? Is Tatum there? No, God no.
I don't.
The celibate fear.
Why are you pleasuring?
Why would I have trouble sleeping because of the celibates?
I just assume that when people have nightmares, it's always that they're, that they're opposing rival basketball team members are there. That's based on my experience. That's
what happened.
If it's Jaylen Brown holding you, just force him to turn to his left.
Who do I dream is pleasureing me? Is the question?
No, I can say he was trying to please Jimmy Butler. So I was wondering in your dream,
who are you pleasing? Can you tell me more information about whether there are any other heat players involved
in this dream? Are there any other people you recognize? Is he holding you by the wrist,
by the hand, how flimsy is his grip? Are you feeling safe while he's holding you?
It was an action movie. It was one of these deals, you know, like an action movie, hand to sort of mid forearm kind of a deal.
And it was very clear just to just so everyone understands us. It was very clear that Jimmy Butler could easily pull me up and get me to safety.
Like that was I was like, oh, he, if he wants to, he can do that.
He's a large, strong person.
And, and then I just realized like he's not going to do that.
He's going to let me go.
But did you feel initially safe? And then his face came into focus and you realized it was Jimmy Butler?
Like how did that hold?
Yes, I felt relief because I hadn't fallen and then I looked up and and saw it was Jimmy Butler and was like, oh no.
It's a reveal. So you're saying that it's a way. Are you scanning up on his body?
Like when when the realization that this is not a dream
You're not being saved. It's a nightmare is is how's that unfold? It was like look
It was like falling looking down seeing the abyss
Great getting caught and immediately like looking up and just right at his face and seeing like oh, it's it's do you bother?
I'm dead. Well, and this is like your own creation within the good place slash the bad place with
everything sort of falling into a bice and everything spiraling out of control, except in
this case, it would just be giant Jimmy Butler's walking around, saving you from what is supposed
to be a good ending here, which is, hey, I'm saved, I'm not falling into this pit.
And yet here we are, Jimmy Butler staring me in the face, laughing at me as he always does. Yeah, I think that I thought at what I woke up, I was like,
oh, this is the nightmare is that I'm in a world where Jimmy Butler is, is a God figure.
And he has the, he has the ability to decide whether I live or die or am happy or sad.
And then when I woke up, I was like, oh, that's the world I actually live in.
That's right. It's not a dream. It's only your reality all the time. The playoffs are always,
let's go ahead and play the start of the day music. I'm hoping too. You can give us some
some illumination on everything happening with the Dodgers. and this is the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day
the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the day the start of the start of the day the start of the day the is
that of the day is brought to you by Venmo
that
you know I'm not scared of is the the
pistons
pistons have lost 25 straight games the
all-time record is 26
their last win was October 28 against the bulls in the third game of the year.
So if the pistons lose to the nets in Brooklyn on Friday, they will both tie the record for
longest losing streak in the NBA history. And also, they will have gone from before Halloween
to after Christmas without winning a single basketball game. That's crazy.
or Christmas without winning a single basketball game. That's crazy. I'm going to see them in Boston on the on the 28th and I'm terrified. I'm going to have another nightmare about this.
I'm terrified that that's where the winning streak will end. There's something to sit
everybody and that the fist is going to look like you under I just told you what I was dreaming
about. You don't think I'm scared of things like that?
You don't know me at all.
You have less than a minute left here.
And last time we talked, we said Atlanta is better than the Dodgers and that the Dodgers
still need pitching.
The Dodgers no longer seem to need pitching.
What do you make of them spending more than a billion dollars before the Marlins have spent
a dollar?
It's truly wild.
And also, by the way, I think the Red Sacks have spent $1 million and they are a large
market team.
I think the Dodgers amazingly still need pitching.
They have multiple guys with multiple Tommy John surgeries.
They got glass now, which will help, although he has been healthy in two or three years.
I think they still crazily need pitching because of all of the injuries to all of the guys
that they've had over the last few years. So this is great for me because it keeps them
out of New York. The Yankees have gotten them. I think they would have walked away with
the East, but it's pretty amazing. I think I tried to look this up and I couldn't for
the start of the day. I believe that the Dodgers have spent more money in this off season than
the Marlins or
maybe raise having their entire history.
See you later, it's very possible.
Good talking to you, Sarah.
Good seeing you.
Thanks.
Thanks for helping with my dream and sweet dreams, son.
It's a great dream.
Donald Lebatard, for some reason, would do a Gary Stevens impersonation of the offensive
coordinator of the Miami
Dolphins and the University of Miami. Go ahead, you want to do that for the people?
You're Gary Stevens impersonation. You want to give people some of that 30 years
in the making. Who gots? Who needs me? Oh, that.. You're gonna go to Buffalo and win with Bernie Parmaly?
Who needs, Jake?
This is the Dalé Batá Show with this two guys.
Around here over the holidays, we had a whole lot of family members milling about Claire and
well, Willow the Dog was the first one in the building, I feel like. Willow was open to
portal to we're going to have a work environment that allows children and animals.
And she's really marked her territory, if you know what I mean. Wait, she did? She's
pissed everywhere. Oh no. Where is she right now? She's sleeping marked her territory, if you know what I mean. Wait, she did? She's pissed everywhere. Oh, no.
Where is she right now?
She's sleeping underneath my feet.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
That is nice.
I would like to spend more time with her.
I would like for you, like, man,
Mina Kimes used the power to get Lenny some real fame,
some legitimate monetizable fame.
I believe that Willow should be a show character
and I believe Willow deserves
percentages and Willow needs to spend some time around here except that mean doesn't like
Willow and it's a human resources hazard.
Now, I'm just spitballing here. This just came to me as you said it. What do we think about
the first ever dog led podcast which is with Willow and Lenny?
Wow.
Oh my God. That's actually, I've been waiting for Angel to send me a cartoon mock up of Willow's
face so that we could put it on March for like two years.
I don't know where it's, but he's busy making Tuché Tache T-shirts, I guess.
Who gets top billing, though, who's the only debate?
I think Lenny does, right?
I mean, couple of dogs, cut it out.
Lenny's a veteran in the space.
Yeah, Lenny's had a podcast for, what, five,
five years now?
It's been a long time.
Yep.
So I don't think Willow would be insulted,
but I will have to run it by her agents.
And of course, 80, 20 her way.
Now I've got Willow as like the Stugots character
for some reason.
I don't know, because the co-host is Willow
as big a liar as Stugots is.
Lenny with Willow?
Yes, featuring.
The thing that I wanted to get to Stugots is. Ready with Willow? Yes. Featuring. The thing that I wanted to get to, Stugots, before dogs and children and family members, the
conversation about them interrupted, is that for one of the few times in our history,
I'm going to dare say, maybe the only time recently, your wife and champion daughter came
in here and spent some
time listening to the show, didn't seem to be very interested in anything that we were
doing.
No.
But you have been offered his wife to come in and listen to us.
She's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Well, but over, like, Stugat's isn't an interesting time in his life, right?
Like, we sort of skipped right past the idea that he lost his mother and that was hard,
and like, he had to, you know, send girls off to college and now you're in a home with your wife
after many years of marriage and the kids aren't around anymore.
And now it's just you and your wife.
It's you and your wife and you got to figure out after many years of marriage.
All right, like what do we still have in common?
We've been about this for 15 years.
You got to do all the assessing that people do in marriages when they arrive at this point in life.
Why were you playing horse with your wife though under what circumstances did that happen?
We discovered Dan and it took our kids leaving the college as you said. We discovered that we both share a passion for the game horse.
course. And so what we have started is a weekly horse game. I don't know what you do when you go out for your weekly horse game with Valerie, but for me and Abby, when we go out
to play horse, we take it seriously. You also take a gummy, but we take it seriously.
I'm pictures, yeah, pictures and fun stuff here. Well, yeah, well, you'll say horse.
So we play horse. She goes by the standard H, O, R, S, E. I go H-O-A-R-S-E. Okay. So I mean.
Cheating. Yes. That's funny. Yeah. But here's the thing Dan. Every once in a
while they get off a good word play. Your father the other day said hey hey guys
did you hear Dion Sanders? He had hype replacement surgery. That's good. Every once in a while.
I love it.
So anyway, I don't know what to do because now to make the game, you know, kind of just
to even out, you know, because I'm really good at basketball.
As what I'm trying to say, the jumper is so pure Dan, I still have it.
I still have the form.
I could still shoot from half court.
I could still go behind the basket on the baseline throwing over the basket put it in.
I'm trying to win these games, but I'm also at the same time trying to take my wife's temperature. Is she mad at me? Is this ridiculous? So now I'm down to Elk, okay. Gives her a better chance of competing with me and trying to win the game.
But I'm also wondering, do I give her the game?
Do I allow her to win?
Because keep in mind, our weekly horse games, Dan, Sunday afternoons.
And you know what happens on Sunday night.
And it hasn't happened as recently as it used to.
And I'm starting to wonder, do I let her win at the game of horse?
That's what I'm thinking.
You got to throw those.
So definitely on Sunday night.
I got to throw them, right? That's what I'm thinking, but I'm
not. I'm competitive. I want to win. So then I want to show off the J. I want to cost
the wait. This is what happens when you get an S. The emptiness. I was thinking, you know,
in my mind, you know, maybe things slow down a little bit when the kids are, you know,
in high school and stuff. But once they leave, oh, baby, you're telling me it's just less
of that just playing horse. They've been gone for nearly two years.
Do you, do you have it being some sort of sensual horse like Stugat's sweaty and
strip horse trying to win? Okay.
You are? So just, I've got them in the back, a half coin is back here.
Let's think about this for a second because the way that you have strip horse, and I'm
not saying that, uh, that we're not, uh, as a country and as a globe possibly repressed in some areas.
But you think it's sensual to have stugots remove items of clothing one by one.
You think that's going to create a scenario where a great deal of desire fills anybody
who's across from this.
I've got them both at the end and sneakers only.
Actually, begs me to leave them on. I mean, better group.
To answer your question, yes, Dan. I mean, when he said me and my wife were playing horse,
I was like, fist me. Chris Cody, it might be the horniest person that I've ever met.
What? That's a t-shirt. That's a different game too.
It's like fist me. It played horny. That's a t-shirt.
That's like fist, Roy, fist me. Come on, get your mind out of it. That's a no one. No It's like fist me. And play horny. That's a feature. That's like fist, Roy fist me.
Come on, get your mind out of it.
That's a good, no one.
No, not good.
I want, I got it.
Roy fist me.
Angel, I am ordering something that I want up by the end of this segment.
Okay.
I want fist me as a t-shirt that we immediately sell for Chris Cody because he just wants
a pound.
I'll wear a shirt that says, Fisbee.
And there has to be a fist there because,
yeah, so I just, and Fisbee.
No, no, no.
So you can get pounded.
Exactly.
Anytime Roy wants.
How about a T-shirt with me just in my sneakers?
In favor of that.
Even better.
And the show logo just, even better.
And a discount code.
I enjoyed by the end of this segment,
I would also like a T-shirt with horsebell.
I H O A. You did not as well. H O A. H O A R S E's across his and then people will think it's a
horse penis, but no, it's just screaming and horse because it never gets sex on Sunday night
because it thinks strip horse is a good idea.
Storrs.
There's something here, guys.
A t-shirt and nothing more.
Chris has multiple horny t-shirts.
The entire, what?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? What?
What? What?
What? What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Dominating. I would also like at the end of this segment, Angel, a I love twerking type of t-shirt with Greg
Cody's face on it. By the end of this segment, I want that t-shirt. I want our t-shirt company to get
faster and better about printing art instantaneously. So do you let Valerie win? What do you do? I mean,
on horse? Well, I will tell you the honest story that a long time ago, God, I don't even like looking at this. It makes me feel deeply uncomfortable. But I was 19 years old or something
and I'm dating someone I deeply care about who used to be a Rutgers basketball player
and she was great and she kicked my ass and I couldn't handle it like the Scarlet Knights.
Yes, thank you. She just, she crushed me and I crossed over got you.
I mean, the whole game got me.
I had no, like I thought I was still got to basketball.
Woo, I can eat jumbers and stuff.
And she just annihilated me.
Did you, uh, while there was a picture, a softball picture,
you take a swing and then you fill it down,
then that happened to.
Yes, that's good.
They can find that video on the internet. No, I think her name was Claire
too. If I'm not mistaken, she was like an Olympic softball player and she threw me a fast
ball. I'm like, no, I got this now. And then she went change up and I like stumbled all
the way down the third base line and like fell down because I was not like, I'm like,
okay, I got her time now. And no, but change up on the second.
That's your practice way.
I did not bear. That is cool. She knew I was going to go up there with all the mail.
I go and yeah, I fall on my face.
To answer your question, no, do not let her win.
Leaman and I play pickleball and tennis with each other all the time.
And nine times out of ten, he beats me because he's incredibly athletic.
And I'm struggling to keep up.
He's got like, but your athletic and competitive too.
I'm extremely competitive. But it'll be a fun game, but your athletic and competitive too. I'm extremely competitive, but like it'll be,
it'll be a fun game, but he'll always win.
But there's one time where I will win every like 20 games
and it feels amazing.
And I want to, I get so excited about it.
No, it's patronizing, do not do it.
She'll win one of these days.
She's gonna glow in your face.
You can't be that good.
I mean, I'm good.
Like I'm not saying you, I'm sure you can hit a jumper.
You think it's like golf.
No offense.
This is horse though.
I mean, it's a game.
It's the game.
You painted a picture of you're going like reverse layups.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not saying that.
You didn't have court.
I like this.
I'm draining them from half court. No, I can reach from half court.
So I take that shot.
If it goes in, Abby can't even reach.
I mean, she just can't.
She drives because I drained one right in her face.
Did you hit six three pointers in high school?
I did in a half.
Yeah.
Long Island record at the time.
I'm not certain it's still stands.
I did that against Long Beach at Shriver High School.
Six threes and a half. I was cold in the Beach at Shriver High School. Six threes and
anos cold in the first half came out cold. But once I warmed up, six consecutive threes
second half. I said, Jessica, you are right to roll your eyes at this. I'm actually a
Paul by Shackle. Just the general idea of Roy going that lazily to one of the old hits.
Just toss to gots the question that he most wants to talk about like.
Here's a softball like that change that you can.
All right.
I'm going to make a change up in the studio.
Get your ass out of here.
What did I do?
That was content.
That was a tough fight.
It's content.
That is content.
It's like a stream right now.
We got Dan hitting against a softball.
Oh my gosh.
You'll Dan.
Oh, I'm staying for this one.
No, no, you're not.
Yes, out.
Out.
Come on.
Roy, out.
Your hair still looks great by the way, Dan. I don't think people tell you're not. No, yes, out, out. Come on. Roy out. Your hair still looks great by the weekend. I don't think people tell you that enough.
They don't say nice to things to me about anything,
about how I look.
Good eyebrows, too.
You got a good set of eyebrows on you, Dan.
That's true.
They're figuring out where in the video is exactly you hitting.
It's a 20 minute video, so give us a second.
All right, so wait a minute.
So, you've got to die with you, by the way.
It's Dave Barry in a legend.
A Pulitzer Prize winning.
Dave Barry? Yes, humorous Pulitzer Prize winning. Dave Barry?
Yes.
Humorous.
Yeah.
Wow.
He had a great dedication in the beginning of Greg and Ron McGill's book.
Look better than yours, Dan.
He's one of the best writers of any kind.
I've ever known in my life because he can write funny and that's the hardest thing.
Nobody can write funny.
It's so hard to write funny.
We will see if we can get this up here as the punch line to wherever it is this segment ends up here we are all right we are
uh... they are in the area here hold on stop it there
oh wow
you're dead okay no see i'm okay all right all right you got me with the first one
okay with this is pull the right here watch it
oh my god
oh my god Oh, Daniel. Oh, she pulled the rug. You're sitting fastball. You're waiting for it. Oh, I love that. I
need that on a loop. Here comes the fastball blows by him. And then the very next pitch Dan Sidden read watch this change up
Balls down the line stuck in his heels. Oh, you got to watch this on YouTube if you're not