The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: My Gas Goes North
Episode Date: July 12, 2024David welcomes Adnan Virk to the show for an...interesting...segment as they share their Top 5 Sexiest Scenes in Movie History (Weird week, guys). Then, Lucy, JuJu, and the rest of crew try to give Da...vid some advice on how he can get more sleep after another sleepless night at The Elser. Plus, Angel Reese's double-doubles, the story of Ichiro's 3000th hit, Caitlin Clark's other-worldly stat line, and the most difficult MLB records to break. Also, Lucy tells the stories of her worst job experiences and David delivers his Top 5 Things He'd Do If He Were a Physically Bigger Person. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the
good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the
night. That's the powerful backing of American Express.
Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card other
conditions apply.
Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're
just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now here's the marching man to nowhere,
fat face and the habitual liar.
One of the best things about sitting alone,
and there aren't many, because I don't love to be alone,
is that I get to decide when we can talk movies.
And I get to fart.
I'm not a big farter, I'm a burper.
People have always known that about me.
It's very strange actually.
Everybody knows that about you?
Yeah, they do.
How do you control your farts versus your burps?
I just, I don't have, my gas goes north, not south.
Oh.
Straight from all them jelly beans you be eating
nowadays, bruh.
It could be.
I have, I thought that I could whip out the candy,
but I'm not that hungry thanks to the great waffles and eggs I had prior. But I get to talk movies and
there's no one I'd rather talk movies with than Adnan. And guess what Adnan, welcome
to the show. Adnan of course you watch one MLB network, you listen to his Cinephile pod
and we have no one to say they don't want to talk about what we want to talk about.
And guess what? I'm in charge.
We're going all day.
David, I love this is when adversaries become friends, right?
Foes become accomplices because you are right.
We have the same mind.
We want to talk movies.
We want to talk baseball, the hell and everything else.
So thanks so much for having me on the show.
And congrats to all you guys.
I watched the sex therapist asking for a friend.
Just want to double check. Gooch's perineum on the East Coast,ats to all you guys. I watched the sex therapist asking for a friend. Just want to double check.
Gooch's perineum on the East Coast, right?
Yes, sir.
How did I know that you would have to watch that segment?
Yeah, that's honestly, I've been really busy.
We covered a lot of ground at then.
It was a baseball Wimbledon,
but I did squeeze in time for 15 minutes of Amber.
She was terrific.
So, except that's not her name.
So I really appreciate it. But I like the fact you mentioned Dr. Ruth's.
Good throwback to bringing in Dr. Ruth, by the way.
That was great.
It got me thinking about movies with sexy scenes.
There's a lot of scenes.
I don't mean sex scenes,
though you could interpret it that way.
I want to give you a top five list,
and I want you guys to think about it,
and you guys are gonna be engaged here even you guys the top five sexiest scenes in any movie.
Hey, I'm listening.
Are we ready?
Yes, sir.
Ski Adnan.
I bet.
David, you can just tell the entire audience just perked up.
Everyone did that big lean into the chair like, OK, these guys
are messing around today.
I am ready.
Top five sexiest scenes in movies.
You're starting.
Oh, wow.
We're doing different.
Oh, my god.
We're not going to cut you off this time.
I'm running.
I'm your captain now.
I love it.
You're starting.
OK, so this is one that only David's going to appreciate.
And the heck with everybody who's not going to appreciate.
But David Will, 1981, body heat. Heat William Hurt the late William Hurt smashing the glass to attack
Kathleen Turner I mean it's borderline assault but it's an unbelievable scene of just just
carnal instinct and human sexuality taking over it's a great film noir from Lawrence
Kasdan Body Heat Bill Hurt, Catherine Turner. Back me up, David. That's a really, really good movie.
It's old, but it's a movie.
That movie probably ages only okay,
but that scene ages really well.
Well said.
Number four, this one a little bit more current.
I know the rest of the crew has seen this one.
Black Swan, okay?
We want to make sure we include same-sex romance.
So we've got Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis,
little girl on girl action, very, very hot scene.
I don't think you have to put same-sex in a top five list.
It just happens to be a really sexy scene.
That's a tough movie to watch.
That's a movie you'd like to re-watch movies
with great sexy scenes.
That's one I've watched one time, Black Swan.
I went down that as well.
I've seen it once, it's too unnerving. It's too claustrophobic.
Aronofsky, a great director, obviously.
She deserved the Oscar part, but you're right.
It's a tough watch to watch over and over.
But hell of a scene.
Number three, Oldie Bitty Goody from 1990.
That's right, it's Ghost.
Patrick Swayze and Jimmy Moore playing with the pottery.
Who doesn't get all the feels watching that scene?
Very erotic.
Every time I see someone taking a pottery class,
I'm thinking of Ghost.
I think that's the most copied, sexy scene of any movie.
I think there's so many movies where they do a takeoff
of the pottery scene and Patrick Swayze behind Demi Moore
and showing her how to form a pot.
I've been in pottery classes in high school
and I gotta tell you, it wasn't exactly like that.
Where is my Demi Moore?
David Samson was crying out.
Number two, Halle Berry won an Academy Award Monsters Ball.
I want you to feel good.
I want you to feel good.
Her and Billy Bob Thornton going at it.
I'm like, Juju, back me up. Halle Berry Monsters Ball.
Forget about it. She won an Oscar, but that scene is unbelievable.
Yes, sir.
That living room was going down.
Oh, it's been some weird segments, but I'm about in.
That living room, it was, I'm with you, big bruh.
That may be the sexiest scene for an Oscar winner
in the hit.
That would be a different top five.
She did win an Oscar for that role.
And that scene, I thought when I first watched Monsters Ball, that
they were really doing it. Yeah. And they did. We could use a
frame by frame analysis to be a good excuse to do for homework
and such. But it's definitely they're moving positions around.
It's very aggressive and Billy Bob's a method actor, so wouldn't be out of the question.
All right, next.
Number one, I think this is unquestionable number one, David.
I don't know how we're gonna top this.
Sharon Stone uncrossed her legs in Basic Instinct.
I mean, the entire audience was like Wayne Knight,
better known as Newman from Seinfeld.
The way he's, you know, the sweats for me,
staring in there, this obese grotesque man
just staring at Sharon Stone cross your legs.
Unbelievable scene.
We've all seen it.
Is Basic Instinct a movie that you've not seen, Lucy?
Nope.
Have you ever heard of it?
No, I haven't really been listening
this whole segment though.
I'm a little uncomfortable.
It's been a little weird.
This is kind of a weird birthday.
It got weird when, at an end to end,
little girl on girl action.
That was the moment where I checked in.
Yeah, that's what you were hearing the other day. Not the moment where I checked in. I'm glad you weren't here the other day.
That's not the phrase I would have used.
I don't want to make it uncomfortable.
Lonnie used it as an excuse for inclusivity too.
Right.
I don't believe that Basic Instincts is a movie
that people have not heard of, but I guess I'm wrong.
Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone,
and there's an interrogation scene,
and she is wearing a very famous white one-piece dress,
and my favorite part of that movie is that scene
where she says, where she's told there's no smoking in here.
And she says, what are you gonna do?
Charge me with smoking?
I've used that line before very often.
All right, I'm gonna do a top five for you.
And I'm slightly concerned now
that we've lost birthday Lucy.
Oh, you already lost me, don't worry about it.
You guys do your thing, I'll see you in five minutes.
Come back. I want inclusivity.
She wants to talk Paul Skeens.
Always have, Livi Dunn's boyfriend.
That's right.
99 pitches, 7 no hit innings. I hope he starts the All-Star Game. Billy if you want me to talk Skeens I'll talk Skeens all day.
He's going to start the All-Star Game. I expect it to be announced shortly.
I find that to be a mismatch.
The whole Skeens-Livvy match.
Yeah, she's way out of his league.
Top five sexiest Skeens.
It reminds me if she's out of my league.
It's Alice Eve situation.
I've seen that movie.
Do you love that movie?
Yeah, I like the Hall and Oates joke.
It makes me laugh.
I love that you like Hall and Oates.
That is a top five list.
Another one, sad breakups.
The Colin Oates breakup makes me sad.
Yeah. My parents. I put them on that list.
Out of Touch, all-time great song.
I don't put my parents. I wonder whether my kids put me. My guess is they don't, but maybe.
Number five, another movie I love called The Notebook.
Nice.
There is a love scene in the rain
with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams
where she jumps into his arms
and it's I've always wanted to recreate it,
but A, I'm normally the one who jumps
into someone else's arms,
and B, I don't wanna be outside when it rains.
I can't believe Rachel McAdams is like 46.
I saw the other day, I was like,
Rachel McAdams, I think she's 46 or 47 years old.
I couldn't believe it.
That sounds high, Billy.
I'll double check.
She's 45 years old, wow, Billy, you nailed it.
She did a great job on the movie, the TV show, Dave too.
She did an episode with Dave.
That was by her.
She's on a couple with Dave.
She's his dream girl.
And she, the little Dicky, I love little Dicky
and I love Dave and I hope there's a new season.
And I hope Rachel McAdams isn't, but she's the dream girl.
Everybody's dream girl.
Number four, out of sight.
No, George Clooney.
George Clooney, prior to any any any editorials and Jennifer
Lopez prior to doing documentaries and getting 29
divorces it's an outstanding movie and the scene when they
are in the trunk together. Yeah, maybe one is the number
4 sexy scene of any movie ever if you haven't watched it so
to Berg please watch out of sight.
Definitely both of them have their most charismatic.
David, you're right, it's a great film.
Ben Mankiewicz, my old buddy,
who is one of the hosts of TCM Turner Classic movies.
This guy's seen more movies than anybody.
He lists Out of Sight, which is one of his top 10 movies
of all time, and that scene in particular is a great one.
Awesome movie.
Number three, it's part of a trilogy.
It's a movie called Before Sunrise.
Mm-hmm.
Before Sunrise is with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy
and there's a scene in that movie
when they are laying down together
as their night ends that they've spent together.
There's no sex involved.
It is a very sexy scene and it is one of the catalysts
that gave me the reputation that I have as a hand holder.
I'm a hand holder. I'm I like everyone knows that I like
those moments, I'm a hugger I like the connectivity and the
connection between Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in that scene
in that movie that to me was outstanding.
David's love language physical touch now that we all know
that I really it's a great trilogy.
Obviously, Linklid are a wonderful director,
Hitman currently available on Netflix.
Love, Ethan Hawke.
Great movie.
Of the three, I like the second one the best,
Before Sunset.
But Before Sunrise is great, too.
David's other love languages, thong flip-flops.
Back to you, then.
I do.
I have a very good thong tan.
Number two.
Brokeback Mountain. Nice. The scene where they first kiss in
the tent. I am not, I'm not gay. I'm straight and I got to tell you I'm
looking at that and I'm thinking I've never felt that. Little boy on boy action.
And I've wanted first, I love first kisses who doesn't you want as many as you can
that first kiss
never say anything like it's beautiful.
It's definitely a great film it should have won best picture
over crash that year which I was really surprised by that
pick and that's another tough movie to watch that so
heartbreaking so sad but that moment obviously very
passionate to great actors the late Heath Ledger and of course
Jason Hall thank you still with us.
Yes he is, he's in a new episode
of Presumed Innocent dropped.
I don't like watching shows that drop once a week.
That's my new decision. Apple Plus.
Presumed Innocent, excellent right now.
It's outstanding. And it's back.
I wanna watch it all at once.
I also salute to Max, we love you.
Which Max?
The one we're on right now, salute to you.
Oh, yeah, the channel.
I thought there was a person, another person in Medi-Lar.
Same idea with Max.
Max is a good dog name.
Classic dog name.
I have an uncle Max.
Really?
His name is Richard, but he's called Max.
It's better than Dick.
I don't know.
Uncle Dick.
Exactly.
Well, I don't know how Richard became Dick,
but we can talk about that later.
I can't believe this is the first time,
Adnan, that we've done this.
The first time that we have a top five list
and we have the same number one.
Oh my God, yes.
Sharon Stone.
That has to mean it's the number one
sexiest scene of all time, the Sharon Stone interrogation.
We're Based Against Sex.
Brothers, salute, that's a very sexy scene.
But I wanna, just for the younger guys,
around the world, put hair on my chest, wild things.
That was a lot going on when I was a boy.
Not stillin', not stillin' next year.
Wild things, you feel me?
Unfaithful with Diane Lang too when she became unfaithful.
Whoa!
I'm not saying great, but alert.
Also Betty White in Bring It Down the House in that nightgown. Oh, no, a great one. Spoiler alert. Also Betty White in bringing down the house in that nightgown.
Oh, no, jeez, Betty White.
Not a great one, but it was so good till just now.
Oh, no, you know, choose.
You might as well mention the American pie.
Jason Biggs with a pie.
That's disgusting.
Not the pie.
A little earlier.
Not the pie.
I can't say I learned anything during that scene in American Pie,
but I did see that it just celebrated
its 25th or 45th or some long anniversary,
which made me worried.
45th anniversary.
How many?
25th, 1999 it came out.
Also when I was a kid, Fast Times at Ridgemont High?
Yes.
Come on guys.
Baby Cates.
When I was a kid though.
I went and bought the Cars album after Fast Times at Ridgemont High
because moving in stereo is playing during that album,
during that scene when Phoebe Cates,
who's married to Kevin Kline now,
I hope you've heard of any of these people.
The scene where she opens the bikini is simply
when you know.
It's just, people say when you know, you know
about love, about various things.
That's Jennifer Jason Lee,
yes, Judge Reinhold.
You dig me?
Judge Reinhold, good reference.
Currently on Beverly Hills, got back to F,
speaking of nostalgia.
David, a little surprise, neither of us
got nine and a half weeks in there.
Mickey Rourke.
So I like the ice scene.
I really do like the ice scene, actually.
It just didn't make my top five.
What a thing when you're writing a movie.
I'm Wolf of Wall Street, guys. It just didn't make my top five. What a thing when you're writing a movie. Wolf of Wall Street guys.
Marco Robby.
Marco Robby.
Leonardo DiCaprio crawling.
I was like 18 when that came out.
That's prime then.
Yeah, it was influential.
Did you want to be Jordan Belfort or Leonardo DiCaprio?
Cause that says a lot about a person.
Yeah, didn't ever want to be Jordan Belfort
based off the way I feel about economics.
But outside of that, Leo DiCaprio, yeah, sure.
In that moment, certainly.
I don't know if he has a great life, Leonardo DiCaprio.
I feel bad for him all the time.
Isn't that strange? I do too.
I don't.
You don't ever?
No.
He's fine.
No, great life.
Billy, he's dating women half his age,
you always get to work with Scorsese,
the best director in the world.
Leo's got the life.
Come on, how could you feel sorry for him?
I feel like people are not necessarily as happy
as you think they are because you see them on screen
and with beautiful women.
There we are, South Beach Sessions this week
with the one and only coach of the Miami Dolphins,
Mike Daniels.
That's coming up today.
Yes, sir.
Thank you for that.
Dan likes that.
I wonder whether Mike is going to do anything of note.
Do you think Dan will put him on the couch?
I think so.
He's such a great personality.
I can't wait to tune in.
I actually want to watch that one
because Dan may get Mike to do things
that Mike doesn't want to do.
Right.
It's not a mean in that way.
I'm saying in terms of the way Dan gets people to say things.
Off the heels of that list, and you say that,
I don't know what's going on anymore.
There's a lot going on.
There's sexiness on your mind.
I don't know what's going on here.
Adnan, Verk, Cinephile, it's a podcast.
We do top fives from time to time.
I appreciate your time.
Thank you, Adnan.
David, this was great fun, man.
Thank you for having me.
And one more thought for you.
Rachel McAdams, About Time. I know it's one of your favorites. Oh, that movie great fun, man. Thank you for having me. And one more thought for you. Rachel McAdams, About Time.
I know it's one of your favorites.
Oh, that movie makes me cry so hard.
Every time.
Thanks, boys.
The Dan LeBoutard Show with Stu Gotz is sponsored by BetterHelp.
The impact of social media on mental health is a topic of growing concern.
What do you do when you get caught up wishing your life looked like someone else's?
Comparison is the thief of joy and it's easy to envy other people's lives.
It might look like they have it all together on their social media, but in reality they
probably don't.
Therapy can help you focus on what you want instead of what others have, so you can start
living your best life.
It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries.
It empowers you to be the best version of yourself.
It isn't just for those who have experienced major trauma.
If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely
online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.
Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist
and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Stop comparing and
start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash DLB today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help
help.com slash DLB
When you're hiring for your small business you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role
That's why you have to check out linkedin jobs
LinkedIn jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free as
LinkedIn jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team, faster and for free.
As MetalArk Media continues to grow as a content studio, we strive to hire only the best and
most qualified candidates.
Thankfully with LinkedIn, they've made it easy for us to find them.
LinkedIn isn't just a job board.
LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else.
Even those who aren't actively searching for new jobs might be open to the perfect
role.
In a given month, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other job-leading sites.
So if you're not looking on LinkedIn, you're looking in the wrong place.
On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours.
Hire professionals like a professional.
On LinkedIn, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash prep. That's LinkedIn.com slash P-R-E-P to post your job for free.
Terms and conditions apply.
Don Lebatard.
During one long evening at the Burton's,
Robert sent their guest, Tennessee Williams,
and director Joseph Lozey running for the door.
But in Burton's words, she insulted Rex,
she's talking about Rex Harrison,
Rex sexually, sexually morally physically
Lay on the floor in the bar and bark like a dog started to masturbate her basset hound Jesus Christ
This is the book and I'm like, how do I you know cuz to cause to Mike's point, he's asked to know I read the book.
Well, okay, listen, I highlighted this part.
So you know, I read it.
Spoo gots.
Have you ever met Mike before today?
No, no first meeting.
So your thing is in the first five minutes, let's talk about dog masturbation and trap.
Because I knew he would be able to relate to the subject matter.
He would know what it's like because he's a guest on a show and the guy's trying to
impress him because okay, what's going to go with. So I figured masturbating a basset hound was definitely something he could at least appreciate weird assumption to make
Was he right or wrong?
I'm gonna say he was wrong. Oh
This is the Dan LeVatar show with the Stookats Let's do this! Et cetera. Something happened and came to my attention yesterday. It was a weird night for me.
It was one of my sleepless nights.
I was in the Elstor, I got zero sleep.
Zero minutes of sleep last night,
which happens way more often than I'd like to acknowledge.
This week had been decent.
I got two to three each night.
Last night was a zero.
Well, what do you do?
Like, do you have coffee?
Do you have, like, sugar?
Never had a cup in my life.
What? Really?
I've never had a cup of coffee in my life.
No caffeine.
How are you functioning?
How are you alive?
I, how?
Yeah, like, how are you here today with us,
with no sleep ever?
And two hours is a good night?
Cause that's what it is.
I get, I watch a lot of movies and I do a lot of reading.
And I think about nothing personal
or I think about this show.
I'm always thinking about things that can be done.
I love going out onto the balcony here
and seeing the quiet of the night.
I happen to love the quiet of the night.
It's amazing that reading doesn't put you to sleep though,
considering the lack of sleep that you're getting.
Cause for me, if I'm, gosh, sometimes even when I don't realize I'm tired,
if I start reading a book, I'll start nodding off.
Just because it's such a.
It's not a book that I read though.
It's the phone.
See, that's the problem.
You gotta get a book.
A physical book with, you know, yellowish pages,
like old pages that you could just look at the text.
It might help you unwind your mind a little bit
and go to bed.
Because if you're on your phone,
you have no interest in getting sleep.
I view sleep, I hate sleep.
I hate my bed, I hate all beds.
The Elstor bed is uncomfortable, but so is my own bed.
But it's a great hotel.
Yeah, I love it here.
I absolutely love it here,
but I don't enjoy anybody's bed.
I've told you guys that I view my bed
as like the devil opening its arms when I get into bed,
where some people view it as an angel,
that they're going into a heavenly puffy place.
I view it with smoke and fire and embers.
So you don't-
Speaking of smoke, have you considered
the now legal in New York, Samira Joanna,
to help you-
Could help.
Go to sleep.
Dun sleep gummies?
No, not gummies.
I'm talking about ganja.
Oh, the actual flower?
Yeah, Snoop Dogg style.
No, and I wouldn't do that,
but wouldn't that set off a smoke alarm?
No, but I'll have.
You can't smoke in your house anyway, follow the rules.
There's definitely no smoking in the house.
So last night, what was particularly upsetting,
and I'm not Dan, that's for sure,
he's way more worried about stuff than I am,
and maybe rightly so.
But I'm very bothered about violence at sporting events.
I was not, it struck me hard what happened,
and I got some negative attention,
and I wanna see where you guys,
where my blind spot is here,
because my view is players cannot go into the stands.
I don't care why.
And the criticism that I've received is they're protecting their family.
You can do anything you want to protect your family.
Where, where, where did I go wrong on that?
I mean, if I see my, if I'm a player and I see somebody up there, even thinking
about looking like they feel to touch my mom
Or dad or my little brother, but it's a problem. So I I don't have the same opinion as you bro
I'm jumping in the crowd. I don't give a damn if it's okay who it is
You don't touch my mama is smoke regardless and I'm coming up there. I
Don't think you should be allowed. There's security to do it
There are people who are supposed to be there
to protect the families.
But sometimes they're not doing their job.
You're looking at your mom and dad.
Yeah, that happens.
I'm sure.
That happens all the time in all sorts of different places.
Like if my family's in trouble,
I'm at least trying to step in where I can.
And now I'm also a bit of a coward.
And so I say that, right, theoretically.
I don't know if I would actually do it
if I was in harm's way or what the situation is.
It might depend, but I think in the scenario
that we're throwing out there, like if I'm an athlete
and I can go protect my family in a situation,
that's the first thing I'm doing,
especially when we see all the examples of security guards
like shying away from that confrontation.
What if you were at a heat game in the spot,
you sit where you got caught with the finger in the mouth,
and you just looked over,
and someone was tugging on your wife.
Yeah, I'm running up there.
Exactly, that's where you're not conscuring.
I'm angry immediately.
No, I'm not, because then how long is that gonna take?
You're right.
It's supposed to happen fast is the point.
I might not try to have a physical confrontation.
I would hope to avoid that, but I'm,
it's a good example.
I immediately, my blood's boiling,
even just thinking about it.
We still have your top five things of people
you'd confront if you were larger.
We have to get to later in the show.
I do have a top five of people I'd confront
and the things they'd do if I were larger.
And it would not be someone who's going after my family
as an athlete because I wanna believe
that I can run a facility where I'm gonna protect it.
So last night I was thinking about this
and thinking about am I wrong here?
And then I get to the next video,
every day there's something where in Brazil,
forget fighting, this was an actual shooting,
which it happens more often than I'd like to acknowledge,
the police shot one of the players.
This is, look, if you're not on YouTube,
this is an actual shot being fired.
It was a rubber bullet, doesn't matter to me.
It pierced the skin and there was blood.
The goalie went down, stumbled down after this,
and it got me thinking,
and this was part of the problem last night,
this is around a three to four a.m. situation
when this is in my head.
What would I be doing?
I do that a lot.
What would I be doing?
This is my stadium, this is my team, this is my player.
And the police here in the U.S.,
we pay the police to be at the games.
That's part of the expense of the team,
is you pay police to be inside the ballpark
and you pay the police who are outside the ballpark as well.
You certainly pay CSC, the ushers, the security people.
And the fact that there is a shooting going on
is a way to keep the peace
because everyone is going so crazy about the game,
whatever the case may be,
it gave me pause to think that maybe our problems
are way deeper than climate change.
You can say that again, bro.
For real.
And that began to make me wonder whether Dan had it wrong.
That it's not necessarily the hurricanes
and the temperature of the ocean.
It's the fact that violence, for whatever reason,
has become somebody's love language.
Right.
My love language is touching.
That's my love language.
I'm talking flip-flops.
Who's flip-flops?
Who's love language is violence?
Why is that a love language?
I got some homeboys just like it, bro.
I got some homeboys and they're not here anymore.
Some of them, some of them are still here.
They just, they come up on their own
and so they defend, they got so much pride
and they can't even let nobody step on their shoe
without showing you who they could be.
And it's just, it's a killer, you're right.
I think we need a little more finesse.
And sleep.
So, sleep doesn't, but no.
I'm not violent because I don't sleep.
If you were asleep you would have been, yeah.
You think that tiredness and violence are correlated?
No, I think if you were asleep
you wouldn't have had any of these thoughts.
If I get angry I'm ready to shoot somebody.
I don't think so.
What?
I mean, obviously it's a joke, but like,
if you can get impatient, like I get incredibly impatient
if I'm just like too hungry.
So if I'm lacking, if I were sleeping the amount
that you were, I would be a totally different person.
I would be infuriated all the time.
Have you not found the right bed or pillow?
I've tried, I am the guy, Jeff Bezos, shout out to you man.
Thank you, thank you for enabling a new pillow
or a new, I once bought, if you've seen this,
it's this weighted, heavy blanket
that's supposed to help you sleep.
Have you ever seen one of those?
Those are the best.
Didn't help me.
Really?
Gave it away.
Have you gone to a doctor?
No. Okay, well, let me start with that.
Seems like a start.
What am I gonna do, a Pablo CPAP machine?
I don't know what happened to ya.
Well, you've never been to a doctor, you don't know.
Well, I go to doctors all the time.
But for this reason.
Wait, you didn't mean a doctor.
Like, no, I mean going to like someone
who specializes in like sleep.
What are they gonna do?
They're gonna run tests,
because you probably have no idea what's wrong.
And they're gonna run tests,
and maybe they'll find something that can work for you.
I think it's therapy.
And then you'll sleep, and then you'll be like,
oh my God, I'm the happiest person in the world.
I wanna spend money and help people.
Maybe you'll start farting.
And do wonderful things, and you'll fart,
and you'll eat stuff that's other than candy.
Your life could completely change.
If you just went to a doctor, said,
hey, I cannot sleep, it would be cool if you could help me
and they probably will and you're rich
so you can go to the good doctor.
Good question, I have the same insurance you do.
I don't wanna concern you and I don't wanna be too
like morbid here. I am slightly concerned
at the moment. Aren't you worried you're gonna die?
I think about that every day but but that is nothing in typical,
we're all gonna die.
Act accordingly.
No, but this isn't healthy for your body.
The body.
Shakur Stevenson fights too,
turn that on and try to lay down.
What are you doing there?
I would simply ask you this,
do you find me, and I'm specifically speaking to you,
Lucy, who's concerned about me,
and I want to tell you I appreciate your concern,
do you find me to be a down person,
sort of tired and dragging and depressed
and woe is me guy?
No, more manic.
And that's also not a good thing.
But it doesn't manic mean up and down?
Manic is like mania.
And so bipolar is up and down.
Manic is like a really up high state.
And so you don't wanna be just just up all the time and sleep can
really help regulate that. Some people I'm sure out there can like live life
on two hours of sleep. That's a super rare thing so maybe you go see a
specialist so you can confirm hey you are just like an insane human specimen
that doesn't need sleep or you go to the doctor and they say we can help you we're
gonna help you get sleep and and then your life changes,
and then maybe you don't feel so anxious all the time.
Yep.
I appreciate, I'm loving the love on your birthday,
you're sending me the love.
I don't find that my life is deleteriously impacted
in any way by my habits.
Well, you just talked about how you think
about dying all the time,
and I think that's probably related.
Oh, I think that's just being Jewish.
No, that's fair. I don't think that is actually related. Oh, I think that's just being Jewish. Yeah, that's fair.
I don't think that is actually true.
We automatically have a little extra anxiety.
Right, so I don't think there's a doctor for that
and if there is, I've been to her and him and them.
Try being black.
But I think you are in the stage of where a superhero,
right before he realizes he got powers.
Like you might need to go to the doctor
because not sleeping, I don't know, bro.
Maybe you got a super thing going on right now.
Yeah, we could get a little serum from you
so that we could all potentially have an extra power.
I don't wanna be in the position though
where I would look at the video of the violence
in the stands or someone being shot
or the issues that I think about
where sleep would make it so I don't have the capacity
or the time to think about them.
I don't think it'll take away the capacity
to think about those things.
I think it'll just help ease your mind a little bit
because we should think about the things
that are bad in the world,
but we don't need to think about them all the time
and they don't need to consume us all.
I'm not consumed by it.
Well, you're staying up late at night
and you're thinking about really sad things.
But let me ask you, what's the difference
between thinking about it at 3 p.m. or 3 a.m.?
Is it not the same level of being consumed by it
if it's one hour?
Are you always thinking about it at 3 p.m.?
No, no, I'm saying, if it's just an hour a day,
what's the difference what hour it is?
If you're sleeping, you're not thinking about it.
Well you schedule your sad hours for the middle of the night
No, I don't it just so happens last night was that if I hadn't seen that video
I will admit that there is something that's happened that has definitely hurt me and that is social media put the phone down David
This I don't put the I I'm always looking for content
You want me to set a screen a screen time parental control on your phone for you? Like I'll be the only one that knows the password?
I don't even look at that.
I don't wanna look.
I don't wanna know what my screen time is.
No, no, no, I'm gonna set,
I will give me your phone and I'll set
like a maximum amount of time you can spend.
Wait, will it turn the phone off?
Yeah, yeah.
No. Oh yeah.
And then the next day you can get it again
when you're a good boy.
Yeah, that's how it works.
I am a good boy. You earn your screen time.
I'm not out doing bad things in the middle of the night.
Just for yourself.
Maybe to myself.
Yeah, exactly.
That's it.
Do you have like a mindfulness activity?
Like something that you do that's not screen related,
not sad related, something that your brain
just kind of shuts off.
Like when I paint, I don't have one thought in this brain
for hours, and it's awesome.
And then I'm done painting and I'm like, oh my God,
it's been seven hours and I haven't thought one time
and it kicks ass.
I used to work at a bakery and I used to ice the cookies.
I only worked for a week, I got fired.
I'm showing up late.
No, no, but I would ice.
I showed up late.
Okay, so here's the thing. I showed up late. How many times? Okay, I only worked there a week, I got fired. I'm showing up late. No, no, no, but I would, I showed up late.
Okay, so here's the thing.
I showed up late.
How many times?
Okay, I only worked there a week, so a couple times.
But here's the thing.
They said, you need to be there at 7 a.m.
That is the time that you'll, I know, that's way too early.
I said, I can do 7 a.m.
So I show up at 7 a.m.
And they say, when we say 7 a.m.,
we mean you need to be here at 6.50.
I said, then just say 6.50.
Which they did and you still relate the second time.
Because I can't vibe with that.
I think that's really-
Why would you work for a bakery?
You know you make the donuts in the middle of the night
and bakeries all start early in the morning.
If you're not a morning person,
that may be again a great top five.
What job shouldn't you take if you're not a morning person?
How about a live show at 9 a.m.?
Trust me, I have asked Dan so many times,
hey, can we push this back a couple hours?
And he says, I don't have any power here.
I said, your name is everywhere.
I think you have a little bit of power here.
When I was younger, I took a job at Old Navy,
like a holiday person, and my first day,
I folded a whole thing of shirts,
and then I was like, damn, bro, I'm a great folder.
And then this little kid came over and just picked up
four shirts and just threw them back on the pot.
I quit right then and there.
I just told him, I can't do this.
Walk straight out.
Yep, no check or nothing.
Don't even pay me, I'm good.
What do you think about when you run?
I think about my plan for the day.
What I'm doing.
I made a lot of Marlin's decisions while running.
A lot.
There's a level of clarity that can come with running.
I understand that.
But if that is not your moment to be mindful
of just being able to sort of clear your mind,
it would be great, as Lucy suggested,
having some sort of something,
whether it's meditation, whether it's reading a book,
and I know meditation could be frustrating.
I'm someone, my mind raises.
I tried yoga, it didn't work, I can't touch my toes.
But that's different, that's different than meditation. You're not going to the first day.
You work up to that. Right. You see, lasted a week. What? That was a bakery, not yoga.
And that was just working at a bakery and I didn't like the job and it wasn't the right fit for me.
Okay? And it was during COVID. I couldn't find another job. I was just doing the best I can,
given the situation I was in. But I found another mindful activity that wasn't icing cookies, it was painting
and doing my little crafts, and they're awesome,
and they keep me sane and grounded.
So I think maybe you should try to find out
a little activity.
Are they for sale?
My crafts?
Yes.
Some of them.
Do you have a website that I could talk about
and bring people to?
No.
Are you interested in becoming some sort of artiste?
No.
Speaking of artiste, speaking of artist artist, Angel Reese is an artist.
She continued the streak, she stretched the streak again
last night against the New York Liberty,
who got in their behind, you feel me?
They defended their home court.
Last time they played, it was a bit of a spanking
on the Chicago side, so they came out and played very well.
But Angel Reese, she extended her double-double streak
to 15 games now, in which she has already set the record.
So she's just building on top of it on top at this point.
You saw that game, let's see.
It seems to me that she will never
not get a double-double again.
She's at 15, I think.
Last night was close, though.
I think it's gonna go to 40.
Last night was a bit of a struggle to get it.
Like she got it in the fourth quarter in crunch time,
type of, you know what I mean?
She didn't go off the backboard, did she?
Nah, nah. How would you feel if her double double streak
gets extended?
I'm asking the group here because I have a thought on this
when if you miss a shot off the backboard on purpose
to get your rebound, to get the 10th rebound
to keep the double double streak alive.
Where's your head on that?
Heady move, heady play.
Wasn't it like two games ago also that she had,
it was like free throws with like six seconds left
in the game or something?
Right, and her mama was stressed out.
I was stressed right with her, dawg.
Was it like the Jose Reyes laying down a bunt
to win the batting title?
I have no problem with that.
Right.
I have no problem with that at all.
I feel similarly.
No problem with people going for the triple double
who set it up.
If you wanna throw it off the backboard, I'm in.
I feel the same way.
I have a question for you.
You were in the Marlins organization at this time.
How did you feel when Luis Castillo's hit streak
ended with him on deck?
Despondent.
The story is Tim Reigns had a sacrifice fly
to end the game.
That's controllable.
You can control that.
You fired the third base coach.
No, we didn't fire anyone because that,
back in that day, we were in touch with the dugout.
And we told, it was Torborg was the manager.
And we said, win the game.
And so they got word to Reigns
because Reigns wanted to know what the play was.
Do we get Luis Castillo another bat?
He had, I want to, a 35 game hit streak,
I don't remember the exact number.
Yes, I think the best of this century, isn't it?
No, I think Chase Utley beat it a couple years later.
I think there's been a 44.
And then there was like a weird Jimmy Rollins
one season to the next, it doesn't count.
That doesn't count.
We had giveaways, we had all stuff.
We thought Castillo was the type of player
who could maybe approach 56.
And we were a team in 02, it was my first year in Miami.
We were not going anywhere, speaking of Paul Skeens.
And Louis Castillo, he was becoming,
he was the one giving us attention.
And he was on deck, he was hitless,
and we had the winning run on third with one out.
Tim Reigns at the plate, and as he's walking,
we got word to the dugout who got word to Reigns,
and you know, very complicated signs back then
like hitting the garbage can.
It was this, it was this.
Swing away.
If you're not watching it, swing away.
Meaning win the game.
Jimmy Rollins has the longest hit streak
this century at 38 games.
That's the one that lasted over two seasons.
It looks like Luis Castillo and Chase Utley
tied at 35 games.
Didn't Ugla have a long hit streak in Atlanta?
Oh, look at that up.
I believe Ugly.
Yeah, he did, 33 games in 2011 in Atlanta.
Which is unreal that Ugly did that.
That doesn't make any sense
considering the type of player he was.
But Billy, did I, another thing that I did wrong
to ruin your fandom?
Having us win the game that no one cares
and remembers. No, I didn't blame you for that.
No, Tim Reigns, I mean, she's...
Tim Reigns was fun to have.
Tim Rains is obviously a great man and a great player.
But what if Castillo could have caught DiMaggio?
That's what I kept thinking.
Because if you can catch DiMaggio, you're it.
Luis Castillo would be in the Hall of Fame.
He'd be. Really?
If you can get a 57 game rating.
Oh, really?
You don't say that, okay.
Tony has a good hypothetical for you.
So Dave, if you play five seasons in a row, okay,
and get a hit in every single game,
only a single, in every single game,
you don't have any home runs.
810 game hit streak?
Yeah.
Are you a Hall of Famer?
You are in the Hall of Fame,
but you're not a Hall of Famer.
That's right.
You're not in the plaque room,
but you get yourself an exhibit
if you have an 810 game hit streak.
If Luis Castillo, now I love where your head's at,
Luis Castillo is a better player than a one hit every game.
He had a very, people may not remember this,
I don't know why, gold glove infielder,
fantastic a World Series champion.
He had longevity as a bunch of Marlins records
or at least did when I left in 17.
I believe that with a 57 game history,
he would have been a stronger consideration for Cooper.
What about an 810 game history?
I mean, that's damn good.
But you're hitting 250.
You're hitting 250.
One for four.
Which right now is outstanding.
Yeah, but your OPS is nothing
because you've never hit a home run,
you've never had an extra base hit.
Oh, it's a single.
It's a single.
It's a single.
810 straight singles.
Yes.
I bet each row could have done that
if we asked each row to do that
and said, would you mind just getting one single?
Why didn't you?
Each game because-
It sounds productive.
I mean, you have the option to have an 810 game history
by which you take it.
You would have been a mediocre player.
Why didn't you ask Ichiro to get his 3000 hit at home
if we were in so much control over Ichiro?
We had that conversation also.
I know.
I'll never forgive you.
So-
Or Don Mattingly.
The conversation was, do you not play him?
Do you wait?
Because we were heading home,
it was a Sunday in Colorado in August.
I believe it was August 16th.
And I believe we were coming home for the next series.
I may be wrong.
No, you're right.
I'll look it up right now.
You got an unnecessary start that day.
So, we had the amount of respect we had for each row.
I don't know that I've respected a player
more than I respected Ichiro for any of the players
who I had in my career, and he wanted to get it done.
And he had an eye, here's a little nugget about Ichiro.
He had an eye toward a triple for his 3,000th hit.
And he got it.
Barely.
It's right over the glove of the-
He almost screwed it up by hitting a home run.
Well, it was also almost caught, which is-
It was off the wall, I believe.
No, I was hoping that it would get caught.
It was like right over the outfield,
there's gloves, I was like,
God, catch it, please catch it.
Oh, I thought it hit the wall.
It did, but he was jumping up to catch it.
Oh, got it, got it, got it.
I was like, please catch that ball, and he didn't.
He had a six game home stand right after that
against San Francisco and the Chicago Whitesides.
And I think if you look, that was his only hit of that game.
Yeah, well he had gone a bunch of games.
Oh, I know.
I went to a bunch of games watching,
waiting for it to happen.
He'd come in and he'd pinch hit,
and then he'd ground out.
He went one for four that night.
Yep.
And so remember, he started in his 3,000th game,
and he was generally a bat off the bench for us.
And that was another discussion we had
is whether or not you change what a player is
according to a record that they're going for.
Like all of a sudden would Reese play more minutes.
If there's a blowout in a game
where she would then get rest
and she doesn't have the double double,
am I putting her back out there just to get the double double?
And my answer to that would be no.
Right.
Speaking of records though, Katelyn Clark, triple double,
and the other day against the Mystics,
holy moly, she stuffed a stat sheet.
Lucy, did you check that out?
Of course I did.
Let me read you the stats from this
because Katelyn had like her first real Iowa game in the
WNBA so here are their stats from it was a loss to the Mystics. Caitlin had 29
points 15 points in the fourth quarter 13 assists 5 rebounds 5 steals 5 threes
3 blocks she was shooting 50% from the field 56 56% from three, and then 90% from her free throw line.
You want that every day, don't you?
Oh yeah, I mean it's awesome.
Yeah, and like you see her get so much better,
but that was her first real game where like she put up
numbers like that at Iowa all the time.
It's crazy.
I believe it broke records in the sense that I don't think
any player has ever had like that stat lines
in WNBA history,
or I believe the history of the NBA either.
Right, they went, they was down big in that game.
It made a great comeback behind Katelyn in that fourth quarter.
And then Christie was like,
well, since you led us back here and you did all this work,
I'm not gonna trust you at the end of the game.
Just remember that Jordan had a lot of problems
when he was first in the league.
The Bulls were not successful.
They were a bad team.
Doug Collins was the coach, the Brad Sellers years,
and he won a lot of championships.
Caitlin Clark, at the end of the day,
I don't know what the over-under is,
if there's even a market for that,
we can check DraftKings.
I'm gonna put the over-under for titles
for Caitlin Clark in her career at five.
Yeah, she'll win a lot.
My thing is a lot of people are like,
well, you know, she's gonna struggle to start off with,
and she did, but she's playing really well.
And she has for the last two months.
The first few weeks of the season were kind of rough.
She's played amazing.
She hasn't rested.
Yeah, she had.
Talk about rest.
She went straight through.
She finally started to get breaks
after the 20 days, 11 game streak,
which was absolutely insane for the Fever
to start off the season that way,
but she's played a lot better,
and like, yeah, she's turning the ball over a lot,
and she needs to work on that,
but also she's being used like in the Fever offense
more than any player is being used across the WGA.
I was talking about college though.
Oh, college, yeah, she was amazing.
No, but no, no, no.
She never did anything wrong in college.
No, what I'm saying is she went from college,
and then I believe right to training camp.
No, she did, yeah.
There was no break.
Especially because Iowa made it all the way
to the national championship game.
Iowa unfortunately lost the national championship game.
It's my birthday though, so we're not gonna talk about that.
And then one week later she was drafted.
There was no in-between time.
And then they had their first,
I think it was just a exhibition game
I think 10 days after that.
There has not been a moment for Kaitlyn to breathe
and that's why it's probably a really good thing for her
that she didn't make the Olympic team.
And you've seen with rest just after that huge stretch
the fever had to start the season,
how much better Kaitlyn has been,
how much better Aaliyah has been.
Yeah, lots of people need sleep.
Yeah.
I was thinking about the you
know the MLB draft is coming up this week and no one cares we're not talking
about it it's making me angry I have a question for you though Dave yes sir what
baseball record speaking of records what baseball record is gonna be the most
difficult one to have beaten hits home runs or hits in a season like like hitting you're only giving me those two choices those three so home runs, or hits in a season?
Like hitting streak.
You're only giving me those two choices?
Those three.
So home runs, hits all time.
You mean career home runs or Mark McGuire
or Barry Bonds in a season?
Career home runs, career hits, or hitting streak.
Can I say that it's Henry Aaron who has the number,
or is it Bonds?
What number are you asking?
755?
Whatever number you go by.
Can I tell you, I didn't like last year
when they were doing that with Aaron Judge
saying like, well, the real Home Run record.
And I know that Stanton hinted at that
when he was getting close and he couldn't get to it.
And it's like, guys.
Stop erasing my childhood.
No, it's not that.
It's just an opportunistic,
I wanna be the Home Run champion
and I'm not gonna get to that.
It's a thing in the union.
It's a thing in the commissioner's office.
It's a thing.
So, I thought you were asking me the two records
that will never be broken,
and that is the career wins
and the Cal Ripken Ironman streak.
And back to back no hitters.
So you think somebody will beat Pete Rose
for the Hit King?
So. All time?
It is possible that there will be another player.
We just were looking at each row.
He had 10 or nine, I think he has nine 200 hit seasons.
And 200 hit seasons used to be what the goal was
and barely anyone gets there anymore
because everyone would rather strike out or hit a home run.
So I would say that the career hits is the one
that is very unlikely to ever be broken
versus although each row's got the single season record
at 262 maybe.
But given the present state of baseball gameplay
and the style, 56 games in a row with a hit
feels impossible.
Because guys have never even come within 10 of that
at any point in Major League Baseball history.
And right now there's so much strikeout home run walk
that even the best of players, even like,
if you look at a guy who is at the top
of the league in batting average every single year
in Luis Arayas, there are plenty of Ofer Knights in there
because he'll work a walk and there's a different type
of approach so to me, I mean like I even feel like
it might be more possible to break the Iron Man streak
than it would be.
No one plays that much anymore.
No one does but if someone did,
like, Mikael Bridges, right, plays every game in the NBA.
Well, that doesn't happen in the NBA anymore.
How many years has he done it?
He's done it, I think, for six years in a row now,
where he's played every single game.
He played all the way back through college
and through high school, and so playing that many games
in a row is very rare in basketball.
You could have an outlier of a player who's just capable of playing every day
Sometimes it says the DH, but I don't see a world where at least in the modern version of baseball anyone even comes close
To a 56 game hit streak that feels impossible
P rules played like 30 years in the MLB. Yeah that part. That's the earth
He started playing in 1963 and ended in 1986.
So you tally all those hits.
And the way that baseball's being played now,
where it's all launch angles and trying to hit home runs
and all that stuff, nobody's hitting for average.
Nobody's hitting to get hits.
4,256.
Is anybody close?
Each row.
Active though, active.
No, active, I assume.
The next 3000 hit guy, I love these stats
where they talk about which players can now win 300 games.
It used to be that's how you got to Cooperstown.
And what I hate is that, and hate's a strong word,
we've changed the rules.
We've made it okay, we've accepted mediocrity.
We've accepted the change that allows players
to be worse than they were because the analytics values things
differently.
More skilled, worse players.
That's the part that's frustrating.
They're all more skilled than they've ever been.
No, because even these guys with that level of velocity,
their ability to locate pitches,
their ability to move the ball, it's amazing.
These hitters being able to hit off of every single guy
throwing 100 miles an hour.
It used to be that there was only Matt Lindstrom
coming in late in the game throwing 100 miles an hour.
Now Paul Skeens is doing it for 40 pitches a game.
And yet, you're now dealing with a situation
where these guys are so skilled,
but they're so specialized that it makes it
that their well-rounded game isn't quite there
and they're not quite the same players
that we got to celebrate in years past.
Joe Biden last night talked about
how he's gotta get the middle class back.
And in baseball, there is no middle class.
You've got the lower class and the upper class.
And the way the upper class works in baseball
is they buy $300,000 machines.
They lease them per year.
Have you heard of these pitching machines
that have a picture of the actual pitcher
and they are throwing the exact pitches
that the actual pitcher will actually throw to you?
I did not know that.
It is the crazy, it used to be a batting practice machine,
a BP machine was a thump, thump, you drop a ball in
and it goes through two spinning wheels
and it goes and that's it.
Then-
It's as flat just-
Then if you move it, you can get a slider
when you spin it a little bit, screw that.
Now for 300 grand a year, you can rent a machine
that has a video LCD board of the pitcher
and his exact arsenal and it's his face pitching at you
and then the hitters are in BP doing it.
And then by the way, they're still hitting 220.
And I'm getting criticized as a low revenue team
for not spending that money on this stuff,
which isn't helping the Dodgers.
The Dodgers have them everywhere.
That you can't basically do a 360
without seeing one of these machines.
And how come no one can hit?
It's because the velocity is at a level that is
You can set the velocity. so crazy.
No, but it's not about that.
When you actually are facing a pitcher
where there's an ability that the ball might not go
exactly where you expect it,
because when you're facing one of those machines,
you know where the ball's going,
even if it's gonna be a slider,
even if it's gonna be something else,
you know what's going over the plate.
When you're dealing with John Carlos Stanton,
who's a guy who's taken a 100 mile an hour
fastball to the face,
there's an ability that that ball could go anywhere.
Hitting a baseball is the most difficult thing
to do in sports, and it's only gotten more and more difficult
because we're hunting velocity.
And all these things that baseball has done
to capitalize in the margins and be able to, you know,
put these teams together where you're platooning guys
and taking advantage within analytics,
it's similar to the way that some people don't enjoy
watching the way basketball is played currently
in the five out.
Where it's just, yeah, it's just shooting threes and as many threes as you can per game to capitalize on.
Analytics.
Oh, let's take advantage of this weak spot.
That's what baseball's done in every aspect of the game.
What do you do for a week's job at a bakery?
Were you glazing donuts?
Did you learn to make anything?
I didn't make anything.
I showed up late, so I missed a lot of time, apparently.
I did like coffee drinks, and then just really like,
they did like cookie sandwiches.
So I would put the icing in the middle of the cookies.
But did you make the icing?
No, I didn't make anything.
Wait, it didn't come out of a,
it didn't come out of a container that you bought, did it?
No, they, so the owner of the bakery got there
at like three in the morning.
And she would do all that stuff and then we would show up
and then we would, it was just like customer service.
How many people worked there?
I don't know, three or four.
I didn't work there that long, so I really don't know.
Is that the smallest time,
the shortest time you've ever had a job?
I was a nanny for a week before I got fired.
And then they realized you can't take care of kids?
No, I am super great with kids.
Those kids were terrible.
How do you know how Willow's gonna be?
She's been great.
I've watched Willow before.
And I babysit a lot.
I'm very good with kids.
These kids were just exceptionally bad kids.
Like, were they not toilet trained?
No, I mean, they were old.
So like, here's an example.
So their mom was like, hey girl,
you just let them do their thing, live their life.
Only thing is there's no like R rated movies,
stuff that you would normally not let a kid do.
So these kids were sitting there and they're like,
we wanna watch National Lampoon's Vacation.
I said, well that's a R rated movie.
Great movie.
There's like a lot of like tit scenes in that movie.
And I said, well, you're five, so let a R rated movie. Great movie. There's like a lot of like tit scenes in that movie.
And I said, well, you're five, so let's not do that.
Show them the one with commercials.
It was a DVD.
So they gave us the DVD and I said, hey, sorry,
your mom said you can't watch these movies.
I said, okay, well, she said you can't do it, sorry.
And they start flipping out and I said, that's fine,
whatever, we're just gonna put on something else.
Let's watch Trolls.
So we put on Trolls, one of the kids goes to the bathroom,
comes back, has her cell phone, goes, it's our mom, Friau.
And she hands me the phone and I'm like,
hey, Megan, what's up?
And she's like, yeah, you can just let the kids
watch the movie.
And they would-
They went over your head.
They did that to me so many times.
Now here's the final straw, okay?
So it was day four and I said, this isn't gonna last.
I know this isn't gonna, it's not gonna go well.
So I brought my sister with me.
Because my sister-
Well how long were you nannying for?
This is gonna be like a full time thing?
It was supposed to be a full summer.
It was supposed to be a full summer.
So I'm-
I thought it was like for the parents on vacation.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
So she was like going to work and I was watching her kids.
So it was day four and I knew I was gonna get fired
because these kids were so bad.
So I brought my little sister with me.
And Kate was like, Lucy, you're being so overdramatic.
Like these kids are fine.
I said, I don't think so.
So I brought Kate with me.
And the way I paid Kate to come with me
is I took her to get breakfast that morning.
So we got coffee and breakfast sandwiches, whatever.
So we're sitting there and the kids are being a menace.
And then this little girl, she's like,
Lucy, can I have your coffee?
And it was like a really sugary coffee drink.
So I said, no, Ava, you can't have it.
So I go to the bathroom, I come back,
and she sits there, she holds up the coffee,
and says, you won't let me have it,
and dumps it on the floor in front of me.
Oh no, oh no.
She was a devil child.
They were bad kids.
They were not good kids, and then they were like,
hey, you don't have to come in tomorrow,
and then Megan was like, sorry,
we're not gonna need anyone to watch the kids.
And they didn't hire anybody else,
because no one would sit and watch those kids.
Wait, so what happened with the kids?
I would unplug every TV in that damn house.
Well, so Megan had to, I don't know if she quit her job,
but she started working from home.
The one moment from that whole experience
that really sticks with me is they were like,
hey, we wanna do, put on a musical performance for you.
And I said, that's totally fine.
That is perfect, that's so nice. And kids do that that all the time so they come out and they chose the song damn
It feels good to be a gangster
And then like the brother like pretended to beat the shit out of his sister. Oh my god baseball and I was just like
Did you stop it no it was their performance
It was the only time that whole week they listened to me.
And so and then they just like got that cup and I was like,
OK, that was great.
I wouldn't have fired you.
They are, one of them's old enough to be in college.
Well, the others are in junior.
And then they, I don't know if they're doing well or not.
There's a movie called My Babysitter,
you may want to check that out.
There's also a movie called Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitter's Dead that you need to step up
and protect yourself.
Like nah, these little kids is off the, bruh.
You're crazy.
I would unplug every damn TV in the house,
unplug, give me your phone chargers
And then give me all your phones you go to your room you go to your room
And I will come tell y'all we I use the bathroom uncle ju makes it happen if you road rage
Road rage that's one of the ones
Road rage is something that I'm just not big enough to do hmm
Road rage is something that I'm just not big enough to do. Hmm.
Hold on, wait.
You just said you used to take trash
and put it in folks' faces when they drop it on the-
We're talking current day.
Oh, current day, okay, okay.
Current day.
Yes, sir.
Don't do the road rage anymore
because I used to be a honker.
I cannot stand when you're slowing the left lane.
I don't understand it.
I'm the flasher with like-
You can still be a honker though. Good like. You can still be a honker though.
Good clarification.
You can still be a honker.
Thank you also.
It's not nice to honk, but I can't stand people
who are not paying attention.
And the corollary to that, it's the online for food
at a game, you get to the front of the line
and then you start looking at the menu.
If I were bigger.
That drives me crazy.
I can't be the only one on that.
I don't understand.
I don't get that in drive-thrus.
Like you've been to McDonald's a thousand times.
Like, you know what you want.
There's special times though, because Chick-fil-A,
their employees, they come get you way before the sign.
So it's been like a year and a half
since I've seen a Chick-fil-A menu.
So I'm just spicy chicken sandwiches.
I would like to see it one more time.
Refresh myself.
I get peer pressured into just ordering anything
at that point.
Cause like they have like a little iPad
and like, what do you want?
And I'm like, I don't know when you're on chicken.
And I'll just get chicken.
I'm like, what kind?
Yeah, but I don't, if it's a restaurant,
like he's saying that I don't go to, I don't see a menu.
Go online before you go.
Every menu is available online.
You should be prepared.
You can order ahead, which is what I do a lot of the time.
Just order ahead on my app.
You can do that too.
Pick it up in two seconds about.
Coins.
Do not waste my time going in your wallet
trying to get exact change when I'm waiting to check out.
Do not do it.
I want all coins to be eliminated.
I want every price to be the rounded up or down.
Really?
I don't want something that's 9.69
and then someone's pulling out.
And then, and then don't even get me started
on the people working or the people giving the coins,
trying to count the change,
which by the way takes forever and they get it wrong.
And then there's a recount,
which Florida is very familiar with.
That's one of them categories where sleep
could help with that, brother.
I'm not a coin fan.
I think it's reasonable and I've spoken to people
and I've asked them why the treasury continues
to have coins.
I'm shocked because you look like someone
that collects coins.
Collects coins?
Yeah, like you have collectible coins.
I'm not a collector.
You're not a collector?
Y'all seem like a thousand-
Like a thousand-
Bobbleheads on your damn banister.
I have memorabilia, but I'm not a collector.
I have stuff that means something to me
that I love looking at.
You have something that means a lot to you
that you're doing to help others, don't you?
I do, thank you very much.
I'm gonna be very quick about this
because I'm doing something for charity
and I'd like people to bid for it.
There's something called
the Bridge Hampton Child Care Center.
People think the Hamptons is only for rich people.
It's not.
Most of the people are underprivileged, underserved,
and this is a center that helps those kids
with after school activities and programs,
and I'm auctioning off a lunch with me.
I'll pay, drinks included,
and you can pitch me a business that I'll look at
and see if we can find some investors.
Whatever you can do, go on Charity Buzz
and you can have lunch with me.
I'm going right now.
Bidding ends on July 17th and we will have lunch.
It can be in New York, it can be Miami,
it can be anywhere.
There's a QR code on your screen if you're watching
on YouTube or on DraftKings.
Please, please be charitable, however it is that you do it.
Howdy y'all, it's Mike.
And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the
best way to grill.
One thing that is not up for debate, grilling and beer always go together.
Even I know that, and I'm not the manliest American type, but I know that if I'm grilling
out there, I need a Miller Lite in my hand.
Why?
Because Miller Lite keeps it simple,
undebatable quality, and it tastes as great as my barbecue.
It's a beer that strips away everything that I don't need
and holds on to what matters most,
the light beer with the most taste,
less filling and only 96 calories.
Nothing says summer like a Miller Lite.
It's the original light beer since 1975 and a perfect companion for all grill masters
or wannabe grill masters across this great land.
With a Miller Lite in your hand, grilling doesn't just taste great, it tastes like Miller time.
To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you
can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer.
Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.
When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right
for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to
help find the right professionals for your team, faster and for free. As MetalArk Media continues
to grow as a content studio, we strive to hire only the best
and most qualified candidates. Thankfully with LinkedIn, they've made it easy for us to find them.
LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else.
Even those who aren't actively searching for new jobs might be open to the perfect role.
In a given month, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other job leading sites.
So if you're not looking on LinkedIn, you're looking in the wrong place.
On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours.
Hire professionals like a professional.
On LinkedIn, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash prep.
That's LinkedIn.com slash P-R-E-P to post your job for free.
Terms and conditions apply.