The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: My Voice Is Strong and My Bottom Is Fresh (feat. David Samson)

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Not only does David admit to causing someone else's divorce, but in a separate instance, Domonique expected him to CARE for a sports fan. Ha. Hahahaha. HAHAHAHAHA! Learn more about your ad choices. Vi...sit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Okay, flights on Air Canada. How about Prague? Ooh, Paris. Those gardens. Gardens. Um, Amsterdam. Tulip Festival. I see your festival and raise you a carnival in Venice. Or Bermuda has carnaval. Ooh, colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom. Book it. Um, how did we get to Thailand from Prague?
Starting point is 00:00:22 Oh, right. Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations. If you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented Tequila. Cuervo.
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Starting point is 00:01:12 Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.
Starting point is 00:01:32 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This segment is presented by LinkedIn jobs. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash DLS. Terms and conditions apply. We back and we are bringing in another teammate to help us get this dub in game three, the rubber match, the great David Sampson's in the building.
Starting point is 00:01:55 What up, David? How are you? I wish I were in the building. Sadly, I'm just on a little square, but my voice is strong and my bottom is fresh. Okay. There we go. Love that you got a...
Starting point is 00:02:10 Flea flicker. Everybody's putting it down, that's how we start. I love it, man. So there are a couple of things I wanna get to with you. There's a game that I wanna play with you also. So my social media algorithm has shown me recently that a lot of wives and girlfriends are playing music for their significant others
Starting point is 00:02:33 in hopes that they can clap on beat. I feel like I'm looking around this whole thing and I'm like, you know who I think would do a great job of this is David Sampson. So David, how are you musically? Are you, are you a, you have that type of rhythm? I'm a big Jack Wagner fan. All I need is just a little more time to be sure how I feel. Is it just in my mind? It's incredible. It's outstanding.
Starting point is 00:03:07 The only other question that I have for you, or not only other question, there's one other question that's not on the list of things that I wanted to talk to you about is, have you ever seen or reviewed a Tyler Perry movie? I have not reviewed it on the show and I I've seen two of them as my guests. Wow, which ones? How many Madeyas have there been?
Starting point is 00:03:31 Too many. Madeyas? Like seven? What's Madeya? Five? I think he means Madea. Oh! Madea, Madea, Tomato, Tomato.
Starting point is 00:03:41 So you've seen a couple of them, which ones? I think I've seen two. Madea Goes to Prison? Was it? It's like saying I've seen a couple of them, which ones? I think I've seen two. Medea goes to prison? Was it? It's like saying I've seen a couple of Ernest movies. Medea says do. Right. Or Fast and the Furious is.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Medea says. Wasn't there? Halloween or? Yeah, wasn't there a Halloween one? I don't know, I thought there was a Halloween one. If you're listening or viewing this at home and you're like, oh, Dominique's so funny, man. He's just making up stuff. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:04:05 That's a real one. I believe that's a real one. There are 11 listed Madea movies. There's Diary of a Black Woman, which I guess is where we were introduced to. Mad Black Woman. Yeah, where we were introduced to Madea. Then Madea's family reunion, meet the Browns.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Madea goes to jail. I can do bad all by myself. Madea's big happy family. Madea's witness protection. Madea gets a job. A Madea Christmas big happy family, Madea's witness protection, Madea gets a job, a Madea Christmas, boo, a Madea Halloween. Gets a job! Get a job!
Starting point is 00:04:30 One nothing Tyler. Oh, good for him. You can't get a movie made these days and he got 11 of them done with the character. Is that a more successful franchise than what Eddie Murphy did with his, oh God. I'm having a moment. Nutty Professor.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Who's got the better, bigger franchise? It's gotta be Tyler Perry. I mean, Tyler Perry, counting dollars, then yes, Tyler Perry. For counting actual movies that people wanna watch, I would say Eddie. Yeah, I don't consider them the same category. You know, I feel like they're playing different sports.
Starting point is 00:05:07 It's like, Tyler Perry is like producer, actor, guy, and Eddie Murphy is like, talent. Yeah, one of the greatest movie stars and comedians in the history of everything. Maybe his franchise isn't the best, but that tends to be the case, is like the most profitable things
Starting point is 00:05:23 are not always the highest quality, right? That is a very sad statement, but a very true statement. And it comes on the heels of a Val Kilmer passed away last night. And I was thinking about the Batman franchise. And I was thinking about all the different actors who have played Batman and where Val sort of stands. And is it because he was sick young and that becomes more sympathetic? Are people gonna remember Batman Forever as a better movie than it actually was?
Starting point is 00:05:49 I think about whether or not sort of early tragic death changes people's reputation and the art that they made and I think it really does often. Let me tell you right now, it's not going to, people are not gonna remember that movie kindly. By the way, that was Cinephobe episode, which one was it? 245, you can catch that wherever you catch podcasts.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Doing great here, man. I would love, I don't know if I would've been more impressed or happy or frustrated if David said he's seen all the Madea movies. I don't know how that makes you feel, because I know that this from my galavant with Charlie, his friend who is a well-to-do white goes to see every Madea movie on opening night,
Starting point is 00:06:34 which my reaction to that is like, wait, why? Like, wait, what do you, I mean, what's the- There's an angle, what's your angle? Like, you just appreciate the cinematic quality of it, or you going, you laughing at or with Madea is my question. You guys ever heard of a movie called White Man's Burden? Yes. It has John Travolten.
Starting point is 00:06:52 It's like the flip, right? Reality Switch Sides is the tagline, right? We also reviewed it for Cinepho, by the way. But in the Reality Switch Sides universe, where black people are the predominant culture or whatever, if I heard a white guy say, I go to watch Madea on opening night, he's getting flagged, red flag,
Starting point is 00:07:10 you gotta bring him in. What's the deal? What are you up to, boy? What's going on? You into? No. Dave, David, did you see the clip of the Hawks fan falling during the in arena tic-tac-toe
Starting point is 00:07:24 layup game last night. Yeah, of course. He tore his knee. Well, perhaps. A few weeks ago we were talking about what you as the Marlins president would give fans if they were injured on premises. So what's this guy getting
Starting point is 00:07:37 if this is at one of your sporting events? So this is a good example where you don't get to do this unless you've signed a waiver, a specific liability waiver. So we could get away with absolutely nothing, but we'd probably give him a nice bag on the way out the door, and that's about it. But he is really up to himself. He's got to show insurance
Starting point is 00:07:57 prior to doing an activity like that. You don't just get, like when you have fans running in the outfield, what's the one Atlanta does? The freeze. The freeze. The freeze. When they have to beat the freeze, can't you just picture the guys like pulling a hammy or something?
Starting point is 00:08:12 So in order for that to work, you do sign something. So no, I would just apologize to the guys, say tough break and help them to the doctor. When you say a bag, you don't mean of money. You mean a bag of like a t-shirt and a hat. That's exactly what I mean. A t-shirt, a hat, a giveaway, maybe throwing a bobble head, maybe an autographed ball.
Starting point is 00:08:33 If it's actually torn, I'd probably, that's a torn ACL is probably an autographed ball. If it's ACL, MCL, and meniscus, probably an autographed bat. What if he throw the PCL in there too? We get all of them. Alphabet soup. Then you get to meet somebody. If you tear the PCL also, we'll take you down and we'll have a player visit you
Starting point is 00:08:52 on your way being wheeled into the ambulance. So question, do you do the ligament test yourself or do you take his word for it? Because Billy is alleging that maybe he was embarrassed that he kind of slipped and fell and was sort of doing like, you know, the the grape lady like, Yeah, you just grab your knees to save face a little bit like, oh, that poor guy, he got hurt, he can't continue. It's really just embarrassment.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah, you need the MRI results. This is not based on the honor system. Now I just want to hear the grape lady. But David, I feel bad because I don't think she was faking it. It's just the sound. David, is there, so there's no circumstance where you would not just take care of this guy? Like I'm looking at- Take care? I'm looking at, if you tear- Like do the surgery?
Starting point is 00:09:36 No, not use yourself, but pay for it. Take care? No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, take care of his knee. Like there's no circumstance, because you have this waiver protection, there's no circumstances where because you have this waiver protection, there's no circumstances where you would waive the waiver
Starting point is 00:09:48 and recognize that, all right, this guy is in such bad condition and is so unfortunate that we are going to at least take care of your surgery and rehab, right? What the hell are you talking about? I literally don't understand the words you're saying, but it must be me. I don't know if I have a bad connection.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I think I hear you right, but Dominique, no. There is not a scenario under which we would pay for the surgery of someone who gets hit or hurt during an on-field game that we would play in between it. Okay, so there's a couple of reasons why I would push back and think that it would be worth considering. One is goodwill with your fan base, which maybe you don't care about.
Starting point is 00:10:29 And two is long-term protection against when this guy can't afford to pay for his own surgery because he doesn't have insurance and his whole life and family falls apart. 10 years from now, there's a big expose about how David Sampson had a waiver in his face rather than help him out like I I would think that the $20,000 or whatever it would cost on the front end to get somebody right will be worth protecting yourself
Starting point is 00:10:54 because you know what's not gonna matter your stupid ass waiver we're saying hey hey I understand that his life has fallen apart and he is now without home but don't worry don't worry we now without home. But don't worry, don't worry. We were legally protected guys, right? Don't you, you have any fear of that? No, and Dominique, I would encourage you. I understand what you're saying, but I would like you to find one,
Starting point is 00:11:15 you try to make me out as the only team president who acted this way. Find another team that does that when there's an injury to a fan, whether it's a foul ball or someone slips and falls, you may do a settlement for a lawsuit. We talked about that on a recent show. But paying for the surgery?
Starting point is 00:11:31 Find me one other team that does that. Give me, oh sorry. No, I'm just gonna say the waivers. This is standard practice across all sports, across all arenas. I worked, my first job in NBA was Game Ops. And so we were the people that had to pick these people from the crowd to do these things.
Starting point is 00:11:46 And the first thing you do is you hand them a piece of paper, you gotta sign this. It says, anything happens out here, you're on your own. I feel like you probably picked people in the hopes that they would do something funny. They were all, I don't think you were out there looking for athletes. Oh no, it's all about, you know what it was mostly about
Starting point is 00:12:01 is making sure the two were equal. Like you didn't want like one person was like doing Windmills and the other one was doing that right all right. Let's lift the spirits. Give me some grape lady Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, like they're squashing grapes under their feet. Making wine. And then she says something to the effect of, okay, let's race. And then she says stop, but then she keeps going. Right, like they were like, all right, let's stop. Oh, psych, I didn't even want to stop it. And that's when she falls and busts her ass.
Starting point is 00:12:55 She's on a platform too. It's not just busting grapes on the ground. For whatever reason, they had to elevate. Apparently she broke a couple ribs. Did she? It sounds like it. She stays out of the spotlight now. I can, ow, ow. Apparently she broke a couple ribs. Did she? It sounds like it. She stays out of the spotlight now. I can't breathe.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Stop. But this was 2006. This is one of the early YouTube viral videos. E-bombs world. No, I think she is. Yeah, she's hurt. She took a hard fall off there. It was her and the guy who got the fly
Starting point is 00:13:19 that flew in his mouth. Oh, yeah, where he went from being a news guy to being our uncle. This country-ass shit. By the way, Dominique, I suggest if you and Taylor Oh, yeah, yeah where he went from being a news guy to being this country Dominique I Suggest if you and Taylor do some sort of race do not sign any metal David will try to slide you on Any waivers, you know what? I I think Billy can you somehow find my guy that's behind
Starting point is 00:13:44 Taylor in that race Jason. Yeah, Jason Jason, Mason. Okay, that was the guy On what if they will get to that in a second David? I do I respect you in your sport of baseball There's the picture of Taylor. So find that guy. Yeah, hey Billy Gill Can get you Taylor I want no not Yeah, hey Billy Gill. What is this, Google I got a question for you or I do want to give you an opportunity to discuss the torpedo bats like I feel like we've been all over the place. I'm not a fan of the torpedo bat. Lots of people are fans.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I'm confused why every player doesn't have a torpedo bat right now. What are your thoughts on the torpedo bat in MLB right now, David? So let's start with why every player doesn't have a torpedo bat right now. What are your thoughts on the torpedo bat in MLB right now, David? So let's start with why every player doesn't have one. Bats, I'm trying to think of the football equivalent to a piece of equipment that you use that is so personal, it's so based on feel, and that there are major differences between bats, both in length, all within,
Starting point is 00:14:41 it could be shoes for a football player. In the NBA? Shoes too. In the NBA, I can't think of anything, maybe how you tape your legs or how you tape your ankles or the shoes that you wear, the sneakers, why everybody doesn't wear full high tops is funny to me because it can help protect the ankle. But in bats to me, the only equivalent I can think of
Starting point is 00:14:59 is a golf club, where golfers have a certain feel of what clubs they like. In, if you talk to a baseball player, a bat is second most personal item to their glove. But a bat is how you make your money. And what the torpedo bat is, it's not new at all. Players have been using it. Non-Yankees have been using it, including last year.
Starting point is 00:15:23 But what it does is it gives you analytically a better chance to have hard contact when you hit the ball where you're supposed to hit it. It doesn't mean that it's the right configuration for every player because when a player holds a bat, and I've spoken, Ichiro's a great person to talk to. He treats his bats like their family. He wasn't allowed, we were not allowed.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Part of the deal with Ichiro is we weren't allowed to travel his bats with the other equipment because there's a bat case that all the bats go in. His bats were totally in a separate case, totally separate, never to be lost and never to be touched by anyone, by the way. And it's a feel that you have not just at the bottom, but it's the weight and how the weight's distributed.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And what the torpedo bats do is they distribute the weight differently and some players just don't want that. So it really is a personal choice. Wait, hold on. You got each hero's bat sitting in first class and watching the other bats go behind as it chips champagne like, oh, peasants. Oh, those bats.
Starting point is 00:16:23 The other bats are not in first class, they're not in coach, they're in steerage. So where is the Ichiro's bat? They are shoved onto the plane in a way that would make your eyes water. But Ichiro's bats were special. They're down there dancing? Like us at Dan's wedding, remember that?
Starting point is 00:16:38 That's a callback. At Dan's wedding, for those who don't know, Dan's wedding, there was like two sections. There was like the hoity-toity section. That's where Dan Patrick and Sarah Spayne and Mina Kahn's at Poblatorio hanging out. And then there was the Titanic section. There was me, Chris, and Billy.
Starting point is 00:16:56 And Ryan Cortez. And Ryan Cortez. Is it true that E.T. Row kept his bat in like a humidor? So when you say humidor, I associate that with a mechanism inside that does something with temperature. Is that accurate? Yeah, so it's not a humidor. It was just, it was a protective case
Starting point is 00:17:14 that very much would not let them touch any other bat, would not let them touch each other. They were very much separated. Wow, bat segregation. I don't know how I feel about that. No touching. they were very much separated. Wow, that's a little bit of bad segregation. I don't know how I feel about that. No touching! All right, Charlie, I think you got something for me, right?
Starting point is 00:17:31 Yeah, we're doing a little bit of research. We're doing a little bit of research. David, was there an issue when you were at the Marlins of shooting a T-shirt gun that hit a woman in the head that you guys got sued over? Would you care to comment? Oh. Does this sound familiar? I would say I wouldn't comment, only in that,
Starting point is 00:17:52 that would be one of scores of lawsuits that every team gets, standard. We ended up not being able to shoot, like, hard things like hot dogs too high. It's why when you go to a game, it stinks. Only the people with good seeds tend to get stuff these days because we were told by lawyers, don't shoot stuff into the upper decks.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Not that we had the upper deck open all that often, but don't shoot stuff too deep because you could end up hurting someone. Did someone get hit by a t-shirt? I sort of remember that, but it didn't matter enough to me. I'm gonna say maybe that's a 10K issue at best. So no bag with no T-shirt, no hat. No, that would know,
Starting point is 00:18:31 because once the lawsuit comes in, then there's no conversation at all, except with the lawyers, and then you're just talking settlement. How often would you guys get sued a year for stuff like that? Because this past weekend, I was at Disney, and I was sitting down eating,
Starting point is 00:18:44 I was like, man, there are hundreds of thousands of people here, they must get sued a year for stuff like that? Because like this past weekend, I was at Disney and I was sitting down eating, I was like, man, there are like hundreds of thousands of people here. They must get sued a hundred times a day by someone for something stupid. I think that's too many, but I would say over the course of a year, at least 10 every year, it's not a hundred a day, but at least 10. And that's actual filing of suits related to things that happen in the stands.
Starting point is 00:19:07 There's all sorts of other lawsuits that happen just during the course of a business. And we weren't the only team you sue your corporate sponsors when they don't pay or your season ticket holders when they don't pay. Every team does that as well. But you're talking about slip and fall cases specifically. I would say 10 most frivolous one that you've received or that you remember. I mean, to me, remember my perspective, I find them all to be frivolous. But I think the most frivolous lawsuit I ever saw is when we were blamed in the for the
Starting point is 00:19:35 divorce of a couple. There you go. And the argument was that the wife was flirting with players and managers down near the dugout and that caused the divorce. And so we were sued and we were blamed for the dissolution of the marriage. So was the argument where your players were too handsome, your players were too approachable,
Starting point is 00:20:03 your players were too flirtatious, like just existing is not, I would think, enough to put in a legal argument, right? Oh, you can put anything in a legal argument, of course. But yes, this was an interesting one. I actually got served personally for this one, being blamed for having introduced the woman to a player or a manager
Starting point is 00:20:25 that then led to some nefarious activity that then led to the dissolution of the marriage. Of course I had no recollection and of course that's not actionable. Of course that's ridiculous. So of course it was dismissed summarily immediately. I never appeared, never testified. I only had to do one or two depositions on it.
Starting point is 00:20:42 But it is crazy to me that you could blame a third party it's like blaming a bartender for your slump buster it just doesn't really make sense to me wait so was there more to this relationship than just like the introduction so allegedly there was uh an introduction that led to things that happen after people are introduced. I mean not every time people are introduced. Weather is starting to warm up. Regular season is starting to wind down. Games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up.
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Starting point is 00:22:16 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Hey friends, it's Jarro Bear here, and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice, because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to.
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Starting point is 00:23:25 Undebatable who the world's number one vodka is that is smirnoff and as fun as it is to debate whether or not the team with The number one pick goes pass rusher wide receiver quarterback one thing that we all know is we're going with smirnoff as our number one Vodka pick isn't that right Dan oh Smirnoff rules So while you're over there hosting your draft parties you know one thing in particular you need well there's two things that you absolutely need the draft on tv that's a must but number two what is it Dano? Smyrnof! Do you like Dano? Support the people who support us Smyrnof supports us i like Smyrnof i don't like Dano! And thanks to Smyrnof god bless football is doing their first ever watchalong livestream
Starting point is 00:24:08 in front of a live audience in Nashville, Tennessee. Join God Bless Football during round one of the draft on the Levitar Show YouTube channel on April 24th. More details to come. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff, number 21 vodka, distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smirnoff Company, New York, New York, please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Woohoo! Don Lebatard. Tate-as. Stugats. Tate-as. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats. David, those of us that aren't familiar, what is a Slump Buster? Nope. I don't want to talk about that.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Play some music before we see if David can clap, guys. Let's play a little music. Over Zoom, you feel good about this, Dom? Does he know what a beat is? I feel like he's giving us multiple claps to catch multiple. There's one tempo, like get the tempo. Maybe there's a delay. Four claps? That's not a clap.
Starting point is 00:25:23 Either way, whether it's a delay or not, this is not on beat. On beat has to be. It's on beat in my ear, Donnie. That's the only answer. That's all we needed, buddy. That's the only answer you could ever get. That's all we needed, buddy.
Starting point is 00:25:35 All right, I wanna get back to this, the... The posters? Nope, I do not wanna talk about that. You nailed it. Good job, David, you won. But I do wanna get want to talk about that. You nailed it, good job David, you won. But I do want to get back to the idea that, so you introduced these people. So they weren't just like regular fans, right?
Starting point is 00:25:53 You didn't just, these were hody-toity-well-to-do people. I have no recollection, your honor. Ooh. I do not know of what you speak. Ooh, hold on now. Do you speak. Oh, hold on now. Do you know how many times, hold on. This is insane that you're, Dominique, you of all people in this room,
Starting point is 00:26:12 if you wanted to meet someone in the stands, do you agree that there's someone in your clubhouse or in your organization who could effectuate such meeting? This is, this is again, last time we were on together, you were awesome, you're the MVP of that week, and it was great, but I remember saying this to you then also, is football is very different from basketball and baseball, we don't have that,
Starting point is 00:26:34 like that's just not a thing. The, what? No, where you, so like, if you've ever been on a football field, it's not quite, yeah I know how you guys are, you guys are on the road, you play 100 games, and the fans are much closer, and there's time to look around, that's not quite, yeah, I know how you guys are. You guys are on the road, you play 100 games, and the fans are much closer, and there's time to look around. That's not how football works.
Starting point is 00:26:50 It's so rare for a football player to be in one of the 16 games of the year to look around and say, oh, where's the baddie section there? There's a baddie, go get him. I know this happens, but it doesn't happen in football. Hold on, you're on the sideline. You're telling me there's no, there's no like, huh?
Starting point is 00:27:08 Like that never happens, not you specifically. No, I know what you're saying. It's rare if it happens, like football. Guys are locked in on the game. Yeah. I'm not buying it, I mean. Okay, y'all don't have to buy it. I imagine that there is a time when it's happened,
Starting point is 00:27:23 but generally the fans are not as close, the weather is not as nice, and you aren't in, we have fewer games, there's more locked in. So of all the players, and there are only a couple of players who have that level of pull, like most of the guys on a football roster
Starting point is 00:27:40 are trying to stay on the roster. They're not looking up to see what they're gonna do tonight. We fly into a city, you have dinner, you have a curfew, you go win the game, you get on a plane, and you fly out. I'm trying to explain to you guys that it's very different from what you guys do, where you go to a city, you hang around, you play a game, you got another game a night later,
Starting point is 00:27:59 you come back to that city in two weeks. It's a whole different, you got 82 games, or 100, what you got 160 some games? I'll sell like a bunch of- 162, 81 on the road. Right. Like a bunch of nerds, man. We are, football players are nerds,
Starting point is 00:28:12 that's why people like us. Did the guy renew his season tickets the next season? They did not renew after the divorce. The thing that we do have- Did the players stay on the team? Yet, no, but not for that reason. Wow, so it's all for not. We do have, where we do have a little bit
Starting point is 00:28:30 of this type of behavior is in seating charts. It's like. On the plane? No, not on the plane, in the stadium. Oh, well you gotta make sure the family section is different from the jump hole section. Yeah, I mean I'm sure that you guys are aware of that and also the wrist ball section. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure that you guys are aware of that. And also, the wristbands.
Starting point is 00:28:46 To get into, there's like a family room or like an area, a backstage sort of area where you go to if you need a break or to get some food or to meet the players after the game. That's a big thing. And that's where we've had a couple fights where someone gave someone else a wristband. So like- Later of the week? In a city, there are obviously some people a couple fights where someone gave someone else a wristband.
Starting point is 00:29:05 So like in a city, there are obviously some people who frequent the clubs and parties and there was someone who was friends with multiple people on the team and they let them into the family room, created a beef. You guys never have that conversation at the beginning of the year? I think it was, no. No, I'm like, I'm telling you, as an organization, David, I'm sure you guys had this too. It's like, you get this many family room credentials.
Starting point is 00:29:30 This is for family. This isn't for another one. You have that conversation. But if you are new to the city and you meet someone that you like and she becomes your girlfriend and you give her a wristband to get into the family and friends, you did not know that maybe she was someone else's friend at some point.
Starting point is 00:29:51 And then they get into the room and then there's some issue because the wife is like, what's this person doing here? It's a mess. So you're only talking about home games then because on the road you said there's no time to meet anybody because you have dinner, curfew,, because on the road you said there's no time to meet anybody because you have dinner, curfew, play, win the game you said. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:08 And then fly out. So you mean the home games. Speaking of these type of things, you think Zion Williamson is a bust? Oh, I think that I've been talking about that on Nothing Personal for years now. How, no, I don't care how good you are when you're on the court.
Starting point is 00:30:21 If you're only on the court 30 games a year, you can't be considered a successful player. Now, would I rather have John Morant or Zion? I've said from the beginning, I'd rather have John Morant and that's given all of his off court issues. Frankly, I'd probably rather go E, none of the above, but Zion's out of chances for me. They gave him that huge max deal, I mean, which made me crazy, a total waste because every year with him, it is something and they just shut him down now and you're gonna say, oh, it's for tanking, there's nothing to play for. No, I wanna see that guy actually play and perform,
Starting point is 00:30:57 not have him sit the way he always does. I think Zion Williamson is a clear bust. You're so angry about it though. Like that's the thing that- I want players to play. Well Zion is the lightest that he's been since college. It appears that the injuries, some of them I guess you could argue about his fault.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And you said even taking along jazz off court issues, I think you could argue that Zion has some off court concerns that could get in the way also. But I guess I'm just surprised and shocked, but it reiterates how valuable players of this level of talent are in the NBA Zion is like though is the toughest kind of case study because he is good Yeah, like if he wasn't good, this would be an easy conversation his contract as you know David is has
Starting point is 00:31:41 Provisions that are not common in the NBA in terms of a level of non-guarantee, a level of guarantee only if he hits weight and plays a certain number of games that like for next year it's 40% guaranteed had he stayed at a certain amount of weight and played at least 41 games, right? It's another 20% guarantee if he plays at least 51 games, right? So that's already a level of contract that we'd never see in our league, right? So you could say, man, this guy's always hurt and he's always out of shape.
Starting point is 00:32:12 We should cut him because we've got all this protection in the contract that basically allows us to walk away scot-free. The problem is he's good and you know it. And you know if it ever comes together, like in terms of just staying healthy, he's gonna kill it somewhere else, and then you gotta explain to ownership
Starting point is 00:32:28 how you let this guy just walk. The John Morant one is different because beyond his off-the-court issues, which seem to be behind him at this stage, he also gets hurt a lot. Not as much as Zion, but he's hardly a vision of health himself. And so both of those guys, and I would throw Joel and Bede in there in the conversation
Starting point is 00:32:49 as well, it gets you into real murky waters because you know when they're healthy, they are elite. But the problem is when they're healthy, that part is not a guarantee. Teams are scattered. The sports world is scattered by players who have this intoxicating level of skill that when they're on the field, it's just so good. It's like poetry, except they get hurt all the time. And at some point you just realize
Starting point is 00:33:13 that's what you have here. You have great skill. Sometimes you say great skill, no head, and you need both a head and skill to succeed at the big league level or at the professional level. Sometimes you have a great head and that overcomes not perfect skill.
Starting point is 00:33:28 But the hardest thing, as you pointed out, is admitting to yourself when it's time to move on. And one of the lessons you learn at GM and president school is you're not gonna get everyone right. And I'd rather be wrong early than right late. And Zion is a case for me where I don't wanna throw any more good money after bad. I wanna move on from him and reallocate my resources,
Starting point is 00:33:51 start again, and if he ends up being healthy and good for 10 more years after this with someone else, that just counts as one of the bad, but I'd like my chances. David, how much does job security factor into that decision-making? So it's why we like signing our GMs to long-term deals because we didn't like GMs no matter what you say. It's a normal reaction that you don't think
Starting point is 00:34:14 about five years from now if you're not gonna be there five years from now. And if you're on the last year of your deal, which is what the Yankees do, they never extend people until their contract runs out and they hope that people are loyal enough to think about the future that may not benefit them. I have found that that is a rare trait
Starting point is 00:34:32 for employees or presidents to have. It is totally normal to think about yourself and to act in your self-interest. It's actually expected at certain levels of the corporate ladder. And so having people, that's why you give stock options and stock to people of public companies because it's in the best interest of everyone
Starting point is 00:34:52 for the stock to go up. In sports, it's really hard. So we tried to ameliorate that by doing longer term deals. And you don't want to get into a moral hazard situation. I wanted to run something by you. I never quite got to any of my solves for tanking because Amin was convinced that tanking isn't even an issue. But from a team president standpoint,
Starting point is 00:35:15 I want to throw a couple solutions at you. One of the ideas that was floated that isn't my solution but I would be on board is to have, rather than a draft, to have free agency. So anyone who's coming in, you could have, you could put together a contract offer for a player who is a rookie in order to add that player to your team rather than to have the draft.
Starting point is 00:35:38 One of the other solutions is to flatten the lottery odds for everyone who misses the playoffs. And then there was another solution that I thought was interesting that was to do what the WNBA does and have the record over the course of two years determine who is going to be, who's gonna have the top pick.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Are any of those more or less attractive to you? Well, a lot of those exist. Go back to Patrick Ewing's lottery, and maybe I'm wrong, but I think everybody had the same odds, because it was your logo in an envelope in a jar. I think everyone was equal there. In baseball under the new CBA, you cannot get the top pick
Starting point is 00:36:17 multiple years in a row. But let's talk about what you're saying about tanking and the reason for it. Everyone talks about tanking and the reason for it. Everyone talks about tanking for a player. And I don't believe that as a front office, we ever did that in baseball. It's really hard to because you're one, one overall.
Starting point is 00:36:35 It's still only a 50% chance of hitting. But I've thought about it in basketball. And when it's a straight line where you have the worst record, you have the top pick, tanking for that absolutely makes sense. But if they've changed it the way they did in the NBA where you're not guaranteed that, then taking all of a sudden doesn't increase anything but your number of ping pong balls. And that has proven not to be as important as what we're seeing now with Philly that
Starting point is 00:37:01 you were discussing, which is protecting a pick period. So what I would propose to do is to disallow any trades of first round picks that are protected. When you make a trade and you're willing to trade your first round pick, you're throwing caution to the wind. It may be the number one pick. It may be the number 30 pick. It doesn't matter because what protection does
Starting point is 00:37:23 is it actually incentivizes a team on the edge to make sure that they no longer on that edge. And I think that's a big problem. Might be the first time I've ever agreed with you on anything, David. See, that's who you got. You gotta watch who your betfellows are. Good job, David, good answer.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Yeah, I like this betfellow. You don't like that as an idea? No, I like protections. I like the idea of betting people's futures. I like the idea. Well, you can still bet the future without the protection. I know, but I like the added complexity of how sure are you on this bet?
Starting point is 00:37:54 When it turns into protections, we're basically giving shades of gray to what would be a black or white issue. When I was talking earlier about any type of tweaks, and I've been a part of a couple of CBA negotiations, and everything that you put into, every rule that you put into the next CBA always has some knock-on effect
Starting point is 00:38:14 that was not what you anticipated. Called unintended consequence. Unintended consequence, yeah. And that's always, you always think that you're going to solve this problem. I think the NBA is an example of it, in that they put in the max salary because they were like,
Starting point is 00:38:28 all right, we need to make sure that more money goes to the lower players. No, it wasn't because of that. It wasn't about distribution. It was about, Kevin Garnett's got how much? No, these salaries out of control. And they thought this will get salaries in line. And what ended up happening was it just redistributed the money
Starting point is 00:38:46 to create this massive middle class. So in the beginning, it was the owners who wanted max salaries and the players were like, absolutely not because the players association was led by Patrick Ewing and like David Falk and all the big money guys, right? And now it's flipped where it's like, the owner's like, why do we have max salaries?
Starting point is 00:39:01 And the players are like, no, we need them. The unintended consequence of the max salary, and Charlie talks about this very often as a Wizards fan, and anyone who's a fan of a team that doesn't have one of those top 15 guys, every team kind of has to give someone the max. And then you give the max to a guy who's not a top tier guy, and then your team, you can't build a competitor.
Starting point is 00:39:24 And if you don't give a max to your top tier guy, he leaves. So that's one of the knock on effects of the guaranteed or the max salary is it impacts the rosters in that way. So I think whenever we make any of these proposals, you have to be aware of the knock on effects. So I threw a couple out there that I did not agree with. David, you open your mouth to say something. Yeah, I just want to say that I wish you worked for MLB's union because you threw one out there
Starting point is 00:39:48 that I don't know if you meant, but you were calling for immediate free agency and the elimination of the draft. Amen. We propose that always. Immediate free agency, permanent free agency, every single year, no problem. And the union said, no thank you.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Because they did not want that for their players. That's a whole nother conversation, which I didn't want to get into specifically. Free agency, you still have contracts. It's not free agent every year. You sign a contract for however long you determine the contract is going to be for. But the solve that I wanted to throw at you for tanking, and you specifically, is the reason why I think a lot of these tanking solves don't work is because we're looking to disincentivize teams from losing.
Starting point is 00:40:34 And I think that not only do we have to do that, but we have to incentivize them to win. So my argument would be that, particularly because you're impacting the entertainment quality of the game by putting trash lineups on the floor, that the top eight teams in every conference that make the playoffs, top 16 teams in the league, get one distribution, one level of distribution of the TV money. Then all the teams after that who do not make it in, you get a tiered lower level of revenue distribution based on where you rank. Because then you also are incentivized and it does not, I can't foresee any knock-on effects that will be a problem for roster construction going forward. And it holds the team accountable
Starting point is 00:41:25 and incentivizes them to put their best product on the floor. If you want to get your top distribution, get in the damn playoffs. If you don't, go ahead and lose. You won't get one vote for that. You won't even get the Dodgers to vote for that. Because at the end of the day,
Starting point is 00:41:39 every league is 500 at the end of every season. And so there's gonna be teams that miss the playoffs and even the Yankees from time to time will miss the playoffs and there's no way they're gonna take a smaller cut of their TV revenue. It impacts valuation and cash flow. It impacts budgeting. You wouldn't get one vote out of 30 teams.
Starting point is 00:41:58 You'll get a couple votes. You probably wouldn't get enough to get it passed, but it's the most infuriating thing. I'm gonna let you go after this, but one of the most infuriating things. I'm gonna let you go after this, but one of the most infuriating things about pro sports owners is how much they love capitalism until you try to apply to them. You all exist in this cartel, a closed ecosystem,
Starting point is 00:42:15 where no matter how bad your restaurant is, you're still going to turn a profit. No matter how broken your McFlurry machine is, no matter how trash your burgers are. Somebody hurt you, Dalek. You can't, yeah. Somebody hurt you badly, and I'm sorry for that. My guess is the NFL owner.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Hold on, hold on, David. Don't you misdirect. Yes, I've been hurting my life. Doesn't change the fact that you assholes exist in a system where you get to, no matter what you produce, go ahead and cash in, and I wish we were in a system where you get to no matter what you produce, go ahead and cash in. And I wish we were in a situation where the franchise, the freeloading franchises would have to compete in a way that forced them to put the best product on the field.
Starting point is 00:42:56 And you don't get to just show up and be trash and get a big chunk of cash. It's amazing, Dominique, how many players want to be owners. Relegate them. It's amazing. Relegate them. I don't want to talk owners? It's amazing how many players want to be owners. I don't want to talk to you anymore. You're out of here! Weather is starting to warm up. Regular season is starting to wind down. Games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up. I know what you're going to need by your side.
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