The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Beast Bracket
Episode Date: August 1, 2023Greg Cote helps us experience the joy of the mandarin orange, 'The Original Cutie.' Brad Williams is here and explains why we should never have him on the show again. Then, Paul Pierce thinks he was a...s good as Dwyane Wade, and we discuss the spoiler alert tiers. Plus, Ron Magill joins us to tell us about orcas in The Keys and the potential of humans disguised as bears. Also, Ron chats with Tyler 'Dragonfly Jonez' Puryear of 'The Jenkins and Jonez Podcast' about their Beast Bracket, a tournament of theoretical fights between animals. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Welcome to the big suite, presented by Giraffe King.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables
to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,
that face and the habitual liar.
It is looking like Greg Cody is going to be right.
He is coming to the room very confidently.
Hidden in his fist is a Mandarin orange.
You can begin peeling that now,
and we will like to watch you see if you can indeed
eat that in a...
Jesus, he's just too excited.
You just bite it?
A bit?
The rhyme.
What's the template on that thing?
Oh, it's nice.
He's chill. Are we 100% Greg that that's a Mandarin I just don't want you to be
kind of put in a spot where you said you could eat a mandarin in one bite and
they didn't give you while you peel that thing fast that's what that's a joy of a
Mandarin yeah you know you you can get right to it yeah say it's the original
cutie all right down the hatch are you One way. Let's put it on the pole,
please. Juju at Levitard show. Do you peel an orange by taking an original bite because I find
the rind bitter and unpleasant for the palate? But go ahead and let's see. It's a big bite.
But he can eat it in a single bite. I suspect. Let's go ahead and do that and see how this goes and welcome in Lucy and Brad Williams with better timing than the opening segment when I was weeping on the microphone
He did it. He did do it. Good job. Right. Yeah, what a payoff. I didn't know why
Not much of a way, but he gets to Satisfied off in the history of content.
He was shadow boxing.
Wow.
What a delicate.
More, please.
That was excellent.
OK, let's get him more.
He's going to show.
Don't.
Brad, how many can you do in one segment?
It's already been a day.
No, it's great.
Brad, you can help us as somebody who
has expertise navigating comedy and where the potholes are.
He also came in saying, hey, I have learned how to say, and you know it in Mandarin.
And you know it.
And should we let him do that?
Because listen, all I know is the last time I was in this studio, there was a blackout.
And now I'm back.
So I'm just I just hope nothing disastrous happens to anyone on this show today.
You know,
never have me on this show again.
Never massive blackout close family member passes away.
If I'm back on the show your team tells me all right
Do you have all your affairs in order maybe you guys should have your affairs in order?
I'm so sorry to be back here and causing this uh go sit in the penalty
Go go ahead and just get out of here five minutes to say it. I'm sorry
We are it's not for the I'm sorry. It's for killing my brother
Just five just five five, five minute major.
It's a man to me.
I think that that should be more.
Add a $50 fund.
It's a 10 minute misconduct.
Just get out of here.
I want to,
Just got a year.
I want to do gots place some sound here for you
because I can't help but enjoy and Paul Pierce thank you for this
because it is rare in the modern age of where it is and how it is that athletes
are paid for there to be a blood feud that has so much depth to it that the Celtics and the heat are going to hate each other for the rest of time.
I want to take you through the history of how we arrive at Paul Peer saying if Lillard arrives
in Miami, they will get knocked out in the first round and how it is that we arrive at Paul Peer saying
flatly, I'm better than dwayne
weighed imagine what how many chamber you two it's i would have won if i played
with bosh and lebron because this is a story yet it's it's with gardenette
ray alan they want to know but this is that this is one of the reasons that i
find this fascinating in the era that changed basketball that arrives with Lillard now making
the mess because the athlete has that power.
This is a story of architecture.
Like when you go back to Paul Pierce is going to have that bitterness to his grave.
And it begins with Dwayne Wade getting knocked out by his Celtics in a series where Wade
averaged like close to 35 points of game and said afterward,
I'm never going out like this again, said in the press conference, this is the last time I lose
like that when you think of that Boston team, it's what kept LeBron from things because they built
the first team. Pears had it and then won and spent the entire summer in Vegas relaxing, like getting massages
in Vegas because they won one and while he was getting massages in Vegas, Wade did the
plotting architecturally that will make Pears hate him for the rest of time because he stole
what could have been more Paul Pears greatness while Paul Pe Pierce literally slept on a massage table because the
architecture of that is where Pierce got beat because yeah, Pierce probably would have won
those championships and be regarded in the realm of Wade as a champion without us laughing
at him.
If instead of doing what he did for years with Antoine Walker, where we just laughed at those teams,
they had managed to build a super team that was stronger than the one LeBron and Wade had to build to overcome their super team. And don't forget the Brooklyn aspect of it too. Okay,
you're going to take my model. I'm going to take your model and do it better. And now my S.I.
cover has become a thing of a source of comedy. It's basically a meme.
Jason Kidd, Joe Johnson, and Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett.
He failed at that too, getting bounced in the first round
by Dwayne Wade's Miami Heat.
Jealousy is such a bad trait.
You know, for Paul Pierce to be doing what he's doing,
and it's so obviously is jealousy,
it's really, it truly is unbecoming.
And there's not many people on Earth and very
few in Boston who think that Paul Pierce had a better career than...
It's so great though.
Oh, it's fun.
So great.
I'm certain some people in Boston actually agree with Paul Pierce.
But Paul Pierce is better than... He was a good player. Better than one championship.
One championship, oh boy.
Yeah.
I thought you were always worried about that.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not saying he's better than Dwayne Wade,
but it is perfectly reasonable for him to think
that hey, if I had a little more help at times,
I could have won, like, it's not crazy what he's saying.
I like just saying, hey, if I played for Bosch
for these two years, I probably had more than one.
Like, I don't see it as that crazy.
I like when he said put Shaq on my team, we would have won more
and people just forget
Shaq was on his team and they did not win.
I want the jealousy from my athlete to be that overt.
And I want the embers to burn so hot forever more
than years into your retirement,
because he's a Hall of Famer.
You're still out here trying to win not a game,
but an argument.
Right.
But he's being laughed at.
Trying to sway.
Yeah.
He's being laughed at every time he tries to go down that path
by neutrals.
It's not just pulpier sucks chance at the Kaseyah Center.
It's Jalen Rose laughing at him on ESPN television
when he tries to compare himself to Dwayne Wade.
Or when he takes pot shots at the Miami Heat, most recently on the show Time Basketball
show getting dismissed by other people on the day.
So he's, he's become a joke.
You can laugh at him and call the Hall of Famer joke.
I want more of that.
I want more guys, more guys in retirement.
Well, it doesn't seem like he's going to stop.
You're going to be so bothered by the gonna stop. So you're you're good.
To be so bothered by the way it ended
that you had a great career, but it's not enough.
You still want to convince fans.
Hey, I lost at architecture, not at basketball.
I lost at the building of basketball teams,
not at being better at basketball.
I want more of that so I can laugh at them more.
Why?
Because it's hilarious, that's why.
Well, in laugh.
Ha ha ha.
Do you laugh?
Do you know how to laugh?
Yeah, yeah, I know how to laugh.
It's a scary laugh.
It was a scary laugh.
It's like someone who's never laughed before.
It's like you laugh.
It's like the Sanctus.
Yeah.
It was, no, no, it was like drawing.
It was the scary laugh of,
if we heard that at midnight in a cornfield,
it would be horrifying.
And it would be someone who was trying to learn
in the dark, how to laugh.
Someone who was practicing the feeling of joy.
And, and, and we have aliens now, right?
It's how an alien would, would try to replicate
a human laughing.
Artificial intelligence laugh.-human biologics
yeah are we having that pilot on the testified about aliens uh... on tomorrow
because i do believe that's a story that hasn't gotten enough coverage i thought
that would be something that would get our attention but you have a
body is it got more coverage when we didn't know if they were here or not
then it has since we realized they're actually here.
It just, it's weird.
I've had a long standing theory that we don't have any comprehension of this.
We literally can't deal with the notion that we're not the center of the universe,
that we're not the only ones.
And so we're just choosing to kind of ignore it,
because actually facing it makes us ask ourselves
all sorts of questions about our deities,
about our purpose, and we'd rather not do that.
We'd rather watch super leagues on Apple TV.
It's 110 degrees outside.
We don't care about aliens at all.
We got our own problems.
We didn't care about 110 degrees to nine degrees ago.
Like we didn't care about that.
That was happening, and we were talking about the aliens then
and not paying attention to the climate.
Now we're paying attention to the climate
and we're like, oh, you want to live here?
Maybe you can because you can adapt a climate better
than we can.
How smart are they if they want to come to earth?
How intellectual are they if they chose this place?
It's like in science how they came to earth
but they didn't account for water.
Even though most of the Earth is covered in water,
they didn't account for the crazy heat.
Spoiler.
Yeah.
We can't give away signs now.
Swing away.
You guys keep changing the spoiler rules on me.
I really don't know.
Somebody needs to come up with a handbook
of nine years, 10 years, four years.
Here's a handbook.
Don't give away the end to succession five days after the finale. That's like, I don't
believe that that is. I believe five days after a show everyone is watching. I believe if
I'd come on after Game of Thrones five days later and talked about Game of Thrones that
everybody would have said there are no spoilers there. days now that's one day's five days since yeah I would say 30 days now I would say a month
you're safe yeah a month but at least a week get away to wait there's got to be a different
rule for the shows everyone's watching like they're the spoiler alert it can't be the same
if there are these cultural touchstone shows that tear talk spoiler tear talk like for example when we were talking about Paul Pierce
Paul Pierce spoiler alert is on stars and Mars but I didn't want to talk about that in case people
haven't gotten to that episode yet and I didn't see last night's episode so I don't know if he's
still on stars on Mars or not that's why I didn't bring it up Dan because I was trying to be
respectful of all the fans of stars on Mars out there. And while succession is a very good show, probably on the Mount Rushmore of recent TV dramas,
it didn't dominate the pop culture conversation.
So we're here now, Rushmore.
It didn't dominate the conversation.
What, we go sopranos, breaking bad, game of thrones.
It's succession's not on there.
It's the pronos recent.
But if people don't care about it that much, then Dan shouldn't care about spoiling a show
that people don't care about. People much, then Dan shouldn't care about spoiling a show that people don't care about.
People care about it, just not tier one.
It's gotta be where Mike calls the spoiler alert.
Yes, Mike gets it.
What's going to be the side of this?
What's going to be the side of this?
What's going to be the side of this?
Like, it's through my prism, in my prism home.
So we check with you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Check.
It's a gag, or however you say that in Mandarin.
It's a gaggy.
Do you want to try uh... and you know it
and it's very brief that's what i love about the chinese people
they don't take a long time to get to the point
done lebertard
christ what was happening there can you please just explain to me
just give the audience a glimpse into what's happening inside your soul
as your
father is delivering clunker after clunker.
It's just not surprising.
He was texting me last night trying to get lines for it to make it funnier.
And I was just like, I don't know if this one works.
You're not really bringing anything to the conversation.
It's just classic grid code.
Stugats.
Actually, Christopher and I never had that conversation because I did reach out to him and got zero response
That's not true. That's like a chain my text right now. I just
All right show me that text there are the codis time tag team in the show to kill it the codis as the crazy tag team duo the show killers
This is the down lebertar show with this two gods.
We'll get to Ron McGill here in a second.
We're going to do two segments with him
because Dragonfly Jones from Twitter
is doing a beast bracket on his Jenkins and Jones podcast
where he pits animals against each other.
And this is Ron McGill's specialty.
People love asking Ron McGill those questions.
We will get to that in a second as well.
But before we do so,
Stugot once again has taken his rightful space
as the owner of the take sometimes a tie is good.
Sometimes a tie is to be celebrated.
He sees that people are mad at the US women
for settling for a tie that allows them to advance
in the World Cup.
I don't get it.
This wasn't, you know, the elimination stage,
the World Cup stage, this was the group stage
and what they needed to get out of that group
and into the must-win stage is a tie and they got it done.
But they don't look good, Stagotts.
Like, that's not a team that they should be playing to a tie
They are they look like they advanced. That's what they look like. Yes
They were celebrating that they advanced, but more than that
They were celebrating that they avoided what would have been considered the biggest upset in the history of
Women's World Cup. All right, so sometimes you celebrate relief, you celebrate a tie, you celebrate advancing.
That's what they did.
They did every right to celebrate today and no one should be criticizing what that team
in particular has done.
The United States had played 10 previous matches against Portugal on the women's side.
The US had won all 10 by a combined score of 39 to nothing.
They came two inches from being beaten.
And it would have been,
it just, you can't even overemphasize
how big an upset it would have been.
Now, having said that, Portugal's much better.
They were ranked number 21 in the world.
They're not terrible.
And the past four matches versus the US
had been decided by only one goal.
So a close game was not a shock,
but it would have been a stunning upset had the US loss.
And they were cheering in relief that they avoided that.
I'm okay with that.
Like sometimes relief,
most times relief feels fantastic.
And you celebrate relief.
You're mean.
Yeah, you're allowed to be happy that you advance.
Harley Lloyd didn't like it.
No, and the coach of the team
roundly criticized her for saying
that it was insane to question their motivation.
I don't think you want to question the heart
of a team or an effort level
when it comes to the World Cup,
but there's no question right now
that this American team is not playing
like the team that won the past two World Cups.
And if they have the performance against Sweden
that they had earlier this morning,
they're gonna get their ass kicked.
They could lose by multiple goals.
Is it more injury or more the world has caught up
if you had to choose one of the reasons?
Both things.
They are. They are injured.
You could feel certainly a knockout stage level team with the
amount of injuries that they've had. It's unfortunately a huge part of the women's game. The
injuries to their bodies seem to happen more and more devastating and in more devastating
fashion than it does to the men's game. And there's a lot of factors for that biology and
playing surfaces.
It is a team in transition that the old guard is going away.
The names like Rapinoe are still around but not taking an active role.
Alex Morgan, same deal.
This is a new generation of really superlative talent, but the rest of the world is also
caught up.
Title IX gave the United States a huge leg up in the women's game, but a lot of really
big brands, a lot of really huge clubs are pumping resources into women's sides.
Real Madrid just straight up bought an existing team so they could skip starting the infrastructure.
You have Leon, which is a Titan.
Chelsea has arguably the best women's player on the planet in Sam Kerr, Arsenal.
These are huge brands that many male football fans
will just gravitate to that same brand.
And there's actual money being pumped into that.
And people are seeing a sustainable revenue stream
whereas here in the United States,
a professional women's league, it's been a sorted history.
It's been hard to actually sustain it over there.
So the rest of the world is catching up.
I imagine the US's dominance is probably a
tale for Yesteryear and this this world cup is showing henceforth there's going to be a lot more
parody. Coach lot going to hot seat. Oh wow. Yeah. Not even so much for today by the way for what he
did against another one. Did he make subs in last night? You know what? That was the big criticism.
I mean, I requires perspective. Okay. Today it doesn't feel so great. But
when they win the World Cup, they'll look back and say, what a
tie. What requires vision and perspective? Two things I am the
best at. Are you feeling okay? You're cool with this tie. It's a
weird take. It's a good time. There are good ties. No, Chris, you
haven't been paying attention. Stugots has been the world's greatest
advocate for the tie.
In football every year, when there is a tie,
he continues to say, right?
Right, right.
That is.
What, look, see what I'm saying?
He has cornered the market.
He has said the way to my future in this business
is just argue on behalf of the tie more zealously
than everyone else.
Ron, look like someone.
Ron, look like someone for it.
Ron, you look like
your board. You're bored by our show. We're wasting your time. A reminder to the audience to please
support Ron McGill's substantive endowment for the animals. He is a caretaker. He really does good
work taking care of the animals with the money you send him and also buying catlax and nicer clothes. Ron, let's start with Orcas in the Keys. Explain to me what happened there, please.
Why I don't, I think of them as a Pacific Ocean animal, even though I know they're wanders.
Yeah, no, they're pelagic animals. They go through the Pacific and Atlantic and they were
just passing through. I mean, this is not going to be a resident pot of Orcas and the
Keys. They're rarely seen in that area because of course the water is fairly warm,
but you know climate change is causing all kinds of changes in migration routes and travel routes
of different animals. I'm sure these orcas were just traveling through. People got to see them. I
think that's a pretty fantastic opportunity, but don't panic. It's not going to be like, you know,
the next movie, the or is killing people off the keys.
And as you can see, even by people that were there, by the water, they were not being
aggressive towards anybody.
They're just traveling through, going on their way down, you know, they're commonly seen
now up in the Northeastern seaboard, seeing off the coast of New York and New Jersey places
like that.
So it's not a shock to me.
It's uncommon, but not a shock.
So animals do take vacations.
You've mocked me face in the past. It's a nice little trip for them.
There you go.
I am going to panic because I think it's because
they're hunting big sharks that have also made their way down here.
We're seeing a lot more sightings of great white sharks down in the area
and the, and Orcas hunt great white sharks.
So maybe they're chasing the food.
Yeah.
You know, Mike, you, you have a possible point there. I'm not going to negate that at all. I think that's the food. You know, Mike, you have a possible point there.
I'm not going to negate that at all.
I think that's a possibility.
You're in a whale chat.
Again, there's checks and balances for all kinds of animals.
And that's what you're seeing right here.
If they are following bigger prey, and normally they feed on things like seals and sea
lions.
So that's what they're going to find in the Northeast coast, because California down to Pacific
Sea Board.
But they could be adapting.
Say, hey, listen, no, see what I'm saying here, but there's some big sharks.
Let's take care of that.
No, Ron, it can't be both things.
Mike says we have to panic.
You say we don't do it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, out of sharks and what's next? Because that means there's more great white sharks down here in the area when we use some of the kind of thing.
Oh, I guess you should be happy
that they're kind of balancing that population.
And you don't have to worry about that.
No, no, no, no, no, great white sharks, bad, bad, bad.
Don't like them.
Don't like them.
But they're killing them.
I'll tell you this, I was in South Africa
trying to go see great white sharks.
And there was a resident pot of work
as they got into sharks Bay there.
And you know what, there were no great white sharks at all because they got pot of work as they got into sharks Bay there and you know what?
There were no great white sharks at all because they got
out of town.
Okay.
Yeah, so my panic is subsiding because the whales are
scaring off the sharks the way that they did in
Ciel Island.
That's what I'm talking about the balancing thing.
Okay.
Okay, I'm better now.
We get it.
You swim with sharks.
Happy shark week to everyone.
We've got drone video here of a fishing boat off the South Florida coast.
It is getting rammed eight times by a bull shark
and the captain compared it to being shaken, quote,
like a bag of popcorn.
What is happening?
What's happening there?
These, I don't know.
That is again another uncommon behavior.
That's not something I've seen at a bull sharks,
even though bull sharks are aggressive sharks.
It seems like it's going after the engines there.
It's something about the sounds of the engines
or something was getting that shark agitated.
But the bottom line is that's not a common behavior
in sharks.
So again, Dan, just like with people,
you will have an anomaly in animals.
You will have an animal that's totally out of character
with the rest of its species. We humans know we have our fair share of wackos. So that is
something that can occur in the animal kingdom too. I don't want people to look at this incident say,
oh my god, they're going to start attacking all the boats now. You know, probably next week
you'll have more videos of sharks attacking boats and I'll have to eat my words, but the bottom line
is this, that's an anomaly that is not a common thing. Both sharks are an aggressive shark.
They're responsible for a lot of, quote unquote,
attacks what I like to rephrase as encounters with people.
So I don't know.
Ron, here's the headline I never thought I'd read.
Zoo in China denies speculation that its bears
are actually humans in disguise.
Apparently there was a Malaysian bear
that was standing upright with such human-like posture that it fooled people.
And I'm wondering, is it the least bit plausible that you could put a human being in a very realistic
animal costume of any kind for a full day at the zoo and fooled people?
Yes, I think it's very possible. No, I think it's very possible, and I'll tell you why, because especially in this heat
that we're having now, I almost just like to curl up and sleep under a tree.
We could certainly put people in suits just with a bunch of fur on them.
You wouldn't even have to put a face on them, curl them up and sit on the tree, and they're
going to say, oh, there it is.
There's the bear.
There's the lion.
But whatever it is.
They have to move, though.
Like, they have to like along.
Why do I like to see you try this?
No, I would do that.
I have to, right there, it's not real. That is not a real bear. I'm the size of a long walk. I'd like to see you try this. No, I would do that. I have to right there, it's not real.
That is not a real bear.
I'm the size of a small bear.
Let me tell you a quick story.
We worked with the US Drug Enforcement Agency
to actually do a sting operation on a guy
by putting a guy in a gorilla suit.
We put him in page, now I'm not making this up,
this is the truth.
We put him in a gorilla cage
because this guy was trying to buy a gorilla illegally
and he came to one of us at the zoo and we of course notified the authorities.
No, I'm not the man. I said this is good. We put him in the middle of the zoo.
Did he arrest him? Did he think that the guy in the zoo'd arrest him?
He threw him off the head.
What are they?
It's cage. It's like, okay, you're going to buy this gorilla illegally.
We're going to get it. You got to come pick it up in the middle of the night.
We put a bunch of gorilla poop in with this guy.
So it's stumped like a gorilla and everything.
And yes, as soon as the guy came, gave the money exchange to the agent, the guy in the gorilla
suit opened the cage and they arrested the guy.
That's a fact.
It's on the news.
You can check it out.
Google it.
We got that guy.
He thought it was a real gorilla.
He said, yes, great.
Here's the money.
And the guy comes out of the suit and arrests him.
Mike, this is a true story.
It just only happens in my head.
We believe you, Mike.
We believe you, but Mike, question is, did the guy in the gorilla suit make the arrest?
Like, did he cuff?
Did he whip off?
Was he the cop?
Did he cuff him as the gorilla?
No, no, he didn't cuff him as the gorilla.
No, they had other agents there.
All right, Ron, stay right there.
We have more questions for you.
And as I said, this is one of the more popular things
that people like to do with asking Ron all sorts of questions.
Would this animal defeat this other animal in a fight to the death?
So we've got Tyler Perrier, he's Dragonfly Jones on Twitter.
He's going to join us next.
The Beast bracket is something that he's doing on his podcast, which I urge you to listen
to the Jenkins and Jones podcast.
It is very funny and Tyler hustled his way up the ladder, made himself famous because
he was very good at Twitter.
So I'm happy to support the things he's doing.
That's next.
Don Lebertard.
Greg Cody of the Miami Herald, who is a source
of constant frustration and entitlement and narcissism.
This is what he says.
This is either the last back in my day as a regular series
or the first of a new phase in which back in my days
are occasional, not every week.
So he has just announced officially his laziness.
Stoo gots.
I wanna make him an occasional series.
I am once a week.
But no, I think more occasional.
I think every time you don't have a back in my day,
you can't do the show.
I think we should.
Okay, okay, that's fine,
because I have a contract,
so if you wanna pay me for not doing the show.
That's fine, we can pay him for doing nothing.
We already do.
That's a good one. That's a good one.
I got no retort for that.
VCs, they done a laboratory show with this two gods.
Have enjoyed this guy's work for a long time.
Happy to have him on the show.
Dragonfly Jones on Twitter.
I urge you.
The Jenkins and Jones podcast is funny,
it is different than most of what you're hearing out there.
So I urge you to listen, the latest thing they're doing here,
I don't know if it's the first time they've done it
or if they've done it before, the Beast bracket,
thank you Tyler for making the time for us,
explain the Beast bracket so we can get here,
Ron McGill in the mix to give you some definitive expert answers
on what it is
you've got going on.
But a simplest explanation you can give us for the Beast bracket.
All right, I appreciate you having me on first and foremost.
Basically, the Beast bracket is, you know, we're bored to tell there's nothing to talk
about in the summer.
So, you know, I came up with this idea of having, you know, hypothetical animal fights,
right?
Like, I'm not a trailblazing that regard.
Those discussions have been going on forever.
But the rake lie I did here is we were gonna do a tournament
and we were gonna do a catch-weight.
And with the catch-weight is, you know, a thousand pounds,
you know, per animal or per animal combination, right?
Because, you know, all combat sports have weight classes
and I felt like that was a component
that was missing from the very serious scholarly discussion
to fight with ethical animal fights.
Because yeah, you know, Silverback doesn't stand a chance
to one-on-one versus Grizzly,
but if we had say two five hundred pound grizzlies
first three three hundred thirty pound silverbacks, then she gets interesting with that one silverback,
you know, we can help play a free safety. So, you know, that was just, you know, the new
wrinkle we added to a very, you know, ancient debate here.
What are the upsets that you've had so far? What has happened so far in the tournament
worth noting? It's been shocked for the most part.
We've got the Elite 8 is 4-1 seeds, the lowest seed in one of those Elite 8s is the 3-seed,
which is the honey badger.
It's 25, but 40 pounds of them.
There's some controversial decisions.
We had 10 rules advanced past five mountain lions, and I'm not sure if I'm riding with that, you know, for instance, but yeah, not a
lot of upsets, but a few controversial decisions.
All right, Ron, what do you think of his controversy, the one that he just mentioned there?
What do you think would happen there?
Well, you know, the thing is wolves are social animals and they work together as a pack.
So they have an advantage because that's their natural instinct, whereas mountain lions
are solitary atoms. And they don't know how to work together as a
group or a pride or whatever you want to call a group of mountain lions. So I don't
think it's too out of the question to think that 10 wolves may be able to take
five mountain lions. Now having said that, you know, the bite of a wolf is not
as impressive as that of a mountain lion. Of course, mountain lines have those those claws that are an added an added weapon.
But I still I still don't think it's a it's a given that the five mountain lines would
wet. I think the wolves because of their social structure, because of their
intelligence of working as a team have a have an advantage. Tyler, what are some of
your other controversial before we get to to the final matchups here,
what other controversies can be settled by Ron here
that are worth noting?
We had three silverbacks to beat 25 Wolverines
in a runaway, and I do not think that the silverbacks
could pass three silverbacks could pass 25 Wolverines.
Where are you out of that, Ron?
I agree with you there.
I agree with you.
I understand that silverbacks fight to defend.
They don't fight to kill.
They fight to defend, and their power is of course, and that silverbacks fight to defend. They don't fight to kill, they fight to defend,
and their power is of course in their arm strength
and their teeth, but you get Wolverines that are very fast.
It takes one Wolverine that is, is instinctively a killer
to just get into one jugular vein.
If you get 20, the gorilla's gonna bleed out.
The gorilla's gonna, a bite of a Wolverine
can sever the tendon in an arm and a leg
and a hand and in an ankle,
and a kill he's standing,
except the gorilla's incapacitated.
And so once you get the incapacitated,
the animal and all those serious Wolverine bites
take it, in fact, that thing's going to bleed out.
What is the minimum number of Wolverines
that would take out three silver bags?
Oh, jeez, Dan.
I don't know. I would say probably 15.
All right, let's do this, Tyler.
What do you have here? What is your first matchup?
How many matchups are we going through here?
Yeah, we've got the Elite 8 matchup right now.
So in the Steve Irwin region,
we have the one seed bison,
1,000 pound bison, versus the three Irwin region, we have the one seed bison,
one 1,000 pound bison,
versus the three seed honey badger,
which is 25, 40 pound honey badgers.
That's no contest, the bison's dead.
You think so, because the bison's running away
with it in the polls.
Yeah, well, the bison doesn't have a chance
because the bison's only weapon is its head and its horns.
It might be able to do a little kicking,
but that's not gonna be anything.
You got these, man, I have worked with honey badgers in Africa.
I've watched a one honey badger chase away a full-grown lion,
one flippin' honey badger, a lion during it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
There's no contest easiest one I could choose right there.
Boom, honey bad, 25 honey badgers,
the bison is so dead.
I think I'm gonna make some bison burger out of that dude up.
Absolutely. How many run, how many honey badgers would take out a thousand pound
bison it wouldn't take twenty five it would take how many
it would take i would say ten i still feel very safe with ten
hmm well well well while we're here on the bison can you you know give some
insight into how dangerous and deadly an athletic abyssin is a lot of people
scoffed at it being a once in
oh no this it's a very powerful animal. It's a very quick animal. People look at the bison and think,
you know, this is a big bulky animal. It can't be that fast. Oh no, no. They can be very fast.
And they're very powerful. But again, their strict only weapon is their heads. The bison is an herbivore.
It eats grass. The only thing it has in those horns in the heads to fight each other so it can have
a chance to breed the females and get territory.
Wolverine, I mean, honey badgers are killers, man, they kill the eat these things in the
multiplication.
I mean, and the noise they make when honey badgers alone, the noise will disorient the
bison so badly.
You know, I just see that bison has no chance.
No chance.
A honey badger, I have seen honey badgers take out leopards.
It's unbelievable.
How many Chris Codies that take a full grown lion? Wow. A hundred. And you have to sacrifice at least
50. You're going to die in the process. You know, you know, while we're here, we had we had five
200 pound humans who were the number 32 seed in this 32 seed tournament, right? The lowest overall
seed. First round matchup
was against 200, 500 pound tigers.
How many humans would it take to take out
200, 500 pound tigers?
It would take enormous amount, over 50.
And again, in that process, the majority of the humans
are gonna die.
How many still owns?
Tyler, what?
100, tell us how's your next match up, Tyler?
What is your next match up?
Oh, two 500 pound tigers, a verse of 1,000 pound polar bear.
Who comes out of that one?
I'm going to go with the tigers because they're going to be quicker.
Polar bear is an incredibly powerful animal, but does not have the jaw strength of a tiger,
does not have the quickness of the tiger, has claws, but the claws are not as effective
as a tiger.
So, yeah, I'm going to go with the two tigers, definitely.
Okay.
What else you got, Tyler?
We've got, in the DMX region, two 500 pound grizzlies for three, 330 pound silver bags.
The grizzlies, again, the silver bag is not a killer.
It's a fighter, but it's not a killer.
The grizzlies, saying grizzlies, not black bears,
not the other bit, the grizzly bear can be a killer.
I've seen one grizzly bear take down a full grown elk
without a problem, with a full rack.
So the only weapon that the gorilla has are those teeth.
And again, it could give you a pretty good punch.
It's very powerful that way.
But Grizzly's gonna take him out.
Run white.
And so that one silverback, that's playing free safety there.
He doesn't count it all.
He's in constant watching with all this.
Yeah, because again, silverbacks,
gorillas are social animals,
but silverbacks are the peak.
That's not to say that they wouldn't,
you know, and a pinch say,
you know what, we got to help each other out here, brother,
we're no longer just a king.
We got to be two princes here to work this out.
But yeah, Grizzlies are fast.
They're very powerful.
Gotcha.
Okay. And the last Elite 8 matchup in the
Pigeon Man from Hey On Region is 4250 pound lines versus 8125 pound Jaguars. Because I honestly
think a Jaguar isn't that that much of a disadvantage when a won't the Lion Period. Where are you at
with that? No, I don't think so either. I would definitely give the Jaguars the, you know,
when you're going way to way even even i would give them the uh...
that the edge for sure because they are
really one of the not the most powerful cat at least in the western hemisphere
uh... palpipal
there are jobis are unbelievable i watch jaguar jump in the fricking
pontan al and and grab you know
a foot came in out of the water snap their neck
eight uh... peter since r Ron versus four Dan Campbell's who wins.
Who's duck Peterson?
Oh, I'm going to the judge. Tyler Ford.
Oh, I see. I see. Tyler.
I'm going to go with Campbell. I like, I like that guy.
I can't. I think he's good.
Tyler, he's a bad guy.
For the for the uninitiated, Tyler, why is it the DMX region?
We just pick, you know, some, some animals, I've heard some famous animal
loves like Steve Irwin, big boy from outcasts, you know, big boys from Outcasts,
breeds like owls and all types of shit.
DMX, I'd love for pit bulls and the Pigeon Man from Hey Arnold.
What are my favorite cards?
Do you have any other questions for our animal expert
before you tell people why they should be listening
to the Jenkins and Jones podcast?
Okay, so yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and read out the field of eight
and I want Ron's opinion on who he thinks takes it all so
We've got one one thousand pound bison 25
40 pound honey badgers two five hundred pound tigers one one thousand pound polar bear two five hundred pound Grizzlies
3333 pound silverbacks
4250 pound
Lions and 8125 pound jack was who you think comes out of all that?
He's taking the badgers.
He's gonna take the badgers.
Actually, it's toss up between the badgers and the Jaguars.
A man of taste right there.
I think the Jaguars come out of this.
I think that they're the best combination of numbers
and strength and power left.
Yeah, I agree with you.
I agree with you.
It's tough.
It's those honey badgers.
Bro, I mean, I've watched those things in a while.
I've watched them make a full-grown lion just peel over itself, run away in fear. It's
only one one honey badger against a line. It's unbelievable. Especially. You know, well,
why we're here? I feel like there's a big lion propaganda machine here because I've seen a lot
of clips where, you know, this courageous lion is really out there looking cowardly. Like, like,
is it overblown that they're, you know, these brave courageous fearless animals?
Overrated by this. Look at the vision of our, these brave courageous fearless and overrated? I think you're in the vision of
us.
Yes.
Yes.
We overrated when it comes to being this aggressive really.
Actually, the lioness is much more to me dangerous than a lion.
I put it on the poll.
Look at the Wizard of Oz at Levittar show.
Yes.
Is the lion actually cowardly or is the lion overrated is what I should say and tell
them before you get out of here Tyler why the Jenkins and Jones podcast is
something they need to be listening to. Yeah there's no podcast like it's on
the planet I know everybody says that shit but we really are just you know we
have fun with this shit. You can find us on Twitter at Jenkins and Jones as
Jones with the ZFM the pin tweet is the thread of this
actual bracket contest where, you know, we've got the video kind of promulgant getting you
some insight into it. And if you, you know, scroll through it, you see all the matches that
have played out already. Happy to see your success.
I appreciate it. Not a lot of stories like yours. Appreciate it. Thank you for being on with us.
For sure. Appreciate you. I'm happy, man. Thank you all so much.
All right. Thank you, Tyler.
Mike Ryan, you had an objection there to a 25 seed winning that
we can't hype up the bison after we just had it upset in a monumental upset by the honey
badger.
And then you're trying to put the bison over.
I heard what you said just five seconds ago.
Dumb.
Shouldn't be a one seed.
Ron, good seeing you again.
Thank you, sir.
Happy to see your face as always.
Take care.
just five seconds ago.
Dumb.
Yeah, shouldn't be a one seed.
Ron, good seeing you again.
Thank you, sir.
Happy to see your face as always.
Take care.
And we're guys.
Have a good one.