The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Black McAfee Show (feat. David Samson & Jason Goff)

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

The 'bomb-sniffing dog for uninteresting' is here to ruin one of the most incredible things his sport has ever seen before we get to Jackie, the Crochet King, and Charlie's dad. Learn more about your... ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:59 Cuervo The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. queervo. Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
Starting point is 00:01:22 I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan LeBattard Show with Stu Gotz is presented by DraftKings.
Starting point is 00:01:40 DraftKings, the crown is yours. Oh yeah. You can catch Pitch Clock later, Pitch Clock later with Jeremy if you want to, but right now, we got my man, MVP of the last time I did a weak stint down here, David Sampson. What's up David, how are you buddy? I am bursting at the seams right now.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I'm drinking tea because I can't swallow exactly, but I'm watching the stock market plunge. I'm watching tariffs increase. I'm watching companies panic. I'm watching Mike Schur as the baseball expert of Metalark. Are you guys kidding me, Jeremy? Seriously. I do have a question though. So today we start the show with you talking about how
Starting point is 00:02:23 I guess your throat hurts or something. Yesterday you started the show. Do you remember what you said and introducing yourself yesterday? You said something about your bottom being clean. My bottom is fresh. What does that mean? You took a shower? Today's bursting at the seams.
Starting point is 00:02:37 So at the end of, I'll tell you, you know Dominique, I have no secrets from you. I do nothing personal live from eight to 8.50 a.m. and during the course of the show, I build up sweat because I'm sitting and talking. So what I do in between shows is I freshen up. All right, David, so the Dodgers off to an A&O start and Shohei, I hit a walk off last night.
Starting point is 00:03:02 What about the Dodgers is so, yeah, you are so strange. What about the Dodgers has got you fired up right now, buddy? I'm fired up that their fans are so ridiculous that they waited on line for a bobblehead that was being given away to all fans in attendance. What happened there? Follow up question. Why do you have to wait in line? Why do you hate fans?
Starting point is 00:03:22 That's awesome. Like they're excited. They're excited. But do they have that much time on their hands that they're happy to stand in line? You know, listen, if you're the Marlins and you only give away 5,000 bobble heads because that's the most sponsorship you can get
Starting point is 00:03:37 and you know you're gonna have a turnstile of 10,000, that means 5,000 people aren't gonna get it. And here's a funny little side note. We don't actually give away all 5,000 people aren't going to get it. And here's a funny little side note. We don't actually give away all 5,000. We keep a palette for ourselves and our employees and the player and to give away if there's customer complaints, but nobody ever counts that. But if you give to every fan, why wait online? So you're mad that fans are actually coming to the stadium on time.
Starting point is 00:04:03 This is a shock to you. You just can't fathom it. It's amazing. Not they're not on time. They were early. OK, and they were doing it because the Dodgers previously that were not enough photonic bobbleheads for everyone. And the Japanese sponsors said, we don't want unhappy customers. We want to pay for bobbleheads for everyone.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Don't you think it should have been communicated that you don't need to wait online? I think that you, like sometimes something happens and then people have a genuine reaction to the thing that's happening. That reaction could be positive or negative. I believe that you wake up in search of things to be mad about.
Starting point is 00:04:42 They are so good, there's a baseball team that is so good that has a player who's so popular that the fans show up early and wait in line. And somehow I give you an opportunity to talk about how awesome this team is, how they're 8-0 and they could possibly surpass 13-0 for the first time since I guess 2023, which would be incredible.
Starting point is 00:05:04 What does that matter? No, it's a, what do be incredible. What does that matter? No, it's a what do you mean? What does it matter? No, if you're going to talk to Dodgers eight, no, you should be saying to yourself, can they catch Seattle? That's really the intrigue. And the fact is they only have a half game lead on the Padres or that the NL West has only lost three games outside of
Starting point is 00:05:21 the Rockies who don't count. What a tough division. What an exciting division. But how despondent would you be to be eight and oh and only have a half game lead? It really is something. But can a team catch 116 wins when their over under on DraftKings was 103 and a half?
Starting point is 00:05:38 Is there a way to check what the current over under is on DraftKings? Yeah, it's called going to DraftKings for sure. Does the win total change? Obviously when you're eight and oh, I assume the win total for the season changes. I wonder if it's reached 116 yet. But don't you think it's exciting and interesting
Starting point is 00:05:52 to have some sort of chase, something to be excited about? You just said that this team should be despondent. This is a case in point. They're eight and oh, and you said, how despondent would you be? You're the only person on earth, David, who would somehow wake up having never lost a game with your giant star pitcher slash slugger,
Starting point is 00:06:10 hit a walk off home run, first pitch, walked out there, that was some cold shit. And you, somehow, are like, they should be despondent. Despondent, I don't get you, David, man, you just wanna be angry, be happy. I'm not, I mean, I'm not happy with what's going on, I don't get you, David, man. You just want to be angry. Be happy. I mean, I'm not happy with what's going on, but I'm so happy that we can be distracted by doing the show and not watching
Starting point is 00:06:32 what's happening in the markets right now and the reality of really what the tariffs mean to the sports world. It's a big story. And obviously we talk about companies and cars and manufacturers. These tariffs that were imposed actually impact sports and sports teams in ways as well. Like bobbleheads, bobbleheads just got more expensive, I promise you that, because they're
Starting point is 00:06:53 not made in the US of A. What? So, oh no, they are not. They get on big, big ships and they come across the water and then you have to get them through customs and then they're in big pallets that get delivered 50,000 of them to Dodger Stadium the size of those pallets people are it's Incredible when they get delivered and how you have to store them before you give them away And then the forklifts you need to bring them to the different gates. It's a whole thing that happens
Starting point is 00:07:22 He's legitimately excited about this part of it. Not about the Dodger start, but just about the process of the Pallets making their way from Long Beach up to Chavez Ravine. You are like a bomb sniffing dog for uninteresting. I lay out the most interesting possible topic, and you just, let me find the part that can bore them. Let's talk about tariffs and pallets of bobbleheads. So let me reangle.
Starting point is 00:07:48 This is a team that should be despondent, right? Which is the Athletics of God knows what city. They're playing in Sacramento. You're not allowed to say. They're not allowed to say what city. It's just the Athletics, right? No, it's just the Athletics. So the Athletics, who are playing in Sacramento
Starting point is 00:08:02 but are not the Sacramento Athletics, playing in a minor league stadium that seats 14,000. They couldn't even sell that out for opening day. Well, that includes 3000, like standing room down the line. So they did sell out all the actual seats, but because it's a AAA stadium, there's a bunch of places you can go to engage with the game, but not actually have a seat,
Starting point is 00:08:22 which doesn't work well when it's 100 degrees outside in the middle of summer. But I think what the Afts are really despondent about is the fact that will they be in Sacramento three years or four years? What's going on in Vegas? Can they get that ballpark built on time? Budgets now are a nightmare.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Think about this with building new stadiums at the moment, or even refurbishing ones. All the increased expense of metals and materials that flows down to a budget for these new stadiums and arenas and it's going to have quite an impact on pricing and the public doesn't pay the overruns the owners do which is why owners are saying oh I'm not so sure I want to build this ballpark without more public money. But then you're stuck in this weird situation. And I have to imagine that the footprint of that facility, David, does not generate money
Starting point is 00:09:15 in a way that a major league stadium does. Even an outdated major league stadium with the one that they left in Oakland. Are you talking about Sacramento or are you talking about New Vegas? Sacramento, I'm talking about Sacramento. So both. That's the interesting part right now.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Teams are looking to build villages like St. Louis did, like Atlanta did, like we wanted to in Miami and it didn't work. You want to get that ancillary revenue. But don't forget the deal with Vegas is only for nine acres, which by the way, isn't even big enough to have a ballpark. That's right because it's right there in the corner of Tropicana and Los Angeles Boulevard.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Tropicana, it's right down there, there's no room. Yeah, it's small. And so all of the ancillary development goes to the Going Bankrupt Bally's Company, not to John Fisher and the Afts. So the whole deal is problematic in that regard. And for Sacramento, how do you make an investment when you're in a temporary city?
Starting point is 00:10:06 Are you gonna build a village around a AAA park? And then when the village is open and ready for business, you're already gone from Sacramento? That doesn't make sense. So you're just gonna end up with nothing. Okay, I just realized that I too am a bomb sniffing dog for uninteresting topics. I saw everyone check out on this conversation
Starting point is 00:10:23 that me and David are excited to talk about this. I'm like, geez, let's talk about the tariffs again. Where the hell's the ath's? I'll remove myself. All right, all right. And I know what he's talking about, but who says that? Ath's. That's what you have to call them, Chris.
Starting point is 00:10:36 If you look at box scores, well, that's what MLB, MLB sends out a book every year of how teams are referred to, nicknames, a pronunciation guide. And this year we were all told that it's the ATHs. And if you look at box scores, it'll say A-T-H instead of A's or O-A-K or S-A-C. Well, if you want to see the ATHs play or the Marlins or any baseball team, go to Game Time.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Download the Game Time app, create an account, use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase, terms apply, download the Game Time app today, last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. All right, David. Game Time. Thank you, David. You're welcome, Chris.
Starting point is 00:11:20 A couple other topics that I'm gonna throw out to you, I'll give you a choice, and we're gonna do our best to find the interesting in both of these topics So job job Morant's gun gesture and the league is currently investigating that or we could talk about the Saudi Arabian sovereign wealth fund their Involvement or their deeper and deeper involvement in global sports and how we at one point We're all up in arms and were crazy about live golf. And now you look up and they have 340 plus
Starting point is 00:11:49 global sponsorships. They're going to be hosting the World Cup in 2034. And it seems like they're going to start entering more where they've been in soccer teams in Europe and they're gonna start entering the NFL through private equity funds and other sports in America. So those are your choices. Let's find the interesting David. You can't call it launch sports laundering anymore. Can you? It's just sort of normal. Saudi Arabia won. They tried to make it so that the conversation was not about the way
Starting point is 00:12:19 they treat people and the human misogyny and death and murder. So instead they just keep investing money and then it becomes normal. And they knew it and we fell right into it. And the live golf is such a great example. When live golf started, Greg Norman was the CEO. It was going to be this behemoth. They signed all these players, gave them all this guaranteed money. And now Brooks Capca comes out and says, man, I thought we'd be further along. I thought this would be better. And then the new CEO comes out and says, man, I thought we'd be further along.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I thought this would be better. And then the new CEO comes out and says, I don't know what anyone's talking about. We're doing great. We don't need the PGA because we've got Saudi money and we've got the world. We don't have the US, but the US, that's like FIFA saying, man, I wish the US were better.
Starting point is 00:13:02 They don't really need it. But no one's watching it though. Like it feels like just because they have the Saudi, Saudi backed money, it has not necessarily been a success. And it's an odd situation where it also at one point is not, doesn't feel like a success, but also the people who stood up against it don't feel like they are benefiting.
Starting point is 00:13:20 It's weird in that I like Rory McIlroy doesn't feel like the champion that we thought he was going to be when he decided not to do it. And the golfers who went along with them seem to be surviving just fine. There's no backlash from it. It's weird to think that if you think of it in three different parties as the group that wanted them out in players, the group that wanted to be with them and live themselves,
Starting point is 00:13:42 feels like the only group that's actually succeeding is the guys who we kind of characterize as selling out a bit and like helping the sports washing. Right? I think it's even beyond that. Bryson DeChambeau, you could argue, is now the most popular golfer in the world, period. And there's rumors that he would even leave, live,
Starting point is 00:14:00 and go back because he's basically made a pot from it. His public perception, he had zero social cost. He had a social benefit from reinventing himself on YouTube and not being on the PGA tour every week. And I think you have to realize Dominique that that was a pretty nationalistic point of view because Liv would tell you there's a lot of people watching Liv. They're just not in the US, but they have major broadcast deals around the world. Yeah, it's bad time in the US when you're in Australia or when you're in Singapore, but not when you're in Australia and Singapore.
Starting point is 00:14:30 So I think that when they look at their media revenue, their non-US revenue, it's damn good. Yeah, well, I'm giving an American point of view because last time I checked, I mean, I don't know this might change. I'm American, I'm in America. This is what I care about. We are bringing in Jason Goff to support me now
Starting point is 00:14:49 because we had to kick Amin out because he was siding with David on these boring topics. But, I wanna explore David's damp bottom some more. I probably shouldn't have said that sentence at the beginning of the introduction today. Internet lives forever. Exactly. Clip it.
Starting point is 00:15:09 So David, I do have a question about how you or the league would handle this jammer rant gun gesture thing. It's like, I understand how important it all is, or how important the way that the league presents itself is. But it does feel odd. I don't know if odd is the right word that we're calling this an investigation. Like, what are we doing? It's either get a man to find or move on.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Like, I don't, I don't quite understand it. Yeah. I want to be careful here and I want to get this right. Is that so, and this is, I'm happy to admit what I am, which is middle age and white. Is what he did an expression that is commonly associated with guns or is it a celebratory thing that you do when you score or do something right that's actually not sort of a gun salute type thing?
Starting point is 00:15:56 I don't know the answer and I assume that's what the investigation is and are other players doing it too. Well, you know, we're old, David, and all three of us, Dominique. So what we see now more so is when people are taking pictures, young people, especially some of them like to make the handgun gesture and, you know, let you know that, you know, I keep it loaded, even though no one is shooting anyone with handgun gestures. I don't. The problem
Starting point is 00:16:24 I have with it is who has John Marant seen this work for? Right? Like after a while you gotta study the behavior and think oh, I've seen this work for Jordan, I've seen this work for LeBron, and even if you don't wanna be those people. Look at Isaiah Ryder's career,
Starting point is 00:16:41 like look at certain careers where you're like maybe I wanna stay away from this. And if his goal is to make as little money off the court as possible, then knock yourself out, player. But I don't get it. I got an eight year old son. I try to teach him certain things. I'm sure John Moran's dad has tried
Starting point is 00:16:58 to teach him certain things. But once a guy gets this position and has been emboldened by as much money and also the talent that he carries and the impact that he has on that city, you just got to hope he grows out of certain things. But the gun gesture thing, I remember when Chris Weber was doing the throat slash and people were upset with that.
Starting point is 00:17:16 So I don't know how this is ever going to work out in his favor except for the people who are telling him it looks cool on the outside. The funny thing is, I'm hesitant, obviously, there's plenty of people to talk about how ridiculous it is. It does clearly seem like it's like assault rifle gun gesture. I don't think, I understand, I appreciate, David, you acknowledging that you may not be sure,
Starting point is 00:17:37 but it feels like it falls specifically in that category. But I also think about Jamerant, and I think Zion falls in this category also, and Anthony Edwards falls in this category. But I also think about Jamerant and I think Zion falls in this category also and Anthony Edwards falls in this category. I complain often about the early professionalization of youth sports and how we get kind of all these athletes who are trained to be boring, robots and uninteresting and they play that way and they play that way, and they act that way, and John Morant's not one of those guys. And so I appreciate that John Morant skyrocketed in his popularity because of the way they played, and not because of the gun stuff,
Starting point is 00:18:14 but because he was interesting. And I like that, but sometimes what comes along with that is he hasn't been polished. He's a rougher rock that hasn't been through this AAU, this Nike circuit that 12-year-old, talented basketball players have gone through, which is how you end up with a player like Jason Tatum, who plays incredibly well and says nothing that I care about.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Yeah, but there's people who have come from rough backgrounds who get out of that and then realize, you know what, not only do I not want to go back, I don't want to even, like for instance, Isaiah Thomas, you know where Isaiah not only do I not wanna go back, I don't wanna even, like for instance, Isaiah Thomas, you know where Isaiah Thomas is from? Absolutely. Exactly. And Isaiah Thomas.
Starting point is 00:18:50 The original. For whatever, yeah, the original Isaiah Thomas. For whatever reason, you make it to Detroit, you make it to the University of Indiana, and you say, you know what, this is what I'm going to focus on, basketball is key, and then you run into the bad boy image and all this other stuff, but at some point, you you know like with Lamello Ball like John Morant like
Starting point is 00:19:09 Zion Williamson extremely gifted talented dudes but at what point do you say to yourself this is hindering the progress of whatever I'm trying to accomplish because you know in the end you can't you can't have it as a league there's certain things you just can't have. And on top of it, especially in this league, where the little hint of violence might, you know, might sway certain people who have marketing dollars. So who's in Jaws' ear, would you say?
Starting point is 00:19:37 Is it his agent, his parents, his sponsors, his friends, his family? And the question is, are they in his ear from a business standpoint saying, hey, be you, be unapologetically you, it's not gonna cost you a dollar. Or are they saying, listen here, you have an opportunity to really have a problem
Starting point is 00:19:58 because he already lost out on the full max deal that he could get because of the issues he had. So is someone actually helping him? That's what the agent is supposed to be for. I'm not sure that anyone's in his ear at this point. Like he's, it feels like the people believe that he ran the coach out. Like he has all the power that he needs
Starting point is 00:20:15 in an organization right now. And I think that to push back on something that you said a little bit ago, I don't even necessarily think that it has to do with where the player came from as much as these things are kind of pop culture things that are gestures. You'll see guys hit a three and shoot the three guns where it doesn't matter where they come from.
Starting point is 00:20:36 I think that that's the question and how close the NBA wants to be aligned to those things. Obviously they don't. Whether they want to be- Well, they don't want the players to be aligned with it, but obviously where people that invest in the NBA put their money seems to not really matter what they support. Absolutely. So yeah, I guess I don't know,
Starting point is 00:20:55 the thing that jumped out to me about this is that they're doing an investigation. I don't think you need an investigation. What's the fine for doing gun gestures? Get that man to fine. Unless you plan on suspending him because of his history, this feels odd to me. I think this was also something that came up
Starting point is 00:21:07 at the NFL meetings this week in regards to gun gestures, celebrations and things like that. It's something that got flagged a lot last year in college football and in the NFL and something that all of the leagues seem that they're trying to crack down on right now. So it's not just happening with John and the NBA. Well, when 75% of the participants
Starting point is 00:21:24 are playing Call of Duty, especially on a day like today when we're dance Mac has dropped back in our lives. I mean, there's a relationship that is weird there where, you know, you remember when Kobe was a part of the Call of Duty commercials back in the day? Like there's this, hey, this is the culture. This is what we breed in this country
Starting point is 00:21:44 in terms of loving guns and making sure that your rights aren't being infringed upon. There's this, hey, this is the culture, this is what we breed in this country in terms of loving guns and making sure that your rights aren't being infringed upon. Just don't do it where a little white kid sitting courtside might be influenced by. You know what I mean? I can't wait to the game tonight because Ja's in town, we should get tickets.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Go see Ja and play the Heat, right? Yeah, with Kyle Anderson, who's plus 47 over his last four games. There we go. Dominique, go on game time. Can you say that again for me? Go on game time. You can get tickets right now.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Ooh, that's urban Samson right there. I like it, I like it. Oh my gosh. All right, David, before I let you go, is there anything you want us to know before you go? You wanna throw out a plug for your show? Tell us how clean or dirty your bottom is, whatever the things are that you like to say.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Well, I've got a good schvitz going because I'm drinking tea right now. So it will require a post-show cleanse. But I will say that I appreciate you helping and having me and paying attention to nothing personal, but I leave you with this. Okay, leave it. Dodgers are eight, no. the Braves are O and seven.
Starting point is 00:22:48 The likelihood that either one of them will win or lose 116 games continues to be low, low like likely never to happen. Therefore, when you're feeling so good about something and conversely, you're feeling so bad about something, just know that feeling is what gives you the frame of reference when things get better. Worries to live on. I love it. See you David.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Way to go David. I'm not, hey, I needed that this morning. Did you? 100%. I did. I needed it. I didn't quite get it. Like what I was trying to do was like, let's get excited and David was like, hey, you know what? Don't be happy. Don't be happy. It's dark out there. What I need, like if I were. Time for a passage from David's Red Book. I was saying, like, look, I'm not a big baseball guy,
Starting point is 00:23:35 but Shohei got my attention. Of course. The Dodgers may be chasing 116. That'll get my attention. I care about it. The guy who we bring on this show who's supposed to be the big baseball guy is like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:23:47 That's never going to happen. They're not going to win the 116 games. And they lined up for the show. Hey, bobbleheads, what trash is it? That's not what I was looking for. He's a realist. You want pie in the sky. You want all things, you know, seashells and balloons.
Starting point is 00:24:02 It's not like that. And the moment that you get out of that world and get back into the reality of David Sampson and the great people here at the Dan LeBattard show. You're such a sweetheart, man. I'm just being honest with you. I said, we're looking at the greatest team of all time. We're not, though. And he said, don't get too happy.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Calm yourself down. We quite possibly are. He tried to let you know you don't know this sport the way he does. We quite possibly are. He ushered you in, you know, he is your baseball shirt for taking you to that mountaintop and you're flailing wanting, you know, bobbleheads and toys and all the, all the, you know, the accoutrement. That's not what it goes for. I like accoutrement. Sometimes. Hey friends, it's Jerr Bear here and I'm here to tell you all about Boost
Starting point is 00:24:40 Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice. Because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously. Visit BoostMobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population 5g speeds not available in all areas. Weather is starting to warm up, regular season starting to
Starting point is 00:25:34 wind down, games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up. I know what you're going to need by your side. It's by my side already. Miller Lite. Yeah, that's right. I'm making my springtime a Miller time. I'm making my sports time Miller time. Going to a car race, Miller time. Gonna see some tennis, Miller time. Gonna chill in the backyard with some friends and make some memories, Miller time. I love Miller Lite because it's got taste that I know I can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. It's that simple folks, it's just a great beer for people who like beer. Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than the other light beers. It's got simple ingredients and at just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs
Starting point is 00:26:15 per 12 ounces, Miller time is always a good time. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one. Miller Lite, Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Hey audience, you know, it's that time of year where everyone is debating who the number one pick is going to be. Well, let me tell you something that is undebatable. Who the world's number one vodka is.
Starting point is 00:26:56 That is Smirnoff. And as fun as it is to debate whether or not the team with the number one pick goes pass rusher, wide receiver, quarterback. One thing that we all know is we're going with Smirnoff as our number one Vodka pick. Isn't that right, Dano? Smirnoff rules! Smirnoff rules! So while you're over there hosting your draft parties, you know one thing in particular you need. Well, there's two things that you absolutely need. The draft on TV, that's a must. But number two, what is it Dano? Smirnoff! Do you like Dano? Support the
Starting point is 00:27:25 people who support us. Smirnoff supports us. I like Smirnoff. I don't like Dano. And thanks to Smirnoff, God Bless Football is doing their first ever watch-along live stream in front of a live audience in Nashville, Tennessee. Join God Bless Football during round one of the draft on the Levitard Show YouTube channel on April 24th. More details to come. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff, number 21 vodka, distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smirnoff company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Woohoo!
Starting point is 00:27:56 Don Levitard. Go pee pee. Stugats. Go pee pee. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugots. Go peepee. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugots. Now that you're here and Amin's gone, he tried to roast. Show's a lot more handsome. It is, it dude. It got handsomer. A lot more handsome. It got handsomer.
Starting point is 00:28:16 We have to have, BMI has changed on the show a little bit, but show's a lot more handsome. We gotta get Amin in here with you and Roy. We gotta set a new record. Yesterday we set the record. We had an all black main room. Roy missed the blackest show in show history. But Roy wasn't here.
Starting point is 00:28:33 I'm here now. He gave you a little something in the end there too. A little baritone. I'm gonna base my voice on the chest. The first episode of the Black McAfee show here. Who's gonna wear the tent top? I'm in now. Oh man, I volunteer. Let's pull off a mullet.
Starting point is 00:28:51 You can pull off a mullet, Roy. I'm in. I've been following Roy forever. I guess I'll leave. No, no, no, no. We need you, Jess. No, no, no, no. You make things, you know, palatable.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Oh yeah, balanced for sure. I actually looked up yesterday, we were talking about Denny's because you and I both had not been to many Denny's. No Denny's in the city of Chicago, but a few in Chicagoland, you were right. Well, you know, I try to stay away from the suburbs. I try to, I try to, you know. I'm a little- I've never had a moon's over my hammy.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Well, Cody mentioned it and I was like, uh-oh, there's another thing on this show that I don't know the reference to. Damn good sandwich. It's just a ham sandwich? It's like an egg and cheese and ham. It's like their version of a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich. I can go to anywhere in Pilsen.
Starting point is 00:29:35 I can go to anywhere in Humboldt Park, the areas that are close to me, and get an actual one with more quality control than Denny's. Shout out to Denny's. I don't know if they're a sponsor, so I don't wanna go first. Man, this is a two Americas thing. I thought everyone knew about the moons over Miami. I've never heard of it.
Starting point is 00:29:52 This is crazy. So is Denny's like an after party kind of vibe? Denny's is like 2 a.m. back in the day. Oh yeah, we got greasy spoons, you know what I mean? And you can't shot at Denny's. I'd like to go somewhere where there's a little bit of danger. I would go to IHOP, but at Denny's. I like to go somewhere where there's a little bit of danger. You know what I mean? I would go to IHOP, but not Denny's.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Yeah, IHOP, yeah. Yeah, I have been to IHOP. Last time I was at IHOP, I was a kid, and then we dined and ditched, unfortunately. Ooh. Yeah, which is always the uncomfortable, like, who's gonna be the last person at the seat, kind of vibe.
Starting point is 00:30:19 I think enough times passed, I think you're good. Yeah, you know, statute of limitations, you know. You know, IHOP put pancake batter in their omelets to make them like fluffier. You know, Jess, you know, this is the Oracle. Like there's information that I get from Jess that I didn't know I needed, you know. Cody, Jess, you know, you got Bam out of biostats
Starting point is 00:30:42 back there for Jereb, you know. What's my name? You don't need to don't you just said it You tried real hard tried real hard. You were just hesitating That pause was the same as a security pause was the same When people read me right they read me right? I got it. It's all right So what I usually do was so smooth on everything else and I knew it that has a table What I usually try not to say drinker
Starting point is 00:31:03 I try to whisper the words that I don't know or don't know how to pronounce or names that I don't know my guys My go a bam bam out of bio. Yeah, I was gonna Jackie. I was gonna real small. You know what I mean? You look like a Jackie you give Jackie. Yeah Yeah, you go outside. Hey, that's my man Jackie. That's fly No, it's a fly name. I'll take Jackie. It looks like he's always got some mid on him. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm down.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Jackie with the mid. Jackie with the mid. Yeah. You look like Jackie with the mid. He's got his nice over shirt on. You know what I mean? I like the bod. He's a Shacket Bro.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Yeah, for sure. Shacket Bro for sure. Oh, that's what it's called. I thought it was an over shirt. No, it's a Shacket. See? Jess, where were you when I needed your guidance just now? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:31:43 I was gonna say, Jeremy's thing now is that Dan started to rebrand thing? Jeremy who's that Jackie with the mid this Jeremy? Jackie Jackie so Dan like rebranded himself maybe like a year ago and started wearing over shirt more like this What I will and now they dress like I definitely stole your style And thing to a lot of olive green But I have to I have to approve the new dance style cuz I mean if you're copying Jeremy you're doing All right, Jeremy dresses well for around here like for around here. No, that's The bars low but I'll take it means oh, I don't need to hide it means exactly what it what I said it was Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Y'all around here. Yeah, y'all dress like 90s cartoon characters. It's like a kid, like we had recess. Everybody dressed like they had recess. Hey Arnold. Yeah, that's it. Y'all dressed like a bunch of Hey Arnolds, which is fine. It's true, they have like uniforms.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Like Chris wears the same shorts and the same shirt seven shirts. Every single day. Yeah, and I think we're gonna stumble on an HR problem. We don't have that, don't worry. Jess coming here looking wet, looking nice, like a million bucks. Good catch there, Dominique. Yeah that was kind of like the Jeremy name just now. I was gonna say fly but then I was like, I just wanna say nice,
Starting point is 00:33:05 some professors went like she's going to work. There's different pressure on women than there are on men. In front of a camera, behind a microphone. I saw you guys getting touched up with makeup. I didn't know that. I come in here with wearin' on my stress. I've gone a long way. The first time I came down here,
Starting point is 00:33:22 the lighting in this room wasn't for us. Still not for us. However. What is it, interrogation lighting? What do you mean by that? They didn't need, it wasn't as bright. And so then I- What's the opposite of that?
Starting point is 00:33:35 Yeah, then I sat down and it was like, hey. There was a sexier vibe in here? It was like low? No, it was Dan and Stu. So their skin- So there was a sexier vibe in here? If you turn, absolutely not. So if you turn the light up too high,
Starting point is 00:33:48 their skin doesn't look great. So then I come sit down and I'm like, this just eyes and teeth, what y'all doing? Give me some, give your man some light. Yeah, the lighting was bad, but so I'm sorry that I didn't get you on the makeup, but at least I got your proper lighting. Speaking of attire though.
Starting point is 00:34:04 What? What? Are you gonna come after my shirt? I'm not coming after your shirt. Okay, okay. I found that every shirt that I've worn over the last couple of days has gotten, you know, some kind of either a claim.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Commentary? Yeah, exactly, commentary. They all look great, but you got a vibe. You're the crochet king. You are the crochet king of Miami. Every shirt you worn down here is hand-knit. But Dominique, when you live in Chicago, when you live in Chicago, you have a week in Miami.
Starting point is 00:34:32 You're bringing every button down crochet, short sleeve shirt you own. Jess, I got two outfit changes for every day down here. I feel, I understand you. You know what I'm saying? I'm not gonna come and hang out with you. He hasn't seen the sun in six months, Dominique, months Dominique. Exactly and that's just cuz I was locked up That's the only reason no, thank you Jess. Can I have Jess be with me wherever I go?
Starting point is 00:34:55 For sure. I'll leave tomorrow morning Jess come on. I bet that those crochet shirts in the back of your closet got shocked They're like oh, what are you doing? Unhand me, sir. So I will be honest with you, they still had the cleaner's tags on. I clean them at the end of the summer, I put them up, I put them in the Ziploc bags, storage or whatever, and then I just, hey, I'm going down to Miami to hang out with the peeps.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I can't come down here in my down coat, in my Canada Goose Expedition, like 30 pound sleeping bag that I have to wear every single day while I'm up in Chicago. No, it was 36 degrees when I left home. You didn't want to come to work in an athletic shirt and a baseball hat? That wasn't what you wanted to do? What's up? Right now, that's probably not where I'm at in life, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:35:44 I didn't work hard. My parents didn't come to this country to see me, you know, dress like a high school basketball manager. Baseball coach, okay? High school baseball coach. That's what he's going for. I'm not talking about Cody. Dominique, throw a lot of shade
Starting point is 00:35:59 for plain shirt guy and shorts. I was gonna say. Oh, these aren't shorts, baby. These are pants. There's a lot of jealous here. Dominique did not pack his own suitcase. Ah, of course not. And- Oh, you packed it for him, Charlie?
Starting point is 00:36:09 No, I think he wants a little bit more credit. Charlie want that credit, right? Yeah, he does. Like, hey, damn it, enough now. I picked out good outfits for him. He looks good. Roy. He turns him around as soon as he walks out the hotel room.
Starting point is 00:36:22 No, no, no, back in with that. It's a totally normal outfit, find a new slant. We're going to the beach, where are your trunks? We've come a long way with Charlie's attire, because Charlie, when he first became the co-host of my show, he was just the producer at first and then became the co-host. And he kept dressing like a producer.
Starting point is 00:36:41 And I was like, show the audience some respect. Show the audience some respect. Collars are for dogs. He would say things like collars are for dogs. I have something like, well not similar to that but something that I tell my son like belts are for winners. There we go. Because you see people who walk around without belts.
Starting point is 00:36:58 I'm like we're not having that. We're not having that. Put on a belt or get fat enough that your clothes sit on your hips the way mine do. I don't have to bring a belt, you know what I mean? I've never, that Belt is for Winners reminded me, like I've never met Charlie's dad, but I love him. Cause he tells me the things that his dad says. What was the thing about the marathon runner
Starting point is 00:37:19 that your dad uses all the time? You can always pick up the pace. The story of Bill Rogers in the 1980 Boston Marathon where he ran the last five miles at 430 pace. Anytime I'm dragging ass, Bill Rogers, you can always pick up the pace, he's just yelled at me. That's awesome, man. Nothing like a dad not allowing for vulnerability and comfort.
Starting point is 00:37:35 That's how we forge good men in this world. Let me tell you this other thing, and Charlie's dad might be mad at me even though I haven't met him, that Charlie told me that I can't let go of it. Makes me so happy. Charlie, could you please, I'm going to tell it wrong. So please tell the story. You're booting a few ground balls.
Starting point is 00:37:50 So first of all, Charlie's dad was a good athlete. And I'm not. Charlie's older brother is a college tennis player. Like, they're a family of pretty good athletes. And Charlie's a younger brother. And Charlie's playing baseball. And his dad says this. Just booting a few ground balls.
Starting point is 00:38:04 He just discussed, be an athlete one time. Oh, damn, man. Oh my god. Did you hear the trauma? It stuck with you. Meanwhile, Chris's dad is like, hee haw three. Ba-dap.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Hey, that's a lot better than missing, well, actually making a layup on your own basket and your father walking out of it. Oh. Yeah, my dad came to one game when I was in junior high and I was so excited and I wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the court. I'm like, why is no one guarding me?
Starting point is 00:38:39 I laid the basketball up and all of a sudden, everyone exploded and I just saw my father get up and walk out the door. I love dad trauma talk. Oh yeah, it makes us the men that we are. You know, it makes us overcompensate in our parenting. It helps us cry alone. I have to add something to this
Starting point is 00:38:57 because I feel left out. But at my... Yeah, dad trauma, let's go around the room. The first thing that came to my mind was probably the opposite way. So I'm 10 years old, I think, playing Pop Warner football. And I come to the sideline, or not to the sideline, after the game, we're riding home, and my dad's like, that one play, I thought you could have cut back that way.
Starting point is 00:39:18 And I looked at my dad and was like, you're not out there. And my dad, heart and gets back to that story all the time and it was like, that was the last time I tried to give you any advice on football. He was like, I- It seems like it was the last time you needed it. It's nothing like when the 10 year old runs the house now, by the way.
Starting point is 00:39:37 That garbage not gonna take itself out. I did not run the house at any point, but I was the best player on the team. I think I had three touchdowns in that game alone, and I got in the car, and he was like, but that one play, you should've looked back inside. You're not out there, dad. You were like the football player that was so good,
Starting point is 00:39:56 you had to play like running back, wide receiver, corner, quarterback. He told us he played nose guard last night. I only played nose guard for one game, and they never put me back at it. They got like eight sets. So when you play like pop one in football, there's weight ranges, I only played nose guard for one game and they never put me back at it. So when you play like pop one in football there's weight ranges and so like obviously if you're the same weight as me I'm gonna be a better athlete.
Starting point is 00:40:13 They put me at nose guard and the other team couldn't get a playoff because it's like what are you gonna do? Dominique the diva was born in that car. It was not. That didn't happen until I got back from my first time home after college and being in a real weight program. And my dad was like, you got a little weight. You think you something, huh? Little weight?
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah. We had to get the wall replasted because I picked his little ass up and put him into the wall. We were getting to the domestic. No, it was like playful. It was playful wrestling. It was playful driving into the wall.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Yeah, super playful. It was. Sometimes you just gotta power bomb your dad. Y'all never wrestled before? I loved my dad. It was playful wrestling. It was playful driving into the wall. Yeah, super playful. It was. Sometimes you just gotta power bomb your dad. Y'all never wrestled before? I loved my daddy, it was great. He took it well too. So you have mom trauma then. You could have made that cut though.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Same, honestly. Hey, hey, Chris. I agree. You weren't out there, man. You wasn't out there. Northwood Rams was fast. Chris's trauma is he saw his dad's feet one time. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:03 That toenail. That's always awful. Sticks with me. Awful situation. They were a feeder. What is it with dads not wanting to ever take care of their feet? It's wild.
Starting point is 00:41:10 It's wild. You tell us. Ever. Let's ask the dads in the room. I get pedicures every 10 days or so. It has inspired me to, every 10 days is not. You're an inspiration.
Starting point is 00:41:21 I do like, every couple months, but it's because I'm like, I am not gonna let my feet get to that. Yeah, yeah. I think, so I remember my dad would say, anytime we make fun of his feet, it's working man's feet. It's a ego masculinity thing.
Starting point is 00:41:35 How many times you get a pedicure a week, Jackie? Two, three times a week? Yeah, it's like every other day. Chris is out here trying to break the cycle. He's like, I'm not gonna have my dad's toenails. I'm not gonna do it. Hey man, stick to what you believe in. I don't see anything wrong with it.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Oh, there it is. God damn it, is that a troll? What is that? That's funny. That's a human foot, actually. I don't believe this. Get it off the screen. It's a velociraptor.
Starting point is 00:41:59 It's a Lord of the Rings character. Yes. It's like in Jurassic Park, the nail that's like clapping on the floor. You see the water trembling. Get it off the screen! He's deep frying a turkey there. My god. Deep frying his ankle is what he's
Starting point is 00:42:14 doing. That foot can not be connected. Good veins though. Solid vein. Good vein. Yeah. If he's ever got problems, you know, getting an IV, you can go right to the feet right there. Yeah. If you show me that picture, you know, getting an IV, you can go right to the feet right there. Strong veins in there. Yeah. If you show me that picture, I would not say Greg.
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