The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Dumbest Way to Bleed
Episode Date: May 17, 2024We continue to provide updates on the evolving situation with Scottie Scheffler as the memes are flowing through. Then, how does the crew feel about a potential matchup with Jessica's New York Rangers...? Plus, Harrison Butker, the Dublin portal, Dabo Swinney, and the most important game in the history of the University of Miami football program. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? A podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're
just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face and the habitual liar. Caught our breath to update ourselves on some
memes and some breaking news. Jess, you've been on the MacBook the entire time
seeing all this news roll in. What's the latest? Well, according to Mark Shlaibov
from ESPN, Scheffler faces charges of second degree assault
of a police officer, third degree criminal mischief,
reckless driving and disregarding traffic signals
from an officer directing traffic.
The assault charge is a felony,
the others are misdemeanors,
and he was released at 8.40 a.m. Eastern
and headed to Valhalla.
He arrived less than an hour
before he was scheduled to tee off at 10.08 a.m. Eastern.
So his tee time, if you are watching this live,
is in about 20 minutes.
I gotta tell ya, this is generally my experience.
I'm not arrested, but in terms of like a mad dash
to the course to make my tee time,
this is pretty on brand for just having a kid
and trying to get away for a couple of holes.
Probably forgot his golf shoes, had to go back.
Had to go back, yeah, but outside of the arrest, this is-
Are you playing golf today, Chris? I'm sorry, you are But outside of the arrest, this is- Are you playing golf today, Chris?
I'm sorry.
You are in the golfiest outfit.
I am playing golf today.
OK.
Thank you.
I want to turn my attention real quick back
to this Panther Bruins series a little bit,
because I was alerted to a clip that-
It's glorious.
All right, so explain to me what's
going to happen in this clip.
So it's Bill Simmons.
And he's a Bruins fan, so he's gonna go after Florida fans here.
So he's just kind of trolling South Florida fans.
And if you know, should we say on the front end
where South, where we play?
No, no, no.
Okay. No, no, no.
So he's talking about South Florida fans
and he's trolling us about our lack of hockey knowledge.
Florida fans, settle down.
You didn't know what hockey was until like 1993.
You literally didn't have hockey. You've never won a cup.
The average person who follows sports has no idea what city you're attached to.
You're the Florida Panthers. Are you in Jacksonville? Are you in Orlando?
Are you in Palm Beach? Nobody knows.
The answer is Miami. But literally most people don't know that.
Bill?
His performance are right there.
I mean, does he know? Is he trolling?
Keeper of the Cup, Bill Simmons. Thank you for explaining hockey to me.
No, they play in Sunrise, which is in Broward County.
It's Miami, by the way.
It's a good 45 minute drive away from me and Miami Dade County.
Like, is he trolling us and we're falling for it?
Absolutely not.
No, see, at the turn of the century, they actually moved out of the Miami Arena.
Celine Dion, Chris in the National Car Rental Center,
and they've been playing there for the vast majority
of their franchise's history.
In fact, they play so far away from Miami
that if the Rangers and the Panthers do face off
in the Eastern Conference Finals,
I will be more likely to attend a game at MSG
than drive to sunrise.
Okay, New England Patriots, what the fuck is New England?
Yeah, okay.
I was like, it's Maine, by the way.
And Jess, you didn't have to say it.
We know that you're going to go to Madison Square Garden
for this series.
Foxboro, get out of here.
We know that this is turning into a New York trip.
New York.
Lehman's a big Rangers guy?
Oh yeah.
Oh my, Andy's a Knicks guy.
It's been a big month for us.
We have been locked in to all of my fake favorite teams.
So you're not gonna back the Panthers here.
We thought we had you.
I know you're a Blackhawks gal.
If they play the Bruins, I'm pro Panthers
and I will be on the victory parade
if they win the Stanley Cup, mark my words.
All right, but if they go through the Rangers.
I will be on that fan line.
I mean, I love that you're supporting Lehman in this way
and that you're gonna fake being a Rangers fan
and it's gonna be terrible if we have to go through you,
really it is, but I have no doubt
that you'll find yourself on that.
It'd probably be on the river, right?
It'd be a Los Olas river type of parade.
The Anticonsel.
Look at us, planning a parade already.
I wanna be on there too.
It's gonna be like where they did all the All-Star stuff.
They're gonna set up a big,
I'm on the planning committee, I'm getting involved.
It's weird that they would do it in Broward County
considering the team plays in Miami, Florida by the way.
But yeah, I really-
Just chef's kiss that sound.
I really, I understand and I would do this.
But don't be condescending if you don't know where we play.
Why'd you bring up that specific point?
No one's asking about where we specifically play.
You decided to bring that part up.
I understand.
Foxboro. We're the ugly stepchild of hockey.
It's been this way for us since 1942.
We're the new guy.
Since 1942 as an original seven franchise,
we've always kind of been considered, you know,
not good enough, not elite enough
to be considered in that group.
And I gotta say, the national media coverage of this,
and I understand a lot of their points,
Florida Panthers fans are a little annoyed.
Like anybody scratching to win their first cup,
trying to be recognized by the national media elite,
trying to be something more than a novelty.
And we're actually good this year, so we're cocky.
Earn respect.
I understand where it all comes from, and we play the part.
We're agitators, and we kind of take on that team identity,
but I do think that there is a lot of both going on right now.
The coverage of the Florida Panthers is pretty asinine,
and that is just a chef's kiss encapsulation
of how dismissive people are.
It's Miami, by the way.
It's Miami, by the way.
Hopefully we can dispatch the Boston Bruins tonight,
but if it's not tonight
Breathe so the New York Rangers not that look not that
Series prices are any indication on how these things go. It's hockey, you know biscuit takes weird bounces and deflections
But Florida is entering tonight
minus 750 to win this series
is entering tonight, minus 750 to win this series.
They have two opportunities to do so. If they fail the night, I understand.
You start seeing ghosts.
Are we gonna blow a 3-1 after Boston blew a 3-1?
I just hang my hat on Florida's quality.
There is a talent gap here, man.
Couldn't they have said that last year?
Exactly the same approach, more likely than not.
Because of the season they had last year.
I think Boston was a bit more talented than they were last,
than they certainly are this year,
because they had guys like Cricci and Bergeron.
And defensively, we hadn't come into what we are now.
We were good, we were better defensively last year.
We went in as an eight seed,
but I think that series proved,
and it wasn't a fluke, by the way,
the Panthers went on to make a run
all the way to the Stanley Cup final.
Florida had more talent last year than the Boston Bruins.
I just got scared though,
the idea like we did this to them last year,
I hadn't really thought about that part of it.
Revenge?
Yeah.
We're still good.
Redemption?
I'm gonna snap out of it, I'm back, we're good.
Do we have any other developments
on the Scottie Scheffler front?
Any other?
Well, he made a statement to Jeff Darlington just now.
This is breaking.
He's like, Darlington, you were there for me?
I'm gonna, you get this statement.
You were my first call.
Where's Darlington?
Come here, and he whispers it.
He said, this morning I was proceeding
as directed by police officers.
It was a very chaotic situation, understandably so,
considering the tragic accident that had occurred earlier.
And there was a big misunderstanding
of what I thought I was being asked to do. I never intended to disregard any of the
instructions. I'm hopeful to put this to the side and focus on golf today. Of
course all of us involved in the tournament express our deepest sympathies
to the family of the man who passed away in the earlier accident this morning. It
truly puts everything into perspective." That is an A-plus statement from Scotty
Scheffler. That was all whispered into Darlington's ear. Yeah, do not
bypass the the tragedy that happened. Don't go at the police department. It was a very chaotic situation. Just play it straight Scotty and this goes off it gets expunged.
Understandably so considering the tragic accident that had occurred earlier. There was a big
misunderstanding of what I thought
I was being asked to do.
We get to wear the shirts at the Waste Management
Open with your face on it while you're wearing
the orange jumpsuit.
I did have to make sure, again, this was Jeff Darlington,
because this is very confusing on the internet.
But probably our final development for the morning,
I would guess, on the situation.
Chris, you made yourself bleed this morning.
Oh my god, and one of the dumbest ways
you could possibly do it.
You alluded that you made yourself bleed,
but why was it a dumb way?
Because I was, okay, so I like on a Friday,
I stop at a local beverage store,
get a nice little iced tea,
it's a little treat yourself on a Friday.
You were definitely golfing today.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But so I was like, all right, let me get a little iced tea.
So I have the standard, you know, you get the drink,
put it in the cup holder, I'm in my car, grab the straw,
do the move, bang the straw down on the middle console.
Straw goes into the mouth,
because the top end popped out of the paper.
I bite the straw, so now the straw's in my mouth,
I crumble up wrapping paper,
toss it into the cup holder just momentarily,
and as the hand, like my sleepy,
was up till one a.m. watching hockey hand,
flies back to my mouth to grab the straw
to put in said drink, I jam the straw into my throat.
I come in contact with, I'm telling you,
so this straw, all of a sudden I'm like gagging,
and this, it could be a little sharp,
it's like plastic.
This wasn't one of these paper straws,
and it just, I like felt the little like flap
of like on my throat, and all of a sudden
I open my mouth in my mirror.
Like right near my tonsil, like my tonsil was red.
I open my mouth and all of a sudden I'm like
shoving a napkin into my throat to like, gauze and I'm like gagging on it.
Your throat was bleeding?
For a split second I'm like is this a serious cut?
Am I gonna gush?
Like I'm like.
That's gonna turn into a sore,
you're gonna have a rough weekend.
Luckily it already seems to have healed.
Like you know us Cody's, like my dad,
his face healed in like a week.
Let me look in there, I'm gonna flashlight it.
Us Cody's are known for his face healed in like a week
Ten seconds of do I need to go to the hospital, but I'm fine I'm here and it just got me thinking I'm like laughing at myself
I'm like you frickin idiot like I just like the I wish I had
a instant replay of like just like my stupid hand
We should had a Russian dashboard cam
But it's just like does anyone have that beat in terms of like this I made myself bleed and I'm an idiot
Just has I have a really stupid self injury that I did it was like 2018
I want to say so it's like New Year's Day and Ryan Nanny was being the Bloomin' Onion mascot
for the Outback Bowl that day.
And it was like a 1 p.m. kickoff or something like that.
And so I had like gone out the night before on New Year's Eve
and I was like a little out of it,
a little hungover, a little tired.
And I went upstairs to get my laptop and bring it down
so I could just like lay on the floor
and watch the Outback Bowl.
And I did it.
As one would do.
I was, I just was moving too quickly
for the state of mind I was in.
And I fell down the stairs, like all the way down
a staircase, like 13 steps, on my ass.
Jesus.
Banged my elbow like into the wall.
I wasn't bleeding that bad, but like it hurt so bad.
And I thought I broke my arm and I was gonna need
to go to urgent care.
So I just proceeded to lay on the floor
and watch the outback pool.
And watch my boss dance around the field
in a blooming out onion outfit
while I just thought about how stupid I was.
Like I'm watching Ryan.
That's scary though.
I think mine's dumber.
He's in a blooming onion outfit
and I feel like the dumb ass.
Like it was a terrible New Year's day.
Roy, you got one? Yeah, I was playing street outfit and I feel like the dumbass. It was a terrible New Year's Day.
Roy, you got one?
Yeah, I was playing street football
and playing street football is dumb enough.
And I made a, I caught a pass
and the tip of my shoe hit the street.
And I felt there was a little pain there or whatever.
So we were done with the game and I still felt this pain.
Took the shoe off?
Took the shoe off, nail was black.
Ooh.
Just black.
I'm winning still so far.
You got injured doing something that you could potentially
get injured in.
That doesn't really count.
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
You actually do that.
You got hurt playing sports.
OK, sure.
I was, the worst time I made myself bleed was podcasting.
I had to go.
Chris, we might have found a winner.
I went to Marlins Media Day last year
and was doing interviews with all of the guys
and then at the end of it, we're packing up everything.
I'm having a debriefing conversation.
I think it was with Jazz.
We're talking, it all kind of starts winding down
and my podcast bag is essentially like a hard suitcase
that has a handle that you can drag it everywhere
and I left the handle up.
And so when I went to go grab a XLR cable
that was sitting on the ground,
I just very quickly went to the ground
and banged right above my eye on that handle
and started gushing blood to where they had to take me
into the trainer's room at Lone Depot Park.
Chris is still winning, I think.
Chris is still leading.
It's Duncan right?
I gagged on my straw guys.
The fact that it's Duncan iced tea at like 6 30 in the morning also is,
I feel like it makes it worse somehow.
Coming up next, I'll detail how I received stitches because I was afraid of a bird.
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Don LeBotard!
For five minutes I was watching everyone just like,
Nope, not letting you in, not letting letting you in so when I got up there
I had to say something and I said it cheaters never prosper. Stugats. My buddy was saying not today
Yeah, but you're trying okay. I think that was what he was adding
Yeah, that was so bad. That was so bad.
I'm telling you the response I got from this guy what I said was amazing. He got him. Cheaters never prosper.
This guy yelled as angry as he could
This is the down Libertar show with this two guys
And just saw someone recreate the OJ chase but Scottie Scheffler was in a golf cart
This is when the internet's at its best when it's harmless I saw Johnny Cochran if he's next on the tee, he must be set free meme this morning.
There was another one that Scotty Scheffler
tried that in a small town.
I bled one time because I was leaving my house
going to high school.
I was gonna drive myself to die school
and from across the street,
there was a very aggressive bird.
And this is where my fear of birds was born.
Bird.
You have a fear of birds?
I have a fear of birds.
Legitimately.
And it stems from this.
All birds?
Yeah, I don't like birds.
Do ducks count?
Ducks I'm fine with.
Chickens?
If I see a bird and it's stationary, we're good.
I don't know, I'm not like a guest on the Moray Show.
Like I can tough it out and be a tough guy around birds.
When birds start flying around me, hate that, hate that.
So I was leaving my house, I was like 16 years old
and this bird from across the street
just starts dive bombing at me.
Very confusing, I guess it had a nest
that it was protecting somewhere nearby, but this was, I was getting dive bombed me. Very confusing. I guess it had a nest that it was protecting
somewhere nearby, but this was,
I was getting dive bombed from across the street.
Sorry for laughing, it's just a funny visual.
No, it's terrifying.
That happened to me once.
I got attacked by a goose.
What?
That, and geese are really scary
when they start making those noises,
and they're bigger.
Yeah, I lived, but it was not.
Was it flying?
Yeah, it was dive bombing me.
That is really scary. This was not a very, was it flying? Yeah, it was dive bombing me. That is really scary.
This was not a big bird at all.
This was standard, maybe hand in a half length.
Like a pigeon, seagull, what are we talking about?
No, I was just like a-
Swallow, sparrow?
Probably.
No, I would say it looked like,
probably the size of a mockingbird, but it was like gray.
I don't, I didn't get a good,
I tried to go to the police department and sketch it out.
We, the assailant escaped.
Rust the bird.
So this bird starts dive bombing me
and I don't know what's happening.
It was the last thing I expected in that morning
being groggy, trying to walk to my Scion TC and-
A classic.
Yeah, a classic high school car.
And I duck and in Miami-Dade County,
I was living in Sweetwater at the time.
I don't know, in the 80s it was really like in vogue
to have these spiked fences outside of your home.
And so I had a gate.
You went to high school in the 80s.
No, no, no, no, The house was constructed in the 80s.
And so in Sweetwater, people know what I'm talking about.
They have these gates that are spiked,
and it was just very in fashion.
So I was living in a house like that at the time.
I come down chin first on that spike
as I'm disoriented trying to avoid this bird that
was dive bombing me.
I know I'm bleeding.
I know it's a lot of blood.
I run inside the house and I put a little something on it and I have like this makeshift
bandaid as I drive myself to school.
I get to school and I didn't realize that my shirt was covered in blood.
It was the only trip that I ever made to a school.
I didn't even know that Florida Christian had a school nurse at the time,
but they made me go see a nurse and I got stitched up
right then and there because I busted my chin wide,
I split my chin wide open trying to avoid a bird.
So that's the dumbest way.
I still think that Chris Cody has the beat.
Judges, thank you.
You're welcome.
I'll collect my prize.
I fell down the stairs.
Yours is like the most dangerous. You win the most dangerous, because that's terrifying. I was trying to watch the Outback Bowl. I fell down the stairs. Yours is like the most dangerous.
You win the most dangerous,
because that's terrifying.
I was trying to watch the Outback Bowl.
That's the part.
That part is fun.
And the nice old nugget of Ryan Nanny.
Roy, you got hurt playing sports.
Yeah.
I have a million sports injury stories.
Yeah, the other one, I was washing dishes
and then I had a big old meat knife for slicing
and sliced right through the sponge
and right through my finger.
Why didn't you go with that one?
I thought the other one.
I mean, you got turf toe.
You always gotta go away.
Well, yeah, I got turf toe.
It was street football, and that's why it was dumb.
You always gotta go blade out, man.
Yeah.
Kugler got me this sponge that's like,
it's like this and it has bristles in the middle
and it's plastic.
Is it the smiley face one that was on Shark Tank?
No, I love Scrub Daddy and Scrub Mommy.
Fire.
Respect to Scrub Mommy too, she's two sided.
Respectfully.
The sponge thing that Kugler got me is like a plastic thing
you put the knife blade in it
and then it won't go through and cut you.
It's a very good invention.
I cook a lot in my home, and I have this board
that I put to slice veggies and whatnot,
and I get mad nervous because I always think today's
going to be the day that I slice my hand.
It's already happened.
Thankfully, it wasn't like the gash where I thought I'd just
get cut down to the bone.
But I want to talk a little bit more about Harrison Butcher.
I try to avoid this discourse, and the reason
why I try to avoid this Harrison Butcher one is because number one I think it's easy and
I've been through these things before where I get loud in front of a
microphone and I just get aggregated by bad-faith right-wing news aggregators. I
did that with the UFC and look for all the complaints about cancel culture the
only ones that have really shown that they can actually do anything are
conservatives when it comes to canceling would be at a beer or a department store about cancel culture, the only ones that have really shown that they can actually do anything are conservatives
when it comes to canceling,
would be at a beer or a department store.
Like I'm just exhausted and I don't want to in my mentions,
but at the same time, I'm not gonna have a double standard.
So when the UFC had very similar comments
and I went in front of that microphone
and I challenged Dana White or Jimmy Pataro
to do something about it because this is, granted,
it's a bit of a different situation.
Harrison Butker is doing this on his own time,
and he's speaking at a college,
and he's speaking to certainly the audience
that it's intended for.
Who was it that told me that his mother
is actually a fairly accomplished scientist?
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
All right. Harrison Butker, who by the way, quite predictably has the number one selling
jersey in the NFL right now, does this. So it's not at a press conference where there's a bunch of media
ad, but I'm not going to make any more excuses. I do think that someone with the league, and maybe they have put out a statement, but I
do think that the league and its partners should come out and say that this is rhetoric
from a bygone era and it wasn't all right back then about women staying in the kitchen
and just very misogynistic statements from Harrison Butker.
And I'm not just doing the thing where this is a kicker.
I'd expect them to come out and say anything about any player and this seems like a
pretty easy spot especially when you consider the things that he was saying.
The league's chief diversity and inclusion officer senior vice president
Jonathan Bean did put out a statement it said Harrison Butcher gave a speech in
his personal capacity his views are not those of the NFL as an organization the
NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion,
which only makes our league stronger.
I do think that the conservative strategy
in bucking up against this stuff so much is working
because I myself did the math.
I'm like, this is exhausting.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
But I do think that it should go a couple of tiers
above the director of inclusion over at the NFL.
I would like to hear Roger Goodell weigh in on this.
And we don't have a media day coming up soon
for the Kansas City Chiefs,
but Patrick Mahomes has recent media availabilities.
Patrick Mahomes owns a women's professional soccer team.
We all know Travis Kelce is standing in the pop culture
world right now and who he's dating,
certainly an icon when it comes to women being empowered.
So I do hope that the teammates and the chiefs particularly take the opportunity to come
out and say something along those lines. Just a public acknowledgement that this is not
great. This is bad stuff. This is poor rhetoric and a poor message and certainly it's not something
that Patrick Malhomes believes in,
I know it's not something that Travis Kelsey believes in,
so why not take a fairly easy stand
and say no, women don't belong in the kitchen,
homemaker is not the dream job.
It's so amazing that when he said the word homemaker,
he started tearing up as if that were this just
truly emotional,
incredible moment.
I mean, it was so remarkable to hear this man
quote Taylor Swift in this speech.
That's the part that's so crazy too,
is like he somehow found this to be, what,
empowering for women?
Like I don't understand what his mindset was here.
It's so outdated.
I'm surprised Travis Kelce hasn't already gone the Will Smith route
of saying, keep my girlfriend's name out of your mouth.
Well, he did invoke a Taylor Swift lyric, right?
Yeah, he did.
I'm drafting him first overall in my fantasy league next year.
Let my boy cook.
I really don't know what they're doing with their special teams unit.
And all of this landed, I think, on Matt Arise's birthday.
They put out a graphic.
Yeah, I think that was yesterday.
Just to kind of remind everybody
that their special teams unit.
Thankfully, we don't see them all that often in Kansas City.
But like I said, I would like.
And I know that Patrick Mahomes, he's played this game
in the public eye quite deftly.
He's been asked about his political stances
and he's very much team do your own research
and he won't make waves there.
But this one's a fairly easy one.
And I would like to see them take the opportunity
to make this one an easy one.
There was an article written by Jessica Valenti
who does a lot of reporting on abortion in the United States
which was basically saying that that Harrison Butger's comments
are the law in this country now.
He went against everything that has now been disbanded
since the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
Yeah, I mean, it may be an easy stance for them
to say something along those lines about the comments
about women having careers, but essentially,
that has been co-signed
by the Supreme Court.
Yeah, well not to get overly political
because I was at a rock concert
and I was watching Limp Bizkit
and not that I have high expectations for Fred Durst,
but Fred Durst was going on the microphone
and he's like, man, I really hope we get a new president.
Truth be told, I don't know which one he was talking about. He could have been talking about the dude whose brain was getting
eaten by a worm or the guy that was already president. But he took this and, you know, there
was claps and some people that were just genuinely confused that Fred Durst decided to inject politics
into this concert. But I don't want to lose sight of when people just say we need a
change, we need a new president, and they cite other things, it's very easy to lose
sight of what is actually on the ballot when it comes to how they are calling
their shot and making it their main platform to kind of reset the timeline
and go back a couple of decades,
especially when it comes to women's rights.
So I don't want to ignore that fact.
There are very important things on the ballot
and just because there's a name attached
that you may feel some kind of way about
doesn't mean you should overlook it.
Updating our story of the day,
Scheffler is on the T-box right now.
I'm seeing Marty Smith like kind of trailing him.
Do you think Marty is a little jealous of Jeff Darlington today?
That was right place, right time.
Yeah.
That was like Sadano walking in front of LeBron's house
and spotting moving trucks.
That is.
I just picture Marty like, damn, man.
I overslept by a half hour.
I missed it.
That is one of the first people I'd want
to see leaving prison, though.
Well, a holding cell.
Yeah, he wasn't.
What are the dad jokes being said to by the other golfers? Like, hey, watch out. Ooh, a holding cell. Yeah, he wasn't.
What are the dad jokes being said to by the other golfers?
Like, hey, watch out, ooh, convict walking by.
There's gotta be some really bad jokes
being said to him right now.
Now, Scheffler is presently standing under an umbrella.
I thought he was just going through his phones
liking memes, but he is really, really looking at that card.
He's gotta be distracted today.
Like he's gotta play like shit today.
I would take the over on whatever the over under
is on his score today.
Because golf is such a game of concentration,
his mind has to be racing through this.
Of just like, what happened today?
What a weird day.
What happens if he actually has an amazing round?
And this is a tale of heroism.
I don't know, I feel like golf is one of the sports
where players can like, lock, the best players
can like lock it in the most.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm kinda hoping for him to win this whole thing now,
cause I wanna see what Nance says.
That's been a meme.
Hey, come on, come on.
Yeah.
I wanna see how this thing is called.
And I want to see generally how people
conflate these two things. Their love of golf
and also backing the blue. This is really putting people in a blender at the moment.
Apparently when Scheffler made his way back in,
Marty Smith did ask him for comment, and his response was, love you, Marty.
So at least Marty Smith got his moment as well,
not just Jeff Darlington.
You should Dominic Mysterio this thing
and show up in cuffs with his ankles also cuffed up.
Just really lean in.
I mean, the caddies- One that he can break,
like they're fake ones, like kids ones,
so he walks up, chant, and then he just busts out.
Is this one of those tournaments where the caddies wear a white jumpsuit?
Because if so, just change a color on the caddies,
on the caddies jumpsuit.
What a fascinating thing to happen to a sport
that is not at all that fascinating.
I did not have us spending this much time on golf.
No.
Stugatz is gone, and we've spent the most time on golf
that we've probably spent years.
Still no comment from Stu Gotts.
Cannonball.
You're not gonna have a comment from that guy
for the next week and a half,
given some of the videos that I saw.
Yeah, no, it's cool, they jam,
and there's stuff on a really big screen.
To segue completely here,
have you guys talked about this portal thing
that opened up, not the transfer portal,
the portal that opened up between
Dublin and New York where there was,
it's like an art installation, yes,
it has since been closed tragically.
It was an art installation where you could
live stream yourself to people in real time in Dublin.
And people,
Everyone had to handle this with maturity probably, right?
Why Dublin?
Has anyone said like why?
I'm actually not exactly sure.
I will look into it, but people were, you know,
waving and smiling and saying hi
and then they started doing other things
in front of this portal.
And a video went viral of a woman
flashing her breasts in front of it.
Because of course.
Then soon thereafter it was shut down.
But oh, we're not gonna blur that.
Fascinating social experiment to have done this
in two of, I think, probably the drunkest cities
in the world to do this in.
Is this being done from New York to Dublin
or is this from Dublin being done to New York?
I think that was in Dublin.
That didn't look like Times Square.
Why did we put that video?
The preview I saw was more of a from behind and we definitely had a side shot there for
a second.
Sorry about that.
Let's blur that in post, folks.
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Don Lebatard world war three
Stugats we're gonna get that off the world war three colon our group chat has a pretty good feeling about this one
This is the Don Lebathor show with the Stugats.
Can we reopen this portal though?
And if so, can we put Dabo Sweeney in New York City
so we can finally have a portal dub?
Coaches can transfer whenever they want.
So the portal should really always be open.
Do we have this sound from Dabo about the transfer portal?
So outside of military academies,
Clemson is the only school to not land a recruit from the
transfer portal as of right now. They can still,
there's still time for them to do so. I gotta say,
this isn't actually all that surprising,
which is shocking when they're in the conversation
with the service academies,
but here's Dabo kind of explaining why.
That's the other part of it.
And honestly, every player is technically a transfer.
We just signed a whole class of guys
transferring from high school.
So we like our guys, we like our starters.
Oh, Dabo colored his hair.
Oh, that's what you saw.
Yeah, no.
I didn't notice.
Yeah.
You see him wearing a cap.
Throw the sill up there one more time.
This dude definitely dyed his hair fairly recently.
It's a great equivocation between like high schoolers
transferring into college versus college players
transferring into the portal.
Technically everyone's transferring. Why don't you ask me how many of your kids are transferring to the kingdom of God? Transferring into college versus college players transfer
Why don't you ask me how many of your kids are transferring transferring to the kingdom of God
Because all our guys are Portland in the heaven. He already did the gods NIL thing So I feel like that's not far off. It is weird though. Like the the biggest they've lost transfers. Yeah
I saw some of his reasoning
Was truth be told most of these guys in the portal aren't good enough
to play for, I don't know why I'm kinda turning
into George W. Bush, but these guys aren't good enough
to be playing at Clemson.
I saw who your RB1 was last year.
Yeah, no, some of these guys are good enough
to transfer to Clemson.
Will Shippey?
Yeah, he's a good little player, good little player.
I just can't believe that his tactic with this
is I'm just gonna be stubborn.
It's just like-
Everyone else is kinda buying in.
You can't believe that with Dabo?
No, but I can, but it's just like, dude.
It's not sustainable, and I think,
this is my take on it.
You know how they closed the season out strong,
and Dabo took that as an opportunity
to give a big FU to everybody that was kind
of doubting them. He would never say FU, you know, just for the record. I
understand he's a good man, but I think that that little mini run at the end of
the season last year is gonna end up setting them back. There's just, there's
just vibes and I'll say this, Jim Laranaga, the way that he's been talking
about the transfer portal, and I know college basketball is bonkers, that also makes me a little bit nervous.
You're seeing a lot of coaches just step away from the sport, Katie Meyer did too.
A lot of that is because the current climate. This is all crazy and I do think
that you have to be cut a certain way to really excel here.
Dabo's been plenty successful with a different set of rules and you have to
be concerned with the kind of quotes
that leave his mouth because that is not how I think
you actually gain an advantage in these streets these days.
It is interesting because I was talking about this
with one of my friends the other day.
There was a CBS, their college football guys all did
like a ranking of the best college football coaches
and Dabo was pretty high up like top three in most rankings which totally makes sense. He's won
multiple national championships, Heisman trophy winners, like he has done a phenomenal job
at Clemson and no one ever expected him to do that when he was hired. So it's hard to
take him out of like the top five but since the transfer portal era and the NIL era started,
their team and since he lost bread veneables, frankly,
his team hasn't been as good.
So it's just, it's like hard to compare
the two different eras as distinct things for him
because this is one area where I think
he's gotten a lot of criticism
because if you watched Florida State play last year,
a lot of their transfers made immediate impact
and put them in a national title conversation,
whereas Clemson could have used a couple guys like that.
I think to be uber successful, and granted there's some successful programs that kind
of predate NIL and they're still riding that wave.
And once you start stacking classes that's sustainable for a while, I think you need
to be kind of everywhere.
You have to check all the boxes.
And I think you have to have a certain mental makeup to really excel in
what is presently this Wild West. Down here in South Florida, when it comes to approach,
when it comes to talent acquisition, when it comes to grinding, I think we have a, we
check a lot of the boxes there. When it comes to game management, very clearly from last
year, there's a, there's a lot of room for improvement there. Dabo's proven that he can
be a really good coach. As you mentioned, he was a stopgap. He wasn't ever supposed to be this multiple-time winning national
champion. But there's a reason why. When we were starting to talk about that Alabama job
and if there was ever a day that Nick Saban would step away from that job, why Dabo, it
was always assumed, not just because of his ties to the school, why Dabo was the natural
pick. And for there to be a hiring cycle at the University of Alabama and for Dabo
to be dismissed, totally out of pocket, no shot in hell, or heck, no shot in
heck, that dude is gonna be the head coach over at Alabama, tells you exactly
where these programs at know exactly what it takes to be done right now when
it comes to talent acquisition being successful in the modern age.
Dabo doesn't really fit that profile.
He's at the perfect school because he's at the school that he had all that success with
and he brought them all the way back that they're not going to get rid of Dabo.
Like I said, they had a strong finish to the season last year, but I'd be nervous.
I'd be real nervous.
Apparently a guy also mooned the portal,
so his ass was broadcast,
I'm not sure actually which side that was on,
his ass was broadcast in the portal,
either in New York or in Dublin.
Dublin showed a picture of the Twin Towers falling down
in the portal to New Yorkers.
That's another thing that happened.
I think it's pretty unfair to just categorize this
as the entire city of Dublin.
There was one wayward dude that put a phone still.
Yeah, sorry.
That's fair.
The one person.
But I do think that the lady flashing her boobs
does speak for all of New York City.
I think she was in Dublin.
She was in Dublin?
It didn't look like Times Square.
I mean, we don't have to put the video back up, but.
She was in Dublin?
I was pretty sure that one was in Ireland.
Wow, I'm not sure what I'm doing there, but good on you, Ireland.
Who wasn't familiar with your game?
Another update.
ESPN.
I think they don't have boobs there.
ESPN broke into first take to show Sheffler's first shot.
So this is already good for him.
I cannot wait to hear Stephen A. Smith talk about Scottie Sheffler.
Oh my god. What is it going to be? He's just gonna rip the officers just rip them
Disgrace I don't really know what the what the takes are here
I don't I don't know what the move is here with the Scottie Scheffler thing other than the last
He was in New York apparently according to what?
According to the New York Poach she's an OnlyFans model.
It says OnlyFans model who flashed NYC Dublin portal,
same woman who told Dr. Phil she'd rather quote,
die hot than live ugly.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, so like when you cut me with they don't have boobs
in Dublin, I'm like, I'm sure they have boobs,
but when it comes to OnlyFans models,
I like the chances of it being in New York,
and that gave off Lincoln Bio.
I still think you're selling Ireland very short.
Well, I would like to be there, no doubt.
Florida State, Georgia Tech,
Aerolingas College Football.
Are you going to,
College Game Day announced that they're gonna be
at Kyle Field, College Station for?
I am strongly considering it.
Maybe Lucy and I can do a little medal arc trip
there together. Yeah, tag team the Off-Road Inn.
I loved College Station.
I loved my game day experience there.
They're nutty. It's a cult. That's not a cult, but...
Notre Dame's got none of that, so...
Were you hoping for...
Yeah, the Catholic religion has none of that going for it.
Were you hoping for UM Florida?
No, but I was surprised that it was a 330,
and it's come to my attention
that the reason that they got that 330 window because noon is Georgia and
Clemson. I'm a big Kane guy and I love our rivalry with the Florida Gators, hate
them Gators, but when I tell you the games here are Notre Dame Texas A&M,
Clemson Georgia, and Florida Miami. It's pretty easy to
tell who should be the noon start there, but I think ESPN with this brand new SEC
deal, as you know SEC football, the window is that 330 window. So they're using
Miami and Florida to really launch pad the SEC on ESPN, same window as you
always remember, just different network, which is really cool
for Miami to be a part of that.
I'll double down and talk to more people about this
because I floated that take out there.
Even more important.
It's the most important game in the history of UM football.
If I'm being honest,
I wasn't looking at the background of the video,
I was looking at her boobs.
So that's why I couldn't tell where she was.
So you've been on the record saying
it's the most important game in the history of the program
and you got word back that you've undersold it.
I thought I just heard the counters and I understand national championships and all that.
I'm not discounting those. What I'm saying is the investment from the university, the investment from the boosters,
the ability to step up to the plate in ways that this fan base that quite honestly
does a lot of stuff from the sidelines.
And it's understandable why.
There's a very small student body.
Most of the Miami fan base didn't actually go to the school.
There really isn't an active alumni base when it comes here.
But the fans stand on the sideline
and a lot of people stepped up to the plate
in ways that the fan base didn't really understand
were even possible.
Apparently she also licked a toilet
just as the COVID-19 pandemic was spreading,
a toilet seat on an airplane, so yes.
That's the girl?
American, very American.
I thought she looked familiar.
But Mike, if they lose against Florida and win out,
like they're going to be in the playoff,
they're going to, I get what you're saying.
You can paint that scenario, but I think Florida,
this is essentially a loser to Leaves Town match
between Billy Napier and Mario Crisabal.
And I'm not saying like, you can't,
but in terms of perception,
you can basically write off the loser
given how these two programs are being talked about
right now.
They need to show you something for the University of Miami.
This tree needs a bear fruit.
This investment in year three of Mario Crisaball,
you will actually need to see some real marked progress.
And I know that the over-unders again aren't gospel,
but if you look at this, you'd be shocked to learn.
Miami is the same over-under win total
as Alabama and Michigan.
Nine and a half.
Nine and a half. This is a team that hasn't won over that number since they maybe done that once
in the last 20 years. Notre Dame year. It's nine and a half. Now if you really
want to get into the betting weeds the reason for that is the SEC is stronger,
the Big Ten is stronger, the ACC is a weaker conference, but also they expect
Miami to be better. So the
expectations are there. And by the way, the staff doesn't shy away from it. They
know what happens here. They know the dialogue that is going to be around
this program if they do lose that game to Florida. They welcome that challenge.
They welcome those expectations. They know it's a big one. We've been doing a
lot of tough talk here and we've actually been backing it up when it
comes to providing the coach and the staff and the athletic
department the resources to go and do do a good job which is why in ways that
we've never done before which is why I firmly believe this is the most
important football game in the history of the program. Howdy listeners it's Mike
and you know a lot has changed over the years. Just look at sports.
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