The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Trolley Problem
Episode Date: November 1, 2023Stugotz and Billy have some major takeaways from Halloween, but Stugotz's have the rest of the crew a little concerned. Then, it turns out Lucy was not almost hit by a car (truck or van), but a trolle...y bus. Mike continues to despise Victor Wembanyama, Stugotz leaves to go golfing, Amin Elhassan joins the show, and we hear Kendrick Perkins' comments on James Harden's performance in the 2012 NBA Finals. Plus, the Connor Stallions story may be the best College Football controversy we've ever seen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.
Welcome to the big suite presented by Giraffe King.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants,
just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
that if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,
that face and the habitual liar.
We have a handful of Halloween observations
being made around here.
Billy is worried about the future for lazy children
and stugots.
Uh-huh.
Wow.
And stugots is popping edibles and mocking parents
who still have to wander around with their kids
and saying that he's
making the claim that Halloween is better without kids than with them.
So it is, this was my second Halloween without my kids, okay?
But last year, I still lived in a hotspot, my neighborhood.
And there's an obligation that comes with living on one of the hot blocks, a hotspot.
You have to get the house decorated, you have to make it an experience for the kids,
even when your kids are off to college.
But I've moved and I've moved to an older part
of my neighborhood, okay?
A quieter part of my neighborhood.
But Halloween without the kids, there is hope for you, Mike.
There's hope for you, Billy.
There is hope for all of you, okay?
I am telling you, Halloween without the kids,
so much better than Halloween with
the kids. Six o'clock, gummy goes in, seven o'clock, we're in the golf court, big GNT for
me, glass of wine for Abby. As a passenger. Exactly, yes. We're the chauffeur. We had a driver.
We had a driver. Yes, we did. We had, thank you. We had a driver. Yes, we did. We had thank you. We had a driver and so then I bring a little dog walker with me
And we lighted up the drivers driving the golf cart
We lighted up in the back seat me and Abby and Abby says to me. What are you doing? You just took a gummy and I said Abby
Nothing makes the gummy land like a dog walker an hour and ten minutes later down
Drugs work like more drugs.
More drugs.
Yeah, you can die in a very stupid way.
Probably.
Well, you kill Lucy.
So the driver takes us.
It's quite trolley.
So the driver takes us to the hotspot to the neighborhood where I used to live.
And what we did is we watched people who were us 10 to 12 years ago.
And we just laughed at all of them.
Every single one of them.
I'm like Abby, look at that dad trying to get his kids
to wait until he gets home to eat his Halloween candy.
I was crazy.
This honestly sounds sad.
It was.
Like if I was going around my kids,
I see just two random middle age old people
in a golf car.
Exactly laughing at me.
I'd be like, what is wrong with that?
Stu, you're completely right.
Because yesterday I went trick-a-treating
one of those big neighborhoods that, no, he's right,
because there's a bunch of golf carts
that are all tricked out, have the Halloween lights on them,
smoke machines, or whatever,
and those are the people having the most fun.
The people walking socks.
Right.
Oh, oh, oh.
Can you guys look up?
This is a self-lord of things, just golf carts everywhere.
I was mad yesterday because I was saying
these kids need to like earn this candy
because I was in a parade of wagons yesterday, Dan.
Like I brought a wagon because I had a bunch of crap
that I needed to carry.
And I'm like, I don't wanna carry that for blocks
and blocks and blocks.
And what happens when you have a wagon?
The kids jump in it.
So we had like three or four wagons.
And kids are just being wagoned from house to house.
They just get down and get the candy.
It's like, hey, walk.
If you're getting candy walk
We're not gonna be dragging around and wagons what's going on here?
And then I felt judged because I didn't know all the people that I was with and I was walking with my dad who was carrying the wagon
And I was trying to have this conversation with him
But I didn't want to be the rude person that's criticizing other people that are doing the wagon situation
Well, I'm doing it myself. I honestly. I thought I was smart. I was like, you know what?
This is really smart bill
You should take the beach wagon.. You could put everything in there
If Mia gets tired just hopper in the wagon she can roll on we can go on with more candy
And then I saw all the other dads with the wags. I'm like, oh, I'm a dad now. I'm not smart. I'm lazy
Do you believe we are raising entitled children? Oh, yeah, the world's gonna end
Oh, you're kidding me. I mean there are a number of different reasons the world's gonna get. I know, but these kids are gonna be too lazy to even swim when the water comes and overtakes
them.
I wasn't even talking about the water this time.
I'm okay with this time.
Yeah, no, this time it was.
This time it was.
This time it was not water.
This time I was just thinking about all of the other ways, including trolleys that one
can die.
Can you please look this up for me?
Because I don't believe that trolleys
are responsible for a lot of deaths,
but I may have this wrong.
I am Lucy is claiming,
Lucy is claiming that trolleys work
at a rate of speed that is underrated.
It was a trolley bus,
so it was a bus that looked like a trolley.
And it was very traumatic.
I got anxiety for like two weeks after just crossing that intersection because that thing
moved so fast that I had to trigger the emergency break and it was stuck there for like 20 minutes.
Can you guys find for me as much information as you possibly can on trolley deaths?
I am now obsessed with finding out.
I assume San Francisco's cat bird.
That would that be a very good guess as a favorite.
But I just know when that comes in, I'm going to be so psyched so many people are getting
murdered by trolleys in SF.
It's a lot.
Do you think you'll be as happy?
Put her on the pole.
Who was happy?
Are David Samson talking about firing managers or Mike Ryan?
I'm imagining San Francisco pedestrian dying by trolley.
Can you get for me because a lot of people were talking yesterday about Wemba Njama.
They win late stugas.
They were down by 20.
There are a couple of back and forth dunks, a couple of ridiculous shots Wemba Njama made.
Mike, Ryan, continues to be the nation's loudest when Vinyama hater.
I don't understand why you guys are weird.
You guys are the weird ones.
The guy is eight feet tall.
He does not need your help.
This is not a lovable underdog story.
You guys are essentially just the guy that is the Cowboys
Yankees Laker fan.
You're just a bunch of front runners.
And excuse me, if I think it's an unfair advantage
And I don't want to throw my support additionally to this guy. I can't believe what you guys are doing on fair advantage
It is unfair. Yo-kitch is an unfair advantage. I don't see you, you know, Clammering him to sit down. I'm not a big Yo-kitch guy
I think it's also a check but the weird part about this is this isn't like an on air bit that you're just doing like we walk in
And you're just screaming about
when we in the middle of the office.
Like people are trying to eat it.
He's like, have you seen the video?
When we asked him to,
have you seen the video?
He's like, he's gonna bring it here.
No, what happened was, oh, he's looking,
look at him, he's slender man.
Throw up the video right now.
He's so funny because he's so, he's so big.
I'm telling you that height, what you're pointing at,
what you're defying at, that right there is unfair.
It's a good costume.
We were just talking about what,
not everyone can blow off this costume
as he's maybe the one person in the world
that can rock this costume.
Oh, his hands are huge.
And he did it, and it looked great.
Tell you what, next Halloween dress up
is someone that doesn't have five turnovers of game.
He's 19, might be.
Absolutely liability as a ball game. might absolutely liability as a ball handler.
Absolutely liability as a
one of the dress up is Steve Nash.
This is the thing though.
It's not a bit.
He was doing this during our
I don't understand what you
want to know.
It's all that's rude for this guy.
And even those who wouldn't
listen, we're getting it.
You someone has someone has to
be the person.
Somebody has to be a leader. Get you on right of somebody has to be a hater.
Hater, hater, I'm protecting you.
Get your wall integrity of the game.
You're literally a hater.
You should not be playing basketball.
You don't even like KURIFLAG.
You should not be a higher rim.
Seriously, I'm the only person that's like, that's not fair.
That's not fair.
Let's root against this guy because he has all the advantages
in the world.
You guys are just a bunch of front runners.
If you're rooting for Victor Wang, but Niyama, you really are.
But then you must also hate LeBron James because he is physically
gifted in a way that makes it unfair for other people to play basketball against him.
He's not a feet tall. And that's a difference because it does make it easier.
You're right about that. There's other guys the same height in the NBA. No one's that
height. Seven four? No one's that height with those hands and that length come on there are a couple
of them on no one's like that.
Shack was saying last night we've seen this before.
Bull Bull is wandering around.
That's right.
Someone with common sense we have.
He should stop dribbling the ball.
But he says that when Banyama Shack does, there was more context to that.
He says that when Banyama will be good, he was not actually comparing him to the skills of bull bull,
but he was saying we have seen this before,
but what you're arguing Mike,
you're basically going to Disney world.
You are seeing the kids there for the first time,
seeing something they've never seen before
and saying to them, why are you rooting for this?
Why are you rooting for the big Disney giant?
What I'm doing is, I think, I'm a freedom fighter that is signaling the same flares
that many people he is. I'm sounding a claxon. All right. I'm sounding the
claxon right now about artificial intelligence, climate change, and Victor
Wemba Nyama. You can't, he's in the same class. It cheats the game. The Disney
analogy Dan is a really good one one because Mickey is the biggest of the mice I've ever seen.
Like, look at a normal mouse.
A normal-sized mouse couldn't pull off this kingdom.
And also, how is Pluto, who's a dog, smaller than Mickey Mouse?
And there's the whole goofy thing too,
but goofy's confusing because it's goofy a dog,
but it's dating Claire about the cow.
It's like an inner species thing there.
But here is what's happening with Mike.
It's not now that Mike is afraid of because I don't think people are actually rooting for
Wembee.
I think they're just awed by seeing something that doesn't have any kind of relation to
anything you've seen from a human being
athletically before.
But what Mike is worried about is if that becomes dominant, it ruins the whole sport.
Like he will have such an advantage over everybody.
Thank you.
Like you guys are worried about the sport being ruined.
Yes.
That's just michating on some random.
Yes, that's all I'm doing.
He seems like a nice guy from loving. I understand why all of you are falling for it
I really do we thought this about yana's a couple of years ago
It's not really sport. Yeah, well, you can't make a free throw. Thankfully. There's something we got to find the Achilles heel
Right now it's turnovers. It's all we have KD is four inches smaller than when be you I don't see you claiming for him to stop because all these
Roon in the game. Yeah, that's four inches four inches is nothing. You know't see you claiming for him to stop because all these ruin in the game. That's four inches.
Four inches is nothing, you know that.
Can you guys put up, can you put up please the photograph
last night?
Cause a lot of people were enjoying the physical length
of both of these human beings.
And I know a lot of people are celebrating.
Look at KD, how amazing he is that he can make
that shot over the outstretched arm and the giant hand of Wemba Nyama, but my takeaway
from that was holy shit. I've never seen someone that size who could guard KD because that
is a constate with him. That is a contested shot. I know everybody's looking at what Kevin
Durant is doing there. And Look, he's barely off the floor
Imagine when he learns how to jump straight up with both hands. This is a problem guys
It looks like a Photoshop where you would extend his arm by like pushing it forward, but it's actually his real
I've never feared a minus three more. He can't make three's yet
No, and he keeps taking him and he's got a good coach over there.
Honestly, I know you want to, you want to go for the temptation of him, bring the ball up court
because it looks good. But if Pop knows anything, just, just fundamentals, keep them in the post
and teach him how to be a big man to throw two hands up there and then add those dimensions
to his game. So you can say the guys career, which I don't want to be good.
I want to be very clear about that.
You're telling me to root against this.
You're telling pop out of coaches play.
I don't think you know what he's doing.
I really don't.
Jessica, why is he lost the plot?
He lost the first bit.
That's not a bit.
It's not a bit.
It's not a bit.
It's so insane.
Again, he seems like a very nice guy.
He can put this show.
He seems like a very nice guy, but the
fact that you're all rooting for this, it's like a Fisher Price hoop up there. It's a good
costume. I won't even give him that. He, so that's it. We need to get the two cats so far!
But you still got to the top everyone with the space
to our way, please more than you do.
Stugats.
I always like leaving a hand on the chicken.
I like it.
Because he's so vulnerable, I just unfairly fade down the chickens.
He just only look at myself.
This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.
I just got to see behind the curtain at one of the magician's great tricks.
Stugats is no longer here.
He has a golf outing with Chris Cody and Bob Dust Sports on the company Dimes to got his golfing.
And he was supposed to be here for a couple of hours, but this is the magic at work I just saw.
He has his backpack on, he is clearly leaving, and I ask him, are you leaving?
And he points over his shoulder and says, Mike told me to leave. And then Mike comes in here and I witness him saying
to Stugantz, I didn't tell you to leave.
And he's like, yeah, you did.
And Mike was like, nope, just saw that you put your backpack
on and that's pretty much a sign that you're leaving
because why would you sit in the seat if you weren't leaving?
So he's going to golf.
Billy, you're familiar with his work in this area.
Well, this is actually a great trick that was pulled today because he said to everyone
all week that he was not coming at all today because he had to go golf.
So then what happens is he comes for an hour.
So he's doing everyone else a favor.
And also the person golfing with him today is Chris Cody, who couldn't be here
because he was going to golf. So now by him coming for an hour, it seems like Chris Cody
could have been here for an hour, but didn't come today. And I don't know that it was
ever communicated to Chris that's to gots changed his mind and decided to come today when
he couldn't originally come today came for an hour. So we should say thank you for coming
for an hour, but then leaves even though no one told him to leave. A magic trick. He looks better than Chris Cody. Looks like he cares more.
Chris Cody clearly deserves the time off because he's tired from making that Halloween costume
that was a fork in the road. David said that was the best costume. So my favorite part about
going in there confused because he, his whole argument for me telling him to leave was,
remember when you said, are you leaving? He thought that that for me telling him to leave was, remember when you said, are you leaving?
He thought that that was me telling him,
go ahead and leave?
Apparently he did technically say leave.
Are you leaving?
Are you leaving?
I don't understand.
He also said he was gonna be here
for the entirety of the big Sui
yet one segment in, he says goodbye.
It's all about intonation.
In print, it all sounds the same, but is it,
are you leaving? That means like, oh man, are, it all sounds the same, but are you leaving?
Like that means like, oh man, are you leaving?
And it's like, are you leaving?
Means get out of here.
So how did you say are you leaving?
And not the way that he would take it that I told them to leave.
Did you text it?
But did you see it in print?
Because then there's the confusion.
He had his backpack up very clearly leaving.
And I asked him, hey, are you leaving?
And he's like, yeah, you told me to.
Just now when you asked, are you leaving?
Yeah.
What?
They are great mind tricks.
Also, what I witnessed was Mike Ryan saying to him,
hey, we've only done one segment of big sui
and Stu got's looking in his face and saying,
so we've done two segments of big sui.
And it happened just like that.
It happened just like that.
And it's because his mind is fried from drugs.
Wait, to be clear, what was the gap in time
between you saying one segment and his-
I just did it the way that it happened.
That's the way that it happened.
That's the way that it happened.
That's the way it happened.
In fact, it made me feel for Mike.
Mike has oddly developed more patients
as he's more tired with all of the dysfunction
around here than he's ever been
I was oddly surprised that Mike after saying that quickly
Wasn't befuddled or stunned because I was standing next to it to go to have conversationally happen
Mike Ryan tell stugots we've done one segment of big sui and stugots clap his hands as he's leaving and say so we've done two segments of big sui
That's how that happened. I an outside observer. I don't know if it's that he's developed more patience or he's giving an f less
That's that's the one. It's probably that one because like here's the thing they look the same
But because if we're gonna
Kind of co-peel back the fourth wall
Oh, let's do it. A means here.
So, see, that's gets up in a mean slides in like,
a little convenient.
I mean, it's pretty great.
It's pretty great.
I didn't say that.
I'm just saying Mike has options.
He's certainly an upgrade from an honesty standpoint.
Ha, ha, ha.
Well, but he's, it might not be an upgrade
from a delirious standpoint,
because a mean came in here and looked at me and when I looked in his eyes
He looked a bit crazed and he was wearing yesterday on him whatever it is that happened yesterday
I've been wanting to talk to him about this James Harden trade. So we've done two segments of big swing now
The James Harden gets what he wants tour is really amazing to watch.
What are you spreading your arms for as if this is your victory lap?
It is my victory lap because months ago when James was saying, that always a liar.
And Damien Lillard's showing up to Portland's practice facility saying, I just want to get
to know the young guys.
That's not how you do it.
Do you want something in the NBA as a superstar?
You don't ask nicely, you don't try to be polite,
you don't go along and get along.
You make a big f-ing mess.
And yes, everyone had jokes and the AI memes
of James Hardin not being allowed on the plane
by two TSA agents wrestling and all that stuff.
But at the end of the day, one guy got to go exactly where he wanted to go
and one guy didn't.
And it goes to show everything that I've been saying
from the beginning.
If you want something in the NBA, you don't play nice,
you don't be a professional,
you make a huge effing mess,
and that's how you get to where you wanna go.
Let's get to that sound from all the smoke.
They do a great job
on that show and on those adjacent shows. And Kendrick Perkins was on with them and was talking,
I think, about the time that they were teammates at O.K.C. and this is what Kendrick Perkins had to
say about that, James Hart. And this is 14, you know, this is his first appearance in the NBA
finals. They lose in five to Miami. So it's about 10 years ago or more around there. Let's see what
we've got here. The mad James ain't give us shit and you know what? My king of diamonds
and everything caught a hole in his hands and have you think you know what? See it's
saying Antonio look and saying it's on you. he ain't have a damn thing to do.
Shit.
We got some, you know, we got some more,
fuck my amm is shit.
It was everything, more, fuck to do.
We could get that more,
fuck the b***** of that more.
He's showing us killing us.
It's saying to Tonyo, bro.
God damn.
It's tough.
Yeah, you have to get his wrist.
And my amm, he couldn't get his wrist.
My fuck was all you in, my fuck tonight. He couldn to get his wrist in Miami. You could get his wrist. Mom, it was all you in mobile at night.
You could get his wrist.
It's that obvious that because San Antonio doesn't have a thriving strip club
commerce community, James Hardin plays better there empirically because he
can't be as tired. You know what the irony is, it's always funny to me how players find their rhythm
or find their routine, right?
Steven Jackson was in that clip,
played on the 2007 We Believe Warriors,
the ones that upset the Dallas Mavericks in the first round.
Do you remember what happens to them in the second round?
Does anyone remember?
They got beat up.
They got beat up by the Utah Jazz and they lost in five.
That was a great maps team and that was best record in the league.
One of what, like at the time, the only the second A-C'd
to ever beat a one-seat, it hadn't happened very often.
Yeah, it was still a rarity at that point.
The third, I believe.
The first was Seattle.
In the past seven, I think it might have been the first
because there was a nuggets and then the lockout short
season were the nicks.
That worry game was so much fun.
So this is, apparently that team, their thing was after every game were going out.
It was a home game.
They went out to, there's a bar in Oracle that they would go to.
They had a drink called simply the best.
It was their signature concoction and they went out hard every night. And so against Dallas,
they were going out hard every night and playing great. When they got to Utah, they couldn't
go out and so it messed their rhythm up. And that's the they say that's why they lost that series
is because they couldn't go out
in the case of James Harden
in Miami he could go out and he went apparently too hard and and
it all fell apart but i believe it as a twenty three or twenty four year old
i could see that happening about as a thirty three year old which is what he's
doing now and going to loss angeles i could see it happen more
uh... mike when you see this happen as
someone who's been hurt by Lillard not being in Miami and the course correction of GM's
grabbing the power back with Damien Lillard as the central figure, when James Hardin does
everything he does and has less value at this point in his career than Damien Lillard and gets exactly what he wants, maybe at least in part because he has less value, do you find
yourself getting mad that Lillard is the only one that didn't get exactly what he wanted?
Yeah, I've been mad about that for a while that Lillard could never, for the last few years, find the right approach, the,
not the right approach.
It's the wrong approach.
Well, we can all agree it wasn't effective in getting what he wants.
And I don't understand how James Harden always gets what he wants.
And what it does for me as a heat fan just fuels this kooky conspiracy theory that I have
as part of the problem is I don't want guys
to go to Miami. Now, I don't understand why Portland would would feel that way being that
they're in a different conference, but the way that the the Lillard thing was covered
in the media, let's just look at ESPN and Woj was totally different. Now, Harden, you could
argue, is that a similar stage in his career as Lillard. So what is going on here?
Fewer takers?
Possibly.
But for whatever reason, Lillard's pursuit of Miami, and Miami's pursuit of Lillard, was
just covered differently than all these other ones.
And it's weird.
Why is it different?
It can't be different because he's been the most loyal guy.
What are the variables I play here?
And as a heat fan, I just think haters, haters is what I think. Thank you.
Better Bung agrees with you. Just real quick. I mean, the clippers are going to be what? James
Hardin's going to be what? Those are, those are three players and Westbrook. Those are, in George,
Kauai, and James Hardin, those are all guys who need to have the basketball.
Do you want me to give you the most optimistic version of why I think this could work?
I'm not on this, but if you ask me to be the most optimistly version of myself.
It's worth it for the Clippers to try it. Is it not? They're giving up next to nothing for star power.
Balmer wants to make them relevant, wants to keep them in the game. It makes sense for them to try it, is it not? They're giving up next to nothing for star power. Balmer wants to make them
relevant, wants to keep them in the game. It makes sense for them to try it, whether it works or not.
It's not, it's not next to nothing. I think people, it's next to nothing of what's here right now.
Those picks, which are unprotected, that first round pick in 2028, five years from now, which is very likely, none of these guys are gonna be there to see it, right?
But in terms of the right now,
the biggest thing that James Harden can provide this team
is the concept of insurance, right?
What is the Clippers problem bin?
To the last few years, right?
That's a great point.
Guys are unavailable, guys are not there.
So what?
You throw enough fragile guys.
I'm sure one of them's got to be healthy.
They don't cover.
James Hardin is going to have one of these games
with nine threes just cause Kauai and Paul,
George aren't playing.
You won't sweat and injury so much.
Honestly, if they're all healthy,
there might be more of an issue than if like they're better off
They are legitimately better off if they're not all healthy
So one guy that needs to be healthy
When at the end not all season just at the end don't lebertard
He's like he needs a wheelbarrow like Mike McDaniel this dog
Got a pair he's really man does he get a pair?
My granddaughter sees his long
She
My grand-daughter saw his long
She said what is this a game of clue
Stugats it was a little extended. I don't know why he was so excited. All right very baby
No, I
Anyway, he ate my couch. This is the down lebertar show with his two cats. With a giant smile on his face and a delirious look in his eye, a mean came into this studio
excited and said, have you guys talked about what Davos Swinney did?
Tyler? The answer to your question is yes. I
believe it was yesterday's finest segment just roaring with laughter at a series
of condescensions and fury that Davo Unleashed on Tyler who I
Lure told yesterday we were in hot pursuit of Tyler we came very close to getting Tyler but have not yet found
Tyler we want to do the follow-up interview to
What Davo did to Tyler Tyler?
So I'm sorry. It's off the table
But what is still on the table for you, I mean, is the magical story of
Conor Stallions, what happened? I just one thing. Did you guys talk about Tony Elliott?
We did not. Oh, that's my favorite part about how he discovered Tony Elliott in my favorite game to my
National Championships, my Tyler favorite part is just like he was like, I took Tony Elliott's bum ass off the street He ain't even had a pot the piss in and I made him into a national championship twice
Who could have done that at somewhere Tony Elliott's like?
To do with me man, just be like Carolina like I'm not that bad
The fact that Tony Elliott's in his office somewhere because what does he coach now?
Virgin is like in this in his office and I was like huh? coach now? Virginia. Virginia, he's like in his office,
and I was like, huh,
oh, Davo went office here at this call,
and he's like, oh my God, that's classic Davo.
And then he got to the Todeo,
and he's like,
Tyler, what does God have to do with me, man?
Well, we were laughing more than that
at just him listing his credentials
and saying, I wanted to be a father
and I have three kids.
Like, I can imagine his three kids being like,
what dad, we're just trophies.
The media has been very mean to me.
And I would just like to say that now that the Stanford
Cardinals in the ACC, I like to see that tree.
That tree's got a big old mouth.
Tyler.
Hey, Tyler.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I want her to be free with you.
It's a good looking mascot. That's all I'm saying. Tyler with the imperson I am here. I am here. I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here. I am here. I am here. I am here. I am here. because- I can't believe that's his name. It's a real name. That's not a real name. For those of you who do not know, we don't know what's real
or not real about this person.
And we're about to do an investigation
because this person is Michigan adjacent.
His name is now on all of our minds
because this keeps getting funnier and weirder
and Harbaugh might have to flee Michigan
and in disgrace because what might be uncovered here has the
possibility of being a great combination of funny and embarrassing.
And every day there is something new that comes out and teams are cooperating and yesterday
the athletic posted a piece that featured photos of someone who was reported to be Conor
Stallions and Jim McAwin had a press conference
addressing these photos, saying,
we don't know who that person is on the sideline.
Connor Stallions was not credential.
This is a central Michigan game.
That's where Jim McAwin is right now on your screens.
You're seeing someone in a very poor disguise
as central Michigan hat and sunglasses.
At night.
At night on the sideline and there are additional photos of him going
as far to fist pump when there's a play that goes in central Michigan's direction.
This is allegedly Connor Stallions, the Michigan staffer that has been their spy of sorts.
Now if you're looking at these photos, you probably want a little bit more evidence,
but we have for you a face
more.
And it would appear that the person in question, the mysterious central Michigan
Chippewa staffer might indeed be Conor stallions.
So this was at Michigan State.
It was, I believe, a season opener sent from Michigan at Michigan States.
What makes sense that he was there?
One of the funnier parts is there were a lot of plays that went over towards that
sideline.
And if we saw allegedly Connor Salions,
every time we'd pull his hat down or hide his face
or try to avoid the camera when he knew
that it was going to be in his direction,
if that was him, which I believe it was.
It was also a Friday night game,
and the Michigan game was the next day,
so it was feasible that he could have been at both.
And the fact that like central Michigan
is still not sure who it is even though,
like no one's come forward yet and been like,
that's me guys, like obviously it's me.
So like, that's not that guy, that was,
I was, I was credentialed that that.
Is that Norton?
It does, it does give pause.
It just, it also just seems so absurd
that this could, like there's so many cameras
on the sidelines, like how do you,
how would you get away with this?
I love how oversized his hat is.
And it just looks like such a bad disguise.
There is an honor amongst thieves when it comes to this stuff.
And a lot of people would prefer that you don't dig
into this stuff because a lot of coaches,
from whispers I have heard, do something like this, but having someone dress, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Well, he was stealing the Michigan State signs allegedly if this would be him and he played Michigan State last weekend.
So that would be, I presume the reason that people were like looking into this in the
first place because someone's watching this now going back and saying like where, you
know, was this guy on the sidelines at other games and can we catch him on film?
He couldn't have done that like from a regular seat in the stands.
Well, that's part of the allegations, but this,
this would be perhaps his greatest caper.
There was a Bruce Feldman story that came out this morning
where he interviewed a bunch of anonymous,
well, a bunch of college football coaches anonymously
and asked them to, like, say,
they're honest opinion about this.
Like, is this something that you think is a big deal?
Is this something that you do?
Should this be taken seriously? And it did seem like the overwhelming majority of college football coaches
do think that this is like so far, not necessarily the central Michigan thing because we don't know
if that's him or not. But what we do know so far, it is a really big deal and it has not,
it's not something that every team does. They don't all electronically steal signals and they're not
all flying staff across the country to like
videotape from the opposing sidelines
whether you believe that or not because i think a lot of cultural coaches have a
reason to lie about it or to at least like
pretend like they're you know
holier than that situation
that they do all seem fairly pissed off about it so no brats is playing
michigan state this weekend if you're Nebraska, you 100% higher someone that looks like that to be on your sideline,
right?
Like everyone in the Big Ten should be getting someone that looks sort of like that dressed
up on their sidelines just to get it on film, just to bring down Michigan, right?
So he allegedly went to every Big Ten stadium except for one and I know for a fact
He did not go to an Iowa game. He was like, we don't need those signs
I don't even think they have signs. We're fine Jim. We don't need it. It's either paper rock or scissors
The sign they have is a stop sign. It just says putt. I don't know
Can we just for a second though like we can sit here and talk about all
How common is this how common is this, how common
is it not, how much of an advantage does it give you, how much does it not.
But the sheer brazenness of having someone in a disguise on a staff he doesn't belong
to is one kind of hilarious.
But the next kind of hilarious is, how does no one on Jim McElwain staff look to their right or left
and ask, who is this person who is standing here with us?
I could totally see it happening.
When your staffs are all locked in on a game doing their job, if you look at a college
football sideline, there's a bunch of people that are in the background wearing team-issued polo,
so you don't know what they do.
They could be filling up Gatorade bottles,
they could be analysts hired.
When you're locked in on a game,
someone wearing a set,
they could be staffers from the administration.
You don't know, you figure if someone has a credential
and they're wearing a central Michigan polo,
someone gave them access.
Yeah, there's tons of people on the sidelines that, like Lucy and I have both been on the
sidelines of College Football Games and you just kind of blend in with the crowd a lot.
You work in the media, you see an immediate credential, it's not a look at me, but that's
fine.
I'll take it.
I'm very cool.
There's a lot of people on most of these big college football staffs and if you're a
white guy with a hat, it's kind of easy to blend in.
Lucy and I might stand out.
If you're watching somebody on the sidelines
and you're not focused on the game,
let me know so we can fire that person.
You're supposed to be focused on the game, bud.
Don't be looking around.
Hey, who's this guy?
Hey, don't worry about that guy.
We're about the 11 guys right there.
I like this.
I like the idea of the staffer that finds out,
like, hey, that guy's not on our staff.
And Jim McAwayne's like, thank you.
Also clear your draw.
See ya, get outta here.
The other thing I liked from the Bruce Feldman article
that came out in the athletic was that a few reactions
were like, yeah, this is pretty crazy,
but like, it's actually even crazier that they got caught.
This is really sloppy.
Like, we're all doing something like this,
but this is by far the sloppiest operation.
This guy had a manifesto, Dan.
What is it?
Do you think this is the only time he tried this approach?
Because I need more photos in different regalia.
500 pages was the manifesto.
So do we know about the manifesto?
He wrote a manifesto with his idea of like how to make Michigan.
This was Richard Johnson from Sports Illustrated,
put this article out last week, very good reporting, everyone should go read it.
It was a manifesto about like his ideas for the Michigan football program.
And the word manifesto alone in combination with the state of Michigan should alarm people.
He hates democracy and gluten.
Can we please put up on the screen just the photo because I did not know that Jim McElwain was the central Michigan coach the most famous moment in
Jim McElwain's career
You know this isn't him. That's him. I do know it's not
That's him. We have the same face more face more thing over his ass only. We're going to need to do that investigation.
This is not Jim McElwain. We are told reportedly allegedly McElwain has denied this in the most
serious of fashions, but this is not so. It was asking a press conference. You naked on a show.
Caleb Presley of Barcel, the greatest in-depth reporting on this.
I've ever found out.
I've ever seen on it.
And they actually found the guy that was on the shark.
And Jim McAwin, there's a great moment where Jim McAwin shakes that guy's hand.
He goes over to Central Michigan.
And Jim McAwin finally meets this person that is actually on the shark.
And that man, of course, was was Connor Stallion in a disguise. It's obvious this
isn't the shark picture isn't Jim McElayne because a college football coach is
not gonna have that good of a tan. They're always crouton. They're not anywhere
with their shirt off and this guy's got a very obvious ask to shirt tan line.
How does that man feel? The man who's not Jim Mc's not gym? It looks happy there.
Yeah, there.
He was a good sport about it.
You can give a one set.
But maybe he was a good sport about it.
When you make it on a shark, I don't think
that you really care, Dad.
You may not.
I do wonder, though, if people who love that person
wonder to themselves, whether they
want to see all of him go viral, how's the shark feel?
No one asks that question.
I think he feels great.
They're in second place in their division in the Mac right now.
They feel a little rough to the touch by the way.
Big win over Northern Illinois last night.
I mean, I have the shark feel emotionally.
Oh, the shark and this part gets overlooked
because it takes a dark turn.
The shark is dead.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Dad! Aw!
Yeah.
Sorry.