The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Tony's Lawn Mowing Adventure
Episode Date: August 22, 2024The focus on Chris Cote playing with his drawstrings continues -- honestly, you should probably be watching the show today --Â as we discuss Stephen A.'s accusations against Dan, the art of trying to ...get aggregated, and Mike Greenberg landing yet another role at ESPN. Then, what are the 13 worst jobs in America? And can you raw dog your work day? Plus, Tony shares the story of doing his best to cut his lawn, and Dan was blown away by Ana Navarro's speech at last night's DNC. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome to the Big Sui! Presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
A podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcasts.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this show. A podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're
just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face and the habitual liar. Man to Nowhere, Fat Face, and The Habitual Liar. We have struggled over the last three years
trying to get this to the video product.
You guys are still laughing and playing
with the damn drawstring again.
He's twirling it on his finger.
He's twirling it around in a cute little butthole.
He's so frickin' cute.
The Panthers made some of you care about this show
and the Panthers and hockey because you were tied
to our allegiances.
Mike Ryan's Heat allegiances, his Panther allegiances,
Roy's Panther allegiances.
The Cody's care about nothing in sports the way they care
about the Dolphins.
So Chris Cody is sitting next to the quarterback
who represents the greatest hope this franchise has had this century.
And he's nervous and he's scared and he knows what he's in the middle of.
All right take this off the screen it's available on YouTube.
Like I can't do this on the show I can't look at this anymore.
Had a nice little flare of the arms there added something immediately tugs down the shorts.
I am schvitzing right now.
Chris only.
Charles Schvitzing right now. Chris only.
The drawstrings are back.
Chris, only 10 more minutes of this.
There are only 10 more minutes of you.
I need deodorant.
Did you have sweat stains?
So freaking cute.
I have them now.
Like just watching this back is making me sweat.
I don't like this.
You're so cute.
God, I wanna hug you.
What am I doing?
I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I left that.
I was in my car.
You could have told me, did you play with your drawstrings
that I would have been like, not once, not once.
I have no recollection of ever touching my drawstrings.
That is a complete, just nervous thing I'm doing there.
Gingerly pinching them right there.
Now I do the rest of the arms on the belly move.
No, drawstrings are back, drawstrings are back.
Chris, so just not to interview you about this interview
that we've already talked about four days too many,
but everything that happened there,
your appraisal as you're walking through that parking lot,
sweating and wondering how people practice,
it's because you're sweating on the way to your car.
You were saying, we crushed it, I crushed it,
and we had a good work day.
Yes, I was like, we crushed it.
This is gonna be good content,
two of said stuff.
Like I was like feeling really good.
I did have, like I already said,
I did have in the back of my head,
please, hopefully this isn't one of those times
where I look really fat.
But you know, you live and you learn.
And now he's tying them.
Now he's untying them.
Christ.
Yes, that's not playing with the drawstrings.
Oh my God, this is like when Chris Varley interviewed Paul McCartney
It's like remember when you were in the Beatles to elect me
He does we could hang out there definitely is a chemistry going on right there except when you're playing with your drawstrings
You think to a left that almost like dude did not stop playing with this
Kid would be a good hang. I think that's what he left. They're saying
Everybody does like Chris Cody.
I'm just curious, Chris, in all the places
where this video played yesterday,
do you think somewhere sweeping across ESPN
as it's on video, there's an executive somewhere saying,
didn't we let that guy go?
And they regretted it right there.
There's a talent scout somewhere going,
damn it, who's in the middle?
Yeah.
Everyone shut up for a second.
Who?
What's his name?
Who's he rep by?
When's his deal up?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Everyone shut up, I'm drawstring.
Drawstrings is available, he's a free agent.
Ooh, I like that move.
He's a free agent.
He's really making tool comfortable
with those drawstrings.
Find out his status.
Stat, I need to know who reps drawstring.
I saw Stephen A using this tactic yesterday
while interviewing someone.
He must have seen it and been like, that's good.
My new favorite feature of this interview
is the way your eyes just go bug-eyed all of a sudden
sometimes.
You just open your eyes wide and you look around.
Sometimes you're looking at Dan.
But I think each time there, if we had the audio on that,
I'm guessing that what you'd see is that is Chris
legitimately discovering, oh, Tua just
said something interesting there.
He surprised me.
I was not expecting that.
I think that happened four or five times to Chris's face.
What are you doing?
Man, the air guitar fell so flat. That made me sweat. He was like, what? Back to the draw shirt. Because I was like, oh, you have a guitar, right? Four or five times to Chris's face
Because I was like oh you have a guitar right your guitar player you don't have it with you How about how's your how's your air guitar? I hit him
You didn't have any recollection of you touching your
Consecutive minutes I would have bet you you $100 that I didn't touch my drawstrings once.
He touched the tips gingerly of each drawstring.
I mean, come on, if you're touching drawstrings, you touch the tips.
That's what you do.
You're either tying or touching tips.
Oh, my God.
I hate this so much.
You can feel the sweat. Can you feel the sweat on my arm?
I feel for you.
We have rarely done this for an hour, trampolining on somebody.
People are writing in, wait a minute,
you guys don't actually like each other's jokes that much.
Why is everyone roaring with fake laughter?
And I'm like, this is as happy
as I've seen this group in a year.
I'm happy I got scheduled today, so happy.
Chris content.
This is making me so happy.
Fake laughter.
Well, in a shrinking media market,
I do want to ask you this, Chris Cody,
because I think there's a lane for you here.
Like, there are many people at the sports media trough.
Everyone is making content, and content
is being consumed everywhere.
And I have found, I mean, that the evolution of the take has put us in a
place where Emmanuel Accio is like the new computer on how it is to talk to an
audience saying twice as many words as need to be said, at least in part because
you often have to fill two hours when you only have one hour's worth of news,
and so everybody on these shows everywhere in their life, me included, get too talkative
because of the amount of time you're asked to make content. But Emanuel Atchle looks
to me like the evolution of the take creature that I have not seen before, where it is very calculated for attention.
And I know that Bayless, you know, spawned that original,
he's the OG of that stuff.
But to see it evolved in a young athlete
who's trying to get aggregated,
like actively trying to get aggregated
with things that he's saying,
has a level of self-awareness in it
that I think is surprising to me,
to have it be that craven.
The human algorithm, right?
Like, it's completely bred in this environment
of have to have an opinion on everything, right?
And that opinion has to be delivered with the gravitas.
I know a lot, and you don't know anything,
and I'm gonna explain it to you.
Here's how, right?
Like that's every kind of take that he delivers
is of that nature.
And I think you're saying that he's self-aware.
I think he's self-aware that he's delivering a take.
I think he thinks his takes are impeccable.
Like I think he really thinks he's delivering.
I don't think he's like,
watch me shovel this pablum and watch them fall's delivering. I don't think he's like, watch me shovel this pablum
and watch them fall for it.
I don't think he's thinking that.
I think he's thinking, oh, I got him with this one.
They're not ready for this.
And instead, I think many of us look at it as,
that's kind of real banal analysis that you're given.
The reason I asked the question of you is because There's a seat open on Fox and Chris is saying the talent scouts are noticing old drawstrings here
I think I got an email. I think you Paul Pierce and Keyshawn Johnson
I don't know who's gonna get in any of those seats, right?
I don't do you guys know where skip Bayless is gonna end up footballs about to start. He's gonna be on somewhere, right? He's not
It doesn't appear so.
And there's actually been a fair amount of conjecture
that that show's just gonna go away.
Wow.
And they'll create new shows.
And they're making hire, Danny Parkins appears to be
on his web blog. I'm saying new seats
are about to become available,
and you may have noticed that Mike Greenberg
has gotten another job at ESPN, yes.
Has he?
Oh, that's great news, I'm so happy for that.
That young man has been grinding.
For him to finally get an opportunity like that,
that is huge.
Do you think he ever gets to do the cycle
and host like Baseball Tonight at some point
and then also NHL Tonight?
And then now he's done all four.
Cause now he's done NBA Countdown
and he's done NFL Countdown.
That's two big ones on his Thanos glove. He still needs to host baseball tonight.
And then, what's the hockey one called?
Is it called NHL tonight?
Or does it have a hockey night in America?
Again, though, woke ESPN, letting go of Sam Ponder
and a clear DEI hire there,
replacing her with Mike Greenberg.
Woke ESPN, always doing things like that, as you know.
How does this?
He's a great broadcaster.
Those things are harder to do than you can imagine.
The hosting of making those things smooth
is harder than you can imagine.
Dan, I'm confused because there's still this narrative,
and I think a lot of these people are operating in bad faith
when I guess it gets clicks and traction
that ESPN is woke and they just made this decision clearly
because of the Algerian boxer thing.
We'll just bypass the RG3 thing
and we'll just make this about the Sam Ponder thing,
which is just like in bad faith
because I'm really confused
as to how this narrative still exists
in large part due to me not working at ESPN anymore
because of where we fell
on the political spectrum over there.
And you can say what you want,
I think everyone is deduced that we're gone
because of being political, I guess,
even though I'd argue against that largely.
I think we were making societal points and observations,
but we're not there,
and it's not because we weren't woke enough for Disney.
That's not what happened.
Mike, we were once a very woke show,
but then I came down here on behalf of Roger Goodell and I brought us back baby.
I dragged you guys right of center.
And you guys, you don't know it, Dan, but I guess you're finding out now.
You're in cahoots.
Thank you. I appreciate finally someone explaining it to me.
Only made better if one of us had been in a uniform.
And I still need to decide what that uniform should be
because fighter pilots is ridiculous.
Come on, Jumpsons.
This is the line.
I'm losing weight.
What?
I'm doing it.
No, please don't.
I just, this is.
I say this like three times a year,
but this is one of them.
We're shaming you into a diet? This segment? I mean, it is, I say this like three times a year, but this is one of them. I'm losing weight.
We're shaming you into a diet?
This segment, that's a lifestyle change.
You guys are commenting on how awkward I am, my face,
this is just me looking at the chest area
and just being like, it's time.
I'm sorry.
That slow turn, look at two and then slow turn back.
I just wanna know what's going on
through your mind right now, Chris.
Why am I in the middle?
We have a Peloton partnership if you'd like to explain.
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Don LeBattard. Cheaters never prosper. Stugats. I ain't cheatin'. This is the Don
LeBattard show with the Stugats. Let's go, Gats! Does this guitarist feel good about...
JT Daily?
Yeah, he felt great.
From our chart-top topping number one musical.
But does he feel great thinking back to the time working in boxes, forgive me for forgetting
JT's name, working amid boxes to try and make people who can't sing make a musical. It's
one of the great achievements of Metal Arch Media which will soon celebrate with uniforms.
Yeah. Have an update on that. Again, if we get you at the hierarchy at the top of the great achievements of Metal Arc Media, which will soon celebrate with uniforms.
Yeah.
Have an update on that.
Again, if we get you at the hierarchy
at the top of the food chain,
top of the pyramid with what you wanna wear,
then we can fill out the rest of it.
I've already had people reach out to me,
tell me that they can make a uniform possible.
We just gotta get yours fitted first,
and then we can work our way down.
So you're clearly a five star, right?
Because you have five star generals,
and we should invoke the military,
because basically I want at least three and a half stars.
That's what I'm angling for.
Well, thank you for bringing up the military,
because I was looking at a list, you know,
sports people love lists of the worst jobs in the world.
And military was number one, which isn't something
that I would have considered beforehand
I would have thought something in sewage
Something deep in the bowels of the sea having to fix sewage pipes would would be where I would go with some of them
I would nominate sitting in the middle
Awkwardly of an interview with someone you admire but what would you guys nominate because we have great jobs
These are ridiculous jobs anytime any of us are complaining about our jobs it has to be laughable to people who
legitimately work for a living or the great many people that we keep company
because they're in jobs that they don't like and we make the job go by a little
faster because they're not thinking about how miserable they are in their
jobs but what are the worst jobs because that I like that television show. That'll grab
me for nine minutes every time. Worst jobs television show? If that's on anywhere, I
will stop for a second and just be grateful for my life as I see someone having to do
some job that I couldn't possibly do.
Recruiting coordinator. I don't speak from experience. I just assume that recruiting high schoolers around the clock
is a very difficult thing.
I submit to you guys, I discovered what the worst job
in America at least is, I won't speak
for the rest of the world.
Can you stop for a second though,
do you mind if I just give this list,
because I don't think that yours is going to be on this list.
Definitely not on any list.
So let me just give you a countdown of 13 worst jobs.
Number 13 is roofer.
Number 12 is pest control technician.
Number 11 is firefighter.
Number 10 is construction.
Number 9 is personal care attendant
8 is photographer
7 line cook 6 cleaner
5 telemarketer
4 retail sales associate 3 fast food attendant 1 taxi driver
I'm sorry 2 taxi driver and one military soldier. I thought it was Christmas
Raiders head coach not on the list
What would you go with the mean you you because those didn't seem like those are just jobs
Those are jobs the jobs and they all have their struggles Stan. They all have their difficulties, but I
upon arriving in Miami
This let this trip right here that I'm here on I discovered what the worst job is and they all have their difficulties, but I, upon arriving in Miami,
this trip right here that I'm here on,
I discovered what the worst job is.
I step off the plane, I'm walking through the concourse,
exit, go out down these escalators,
down to where Baggers claim ride share pickup is,
and before you exit these sliding doors,
there's a big sign that says,
after you go past this line, you can never go back.
And in order to enforce that,
there is a TSA agent who sits right there,
who is not allowed to use their phone
and does not have someone else with them to talk to.
They just have to sit there with their eyes open,
staring at people walk out, making sure no one walks in.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's the worst job in America.
I'm imagining if there's a rotation,
they all have to do that once a shift for an hour,
or it's like there's one guy that's like, this is my thing.
I do this, I don't do anything else.
Chris, if it's an hour or if it's eight hours.
Oh, it's bad, yeah, I'm with you.
It's an awful, you can't do anything.
You can't read a paper. And I feel like if someone walks just past the door
and they realize they forgot their phone on the plane,
I'm letting them back in.
I'm like, go right ahead.
That's your ass.
You go right ahead.
I just saw you, I'm security, and I just saw,
it's not like-
You're in cahoots.
You've committed a federal crime of some sort here.
I just know that this person just walked by me.
If there's any doubt, I don't let him in.
It's the only low-level job in which if you mess up just once
you could be arrested, fined, and imprisoned. But he forgot his phone on the plane. I just saw him walk by.
You gotta go. You're gonna go walk right past the security again.
I want you guys to imagine the person who's been sitting in that seat
silently without distraction for 40 years trying to get to retirement and this is the day that you've stepped
over that person's gonna hit you with four decades of resentment on you stay
over there you're not allowed back in here that's not a happy person yet that
is the job he's describing is terrible we can't that with the addictions we now
have to stimuli it i am giving someone solitary confinement to tell them to just
sit there for seven hours and you're got you got a raw dog it you got that's it's seven
hours just sit there ultimate raw dog because then even you're talking about sewer workers
yes you smell terrible yes it's gross down there but you're doing something right number
one and number two you can pass the time you can you got some air pods on you can listen to some music
While you're doing your thing you got other people working with you you're talking this thing you can't do anything
You just have to sit there and take it does that sound like torture it has to be the young people in our audience
Because there are very few among us, whether it's yoga or
meditation that can still their mind that way.
I just don't know many of them who aren't Buddhist levitating monks.
Like I would imagine that those people would say to you, no, that's a great way to make
a living.
I could be there in my own thoughts, in my own spirit for seven hours.
You can't be in your own thoughts.
You know why?
Because someone might walk back in.
Hey, I forgot my phone.
And you're daydreaming all of a sudden.
You gotta have some level of attention.
And it's a grenade.
Not a phone.
Have you guys seen the evolution of raw dogging?
It used to be on, we talked a few months ago,
planes, you raw dog a flight,
where it's like I'm just gonna stare straight ahead.
Well, it started somewhere else.
The latest trend, workplaces, raw dogging a work day. I'm just like I'm gonna go to work. I'm not gonna answer an email
I'm not gonna make a phone call. I'm just gonna sit there
Sue gots has been doing that for 20 years
Why is it Chris that someone is doing that that seems like are you rebelling against the system?
Are you repelling against the idea of work? It's more just like can I pull it off type thing?
Like I think we just like I'd like Tony one day to try to rawdog a workday where it's like we get too late in
The show it's like as Tony said anything today. I think I'm catching Taylor raw dogging right now
You guys think do you realize what kind of punishment it would be if we made a grid of death punishment?
And I don't know if we're doing that again this year
But if we gave the punishment of you have to just sit there for seven hours
You can you can go have lunch in the middle you can in the middle you can go have lunch bathroom breaks
Yes, but it's gonna be it's gonna be three and a half hours lunch three and a half hours
That's how you're gonna do that. Do you realize what a suffering that would be
for people in this place?
You can't talk to anyone, like not even no communication.
Is there a two-way interview going on around me?
Do I have drawstrings?
Do I get drawstrings, yeah.
I think the TSA officer, if he or she has drawstrings,
they can play with said drawstrings.
Right, so that's all.
It can be distracting.
Uniform though, no drawstrings.
That's true.
You got a belt.
Go back to uniform.
I learned something, I mean, about Tony the other day
that didn't just shock me, it shocked Jessica too, actually.
I wish she were here for this because I think Jessica
is more of an outdoorsman than all of us combined.
She was shocked to learn that Tony,
for the first time recently as someone
who is now older as a dad, more responsible, checking the perimeter, growing up, that Tony
for the first time in his life, I don't know if it's because he had a Cuban dad or whether
Cuban dad paid a bunch of people to Cuban dad it.
You speak from experience?
Oh, I know. Yes. Well, my father put me, I cut lawns.
There's still a lawn in Miramar that I tore up
because I was getting, I was cutting lawns at 10 years old.
But I can have many examples of not being able
to change a tire, all sorts of things
my father did not teach me.
But cutting a lawn was one of them.
Tony cut the lawn for the first time last week.
First time in his life. Never done it, Dan. You're looking at a cutting the lawn virgin the first time last week. First time in his life.
Never done it, Dan.
You're looking at a cutting the lawn virgin right here.
Don't even know, I wouldn't even know how to start a lawnmower.
Does weed whacking count?
Because I once weed whacked like the side of my grass area.
So I weed whacked the entire lawn.
Wait, you don't have a lawnmower?
No, which I just recently found out not the way to do it.
You need to get a lawnmower.
And I was like, I got a weed whacker.
Did he mow a lawn? Well, wait a do it didn't get a lawnmower And I was like I got a weed whacker did he mow a lawn well wait a minute whacked along put it on the pole
Please juju at Levittard show can you mow a lawn with just a weed whacker?
I don't think you have you just whacked it so here's here's the issue right I grew up where my dad was like hey
We pay a guy to do the lawn service
It was like 20 bucks a week or whatever was and the guy came over and did it it and like I never had to worry about it, right? I did other hand handy tasks
around the house or whatever, but cutting lawns was one that I had never done before.
So now we move into a new place. It's a townhouse. So it's not a massive yard. It's like maybe
six feet on one side with a six foot like little kind of stone. That's a whacker with
another six on the other side. So we're talking about 12 feet possibly of that's cute
It's a lawn, right?
Small so I'm like it's getting long the yard is getting very long and my wife kind of like opens the shadings like are you
Gonna take care of that and I'm like
Don't the association guys come and do that and she's like no everything outside of the association outside of these
Fences. Yes, but inside no and I was like, okay, so I go on go on Amazon I'm like all right I can't get a riding mower because there's
six feet of grass I'm like all right next one
Top of the line. Top of the line John Deere.
Your power move up.
You turn on the lawnmower and you cut the lawnmower.
I just give it a one up, one down.
Twenty seven hundred dollars.
When I do something I do it big.
So I know I couldn't go riding mower.
So the next one is push mower.
But I'm like push mower with gas and all that stuff.
It's like it's not that big.
It's like one square and I'm done.
So I'm not going to spend five hundred all that stuff. It's like it's not that big. So I get like
It's like one square and I'm done. So I'm gonna spend 500 bucks on a push more. Come on tone I don't think you've cut a lawn yet. If you cut a square of grass, it's not cutting a lawn. It's my lawn though
I'm like I don't battery powder. So so I went so I went alright, what's the next tier down?
It's like this three in one weed whacker with an edger
With also like this little thing you put the weed whacker with an edger with also like this little thing
You put the weed whacker in that turns it into a lawnmower. So I'm like, oh, yeah
So I start I start
Was it Roby? It's uh, yeah, it's something like that. No, it's black and Decker
I think good old black and Decker so I look I'm a Robie guy. So I have it there and I'm like
Whatever sounds like you look good
You bought you bought a turbo powered machine that makes It sounds like you look good. You bought a turbo-powered machine
that makes it look like you have a lifetime of gardening
at your back.
The issue is this.
I didn't realize it, but it wasn't battery-powered.
It's corded.
So I have to plug in an extension cord
and then plug that cord into the wall.
So I actually have to.
It's the Curly Q Mento sign.
So I have this line behind me.
I'm like, ah!
So I'm pushing it, meh.
And then I look at what I've done, and I'm like, this thing didn't'm pushing it rare and then I look at what I've done and I'm like
This thing didn't do anything
Like it didn't cut shit
So I took the weed whacker out and then I start getting the weed whacker like hand on and then I just start man
Just cutting it through right shaving right through razor
What I didn't realize is as my wife is watching behind me taking a video of me doing said job
Which I'm gonna see if I can send it to the video team.
Yes, please can get all.
Bill Paxson with a flamethrower and aliens.
Basically.
What I realized was I can't really
gauge how low I'm going with the weed whacker
to make everything uniform.
So I'm doing it, but I'm like, buzz, buzz.
And it's like cutting all the way down to the dirt
and like spinning the dirt up.
Tony, when I say there is a lawn in Miramar that I ruined as a ten-year-old because you can't trust a ten-year-old with
A lawnmower and I had the settings the rotary blades were too low
And so I just but the lawnmower kept going out because I kept just hacking up the lawn
It's been 30 years these people have not been able to fix their lawn from what it is. I did wait a minute
It's been it's been 45 years
Dan you didn't dead 20 years old
Tony's lawn is looking like Antonio Brown's haircut. It literally does like there's some patches that are just dirt
There's some that are grass or some like weeds that I didn't really cut right because they were in the roots
It was a disaster
Luckily, I got everything done in about an hour and my wife was videotaping and telling me how bad it looked and I was like, hey, this is my first time. I've never
cut the lawn before. My bad. But I think I need to upgrade my weed whacker to maybe something
a little bit easier that I can push. But again, it's, I don't want to sound like you've got
a three, the, what you've described is a three pronged machine of, uh, that any man would
enjoy having that anybody who's ever held a power tool,
it sounds like you got the kind of weed whacker
that you went out into the yard,
I'm putting it in quote marks, but you.
Grass patch.
But you were excited, you were excited to go do this,
that you were gonna be able to give it a quick trim
and it was gonna be easy and instead it was just butchery,
it was hackery.
It's that I've seen the guys that do it for the association,
obviously trained professionals that have been doing it
for a long time, come in,
boo, all right, and they're done.
My other issue, what I didn't think about,
as the grass got higher,
there's really no where for the grass to go once I cut it.
You need a blower.
I didn't get a blower.
So now the grass is not only cut,
but sitting on the grass that I already cut.
So I'm like, damn, it didn't do anything.
Like what?
What?
You know that they have a video game.
It's a lawnmower simulator.
Why don't you try that?
It's actually pretty popular because it's super satisfying.
Why don't you take that thing for a spin?
See what kind of hog you like.
Do you guys like on TikTok,
the guy that walks through neighborhoods
and sees really crazy overgrown and he knocks on the door say I want to do it for you for free
and then he it's like sped up but they cuts the whole oh that's satisfying it
is he does it for old people does it not people who can't cut who can't care of
their own lawn like Tony like Tony and on so many Cuban boys I'm telling you
I what I want wanna do is next time
the Association guys come, just kinda pick my head out.
People, just tell them,
Oye, te voy a dar 20 peso.
Te voy a abrir la regla aqui.
Just pass it through for two seconds, that's it.
That's one plan.
Or you can pull up on your hog and say,
what are you guys on?
Oh yeah, that's a power move right there.
I wanted to, a lot of people ask
me and I don't have an easy explanation here, they ask me about Cuban politics in
Miami and where it is that I get called un gusano, a worm for going against my
people with things that are viewed as liberal but i wanted to talk to a mean about this as well as someone who i'm not gonna say that if
you have to flee some place necessarily that you value freedom more than most
but you probably do have it more front of mind than the average person who
might have grown up in America because it gets passed
down through your family and America is viewed as the standard ideal for where everyone else
wants to be.
Florida is viewed as a paradise.
But I am surrounded in Florida by a whole lot of Cubans who do not think like me and I do not understand how we can all look at Trump and I see someone
who's headed clearly toward dictator and my people don't really see that when they see Trump.
So I just wanted to play from the DNC last night. Anna Navarro, she's a Nicaraguan media person,
commentator, political commentator.
Was a right wing, she was a Republican prior to,
I guess, 2016, and kind of the events of everything
that happened in 2016, there on, she kind of found herself,
I don't wanna say switching sides, but definitely
on the wrong side of the aisle from her Republican brethren.
Charge.
And so when I watch what is happening in American politics and discourse, like I can't help
but hear my parents and grandparents talking about propaganda and misinformation and what
communism looks like and what authoritarian and dictator behavior looks like, not unique
to Cuba. So we will get other perspectives here and I'm curious for a means on these words.
Donald Trump and his minions call Kamala a communist.
I know communism.
I fled communism from Nicaragua when I was eight years old.
I don't take it lightly.
And let me tell you what
communist dictators do. And it's never just for one day. They attack the free press. They
call them the enemy of the people, like Ortega does in Nicaragua. They put their unqualified
relatives in cushy government jobs
so they can get rich of their positions,
like the Castros do in Cuba.
And they refuse to accept legitimate elections
when they lose and call for violence to stay in power,
like Maduro is doing right now in Venezuela.
Now, you tell me something.
Do any of those things sound familiar?
Is there anybody running for president
who reminds you of that?
And I know one thing, it's not Kamala Harris.
That is not the America we love.
It's not the land of freedom we treasure.
Last night, we heard President Biden say
that he loves his job, but he loves his country more.
Every American needs to love our country more.
Every American has the duty to put our country first.
Country first before party.
Country first before political ambition.
Country first before habit.
And in this election, putting country first means
one thing and one thing only, voting for Kamala Harris.
What does this have to do with sports?
I can't see the tie in.
I mean, what do you hear when you hear that?
Yeah, I mean, like, look, she makes all the points
that I kind of feel and I've expressed on this show
in the years past, or it's like,
dude, I know what it looks like
and it looks, that's how it starts.
All of these kind of, I don't know if you wanna call them
microaggressions, at this point they're just
aggressions, aggressions against things
that are pillars of democracy.
And the idea that like, if you don't like how things
are going, you just attack those things,
attack those pillars, which are supposed to be off limits.
We can attack one another, but there's some things
that are supposed to be sacred, and one of them,
and the pillars of democracy are those things.
And so, I grew up in a country where democracy
was overthrown by a military slash religious fundamentalist government.
And one of the things I always point to is, you know,
like their first go-to move is if you're not with us,
you're going to hell.
Like God is on our side.
And so if God has anointed us and anyone who stands
against us clearly stands with the devil, are you a non-believer or whatever? And that's the
justification they had for literal genocide, a civil war that ended up splitting the country
in two. There's a reason why there's a South Sudan is because the fundamentalist government
was hell-bent on this religious war, if you want to call
it that. I think it was more about resources and control, but the way you get the people
on the side.
This is a religious war that's happening in America right now.
But it's not. It isn't. It isn't.
But it's disguised as one.
It's disguised as, okay, so we're going to use religion as the reason why we're doing
the things we're doing, because we believe that, you know, human life begins at conception.
And all those things, those buzzwords and catchphrases that they use, including holding
up a Bible upside down, it's to signify, hey, everyone who disagrees with this, they're
with the devil.
You don't want to be with them. Speaking of the devil, Arizona State, Big 12 now, new conference. It's now you got the Colorado
Buffaloes back in that conference. It's a whole new frontier for the Big 12. And I'm curious,
your thoughts as they try to rebuild that great Sun Devil program, I mean, you're close to it in
Arizona. I am. Well, your thoughts on the program that they're building
because you see your rival,
Jed Fish did a great job with Wildcats,
but now he's going to the Pacific Northwest.
So the state is back up for grabs.
How do you think the Sun Devils are positioned
within the Big 12?
You know what this reminds me of?
I don't even know if I'm allowed to say this out loud,
but I will.
You remember the Adam McKay podcast idea
where he was gonna have like an NBA player
and then a climate change scientist on the same podcast
and literally his questions would go like NBA player,
hey, what did you think of the moves
that the Denver Nuggets did in the off season
or lack thereof?
And then NBA player would answer the questions.
And then speaking of changes that were not made,
climate change scientists,
what happens if we don't decrease our carbon footprint
by the year 2055?
And then the guy gives a very serious
climate science answer.
And then something in that answer says,
ah, that reminds me of something. And he goes back to the NBA guy and asks an NBA question.
For me, it was hilarious.
But I wonder, Dan, how did you experience that
as you were watching it unfold?
We never heard it.
Oh.
I also want to distance myself from the political talk
on this show just because I have a long con
that I'm trying to achieve and I
need it can't be a a switch that is flipped just like that. I need for it to be believable as I
transition into the nation's most preeminent conservative sports media personality. Mike,
as fascinated as I am by this we have to watch this video right now. I want you to do this Mike,
work on this. I want you to do this Mike work on this
I want you to become this personality. Let's find a name for him. Let's get a metal arc media uniform
But here is Tony weed whacking his long in pantoufla
Those are the like that thing wasn't doing shit
No, those are the like that thing wasn't doing shit dude It's like a Fisher-Price thing
It's like the three piece so at a certain point I'm like alright
I gotta get rid of this thing, but as you can see there's some dirt marks that I've heard
He's got good style
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