The Dick Show - Episode 143 - Dick on Wet Jeans
Episode Date: February 26, 2019Wet jeans, throwing up coffee, the anti-aging tease, normalizing normalization, the $100 call-in contest, kids at bars, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts" gets Job Lynch Mobbed by "The Vanished" podca...st, super cancer for the offended, The Rommel calls in, and getting a nice home for Hitomi Tanaka; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
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Well hundreds of men the heart wants what the heart wants.
Are we on now?
Yeah. What beer is that?
I don't know.
Oh man. Today's going gonna be a mess.
Yeah, it's really gonna be a mess.
Oh, good show.
Good, good show. Good show.
I mean, you know, because I am
as well as suspects.
Yeah, maybe we should just start recording.
And then I can talk about it.
It told me Tanaka until I get tired of things to say.
Nick is live with Doug.
Oh, hey, hey.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, so wait a minute,
are there this competition to?
Yes, so, yeah.
Son of a bitch.
Nick, well, you open the door and he just owns the fucking house.
Yeah, he's got a, he's got a hell of a campaign going.
He got ear in his first lockout of Twitter because of it.
Really?
Oh, today he is a man.
Yeah, he is.
Yeah, I got banned again.
You did.
Yeah.
Okay, let's try this. Yeah. Um, okay.
Let's try this.
What was I, I was talking about it so I'm a snaka.
Yeah, and her
variously sized breasts.
Ha ha ha.
Well, one is so much bigger.
Yeah.
When I beat, sometimes I cover one eye.
Ha ha ha.
When I'm beating off their, yeah.
Yeah. Ha. Welcome to dig, you want dig, you love dig, you need to get it, is this y'all?
Where everything's a contest coming to you live from Mount and Buck are deep in the heart
of the city of failure.
I'm your host, McMaster.
Okay, the $20 million man, voter to America's best Mexican, 24 weeks running.
I got a tie into the episode number so I can remember it.
So I don't have to do math in my head.
I'm in no state to do math with me as always.
There's LA based comedian, Sean.
The audio engineer.
You're looking tip tops today, Dick.
So I just threw up coffee, motherfucker.
Did you really?
I've never thrown up coffee before in my life
that is not an experience I want to relive.
That's what you're doing in there?
Yeah.
Throwin' up coffee.
Good for you.
That's pretty as fit.
Pretty acidic though.
On a stomach that you're not quite sure
what went into it last night.
On a Sunday, on the Lord's Day.
On coffee.
Sounds like a Johnny Cash song.
Boom, boom.
Yeah.
Ah, threw up coffee in the morning.
Yeah, yep, yep.
Killed a man at night.
Yeah.
Notice to Tommy Tsunakis' tits are different sizes.
Give me quite a fright.
Oh, I ran.
Then I ran a train.
I just wanted to give her a home.
That's what I was saying.
All I want, I just want to give for Tommy Tnaka a nice home.
Yeah, but she wants to gangbang hundreds of men.
Well, who, that's what you have to deal with as a man.
That's a man's, that's a man's lot in life.
You just want to give Tommy Tnaka a nice home,
but she wants to run trains on you as a man.
Well, you see, she has to want to change.
That's real.
It's real.
Yeah, that's all be honest. That's a real thing.
But she can house like an entire city of midgets under her tits. One of them. Yeah.
But one of them, I don't know, man. The other one is not small. The other one is reasonably
sized, but one of them is just monstrous. I know. It's like a honeydew versus a watermelon.
Yeah. That's why I was saying I cover when I be, I's like a honey dude versus a watermelon. Yeah, that's why I was saying, I cover one eye.
Depending if I want the wife or the train.
So, well, as I cover the eyes to look at one of her tits
and then cover the other eye.
You're such a tit man, you don't care about proportion at all.
Do you?
Nah.
Wow, yeah, that's.
No.
I would beat off over the word tits,
if you just wrote it out.
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
I got it, I got it.
I got it beat on, man.
I don't care about a proportion at all, you're saying?
Well, I mean, because those are sweet.
Freakishly different sizes.
Well, no, just because they're so big on her.
You don't ever think that,
you don't ever think that looks weird. I think everything about women looks weird
I'll just say it like yeah, too big oh get out too big get out
Get out of here. Get out of here you sick. It almost looks comical get out of you. Yes. Yeah
Go ahead Sean is looking at the gift a nice gentleman. This Get out of here. Yes. Yeah. Like a cartel. Go ahead.
Sean is looking at the gift and nice gentleman.
This is a pants sentence.
Yes.
This is a Tommy Tanaka soft core of gravity or.
But it's a, it's a crass term.
Okay.
But it looks sloppy to me.
Oh, yes.
I have to go rub one out just over that.
Yes.
See, okay.
I'm talking about this shot.
This shot right here.
All right. Looks pretty good. Okay. Pretty good. No, I. I'm talking about this shot, this shot right here. All right.
Looks pretty good.
Okay.
Pretty good.
No, I mean, pretty good.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that pornography, that's the off-core pornography picture, you would,
they would qualify as pretty good.
I know.
They look like they're not ridiculous.
But then there's somewhere you're like, yeah, see, depends how she displays them.
But I know, what are you looking at that's pretty good.
I know, it's show it to me so everybody can see it.
I did.
Turn it around.
Okay.
No, this looks good.
You've ever seen anything better than that?
It looks great.
It looks great.
I'll give you that.
A plus.
But then there's some where you know if she takes that off
and she's on her back, those things are liable to go
to each side of her body.
Like, yeah, well, you know,
then you gotta work their arms.
You know with women, I don't know if this is weird.
Are you saying it's the constant?
It's the constant.
Hold your arm away from your body.
So the tricep doesn't look flabby in a photo.
I mean, it's like a constant.
Am I the only one that positions women's arms when we're having sex?
Like, okay, well, just like, no, no, no, no, no, I see that you're kind of getting
too into it and wiggling around, like waving your shit around.
It really art different sizes, too.
Yeah, they're way different sizes.
It's great.
It's provocative.
Draws you in. It's intriguing. It's
intrigued. You do have a mystery that you want to look at your boner wants to solve. That's
the beauty of all me. It's a knife. I call him Sherlock.
Sure, cock. Sure, cock.
Sure, cock homes.
There are cock homes. Elementary might be why you never said that. No, it really never
said that. You never said that's one of those things
that people just misattribute the quote
or is it anything similar to that?
No, he never said that anything.
Not in any of the books.
No, wow.
He said Watson, don't be a fucking idiot.
Oh, he said that all the time.
All right, and we're welcome to say that though,
didn't he?
Elementary?
No, no.
Then where do people get that from?
Was it for us?
I don't know.
Where do people get anything?
Yeah, they just make shit up. I hate how quotes get bastardized over
the over the years and they get they get changed most of the time to make it seem much better
than the actual quote was. Hemingway had a lot of those where like what?
There's one that sounds really epic. Like on a statement on its own,
where he says the world breaks everyone
and afterward some are strong at the broken places, right?
That's kind of cool.
But really what he says is,
really what he says is the world breaks everyone
and afterward many are strong at the broken places.
But the very good, and he goes on to say that
like the world basically kills the very good, very quickly and the rest of us, it just like
whatever shitties. So he's not saying, he's not saying that there, he's not saying that
the positive atherism. It's not a pet. Yeah, it's not a positive thing that's, because
it, oh, like many are strong at the broken place as opposed to like the select few, like
the world breaks everyone,
but some people get through it.
You know what I mean?
It completely changes the quote.
Have you ever even read any of his books?
I read out of high school.
The old man on the sea in high school.
No, I think because I didn't read it in high school.
I read it out for fun.
Yeah, I read it because it was like,
oh, him and I all the guys.
I like 100 pages.
It's like a pamphlet. Yeah, I was, I read it because it was like, oh, him and wow, the guy. I like 100 pages, it's like a pamphlet.
Yeah, I was, what's the big fucking deal?
I don't know, for whom the bell tolls
is supposed to be won, it was like, I mean, I don't know.
It seemed like he lived a more interesting life
than as an, than he was an author, I don't know.
I don't even know what I thought of it.
Neither.
Yeah, I don't think I, yeah, whatever.
Didn't change my life.
Everybody knows and know, thank God for, whatever. Didn't change my life.
Everybody knows and know, thank God for school, or we wouldn't have this shared compendium
of those villains and heroes to talk about.
But there's people who, the catcher and the rye, changed their life.
And I think that book is shit.
I didn't read it.
Yeah.
I didn't read it.
I think it's more there.
So anytime everyone says, Beowulf, I'm like, you fucking idiot.
I think it's more, I think it's more famous because
Salinger was such a recluse.
Like that's what he did
and then went into hiding for 50 fucking years.
And it's like, I mean, the book is,
we're going to Australia.
We're going to Australia.
I can't believe it.
It's awesome.
I can't fucking believe it.
I can't wait.
It's gonna be fantastic.
We're gonna, we're there.
We're gonna fuck spiders. Awe, spiders. Yeah, we're gonna, watch out. We're gonna, we're there. We're gonna fuck spiders.
Funnel web spiders.
Yeah, we're gonna,
watch out.
Find every spider in Australia and fuck it.
They use teeth.
I'm gonna fuck the crocodiles of Australia.
Saltees.
I'm gonna find anything.
The jellyfish.
Yeah, I'm gonna plant my seed in a jellyfish.
You got blue ringed octopus.
I'm gonna fuck an octopus.
The venomous is all fuck.
I'm gonna fuck every single.
Venomous is all fuck. Cone snails. Typans, venomous is all fuck. I'm gonna fucking- Konstales.
Venomus is all fuck.
Konstales.
Typans, Venomus is all fuck.
I was fuck both of those.
Yeah.
I'm talking about platapus.
Venomus is all fuck.
What else?
I don't know.
Kangaroo?
I'll definitely fuck a kangaroo.
Yeah.
Right in that pouch.
Bam.
Oh man.
Whatever's going on in there.
I don't know.
Well you might get a little Joey with a small face
It's gonna pop out of there. Yeah, whoo Joey with a small face. They name it dick. Is that yeah, that's what I'm talking about
I saw the grosses the kangaroo the the babies come out like a little lima bean
Yeah, the tiny crawl up into the pouches sit there. Yeah, I saw that at one point. Yep. And it grossed me out forever.
Yeah, somebody really turned me off kangaroos.
Have you seen that guy?
Have you seen that guy's videos a real true facts?
No, where he narrates nature videos and gives you facts,
but it's fucking, it's their hilarious.
Somewhere, yeah, he's like watching it
and he's like, he starts laughing.
Like when the thing, it goes, it looks like a dog's dick trying to escape.
We're going to Australia. We're doing Melbournei on the 12th. Sydney 420.
Wow. It's really happening. It's really happening. It's gonna be a lot of excitement. I'm getting a lot of emails. I'm excited as fuck. We're going international. This is a real internet. This is just some shit that
I pulled out of my ass. I know. Have been lying about for years since the show, since we started doing
these road rage things. And now we're actually going to do it. It's amazing. For real international show,
I think Peach said she's going to be there. Oh, yeah. Well, cool. Cool.
Cool. Cool. Shit. Wow. Fantastic. So I'll put the tickets up for the website. They already went
out for Patreons, but I'll put them up on the side. Yeah. Yeah. Can't wait to see everybody there.
Getting some fights. Yeah. Maybe, maybe Chris, the key we will show up and chop some tits off.
Oh, boy. Finger boomerangs. That's the opening show, is that the...
I want everybody to show up in like,
crocodile hunter, little short shorts.
That's what I imagine.
And those bent hats.
Jesus.
Ah!
Ah!
I don't know if you know this.
Australia's where you call an enemy mate
and a friend, Cunt. That's what you call an enemy mate and a friend cunt.
That's what I've been to.
A little bit.
Yeah.
I mate.
I mate.
If you hear that, you have problems.
Okay.
Yeah.
Mate.
Yeah.
They're like, hey, pal.
Yeah.
One of those.
Yeah.
I totally forgot what I was going to say because I'm,
I told me to knock. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was of age. It is a fucking ripoff, man.
It is a ripoff.
And every time I hear anything about anti-aging science,
it makes me insane because I know it's not coming.
And if it is coming, it's coming for other people.
Oh yeah, there's going to be a generation,
maybe the little Irishman's kids that I'm going to have
to sit down and say, when I was your age, I got hung over in the snow both ways, hung
over leaving and going, and you don't have to suffer this because of this fuck Google
who are doing the anti-aging shit.
It's not here fast enough.
I need it right the fuck now, right now, today.
Fuck the grandkids.
I need the anti-aging stuff today
because I'm fucking losing it.
My shoulders are falling apart,
and if I drink more than two beers,
you know, I spent my late twenties and early thirties
saying, God, when you're young,
you just eat as much as possible, enjoy it. Eat all the fried shit you want when you're a child. Eat all the fucking candy
you want. That's when you could do it because then you start, you're everybody in their
thirties is in Jenny Craig or else they're a big fat, unfuckable sack of yet. Now I'm learning
the awful truth, which is when you're in your early 30s, drink as much as you can,
because you can't anymore, or else you're out for a whole fucking day.
You lose things every decade.
Ah, they don't write it down.
That the fucking boomers are so obsessed with how great they have it and how much they've learned.
They're so...
I knew I came back to the boomers it is I'm so get more and more
pissed at them every day every day I find something else
that they fucked up every boomer in America is your mom and dad
they really are and they all fucked up I'm what I was watching
quantum Lee Blasnay at the end of you know what I watched the
end of the series finale of Quantum Leap Blasmer.
Maybe the only good series finale that's ever been done.
I cried at it the same way I cried it when I was a kid.
So much emotions.
Hey, speaking of time traveling, do you remember in the biggest problem
in the universe when I brought in time travel as a solution?
Yeah, vaguely and I said what I would do which was go back in time and steal all the Beatles songs.
I thought that same thing. They made that of shit a movie. No way. Yeah, really? How about that? Wow? How about that shit? Just stealing famous songs or specifically Beatles songs?
Beatles. I mean, you're just printing money. Yeah. Yeah. That's the movie. How about that? Yeah, you go back and you're right. All the
people for a thousand. That's me. Keep all the publishing. That's me, man. Anyway, um, I, why was I talking about boomers?
Puking coffee.
Yeah.
Anti-aging.
What was that?
Right.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
Yeah, it's not important.
I don't.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
Yeah, it's not important.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I say like, yeah, yes. Because they always, they just congratulate themselves
on everything.
They just relive and rehash everything.
Everything I learn, everything I need to know,
I learned in kindergarten.
Like they're obsessed with making things as dumb as possible
and they fucked us, they completely fucked us
with a world devoid of nuance and context and explanation.
Everything is a slogan.
Everything is a fucking slogan because we're all everything, everything.
Or don't trust anyone over 30, was there a thing in the 60s?
Yeah.
Don't trust anyone over 30.
Everything is a fucking slogan.
Then they're like, oh wait, like, we're over 30, let's make some money.
Fuck this, peace and love, bullshit.
Oh, we've even included our annuities.
Yeah, we need our annuities.
These phone scams are an epidemic.
People are calling and I'm just so dumb and bamboozled.
This guy called me and asked for my social security number.
I didn't know what to do.
Cause you're fucking stupid.
That's why.
Just gave it to him.
I figured I mean, you know, who would be lying about,
I mean, why would someone call me and just lie?
Cause you guys lie all the time.
Out of the blood, so security number must be important.
I don't know why it is.
Maybe it's cause I got banned from,
maybe cause I live in a world where I am banned.
Yeah, that's it.
And it's finally, it's finally getting to me.
Finally making me start to crack. Yeah, that's it. And it's finally, it's finally getting to me. Finally, I can make a mix start to crack.
Yeah, I'm fucking tired of it.
I don't know that it's the boomers who are banning you.
They are.
They did this.
Yeah.
They did this.
Yeah, they did this to us by pumping our brains full of lies
and their crusade to shove flowers and guns
and pretend that the world is a pretty fair
and equitable place.
And if they just wanted it bad enough, evil would go away.
That was their intentions, but the people shape reality.
That's what they stuck us with.
Okay, but the people who are freaking out, the people who are freaking out are the boomers
grandkids.
Yeah.
They're a generation after us.
Funded by boomers, by VCs, boomers, trained
in schools, dedicated to boomers. Yeah, shit. You're right. Fucking did this to us. Every
single, the, the, the, the Jesse Smollett hoax thing. I like how it's come out that like,
you know, he told them like what to say and everything like that. It's like, obviously
not a writer. You have two fucking two dudes.
It's just like African D said,
this is mug a country.
This is mug a country.
This is mug a country.
Get out.
This is mug a country.
They're coming to America.
That's the new hall.
Yes, fuck you to fuck you.
Fuck you to fuck your wall.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We want that you guys want the wall. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no he's gotta go to jail. Like why? Like why he doesn't have to go to jail? Do you guys, that's,
false accusations.
Well, they should have to be,
they should get the equal punishment.
Like are you fucking serious?
Anybody, anybody who doesn't do what he did
is just giving up competitive advantage.
In the marketplace.
We're an economy of victimization.
Well, it's like that everything is...
Every time I put Mexican on a form for college or anything, I'm doing the same thing that
he's doing.
But the same fucking thing.
Right.
Because that system is rigged, cause of boomers, because of their fucking feelings, because they can't stand anything,
anything appeared to be unfair,
because they're a bunch of,
they're a bunch of vain glorious fox.
But Dick, but you are Mexican.
Yeah, right, yeah.
I know you think he's the victim of a hate crime.
Right, you think that, well, not really though, but I'm not,
like, but you think, well, no, but you are,
but you think that that shouldn't carry any weight, right?
It's not what they meant when they made the form.
Yeah. When they said, oh yeah, yeah, we would like,
we just want to artificially prop people up
and fuck over anybody who got there by their own merit. That's what they
meant when they made the forms. I'm me doing it is just is total fraud, a total
ideological fraud in the system, do it every fucking time because if I don't it's
stupid. Yeah. And it's being perpetrated on a globe on a national scale all day
every day, every single person who claims any kind of victim
status, all the means of society, all the means who shit, every all the race shit, it's
all fraud.
It's all the exact same fraud that that idiot, it's a less funny version of what that
idiot perpetrated in Chicago.
Well, and it completely undermines any legitimate claims for any of that of which
there is. Of course there is. Of course there is. Of course there is. But there's, I mean,
you can only cry wolf so many times. We'll see how many times. The thing is, the things
where it's preposterous and hilarious, but it happens millions of times every single fucking
time somebody checks the box.
Every time someone checks the box of their rays,
they're doing the same fucking thing
because we've created an economy of victimization
and identity that you would be stupid,
that you would be, that you would be not participating in
by not taking advantage of.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like Trump making his ties in China.
We created that by building our economy
on cheap and poor tickets.
It's not his fault.
No, it's what you do.
It's what you do.
It's what you have to.
You have to or you're an idiot.
But people say, you know, like corporations
or whatever, you know, all the tax loopholes and stuff. do it. It's like, that's, that's all legal. Like it's
like people immediately go, they're all criminals. It's like, well, some are, but the loopholes
exist. What are you an idiot? Like you, you would take, you would take, you know, full advantage
of every, you have to, you have to, you're talking millions of millions of dollars. That's
the way the system, that's the rules of the game.
You have to.
You don't land on free parking and not take the money.
That's what the system is.
We've lied to get in every single war we've ever been in.
I mean, how once the last time it was, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what that's going to war. We got to do it. I have to do it. We gotta do it. You know, it's like, yeah, I'm trying to think over the years,
there has been some lie to get the people behind it.
Yeah.
I watched this weird documentary called Icarus,
which seemed dumb.
It was about the doping scandal or whatever.
All right, right.
And the guy in it, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, this weird documentary called Icarus, which seemed dumb. It was about the doping scandal or whatever.
All right, right.
And the guy in it, the guy shows that Russia blatantly cheated in the Sochi Olympics,
like freezing pee and like digging holes, tunnels,
indoors and smuggling fake piss in and rigging.
And the reason that he gave was it boosted Putin's approval so high that he invaded the Ukraine
because of it. So, so, that was the last winter Olympics, right?
So what was, what was the last, did we have a summer game since then?
I don't know, probably, because Russia was not allowed to be in the last one.
Like they weren't, there were people there.
Yeah, the Russian, the athletes were, as the Russian federation.
Well, they were, they were like
the ununinfederal. They weren't allowed. Right. They weren't allowed to represent change
with the fucking icon on the TV. Right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. But there's been
so thanks you fucking dumb boomers who can't commit to anything running the IOS, the
whatever it is. The IOCC, the IOC IOC. Oh no, it's the most correct.
I'm gonna bring the hammer down, you fucking butt ass.
FIFA might be the most corrupt sports organization
followed by the IOC and the NCAA.
Like those are all the good boomers died off.
We just got the schmocks that can't bring the hammer,
that can't make a decision to save their fucking lives.
I don't know, I'm very full of, uh, I just, I, I think the Olympics are just shit.
I hate the Olympics. I used to, I used to love them.
Then I realized like how it is and what it's, it's, it's garbage.
The Olympics hate them. I hate everything about them.
Yep. Um, I hate what they, I hate them that they're coming to LA.
Oh, God. Is it actually happening? Yeah, like 20 something. I hate them that they're coming to LA.
Oh God, is it actually happening?
Yeah, like 20 something.
Like 2020 or 20, yeah.
God, it's the last thing I want.
They're like Marvel, the Olympics are like Marvel movies.
They got them all mapped out.
Oh, wow, I can't wait.
I'll mapped out and I'll juiced up.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
You know, it makes me a rage.
What's that?
Huh.
Huh.
Let's back it off with a nice mellow rage.
Wet jeans.
Oh God, those are the fucking worst.
Those are the worst.
The fucking clown.
Yeah.
We just need, I need plastic pants.
Yeah, we just need to, like a plastic tarp.
Which is, do you spill something on yourself or did you get it?
It's been raining.
Oh, just, oh, can't go outside.
Yeah.
I'm like a black woman with a new hairdo.
I'm just sitting at the door like, I don't want to go outside.
I get my jeans all wet.
And then they're wet for the rest of the day, swinging around.
I feel like my feet waste 20 pounds a piece.
The worst is if you, if you're,
the bottom of your pant leg gets wet
and it starts like wicking up.
And then, and then you go in the house
and you, and you take your shoes off
and they're like every time you step,
it's like this cold denim clinging around.
Get your socks wearable.
Terrible, worst thing that's ever happened.
The pants, just anyone.
The, the big pants, whatever,
whatever Rouchy and Rouchy Vee
and Illuminati conspiracy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You had a lot of great, you had a lot of great points and then it took a hard left. Hard left. Hard left. Like it like into a fucking.
I think he's joking.
Uh, okay.
I don't think he's.
I don't either. I don't think I don't think he jokes.
No, he jokes.
Does he? Yeah.
Yeah. I didn't get a lot of humor.
That's his thing.
Is it? That's what he thinks is funny.
Just like the hamster guy.
I think. Like they are, they are, they like to live the joke.
That's what they do.
I thought he gave some great advice.
Great advice.
He seems to really know people and like steps to, yeah,
but like it's, you know, the thing about...
That's a dark abyss.
Yeah, to understand the woman is to stare into the abyss
because you might, it will fuck up your brain. Right. Trying to wrapyss to understand the woman is to stare into the abyss because you might,
it will fuck up your brain trying to wrap your mind around the woman.
So you reach that event horizon.
You go here.
You can't escape.
Trying to understand, you can work your entire life trying to understand why the woman will
read you all the ingredients of a menu and they'll just go through and read a menu to you.
Why would they do that?
I would never do that.
There's something, it doesn't.
Yeah, what the heck.
You understand?
This is the woman's mind.
So they're, oh, a menu.
Yeah, guys, let me just read you all the things
on the menu and all the ingredients.
And that's not the weirdest thing they'll do that day.
That's just something that,
that's something that they do that we just never mentioned.
Right.
It's so funny that,
like, as please, read me more ingredients.
They all, they will all do things like that.
Yeah.
It just, yeah, without, seemingly without talking
to each other.
No, I mean, there's not a conspiracy. No, it's I mean, there's not a conspiracy.
No, it's not a conspiracy.
Right, it's just like a,
yeah, just like reading ingredients.
It's like a thing.
There's a lot of things like that.
It's very, it's, I wasn't prepared for that part.
The butt conspiracy?
Oh no, when I started having relationships.
Oh, they don't prepare you for that.
No, for your bimmers done. Yeah, where it's like, oh no, they're. Oh, they don't prepare you for that. No, for your bimmers done.
Yeah, where it's like, boomers done.
Oh no, they're going to, they're going to speak on and on and on about things that after
10 seconds you go, I can't believe she's talking about this.
Like why is she talking about this?
Who on earth would want to hear about this?
And then they say, you're not, you don't listen. Who on earth would want to hear about this? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've had to put my dog a description of a dog.
Oh, dick.
Oh, man.
Pictures of said dog.
Pictures of a dog.
Yeah.
A, a, a, Sean, check out this picture of a video of said dog.
I'll talk about, tellaka's missize tits.
I have to go.
Different size.
Yeah.
Oh, this is silly.
This feels like a bonus episode.
Wait, Jean, we have to do a bonus episode.
Oh God, right.
Right in the fucking middle of the heaviest editing
I've ever done in my life.
Yeah.
Of course, we gotta do a bonus episode.
Oh yeah.
But we have to do a bonus episode.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh God. Well, it's the end of the month. It is the end of the month. We gotta do it. It Oh, yeah, we have to do a bonus episode. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God.
Well, it's the end of the month.
It is the end of the month.
We got to do it.
It's just like, oh, yeah, it would be now.
Yeah.
Well, Gene's really make me rage.
Okay.
It's the, I just want, I want a society where people are wearing less pants.
Okay.
That's what I've realized.
It's the entire, the assumption that you have to wear pants
that is, that's what's making me crazy.
But does that do away with like a lady's excuse
about the pants, maybe making her, you know,
but like, do these pants make my ass look big?
Yeah, that's kind of thing.
It's like, you know, if they take away then you can't blame
the pants anymore if they take those off,
then I want women to wear pants. Okay. Men, no pants, if they take over, then you can't blame the pants anymore. If they take those off, they want women to wear pants.
Okay.
Men, no pants, no pants.
Okay.
We got a shrink, shrink it.
We got a shrink them up, shrink it down to shorts.
Hmm.
I'm talking like 1970s NBA shorts.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I figured you were that guy, yeah.
Thanks a lot.
Men shouldn't be ashamed of their legs and size.
And that's the world that we're in.
Men are, you can't call a woman fat online or to her face
because that's body shaming,
but men are constantly shamed for not wearing pants.
And in fact, there's no reason
that we have to wear the pants.
If everybody agrees on it, you'll be shamed.
Try it.
Try going to work without wearing pants.
You'll be body shamed into putting pants on.
I got a lot of stuff.
Oh, yeah, this is a good one.
I don't know what to call it.
It's this crusade against normalization. I found
a, let me find the article that people are afraid that certain things are just becoming normalized.
And I think that's harmful for us. Yeah, I'm starting to hate the word normalization.
Yeah. Because I see it a lot in my, I see it a lot in my circles. Maybe it's more of a
conservative thing, but it's really fucking annoying me. The normalization of pedophilia.
It's normal.
Normalization.
Oh, so you think it comes from the right?
I think it comes from everybody.
Oh, okay.
Well, I think that people are just freaked out all the time and bored and have nothing
better to do than to invent crusades against things.
Well, we're such prisoners of the moment and the news cycles are,
they are really causing people to feed into that.
I know everything is just like this big fucking thing
and it's like right now this is the thing.
Yeah, I do agree with you,
but I think people do it on their own.
Yeah.
Like looking at the pictures a whole, like the news cycle and whatever, we made that. We made
that because we are like that. Like that is us. Yeah. That's we are we are like that.
We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that.
We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like
that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are
like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We
are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that.
We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like
that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like
that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that.
We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like
that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like
that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like
that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like that. We are like we are like that. We are like that. the time. So it just triggers that part of us.
I can't believe I just use the word triggered.
Yeah.
That part of us, it keeps that part of us on 10 all the time.
But yes, back in where I like that.
I go back and where I like that.
We are like that.
Because that is us.
It is.
It's us.
And I feel like a menonite.
Or like I feel like I finally understand
the Amish religion.
Yeah.
They wanted technology to stop at exactly that point.
And when I look at our society,
I think we should have stopped this in 1998. we should have stopped this when the modem became silent and we didn't have
to listen to beat all but all but all but that's when we should have stopped.
Yeah.
And I want to have a new Amish religion that just pulls everything back down to that
moment because that's when it was great.
Man, I think that's when we could still look
at the big picture and think positively about ourselves
without seeing the horrible,
the horrible, without seeing the horribleness
and the grotesquery of the human condition displayed so.
24-7.
Perfectly, and accurately.
I know.
And it didn in real time
to the granularity of obscenity that we really are.
That was when we could, that was when the last time
you could look at a work of art and say,
well that's something we could aspire to be.
Oh, this artwork is beautiful.
Perhaps we could aspire to be that that is gone.
Man, it is gone.
It takes too much delusion to think that anymore.
See, this is the liquor.
I'm too long over here.
No, but you're so right.
It's exactly what I think as far as I think technology,
you can use it for different purposes,
and just the proliferation of social media
and the internet and everybody having a channel and stuff.
I honestly think I know I sound like a fucking Luddite
or I sound like somebody an old fucking guy
because I'm fucking becoming an old fucking guy.
And I think in some ways I was born an old fucking guy.
Oh God, I'm drinking my way out of this hangover.
It's fantastic.
Good for you.
When you get that little kick in,
you're like, I feel like I can think again.
Everything's making more sense.
But I think it's creating, helping to create shitty fucking people.
Yeah.
It just is, man.
It ain't fucking good for you.
And it's evidenced by people who can't have a conversation like they can't make eye contact
with somebody else anymore.
Or just it's everybody being triggered.
Everybody existing in their own little bubble.
Here's the UN is proposed in international initiative.
Normals was recently.
Necton normalization.
What are we?
Child pornography against child pornography.
Any visual material such as photographs, right?
We're all against that movie.
Yeah.
We don't victim kind of drawings.
Drawings.
No, it's drawing.
No.
Well, what are you thinking? drawing no ho ho ho
what are you thinking
what are you thinking in your idiots
but that's idiots are helping them by throwing a fit every time there's anything
that might touch on
uh...
right but that's a for that's like a first amendment thing right
i mean that with the UN, it's not. Well, okay, well,
and no matter this country, we can't have that lolly shit
that everybody's always piling on,
did you broke for shit that is not a crime?
Wait, wait, you can or can't have that?
You can't have drawings.
You can't have drawings?
No.
Even if you've got like a bitch in pig tails on a porn,
you gotta say explicitly, this is a,
that's why we have barely legal.
You can't even allude to it.
Right, huh.
Right, but you say, isn't that crazy?
Well, because it's a drawing.
There's no, yeah, but there's, it's,
it's fucking lines.
Like Mohammed, it's a stupid,
it's exactly as stupid as drawing Mohammed. Exactly as stupid. Yeah, well, yeah, there's no, it's exactly a stupid is drawing Mohammed.
Exactly a stupid.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, there's no, it's not a person.
It's Christian Caliphate.
But, yeah.
But they're saying that it, because it encourages that kind of,
here's five year old boys, I just drew.
Right.
With no pants on.
That's a legal.
Right.
What if a minor draws a five year old boy? What if they draw themselves? No pants on. Ah, that's an ankle. Right.
What if a minor draws a five year old boy? What if they draw themselves?
Send them to jail.
It's a pedophile.
God.
Yeah, we've taken all subtlety nuance
and areas of gray.
We've just, it's black or white immediately.
Need jerk, right wrong.
Boomers did this to us.
Yeah, we're getting, yeah, we're,
we don't have to worry about what they think about us.
That's important to remember.
Um, let's see, what else do I have here?
Well, because there was a,
there was like a pedophile wormhole on YouTube
where kids would be posting,
pick, pick kids posted videos of themselves.
And then all these pedophiles are in the comments,
like putting timestamps of where the kids are.
Oh God, yeah, it's gross.
Yeah, what is that thing?
And what kind of idiots would do that?
And like, leave a trail, it's like, you can't stop them.
They just, no, but I mean, they can't help themselves, obviously,
because if they're posting things on there saying, like at just, no, but I mean, like they can't help themselves obviously, because they're,
if they're posting things on there saying,
like at this time stamp, it's like,
yeah, we can find you, right?
No.
You can't find that person?
Why would you want to?
Not, I mean, not the law enforcement.
No, it's not a crime.
It's a crime.
It's not a crime.
I guess, I guess not.
I mean, they're not explicitly saying what they're doing, right?
Yeah.
What are you, what are you gonna do?
I don't know.
Find them kick the shit out of them.
That's illegal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not talking about Reagan.
I'm talking about, I'm strictly talking about law enforcement.
Well, what is the difference?
They're just a guy, they're just a guy who's paid
to kick the shit out of people.
What I mean, they have a, oh my, they have authority.
You know what I mean? Well, I mean, that is it on my, they have authority. You know what I mean?
I mean, that is invented.
Like that's not real, that's just,
that's the lowest common denominator.
What under the law it is, they may be,
you know, they can use force.
They can use force.
Which they, like that's what I'm, that's my point.
Why?
That's just statistically it's a guy who's not as smart as you.
Showing up and kicking the as smart as you. Yeah.
Showing up and kicking the shit out of somebody.
Yeah.
Yep.
Uh, it's the knee, the knee jerk.
Well, we gotta find that guy.
Well, not really.
Yeah.
It's not a fucking crime, man.
I mean, unless they do it as an investigation as like part of a fucking ring or part of a ring
of looking at trying to get kids.
Who knows, who knows what else there, you know,
what I mean, like would they ever investigate people
who do that?
Investigate what?
What's that?
Investigate what?
I don't know, to see where it leads.
Well, I know, I know that I'm in the wrong on this,
but I'm just curious.
But because my problem is the reason I'm illegal,
the reason that I'm not allowed on the internet
is this kind of thinking.
Oh, for sure.
Is it just normalizing?
What you're doing is normalizing.
It's normalizing.
It's normalizing.
I know.
What you're doing is normalizing hatred against women.
What you're doing is normalizing,
normalizing toxic masculinity.
Like, ha ha ha ha.
I've come to the,
ah, stop, stop with the normalizing shit.
I've come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people,
and maybe this is not thought out,
there are two kinds of people,
and-
Yes, man and tits, man.
No, there are two kinds of people,
and only two kinds of people.
Okay.
Those are-
Forward guys and Chevy guys.
Hahaha.
Where are the Dodge Car?
Are they some like weird bastardization of,
you know,
Dodge, nobody buys that. Yeah, for nobody buys that. Where are the Dodge Car? Are they some like weird bastardization of, you know, I know you buy stuff.
Yeah, for nobody buys that.
The two kinds of people are people who think that,
one can joke about certain things some of the time,
and others who think that you can never joke about
certain things any of the time.
Here's my thinking is changed on that.
And I really think that's it.
My thinking has changed on that for one reason.
Calling it a joke is a cop out and a losing argument.
I think people can tell whether it's a joke or not.
And that's the problem.
Yes.
Calling it a joke means that you can only talk about what you were talking about if it's a joke.
And that argument you will never win because that's subjective. When the real, the principle
stand is that you should be able to talk about this even if it's not, especially when it's not a
joke. You know what I mean? I do. Yeah. And that is, but the same people who would understand
that certain things or jokes are the people who also would understand that you can talk
about serious things as well. Like I, and the people who are not, they're not because
that's where this shit comes. That's where this ban on illicit material comes from.
But okay, but I'm trying to, see, I'm trying to, I'm trying to now think of the rest of
the community.
I'll say it clearly.
The people who don't think it's okay to joke about anything are a lot of the same people
who don't even want you to talk about stuff that's a little sticky in society.
So that again.
Okay, so the same people, so people who think that it's...
Let's name them.
That it's never-o-careos.
Stereos.
No, I would never put a star on that category.
The people who think that it's not okay to make any kind of racy jokes or anything like
that are the same people who don't even want to talk about that kind of stuff for fear
of offending groups, anything like that.
And the opposite is true for the other side.
That's why I'm saying that calling it a joke is a cop out because it's a negotiation
that you're not going to win.
Well, you have a bargain.
You're saying, well, I'm talking about, I'm talking about race, but it's a joke.
So that should be okay.
And that is the mistake.
That's, I don't think you should have to say it, but people do.
It's like, I was just, the phrase, it's just a joke.
That's the poison.
Oh, I know.
That's the mistake.
I know.
I know.
Where people say, oh, you can't say something like that.
I was just joking.
That is the, that, that, that offer of it's just a joke.
Please let me say it.
It's the mistake. It is fuck you. Even if it wasn't a joke, please let me say it is the mistake.
It is fuck you.
Even if it wasn't a joke, it's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we're in agreement.
Yeah.
Yeah, for the most part, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's where my thinking has changed because I used to think that too.
Like it's just a joke.
If you're joking, you should be able to say anything you want, but I see now that that is the mistaken offer that people make to
an unreasonable, right, negotiating partner when they're trying to get something that they
know they should either like, well, we're human beings. We're built to compromise. And
our compromise is saying, well, it's, you know, it's just a joke, right? You might be
so bad. You think it's bad. You think it's evil thought. I'm going to, well, it's, you know, it's just a joke, right? It's not so bad.
You think it's bad.
You think it's evil thought.
I'm going to tell you that it's just a joke to lessen the blow.
But that is not good enough for them.
And we should stop saying it's just a joke.
And I'm saying there's even if it's not a joke, it's fine.
Yeah.
There's a, I'm saying there's almost like a, there are two traits that these people have
on one side and two traits that people have on this side. Yeah kind of
I don't know. I don't know either. Fuck I told Carl to call in
Call from who these podcasts. Let me get him on here. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey sweet on how you doing?
Whoa, that's how you went to brunch? Oh
Okay, moment.
Just change just to come into this room and come into this studio.
Right.
Now, is it going to blink it on?
It is cold.
Let me turn the heat up.
So, Coach's brother installed this.
Um, he's thinking.
You're not measuring this.
Yeah.
Coach has less experience with the police.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Right, right.
Carl from Who Are These Podcasts.
Hey, Carl from Who Are These Podcasts, what's going on?
Dick, what's happening, buddy?
How you doing?
I'm doing great.
How you doing?
Good, great to talk to you.
I was just talking about the, um,
Coach's brother, my life coach's brother installed
the air conditioning in the studio.
But there's been the best $3,000 I ever spent this fucking thing.
It's on right now, right?
It's on right now, yeah.
So quite.
So he grabbed one that had a heating.
He was at the dock.
I had him do it.
And he said, yeah, there was one there that had a heater too.
So I grabbed that one for you.
Like, all right.
Okay.
Well, we know the experience with the police.
Yeah.
I had the, I was on Carl's show this week. Who are these podcasts?
Mm-hmm. Great show. He rips into podcasts and talks about how terrible they are.
Yeah, it's a really great show. A real popular guy.
Yeah, he's, yeah, we're gonna want a friend to.
Yeah, making a lot of friends, doing that kind of work.
Like, tough, tough trade, but somebody's got to do it.
You can go through his iTunes reviews.
Long as it's not me.
And it's one star.
And then it's all these one stars from the podcast he reviews.
Yeah, and their fans trying to manipulate him into thinking
that he's wrong.
Like, it's every trick in the book.
Like, I was a big fan of Carl's show, who he's podcasted,
but after this last episode,
where he'd start with a little flattery
and then go, you're better than that.
People are such scumbags.
I'm gonna start,
if I did donate to like cancer stopping medicine,
like St. Jude,
I'm gonna start donating to Spector's version of that,
which is to create a super cancer that can never be cured.
Like, if there's a, if there's an organization I can donate to, that just tries to genetically
engineer a cancer for assholes, and I don't mean the anatomical asshole.
I mean, people who are fucked in their heads, I would sign me the fuck up.
I'll max out, I'll be the, I'll be the Jerry Lee Lewis of your organization.
Jerry Lewis. Jerry. I'll be both.
That's right. It's like Jerry Jerry Lewis who plays a piano.
Jerry Lee Lewis is funnier.
Then you, I mean, you want to talk about a pedophile, right?
Oh, yeah.
Did he marry his cousin?
Yeah, it's 13 year old cousin.
And he actually, he married a...
His first wife was underage too.
What do you mean underage in America or the UK?
I think she was 16 or 17.
That's right, I love when the topic of pedophiles ever come up.
I'm like, okay, so what do you think?
Well, I'm concerned.
You think, you can't do it. Is pedophiles? Go to Japan, tell everyone they're fucking pedophiles ever come up, I'm like, okay, so what you think, everything you can is pedophiles.
Go to Japan, tell everyone they're fucking pedophiles.
Like, you just think this because you're born here.
That's why.
This is, we're very, I've noticed that America,
even though the world has never been smaller
as far as communication and seeing what's going on,
we do think that we're the world,
and like it's like everywhere is like,
oh, it's because it's all,
it's like you project all the weirdness of the government
and being bought off and things like that.
You project that everywhere across the world.
Yeah.
There are other organizations that do stuff for other countries
that, you know what I mean?
Not everything is like us.
18, otherwise you're a pedophile.
Really, it's like 17 and 300.
I guess God's a petapile then.
Is he?
Well, yeah.
Wait, what am I missing?
I never mind.
I'm getting too drunk.
Carl.
I got a topic here.
Is Mary underage?
Mary?
Well, no, because of puberty.
Because just because it exists.
Oh, God, oh, okay.
Just because it exists.
Right, right.
I, no one Just because it exists. Right. Right. I
Know no one can talk about no one can talk about it reasonably. They just fly off the fucking handle turns out I think Darwin was the pedophile problem. Yeah, J. Lee Lewis look all good fine until he started coming with facts and things and
St. Jude's if St. if there's an evil specter version
of St. Jude's, I'm in.
Yeah. I'm ready to kick, I'm ready to,
I'm on the phones, I'm gonna get a bunch of
mis-entropic scumbags to man the phone lines
and you send into your donations.
Look, we've been working, we're close to curing cancer
and that's gonna, there's gonna be a lot of assholes
who then don't get it.
So we're working on a special version of cancer
that only affects complete assholes.
I would donate to that.
Thank you, Carl.
I was on your show this week.
I had the misfortune of listening to episode 77.
I think it's probably very good.
So happy that you've finally ever listened to the episode that think it's probably. So happy.
Oh really?
And listen to the episode that you weren't on.
Oh wow.
It's problem in the universe.
So this is what he shed on this week.
Yeah.
We review.
Oh wow, I gotta hear this.
It was great.
Great.
And it was.
Asterios was there.
Asterios was on episode 77.
He wasn't on the show.
The carol and I talked to him.
Oh no, no, no, that's, yeah, I know.
That's, yeah.
A sticker was blackout drunk on this show.
He is mine.
Yeah, that's right.
I remember you coming in the next week
and going, what did you boys get up to last week?
It was terrible.
It was like listening to half of the view. I don't really remember it other than,
yeah, other than he was there and he was pretty drunk.
Yeah, he started right away that he has two glasses of whiskey
and you could hear Maddox's asshole tighten up
when he started talking about.
It was pretty crazy though.
12 hours of editing on this one I can see.
Yeah, there were some good cuts. I compared it to the uncut.
Oh, he did.
Okay.
It was great too because Dick wrote in the the picture I note this week, I'm listening
to episode 77.
Thank you all for coming back to episode 78.
I don't know why you did.
Yeah.
And show got so far off the rails.
Hmm.
I don't remember what it was about at all.
It was about two middle aged men working through their life issues.
What were the problems?
Asterios and Maddox.
I walked right into that.
Right into that.
The virginity stigma.
Maddox talked about how his first girlfriend was an infomaniac and yet he never fucked her
Oh, I don't remember that. Wow. You don't remember that. No, it was weird
Which led me to think that it was a cam girl like it was a long-distance it was a internet relationship shows
Yeah, who knows anyway?
Maddox sad. This is the funniest thing. I'm gonna put out the show. It'll be out by the time your show comes out
Okay, that Maddox said I was I was with my girlfriend when we were teenagers and if I didn't know where she was This is the funniest thing. I'm gonna put out the show. It'll be out by the time your show comes out. Okay.
Maddox said, I was with my girlfriend when we were teenagers.
And if I didn't know where she was for 30 seconds,
her head was in my junk.
Like this woman was so horned up
that if he wasn't keeping tabs at her at all times,
she was going down and I'm like, whoa, whoa!
Turned into a movie over here.
What do you do it?
Next, I'm gonna call the police.
This is a real story that was told.
Yeah, in my absence.
Wow.
No shit.
I had to pause it several times.
I had to make sure that that's what was said.
Just because I couldn't believe what I was hearing
and that it was being allowed,
it was allowed to be said by everyone who was there.
Yeah. You was there.
Yeah.
I was.
I was.
I wasn't talking too much at that time, I think.
No.
It was, it was crazy to listen to that episode knowing what's going on right now.
Right.
Like seeing, well, yes, it was, I'll tell you what, a little bit of a hard way to category
because you can hear Astero's really trying to help Maddox have a fun show
when he's does like he's not fun to listen to.
No, because Astereos is an entertainer.
He's great as evidenced by the live shows.
I mean, you want to talk about somebody
really coming out of their shell.
Man, I don't know what to do with Astereos.
Bray, this is with the counter suit and everything that's going on, his refusal to call
in until the law stuff is wrapped up because he could be on the same show with Cernovich.
It's really bothering me.
Like we're going to Australia.
And there's nothing more than I would want to do then, well, first have a, provide a wonderful
home for Hitomi Tenoca, so she doesn't have to bang the trains of men, as I said at the
beginning.
In Australia, anywhere she wants.
Any shunt, anywhere she wants.
I have considerable resources.
You don't want, you don't want Tanaka's going feral though.
They have a large feral, and the, between the cats and the pigs, it has ravaged that country.
Oh yeah. Tanaka's going to like, Marios Tanaka's suit. I don't know where he that's from. Farrell and the between the cats and the pigs as ravaged that country. Oh, yeah, Tannaka
is not just Mario's Tannaka suit. I don't know where that's from. I have no idea. Mario and Mario
three, remember he had the Tannaka suit. Is that what they called it? What was that? I'm pretty sure.
He would put it Mario would put it on and then he would have huge tits. He just girls saying no, no,
no, one would be way bigger than the other. No, God. Okay. Tannukey. They called it. Huh.
Was that the flying thing?
No, you know, okay, that's another thing that makes me great.
Oh, no, no, sorry, Carl.
No, no, no.
Does Hammer Brothers, the fucking hammer suit and the Tannukey suit from Mario 3 was such
a gigantic cock tease that you never got to play in the game.
Still, never.
I had that fun.
You would spend the entire game looking at the back of the box.
Holy shit, Mario could be a hammer brother
and throw hammers.
Oh my God.
Wait, you can't wait to get this fucking hammer suit on.
You couldn't do it.
I must have, I played that game for months as a little boy.
I finally got, I finally got both.
You get it, I got it out of luck in some stupid mushroom house
I got it and I got hit and threw one hammer and I got hit immediately
There goes the hammer suit that's it. I got so pissed off through the fucking controller and quit video games
I used quit video games for like two months. That was before so pissed off before the term rage quit
Right? Oh, man. Oh, I was so amped up. I got that fucking before. So pissed off before the term rage quit. Right? Oh, man,
that's so amped up. I got that fucking hammer. So there's no way. No way. I had to sit there.
I had to sit there when Mario was in World A dancing his little feet. Like, all right, I got
to calm down. I got to calm down. I finally got a fucking hammer suit. I've been hearing about
this hammer brother suit for months. So you could get it. And what's the bottom?
It wasn't fraud.
It was, it was fraud because it's nowhere else in the get,
you, it's totally unreasonable, but they advertise it.
Like it's a thing you can get on multiple levels in play with
and then the tanuki suit where you could turn into stone
by pressing down and B.
And I got them in last,
I got them in lasted for one fucking step
into the world immediately hit,
cause I was so gasped up.
I was so excited to play as Hammer Mario
to throw hammers immediately,
God, I said fuck, fuck, fuck.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yep.
Nine years old, I think.
Nine years old.
Swearing all the time. Oh, it was. Bad years old, swearing all the time.
Oh, it's about outrageous.
Battle and hangover.
Outrages that they would do that.
What was I talking about?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I was talking about hysteria,
helping out Maddox on episode 77.
Trying to make it entertaining.
Trying to make it entertaining.
Would you agree, Chrom?
Well, he was trying to make it entertaining,
but then he fell into that loop
where they got into these really deep discussions
around the gender wage gap issue.
And these topics that you should never talk about
for 20 minutes on a comedy podcast.
It was unlisteningable.
It was really depressing.
It was really depressing. I was, it was really depressing.
I wanna hear Carl's show, so I can hear both, you know,
cause I'm sure you never heard Carl's show.
No, I mean on this specific episode.
I'm not gonna be able to show it.
I've never listened to my show.
No, no, no, no, no, that's part of Carl's intro.
It's me saying, it's, so Carl's like a,
Carl is like a radio geek.
Yeah.
Like he's like a, he's like a, he is like a radio geek. Yeah. Like he's like a, he's like a,
he's like a time traveling guy.
Like it's like you transplanted him
from the radio age and put him in modern day.
So he has this highly produced polished intro
for his show and part of the show is me talking about the show
and me explaining what it is.
Then I say, have you, have you listened to the show
and you go, no. That's in the show. That's in the show. That's what it is. Then I say, have you listened to the show and you go, no. That's an end to show. That's just a wrap.
I'm so sorry to shot guy. I've never listened to that show.
I've never listened to that show. You got to listen to one episode.
It's great. Anyway, so Carl, you're very hated.
Yeah, we were talking about how I think I was reading my iTunes reviews when you were
on yesterday.
Yeah.
And we did the last podcast on the left, which is a very popular show.
They have a lot of fans.
And we should add a little bit.
I mean, I honestly came out and said, this is the top 5% of podcasts because podcasts
are mostly terrible.
And this is what I was talking about.
But that wasn't good enough for these people. So yeah, it's funny
when you read the reviews and there's someone who says, I went back and listen to multiple
episodes and these guys are just bullies. They don't say it and then you like reference
stories. Yes, in the left. Right. We're bullies. Bullies for grown ups. Yeah. For fucking
grown ups, Sean. Could you ever imagine that that term would
stick into our fucking forties that were still bullying each other? Ah, the boomers trained
us to be kids until we're dead.
Huh. That's for nothing, guys. But when you put out a podcast, you're trying to be a celebrity.
That's why everybody does it.
I'm gonna show, I'm gonna put on the internet,
I want everyone to hear it.
And that's for somebody here,
so they go, I don't like this very much.
Like, who can't see that?
What the fuck?
Don't be, you're trying to be a celebrity.
This is how this works.
Yeah, you didn't get tricked into recording yourself
and then putting it on your website
and getting a logo designed and name,
using all these fucking buttons in your name.
I don't understand why people are shocked when they get any criticism.
Right.
I mean, I do understand it with younger people today because they've got their own little
circles and everybody glowing reviews on this.
And if it happens to reach a broader audience, people are going to go, yeah, I think this sucks. You know, like you're gonna
cares. Yeah. So we're coming up on the one-year anniversary of us reviewing a podcast called The
Vanished. Are you familiar with that show? Of course not. No. Sean, you probably listen to it, right?
That's actually the only one I've listened to. You've listened to the audience.
That's a huge fan.
All right.
It just went away for some reason.
I don't know what happened to it.
So the vanishes this show was going.
It's like any of these other true crime shows.
They do a missing person show.
And they focus it on a case every week
and say, oh, this person is missing.
And they might interview parents or friends
or whatever they're going to do.
And so we reviewed that show.
Oh, no.
It's not fiction.
It's not fiction.
It's not fiction.
Okay.
And it's very serious, I imagine.
Hard felt and horrible experience for everybody.
They're interviewing parents of missing people.
Yeah, sure.
It is a thousand percent serious. You have this 22-year-old autistic
child who's been missing for years and this host is interviewing the mom. Okay. I was laughing
at something else. Yeah, right. So we went ahead and did a review of that show and didn't
find it great. Part of my criticism of it was the fact that
she doesn't agree with anything law enforcement ever does.
She's, she's, she's,
she's throws the cops under the bus.
These people aren't even trying, they don't give a shit.
And she always sides with the family.
Meanwhile, these people are missing
because they were trying to get away from their shitty family.
Okay.
Like be why they're missing.
Yeah.
Can you be missing at 22?
Right. Yeah.
I mean, you don't have moved to Vancouver and changed your name because you're a shit
at.
That's why.
Oh, okay.
I don't know.
Sometimes I don't know.
I could be right.
Probably more like it.
So, yeah, we reviewed this show and the host of the show got very upset.
Reached out to iTunes.
Yeah.
And asked iTunes to take it down over a copyright claim.
So I get a note from iTunes that says, if you fail to respond within five business days,
we will remove the content from iTunes.
So there's no judge there's no judge,
jury. It's just someone complain. We're taking it down. Now, where does that fall under,
you know, like, where does it fall under what? The law? Yeah. The law is just under under
the law. I mean, fucking matter. It's an entertainment. It's like, of course, it's, yeah,
cause there's no, like we've got to stop thinking about the law in general
and just think about what is reasonable.
But if it were like an education thing,
that would be a no brainer.
You can use somebody else's material.
He's making fun of it.
That's educational.
Yeah, I mean, there you go.
But it's, it's, it's graces.
Don't be an asshole.
Here's a, here's a, carls got a 100part series on how not to be a stupid jackass online, very
educational.
Well, they're putting out a show that they're selling advertising ads.
It's an entertainment broadcast.
This is not something they're doing to better society.
What they're doing is they're saying this person went missing and by the way, if you want
a home security system, you can order one right now.
I'm not saying them. I'm saying you, because you're going to get in, you're getting in trouble
for using their material, right?
Hey, so listen, so I write back to iTunes and I copy in this podcast and I say that we
disagree with this claim. We're pulling close from the show. We're airing them along with
our critiques, which is under the fair use clause of the Copyright Act,
totally allowed.
It's no different than a movie critic playing scenes
from a movie or a book critic,
who is including passages from a book.
Because you're critics for you.
It's no different.
Do we, that's what we have to do now.
If we go through and explain.
There's no more.
You have to liken it to other things.
Yeah.
There's one plus one is two.
Right. Well, this is the problem with podcasters. They want to be celebrities. But then as soon as they have
to actually have the consequences of being a celebrity, these people are living in two different worlds.
All right, so I send that in and I say, look at,
it trying to pull this off of iTunes or the internet
goes against freedom of speech
and it goes against the constitution.
I'm kind of a constitution guy.
I'm like, that's fucked up.
So this podcast host writes me back.
We're going back to. I feel like when people say they're kind of a constitution guy. They mean they
mean they're extremely about the constitution. I mean, he, you can
say it in an understated way, like, you know, I'm big on the first
amendment. I'm kind gay. Yeah. What do you mean?
I don't want to go to the libertarian fucking argument with you guys right now.
That's right. I'm trying to.
All right.
Anyway, oh no, let's do it.
That was listening to episode 77 of the biggest like it brought back all of those old
fights that we would have about libertarians and fucking apples.
Remember that shit?
Yeah.
All right.
Anyway, Coral, go ahead.
There was a thing that I did not play on our show.
Can you guys hear my soundboard?
I, here's the thing.
Yeah, you got to play.
Yeah, this is a place to play some of them.
This is Maddox.
It's a copy right in the story.
I know episode 77 admitted that he was wrong about how he approached the libertarian argument.
I think this is the only recorded known time that Maddox said he did something incorrectly.
Here's the thing, that episode was kind of a clusterfuck.
I was fucking around at the start.
You know what, maybe the homeowners association argument wasn't the best tack to take to
pin down libertarians.
Okay.
Asterios, let it go, That's as good as we're gonna...
I just thought the same thing like you know.
Wow, that was almost okay.
Sorry, man.
That was, we didn't get into that deck
because we had run over on our time, but...
The best attack to take.
Yeah, that's a sailing term.
Yeah, it is.
It's tactic, right?
Yeah, let's start, let's start just with that.
Let's start,
re,
re say it to be what you mean.
Am I wrong?
No.
In that, just say,
it's the constant butchering of words of that show
drove me insane.
Also trying to play it off like it was,
like Maddox was some kind of a debater, which
I guess we find out that he actually considers himself, that he was trying to make a point
instead of just not completely not understanding what we were talking about.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then he never did.
Oh, no, his point was, I was totally right in my argument. I just did it the wrong way. You were fucking wrong in every single way, yeah. And then he never did. Oh, no, his point was, I was totally right in my argument.
I just did it the wrong way.
You were fucking wrong in every single way, dummy.
Fucking idiots.
Yeah.
Well, he's never going to give you the, you know, cops call it the, when somebody murders
someone else and the cops get a confession, they call it the 80-20 because they give you
80% truth, but they give you 80% truth,
but they always withhold 20%
because it's like a self-preservation thing.
Like somehow I was justified to do it.
Oh yeah.
It's like yeah, no, okay, I did shoot him.
Like, and I did this, and I did this,
and we like, well, here's a whole story.
But I really thought he was coming at me with a knife.
Like, you know, something like that.
It's like me insane about, like people do that too. Oh yeah, they do that Or something like that. It's like me insane. Like people do that too.
They do that all day every day.
It's how you live with yourself.
If you do something really, really bad,
you've gotta give yourself a little out.
It's shameful.
Yeah, it's terrible.
It's not honest.
It's terrible.
It's not fully honest.
No, it's not.
And there is a lot of, it does feel good sometimes.
So you know what I fucked that up.
Yes, someone who fucks up a lot.
Yeah, sure.
I can say it does, it feels good.
So you know what I fucked that up.
Yep, like they're not, people aren't trying to scam you
out of saying that you fucked up.
Anyway, Carl.
All right, so this is the vanish responding to me.
Okay.
And the host, the show says,
hello w a t p show. Do you know that the first amendment does not protect you from consequences
for the things that you say, including civil penalties? That's the first sentence. I knew you would love.
Did you know?
Sean, did you know?
Did you know that what you say doesn't protect you from civil penalties?
Did you know?
So when was that?
Oh, I was saying, so this is back in February of last year.
So all I was saying was, listen, you can't take the show down.
I did not break any copyright laws. This is fair use clause.
This is why we're doing it. She writes back and says, well, you can, you know, say that
we live under the, you know, the constitution, all you want, but we got civil penalties.
And then she says, I understand that many Americans don't quite grasp the concept and
think they can say anything without consequences, but this is untrue.
So it's like I'm down to me. and think they can say anything without consequences, but this is untrue.
You know what, you're reminding me of something. I brought in a study that I forgot about.
Let me open it up.
I think it will be,
I think it'll be interesting to talk about.
Here is a survey.
Here's a survey that says 43% of Democrats
versus 70% of Republicans think that people should be allowed to express
unpopular opinions in public, even those that are deeply offensive.
Oh, that's 57, that's even on, even on the Republicans, I'd 30% of people, so you meet
10 people.
Three of them think that you should not be allowed
to express an opinion that is offensive. I can't wrap my mind around these animals that
we're living with. Like I really fucking can't. We need the super cancer. We need a cancer
that targets those people, specifically.
We're in an age of advanced science.
I don't know who's doing it in China, they're cloning little girls, but then they accidentally
increased their brain power.
Did you see that?
No.
You know, the guy that cloned a bunch of kids, this legit.
I mean, it's the opposite, but it's science.
The guy that, no, I mean, did this happen?
Yes.
Do you remember the Chinese guy that, like, genetically engineered kids and then he
kind of disappeared.
He said that he did it and they're born and then he disappeared.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, well, he said he did it, right?
He said he did it.
And he also said he accidentally, they accidentally deleted this crisper.
He accidentally deleted a gene that in rodents, when they've done that, makes them super
intelligent.
So he accidentally made two super intelligent, like a couple of super intelligent Chinese
twins or something like that.
Anyway, I don't know why I brought that up.
But it's not even uncommon.
50% on one side and 30% on the other side.
That's a shitload of people.
Who just think, you shouldn't be able to do that.
Yeah.
Should you be able to do that?
Uh, no, kill him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Um, I want to make that a crime.
You shouldn't be able to do it.
Right.
That's different. Whatever it takes to make you shouldn't be able to, anyway, anyway, Carl, please continue. It's hate speech,
deck. You should, uh, should that be throwing jail for that. Hate speech is protected. By far,
the most supportive of speech restrictions are white liberals and Democrats in the 18 to 29
category. Wow. I mean, overwhelming margin.
Of course.
Go ahead.
Not for nothing.
I went to college.
Yeah.
This is what we're teaching people.
I feel like I feel like I missed out because I went to a tech school.
Right.
Right.
Where, yeah, definitely.
You don't teach anything like the, the primary concern where I went to college was
people not killing themselves.
Yeah. Because it was so stressful.
Sure.
Like, that's all anybody talked about.
I can't imagine what it would be like at a non-tech college.
Right.
All right.
Let me get back to this.
No, I don't want to get political.
So, as she says, there are also limits to fair use.
You can either pull the episode or we can go to court.
Will it be your obligation to prove that your use of my material is considered fair use?
You also made several slanderous comments in your episode, including accusing me of exploiting
people.
Again, it is on you decide how you would like to proceed best wishes.
And then this one is made.
I don't know if that's slander. Exploding people?
No, no, I mean, just saying, like,
isn't it like an append me?
Is somebody's exploiting people?
Yeah.
Isn't everybody doing that all the time?
Yeah, I don't see that, I don't think that,
that's from what I know that doesn't seem like slander.
It's just an evil.
Somebody's in there like a cat at the keyboard. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, well, what I'm listening restaurant ingredients really weird.
We need a separate court system like Chick court.
That's not we have normal court.
And then if you submit a lawsuit that's just on its face retarded, you have to get through
Chick court first, which is just like a bunch of it, which is like the idiocracy court
for stuff like this.
Please, yeah, please rise the honorable judge pug residing.
Yeah.
Everybody get out your cameras and take a short video.
We need it.
We need it.
We need it.
We need a kangaroo cord.
Yeah.
So I think what she was pissed about is it was kind of funny.
She was saying that this person was missing and then she was relieved to find out they found
her.
And I pointed out, but you only make money when people go missing.
That's how you sell advertising.
So why were you relieved that this person was following?
Doesn't make any sense for your business model.
And I guess the slanderest thing that I was saying, which is just a opinion.
I don't know.
I could be a rock.
It's just a stupid joke.
No, like slander.
Yeah. That's none of that makes any kind of sense to call it slander.
All right, so this didn't work for iTunes because I responded, didn't take the show down.
Great.
Next thing I know, the company that does all of my syndication, Libsyn, calls me up and
says, we have a podcaster who is saying that you have,
it's taken her copyright and you're using your copyright
material and asking for us to take the show down.
Really?
Yes.
So now I've always been surprised that Maddox
hasn't gone after Libson.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Well, he doesn't know he can.
Huh.
Interesting.
Oh, yeah.
So now I'm on the phone with Libson
and God bless these people.
I don't know why, but the guy goes, listen, Carl, we're in your court.
Who'd you tell us to?
Job.
I don't remember his name.
I don't know.
But I don't pay a lot of money to Libson.
I'm not a huge client of theirs.
They don't need to protect me for any reason.
And the guy just said, listen, we're in your court.
You've done nothing wrong here.
This woman's complaining she wants us to take you down.
We're not going to.
I was like, well, good.
All right.
I'm saying, this works out well.
So now she's gone to iTunes.
She's gone to Libsyn.
She hasn't gotten the show taking out.
She's going to freak it out at this point.
She's freaking out.
She's threatening lawsuits against me.
So now she goes to, she has 16,000 Twitter followers
and this Facebook group with tens of thousands of people.
Uh-oh.
Oh yeah.
So now she gets the job winch mob engaged.
Oh really?
Oh yeah.
For your real job.
Yes.
Oh, now the dot.
This shit has got to stop.
Can I interject for a minute? Yeah, go ahead. Yes, go ahead
Not to get too serious, but and I know way am I advocating this kind of stuff
But when when you start fucking with somebody's livelihood, which in the ground?
Especially to a man. Yeah
Is the probably the most important thing
in his life.
People kill themselves, because they're not.
Maybe, even maybe more than their family.
Oh, it's absolutely.
It depends.
Absolutely, it's more, every time I see a fucking movie
where there's like, oh, you spend too much time at work.
Yeah, cuz work is fucking rewarding.
When you do this, when you do that,
and it has your intended consequences, you are signing a contract that
there may be consequences up to and including death.
That you are signing right then and there.
I'm not saying it's right.
And minecraft, death and minecraft.
I'm just saying you don't know how someone is going to react in the real world.
And people should be very fucking careful about what they're doing when they're doing that
kind of stuff because there are no rules after you do that.
Because some people have nothing to lose.
They don't give a fuck.
As cheaper than a counter suit too.
And 50 grand for you.
I'm just saying, and we have, I don't know that we've actually
seen it yet or it hasn't been publicized, but this kind of shit, this kind of shit is
going to have repercussions eventually. Permanent repercussions for some people who are no
longer going to be able to breathe. It would be interesting, like a son of Sam style retaliation
for one of these job lynch mobs.
It seems inevitable.
On a long, such an inevitable timeline.
People have killed people for way less than this.
Way less.
Way less.
It's gonna happen eventually.
Yeah.
Someone's gonna get loaded up
and I'm saying,
I'm saying,
any of this fucking knee jerk stuff
get the job lynch mob on people.
It's a bad idea.
Yeah, it's a bad, I agree with you.
Fucking idea.
I agree with you.
I think it will, I think it will happen.
It will be, it hasn't already.
Um, and it just hasn't been, you know, I think it'll be like a Ted Bundy style, like a
Gacy, like a memorable kind of memorable folklore,
boogie man tale that will tell until we'll tell forever. Yeah.
I got fired to show up and fucking killed them.
Well, I mean, people do, you know, there are the job shootings and stuff they go back and do that.
But it's, that's, but that's against, that's against an entity.
This is going to be against it.
People remember it when it's one guy.
Well, it's it. Yeah, but it's the right and it's it's not a direct thing.
It's when people get other people or they're not the person of authority.
There's somebody who's mad at this person. So they call his job who they have no affiliation with
and get this person fired. That is a different that's a different ball game. It is, it is crazy. And again, I, I blame boomers that we have a saying like getting stabbed
in the back, which is literally you're getting fucking stabbed in your back, but we live
it. We live it all, we live under the threat of all day because no one's been, no one, no
one yet has been retaliated upon for doing it. I don't think. Not in any kind of,
and the zeitgeist national way,
which we would all know,
we don't hear about it.
But it's definitely gonna happen.
That's definitely gonna happen.
That contract is real,
and you are fucking signing it,
and it may not ever come payment, but it may.
That's true.
I agree with that. Anyway, crawl.
What are you?
I saw this woman in your contract.
Yeah.
So she goes ahead and gets the whole mob up in a frenzy.
They post videos of things that I said out of context.
You know, the funny thing is is that I'm making jokes about a show that she put out. And there's actually people who maybe are abducting people. I'm not one
of those people. But yeah, yeah, it's good to clear the air on that.
That's right. That I was bad as the people who abducted people. Yeah.
I might as well have left one of these victims in a forest somewhere to die because as far
as they're concerned, I'm the worst person to ever exist.
Because you're mean.
Yeah, we've done so.
We've made somebody feel bad.
Because you're mean.
Yeah, it's right.
Guess what, I think you talked about the job lunch bomb.
This is an act of violence.
I am saying words.
I'm saying jokes.
It's entertaining for our listeners.
I'm not trying.
I don't actually go on and troll anybody on the internet.
I never at tag anyone that we talk about.
This is just fodder for our show.
These people decide that we're gonna ruin this person's life.
They all get it.
They all get this mission.
And I'm landing.
What was the name of this show again?
I'm sorry, I'm always the name of the show. They think they do think video games. They think they do think they're playing video games. Yeah, right.
What was the name of the show? The the vanished the vanished. Okay. It's a very popular show. Very big show. And this is the person who runs the vanished. What was her name?
I didn't say her name. You didn't say her name and she's the one that's going after you? I don't speak her name.
Okay.
So this is the vantage podcast doing this.
Okay.
Yes.
They've decided that it's very important
that I lose my job and like you guys were saying,
if a man loses his job,
you don't know what my family situation is.
You don't know who you're affecting when you do that, but they've decided that I said something they don't like. So they need to
just ruin everybody's life. It was involved with us, which is crazy. Yeah, you want me to
give this to Sean? I got to do, I got to give Sean a drink. Yeah. Cool. Sorry. Oh, shit.
Am I, uh, no, uh, I can be called my colon. No. Sean, I can't. Sean, I'm so hung over that there might be liquor on that can.
Oh, really?
Just full.
Okay.
I've seeped out to my pores.
So what did they do to you, Carl?
All right.
So this is March of last year.
My plane is landing in Las Vegas.
I'm on vacation with my wife.
I turn my phone back on and holy fucking shit, the shit storm had hit while I was in the
air.
There were thousands and thousands of tweets to my employer along with LinkedIn posts and
anything on social media.
They doxed me and everyone was ignited, let's go, let's go, let's get this guy's job taken
away from him.
Now, fortunately, I'm a partner at my company.
So I don't have a boss.
Yeah.
If did, I would have been fired that day easily.
But that means you have 10 bosses who are clients.
Well, that means every single one of my clients
is my boss, right?
Yeah.
And if somebody wanted to find out who my clients were and send them things I said out of
contacts, I'm sure it would cause a fucking whole problem.
Yep.
At best, an enormous headache.
Right.
Amazing.
At worst, you lose your livelihood and reputation.
Yeah.
So this happens and I'm just keeping a smile on my face.
Pretend nothing's going on.
My wife and I are engaged.
Hey, let's go to the bike check table.
Everything's cool.
Then the next day I get a call from my business partner and he says, Carl, I'm getting these
direct messages now and these people are pissed at you.
Can you take that episode down?
And at that point I said, yes. Now your foot, no, my business partner is involved. And we're
talking about, I'm like, all right, this is not worth it. So I went up to my hotel room
immediately and took that show off the internet. And they won. They win. This show is no
long. You can't find episode 88 and the vanished W ATP on the internet. It's gone.
I don't blame you one bit for doing that.
And at the same time, I fucking hate that they got their way.
Let me, I'm looking them up right now.
I absolutely fucking, it's so despicable.
But that's, it's a no brainer for you to take that down.
Yeah.
Oh, there's, there was no debate in my head.
No, there shouldn't have been.
Right, so they get to know for my business partner saying,
Carol, this is a problem.
Yeah, yes, then it is a problem, then we're done.
I'm trying to find their podcast site,
so I can learn more about the show,
The Vanished Podcast by Wondery on Apple Podcast episodes.
Here it is, let me see here.
Kayla, that was their most recent episode. Here it is. Let me see here. Kayla, that was their most recent episode. TheVanishedPodcast.com.
You know, a guy got fired recently by Mike Gamskrew. Apparently, the Lux Lounge, they got some,
it was brought to their attention that he was fired unjustly, which is nice.
By the way, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's funny that came up.
I live in Rochester, so does Gabe.
And I know Kerry, his employer, when you guys were talking about the other day, Kerry, she's
hired my band to play at that place a few times.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
My wife's good friends and thirds.
It's pretty fun.
Have you reached out to her at all?
I was thinking about it.
I was thinking about reaching out to her and just saying,
Carrie, FYI, you're about to get a lot of notices
coming through.
Oh, yeah.
And I just decided that too.
I would love to get her a take on it
if she wants to call in and promote her business.
Mm-hmm.
That's interesting.
See, we got the sun, the sun never sets on the dick show.
Right? No, we got shooters on every corner sun never sets on the dick show. Right. We got shooters on every corner.
We got motherfuckers everywhere.
Yeah, here it is.
The vanished 5,000 reviews.
Wow.
What a, what a cry baby.
To have a podcast this size and try to fuck up your life
over one one stupid review.
I mean, they are, the Vanished Podcast
are taking advantage in exploiting human tragedy
and victims.
They are flat out.
Are they making money?
They're making money.
There you go.
The Vanished Podcast and the people who run it
are exploiting victims and capitalizing
and making money on human misery
and it's reprehensible.
It's disgusting what they're doing. I'm just learning about it now. Yeah, go ahead.
That's a hundred percent accurate. And I'm not saying that they can't do that, but we could also say that they're doing that. It's fine.
They're doing it. I don't know how that's slander or liable. I mean, they are making money.
It's a business of the suffering of their victim. People are only tuning in.
I assume people are only tuning in
to beat off over the stories of the victims
who are being interviewed on the show.
That's true.
It's murder porn.
It's murder porn for people.
If the sad thing is is that these listeners think
that their altruism is going to be their shield.
They're saying we're what seem to the show because we're trying to save people and find them. Their altruism is going to be their shield.
They're saying we're what seem to the show
because we're trying to save people and find them.
Like, no, you're not.
Yeah, you're getting off from it.
It's just titillating, it's titillating to you.
Just like the people who like my show
because I call people a cunt.
It's just titillating.
It's the same thing.
And everybody who listens to the vanish podcast
is just getting off over suffering.
Correct.
And that's who they're catering to, Sean.
I don't know if you, I don't know if you agree with me,
but that's what's going on in the show.
I don't know.
I mean, if they're making money on it,
then I mean, if it's altruism, then put it out for nothing.
Give all the money to the victims.
Yeah, or give all the money to the police,
or else you're a bad person
and you're taking
advantage of people.
I think I have, but I have been to know the host of the show has quit her day job and just
is a podcast host full time.
This is her livelihood is making money from these poor people who are missing.
So call it whatever you want to call it, but that's what her job is.
Uh, Carl, does anything make you a ridge?
Yes.
What makes you a, okay.
And this, this goes back to actually a establishment in Rochester, New York, since we were talking
about Wux-Longe couple weeks ago.
I go to this place.
It's, it's a hole in the wall.
It's my corner bar near my house called Blossom Road Pub.
Yeah. And I go there because they keep the shades down. I can day drink and nobody's going
to know. Nice. I can just sit in there and get drunk on a Saturday at two and watch sports
and it doesn't matter. Okay. I walk into the other day and some fucking 40 year old asshole is having a birthday party. And everyone kids are there.
Oh no.
There's a bar.
Children in the bar and they think it's cute that the kids are sitting up at the bar
stools, ordering drinks, hanging out.
Now they don't have sippy cups there.
It's a fucking bar.
Yeah.
So they're spilling their fucking coolate all over the place or their coke and they're
just making a mess.
I'm sitting there with my friends trying to yell swear words at the TV and meanwhile there's
a four year old next to me that's ruining my entire experience.
Parents, it's not cute to have your kids sitting in a bar, especially in a diaper.
I guess you have one thing if you're at one of these chain restaurants and there's a
wait time. I even hate that.
Bring the kids to the bar.
Yeah, well, we'll get a pop before we sit down.
We don't bother to do that.
It's really, it's difficult sometimes to imagine how stupid the parent is.
Yeah, you know, because they've, first of all, the parent, the parental unit, the mother
and the father have been infected by the woman.
That's the root of the evil. They've had the woman. That's the root of the evil.
They've had the child, which is the desire of the woman.
And now they have to cater to the child.
I mean, they're the ones, they're the only ones who should give a shit about schools
and all this child safety shit, but they have been duped.
They have been duped into raising what is a permanently insolent and drunk version of themselves.
They have been tricked into this and they are thusly that dumb that they will, in fact,
they will try to infect this onto everyone.
It's important, you know, it's important to remember that whenever you're dealing with
the parents in any situation that they were stupid enough and getting tricked to having
this monster in the first place.
That's what I'm saying.
All right.
I just, I don't understand.
There was a time when, when you went to the bar, there was the one place that adults could
go and talk about adult shit.
Yeah.
And just assholes and we could just do whatever.
Like listen, I, I want to start it.
Man.
I just want to get drunk and watch the fucking game.
And I don't need to have a seven year old next to me
spilling his Coca-Cola over.
It's not cute.
We don't wanna feel bad about swearing.
I don't wanna feel bad about swearing.
I don't wanna, I want to be able to stop
stopping myself from thinking things.
Like I have to do all day, every day,
and every other situation.
I go home, it's not my fucking home.
I gotta think, I gotta be careful about what I think, so I don't say what I'm gonna
think if I start thinking, because that'll fuck up my day.
Can't think it work at all, because then I'm gonna type it, you know, then I'm gonna
type what I'm thinking, and that will get me fired for sure.
I would like to go to a bar and just let myself
open my mind up out of this prison
and think properly for a minute,
but then I got this fucking kid there.
I know, Matt, even if you let the obscenity fly around,
children, it becomes either you're convincing yourself
not to feel bad, am I a kid?
Am I still dwelling on it?
Am I being an angsty kid?
Like is this my last thing?
It's uncomfortable.
It's uncomfortable.
All I want to do is be comfortable.
It's why I go to a shitty corner bar
to just be comfortable and not to worry about it.
You don't expect a birthday party with kids in there.
What's that?
You don't expect a birthday party with children
in a dive bar.
He's a rat in cage, Sean. Yeah. I assume everyone in there is a scumbag and I'm actually
hopeful that they are. Listen, if you have to worry about it, if you see avocado toast,
you burn that place down. That's when it's gone. All right.
All right. I just want to say the last thing, I'm just the last piece of my story
about the vanish and our whole,
our escapades with them.
I'm gonna say I decided that while the show
was no longer available on the internet,
you can get it.
I will send you a link to it.
Actually, Kaya from the official podcast
was the first one to say,
can I get a link to that show's occasion?
No problem.
So you can get the episode if you buy our merchandise and just shoot me a picture of it.
I will send you a link to episode 88 and you check out for yourself.
It was so awful.
All right.
So it was very good.
I have to do that.
Got to buy one of his shirts.
Yeah. Yeah. we'll do it.
Okay, go to whoarethese.com.
You can find a link to our merchandise.
Okay, thank you, Carl.
Whoarethese.com, where they try to find out
who are these podcasts?
Right.
It's hilarious.
Some podcasts don't want to be found out.
Well, because Carl's like Emperor Palpatine,
like he just enjoys being bad so much.
Yeah.
And ripping on these people mercilessly.
I've never understanding their side.
Gotcha.
So yeah, like aggressively turning down the,
because I'm more intrigued.
I call in and I'm eager to shit on them,
but I try to have like a, and then I'll hear him do it.
I'm like, oh my god, you're such a pussy.
You're trying to balance it and understand this side. but I try to have like a and then I'll hear him do it. I'm like, oh my God, you're such a pussy.
You're trying to balance it and understand this side
and that's how he just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
It's great.
It's a roast, it's a roast.
We treat it like a roast.
Oh wow.
All right, get out of here.
Thanks for calling in.
See ya.
Amazing.
Okay, let's read some comments.
I had a news girl who was gonna come in today.
Big old tits, blonde girl, wage gap got her.
Again?
Again, another one, got another one.
Cut down in a prime.
Big old tits come in, wage gap.
Really?
Out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere, a wage gap changed her plans from going to Vegas from noon to the night.
Oh, which she found out today.
The wage gap did this to her today.
Okay.
An hour before the show.
Really?
Yeah.
These wage gap monsters.
They'll hack your shit.
I know.
If you're a woman, change your plans.
You can never see them coming. It's damn shit. I know. If you're a woman, change your plans. You can never see them coming.
It's damn shame.
Damn shame.
How are we doing today?
Am I too drunk to do this show today?
No, it's lively.
It's lively, that's good.
Let's see, let's get some comments.
Matt Johansson,
what makes me a rage when you go to pull out of your driveway,
parking lot in your inches away from actually being on the road,
but people act like you're two feet over the curve.
Oh yeah, honk.
Yeah.
You mean like, that's what you're saying, right?
They act like you're out too far.
Yeah.
When they, the preemptive honk,
yeah, they're just like, oh, he's gonna pull out.
It's like, no, I have eyes.
You know what, if I had, if I had notch money, if I had a billion dollars, I're just like, oh, he's gonna pull out. It's like, no, I have eyes. You know what, if I had, if I had notch money,
if I had a billion dollars, I would just drive,
I would lay the pedal on the fucking ground
and demolish your car for that shit.
Yeah.
You watch it.
You better watch your ass.
But some people do pull out stupidly.
And you can usually read that.
It's like, he's gonna fucking do it.
This motherfucker is gonna do it. He's gonna do it. Yep. He's gonna fucking do it. This motherfucker is gonna do it.
He's gonna do it.
Yeah.
He's gonna fuck this up.
Yeah.
They take a massive swerve onto the other side of the road, as if to say, if I had continued.
You know, that's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Miss you by 10 feet.
That's, I'm fine with that.
But when they lay the honk on, because I think, if I was the type of person that would have
fucked that up, the honk wouldn't do anything.
Yeah. So you have wouldn't do anything.
So you have taken advantage of me in some way in this.
I'm calling the police.
Okay.
Let's see, another guy says,
oh, you remember the guy who wrote in about saying
that gay came from that boys, little boys and little girls
were both called?
Yeah, it's like, nae girls.
It was nae girl or whatever.eve girl. Yeah, it was naeve girl.
Yeah, or whatever.
And gay, gay girl.
Yeah.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, I do.
So little boys and medieval times were called naeve girls.
Yeah, it was last week.
I remember it.
And girls were called gay girls.
That shit was true.
No, it sounded like it would have been true.
That guy knew what he was talking about.
It's that's where gay came from.
So if you were a little boy,
you would be called not a
naïve girl.
That's a gay girl over there.
Hmm.
How about that?
Oh, yeah, you're no naïve girl.
You are a gay girl.
Makes a lot of sense.
Interesting.
That's how we use it.
That's how I write.
I use it.
Hmm.
Uh, resans as help a stereos.
The lawsuit is the topic that got me interested in this podcast
and continues to be the best content on the show.
I don't know how I can help him if he's not going to call in.
Like, I don't know how I legitimately don't know that.
I would love to help Asterios.
I would love to bring him to Australia, but he's got some kind of mental block where he
thinks that you don't want to talk about everything on the air.
Well, yeah, and then also it will hurt him.
Like, what did I say in the very beginning of the podcast,
talk about it all the fucking time.
And he said, I can't talk about it because of work,
and then work fucking fired him.
Yeah.
You should have talked about it then.
You should have talked about it the entire time
because then if they fired you,
it was obviously because of that.
And everybody who's gonna give you money to fight it
will be when it's hot.
Like you can't do this while, you know,
there's always somebody who doesn't want you to talk about shit.
There's always a reason to not do things.
There's always a reason to not talk about it.
That's true.
I don't know how I'm supposed to help a guy
who's not gonna call in.
I'm tempted to just say,
I'm tempted to, I have this thing
where I like to incentivize people.
Yeah, I know, and I think, yeah.
I'm following this.
I'm tempted on the trail.
I'm tempted to give either Astero's or Maddox money for this case depending on who we'll call in first. I thought that's
exactly where you're going and that was not disappointed. Wouldn't that be a funny? I mean,
I mean, that's a hell of a yeah. I usually can't make the right decision on his own.
Usually I can't follow your trail that closely.
I did. I really did. I was like, he's gonna say that, isn't it?
Can I say that? Yeah. How much do you think it was?
It's gonna hinge. It's gonna hinge on a call in.
That's whoever calls in first, it's gonna get money.
Yeah. How much would it be?
I don't know. I don't know.
Let's start with a hundred know. I don't know.
Let's start with a hundred bucks.
Start low.
Okay, nobody's calling in for a hundred bucks.
Well, let's see.
Let's see, money.
It is.
Let's see, money.
But nobody's calling you.
All you gotta do is call and say, hey, what's up with me?
No.
That's a call in.
It is.
A hundred bucks.
Neither of them are gonna call in for a hundred bucks.
Well, let's find out.
Let's find out how much their ideas are.
Get raised every week.
Oh yeah.
Oh, okay.
This Wayne Dick Mastersons money.
I gotta do style of fucking phone number.
Right.
You don't have to answer any trivia questions.
The same Ben Stein here.
This is, yeah, this is.
One answer, the number.
You call the number.
You call my number Sunday at noon when we do the show.
And whichever one of those two is...
We do the show at 11, Dick.
And that's when we start, we gotta wait for it.
We gotta wait, that's gonna be what we're counting down to.
Sunday at noon, esterios, hermatics, calls in,
whoever calls in gets the money.
It's a hundred bucks right now.
A hundred bucks this week.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think that's fair.
I mean, I'm a man of incentives, Sean.
I know.
Yeah, that's true.
There is nothing else in this world.
Yeah.
Ah, it's from Uncle Buck, dude.
You're dead on about broads and social media,
but it goes even further.
I'm a married guy.
Been married for almost eight years, two kids.
Next to impossible to get my wife to look up from her phone
or away from the TV to have a conversation with her.
And it's not attention from guys
because I keep an eye on that shit.
No, I know exactly what he's talking about.
It's just not having any identity anymore.
There are times when I'll get her to look up, to pay attention to me.
And there's literally nothing I can talk about that is of real interest to her outside
of our mundane shit, like money chores.
You know, when I go visit my sister, I'll stay up there for the night.
We'll go up there for the night.
And when the kids go to bed, she is instantly on her phone and I get it.
I get it and I think, man, that sucks.
Like, I get it because you haven't had your phone
all fucking day.
Yeah, you've been dealing with the kids,
dealing with the fucking kids, but then it's like,
it's how you're like unwind.
Honestly, like, but it is like straight.
It is like watching a fucking heroin junkie.
Yeah, and I am,
or at least chemicals in your brain.
I am unbelievably guilty of it, but your brain. Unbelievably guilty of it.
Me too.
Me too.
It's sucks.
Yeah.
Hell, half the time I can't even get a story out of her about something that happened to
work.
As soon as the kids are in bed, Facebook's just.
Can't even get a story.
Really?
Yeah.
See, that, she must be the only one.
She doesn't want to tell you about what happened at work.
When they, when you have kids, it's totally different.
The calculus is totally different.
They put the kids down and then it's phone.
It's phone until they pass out to a Netflix documentary.
You mean, so it's just like a guy who goes to work
and then comes home and needs to write?
Yeah, women have become men. Hmm.
I don't know and I can't even, I like my phone so much, I can't even say don't do it.
I know.
But then it's just nothing.
It's nothing on the phone, just a bunch of bullshit.
Just a different form of escapism.
Maybe you know what, honestly, you know what, it might be a good idea.
Get a phone jamming thing and put it in your house for a week and just see what happens.
It's like withdrawing from heroin called turkey.
Yeah.
Just see what happens.
Yeah.
Ah.
Somebody either ends up dead or divorced.
I'll you win either way.
Eddie says, what's up, dick? Hey, this week's episode was good. I'm divorced. I'll you win either way.
Eddie says, what's up, dick? Hey, this week's episode was good.
I couldn't stop listening after work.
I just sat in my car and finished the episode.
Your guest was so right.
His name is Caputti.
But I know, you know who I'm talking about,
about certain people.
There is nothing to be done because even mild
to moderate attractive girls,
I can get on their phone and get that dopamine hit like said.
I'm not in the in-cell community or anything like that.
I take it where I can get it and I don't do bad.
But I feel for the guys that have a hard time, I wish internet dating would go away to
be honest.
Dude, I love that shit on the boomers time.
They fucking suck.
They got plenty of it this week and they won't admit it.
I do really fucking hate boomers.
Yeah, they've been really your,
they've been your target
because they've been fucking with me my whole life
and I see their weakness now and I'm gonna exploit it.
Right, I got their throat.
Let's call up a bunch of elderly people
and ask them for their social security numbers after that.
Hey, yeah, that's what I call,
I go through the phone book
and I call like old looking, like boom looking names.
Yeah, eat it so easily, so right.
Hey, what's your social security number?
Yeah.
And then they give it to me.
I say you dumb bitch, don't ever give your social security
a click.
Yeah, right.
That's what I do for fun.
Right.
If I have to drive anywhere, I just call a boomer's
and scam them out of their credit cards
and then yell at them for doing it.
Do you want, fuck it, idiot?
If I had a million dollars and I were to give it to you
if you could find a phone book in this house,
could you do it?
I can't find it.
If you gave me a million dollars to find a phone book,
I wouldn't know.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
I would start breaking into houses to find it.
Yeah, I would just charge into the door.
Give me your fucking phone book, who's got a phone book.
PS, I think you're starting to realize
how stupid Trump is, false.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Like I know you like to be able to shit on
whatever you want and be controversial,
but dude, you can't tell that you reached a point
where you know Trump is a fucking moron.
Guys got billions, he's a smart guy.
Are we not there yet?
We can't say like, yeah, he's a smart guy.
Would you ask Trump for investment
like retirement advice?
I would ask anybody who has that much money, I think.
I would ask.
Yeah, I mean, because you're probably going to,
even if you're not a smart guy and you have that,
when you want to know,
because everybody, everybody, everybody may be smart, and you have that when you want to know because everybody everybody
maybe worked more and something.
Sure.
Yes.
Yes.
This is from Kurt, Kurt Mert.
The Virgin Contest really worked itself into the back.
I was just guy guy laid because the Virgin Contest, I didn't sign up but hearing about
it in the show was going to drive me crazy.
I was lonely awkward, only child,
whoever only talked to girls without it being weird.
Oh God.
Here comes a coffee.
That was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life
telling up coffee.
Yeah.
Cause I knew it was coffee.
That was,
well it came out the same temperature as it went in probably,
right? Yeah. Yeah. And because I had drank the coffee to not be hung over. So that was
like my hangover, that was like the devil working against me. Well, because caffeine can
help with, with hangovers a little bit. I've just always done it. Yeah. It's always been
there for me. Huh. Yeah. I mean, I I mean, I've had really sour stomach from coffee occasionally if I was hungover.
You have a sensitive stomach?
No, not generally, but just every once in a while.
I was a lonely awkward only child and never talked to girls without it being weird.
In high school, a girl, girl in class started choosing me for group assignments and eventually,
she wants to fuck, and eventually asked me to do the city hawkins dance did you have a city hawkins dance in school it's a junior high thing
isn't it i don't think it happened in high school it should have i was always looking forward to that is a
key like i heard about that i was a little kid and i always look forward to that i only remember it
i think i think it happened in junior high or maybe I'd learned about it. Did you have one?
Did you have like 20 chicks asking you out?
I honestly don't remember if we had one.
I couldn't tell you for sure if we had one.
It seems like we would have.
Fun.
God, it's a day.
Right, the girls have to ask the guys.
Right, that's the whole point.
Yeah, it's fun.
Yeah, I wouldn't take it out.
She was a year ahead of me in school
and was nearing graduation.
One night we went out and we sat in her dry,
and my car in her driveway,
and I was too cowardly to kiss her.
Oh man, that's brutal.
First, the first time I kissed a chick,
it took me like probably 20 minutes
to work up the nerve to do, to do it. Pathetic.
Soon after, she said something to me about having a boyfriend
since she graduated and had a boyfriend,
took her, didn't want to see me.
This haunted me forever.
Oh, no, no, no, excuse me.
Soon after, she said something to me about having a boyfriend
since she graduated and had a boyfriend.
I took her that she didn't want to see me again.
This haunted me forever.
I had to quit Facebook. I couldn't she didn't want to see me again. This haunted me forever. I had to quit Facebook.
I couldn't handle seeing what she would be up to.
I thought about her every day and built up crazy scenarios.
Yeah.
Where we would somehow get together.
Yeah, you're not alone, man.
No, I'm looking at this Hato Mi Tsunaka picture.
All I want to do is give her a nice place.
I told you, yeah, it's home.
Right.
Building up scenarios.
But she wants to get pumped by a bunch of dudes, but I'm banned on Twitter.
So I can't contact her in any way.
That's what's stopping me.
Yeah.
Through a few other superficial relationships, it still followed me.
I had oneitis for her bed.
I eventually looked her up while I was drunk and saw she had two kids and a husband.
This sealed any chance I was crazy enough to think I had.
Made me stop thinking about it for a while.
A few years past and I'm talking to a girl for a month.
She doesn't respond to me on Valentine's Day.
Like a rational person, I got drunk to drown out the thoughts.
That sucks.
In a blackout, I rage quit Tinder and deleted all my texts.
All right, man, you need some motherfucking Zen.
Yeah, I'm gonna be honest with you.
If you're, I identify this, I identify with this big time
and I need it and you need it and we all fucking need it.
A little bit of oh, that's fun.
That's not rage quit anything.
When you're at that, when you got that big red delete button
in your face, you're gonna fearously punch your finger
to the fucking pot.
You're so close to it and you just cannot,
oh, you just cannot be objective in any way.
Few days later, I reinstalled the app.
There you go.
Oh, with the thoughts of wanting to get this contest behind me.
After a few swipes, I saw the girl from high school. How about that? Yeah. So he saw the girl he was, in fact, he's been a
vacuator. Who was married with kids? And probably no longer married with kids, right? I was paralyzed with anxiety. I saw she was divorced and no longer religious.
All the feelings I had returned
at the risk of being ignored by her.
I swiped right.
That night we matched and the anxiety made me unable
to sleep.
Oh my God, the lives we lead.
The next day I started messaging her.
I expected to never meet.
Then after an agreement of dinner, I expected a platonic
dinner where I would fantasize about asking her back to my place after, but I would never
do that. How interesting. That's where it ends. No, no. Just that comment. This is how
much men understand about themselves and never say. Like you know why men aren't emotional because we understand ourselves completely and it's
not we're not going to get what we want and we're just stuck with that.
I don't know if everybody understands themselves as well as this guy does.
Maybe you're right.
I don't think everybody, I don't think every man does.
We agreed to meet a week out.
As we continued to text, she brought up if she could kiss me.
What, like on his penis?
I don't know what do you mean on the lips?
No, woman should have her skin.
They're texting whether or not that would be okay
when they meet in person.
Yeah, people flirt in weird ways.
Yeah, I guess.
I brought up wanting to do more, expecting to be laughed off. Yeah, people flirt in weird ways. Yeah, I guess. I brought up wanting to do more,
expecting to be laughed off.
Yeah, well, like when a woman says,
like, you want to kiss, you're like,
yeah, can I tie you up and ask fuck you?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, just a kiss then.
Yeah.
Just joking.
Right.
She wholeheartedly agreed.
She sent me picks of her nice cans
and was probing me on what I would do to her.
The weight was killing us.
She was able to come up a few days earlier than agreed to.
She came to my place and we started it within minutes and went several rounds over three
hours.
I really have to thank you for setting this up and making me run into the fate meeting
of a girl I ruined myself.
Wow.
That is fucking crazy and an amazing story. That is crazy
That is crazy. How many years in between high school and this happening? I don't know
I would imagine he's not he's probably not our age. No spring. Yeah, he's not I mean, but he's you know
So maybe maybe came from high school into the mid to late 20s or something like that. I don't know years
You think she even knows?
Who knows? And then what, then I never talk to her again.
Yeah.
I got that out of my system.
What a bitch.
She started reading the ingredients on a menu.
Yeah, I was like, oh shit.
Oh, it's a woman.
Oh, well, because that person would and could never be
what you've built up in your mind as the
be all-end all of fucking humanity right there.
You know what I mean?
It is fucked how attraction works.
Like you really wish that you could just zap it in your brain like crank it like just
to stop, stop, stop it, fucking zap.
Get it out of there.
Um, I got some advice questions too.
Let me see if anybody's in the eye want to talk room.
Oh, Rommel is there. Oh, yeah.
Oh, really? Rommel, what do you got?
You got something to say?
We haven't heard from Rommel in a long time.
How you doing, man?
You were just sitting here with this fucking cat.
He's really annoying, but I guess I'll ask you,
you guys are both Gen Xers, right?
Yes, very much so, yes.
If anybody calls me a millennial,
I'll punch them right in the fucking face.
Right, that's not really my millennial of you.
You guys are like the Gen X Boomers
and the enemy of my enemy is my friend,
but the Gen X Boomer has its own,
its own few like stereotypes.
It's like where you guys like still remember when shit was kind of good, but you still think
it can go back to those times and like you haven't like accepted that that's just not
happened.
No, I don't think it can come back to those times.
I think we're fucked.
Yeah, never going to come back.
Okay.
Maybe that's just my habit.
You guys, the boomers are going to be sucking the life from your bones until you're dead.
Oh yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Gen X is where the last ones who will ever get
the joy of owning a house.
You guys are all, they're gonna hook you up
and just hook pipes into your veins and feast on your blood.
Yeah, you live in like a 10 by 10 room
where you're just happy with masturbate
and a porn all day or something.
Yeah.
Keep a simple.
I just don't need one in the book groups and shit.
Hey, you and Kimble working on something? Are you guys working together?
He's been really busy lately.
Oh, and I got a few things. Eric, the red wants to be your news babe next week.
He keeps talking about it in the chat.
Oh, okay.
Well, we'll see.
Tell him that the picture's been busy.
I'm thinking about jumping on this podcast train
and recording something later this week.
It's probably gonna be shitty at first.
Do you have a name for your podcast?
Do you have a name for your podcast?
I'm just gonna be like a thousand island show.
Oh, okay.
That name's stuck, you know, it got
set on the show. I remember hearing that some really gay sounding guy called in. He was
like bitching about thousand island supreme. Oh, he is gay. Tanner is talking about. Oh,
was that the okay, it's gay sounding because he's gay. What's his name on Facebook? I think
he's actually in our group. Tanner Gregory probably is. He's great. He's the top gay.
Yeah, he's the top gay.
Yeah, he's in the fucking group now,
which is ironic.
Was he being serious or was he like,
just was that facetious about what?
Just like freaking out like,
well, our group doesn't have thousands island supremacinate.
There's does, there's does.
I don't know if that was during the call with everybody. Yeah, everybody.
Right.
Yeah.
That was so fun.
So fun.
I don't know of you.
It's hard to tell if anyone serious ever for me.
I don't have that ability.
I'm autistic.
Mm.
So I was hoping I had time to go get some booze, but you got me in right now.
Well, does anything make you a rage?
Um, what makes me a rage?
Let me say.
You know, you want to stay on?
I'm going to read some advice questions.
Maybe you should maybe you could help us give some advice to these people.
This is from Magnus.
Should I go to prom?
I mean, I'm 18 single male and fat, and I'd have to go alone.
But should I go?
It was like, good, good, good, aww.
18, single male and fat.
Why, why go to prom?
I mean, that's what we have to decide that every weekend, right?
Is should I go to prom, is getting dressed up
and going to some fucking bar?
Cause you wanna get laid, right? You wanna get some pussy. That's the only going to some fucking bar. Cause you want to get laid, right?
You want to get some pussy.
That's the only reason to go to prom.
Otherwise, you'd rather just play Call of Duty with your friends at home.
Oh, it's been spent $400 going to fucking prom.
Yeah.
A gigantic scam.
Rob, what do you think?
Did you go to prom?
Fuck no, I dropped out my 10th grade.
I got much of you.
Did you really?
Yeah, dude.
What was that?
Why?
Fuck, I fucking hated high school, man.
I just, it was, it was, it was, high school was like the old DIC show Facebook group, just
like nothing but drama and like dick measuring contests.
Yeah.
That was, I wasn't, I wasn't for that.
You just dropped out and got your GED?
Yeah, I'm actually going to a community college right now for
Fucking a telecommunication sounds like Christian Slater a little bit a little bit
I'm going to community college man. What's your parents say about that? I was just sick of the high school
Oh my dick sick of high school dick measuring contaz, you know what I'm talking about
I mean, and I think you do, dude.
Your parents don't have a problem with that.
They also didn't like that I was named Rommel.
My dad, he was like pissed at me for a while and then he was just like, fuck it.
I give up, you know, I'm just, I'm going to stop fucking being at angry at him all the time.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, so he got bars on this guy.
I wish I was done that in college. in there. Ball's on this guy.
I wish I was done that in college.
Actually I had fun in college.
I only went to work classes.
I got it a lunch.
Dear Dick is a coxman.
I have a great success rate
when it comes to closing the deal.
The problem is,
afterwards I've gone from wow,
this girl is amazing and I like everything about her.
She has so much interesting shit to say. She smells great. Look at how pretty she is to.
Okay, what time is it? How long is this broad just going to lay there and talk about her feelings?
How comfortable she is with me, her ex this and her job that Jesus is that back hair. Oh my god.
Get the fuck out of here. I need to sleep! Then I realize I've only been laughing when I'm saying something funny.
She isn't funny.
She's actually fucking boring.
So then I subconsciously pull back and we all know that drives them crazy, constant
tax about how things seem different now and when will I see you again, et cetera, before
I know it, I'm back to swiping right on every hog in these apps that will pay me a modicum of attention.
My question is, is there a way out of this cycle?
Should I just never fuck a girl,
or am I doomed to be smashing randos into my 60s?
I always feel like I want something more than just that,
but after the sex, my interest level plummets every time.
Thanks, Nicky.
What do you think, Ramo?
What do you think, Ramo?
There's a period of your life when you're like,
you realize it's easier to just jerk off.
I mean, I think he's gonna come to that,
he's gonna come to that realization that,
why would I use all these things
when it's cheaper to just stay at home?
I can do what I want and I'll just crank one out
to whatever media I wanna watch.
I'm talking about that. I'm talking about that. I can do what I want and I'll just crank one out to whatever, whatever media I want to watch.
I mean, it's not a media. It is, there is this weird thing where I think guys banging
broads compulsively like this is like the new being gay.
Like, you know, you know, the old stereotype of like a guy
would go to a secretly go to a bath house and then like feel this weird guilt and revolve
Revolge in about all his gay activities. Yeah, that's become being straight where they're you're hooking up compulsively.
You're obviously obviously lying to this woman in every possible way to coerce her into gratifying your sexual
impulses with no, like, no, there's nothing genuine about this.
And then you're wondering why you feel disgusted by it.
Like, well, yeah, you condor into bed.
Well, it sounds like he would like to, he would like to like her, you know, afterwards.
And then he's just like, Oh, God, God, you're terrible.
She's not near as interesting as I thought.
That's normal though.
Cut.
Cut.
No, no, no, no, because I'm guys are looking for that.
You're like, yeah, guys are looking for too much in women with boomers have convinced
us that there is that the end all,
that the answer to life's question
is at the bottom of a woman and not the bottom of a bottle.
Where it actually is.
You are not going to get the kind of camaraderie
that you expect out of a woman.
What you're experiencing is how it's been designed
and how it's worked for thousands of years stop questioning it.
That feeling is totally normal.
That's why work exists.
Get up, stop thinking about it, go to work.
I got a hot take for you right now.
Go ahead.
It's from Maxwell.
He actually just p.m. me.
And he, I mean, I don't really want to get in between all of this but he said um that that tenor Greta Greta guy him and blood
Found out that that guy's a pedophile
Oh
Come on
He said he said the details of the pedophilia is that he had sexual
Sexual relations with a guy that lived with his parents and mentioning
Having to drop him off at school afterwards
What do you mean? What's cool? It sounds like high school because he refuses to say the age of the kid. Yeah, that's terrible, Ramo. What is that's a terrible thing to say? I'm just saying,
I'm just the most important. What if it's not true, though? What's going to happen to you if
that's not true? That's a horrible thing to say about somebody. Plus said it. Not me.
Oh, what are you going to do to play?
That turns out not to be true.
I don't care. I, you know, I'm just saying what they say.
That's terrible. That's terrible. That's not, that's definitely not, that can't possibly be true.
This is not going to be out there. No.
That's the first time I was, I was almost not going to say it because I know that's like,
was I'm oh, it because I know that's like was at the home, but you know, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, That's terrible get out of here get out of here. That was nice to hear. Yeah. Yeah.
Those guys just say they say anything.
All right. I'm gonna play a fucking Wild West. This is from then we'll do voice mail as we get out of here. This is from this is from Kendall and hide. Yeah.PC from UCB, here we go.
NPC from UCB.
But I...
No.
What are NPCs?
How can I explain it?
Heard of Blue Hair Chief Easily, but if you laid it, they're kryptonitis comedy.
Yeah, they fucking hate it.
It's the late at night at UCB is where they've congregated.
Now UCB's the group of geeks and women who won't date them.
These guys are further eyes from thighs because it is degrading.
But hey, I might get laid if I applaud this chick on stage.
Yeah, I'm laughing virgin ever.
Jokes enjoying and look completed.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Trumps of jerk, I hate him.
Blubble blubble, Jhinus Kof.
How have you not made it?
Hi, uh.
There's a little bit of vagina.
She made me cry, bro.
Did you get her fired?
I tried to. She wants a man, I. Did you get her fire? I tried to.
She wants a man, I guess, that's why we didn't work out.
Three years later, still obsessed, so I spurred out.
Hey.
Because this ex left the wedding with my best friend.
It's nothing happened, but I'm pretty sure they held hands.
No, they won't.
I'll see you in the seat.
I'll see you in the seat.
I'll see you in the seat.
Because I might be gay.
Dixiel straight and white.
Hey, face it.
He must maintain a red blouse.
Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB. Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB.
Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB.
Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB.
You know what happens, me?
It's everybody.
Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB.
Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB.
Hi, I'm an NPC from UCB.
So funny.
It's comedy.
UCB Dean here, dick, I have to tell you. the jokes are too spicy, so I have to expel you.
The uptight kiddassist Brigadier's had a vote, and you named him, so you decided we just can't take a joke, man.
Shoot, bamboos!
Get out of here, you gotta go, man!
It's a bit from Puday, NASA's fucking got me by the go-nass.
Wait, not so fast, one more thing I must ask.
Dick, could you remove your pro-pup, you'll have to be so fast.
Dave's face comedy were real trans theaters.
Look, because if your book we've been bombarded with letters,
Dick hates women,
kick him out, you better!
Sincerely, a totally real journalist, Heather!
At first I wasn't sure,
because you're usually just chillin'.
But hey, you sure do play out quite convincing Disney villain.
Oh, one troll's quite like Dick,
gives no fucks quite like Dick,
no one eats the damn souls of dumb cuck's quite like Dick.
Guys, delete all videos with methods that performant is, of dumb cuck, sweat like dick, yikes. Delete all video deals with master's death performances.
There's nothing I find more offensive than E-Normant's dick.
I flun in my big religious sits once and he looked at me.
Oh my god, that's not okay.
It's masculine toxicity.
You dumb, dipshit, drop-linch mob kids.
Half-dough business running comedy clubs shit.
One-tunced, ticked off.
Quick, let's shoot our dick off.
Anyone who chits the throeling-go-dick dog.
Shake-holotitions.
Let no pressure relicions!
Jokes at the expense of those who honor honor K-Lex, three hours later.
Is there anything we're missing?
Stupid balding cussies took the vicious legal fisting!
Dabers!
Wheelchair!
Fat guys with red hair!
What about free speech?
Don't care!
Please just love me, I'm dead inside!
Oh, I'm like, do you like my life?
Bokeo fro!
That person is great, but at UCB it's skin-deez.
Pricks will get you fired if they do not like your comedy.
No one wants to book me.
Get a job.
That's not happening.
Alexa, what the average calorie for LA activate?
Chaos Cowboys in Indian.
Fagirling Argentinians.
This is so funny.
Pricks, we take that.
Digermix.
Debrals, conservatives.
And you can give me a year and a world that never comes up with lyrics like this.
Shabot.
This top game.
Close off the J.J.
Essential bisexual, cocaine-f, closed off the J.J.
Essential bisexual cocaine fuel for white.
Facebook, Civil Warlords, Cudder, Retipping Predators.
Sorry, no teetals allowed.
We're not a fan of Predators.
Cucutio.
Other blushes, so good, come on, come on.
Liam Neeson, give that penis back to Scott Solo.
Beef cut.
The NPCs at UCB are lacking creativity.
Why can't they see me?
I'll just need to hate each other equally.
They seem to be all just need to hate each other equally. Derek so clever. Yeah. All right, in this Facebook news. Who's doing it?
Tom McCoy. Tom McCoy.
He stepped up, he's got another one,
he did it last week, he's gonna do it.
Did you notice in that song,
the three hours later was from,
was the imitation of the guy from SpongeBob,
because three hours later, the Jacques Cousteau.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
The details.
Well, I love the brown M&Ms.
The brown M&Ms first was, yeah.
Everybody who contributes to the show does the brown M&Ms
themselves, right?
Metallica, there is shit on a van Halen for saying brown M&Ms, so they would know that
everything else was done right to the rider.
Yes.
The people on the show submit things and you have to you have you can pay extra special attention
and notice.
Yeah.
Even that even that is a joke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
To be noticed.
Yep.
Is unlike any other thing.
Yeah.
The uh, how have you not made it line?
Fucking got me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Complete flattery. How have you not made it, can I get laid?
Can I get laid?
Can I get laid?
Can I set you pussy?
Right.
Is it soft?
Mm-hmm. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music In the Dixho Facebook group, Flatius announced his 20-year friendship with an Indian man
and did recently over text.
Flatius posted screenshots in which his ex-friends claimed he took Umbridge with his off-color jokes
about Indians at social gatherings.
Jack comments, you sound like a chick.
Our next story is Daniel.
Whose dad keeps showing pictures of naked women to his wife and asks for advice to make
it stop.
Response is included. Politely ask your wife to let him touch her boobs.
Just punch your dead. That's how you become a man. Establish dominance and fuck his wife.
And show your dad who is boss by raping him. Lastly, your dad is showing naked pictures of women to your wife. Did I get
that right? Wait, I missed dad is horning in on your action. Dad, your dad is showing
your wife pictures of naked women. Yeah. Have a serious fucking talk. We got to play that
I got to make sure that's what happened.
I think that's what happened,
because that's why they're saying,
fuck your dad's wife.
Yeah.
To assert dominance.
Hold on, here we go.
And ask for advice to make it stop.
Here we go.
That is actually the first step in the road
to becoming your own grandpa is swapping wives.
A son and a son and his father swap
wives while watching cosmos you can find it online how you become your own grandfather what it's a lot
it's like I think it was mark twain was one of the it's been there's a song about it and stuff but
it's like basically I think it works out to be coming your own. I don't know.
I'll fuck it up.
You fuck some, you fuck your mom.
The first thing, no, no, no, the first thing you, I guess he divorces his wife, he gets
remarried, and then you swap wives.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Look it up.
Well, no, it's legal.
Then you have to, yes, I'm talking to the legal system.
Legal system. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Here, this is what happened. No, you're not Philip J. Fry or, you
know, in future or on the next or is Daniel, whose dad keeps showing pictures of naked
women to his wife and asked for advice to make it stop. Okay. Yeah. How about telling
your dad, knock the shit off. You got to lay dad down.
Like, what the fuck are you doing?
Like, you got to see, you know, the beauty about family is
the law does not enter into it.
So you can threaten your own family
with pretty much with whatever you want.
Yeah, you can't threaten a person
because it's like the law will get involved,
but you can go to your family like, hey, Dad,
if you ever do that again, I'll burn your fucking house down.
Yeah, you can say legally, I'm pretty sure
a legally that's okay to say to your own father.
Because he did this to you.
You have in the, in the carmic sense,
you have cart blanche with the father.
You owe him a few things.
He owes you everything.
Well, I mean, you know, but I mean, he did this to you, like, doped by a woman into creating
you.
Yeah.
I mean, you, you without your consent, you owe him a few things.
Right.
You owe him several grievances.
Yeah.
You've, yeah.
Yeah.
You fucked me around for a lot.
If you show, he's got a, he's got a few things coming.
It's a infinite, coming. It's infinite.
The response could be infinite.
You're not in the wrong because it's his fault.
That's what I'm saying to you.
You show another naked picture of any woman to my wife.
You're gonna become a woman.
You're gonna become a woman.
Yeah.
You boomer fuck.
Responses include me or dad, who who is boss by raping him.
Lastly, over in the Dixho Facebook group, the Gabe Joblinch Chronicle has reached a
tragic conclusion as we learn that the handsome and hardworking Porter Reacon has been replaced
by yet another white man.
In the wake of this injustice, this reporter asks the perpetrators of this op, do you care
about the effects of my game in the Hispanic community?
Yes or no?
Yeah.
Amazing.
Thank you.
This is Facebook news.
Very good.
Yep.
Very good.
Very good.
Very well done.
Very well done.
All right.
Let's see.
A couple of voicemails.
What time is it?
How long have we been recording? About 2, 15. Well done, well done. All right. Let's see, a couple of voicemails.
What time is it?
How long have we been recording?
About two, 15.
Jesus.
Like that.
I thought we were gonna have a short show today.
Well, let's do some voicemails.
I think I had that woman got wage gaped.
It was coming in.
Hey, just let you know I'm not coming in.
What do you say?
Say, okay, I expected that.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, man, my dad taught me three things.
All of them have served me my entire fucking life.
Yeah.
Every day, every day they've served me.
Use other people's money.
Yes.
Because you can give, you can give, equity out,
you can't, and you can get it back, you can give it out,
but you got an inexhaustible supply of money.
You got to find out about a money.
Give out, use other people's money.
If it's bad for you, it's good for someone else.
If it's bad for you and good for them, excuse me.
If it's good for you and bad for them, it's illegal.
If it's bad for you and good for them, it's illegal. It's bad for you and good for them.
It's the law.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
And three, don't rely on women.
Never will, it will never fuck you up.
All right, here you go.
All right, dude, just call me in again.
Who?
I mean, instead of the follow up of a rage, I wanted to leave a more
expository, a real message. I mean, after, after, I think it was a more expository real message.
I mean, after I think it was a last episode.
I like that.
Hearing that ethereal.
If I was a black guy, I would just you,
that would be fun, right?
Expositive, like, you know, he's black.
Okay.
I'm not talking about that.
I'm not talking about that.
To me is the end of a legacy, a guy. I love it. I like it being called attention to. Like, ah, you fucking, you especially, you fucking bucked. Especially on application checklist.
Yeah.
You really swore the un-laptop.
It's just, we can't have any fun with this shit anymore.
I know.
There we go.
Let's see.
Think about it.
Your head sagging.
You know, I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I can't have any fun with this shit anymore. I know
About that
Y'all had sodas the dick show has sodas. It doesn't have doesn't have individual to me episode
It has it's like brain balls in shimmy honey
Almost almost look up my gang on be like that. I ain't gonna be like that
But real talk as a basketball America I go up with some rag and balls and shit
see that's funny you had to freeze a cycle
which is dope
it's funny that uh... you know
go cool is raising his hands in there for like fifty episodes of shit
i got time for that
and you know that you're gonna have time for that
raising hands up in the air and i got time for that
right
the voting cycles yet that was that the voting cycle was that one of the great raising hands up in the ocean, I get up to that. All right. The voting cyclists.
The voting cycle was one of the greats.
You know, spread out, they're going voting.
And then at the end, I mean, you know, they're going to
glow in even right.
The right thing comes in too.
Thank you.
And here in the stereos, lose his mind
on having the spread up both for Trump at like,
I'm thinking 2020 and shit. Not having that kind of
situation with anyone but a furious on the 2p. That's one thing that I've learned watching
the show. This is a win. That's a thing. You're goddamn right. It's not just that he wins. He like ask a girl what wins with Claire. It's not just that it works style. It's that after it works, you can't
believe it. And you just all I can picture is when I do shit like that or I listen to
dick and I and I try what he says and it's right. I just imagine dick with the biggest
shitting and grin ever. And it's just like, I like a boy. I knew it. I'm
with the faith. That's yeah. You know, that I'm just worried. That's
all I'm saying. Just a humble message. You know, you're friendly
neighborhood for a rich and basketball America. I'm going to say
point of 20 is going gonna be a missout.
I'm gonna sell it. I'm worried too.
Oh, now he's got me worried.
Well, let's see how my incentives work.
Okay.
You know, yeah.
100 bucks.
Sunday.
What's next Sunday?
He give his name.
I got his funny.
I don't think so.
Sunday the third, March 3rd. Whoever calls in it could be
Maddox, it could be esterios. They get a hundred bucks for their law issues.
Maddox can go to law. Lawfirm.org, lawfirm.fun, businesslaw.law.law.law.
Orsterios gets it.
Yeah.
Well, I think you're gonna have to raise the amount
if you want this to work, but.
Why?
100 bucks is 100 bucks.
It is.
Who would shun down, who would shun on 100 bucks?
Depends what you have to give up for it.
I would do pretty much anything for 100 bucks.
Okay.
You got 100 bucks?
Whatever you want me to do.
You're a little more open.
You want to open a dog.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That's from Beetlejuice.
Really?
Yeah.
I'll chew on a dog.
I do not remember that line.
Yeah.
Where does he, when does he say that?
When he's doing his ad.
Come on, dad.
Wow.
Chew on a dog.
Jesus, I don't remember that at all.
Yeah.
You got a problem.
All right, there you go.
Hey, this is George. I just had a revelation.
I think I know exactly where the soy boy face comes from.
I don't like the open mouth smile.
I think I get it.
I think I get it because these are women taking these pictures, right?
Yeah, somehow.
The women are getting taken.
Do you know what he's talking about?
The open mouth smile?
I'm just imagining it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I do it.
I do it. Really? I've done it. Yeah.
Hey, check it out. The consumers of them. I think that's just it. It's the way to garner
the favor of the women after a low value man. Like the picture of the guy you can give him
an intent of switch place girlfriend. You know, I'm more masculine man.
Maybe he's a once in a tenders.
I have got him in the tenders switch.
I like him.
I work out.
And I was like, kids, I'm not a sorry cuck.
You know, I'm asking that I'm like, thank you.
I appreciate this school of teaching.
But like, the insecure guy, he needs to, if he really lays on two thick,
because he's trying to get laid, he's not like that, because that's what he thinks a woman wants. And so we told us, what happens when's trying to delete, he's gonna act like that
because that's what he thinks woman wants.
So we told us, what happens when you listen to women
at the moment, don't know what they want
because they don't know, you know that they don't.
You know what, maybe that's why black guys
never smile in pictures
because they have so much pressure on them,
about how to act,
because I took pictures of them,
like, hey, look at this shit. You're taking a fucking picture.
Why smile at all? Like you're selling, look at this fucking snow
cone or this fucking dog that I'm wearing. Look at how much fun I'm having.
Why else am I taking the picture? To show you how much fun I'm having.
That's right. Because I can't write. I'm having fun on the picture.
I'm supposed to, hey, what are you doing?
I'm fun.
Ah!
But it's now it's like, don't you wish you were here?
See what a good time I'm having?
Yeah, but now you get, if you post a picture
of you going with your mouth wide open,
ah!
People will make fun of you.
Hmm.
That's no good.
That's being a bully.
Yeah, you're being bullies.
Everyone who mocks you for doing that soy smile,
and they do do it, is being a bully.
And maybe that's why there's no room for bullies.
That's normalizing bully behavior.
Look at this.
Look at all these pictures of these guys smiling.
Look at this.
See how happy they are.
Hold on, no, let me open it.
I'm trying to open it.
Open the original.
Yes, please.
Thank you.
Look at these losers.
Smiling with their mouth.
So wide open, you could fit 10 cocks in it.
Is that one guy Jamie from Mythbusters?
Where the fucking guy with the glasses and the red beard? Yeah, I think it is. It's Jamie from Mythbusters
If you smile so wide that you could fathom that you could fit 60 cocks in your mouth like a pack of cigarettes like file footage found ah
That's somehow the gatekeeping of smiling is trying to control men.
Look, guys, women try to control men all day every day.
Don't help them.
Don't ever criticize a man for doing anything unless you have at least
criticized 10 women for doing something.
It's the one to 10, right?
If you're going to criticize a man, you better have criticized 10 women for doing something. It's the one to 10, yeah. If you're gonna criticize a man,
you better have criticized 10 women
before you do that, or else you are a traitor.
Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha see was that funny yeah was that was i joking uh... could you say yes or now you know what i don't have no idea i don't
i'm not offended either way here you go
uh...
joe pal bp
makes me a rage is
when k
when you're home over
then you gotta keep going to have that you gotta get that nut off right yes
Yes, it's the only thing like off. It's the only thing that you're even sure it
I mean it gives you by your time or by you time
Yeah, sick
It's like yeah, you got an if you're hung over you got a nut to buy you're on a no it ticking clock man
I mean I've been here for
Thank God I got you know I'm you know what I'm talking about.
Like three out before you came in the, before I came in the studio.
Before the coffee came back up, and then 80s girl had to go have brunch with her friends.
It's like, you got to cancel that shit.
I need this, you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, okay.
You know what I'm talking about.
I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. It's the only thing that cheers you.
It doesn't even cure it. I mean, you've talked about it before.
But when you're in it, it's likely exact opposite.
It's still a full body hangover feeling where it feels like you've got a deep
tissue somewhere and it's everything fucking hurts.
But every time like
it if you even see something remotely erotic and you did just starts to
twitch a little bit like i was going to be beat down by that
hate that muscular
oh no matter what the way you're sick
being a little full of
uh... just gorgeous women they're talking about all the things they want to do
you knew you know deep down that you can't do it because it feels like you're dicks been in
a meat grinder. And I fucking hate that feeling, just knowing that no matter what you can't
I can do it because you're everything hurts to touch. You fall or hang the next dress. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I want to call him a gay name. I want to call him a gay name for saying that he can't get his dick up because I have
forgotten how hard it is to get off when you like the flu or something.
Yeah, and that is bullshit.
Man, up.
I don't remember any, I don't remember any experiences with that.
When you're sick.
Yeah, yeah.
You block it out because you don't want to imagine what a gay
name you were. Yeah, I'm pretty rarely pretty rarely sick. I'm sick all the time. Like I mean like I
don't consider having a cold sick. I know and I hate that. Yeah, because I say are you sick and
you'll say no. No, I'll say I'll say I have a cold. So yes yes is the answer. Yeah, but is that, I mean, is that sick?
Yes, it's sick.
Is it sick?
Is virus is raping all your cell?
Sick home and bed?
I consider sick home and bed.
That's annoying.
That you have a different, yeah.
Yeah.
It's yes.
You've got a virus, you've got other organisms
going through your body.
I consider functionally sick, home and bed.
No.
I know.
I know I'm sick.
Are you infected with a virus?
Yes.
I'm going to ask that from now on.
Yeah, okay.
Are you infected with a virus at the moment?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Always.
Hey, dude, I got a fucking rage for you and your buddy Sean there.
Okay. fucking rage for you and uh... your buddy shunned okay that go and i get beer from the grocery store instead of the gas station a lot of
times to get some
food and other ship such as alcohol so
why i'm i go and get the beer or check it out
some old fucking kid is bringing me in and has the yellow cross the store
when they scan the beer.
Code seven, code seven.
They need somebody of age to.
Apparently kids can't, if you're under 18 you can't sell alcohol,
but I'm just like, yeah, you're still.
Because then the whole world would be fucked.
I won't tell, you don't have to tell, just ring it in.
I don't understand this is law.
They don't give a fuck what you're getting they're trying to get you in the
line and out of the line and they're not selling out all the uh... i don't know
i just don't make any sense to me it's just in the fact that it's called code
seven when you do that they have to yell that like it's a fucking
that's some sort of operation everything's under lock down it
seven it's just it's good killed me it one of the many, many things wrong with this country.
Yeah. Can't a kid can't sell you alcohol. What has become? I know of this. You can't. I know.
Lawyers. Is that what it is? Well, I mean, I don't know. It's not. It's actually not, but it's
it's women. It's women. That's what it has caused it. It's much bigger than the store.
It's kind of what I'm saying.
Like there's, you know, it's not like the store manager goes,
we have a policy that it's like, no, it's way bigger than that.
It's a state or the Fed or we just need some,
we need somebody to go around going,
why do you care?
What is your fucking problem?
Why do you care?
Stick this person in a salt mine.
They care too much about things.
All right, everybody. That's it. I'll see you next Tuesday.
It's so it's so annoying. Yeah. Here's the beer. Would it take less time for me to just steal it?
And should I just take it? Is that less of a hassle for me to just take it then for you to
involve all these other. All right. Let everybody ponder on that for the week.
Ha!
See you guys later.