The Dick Show - Episode 146 - Dick on Tickle Day
Episode Date: March 19, 2019Windshield wipers that go too fast or too slow, the creator of the Steam game "Rape Day" calls in, mass shootings and the mental illness of "what did you think was going to happen?", my Dr. Phil tapes... are held for ransom, 50 retarded ways to leave your lover, a new news babe comes into the studio, getting pat on the stomach, and how to be creepy; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Happy St. Patrick's Day, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
I think I'm not going to drink on St. Patrick's Day this year.
Oh, he say that's like it.
You can make that decision though when you get to a certain age.
Well, because people think like you're obligated to go get totally fucked up on St.
Patrick's Day when you're in your 20s and stuff.
And then you're like, why do I I wanna go out to fucking amateur hour?
That's a good point.
Yeah.
The older, the older I get, the fatter the women get.
All right, Sean.
That's what I always say.
Why go out?
See a bunch of fatsoes,
swilling themselves with booze.
I haven't heard that before.
And pinching each other.
That's all they do.
Yeah, yeah.
No real like rustlers.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Try to drive, drive cattle into a shoot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get them up there.
Yeah.
Ah, okay, let's do a program today.
Ready?
Yeah.
All right.
Ready this time.
It's gonna work.
There it is.
Ha.
Yeah. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, Hey, welcome to Dave you want to do you love to do you got it as a show everything's a contest
Come to your life from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of city failure. I'm your hostic master's in aka the 20 million dollar man
Boated America's best Mexican 20
Seven I think it's try seven with me is always his LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer. Thank you
Thank you, thank you, both of you.
Ha ha ha ha.
Very good.
Oh, very good.
How you doing?
Good.
You watched, you finally watched the cartoon.
Finally, after weeks and weeks of delaying
the bonus episode, Shenanigans.
Well, I didn't watch the cartoon.
You didn't even watch it?
No, I heard it.
You just listened to it?
Yeah. You weren't curious enough to? No, I heard it. You just listened to it? Yeah.
You weren't curious enough to go watch it after that?
No, because I was still in the throes of edit hell.
Oh, man.
I need to though.
Yeah, you do need to.
I'd love to see finished animation on it.
Yeah, a lot of people...
A lot of people were shocked at how much animation costs.
Oh, it cost a shit load.
Yeah, we paid 25 grand for that eight minutes of animation
and I think they would have build it at 80,000.
Five dollars.
I don't doubt it at all.
That's why I didn't realize until I got into cartoons,
just how much ADR work is done on cartoons.
Because depending on whether you go like Korea,
a lot of the animation's done in Korea,
it's very, very inconsistent.
You get really good stuff and you can get shit stuff.
And if it comes back looking like shit,
you may have to rewrite a line for the actor
and get them to ADR their own performance
because the animate,
because it's much cheaper to get them back in the studio
than it is to do a retake on the animation.
Yeah, it's very expensive.
Very expensive.
Yeah.
Well, give it a look. Maybe we'll watch it today, not. Very expensive. Yeah. Well, give it a look.
Maybe we'll watch it today, not on the show.
Okay.
I can't bear to watch it a second time.
It was hard enough for me.
Yeah.
Just watching, watching my own stuff is always,
makes me cringe into a singularity of discussing self-loathing.
I mean, I've never been able to do it.
That's a, I've heard actors say they,
that they never see their own films.
I see how, how could you?
Yeah, because you can't,
but you'll just critique everything.
You know, right?
I mean, what if you're like Daniel Craig
and you're going to watch yourself being James Bond?
You're like this fucking jackass, this guy.
Yeah, I don't buy this.
I don't buy this at all.
Yeah.
Who's this guy?
Who's this fucking jerk?
This clown has no business
and international espionage.
Speaking of watching myself,
the Dr. Phil tapes,
I've gotten a sign of life on those,
the Portuguese gentleman or Brazilian gentleman,
whatever he is who speaks Portuguese.
Brazilian Portuguese? Yeah. Maybe he's from, yeah. Is that what they speak there? Brazilian gentleman, whatever he is who speaks Portuguese. Brazilian Portuguese?
Yeah.
Is that what they speak there?
Brazilian Portuguese, yeah.
He's from Brazil.
I think we're gonna have to send Izzy Nobre
over to his house to rough him up
or something like that to get these tapes
because he's told me, this is what he said.
This is what he said when I said,
hey, give me those tapes, I give you a thousand bucks.
Yeah, give me a thousand bucks.
He said, he said the video quality is good.
Something like 36p or 480p, which at the time,
broadcast at the 10 years ago.
360 or 480, can you believe we used to watch
that Vaseline covered shit on TV?
But is it worse now on TVs that are made for digital?
Like was the picture better on analog televisions
at standard definition?
I don't know.
I don't know enough about picture.
I look at like sports on standard definition.
I'm like 70.
How did you see them?
What are they throwing around?
Yeah.
No wonder an answer is sucked now.
Like you need them.
You can see what's going on.
Back then, I don't know where the fuck the ball is.
It's amazing.
Like a high speed sport like hockey.
Oh yeah.
Do you remember when they did that hot puck?
Fuck the fuck, the fuck the track tracker.
The fuck's tracker.
Yeah, try to give more people watching the game.
And then it would turn, it was blue,
then it would turn red if the shot was over 90 miles an hour.
It's so distracting.
Yeah, so it's so terrible.
It's not, I don't believe, I don't.
Why don't you have it?
It's not difficult to follow the puck.
It's a black puck on white ice.
Something like 36p or 44h80p.
The video posted on YouTube is not very good
because I lost quality in the program
when I put the legend up and then I uploaded to YouTube.
So he's talking about why his YouTube version is crappy.
But he put up the whole episode or the, he put up a lot of one episode enough so that
I believe that he actually has them.
Wow.
Which was great.
You think it's great.
I know because it's, you kids, it's, uh, it's poof into the ether in this country, right?
It's gone.
It's gone everywhere.
Ten years.
I've been looking for these files.
Never would I think that they would be inaccessible
when I threw my TV and they had them.
I thought, well, they're gonna be in syndication first.
Of course, my life is gonna laugh at this shit, right?
But the women that were on the show sued the show
for making them go to dinner with an naked man.
That's what happened.
And somehow they won.
Well, the episodes are, they got got removed or just a world coming to you
As I said in the other email. This is what he says to me
He's getting real so real turn he went from hero to heal as I said in the other email
I would like X amount deposited in an offshore bank account as I I said in the other. Small unmarked bills.
I am the weakest link.
You can receive the video and not pay.
After all, I am from Brazil.
The fuck does that mean?
I don't know.
I think he means like if he was in the US, he could sue me or something.
I am from Brazil.
Well, if he's in Brazil, then he could probably murder you, right?
I mean, isn't that fucking content? Yes.
Right with criminal.
It's got to trick me to get down there. Yeah. He's got to send me. He's got to send me
some honey pot shots. Hey, Hey, Chico. Come down to Brazil. Is that how they sound there?
So just hands whether you're from Sao Paulo or what's the other one, Rio. I'm from Brazil. So just send the videos after you send the value.
So just send the videos after you send the value in PayPal.
I think that's a transcriber.
Transcription fuck up.
So I'll send the videos after you send the value in PayPal.
And he has further stipulation.
And I do not want these negotiations to drag on.
Oh, okay.
Since you've come back at them multiple times, right?
Like twice, do you mean us?
Is it a dude?
Come on, yeah.
I got a reputation I've pulled here.
I'm not gonna shaft you on a thousand bucks,
but I have no idea.
If I pay you and you are struck by a meteor
in between clicking the upload button and getting my thousand bucks
I look like a fucking idiot. I look like I just got scammed by the stupidest person in the world
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Sending the fucking, sending the videos up until yesterday you thought they had no value at all
So either make shit or get off culldren
Which by the way way, I appreciate the sleuthing efforts
and the top lotism of the guy that found this,
but next time in the future, don't tell people
there's money involved until you get what you want.
That's my, that's my dick tip out of this one.
Okay.
Because as soon as money, hey, I saw you had those files.
You want to send them to me?
Oh, what about the money?
Yeah, there's money involved.
What about this money?
Yeah.
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well,
because you never know who's on the other end of the line.
I'm just busting ball, so.
I do not want these negotiations to drag on.
If the deal does not materialize this week, oh, that was good
English. I'll delete the videos. Oh, you're handsome. I'm going to, if I don't get 10,000
likes, I am killing this bunny. The videos, these, these mob files get it. If I don't get
what I want in seven days, I'm gonna shun these videos
into oblivion. Oh, he doesn't say if he's gonna empty the recycling bin though.
So, I'll just dig.
I'll delete the videos because I do not think
you really have an interest in the videos.
Although, oh, I have such an interest in the videos.
Although, I believe them to go viral between your audience.
That's what he says.
He didn't sound like a listener. No, no
He doesn't sound like a I don't think that's a good negotiation, but maybe it is
Don't move what a video gets these videos get it. Do what he said what he said he's not bluffing
Why would he delete the videos that have no value? Why did he have them in the first place
if he's gonna delete them?
It doesn't work.
It works on life.
Right, yeah, $1,000 or I'm gonna delete these files.
Why don't you just not send them to me?
Right, like, right, that's so funny.
Why are you deleting them?
Yeah.
The hell is wrong with you. Make me come back. So I said, let's so funny. Why are you deleting that? Yeah. The hell is wrong with you?
Make me come back.
So I said, let's use an escrow service,
which people suggested that,
but I think it's kind of pointless
because even with an escrow service,
I still have to approve it, right?
Gotcha.
So I didn't think that would work
because I understand that he's,
I understand that he's handicapped in a money way.
People are often handicap with money
in that things that have no value,
suddenly that they're seen as valuable, they destroy.
Like with his brand new pet who's massaging it
and then destroys it.
I said use an escrow service and he said,
I do not know and trust only PayPal.
So you make the deposit, send you the videos.
So there we go, I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I can send him money via PayPal
with seller protection and then like yank it back.
I think I might yank it back just to fuck with him.
Oh yeah.
No.
I have his name though.
You do.
Yeah, maybe I could find,
I find his parents and say,
hey, I'll give you guys a thousand bucks
if your son sends me the video.
Oh yeah, right.
If you can, they'll be over at his house and I've heartbeat.
Yeah.
It's Brazil.
I kind of think that a thousand dollars
means more there than it does here.
Oh, I'm sure that it does.
We'll just wagon his dick around like his Montgomery burdens over here. Oh, I'm sure that it does. We'll just wagon his dick around like his Montgomery burns over here.
I'll delete the videos.
I'll do it. Give me that thousand bucks or I'll do it.
Why not just not send them?
That's funny. So
and he kept them.
So he was a fan in some capacity.
And now he wants to do me dirty.
Yeah, that would be, you know, that would be such an odd thing for him just to like, maybe he was like the biggest Dr. Phil fan in the world.
And he went through his archives and he happens to have, oh, I have the Dick Masterson episode,
has no idea who Dick Masterson is, but it's just a rampant Dr. Phil fan.
He went to the effort of translating them.
Okay.
Just to get this comedy joke that was that show
up on YouTube and exposed it to more people.
And now he's gonna do me dirty by deleting them.
I don't know.
What happened with Mark is like Mark McGuire's home run ball.
Maybe this is how they barter, you know, in Brazil.
I don't know.
You just threaten and then it cave.
Oh, there's a lot of violence down there.
There's a lot of violence.
What happened with Mark McGuire's home run ball?
Didn't the fan catch it and he gave him a million bucks
for it or something?
I can't remember if it was McGuire or something,
but various historical home runs,
there's been negotiations between the fan blocks
or I'm gonna unwind this ball.
I'm gonna give it to my dog.
I don't think it was a million,
but I think there's definitely been six figures paid, I think.
But how did it go?
How did that negotiation go?
Give me the money.
I don't know that Mark McGuire's good for it.
Well, I'm gonna burn it.
They just go through, usually they try to say,
like, we'll give you a bunch of memorabilia,
take pictures, we'll give you all kinds of,
we'll give you his bats, we'll give you a uniform,
we'll give you all that kind of stuff,
and they try to make a trade first,
is how I understand it, just so he can, you know.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know, I don't know what to do.
Have that ball that he juiced over the wall.
Hey man, sometimes you got a juice,
yeah, makes the game better.
You know, baseball is in such a bad place right now. Yeah. Makes the game better. You know, baseball is in, is in such a bad place right now. Yeah.
There last season, I think, was the first nobody cares about this. Nobody cares about baseball.
Yeah. All right. You're talking about baseball is worse than watching baseball. It's just so,
the book, though, but the game is really boring. Now, I know people go, God, it's so slow, but there's
walk, strike out, home run. Softball is gonna take it all.
Those are your only options.
Softball is gonna take over baseball,
and I'll have to kill myself.
Yeah, well.
My sister will spike that in my face every day.
Let's see what else,
what's the see what I got here to make me rage?
Man, okay.
I don't think, I don't, I think this is a universal problem.
I don't think this is a first world problem, but
windshield wipers. Yeah, they don't ever go the right speed windshield wipers going
When when I'm driving with somebody and
their windshield wipers go and
They let it they don't slow it down because it's going too fast and going over the
empty windshield.
I don't know why, but I want to grab the wheel and drive them off.
I don't know why that drives me so insane because it starts, they start skidding or they
start.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
Hey, idiot, will you turn the wipers down?
Just, I know it.
It's, I know where the knob is. I'm going knob is. They should put that knob in the middle
of the car. So it's always out of reach of the passengers because if they moved it to the middle,
there would be a million more deaths on the road. We fight here. Yeah. For fighting to do that thing.
You know what? A lot of the, at least the higher end German cars have for years, the wipers, they know
what speed you're going.
So if you set it and you're on the freeway, when you slow down and get off, the wipers
will slow down because of this.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's why you get more rain because you go faster.
I thought the rain was just going more.
Well, you're just getting more, you're running into more.
I guess you're just running into more.
It's getting wetter faster, but it's, they do slow down. I've been in cars like that. I just always assume.
I didn't think about the, I always assumed the rain was just going more when I was going.
I've never thought about it if I was going faster or not. So as you go faster, you should
crank it up a look. Well, go ahead. Yeah. I mean, that's what the that's what I've been in
a Mercedes. It was like that. All of a of a sudden it was like, oh, whoa.
And you, you don't touch anything. You slow down.
You come to like a stoplight or something.
It slows way down.
First of all, second of all, the clicks are like 10 miles apart.
I know.
So there needs to be a couple more increments, doesn't there?
Turn it on the first one.
And it takes about a minute and a half for the blades to go across.
They're, they're going so slow that they don't even wipe the wall.
They just smear it around.
And the second one is mock 10 slapping around obnoxiously.
So I'm riding the not, I'm riding the notches.
The entire time I'm driving.
Yep.
I'm texting with one hand and writing this click, click, click, click.
I don't even, sometimes I don't even remember the drive.
Steering like your knees.
Spent the whole time adjusting the fucking wipers.
Yeah, there needs to be a couple more increments.
Then yeah, like all of them need to be,
I need one max speed and then I need 10 more speeds
between zero and the first one,
or the first one and the second one.
Whatever is the one that's just a tiny piss
of juice into the wipers and then the next one, whatever is the one that's just a tiny piss of juice into the wipers
and then the next one, which is totally useless.
Fuck three through seven.
Never use them, never will.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know, because we've had a shit ton of rain in Southern California for us.
And yeah, driving around all the time and it's like constantly when you're stopping
go traffic or just like slow down to 30 on the freeway and then back up to 70 or whatever.
Oh yeah, you're constantly,
you're constantly leaving with that thing.
You're constantly leaving with that thing.
In a covered gas station.
What in the fuck is this guy?
What kind of psychopath is this gentleman?
I know, he's leaving the wipers on idiot.
You're totally covered.
He's upsetting everyone around him.
Everyone's going insane because you won't just
shut your wipers off.
How do you not see it?
How do you not see how frustrating the wipers going
on empty glasses to everybody else?
Was it you who, you told me about a commercial for,
I don't know what it was,
but it involved somebody shutting or not shutting
a refrigerator.
Yeah, I was not shutting it.
Yeah, so it tested so poorly because-
All the way down. Yeah, they just, you't you need to know that that guy shut that refrigerator
before you walked away. Turn your wipers off. Turn your wipers off. It's driving me fucking
crazy. It's too there's not enough rain for your wipers. Turn it off. It's going to
vet. The water evaporates before the wiper blade gets there. Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn
it off. Turn it off. No, no. But what are you gonna say? Just that?
No, that.
Then you've wasted one yelling at a person,
everybody can get yelled at once per day I've found.
Okay.
And you gotta really save it up.
Yeah.
You gotta hoard your yelling at people
in case you really need it.
You know what else?
That's what I wanna see in a car.
I don't care about MPGs.
Yeah.
Have you ever measured the MPGs of your car?
I mean, maybe once a couple cars ago, out of curiosity.
Oh, these, this car lies about its MPGs more than this car is lying about.
It's a, first of all, I really am going to get this one because of all the MPGs.
Yeah, that I get.
Yeah.
Never get what they're, what they're posted.
No.
I want to see an ad that says, we have the first America's first infinity scroller
on the window wipers, not notches.
And it's just a guy who's increment,
like continuously variable, like a nod.
Yeah, it's like a VSO on a tape machine.
I would buy that.
As soon as I did that,
you incrementally increase the voltage
and it just goes a little faster, a little faster, a would buy that just incrementally increase the voltage and it just goes
a little faster, a little faster, a little faster.
Yeah.
It's a guy with his friend and then maybe his wife and he's just riding it like a throttle.
Yeah.
Eee.
Eee.
And the chicks in the back coming their brains out.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Hey, get a load of this.
Hey, bitch, get a load of this.
Eee.
And it just crawls one wipe. Perfect. Hey, get a load of this. He gets a, hey, bitch, get a load of this.
And it just crawls one wipe. It drops. Got a lot bigger. Oh, yeah, one wipe. Then right toward the end,
when you got them all heated up turned on, you just fucking bam, bam, bam,
back to the, yeah, the wipers fly off the car into the substandard windshield wipers
of the next car.
Well, it really is annoying.
I don't think it's just me.
No, I think if you took a car to an African nation
that had, I don't know if they have windshield wipers over there,
but you, and you let it go.
I'm not sure they have windshields over there.
You let it go.
If you showed them what a windshield is and a windshield wiper
and you let it go more than once on an empty windscreen,
I think they would say, click, click.
What are you doing?
What's, why did you not shut it off?
We definitely don't need this.
We're gonna eat you.
Yeah, that's what's gonna happen
because it's driving everyone insane.
That would be fair.
Turn your fucking windshield wipes up.
Okay, let me see what else I got here
Hot women leaving your workplace. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, yeah, definitely true
Give out a hot woman leave your workplace
Yeah, yeah
That's rough. Yeah, thinking way back you walk by her desk long, while staring long way, or like when a hot woman at work is gone,
is not sick that day.
Yeah.
Oh man.
That a sucks.
The bummer.
Um, let's see here.
I got the, you wanna talk about that shooting?
Well, the Christ church.
Was that what it is?
New Zealand?
I saw that video.
I mean, not really.
No, I want to, I mean, I can't see it being a whole lot of fun.
It's pretty fun.
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Get ready for some of the point.
Get ready for some letters.
You know, you know they banned Milo?
They banned Milo from Australia.
From Australia?
Yeah, and then he was unbanned.
And then this guy shoots up a mosque and he's banding it. What did he comment on something? No, no, it's just, it's just
them because it's his fault somehow. Yeah, I think, yeah, it's his fault for, it's his
fault for holding other people accountable for some people. So they're, yeah. Oh, man,
we watched the, or I watched the video, I was watching the video, I saw,
somebody sent it to me on YouTube,
but I was still on YouTube.
Yeah.
It's, and 80's girls watching me watch it,
was like looking at what I'm looking at,
cause you know, I'm seeing murder in my eyes,
so obviously a lot of it, she comes over
and goes, what's going on here?
I said, oh, you don't wanna watch this.
This is the video, this is the thing that just happened an hour ago.
He's like, no, no, no, no, it's not.
I'm telling you 100%.
No, it is.
That it is.
Just kept watching.
What do you mean?
Do you live stream it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
On Facebook, you know, no one has a problem with Facebook.
And of course, I kept, I had to tell her it was an even when people, she's like, no, this is obviously
fake.
Like this is not fake because we're used to seeing movies and it looked exactly like,
like it looked like hardcore Henry.
It's like, oh my fucking god, this is really, this is disturbing.
Oh, yeah.
But I'll tell you what makes me a rage about it's the people giving their acceptance speeches
about violence.
I found is annoying.
Acceptance speeches.
Yeah, the pundits who have their Oscar speech in their pocket ready to go when atrocity
likes us have attention everyone. We should rank everyone, I, we should rank them.
I think that's what they want.
Everything, yeah, I know.
Who is the most, who is the most,
who cares the most about calling attention to how
everything is politicized to the end of the greeno?
That's what I was gonna say.
If I ever get mowed down in some kind of violent act,
I want my last, my last text is going to be,
don't take my guns.
I want to be politicized the moment before my body
even hits the ground.
Right.
I don't want this.
It's very funny to watch people try to balance the,
because everybody's,
everybody's a huge blire about this, right? They're only talking, they're talking about
the sun, the news. It's like this happens all the time, blah, blah, blah. It's very funny to watch
people way looking good for wanting to not politicize it, for not wanting to be opportunistic about it versus how extremely effective it is to do that.
I know.
You know what I mean?
I know because you've got a lot of people following
these talking heads or politicians or whatever around
and it's like they look to them,
they look to them to tell them what to think.
Yeah, this is full, go full bore.
If I'm, if it ever happens to me,
go for it immediately.
Put me put Marionette's on me.
You know, do the haul,
hold your gun, and then tape guns in your hands.
Yeah, tape guns.
He wanted it this way.
He wanted the corpse.
You have my permission and my encouragement to do so.
Yeah.
I think the one, I think the one thing
that bothers me most about it is that it's,
it's, everybody says the guys, they trip over themselves, call them mentally ill.
Sick, sick, sick.
Yeah.
It's a sicko.
Yeah.
This sick, sick, sick man.
I don't understand it at all because I don't see in any, I, I think he was highly indoctrinated or indoctrinated himself.
I don't know if that's mental.
I think he's as much of a zealot as a lot of other people could be.
I don't even know what for.
I read the manifesto.
It just seemed like a giant troll.
Like I know, I was trolling when I see it.
No, that's what he was.
He was a troll, but it was like, I guess his, you know, he was, he aligned with communist
China, but then also, you know, I don't know. He was, he was an avowed white supremacist,
right? He said he did it to create terror and picked that spot so that because it was like
the least likely spot that should prove that nowhere is safe. So, I mean, he sounded like,
I don't know. I said, I also saw that some terrorists came out of the mosques over there, then.
Like a long time ago, I read some articles
where there were a couple of terrorists,
I don't know if it was the same one or not,
but that, I thought, well, wait a minute.
What?
Is that true?
Well, what, you mean there were some,
like terrorists who happened to be down there?
No, at one point, like people were here.
Let me, I brought the quote in from the article.
I don't even know.
I don't know.
I've been in an old article.
How does that affect this guy?
Well, you know what I mean?
Like is he like, I gotta make sure no more terrorists
come out of New Zealand.
I mean, isn't it?
Like the same, the same.
No, you can't do that.
Of course, it's illegal.
No, he's saying, isn't that a value that we have?
Like it seems to me like he just took the values
we've been shoving down everyone's throats for years
and enacted them in real life and then called it sick.
Like isn't de-platforming something that we do?
Isn't blaming, isn't blaming singular people
for like how can you separate,
but what values, the value of punishing whatever you can,
like assigning blame for a couple to an entire group?
Yes, that is absolutely a value that we have.
Every time Alex Jones gets, gets pilloried
by everybody for basically nothing
Digi bro is called a pedophile
Universally because of some crimes other people commit Gavin McGinnis is has his life destroyed by
I don't know the SPLC the FBI most of those
Milo's banned from an entire fucking country, but's true, but a lot of those people were banned
because of what they did and said.
What did they do?
No, didn't say our different things.
Well, I mean, yes, that's true.
But it's like, that's their world.
But they're not.
They were banned for because something they say
resembles something other people say
who also do bad things.
That's true.
That's exactly what this guy did.
The D-Bare for sickness.
No, sickness isn't an image in everybody.
I don't, I mean, I wouldn't think he didn't seem like he was mentally ill.
I know.
He seemed like he had a hardcore belief like this is worth, this is worth dying for it,
like our, our Middle Eastern terrorist mentally ill.
Well, that's, so that's, that is also like the, I don't think so.
Then I see the other side going, I have, he's a terrorist.
He's a terrorist, he's not mentally ill.
He's a terrorist.
Wait a minute.
That's better.
Yeah.
What would you rather be?
No, terror works.
Terror is a smart system.
That's what he do.
That's what he do.
I think he's, I call him a terrorist. If that's not a terrorist, I don't know what is. It's, it's nothing. It's
a word people use to write somebody off because they don't want to talk about why they're
doing what they're doing. Well, there's terrorists. Yeah. So as, this country is based on terrorism,
but terrorists attacking lone merchants, but they're fucking tea. Well, terrorists have a, they have a belief system and a set, their own set of morality
that they subscribe to above all else.
But does he?
He seemed to?
I don't know.
I mean, I read the thing.
It's, I read his manifesto seems like a fuck control.
I don't know.
He was concerned about what was going on in Europe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that seems like the branding war.
The working definition of terrorists to me.
It's a branding war.
Is he a terrorist mentally?
Oh, we got to have our, we got to get the right label on this guy so we can stop thinking
about it as quickly as possible.
Well, that's all we get before the next atrocity.
You know what I mean?
But it's, people need it.
Like they can't, the-
Oh, we like to compartmentalize.
It's because it's easier.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
If you need that label as quickly as possible,
what are you gonna do?
Stop thinking about this.
What are you gonna do, solve it?
I don't know. You can't. Yeah, I don't know. If you need that label as quickly as possible, what are you gonna do stop thinking about this? What are you gonna do, solve it?
I don't know.
You can't.
Yeah, I don't know.
You can't.
Long as there's other groups,
who believe different things,
you're never gonna stop it.
Unfortunately.
I disagree with that too.
Why?
I think that we're doing this to people
by tolerating
an institutionalizing craziness,
more and more craziness and stopping guys
from being able to see what is right in front of them.
Every time a kid gets suspended,
every time a little, a child gets suspended
for sexual assault, you know how often that shit happens all this believe all women
Shit everything that sinks it like all the all the plot lines from married with children that are now that are now so
So far so far so that there are reality is making people insane such that when they fully, if they choose to act and embody the sickness of
our collective of people collective which it is. This is what it looks like. This is not
it. This is not alone sickness. What you're seeing, what you're seeing is somebody personifying
the sickness that we live every day. Well, like you said, think or say an act
are two different things,
and not everybody has the capacity to act on that,
not the same way.
Yeah.
But yeah, I don't think you will ever stop terrorism
or whatever label you don't have put on that.
Do not share the shooter's name.
Do not share, I saw.
No, no, put share's name.
What is the, what are you talking about?
Don't share, don't share as manifesto.
No, no, don't do that.
I think it's always good to have the information.
Like what are they, what's their,
what are they thinking like?
What are they writing like?
What's their history?
What's the deal, man?
Anybody else got one of these things?
Let's hear it before you do something like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For whatever reason.
Yeah.
Yeah, here was the article I read about.
I mean, if I read about it, it means something.
So I don't do, I don't do any follow up, but.
Oh, here's New Zealand cops.
You will get hit with 10 years in jail
if you have the shooting video.
Anybody found knowingly in possession of
Objectional material can receive a maximum of 10 years
imprisonment 14 years in jail if you're the dealer of the video. Well, is that I mean that may be allowed under their
Constitution, right? I mean, how how sick is that? No, yeah, we're gonna throw you in jail for having a video
Yeah, no, that's I We're gonna throw you in jail for having a video? Yeah, no, that's, I mean, that's a, you know,
slightly, slight overkill.
The sickness is not in the sky.
It's in everybody.
And it's weird to see.
When things really scare us,
we just wanna chop it and then go away
and not think about it anymore.
Yeah, here it was.
This guy turned Muslim.
Harvard told his parents it was it.
Harvard moved to this is another guy buoyed by his new faith.
Harvard moved to Christchurch in New Zealand where he joined the local mosque.
Harvard told his parents it was it was at this time that the Christchurch mosque that he
first encountered radical Islam.
When he moved into the mosque, he realized what they were trying to convert people to.
That's why he left and went to Dunedin.
He didn't agree with, and this is,
so this is an interview with a guy
who got killed in Afghanistan or something.
I don't know the whole, I don't know all the details.
When was the story run?
A 2014, I think.
2014, I think.
So he encountered some white people,
radicalized, went to commit some, whatever
they were doing and got killed and there's, and people thought, why the hell are these guys
here?
I don't know.
I wouldn't doubt that there's radical, that there's in every country there are, there are
Muslims.
You can probably find some radicalized Muslims there.
Oh yeah, sure.
Why wouldn't you? Yeah. Everybody's pretty, pretty radicalized Muslims there. Oh, yeah, sure. Why wouldn't you?
Yeah.
Everybody's pretty radical.
Oh, no, exactly.
Probably way too much of gun ranges too.
Just as much of a...
I can't wait for the Civil War blah, blah, blah.
He's just as much of a zealot, you know, as anybody on the Islam side or whatever.
I don't see... Yeah, the Jews tend to what's that?
No, the Jews themselves don't tend to commit mass shootings, you know, they've as a country, you know, then there's they get in skirmishes, but do they I haven't seen
Yeah, I get a bit of mass shootings. I mean wouldn't Palestine disagree with that? Well, that's what I as a country. As a country.
As a country, there's always some skirmishes going on,
but I don't see too many, you know,
Andres, whatever the fuck, the Swedish guy is,
you know, you don't see too many,
Lahiam, you know, whatever.
Moskotov, yeah, waltzing into.
This seems to be a white people thing.
It seems, yeah.
Let's see here.
They like their manifestos.
They do.
People love manifestos.
They love a good manifesto.
Oh yeah.
All right.
Let me see here.
I gotta, let me play a song.
Well, he also was talking about the,
wasn't he also talking about the civil war
that would separate blacks and whites in the United States?
He wanted to inspire the United States.
That was Charles Manson that wanted that.
No, no, no, no.
The same thing.
It was like, oh, it's just like Manson.
Well, it's this, I think they call it accelerationism.
It's making, it reminded me of an article, Maddox wrote a long time ago when he said that
he hopes SOPA, that he hopes that internet censorship bill passes because then it would,
that would really make people wake up and go crazy
and run to stuff to take the reins back.
Nobody's doing anything.
Nobody's doing that.
That's the childish, it's childish and stupid.
It's childish and stupid to think that something
will get so bad that people are gonna act.
Never gonna act.
It has to get really bad
to where we almost can't even comprehend it.
It is that bad!
It is currently that bad!
I mean to the point of,
I mean to the point of your basic living necessities.
Like being able to talk.
Yeah.
No, I mean, you know, food, shelter,
like, yeah, where it's literally,
like being able to have an opinion on the mental health food, shelter, like, yeah, where it's literally,
being able to have an opinion on the mental health
of trans people, would that be something
that you think you'd need to have?
That's the scariest thing, aside from the lack
of the cracking down on free speech is the scariest thing,
aside from not being able to feed or clothe yourself.
I think it's, I think it's worse.
Okay.
Because it's like you the feed in the
clothing yourself, we're never not going to have that. Well, you hope not. I mean, yeah,
the chances are we won't. Yeah. So the other stuff we're going to lose. Yeah. Have lost
the lot. Well, it goes back to what Nick said and it's it's exactly it's exactly right.
I mean, there is a reason why the first Amendment is first. Because if you control speech, you control thought.
You can, everything else down the line just falls.
Yeah.
Like dominoes, no problem.
Okay.
I don't know if I had any.
Oh, no.
So you're in the last time, no, Zai.
No, Zai.
I said, yeah, you guys are basically the last defenders of three speech that we have.
L.E.O.
Apparently, he's the only resource for that video.
So law enforcement agencies across the U.S. are asking him for it.
So they can use it to train.
Like, that's an important document for them to have for obvious reasons.
Right. Meanwhile, the New Zealand police contacted Null,
asking for the emails, names, and IP addresses of anyone who's viewed it.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck you.
Fuck you indeed.
You're calling, yeah, get, get,
fuck, man, like, yeah, I don't have any fucking,
you don't have any authority.
What do you, you do shit like, you carry on like,
well, in this way, what do you expect?
Yeah.
What do you expect is going to happen?
It will be this.
As our culture gets more and more crazy,
more oppressive and insane, this is what will happen.
It's exactly what will happen.
I don't know about drawing the line from oppressive
and crazy to a guy who is Australian going to New Zealand who open fires on a
mosque.
I'm not following that.
I don't know if there is a way to follow it.
Maybe I just feel I understand that sickness very well.
Probably more than most, I think.
And I don't know how to put it in words, but I can feel that I can feel that crazy pressure.
Grinding you grinding you down until it feels like I mean look at how many people kill themselves what's the difference what's the difference doing something.
Suicidal and going on a mass like a devoidant mass murdering rampage I don don't know. Well, a bad day. Well, yeah, but you're
negating the, like the indoctrination or the moral system. What moral system? The moral system
that, like, I'm going to, I'm really unhappy. There's no point to life. I'm blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'll kill myself versus all these people. He said, I hope I survive.
Yeah.
So I can blah, blah, blah.
He had convinced himself so much that this needed to happen
and that these people needed to die.
That's a different thing than killing yourself.
It's a statement.
Yeah.
We call it war.
We call it war when we do it.
Yeah, but that's, no, that's not even the...
Why?
Why are you different? Because they didn't do anything to him. war when we do it. Yeah, but that's no, that's not even the why why are different because
we didn't do anything to him. I don't do shit in war. If you go to war, it's because if
the US goes, if you go to war period, it's because you're fighting over something that
the other side want. How is this different? He didn't, he doesn't want Muslims in his
country. Yeah, I think he didn't want a in his country. They're allowed to be.
I think he didn't want a lot of things.
I think you're way off the rails here.
No, I think he's, I think he's taken the lessons
that we, that we live by every day and acted on,
acted on them for what they are.
I think that's a big jump.
Well, I could be wrong.
I think that's a big jump, but I don't see it,
I don't see a person who's written off
as being mentally ill.
It seems like he's...
I agree with you on that.
I don't think that's mental illness.
Yeah.
It seems to me like he's living up
to everything we expect of people.
I think, well, in a horrifying way.
Yeah.
You know, horrifying is right.
All right.
How about something a little lighter?
Sure. Everybody's been complaining about the earworm that I know. Yeah, horrifying is right. All right. Uh, how about something a little lighter? Sure
Everybody's been complaining about the earworm that I I know I know I know I got a bunch of covers. There you go. There's great mooney. Oh
My god, dressed as a woman
I am the greatest, I am the greatest man in the world
I am better than all the stupid little boys and girls
And if you see me, you better get out of my way
Because my balls are so big, their momentum is impossible to change.
I am the greatest, I am the greatest man in the world.
I am better than all the stupid little boys and girls.
Yes, very good.
So...
Girls. Here's a barbershop quartet version.
Oh my god, do these fucking people.
I am the lady.
I am the lady man in the world.
What?
I'm ready.
What?
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
What?
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
What?
I'm ready. I'm ready. What? I don't think he'd be coming. There's no asses.
Oh yeah.
He got my ball trophy.
I don't think he slapped a D-S-er on the whole thing.
I don't think he just talks like that.
I don't think so.
No, I think he probably had a lot of
similar asses and he hammered them with a D S or
You think he did that on purpose?
No, I think he didn't know how to use a D S or
Oh, but he did something that made it do that.
That would be my guess.
Okay.
I can make it sound like that.
Yeah.
You do it, sometimes you do it as a joke.
Here we go.
So here's your file.
Here's your P P P. You do?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've done it.
Yeah, here's your, what the fuck?
Just kidding, here's a, yeah.
Well, you make them sound like this.
You leave a little bit of it,
but it's like kind of the best three.
Oh, piano cover.
I am the greatest.
I am the greatest man in the world.
Ashen moral.
I am better than all the stupid little boys and girls. I am worse than you. tomorrow. I am the greatest man in the world. Dang, that's a good cover.
Yeah, he's changed to the chords around a little bit.
Yeah.
Nobody gets that passing chord though.
Which one?
The A to the A minor to the...
What's that pattern?
The pass and that one.
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
There's a passing chord there before it goes to the B.
Oh, I see.
Um, I see.
I got some more, I'll play them a little later. Can't remember what it is, but.
This was a good, this was an interesting study that I have.
I'm still annoyed about that shooting, but I'm done talking.
I think I've been reading too much dread.
I've been just sitting in bed
what reading dread comics all day.
Yeah.
Are those, do they still make those?
I think so.
Like his dread.
So like I've never, I don't think there's ever been a comic book in my presence.
I mean, maybe I've seen, like I, no, like I've never, certainly never read comic books.
I just never, I never was really around anybody who like had them out and was like a huge
comics fan.
Yeah.
They usually kept it to themselves, like in their room under their bed.
Yeah.
Where it belongs, you know?
I guess part of it too is I've never read a serial murderer manifesto that was that
seems to be supposed to be taken ironically.
Well, because everything he said in it happened.
He is a big troll, right?
Like, I mean, I think a lot of people are saying that.
He has a history of it.
Yeah, so we finally hit a point
where this collective reaction is sicker than the sick person.
I got a big problem with that.
Blaming shit on Candace Owens and then people wig out.
Like, subscribe to PewDiePie.
And then people are now taking it,
then PewDiePie has to apologize for that sick.
Yeah, no it is.
That's sick.
Yep. Yep.
Anybody taking the opportunity?
Well, to criticize PewDiePie is like a,
you blame not see person, that is the same thing
that he's doing.
You blame everybody. Yeah, people want to blame thing that he's doing. You blame everybody.
Yeah, people want to blame everybody else.
It's like the first episode of Black Mirror.
Yeah, you committed it and it's where the guy does the pig fucking one as a giant stunt
that he killed himself before.
It's like, yeah, you did it.
They did exact, you called every single shot of this.
And you're divergent from reality clearly,
but that's what's frightening when the sick people
are the same ones.
It's frightening when the sick people are
are predicting what you'll do.
Then we're getting into like super villain territory,
Hannibal Lecter territory.
Here's the one I brought in there.
So there are six differences in the
trajectory of depression symptoms through adolescence. It's well known that
teenagers moods go through drastic changes. For the first time, researchers report
on the points during teen development, when depressive symptoms increase most rapidly.
For females, this occurred at 13.7 years old,
and for men, it was 14.6.
So if you're a, this graph should describe
why being a teenager is so miserable.
On the bottom swoop here,
are depressive symptoms for males.
And on the top,
our depressive symptoms for females.
You see this gap here?
This is called the pain in the ass gap
that we've all had to deal with
since we were 11 years old,
according to this survey.
Let me throw it up on the screens,
everybody can see it.
And then I got a guy called in.
And look at just how much, I guess,
I don't know, less depressed the women are.
Wait a minute, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
you're reading it, obviously, on the bottom.
Yeah.
Depression, that's men.
Yeah.
And on the top, the more depression is women.
Oh, shit.
Oh, it's higher depression.
So this gap here is called,
why are you feeling so miserable today for no reason?
Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, men have to deal with when talking to a lot more sense.
The pain in the ass gap.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
As soon as we turn 11, women just start being unhappy at a rate that's about twice what men
are.
And these poor fucks are trying to cope with that every day of their lives, just trying
to get a little at.
Look at how it keeps going into.
What is this?
What in the 20s?
20s, yeah.
In 22, look at the size of that gap.
Yeah, no.
At 22.
I wonder when they,
I mean, at some point they must come together.
What's wrong with you today?
Yeah.
Well, right here, mathematically, nothing.
Oh, what are you gonna say? No, I mean, I wonder when they come together or closer.
When you're dead.
That's when they swap again.
Oh, I don't know if they swap.
Yeah.
What I mean, I don't know.
I can't tell by this.
Yeah, I don't know.
You think there's a point when women are not as depressed as men are?
Well, I mean, I think there's probably similar rates.
Yeah.
I think I bet this graph ends right at the end of their lifespan.
So the men's one goes into the dirt at like 65 or whatever, 75 or whatever.
And the women's goes into the dirt at 72.
No, I probably never.
Assumptatically approaches the grotto.
I just thought it was funny.
There's poor boys.
Well, it's a big, yeah.
Poor boys.
It stuck with these nightmares for their teenage years.
Look at the size of it.
Really shoots up.
I think it looks like an inverted hockey stick.
You just sit them down.
Ayo-san, this graph is all you need to know about women in your teenage years.
Well, and then look at the reaction that the men have.
They're okay, and then the women keeps going up, and they're like,
oh, fuck.
Now I'm depressed.
Right?
Yeah, just later.
Almost the next start getting it, they're like, oh, shit,
their spike is like a couple years later.
Yeah, it doesn't start going the highest rate of increase.
It's 16 and a half, so that means they've been dealing with,
they've been dealing with,
they've been dealing with this skyrocketing depression
for junior high school.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That's that you ever feel like.
Have you ever actually getting,
they're actually getting a little lower
around puberty time.
And then they're just like, oh, fuck me, man.
Then puberty hits for men right here at 13,
or 11 to 13 probably.
Is that one of the hits?
Yeah, super good.
Sure. And then all of a sudden, their happiness,
their soul drive in life is tied to this skyrocketing
in the Strayonic cluster.
So they have to catch it.
We're pulled along.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
That is funny.
That is too bad for you guys.
All right, let's see.
I've got a speaking of fun topics.
Here we go, here we go.
This is my collar today.
You gotta unmute yourself, buddy.
Can you hear me right now?
Yes, I can hear you right now.
My collar today is responsible for the development
of a controversial game.
Oh, really?
Yes, it made all the news rounds last week
and your favorite outrage, periodical.
Could you tell us a little bit about your game, sir, starting with, first of all, what do
you want me to, what do you want to be called?
And make sure you, you've got me Jake.
It's a big game.
I want to fake names.
Okay.
Jake the snake.
Jake the snake.
Rob, oh, I get it.
Can you tell us the name of your game and the premise?
So maybe people could understand why it's been the subject of controversy.
Okay.
Okay, so I don't like actually saying the name, like, game out loud, but it's called
rape day.
Okay, so the premise is not a actual game.
That's the full name.
Yeah.
Yeah, it went through like 80 names when I started to pick my name.
So settle on.
Right.
Like, which one stands out the most?
No, that's.
Apparently, this one stood out a little bit too much, I think.
So you had your game on, well, what is it? For what is the nature of the game?
Is it a platformer?
So it's a visual novel.
It takes like 45 minutes, maybe an hour to complete.
And you just make choices.
Just pictures, still images, no, people
are expecting gameplay from the actual thing.
But it's a story.
And yeah, and you just go around and rape people.
Right, okay.
Would it make you more comfortable
if we called it tickle day?
Just your basic, your basic first person, you know,
rape person.
Yeah, first person rape person.
So you go around and you tickle people,
tickle women during a zombie apocalypse
and you can tickle them, you can kill them also.
Oh, you can kill them all, so can kill them also. Oh, you can kill
them all. Right. So I should, you know, true to life simulator for the zombie apocalypse,
I guess you could. Yeah, I feel like going down pretty pretty similar. I didn't, I didn't
know it was not, I didn't know it was still images. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, it was for sale
for a little while with PayPal. And I try to combo bundle as well that they banned it
in less than like eight hours or whatever.
Let me let me find one of the screenshots.
Because I saw, I mean, no offense.
I think you meant it to be like this.
But I saw one of the screenshots and it's like comically,
it's comical. Yeah, sure.
It's supposed to be a dark comedy.
Some people got that, not everybody.
Let's see.
So Seanic got obviously from Steam.
Yeah, I woke up and I didn't expect it to get any attention.
I was just like tweaking the description over and over and apparently it blew up.
And UK is considering changing their laws, just a ban, ban games like
this specifically for this game. Just causing you apparently this goes on my like 40 minute
visual novel. So this is one of the screenshots from the game, Sean, you've got this ball hit man
looking guy that looks like a Mont, looks like a wrestler, a WWF wrestler. Then this... It's definitely porn.
...chick with huge, well, this computer representation
of a chick with huge cans, and then this chick
it looks like a, a meth addict,
and then this other chick, I don't know, a little slimmer.
So what happened?
Like, tell me about the backstory of this game.
I love it.
I get what you're trying to do, like, I think.
I think it's hilarious.
Yeah.
So, okay, so I studied Steam's rules and I'm like, what type of game can I make within the rules
of Steam? Apparently, I can make this specific rule. But one thing I learned from all this
is it's not just about following the rules for whatever platform
you're on, it's also about not getting them negative press. So once you get enough negative
press, the, yeah, pretty much they all ban you, because they don't, it's, it's not a good
monetary decision for them, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. Chick-fil-A stuck to their
guns and nothing happened to them. Remember, they were anti Daymarry. How much do you how much do you like the game?
There's still anti game marriage, right?
Uh, yeah, definitely.
Yeah, until God changes his mind. I know I know tons of liberals who love Chick-fil-A
Yeah, I just like
Oh, it's sad, but I'd fuck I like the sandwiches. So you made this visual novel. What was that like?
What was that like?
What was that process?
So I, it's, I can, there's something,
there's a program called like,
Daz3D, you can like buy models,
pose them and modify certain things.
I kind of, have you guys heard of no, no fat?
No fat November.
They don't jack off in November.
Yeah, I've heard of that.
Yeah, you like, you like stuff.
It's a beauty off. Yeah. So like two years ago, I'm like, hey, let me do no
FAP or whatever and then I pretty much like blinked out for like two years and then
fucking like CNN and whatever is trying to send me interview questions trying to get
me on the air. Oh, wait, wait, I'm like, oh shit, like I'm never doing no
FAP again. I thought I didn't I thought he didn't jack off for two years.
Yeah, basically, yeah.
You didn't, you didn't, no, why do you made this game?
What the hell's real nice?
It's fucking dangerous, yeah, I'm saying like every day.
Yeah, for fuck's sake, what, you didn't jack off for two years?
Were you getting laid?
I mean, I was getting laid, but not like every day. So even if I'm
getting laid, I need to jack off. Oh my God, you're a fucking, you're a loaded weapon. You're an armed
nuclear weapon. Did you start? No, fat, but it just really appealed to you.
I started doing it to try to increase my confidence or whatever.
I don't know.
I read all the internet stuff.
I'm not a little bit focused.
I'm even superpowers or whatever.
It's like, yeah, maybe, but also, I don't know.
Okay, so you end up like the guy in the fucking Dr. Strangelove,
where they won't get my essence.
Yeah, yeah.
So you didn't you didn't go crazy.
You didn't jerk off for two years and then you decided to make tickle day.
Yeah, basically or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Got Simon on the brain.
I'm like, hey, well, I'm like, let me make a game and I'm like, what kind of game
I have to make?
I'm like, oh, let me make a porn.
I'm like, what kind of porn?
If that was part of it and then part of it was me trying to figure out what, like, what kind of game that I should make? I'm like, oh, let me make a porn. I'm like, what kind of porn? If that was part of it and then part of it
was me trying to figure out what would sell, right?
So I came to this conclusion that the two things
that the clickbait things for news are sex and violence, right?
So combine sex plus violence and rape.
So like, rape should be the ultimate game.
Like that would so.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
You wrote these stories.
It's like a choose your own adventure.
But the object is tickling women.
Yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, everyone can get this on the pirate bay.org.
I'm going to re-oppload.
I'm going to upload a newer version that's got like the baby killing scene that I removed.
Are you are you off the wagon now?
Are you back to masturbating?
I get off and on.
I try to, I guess, keep going.
I guess we're all popping on.
Yeah, like right now, Dick and I are off.
Yeah. After the show, things may change.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't want to get like, fucking ban, like, my little get banned from the fucking country.
Well, you're working on it.
Yeah, you're, I think you're well on your way there with Tickleday.
Probably UK or Australia.
on your way there with tickled day. Probably you care Australia.
What, how do you defend this awful, horrible game that you've made tickled day?
How can you possibly defend the crime of whatever, what do we call it, Sean?
Letting people participate in this heinous crime.
So, um, so I got this petition again, apparently there's, there's a bunch of petitions like eight of them against the scheme on a change.org.
And the comments, all right, this is disgusting.
This game is pure evil.
Pure pure evil.
Pure evil, Sean, did you see this creation? Yeah, yeah, pure evil. Pure evil. Pure evil. Pure evil, Sean. Did you see this screenshot? Yeah,
pure evil. Should not exist. But like the funniest one is that what, what has this, uh,
yeah, uh, system done, whatever, I don't know, remove violence towards women, right? So that's
kind of like the general gist of it. Um, but yeah, in like modern warfare, whatever you can kill, like infinite
guys.
So.
Yeah, you can do it in Pac-Man too.
You can kill infinite guys.
Yeah, like when people are like, oh, this is going to make people, you know, start raping
people.
Yeah, Pac-Man or Mario going to make people jump on people's faces.
You know, and if you read, I you never, I never bought that argument.
For Mario, the, the goombas are,
are polite citizens of the mushroom kingdom
that are just pissed off of people coming to their house
and leave messes.
I saw that, that's true.
Yeah, I remember reading that as a kid.
I'm a fucking terrorist.
How do you just, you just stomp on them?
Yeah, just squished them,
cause, cause they're upset that somebody's fucking
their place up. Yeah, somebody's leaving a big mess in their house
So Mario comes along and squish them
Yeah, so okay, so the argument the best I've read pretty much every forum or whatever on this kind of get night
I wanted this to be a learning experience for marketing and all that
They're gonna quote this in the USC marketing class?
Tickle day.
Here's a.
How to bait the media?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, you got to bait something.
So that the so there's a lot of people that think rape is a lot worse than murder.
That's why um.
Yeah, that's why you can have murder games, but not rape games, which for a little while I thought kind of made sense.
What's the argument they think which is better than which?
Rape is worse than murder.
Okay.
I recommend it.
It's like, okay, we can kill people in games.
You can have mass murder simulators, but we can't have mass, I don't know how many people
you can rape in a day, but we can't have mass rape simulators, but we can't have mass. I don't know how many people you can rape in a day.
But you can have mass rape simulators, because that's more offensive.
That's more offensive.
That's more offensive than killing people.
Because we're all trying to, we're all trying to, people are worried about traumatizing
a video game character.
Yeah, we're all trying to bang God's wife, basically.
So we just have to, we have to constantly virtue signal to God's wife
who's very timid women that we respect her.
And it's an ass of nine, isn't it?
We respect women so much that if there is a virtual collection,
if there's a virtual entity that identifies as a woman,
we respect her.
Also.
Yeah, it's, I think it's mostly, at least the ones who who wrote me there's some guys that will write like I hope fucking die or
It's my email sure, but a lot of the I think that's normal a lot of the
What of them were rape victims that like wrote me and they're like oh, this is terrible
We should you should get rid of it or whatever and then they kind of made me realize when I was looking through the
The change out or petition most of almost all of them were
pretty much all of them were women that signed that and not men. Well yeah. Yeah yeah. So I think it's
the reason that there's no movement and I assume they actually like were a lot of them
possibly war rape survivors. So I think the reason there's no movement to ban murdering games is because there are no murder survivors. There's not the
night's murder survivors. Yeah, there's not. I think they don't have a group, you know, I think
collectively we coddle women so much that. Yeah. But here's another thing. They have women
But here's another thing, they have women read, like their erotic novels. A lot of them are fantasy fantasies.
Yeah, that's so, yeah, a lot of women wrote me like saying that they're looking for
to play my game and like they're waiting for this sort of thing or whatever.
And yeah, a ton of women are into, yeah, I feel bad that a good man who ropes up from
the novels, right?
He always comes around again, right?
Turns out he's very rich.
That's what happens in most of those novels.
So you had women writing in, they can't wait to play because they got sick fantasies.
And yeah, it's all so it's, it's, uh, what it's something like 40% of women have
fantasized about right.
I'm obviously I'm not saying go on rape women because they're fantasies
that do it. So like, well, I mean, if someone got that from what you're saying, I don't
think saying, obviously, I'm not saying to rape women. I don't think that's going to
stop them. Like, if they're true, they'll take a little quote when they're like, right?
Don't flatter yourself, sir. I don't think you have the ability to stop sexual violence
with an offhand comment, offhand comment about your tickle me tickle the billboards and I was so stupid.
Jesus, I never thought of that.
You know what, I won't do that.
I won't do it.
How long did this, how long did making this game?
Is this, Sean, is this funny to you that this happened?
That's hilarious to me.
It's, yeah.
And you've got a list of your press
clipping. It's like a mile long. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I, yeah, I pretty much
removed all that because I'm like, all right, time to move on to my next thing. But what's
your next step? Right. I need, I need to take a little bit of, I'm probably going to
make a porn game or something, but I need to take a little bit of I'm probably gonna make a porn game or something, but I need to take a little
Probably to sort of figure out what can I do?
How can you top get me fan from the internet? How about not rape day?
Yeah, they're ever seen as somebody comes down goes don't do that
4chan recommend like a like a game ashing game now or something
How long do this take you to make this game?
So I have an actual job that I haven't been fired
from or anything.
That's shocking.
So this was a labor of love.
This was a part-time project for like maybe two years.
I don't know, like five, six days a week for like an hour
and a half or something a day, average maybe. So it was a, it's definitely a smaller scale project.
They could have done something bigger by figure start with something small
and learn marketing and like how to present it and all that.
Did you know what was going to get banned?
No, I actually thought it was. So the forums are like, oh, this is a troll.
This is whatever I actually thought it was not going to get banned and I mistakenly thought I could not get any immediate attention and
just kind of fly under the radar. Well I understood the rules and I studied like everyone who's ever
gotten banned from steam and what steam said about why they got banned. So I'm like, okay, well, they have good explanations.
Like the active shooter creator was,
he had uploaded a game that had copyright material
over Canmorety before this.
So there was like other things going on.
Yeah, but you know, that's not why they got banned.
That's like a technicality for banning them
for the real reason they got banned.
I mean, you know that now, obviously.
I apparently, I was pretty autistic
and I believed companies that they're word.
So I'm like, oh, well, this is the official explanation
then maybe that's, yeah.
No, I've kind of realized that if a company says something,
it's to protect the bottom line, whatever they're saying,
is just kind of like PR, BS or whatever.
Well, I might have had an inkling that something might happen
as far as media attention goes when I named it rape day.
That was just, you know, that's, why is it all that's wrong?
What were the alternative titles that you went through?
Like rape bananza?
Was there, I don't even remember it. Ra remember round up. Why is it day? Yeah. Oh, it's
fact that there's
this
There's this I forgot it is called there's certain types of words that
The idea is that they repeat in like your subconscious in the back of your mind. Okay, so if they maybe is trying to indoctrinate
It's a I don't know if it's like pseudoscience or something, but like,
the marketing all is trails off and then it's sort of repeats or whatever.
So it's something that almost rhymes or almost sounds like a jingled
whatever. So it's, it's, it's a little bit of a rational.
A lot. But that's, so that's why you settled on day.
Yeah, yeah. What there was no actual. This marketing. Yeah, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I because we're both trying to be successful in something.
So I admit this game.
You got to either go better, man.
I can't tell you because it forgot out.
You don't have to rape you.
I can tell you, but I have to rape you.
Tickle you.
Yeah, I'd have to tickle you. But yeah, I told him, I'm thinking about telling other people that maybe cool that, but I don't,
yeah, I don't know.
It seems like a pretty bad decision.
Yeah, I would take it to the grave.
You're telling a lot of people now, that's cool, but it sucks you can't put your name
by it, right?
Because it's really funny.
And it's really, you did a great job in sticking it in every, like sticking everybody's
face and exactly what they have a problem with when it comes to speech and art and expression.
It's like, no, you're, you're all just psychotic Puritans virtue signaling for women because
you get nothing that all this shit about like violence and gays, all bullshit,
it makes you uncomfortable, imaginary attacks on pixels, the concept, anybody else enjoying
the concept of what you're talking about, a concept is offensive to you such that it needs
to be rubbed out, which is an actual act of snuffing something out and much more offensive.
Because it affects another person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I think, yeah, I don't think people, so a lot of the forms, I think, I was trying to
figure out, like, is censorship good or bad, because I myself was kind of like, I'll
ensure of it for a while. So I was reading through figure out like, is censorship good or bad? Because I myself was kind of like, on show of it for a while,
so I was reading through all the arguments.
They're like, oh, if you read, you know, certain books
or whatever you might become a rapist or murder or whatever.
Yeah.
And I'm trying to figure out like,
what's the dangers or whatever way, everything?
The conclusion I eventually came to is that censorship
is actually the thing that causes a lot of violence because
it treats these echo chambers.
Yeah.
No, don't say that.
Yeah, censorship is not a good thing.
Well, that's why I was trying to get at it at the beginning of the show, too.
What?
That guy who lost his mind, like I think that the sense, the wide scale censorship that
goes on, not only on the internet, but in our daily lives is radicalizing.
I get grinding.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no.
I hear that point. And I actually, I know you were talking about how you feel that I get grinding. Yeah. No, no, I hear that point.
And I actually, I know you were talking about
how you feel that I get it.
Like at a, there's a tipping point where if a certain
amount of your thoughts are evil,
then you are, then you just consider yourself,
then you're opening the floodgates
for all actual evil things.
You can't tell the difference anymore.
I don't think.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, when you force people to suppress, like,
suppress their thoughts and become like these drone robots rather than engaging in society
and civil conversation for the, yeah, so many off-limit points. Yeah. Yeah. They feel
like they're not even them. I guess this isn't me, but I'm sure some people that feel
like they're not even themselves kind of like they're they got to fake them. Yeah, they can just be all actors.
Yeah.
And then so when you do get the chance to be honestly you, it comes across as wild and
I'm like a mania like your thoughts.
It'll come close and tickle me day.
Tickle me day.
So I have this game been reviewed?
Oh, okay.
I mean, I want to know who's played this thing.
Yeah.
I mean, some people have, have, have emailed me kind of and like there's some curators on
steam that has ever in curations.
I don't know if they can publish them since they got banned though on steam
But yes some people have played it and the
The general feedback I get is like people that read the news and thought it was like a full
You know like simulation like grant that auto type game and they're like oh shit
Which if you're expecting that it's definitely shit
And and the people that were expecting They, it's definitely shit. And the people that we're expecting,
it would be more immersive.
They thought that tickling,
they're Costco-bondling lotion ready to go.
And that's what I mean.
Fucking picture of that, damn it.
Yeah.
Oh, I got full VR simulation or something.
It's funny you bring up Grand Theft Auto
because you can actually tickle women there.
Like you can get people to grab a prostitute, you can get down to business, and then you can go mug her
and take your money back afterwards.
Yeah.
Right.
Essentially, in a roundabout way, you have just raped her.
Yeah.
Yeah, because you agree to your group for the money.
The counter argument that I've read online is that in Grand Theft Auto,
in Grand Theft Auto, the...
It's video game court. Here's the... Your Honor, here's my counterargument to why that's...
There's like a Supreme Court for retarded fantasies that we have.
There's a lot of debate around. What was the counterargument that you heard?
The counterargument is that in Grand Theft Auto, the objective is not to help you to kill people or whatever. The objective
is you're only causing bad guys. And if you kill civilians along the way, you're a bad guy,
right? Grant Thaft Auto. That's what I thought. You're a bad guy in every game. Yeah. You
never compromise. Whether you're just murder the murder everything to get what you want
I'm a good guy. Goombas or whether you're
It's the bottom your video game where you're not a bad guy
But yeah, that's what the angry YouTube comments and videos and stuff says like oh well murder is justifiable
And we're not a god
Yeah, we're like games. You Not to God. We're justifiable. Yeah.
We're like, games, you're like, oh, you're the good guy.
Which I feel like that makes it worse
that you think you're the good guy.
And you're going around killing people and whatever.
And then yeah, and if that Grantev Thado argument held up,
then I could have just made a game
where you can optionally rate people.
Yes, tickle.
But it's not the point of the game.
All right. Well,. But it's not the point of the game. All right.
Well, I think it's hilarious.
I can't wait to see what you have planned next.
Does anything,
will you got anything that makes you a rage?
I ask everybody that when they get computers and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, I don't have, not good at the rants,
but I hate like flies, like bugs in general,
like crickets in share annoying.
Crickets? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they are pretty in
But thanks thanks thanks for having me on the show. Yeah, have a good one. Thanks for staying up there
There he goes. There he goes. They broke the mold on that one. They sure did a wild creature
Yeah, lose loose amongst us
A wild creature. Yeah.
Lose amongst us.
All right, I'm going to play this song.
Long as he learned how to mark it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That guy, Jake. Jake the snake, clearly not. Clearly as his wits about him.
This song is, oh, it's unfortunately named,
unfortunately timed.
The hard men working hard put out a new song
a couple of, like two days ago,
before all the nonsense happened.
They called it, it's called hate crime.
Okay.
So here you go, we're gonna set up the studio a little bit.
What a nice boy.
So American is apple pie.
You want to talk about hate crime?
Yeah.
I wish I could talk to a trade hate crime.
I love hate.
I think we need more hate.
So you want to hoax a hate crime.
Sub number one.
All right.
So we're looking for a dude who was out of this subway.
Who snatched his girls head job and ran away
Hey cry, hey cry, he crimes on the right
Hey cry, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry
Love, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry
We're looking for a black, black, white, he's on the right
He got sex, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry
Mine, cry, he crimes on the right
I'm in that, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry
Hey cry, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry, hey cry Three, four, five, hey cry, hey cry, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, hate crime Sip, hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Just say you're sick
Hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Julio's the mole is hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Block it with my hate crimes
My hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Sip, hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Hate crimes are on the right, hate crime
Hate your huge black penises I'm from the right, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate black people, but where the worst?
They're just the worst.
I hate your huge black penises, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.
That's what he said.
Yes.
I hate that you don't get Sundays.
You don't get Sundays.
You don't get Sundays.
There should be more.
I hate that you don't get college college holidays easily.
First of all, there should be more.
I hate that you don't get Sundays.
You don't get Sundays. There should be more. I hate that you don't get on this You don't get on there should be more and I hate that you don't get on this
You know what I'm talking about right? You're gonna strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum, strum Hahahaha
What the hell?
A big party, party, party, party A big party, party, party, party I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I'm on the right, I wish I could perpetrate a hate crime.
No, I didn't say that.
There's more to that sentence.
Jesus, does there need to be?
Get a little bit closer.
Scoot your chair up just a little bit.
A little closer.
Whoa, a very beautiful voice.
Yes.
The opposite.
You didn't believe me. I told you I had a good voice.
Oh my God.
I would close my eyes and listen,
but I want to look as well.
As you match the voice,
Erica has come in to read us some news.
Thank you very much.
Finally, somebody who follows through.
Yeah, we have this here in the city of failure.
We're not all flinchin' LA guys, come on.
We have this horrible monster that hangs out down the hill
that's been gobbling the women up who've come over
to read the news for us and this is the vanish.
She probably just gobbles the ugly one so.
Yes.
So he's doing your favor.
We've been saying it's been well worth the wait
to miss out on those women who are absolutely stunning
and gorgeous.
Thank you.
So much so that I think you can hear my throat closing up
with our nervous. Oh, you're getting nervous. Yes, I'm very nervous. Does this happen often, John?
It happens. I don't think it happens that often. All right, let's let's see what we've got in the news
this week. It's usually where I embarrass myself. It happens more around schools with him.
All right, you guys ready? Yes. Yeah, see what we get to say. All right, around schools with them.
All right, you guys ready? Yes. Yeah.
All right.
See what we get.
I say, all right.
In no particular order.
I wish I would now hear your voice.
I wish I would have picked different news segments.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
We're just going to go with it.
Okay.
Some anti-vaxxers aren't getting their pets vaccinated.
Dogs can't get autism.
And even if they could, vaccines couldn't cause it
period. But some anti-vaxxers are increasingly making some unfound claims about pets and
vaccines they've been repeating about children and vaccines for the past 20 years. That
vaccines are unnecessary, dangerous, and they can cause a form of autism, can I not
tell you what other diseases just as with kids,
that may be driving down pet vaccination rates.
At the moment, while niche,
shows no sign of stopping in some states in the US,
anti-vax activists have recently agitated
to make sure state laws about mandatory pet vaccinations.
Sean.
Orlax.
I'm literally not not vaccinated the dogs.
Cause they don't want the dogs to get autism.
Have you ever met an autistic dog?
I think so.
You think so?
They're all a little bit on the spectrum, right?
Yeah.
Right, we had a dog, I had a dog as a kid.
He had a live, we found his live journal account,
he just wrote nothing but sonic fan fiction.
We had to put him down.
Yeah.
Well, there's no fixin' that.
Yeah, there's no fixing that.
I mean, good for them.
This is, good for you.
This is exactly what I expect out of people nowadays.
At least they're, maybe we could make a deal, right?
They vaccinate their kids,
but then they cannot vaccinate
like their fish and their dog and their cars or whatever.
Whatever, whatever they got.
Their cars.
Sure.
Vaccinate your car.
Anti-autism oil changes only.
Mm-hmm.
And are you an anti-vaxxer?
Well, I do have a dog and he has all his shots.
He has all his shots.
I would never have heard of this. Never heard of that He has all his shots. I would never heard of this.
Never heard of that.
A dog getting autism, I've never heard of that.
Well, because it's never happened.
Yeah.
Dogs are like, in my autistic.
I didn't know that was a thing.
It's not a thing.
No.
They're probably endangering your dog, though,
to people without...
I think so.
I mean, they're for a reason, right?
I mean, I know when I did them to daycare,
they're like, he has to have all his shots before he did. So yeah, yeah, it's going to be a big legal brew. Ha ha with that. I bet. Well, bizarre. Yeah, that's okay. Okay, autistic dogs, autistic dogs.
Something every week. That's the next rip from the headline.
All right. Next we have police officer can't pull over driver for giving him the finger.
All right, next we have police officer, can't pull over driver for giving him the finger.
Quarrel.
I didn't know that.
You're gonna be very useful.
You're exercising that finger a lot more.
Well, because cops, okay, read it,
and I have something to say on this.
Okay, get the premise out.
Okay, stop all over.
Thank you for projecting, too.
This is a, people come in here and they get on the mic
and they're like, police, oh no.
You gotta read it like you mean it.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
All right, so if you've ever been tempted
to make a rude gesture at a police officer,
you can rest assured that the constitution
protects you to do so a federal PEO court says.
In the sequence of events described by the court,
a woman in Michigan, Deborah Cruz Goulias,
was pulled over in 2017
for speeding. The officer showed leniency, writing her up for a lesser violation known
as a non-moving violation. As she drove away, apparently, insufficiently appreciated
of the officer's gesture. She made a certain gesture of her own, her own little wave,
if you will, or as a court ported, but it she made an all-too-familiar
gesture at Officer Matthew Maynard with her hand and without four of her fingers showing,
so she just had one.
Why do they have to do it so clever?
I guess it's not clever.
I don't know.
Well, unnecessary words in that sentence construction.
That's a lot of words to be honest.
Well, they might install the other fingers, yeah, but well, she held the index finger down, folded the ring finger down, folded the pinky down, folded the thumb in. You
guys, if you know, if you can finish the story on your own, yeah, she flipped them off.
Yeah. Okay.
Long story short, needless to say, minor was not amused. He pulled her over again and
rewrote the ticket for speeding. She then sued, of course, argued she had a first-of-member
right to wiggle whatever finger she did. Well, please, at course, argued she had a first amendment right to wiggle whatever
finger she'd at will, please, at the police. In a ruling this week, the US court of appeals
for the sixth circuit agreed fits of Roonitz, Rootness or lack of gratitude may violate the
Golden Rule, wrote Judge Jeffrey Sutton for the three O panel.
Another few dassles. But he said that doesn't make it illegal for the matter to be punishable.
This is great.
That's great.
Because the cops have, when they give you a ticket, they know they're fucking you over.
And they say, have a nice, every time, every time they drive safe, go fucking.
Yeah, go fucking.
So apparently, it's totally legal just to go, just to flip them off, they have a nice
day.
Yeah, you have a nice day.
How about that officer? Yeah.
Walk walk it all the way back to your fucking car.
I could sit here all day and so come on.
Do you feel so really doing that to an officer?
Absolutely.
If it's nothing, you know, you can get it out.
I know it's a first amendment thing.
I'll get so far up my high horse.
Flip away kids.
Do it and then ride in.
Yeah. Have a nice day. and then ride in. Yeah.
Have a nice day.
Yeah.
You too.
And then hand them, make sure you have this on hand.
So I will say I did get out of a ticket one time
and I told the cops.
That's a promise.
I told them I had a nice day.
How did you get out of the ticket?
I pulled the period card.
It was a guy cop who was trying to give me a ticket
because I was wearing my seatbelt wrong.
Yeah.
I wore it underneath my arm. I hate when it crosses over. It's uncomfortable. So give me a ticket because I was wearing my seatbelt wrong. Yeah, I wore it underneath my arm
I hate when it crosses over it's uncomfortable
So I lied and I said I was on my period and my boobs are tender
I did that thing where I'd make the guy really uncomfortable and he was just like
Okay, here I don't know if uncomfortable is the word for it
He was uncomfortable. So you wear your seatbelt around I word. I wear it underneath my arm. Damn, that's such a good excuse.
Yeah.
I'm gonna try that.
I'm gonna try that.
I'm gonna try that.
Sir, excuse me, I'm on my period.
Yeah.
How do you know what I identify as?
I always drink on my period.
I mean, I'm just glad he and us are proof, but you know.
Oh Jesus.
That would have got awkward real quick.
Well, yeah.
Okay. Yeah, I. Okay. Okay.
Yeah.
I think that's all I got for that.
All right.
Next, Trump diehards create their own Yelp for Maga friendly restaurants.
Oh, yeah.
Seriously?
Yeah.
You got to have that.
You got to have Trump friendly, Trump friendly, everything.
It's a big hat that they walk in.
Oh, good.
All right. So everywhere they look, Donald Trump supporters feel like they're under attack white house press
Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders our favorite was asked to leave a restaurant homeland security secretary
Christian Nielsen was chased out of another
Right wing media outlets are filled with stories of liberals pulling off make America great again hats Trump supporters
Have even come up with a term for this phenomenon that has them feeling
under siege.
Magophobia.
That's not a good term.
That's clever.
Anyway, okay.
So now in a move.
No, that's not true.
It's called Trump derangement syndrome.
Some megophobia.
It's coined a lot earlier.
Yeah, Scott Adams came up with that.
They're trying to, they're trying to goof up his term because it's good.
All right.
So now in a reminiscent of the green book guide that listed safe establishment for African American
voters in the self hypervision supporters are trying to build
this is a sign down to mega friendly businesses.
Basically, if you're a Trump supporter,
you're basically like a Jim Crow era black person.
That's pretty much exact,
that's exactly the same as how much oppression and...
Yeah, yeah, exactly the same.
It's exactly the same.
Yeah, all right.
So, with these restaurants have like,
you know how like Yelp review,
like the restaurants have like Yelp stickers on it.
So, would this be like a red hat? Yes. Like, you could come in. review, like the restaurants have like, yelp stickers on it. So would this be like a red hat?
Yes.
Like, you could come in.
Yeah, and the ceilings, these restaurants are so low that no one can take your hat off.
And it's all about, it's all about hat-thieving.
Oh my God.
That's ridiculous.
That is funny.
That's funny.
What's the password?
It's an interesting time.
They give you like a cage that you can put on your head to protect your hat while you're in there
There should be there should be anti hat stealing
Measures because you're stealing your stealing property. Yeah, right? I mean if you don't give it back
Isn't that a yeah, that's that's theft. Yeah
The Yang gang has those pink hats. Have you seen those?
America.
Now I haven't.
It's gonna be War of Hats for 2020.
And 2024, probably from now on.
What's the new hat?
It's pink.
The guy who's gonna give everybody a thousand bucks.
Oh, Andrew Yang.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got like a pink 80s hat.
Looks cooler than Trump's.
Does it?
Yeah.
I'm not gonna lie.
It looks cool. It's gonna be like hat fights, hat wars on the street,
holding onto yours and trying to steal other people.
A hat off if you will.
Yeah, hat on, hat crimes.
Okay.
Hat crimes.
All right, you guys ready for the next one?
Yeah.
Oh my lord.
Okay, Houston woman gives birth to six
tablets in nine minutes. Ouch. Okay. Six tablets. Six kids in nine minutes.
Next, topics in nine minutes. Yep. Yep. That's a litter. Yeah. Yep. All right. So
Friday morning, two sets of twin boys and one set of twin girls were born to
the same mother in nine minutes. The delivery took place at 4.50 a.m. and the
women's hospital of Texas and Houston, hospital officials say, although the newborns are in stable condition weighing in at a range from
one pound, 12 ounces or two pounds, 14 ounces. The mother is also said to be in stable condition
and has already named the twin girls Zina and Zuriel. Interesting. According to the Guinness book
World Records, the greatest number of children born to one mother is 69 and it belongs to a Russian woman. Yeah.
I doubt she did it in like nine minutes though.
I probably took a while.
69 kids in nine minutes.
Yeah, that's...
Do you think those Russians are industrious?
Do you think they'll ever figure out a way to make it so men could experience what it's
like to give birth to a baby?
Do you have any kids?
I do not.
I do not.
I just have a dog.
Is that count as a kid?
Only if you're insane.
He's, I call him my son to be fair,
but yeah, I don't have any kids.
I'm not yet.
It seems very, it's like really the longer I think about it,
the more it grosses me out.
You wanna get that?
Kids?
Yeah, the actual birth, like, what if you had to do that?
Well, I'd prefer not to. For sure. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I could ever be talked into that. Yeah, I
Doesn't look like an easy job that looks painful. Yeah, I don't you guys definitely want to be a better
I need a lot more than a ring to be talked into
That kind of a undergoing that kind of a gross
transformation. Yeah Six of a gross transformation. Yeah.
Six of them shooting out.
Wow.
Ooh.
One's bad enough, but six.
Yeah.
All right.
It's usually when, that's usually when they get put on all kinds of like fertility pills
and all that kind of stuff or they, you know, it's usually people who have trouble getting
pregnant and they, they get outside help.
Yeah. That's usually when those litters happen.
All right.
Oh wow.
Gross.
All right, next one we got,
comment AI founder George Hawts wants
to free humanity from the owl simulation.
AI, oh.
AI, sorry, comment AI, my bad.
It was a sans-sare a font or something.
Yeah, I hate those,
I got those simulation guys so much.
Do you know what he's talking about?
What is it?
Like there's a lot of,
we're in the matrix.
Yeah, there's a lot of people in Silicon Valley
or like techno gurus want to be,
everybody in the tech industry thinks they're Yoda
and want to say something deep.
And they have this meme,
they have this like fun thought experiment
that we're all living in an artificial
simulation because they're so, because people who believe in God are beneath them in their
minds. So they invented their own way to have a God that they can talk about and pretend
to be smart with one another without having to admit that they're exactly the same as religious people.
So they think because you can't disprove,
we're not in a giant computer simulation
that it necessarily must be so,
and we have to act like it.
Yeah, they're absolutely.
We're in like in a little matrix program right now.
Yeah, we're in a video game.
Huh.
I'm not in a video game, Sean.
I'm a real flesh and blood man.
Okay. Real thoughts, real feelings,
real everything. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. What did this Jackass say about the
simulation? Let's see. Okay. What keeps George Hots the a nomadic hacker and founder of self-driving
startup comma AI up at, is not whether his autonomous
car company will be successful or what other entrepreneurial venture he might embark on
next. No, instead, hot says he's tortured by the possibility that all of us are in an
advanced simulation observer by either an omnipotent extraterrestrial or supernatural being.
You can't just say, yeah, they already have that.
It's called the Bible.
Just pick up the Bible.
Or an artificial intelligence far beyond the realm
of human conception and understanding.
That's God.
You don't get it.
Yeah.
It's not computery enough to just have a Bible.
They had to make their own stew.
I don't know why the simulation guys drive me fucking insane
every time they talk about it.
It's like, you guys are just talking about God.
Everything that you say, it's all advanced, super advanced,
blah, blah, look at how smart we are thinking
that we're living in a virtual world.
It's like, yeah, we've been doing this
for thousands of years.
It's very, very, god.
He quotes, there is no evidence.
This is not true.
An animated hots told a crowd at his South by Southwest talk on Friday.
Apply titled Joe breaking the simulation and build on the festival's website as an exploration
of whether breaking out of a simulation universe means we can meet God and kill him.
It's easy to imagine things.
That's the first thing we want to do.
And the first thing we want to do is kill him.
Hey, look at that. We found him. We kill him. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, look at that.
We found him.
We kill him.
How God.
Kill him.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what they would do with the
met.
God, that's insane.
Stupid.
And they say it like it's the smartest
thing ever.
They'll talk about it all day.
I can't.
All right.
Is that I think that's enough?
Is that enough news?
Do we have more?
The next one's kind of funny.
What's the next one?
We have one more.
I'll get the title and you let me know.
Okay, it's Manacuse of Dipping Testicles
in customer salsa.
Okay, that's funny.
Customers what?
Salsa.
It's salsa.
Yes, exactly, just salsa.
Are you, are you Latina?
I am Mexican salsa.
So you have to see salsa. Okay, salsa Mexican. So, yeah, the sea salsa.
Okay, you do have to, I've heard that you do have shaking shoulders like that,
when you say it.
So when you go to a restaurant next time, you guys say chips and salsa.
Yeah, I'll just show them that.
Just show them your Mexican.
You might get them for free, who knows?
If you shake it right.
I'll try it.
I'll get into the story now.
All right, Tennessee man was jailed.
I'm felony charges after appearing to dip his testicles until a container of salsa that
a customer had ordered online.
Tell me postmates.
Okay, the delivery driver allegedly recorded it and posted the video online saying, this
is what you get when you give an $0.89 tip for an almost 30 minute drive.
News outlets report that the passenger 31-year year old Howard Matthew Webb was arrested last week
and charged with adulteration of food.
Ouch, okay.
This is what the simulation is doing.
That guy's dipping your balls
in the other end of the spectrum.
So he ordered like,
grub hub or something and like,
cause you can add the tip on there.
Yeah.
So he must have done it.
It's like, oh, a 39 cent tip.
That's death.
If somebody fucks with your food. Yeah
I don't do that. That should be the fucking death penalty. Yeah. Yeah, that's bullshit death by
Salsa, make him choke on his own
Salsa
Oh my god, that's so disturbing. I don't know if I'm ever gonna order in again
Well, that's why I'm always nice to people in the drive-through. I don't care if they mess up my order,
if they'll repeat myself over and over, I'm nice to them.
Like, I'll have a friend in the car and they'll be like,
oh my God, I said a number two and I'm like,
you be nice.
Spit in that one, don't be nice to mine, I'm good.
I'll be nice.
No, you gotta be nice to people handling your food.
Especially people that are,
this is what I don't get when people are mean
to waiters and waitresses.
Like, they're handling your food.
They're definitely going to spit in it.
I dated a bartender who had...
All those stories are true.
Yeah.
She had a cup of spit behind the bar because she didn't want to get caught spitting into
a drink.
So she had a fucking spit.
She had a mixer.
She had a mixer.
Yeah.
She would dump in. Like Like that is so fucked up.
Yeah.
She had a real rage problem though.
Planning for it.
Great together.
Okay.
But that one reads, Erica, you want to stick around?
I read some comments.
Sure.
A lot of these guys have advice questions that you could probably.
Oh, well that.
As a beautiful woman, you could probably help them more than I.
I get pretty good advice.
A more than I can.
Hey, Deck, been watching. All the guys say I give the best advice.
And then some.
Oh, hey, Deck, been watching serial killer documentaries because it's fascinating to see
how completely warped these people can be.
You know, mixed with a sickening awe and disgust and how broken a mind can be when we've come
to find out Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy, had groupies
and were both married in prison.
Oh, yeah.
After their convictions, somehow I found this behavior
to be as disgusting as the actual murders,
albeit less fascinating.
How dumb can you beat a fawn over the kind of person
who would brutally tickle, I'm gonna say,
and murder you
if they weren't in handcuffs.
What are your thoughts on this?
It's been driving me bonkers all day.
I think it's pretty simple, they can't get away.
That's like the perfect, that would be the perfect marriage for a lot of women.
The guy can't get away.
You only have to deal with them.
Yeah, you only have to deal with them and you want to, you don't have to clean up any
of his shit.
I think that's a whole other documentary right there.
It's not gonna pay your bills, though.
I mean, what's he gonna do?
Yeah.
I don't think that.
I think that the problem is that guys just absolutely despise
women who do that because it makes them feel like they,
because they think they deserve it.
It's a little psycho in my opinion.
Like I would watch, like, you know, like making a murder
that you're the Ted Bundy documentary on Netflix. And I would look at the woman and I'm like, dude, like,
wait, you wrote them a letter and now you guys are getting married. And I was like, where
does your brain go to be like, oh, that's the one. Yeah. Like, you know, I usually severe
things happen to them in their past too. Yeah, I could see that. Like a lot of like a lot
of serial killers. I think I do. A lot of childhood abuse and stuff at a past too. Yeah, I can see that. Like a lot of serial killers.
I think guys do a lot of childhood abuse and stuff at a, yeah.
Yeah, I think that's a similar type of stuff.
I think guys do it too, but the women who are sick, the serial killers are not in prison.
They're just walking around among us, acting like insane assholes all the time.
The guys tolerate in a similar capacity.
You know what I mean?
Like women who are like that chick
that chopped off Johnny Depp's finger
or whatever it was, Amber heard, just came out.
Did she chop off his finger?
Yeah, she, it's gruesome.
Really?
Yeah.
The winters of, this was win years ago.
You're not what I was gonna say,
because there are no shit.
He finally, he's,
Oh, this is when they had that fire rain,
she like recorded him.
Yeah.
Okay.
He got that shit kick that of him.
Yeah.
And he, during his lawsuit, he just soon,
he posted all the pictures of her.
No, I know, all the pictures of the shit she did.
And it's, so it seems, it seems to me like we both do it,
but the women who are sick like this
are just not in prison.
Women get pretty crazy though,
like the psycho ones are like.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they are.
Hey, dick, slow bro.
Uh-oh.
So you just wanted to let you know you're more right than you know
about women using rescues as emotional crutches.
I work with animal control and I have to deal with these women
all the time.
They're bored housewives with nothing else to do.
So they think volunteering is a good way to look good. They'll show up and take nice friendly dogs out and spend most
of their time in a yard ignoring the dog and playing with their phone posting on social
media about how good a person they are. We had one loser shit because she took a quarantine
dog out of the shelter without telling anyone and then live streamed herself on Facebook,
walking this dog through a Walmart,
letting kids pet it.
The dog was quarantined because it had molded a child.
Oh, Jesus.
That's how I got it.
Then the idiot Sakramam gets pissed at us
because we tell her that she can't do it.
I could write a damn book.
Yeah, there you go about it.
Yeah, that seems about right.
They should swap them with special needs kids if they're gonna take a go about it. Yeah, yeah, that seems about right. They should swap them with like special needs kids
if they're gonna take tons of them.
Right.
You know, what do you know?
They're all in quarantine.
I can't take them.
Yeah.
Right?
Because that doesn't look cute.
Right, on Snapchat or whatever.
No, like a kid having some kind of a mental fit
in an aisle number three at Walmart.
Now there's spaghetti sauce and piss all over the floor.
That's why they love you guys love your foster dogs.
We do though.
Plenty of goofy, plenty of goofy bastards with helmets on that need to go for walk too.
I mean, I mean, to add to that, I never understood a girl.
A lot of girls do this too on social media.
The whole like, you know, if you didn't post it, did it happen?
Like, it's just like, you could go do some charity work without telling people you're
a good person or posting.
If you're doing it to make someone aware, case, not a quick picture and be like, Hey,
here's where you could go to help if you want to get involved.
Okay, cool.
But it's just like, you're taking a selfie and just like, Oh my God, like a me, I'm a good
person.
Oh, man, that must be hard to. How do you even live like?
Luckily, I don't have a woman don't want anything
to do with me, so I don't have to deal with any
of that shit on social media, right?
Imagine if you lived in this world.
Imagine all your friends are doing this all day.
They're all dead.
This is just an old, this is just academic to me.
Like, oh, how about that?
I don't have to deal with it.
That must be rough.
Dick, your ass pacemaker idea is not insane.
This is Luke.
I work as a sleep technician.
As insane as that sounds.
Okay.
There's an experimental procedure
where people with sleep apnea get a pacemaker
like pacemaker like implant.
When sleep apnea occurs,
the smooth muscle tissue of their throats tense up,
opening the airway.
I feel like it's pretty much the same idea
just in the opposite hole loop.
It's pretty good.
Edgy came me a little bit.
What exactly?
Well, you know how you drink too much,
your bowels are become problematic
and start going on the fritz.
You get those flutters.
All right, this is, I had the idea of having
an ass pacemaker
that would keep everything from structural failure.
So you don't have any accidents anymore.
So anyone who has this problem doesn't have accidents anymore.
This guy's just saying that they do have something like that
in sleep-app in the cases.
I think it would be, nobody's-
It does sound like a good idea.
Thank you.
It does sound like a good idea. Thank you.
It does sound like a good idea.
Plenty of salsa then.
Yeah, so you know exactly.
That's the-
All the salsa you want.
Yeah, she's a-
Okay, let's do some advice and then I'll play some songs
and get the hell out of here.
Go have fun, St. Patrick's Day.
You had to leave it.
I think you told me you had to leave it.
You know, hard out one.
Or you said something.
I wanted to figure it a little over.
It's all good.
I'm having a good time so we can- All right, go. Oh boy. This is kind of a hard one. I don't want to go to something. One, I'll figure a little over. It's all good. I'm having a good time so we can get it.
You're all right, good.
Oh boy, this is kind of a big one.
Ah.
Because the size of this advice.
Oh my God.
That's what he needs advice on.
Yeah, that's too much, man.
It's like eight point type. Is that all one question? It is all one question
Well, it's probably a it's probably a story from a girl started in preschool
Think right? I'll tell you don't get you don't get an email his size from a guy unless he really wants you to tell him the wrong answer
Guys expect the more excellent validated
They want you to tell what they already think what validated, they want you to tell what they
already think.
Yeah, they want you to tell them what they're not supposed to do. So you get lots of information.
Otherwise, it's very, otherwise, it's very simple. Most problems are, hey, Dick, I'm
writing two out of desperation. I'm 22. And really recently started dating my best friend
of eight years, after many years of being a sort of beta orbiter around her.
That's a big problem.
Do you got any orbiter?
How many?
Not really?
I mean, I have guy friends, but, you know, I do that thing where I'm like, hey, bud, or
I call them brother, so they know like you're not getting out of the friend zone.
I don't cry.
Well, that doesn't work on us.
We know.
Oh, that's my solid way of being like never going to happen.
This is where you live.
This is your deployment.
You're in that fast, you know, no.
That's what the guy's hearing.
Yeah.
You're still hearing, but that's what I'm saying.
She's still talking to me.
Brother.
This is why girls can't have guy friends.
No, you shouldn't.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Oh, no.
I don't think it's possible to have a friend that's a girl, a friend of the opposite sex and just know.
Like a friend that I hang out with?
Yeah, just people to hang out with.
In my life, I would say rare.
In my life, I've never thought after a rough day.
In a year actually.
I need to call up the girls and grab a couple drinks.
That's never happened.
Never have I thought, what a terrible day.
I need to go. Yeah, but what if you need to say something? need a girl? I can really go for an Apple teeny right about now.
Never.
We can swing by the dog shelter on the way to.
They're good for like, I just got, I just got a dance.
They make good wing men too though.
Oh, your guy friends do?
No, no, no, girls do guys.
Oh, yeah. Like I have single guy friends that are like, dude, how do? No, no girls do. Girls do guys. Oh yeah.
Like I have single guy friends that are like dude, how do I get a check and all like dude
either carry a puppy to them all or if you go to a bar bring a like bring a girlfriend
with you.
What's a good pick up line?
I got a virgin contest.
I don't really fall for pick up lines.
I'm just going to say like you just got to make the girl laugh.
How do we do that?
You know what somebody actually... I've been doing it.
I think if you just approached them in a non-creepy way,
just make them laugh.
Okay, out already.
Anything else?
Yeah, you're out, sorry.
What's a non-creepy way to you?
I like to hiss.
Like I like to approach women from behind
and make like a hiss sound.
Because like a cat, like they think about cats.
And then you're like, what the hell was that?
And you're like, I don't know.
How you doing?
Or Latino man do the ch ch ch.
Really?
Oh yeah.
That's what they're doing.
They did?
Yeah, I can't stand that sound.
I don't know what I shouldn't have told you that.
You're gonna be doing that now.
I didn't know they did that.
First of all, that's racist.
But I didn't know that they did that.
It's not racist, it's Mexican. I know my people. We do that. Yeah. What do
women say when they get a ch... I ignore it. That sound just irks me, but I mean, maybe
it sounds like nightmare. I'm curious. Like, ooh, attention. What is that movie that I'm
thinking? Jason is that Friday the 13th? That, that's a horror movie. Yeah, yeah.
It works though.
Must work.
That's what it sounds like.
That's a quick attention getter, right?
Yeah, that's the whole, okay.
I may all tell them to do that.
You remembered it, made an impact.
Yeah, but I'm complaining about it.
I remember it in a negative way, not.
What else do you think? What's another good wine? We had a guy who said to ask what your favorite about it. I remember me. I remember me. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything don't know, he said. I don't know, he said.
Did he say?
No, it's a mess.
Yeah, he said, he said,
assesora, and I'm spotting one.
I'm about to dig up a bone right now.
Calm down, yeah.
I'm not feeling this.
He and we talked like that for like 10 minutes.
This is really very effective.
What the hell was that reading?
You're saying he dated his friend of eight years,
after a year or a year.
We always had a lot of friends.
We had the same sense of humor and got along great.
Plus she's a solid seven.
Oh.
It's after a good time.
Does that sound like a compliment to you?
That's seven.
A solid seven.
I mean, that's all right.
You wanna hit on a soft seven. I mean, that's all right. You want to hit on a soft seven.
Remember the study, we showed what it was,
okay, keep it all the data,
like what how men rate women, how women rate men,
and like men rate women exactly like on the belly
of a belly of society, just like you would expect.
Like most people are in the like four to six range,
there's some, and women, it's like,
there is like three percent of dudes who are like nine's and tens. There's some and and women. It's like, there is like three
percent of dudes who are like nine's and tens and everyone else is like a three.
Three.
Women are like the women say slow women think we're all fucking hideous.
Yeah, and then we had another study that said to get out of that zone, you have to make
$150,000 and they'll rate you. It'll like offset your ugly, ugly factor.
Yeah, in order to make up for it.
Okay.
Exactly like what she's talking about though,
it's like seven.
No, like, you know.
I'm a 10.
Yeah.
I was a virgin prior to us dating and also fat.
So I'm saying I look like Shrek at my worst.
Well, that sucks.
Oh, it looks like no.
But over the last year, like Donkey.
Like Donkey. That sucks. Oh, it's a little like no. But over the last year, like donkey.
See, people on that, that kind of charm, that's on hand.
But that would work.
Yeah.
So you just have to get in.
So I can't turn it off.
Now is the problem.
You just have to get some guy who's just reading stories around with you all the time
that you can make fun of, like, like those guys in the Muppets.
Oh, those two. Those Muppets Oh those two
Yeah, but over the last what over the last two years I managed to lose a lot of weight and
Look less Shrek like now and thus my friends sparked a romantic romantic interest in me
She's also three years older than me for reference. Mm-hmm
See a lot of was she dating guys all through this time?
Oh yeah, she plowed so many guys.
Well, they were friends.
Oh man.
Run and trains all.
That would be rough.
So when she told me that she liked me,
I thought it was a no brainer to go out.
Like I said, we had great chemistry.
However, I was warned by my brother
not to get involved with her romantically
because he'd already fucked her.
Yeah, her and him had a thing five years ago
and it didn't work out.
Yeah.
Hey, how else would he know?
Could you fuck a chick that your brother fucked?
That seems really weird.
I couldn't fuck a chick that my sister fucked.
My sister played softball in college.
She's huge lesbian.
No, she is married with two kids, but it's just a,
it's just a phase.
I don't buy that.
I don't buy that.
I don't buy that relationship at all.
Could you fuck a chick that your brother,
when you'd be thinking about your brother
fucking with a whole time, it would be totally weird.
Have you ever had a weird pairing like that?
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Start there.
I have three brothers, yeah, but I've heard.
I've heard.
You're being a guy that one of your brothers.
Yes, I'm just kidding.
No, that would be weird.
I have heard stories.
I have a couple of friends that like a brother like had a girlfriend in high school, for example,
and then they, you know, they parted ways.
And then next thing, you know, the brother just, you know,
it was a hidden and quitted situation.
So, yeah.
I brother told me that she's psychotic and mean
when in relationship mode.
You had to be told this.
Yeah, because they all are funny thing is,
my brother ended up being gay,
but I digress.
Oh, so of course, I foolishly ignored my brother's warning.
Went for it anyway, thinking retarded,
cuck, bullshit, it'll be different for me,
and I can change her.
That one's my favorite.
I can change her.
I can change him.
I'll fix him.
Have you ever tried to change a guy?
Yeah, my freaking 20s. I'll fix him. Her. Have you ever tried to change a guy? Yeah, my freaking twenties.
I didn't know any better.
Did it work?
No, that shit.
Are you over 30?
I am.
No shit.
I would've guessed a lot younger.
Thank you.
The guy wouldn't change for you?
I would change absolutely.
Anything for you.
Would you cut your hair? No.
There you go.
Except that.
And also that.
That's out too.
Just about anything though.
Anything that I agreed with.
Which is nothing.
And of course, I would cut it after.
And of course, I was wrong.
And she did end up completely changing from the girl I
fell in love with. Oh my God, dude. She became controlling. And I realized just how generally unpleasant
negative she is to be around a lot of the time. She also has daddy issues too, which was also a huge
red flag that I ignored. She lives with her dad still. And despite him giving her a free ride,
she hardly talks to him and gives him the cold shoulder. Oh my, oh my, apparently, apparently he neglected her as a kid and was
always running around focused on his girlfriend, so he would cheat on also at one after the
other. But anyway, along with her constantly treating me like shit, being bitchy, I also
noticed that I'm not really attracted to her. This seems like a... How many red flags does he need?
Do you see what I mean about how long it is?
Yeah.
You're already knowing what he should do.
Yeah.
Not sure if seeing her true colors had anything to do with this.
I'm also a tit man, and she's maybe a bee cup on a good day.
That...
Those guys sounds lovely.
What do you mean?
I'm being sarcastic.
She's a bee cup on a good day.
What's wrong with the solids?
I want to see what Shrek looks like right now.
You know what Shrek looks like being all judgey over here,
because he lost a couple pounds.
Big ol' no antennas.
I know what Shrek looks like.
I'm talking about this guy.
What does he look like right now that he's being all judgey about, you know?
Yeah.
It's just for just call it quits.
After thinking for a while on why I'm not attracted to her, it all clicked
when I thought of my favorite porn stars.
All at least double d's are larger and milts.
Nadine Jansen, Hitomi Tanaka, smiley Emma, Malena Velba and numerous other
scoreland models.
We all know who the scoreland models are, dude.
You don't need to list them.
That's when I realized I'm always checking out
older women with huge cans in real life, too.
I'm totally into older women.
I like a lot older than her, and with big tits.
I just realized now, after I'd tried breaking up
with her four times, each time with a different excuse
as to not hurt her feelings,
about me not finding her attractive.
Oh my God, what are people doing?
But each time she says we can fix whatever issue
I claim I have and we can try again.
Like most recently I told her she was being too mean
and she said she'd try to go to change by going to therapy.
Hmm, does that work?
Keep being less mean, going to therapy. Does that work? Um, keep being less mean.
Depends on the person.
Uh, I feel so bad every time I try to break things off because she goes into a hysterical
crying fit and says how I've always been there for it and can't just imagine life without
me.
I even say, please can we just go back to being friends and she claims she couldn't because
we had sex.
Yeah.
Bullshit.
That's kind of a strange rule.
Matter of fact, there are some, there are some.
She's lying to you.
You idiot.
There are.
There are many cases where you can only really become friends after you've been in a relationship.
Yeah.
You know, after you've had sex, there was a famous writer who said that.
It was a, I can't remember where it's like the stangels of no, no, no.
You're saying that you can only be friends after you've had sex?
Or like a relationship like your acquaintances, if you end up dating the people that you've
dated, then you're you end up like better friends after you both.
Is there a way you're like, eh, it just didn't work out.
No amount of friendship is worth all this shit.
Sean, I wouldn't, no offense,
but I wouldn't write an email this side
if you and I stopped talking today.
No, we've been friends for 20 years.
Yeah.
And I would say, oh yeah, we're not friends anymore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But somehow, miraculously, when men and women
have to be friends, it turns into this nonsense.
We get verbose.
Friends.
Like what the fuck I know, she's a girl,
but come on, we've only been dating for seven months.
I know it didn't seem like a threat to me
to keep me in a relationship with me,
but sometimes I even fear that she might kill me
or herself if I do leave for real.
No.
So it's clear to me that I don't have any balls
to break up with her in person.
So I've devised a master plan to leave her once and for all.
Here we go.
I'm moving out of the country.
And you know, obviously, I feel horrible about this,
but we've been friends for so long and that's why this is hard.
I've never wanted a time machine more than I do in my life.
Anyone I've asked for advice so far have all basically said the same thing.
Yeah, that sucks. You're kind of fucked. So here's my plan.
Me and her have a trip to Vegas planned,
for this guy is planning a breakup like a bank heist.
Yeah.
Me and her have a trip to Vegas planned for this May.
When we get back from Vegas,
I plan on quitting my current job,
which I was going to quit anyways
because I'll be going back to school,
packing all my essentials in my car,
and living out of my car while touring the country all summer.
What the fuck is going on?
Wow.
Hopefully seeing cool sights and hooking up with as many girls as possible.
I have 11K in the bank to live off of.
Now the day I leave, I would call her and tell her I'm not happy and want to find myself and I'd be off. This way, I don't have to deal with her in person
and I'm literally removing myself from the situation. I know this sounds borderline retarded.
No, it sounds retarded. And a huge dick move, but I'm literally running away from my problems,
but I don't see any other way out. I do not want to marry this woman.
And if I stay with her, that's the path I'll be heading towards.
How many marriages do you think happened to guys like this?
Just because she said, we gotta get married.
You're like, okay.
Yeah, we're, we gotta break up.
We gotta go back to being friends.
I'll kill myself if you do that.
Well, fuck.
That's on you.
I guess we're getting married then.
How many, what percentage of marriages do you think are this guy more than there should
be? Probably 50. 50 percent. What do you think? Yeah. I mean, given the divorce rate, yeah.
A lot, right? Yeah. I don't think this is that crazy. You guys are hard to negotiate with.
How hard is it to say I'm not feeling it, I just, we're not for each other.
Just I'll go to therapy.
He tried.
No.
Oh, man.
I don't want this.
It's nobody could say no forever.
Our last caller, the inventor of tickle, tickle day.
Yeah.
Um, is that a real day?
No.
If I stay with her, that's the path I'll be heading towards.
Now, once I return home from my adventure, I'm hoping she'll have moved on by then and
found a new boyfriend.
No, she's in her basement, like making very detailed plans to murder you.
Yeah.
As soon as you show your face in town again.
Once I return home from my adventure, I'm hoping she'll have moved on by then
and found a new boyfriend.
I would think three months would be enough time,
not even close.
This is some serious fantasy going on.
But I plan on applying to a college and dorming there
so she shouldn't be an issue.
He's gonna call security, I wonder.
I really just hope she doesn't kill herself either
because she's told me beforehand
that she's depressed and has suicidal thoughts
from time to time.
Just wondering if you and Sean think
this is retarded or not?
It's retarded.
I've already ran it by my brother and my mom and my dad
and they're in the camp of it being retarded.
Yeah.
So he's gonna keep asking people
until he gets the answer he's hard.
Until he gets the answer he's hard.
But I don't know man, it just feels right.
Like my gut instinct wants me to do it so bad.
Oh my God.
Part of me does want to explore the world and have fun while I'm still young.
You know, I mean, that part, that's fine.
That's fine.
You're doing the, sometimes you can do the right thing for the wrong reasons.
Oh yeah.
I mean, maybe that's a huge learning experience for you or something, but you're only,
if you do it, then you're going to find out afterwards.
You know what's going to happen.
Something tells me that you're not going to be rid of her after taking your little, your little
Sean to round the US. She's going to make him marry her in Vegas. If you go, Vegas,
you are fucked. There's a 100% chance. Super drunk married. Get him drunk, girl. You will
not leave Vegas not being married. I fucking promise you that. I need a dick tip. Oh yeah, there's another one.
Oh shit, I should have just read this one.
It's much smaller.
I think the only sensible thing to do
is to make her an okay cupid account
with her picture and stuff and you run it
and you write it and just endlessly flirt with men
and try to trick her into dating them
to wean her off of you.
Yeah, that's less retarded than...
Yeah, like send them some pics, you know,
take her pics, send them out to these guys.
Jesus Christ.
Cyber sex with them a little bit.
Like how's your ding dong?
Let me slurp on that ding dong.
Jesus Christ.
Really entice them out.
Set up a date.
Set up a date with her.
Don't show up. See how she hits it off with the new bow,
right?
It can't be worse.
You got to do this before Vegas though.
Yeah, definitely wouldn't go to Vegas with her.
Or here's another thought.
Try to bang her mom.
Yeah, hit on her, buy her stuff, all of her friends. You got a cart blanch to do
whatever you want, man. You could be the biggest, you could be the biggest asshole in the
world, right? He's all really great. It's not going to set. It's better than this plan.
That yeah, the fact that he took the time to write that long ass email and like, yeah.
What do you think? Dude, no, I'm it's my plans are good
They're better than that they're better than this plan the mom one is golden
Tell your gay
Didn't he say his brother was gay? Yeah, yeah, he say he caught it from his brother. Yeah, you caught it
It's more believable. Yeah, it's all right. They said they were in the same spot together
believable. Yeah, all right. They were in the same spa together once. Yeah. And he caught any thought he took medication, thought he could shake it, but it just hung on.
I got rooted in there deep. And he's gay. Yeah. You got to stick to it though. Yeah.
You got to live it, right? Yeah. You got to start dating guys. Yeah. Bring him around.
You're going to do it. You're going to have to put your money where your mouth is. Yeah.
Accidentally text her stuff that you meant to send to a guy.
Right, right.
Like, I love blowing you last night.
Yeah.
Sweet, sweetens.
All right, everybody.
This is me, the Dixho.
Eric, thank you very much for coming in.
Thank you for having me.
We got tickets for Melbourne or Melbourne's almost sold out.
Sydney's sold out.
Wow.
Melbourne is.
Did you say Melbourne?
Yes.
Melbourne, Australia.
Yes.
Yeah, I believe in Melbourne.
No, it's Melbourne.
Melbourne.
That's it.
No, they're saying the city, right?
Melbourne, you're saying Melbourne.
Melbourne.
It's got to E at the end.
Okay.
We had an Aussie call up and they say Melbourne, right?
But he said it's Melbourne. Yeah, Melbourne. But if they say Melbourne, right? But he said, It's Melbourne.
Yeah, Melbourne.
But if we want to say it like Americans, it's Melbourne.
It's never Melbourne.
They say it's Melbourne.
Whenever it is.
I've got to show there.
Get tickets to the site.
And this one is, let's do some more of those covers.
Oh my God.
Those are pretty good.
Here we go.
This is by Hisoka.
Hisoka.
Oh, he took all of,
hisoka took every single cut.
Every vocal take.
Yeah, and layered it on top of each other.
It's gonna be a disaster.
Yeah, there's this guy that always tries messing with me.
And so I found some unreleased audio recordings he did singing a song or like for Vio work.
They all sound really, he's not a singer.
So they were never supposed to be seen in public.
So we spent last episode playing all 20 of the takes.
I don't know, we're just so embarrassing.
Here's all 20 of those takes layered on top of each other.
Sonic Bukaki. Ha ha. I'm gonna let you have my way.
You'll be the guy that's mine.
Oh, there's a big devil necklace.
I'm gonna play the game.
I am the greatest.
Put you laughing and there's a...
Oh, boy.
That's awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.�. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.�. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.�. Awesome.�. Awesome. Oh, what? It's awesome, awful.
All right, everybody.
See you next Tuesday.
Here's Facebook news.
Hi, this is Facebook news.
In the Dixiel Facebook group, Sasha announced
that she's been pressured by her boyfriend
that's leaving the group.
She claims he is uncomfortable with Dickhead's,
quote, addressing her in a sexual manner.
No.
Someone has to.
Derek asked Dickhead that there's a whiter
or more cringe holiday than St. Patrick's Day.
One Dickhead takes the bay like a retard
and is led in a 22 reply conversation
beginning and ending with him claiming to be above race baiting.
Rupert comments.
Oh, wow. You figure it out. Irish people are white.
Schmenn says that Cinco de Mayo is worse in all aspects.
Nick says there is indeed a wider holiday. It's called Father's Day.
Get it? Lastly, for our top story, Facebook,
group word Smith and longtime shit poster George has been arrested on counts
of trespassing domestic battery and false imprisonment early Friday morning. George broke into
his girlfriend's house in a drunken fit and savagely tacked her holding her against her
will before law enforcement arrived. Survivor is in good spirits despite her ordeal. And
we'll have more to say once she has a good distance and a good firearm between her and George
thank you this facebook news
which George was that i don't know which one
i don't know anything about that group oh my god
now
that's uh... that sucks
that's the simpleism else here
and that's a good idea that's one of the one that are calling about did you the the the
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the
the the
the the
the the
the
the the
the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the and he says you know
word for word
because parents
moved
from a nice
like
a city
to a shitty place
and he had to go to a shitty school
and the
parents
were
taught to have fucking retarded the parent asked him like you have a great day school have you know
of a book of work with hard
although it was worth a lot of calm and all that was that that was
sorry that was fucking did you bro okay
this is eager rapper who just didn't retain anything
and you just he just when you got this gd
and that that's it
that's because it was too busy and then
up to did you but you fucking pido but that that that that that that that that that that that That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's greatest. Then a stupid little boy sang girl.
And this just made me cry.
You better get out of my way.
Do you think he's doing an accent?
Is this Domit Pesos?
Yeah.
But my boys are so huge.
The moment only hard to change.
I'm the greatest. I don't think it's an accent.
I don't think it's an accent.
I don't think it's an accent.
I don't think it's an accent.
I hope so.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
What's up?
This is Rex Dexton and Aspen.
You know what makes me a fucking rage?
Yeah.
Is these people who every time there's some kind of tragedy, whether it's in another city,
or another country, or wherever, someplace that they've been before, they all have to
Oh, I was just very year ago, right?
Such a beautiful place. I'm so sad. I'm sorry for my friends who are there and just like co-opting all these fucking
I have their okay
Like yeah, I love it there so much. I I spent an Airbnb night there
Two years ago and it was such a beautiful
Like oh yeah, now we're so fucking feel sad for you
I said to these people who are getting fucking killed fuck off I'm like, I'm sorry everybody. Like, oh yeah, now we're supposed to fucking feel sad for you.
Instead of these people who are getting fucking killed, fuck off.
Oh my god.
So affected, Sean, they were in a house.
Oh, I've been in a house.
Oh.
A lot of people tend to do that though.
Yeah, it's definitely, there's a lot more pointing at me.
A car accident?
Oh, I was driving my car today thinking about it
Just couldn't believe it. Yeah. Oh
Dick what what fucking made me a rage today was I was home to God damn door up for summer
Do you know they're walking in like oh, hey, buddy? I haven't seen you while and they've handed me on the fucking stomach
You know, there's a quick roll
Yeah, look at look at all fat there bud before and they woke up and you fucking stomach you know the quick roll i'm a but that
look at what they're about before
and they walk off and you know i'm just fucking stand there and some
dough right on that
flexing like a god damn fucking brick wall for you
but he'll you can't be and now i know that you can't make a fucking god
you think i'm just some
flabby floppy piece of shit
you fucking think that i know what I mean?
But now that's not what I'm trying to think,
what the fuck am I doing?
I'm trying to...
No, so I'm insecure.
To another guy.
Yeah.
So I only want the fuck my clothes to do that.
I got damned, that fucking pant me on the goddamn stomach.
Fuck off and fuck yourself.
Uh, simple solution.
You just have to get a huge erection
and tuck it up through your waistband
and ride your pants low so that when they go in for the pat,
they just grab a big old dick.
And then you pop the shirt up and surprise.
Yeah, surprise.
Okay.
How do you like that?
Yeah.
How do you like them apples?
Teach you to pat my stomach.
Teach you to pat your, like the Pillsbury Doe Boy.
That sounds like a neat trick guys like grabbing anything you know some guys grab your shoulder
yeah then they start massaging in them all right get on you know you don't care for me
fucking touch me starts with a handshake.
Even that's a little gay.
You know?
I never thought about that.
Sensuously, start thinking about it.
Every time that you're shaking someone's hands,
tell yourself that it's much.
Yeah, yeah, sometimes you have different handshakes
with different people.
Yeah.
That's always funny.
Like, oh fuck, how do I say a lot of this guy? A lot of this guy, like a fuck how do i say i like to see it again again
calling a woman the wrong name during sex you going out of the idea he's one
of these guys
uh...
hey dick i'm a rage but i'm happy about it
can you be both happy and that about something
to get about that and and uh... i think so i'm like i'm one of the horrible people
i i think all myself an acceleration uh... i i i i i i i i i i a more key on the really on this lady i don't want
but that they think they want
that they're taking your problem
that it will be
thinking of coming from the wall of showing on me
uh...
and and hilarious
and it was new shooting now
that was complaining about it
and i'm happy and i'm happy with that
and i'm happy with that
and he's even
even like the worst people in the world
no i don't think the problem in love just to be killed i don't think it'm from a lot of the city bill and i don't think it was
to be killed all of the things that i think you'll get it uh... you know i
don't think they can't be killed
uh... look i think
i think i think i think i'm happy
and some way because it's like this is what you put people get i've been
i've been complaining for years and years near the bottom of the
you hear the madness that i'm talking about like you
here at the
uh... uh...
unworkable ideas
so many small space you're gonna create chaos and we'll just leave you
well about the
last week
so i'm one way i'm like happy about it and it's like it's really
you're gonna force me to live in this world
that's not a work that will
work at birth
but the same time i don't want to be like this
whatever it is
so that's what it is i'm upset that i don't i don't want to be like this but i don't like that so that's what i'm up to that
i don't i don't want this i don't want it to be mocked in new veil
but it's like yeah this way you fucking get it's a way you
fucking get what did you think it's gonna happen what did you think was gonna
happen
no it's just gonna happen
part parcel and that we're just going to fucking deal because you decided
that we have to deal with it for fucking blood
same thing yeah but gross not gonna pick a low.
Yeah, but it's going to be a very small amount who gets so radicalized for lack of a better
word.
I disagree.
I think there's a lot.
The average person walking around is not like that.
Yes, we are.
No, not average person.
Not like that.
Crazy.
Beyond crazy. Not crazy enough to do that. Yes, we are. No, not average person. Not like that. Crazy. Not beyond crazy. Not crazy enough
to do that. Not crazy enough to do that. Remember, you're living in a city of crazy people.
LA is specifically crazy in its own way, but the rest of the world is just as bad in different
ways. I think it is. Man, I mean, you get outside California and people worship America like it is a religion.
And there's a lot of good parts to it,
but it is.
That's what we've always been, you know,
America, American exceptionalism and all that kind
of stuff, and we do it with the best at everything.
And that's blah, blah, blah, blah.
So yeah, you grow up, you kind of grow up with that too,
but, you know, I think what he's saying is dead on.
There we are, we're, it's, we're getting to a point
where the, you know, when water, when water gets to that boiling point, it's the, the bubbles
are the randomly excited molecules that train, that physically transform into vapor, but
the entire pot is boiling. It's, it hits that, it hits that phase change point where it could happen to any of
them. I don't know. And the who exactly it happens to is random because it's been cooked
for so it's been cooked to such a degree for so long that everyone's a suspect. Yeah,
I don't. You can hear it. Yeah, you can hear. I know, but you're, but you're also using,
but you're hearing it in him, America is got
its own turmoil right now.
Yeah.
The rest of the world, the windshield wiper thing that I was talking about, isn't necessarily
in the same mindset, you know, like, are dude, it's worse in Australia?
Well, it, no, there's different countries, but I mean, the world's a big place.
I don't know that everybody is quite in that pressure cooker that we all feel right now
with all the, the vitriol going back and forth and people in the UK.
First of all, they need a license to beat off.
And that they're the porn license.
Yeah, they need a porn license to look at it.
The licensing company happens to be owned by the same companies that run the porn sites.
Yeah. This is, the police will arrest you for tweeting anti whatever, anti-Islamic shit, like
what, if you're critical of something the wrong way, the police will show up at your
house and say, explain this tweet.
Yeah.
I think we're the, we're the cooking the least in America and we're still cooking.
You know, think so.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'm fully formed, have a fully formed opinion on that.
There was a, there was somebody in the, whatever an MP, whatever they call the congressman in
the UK who wanted to put tracking devices in knives.
Yeah.
To cut down on all the, cut down on crime.
Yeah. I don down on all the cut down on crime. Yeah.
I don't know, man.
Well, tracking devices, I mean, it's kind of too late after, right?
I mean, there's just a number of problems.
But you track the knife after he's used it to, how easy is it to make a knife?
Oh, you know what?
I'm doing it in prison, right?
I mean, it's, yeah.
Yeah, I think you can do it with fucking paper
and toothpaste and water and shit.
You make like a paper mache fucking shift.
Which is next, which would be next.
They get that through.
All right, one more.
I do think I don't think that there's,
I don't want to draw a line to say
that that guy's different than people at large.
I think to act on it makes him different than people at large. I mean, they are talking about a probability game.
Well, yeah, and some of this gets into genetics too, which is very interesting.
There's a whole discussion on that.
Well, it's like about what makes people able to do those high risk, high risk, risk taking
ventures, extremely dangerous.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the army learns it to do it.
Like they, the army and like the CIA, whatever studies those people so that they can turn
more people into that. Oh, yeah. They know that., studies those people so that they can turn more people into that.
Like that's why they know that.
They want those people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They study the killers so they can make more of them.
And these are the same type of people.
Serial killers are the same type of people in regard
to that as our fighter pilots.
And CEOs.
Sometimes, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's see one more. try to find a funny one
uh...
hey dick what's up you know what makes me a rage
it's when people say well
you don't usually
do that
like i have to pick up an invoice
from a clinic the other day because i forgot it
the fucking handle pitch in front is like you know I go
okay well can you just email me the invoice instead of you know once it's one team voices
sign can you email it to me or fax it to me so I don't have to come back here again and she's
like well I'd have to ask the doctor, you know, we don't usually do
that. Usually people come pick it up. Am I, are you really, like, you think this fucking
doctor cares if, if like, you email it or fax it to me or, like, well, that might be against
hip-a-regulation. Sometimes, I'm not sure. Sometimes do it. But, like But what the fuck are you talking about? For confidentiality.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't, like, it's a little bit different than the usual
procedure.
So you're just throwing a fucking exception, like, you can't,
your brains can't handle it.
Like, just fucking email it to be bitch.
And she's like, well, OK, I'll call you back.
Stop the language.
So I go, you know, I figure out how to hack her MPC braid. I'm like, well, okay, I'll call you back. Stop the language. So I go, you know, I figured out how to hack her.
And PC braid.
I'm like, okay, okay.
Can you send it to me by regular mail?
She's like, oh, yeah, no problem.
It's like the fuck.
Yeah.
Anyway, very frustrating.
It's what makes me a rage.
Okay.
Well, I hope you survived the week.
Don't shoot up any place.
It's like falling down. Remember that movie? Yeah, it's you survived the week. Don't shoot up any plays. It's like falling down.
Remember that movie?
Yeah, it's things are way worse.
You can push people to their breaking point.
Oh, yeah.
We're way past that.
All right, everybody.
See you next Tuesday.
See, Erica, thank you.
Do you have an Instagram or something?
You want to tell people?
What's your Instagram?
It's my first and last name, Erica Medina.
How do you spell Erica?
I K a okay. Okay.
Medina. All right, Erica. Thank you very much for coming in reading the news.
Sean, thank you. You were much funnier today than usual. I can't imagine why that might be I was yeah
What's oh, yeah, does anything make you a rage? I
Mean you heard that guy the woman wouldn't get my pdf.
Yeah, right.
These are like if that's what makes you mad brodham.
Yeah, I mean I I try not to let things get to me.
I mean, I don't know.
Rage just just it's like drinking the poison wanting to what about when you can't get
your bun like when it's pulling.
I get frustrated.
Yes, a little bit, yes.
Those are real, that's different.
That's a real problem.
Exactly.
Cause then I got my arms up and I'm like,
you do it again and again and it gets worse.
Then you pin it and you're like,
I got it, but then one piece is out
and then you got to like, yeah, those are real problems.
How do you feel about pockets on women's clothing?
Pockets?
The fact that they don't have any really.
Like isn't that always a big problem with women's clothing?
There's no pockets on the fucking thing?
So, yeah, it's fucking purses for.
Well, yeah, that's right, but I wouldn't
brag about it.
But I would, I wouldn't brag about it
so my clothes would get excited.
Yes, they're poppy-s.
They cutepants one time, and I was like,
I had this right pocket event, and I did the red carpet,
and then I walked off, and I was like,
I forgot to pose using my pockets.
How are you going to pose with your pocket? like pulling them out like a poor, you know,
you have no money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, you just, you know, put your hands in them and just look really chic.
Oh, okay.
I didn't utilize that.
And I was upset about it.
But I was really pumped.
That's what the pockets are for.
It's not to store things.
It's so they're the perfect depth for women to pose and look cool.
Oh, How have we
missed this the whole time?
This is not women. It's not about yes. It's something they can make their arms. I get the
arms. You don't want to put your arm against your body, right? Yeah. Because then it looks
like chikos and a floppy. Yeah. Yeah. Not present company excluded. Right. Right. But
it. That's what they're for. Sean've been missing this is the greatest breakthrough in men's gender sciences in a decade women's pockets are to pose
their arms so they can flex them and that's it they're not useless we don't really put stuff
in there they pose with them because the purse is well entrenched in you know in society
now so women are expected to carry a purse oh Oh, I can't really hammer this up someone's ass. Okay good
Thank you Erica. It's like a sliver out of my brain the pockets are proposing. I love how he's already just
Decreed that that's it
Because they always I'll don't want to I want to always throw that out. Oh our pockets don't even work because of sexism wrong
It's because they're proposing if anybody ever wanted to take a picture of you,
you would know that.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ah.
Ha ha ha.
I don't think we can top that.
No, goodbye everyone.
See ya.