The Dick Show - Episode 157 - Dick on Maddox's Debt
Episode Date: June 4, 2019Collecting on Maddox's $290, the groceries cold war, #LGBT month, THOTs vs. THUDs, a Greenpeace shakedown, waiting for the Oculus Quest, the sex extortion story, more on moron War Games and true stori...es from Vietnam from the late 90s, The ballad of Christina Falso, Nick Monroe calls in, passion vs. disciprine, the mental gap of trans athletes, and my video games disability; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
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Yeah, all right.
Yeah, all right.
Oh, I've got a lot of, I got, we got some emails this week, didn't we?
Did we?
Oh, yeah.
Did you get included on a bunch?
Yeah, yeah.
Probably more than normal.
Yeah, I don't know if it could be.
I don't know if probably some of these are what you're going to talk about, maybe.
Yeah, there are some long stories.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
I got one marked sob story here.
That's probably one
That was the title of it or you called it that I called it that oh good good
Can't imagine what that's about. Yeah. Oh, yeah war games stories war game stories. Yes, the war games, you know my game
Yeah, ask your mom, wife, or girlfriend when the following five wars happened.
I love that so much.
It's great, it's never gonna be funny.
It is.
I do, I do wanna ask a lot of men.
I guarantee you men, I guarantee you men will come out on top.
There's, I don't think there's any doubt about that.
Yeah.
I just, I wanna know how bad most people, what's exactly?
What's the deviation?
I, the men that I know some
of them wouldn't know shit. A lot of them would. You know what I'm going to do? This week,
I'm going to ask everybody at the shop, every single person at the shop, and I'll bring
in my report next week. Okay. Yeah. Because I've got a report of my own. Oh, you do that confirms
my suspicions. Yeah. Okay. I got about a million of these war games answers. Oh, I love these so much. They're all better than the last. Oh, okay. I've got something. I've got something to start us off on a high note. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah Yep
It's a little segment I like to call bitch better have my money. Oh bitch better have my money
Are you ready to celebrate that Sean? I'm gonna get you sucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah
I think it's my money. Yeah, I'm gonna dig, you want diggin' diggin' love diggin' get it.
It's a show where everything's a contest gonna be live from Mountain Bunker deep in the
heart of the city of failure.
I'm here. Oh, dick mass, you said,
20 million dollar man.
The 20 million and $290 man.
We're gonna have to update this thing.
That's the point.
The computer.
Computer approach is gonna get a compatible
because I think compatible right now.
That's why it's doing it.
Sean, life is not compatible.
No, it is not.
You are going for something that is not possible. Now hopefully, if you want your software to be compatible, if you want your girlfriend to not compatible. No, it is not. You are going for something that is not possible.
Now, hopefully, if you want your software to be compatible,
if you want your girlfriend to be compatible,
if you want your kids to be compatible.
There's only one dose.
Nothing is compatible.
You're about to invent a new standard of life.
We've got seven billion,
we've got seven billion operating systems on this planet.
None of them are compatible.
We've been releasing apps for a millennia, for these operating systems on this planet. None of them are compatible. We've been releasing apps for a
millennia, for these operating systems. Now one of them works. Some of them have quasi-compatibility.
Yeah, maybe that's as good as you can keep back. Two of these systems, the same app, wildly
different results. You have kind of an out-around peg into a round hole and you got a jamming
and kind of sheer the sides off.
Guys, it's not whole.
What do you mean?
Oh boy, this guy doesn't even know what a hole is.
Seven billion systems, not two of them compatible.
You are going, you have a Halcyon dream.
Ha!
You have a Babylonian dream, Sean.
Uh, that is, that is not possible.
Damn.
20 million and $290 man.
That's me.
Oh, doesn't that peak your curiosity?
It sure does.
Uh, 20, yeah, yeah.
20 million and $290 man.
$290 come from.
Uh, well, you'll find out.
Um, recently voted America's worst Mexican.
I don't know, seven weeks running or something like that.
Join me. Oh, I think you're like nine weeks running.
Uh, joining joining me with me is always his, uh, world, world famous, world touring LA based
comedian Sean the audio engineer.
Hello, dick. Hey, what's up, buddy?
Bitch better have my money.
That's the name of the game today. Oh boy? Bitch better have my money! That's the name of the game today!
Oh boy.
Bitch better have my money.
What happens if Satch said bitch does not have the money?
Bitch better get my money!
Get your ass on the street and make me my money!
Get me my fucking money George!
Get me my fucking money!
What I have here in my hand and my hot little hand is a bill of sale.
Sign dated, whatever may something or other.
Last month recently, but filed.
Filed last Friday, a couple days ago.
A bill of sale between myself and Stereo's coconose
where and I have purchased the $290 of debt
that Maddox owed a Stereoos for filing fees or whatever the fuck.
I don't know why he owed them court court court declared fees.
Yeah.
That Maddox was supposed to pay to a stereos coconut and of course he never did.
No.
Because he well he wellched out because he weaseled his way.
He just ignored it.
Yep.
And what did what his parents do when they get a big loss
in the casino, they just ignore it, keep going.
Try to keep keeping on.
And the longer you live, what do we know about
putting things off like that?
Do they deal?
Right, does the IRS just go and pay taxes for eight years?
Just let it slide, you know?
The grandkids will figure out the debt.
It doesn't matter.
I want my 17 wars now.
Right.
So he could have taken care of a problem very easily.
You could have written a check to Asterios.
An easy check to write for a guy that you've maliciously wronged.
But now you got to write it.
Now you got to write it to me.
I paid Asterios.
I couldn't sit here.
I couldn't sit here in my life and see
a stereo's owed this $290 that would sit like a sliver in his brain. You know what I mean?
This is money that you're owed. You may have had your life destroyed for various reasons
along this lawsuit saga, but this one, this one wrong, I could easily correct.
What's like, rather check for $290.
You're by yourself a switch, by yourself a new switch, you're out this, you were awarded
this by the New York Supreme Court of something.
Well, it's like everything can be made worse with like a, like a, like a hang nail or a headache, right?
You could have like cancer ravaging your body.
And but, and you have a headache on top of it,
or a hang nail that's really annoying.
And that little thing, it's like, yeah, he's totally,
he's been destroyed.
Yeah.
And he's got that, at least I have the 290 bucks.
Right, I want that 290 bucks. Right.
It's what that 290 bucks.
It's the broken shoelace.
That drives men to madness.
That's 200.
It's not the 30 grand, it's not the career destroyed, it's not the friendships destroyed,
and the comedy career destroyed, and the Google Serbs that have been ruined, it's the $290.
So I made a stereos hole in that regard, giving me a daceless work of art.
A priceless work of art.
This is a bill of sale that I'm holding in my hand
for $290 that I own, that I'm going to get back,
that I'm fucking promise you, I will be getting back.
For reasons of justice and due process and the constitution and America and freedom
for everything that I believe in and stand for and to prove that Maddox is a giant weeping vagina.
He will pay me this $290 that I as an agent of the court and justice. I am the law.
And justice, I am the law. Well, be getting because it is owed to me.
Resurrected.
Ah.
Okay.
Bitch better have my money, that's all.
Saying the earlier you look, it's the interest
is climbing constantly, yearly on this.
In a thousand years, this could be worth a million dollars.
I don't know, I don't have a math degree. And neither do you, this could be worth a million dollars. I don't know. I don't
have a math degree. And neither do you, George. So you better pay. You better get out your checkbook
as evidenced by him not writing a stereos to check. Now, now the lean holder, it's me.
I was the worst person on earth to be in that position too. I will stop at nothing to get this money.
I will stop at nothing to get this $290.
That I am owed by the New York state of the Supreme Court
of the state of New York.
By God, I will get that $290.
Oh boy.
Now since it's been transferred to you
or you purchased the debt, I own it.
How, yeah, I own it.
Yeah.
I own your ass.
How long does he have to pay that before the interest just climbs forever?
Okay.
You mean how long does he have to pay it until I start trying to collect it?
Well, there's that too, but no.
The interest climbs every year, when to how does every second.
It's like the national debt.
Just imagine in your mind, pennies, fractions of a penny,
screaming in the upwards direction.
Right, right.
Like the power meter at the Griswald house
around Christmas time.
I'm telling you, George,
put a, do a cyber Monday, Maddox sale, sell some mad bucks,
whatever you have to do
But give me my fucking money. Give me my money as quickly as possible. You bitch
Give me my money as quickly as possible. You bitch like you should have paid a stereo
So you gigantic bitch. Give me my fucking money. Oh boy. He had plenty of warning too
You had plenty of warning. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna buy that dad buy that dead
warning too. You had plenty of warning. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy that debt. I'm gonna buy that debt because I can't stand to see a stereos aggrieved for $290 after
he has lost so much on top of everything. He offered to just give it to me and I said
absolutely not. Oh, no, no. Right. You got it for a dollar. I said no. No, I got to do
about this. Do it needs to be made right. Right. I don't care what it takes. This needs to be made right. Right. I don't care what it takes. This needs to be made right as a function of justice
or else I can't believe in Trump anymore.
How, what is the point of having a great America
if people are, oh, if scumbags are allowed,
if cucks are allowed to get away with having $290
to throw at camhors so they can beat off
in their weird, not desk computer chair
in front of two monitor stands.
What is the point of having a big, beautiful wall
for keeping out the illegal Mexicans
if this is happening within our own borders?
There's no point.
I might as well start myself on fire,
start running around.
Yeah.
You once said that if you ever find yourself on fire,
you owe it to everyone in the general vicinity
to run around with your arms,
been wheeling. That's, that jackass. Did you see that guy that lit yourself on fire, you owe it to everyone in the general vicinity to run around with your arms panwheeling.
That's, that jackass.
Did you see that guy that lit himself on fire?
Which makes some sense.
I crossed the mind, I admit, but it also would be a hell of a show.
Yeah, because I heard that when you're on fire, it's like euphoric.
Like you don't feel the pain because you don't have any oxygen and there's so much pain
that you don't, it's like there's a weird sort of, I mean, I don't know.
I've never been on fire before.
That's just, that's what I'm trying next year, maybe.
Did you see that guy in front of the White House?
No. Stumbling like a zombie.
No.
Oh, so as far as protests.
Self-unfairly.
It was like a Buddhist monk type, the self-immolation thing.
I don't know if it was like a Buddhist monk, some kind of protest.
I don't know. He's wearing a USA shirt,
and he lit himself on,
I think that he lit himself on fire
because the wall isn't going up fast enough.
That's what I heard.
He's dead now, so there's no way to know.
His last tweet was like feel the burn or something like that.
Seriously?
Oh, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
All right, but you left out the pinwheeling, man.
Like come on, put some, put some thighs into it.
How often do we get to see a guy burn to death
in front of the White House?
And you're gonna stumble in like a zombie?
We're out of shape.
Give me a break.
A computer could do that.
Skipping leg day too much.
Yeah.
Come on man.
Put some streamers on your ass or something
and run around.
Yeah.
Run around.
Throw some, throw some fireworks around.
Dress up like a Chinese dragon.
Exactly.
Something.
Something.
Give us a show.
Not a USA shirt that you clearly bought at Walmart.
You get a lot more hits.
You would get a lot more hits.
Monday is the, Monday is the sanctions.
Battle I believe.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm trying to get as many dickheads as possible
to go there to ask Land Out questions outside of court.
Land Out has got a show.
Land Out, I do think has to show.
What about George?
Well, he can send an attorney,
he can send an attorney or he can just cross his fingers
and hope that the judge really loves what he's doing.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I mean, well, I hope that the judge just doesn't like shifting money around, I guess. Yeah, right.
I don't know.
I wanted to go, but it was 800 bucks.
So I'm very, very excited about that.
It's a bad, bad week for Maddox, I guess is my point.
Bad week.
Godzilla is out, but now kind of the worst person in the world legally owns your debt and you're gonna get hit with
some, I don't know, you're gonna get hit with sanctions. There's no reason. I don't think he can skate
out of that Scott free. I sure hope not. Just for wasting the court's time getting duped to such a
decomptan. Like at that level, 20 grand, 30 grand,
and attorney's fees is nothing for those judges.
Nothing words are setting.
Nothing words are setting.
But yeah, I mean, I would be devastated.
If he, if Maddox gets away,
Scott free on these sanctions,
I will be fucking devastated.
Yeah, it doesn't seem, it just,
it seems like a horrible miscarriage of justice.
Yeah.
Because the courts are too lazy or too afraid to make attorneys afraid or too, like, I
don't know.
I don't know.
Okay, let's get to, I get to what makes me a rage and then we got to talk about Christina
Falsow too. What are you going to talk about her now?
Whatever.
No, let's talk about her in a minute.
I'll tell you what makes me a rage.
This week, the waiting, the waiting on my own procrastination
and the waiting for an Oculus Quest device is like a little rat chewing away
at the inside of my brain.
Stupid Izzy Nobre, got me onto this idea
that I have to buy a VR helmet
to experience the next level in computer games.
You don't have one now.
I don't have one now because,
you know, I really,
my masturbating experience is very important to me.
So I have always wanted to get a VR machine
to do the VR pornography and whatever,
like whatever computer VR technology that there is.
I've always wanted it, but I don't want to beat off in the studio.
You know what I mean?
And the only computer that can run the VR is in the sacred space here.
Yeah, I don't want to start like,
and then I might, because I might slip up on the air.
I don't want to think about you beating off in the studio.
I don't want to get that association where I start getting hard.
I don't even want to look at that computer
if that's your big deal.
If it's big deal.
You have to beat up.
Right, I don't want to, I don't want to quantumly mesh,
I don't want to quantumly inseam an entangle everything to quantumly and seamen and tangle everything in here.
Right.
This is a sacred room.
Quantum level.
That's funny.
Yeah, I don't want any of the particles in here
to be touched with jerk off sweat
or some kind of accidental spray.
Like a seamen on it.
Yes, like you come in and there's a big seamen hanging from the rafters.
Oh, what's going on here?
Oh, it's AirGel, right?
You got black widows in here?
Big ones.
Yeah.
Big ones.
I bring them in by the bus load.
But there's this new, the new one,
the new headset has no need for a computer attachment.
No shit.
You just slap it on.
You're in a whole other world.
Goodbye, debt, goodbye, HBO, goodbye, politics,
goodbye, everything is just me and this cute little mouse
that I get to follow around on a big adventure.
Fuck everybody, fuck voicemails, fuck banks,
fuck complaints, fuck wrong shipping labels,
fuck taxes, you want, right?
This is the world.
What wouldn't it be, I mean, it's a better world.
It's a better world.
Can be whoever you want.
Yeah, some more in-sell over here.
It's Chad all the way.
Man, so many people are never coming out.
I wanted to be first among these people.
So is he got me all amped up?
I go and sit on it.
If you order now, take, if you order now,
oh, we sold out of the model that is reasonably priced,
but there is a fuck you priced model.
Yeah.
There is a fuck you priced model still available.
Well, I don't want to buy that fuck you price model,
fuck you, I know my rights.
Yeah.
Am I being detained?
Fuck you, I'm not buying the 500 model for only like
a hundred more gigs or something like that. I know the scam. That's $3 more that you
put into the piece. I'm not paying $100 for it more. But they know that you can't next
day. You'll sit by yourself and think. I need that. I actually do need that. Just give
it to me. I've sat long enough,
started internally justifying a bar tab,
cost more than that anyway.
Yeah, what if I, come on, I got all this,
I got all this.
Maddox money rolling in.
It's coming.
Just gonna splurge and get it right.
Yeah, fuck it, go to the website.
Sold out!
No!
Fuck!
Wow.
Fuck!
When are they gonna get more?
We're gonna fill in that.
2025, it's said, I don't know.
I don't know why they, I don't know how you sell out
of a revolutionary video gaming system,
but my video game disability was really going into overdrive.
My World Health Organization declared video games disability
was really starting to give me the shakes
and the twitches.
The struggles real.
Yeah, I was starting to have multiple strokes.
Ooh.
Well, yeah, because you're not getting the other strokes.
So, Aides Gros says, hey, check it out.
Walmart, they still have, they still have two left
at Walmart.
Of the premium one.
Of the premium one.
Oh, okay.
Let's go.
Let's go right now.
I'm not pretending anymore.
I don't know why I pretended to be this Buddhist monk
who can resist temptation for a day to save $100
over the course of three weeks.
I don't know who this person is,
but I want to excise it from my fucking brain
with a drill.
Hey, idiot.
I'll send myself a message from the future.
Hey, you fucking moron.
Just bite. You don't have this kind of will bite, you don't have this kind of willpower.
You don't have this kind of willpower.
Just stick, just stick to trying not to drink every day
by 10 in the morning that you don't do too.
It wants a la, la, la, la.
You're gonna get it.
You're gonna get it.
Just go get it now.
Just spend over.
Just go, just do it now.
It's fine.
It's not a huge, it's not a huge loss. They're not winning. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah,
winning right. They paid millions of dollars to know how stupid you are. Just get on board.
So we go to Walmart, which if you if you ever hear anyone question the motives of a mass
shooter or serial killer, just go to Walmart.
Oh, okay. Oh, that'll... Man, one walk through the men's fitness department.
Well, actually walk through both. Just flip all the tags as you go through the women's...
Oh, six XL, seven XL. This one has a little picture of a tank on it. Cool.
Then head over to the men's and you get a tire rack of t-shirts with princess
Jasmine on them. Not that one man might wear this for a slaughter or something like that,
but an army of men all across America are wearing this. More puns than the more puns than
you could ever be hold in a lifetime. Every popsicle stick joke is on a shirt at the Walmart
with an American flag on it that's
been weathered because you will wear it twice approximately in your life. Anyone, anyone
who's ever blamed psychotropic drugs on mass shootings, go to a Walmart, spend an hour
in a Walmart. And if you don't come out with two AR-15s,
duct tape to your hands with the triggers down
and the bump stocks rapidly bouncing off your shoulders,
you, I think you're lying.
Take whatever gland you have in the anti-psychotic gland
in your brain, squeeze it dry, and then sell that.
Yeah, right.
Yep, that in corporate voicemail systems.
Between those two things, yeah, put the whole populace on mass shooting watch.
Yeah.
Every army base, if the army bases in Iraq were run by Walmart and stocked with Walmart products,
I think that the Middle East war would be over,
primarily, and it would just be a field of glass,
because of all the murderous rage
that the puns and the intellectual property
and the processed Americanism on display at the Walmart
induces in the mind of a healthy man.
Not possible.
If an intergalactic alien were to devise a zoo
for a human being, it would be the Walmart.
But this is, we use the Walmart as a zoo
and online zoo right now.
I mean, we've had people of Walmart for years, right?
I mean, it's fucking hilarious.
Here's one of the sure, are you kidding me
right now with a giant?
Right now.
Right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, Wux-O-R-E, right me out.
This is a shirt at the Walmart.
Yeah, I can't even make it.
I was going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I put on,
you thought there was one pun in there, right?
Or I put on those dark glasses, those cataract glasses.
Yeah, and I got a stick outside.
And I just had 80s grow lead me through
And somebody said, Oh, wow. What's wrong with him? He said, Oh, he has a video game disability Don't worry. We parked in the handicap. He went to the closing section. Yeah, avoided the I was going around like a spider man. It's only 997
It's the devil. Yeah
It's the devil one of
It's like the Twinkie defense
It's the devil. One, it's like the Twinkie defense.
You remember that one?
Yeah.
Well, the joke of a defense that was, Guy eats too much Twinkies and too much saccharid
or something like that causes murderous rage.
Yeah.
I think it was actually, that's how it's remembered.
I think it was slightly different than that.
He was a Twinkie.
That was how it actually was.
How did it go?
How do you remember it?
Oh, you know what?
I have to look it up.
I read about it recently.
It wasn't exactly how people are remembering it that he ate so many of them that it went,
that he went crazy in the brain.
That was a defense though.
It was, it was different than it was quite as outlandish as that.
It was normal.
Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't so hilarious.
As is usually the case.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you ever see that woman that spilled the coffee on her lap, too, by the way, that McDonald's?
McDonald's, yeah.
That burn was one of the ugliest things I've ever seen.
Like, and when I saw her, I was like, oh, well, yeah, that's 10 million bucks.
Yeah, that's definitely McDonald's fault.
There's no way.
There's no way something should come out of a restaurant and a drive-through
that is akin to a nuclear reactor in your hand. That's definitely their fault. I remember
that. But it got made fun of still. Oh yeah. They never put the pictures on TV. Yeah, I
guess that's true, huh? You know, like you don't think coffee could possibly, exactly what partying is true. Yeah.
Anyway, I'm going through Walmart,
just with my hands in front of me,
because I can't possibly see,
I can't possibly see these things,
what they have that they have on display.
They've got the grotesque worries
of the human condition or too much for me.
So we finally find the electronics departments,
hey buddy, you got two right here, let's go,
fork it over, fork them over, let's go.
Give me your Oculus Quest,
I see it right here on the website, right here,
and guy goes, oh yeah, we don't have any of those now.
No, no, look at this, see this?
See this?
The computer?
This computer overrides you.
I know how this works.
When I get fucked, it's because the computer said
that I get fucked. So because the computer said that I get fucked so now the computer
Is still god don't don't pretend like this doesn't still apply that the computer means nothing it clearly does
I know how this works computer says no I'm fucked got it good game
Yeah, I'm leaving I'm out you're right
Computer says go it's a go go it. Go to the back and get it.
Guys comes back empty hand and I say, I fucking know what I know what's going on here.
I know that you mother fuckers are stashing them and hiding them somewhere so that you can buy them after your shit.
I fucking know this. I work. I said, come over here. Come, come close to me.
I fucking know it might not be you, but I, but look around right now.
Who's not looking me in the eye as I'm spelling out was I've worked at a toy store. I understand
what happens in these circumstances around hot products. I know somebody stashed them,
go around and float this idea around your co-workers or anybody else at the store. Debranne goes, I mean, I just, I don't, I don't, I'm like, all right.
Yeah.
I guess I'll just go, I guess I'll just go home and try to think myself into a
catatonic stupor for five days.
So I don't come in a mass shooting.
So I don't come in a mass shooting so I can get this item that is the,
that is the meaning of my life this week.
So you don't have a one.
So I don't have one.
Okay.
The only thing I can do is just tell random people
that I do have one,
because that kind of feels like I do then.
Say cool, can I come over and use it?
No, today's not a good day.
Yeah, at least that's.
I'm going to be on this thing a lot.
I got way too much to do today.
I got to configure it. Huge, lube delivery coming.
Yeah, I got to rent a fork lift.
Don't worry, don't come ask me, I'll come find you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I do have it.
Don't call us.
Everybody just beware that I do have it.
Yeah.
Kiss anybody's saying, never goes away.
It never goes away.
Is there a pill that exists that I can eat
for wanting a thing and it never goes away?
Never goes away.
I don't know about that one.
Do women have this feeling or is this a men-only thing?
What the want?
Yeah.
It goes away.
God damn it, I really want it.
Well what happens when you get it?
I probably play it for an hour or two
and let it sit in the closet.
I mean, yeah.
Same thing like with a woman,
like, all right, that was good.
But you gotta get out of here.
Go home, I got stuff to do.
I got work in the morning.
So that would hand me my phone.
Will you hand me my phone?
Yeah, grab, give me good glass of water
or something for yourself.
You're thirsty, right?
Go grab some water.
Yeah, right.
Greenpeace also harassed me at the door.
Really? Yeah, right. Greenpeace also harassed me at the door. Really?
Yeah, at my own home.
Oh, at the door to your home?
Yeah.
This little twosome, this gruesome twosome
of weird fucking wild-eyed eco-terrorism activists
came to the door shaking me down for donations
with an accelerated timeline of Andrea Axio Cortez's talking points.
He's a little asshole who told me that the world was going to end in 10 years, like they're
clearly going door to door during the day where it's mostly women home and shaking people
down with some of the hardest sales tactics
I have ever seen in my life.
Oh, while Beth this conversation went well.
No, you know, and that was the worst part
because I don't want my stuff fucked with.
And these guys, these are the guys
who are burning themselves on the White House.
Like everything that they do is insane to me.
Oh yeah.
So I think, well, okay, I can't wait to lay
into these motherfuckers about this.
They're like, oh no, they're unhinged.
Yeah, what am I doing?
Why would I be doing this?
I have a beautiful brand basically two years old truck
sitting here that is a wheeled Satan to them
because it's belching fumes into, right? a huge carbon a mirror. Yeah, you're oh
What am I that was the worst part sitting there and having to just swallow it all listening to them over and no
You're not getting anyone yeah, but you're like dude you get out of here. This is this is 10 this is 10 nose in a fucking row
Yeah, if you guys I got me too by green piece.
It was such a terrible feeling.
It pissed me off all day.
Like, I wanted to say, hey, get off my property,
or I'm gonna shoot you.
Yeah, that would be right.
But then, then what?
They come, they're clearly in the neighborhood.
They come back the next day.
They fuck with somebody else.
They just walk by the car and kid. This is the, this they come back the next day, they fuck with somebody else, they just walk by the car and kid.
This is the endless tax, the politeness tax of living in a system of having anything
in the world is the politeness tax of not getting to tell busters off at every single opportunity.
And I fucking hate it.
I resent the car now because of what it's done to me.
Go ahead.
Being held hostage by, by the crazies. Yeah, we kind of are. We really are.
Or do that. Um, well, okay, what else? If you see them out on the road and your driving said,
truck, you're, oh, you've got one option and it's to run them over. That's true. If I ever see a green
piece bumper sticker, I'll take whatever I have in the couple there
and just chuck it in the window.
Now I'll fill totally.
Or if someone else does that, they can do it on my behalf.
Sure.
Just like I bought, you can buy it against his dad.
You can buy my, man, that would be great.
A grievance, like a Bitcoin, where you could go in and pay some bitcoins
to what organization has aggrieved you,
like drop in a cryptocurrency, right?
So it's totally anonymous, can't be fucked with going.
Like yeah, I give 100 bucks and grip in Bitcoin
to the, I've been aggrieved by a green piece today.
And then when somebody, when the bounty's like a million dollars
and somebody burns their headquarters,
the ground like, hey, congratulations.
You just got, enjoy prison, but you got 10 million bucks
and bitcoins, that ain't bad.
There you go.
That could get you some time off, right?
Yeah.
It's like the running man.
It's LGBT month, did you know that?
LGBTQ.
No, no, no.
A, they're still working on the T's. S, T.
They can't, they can't progress until they have total T,
total T acceptance.
Okay.
And then they'll start adding,
is the T, the T's kind of a hard left.
The more, the more, yeah.
I feel like they need their own organization, you know?
Well, the more letters you add,
the more letters you add, the more letters you add,
the more infighting there's gonna be amongst the groups.
Yeah.
This is always what happens.
Well, yeah, and the first guys are kind of like
at a different stage of there.
It's like a couple continuously having kids.
Like the L's and the G's are in college now.
They've been around, well, yeah, they have careers.
They have kids of their own, right?
Yeah, they've been around for a while.
You got the bees and the teas,
the teas coming in and the a's and the eyes.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, right, right, a's and eyes.
And the two spirits, those I don't know,
they're, I think they're like furries.
Oh, I don't know, but I saw, I saw the,
oh no, they're, they're of them the other day. It's incredible
Well, look all I know is that heterosexuality is illegal in June. Oh, no
I'm gonna be dressing up like a gay police officer going around town swastling people for doing anything heterosexual
Right, they understand what it feels like to be oppressed. Yeah
Yeah, like our LGBT
Brothers and sisters do.
Holding hands in public. That's a hurrahm busted. You're going straight to jail.
Wedding, I'm going to be busting down weddings. Checking under the dress. No, illegal. Yep.
Get them out of here. Round them up. Round them up. Get them the hell out of here.
Not dancing. Then he guys not dancing. That's a good beat him the hell out of here. Not dancing.
And then he guys not dancing.
That's a good beat.
What you're doing is illegal, sir.
That's a heterosexual act of refusing to dance.
That's it.
Here's a citation.
Gone.
This is a gay citation for you.
To the gulags with you.
You gotta know what it's like.
Old couples renewing their vows.
Mm.
Busted.
You're going straight to jail. Straight to a busted. You're going straight to jail.
Straight to a home. You're going straight to a home. We're putting you in the cloud.
Oh yeah. Where everything is gay all the time.
They had it at Dodger Stadium to LGBT.
Oh yeah, they've had that for some years now. At least a few. They make you prove that you're one
of those to get in. Right. You prove that you're one of those to get in.
You prove that you're doing gay stuff to get in.
Yeah.
Makes a line go really slow.
It has to make the line.
Security is just like, I mean, they're searching all kinds of places.
Yeah.
And then they do.
And then they do.
And then it's a nightmare.
Yeah.
And the seventh inning stretch takes on a new.
Yeah, whole new connotation.
The whole new, yeah.
Yeah, a whole new, uh. The whole new, yeah.
A whole new, uh, has a whole new feel.
Right.
To it and every time there's two balls, they have the fifth field that by nine catchers
on its side.
Yeah.
It's nine.
Right.
I don't know where, you know, it's nine.
Nine.
Nine or two.
I don't know.
It's eight catchers.
When it's LGBT night at Dodger Stadium, it's eight catchers in one pitcher.
So everybody goes out into the field wearing catchers,
catchers outfits and helmets.
And then all the gaping, I'm like, okay,
isn't that ain't that the truth?
They all turn to each other.
Whenever there's two balls on the count,
they all, everybody in the stands
it has to elbow each other and go,
don't threaten me with a good time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
And then when there's three balls, they go, same joke every time.
Go see a doctor, right?
Yeah.
Reminds me of, and then they say an ex-boyfriend that reminds them of.
Have enjoy, enjoy the month where every company pretends that it cares about you because a certain
number of you are too stupid to realize you're being pandered to that's what it that's what it is
that is what that is what society there's so much it's the pandering is just embarrassing yep
the big corporations the movie industry it's it's it's it is so embarrassing.
I'm just, I'm embarrassed for,
I'm embarrassed for the people who don't understand
that it is just soulless pandering.
It's because they hate you so much.
It's because they have such disdain for you
as a person that they use your identity to sell you shit.
Yeah, yeah.
That's impass.
That's all it means.
The same companies doing business in countries
where it is illegal to be gay have so little respect for you
and your life choices.
That's a good point.
They use it to sell you shit.
Yeah, that's a good point because they absolutely do business
in countries where it is illegal to be gay.
Upon that,
a penalty of death.
Like that Disney ban.
Yeah, Disney's that'd be hard to do,
hard to make movies in Alabama now
because abortion's illegal there.
Disney's throw in there,
which by the way,
that's what it looks like when a company actually
doesn't want legislation to go through.
They start saying shit like, oh, we're not going to do business there then. You guys better fucking
rethink it. They don't change their Google doodle or whatever. Oh, we really like, we really
don't want this legislation to pass. No, they say, if you guys pass this, if you guys do
this legislation, we're just entirely pulling out of your state. Yeah. With Hitman the
Wallet. Yeah, which to me says, let's overturn Roe versus Wade as quickly as possible and see if
we can get Disney to pull.
Let's see what they do in film.
Oh, you don't want Disney movies.
Yeah, I see.
Oh, I don't care.
Right.
All of a sudden, like, wait a minute, wait a minute.
We can make abortion illegal and get rid of, we can get rid of Disney.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Disney's going to own the world, man.
Yeah, they have no problems. I don't know if they're gonna not sell shit in Alabama anymore. Yeah, right.
Or if they're just gonna not work there. I don't know what the choke point is exactly. Or if they
Or if they're gonna do like a Florida does that are they gonna dig up Disney World?
Mm-hmm and drag it across and drag it into Mississippi
or something like that?
I don't know.
Are they still selling, are they still selling shit
in Saudi Arabia and Jordan or Qatar or all of that ship?
I assume so.
Anyway, I'll be spending the month walking around like a heterosexual, homosexual
lemon grab screaming at people for violating, for not standing with our, standing with
our LGBT brothers and sisters during the month.
You have a good time with that.
I do think the tea is a bit of a twist.
Uh, yeah, LGBT. good time with that. I do think the T is a bit of a twist.
Yeah, LGB, well, it's of those titles, it would be considered the most extreme, wouldn't it?
I mean, well, the other one's differences,
well, the difference is you're going
on sexuality.
Yeah, like, aren't they?
Well, the other ones are entirely based on sexuality
and the T's are like not. Well, yeah other ones are entirely based on sexuality, but then the teas are like not.
Well, yeah, right?
Cause they're not sexual.
It's just how you identify and your sexuality's different.
Yeah, but the other ones are entirely sexual.
But you don't identify as a gay man,
you're just physically attracted by guys' butts.
And the guy, excuse me, I'm putting that in straight terms. Put it in
gate terms, it's attracted to the man, right? Yeah, but they identify as men. Well, they don't,
they're men who like men, they're women who like women, right? They're men or women who like men
or and women. Yeah, but they're men who like both and they're women who really love attention.
Yeah, now you're getting into,
with the trans you're getting into.
It's not sexual anymore.
Those are make sense.
Well, it's independent of being sexual.
Well, I don't know.
Sexuality, right?
I don't know.
This is how I understand it.
Yeah.
Oh, that's illegal.
Okay, all right.
There's a pretty funny thought hunt.
Yeah. Really?
Yeah.
A guy, are you talking about the facial recognition stuff?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
How great is that?
That's a bit...
I mean, boy, those...
But he has, he has, he has, he has, he has it.
Or what...
Because I mean, I know the technology obviously exists.
Yeah, so who cares if he proves it?
I mean, just be like, now it's a threat.
You gotta put those thoughts on,
you know what if he does?
Yeah.
Well, he will soon enough.
We all now know that the technology exists.
Oh, sure.
Which shouldn't be a problem, right?
Cause it's so fucking liberating to be as sexual
as possible in your 20s, right?
Oh, we're all on board with that.
How sex work is real work.
Okay, now it can track you forever.
Say what?
Yeah, never mind.
No, that's, stop that technology.
Nope, not going back in the bottle.
No, I brought in some quotes from it.
This is horrendous and a pitched, perfect example of how these systems globally enable male dominance.
Saraya Kamali, author of Rage Becomes Her, said on Tuesday about the alleged product surveillance
like a fair and balanced site, doesn't it?
Rage Be her surveillance, impersonation, extortion, misinformation, all happen to
women first and then move to the public sphere where once men are affected, it starts to
get attention.
I really, yeah, once men are affected, it starts to get attention.
Okay.
Whether the users, whether the guys claims or trustworthy are not as beside the point, now
that experts in feminist studies and machine learning have decried this project as algorithmically
targeted harassment.
We got new terms every day.
Algorithmically targeted harassment. That's a good one. That'll stick outlaw
a good. Outlaw ones and zeros. Yeah. Algorithmically targeted her, the computer
found out that I the computer is a big it. The computer is a big it against
sexual liberation. Yeah. Delete it. Algorithmically targeted harassment.
This kind of program's existence is both possible.
Can't make this shit up and frightening.
It has started a conversation around whether such a program
would be ethically or legally responsible use of AI.
What about the conversation of are you guys lying
about being hosed or what? What about the conversation of are you guys lying about being hos or what? What about
that conversation? Has it started that conversation yet? Is all the Danielle Citron, a professor
of law who studied the aftermath of, you know what's crazy about deep fakes too? I started
talking about deep fakes. Credit card companies won't let you use them.
Won't let you use even the high-risk processors
if you're dealing in deep fakes.
That's how deeply...
What's a deep fake?
A deep fake is they're able to take
like a series of photos of you or a single photo of you
and put it on another person
or algorithmically generate you saying
shit that you didn't say.
Like they can get a picture of you and make it look like you are doing or saying whatever
you want.
So obviously, the first application of this is to take hot celebrities and put them in
porn.
So it's just obviously.
And so you put their faces on there.
Yeah.
And like it tracks them and stuff like that.
That's it, right? Oh, and it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, them and stuff like that, right? I mean, like it's, yeah.
It's, it's, it's definitely enough to beat off.
It's way better than my personal Photoshop skills.
Wow.
And it moves around and stuff.
It's so good that credit card,
high risk credit card processors will not let you,
will not let you do it.
That's how you know it's good.
That's how you know it's good.
Yeah.
And it would be, it would be a shame if that was kept out.
Like if that was actually banned from the public sphere.
Because it's just, it is a work of art seeing it done.
It's hard to find, but when they get out,
it's like, I forget who was it singing.
There was, I think Steve Buscemi was singing Taylor Swift's
song or he was doing a Jennifer Lawrence interview, but it was him with her voice. It looked
perfect.
Wow. Way good enough to beat off to.
No, I can't watch Fargo anymore. There you go.
Algorithmically targeted harassment. It's coming.
The word, what really makes me rage about these thoughts on Instagram is them promoting
their friends on their Instagram all the time. If you find one, if you find a thought on Instagram that you like and add her to get a
ready supply of titillating pornography, non-nude pornography.
I like to be titillated at all times. Yeah, any second of the day that I'm not titillated. I go into it. Childish rage about it. Yeah, I find that they const at least to a degree of like
one of three to one, they will promote their thud friends.
They will toss their thud.
Yeah, the thoughts are the hot ones.
Yeah, the thuds are the dumpy ones.
It is thud a real term.
I don't know.
Oh, that's hilarious.
It's thud friends.
So you will get, you will make a
background him out of that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. We'll work on it. Yes. The
thuds that they throw in there, like they'll get two, they'll get two of them. Some big
titty thought, two videos, and they will toss in a thud,
hey follow my friend, and you know women,
I want to say that they have no idea of what attractive is,
because I don't think that they do.
If you've ever had a woman try to set you up
with her best friend who's so cute,
we've talked about Chick-Hot, right?
Yeah, yeah, that's, yes. No idea.
Well, they, it's also.
They do it maliciously, though, too.
Well, and they also do it because they're not threatened by that chick who they think,
at the age of time, oh, isn't she beautiful?
Is it she's not really threatening?
It's, it's Chick-Hot.
Oh, so maybe they're seating there, so maybe they're seating their account with a bunch of thuds so that they do then look hotter.
Yeah.
As by the time I flip through the th-
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, three thuds and I'm done over here.
I'm back to swinging rope over here to get back into it.
It's such a relief.
I mean, like that huge ugly, because it's that hoe over there, right? Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Someone will fake that.
That humongous.
The fucking thuds that they're promoting.
I'm just saying.
God's Liam is really driving me nuts.
The grocery cold war.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
The groceries cold war.
enlighten me.
Sean.
I have been here.
I have been so.
You look at your staying away from, I've just been staying away from news sources.
No, this is not a news source, but I'm so much happening in your own house.
This is the groceries cold war that do you live with your girlfriend?
I mean, pretty much.
Pretty much.
How many days you spend over there?
Pretty much all of them.
All of them? Yeah, these days. How many, how many clothes do you spend over there? Pretty much all of them. All of them? Yeah, these days.
How many clothes do you have over there?
Most of your clothes?
Do you have a drawer or you bring a bag over there?
Now I have drawers, few shirts in the closet.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I have those V-necks in the closet.
I would say no, they're folded up.
Yeah, I've got a lot of clothes at home,
but I've got a lot of clothes there too.
Not just VNX.
Okay.
This is what the groceries Cold War is.
And I know that every man in the world from here to China goes through it.
I give you a great example.
80s girls shopping for groceries on Amazon fresh, loading it up at night and she goes,
oh, tough titties. they're out of Diet Coke.
They're out of the 24 pack of Diet Coke.
Oh, I need my 24 pack of Diet Coke, I'm addicted.
Say, okay, I see what you're doing over there,
trying to throw it out, that they're out of Diet Coke
so that I'm not surprised when you don't order any Diet Coke.
But why don't you see if they have any 12 packs of Diet Coke?
Oh yeah, sure enough, they have any 12 packs of diet cogs? Oh, yeah,
sure enough. They have 12 packs in stock. Okay. Okay. So I think we know, so I think to
myself now, you don't want to be an overbearing prick. You know, in a micro, people don't
like being micromanaged or assumed that they are stupid, right? People don't like that.
But it is often the case that they do not do what you expect them
to do. And you have to, you have to, you have to miss your entire life. You have to miss
both ways until you find that sweet spot of just how hard everybody needs to be ridden.
You're so right. You're so right. And it's, it's, it's unfortunate. And I just had a big discussion with my girlfriend
about communication and her friends.
Oh, you do, huh?
Well, no, because she has great friends,
but they're stupid.
They're stupid and they don't understand. They go through life walking forward and going,
oh, bright shiny object. Oh, bright shiny object. You see, I need the VR to simulate the experience
of life that ordinary people have. Oh, a bright shiny out. Oh, look at that over there. Instead
of live, when I think, oh, look at that. There's the federal reserve. There's the federal reserve over there.
Go ahead. What were you going to say? No, I was just going to say, so they drive her absolutely
crazy, which I completely understand, but I'm like, listen, they're not operating on your level.
Yeah. I love Keyon's statement from a couple of weeks ago, like, what a kiss ass.
What a valentine state president talking about'm not a smartest girlfriend is on a podcast
What a fucking champ. No, but it's 101
Some people operate on a 101 level and they're and they're not very good at that. They're failing that
Yeah, so if you're just normal
Certain things that you think would just be
normal. Certain things that you think would just be obvious. Like, no, they're out of a 24 pack of diet soda. The 12 packs are in stock. Well, what would you think? Low and low and
behold, I get the shopping ingredients on the next day when they're supposed to come.
And what do I see? One 12 pack of soda. My skull, the top of my skull shot completely out of my head and went into outer space
and my brain shot up with a googly eyes.
Do you have a comical look on a face like?
Yes, like more combat.
Oh my god.
And my body started doing a little insane dance.
I just walked around the neighborhood,
decking mother fuck, I went door to door,
knocking on a door, and every time somebody opened
with a Diet Coke, I would fucking lay them out.
Greenpeace, knock knock.
Yeah.
Keen Cars, random man.
Diet Coke.
Because when that box runs out,
when that box runs out when that box runs out
I will be fucked for the remainder of the grocery experience until it's time to recharge and I know this and she knows this
And she did it on purpose. She did it on purpose because she saw this as an opportunity to lower my intake of
Aspartame or whatever addictive Diet Coke product there. Yeah
For that's why it is the groceries cold war and we all do it take of Aspertaim or whatever addictive Diet Coke product there. Yeah. Yeah.
That's why it is the groceries cold war and we all do it.
I see.
We all do it.
If we go shopping together and I see like sations, sour patch kids in there, I will take
that shit and throw it across the store.
Yeah.
Fuck you bitch.
You don't need this.
Baaah.
Uh.
Now we know and talk about it because there's no stopping it.
Nothing I could have said,
I could have said, I could have said,
get two of those.
Get to get to of the 12 to make it,
I know that you know, I know that you know,
and I know that you know that I know
I will be fucked when it arrives
because I am not going to the store
and buying one 12 pack of soda.
I'm gonna fill the whole garage with soda. I'm going to buy 17,000 Diet Coke so I never
run out. I'll commission an entire vet with a syrup system into the fucking sink because I
use diet, I need more Diet Coke than I need water anyway. So it should already be set up.
Well, when you collect that $290, you'll, you've got a little head start on that fun, you know.
I'm going to contact McDonald's and get a franchise. I'm going to franchise a McDonald's restaurant
that is localized entirely in my sink. And just get their fresh, it'll call the, be called the
Libertarian McDonald's. The only one in the country. So small, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Gil, Mexican dude in there.
All right, on the lay, let's go.
Switch the kegs out, man.
Switch the kegs.
Tsk.
Tsk.
Uh.
Every single man knows what I'm talking about.
You can see it a little bit of the shopping responsibilities
immediately fucks you.
Immediately.
Um, All right.
Anyway, what time is it?
Let me see if Mumkees here.
Oh, no, Mumke.
My heart is broken.
She's not in another room.
I'm sure.
Yeah, hack the movies wants to plug his stuff real quick.
Hack the movies, what's up, buddy?
Hey, what's up?
Can you hear me?
Yeah, he's sound great.
Oh, I'm mad, Mumkees, not here.
That little motherfucker. Did you talk to him? Yeah, he's sound great. Oh, I'm mad, Mumpki's not here. That little motherfucker.
Did you talk to him?
Yeah, I talked to him a bunch of times.
I tweeted at him to come on and I DMed him in private.
I'll tell you, go ahead.
I got needs a light.
I got needs a light, not needs to be.
Been real sad lately.
I just told him to do the opposite of whatever
a stereo's tells him to do.
Oh. Okay. real sad lately. I just told him to do the opposite of whatever a stereo is tells him to do.
Okay. Anyway, hack the movies just released a Godzilla review. Yeah, you know, I've been hearing you guys talk a lot about Godzilla for some reason. And I'm actually a really big Godzilla fan.
I thought I'd talk about Godzilla real quick. Oh, are you? Yeah, what's your take on Godzilla? I'm not sure if he's telling the truth.
No, no, I actually really do love Godzilla.
The movie is ranged from either being like, you know, really good, it's kind of like
old Star Trek where it tells really good stories, but it has cheesy effects, so you enjoy
it on both levels.
But if you guys are want to get into Godzilla, the channel I work for, Sid and Masker, has
reviewed every single Godzilla
movie, including the new one. Oh, wow. That sounds like something that would be entertaining
doesn't it Sean? A review of every single Godzilla movie. Yeah. That's a good premise.
Yeah. Sure. Yeah. And there's actually James, the head of Sid and Masker, anger video
game nerd. He's reviewed Godzilla games. A lot of Godzilla material. He just did a video
a few weeks ago about Godzilla for beginners.
So if you want to get into the franchise, he comes up with different, like, because there's
like 30 something movies, he picks like five depending on what your tastes are.
So if you want like more serious Godzilla, I'll recommend some.
If you want more silly, plenty of Godzilla content that you can go to and enjoy for hours.
For for days. Or maybe George is on to something. Um, so I'm sorry, I'm sorry, who? Oh, uh, George, I think he's glad that this is a notorious
debtor that owes people money all over town. Okay. I'm not too, I'm not too familiar with that name.
Anyway, I just wanted to plug that. Please watch rental reviews. Yeah, the wardrobe and the latest rental reviews is really great.
I wore my best outfit for it.
Yeah, you want to see it, Sean?
Of course I do.
Okay, let me pull it up.
So this is this is Cinemassacre.
How big is Cinemassacre, Tony?
Big, we're coming up on like three million views.
It's been around for like 10 years.
We started the show.
I plugged it last time back in July last year called rental reviews.
Oh, McCulley Cokin has a cameo in our Godzilla. Okay. I started the show. I plugged it last time back in July last year called Reynolds Reviews.
Oh, McCulley Cokin has a cameo in our Godzilla.
Okay.
We did a review of McCulley Cokin and we shot a bunch of extra stuff with him.
I'm trying to find that you are also I can play it for Sean.
You might have to skip past the ad and everything.
Here we go.
Let's see what he looks like, Sean.
Let's see what Tony from Hack the Movies looks like.
On Godzilla. On a Godzilla, go ahead.
Yeah, that's a skip a couple of minutes in,
because we have like an ad in the intro.
Okay, this is on a giant 3 million subscribers.
Godzilla podcast, essentially.
Like YouTube, go ahead.
It's a movie reviewing show, but we did a Godzilla.
There'll be a plenty of Godzilla content on the site. Okay, a movie reviewing show, but we did a Godzilla. There'll be a plenty of Godzilla content on the site.
Okay.
Huge movie reviewing show talking about the new Godzilla movie, which you know, you know
who is definitely gonna, you know, fame horror that he is.
George Boy is gonna be on top of this, like his mom on a slot machine.
Right?
Here we go.
Here's the wardrobe of this Godzilla movie review.
I feel like nervous. It's an anxious song.
I don't know who this guy is.
The man is here.
Godzilla is going to destroy us all.
There's no big deal.
You see that?
Awesome.
That's a Dixho shirt.
That is a Dixho shirt. That is a dick show shirt.
When Godzilla's power is up, how it was like doing it.
And it sounded like it.
All right, that's all I wanted to say.
I got a lot of shit to do.
We're not going to go in.
You have to say about it.
What bear's post is.
Oh, it's like a 30 minute episode.
That's so much fun.
Well, hang on the phone while we watch.
Yeah, watch the whole thing.
Oh, okay.
I don't want to sit here listening to my voice.
Yeah, you have to.
Yeah, you have to.
No, it's not.
The only way you'll get comfortable with it.
They have like the cheers you talking.
Your remakes of the songs from Aladdin over the weekend
and they were terrible.
It was nice to hear a remake of a song that was actually good.
It was a nice change.
Yeah.
I didn't want to rip my freaking ears out of my head.
Got so it was my go-to song and guitar here.
Okay. A really quick, that's actually my out of my head. Got so it was my go-to song and guitar here. Okay.
Okay, quick, that's actually my rage this week is
men pretending that the new Aladdin movie is good.
It makes me wish.
I can pretend, go ahead.
No, I get pretending that the movie's good
if you're like trying to impress a chick or something.
I've lied about being into a lot of things
to impress women.
Like the feelings.
See, huh. Yeah.
I'm seeing a lot of men go to Twitter talking about how great the new Aladdin movie is,
and I can't figure out why that movie's fucking garbage.
But I don't understand what men have to gain by pretending the movie's good.
The, the remakes, the Disney live action remakes make me wish that I was aborted. I can,
if they could, if every state, I'm serious, man, it would be worth it to overturn Roe
versus Wade. If it meant they would stop with the live action.
Because they're, that's the, that's an extreme method to get rid of Disney. I don't know.
Dude, they look, he's formulating a plan. They look beyond awful. The, I didn't mind, like jungle book too much, but then I saw Beauty and the Beast and I'm like,
why the fuck did they even bother?
Like there's a jungle book had enough different stuff in it, but Beauty and the Beast.
I'm like, this is the same fucking movie, just not as fun.
Same with Aladdin.
I was bored as fucking Aladdin.
I'm like, what is this?
Why did they even bother?
Apparently Disney made a lot of money through ESPN for years, and they're no longer making money through
that. So the idea is that they're buying, they're buying all these franchises and remaking
these movies to like make up for it. So that is true. I do know that ESPN went in the
shitter recently. I just, I don't get why men are pretending to like it like publicly.
I mean, I get pretending on a date, but on Twitter, like, come on, dude, don't get why men are pretending to like it like publicly. I mean, I get pretending on a date
But on Twitter like come on dude. Don't that embarrass yourself. I think society as a whole is just a a continual test to see
What men will pretend to think in order to have sex with women like it the live-action Aladdin movie looks like dog shit
The lion the live-action lion King looks like a complete joke. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looks like a children's production.
Yeah, they really are fucking doing million dollar budgets.
It looks, I have a theory on Lion King.
Go ahead.
They brought James Earl Jones back.
It's the only original cast member they brought back.
I have this theory that Disney wants as much recording of James Earl Jones as possible so they could do Darth Vader for another 300 fucking years.
Oh God, they have him in there doing thrones all day every day.
He does Darth Vader in like a cartoon.
Why would they why would they bring him back and no one else?
It's because they want as much recording of him so they can do Darth Vader forever.
I don't think you're crazy with that.
There's a Darth Vader game on the quest too.
That was the only thing that made me not want to get it.
Is that their number one game is some kind of stupid Darth Vader game.
We got to play around with space swords, slapping dicks with space swords.
Oh, by the way, Sean, the Darth Vader, you mentioned last week.
I did that.
That thing was fucking crazy.
It was cool, right?
Yeah, yeah.
They had a record route one,
but I know now we're talking good about Disney,
but that VR experience was awesome.
Yeah, it was, I mean, I have nothing to compare it to,
because I've never done another one,
but I thought it was great.
What do you talk about?
The Star Wars VR thing that we were talking about,
where you get like, you know, you go down to like a lava fucking planet. You go, you feel the smoke and you feel
the air and the, yeah, I mean, it was really interactive.
They they map the environment to like this obstacle course and you wear these like vest
that shake when you get shot and everything. It's a real immersive. Yeah. Yeah. I was
a 80s girl and we're talking, we're all, well, I guess I was talking about it. I include
her just to make it seem like I'm not a loser.
Uh, I would be cool to like map my house and do like a haunted house.
You know, like, you know how when you're walking around the VR acts, like,
like it knows where you are in the virtual world, but the real physical obstacles,
make it more real, like going down the stairs and shit.
Yeah. Uh, that stuff is, uh, it's incredible. Like mocking that up from, go ahead. but the real physical obstacles make it more real like going down the stairs and shit.
That stuff is, it's incredible. Like mocking that up from, go ahead. I was going to say, by the way, I have like a 360 VR camera and a 180 3D VR camera. I could
always do a 3D VR Dixho episode. Do that would be cool. Whoa. Yeah, come to LA.
Come on out. Come on out.
Come on out.
Get over here.
Get out here.
Tony from Hack the Movies.
What are you doing?
All right, I got to head out now.
Yeah, thanks for representing, buddy.
See ya.
I don't know if you know, probably.
I don't know, George is, but check out our guys' little stuff.
Yes, yes, yes.
Good morning.
Isn't that funny?
Yeah.
How demoralizing would that be?
To look at the new new because you know, like
everybody's talking about it and you're seeing it pop up. You know, fucking that guy.
There he is. Yeah. Fucking stupid face staring back at me. Let's see what Nickman
Rose doing. Hey, Nick, what I'm doing, what I'm doing is trying to wrap my mind around
that Darth Vader theory holy crap that kind of
knocked me off my boat here like wow that's really on point and like could be true. Anyway
I would I am coming from the shadow realm of where all the band people are. I don't have my Twitter
account anymore of 50,000 followers and my banning was not political
in any way.
I didn't get into a fight with Leslie Jones or Ilyann Omar.
I did none of that.
I was minding my own damn business and I was making a JoJo's bizarre adventure thread
where I just watched the damn show.
That was what I was doing on my last day on Twitter.
That's where you messed up.
You got into anime and they had to kick you off the...
So you know, Nick Monroe is, he's a great,
well, he was a great journalist.
He's dead now.
Oh, yeah.
You got deep-period.
I'm dead.
You know when they banned you, you literally died.
Like, that's what they think.
That's what they think.
They think once you get the platform, you're dead.
Why are you a deep-platform?
But it's true.
It is, like it is, basically true.
If you get removed from Twitter, like you have done,
you're fucking dead all over again.
Yeah.
If you don't, whatever you had, when you get killed on Twitter,
that's what you got.
You can't go anywhere else to build it up.
Facebook's a fucking joke. Like the interactivity and the immediacy that is Twitter is is all there is
Okay, so why okay, so what happened?
What happened was like five years ago and I shit you not we're talking like
Avengers endgame levels of time traveler here where we're going back to the past and
five years ago I
posted
During gamer gate something at Randy Harper and Randy Harper was always the
What was the name of your accounts?
Was it like fart based stuff fart to continue? Yeah, I was to continue and I was a part of the
Hey day of gamer gate. Yeah, it was really taken off and whatever and a part of the heyday of Gamma Gate.
It was really taken off and whatever.
And so that meant people wanted to destroy it as much as possible,
so in a Randy Harper.
And she got into a fight with someone named Mike Cernovich.
And she posted her office plaque or whatever,
and it had her address and phone numbers on it.
And like me and my naivety and my lack of wisdom thought pointing out that Randy
ducks themselves would not get me banned and sure enough I got banned.
Wait, and that was recently or that was a long time ago.
2014. No, okay, so you were that was a long time ago. 2014.
No, okay.
So you were dicking around.
How old were you then, by the way?
How old are you now?
I'm like 24 now and I like you're only 24 now.
Yeah, I started this shit when I was 17, man.
Like I made press for it to continue when I was a kid.
Oh my god.
God, I'm being condemned for not knowing
how the internet worked and learning by fucking up.
Okay, no, no, no, no.
I'm not a, I'm not trying to say I'm a good person.
I was someone who was knee deep and shit full of bad
and learned to become better.
This is just like, hold on, let me catch everybody up
before you explain it.
So Nick Monroe is, he's one of the few journalists, I think that there is.
And by that, I mean, he actually does research and then presents the research.
Almost all of journalism is opinion based.
Ever since, you know, ever since what Buckley and Vidal figured out that
airing opinions constantly drives views and you can base entire channels on that. That's
what news has become. There's very, a very small amount of news being done. There is an
overwhelming amount of opinions being generated, which might as well be Markov chains. Like
you could, a computer could create an opinion-based article
with a few inputs based on like three bullet point facts.
But Nick, for example, Nick did the Operation Choke Point
research.
Nick was the guy who actually went back through
and explained why Patreon, PayPal, these giant financial,
not even third parties, but go-betweens and explained why Patreon, PayPal, these giant financial,
not even third parties, but go-betweens from banks to the consumer.
He explained why legally they got fucked with Operation Chokepoint,
which was making combating hate speech,
a criteria of the FDIC.
Like he's the one who found that out and said this is
and explained it, this is why, like it's not,
so that we don't live in a world
that is just constantly one layer of shitty fix
on top of the other, like you don't just always repaint.
This is not, we don't have to treat America
like an apartment, like our first apartment.
We get sanded down to the wood
and then put a nice coat of paint on.
We just don't need, we don't need to go through
every six months and paint over the hinges
with another layer, paint over the screws,
ah fuck the screw, paint them all,
like we don't need to do that.
And, Nick did a great job of uncovering that stuff
as a journalist recently banned from twit.
Like you were actually gaining some momentum too, which makes it very sad.
Yeah, like I don't know, like people are sending their condolences like I died, like I'm
watching my own funeral.
Yeah.
And that motherfucker Will Summer over at the Daily daily beast said I tried to reinvent myself and that
I was a fervent pizza gate supporter.
There are more tweets from will summer saying I was a pizza gate supporter than me having
tweets about pizza gate.
That's how bad it is.
And that's part of the smear campaign I got from the people over in, you know, left the
far left, you know, journals fear. Yeah.
Who, by the way, we're attacking Dave Rubin and Stephen Crowder
recently. And like, I love that Dave Rubin posted that that he's
seen a lot of people telling him to go fuck himself. And Twitter,
will you please do something about that? It's because it's
obviously coordinated. If there's one thing I know about being told to go fuck yourself, is that complaining
about it's going to get a whole lot more.
That's right.
It just seems like, go ahead.
I'm sorry, like I'm, you know, wrestling my feelings about this and I've come to the
conclusion, I have a right to be mad because there's, like, you can't point to something
wrong. I did like, I've removed myself and I have reinvented myself entirely from the person I
was.
No, you're that guy.
Yeah, you're that guy forever.
No, no, not even sarcastically.
No, I'm willing to stand my fucking ground even and you know Sarcasm here
Yeah, the pizza gate pizza gate is obviously real. I mean
Now you're gonna get a map. I know go ahead. I won't fuck with it
Why would a guy come into a pizza place and just shoot one hard drive Sean? That's all I want to know
Does it make sense done that up?
But like I don't I'm trying to like I'm gonna assume that someone from Twitter
who works at Twitter will be watching this you know one day or something and
so my case is this I was not someone who just did politics all the time like I
had a movie threads where I just set setback relaxed and enjoyed myself with my
damn internet community and we watched movies together and they told me trivia and we had fun.
Like I made it like a life thing, you know, I just did Twitter and which was probably my
mistake, you know, in retrospect, just doing Twitter not, you know, going to YouTube or other
places. But like I told you I told you to get a new project too too. Is that know, going to YouTube or other places, but like, I told you, I told you to get
on new project to two. He said they're going to come for your PayPal too, buddy. You got
a diversify.
I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm taking it one day at a time and I'll be like a true
alcoholic. Dick just like he just got full on kicked in the nuts and then dick just kicked him in the shin
I told you that's the only way to stop pain though. You have to
Yeah, okay, pain in other areas somewhere. Yeah, I learned that
I like the like the pain
So like I'm on telegram now and somehow like you've seen Thor Vagnarok, right? Yeah, mm-hmm
Okay, so yeah, I'm like, you've seen Thor Vagnarok, right? Yeah.
Okay, so yeah, I'm like, you know, I ask guard,
my ask guard, home world has blown up,
and I'm on a ship full of the refugees.
And LGBTQ, so he's allowed to talk like this.
Asgard?
Yeah.
Neated an ask guard.
Twitter came for it.
So telegram is your,
telegram is your fortress of solitude for the DC people.
Yeah, and like anyway, so telegram is supportive
and I've already got contacts with their staff
and stuff like that, so it's secure.
Like, whatever happens, like I'm gonna try every last thing
I can think of to get my account back.
And I have, I'm on like plan C, or B or C right now.
And I'm all the way down to plan Z if necessary.
Like I have things planned out that far
and I'm willing to just go through the process.
And I'm trying to get in touch with the powers
that be at Twitter and explain the situation.
And if they look at the nitty-gritty of it, I'm confident that they'll see it.
Like, they'll see this as bullshit.
And the fact that, like, someone who distanced themselves from their former identity after
three and a half years, like, that's something that could be exploited.
This could happen to anyone.
You could frame someone for being a troll and get Twitter to take down to our account if
you wanted to.
That's the worrying precedent that's being set here.
We live in a world where a NASCAR driver's father in the 80s said some racist things and there was actually people speculating
on whether he should lose his ride or not.
The sun, this fucking happened.
It seems to me that we live in a world where Maddox's dad lost his hearing in Korea and
Maddox has to sacrifice for it.
Yes.
That's the world that we live in. But it seems to me that with regard to Twitter and just on online personality, it seems
like you're executed the day you're born.
They just don't tell you when.
Yeah.
I think all of your evidence about having a good time with it and like doing movies and stuff
and making it a life thing.
That's, I think that's more evidence to your banning
because that's the last thing they want is,
is journalists and right-leaning people
to look like they're having a good time.
You need us to be not just.
I actually have kind of something I want to reveal here
on your show.
Oh, that's your it.
Okay, so when all this shit was going down, they said they would read in state.
Like they tried to boot me off and like I had a backup account and they booted that
too.
So like they sent me an email and Twitter said we will read in state one of your accounts.
And yeah, I have basically a I did out a jail free card.
So if it's gross.
So what are you complaining about?
No, they never delivered on their promise.
They closed the support case.
And I still have the emails and everything.
And so like, then is, I mean, that elevates my situation just from being, you know, unique to just
mother fucking extraordinary because nobody in, you know, any part of recent history has
ever gotten a get out jail free card from Twitter like that.
I got, I got an email from Twitter saying if I sent them a picture of my penis, they
would undelete my account.
And I did. But I book, they never got, they never undeleted my account. I don't
know. I've said, I said a couple. I was like, was that not good enough? I took another
angle. I made sure to get my face in there. Are you sure it went through? I don't know.
I'll send one again after the show. Do that. Make sure you didn't, I'll make sure something
didn't end up in your spam. They might not know what's happening. So I'll put my driver's license in this one.
So they know it's my identity.
So I've been junk on your driver's license
and have your junk block out any like,
you know, incriminating information
or identifying it.
And redacted with your tool.
Yeah, I think it'll be,
I've clearly, it's so clear to me that they just need to,
that's whoever, Trump or, I doubt Congress will ever do it,
but needs to undo the section of the DMCA
that prevents companies from getting sued
because of their moderation decisions.
Like the lawsuit, the lawsuit,
the court system specifically,
lawsuits based on, you based on loss and harm and tort
is what makes our country livable and workable.
Like it always has that you can sue somebody
for this shit is so integral to the system.
I think it's more important than anyway.
They gotta get rid of it.
You can't just do something.
It's a community.
You want another real tragedy?
What was raising money to go on vacation.
It's not that.
I was also raising money to go to a,
like my best friend's wedding.
Like,
Oh, they did you a service there.
Now you don't have to go.
Right, was it a destination wedding?
Oh, yeah, I was gonna go to like, you know,
over in Europe or something, you know, like, yeah. Oh God
I this is all good. Yeah, it seems they saved you a wedding. Yeah
This is someone I've known for like years
Britney petty bone and like still weird Martin's not even allowed in the United States
I mean, I saw that one too. You're talking about Brittany Petty-Bone. She's the,
she won't, they won't let her husband in or fiance in because he's a Nazi or something
like that. No, because the Christ Church should have donated to like, yeah. And like the Austrian,
Austrian government basically had a stroke when they find out, you know, all that and it caused
such an international backlash. So like, yeah, going to this wedding was like going to be like a victory for me, like in them, you know, like...
Yeah?
Come on, they got you.
How much trouble you can get in online.
How much trouble you can get in fucking around on the internet.
It's crazy.
Taking money from the wrong people.
Oh, yeah.
Here's another fact. How come I never get any money from
from mass shooters? No. What the hell? Well, you guys are doing a mass shooting just buy
a bunch of merch. There's a potentials out there. Like you know, you know you're doing
suicide by cops. Just charge it up, man. What the hell? If you don't even have to pay for it.
You charge up like 10 grand on the credit card and then you go do your mass shooting, I get the money you don't have to pay for it. The next of kids gonna say, oh, you know, fuck what are they gonna do?
Rico that money back? Yeah, from me. Come on.
Don't be too busy sorting through all the carnage.
There's one thing I'm not calling the show.
I know. And then media matters is gonna take this clip and snip it and use it to crucify me
in one day.
Um, yeah, man.
Well, you're only 24.
I think you got a long life of being crucified if I'm honest.
Well, if I'm only 24, you got to, it's pretty kick ass that I had Donald Trump Jr. Jordan
Peterson and Poodie Pie all following me at like the same time.
Oh God.
It hurts.
It hurts me right in my wallet right behind the walls.
And well, like what I'm, you know, so the Daily Beast put out of that story today or
yesterday about the guy who they allege that made some sort of video about a drunk Nancy Pelosi or whatever.
And like they docks the shit out of this dude. And you know, this dude is making his case on Twitter
and is saying like this daily beast writer or whatever who did the story is lying.
And ever said that this Pelosi video made me a thousand bucks.
You know, he pulled that out of his desk.
He's saying stuff like this.
And when I saw that, it hurt.
Like, I didn't realize until I saw that,
how much I just fucking love helping people.
Like, you know, just, hey, going out of my way
to just reach out and make sure their side
of the story got heard like
It goes a long way for something that seems so simple
Yeah, and for and for that. I thank you for letting me just be on your show today because like I need all the chances to
Vent that I can get because fuck. I know man. I know I know how it feels and you were you lost a hell of a lot more than
I ever have online.
And it's, it's socks.
There's no, I don't know.
I know Nick, Nick Rackett's got his account back,
but I've never seen anybody else deal with.
He got banned.
He did it one time.
Temporary.
Yeah, he's suspended and they brought him back.
How do you get back?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, lawyer magic.
Well, you got enough lawyers together to do a little say-ons.
They all stood together and touched their penis tips together.
Brought forth some big, big beasts that stocked up to Sacramento.
The big gay.
Yeah, a giant, giant lawyer, Godzilla.
All right, man.
Good luck on, good luck on Telegram.
Isn't that where all the fur furries were having sex with animals
the same
that
that that that was this court that that was this court no that was
telegram with a zoo satis squad the zoo the zoo crew
that was telegram
oh i thought we were talking about the cup porn
no no no cup points fine the actual okay having sex with animals was on
telegram what was on telegram
what is your telegram
uh... it's still nickman eleven twelve t dot me slash nickman eleven twelve and
i'm also on gab which is a you know place where you can't load shit
yet ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If you're listening to this and your turn by feel see this fiction, yeah, I want to use it
All right, does anything unrelated make you a rage
unrelated to your Twitter ban No, man like yeah, I don't know like
Climate change yeah, I don't know
All right, I got nothing
He's spent he spent
You got to take that vacationanned. I love you.
You got to take that vacation, man.
I do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right. Press fort to continue.
Was that?
Nick, but I'm now double.
I have two identities now.
I'm like a Dexter Morgan.
You know, I'm Nick Monroe during the day and at night, I'm, you know, some sort of serial
killer named Press fort.
Start a publication and then open a Twitter account for that.
Like, you gotta get around it.
You gotta get back on.
Plan, let's like plan L or plan M.
That's plan double D. Do it soon.
Well, your hot. Get them to tweet about it.
But yeah, start a publication.
I'll, hell, start, let somebody else start it.
Then you just tweet them what you wanna tweet. You gotta be back on though. though nobody's use as much as I hate to say it nobody's using the other shit
Yeah, but like
You know what that man says as a man, you know
Mortal or something like that, but as you know the bad man. I'm a symbol to people. Yeah, that's shit for kids though
You got to you got to just do what I say to do
That's for kids though. You gotta, you gotta just do what I say to do. That's for it, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love what you do
and I love all your stuff, man, I hope it works out.
I'm not giving up, like, I know.
If I build that people will come.
I agree with you.
And then I feel the dreams moment, man.
Do it.
All right, Nick, get out of here.
Go finish.
Finish JoJo.
Okay.
Bye guys.
Bye, bye, bye, bye.
Baseball Ray.
Baseball.
No, mom, he.
That's a shame.
That is a shame.
I'm going to read some advice.
Oh, aren't we going gonna talk about Christina Falso?
Okay, let's talk about Christina Falso.
I also told Chris the Kiwi to call in.
Oh, again?
Well, I don't know about two weeks in a row.
Two weeks in a row would be tough.
Well, I wanted to tell them about Christina Falso.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Does he just email you incessantly?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Saying, I want to come on and.
And I'm never calling in again.
And lay in to you.
Yeah.
I'll ask him if he's there.
Last message he sent.
I don't need to say, I don't want to call in any
podcast anymore because it's very unhealthy and you're trying to sabotage anything good
for me. This will be my last contact with you. Tell Christina to check her messages. So
it's all right. What's what's Christina? I got another email. Okay. Now he's not calling
any into any more podcast. Okay, that's good. That's very good.
Okay, here's another email I got called Cat Fishing the Retarded.
I know this person too.
A dickhead on the Dixiel Facebook group had the idea to gender swap a picture of Christ
the Kiwi and Cat Fishing with it.
So I thought it would be funny.
I made it so blindingly obvious,
but apparently he's stupider than I thought. And here's the profile. It's Christina falsa.
This is, you have to understand something. The women of the group, when they get told
to shove wire brushes in their fanny, which is Australian for pussy, they don't take
it as, they don't, they take it a little harder than we do, right?
Constantly being harassed.
When a guy goes through three years of your pictures
and then comments on them incessantly
telling you to take a wire brush up your snatch
or whatever else, they tend to not just take that lying down
as a man might look at, they go,
oh, that's funny.
Oh yeah, you're gonna to kick my ass, whatever.
They have women have their own ways of dealing with things.
And this is one of them.
Here is a picture of Christina Falsow, which is the gender swapped version of Chris the
Kiwi.
I'm going to put that up on screen.
Got us that profoundly disturbing. Hahaha. Oh. Hahaha.
Oh, that was not the way I wanted to see that.
Hahaha.
Because I refused to even look at it.
People were doing it at the shop and stuff and I was like, no, I'm not fucking doing that.
I'm not looking at it.
And this is my introduction to it.
That's right.
Oh, happy days.
Okay.
Here's so everybody at home can see. Happy days. Okay.
Here's so everybody at home can see.
It's Christy Apple.
So,
so the chicken.
Now, if you'll notice, it still has the face app.
Watermark on it, which is what gets put on
when you get face swapped.
So there's the, right, there's the tip off right there.
And if you'll also notice, it is the exact same profile picture as Chris the Kiwi's profile.
Same angle. Same look. Not crap at all. He says you're sabotaging.
I'm deleting myself off TDS. You're sabotaging my progress and you're making a joke out of it.
Yeah. Well, here's the joke that we're making today. So she has, here's picture one,
there's picture to what I'm Christine Falsow.
I don't even know what to say.
Hundreds of messages.
Hundreds of messages.
He sent, the real Chris has sent his feminized
doppelganger.
I wanted to break the news for him and, you know,
to tell him to be wary of people.
Does she write back?
Every once in a while, just like enough, you know,
not really that much though.
She found out some information about his court.
Okay, so it's still ongoing.
Stuff like that.
I just, oh my god. Oh
My god
Let me see if I can find his profile
Or maybe he shut it down
That's probably for the best
Yeah, I think he has shut it down. I don't need to read any other chats. I was gonna ask him if I could pay him to read him,
but, you know, he's gonna call in that's good.
He should take a break from the internet, I think.
Yeah.
You wanna see Christina Falsow again?
That's incredible.
There she is.
I mean, you got a gender-swabbed version of yourself hitting on you or saying hi or whatever.
I mean, what? That is elite level.
Throw it, isn't it? I mean, that's...
That's Lungater!
This is your own profile picture.
It's your own picture with hair and eyeshadow and smooth skin.
Here's the image that it was done from.
Okay, here's here's here's here's Christy Kiwi.
Do you see the pose? Yes, I do. Okay. And then here's Chris. No, here's Chris the keyway.
Do you see the pose?
Yes, I do.
Okay, and then here's Christina Falso.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Chris.
Christina Falso.
Oh, boy.
All right, all right, that's enough.
Well, hopefully he doesn't call in again.
Yeah.
Because so many people say they stop listening to the show.
Really?
Yeah.
Bootyman from Australia says he hasn't listened in months
because we talk to him every week.
Oh no, we don't.
Look, people are very, they take it very seriously.
We barely talk to him.
I'll play a song.
That's a nice break.
We barely talk to him. I'll play a song. That's a nice break.
Uh-huh.
This is...
Save State Corrupted...
With ISC.
I don't know what that might stand for, but...
Here it is.
Who's gonna make a song based on that ISA Cox poll? I feel like a king.
That's the craziest.
That happens.
I feel like a king.
That's the craziest.
That happens.
That's the craziest. That's the craziest. That's the craziest. That's the craziest. Guys, the Cox! God, I feel like a I feel like a king
Decrease, that happens
I suck, Cox
You do it, dammit!
Dammit!
I suck, Cox
God damn double-edged sword!
With great power, that's not good! Great responsibility!
It's a Cox!
It's funny now!
Now, yeah.
hilarious.
LGBT!
Months!
This is how we're celebrating LGBT Month!
Guys, the Cox!
Yeah, still funny!
Wait, GBT!
We can't be celebrating L.
Yeah, maybe just GB.
We're celebrating.
Okay, just buy, you're definitely second packs if you buy.
No, not funny, not funny anymore. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I suck. I said Cox, you want to hear some more games, two answers.
Yes, but I want to hit the bathroom really.
Go to the bathroom first.
Okay.
Here's the war game answers that we got.
You know, my fantastic game of asking mom, wife or girlfriend when these five wars
happen, their American revolution, civil war, war, one war or two in Vietnam, always
everyone's a winner in this game.
Oh, yeah.
TDS Fox is revolutionary war.
He asked his girlfriend, I think, revolutionary war.
1924.
Wow.
Such a specific date, Civil War, 1845.
Okay, exactly correct.
More or less. Okay, you're close, yeah. I Okay, exactly correct. More or less.
Okay, okay, you're close, yeah.
I'll give you 20 years on either side.
No, no, no, it's, yeah.
World War One, 1860.
World War Two, 1864.
Wow.
You know, those, and then we had the American Revolution.
Then we had the American Revolution then we had the American Revolution in
1924 after that. Yeah. Vietnam war 1912. So Civil War, World War One, World War Two. Vietnam
1912 right before the roaring 20s. Yeah, so we finally, we finally have the revolution. Yeah.
That we've been fighting all this time in 24. Yeah, after Vietnam, we thought that's it
Yeah, America has got to be its own independent country. Yes. I
That you will not tread on me. Yep
This is the that was the roaring 20s for us. So that was when they made alcohol illegal
America said that's it. We're our own country, right? We're not being told what, we're not being told liquor is illegal anymore.
No, not by big liquor.
Ask my mom born in 1973,
Revolutionary War, 1776,
I'm pretty good.
Civil War, 1776.
Oh, wait, what?
That's gotta be a mistake, right?
Nope.
She realized a mistake had been made.
Uh huh, there you go. Didn't know how to mistake had been made. Uh-huh. There you go.
Didn't know how to fix it. World War One 1942. World War Two 1942. You'll see this sometimes. World War One and two. And two happened at the same time. Really? Yeah. Like,
Voyager One and Voyager Two shot out at pretty much the same. World War One and World War Two
is pretty much the same. Pretty happened at pretty much the same time. I don't know if you knew that.
who's pretty much the same. Pretty much the same time, I don't know if you knew that.
Vietnam War 1973.
Okay, we were basically all,
I think all the last kind of troops were coming out around.
But she is interesting to note
that she guessed the year she was born on that.
So possible no actual knowledge going into it,
just playing it safe.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Derek asked, Derek, when I asked my wife, 36D about the wars.
This was her answer.
Revolutionary war, 1735.
I'll give you that.
Civil war, 1817.
I'll give you that too.
Too early.
World war.
Yeah.
World war one.
As the game goes, leniency grows.
Yes.
World War One, 1901.
I'll give you that one.
Yeah, not horrible.
World War Two, 1945.
Okay.
You know what?
I'll give you that.
We're going to have the first dead end in 1945.
This might be the first finisher.
All right.
Yeah.
This is going to be a first.
Vietnam 2000. Oh, dear.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You remember?
Oh, no.
Everyone was all upset about why 2K and Vietnam.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Everyone was afraid to remember that.
George W. Bush would escalate Vietnam. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you remember? Oh
God
The nine form turtis thinking of the Iraq war to which she replied that's not the same that's not the same place question mark. Oh no
Nope
See you want to hear more of these? Oh, I've caught more than anything. Okay. Shark strap says, he asked his mom and his sister,
a revolutionary war, mom, 1840 or 1482.
Oh, okay.
10 years before Columbus.
1482, yeah.
That's why Columbus left.
He was trying to set up America in Spain.
Set a fuck this. I was trying to set up America in Spain. Set a fuck this.
I'm gonna go set up America.
So we had a war in Spain about America.
And he got his ass kicked out of Spain.
Oh God.
Go over there Columbus.
If you love America so much,
why don't you go found it on the other side of the earth
and set fire.
Fuck you, I will.
Then he set sail of 1492.
Yeah.
With our founding fathers,
the Nina Pinta and the Santa Maria.
The Civil War, 1780, mom says, closer.
I mean, she shorted up the distance pretty fast.
Sister says 1900.
Uh-oh.
Not a lot of room left.
That's my favorite part of the game is not a lot of, like, you write too far and I
like I squeeze all the shit in on the margin over here. That's my favorite part of the game is not a lot of, like you write too far and I, I got squeezed out the shit in on the margin over here.
That's right.
World War One 1860 from mom.
Okay, World War One, yeah.
World War Two mom realizes she screwed up and gets angry
because I'm laughing at her.
Sister says 1950.
Vietnam was a sore point since neither knew who fought.
They seem to think we invaded Vietnam
and fought the Vietnamese. That's kind of true.
Neither could explain why or could tell me who won or when. All right.
So nobody likes a quitter. They never they didn't even give years. No.
You'll find that that happens on occasion with this game. Right.
You see if I can find another good one. Oh, here. Here's last one. Last one. Okay. This is from Seth.
You see if I can find another good one. Oh, here's last one, last one.
Okay, this is from Seth.
I thought this was funny, so I'm sharing.
My girlfriend didn't want to play.
The Wendt of these wars happened game,
but I still got some great answers at her.
She thought the Civil War ended in 1960
because that's when they ended slavery.
Okay, with Martin Luther King and shit, right?
Yeah. She also thought Vietnam ended in 2014. with Martin Luther King and shit, right? Oh, yeah.
She also thought Vietnam ended in 2014
because that's when Obama pulled all the troops out of Vietnam.
I didn't expect to get accurate dates
but I didn't expect her to tell me that Obama
ended the Vietnam war.
She just graduated this month with a bachelor's in biology. She
has a science degree, but thought the Vietnam War ended five years ago. How is this possible?
Yeah, all the chicks answers for this game is the kind of shit that makes me second-guess
my plans of starting a family one day. Anyway, go fuck yourself. There you go. There you
go. Did she give answers to the other wars? And he said she wouldn't play the other games. 1960. Yeah. We ended slavery. That's what Martin
Luther King did. You remember when he was up there in a suit saying, I have a dream, his dream
was the end of slavery. Yeah. What are we even talking about? How does someone like that process information?
I don't know.
I will never.
What is everything?
Obama ended the Vietnam War?
What are you thinking?
What are you talking about?
What have you been, what show have you been watching?
You showed up to Butt Club after having watched the movie.
Where have you, what have you been doing this whole time?
Somebody did write
in with reflections of the Vietnam War in 1993 to 1997. It was February. You want to hear it?
It was February 26th, 1994. The day Bill Hicks died when I was shipped out to Denang to the denang
airbase to fight the Vietnamese on their home soil. This was 1994. We were all just boys really dressed in
plaid shirts and roomy cargo pants that sagged halfway down our butts. I love this already.
Our exposed ass cracks reflected the cracks in the American dream. Many of us has walked
straight out of West Beverly Hills High School in 90210
into the nearest Army recruitment office.
Remember that very special 90210 episode
and Dylan had to go to Vietnam?
The Vietnamese were flooding the international market
with cheap, healthy rice cakes.
And it was making the US look bad.
Uncle Sam needed willing young men to go over there
and make the case for freedom price.
A lot of people say the war had nothing to do with rice.
It was about the Vietnamese language film, the scent of green papaya, threatening Hollywood's
stranglehood on global culture.
Maybe they were right.
I mean, it did go on to win the best foreign language film at the Academy Awards, but it
wasn't really worth fighting over.
I met this guy out there called Sean who was in charge of tuning the artillery.
He claimed the war was just a reenactment. And the real Vietnam had ended in 1975. Everyone said
I was crazy. I guess that's why we called him crazy Sean. The week before I left the
U.S., I took my girlfriend, Brenda Walsh, to see Ace Ventura, a pet detective, at the
drive-in. After the movie, I complimented her on her shoes and we made love for the
first time. She said she would wait for me.
But after about a month later, she was hooking up with Luke Perry.
I was making inroads into a defensive line of hookers that separated the vanguard of
the American and Vietnamese forces.
And her breakup letter to me, Brenda said that her friend's mother told her that the Vietnam
war had been fought in 2007, 13 years in the future.
Need more references here.
My first day in Vietnam remains etched on my memory.
A silver B-52 bomber decorated with a painting of Courtney Love.
But...
Clad in an egglige, flew low overhead, blasting the best of Kenny G.
As it dropped an A-pom on the trees. Sergeant Cobain was talking about how he loved the smell of teen spirit in the morning.
Oh, God.
The reflection of the flames danced in his eyes like an angry tide.
It went crazy and transferred back home where he assassinated President Kennedy at the
Torrey Amos concert.
The enemy were close by, I guess, hiding out in the jungle.
At night, we would hear them playing the first Oasis album.
The plotting mid tempo tracks drove some of our main men insane.
Yeah, they do.
When Sergeant Lane Steely ran to the wire, screaming at them to play some slayer,
they snatched him up.
He spent the next five years tied to an upright, upright wooden chair.
He wrote a song describing his emotional state during the ordeal that he called angry chair.
In retaliation, we snatched one of the enemy.
We played him, shellax at Action Park album,
full volume until he died from cardiac arrest.
We had started finding propaganda attached to the bodies of our dead.
One leaflet stated that Brett Anderson, who was the lead singer of a British band called The Swade,
was claimed to be a bisexual man who had never had a homosexual experience. I thought back to the time I'd seen Anderson shimmying on stage in a silk shirt,
campily spanking himself with a microphone, and I knew that he could never descend to such an
idiotic level of self-parody. We lost the war, but I made it home in one piece. My mother asked
me what it was like. I told her you weren't there, mom. I know I wasn't there. That's why I'm asking
you, she replied. I went to my room, slammed the door shut and cranked up,
super unknown by Soundgarten on the soundtrack.
It came out the same week as the Beatles album.
1997 was a good year for music.
That's true.
Very true.
Pretty touching.
I mean, it'd be rough story from the front lines of Vietnam.
Yeah.
I got some advice.
I got a bunch of voicemails.
Oh God, there's a guy who's getting blackmailed by a tender date too that I wanted to talk to.
Here's Time Wasted.
Zach, we'll say Zach, Zach, Zach, Peter Dick.
I'm a rising senior at a state school in Georgia, KSU, majoring in mechanical engineering.
I'm a guard, it's and weak-willed person.
Whoa, for the past seven plus years, I have isolated myself from the world except a few
brief periods of unsatisfying social interaction. No.
And the occasional family gathering, I spend my days either studying, going to class,
working out, or lying on the couch with my laptop in my apartment.
I live alone.
I've never spoken to anyone about this,
but you're ranked at the end of episode 152
about the sobering reality of college,
finally inspired me to reach out for help.
I've been contemplating suicide since the beginning
of the year.
That's all.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I had previously I had
I forget to go the year all I shit what is that five months
I
I mean that's that's funny good for you that's that's a funny joke
I have been contemplating suicides in the beginning of the year I
funny joke. I've been contemplating suicides since the beginning of the year.
I had previously even, I had previously been even worse, but the wisdom shared by you and other internet figures like Sam Hyde, Scott Adams and Stefan Molenu has given me a modicum of direction
my life. This wisdom seeking was precipitated by a few minor drug-related panic attacks,
weed and shrooms once.
Oh yeah, if you overdue weed your first couple times, you're ruined on that drug for life.
I have never had passion for anything
nor any mentors or role models to guide me.
My parents got divorced when I was 11.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Then my dad is a typical boomer chiropractor the worst kind.
Hmm.
That chiropractor is or it's all bullshit right?
Man, there's no discolining on your fucking spine.
Well, I don't what are you kidding me?
I don't know that even if they do that, I don't know that they like stay there.
You know what I mean?
Like I don't I don't think you can fuck around with your spine.
I I don't know man. Like I mean, it seems like think you can fuck around with your spine. I don't know, man.
I mean, it seems like acupuncture to me.
There can go in quacks and then there's some people
just swear by them.
I like people, you know what I mean?
I swear by God too.
I know, I know, I know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
Well, I didn't have a problem with it
until I saw people doing chiropractor shit on babies. Yeah, okay. I fucking now
I'm a hundred percent sure it's a scam fuck you guys. Yeah, I mean I
You'd have to think it is. I don't know. I've never been to one me either
I know and I know guy like guys swear by it, but it just seems like total bullsh it. Oh look at me crack crack
Yeah, I mean I've aligned my fucking fingers again.
I don't know what it, exactly what it's supposed to,
it's supposed to, right, put you back in alignment.
So everything is,
that's not real.
There's no way your spine goes out of alignment.
Well, it's, I mean, aside from,
that's when you die.
Scully, that's called,
sorry, oh, oh, back. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, but I mean like, it's not like a, it's, I mean, aside from... That's when you die. Scully, that's called breaking it back.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, but I mean, like, it's not like a, it's, that's not how that...
You got spine works.
Yeah, you've got discs in between.
Like, what can they relief, are they supposed to be relieving pressure on discs or something
like that?
I don't know.
And besides, why would it stay like that?
Yeah, that's what, you know.
It's not Legos.
Like, you can't, yeah. It's not a Jenga game. Yeah. that's what, you know. It's not Legos, like you can't,
it's not a Jenga game.
You can't just puzzle it.
It's a way and back and oh, now, yeah,
you're, now you're tits up, buddy.
Get out there and take on the world.
Yeah, I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't.
I don't want to say it because I know so many people
who swear by it and I feel like it kind of hurts
their feelings to say, yeah, that's a huge game, man.
It's just seems like a giant fucking scam to me.
I'm almost curious to do it.
I get that people like getting massaged
and it feels good to crack your joints.
Like I crack my neck seven times a day.
Greenpeace shows up.
Yeah.
My dad is a typical boomer chiropractor.
We all know instantly.
We all know.
Yep.
He's always trying to get his mitts on girls too typical boom. Oh here comes dad
Oh, hey, you got a new girl. Let me let me see. Let me get those magic hand you should come into the you got to come into the shop
Right, I'll work you. I'll fix you right up. Yep. Hey, could you stop fucking selling your chiropractic shit for 10 minutes?
The past couple years I have started building basic habits like working out 510 went from 120 to 170, bench
to 25.
All right, studying 3.2 GPA.
Compared to my younger self, I am much improved, but compared to my peers, I am lacking
something.
Passion.
You'll all, yeah, but you'll power.
Oh, yeah.
Some people are more driven at, uh, maybe he's a furry.
Maybe that's what he's going to try it out.
He's got an LGBT month.
Everyone should just swap.
You try being gay for a month, see how it works out.
So T or T or T for a month.
Yeah, or T for a month.
Right. Women try the B. Give it a shot.
Give it a shot or you're not an ally.
The way I. The way I
give it a shot. The way I see it.
Something on this one. Just seems like the G's and the B's should have the
it seems like they should all have their own thing right or maybe not. I
don't know. I don't know, man. The way I see it. I don't have any passion for
anything. Yeah. I mean there's's that's, I don't know, passion.
Passion's rough. Yeah, maybe it's a strong, maybe it's a strong word.
Maybe maybe a lot of people don't have a passion for, for anything,
but I mean, he's got to have interest or things that he likes doing, right?
That he, I don't know. The way I see it, I'm going to graduate in a year with no
work really. Well, you know what? I'll read it first. You know, it's like, why, I don't know why school or college.
He's in college.
The way I see it, I'm going to graduate in a year
with no work experience or any extracurricular projects
except a couple of odd jobs
and useless civil engineering freshman internship.
I have been inert for so long
and the reality of my impending situation
is slowly whittling away my hope of becoming a successful engineer.
Mollinou said something like the longer you're inert, the harder it is to start building.
Again, I think the hedonistic lifestyle I've lived so far has severely crippled my ability
to function as a productive...
Wait, hedonistic?
I know.
Yeah, I don't know what was hedonistic about sitting on the couch.
Probably wrong word.
People use wrong word all the time.
After having gone on a few interviews, this was confirmed.
I knew I had no value to them except my youth.
So I'm stuck.
I have wasted so much time.
I don't know where to direct my energy.
I don't know how.
I really don't know what I expect you to tell me.
I don't feel like an engineer.
You're probably not. I don't think I've learned anything useful. I really don't know what I expect you to tell me. I don't feel like an engineer.
You probably not.
I don't think I've learned anything useful.
You probably haven't.
I haven't lost any money because my tuition
and rent is paid for by the government,
but the time wasted, huh, you're welcome.
But the time wasted is upsetting.
I thought of switching to an electrician,
something more simple with a straightforward career path.
So do it!
Do it!
I wish there was an engineering vocational school
that translated to the real world.
The most important thing to a man is his career.
Everything else in life builds from that.
I'd rather kill myself than be a failure.
Sorry for the bummer.
I'm grasping at anything to change my predicament
or my brain chemistry.
Hopefully this wasn't an undesirable mess.
I'm not used to being honest.
Anything that pops into your head would help love the show. Zach, this is so fucking common.
Yeah. Well, it's the thing like I've wasted all this time. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,'t get that, it's like, you can't do anything about it. You're, he's still very young.
All I have ever wanted to do is play the banjo,
my whole life, look, all this fucking time.
I've wasted 38 years not pursuing the only thing
that I have ever loved in my life,
which is annoying banjo music.
So I don't wanna start now.
I'm telling you, I'm telling you.
Yeah.
It's all wasted all the time.
Every single second, it's all, there's no,
there's no pulling meaning from any of it.
It's all wasted, all of it.
Every single fucking second, it is,
this is brainwashing that you get in,
this is your parents, your boomer parents,
brainwashing you into thinking that you're grinding for a
final boss battle that does not exist. It's all wasted time. Every single
fucking second of it. This and the passion, the passion project, find your love
that this passion meme that got drilled down all of our throats is a boomer meme that they tell themselves to survive.
This was their suicidal prevention measures.
Passion, do something you love,
then you never work a day and you're like,
they had to tell us that,
so they had to drill it in our brains
so that they did not feel like they wasted all of their time
which they did, Which they did.
There is no such thing.
Nobody gets, you don't get passion for music and then sit there sounding like absolute shit
for 10, for five years or for two years.
However long you dedicate yourself to it before you can passively play in front of a woman.
It's not passion that drives that.
It's dedication. It's
Discipline. That's what you need. You don't need passion for being employable. You need a discipline
You don't need to welcome every day like it's a gift from God that you and you can't like a fucking smurf
I can't wait to fulfill my destiny of making little exploding boxes today.
Cause every day is a gift from God.
You get up, you get out of bed, and you get out the fuck, and you do, you work the fucking
plan.
Little exploding boxes.
Jokey.
Yeah.
You think Jokey liked, you think Jokey smurf loves every box that he made?
No.
But it was his job.
So he got out of bed and smurfed it anyway.
Yeah, I think this goes to a bigger.
It's very good.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
That was notable.
That was audible at the last minute.
Yeah, I could get that in there.
That was good.
Excellent.
I think this just goes, he's right in that it does start with the job and the career.
Like your whole, your whole, just your self worth,
all that kind of stuff.
Nothing's right if a guy doesn't feel like he's progressing,
like he's problem solving, like he's productive.
Guys, guys can't get meaning out of life on Instagram.
We can't do it.
No, doesn't work like that for us.
But it's like, so I think the first thing he's maybe gotta do is,
is maybe divorce himself from the idea that his,
that his job has to be him or that he has to be his job.
You just have to do it.
You just have to do something and do what you,
figure out something else.
You gotta like something.
Make that, make that a part,
but don't make your living that way necessarily. Like it's, like, I'm not gonna like something, make that, make that a part, but don't make your living that way,
necessarily, like it's, like, I'm lucky.
I actually really like what I do.
You're not lucky, you're also 40.
This is, I mean, this is not an answerable question
for a 20-year-old.
No, that's true, I guess.
It's done a lot of things.
You were at a praise and treat and show up.
I'm so passionate about appraising fucking houses.
You're right, right?
I worked in film marketing for five and a half years
and I fucking detested it.
I hated it.
Yeah, no, you're right.
But you gotta do it.
You're right.
You gotta unbrain watch yourself
because you got sold a bill of goods.
Your parents got sold a bill of goods
on college that is not true. That's not
true. It's the passion thing. Yeah, it comes up a lot. Why don't I have a passion to do
anything? So what? Yeah, you got to go, you got to do something, man. Yes, yes, yes,
yes, do something. Yeah, whatever it is. All right, let me see if I got this guy in here. Captain, Captain Insano, great name.
Yeah.
Yep.
Oh, how you doing?
How's your audio?
Let's hear you.
Let's see.
Is it good?
Yeah, it sounds good.
Okay.
So you're getting blackmailed by whom?
Ah, yeah.
So I met a girl on playing a fish.
That was actually real because most of them are robots.
And we ended up having sex to be dancing and all of a sudden four months later after I
don't talk into her. She hits me up on Facebook with videos and pictures and saying that she's gonna post it all over social
media and send it to my family.
Oh my god.
Unless what?
Wait, you have a family?
I mean, kind of.
Kind of.
Really kind of.
Oh, well, I mean, there exists, but you know, I'm sorry.
When I say family, I mean like a wife and kids.
Do you have, are you, oh, no, no, no, I'm single.
Okay.
So your single, your single, you hooked up with a girl on plenty of fish who was real and
you had sex with her.
And now she's threatening to release all,
to release the video to your parents and your brothers and sisters.
Yeah, and the reason it's a problem is because I'm involved with the church. My dad's a pastor,
my grandfather's a pastor. It's like, uh, I'm a youth minister at a church.
I'm at.
So that's why it's a problem.
Oh my God.
So what, you're not allowed to be a youth minister
if you have sex with someone?
I mean, they don't want you to sit there and do exactly
the opposite of what they're teaching.
So they're teaching people not to have sex
with women from plenty of fish.
Why plenty of fish?
By the way, I thought that was kind of a ghetto side.
I was on all of them.
It was just I was just swiping and then find any
whoever I could.
So wait.
And are you really are you telling kids?
Are you actually telling people not to fornicate, but you're out there doing it? Yeah, yeah, well where the hell do you
get off where the hell do you get off telling kids not to fornicate when you're
doing it? I mean I'm offended by the black male but what the fuck are you doing?
Why are you why you cock likeicking these poor kids?
I mean, I'm just teaching what's in the book. That's not a good excuse. That's a Nazi answer.
I mean, does the book say anything about going on plenty of fish?
Is the book blackmailing you?
Yeah, good. I mean, it's fucking point.
I mean, I'm an idiot. so that's how I go. How do you so?
I'm 30
Yeah, and your how long do you think your parents have to live? I
Mean well that okay there I'm the oldest
Okay, okay
So is your plan to your 50s so they're they're all right. They're good for
Is your plan to meet some nice Christian girl and marry her like and to uphold appearances?
No, not really. My plan was just to date around and hopefully find somebody that might
actually you know be a decent person, but that doesn't work. No, that's not. They're none of them are.
Well, here's a question.
Wait, do your parents, do your parents think you're a virgin?
Good question.
No, they know I'm not because I like my, I was engaged when I was like 20
because I was trying to do the right thing and everything.
And I like, I ended up, I was like, I'm going to marry
this girl so I can have sex with her. That's how it worked. We were both virgins. So that
was how it, yeah, I was, wait a minute, wait a minute. Tell us more, tell us more about this
girl, about the first girl that you're going to marry just to being.
Okay. So, uh, so we were, uh, we met at college.
Like I was super like, my family's super conservative.
So I grew up really, really like walked in,
like my parents didn't let me do anything.
Like they didn't even, they found a green day tape
and they got mad.
Oh, wow.
So like, yeah, that's out conservative. even they found a green date tape and they got mad. Oh, wow.
Like, yeah, that's our conservative. It was.
Did you grow up on my veggie tails?
Oh, yeah.
Well, vegetables.
What's your favorite episode of veggie tails?
What happens in it?
I've never seen one.
It's probably going to be the pirate's head.
Don't do anything like the, and I don't know if Doug Tnapples, uh, a part of that, but like he's doing it now
because he's a producer of, or I don't know, like he produced some of it, but
I don't know if it's the don't do anything. That's the name of the vegetales.
The, okay. All right. The Pirates don't do anything, Sean.
Yeah.
They definitely, they definitely don't do anything, Sean. Yeah.
They definitely don't tell kids not to have sex
and then have sex.
That's one thing you know the pirates don't do.
This is a punishment from God.
This seems like God's thing.
This seems like a thing God would do, right?
Fuck you over.
They make me go on plenty of fish.
Actually, it seems like what the devil would do.
If I'm responding to it.
Okay, so you met this,
you met a girl when you were quite young in college and
You dated me. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, and we work together for like two years before I proposed, but I
proposed on that one time day too
Baited
Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely Like it was, it was really stupid.
Like and the best part is that I proposed to her
by telling her to go put a movie in the DVD in.
Yeah, I did it in such a aggressive way
that she was like, no, I'm not gonna do it.
And I left a note in the DVD and we started fighting. I was like,
no, open up the DVD case. And then she opened it up. And then she opened it up and she
was like, she didn't know what to do because we were in the middle of a fight. I was like,
I was like, what's your answer? And she was like, oh yes, okay. So then we were engaged and then we ended up having.
Oh, yeah.
So what DVD did you put it in?
Knocked up.
Okay.
Why, why did you put it in knocked up?
Because you wanted to emphasize the having sex part
of the proposal.
I mean, that's why I would do it.
I mean, it was just because it's a romantic comedy and stuff and that's kind of her and I
watched together because she doesn't like what I did, what I watched because she's like, I've lived
in urban areas and stuff and she was from the country. Like she was, like I think the time
that she lived in was like 400 people.
Oh, okay.
Sounds like perfect.
Why does that get away?
So wait, you're dating for two years
and not having sex.
What are you doing?
Is everything else on the table or is it,
what, oh yeah, we fold around this stuff,
but like, you know, yeah, no. No, no, no, but you get the tip in.
No, none of that. None of that. Like, oral? No, like, like, she gave me a hand job, but like,
she was a version two, and like, she wanted to wait till she was married, but then when we were engaged,
she was like, oh, close enough. So nice.
All right.
All right.
Nice.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then, uh, yeah, I know the wedding blew up because, uh, mostly because her mean her
dead didn't get along.
And then, uh, there was another girl.
You wouldn't do anal.
She thought I was talking to you. And I wasn't. But she thought, wait, she thought what? You're talking to another girl. She thought I was talking to you and I wasn't. But she thought, wait,
she thought what? You're talking to another girl. Oh, she thought I was talking to another
girl, but I had found out that she had like been talking to somebody else too. So it's
like God. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. So then. So then at what point did you decide that you're going to get on every
single app and slay as much pussy as possible while telling children that they should not
do this?
I would say about a year ago, I jumped on all the apps, I was like, ask for it, we'll try.
And then, I mean, I've run into so many people that are trying to steal your credit card information
and everything, but yeah. Yeah, but they're called dates. Yeah, they're called women. Yeah,
trying to always try to steal your money. Yeah, but this I actually met one person. I was actually real. So I was like, oh, hey, what's going to date?
So we went to met one person from these
and they immediately blackmailed the air.
Terrible luck.
What did you do to this?
Surprise.
Surprise, she's not having a kid.
What did you do to her?
Why does she hate you so much?
Yeah, what does she want?
What does she blackmail?
What is she extorting you for?
Right. We never found that out.
Well, she wants, she wants $1500.
That's it?
Well, yeah, but I mean, I'm not paying it.
Okay.
But why, okay, why does she hate you so much then?
Well, see, I wonder if she's in a sex trafficking ring because there's a lot of it going on
out of the mold of America.
So I don't know.
Okay.
Like, so you're in Minnesota.
I know.
You didn't piss her off.
You didn't tell her she looks fat or she needed to get off her antidepression medication
or anything like that?
No, she was a cute chick and everything. She was, you know, she was a tiny girl too.
But she, uh,
Yeah, no, I
At one point I was like, I'm, I don't think this is gonna work and I stopped talking to her and then four months later
I get all these messages.
Have they sent you proof of your pictures?
Yeah, so they sent pictures.
So she's got pictures of me and then I've sent her and then she also has video.
Yeah.
So you're going and preaching the word during the day and sending pictures of your cock to thoughts on
Plenty of fish at night. Is that what I'm getting? Yeah, okay?
Yeah, I'm not the most upstanding Christian. So is your face in them?
Yes, that's how that so
That bitch superimposed you man. You need that head swap right. Yeah, that bitch super imposed you man.
You need that head swap right.
Yeah, that bitch fucking super impole.
Right. Look, that was okay.
That and someone put your face on him.
If there's one no offense, but if there's anything I know about religious people,
they will believe anything if they want to believe it.
If it gets out, if your parents or whoever gets a shot of this,
that bitch fucking super imposed me.
Whatever you've got to do to make that story.
We're gonna make you can do one date to app of these.
Yeah, make a fake profile.
That's all religious up a shit.
But to be honest, I would go to the FBI.
I mean, I'm considering it, but like I went to the police
and they said that there's not much they
can do.
So they're, but they, I guess they have people that do internet crime and they're, so they've
got people making proiles to try to get in.
And they're only in a Tuesday.
You got to make, can you make a fake account for your church
or for your parents?
So if she sends,
if she sends the pictures to them,
it'll go to a fake account, that could be good.
Ah, I don't, I don't think so,
but it's, I'm honestly not worried about it at this point.
If they do, if it happens,
I guess they're gonna,
I guess they're gonna see my dick, whatever.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, good luck, I guess.
Yeah.
This is the, this is the world we live in, the double life you lead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, also you're talking about thoughts.
Yeah.
And you said, Thud.
Yes. I think it's that whole under the dumpster that whole under the dump thoughts. Yeah. And you said, thud. Yes.
I think it's that whole under the dumpster.
That whole under the dumpster.
Okay. All right.
Yeah.
Thud.
Yeah. All right.
But is anything else make you a rage?
Besides getting extorted?
Maybe that chick will really end you.
Maybe she just wanted a call back.
Ah, I don't know.
But I think maybe me's not locked into or might have frustrated or I don't know, but I think maybe me's not that can do or might have frustrated or
I don't know, but yeah, no, what makes you your age? I work in fast food and the old people
don't know what the fuck they want. And they just, oh my God, they just sit there and they
bitch and moan all the time. It's just constant. Like they order the wrong food and then they throw fit.
It's like honestly, once you hit 50, you just need to be
youth and I it's just time to be like, like,
there's no point to living beyond that.
Like you've gotten everything you got, right?
I think 40.
I would lower it.
Yeah.
I should be here. I'm not doing. Yeah. I shouldn't be here.
I'm not doing any more.
I'm not doing any more.
I'm not doing any too.
I gotta get that for anybody.
All right.
All right.
35 Logan's run headed.
It was tell your parents it was a,
this is an abortion activist.
You were online in a forum talking about how
abortion is murder and they got,
they got your face and deep faked you
onto somebody else's dick pic
And there you go. This is a deep fake. Yeah, it's all on by the devil. It's all technically possible had tell him to look it up
And they they can't won't be able to obviously they won't be able to all right buddy good luck good luck get out of here
Oh, thank you captain Yeah, Captain Insano.
Crazy.
What do you think, Sean?
It's a weird, weird world.
I'll read some comments then we'll get out of here.
Cool.
Fucking mumkey.
Hmm.
Maybe next week?
Maybe, I don't know.
Well, was he, was he real kind of wishy washy on whether he was going to come on or not?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I'm feeling too depressed.
Everything that's happening to me is so serious.
Well, I think sometimes,
I'm like, very few, very few people are like you.
Yeah.
Very few people are like you.
Like you say, you're built for this.
Uh huh.
Well, he posted, here's the thing about what I'm noticing
about guys who have huge scandals.
Yeah.
What is his huge, because I'm fucking ignorant as well.
Okay, so I remember it's like, oh, no, I remember this guy.
Oh, no, I remember this guy.
Monkey, apparently.
I know monkey, but you know, monkey, Jones.
Yeah.
You know, he does boomer versus zoomer with hysteria.
Yeah.
You know, monkey's called in before.
Yeah, see, yes, yes.
And since the biggest problem, he released a video recently saying that
he was unfaithful to his girlfriend. Yeah. And that he was very depressed and suicidal and he's
going to kill himself and all this stuff. He's, you know, he has problems with these, with these
sorts of things as we all do. He, it came to light that the woman he had cheated on his girlfriend with, he met at a boomer versus
zoomer meetup in New York.
And then they had some kind of long distance thing, head sex with her a couple times.
But my take on it, and with all of these, that's the whole, that's, was it some kind of
backlash or something? Oh, yeah, because when someone is embarrassed, it's, attack them. That's right. Which, which
is salarious? Yeah. Well, which doesn't, which doesn't deny that. What happens in nature,
too? Yeah. But what I'm, what the fascinating thing I'm seeing about it or the thing that
makes me rage about it is seeing these guys grandstand about the cheating.
Because on my, in my end, I'm like, when I hear, oh, I cheated on my girlfriend, I'm
cheated on my wife.
I think like, oh, yeah, you know, that's perfectly understandable.
Like, well, you understand, see, I was very, very, very, say no more.
I have met, I have been in relationships.
You don't need to explain why you chose an unorthodox way to break up with your girlfriend.
It's certainly a messy one that you've chosen, but we all know why you do it. There's guys
Relationships over it's been over. It's been over. Yeah, it's done
It's a pain in the ass to break up with somebody because you might get
Extorted for 50 like there is a non-zero chance that it will not stick right? I'd like to break up. somebody because you might get extorted for 50, like there is a non-zero
chance that it will not stick.
Right.
And I'd like to break up.
Oh, why?
Well, if it's why, you, if their answer is not say no more, they're asking for it.
They're asking for the ghost thing, the cheat, all of these other things that make you a
bad person because you had,
because you had the, you had the will to actually go and do it. Whatever. You chose an
unorthodox way of breaking up with your girlfriend. These guys are ripping on him for being unfaithful,
like for the unfaithful part, which to me, like you fucking liars. What are you talking about? Oh, while he cheated with the girls, you're so offended.
Yeah. Um, this is, um, I remember when my friend first cheated on his girlfriend for the first time
too, buddy. Like, sorry, that, uh, sorry that you've always been the lesser one in the relationship
and that this idea doesn't make any sense to you, but it makes sense to every,
but like applying their same thought process
to like rock bands and like the 70 or anything,
where were you guys during the,
are you always, you have pearls super glued to your hand
or something that you give even slightly an amount of shit
about the fidelity, about the relationship of fidelity
of a guy who makes videos mocking a serial killer.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Where do you get off?
Why do you get off doing this?
It happened with the pro Jared thing to another guy.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
He ended on his girlfriend, right?
You have turned into the inquirer. you have turned into the inquirer.
You have turned into people magazine, getting offended.
You have turned into, the devil has turned you into a woman.
You're so eager to make fun of a guy
that you're defending his poor, maligned girlfriend.
Are you fucking, are you fucking with me right now?
This is the LGBTest month,
this is the most LGBT month celebration I have
ever seen. What you're doing right now. Oh, yeah, you cheated with the girl he cheated with.
Way uglier than his girl girlfriend. Are you are you on crack? How many this why do you have
so much time? Yeah, what are you doing? And apparently the girl that you cheated with was a statutory rapist, which makes sense
because Mumpke looks like he's 12,
but there was an attraction on that level.
I wanted to make fun of him, but he's not calling him.
He won't have it.
Maybe next week.
Maybe next week.
All right, everybody.
Um, no, no, it's been too late.
All right, everybody, this has been the Dixho.
Dixho.com, patreon.com, slash the Dixho.
See in Vegas, road rage Vegas, the Dix dot show, slashho.com, patreon.com slash the Dixho. See in Vegas, Rodege Vegas, Dix.show slash Vegas.
I think Maddie P on the road was going to rent a bus from LA to Vegas and back.
It's not going to work for us.
Holy shit.
There's a win we're leaving, but I think I'm going to put up tickets and then if they
don't sell out, I'll have to refund all the tickets because the bus is really expensive
It's cheaper than a flight and it's more convenient, but it's it is very expensive
So I'll put that on the on the website somewhere right
Good luck to hysterios and sanctions. Yeah, I'd like to skip my give me my fucking money
Get out your checkbook if you have one and get writing
This is the next show. See you next Tuesday. This is by
This is by thousand island supreme. They next Tuesday. This is by, this is by
Thousand Island Supreme. They sent in a, they sent in a song.
Rommel sent this in. I don't know if it's. Oh, boy. Yeah.
It's a big show. They all have tiny dicks. Yeah, they all have little tiny,
little boy dicks. Yeah, they all have small dicks and they really like it.
Cause they like that. They look like little boys. boy dicks Yeah, they all have small dicks and they really like it
Because they like that they look like little boys
And they want Ronald the B on the show
To bring up the average dick size
For people that are hurtly on the show
Yeah, if he was on they'd all go up at least four inches
Yeah, because he has real BWC
That's like BBC, but with white guys
Yeah, Ronald has a way bigger dick than yours and pretty much exactly what I expected
By the money dick master said cuz he's a little boomer plan fuck you
I have a check for this right?
You all suck big fat dicks like
Rumbles, but he's not gay, but you'd probably want to suck his dick
He might let you but he's not gay, but you'd probably want to suck his dick. And he might let you but he's not gay.
He just likes to dominate men and put them in there.
Start the make a call and kick them with his BWC.
It's the dick show.
Pretty good thing.
Yeah.
Who's Facebook's here opening to a sitcom?
Hello dick and hello dickheads.
This is the Facebook group news from the last couple of days. John Bergman this week said, if Dick
actually shows up to the party mansion, he will eat Dick's book. What's the statement
game traction? John immediately declared that he was just joking. Oh, yeah.
Not having it. The Indian Airdondo comment that it's too late and John should start thinking
up book eating techniques. Yeah. Dick heads expressed mixed feelings as Rommel's reign as Mudd came to a swift end.
Cass Michael writes that Rommel has lost all admin and Mudd privileges pertaining to the
group for upsetting longstanding members.
The comments were littered with people pressing S to spit.
Ugi Bugi claims that it's the best thing to happen to the group.
Case Chaplin says, rip K-Mart Ryan Gosling.
Chris the Kiwi has declared that dick takes advantage of him and mistreats him on the show.
He says, just because I have a problem does not mean I have less rights than anyone else.
Nor does that mean I have to take abuse, whether male or female.
He goes on to say that he resents being made out to be a misogynist
when the opposite sex has been equally as bad without consequences. Chris is now reconsidering
his future role with the show. Wong Erickson shares a painful memory from nine years ago of him
standing next to Maddox and holding an extended version of the alphabet of manliness. A few
others joined him and sharing photos from No, he's that guy forever.
And he's that they themselves attended.
Romain Foguer claims that this is the biggest oof in the universe.
Wong's height became a hot topic in the comments.
Anthony John even asked if he was like four nine,
Was Villa hopes Wong saved some pussy for the rest of us?
This has been the Facebook group news from the last couple of days.
All right.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Do you think he's done?
Chris Kiwi?
Chris?
No, I don't.
He was in a discord.
He was in his cantillians discord.
Oh, maybe that got shut down.
I don't think he's done.
He should be done.
He should be.
He'll, he'll email you or he'll do something or he'll, you know.
He was in another discord saying,
one day I'll wait for doctor and then he used a Jewish slur
to spill her real name and then she'll be going down
with her job and she'll be saying,
hi to all those aides infested
and then he uses another slur for a different.
Okay, for intense.
Can you tell me what's going on here?
Dr. Rachel doesn't want me to call in
and there's another young Jewish girl
who's added me on Facebook who's saying the exact same thing
and advises me not to call in saying it's unhealthy.
So there you go.
Godspeed, Godspeed, you crazy man.
That stupid, rommel song is stuck in my head.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah. crazy man. That's stupid, Rommel song is stuck in my head. Yeah.
Maybe you should pay him. Hi, Dick. I'm calling because I love
your war questions. Yes. I think you need to add on one last one
that really will just pass fail. And it's when was the goal fuck when was the war in the
Middle East and if they don't say which one instant in the fail there will
be some who will say oh are we doing it right? Or I think it was in the thousands?
I don't know.
No, if they don't say which one instant fail, go find yourself.
We're dealing with people who think Vietnam happened
in the 2000s.
I think counting wars is way beyond,
way beyond the target audience.
What's up, Dick, Sean. That's right.
You know what else I've noticed with the war games question?
What?
Some people are very proud and eager to answer it and that is also funny.
It goes both ways.
People can not even have a clue what millennia, the Civil War happened and feel absolutely
no shame in this.
But then there's people who eagerly, eagerly answer the question and then wait for some
kind of a war.
The craze or the war.
No, this is, this is a question.
It's just, there's no stakes.
I mean, it's like people who brag about their IQ.
It's like, this was designed to detect the retarded.
This isn't something to brag about.
Congratulations.
You are as smart as a fifth grader.
Still funny.
It's up Dick, Sean.
Got a rage for you.
I'm going to be having to explain how you're
fucking electronic at work to guests in your house.
Yeah.
So like, yeah, I just have to explain like.
Does your TV, what he's done? Yeah, I just have a new explain like
Does your TV what he's done does your TV not have inputs on it at your house? Yeah, did you walk does my door have some kind of stupid field that you got shot with when you walked in my TV works the same as yours
Find the fucking input turn your system on done don't bother me, I'm trying to do 10 other things over here.
Here's the thing though.
People don't understand concepts behind things.
They just know that they push this button, this button,
and this button, and it works.
They don't understand the concepts.
I don't have a blue button here.
What do you mean, I'm stupid.
I don't have a blue triangular button over here.
Yeah, I have, yeah, you're right.
I have no idea how this works at my house.
Yeah.
I just press the buttons at the cable guy.
It's all made of press.
A series of steps.
Yeah, they don't understand what's going in.
How do I get?
What's going on between the, you know, what the jacks do?
What the, how do I get Netflix on this?
Yeah.
Look at, is there an 800 number?
Maybe you should call it.
Yeah.
Maybe call it, call 911.
Start there.
You stupid asshole.
Go on your phone and look up how the shit works
before you ask me again.
Mm.
Well, Vic, your old pal just got back from the circus.
You'll never guess where the body positivity movement
has reached.
Uh-oh.
The fucking circus.
Like one of the most questionable ethics,
like ethically questionable events
on the face of the planet, the fucking circus.
I don't know about that.
Body positivity movement's made it there.
You see, they kept saying,
yeah, next we have the beautiful so-and-so,
followed by the beautiful so-and-so.
And they must have been hiding behind all the fat rods that they sent out.
You know those things when they like climb up in the air and they do all the twisty
shit on those ropes?
Yeah.
And on the hell those fat bitches carried themselves up.
Shappies?
No.
It was ridiculous.
It's like rope dancing or what?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
The poor skinny guy like trying to counter balance thing. I'm like, I'm just fucking tie it down to a one-ton pickup truck. That's the only thing that's
the sucker has to fall down. God damn. He was terrible. And for a while, I thought they
just kept bringing the elephant out. And then I was like, wait a minute. They're not.
Those elephants are wearing costumes. They're. Yeah, it's fucking terrible.
Not one skinny bride out of a whole mix.
And that used to be the only reason they were like circuses like,
yeah, bring me out the paintings and dice.
Nope, not anymore.
Now it's, they turn it into a burlash show.
Circus didn't come around that often.
No, I didn't know that the circus was known for hot chicks.
Makes sense though, I guess.
Oh, that's too bad.
Those silk robes, the ones that go all the way up to the ceiling, they go up to the
cereal around and they told them and like they hang upside down, they like weave one around
one leg and they try and then somebody twirls a ropes and they do shit like that.
Yeah, I bet those are a lot easier than they look.
They look like, they look,
they look more impressive than they are actually.
Probably.
You're spinning around.
Hey, Dick, how you doing?
Hey, so calling in with the rage,
people interrupting you or interrupting others.
So like, for instance, that work, trying with a friend of mine, both working, but you know, doing other things.
Guy comes over, interrupts just, hey I need this. Okay. I just have to stand there and
I'm like, well, I don't know, we're just chatting. We're not doing our jobs, but listen to you excuse me, you know, like, hey, sir, maybe
if you don't leave pauses between your words that you could park a semi-end, perhaps that
would help with the interrupting problem that you're experiencing.
Maybe the guy, maybe the guy just thought you were sleeping when he came up.
Sorry guys.
I gotta get this done. Okay. Maybe the guy, maybe the guy just thought you were sleeping when he came up. Sorry guys.
I got to get this done. Okay.
Yeah.
Our bad guy.
Do you think do you think I just want to just a little bit of an acknowledgement?
This isn't just that.
It goes into anything.
Look, hell, even listening to you talk to Chris the key.
We right.
Looking guy, uh, how do you know how do you, when you're trying to explain to him something, you know,
where the fuck is the common courtesy of this shit?
Like, just go, excuse me, wait your turn, go, hey, you know, I get you're like dick, how
do you know, even that with the fucking guy earlier with me, it's just excuse me, guys, instead of just,
hey, I need an old kid.
You know, I'm fucked.
Sure, well, I'm born as fuck, okay, I'm like,
give a fucking comment,
encourage you to a person, go, excuse me, guys, sorry.
You know, acknowledge there's something going on there
and be polite, you know, we kind of need
to have a social standard here being
polite with one another.
That's gone.
Because you can never have a friend.
No, this is kind of long though.
This is kind of a long way to talk about that point.
I have to be each other.
It's just, it's first my ass.
Now I've been to me, but to other people like friends and to you and Chris Kiwi.
Even to friends where friends can say, hey, you know, I get friend, no friend interrupts.
Yeah, I got this.
Fucking idiot.
Stupid cunt, what the fuck is your problem?
He had the fucking answer.
He was gonna tell us the fuck,
well, you have to come in to be first
to get the fucking answer about this thing.
You fucking moron.
He just, anytime someone's talking and someone just tries to cut them off
and interrupt or just interject and see if just waiting and going, hey,
God, hey, put thing here, you know, now I even pull a little Kanye Weston, hey,
quick thing I gotta say something here. But don't interrupt.
Yeah, he was really polite about it.
I'm saying, it blows my fucking mind.
People do that shit.
Here comes the best part.
And it just, if you will to anyone,
not only to me, but to other people.
What are you gonna do? Hang up.
No, there's a time limit on the voicemail.
Oh, it's great.
It's like you don't have the common DCD technology.
Someone is gonna give the answer.
It's someone, they're people who have conversations.
And you just don't want
a very small percentage of people get chopped up. I know. I know. It usually surprises me,
but that one did not surprise me. I have a whistle.
Yeah.
Interrupting whistle to let you know that I'm about to interrupt.
This is kind of a long, it takes too long to explain over and over.
I'm gonna hold on, I just need to interrupt,
I'm gonna let you finish.
It's just a whistle that I have.
Whaaaaat!
And then I start talking.
Yeah.
And then, it does, everybody does shut up.
But it's a courtesy.
Yeah.
It's a courtesy to them.
It's just a visual indicator, audio indicator,
you know, and visual one because I put it up in my mind. It's got things that like, it's got
little flares that go like, right, float up so they can see that I'm about to interrupt.
I don't have to apologize every time, you know? Yeah, yeah. I want to let them know that I'm
going to be finished in a second, but just everything that they were saying is boring. And I don't
care if I hear it or anyone hears it or that they get to express it and that
I apologize, but that's just the way I see things.
That's my truth that I'm going to tell.
Yes, that's your truth.
That I need to say.
You have to live your truth.
I have these printed on little cards and I come in and I want to drop in and I go,
and then hand them a card that explains all that.
You suck.
Shut up.
Yeah. just stop.
What's the, what are you doing?
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Right, how about a nobody cares card?
Nobody cares.
And then I apologize to the other person
for having to sit through what they were sitting through.
Yeah, you know.
And then I, oh my God, I want cards.
It's just nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Here you go.
And then I take back the apology
because I say, well, and in you yourself,
you were enabling this behavior
by pretending to listen even though you're thinking about
probably game of thrones,
just like something else.
Anything else.
You're standing here enabling this behavior.
And then I'm out.
And I blow the way, and then I don't stop.
There is no stopping until I see somebody else
that I want to interrupt.
Okay.
People are very precious about being interrupted.
If you notice that,
Yeah.
I fall at the extreme end of it's all just garbage.
Yeah, yeah.
Of everyone's mouth.
No one cares, it doesn't matter.
Right.
Interrupt all the time constantly.
You don't even need to make sound.
Just grunt.
Yeah.
Same thing.
Arguments are, arguments are for debate clubs. Let's see.
Andrew from Eugene, Oregon. Let's see what you have to say. Oh boy. See if he's
certainly this way. They've mixed me a rage of the second people who
tout signs and yet they've never, never enjoyed or been passionate about science
actually only about using other people's hard work
The push what they want what they want, okay, right?
Like I'm looking at this this air action you were having on swear with a chick, huh?
and
Say no more
You put it out there dick and one phrase
The one sudden it's cheating
Trans athletes, you know cheating. Oh, yeah. And she'll reform like she thinks the fucking spell
with like a bunch of shits.
Transathlete, I'm arguing about Transathlete.
Oh, you work.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you see CC, something, whatever her name is?
The newest Transathlete.
As a sa, the hold on.
CC Telfer, who previously competed as a man
and was ranked like 200.
There's something like that is now a woman and one in destroying the field.
Oh, yeah.
Here she is.
Beautiful woman that she is.
NCAA.
What is she competing in?
I'm going to look up to my news.
No, no, no, this is an old one.
She just recently won.
I'm going to find it.
Track. Yeah. Which is mostly, this is an old one. She just recently won. I'm gonna find it. Track.
Yeah.
Which is mostly,
track is mostly a mental game.
So it's unfair that a trans woman is competing
because men dominate women when it comes to intelligence.
You have to, when you're running track,
that's the, when you're running track,
you have to think about your stride.
Right.
You have to think about your stride.
You have to think about your breathing.
Left foot, if you fuck up left foot, right foot,
while you're running, you have no chance.
Right foot, right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, right foot.
Right foot, only mentally.
They are cheating with their minds.
Their minds.
They get, do not misunderstand.
Don't misunderstand.
I know the science is completely settled when it comes to the physicality.
Yes.
The bones, the testosterone, doesn't mean anything.
Doesn't mean shit.
No, doesn't mean anything.
Once you've decided to live your life as a woman.
A woman.
You're right.
Means nothing.
That's decided.
No.
But what the hormones can't do is eliminate the mental superiority and the mental advantage
of running track.
Right.
I mean, how often do you think a biologically a genetic female is running track thinking,
maybe I run a little bit faster,
but a trans female who grew up as a man
is always thinking that.
Second nature.
Second nature.
Gotta run faster.
Why do you think,
why do you think there's so many male sonic fans?
It's not the autism.
Gotta go fast.
It says, Sonic has always got to go fast
and men identify it with it inherently.
That is what I'm saying.
Let's look at C.C.
So we're clear.
Just so we're clear.
When's women's 400 to be fair?
To be fair, meter hurdles at the NCAA.
Yeah.
Here's transgender woman, C.C.
Telfer, who was born and raised as Craig Telfer, competing at the 400 meter hurdles.
God damn, what can you say?
Here we go.
This is a pretty good shot.
Oh my God.
It's like Jackie join her cursing.
She's beautiful.
She's like 10 yards ahead of the nearest pursuant.
That's just a perspective that there.
Yeah, okay.
The person is half the height of her.
That's the distance.
I mean, this is NC 2A.
Yeah, yeah.
This is an NC 2A caliber athlete in her prime.
If you're if your kids are thinking about, to be honest, though, those are,
those are white women in the background.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, yeah. No, that's that girl's not white. Oh, really. Yeah, I mean. Yeah.
No, that girl's not white.
Oh really? Okay, I can't really see.
I can tell.
Look at the hips.
That's not a white girl's hips.
Look at those thighs.
No white girl running track has thighs like that, Sean.
All right.
Don't say insane things.
All right.
There you go.
So that's what I just said.
I said it's cheating on Twitter.
Yeah.
Twitter you can't explain yourself.
So I didn't, it's the mental part that's the cheating.
Right.
I'm still cheating nonetheless.
Yeah.
Someone was telling me that I'm an idiot.
And I think that's what he's talking about.
Yeah.
You're the idiot.
Well, here's some key review stuff.
I wouldn't trust Dick if he didn't do his research.
And it's like, that shit pisses me off.
So fucking much, man.
Yeah, the trade is actually the thing is one thing.
And that's the conversation that I would love to have to because I could believe you agree
If you are a camp of this this is going to say it's because you're not on it. Well, here's the other thing about since it's LG LGBTs month
Yeah, I think that trans people don't understand how
How far men will go to embarrass themselves about sports. Oh yeah. Like a guy will let the pronouns slide
because we don't really care.
Like oh yeah, whatever.
I mean, we're used to like fudging the definitions
of words all the time.
Any guy who's ever had sex has lied
about the definitions of words
and who speaks as a person that is not their own.
Like we know how that works, but a guy will cry and who speaks as a person that is not their own.
We know how that works, but a guy will cry because the Cubs lose a pennant race.
We will cry because sports don't go our way.
We touch each other's asses because we're there sports going on.
We will encourage each other in the name of sports. Yeah. This is,
no, this is behavior. Doesn't happen in real life. Exhibit nowhere else in life. It is
that you are getting down to the raw emotional core. If it still exists in men, if you start
fucking, like, wait, men will riot over sports and excuse it. Yeah. Go. You got to rest.
I punched a cop during when they punch the cop
because the Clippers won a championship. Passions are running high. That's totally excuse.
Motions running high. Totally excusable. I think they are doing. I think they are like it will end in
one of these athletes in a rage of especially the parents getting shot or killed in some way. And it will be a complete surprise to like,
you know why?
Cause you're new.
Yeah, cause you're new here.
Cause you're new here.
Yeah, I mean, you don't understand the lay of the land.
In some countries, you lose an event that team gets shoved into a grill.
Dude.
Like, it's not a, they just men go nuts for sports.
They will embarrass themselves in front of huge groups of people
be over arguments about sports.
Are you, do you know what you're fucking with right now?
Just, just so you know, if it's not important to you,
pump the brakes on what's happening
because it's in the news and guys are getting pissed off.
That's all I'm saying.
It's a game. It's a game
It is a just telling it the same thing. I've been telling men from my until calm the fuck down. It's a game
Might not be the hilted Dion, but you know, what do I know?
I can't stand these fucking people who who can't
Who can't seem to
It's like there's what this is what the science says yet, but like you can you acknowledge that there are other people
Are there opinions yet? But what is a science as you need to do your research and until you completely agree with what the science
Paralyzed then you have to be like you're not I
There's like five different ways my brain looks to go and it's very hard for you to pick one
Let me pick one. It's like science different ways I've brain wants to go and it's very hard for you to pick one.
Let me take one.
It's like science is constantly fucking changing.
You're telling me that you have to run out of it and believe everything doesn't, the
current type guys decide and you can't ever disagree with something and it is probably
so what all the people that are like the leading edge of their field to actually doing research
and actually one's making up these fucking laws.
They're happy that they're paying us because they might disagree with something that's
true.
It's just it's simply, it's picking people up.
Some empirical evidence out there too, you know, some MMA woman crushed a skull.
You know, this person's basically lapping people on the traits.
Come on now.
Come on. You can fucking read this. Here's another article.. It's like you can't even fucking talk to me like a person
Like you treat them like they're fucking magic spells and you could just throw it out and then your will will be done
Yeah, it's
That's not the thing else it is actually incredibly fucking disrespectful and
It's toaning to everyone,
including themselves, and they're too stupid to realize that.
Science is.
It's like that old fucking Spanish tale
with a guy, forces his wife on the side of the road
to shout that the sky is purple,
so he can prove his dominance over her.
It's like, dude, you're making yourself
with stupid too.
You're making both of you people stupid.
And when people talk like that, don't know a day it's like
are you so convinced that you're so right you could never be wrong you're
gonna be absolutely wrong with that smug at all fucking times to the point
where you have to tell you talking to children it's it's uh
and it's gonna work like a murder somebody.
Well it's just settled down.
It's just a game.
Just a game.
Don't worry about it.
It is.
Well, look at the science.
I don't need to look at the science.
Come on.
Trying to think of anything that's worked for.
Look at the science.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm not talking about that.
Talking about other things.
Hey, this is Justin.
I'm out with so-and-so.
I'm in the Wano camp off the one.
I'm at the party.
You're getting married.
You're just such a guy.
I want to leave a... We're all going to leave a race real quick.
No, this will be a tricky race.
When I met a public restroom and I go, I wash my hands,
and then I reach into the paper towel dispenser and there's no paper towels and it's just a cold wet fucking piece of cardboard.
It's much by 10,000 other men like disgusting piece of shit and so upsetting. Which is a mix of the rich who makes your ages 12 dollars 30 miles per year.
It's got a lot of fun in your country.
All right.
So that's what makes Dylan in water age.
If you have any advice on the show for one, do you get married this Sunday?
Let him know.
Let him know the rest of his wife because she's locked right to the fucking.
Nine hundred and a half million of the pay-eat-exson.
See, you're going to get any advice for Juan Ocampo?
He's getting married today.
God damn it.
Wow, from a guy who took the stage at road rage LA,
called everyone a homophobic slur that I will never,
that I do not use, that I would never use on the day.
Did he ever take the stage?
Real talk.
Do we have any real talk for one, Ocampo?
No.
No.
I mean, good luck.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Don't let her try to change you.
One.
Don't let her.
Yeah, there's some advice.
Yeah, there's some advice.
Hopefully you've, hopefully you've given her who you are.
No.
Hopefully you've duped her into thinking that you're some now is the time to let it all out okay
I've slammed her with it let it don't don't ease her into who you really are just hammer hammer her with it all at once
Oh on the wedding night boom
Pop goes the girdle
That's what I say. This is who I am
Farding openly as often as possible. Yes, even faking it sometimes just to keep you
on a tell us. Yes. This is who I am. Then she'll thank you when you restrain constant
cursing. Yes. Yes. If she is into anything, it's dumb and gay to you. Slav and Lee. Slav
and Lee behavior. These are just piling up and yelling. Never wants help at all. No, ever.
Pissing anywhere but the toilet.
In the sink.
Yeah, that's just what I do, bitch.
Right.
Don't let her change you at all.
Right.
There's that as solid advice to end on.
I got some presents.
You do?
Yeah.
Mr. Dick Masterson and Mr. Sean Jacobson
at the Dijkshow.
Oh, Christina and Chris.
Oh, let's see. Looks like a wedding invitation. Um, my fiance would, oh, yeah, Christina,
uh, Christina Marie, Denise, no relation to Christina Falto. Right, right. Christopher Charles Flynn.
June, the first Saturday, the first of June. Oh, that was yesterday. Oh, shit. All right. Well,
we missed that. Sorry, guys. Good guys, this is wedding season I guess.
Congratulations, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
Try it, if you're going to a wedding, where was it?
St. Petersburg, Florida.
Oh wow, we gotta leave, we gotta leave right away.
We gotta leave now, right away.
I catch maybe there's a reception or a party today
or something.
If you're going to a wedding, try to work Trump into your speech.
In some way.
Okay.
That's a good goal.
Squad goals for this wedding season.
Here's another one.
Dear Dick, congratulations on your five years
podcasting anniversary.
I've been listening since the early days
of Biggest Prominent University.
It's hard to believe so much time has passed already.
I remember how fit and swole your upper body used to be in those days.
Gay.
Truly a man's man and I mean that in the gaste way that is straight man.
So can I self-concern?
Anyway, I was perusing for some fine art the other day.
When I stumbled across this, a perfect portrait of the current day or perhaps near future
at Dick Masterson.
I'm sending this to you today for two reasons.
One, the last time I sent art onto the show,
I made it myself and it sucked.
You may remember the $20 million man Cuxmas ornament.
I think that thing's great.
Not my best work, and I've been looking for redemption ever since.
This time I can blame a...
This time I can blame any shitty art on someone else.
Two, I hope it can serve as an inspiration
to keep up the current work you are doing to ward
off depression, pay lotty's, working out, or just crushing some sweet, sweet vage.
Whatever it is you're doing, keep it up.
Most of this letter is ingest of course, you are still a strong, virile man, but hey, it
never hurts to maintain them, right?
I hope you enjoy the art and keep up to great work on the show.
Tuesdays are one of the highlights of my weeks, thanks to you.
Here's to five years and hopefully many more regards.
David Slaymaker, I'll fantastic.
Let's see this art.
This is what he says I look like.
Now, what do you think?
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck is...
Hang on, turn that around again. What the fuck is, hang on, turn that around again.
What the hell?
Wait, is that some, are you laying on some fuck?
This is somebody else drew this.
This wasn't drawn custom for me.
What's the black and white foot there?
A ghost.
I'm so fat I have an astral project.
I'm so fat that my spirit is sucked out of my body.
Let me see. Jesus Christ. There we go.
Everybody on the video can see it. It looks like a very gross fat. It looks like a gross man
with a head that was drawn by a different person because it's so tiny with a stupid little
mustache and a dead look. It looks like a corpse. The body looks bloated like a corpse.
Yeah.
The tits look painted on.
The tits look like he's had a breast reduction surgery.
By the way, I brought in surgery for men, I think.
I love the patches of hair everywhere.
There's gross patches of hair.
There's a lot of knees.
Yeah, the patches of hair are too thin
to be considered masculine,
but too thick to be considered feminine.
It's kind of a, it's amazing.
Androgynous patchwork of body hair,
disgusting on the shins too.
I don't know if I've ever seen a human
with patches of hair on their shins,
like a shin guard, absolutely grotesque.
So wearing a watch and has like wolf man hair.
Yeah.
The watch is dwarfed by his bloated sausage arms.
We're wearing a woman's watch for some reason.
No possible reason.
No possible reason a man could exist
looking at this disgusting fat.
He's got an eight pack of hot dogs
for over his belly button, which is curiously high.
Yeah. His ass looks like it looks like a bag of dough. pack of hot dogs for over his belly button, which is curiously high.
Yeah. His ass looks like a, it looks like a bag of dough.
Someone has dropped on a pool table.
His ass.
He's amazing descriptions.
Shoulder pads, the shoulder pads with hair,
something else.
And the head, of course, looks like it has an
another entire head for a chin. Yeah. So there you go. Thanks a lot, David Sleemaker.
phenomenal. I hope you get hit by Drunk Driver. See you next Tuesday.
Uh.