The Dick Show - Episode 159 - Dick on Gunplay
Episode Date: June 18, 2019A new murderer calls in, how to not be too serious all the time, my reverse graduation speech, who does your abuela know, soph gets her yearbooks trashed, a new and exciting way to protest that doesn'...t involve burning the flag, afternoon penis cravings, Tifa's nerfed rack, early menopause, Kiwi Christopher is more well-adjusted than Reddit, your job is not your family, The Dad Zone, easy mode for video games, crappy pets, Alex from the Andy Warski gun-altercation is in studio, and a Happy Fathers' Day celebration for single moms and single pupper moms out there; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
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No, Bernie. Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that thing?
Hey.
Hey.
Oh.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Yeah.
Hey.
Welcome to the day.
You want to get in there?
You got it in the show.
Why do things in contest?
Comedy Live from Mount Bunkett, deep in the heart of city. Failure on your hosting, Master of the AK, if you want to get in, get in, get in, get in, get in, get in the show! Everything's a contest!
Comedy live from Mount Bunk, deep in the heart of the city, I'm your host, Nick Mashlin, aka the $20 million man,
recently voted America's worst Mexican 11 weeks,
running with me as always, as world touring,
LA-based comedian Sean the audio engineer.
Hello, dick!
Hey, what's up, buddy?
While I was introduction, also in the studio today,
Agent Richard Head.
Welcome to the show my friend the FBI
criminologist who signaled monkeys, depersoning and de-platforming a month before it happened I
think. Yeah. Oh, what a tip off. What a tip off. The FBI can actually see the future now.
Because they're making it. Yeah. With their wild arrests. Do they really texts like teenage girls?
I've always wanted, after the Trump texts came out
where they're like going, oh my God, oh my God.
Now he's president, oh my God, back and forth.
Do they all like that?
Is that frowned upon in the Bureau?
I don't have enough exposure to the FBI to say for sure.
So the answer is yes, that's what we know, right, Sean?
But everyone in law enforcement,
I didn't say no. I did say no. I did say no.? But everyone in law, for the top. Did you say no?
Like a boomer as far as I can tell.
Everyone in law and for the max, like a boomer.
But it kind of like looped back around now where boomers,
text like teenage girls used to.
Yeah.
Yeah, well they're getting hit late.
Yeah, they can't see the touch screen.
So instead of why are you, they type you.
Yeah, I have an average.
For reasons.
I had an Abedant Kissello routine with my mom trying
to explain to her what OIC meant.
Like, just, you know, oh, the letters OIC.
She's like, what does it mean? Like, so it's OIC.
Like, well, I know that it's OIC, but what does it mean?
Oh, I see. She's like, Sean, I'm trying to ask you what OIC is.
I'm like, okay, just go away. Get out of here.
Go look it up.
Also, it does it still.
Third base.
Right. Also joining us in the still. Third base. Right.
Also joining us in the studio today's Alex.
Hey guys, Sean, I don't know if you've seen this video.
I have been making my ass.
You remember a man by the name of Andy Worsky?
Yeah, by name.
Yeah, he called in.
He also, he fought some Indian man, a Native American man,
in a wheelchair and Knoxville.
You remember I went to that fight?
Yeah.
Versus Tanka saw and then to the gentleman.
Wait, did that happen or was that the one that somebody didn't show for?
No, it happened in spirit only.
Tanka sent his spirit animal to fight Andy Warsky in the ring, not to
ville, and he got the shit kicked.
They got really badly embarrassed because he didn't even show up in the fight.
This is what the guy who he taught you at the time was.
That's right, you let the guy do his whole ring thing and everything.
Yeah. Great. So Andy Warsky recently was on a video where he's in real life streaming
Which means you walk around with a speaker and people tech people text the speaker and then it shouts
Some version of the N word constantly all night. That's pretty much all it is. I've heard of this
You've heard of it before a song by AP or what or very well-produced song by AP or
What is the song? Is that a reference to
something that I? Oh, that's the song that starts on.
Alex get on the mic. Get on the mic.
Wait a minute, Loon. I have I have a they're pointed
over at them. Somebody made this for me. So I don't have to
say it anymore. Yeah. But I think I let the batteries run
out. That's probably not that's please get on the fucking
link. Get on the fucking mic. So Andy Warzki's running around in real life streaming has an altercation with some gentlemen
They they find Andy and Alex is Alex and Andy and this guy failure are together
Walking around they have an altercation
Alex and other guys and failure these guys are walking around together some other gentlemen come up and and start and
Escalate the Congress the conversation. And Alex pulls out a gun. Has a, is in Florida. Has a, this is no joke on the streets of Florida. Whips out his piece like the big, like
Walter in the big Lebowski. Andy Warzky is screaming at him to aim
for Andy Warzky who is the win from being,
he went from being the toughest man on the internet
to screaming like a rape victim with Ethan Ralph.
You remember Ralph, the Ralph Retour.
They had a fight.
I don't know, I think Andy lost that one.
I think they might have both lost that one to be honest.
There are no
There's Andy moved on to this confrontation with Alex where poor Alex on camera is now holding a loaded weapon
Oh boy. At two at three guys who is this why you're three thousand miles away
He's on the run from the law in the studio right here. I found him. Yeah
This is I mean this is and Andy is screaming at them to back the, he's screaming at them
high pit in this, in the most terrified high pitch like, go to fuck back, go to fuck
back.
Go to work for me like an old transvestite screaming at them is slap.
That woman's in trouble.
So you've got, it is the worst, it is the most volatile situation.
One of the most volatile situations, definitely that I've ever seen in real life streaming.
Because this is not true.
What prompted the confrontation?
The N word coming out of a speaker.
The song AP in Texas, the Adonis ball show.
Okay.
Well produced, way overly produced song.
Okay.
Andy Worsky hates in words.
And just on and on and on to a country theme.
And word in, word in. And of course, but the actual word. Yeah, the actual. Okay. The actual
word. So and the and they were very progressive. The people who were offended by it. They weren't
black. No, the black guys a lot thought hilarious. Yeah. You know, it's like Canadian. It's the
people who secretly racistly think that all black people would be stirred to motivated to violence and action over hearing a word
because they themselves are that fragile.
They are the ones that are upset.
That's called projection.
Yeah.
So they projected themselves right into a gun battle
with young Alex here.
Um, it's, I mean, if I'm in a self defense type of situation, Andy Worsky is the last
one I want barking orders at me while I've got my peace train.
You think some cops are nervous.
Yeah, it didn't help.
Yeah, back up, back the fuck up, and he's chasing them down.
Are we gonna play this?
Maybe like, yeah, I'll have to find it.
I'll play it at the end.
I assume you don't wanna talk about it.
Push that mic over to him.
No, I can't really talk about it
so the hundred eighty days runs out.
Won't talk, that's a, that is a,
that rage will haunt me for my entire life.
Say what you say, the whole sentence
so I can feel it in my bones.
I won't talk much about it
in some of the hundred be right. Thank you.
Anytime I will clarify one thing.
Yeah, cause I can't talk about,
okay, it's everything, but off camera.
Yeah.
The only reason a gun came out was there was a knife involved.
There were five people.
Did Andy pull the knife and plant it on?
Yeah.
Andy pull out the knife and duct tape into there.
I mean, it looks honestly, if I'm being honest, and from a marketing perspective, it looks like Andy Worskies trying to initiate a self-defense
motivated slaying to get a boost in ratings to his profile or YouTube channel.
If you were a cynical marketing guy, if I was some kind of a cynical marketing guy,
which I don't want to judge, you know, conspiracy theorist, all the guys were from Mrs. Agua,
same place Andy's from. Oh, yeah, same city. So the Canadians brought their gun violence and knife violence
to the streets of America. They're not sending their best. We need right. We need two walls.
We need two fucking walls. That's it. We'll watch it. We'll watch it at the end. Jesus.
Just to hear those fucking back.. What did they do for me?
Did they stay the fuck back?
I would imagine so.
Also, they see the gun.
They kind of roided up and drugged out.
So they didn't, they were in the middle
of a drinking contest.
They weren't thinking, they weren't scared at all of the gun.
No shit.
So wait a minute, they literally brought a knife to a gun fight.
First of all, they tracked us down.
Like we had left, we were gone for half an hour,
we thought they were completely gone.
We were heading back towards the car
and they ambushed us.
Five guys on three.
Yeah.
Brought a knife to it.
So it's great.
I was on the phone with the cops the whole time.
So I'm very glad to see that you're not in prison.
Yeah.
When I saw the video and saw you guys getting arrested,
I'm like, oh man, that cop does not think this is funny at all.
I was surprised.
The cops in LA have a great sense of humor.
Oh yeah.
They would have laughed us off.
I'm not used to these Florida cops.
Yeah.
So I'm glad to see you're not in prison.
Yep.
Yeah, I'm glad to.
Yeah, yet, Sean.
Yet, yet.
Oh, you can't talk about it.
Well, no.
Can't, can't, won't talk about it is the word.
You know how I feel about, you know, I can't, I can't call it. I don't talk about it. Well, no. Can't, can't, won't talk about it is the word. You know how I feel about, you know, I can't,
I can't call it, won't.
It's, and everybody does it.
It's that, that's that's subtle.
It's that's subtle.
No, no, Alex, this is not about you.
This is, this is in life in general.
If I ever hear a can't, I'll take a pause for a second.
I'll let you, I'll let you, I'll give you,
I'll give you a mulligan on that one.
I'll give you a do over on that can't. Just work with me on the, I'll let you, I'll give you that, I'll give you a mulligan on that one. I'll give you a do over on that.
Can't just work with me on the, it was funer, it is more fun to say.
Yeah, I mean, I won't do it.
Yeah.
And you won't do it then just stand by it.
Say who you want, it's fun, it's empowering.
Yeah.
Makes your balls grow three sizes that day.
If you give me a won't, you motherfucker.
Have you been going around, are you gonna go around talking about it afterwards?
I'm going on Nick Rikeda show for a full thing,
probably my lawyer once this was all wrapped up.
It has to go 180 days for it to time out of the core system.
And then they can't do anything.
Then you can do whatever you want.
What do you mean time out of the core system?
Is there, so I mean, is there a core?
Is there a case file?
Is there a dispatch already drop the documents online
on his stream?
The state attorney filed a paperwork saying
they do not intend to press any charges,
but it still has to time out.
So it has to be a case.
I got it because there's a period of time.
So like, if any, yeah.
Do you have any, do you have any words for Andy
after all of this is said and done?
Do you have any messages for him
or for have any new partners that he might take on? He goes through them pretty quickly. No, no, he's going to a rough time right now. Yeah, I love it.
I like. He was screaming like a hysterical woman though. That happens. Sean. All right.
I'm in another dimension today. Yeah, yeah. For this father's, first of all, happy father's day to all the single mothers out there.
You do, you basically do two jobs being a mom
and the more difficult job, the more important job
of being a father.
So thank, especially thank you to all the single mothers
of the Puppers and the kidder, whatever they call,
whatever the dog goes and the Puppers
and whatever the maladjusted women suffering
with histrionic personality disorder
call their pets.
Thank you for your sacrifice.
I am in another fucking dimension today
called the dead dimension
where time, a singularity of time screams past you
at a frightening pace, and you are reduced
in your mind to a spark of your former essence, not unlike the ending of the never-ending
story where the all of existence is put in.
You know what, being a, you know, I've had the experience of being a dad for exactly
24 hours.
Okay.
You had the kids.
I had both of my sister's children,
bam, bam, and a little Irishman.
And I had my parents' dog.
I had an instant franchise family
that has taken me from a beautiful Phoenix of a man
who surveys the breadth of his domain
and wonders what else there is to conquer
down to a pilot light of a man.
That is the essence of being a dad.
It is whittled down to everything,
even the shell clawed and taken away
by the mischievous, rictus grins of fuck trophies
and rug rats whose only objective, whose
puts the, who put the entire human experience of needing to be entertained for every second
of their lives, not onto a giant entertainment consortium run by you know who, but onto
only me.
I am doing the job of all of the entire global elites in the house for the
last 24 hours. And it has worn me down to a pilot light. And if that gas, if the gas suffers
for even a moment, it's going out. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. Forget to get cigarettes
and it's never coming back. So God bless. It is exhausting.
It is exhausting.
Can't even, can't even fathom it.
Yeah.
Can't even fathom it.
No, if you're not a dad yet, for God's sakes, don't do it.
Fight, fought tooth and nail to keep, to keep what you have, to keep this illusion that
you call life in front of you.
And God bless the dads who have done it for us because I, I, I, I, I, I realize they are at the age.
Now, they're not gonna leave you alone,
but you can tell them to leave you alone.
They're perfectly capable of occupying themselves
for half an hour or an hour, they're in the house,
you know where they are, it's hard.
I know, because I've got, I've got nieces,
and it's like the parents go, you know,
you don't have to do that with them right now
What do you mean like you don't have to say yes to everything? Oh?
Yeah, it's like I want to do stuff with them and they're they're a lot of fun
But sometimes it's like man, I gotta go I gotta go take a nap
It's like they're perfectly capable of occupying themselves. That's girls Sean. These are boys. They don't take no for an answer
You know that.
Well, no, no.
No, it means nothing to them.
It means absolutely nothing at this age.
You didn't unteach their toxic masculinity.
Oh, it's been brewed into them.
Are you kidding?
All he's been doing is he's created little monsters.
They're the essence of toxicity.
Yeah.
That's what they're full of.
He's already reaping what he hasn't even sown.
I thought VR was daycare for women.
You know, you slap that hood on the bitch.
Here you go, here's a big weird alien dog
for you to fuck around with.
I got a bookstore in VR that every book
is a story about a bookstore.
Here you go, go nuts, one portal,
it's the phantom zone for you.
I slapped the one in the kid, like,
oh, this will be the same.
Here you go, motherfucker, bam!
Takes some VR on you, pow!
Yeah. Which one did you put that VR on you, pow! Yeah.
Which one did you put that on?
The older one.
Yeah.
It turns, VR turns into a wall scuffing machine.
Oh no.
That's what it is.
He's pinwheeling around.
The grid is screaming inside virtual reality to stop.
You're gonna fuck, hey, idiot.
Stop pinwheeling around.
You're too close to a wall.
Ah, fuck it.
I really need to throw this stick.
Crash, fuck, baaah. So, I're too close to a wall. Ah, fuck it, I really need to throw this stick. Crash, fuck, bap.
Should've put another game on.
Nothing is safe.
I should've put boxing gloves on him.
Yeah.
Here's what I would like to know.
When does dad find time to fuck?
I don't know.
Not possible.
I don't know.
Not possible.
I started the day, I started the day yesterday
with a libido to speak of.
Right?
Ooh, checking out that ass.
First day of summer.
All right.
Afternoon.
Fucking is my game.
Sean, some people like it in the morning.
Yeah.
Afternoon.
I'm a five, I'm a seven on that.
Some people like it late at night.
Not my cup of tea.
I'll take it, but I'm more of a three or four in that afternoon.
That's when I like it, afternoon.
So as you could imagine, 80s girls, teacher schedule
is very, it's tough for me.
I have to adjust my penis schedule.
A woman with a career
is very, it causes a lot of trouble
for a man with a midday penis craving.
Yeah.
Is it penis craving?
Yeah, wait a minute.
No, that could be it.
Let me put the comma in the penis craving.
Okay.
Penis comma craving.
Craving ellipses.
ellipses penis.
You fill in the rationalized penis craving.
Oh, that makes it worse.
First day of summer, I'm Oh, that makes it worse. Uh, first day of summer
I'm thinking, Oh man, finally, finally I can get my afternoon delight in here, right? Just
I'll just we just put the kids in a closet or something for an hour or something like that.
Oh, some kids are raised in closets. I mean, they should be lucky to get out and run around a little
some kids in China just have a slab to sit on. You got all these extra walls in here.
Enjoy them.
You could try to climb up.
Yeah.
Pillow put a dog bed on the floor.
Figure out cool.
It's like in a escape room.
There's tons of cool games in here.
Just knock them all down and make your own game.
Tittly Wink's battleship.
There you go.
Got it, didn't everybody?
Yeah.
Didn't work out.
It gets around to dinner, reading stories.
It comes around to bed time, man. It comes around to bedtime, man.
I got, like I said, the stories read.
Oh, they gotta read the stories.
Yeah.
They gotta read the stories and they get real,
they get real nut kicky when the sleep starts to come in.
Yes.
They get real wiggly and kicky and every kick
is aimed right for those testicles.
Then after that, I just can't,
I need some kind of an exosuit,
like army disability machines,
strap to my hips to get this fuck going on right now.
Oh, you got some kind of a, yeah,
with little hydraulics or servos or something.
Yeah, I need some kind of a fuck assist device.
Every dad,
what you need is a biomedical engineer.
If you wanna get your dad something for Father's Day,
if you got a new dad in your life,
you need to get him one of the DARPA invented suits
that they have for the crippled people,
or the people with the legs that don't work,
that only is a heat seeker for that honey pot.
Do you know what I'm saying?
He's got nothing in him.
That is a lot to ask of the young dad to drive at home. Do you know what I'm cause he's got nothing. That is, that is a lot to ask of the young dad
to drive at home.
Do you know what I'm saying?
That's what, that's what every dad,
I'll tell you how exhausted.
I'll tell you what else has fucked dad.
I'll tell you what else.
Every video game that the kids have
has a built in fucked this game.
Make it, make it so easy that the kids don't even have to play it
it's over in 40 minutes mode every game has a pussy mode. I said you're not in you're shaking your head every
fucking game. I even I have heard of this like easy mode. It's like pussy mode. Yeah, you plug it in.
You plop down $59 for this game put it it in, kid loads up, invincibility mode.
I'm watching these kids play.
They're just too little Yoshi's flying around
at the top of the screen,
participating in none of the obstacles,
not dying once, unlimited continues.
So how is this, why did I spend $50 for them to play them,
for them to watch a movie that has no plot.
Yeah, they don't have to do anything.
Dad gets fucked with the downloadable content.
Kids get pussy mode so they're through the game right away.
Once again, once again Nintendo has fucked his fucked dad once again.
Hmm.
Plus I got hermit crabs.
It's a damn shame.
I know. In the bedroom. Wait, wait, wait, wait, you have hermit crabs. It's a damn shame. I know, in the bedroom.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, you have hermit crabs?
Yeah, these girls stumped.
They have to bring hermit crabs from home.
These girls had a class pet.
Oh, yeah.
You don't happen to have that pet over summer.
Yeah, that's pretty much means
that I, because the kids couldn't be trusted with some crabs.
So somehow the crabs ended up here with the proviso that they'd not be in the bedroom
because they make too much noise.
They'd like to crawl around and yeah, you hear them clicking and they're like, I always,
you know, I identify as someone that's two hours ago, right?
So she hits the bed, she goes to bat at 10.
Temporal disability.
That's eight o'clock for me.
Yeah.
I'm up dicking around on my phone,
getting Marble Madness thumb on Twitter,
trying to thread the line between being funny
and getting banned while I've got the alien from signs
next to my bed, clacking his thumbnails on the side of a glass,
because these little motherfuckers get their claws
and climb up all fucking night.
Yep.
I remember them.
You remember them?
Had a Miss Kid.
You had crabs before?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I knew it, I knew it as soon as she said
that she's getting him for the class.
She was like, oh, great, I can't wait to have this bet. At least, at least a cuddly one.
Right. Well, not a freakish, weird, pron alien, please.
Yeah. You ever seen him out of their shells?
No. I don't want to see them out.
No, you don't want to see him out of their shells.
Never. But I have to.
Okay, I'll tell you what else makes me a rage.
You see that flag burning is back? But I have to. Okay, I'll tell you what else makes me a rage.
You see that flag burning is back? No.
You see anything about that?
No, I think Trump tweeted about it today,
passing a law somewhere.
This is it.
I didn't know this was still controversial.
Yeah, I didn't know that we had all been kicked
in the head by a mule in the last couple of years.
So I was pretty sure that we were all on the same page
that burning the flag is what gives it the power
and that it's, and that seeing a man have an opinion
about burning a piece of cloth made in China
that by the way, the design looks like shit.
Like if the most autistic person in the world
were to design a flag, it would be the United States flag.
Well, I got all the, I counted all the states
and I counted all the colonies.
Good job.
That's funny.
Maybe make it a little more about, you know,
something that's inspiring when you look at,
don't rely on the context in the backstory
to give your art project some impact.
Nobody wants to read a history book
to know why the flag looks like that.
Yeah, put it on here from another country.
Why don't you write it on the back?
Oh, this represents the,
one of the dumbest, shittiest looking flags in the world
for a grown man to be upset that this is being burned
as a akin to a hysterical woman screaming about losing her,
losing her it losing her
eighty dollar three hundred and eighty dollar engagement ring down the toilet
get the fuck over yourself yeah the symbol is only powerful because it can be
burned right it is the right it is the right wing version of every single word
that we are not allowed to use oh I, I'm allowed to burn the US flag
because I don't use a hard R when I'm burning it.
That's how I work.
I'm burning it.
It doesn't work when you sell it out.
Burning it.
I cannot believe that I'm seeing these hysterical
–Burn the flag. –Patriots
having throwing bitchfits, Trump, and in front of them all.
–Yeah, bunch of Elmer Fudds.
About burning a fucking flag.
Burn it all day.
And you know what?
Fine.
It's illegal to burn the flag.
Here's the new flag.
It's a picture of your mom.
It's a picture of whosever mom that your picture,
that you yourself are looking at
and the way we protest on it is by coming on it.
Make that illegal.
It's gonna be, I'm gonna, it's gonna be a picture of your mom.
We'll do Trump's mom, that's fine.
Whoever's gonna pass the law.
New, new flag, picture of your mom
that we're gonna hook up a bad dragon horse cock
of fake jizz that comes on it all day every day
until it looks like a lemon meringue pie. Jesus Christ.
Fuck you.
You give one, you give them...
Well, there's another thing I can't eat because of this show.
I get so sickening to see.
It's so sickening to see anybody having a pin.
You know, oh, well, you can't burn them.
Why would you want to burn the flag?
Because it makes, because it makes hysterical vaginas out themselves as the frauds they are.
That's why you-
Fuck the flag!
It's nothing!
It's nothing!
That's why it's such-
That's why it looks like shit!
That's why we make underwear out of it in clean-exes!
You think this is so-
That's so funny!
Because that's-
This country is built by people who don't have sticks up their asses!
Yeah?
That's why! No! Fuck the flag! their asses. Yeah. That's why.
No.
Fuck the flag.
Fuck you.
Totally right.
It's powerful because you can burn it.
You take, and we do, we make fucking underwear out of it.
You make underwear.
You're hilarious.
You shit in it.
Nice skid marks on it.
Yeah, exactly.
You get on it.
Routinely.
You fucking babies.
Especially around the holidays.
Lots of shit in American flag underwear.
Yeah, put it on the front of a ketchup bottle.
Oh, it's freedom, cat.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, great.
Wow, look at all the respect.
So much fucking respect.
Right.
Like, I think some guys are married to it.
Yeah.
They respect the flag more than they respect their wife.
It's disgusting.
Let me see if I, isn't it though?
Yeah, I agree.
Oh, you can't burn it.
Well, what do you mean?
This is, this is, we've been, we've been getting fucked
by this for years with all these stupid words you can't say.
How is this worse?
What if I, you know what?
Okay, make it illegal.
I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna sit on my computer all day
and delete copies of JPEGs of the American flag.
Go test.
That's what I'm gonna do, oh, delete, delete.
I'm gonna go in virtual reality
and make an entire Minecraft server
that's just the American flag
and then torch it all day every day and play it on repeat.
Ha, fuck is that different?
You boomer, fucks, you foot loose, fucks.
Ah, fuck. There's a movie reference that almost nobody's gonna get. You fucks, you foot loose fucks. Huh. Foot.
There's a movie reference that almost nobody's gonna get.
Yeah, that's why they've...
They have glitter in your beard, by the way, too.
I do, let me show you the way.
That's why they've become your left side
where your mustache meets your beard.
Goddamn my post-refoes.
Roadwage Vegas, can't wait.
No shit, it's post-refoes.
Post-refoes is to be there. You're
making me pay for a flight in for you. I wasn't going to make a pay for it. You're never
mind. Never mind. I said that. I did that out. Honestly, I was like, I can't go on Thursday,
but you got to get in early on Friday. We're going to machine gun range. I know it's going
to be better than work. I should do it. I know. It's going to be better than work. I promise you it's going to be better than work.
It's just a weird fucking week. Yeah. Let me see what else I got here about the flag. I know I wrote
some down. Yeah. It's really, I guess, is that's why the Nazi compare. That's why Nazis will never
go away like the pejorative. Yeah.
Nazis, because they just, they nailed it both ways.
They had it for the, for the ultra left and ultra progressives, they had it all figured
out and the ultra conservatives.
They also had it figured out.
All the, all the, all the social welfare systems, yep, a number one, all of the insane,
militaristic, everyone who needs
nationalists, yeah,
an ultra nationalist,
they had that for you too.
Do they have like a lot of social programs?
Oh God, yeah.
That's one thing.
If you were,
here's how I haven't looked into like
that part of it that much.
Like here's how I think of it.
Yeah.
If you were German, they were socialist. Yeah. If you were German,
they were socialist. Yeah. If you were a Jew, they were right way. And so yeah, a simple way to look at the Nazis. Yeah. Why you're right. Such an effective pejorative because both parties
are it, you give them a little bit, one little inch of, one little inch of wiggle room and all of a
sudden, but we got a, we got a band burning the flag. Yeah, go, go, go, you motherfuckers.
You going right back to the 80s?
I have some funny stuff fun.
I got some funny stats.
Oh, stats, oh god, it's graduation time too.
So it is.
So it is.
And I'm gonna wait till Sof calls in to talk about graduation.
Oh yeah, yeah.
She's more age appropriate, right?
There's just, what is she like, 14, 15? I think she's 14 now. Yeah, she's calling in. She got, um,
school sent out a, I guess, an apology about her videos calling her hate speech.
Oh yeah. The principal. Is that yeah? Yeah. I emailed her principal out about it too. I probably
shouldn't have done that, but I don't do it. I mean, did you identify as someone who would email a
principal that day?
Yeah, I did.
There you go.
Okay.
I was drinking either.
And I put it in the ass.
And I put it in the ass.
Okay, well that's also, you can't be held when you're not
drinking, you can't be held responsible for any decision you
make.
You're clearly not of sound mind.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So we'll wait to talk about all the abuelas that everyone's
getting to meet this graduation. Yeah, the abuela. You don't know my abuela. She doesn't know you.
Yeah. They should just have a computer doing all the graduation speeches.
God, yeah. You're insufferable. They should lock all the administrators
They should lock all the administrators in a room or all or yeah, and have them compete to see who gets to give the speech every year
Like have them all have how do you compete?
Okay, so the end of the year you get all the admin at every school together Yeah, you have them eat a cake and you hide a key it. And they're so fat and gluttonous, they'll inhale it.
Yeah, yeah.
Then you say, one of you has a key that unlocks this room
to get out of here for graduation.
Right before graduation, you lock them all up.
You say, one of you has a key inside you
to get out of here, to give the speech a graduation
to get all that attention.
Cause I know, I mean, you couldn't,
no one could ever possibly give a graduation speech
two years in a row and still feel like
wasting everyone's fucking time is a good,
is something that they're doing for anyone else
but themselves, right?
Sure.
Why not do it every day then?
Every day, have a graduation for,
have a graduate every Friday and give a big,
give a big speech
about how bright the future is.
How bright the weekend will be.
And how good of a job you did,
because that's basically what you're saying
by talking about how prepared these kids,
oh look at how great of a job we did,
preparing these kids for a world that we also destroyed.
So do they have to disembowel each other to get the keys?
Well, they're, they're figured out.
I mean, they're pretty much they could do whatever they want.
We'll have purge rules.
No laws.
You hide like a bunch of crazy laxatives
like around the room.
They force freedom to each other.
Yeah.
And start jumping on each other's stomachs.
And that'll be the graduation video.
Which everybody could watch at home on a live stream.
And they don't have to go, I'll pay for that.
They don't have to go subject their friends and family.
And most importantly, the kid,
yeah, to this dog and pony show.
You couldn't give less of a fuck.
Couldn't give less of a fuck.
They're always outside, fucking brutally hot.
How many fucking brutally hot graduations have you been to in your life?
Several. I have had been to several.
Yeah, mine and my sisters and I refuse to go to my college graduation.
It's absolutely fucking not.
I'm not doing this to everyone involved that I've here.
No, it's like what I said.
I don't feel like an asshole for doing that, but.
It's like what I said a while ago about weddings.
Like your close friends, you should let off the hook.
Yeah.
You get, you want the people who,
you don't really give a fuck about there to buy you presents.
Invite all the people you hate to your wedding.
Your boss.
Yeah.
Your mother-of-law.
You're, let your close friends off the hook.
It's like, ah, you know what?
We'll all go out to dinner sometime.
Yeah.
Don't make them fucking travel.
Don't make them buy you shit.
You see, it's because, got this all wrong.
People are thinking about this all backward.
The human being is like a buffalo that is used
every bit of them from the moment they're born,
or their moment they're conceived,
from the moment that they're a clump of cells that doesn't resemble human being anyway.
To the moment that they die and even after they're dead and when not when they're decay as
they're decaying, they're used to get attention for other people.
You've got the baby shower, the registry, the gender fucking announcement with a cake
that has a secret color in it that they're not revealing in advance. That's a, that's
kind of a relatively new one, isn't it? Well, they're filling in the gaps here. They're
and they are. And now you've got at the other end, you've got funeral selfies. You've got
mapping the grave songs. It's just all of life is about awards for most hilarious photo with a corpse.
Ringing attention.
A corpse pose.
Yes.
Remember, that was just a weird thing in the 1800s or, you know, and I was like, sometimes
the only picture that would exist of a person is when they were dead.
And the family would gather around and, you know, because pictures, not everybody had
a fucking camera at home.
So yeah, and you had to say really still,
so you could only do it if you were dead.
Yeah, you did, and they, yeah, they have their eyes open
and made up and the family be really close,
it's fucking creepy, it's like that person
is fucking putrefying right now.
Believe me, I've seen a fucking putrefying body,
right, right, right, close,
because I found my uncle when he was dead.
Oh God.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's not a, it's not a, it's, yeah, it's very weird.
It's very weird.
What was the most striking thing about it?
How bloated and purple people get at a certain stage?
Like grimace?
Just, actually, it's crazy.
It looks just like grimace.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I think I told stuff to, I told sof to call in.
Let me see if she's here.
All right.
Let's talk to Sof and then I've got some more millennial dad stats and stuff about socialism.
Hey, Sofie there.
Hey, yeah.
Oh my God.
Sof, what a, what an end of year you've had.
Oh, yes, definitely.
You got a school now? Yeah, what a end of year you've had. Oh, yes, definitely.
You got a school now?
Yeah, I am out of school.
So I can, I can talk about it everything freely.
I don't have to walk on eggshells.
Uh, no.
Yeah, why would you have to walk on eggshells?
Well, it was just the situation with the school was
they were getting a lot of harassment from the kit.
Like, well, a certain vocal minority of the kids,
who were just annoying them and trying to call me a Nazi,
trying to get me expelled.
So essentially it would be like,
if I did something that was provocative,
the kids would go to the school
and then the school would have to harass my parents about it.
So I was just trying to lay low about it
because my parents have jobs.
Like they can't be on the phone answering the principal all day.
God damn, I see.
Yeah, who doesn't have a job?
Yeah, exactly.
This all started because of your, it was your,
the video where you were you in a, you were in a hijab, right?
Yes.
What was that called?
Did I see that one?
Be not afraid.
Be not afraid.
That was a great video.
Is that the one where you said that an Uber was on the way and you were going to shoot
Susan, Susan, Jackie, or Steve?
You do parental discretion advised.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let me try to walk this through the timelines.
You've done so much funny stuff.
Thanks.
Yeah.
That video got deleted.
Oh, yeah.
I know what it was.
Blockhead Bernstein. Yeah. Bern video got deleted. Oh, yeah, I know what it was. Blockhead Bernstein.
Yeah, Bernstein.
Huh.
The same reporter who fucked over Sam Hyde.
Yeah.
That guy wrote an article about Solve to try to get her scalp on his trophy case.
And that, go ahead.
That's pretty much what started all because the way that kids hear about things nowadays
is Snapchat.
So they were circulating, the Buzzfeed article got on Snapchat somehow and it started
circulating throughout the school widely, like the day after it was released, because
other articles started coming out.
So then it was circulated around Snapchat and of course, like the
politically correct people had problems with what I was saying because they thought that all I did
was make fun of Muslims and black people and they thought I was being serious. So they like
started harassing me around school. It seems like people like that, when you make fun of them directly,
they just think you're talking about black people.
Or Muzz looks like,
if you make fun of the whatever SJW,
whatever you wanna call them,
like these white liberal morons,
you could walk up, right?
You could walk up to their face and go,
you're a giant pussy and you're stupid and I hate you.
And they'll go, I can't believe that person,
he's black people so much.
Why would they think,
why would they say such a thing?
Yeah, that article is fucked.
And then that got your video deleted.
And then that got your principle involved, right?
Yeah, essentially.
It also sort of got the police involved
because I guess people were calling up
the local police station saying,
oh my god, this girl has a luger
and she's gonna shoot up a school,
like stuff like that.
So they said, I had a loogear
and I was gonna kill Susan, whatever.
So yeah, what was your exact quote?
No, it's funny, you're the most excited.
I'm like, you got about seven minutes.
Cause you got seven minutes to draft up a will
cause I'm calling an Uber, I'll be there.
So I'm like that.
So Sean, it says, who is she threatening?
Susan Horstith, the woman who is the CEO of YouTube.
Only because she let Sergey Brin
and that other loser build Google in her garage.
So they gave her the, they gave her the fiefdom
of YouTube in real payment.
And she has no idea what she's fucking doing.
It's the same woman that being monkey.
As though she was, now, do they think that you were predicting the murder?
Do they think that that threat was live or that you edited it
and then posted it knowing that that would be the time the uber was ordered
and that you were on your way to killer?
That doesn't make sense to me, right?
Like, if you're gonna make a death threat, that's live.
I'm gonna be there in seven minutes, click, hang up.
But this is an edited video, Sean.
So clearly she did not show up in the a lot of time.
Right, right.
Because it takes more than seven minutes
to process, for YouTube to process.
Yeah, what time is it no longer a threat?
You've got this dumb horse, this dumb horse bitch
is at a conference where a full-grown man is
reading
Sof's line to her
Pretending that it's a real death threat. Yeah. Yeah, and Susan horse
Teeth is horse bitch or horse teeth funny her I don't know what's her last name? Oh
Polish wajekki. Yeah. Yeah Susan whackedack-Jell, like as it doesn't matter.
Well, she's sitting there talking like a valley girl.
Have you heard her talk, Sof?
Oh, yeah.
I saw that clip.
I was losing my shit over it.
I thought it was so funny that my dumb ass lines got straight to her.
Let me play it just so everybody knows that.
Yeah.
I want to, okay.
I want to see this check too.
I hope it's right away. I hope it's right week. Oh yeah.
Sean, everybody's got to know about it.
Good for you, Soph.
Yeah.
And so, sorry, I teams were caught up on that,
but that really had been next on our list.
So we have a higher standard in consistency.
So you spend a bunch of time looking at that.
Come to you at some point, they say,
we don't think this is violent if you say,
we agree, we announce that.
Here we go, I got it. Thank you, who sent this to me? Thank you, Antoids. Thank you. Okay. Here we go. This is Susan with John Keyes. With John Key? Yeah. It's not really your last
name. Yeah. With John Key. With John Key, the donkey. That's what they call it. There you
go. Yeah.
Let's feed, wrote about a creator with some popularity
who made a series of problematic videos.
He's actually a more problematic.
Yeah, offensive videos.
One of them was a death threat aimed at you.
You took down that video, another video.
Her channel is still up,
which brings me back to this sort of whack-a-mole
where you guys are sort of sifting through.
Look at how serious she is.
A death threat, Sean. I got an Uber and I've got a gun. I'll be there in seven minutes.
Are you fucking kidding me? Uber and a Luger.
Ovidios as they come to your attention and saying, this one's a problem. This one is okay.
This one threatened to kill me, but she can still stay on the site.
How do you feel about having her name is Sof?
How do you feel about having her own laughing?
Well, so let me.
What the fuck is so funny?
I say, I mean, she's stammering.
And every single time there is a controversial video,
you really need to see the video.
And you need to understand
She does talk like a valid girl. It sounds like she's sucking a cock in the middle of this speech.
She's
She you know has a large amount of
political satire and political speech that's in her channel
The video where she made the threat to me was struck.
And we removed monetization from her channel.
Because, like I said, we have a higher bar
from monetization.
And that was an issue.
I think there's certainly different world
of threats in the video and different ways
that we would interpret it depending upon the context of who is the person and what they're saying and in many cases
we would solve the challenge.
It was a channel that was dedicated to a number of I don't know, hateful harassment, etc.
But in this case it was a large amount of political speech and so seeing in context, we struck the video room of monetization
but left the rest of the channel up.
Oh my God.
So you can't see the pearls that guys clutching
because he has them up his ass.
That's his belt of his hands, got it.
Got it.
Got it.
Okay, so after that, so I talk like a belly girl.
Yeah, that's terrible.
She talks like she's on methadone
while it's right in during the middle of the presentation.
So then your principal sent out a video calling you
a hate speech or right to everybody.
That was the thing.
Well, he sent him out.
There was a couple emails over the course of a few weeks.
But like the first thing that happened was I was called
into the office and there was like,
there's two police officers in the office.
And I was called into the office and there was like, there's two police officers in the office.
I was, and I was escorted there, first of all,
I escorted there and I walk in, there's two police officers,
I'm shitting my pants entirely because I'm like,
oh God, they got me for some sort of hate speech
or something like that.
But they just say, oh, you're not in trouble,
we just wanna ask you if you have like a ruger
or anything like that.
And if you're serious about your threats or if you have like a ruger or anything like that. And if you're serious
about your threats or if you really hate Muslims and gay people, stuff like that.
Do you? No. Who escorted you to the principles? Did the hall monitor come out? Some
bad. Yeah. Yeah. You're not in trouble, Sean. We just have the police here in case you
happen to answer anything incorrectly.
We have a contingent of officers here who usually involve themselves in things where no one
is in trouble.
You understand?
Yeah, that's what they're using.
Sure.
Yeah, that's surreal.
And they let you out.
They believe that you didn't hate Muslims and you obviously do.
Yeah, they let me walk free.
I was glad after that.
My friends were freaking out as well.
Yeah.
Because my teacher was like hurrying me along to get out of the classroom.
Wow. Do your teachers, Casey got a gun on you or what?
Yeah. Do your teachers hate you? How many of your teachers do you think just absolutely despising all of them?
Only one of them. My science teacher thinks I'm cool because I told him that I was going on the Alex Jones
show because he was striking up a conversation.
He was freaking out about that.
He thought that was cool.
But all the other ones were, they were seething after that.
I could feel the bad energy coming from them. God damn, what a trip.
And now you got to deal with these idiots
for four more years.
Are you going back to that school?
I transferred to the school next to it
before any of this even happened
because it's alternative school
where I can put, I do most of my work at home.
Oh, that's cool.
I also read the kids were like spitting on you at school.
Is that true?
Nobody spit on me, but it was a couple of kids
who threw water on me.
The last day was the best because it was this,
it was this black kid who got all triggered.
He was like, he was in my vicinity going like,
you nasty because he was the first person
who came up to me and he didn't confront me.
Of course, he talked to my friends first, but he was walking.
So to respond, I went, dude, you got mustard on your shirt.
What are you doing walking around drenched and mustard?
Yeah.
Continue going down that line of logic.
And finally, when I got to my class because we're walking through the hallways, my God
bless, dude.
And he chucks his cup of tea at me.
He was drinking a cup of tea.
Yes.
That's the funniest part of this whole thing.
Really?
So, he was drinking a cup of tea.
He missed her with the watermelon.
Oh, Jesus.
What did they do to him?
Did they throw him in jail?
It was the last day. I don't think he got punished for it. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. What did they do to him? Did they throw him in jail?
It was the last day, I don't think he got punished for it.
I wish I could see a security footage though
because I just stood there and the like the tea hit my legs
and like this is funny.
I mean, this is school.
Like this is, it's the only time
where you can just be violent and get away with it.
It never happens.
No one at work ever throws tea at you
because they saw your YouTube video,
right? Yeah. I'm sure if I called them something, if I called them like a moole, I would
have been in the office immediately. You're fucking Italian gangsta. Yeah, where did you
learn that one? But you know, he can do physical violence and nobody really cares.
Yeah, I really, I hate that about school.
They're so up there on ass,
but like that's the only time
that you will have to be afraid for your physical safety.
That in prison, just public school in prison,
the two places that the state runs
are where there's a lot of physical violence.
Where's where you should get used to it
and plan a strategy to avoid it.
What did your parents think about all this? I mean, you said your dad's a Hillary voter
last time.
Yeah. Well, they don't care. They didn't care as much about my content as just being bothered.
They just want to be left alone. Yeah. I bet. And you texted me that they had to reprint
your yearbooks
because somebody...
Oh yeah, it's okay.
They sent an email around which I was psyched about.
So we have, there's a feature of me in the yearbook,
along the side of the page.
And the yearbook is like $110, it's crazy.
But there was a feature of me on the side of that came from an interview that the school
paper did of me in the beginning of the year.
And I guess some kids must be complaining about it because they had to send an email
around of like, oh, we have a feature of a hate based content in the yearbook.
We don't support this content. If you want like a
reprint, come to the office. We'll cover it up for you. You can't cover it up on your own.
You bring it to the office. They'll have somebody there to cut the page out. It's so offensive that
you might just randomly flip open to that page and see something that they self, they're like editing her out of pictures,
Joseph Stalin style.
Yeah, they're already like millions of dollars in debt
and they're spending more money to do this.
Right.
Again, we are incapable of solving actual problems
because this is what we're concerned about.
Yeah, it really is.
On both sides now, I'm convinced with the stupid flag
burning shit, it really is. On both sides now, I'm convinced with the stupid flag burning shit.
It really is true.
Well, shit.
So if I'm glad you made it through,
I'm glad you're at the end of the year now
where you can talk again,
or where you will talk again.
I don't know, you do anything for summer?
Pretty much just doing this if I can.
I mean, I got, I uploaded,
I re-apploated, being out afraid
and I uploaded my new video, Greta,
and they got both lumped into one strike.
If I get another strike, my channel's gone,
but I don't think I can upload for like...
Three strikes. Three strikes, and she goes on a newbert tour.
I might do the new year.
Yeah, Susan, she keep my channel up,
and maybe I'll stay at home instead.
But, um,
Greta, you made me do this.
I might be on,
I might be on bitch shoot and Patreon exclusively
if they decide to take me off,
but I don't think it's in their best interest
because people are gonna cause so much trouble
for them if they terminate my channel.
I don't know,
I think they're gonna ramp up all this censorship before 2020.
Yeah, I think so.
I don't,
because I don't, I think YouTube works best
without you.
Like, it is a platform for advertising.
YouTube is QVC for the lowest common denominator.
Like, the ultimate black pill of college graduations
is that all of those fat clapping slabs enjoy this.
Everyone participating in this enjoys it and wants more.
They want to go from that to watching positive reviews about Marvel movies and having links
to purchase products presented to them so they could click on them with their knuckle like
a chimpanzee from home.
That is the function of YouTube.
And you being there is kind of like a turd in the ointment,
a turd in the punch bowl.
If the one flying the ointment, flying the ointment,
pain in their ass.
Yeah, but you're funny.
You're on Alex Jones for God's sake.
How that could be?
Yeah, that was insane.
I was freaking out about that.
That was crazy.
But it was fun. Certainly an achievement.
Yeah. Anything make you a ridge?
Sonsorship pretty much at this point. I don't have ads since anyways, but it still makes me angry
when I get the strikes because of just how blasphemous it is. Yeah. I agree with you. All right,
so thank you. Thanks for calling it. Trying to get anything for self sorry? We started we stuck you with Digi Brawl last time
Thanks, Robin Beyond. Yeah, but I got to talk about I got to talk about Tifa's
Tits and Final Fantasy and I feel really uncomfortable doing that with the teenager. Yeah
Yeah, all right. Let's protect her from the real dangers. Yeah
Society of in-sale of manlet and of sorry men like me
who basis, you know, who are actually wounded
that their teenage wife foods
or had their measurements reduced in a remake.
All right.
So damn, cry and shame.
I've embarrassed myself enough already.
Okay.
Get out of here, so thank you.
All right, see ya.
See ya. Reprint get out of here. So thank you. All right. See you. Yeah.
Reprinting the yearbook.
It's the only way. It's the only way to have fun is to fuck with the people who run your life, right? Like every kid in every school, if there's
one thing that they need, if they get a graduation speech,
I want a pre-starting school speech,
where it's just, look guys, you can't go to jail
because your minors, everybody who works at your school,
the teachers, society doesn't give a fuck about them.
Look at the news, look at all of their protests
for how they deserve to be paid more and they're paid like
shit and everybody's like, shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up and get back to work.
All of us regard them as babysitters financially.
It doesn't matter the lip service we give them.
That's our opinion of them collectively.
It's true.
Do whatever you want.
Turn them into comedy for your personal amusement and there will be no repercussions
because we don't give a fuck.
Go nuts.
That's true.
Our actions show that we really don't give a fuck.
And you gotta know this.
You gotta learn it.
And please, please go do whatever you want.
Flip their cars over.
They're insured.
We don't care.
We're not sending you to jail.
I'm a a song.
I'm all worked up, Sean.
Yeah.
Well, I love so.
She's fantastic.
This is called 290.
This is Ely Arson,
Oh.
And it'll be opening up Vegas.
Yeah.
With this, yeah.
Hot damn.
Hot damn is right.
I'm saying this. with us, yeah. Hot damn. Hot damn is right. Better than money, better than money, bitch Better than money, better than money, bitch Better than money, better than money, too
90, you only do 90, too
100, 90, you only do 90, too
100, 90, you only do 90
You only do 90, you only do 90, that's the dollar's bet
Don't make me captain slap a hole
Have the rest, miss
Let's take it slow, I treat my ladies real nice to know
But there's a money that you owe
Take your purse out swiftly, let's count the pennies
I'll take you to your bike after a word outside of Denix
A damn end game is strong, got silver podcast Bitch, I am King Cole, a star you'll service to me I'm saying is bitch better at my money
Oh
I'm saying is if you put me in a self defense situation
Alex
You're a gun on you right now, do you not a California though? I should have frisd you before you coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here.
I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. I'm coming in here. The pussy mode in video games.
Yeah, it's real annoying man.
Not known about that.
It's like, what's the, what,
how do you feel like you've accomplished anything?
You just wanna get to the end?
Yeah, you just wanna see everything in the game.
Just watch a YouTube video, right?
And I just stop $50.
So you could pretend to be a flying Yoshi flying over
everything like you know.
A YouTube video videos better because maybe
so they're playing it on hard mode probably.
You can see it's a cool shit.
Exactly.
This is just a lot of work going into designing these traps that you're just flying over.
Right.
Did you hear about Saker, bro?
What's that?
It's a game that came out without an easy mode and the entire gaming community had a meltdown
over it.
Because it was hard.
There was a petition that they needed to create a DLC and release it with an easy mode.
Instant fucking gratification.
The best part is they were all saying it's not because they couldn't play it.
It's because it made the game inaccessible to disabled people.
That's a way funnier reason.
I miss games like Battledo's from Nintendo that actually took skill to play.
Yeah.
One our God, one day, I say,
I guess I use the term God loosely,
but it's going to be a disabled,
all races, all genders, homunculus,
that's gonna wheel out of a stargate
and just thank all these people
for always thinking of Jim.
Yeah, it's like, oh, thank you.
He's got no little bitty arms.
I can't run at all, can't park, whatever.
Every single race, but not in a mixed way.
They're all separate inside of genetically.
And he's gonna thank all of these fucking weirdos
for always standing up for him all this time.
Let's see what else I got here.
You're gonna read some, some, oh no, I got Millennial Dad stats.
Here's a stats for you, Sean.
Are your favorite whipping people?
You know, people get that impression.
What, I feel that I whip on millennials.
No, no, no, no, I'm talking about,
oh, I thought you said boomer dads.
Boomer dads are ahead in this one.
This is a Millennial Dad send up.
Oh, gotcha. And I wanna blame the lack of home ownership on this, but I really can't blame it. It's a
survey. Millennial dads report not owning a here. Okay, here we go. How many millennial
dads do you think report owning a hammer? We're talking about 32% yeah. All right. Smart ass. I know. Unlike the FBI. Yeah.
32% is all right. I'm actually I'm surprised it's that high. One third. Although you know what?
Talk about it. There's hammer. It's a big it's a big country. There you know what I mean? Like I
forget not everything is California. This is millennial dads.
Yeah.
In the whole country.
Yeah.
32%.
I don't know how, I mean, I don't know how accurate that is.
Who grew up with dads who probably own hammers or maybe a workshop or at least a, at least
a toolbox and a work bench.
Cordless drill, 46% a step ladder, 50%.
This is an item owned by 93% of boomer dads.
Maybe you go through enough father's day
to eventually get one.
A step ladder.
Yeah, yeah, home depot sends you wanna try to trick you into it.
To change a car, how many think they could change a tire
on the side of the road?
Yeah.
63% of millennial dads.
Think they're up to the challenge.
That's not easy mode on changing your car tire, I guess.
Dude, I did it.
I did it like a month ago.
That's not even like have you.
It's Ken.
Do you think you could do it?
Yeah, right.
You think you're up for this task.
And that's not all millennials.
That's just the dad's.
Yeah.
No, that's qualified to do it.
That's it.
That's embarrassing.
How do you think they work?
So you can't fuck it up.
Like it's like it versus 80% of boomers.
I assume that the other 20% of boomers are too crippled to do it.
Even though they're probably all too crippled to do it to be honest.
Yeah, well, stop a, let's see, reset a tripped circuit breaker.
Half, half think they could do that.
Jumpstart a car.
You just push it in.
Jumpstart a car.
63%.
Jesus.
You just, what?
This is jumpstarting a car.
They're up, they're up to the task.
Um,
fix a broken doll or action figure, 59%.
Or do they call them do the 40% of people in this just call the police when stuff like this happens
What the hell could I ask you these and get a no like I don't know I don't know the answer is always yes
Of course I could do that you keep these nose to yourself
Are you asking to be cheated on?
You kind of give the kids somebody to respect.
I don't know, it's a millennial dad's,
but it's just like my wife's son's situation.
It must be.
I don't think the problems that they can't
is that they're willing to admit
that they don't think they can do this.
No, I can't fix it all.
The problem is that they're willing to,
they're compulsively willing to admit
in the area of shame.
There's no shame. Yeah.
I agree with you.
Open a stuck pickle jar with your hands.
Oh God, I don't want to know this.
I am the all-time world champion of opening stuck jar lids.
I believe you got big genetic hands though.
No, they're not that big.
They're just fucking like strong.
I can open fuckers.
They're not that big.
You're like that trans MMA fighter
in the Fallen Fox with that hand.
I have skinny wrists.
That's why my hands look so big. Your hands are huge. They're not you're like that trans MMA fighter. I have a talent box with that. I have skinny wrists. That's why my
hands look so big. Your hands are huge. They're not that big.
Let's get a see how big they are on the fuck.
For me with that. How big mine hands don't go all the way
around. I have a little tiny Trump hands. I don't either.
Let's see. I can tell you for sure. Let's prove it. Let's see
how normal size your hands are not gigantic on this rubber
cock. Give me that. See, this is why I had so go away. Yeah, right. Look, you're making
look. They don't go around. They're making it at a funny angle too. They go all the way
around. Yeah, they fit all the way around. Look, okay. To the head. They fit all the way
around. Like a fucking bass. Yeah, okay, let me see.
If your hands fit around an average side's penis, they're huge.
Here, I want to hand it to you, you know, yeah.
That's how you do it.
Yeah, say, hand somebody a sharp object.
That's safety.
See, I'm straining.
My knuckles are turning white trying to get my hands around this cock.
And you are doing it in this fucking weird way to try to disguise the size of your hands.
No, it's not as weird. Instead of straight across like that. That's your hands are like a
minuscule amount smaller than mine. That matters. What was I gonna say? Oh yeah.
Open a stuck pickle jar. 60% of Millennial dads feel that they're up to that
challenge. Like and it doesn't even have to be like a feat of
don't you have the police calling the police every time
it doesn't anybody know the fucking tap the thing with a
butter knife like a damn man.
What an under fucking really hot water.
Do they know things like that?
Do they know any kind of physics?
You know that it expands right?
You got a stuck pickle jar lid.
They are imagining a jar, they can't open.
That's what weirds me out about it.
You accomplish anything.
If you don't think you can open a stuck pickle jar,
they call their wives' boyfriends.
Yeah, exactly.
They don't know it with McGiber or with the problem.
This is a cup is half full question
and they don't know it.
Because they're not asking,
like there's no measurement of a stuck jar.
It's just, can you open a stuck
jar? So that many men are imagining a jar that they cannot open. Yeah. That's the, that's
the weirdest part of it. There's no, there's no actual jar. It's just, I know, I know.
Open a stuck jar. No. Oh, yeah. It sure couldn't. Two stuck. I can't do it. Yeah. No follow-up
questions. Here's another stat that I brought in for you.
I'll just go to the store and get another one.
I hope that's a little bit.
That's, that's got, they're done.
They're expired anyway.
Yeah.
When did they expire?
August, that's, it's close enough.
Right.
They're turning.
Four and 10 Americans prefer socialism to capitalism.
Yeah.
About that.
55% of women aged 18 to 54. That's a huge range. Yeah, prefer socialism. How much?
55% of women prefer socialism. Right. I would imagine that would the higher
percentage would be younger. Lower percentage would be older. For comparison, what percent believe in astrology? Did they ask that?
Oh, I understand.
Oh, I understand believe in astrology.
It says, yeah, that's...
Oh, by the way, quick note on chiropractic.
It's a hundred percent bullshit.
Yep.
Dude, it's a hundred percent bullshit.
A guy we never looked into.
A guy wrote in saying that he did it.
It's fucking dangerous if anything.
That's what I thought. It's potentially dangerous if anything. It's what I thought.
It's potentially dangerous.
So the spine works exactly like I thought it does then.
Yeah, you don't fix anything.
It's like, there's the original chiropractors thought that all disease and everything came
from the spine.
So if you like manipulate the spine, you can actually like prevent cancer and things like
that.
So it's like, and it basically is a little watered down from there, but not a whole, yeah.
They see it as I can cure ADD with chiropractic.
Maybe a little hand action.
Yeah.
I can cure ADD.
Yeah.
A guy wrote in saying that he did it to his baby.
His baby hasn't feeding, so they took it to the right.
They cure colic with, yeah.
And then it worked.
And he's like, yeah, well, you know, it worked, the baby started feeding after that.
I thought, man, that is.
Could be for a different reason.
Maybe it was hungry.
When you were doing it,
maybe whatever was in there resolved itself.
Like, you know, yeah, it's, yeah, go ahead.
If you go through a live or death situation,
you're gonna really enjoy every meal you have after that.
That's true.
So baby's neck, it's gonna be like,
I'm gonna eat those baby carrots.
You got some little, that's the stick.
And of it is chiropractic.
You got some weird semi-balling boomer laying on top of you working your baby muscles
out as gross.
Okay.
Got some advice.
Do you want to hear about Tifa's tits from final the final fantasy remake?
Why not? Okay, let me get your, let me get your opinion on this, Sean.
Because I'm outraged by it, but no one else is. No one else is outraged at the size of Tifa's tits
because they're so used to getting fucked over that they're just glad they got what they got.
You're okay. Yeah, a classic lower the standards.
Oliver Twist, Dickensian bargaining situation, where Tifa's tits were presented to us at
E3, and everybody is rationalizing their own impotence at not having a say in the tits and has lost the critical edge of youth and has ceded the ground to
the next generation, ceded the ground to the corporations.
Let me show you.
I think they're just excited.
She's not a trans woman.
Yeah.
That's what it's just, it's bargaining.
This where, that's all in the collective state, the stage of bargaining of the, over the
death of Tifus Tits.
And many have moved on to acceptance.
Now did they just take them away or just shrink them?
I'll show you.
Because battle toads, the evil queen remake, they took them completely away.
Well, that was fucked completely because that was run by like a blue haired trans person
who hates men and women.
Um, okay, here she is.
Here was one of the first shots.
Sean, I would like to get, I would like to get your reaction to these breasts as I revealed them.
Okay. Okay.
The pretty, I mean, they're fairly small, right?
Yes. Yeah. Okay.
Let me drag that into the window so people could see it.
This is a production shot. This is not the game shot.
I just want to specify.
I call this exhibit a exhibit a cup.
What would you call those?
What would you call those tits?
I don't know.
See, cup maybe.
At best?
Probably smaller.
That's it, yeah.
Alright, let's open another one.
Here's actual gameplay footage.
I just want to remind you that that was a still shot.
That's not the actual gameplay.
But that's the high res version of what they're going
That's the last thing effect. That's the promotional material. Gotcha. Gotcha. Here is a shot from the game
Call this exhibit B
What do you think Sean?
As I've said before they actually look like they might be a little bigger from my angle
I yeah, a weird angle, but uh-huh They actually look like they might be a little bigger from my angle. I've had a weird angle, but they actually look like
they might be a little bigger than in that promo show.
Yeah, we can call that decent.
Is that what you would call that?
I mean, I don't know, let me see.
I think it's impressive that she has a thigh gap.
I want a plus size, chief of chief of...
I mean, she has no thighs at all.
This is a martial artist.
Where does she derive her power from?
Feminism?
There's no pivot action happening with thighs like that.
It's just not possible.
Here's another shot you can see here.
Yeah, Sean.
Yep.
Decently, right?
Looks like she's in like a sports bra, I mean.
Okay, so this is what we are to believe, right?
This is the way we are to rationalize the reduction
of her breasts and the remake
is that she's in some kind of a compression top.
Not the white top, which is clearly
the one underneath.
The black compression top.
Okay, so I did a little bit of research
and I found a woman with double D.
I found several stand-ins
for to see what breasts look in a sports bra
and a compression top because that is not,
I'm not only will I not be told
that I don't know what big tits look like
in a sports bra, but if you're coming to me
and telling me that I don't know what a sports bra looks like
when there's big tits in it, you better have some,
you better have more evidence than your fucking word
backing that up, because I know what I'm talking about,
so I gathered some evidence here. I'll present it to you now. This is Hitomi Tanaka in a sports bra
Make sure I'm not broadcasting pornography on the page here, which I probably am
Let me put it in studio mode for a moment
Okay, this is exhibit D.
This is Tommy Tanaka and a sports broad.
You see how there is an overlap and a hang
and that the breasts are shoved above the bra.
And the shot, you will not see this anywhere here.
There's no bulging over the top.
This is not a magical bra that she is wearing.
It is meant to compress and it has to go somewhere.
Yeah, it's water, it can't be compressed into nothing
into a diamond, into diamond tits.
It's got to go somewhere.
Spilling over the top is the logical progression of that, right?
As we see here, here I have,
well clearly, Hitomi Tanaka has much bigger tits than whatever
you're saying, whatever the fucker name.
You're correct.
You're saying that would be too big for a video games character in this day and age.
I'm not saying, I don't know.
I'm not saying anything.
I'm saying, I think you should be able to tweak your character however you want it.
I like what you, let's give it a dad mode.
Yeah.
Kids get an easy mode. Let's give it a dad mode where you let them do whatever they want. Yeah, I'm giving shit on the back and tits mode. Yeah,
okay. Here is what you're to give her a little bit very good. Very good. You know, a little bit
less of a bus. This is Tessa Fowler in a sports bra, who is slightly more reduced bus line than
Hitomi Tnaka. Oh, yeah. You will again see. see. You will again see the overhanging shelf in the sports bra, and also the bulges on the
top, which is how it is supposed to fit.
What do you all also see, Sean?
You see this fold right here?
Yes, I do.
Going from back to down of the weight of the breast on the fabric, pushing it down.
Okay. I have further evidence for you.
I call this exhibit and I have labeled these exhibits as you can see.
Yes.
This is the Tifa remake sitting in a bar.
You will see here that there is no such, let me make sure it's on the video.
Oh, nope, it's not.
And what did she used to look like?
Bigger tits.
I'll show you in a moment.
Okay.
You will see here that there is no such...
No.
There is no such crease that comes from...
Created by weight.
To create it by weight.
Yes.
Exactly.
It is only a fabric folding in and of itself that really has nowhere to go, no direction
like that.
Now finally I want to present this.
This is a, I found a woman
who is actually cosplaying as Tifa. Okay. Who has double decup breasts. Here we go. Now
as you can see here. Yeah. This is the sports bra in question. If, if you pay attention closely
as I have been, yes, you will notice that she has no under top or compression wear or anything like that.
Yeah.
It's just a single top.
So that the addition of another covering
would in fact add a layer, a layer to the size
of the breast falsely, right?
Yeah.
So if we go back here to see, wait a minute,
oh, I definitely don't want that.
If we go back here to see that there is actually two layers here.
Right.
And that I would say definitively, the breasts in this picture are not as big as the
cosplaying girl of the same character because of that.
And also because of the shape and the bulge at the top.
That's what I was going to say.
That I'm talking about.
I think we can say that the remake is a D cup,
which is absolutely unacceptable to me.
You'd go so far as to say the remake is a D.
Is a D.
Is a large D.
This woman, I know it.
Far be it for me to challenge you on tips.
This is a woman, this woman is a double D confirmed.
And she is at least a half a cup size larger than the remake.
More than that.
More than that, I think.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So I'm not going to sit here and I'm not going to be part of the mob that is grateful
for what we get in this case.
We have been robbed and we need to riot.
You're paying the same and you're getting less.
And we're getting less, like so many things.
Exactly.
Here's the original, just so you want to know.
I think people go about these things all wrong.
Instead of protesting the change, they should protest the change not going far enough.
Let them know that the mob will never be satisfied.
Yes.
Like start a hashtag.
I want to plus size Tifa.
Yeah.
Here you go.
This is the original Sean.
Oh, yeah, sure. Far cry. Yeah. Uh, here you go. This is the original Sean. Oh, yeah, sure. Far cry. Yeah.
Absolutely ridiculous. What they tried to pull on us with this model. Would you not agree?
I'm outraged. I'm outraged. Thank you. That's all I needed just to know that I'm not going to actually get that game
and a gaming system so that I can just sit there and be pissed off every night.
so that I can just sit there and be pissed off every night. Raj knows on behalf of everyone.
Everyone's offended on behalf of someone else.
So I'm going to drive you left out.
Thank you.
That's what I'm going to do.
Be offended on the fine you have.
Let me see what else.
I got some comments here and then see if anybody, and then do voicemails.
Looks like Raj is disputing what you said about the additional covering.
You said it tamps them down more.
Then you would see, then you would see bulges.
This is my point.
If it was tamping them down more,
they would have to go somewhere.
They don't go anywhere.
It is as though it's too perfectly fitted.
Well, prove me wrong, Raj.
Is Chris not on the line or coming in or calling in?
Let me see.
No.
He hasn't responded yet.
He's probably not awake yet.
All right.
All right.
Was Officer Dickhead, what Officer Dickhead?
Agent Officer, whatever.
Agent Richard Head.
Agent Richard Head.
Yeah.
Officer Dickhead.
Was Agent Head going to look at some,
were we going to talk to him live?
Well, he was going to call in, but last week he called in
with that Yumi stuff and the blue is load.
Yeah, I don't think I can top that.
Yeah, and he's been KG, he's just been sending me
Facebook updates since then, pictures of his Facebook update.
I mean, you know, Sean, I can't,
not in charge of summoning him.
He's kind of, no, no, it's every week.
I thought we're gonna watch some old video of him
or something and get some feedback.
Oh, nothing that you, not no video that you'd wanna see.
Okay, yeah, I've heard, so I've heard.
I think you know what kind of videos he's got up to.
Yeah, I was from Eric Koalski.
Hey Dickenshawn, I'm a 21 year old dude.
Been listening since the Israel episode.
Oh, a lot of the advice I've heard on the show
has been
terrible to me. I got my first girlfriend after asking about her relationship
with her dad. Oh. And finally lost my virginity at 20 years old to her dad.
It was really weird. But unfortunately, I'm still a social retard.
You both seem like really chill dudes.
Equally, we equally seem like really chill dudes. And I was wondering if you-
It hasn't been listening closely.
I was wondering if you could give me some advice
on how to chill out.
Take it easy.
I was hoping he could tell me.
I always seem to have a stick up my ass.
You're just born with it.
People will ask me, what's wrong all the time?
Oh God, I can't answer why?
Because I really don't know.
You got to learn to fake it.
Yeah.
You're always going to feel like that.
Well, what's the difference?
Sucks.
Fucking sucks.
But he probably hasn't learned to...
If everybody's asking him what's wrong all the time,
he hasn't learned to put on the face.
Yeah.
Everybody does it. Everybody does it for's wrong all the time. He hasn't learned to put on the face. Yeah.
Everybody does it. Everybody does it for some percentage of the time.
I said that about depression
and everybody jumped down my throat.
You, look, you can be completely depressed,
but it's put your, I, but don't inconvenience everybody
with it.
For years, it's part of getting through life, sadly.
I'm always grinding my teeth or chewing gum.
Yeah.
Because I always feel anxious.
Yeah.
I'm gonna fuck up his jaw like yours with the beef jerky.
Yeah.
He keeps doing that.
Yeah.
My first and only girlfriend broke up with me recently after five months because I'm
too serious all the time and not fun to be around.
Well.
Oh, wow.
Now I have no girlfriend and no friends because I'm out of uni for
the summer and living with my parents in the middle of nowhere. The only social activity
I get is talking with the old Mexican women I work with at the deli.
Look up with them. Yeah. Actually, I've got their podres. Really, it's been like this
since I was a kid. The only times I can chill out is when I'm high,
but I don't like doing that because it doesn't feel real.
I think I may have some undiagnosed form of autism.
Oh boy, that's the wrong path to start taking.
I got a problem, you know what?
Because I got a disorder.
That's why I'm unemployed, you know why?
I got jobless disease.
Oh geez, I have a disease where I don't have a job.
That's why I know it's because you're fucking lazy.
Yeah, I mean, I must have autism.
That's why I'm pro-annoying.
Yeah, well, I think at some point, at least this was how it was for me, that you kind of learn,
because I always sweated like every detail.
Yeah.
And then you learn that it's getting evasive before you plan a big tour.
Stuff like that.
Oh, you know, I mean, whatever floats your boat.
What kind of detail is you talking about?
Well, I mean, no, just stupid shit.
Like when you're young, like it's like everything is,
I would place fairly equal importance on a lot of stuff.
And then you realize it's like,
dude, that's not a big fucking deal.
Like it's like, it seems like it seems like
this is like just stupid advice.
It just seems like he needs to learn, which is hard.
Learn how to just lighten the fuck up.
Yeah.
Not everything has to be serious all the time.
Like does he? Can he identify
anything that he thinks is fun or is fun to him? I think I may have some my undiagnosed form
of autism because I can't do banter or joke around naturally. What was he? What's his family
like? Where they had joky family? I know the reason I can fucking ramble on for days
because that's my fucking family.
Yeah.
Never shuts the fuck up.
And it's impossible for me to make friends.
I hope you guys have some advice for me.
From all the wisdom you guys have due to your many, many years of age.
Oh, fuck you.
I see what he's talking about.
I didn't ask.
He definitely is autistic. That was really offensive.
And he has no idea why that's offensive. What a prick.
Thanks for just saying that we're all fucking old and we are.
But, you know, yeah, you don't have to say it.
You have autism. Go to the doctor and get his many drugs
as you can to fix your autism. Thanks for reading my blog post.
Go fuck yourself, Sean. Have a wonderful day. I mean, you know, you fucked up. Thanks for reading my blog post to go fuck yourself, Sean.
Have a wonderful day.
I mean, you know you fucked up.
If a woman is telling you you're not fun,
if she has already fucked you and then is saying,
you're so not fun, I'm not, I regret the decision
I made giving it away, you are definitely fucking up.
If a woman is telling you that you take things too seriously,
this is what it tells me.
You are treating a woman as though she's validating your serious opinions, which is the most
pathetic thing you can be is bringing your serious reflections of life into your relationship
where you're playing tea ball.
This is if you want to bring, if you want to bring your hot, hot ideas out there,
take them to a bar where the consequence
of taking things seriously will get you made fun of
for the rest of your life.
Don't bother your girlfriend with needing
to constantly validate your big brain takes
on politics and society.
You know how much of this I talk,
you know how much of this I'm like on a day-to-day basis?
Fucking zero.
As soon as I start, you have to keep in mind,
all day, every day, that your worth is only and ever
how much joy you are bringing the people
in your immediate vicinity.
And the second any part of you start seeping out
like a virus, chop it it off pull it back do
what do a hawkah do whatever the hawkah is that well-adjusted people do where you suck that poison back into your body because nobody wants to hear it unless they're buying a ticket
They do not care what you think seriously about anything you know
It's it's really wrong.
Except for, except for very small instances, that's very true.
It's just nobody and nobody wants to be around a bummer who's, nobody wants to be around
E or E or sucks.
Yeah.
E or sucks.
And it's just, you're just, if you're, if you're bitter and sarcastic or whatever,
you're talking about politics too much. You have to do it. Yes. But you have to do it with humor.
You have to be Frank Zappa. You can't be EOR. Yeah. Um, I see that a lot, maybe the second,
this, this, this, it's where that whole man's explaining phenomenon comes in. Like, it's not, it is, it caught on
because it's a hundred percent accurate.
Guys explaining shit that the person they,
that they're talking to knows God damn well
or understood it immediately.
It happens all day, every day.
And it is the, it will immediately turn
any kind of joy into salt.
Stop doing it.
If that's the one thing, if you can't,
if what you're saying is not bringing someone,
some sort of joy doesn't need to be said.
Because the series version has been said before.
Nobody cares.
The other person needs to get something out of it.
Yeah.
Or else you are.
Yeah.
And people are very highly attuned to when they're being fucked over.
Like, I'm just taking something out of a conversation.
I mean, that happens.
Maybe there needs to be some kind of grinder, but for guys who just want to talk about serious
things all day, get on grinder and say, you know, the Reddit.
Yes.
You're right.
Imagine, hey, Dick, I recently got an offer to join
BT here in London for an apprenticeship,
like an internship, but with a university degree
at the end of three to four years.
They sent me the contract to sign,
but I have other interviews lined up next month
with better companies.
IBM in July. What's the best way to tell this company
that I can't sign the contract just yet?
Whoa, don't do that.
The program starts in September one.
I don't wanna be unprofessional.
Sign now and pull out if I received an offer
from another company.
I would like to thank you for being a great inspiration,
career, and money wise for me. He doesn't say anything about Sean. It's just me. I've mentioned in
previous emails, I'm just a spirit animal. I started listening to you and I was born
seeing, I'm going to be 20 in December. Wow. Get all of the doing out before you need to,
before you can start drinking, man, because then it's all downhill. Without your advice, I would be just another chump who thinks that money is the root of all evil.
Thanks, Maged.
Yeah, don't tell them.
Fuck that.
You don't even have to tell a girlfriend that.
Just go leave.
Just go leave.
Sign whatever you want.
Look, I'll be here for the rest of my life.
Here you go.
BunchofBullshit.com.
Yes.
I'll be here September one with bells on,
you think they give a fuck about you?
About a fuck?
But no.
Yeah, no, as soon as you learn that nobody like that,
in that leak is gonna give a fuck about you
and you realize it will, if you give them your undying loyalty
and don't wanna seem unprofessional,
yeah, you're gonna have to learn the hard way that it is only a one way street.
Oh, yeah. Just do do whatever a stereos wouldn't do. Look at what he did to the lawsuit. Oh,
yeah. You guys want me to work from home. Yeah. I'm totally cool with working from home.
Take me off everything. I can't I says in my contact and my contract, I can't discuss lawsuits that have to do with
the company. So definitely not do that. And just let me know when I can come back to work. And I
love you guys. We're like a family, right? You're fired. Yeah. Oh, of course. Uh, shit. So I shouldn't
have done any, oh, okay. Yeah, because you were not, you don't care about me at all. No. Yeah.
Okay. Hard lesson. Don't let somebody else I got here. Dude, you know what I've been paying a lot more attention to, like, dog commands. Did you see that video that went out where a cop was?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know that one. All right, let me see what else I got here. Dude, you know what I've been paying a lot more attention
to like dog commands?
Did you see that video that went out
where a cop has a drug sniffing dog
and the dog, I guess, doesn't detect anything.
So the guy chokes the shit out of it,
like dragging it around the car.
Holy shit.
So presumably so that it would signal
so he could get something to write in the report. I'm sure that's done. I mean, that's a sometimes it can be the like, you
know, the clever Hans effect. Yeah. You know what that is. Yeah. Yeah. The horse that
stomped. Yeah. Yeah. The queues or whatever. Oh, misread what the animal's doing. This
is kind of seeing what you want to see. This is more of a bring the dog out so I can say
I have probable cause to search this
car.
It's just fucking yank in the dog around.
Did you hear that nowadays?
They're saying that the dogs can smell like computer chips.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and they're using that.
They have like, I think they call them like digital dogs or something like that.
That can allegedly smell if you have a hard drive of child porn
hidden in your wallet.
I think it's all the type of porn that you have.
Very nice.
Can they smell if it's like drawn or not?
How they did that, bro?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I've been paying attention to stuff like that.
The schooling them on free speech.
Bullet, Matt, like bullet casings too.
You were saying in the last time you were on that that's all bullshit?
But bullet casings?
Like how the bullets matching the gun that it was fired from, like lining them up.
No, that's actually real to the best of my knowledge.
Okay.
When I don't really know shit about guns, I'm probably going to fuck this up.
But I guess when I'm sure you'll be corrected.
The metal is shaped for the gun every bit of metal has like pattern to it.
Yeah.
And when the casing is banging around inside the barrel after you fire the gun,
it actually leaves little markings in there that you can see under like a
microscope or whatever. So that's real. Yeah, they have a finger printing. the gun, it actually leaves little markings in there that you can see under like a microscope
or whatever.
So that's real.
Yeah, they have a finger printing of, I mean, like the firing pin, the, is it called an
ejector or something?
Yeah, and the ejector.
I call the whole gun a clip.
It all leaves little marks on the casing.
And then I think they have some kind of program.
You can like take close up pictures of it
and then it does some kind of machine learning bullshit
and it can match up shell casings
that were fired from the same gun supposedly.
Anything make you rage?
People repeating a worst version of my joke back to me, like you dumb to know that what I said is funny.
Like, oh I, yeah.
We had a fentanyl bust at work a couple weeks ago and some guy said they got enough fentanyl to keep you high for the rest of your life.
And I said, well I mean it wouldn't take that much fentanyl to keep me high for the rest of my life. And he goes, yeah, maybe if you overdosed, that's fucked up.
I knew that.
That was my joke.
Don't steal my door.
Two, two subtle to yourself.
Yeah.
Just the two of you.
Not even just trying this.
Yeah.
So he, in his mind, he didn't even know why you had said,
right, what you said, no, he missed it.
No reason to.
No, it's his joke in his mind.
Yeah.
Yeah, he made it up.
He's so fucking funny.
Alex, you got anything?
Makes you rage.
Not much in my place, Alex.
Oh, really?
Unless, like, get on the bike.
You can't see the people a bit, I love, but.
Get on the fucking bike.
All the way in, you get a deep throat it.
There you go.
Take it all, huh?
No, I'm not a list of people go after family members
or people I love, but I'm like,
you are pretty calm.
Yeah, you'd have to be,
we'll watch the Andy Worsky video.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
At the end.
Thank God I was not listening to anything that was going on.
During while that was happening,
I wasn't hearing Andy, I wasn't pinching to that.
I was on the phone with the cops
and I can't touch the situation.
Oh, you were.
Oh, my God.
I think a lot of people in that situation,
what did you shot?
Because Andy's screaming at them to shoot.
That wasn't paying attention, Andy.
Yeah.
All right.
I don't see anybody else calling in.
Let's do voice mails and then watch it.
Sean, what do you think?
Yeah, for sure.
This is, you know what?
I don't think I have a closing music.
Well, no.
All right, everybody, that's been the Dixiel.
Thanks for listening, dick.show,
dick.show.com, page random.com.
So I said, so see you next Tuesday.
Presenting.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Ready. Oh God, apostrophos sent in a video too.
Really?
Yeah.
He's challenging Madcooks to a rap contest like this.
Oh, wow.
Do you want to watch that after Facebook news?
Yeah, but I can already predict that like this rap contest will end in a spectacular failure.
Yeah.
It'll be the worst.
Yeah.
Here's Facebook news.
Hello, Dick.
And hello, Dick heads.
This is the Facebook group news from the last couple of days.
Joey Williams says that he thinks one day Chris the Kiwi will snap, track dick down and kill him. And despite how much he loves the show, he finds the idea
hilarious.
He doesn't have enough money.
And Ling says dick would have it coming for fucking with a retard.
Clairely announces that he just curb stomped a dog for the way.
Do you think that?
Do you think that Chris the Kiwi's dangerous as a criminologist?
No, I think he's too retarded. Yeah. Yeah. That's my professional opinion. I don't think he
feels shame like people. Like in a lot of ways, I think that the people who look down on him
are more pathetic than him because they would feel so humiliated as to snap and murder someone
for trying to have sex with a female version of themselves on the internet.
Maybe, yeah, maybe somebody doesn't have that same.
We know he's not right.
He's, no, he's more well adjusted than everyone else.
In that respect.
Yes, because he doesn't care so much.
Yeah, I did it.
I messed up.
I sent him myself jerking off.
We all jerk off no big deal. Yeah, but they're like,
oh God, he's going to freak out and kill you. They're pearls in the Facebook group where they're
always talking about how many trans people they fucked this week and dogs. They curb stomp.
They need a hug box. Chris the Kiwi is an independent man and an independent thinker. No
matter how many times I tell them that vaccines don't cause autism, he won't accept it until he sees with his own eyes.
He thinks that human vaccines injected into humans
cause autism in their pets.
In their pets, yeah.
Just cause they're in the same room.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah.
It's vaccine shutting.
I don't think he's dangerous either.
He's been doing this for 20 years.
He's been just like,
is that how long he's been threatening things? Yeah. He's on ham radio forums. I was
going to say he was using radio to threaten people before the internet. Really? And he has
an ad on it. Before back he goes. Yeah. No, he probably, he probably will never act on it.
But he does, he does, he does say things that are very, that are very weird, that are very serial killer-esque.
The way that he, like the depersonalization of, you know, just almost like the, yeah,
like who's the female, like who's that, you know, like, well, that's the case.
Then I have to encourage people to catfish him so that he's busy being always strung
along to the next one so he doesn't come murder me.
Now it's self-preservation.
I don't enjoy it. But I do keep a wig next to the door.
Casey shows up.
Like slap it on.
No, right in front of him.
Yeah, right in front of him, he'd be like,
oh, where did you come from?
Uh, and some hoop earrings.
Yeah.
We should hook him up with Heather S.
Oh yeah.
I thought about how to weaponize him against Maddox.
Oh, those two, yeah.
All right, well, it's too weird.
Maddox is legally a woman now.
So that's true.
Yeah.
Mike Gams and Angelo, the homeless guy, both turned on Maddox.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, because he wouldn't, some, some dumb like cook war, like they're trying to
out, out, uh, cook each other of who's, who's more progressive.
Wow.
Maddox using his advantage spaghetti logic
against their, uh, uh, uh,
Pearl clutching hyperbole.
He's pathetic fight.
Uh, I enjoyed it.
Yeah.
Best thing Maddox has written since the wall suit.
So they're just, they're talking shit about each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like they're blaming Maddox for promoting
and not, not, not denouncing a, what appears
to maybe be a Nazi ideology because he took that picture with the Keck flag.
And then Maddox is responding to them by saying he didn't even know that the Keck flag was
in it, which he obviously did.
So immediately and that it's, and that they are the ones who are being more Nazis because
they're bringing Nazis into the conversation.
It's very funny.
Bring it in maybe next week.
All right, here we go.
Coming for fucking with a retard.
Clairely announces that he just curb stomped a dog for the first time in his life.
Claire adds that the small dog belonged to his neighbor and came charging at him barking
and that he would
stomp it again if given the chance. A deer in swix says that considering Clay's size, he probably
thought the dog was huge. Jesus Christ. Clay lives on the edge. Did he say belongs or belonged
to his neighbor? I don't know. let's see, let's rewind it.
Because you think he killed it?
Possibly.
I don't know.
I mean, if he's a small guy and a fucking Yorkie came at him.
Yeah, that's true.
Clay adds that the small dog belonged to his neighbor
and came charging at him.
That's how he killed it.
And that he would stomped it again if given the change.
That's far, that's far, far from upstate. Because he said he would stomped it again if given the chance. That's far enough. Now, it's just a far more upstate.
Because he said he would stomp it again if given the chance.
So he must have seen a lot.
Well, there's no more chance.
Not necessarily, not necessarily, because he could be like,
yeah, I wanted to end the same situation.
I'd have done the same thing.
Like, I don't feel bad about it.
That's true.
If Hazen crews messed up that belong,
then we're gonna have to have to talk about ethics
and reporting in accuracy.
Says that considering Clay's size,
he probably thought the dog was huge.
Kerry Grove posts that her ex dumped her years ago
for a dude and asked the group
to share some of their worst breakup stories.
Leon Valentine responds by saying
that he had an ex girlfriend that killed herself
to break up with him.
Kerry expressed immediate disbelief in Leon's story.
Leon deleted his original post and made a new post saying,
just trying to share a funny story for you to enjoy.
Leon says that he doesn't like being called a liar,
and then it didn't matter if he was lying anyway,
and then called Carrie a frostbitten moosefucker.
This has been the Facebook group news for the last
of creatives. Yeah. That story took an interesting turn. I
guess. Frost bitten moosefucker. All right. Let's see what we're
going to watch first. That sounds like a, you know, expression
you might hear from the 1700s in like a political debate.
A frost bitten moosefucker. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right.
Yeah. Like the, didn't Jefferson call like her maverade. Yeah, howling howling her maverade
It still sticks the flag burning shit a bunch of howling her maverade down there. Oh my precious
No
I'll do the rap challenge now and then we'll do some voice mails and I got to watch this Alex.
So fucking funny.
There it is.
Come on baby.
No way I'm East.
Yes. The posture foes is wearing a little hoodie and there's cut up stuffed animals all around Stuffed animals around in an NPC meme.
Jesus.
There we go.
And now he's dancing around in front of a bunch of shit. A pasta foes for, all right.
Oh, geez, I see.
Okay, changs.
Yep.
Okay, pasta foes.
I can't hear that without saying Tim Chang's afterwards.
It's a radio program.
You gotta at least read the titles that are on the video when you send it in.
Yeah.
Cannot just be visual.
Right.
Doesn't we need to have
barberry very small percentage of people will see this much smaller than actually listen uh okay here's
voice mails there's leaky to me don't have around the shell anymore the thing about water was the
dumbest thing I've ever fucking heard my entire fucking white yeah clearly she's not a hydrologist
all but even a fucking person with a god damn phone
could think this a through a little bit more than her
fucks matter with it
throw away part of the trash can
called in again
additionally lazy you are god damn retard those your mother
but you think the fucking water and fucking elase fucking polluted
to polluted the fucking water is fucking LA is fucking polluted, too polluted
the fucking drink, you fucking retard.
Jesus, H. Christ, I'm pretty sure you can call the fucking provider of water and say
give me a goddamn report on the fucking water quality.
And I'm pretty sure I would say it's fine.
You fuck. Fuck. It's Christ. AC.
Throw yourself in the fucking trash. Fuck it, bitch.
Guys really get bent out of shame about it.
Don't set this water on fire.
He will flip out.
I mean, I now I kind of want it to be right.
Oh, it's funny.
Yeah, I guess the water was fucked.
Huh?
Somebody a woman sent in a guy, a listener's wife
was listening to that part of the show,
and she goes, does this bitch not think that alcohol
has any water in it or something like?
Did you remember in Lacey he was saying
there's gonna be a water shortage
because millennials were giving up alcohol
and drinking water.
Yeah, he goes, well, what does she think the alcohol
is wet from?
I think there's not things there's any water.
You know how they add water add water to like spirits and stuff
to dilute it to the exact proof they want.
Yeah, I know that works.
Like what do you think's in that?
Yeah.
Um, guys really get been on a shape when she fucks up science.
Yeah.
She should just bring it.
She she always does one science thing.
Yeah.
The black hole thing.
Um, maybe she's just messing with people.
Maybe.
You know, I talked to her about,
you remember how she said that she likes math?
Yeah.
A couple times ago that she was in.
Yeah.
I made a terrible mistake.
Oh no.
Yeah, I tried to say something about math
that I thought was interesting,
you know, and how it has to do with the solar system.
She mentioned the solar system or something like that.
And I said how that related to math,
a very, very big mistake trying to share something
of yourself with women.
You know this, I know this like a long time ago,
but I didn't do it.
I thought, oh, she said she's like math.
Solar system here has something to do with math.
Yeah.
I think it was about relativity or something like that.
She goes, ah, you're talking about the solar system.
It's like my dad talking about politics.
I don't even want to hear it.
I said, well, what did you like about math then?
He said, you said you liked it.
What did you like about it?
I assumed that you meant how it applies to things.
I like putting in the right, the numbers
and getting the right answer.
Okay. Like a calculator.
Lacey, that's the part that you like about it.
The putting, well, one plus one, two, new it, boom.
Done.
Next.
That's the part that you like about it, the grinding part.
Yeah.
That's nothing that's just check, check, check, check, check, check, check, done it.
Great.
Thumbs up.
You're just like the part of the end when you come and put a stick on the page.
Right.
You could job, you get all the answers right.
All right, now.
Maybe they should put that in the West, Mr. Dog Show.
I guess, put it in the bottom through the thing.
Hey, did it, nailed it.
One, two, three, four.
Yep, four Paws, checks out.
Good.
Absolutely, good job.
Two ears, one testicle.
That's gonna, it's gonna be marked off.
Yeah.
Hey, Dick, I wanted to leave a very special father's day rage all good
absolutely dead
who still think that they are the right to give you advice
like you're just hanging out
take a phone call from shitty dad
and he says
hey son
listen
i have a great idea
you know what you should do next time you and your girlfriend
go out on a date? Don't know where to take her? Boom, I got it. Just the asker where she
thinks she's going and then take her there. No problem. You already won.
Already won. Alright, okay, dad, this is great advice, but I don't think I should take advice from somebody who
currently lives in his mom's house at the age of 58.
I don't think this is a good look for me.
Son, don't even worry about it.
Look, but I know what's up.
I'm saying good luck.
It's pretty good.
I'm glad that I watched you jerking up. I don't think it's gonna play me other character. Yeah, I don't think I
think you're a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm not a god. I'm there. Boom. All right. Yeah.
That was a little bit.
And you go and you try it.
Joe Swanson.
Fucking woman's throwing the fight.
She hasn't.
No.
Of course not.
So you're driving in circles.
Yeah.
I don't know.
And now you set yourself up with a surprise.
You can't throw it on.
I know where you're going either.
Oh, I can't see this in light.
Yeah. Now we know. I'll fuck with the surprise. I don't know where you're going either. Oh, I'm just a bit late.
Come on off.
Now we know, dad is one step thinker and idiot.
And now we know why he was an absentee dad the entire time, right?
The goal is to best sex of your life.
How the fuck will that result in the best sex of my life
you underpants nomes, idiot?
How is this gonna play a, We are not dating my girlfriend.
I am.
I don't need advice on how to get the best sex of my life.
This is my thing over here.
I don't need a group, I don't need a mindset.
Advice from you.
I don't need a group think activity.
I don't need a brainstorm.
I'm like, let me know how my girlfriend,
maybe he just wanted him to call him back
and like give him new restaurant ideas.
That was his way of secretly asking for his girlfriends.
Call me back, let me know how it goes.
No, he's like, shit, I need some new places to eat.
Isn't that what you're doing with the virgin contest,
though like crowdsourcing getting laid?
They asked for it.
They came to me, the unsolicited advice on your girlfriend is like a guy trying to just squeeze his cock
in while you're already there.
Hey, how about some of this over here?
How about me?
What if I'm a part of this?
No, get out of here.
I don't need you.
It's that probably happened because that guy's dad's absentee dad called him and said,
hey, son, here's how you get older version.
If you want to take a girl, if you want to know where all the hot girls are, you call
your son and tell him to ask his girlfriend where she's thinking of going, where she's
thinking he's being taken for dinner and he goes, oh man, that's great advice.
Then he called his son and I'll meet you at the end of the bar.
Yeah.
So now those two idiots absentee dad and absentee granddad are now,
ah, well, I was our plan.
Are you still doing the Virgin contest?
Oh, there's still virgins.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I told them to do the, what are, I told them to do those pick up lines, didn't I?
Are you still a worth thing?
Well, what, the civil worth, I told you I was a war game question.
I didn't get any more of those. I had what I thought was a good suggestion for them,
but then I saw something last night that was a lot better.
I was sitting in a restaurant at like, with time is like 11 p.m.
and it's next door to a club with like a line out the door of, you know,
Roasty's waiting to get in.
Roasty's gone.
And, uh,
Swimming.
Some guy walks by with a puppy.
That line is immediately all men surrounded by them.
Yeah.
So he chats up one girl.
Uh, he says he has to go and she gets back online.
He walks away 25 minutes later.
He comes back around the block
and does the same thing.
It's easy too.
You just go to the shelter, grab the cutest dog,
and then when you're done just throw it in the street,
they'll pick it up.
That's what they do.
He talked to like 40 chicks and they all walked up to him.
The line keeps replenishing too.
It's a fresh supply every 20 minutes.
If somebody will win the Virgin Contest,
I don't think they got good curb stop this dog.
Here's another war game for you. This is Jimmy sent this one in.
Oh, excuse me, Frank from New York, girlfriend, five-foot tall, blonde, 32,
de-cups, just like the Tifa Remake in my opinion, 24-inch waist.
PhD in pharmacy earns nearly twice what I do. These were her answers. Revolutionary war, like 1,600 to 1,800.
That was a hell of a battle.
I mean, it took a long time to get our independence.
Like 1,600 to 1,800.
Was that the beginning and end?
Beginning and end or was that like it was somewhere
in that 200 year period?
She's not wrong.
Then later, I mean, I know roughly how old America is, so I can probably
figure it out from there. Do you? When pressed, she could not name the year of the signing of
the Declaration of Independence. Okay. Eventually, she remembered the 76th part,
but could not determine the century certainty, knowing the approximate date of
America's bicentennial was of no help.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, is this doing anything for you?
Yeah, it is.
Civil War, 1820.
World War One, like the 1920s.
World War Two, the 1930s.
No wait, the 1920s.
20s was a rough decade.
Yeah, this is a rough decade.
A week, that's why I ask in order.
People say I should mix them up, but it's funny
because they talk themselves into a corner and they won't reverse.
They have, yeah, they have wars overlapping or near overlapping.
Because I like to see them right all the way to the edge.
Yeah. World War.
Oh, shit. War war.
Most of these like, she's not horrifically wrong on, you know?
You don't think the 1600s to 18.
That's what I said most of them.
Most of them.
Yeah.
Well, you only need one.
Well, terrifically.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No way, the 1920s is for war.
Just as she backed it up.
Yeah.
A week before asking her, we had dinner with her non-generational, how do you say that?
Non-generational, 90-year-old father whose family, non-generian father, thank you, whose
family attempted to flee Poland, briefly before the occupation, and whose spoke at length
about having been sent to a Siberian work camp by the Soviets
Yeah, in the following years this sober and interesting reminiscing between her grandfather and her dad took hours
It is possible. She wasn't even listening. She was on her phone
So the week before yeah her grandfather is 90 is talking about being in a concentration camp
But we don't call it that because it folks up to branding.
Vietnam.
Oh, you mean because it was a Russians?
Yeah, because it was an allied concentration.
There was an internment camp, excuse me.
Vietnam, I don't know, I guess the 80s.
No, not a good guess.
Conclusion, I asked her why she thinks she should have the right to vote, and she asked why it was important to even know these things in the first place
Yeah, there you go. Doesn't matter. Just is
Yeah, I got my little taste of it. Good thing. You like that. I do. I always my favorite thing. Those are always great
I love when people send them to me. Oh
Here we go. This guy's fresh off graduation. Oh, hey, Dick
So two or three weeks ago, you're talking about how all the dickheads are going to blow
their brains out during the graduation.
Yeah.
We're talking about their abu elite, not abu elite, both.
Yes.
No body tells the border.
I was talking about a tartar chip.
But yeah, so I just wanted to talk about my own graduation, high school graduation to, you know, fucking college.
Um, the fucking person that really pissed me off
was that, you know, how they've seen the national anthem
the Star Spangled Banner, you know, oh, say, can you see?
Um, basically the Jero City kids came out
with caps on their guns.
Like, what the fuck?
The whole point of the gun is I got a symbol of violence and authority.
Like, we use it to fucking kill people.
They put an orange cap on it like, way to a fucking self-caster.
It's come out of sticks.
And then after that, you know, it's just come out of batons.
You think are guns, crushing games, and overly dramatic. You think about crusty games and overly dramatic.
You don't know me.
I don't know you.
My abuelita doesn't know you.
My abuelita doesn't know me.
I don't know me.
And a bunch of stupid shit like that.
And then after that was a real kicker.
That was the speech.
It was five minutes of telling everyone
who their abuelita doesn't know. Yeah. And reciprocally, of telling everyone who their abuelita doesn't know,
and reciprocally who doesn't know their abuelita.
The buzzed man, my abuelita does not know him.
He does not know my abuelita.
President Trump, boo, boo, see.
He does not know my abuelita.
My abuelita does not know him.
You, you do not know my abuelita, all right. Part not know him you you do not know my abuelita
right part where I wanted to take one of those orange cap rifles and fucking blow my brains
out it was what it was like the student pick teacher like the student favorite teacher
some stupid you like that and it was basically the lady looked like she had stolen the silver surface hair like she died it
over yeah great you know not like it's kind of like a fashion trend or something
but like it was literally just like a block of silver on public have it fucking
with the awful um we see a thing now like we need to save the republic
the republic is so divided we need to save it. We need to save the Republic.
Like what the fuck is the Republic? What are the Star Wars we're going to do?
More of the rebel lines now. Like what the fuck are you talking about?
You're talking about Mexico. That's not a part of the Republic. You're so fucking
Canadian. You're social studies. Fucking patriots. You're so fucking dumb. And then she literally said, you know, she gave some dog shit
quote about being lively and then she talked about like,
oh, you need to influence the students.
Sorry, like, you're literally talking about brainwashing kids
in order to fight against guns and shit like that.
Like, you're so fucking dumb.
I want to blow my brains out.
Anyways, shit, I'm running out of time.
So fuck you, fuck Sean.
Thank you.
He was supposed to show up last time, but then he fucking didn't.
Yeah, everyone and everything is whole forever and ever.
And ever and ever.
Tell the other time.
Bruce.
Just like Jesus said.
Oh, yeah.
I think, uh, Mom, he didn't show up. That's yeah. I think, uh,
Mumpki didn't show up.
That's true. I saw him go on a show recently.
On what show?
Um, somebody else's show.
He's not doing anything with the stereos?
I don't know.
I think if those guys do one more show together,
they're gonna give each other an early menopause.
I'm worried about it.
I'm worried about it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Stereos is doing a PR for his mental health.
And I read it and I can't read this.
What a Stereo says about Munky
because I don't have that serious of a tone in my head.
Yeah, I don't have that sober of a tone.
Not you.
My hoe he just really needs to refocus
and be out of the limelight.
And I can tell.
I'm so mad at Mke for cheating on his girlfriend.
Who gives you a smile?
Why are guys?
Yeah.
Because they fetishize or they're
envious of a guy who they feel a lot in common with,
having a good relationship with a girl that they will never have.
It is a, the in-sell rage that Mumpke made fun of is now being projected at
him because guys who don't, who envy what he has are viciously angry at him for destroying
something that they covet. That's what I think.
Yeah, I listen to probably like 45 minutes of that fucking video that guy put out, waiting
for the part where Mkey does something wrong.
Yeah, and it never came.
Yeah, unless, you know, maybe something came up after, but the entire time he was like,
all right, here's why this girl, he fucked as a scumbag.
Yeah.
And then he followed that up with, and the only evidence that mumkey did anything bad
is this person whose character I just impugned said so.
Yeah, and even the accusations against him were just like that he has normal sex.
It made me more sympathetic to Munky because there was a line where he said like his ex
laughed at him in bed or something like that.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, she's going to learn in the next relationship that you never
laugh at a man in bed or he will definitely cheat on you.
Like this is important lessons all around. Don't break up with your girlfriend on the internet. never laugh at a man in bed or he will definitely cheat on you. Yeah.
This is important lessons all around.
Don't break up with your girlfriend on the internet.
Yeah.
Don't laugh at your man in bed.
It's the simple rules that we have that make society work, Sean.
Right.
Right.
It keeps the homicide rate down.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Why did you?
You should have just lied about it when that girl was saying on someone's discord that
she fucked him. You should have just said, no, that didn't happen.
Yeah.
Hey, Dick.
You know what makes me a rage when you order something online and you get an email a little
while later saying, hey, shipping has been confirmed.
Here's your tracking number and you go, oh boy, oh boy, tracking number.
I get to click it and see what day my off-year list quest comes or whatever it is.
And you click it.
And the only thing it says is that the shipping number
has been sent to us and will let you
know when this night is actually shipped.
It's like, what the why?
Just wait eight hours.
Send me the email until the tracking number actually
connects to something, to an actual package.
I hate these companies
how they just pay tracking numbers before
anything else delivered
it's so fucking frustrating just let
now i have to refresh
just to see when my thing is supposed to arrive
okay
shan come to this totally right
i got to go refresh my brows
and just we haven't gotten this yet I don't think you're your comb.
We haven't gotten this yet.
We don't know when it will be delivered yet.
The companies, they got so excited to give you your package that they just dumped it all
out in front of you without verifying that you can actually do anything with this information.
Just wait.
Is it too much to ask if you're giving me this tracking number that it works when you
give it to me so I can click on it and see?
Now I can see and transit.
Okay.
Now we're talking instead of waiting for the eye.
It's probably the way that the thing is written.
Well, that's the problem.
Everything has to be exactly perfect.
And if we don't, we don't have, we don't, we don't micromanage the shit out of it.
If you take our eye off the prize for a second.
Total chaos.
I just, I couldn't be bothered to give a fuck about that.
Because you didn't recently get an Oculus Quest ship to you,
did you?
That when you get it and you order it and you click on it
and it says waiting for the item,
here, the shipping number is non-functional yet
or doesn't work, oh great.
Does that mean it's broken?
Don't you pick the shipping time when you order it anyway?
It says like, ships in three days.
Yeah, but then when they give you the tracking number,
you click on it and it's not active in the system yet.
It's not live yet.
More blue balls.
More of the added steps to be blue balled by.
Right, until it's there and I can get something out of it,
don't send me a link that's basically broken.
Here, come back at an undetermined time and this will work for you
I didn't realize that there were so many problems with our just
Terrence your past convenient shipping. Yes, it needs to be better even better. It needs to be better
Okay, black light. Why did I want you to call in? He shot someone?
Oh, yeah, can you call in next He shot someone. Oh, yeah.
Can you call in next week?
Fuck, that's a good story.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
If you can't, you can call in now, but it's laid on.
Hey, what's up, Blacklight?
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
Hey, so you were, what's the story?
You were at one of those crazy reeducation camps like Johnson Brown.
No, I was supposed to go to one, but I shot the guy that tried to come and it ducked me
to take me to it.
Okay, slow down.
Sean, do you remember the education?
Yeah, the story.
Yeah, yeah.
Johnson Brown called in a month ago and he had to, he saved up a shit for three months
or something or something.
Yeah, okay.
His whole thing.
His parents sent him to a Somebody did. Yeah, okay. This whole thing.
His parents sent him to a reeducation camp, basically.
That was like a weird quasi-cult where children were kept in a prison.
And they slept in crazy...
Oh, I was fucked up.
Army bunks and they had like wood toilets.
It was terrible.
Absolutely terrible.
So one of these guys,
your parents tried to send you to one?
My grandmother tried to send me one of my 16.
It was right in the summer between sophomore and junior year
when you're 16.
My grandmother was, my grandmother was over religious
and I just didn't wanna go to church
because what teenage boy wants to go to church at 6 a.m.
On a Sunday. Oh my God. Yeah. That's saying had me and she wanted to send me to one of those Christian youth camps. Okay.
So I'm gonna give you the quick version because I gotta get back to work and that work right now. Is my audio okay?
By the way, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fine. You're fine. You sound good. Okay. So what happened is I was asleep and my dog at the time, a little tiny five pound American
Eskimo, a little white puff, a little yappy kind.
She started barking in the middle of the night and I woke up because of it and I heard footsteps.
And at the time, I was thinking, okay, maybe it's my mom getting a snack.
But then I hear two male voices
and I start freaking out because holy shit.
So I'm literally coming to my room.
Someone's inside of our house that I don't know who it is.
Where did you live at the time?
Where did you live at the time?
Where'd you live?
What state?
Pennsylvania.
Okay.
So it's still on Pennsylvania,
which will look great state
because we had this thing called
the castle doctrine, which means that's why I'm probably not in jail right now with a record.
Just like Andy Worsky, like personal castle doctrine.
See, the difference between me and Andy is that I actually shot the guy.
So you hear male voices in your house and you don't think it's Quakers and it's dark.
It's pitch plaque.
It's like one or two in the morning.
Okay.
So I don't have a phone.
I don't have anything.
What year is this?
What I do is my grandfather is 45.
Where?
Where are you keeping a 45 at this point in your life?
My grandfather, Wreson Peas, he was the coolest son of a bitch I ever knew.
The guy served in the German army during World War II. He didn't give a fuck after the war ended. He came
over to America to avoid all that shit. Oh yeah.
I'm the prosecution. He took me shooting all the time. and for my 16th birthday, which was four months earlier,
he'd let me keep his 45 to shoot in and everything.
Okay.
I live in Bumble fuck know, we're a Pennsylvania.
The cops around here, they don't give a fuck.
Oh, I meant homage.
That's what I meant.
Yeah, homage out there.
I am like maybe 30 minutes to 45 minutes away from Amish country.
I'm in the Lehigh Valley.
So, okay. That's pretty close to where the homage people are. 30 minutes to 45 minutes away from Amish country. I'm in the Lehigh Valley, so,
I'm pretty close to where the Amish people are.
So your grandpa left you a 45,
and where did you have it stored?
Sounds like a contract.
It was in my closet and a lock box for that.
In a lock box, you had to go unlock the box
and get it out.
Yeah, the way I, when I was thinking,
when I heard the voices, I was thinking, okay,
I lived in a single
parent household, so we didn't have anything we're stealing, so I'm just thinking, I'm not
gonna fuck with those two guys, because Lord knows what's gonna go on.
So you don't know who they are or anything.
You're not expecting these people to come.
I'm just thinking, let them do the thing and when they leave I'll call the cops, because
I don't want to get stabbed or anything.
Right, so you're thinking they're just there to like rob your shit, they're gonna look
around, see that there's nothing there to take and then leave.
Yes.
And the first thing that I hear is I hear footsteps coming right to my bedroom door.
So I get the gun, I load it, aim it at the door, and as soon as it opens up, bang, bang,
bang, bang, bang, bang, click, click, click, click.
You're spam, yeah.
I shot it.
It's not sick times. The first guy was dead.
I got him in the shoulder, the chest and the head.
The second guy I can call him.
And he armed the shoulder and the stomach.
Through the door, or was the door open?
They open the door.
That's when I started shooting.
Yeah, but like, was the door,
could you see them before you started firing
or as soon as the door moved, did you start firing?
As soon as I could see them because I didn't want to accidentally shoot someone that I
knew just in case.
Wow.
Because you're never now.
Okay.
See, Alex is a real man.
He shoots.
He shoots when there's danger and I like you waiting around to see what happens next.
Okay.
So you could you, what do you remember about actually shooting the guys head?
Like do you remember any of the carnage?
What is your memory like?
Even though you hit them, right?
I did because it was pitch black.
So it's like trying to light how big is your reaction?
In the 45.
So basically the one guy's head looked like a piece of shredded cabbage.
Wow.
Okay.
So he was, he was gone.
The other guy. Basically he couldn't go anywhere because he was bleeding now.
My mom came downstairs called the paramedics and the cops.
The cops took me away.
I was in the jail cell overnight.
Wait, was your mom surprised?
What was her reaction?
I didn't imagine she was surprised.
My mom knew.
My mom knew that someone's gonna come and take me away.
That's why she's gone with unlocked and how they got in.
So what was her like at the time? Do you remember her acting weird about guys being shot?
Or did like you seem like a mom would be like, oh my fuck, what the fuck is going on here?
They leave the door unlocked. Somebody let them in. They leave cookies and milk on the mantle too.
Yeah, they let the door unlocked on for the first time. Oh my God.
I mean, the way those camps were getting there.
Maybe he's fine to wait custody to those camps.
God damn, man.
Oh, so,
so,
I don't know.
I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know.
So,
they sign away custody and they stage a kidnapping.
Basically, yeah.
They know you're not going to go willingly.
So they're going to come up, they didn't know that I had, my mom didn't know my grandma
or didn't know that I had the gun.
What the fuck?
Oh shit.
Okay, so then what happens?
Well they found out the hilarious way.
I get charged with, I get charged with manslaughter and a legal possession of a firearm because I was 16 at the time.
Okay. My grandmother was pissed, my mother was pissed.
My grandfather, again, God bless his soul, paid my bail, let me say at his place what all this is going on.
And I was with him until I turned 18.
Nice. So I go to court and the judge looks at it and he looks over it and I'm sitting there
in my fancy little suit.
I looked like Sargon because the stupid suit didn't fit properly.
And the judge just turns his head and he looks at me and he just, he looks at me and asks,
son, did you know someone's coming to take you?
No honor, I did not know. He looks at me and says,, son, did you know someone's coming to take you? No honor, did not know.
He looks and he says, no, I'm just missing this case.
Yeah, because the kid didn't know.
You didn't know that someone's there to take you.
Killing your bedroom.
Exactly.
So I got off Scott Frey and I would show you
the court records and everything.
Yeah.
The court case is sealed because I was a minor at the time.
I don't know how I can book out on sealing that.
Um, we got a lot of guys who could work on something like that.
God, that's incredible.
Did you go to the, did you go to the funeral and like give a speech about what a piece of shit this guy is for?
His making is living.
I'm done with.
I didn't do it.
Spit on his fucking grave.
Fuck you, man.
I did, I did go after, I did go a few years ago
to see where he's buried.
Wow.
So did they, uh,
did they pull any of that shit again?
Your mom and your grandmother,
like where they just like, well,
guess he, guess he really doesn't want to go to church.
How did it, was there a take to?
Yeah, I mean, did they get the money back from there?
I mean, I bet my appreciation already going from there? I mean, at that point, I'm pretty sure
I'm already going to help, they killed somebody.
Called our bluff.
You can't go back into the camp.
What happened to the camp?
Did they get sued or anything?
I didn't really follow up
because I was still, I didn't want to.
What was the camp called?
I called.
Can you say that?
I jumped into a pile of shit
and I came out smelling like bruises.
I didn't want to fuck with it anymore.
What was the camp called?
Can you tell us that?
Will you tell us?
I don't remember.
It's been like 11 years.
It was really G-Z-C.
Like the last savior camp or something like that.
And the last savior camp.
That's incredible.
Have you hired any hitmen to kidnap your grandma
in the middle of the night to get even with her?
Like, dangle her off of a building or something like that? And she was an old hag and she lived the rest of the night to get even with her, like, dangle her off of a building or something like that. Right.
And she was an old hag and she lived the rest of her life
miserable, so I think I came up on top on that one.
Oh, that's incredible.
Do you still have a, do you sleep with a weapon?
Do you still have one around you?
I have more than I have, as soon as I turn 18,
my grandfather legally gave me the gun that I shot with.
Yeah, I shot with a gun.
Did you have any guilt?
Of course not.
No.
All right.
Good.
Of course not, Sean.
Yeah.
What about any like PTSD to wake up at night like screaming about?
No, the guy deserve what he got.
Oh, yeah.
You don't know what they're cut there for.
What about the other guy coming to kill you?
You just book it after you killed the first one.
No, he was he was down.
He was down bleeding out.
Yeah, me and T took him away.
I, he was, I'm not sure, I think he's still,
I know he's still alive.
I think he's totally fine apart
from having, should I go back?
I'm still with him.
Did you have any cool catch phrases?
After you laid him out?
He was being rough.
No one was sick. What? No one is? No one is. Did you have any cool catch phrases? After you laid a mask, you're being rough. I'm not going to stick.
What?
No one is.
No one line is.
That would haunt me in the rest of my life.
I'll have to have him think I'm bad.
Yeah, if I shot some home intruder,
I'll send you me, I'll send you to meet your maker.
And then I shot him, nothing like that.
Even like a kidnap this or something like that.
No, nothing.
It's a missed opportunity. I know, you gotta have these lines prepared.
What did your mom do to get you kidnapped?
So your mom knew exactly what was gonna happen
and she comes downstairs and she just like,
fuck, like, what does she say?
Was she freaking out or was she like,
what kind of freak What's that?
Did they ever consider hiding the bodies?
Because like they kind of caused this, right?
Like, what are they gonna do?
Call the cops on themselves?
If I'm an adult, I'm thinking, oh fuck.
Maybe there's a way around, like,
this is kind of my fault.
Well, hey guys, I actually gotta get back
because my lunch break is over.
I'm excited.
What makes you a rage?
What makes you a rage real quick?
Oh, really quick.
Oh, I'm a tits man.
I piss through the fly.
Go fuck yourself, dick.
And my rage right now is basically people that go through Reddit, ask threads, and just
make these crappy YouTube videos using a Microsoft Sam voice to read the questions over.
It's the most basic bitch who were free booting and it's all over YouTube right now.
Now, that's lazy content.
Some guy made like a million, has a million subscribers in over three months just by
seeing other people's content.
You too lazy to read, Sean.
Here we've got, we've got the video for you.
We've got something for you.
All right, man. Great story. Yeah, we've got the video for you. We've got something for you. We've got something for you.
All right, man.
Great story.
Yeah, that's incredible.
Really great story.
You lucky bastard.
Living everybody's fantasy.
And like totally vindicated doing it.
Yeah, I get out of here.
I'd see you guys, thanks.
So yeah, why couldn't my mom have hired some kidnappers
to try to kidnap me and I could shoot him
because she knew you had a gun,
probably.
It would fix so much in my life.
I could just, if I'm ever feeling down,
I'm not fucking crazy, man, of the mom and grandmother
to like, oh yeah, let's just think that you're being
like abducted.
You could take it away to get your throat slit.
Like, you know, fucking no.
What if it wasn't one of them?
Like, oh yeah, he's right in here.
He's a very deep sleeper. Eep, boop, boop,-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop- watch a team like they couldn't put a little knockout and I quill in his milk or something like that.
I know.
Leaving it up to chance.
That's how you get B.A. on a plane.
Yeah.
Everybody knows that.
You got to put shit in his milk.
Shit in his milk.
Yeah.
I'm gonna know no pain, Hannibal.
Right?
I'm gonna know the fucker.
We'll drink it every time.
Oh.
All right, guys.
Drive, I'm sorry.
I jumped well.
Let me see what he's got to say.
Uh, no, are you there?
Oh, it's a good thing I don't have anything to say
because I can't follow that.
Do you have anything to talk to?
No?
Oh, that's incredible.
I get the arms on my hair.
The arms on my hair are standing on him.
Yeah.
Well, when I got visited by those crazy trannies
from the trans lifeline, I went to file our police reports.
It's like, if I have to shoot these people,
I want a paper trell saying that they visited beforehand.
And I told them not to come back.
So it's like, I went to the police department
and I said, you know, this happened
and I didn't welcome it.
Now they're posting threatening videos.
They're posting videos of them shooting at the range.
Like, minutes after they went,
I recognize the range, I've been there.
And they said, you know, that doesn't matter,
there's no crimes or not going to take a report.
And if they come back, just shoot them.
Oh, there you go.
This was in Florida, which you're excited.
Yeah, in Florida too.
Hey, oh yeah, do you want to watch,
no, do you want to watch the Worsky video with us?
The now that Alex is here in studio?
See, that's a real, that was a real man
and a real killer that we just had on the phone.
Well, the guy with the live friend was going to say somebody died for that dick. How does
that feel? Great. Well, on the topic, there was also my co-worker back
related software. He told me that he lived in Alabama at a time and had like a semi-auto
AK variant. And at some point these these like
Hick neighbors that had a feud with his father were coming over in their car
and harassing them and at some point he he felt threatened and shot at the the the
air to warn them off and the police came over and said you know he would have
done us a favor if you just shot him because there's less paperwork yeah you
can't do warning shots really no one uh I knew because there's less paperwork. Yeah, you can't do warning shots.
Really? No, I knew that there was less paperwork if you feel somebody. Then if you shoot and
they don't die, apparently, yeah, yeah, that it's it's just a different guy that has to
do the paperwork than the corner has to do. No, it's like with that story, I guarantee
you, when the cops were handling it's like, God, if only he had gotten both because now this assholes alive and you might file for damages,
you know, it's a pain in the ass. So they have to feel if they die.
What's that? No victim interview if they die.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that mom is really asking for it.
What are you, shit? You said, right? It just pranks the rest of your life,
winning lottery tickets for the wrong day.
No.
Catfisher poses a man on whatever Tinder's thing she's on.
And who got, oh, hey, really?
He's got to go on Yelp and look up retirement homes
and sort by reviews lowest to highest.
Yeah.
In New York, he mentioned the castle doctrine.
In New York, you have a duty to retreat.
You can't shoot unless your back is physically
up against the wall, which is just bullshit.
Yeah, that is.
OK, let me find this, so this is a worrisky video.
Sean, you're going to love this.
Yeah.
So walk us through, pull that mic all the way over to us.
Tell the story better than I did.
First, it first happened, first happened in front of the bar,
AP sent a song through with a medial
on with a very well-produced song.
Which is much ever went into that.
Everyone else was fine with it.
Then word song, or the actual word is kind of.
Yeah, so it got the fellow Canadians from Mrs. Agua hyped up.
Yeah.
Everyone agreed with them. We're not racist, whatever. We don't agree with it. You, hyped up. Yeah. Everyone agreed with them.
We're not racist, whatever.
We don't agree with it.
You helped the chat.
Sure.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Then a QAnon guy, homeless guy, just escalated it.
Yeah.
He was like, oh yeah, it's the fight against the white race.
Like, you're not helping, buddy.
So that was the Nipple rubbing was out of your systems
and then you're leaving.
One thing that missed on a camera with that is Andy turned the camera to his face to
get a reaction shot I guess, but at the time the other guy in the white shirt actually
did a full hulk hulk thing.
He ripped his whole shirt off in one pull, not pre-ripped, not pre-torn.
Did he just leave the camera?
Even the collar?
The whole thing.
Andy's on the camera, you see the shirt on.
Yeah.
Pan away, you pan back, the shirt's gone.
And I'm the one saying in front of him, he just ripped it in one pull.
He must not have had a collar on that, because you can't wear a dead collar.
I've never seen it.
I mean, he was really good.
He turned him into capes.
Yeah.
And then you just look like a priest.
I mean, it was like wearing a red shirt.
I was like, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Okay, so the Nivell Rubbing got out of your systems then,
and then later you're going home.
Oh yeah, we're going home.
We got wings, the poor wings.
We got kicks.
They got stolen and kicked.
No, yeah, we're going home completely.
It's hard to tell in the video, but we were cornered.
There was no where, there's a barrier there.
We couldn't walk any further.
Oh, really?
I'm towards them.
Oh, I was wondering that.
Okay, so maybe this is...
I think this is it. Yeah, this is when... So this is when you see them and when you're
cornered, you say, okay, let me put it on the video so everybody could see if I could
do it in less time this time. Probably fine as long as we don't talk about
any of the interactions with the cops or any
illegal stuff.
So these guys were from the same town as Wendy.
Is Wendy?
Yeah.
Was this like a justy, small, at thing?
Did he?
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Was he the victim of the hate crime as well?
Yeah, did he pay them to come confront him?
Yeah, there were five guys.
You only see three on film here, but one of them was on film earlier on in the video at the bar incident and another one
Oh, wow, okay, so the two guys they actually walk at the end of the very the full length of the video while I'm in handcuffs
They walk by admit to being there
To the cops. Yeah, five guys is different than three. Yeah, I'm one head of knife
That's the only reason the weapon came out. Okay, all right, but there we go.
Keep going, we can't even run around here.
All right, yep.
They're coming towards us.
So we'll walk away.
But they're coming towards us.
All right, yo.
Stand your breath.
All right, standing.
Stand, stand your breath.
There he is.
Stand your breath.
Stay back.
Stay back.
So these are a couple gentlemen approaching you guys from, looks like about 200 feet away.
Yeah, they're two behind us.
The others who are behind you already.
Yeah, up to the side.
Okay, and there's no, you're often like a desolate area where there's just asphalt, there's
no bustling.
Parking.
Particles and hotels behind us, so it's like an intersection.
Okay.
So, there's a lot of heightened danger
other than having a little bit of nipple robbery on the strip.
Okay, and they're coming, you guys aren't doing shit really.
Andy's hand is out like he's Neo from the matrix trying to stop them.
There we go.
What?
Using the force.
Stay back, stay back.
Go aim, aim, aim.
Aim. Stay back, guys. Is telling you to aim the gun.
Yeah, the gun's not out yet. So, Andy's telling you to keep all your energy on focusing on aiming.
So, at any moment, I pull another phone to call the cops. I'm not aiming the weapon.
I actually never pointed the gun at anyone or put my finger on the trigger during the entire thing.
I don't know about that pointing the gun thing. I think I saw you pointed the gun at anyone or put my finger on the trigger during the entire thing. Oh no shit. I don't know about that pointing the gun thing.
I think I saw you pointing the gun.
Oh I pointed it.
It's not a person.
Oh.
Okay.
So failures.
The wing is ass kicked.
There's the wings.
Never any of those.
See back.
That false son of the Jesus is always correct.
Now do you have your gun out at this point?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was in the other shot.
That was you holding the gun down.
Uh, it looked like it.
You look pretty calm too.
I gotta say, I'll be dancing around like a monkey.
I had guns right.
Probably be drunk too.
Fuck, say the fuck back.
What was your impression of that?
Oh, oh shit. Okay, there's the gun!
Oh my god!
You're saying this is not pointed at anybody! Holy shit!
It's to the right of him.
This is what I look like in virtual reality.
Pointed out my-
Fuck, Chris! Look at that shit, Sean!
That is a real gun!
On a real street!
Alright, here we go.
If you keep so come back.
Stay back!
Get the fuck back.
What? He's been yelling all night.
If he noticed, whenever the gun comes out,
Andy runs in front of me,
and whenever the gun gets put away,
he runs behind me.
What? Why is that?
I don't know.
Wait, when the gun comes out,
he runs in front of you again,
and then when it goes away,
he runs behind me.
Oh, well, I wonder why that.
Yeah, okay. What was your impression at the time of his screaming? And then when it goes away, he runs behind me. Oh, well, I wonder why that. Yeah.
Okay.
What was your impression at the time of his screaming?
I was listening to any of it.
You weren't listening to the cops and I was paying attention to what was happening from
me.
Okay.
If you've been in a situation like this before, with a hysterical woman screaming,
no, with no hysterical women screaming.
No.
I was going to say welcome to America.
One weekend, playing guns at people.
Yeah.
I'm still out 3,100 bucks from all this.
You're what?
You're out 3,100 bucks from all this, yeah?
You're out 3,100.
1,500 for the winner and 1,600 for a bail of which Andy's dad gave him 600 to pay me tours,
but then he gave 500 and then borrowed 500.
So that negated.
Wait, what do you mean?
He didn't give you your money?
We gave 500, but then he borrowed 500.
He borrowed 500 bucks from you while you're in jail.
We counted out, here's a hundred for you.
I'm gonna, well, here's your 500, but I need 500.
And then failure was gonna contribute some.
We thought he had, but he never had, so yeah.
Well, I have a policy. That's why looking look at Andy went online and said, oh, yeah,
I feel your failure paid the money to help out. We were told failure did, but he didn't
pay anything. He didn't give Andy the worst key money after that.
What was that now? I said, I can't believe that you would give Andy the worst key money.
Oh, he's always paid me back in the past. He probably still will.
So you've not him for a long time.
No, actually, only since Miami.
But no, he's always paid me back a rather time and it was a charge of my card and he'd
paypal me the money and it just bounced.
But, well, hopefully he'll be back.
I would help you, but I have a policy of not helping anybody with their legal debts
in the show.
I'm a ton of longstanding policy.
Get the fuck back. He was standing policy. Get the fuck back!
He was assaulted.
Get the fuck back!
God, there's still playing stuff over the speaker.
Oh God, they're saying many of the end words.
Do you hear that in the background?
No, I was listening to the hysterical woman.
So that you can hear the text to speech still going on
where people are texting horribly offensive flag.
This is a live stream, right?
And they take whatever and then the speaker plays it.
Yeah, too much.
You know, it's the word equivalent of burning a flag.
That's what they're saying over and over and over again.
No, you asked why they were still advancing
once the gun was out, right?
Yeah, like, why do they, who, yeah, I would leave at that point.
Yeah, I was just, I was advancing.
Failure says he was on the phone with the cops too.
No, the bad guys.
The bad guys, oh, because they're fucking roided out and drunk.
Like, they were at a drinking contest, just, just, just,
just tanks and they were, went out, definitely on some drugs too,
from the looks of it.
And then apparently, after I get caught it off and Aadian,
failure were like, walking around looking for stuff. They happened upon these guys in a bar drinking more two from the looks of it and then apparently after I get carted off and aiding failure
were like walking around looking for stuff.
They happened upon these guys in a bar drinking more money, drinking more, just pounding them
back.
So they had a gun pointed at them for altercation because they were drunk and they went and
drank more.
You can't do it with that.
Well, I see this one guy.
Once you have the gun out, he stands up straight and holds his arms out like Jesus,
as though he's saying like, what are you gonna do, bro?
It's like, yeah, I mean, that's like,
that's the worst thing.
That is the last thing I would be doing
if I had a gun pointed at me,
he's just opening up my entire chest.
And he always works.
He's like, oh, he's working.
He gets shot, he can force ghosts
and talk to people from beyond the grave.
We worried about that?
If you shot him, that they would be ghosts.
All right, here we go.
In aim, aim, aim, aim.
We aim the top's name.
Stay, no fuck.
Oh, no, I hate it.
Fuck.
Stay, fuck.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself.
I will be defended.
You'll defend yourself.
You'll defend yourself. You'll defend yourself. You'll defend yourself. You'll defend yourself. You'll defend yourself. I will be defended Now, you're the final ourselves. You're all camera. You're all camera.
Stay back.
You're going to the board.
Get off.
Get off.
Get off.
They were walking away, but it's like they got encouraged
by his screams to come back towards you.
Yeah, that's what it seems like.
Like the gun is out of my go.
Yeah, fuck off.
We're not scared of these guys anymore.
Let's head back.
Uh, all right.
I've actually not seen this before, which is I'm going to show
a void. You may as you avoid it. I didn't see it until a couple days ago. I watched
medicaries. Was this in Florida? Yeah, this was in a clear water beach. Good, good say
to be in for loose. Yeah, worst county though. Oh geez. Okay, so now they're leaving full on back and you can see that they're humiliated.
That's a humiliated walk and Andy is pursuing them, screaming at them to stay the fuck back. Is that, is there?
Keep the fuck walking!
Keep walking!
You will get shot!
Was there a reason for that?
That he's chasing them to panic attack, maybe?
Okay, I don't know if you remember as much of it.
Maybe he thought he was losing his voice,
and he wanted to make sure that they knew
that he would defend himself,
that we would defend ourselves, the royal use of the gun
Yeah
Go back to the bar
What do you think Sean?
Pretty funny.
Aim aim aim
You guys shot. You're gonna get shot
So they're gonna get away right we're walking away, but then failure, the fat guy in the video has seemed to lured them over to him.
Yeah, maybe they thought they could pick him off
and fuck with him a little bit.
But I get shot, you gotta get shot.
And they'll walk away, walk away.
And you walk away.
Hold this, hold this.
Do not approach them.
They're walking away now.
Get away, hey, hey, hey, go.
Okay, what were the odds that you thought you might
shoot somebody tonight?
When the knife was coming out, pretty high.
Really?
But as soon as the gun came out,
he pretty much booked it,
like in state on the edge and then,
I once it was de-escalated, the gun went away.
So.
Would you still conceal Kerry after this?
Yeah.
Were you drinking it all?
No, actually, so I don't know why people got the impression
of that.
I think there was something on the paperwork.
His life's hard and it's miserable.
And people already know I have an ignition interlocked
device in my car, so I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
I don't know anymore, but I did back then.
So I couldn't have had a single drop foul call.
Failure had to drive the car that night,
so he hadn't drunk either.
I think Andy was the only one that had anything to drink.
Those guys are lucky then.
So if you were drinking, you would've been,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I also, that also would've been like a felony.
What do you think, Sean?
Do you wanna hear, do you wanna see more of this?
What happens?
I mean, if they,
well, then the cops show up eventually.
The cops show up shortly.
How much more until the cops show up?
I don't wanna show any of the cops.
I don't know.
I don't know.
All right, you're leaving. It's pretty shortly after this. I'm falling. I'm falling. uh... uh... uh...
uh...
and he
check his voice is like ragged from
why does he think they will go to jay why does he think you need to follow them
with a gun
to send them to jails like police academy four
citizens on patrol non-citizen's on patrol.
Not into the ones on patrol is Canadian. Yeah.
I don't understand him. You mean what? Yeah, like why like he keeps
Not the time this is not the time to be sending in superchats. All right
So it actually the song that started all out. Yeah, oh AP Donnus Paul made it
He actually thought he had a heart attack when he saw what happened because he played the song
He's had three heart attacks before he thought he was having his fourth heart attack had to be rustyussian funny holy shit he's rushed to the hospital while all this was going on he was in the hospital do not fuck! That sounds like a cop, radio.
Yeah, security guard.
You assaulted our friend.
Did you have the gun put away at this point?
Oh, he was already unloaded, yeah.
Yeah.
Did you throw it?
No.
Is that it here?
Oh, this is 900 bucks, right?
Every time I see somebody ditching gun in a movie,
about 900 bucks, yeah.
That's a grand!
What are you doing?
Yeah, they're cheap.
Nope. All right, um, that's a grand. What are you doing? Yeah, they're cheap.
Nope.
All right.
That's about it.
What a what a heroine or deal that Andy started.
Yeah.
Glad you made it out of it.
Thank you for protecting him.
It clearly needs protection.
Know you got anything that makes you rage?
Women's spatial awareness.
Oh my God. What? What spatial awareness. Oh my God.
What? What spatial awareness?
Why?
You already know.
It's like, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with the woman.
But it's like, I first noticed this with my mom.
I was like a kid, like mom, get the fucking shopping cart
out of the fucking aisle so people can walk past you.
What the fuck is this?
You're taking your time looking at spaghetti sauce
and shake it the fucking cart out of the way.
Preach. It's like, fucking cart out of the way. Freak, brother.
Freak!
It's like, I'm walking down the sidewalk.
These two women come out to have a smoke.
They stand there smoking and they see me approaching them.
And they don't move.
I have to like step onto the road
and step back onto the sidewalk to get around them.
And with frustrating is that two feet to the left,
there's a space where they can stand.
And that's wider that people can walk around in that.
But it's like they don't know or don't care or both.
But I've noticed my entire fucking life
and it's specifically women.
Yes, you did.
Yes, Minor Kurty is not to do that shit.
I don't even think it's a courtesy thing.
I think it really does.
You just notice it.
They're not able to measure things.
Like our brains are different. Yeah. You just notice it. They don't, they're not able to measure things. Like our brains are different.
Yeah.
Our brains are different.
Like it's, they have no idea how much space they have between like the car next to that.
Like, can I get through that?
It's like, yeah, you got five feet on both sides.
Yeah.
I spend a day, I've also noticed this.
So I spend, I've noticed it my whole life, man.
I spent a day with a,
wearing a sandwich board,
they said a shoe sale today, only running.
I walked around, they parked like the Red Sea,
walking around, I was at Home Depot two days ago,
and two Mexican women with shopping carts stopped
because they recognized each other in the middle of the aisle.
Yeah, that's great.
No, no, no, it's good.
Like, it happens on the street, which I kind of,
which is infuriating, but I kind of understand,
because it's usually in a residential area.
You got five seconds before it's the home and baby.
Yeah, right.
But in a store where you could just mosey your fat ass over
and have a conversation with this bitch to not do that
in the middle of a home depot,
where presumably everyone there is involved,
if you're there, it might be your second, third, fourth,
fifth time at home depot that day,
trying to fix something that needs to be fixed in a hurry.
To see that there, I picked up a tool shed and dropped
it right on top of them and locked them inside. So you can talk to each other for the rest
of their lives. It is very annoying. Not an overreaction. Yeah. All right. No, get out of
here. I'm getting here. Matt at the internet.com. Can people see this? This is, I, he just
emailed me. Okay. I said, a criminologist wants to talk to you on the show today can you call in uh can you work it into your schedule no but here's a video
hey he said I think I think that's what you need because I reported you to LAPD for alleged
hate crimes oh no okay so I've been reported all right good. It's about time something was done about you. What a jerk.