The Dick Show - Episode 221 - Dick on the Hunt for Waluigi
Episode Date: August 25, 2020The inverse of the reflection of the man, VR horror games, throw-up comedy, guys who pretend to be upset by "Cuties", competition in arts and crafts, it doesn't look like the picture, getting laid wit...h vitiligo, throw-up comedy, expensive used trucks, Cantillions has COVID, Digi-nee tokens, and the phone number of doom; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
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Oh God, the camera, the camera adds weight and it removes hair.
Oh yeah.
Did you know that about the camera?
Cameras are notoriously brutal.
No, they are on your hair alarm.
So these people are doing shows from home and stuff
and they had to learn how to do their own makeup
like through this quarantine.
If you ever seen people, you're like, oh God!
This is how my hair usually is.
Yeah. You see that?
Yeah.
It's just, that's my hairirline, it goes down like that.
This other one about like that, like Big Urn.
Yeah, that's how I like my hair to look.
Big Urn, yeah.
Finally, Big Urn is about the law.
I can buy my way out of anything.
That's a fucking such a great movie.
Yeah, it is.
Finally.
And about now, your butt feels like a
and about to explode, brought worst.
Would you quit talking?
It's like riding his ear in the book.
I wasn't talking while you were bowling.
I said, yeah, I wasn't talking while you were bowling.
Yeah, exactly.
Feeling silly today?
Yeah, no sleep will do that.
Yeah, and that polar is you Roy.
Oh, there we now I'm recording Jesus Christ.
What a fuck up.
I'm fucking up already.
Can everybody see it and hear it?
Do you want to hear?
There was already issues in the, yeah, that counts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's a hair, hair face, that's what I do. Hair face, not black face. Oh, yellow, well, that counts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's hair, hair face, that's what I do.
Hair face, not black face.
Oh, yellow, well, that's no, it's gotta be Asian face, I guess.
Yeah.
Hair face, that's what a two-pay is.
It's very, yeah, it's well.
You're appropriating, but that's, yeah, it's taking privilege
that doesn't belong to you, that's hair face.
Yeah.
It's very offensive that you were not born with that hair
and that you're appropriating it for yourself.
Who's the singer who's totally white?
And I think her parents are from Barry Manolo.
No, no, no, it's a girl, but she's let,
she's always worn black hairstyles and stuff.
And people always assume she was mixed,
but she's not, her parents are both from like Belarus and
the cravets. No, it's a it's a it's a young like chick. It's I know she's like in her 20s.
I can't remember where Billy at least no no no Billy Eilish.
No is that girl's name Billy Eilish? Is that her?
How you say it? Believe so. I couldn't I couldn't pick her song out of line up.
No, it was it was somebody who like fucking kids in their fucking music.
I had barely, somebody I had barely heard of,
but maybe somebody knows, but it's like a,
yeah.
And you look at the photos, you're like,
oh, she's obviously mixed.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, now I'm in this score.
No, not at all.
She's completely, she's completely white.
But where's like, where's like,
in the comments and just like never, you know, never,
never said she was mixed, but never discouraged at all. And like you look at her, you's like, where's like, where's like, and just like never, you know, never, never said she was mixed,
but never discouraged at all.
And like, you look out of your like,
I mean, like a straight fucking throw.
See her mixed, like a seven-year-old crowd.
I'm proud of my identity,
whatever you want to think about it.
That's fine.
She looks,
whatever all of you white women who are buying
my music, want to think.
Right, she looks way more mixed in that like,
Rachel Dola-Zol, or whatever the fuck that,
that chick's name is, you know.
I love that chick.
Yeah.
Talk about balls.
Just come and write out her and Sean King.
Bam, I'm black.
Yeah.
Wow, talking about black issues, writing books about being black.
Yeah.
Why does it can be?
Yeah.
Those are the people I want in charge.
The Sean King one though, there's a-
Taukamax.
Well, there's that Tau-
That's hilarious.
But I came up with that just now.
That's fucking hilarious.
Thank you.
I don't think I can, I'm not even gonna add to that.
I just thought to myself, what's white, Malcolm X,
and then Taukama, rhymes, boom, put it together.
Geez.
Teach me. Teach you my ways.
Yeah, that's...
No, Talcom.
Somebody asked me on Twitter.
Why Trump's nicknames always stick, right?
Talcom is nicknames always stick.
Yeah, they seem to.
That's what they ask.
I'm gonna say it's simple.
Is he takes a universal criticism, sleepy, right?
Yeah.
Universal criticism, lazy, the lion, stuff like that.
Well, and that's always, they're always detrimental, yeah, I mean, the universal.
Yeah.
So there's, there's, there's criticisms that are universal, and then there are criticisms
that are only in the context of our dogma, like of our society, like looks.
Trump takes universal criticisms, combines them with words that you're familiar with
that you haven't heard used in that context before.
Like, you know, like sleepy stuff like that, crooked.
You've never heard, you've never heard that word used
for a politician.
You haven't?
I'm not like, not in a long time.
Like people say like,
well that's what I mean, a criminal.
He's a criminal.
He's like, she's crooked, like crooked.
What the hell is that?
Well, no, he's got an old, he's using a really old time.
Old time, yeah.
Absolutely, which is, which purpose?
Which is funny.
She's longed.
Yeah, it's, you know,
ever that one.
Sleepy John Estes was a bluesman, I think.
Like, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
But then the other side, Sleepy Floyd basketball player.
The left just uses insults that are within the confines
of the dogma, like Cheeto.
Like no one cares what you look like.
Or you can't attack, like Bing Ugly is not like a universal,
you know, he's tricky, tricky.
Oh my God, tricky is cool. That's not tricky dick. Yeah, that's tricky, tricky. Oh my God, tricky's cool.
That's not tricky dick.
Yeah, that's great.
Anyway, sorry, what were we talking about?
Oh, fuck if I know.
I don't know, I can't.
Oh yeah, I was reading, I was like,
I was like, oh, the guy looks mixed,
but like his, he doesn't know really who his father is and stuff.
Like he said, his mom said that it was a light skin black guy.
And like, if you listen to the people, like from his town,
including the cop who they've gotten that record, you know,
it says like, oh, he's white or whatever.
What people didn't hear was the cop's interview saying,
like, well, there was no mixed.
Like, he's like, he's like, everybody knows he's mixed.
Like, he's like, yeah, I know he's mixed.
I everybody knows he's mixed.
So, I was like, I don't know, he looks mixed,
but like, people are using the,
oh, well, the cop checked white on the citation
because he couldn't check both.
Or there was no, like, mixed box,
or a fill in the blank box, but,
man, I don't know, I don't know,
I don't even know who the guy is. I'll fucking tell you I'm at low energy low energy
That was the big one. That's universal. I'll tell you what fucking makes me speaking of checking the right box
I'm low energy today. I know you are that's fine. We've been having too much energy on the show lately
We need about we need a 45 minute show. Yeah!
Welcome to day, you want to get new to get new to get new to get new to get new to get
got it, it's a show, I'm the contest, come to your live from Mount Bucket, even the
hardest city of failure in my hosting matches.
Voted America's worst Mexican, 71 weeks running, the $20 million man joining me is always
a world touring LA-based comedian Sean the audio engineer
Thank you for not killing yourself Sean
You're gonna sleep in on this one maybe bring an assistant if you know you're dead when you show up
Maybe bring maybe bring a little mini Sean don't talk to me or my son ever again
Maybe bring one of those guys. What's that from from the internet bitch?
That's from the internet don't talk to me or my oh don't talk to me or my son ever again, maybe bring one of those guys. What's that from? From the internet, bitch.
That's from the internet.
Don't talk to me or my, oh, don't talk to me
or my son ever again.
And it's you and a little mini squat version of you.
That's weirdly Photoshop that doesn't exist
in the real world.
That's what it is.
Gotcha.
Do you know how many times I've been called
a pedophile this week?
If you took, wait, yeah, I'm going.
Do you have a ballpark?
Uh, I, okay. I don't, do you have a ballpark? I, okay.
I don't know if I've been called in my life now as of today
in the year 2020.
I don't know if I've been called a Nazi or a pedophile more.
I know I felt the same about being called both,
but at this point, it's hard for me to tell which one
I've been called more by Jackass is on the internet.
Well, so that, but the pedophile one has got to be new.
It's got to be newer than the Nazi one, right?
Oh, it's brand new.
But it's brand new.
It's brand new.
Number one with a bullet, perhaps.
I mean, number one with a bullet.
Yeah.
Oh, God, the Christian right is after me.
I don't know.
I don't want to, I don't want to say,
I don't want to blame this on Christianity because
they're wonderful people.
It's the morons.
It's always the morons.
It's always the morons.
It's the morons.
It's true.
It's the 5% of morons on the right, the 5% of morons on the left.
That seemed like a hundred percent of everybody.
They think they are a hundred percent of everybody.
Dick's running covert ops for a small fucking country off the steins.
I don't know what's going on. Epstein. Updates.
Updates is like shot in the back.
Shot in the back.
I'm saying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Epstein's in there.
Yeah. Yeah.
Remember that in South Park when Saddam Hussein crashes Windows 98. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
And he says, yeah, no, no.
And this is like that except with Jeffrey Epstein.
Are they doing a take off of the Nedry thing
from Jurassic Park too?
Uh-uh.
I always wondered that.
Yeah, I mean, I don't remember the,
it seems like I said a lot of pop culture in the magic word.
And then is it, is it really hacker?
Yeah.
When when hacker was it they'd like hacker?
I'm not nerd, I'm a hacker.
I don't know.
That's what she says.
Oh yeah, yeah.
That bitch dumb bitch. That's sick she says. I think the girl. Oh yeah, yeah.
That bitch, dumb bitch.
I'm sick and tired of this.
God damn hacker shit.
So, God damn man.
Oh, what's I saying?
Fucking pedophiles.
Pedophiles to this.
Yeah, pedophiles are in there.
Yeah.
No, but trying to stop me or the anti-bedient.
Here's, you know what I'm always the dumbest,
you know what my real fucking problem is?
I donated $2, $2 to reign,
the organization for whatever anti-child sex crime,
$2.
Christ.
Is there anything I can leave here so you know it's going?
So I can see the timeline rolling?
Yeah.
I mean, you could just put it low in the corner
or something, right there.
Well, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I can see the counter. All right. Well, you got nothing to look yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I can see the counter.
All right. Well, you got nothing to look at now, Sean. How does that feel? Does it feel
naked? It fucking sucks. I'm gonna be looking at that. I'm like, you know, I so good. Do
you? Oh, they're posting Lolly and the chat. You fight. You sick motherfuckers. You see that?
That's just as bad. That's just as bad as the worst thing you could have had. So these,
it's worse. That's worse than the worst thing actually. That's just as bad as the worst thing you could have met. So these, it's worse.
That's worse than the worst thing actually.
It's fucking worse actually.
So I, what, where was I talking about?
Oh, you're talking about that.
No, the 5%, how much I was being called a pedophile.
Yeah, and it's the dumbest 5%, no matter what the belief system
or what, which is true, which doesn't get fucking stated enough.
As I was saying, I donate $2 to rain.
I've already done more than everyone,
the 99.99% of people running their fucking mouths
on the internet.
Immediately I've done more.
Immediately with $2.
Yeah, but Dick, it's $2.
It's almost nothing.
You're right.
I'm sure it is almost nothing. You're dead right about that
Stack all of your fucking slak to vism up to the moon and see what that does for literally anybody
You're fucking schmucks. It's still zero zero. I'm gonna stack it all
I'm gonna put that all in a big box and then put two dollars on top of it and send it to the charity of my choice you know what they get two dollars that's right that's it you fucking morons
and probably steal that or or or or or or this is this is what it is we are in a time so
where you getting called we are in a time where you getting called out to we are in a time
of the biggest wealth round up in human history the biggest wealth round up in human history. The biggest wealth round up in human history, like as though
as though corporate America has sawn through the Eastern seaboard and rolled up the country
as if it were a big piece of sod and then dumped everything inside into a giant money bin
with an apple, apple apple logo my apple apple amazon
Microsoft Google logo on top of it. That's it. That's and then they shook it out like a dirty rug and throw it back into place
That's America. It's not even in the house anymore on the back porch and all we are worried about
Stinky ass dog lays on it man man, man I'm telling you, men have decided
that in order to, that they are so crippled,
with crippled with impotence,
that they have created the antithesis
of what they believed so crippled with loneliness
and impotence.
This is men I'm talking about, right?
This is our, this is our version of Fight Club
20 years later, men are so crippled with impotence and
Loneliness that they have created the
Intestances of what they believe to be a man and they project
Constantly and at all times that this boogie man is lying in weight to pray upon what they see as the most virtuous thing
For a man to defend which is is women, children, and family.
So at all times, they are screaming about the red scare.
Pado, Pado, Pado, you guys don't do a goddamn thing
to protect children ever in your fucking lives.
I am sorry to be the bearer of reality for you.
I know shoot, I know that we all know what shoot them.
We all know shoot the messenger, but not a single one of us follows it. I'm sorry to be the bearer of reality.
Don't shoot the messenger. Shoot the messenger. Shoot the messenger. Let me tell you
about VR and how much I hate VR. Yeah. Okay. And women. This is and women involving women. It's like, it was it like, oh, I thought it was together like two negative things.
Oh, I'm petta!
Oh, man, I really, I got him.
I got this one.
I got this one.
Guys, check this out.
Patta!
Got him.
I fucking got that guy.
Who, who, who, don't worry about it.
Yeah, oh, these guys in the 50s would be driving around in a pickup truck
going cue stomping, right?
Because that's what it was then.
It was the same projection.
I feel totally, I'm terrified of communism.
I need to do something to prove that I'm a fucking man.
So I'm gonna create the antithesis of me,
the inversion of the reflection.
Waluigi, we gotta find Waluigi and kill him.
Yeah.
He doesn't exist other than an inversion
of a reference to yourself that you've created
to live in a world that does not exist.
How's that?
That should have been the intro to Knight Rider.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
It's a Waluigi.
Who does not exist?
We've gotta find him and kill him.
And then it's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
In the last episode, Michael, you know Waluigi doesn't even exist. Who does not exist? We've got to find him and kill him. And then it's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's what's heck can you see it yeah, you see him? Sawing down the eastern seaboard. Oh, yeah, look at all this fucking money these fucking morons up
Up up look it over there shoulder. Yo, Bezos
Bill Gates shake it out and check it out coming around
Check me out you guys got your masks on
Just kidding obviously
You guys got your masks on? Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh Dites or whatever we told him is bad this this time around cuz they're fucking stupid
So
They're gonna be pissed off here. I don't worry. I got some I got a little bit of money residue on me from all this Stilling up and do here's a smell it. Here's some bailout. Here you go that 400 bucks. I gotta suit you fucking pigs
Let's get some you fucking pigs. I'm not you fucking pigs.
There's some suck this, some skin flakes.
There's some skin flakes.
This I've got money damned.
I'm gonna shake off my guns.
Here, get all this, some,
I'm gonna push your money collected
in the crevices of my fat stomach here.
Feed on this, you pigs.
That's America.
Dari, once again, to be the bearer of reality.
No, it's, please don't call me a Nazi or a pedophile.
God forbid!
God forbid!
It's sad that an image like that is more or less accurate.
100% accurate.
Yeah, it's kind of crazy that you have to go to that absurd
a length to kind of just illustrate
just kind of how things are working.
Do you understand how fucked you are?
Yeah, that right?
But no, no, no, no, no, because you've got the seven,
you've got the seven things at all times.
You've got the phone number of doom.
That's what we're working under.
Oh, this is the phone number of doom.
Without all that stuff that happened,
okay, you guys wanna, no, no, no, no, no, I got the phone number of doom right here. Phone number of doom. Virus, boom. Cuties, the phone number of doom. Yeah, without all that all that stuff that happened. K, you guys want to, no, no, I got the fun number doom right here.
Fun number doom.
Byers boom.
Cuties the movie boom.
I got some over here boom.
I racist black eyes.
I don't know.
Seven things that you were actively able to kind of
remember.
Yeah, and divide your attention.
Seven digits because that's what you can remember, right?
That's and then otherwise you can't, you can't remember eight things.
Well, I think that he Bundy when she does the sports trivia show and her dad
goes out she forgets who scored four touchdowns in one game bright high yep
yep great episode who they couldn't make that show today shan that's what I
hear it with children they can make that no I don't think they could they put a
qualifier on blazing saddles we talk about that at all last week we did tell you
that they're big it's do you know what I thought of?
You know what's fucked about that though?
What's up?
In telling you that these people are bigots,
you will now no longer identify the bigots
and learn something through the defeat of the bigotry.
Do you know what I mean?
Like in telling you who the bad guy is,
you will now no longer learn the lessons.
Like, congratulations.
You just made more bigotry, idiot.
Well, here's the thing.
Yeah, if people just keep giving you the answers, you're not learning anything.
It ain't yours.
Here's the thing with VR.
Yeah, what's VR?
In women.
80s, girl.
I don't know why this is.
Two negative things that are greater than the sum of their parts.
Negative times a woman is a, there's a very negative.
Right, right, right.
Double negative.
Yeah.
There's a such thing as a double negative.
It's two times two is two times two is not four.
It's like two times two is like 16,536.
I'm on the board with those two plus two is five guys.
A negative number times a woman is negative infinity.
Right, okay.
Okay, it's not positive.
The absolute zero.
That's the zero.
A negative times a woman is, I'm gonna kill myself.
My fucking girlfriend has this,
it's always trying to get me to see horror movies.
I hate horror movies.
I've decided I'm not that big a horror movie fan these days, either.
I hate them, because I'm afraid of them.
Yeah.
Because they give me, I still have nightmares from Gremlins.
Gremlins, I still have nightmares from the fucking Boba Duke
that she made me watch.
Let me make sure this is rolling on.
There we go.
I still have, oh Jesus Christ, a pedophile spilled all my drink.
I still have nightmares from the fucking Boba Duke that she made me watch.
Every every every year her birthday rolls around, which seems to me.
I don't know. I should celebrate that every every three years.
I feel like when a woman hits a certain age, you got to start spacing out the birthdays, you know?
So the woman never gets above 50.
Well, you need a like I think they would like that.
You need like a you need need a party for you.
No, listen to me.
Listen to me.
It's like, sorry, your girlfriend's getting older.
Is that the kind of thing?
Women's not as horrible.
Don't say that.
Women's age should work asymptotically to 50, like Bitcoin.
Okay.
Women's birthdays should start spacing out.
As soon as they hit 18, then you start skipping a year.
So 19, then they hit 23, and then they skip two years,
so that the life expectancy for the woman is like 40.
Yeah.
And then you start doing every 10 year,
when's your birthday?
Oh, my next birthday is when Haley's comment comes back.
Actually, 2186, something like that.
So you think that's humorous?
I think it's earlier than 2186.
Okay.
I think it's the only comment
that somebody can see twice in their lifetime.
Mark Twain did.
And on Haley's comment out with Haley's comment.
That's what they say.
That's trivia for an educated man.
An educated man knows trivia.
Because I saw the comment last month or whatever.
I spilled all over my fucking notes, great.
Yeah.
This is like our first road rage when I dropped all my notes
in the toilet right before we went on.
You remember that?
I do.
So she's always trying to get me to watch these horror movies
and this bitch, it's fine for her.
She's like, it's because she goes, oh God. Oh, I'm gonna have so many nightmares. What a scary movie. It's 9 for her. She's like, because she goes, oh God. Oh, I'm gonna have so many nightmares.
What a scary movie.
It's 9.30.
Okay, well, good night.
I mean, while I've got six or seven hours
of being in a creaky house by myself.
Yeah.
Right?
That I have to try to be quiet at to not wake her up.
But also, there's like spooky sounds outside.
Well, and you also.
So these around every corner.
You don't know when, you know, anyone might just drop by.
I know.
Oh, no, there's the additional human factor
that I'm terrified about.
Fucking.
I want to make jokes.
I want to tell jokes.
I got a kid on the way.
Get the fuck out of here.
Right.
The VR system is built for horror games.
It is.
Jump scaring horror games.
Oh, fuck that.
Exactly.
Exactly, fuck that.
I'm, so I'm stuck watching.
I don't wanna do that to myself.
No, me either.
I don't understand why they wanna do this to themselves.
So I'm stuck watching this horror game
on streaming being scared doubly for when
the because there's a lag on the stream. So I'm watching her play on the on the TV.
What she's seeing except there's a like a second of lag. There's just enough lag for her
to be sneaking around and then to shriek like a fucking band-she when something jumps
out of something and then for me to see it.
So I don't even get that I have absolutely no control of what I'm looking at.
And there's no indication of when this scream is going to come.
And then immediately, immediately proceeding the scream is some kind of fucking demon jumping
out. And then, and then topping that all
off is the mind numbing frustration of having to watch someone else play a real life get
like you watch somebody try to use a computer and you see them fucing around and fuck like
just just click it. Just click the ax. Just click the ax. Yeah.
Click the fucking X.
And even when you do it yourself,
someone's watching, they're getting all impatient, right?
Imagine that, but watching like a real life video game.
So it's not like just like move left,
it's like just just come on, just tilt your fucking body
this way.
So everybody's yelling at the screen, basically,
don't go in there.
Yeah, don't give VR.
No, I've had VR. It's too scary.
I've had VR goggles on like a few times and like, you know, games are just walking around
the room and you can like, you know, spray paint over shit.
But I was just like, why don't I want to do this?
I just want to sit there.
I don't want to do this.
I just want to grill, man.
That's it.
I just want to grill, is that so?
I do just want to grill.
That's so hard.
I always just want to grill.
Do you want to see why everyone hates me this week?
Yeah, sure.
Do you want to talk about cuties?
I don't know, but let me see if I got
cuties on my other stuff.
Cuties?
You mean oranges, the little mini oranges?
What about them?
Everyone called me a pedophile
because I don't have a problem with those little miniature
clantines.
Yeah, those are the best.
Yeah.
They had a provocative ad campaign,
but I still like the fruit.
Cuties, first of all doesn't reflect upon the delicious miniature orange that I like to
consume.
Yeah, they're great.
They peel really easy.
Oh, you never get seeds.
Yeah.
They peel easy.
They're sweeter.
They don't remind me of having to play soccer at eight in the morning on Saturday when
the cartoons were on.
Fucking mom again.
Yeah.
The big shitty oranges with all the white stuff all over them and stuff. And the one mom wouldn't, the one mom would just
like cut them in half and say, here you go. You're like, well, you just, I mean, here you
go, pigs. Lap it up. Thanks a lot, bitch. What's the other, I can see why you got divorced?
What's the other brand of cuties? Hey, Los, hey, Los, not as good. Not as good. So you
support cuties. I do. They as good. Not as good. Cuties.
I don't know what.
Cuties.
I do.
They're oranges.
I support them with their provocative emphasize.
Cuties, brand oranges.
I don't know what the provocative advertising you're talking about.
I'm easy.
What else?
I got, he he silly came over and did some, you know, he silly the artist.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
What a great artist.
So we were doing, we were doing like these, I got 80s girl for her birthday.
These little like miniature
Arts and crafts where you're sewing sewing like little donuts that have smiley faces on them. Yeah, for it. Yeah, real nice
Right, okay, great couple's act real fucking great
What do you what do you ultimately do with them? You just look at them
You just look at how much you suck at that. Like you make it and then you go like,
well, that doesn't look like the picture.
That's what life is.
It's, well, that doesn't look like the picture.
All right.
Some people find that out by cooking.
You know, the whole like nailed it thing.
I was like, yeah.
You find it out with online dating.
You might find it out.
You might find it out when you start working.
It doesn't fit the stock photography. You might find it out when you start working. It doesn't fit the stock photography.
You might find it out when you have a family.
Like, well, this doesn't really look like the picture.
Never, you might find it out when you have
a little arts and crafts book for yourself.
So we're doing that.
He, he, silly came over.
It is good to honestly assess though.
Yeah, and this bitch is like going off pattern,
like she's not paying attention to the patterns and the templates and the book at all
She's just doing her normal thing and she makes like a
Professional looking like a one that you buy at the store. It's like her it's way her brain works that makes sense to her
Yeah, yeah, the visual
To for me to see something in my mind and transfer it on the paper is an absolute impossibility.
I have no, no, I've seen you draw and sketch.
Like you can actually do that.
Like I do at Lollie last week, that was pretty good.
That's what my good attempt looks like.
I do the tits really well.
The stick man was a little bit...
The stick man had a fucked up back, that's what I know.
The problem was the stick man, at first,
before the tits had an enormous cock.
And that's a problem for you.
Yes, homophobic.
Yeah, well, sorry.
So she makes this incredible mermaid
that just, that makes ours look like absolute dog shit.
And you're following the directions.
Yeah, and then leaves.
Like, well, I mean, this is kind of,
yeah, and you've really,
you've really sucked all the life out of this, he-he.
Yeah.
Now you're just gonna go, mine looks like cat shit.
Eyes are all crooked, looks crappy.
This thing looks like a man did it.
Barriott in a sandbox.
All right, thanks, fuckin' thanks a lot, he-he.
God.
And then she started doing this,
she started doing this awful impression
of these British porn stars called the cock
destroyers who talk about gathering spunk all day in this horrible cockney accent like
she kept saying it over and over and then 80s girls started saying and now I can't get
this disgusting like a caricature of a cockney accent.
Yeah, these horrors ridiculously inflated tits talking about how they destroy cock and
they want spunk all the time. Yeah, that's like their catchphrase
But now it's like ruined now it's like creeping into my normal
sex life
Why are you telling me this now? I'm gonna think I only need to pass the curse on to you like the ring now because now when I now if I
Now if it hits me in the bedroom
Then I'll think oh now I'm thinking about those horrors saying spunk,
and then I'll say, yeah, but I passed it on to Sean,
and then I'll get joy out of that and humor.
Thanks for not killing yourself.
He put me back in the mood.
Do you want to see the cuties, Ed?
Yes.
Bring it up.
Just give me a first blush.
So, okay, first of all, first of all, first of all,
let me walk you through this one.
Sure.
This is the greatest ad ever pulled, right?
Cause I feel like if I'm in the position
of having to explain advertising to people,
it's probably them that has the problem and not me.
It's a very simple process.
Get attention.
Very simple, very simple to do.
But to get it globally, that's really the sweet spot. I was assaulted, I was assaulted all at once, woken up in the middle of the
night by people posting and reposting and posting and reposting this poster that they said
was vile. Yeah. And horrible. How could this, look at this,
look at this,
look at this prurient and deviant poster?
How could Netflix do this promoting one of their movies?
Here it is, Sean.
I'll get your first,
I'll get your first take of it.
Might as well talk about it
because everyone is,
here's the poster.
Oh yeah, that's one, that's the one.
Okay. All right, that's the one, that's the one, okay.
Mm-hmm.
All right, there you go.
Feast your eyes on that.
I see you have absolutely no reaction.
You're a man who has some experience with advertising
and movies.
It was my first, for six years, from the time I was 19,
yeah, for, yeah, print advertising for the studios.
I can't help but, I can't help but notice
that you have like a normal healthy person,
absolutely no reaction to this retarded movie poster.
You, in fact, I don't wanna put words in your mouth,
but I think that you might be thinking,
oh, that's a movie poster.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but is that something that has crossed your mind?
When I see an image, a title, a studio, and a date line, I'm thinking that is a show or
movie. A movie. Yeah, they want you to know when it comes out.
That's one, sure. That's one of the things, right? Now they might want to also get across
some kind of a feeling of the theme of what it is.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like cheerleaders or dance squad or whatever, or whatever.
Like, yeah.
Perfectly normal, healthy reaction to a fucking movie that's clearly targeted to little
girls or women, right?
Yeah.
Obviously.
Oh, yeah.
I've actually seen this a lot.
A chick's doing dumps, dancing around like assholes and looking like fucking idiots.
Actually, I'm kind of spent my whole fucking life
trying to fucking avoid this.
So stop sending it to me.
So people have a problem with the title, obviously.
No, no.
They have a problem with what this is,
they're saying that this makes you a pedophile.
That this is, that this is wildly disgusting
and inappropriate sexualization of girls.
That's what they're saying.
The way that we've gone,
where everything equals the worst offense, for instance,
Louis CK equals Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby.
Same thing.
I thought about it yesterday and I thought,
well, if you're involved in a car accident,
and you say you weren't drinking or anything like that,
but you just like, you ran a red light
or you thought you could make a new drinking a lot.
Look, like just a little bit.
And the other person in the car dies.
Why don't you just charge the person
who hit them with murder?
Yeah, because you were involved in the death
of another person to some extent.
Isn't it all the fucking same?
So I'm down the Easton Sea Board
while you're talking about this.
It's all the fucking saying it. It all down the Easton Sea board while you're talking about this. It's all the fucking saying it down.
Any type of, yeah.
There's just no nuance.
There's no nuance.
There's no thinking.
Everything is A or B, one or two,
zero all or nothing, black or white.
It's so lazy and it's so stupid.
No, and it's so damaging to society,
to people's lives, to people's mindsets.
Oh, drives, it's just fucking crazy.
Because these people make decisions
and what are they gonna do?
They're gonna take, they're gonna alienate
all the rational people fucking out.
You're gonna get people who are like, yeah, that's,
that is pet files. Yeah.
So you're okay. Oh, yeah. I'm sure you just you just you just rate to 12. You're all right. You just
say the difference. Yeah. I'm afraid you're I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel you. Bring it on.
Yeah. Bring it to fuck. I've been cans. I was the first person canceled motherfucker. Bring it on.
I've been getting canceled since before you were born.
Actually, that's going to be fucking true soon. My first web host took me out in 2005 for a matter of better than women.
Well, it's the same kind of shit. It's unfortunate.
It's unfortunate, but not everybody is as resilient as you are.
I've got two dozens of people saying, dude, just like, not thank you, but you're,
I don't know. I agree with you, but I just like, not thank you, but you're, I don't know,
I agree with you,
but I just can't say what you're saying.
No, some people.
Fucking crazy.
Because they're not,
and they're telling me stories of like,
how they got their lives fucked with
by saying anything remotely.
And they'll never,
that's 99% of people who get canceled probably.
They'll never,
it's never gonna be the same.
They have a skill set that they've been doing.
They're not able to.
They're very unique.
I have a very special, very specific set of skills.
Yeah, exactly.
Fucking cockroach.
Yeah, and it's not the people who are really famous,
the high profile canceled.
I know, people.
It's the people you don't really know.
It's the people you don't really know,
who make, you know, who make, like, you know,
$55, $60,000 dollars in here.
And remember, and it's like,
$2 rain donation does more, does more to stop
medicine victims than anything.
You got two bucks.
Let's see the two bucks.
So I see this and I say, well, that's a movie ad.
What else would it be?
It says Netflix.
I think that's a movie ad. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. It's not for you.
It's not this obviously not for me. I know. It's not for you. I mean, I when South Park
did the raisins episode, that was for me. It was funny. This is not for me. This is about
little girls doing little girl shit. Do you think pedophiles don't scan for that kind of shit?
So this is the shocking, like this is all the time watching,
watching they would have never known about little girls
if oh my god, you're just putting it to them
on a silver platter.
This is the only me and Vito have reasonable takes on this
and Vito's, Vito's response is, you guys,
do you understand that there's thousands of hours
of this on YouTube right now?
Like this isn't just watch all the shows
that are geared toward eight-year-olds.
Just turn on the fucking Disney channel, you morons.
So I see this and I say, well, that's an ad.
That's an ad.
I don't want to see it stop showing it to me.
And people say, what, yeah, but it's sick.
It's sick and wrong.
It's sick and wrong.
It's sexualized.
It's children.
It's sick and wrong.
Look at it and I say, stop fucking showing me the ad.
If you think it's so sick and wrong, stop showing it to me.
5% the dumbest 5%
Stop fucking showing it to me.
Well, they're taking advantage.
You are taking advantage.
You at best, at best, at best.
Distrusting them, they did it without explicitly saying they're
sexualized.
You are saying you are explicitly sexualizing children and showing it to me.
You're the fucking bad guy in this scenario.
Stop showing it to me.
You're whole thinking.
You're the one using the image to prove exactly what you're saying.
You're the fucking bad guy.
You're whole thinking is dangerous.
Yeah. And we got a lot of people in.
Again, I said last week that the tail is wagging the dog.
I mean, it's a tiny tail and it's funny.
You should say that.
It's wagging a big old dog because fucking people,
companies are making, you know, just this tiny little,
my new, you know, minority is ruining people's lives.
Yeah, it really is.
And because it seems like it's everyone.
And it's no one.
And they, and they, they convince,
they convince bigger and bigger people
to jump on with the idiocy because they're so fucking loud.
And it's so painful to have to deal with their horse shit.
The bigger people are just like,
well, the tail, the, totally the tail wag is on there's like,
oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I do think, yeah, I think it's evil.
Yeah, it is evil.
It is, it is actually evil.
So I say, well, you know what, I actually,
I know a little something about, let's say, outrage marketing.
I know you morons are getting played.
I suspect they did this on purpose.
And actually, I bet, I'm willing to bet that the point
of the movie is exactly
what you guys are talking about.
Interesting.
You know what I'm like, this was my immediately.
Yeah.
I mean, as soon as I started seeing idiots freaking out, I thought, mission accomplished.
I 100% think that this is like a Joker.
Sure.
Where, I mean, the message of the Joker was that mental health is a joke in our country.
Yeah.
And it caused the most known iconic supervillain of all time.
Yeah.
That was the movie.
Such a good movie.
Yeah.
I love that movie.
It was the opposite of what everyone said.
It wasn't a celebration of the character at all.
It was saying like this is this is this is represented by the entire system.
It needed help.
It's what we tried to get.
He did. He cut his programs for dollars.
Yeah, and yeah, and that's what happened. And now he's now you he's loosened society and he's fucking dangerous.
Uh-huh. And I fucking as soon as I saw this, I said I promise I guarantee you that's what this is about. So I went and looked at it. I went I actually read.
I read from the director and some reviews of the movie. Yeah.
Because it's a French film.
It is?
Yeah, I want some stuff at Kans and Netflix.
Really?
Just picked it up or produced it or something.
I don't know.
It's say, it's autobiographical.
The woman is the Senegalese immigrant from France
who made a movie.
And in her words, she said she was at a party.
And she saw these girls 11 year olds doing these kind of these
dances. And it made her uncomfortable. But other people weren't uncomfortable. And then
she looked into it and saw that this is like this is a huge segment of the world. Does
this? They have kids dance. They have them in these dance competitions and they have like there's just thousands of dance studios across the country and
Obviously kids obviously kids and especially little girls mimic what they see older people do without knowing what they're doing. Yeah
Oh, yeah, I mean I I was I remember being and it's profoundly to
Disturbing oh to see like a like a six or seven year old who like wants to wear makeup and shit. Oh, yeah
you're like seeing how long with like popsomes with their like yeah, songs are fucking disgusting, man. Yeah, you're like,
yeah, that's you're you're you're a you've got to be a kid a while longer. You got plenty of time for that
shit. I mean, you want that, but like this is the this is the this is the reality is not that, right? No. And the
reality is what people are angry at always
and taking out on me.
Because everyone always takes everything.
Everyone always blames me for everything.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah, everything.
I am always getting blamed for everything.
Your America's victim.
Yeah, I'm the biggest one.
I forgot what I was saying.
Oh yeah, so the director said,
like, yeah, I saw this.
And I wanted to bring it to,
I wanted to make a story about,
I wanted to tell the story about how,
yeah, how this is, how the pressure,
how the pressure of socialization
or push towards hyper-sexuality is,
is something that needs to be talked about.
That needs to be talked about.
Oh yeah, I was to tell the story of,
I remember, did she get a pass being a black woman?
She had to delete her Twitter.
Wow.
I mean, they're coming.
They're really coming for their own.
Yeah, and you got to see what if,
if because they feel so dumb at having reacted so violently,
where do I think the satire tag comes from?
Oh, but you know, six, seven years ago,
let me show you the original French poster.
Well, I would have thought she would have gotten through it
being a Senegalese immigrant by way of France.
Writing an autobiographical movie about
dealing with the whole lives of parents
and how they force her out, like ultra-traditional
control of sex forces her into this.
And I mean, the description that Netflix wrote was like stupid on its face.
Didn't make any sense, but people want to, they need, men need to believe so badly in the
boogeyman.
It is exactly the same as men or better than women.
Women, idiotic women needed to believe that that person existed so badly that they brought
that the fuck, that they will convince me that I am it.
I would tell any of those broads,
I mean, it's the sights, it's fucking satire.
Like, this is the reaction that it's supposed to provoke
and they'll still say, yeah, but you meant it.
I know you meant it.
Let me see here, cuties, original poster.
Blubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbub like assholes, what should I don't wanna see? I don't think like assholes. Oh yeah, I remember the story when I was 11
and this is the story I wanted to tell.
And I was in sixth grade or something like that.
Doing a reading class and we're all doing our own
bullshit reading maniac McGee or something like that.
And one of my friends got called to the principal's office.
We had a sub that day.
One of my friends got called to the principal's office.
And I said, because I thought this would be funny,
I said, oh did your mom catch you jacking off again?
I didn't even know what it meant.
Like I knew it was embarrassing
and that if you added again, it would be even funnier.
I knew I didn't know what it was.
I knew it was embarrassing in some way
and I just wanted to get the laugh.
I said, go, did
your mom catch you jacking off again? And like half the class exploded.
Right? And the sub, this woman sub hot young subsistence. I remember fucking specifically
thinking that she was hot. Yeah, yeah, marching over to me. I was just going, I know what you're
talking about back here. That is very inappropriate. And if you don't stop your neck to the bristles often, I was like, oh shit, wow, that must
really be bad.
But my point in saying it was, and that was who you said it 16 more times that day.
You're like the Grinch.
And I remember, I remember, I remember my dead group in that moment.
I remember thinking, I can fucking replay that moment my brain thinking how hot that
sub looked yelling at me. She's probably 20, I don't know how fucking old she was.
I was 10 or 11.
Yeah.
I can remember thinking how hot she looked screaming at me.
I'll probably try to recreate that moment later.
But my point was, I knew it was, I did not know the meaning
of it, but I knew that I'd heard it from adults.
So I read it, read it to get the laugh, right?
You had no inkling of, kind of had some idea.
I kind of had some idea.
And that is what the director said at a point
of her movie is that these girls see this shit,
they don't really understand it,
but they replicate it in a, it is in no way,
it is in no way sexualized,
except for you, the fucking viewer,
who has been cramming it as an adult movie.
As for adults, that's a you movie. That's a you thing.
That's a you thing.
You're doing this.
You're sending me the pictures of little girls doing shit
and telling me what it's supposed to,
and telling me that it's gross.
You're the one doing that.
Fucking you.
This is what everybody else involved said.
It's the opposite except for fucking you,
you're the bad guy.
I've always had a problem with,
I've seen things that I've worked on
or been around on the inside, get reviewed
by music critics and things like that.
And me knowing the story of a song
or just like whatever, and them writing
this crazy meaning usually socially bent into it,
where it's like, no, it's always simpler than that.
It's like, I don't know, it just seems like,
it's very rarely this deep thing.
You know, some people can do both.
It's like a fun, exact album.
They're very few and far between,
but it's like, yeah, that's not what they were thinking at all.
Like, I know because I've talked to that person.
It's like, you heard the expression, you know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Yeah. It's not a fucking ph thinking at all. Like, I know because I've talked to that person. It's like, you heard the expression,
you know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Yeah.
It's not a fucking phallic symbol.
It's not a fucking this.
It doesn't mean this.
It's just a fucking cigar.
So if you don't like it,
if you don't like what you're seeing go protested,
veto posted, hey, there's one of these dance competitions.
They exist that ones happening here in like Duluth
or something.
Oh, no, they happen all the time.
And they're just, I mean, they're,
you know, parents know best.
Parents know better than the alternative,
which is the government, right?
Yeah, that's where that's the kind of world I'm in.
Like what's going on here?
It's bad, it's better than the alternative.
So, I mean, we keep working on it.
Yeah, it's good.
If you don't like it, go protest.
Put your money, put your money where your fucking mouth is
Do something show up with the signs say you're a sinner blah blah blah
I'll get your fucking anime avatar on your sign. I'm dickball. I'm the Lala cost on Twitter
And I think and I disapprove of this activity just go for it go for it to shut the fuck up
Just go for it. Go for it, shut the fuck up.
Talcom X and the Lala cost.
Lala cost.
These are great terms.
Thanks.
Let me see what else I got here.
I literally, I have no idea how long we've been going.
I'm like, I'm in and out of consciousness at the moment.
Yeah.
Here's some, hopefully I'm nodding and saying,
yeah, at the right time. Yeah, you are you're doing a great job
Thank you. Yeah, thank you. AstraZeneca. Is that enough about that stupid movie cuties? Does anybody else have a little fit that they want to throw about it?
So what's people's problem with your ranges?
I'm just kidding. It's what I mean was sponsored by the yeah, yeah
All right, all right all right. Let. By cutie's and get the movie free.
It's priceless if you know what I mean.
Somebody, Pean Weenersine,
is there a pedophile problem in Hollywood?
Yes or no, can't tell,
can'tillians, you stupid motherfucker.
There's a pedophile problem on earth,
all throughout history.
Most child assault happens to,
like 91% happens with someone they know.
Yo, Sean, I'm sure it's not just like being murdered.
It's not fucking Hollywood.
It's, uh, what, how are you gonna fit, what do you want,
what do you want, what do you want?
You want less, you don't want this movie to exist
and everything's better for you, what the fuck do you want?
Is there a pedophile problem in Hollywood?
Uh, you should do a dictation on cuties.
I don't want to see it.
By the way, Sandlot, you remember when that character
in Sandlot commits forcible oral assault on the lifeguard,
tricks her by coercion into a sexual encounter with him.
Oh, the kiss.
Yeah, the kiss.
The sea cat.
The sea cat.
So he can kiss the lifeguard.
I don't forget about that. Yeah. Because in the 90s, we had both Yeah, the kiss. Right, the CPS to drown. So he can kiss the lifeguard. I forgot about that.
I'm not sure about that.
Yeah.
Cause in the 90s, we had both of our balls intact.
Yeah.
That's why.
Yeah.
We could see that and say that's humorous.
On the way over here, I thought about, I thought about, has Will Ferrell gotten any shit
for when he was on SNL and said the N word as Robert Goulet.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he was, he was doing Biggie, like a Biggie song.
And he's like, all you other.
I remember that.
I remember that.
I just, for some reason, I just thought about that
because people are getting shit dredged up
from 25 years ago that isn't like, quote unquote,
that bad.
Yeah.
I'm just, I'm curious.
Yeah.
Cantillians don't watch the fucking movie.
I think Cantillians has COVID.
Do you want us to talk?
Hey, can't tell you is what's going on?
Hey, what's the whole thing?
How is your COVID?
Do you really have, do you really have coronavirus?
I, everything the doctor says, yeah, I do.
How do you feel on the test?
Like fucking garbage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long have you been better though?
It's, I honestly thought I was going to die last week, but it's cool.
I'm fine.
I'm here.
Can you taste?
Can you still taste, see?
No.
Oh, you can't taste it anymore.
That's a God.
I don't know.
I don't endorse that.
All right.
What is the problem with cuties?
So, okay.
It's not about the actual movie itself itself because looking at the movie or at least
hearing about it, it does sound like it's a movie about growing up and being of age, blah,
blah, blah, fucking, like what I said in the first place, right?
It sounds like what I said it would be.
Yeah, exactly.
And that's what it is.
But what it really comes down to, it's the way the marketing is now over here in the West.
And you're saying that there's a pedophile problem
everywhere, and I agree with you.
Yeah, there is a pedophile problem everywhere,
but it's so fucking rampant in Hollywood.
Can we live in LA?
How do you know that?
How do you know that?
Really, how do you know that?
I mean, I think, yeah.
You know that because the news told you that like,
it's like, you know that because of the internet.
What do you actually know about the problem in Hollywood? Because I promise, yeah, you know that because the news told you that like, you know that because of the internet. What do you actually know about the problem in Hollywood?
Cause I promise you this, if there's kids acting in a movie
in Hollywood, the content of the movie
does not increase or decrease the likelihood
of them being assaulted in any way.
And they could be having a wholesome family movie
on lifetime and you better have that fucking parent
attached to their fucking hip at all times.
Well then, you know, they have a lot of teachers. You see them all the time and you better have that fucking parent attached to their fucking hip at all times. Well then you know the, they have all the teachers you see them all the time and you see them literally all the fucking time.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Oh god.
Are you gonna get a sick?
Can we get sick just listening to you?
I saw CNN say that it can travel through 5G.
5G?
Yeah, the coronavirus is matching on to 5G.
Oh god, so fucking wheezy.
That's not good.
At least you're getting better.
Sorry.
Your voice sounds sexier though.
Usually it sounds kind of feminine.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
Well, maybe I'll just stay like this.
Yeah, okay.
So, you want to tell parents how to parent their kids?
Oh, okay.
You know they have a teacher at all times with them.
They will sell their kids out for clout, for money for everything else. They'll sell it with them. Kids out. They will sell their kids out for cloud for money for everything
else. And it's the easiest way for these fucking producers to come out there and just be like,
oh, yeah, of course, bring your kids over. We'll take care of them. But bro, I mean,
you're talking about, okay, so here, let me, let me spin you an alternative example.
There are like hundreds or maybe, maybe thousands of teacher kids had to act studios set up in strip malls like a cross LA where it's
I went to one. Yeah, I know I know about that. Yeah. Oh, so this is personal to you. Where did where did Weinstein touch you?
Look, look, look, look, what was it? Listen, if you want to get upset at anything, it's the big indicator on safety of children
is single parents.
That's children who have both of their parents
are orders of magnitude less likely
to have anything bad happen to them.
And that's what it is.
It's an advantage in basically every developmental
clinical.
It's just, man, the single parent household,
it causes kids so fucking many problems.
Yeah, it's really, I mean, it's not the kids fall,
but holy shit, man, you want to make better people
be fucking responsible, man, when you have two parents.
It's the, have two parents.
I would say, I would say the main reason
for everybody worrying about Hollywood
is that Hollywood is
upfront and center in our entire lives.
We let us try to watch Hollywood, we deal with it every fucking day.
So if it's a problem in one of our main aspects of our entertainment in our everyday lives,
I think that's why there is so much focus on Hollywood pedophiles versus everyday pedophiles.
Yeah.
I think that's also it's a money thing.
I think that's where, and that's why it's a celebrity thing too.
It's a money that people reporting.
I mean, of course you want to know about Kevin Spacey, you know, like a,
yeah, it's like it's salacious too.
Nobody, nobody wants to actually do the work and go down and protect children at
their like local elementary school.
You know what I'm saying?
Well, that are probably doing it because let's be honest, like, you know, like, did
learn Mike down the street.
Yeah.
He probably, you know, touched a kid, like, you know, once or twice a few years ago, maybe
probably more, but whatever.
But since you're in Hollywood, and since you have all this money, all this cloud, all
this power, you can probably do it way more.
He just just like, just think about it this way, just think about like all the white collar crimes.
You know, some guy is going to do tax evasion and he's going to get 10 years. The real, the
real enemies are the, like, are the bankers, these these big, strong, powerful people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A whole lot more power than Hollywood than I mean, bro. If you want to put it in terms of what is like the worst thing happening wage theft of
People of like of ordinary people is happening
No, you can't that's the problem. No, you can't you guys cannot solve you can't focus on anything
You guys can't we can't focus on fucking anything, Cantileans. It's just an endless, it's just an endless first in, first out file of problem.
Wait, wait, step just tomorrow.
Wait, step just next week.
That's when we're going to rant about that.
It's like 10 times the size of even the worst, the worst robberies or whatever.
Uh, yeah, I don't know.
So you think it's, so you're going to take down the big bad behemoth of Hollywood and
that's why everyone's pissed off.
So they've decided to, I'm going to go to Hollywood.
I'm just going to go down to fucking Universal Studios and just going to goof on everybody.
I'm going to go on couch, I'm going to go to every casting couch agent out there.
It just sounds like slakivism, don't you think?
Like screaming about Hollywood.
You got a universal studios.
You're just going to get a bunch of Asian tourists sick again.
Well, that's where I got my coup from.
So are you going to save some of that coup?
Put it in like a petri dish or something?
Maybe I want the coup.
I have a little coup so you can molest.
Can you take a picture of your positive results
and send them to us so we can Photoshop the name out
and maybe get out of work?
What?
Ah ha.
You got, you just get tested.
You got tested?
No, but okay, I guess this is what makes me a rage, okay?
I'll tell you this.
Okay.
I got, I took my test result or took my test on last week, right?
And they're saying, due to high demand,
you're gonna have to wait at least a week
if not more for your results.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, I probably do have it.
That's what a doctor says at least.
It seems like a fucking chick has it, I have it.
All right.
You sound like it.
You sound like you have it.
And if you were worse last week,
I mean, that's kind of, you know, I'm,
I would, I would guess that he has it.
Hey, you remember when Hollywood had a communist problem?
Hollywood still has a communist problem.
You still have a flat-climbed problem.
That was your takeaway from the black list?
Was that it still exist?
Oh, yeah, hands down.
Still does.
All right, kids.
I think McCarthy was right.
And I think McCarthy's, McCarthy should be brought back up.
He should be put on now.
He needs a statue.
He needs a statue.
I was going to replace all the Confederate leaders with just statues of McCarthy.
What do you want to do? Like what honestly do you want to do to fix this problem?
Besides calling me a pedophile. You know, we do have helicopters.
You want to murder people? No, no, just give them helicopter ride.
Yeah, yeah, that's a euphemism for murdering people.
I'm joking, I'm joking, feds don't, don't, no, I'm joking, that's a joke.
I don't think that's, I think we've been trying that one to be honest.
I think we've tried that one for thousands of years.
It doesn't really work.
Oh God, you sound sick.
Okay, one last thing, what?
One last question.
So do you think that having kids dress skimply?
I mean, I know for the movie, there is an artistic point to it.
Yeah.
But like on a on a Goddamn poster of the film,
is that normal?
Is that something that we should have?
Oh, I'm sure. You know, I don't answer should questions.
The reality of the world we live in
is that parents are letting their kids do this.
Some of the kids are doing it regardless.
This is happening.
This is happening.
This is happening all around the world.
Like the director said, she was at a party,
saw it happen, no one batted an eye.
So what are you gonna do?
She's telling that story basically.
That's real life.
But you're talking about specifically the image
for marketing, I mean, yeah, marketing is designed
to get attention.
I mean, I don't, just my personal feelings on that.
I definitely don't want, if I had a daughter,
nieces, or doing anything like that,
at that fucking
age. But you know what? That happens in people's homes all the time and their parents let
them, they like them and their friends do that. Just as they put that shit on YouTube.
And their parents are like, okay, with it.
Well, should they, should we just kind of come to a consensus as a society? Because we live
in a society.
Man, I don't want to be part of this.
No, that should not be normalized and this is not okay.
But okay, so this is like normalized thing.
I don't get, it's one of those words that doesn't mean anything to me that people say,
like the normalization, normalization, normalization, like little kids, little kids have been doing
adult shit since the beginning of time.
They just, they,
they emulate what they see. They do, but they do have access to so much more now.
Well, they do. I mean, if I was a young kid, you know, I'd be even more fucked up than
I am now because of all the porn that we have online. And there's kids who are really
getting pretty messed up because of this. Man, the reason I got into programming in the
first place was because I was cruising a using net groups
on my fucking 14 four-bod modem
and I had to piece together like 200 files
to compile a JPEG of a chicken of bikini.
That's how I got into computers.
So my entire life, I owe to pornography.
I owe to the conquest of seeing tits online at age 11.
So I will be damned, sir.
If I will sit here, if I will sit here and let you bad mouth,
I'll let you bad mouth there.
There's a difference that could attend 14,
whatever, however many years old,
trying to find some pictures of tits
and then get seeing a girl get rammed by five guys at once.
Like, there's a big fucking difference.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rammed by a hamburger.
Ram my five.
So install a fucking nebmani.
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want a parent all kids?
Do you have kids?
I want, we cannot allow children.
We cannot allow a mind shaft gap.
The children have other people take advantage of them because there's evil fucking people And other people take advantage of them.
Because there's evil fucking people out there who take advantage of children.
Okay, so if you don't need to go ahead, sorry, go ahead.
If we allow this and if we say, oh, it's fine, it's just kids being kids and they're just
dumb, you know, if these are kids who just emulating what they see other people do, when's it
going to stop?
I hate slippery slope arguments,
but you know what, this whole fucking culture
since 2020, everything,
this slippery slope is going right down to fucking hell.
Never you, mother fucker, it's never gonna stop
because as I said, while we're talking about this,
they're dragging a big saw down the Eastern Seaboard,
rolling up all the wealth in the country
and dumping it into giant conglomerations.
And as they do that, parents will have less time to parent their kids.
That's all that fucking matters.
That is what that is what accelerates this.
So we're talking about, we're talking about a movie that started based on this, this
movie cuties, right?
Yeah.
So I'm guessing she's making a statement about, I would, I would think she saw that negatively
based on her reaction. Reaction by it. She's uncomfortable, statement about, I would think she saw that negatively based on her reaction.
She's uncomfortable by it.
She's uncomfortable, but nobody else was.
So it is the tone of this movie I would think is like,
is it look what's going on here?
Is it, this is my experience?
Is it autobiographical?
I read a lot about it.
Because I don't wanna know,
because if you take just an image,
like if you take the title and the date line off and everything,
and you're just like, oh yeah, look at this,
like what is, you're like, okay, well, why are you,
look, do you wanna look at that?
Do you, what I'm saying is, it's tough to separate.
Like a shot, if you just separate the elements
then it loses all context and meaning.
Like it's like, this is a specific shot in order to
show you, provoke a reaction in order to get you interested
enough to see the movie.
This, this is a,
which is ostensibly, the movie is ostensibly
watch out for this shit.
If you're an advocate,
if you have some weird like parapheria
and you get like turned on by like vegetables,
then anything can be porn.
You know what I mean?
Like you're not gonna stop,
you're not gonna stop these people.
These people, they've had the Disney Channel forever. Yeah, we have Dan Schneider forever too.
Yeah. This is same kind of, um, have you donated to rain? Like I have, have you donated
more than two dollars? Uh, no, because I got out of chain link too early. Oh, I see.
Oh, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
You gave me money then essentially.
I probably need to go for financial advice.
All right.
All right.
Get out of here.
See you later.
All right.
So, my guys, so, second is shit.
So, it's a lot from people who listen to the show and stuff
or a lot of people are on the boards and stuff
or they come in out at you?
Fucking pissed.
Wow.
Yeah, they're real pissed.
Is it that whole thing that like Null was talking about?
Similar.
I think it hit at the same time, so it's similar.
They're drawing, they're drawing Wally porn of me to show me, to teach me a lesson.
Wait, wait, but what did you, what did you specifically say that caused this big reaction?
I said, I said about this, they tried not to watch. I said, what are you talking about? I said, what are you talking about? I said, what are you talking about? I said, I said about this, they're talking about the watch.
I said, what are they?
I said, read a review.
Don't judge it by its cover.
I mean, you know, pretty much one of the oldest maxims we got.
Don't judge the book by the cover, read.
And you give you an read count.
You can read almost an unending number of reviews, a parenting, like, yeah, this movie
like really made it.
It really showed me what things are going on.
And then when you need to talk to my kids, blah, blah, blah, blah.
My reaction is just seeing that it makes me just think of what I know is going on, which
is like the hyper sexualization of like girls at a young age pushed as much as anyone
like by their parents with these fucking beauty contests and like dance squads,
like I'm just like, yeah, like that's like a,
that's I know what's going on in this,
this is probably showing it.
My first thought is not that it's glorifying it.
Oh no.
Because it makes you uncomfortable on purpose.
Yes, and because I see that Netflix is on there
and they are not stupid enough to commit career suicide.
I mean, I, I, I really
don't think I just knowing what I know about marketing, which was just that I did it professionally
for six years is that it's like that one in, huh? Yeah. No, I know about marketing, which
is just that I did it professionally. It's just that that's exactly what you would do to
market that movie. And I highly doubt on the back end the message is pro that photo
that's my contention because if it is they're insane and people are getting fired across the board
yeah um it's just obvious it's so fucking obvious um and I appreciate the cantillians wants to
protect people but uh oh no yeah I know, yeah, I know, I know.
Put you two bucks in then.
Exactly.
Two bucks, you got two bucks.
Hey, let's see, we go here.
Pedro says, you know what makes me a rage
is when I'm listening to your podcast
and you interview someone and while you're doing so,
the person is incessantly scrolling their mouse wheel.
I was gonna bring that in.
Pedro, yeah, God, I love that email too.
Why don't they all do that?
Clicking, typing, click, reading the fucking chat.
I take out a ton of it if it's in between.
I always take some out, but if they're just,
if I don't have the time to sit there,
I'm on deadline with something,
and they're doing it in between short sentences,
it's like, oh, fuck it.
They can't fucking leave it alone.
Who was on the other week?
Was it boy, Cammy?
He couldn't stop doing it.
Typing and stealing.
Was this guy talking to me?
Maybe they're just, oh, I think they're just fidgety.
It almost sounded like they were, it was like a,
almost sounded like, you know, he had like one of those,
those all zzz wheels or whatever too.
It was, I don't know what else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know what else he had, but it was,
yeah, it was fucking pretty damn annoying.
Yeah.
And I took a ton of it out, but yeah, he's totally right.
I'm gonna need another neon sign that's this,
get off your fucking, get off the,
stop reading the fucking chat waterway.
To waste.
The worst at that.
Oh my God, it's like you go to those tapings on TV shows
and people are just looking at the monitors
to see themselves on TV.
Can't they just sit there and talk
and not do shit on their computer?
Yes, I'm talking about catboy, null,
and another aspergery individual who does this shit
or used to, but the worst offender has been waterboy
for zoning out.
Yeah, who proceeded to not pay attention
and hammered on his fucking keyboard,
like Mike Portinoi during the Maddox leaks, reenactments for fuck's sake, people stop typing and scrolling
and reading your fucking chats while you're on somebody's show.
Nice Mike.
Nobody thinks you're cool because you're multitasking while being interviewed.
Sean may be a great audio engineer but he can't eliminate your keyboard drum set while
you are talking.
He's not fucking magic.
Hell Dick, here's my solution for the bonus episode.
You got the Mike Portanoi reference in there.
A program for your phone and computer
that turns off the display
when it detects the person is on a call
so that the person is forced to pay attention
instead of dicking around on their phone when you talk.
Either hang up or pay attention asshole.
Still love your show,
even though I haven't written for an along-
what the hell is, what does that kind of comment?
Still love your show, even though I haven't written in a long while. What the hell is, what does that kind of comment still love your show even though I haven't
written it a long while?
Well, he probably, you know, I don't know.
I mean, he probably used to write all the time.
He just wants to, he just wants to be sure that you know that I wasn't, that I know.
You get what I mean.
Like, when do you, I thought you got him.
I didn't, I wonder what, what happened?
No, I know.
Should I have, if somebody has said, no, how many, how many, how many pedophile accusations
you get. So, yeah. So it's, you're how many petophile accusations you get,
so you're busy with those.
And, you know, I'm probably your least autistic dickhead.
So I'm less compelled to bug the shit out of you
as if I'm entitled to your opinion.
People apologize for messaging me too much too.
And I'm like, man, I feel like that's,
I feel like you don't really have the rights to do that
because I would just ignore it.
Like, I ignore important stuff on accident, all the, by accident, all the time.
Don't worry about it.
I'll just ignore it.
I don't feel bad.
No, yeah, believe it.
I got messages from my mom that I haven't read in two weeks.
I don't care.
Uh, yeah, yeah, I know.
Love you, Sean.
Keep arguing with Dick when he talks nonsense.
Uh, always entertaining, whether I agree. Love you, Sean. Keep arguing with Dick when he talks nonsense. Always entertaining,
whether I agree with either side or not.
Oh, that's good, Pedro, thanks.
Thanks, Pedro.
Mike Portinoi, you know who Mike Portinoi is?
Barstill Sports.
No, he's a drummer.
He was a drummer for Dream Theater,
for like, Prog Rock.
He's a phenomenal drummer,
but it's just funny, like pounding away like Mike Portinoi.
It's just not who you, I think to go to.
Yeah, you know, like, I mean,
because like not everybody would know who that is.
I didn't, I thought it was the social sports guy.
It's just, it's just funny that he, you know,
I acted like I knew who it was.
Oh, whatever. What a gross thing I did.
I even laughed along with you, like, oh yeah, me too.
I get it. Just like that. I jack an off again all over again,
pretending like I know why it's funny.
It's always thought I was.
It's an idea.
Yeah, interesting.
Somebody throws out.
Let me ask you this, if there is a movie about 11 year old boys
trying to find a porn omag, would people care?
Oh no, I know, not at all.
No, I would watch it.
It would be called goonies, but instead of a bunch of treasure, it would I know, not at all. No. I would watch it.
Yeah, it would be called goonies,
but instead of a bunch of treasure,
it would be a ship full of porno mags.
And I would watch the shit out of that movie.
I would write that fucking movie.
Sure.
I would put that on the poster
about 11 year old boys looking at a fucking nudie magazine,
like Ula-la with it glowing,
like Marcellus Wallace's soul is in there.
I will watch the shit out of that movie,
no one would fucking care.
Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a,
I don't know.
Draw your own conclusions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I get it.
Uh, I get it.
Uh, that Cuck from 202 is not a Cuck.
I am a Cuck, please read.
Hey, Dick, don't read my name, email address on the air.
I'm fuming right now while listening.
This dip shit is speaking for Cuckold's, no way I am married.
We both enjoy it many times over.
Whoa, whoa, remember that guy that called in and he was like,
Hey, get out of Cuck's, not in my town.
Not here, think you can get away with the real
Cuck around this walk.
Yeah, pushing that shit here.
I don't know what kind of thought shit this guy is into.
That guy did, was into like financial stuff too, remember?
Which guy?
The guy that called in saying he was a cuck?
Yeah, it was a long time ago, wasn't it?
Yeah, 202.
I mean, not that.
I mean, that's, that's what,
that might as well be, you know, 2011.
Yeah.
That was pre the meltdown of everyone's brain.
Oh, yeah, I mean, it's a ways,
two of what? Two of two. Oh.
So 20 episodes ago, five months ago,
that was before the bad times. Yeah, before the five of us.
Just before, yeah. I don't know what kind of thought
shit this guy's into, but he isn't to cuckold.
I am a normal guy with a normal life.
I just enjoy this fetish. He's a fucking, that isn't to cuckold. I am a normal guy with a normal life. I just enjoy this fit.
He's a fucking, that's an alpha cock right there.
And so does my wife.
It's fucking shitting on that other guy.
That is the key.
You think these guys could get to,
like if they got together,
would it be like reverse magnets?
Like they wouldn't even be able to fuck the wife?
Would they both hide in the closet and watch her,
just like, watch TV?
I don't know.
Yeah. That's Yeah. Like a
cock meet site where you show up. Oh shit, I thought you
were. Get it out of your system. Sorry. That is the key to
find someone that is into what you're into. Well, you know,
ideally, but otherwise you got to manipulate them into it.
Most people that know me have no idea.
Some actually do.
We used to play card and board games with some other people from the weird website,
or from the website, FET life.
And we all knew each other's fetishes.
They used to play card and board games with people from FET life,
just like normal, normal game of candy land.
And then you go, fuck the guy's wife while he watches.
Right? I mean, candy land, you had to sexualize children.
That's why I said candy land.
Ugg, Ugg.
So if you want to ask me any questions, go for it.
I'm as open, I'm open, as long as people don't hear my name
or email, okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Am I being set up to cook this guy by saying his name?
Is that like part of his thing?
Well, I don't mean, you know.
The TLDR is that I'm a voyeur that enjoys seeing it
with the person I'm with.
It's a dance with my wife, really.
That's quite a dance, sir.
Yeah, that's...
It's kind of like when the guy cuts in on George McFly,
get your damn hands off of.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That's a great scene, but oh god. But the push is really fucking cool because he floors them with it.
Like just the look like the scene was shot well.
That's a kids movie all about how getting your right pussy
is the most important thing in your life, right?
Just wanna be clear on the message of that movie.
Okay, for children.
She might wanna do it when I'm not around.
Sometimes I want it, sometimes I wanna be there.
Ooh, she might wanna do it when I'm not around.
Now, this is starting to appeal it when I'm not around now.
This is starting to appeal to me.
I say, I could go to the bar with Randy
and just, you could stay here.
Right.
He's not excited.
He's not really not excited about that.
Sorry, Matt, Matt X is a fucking reading
on a zero sleep the last week.
Well, if that movie poster doesn't pep you up,
it doesn't pe pet me up.
Can I go get a Coke?
Yeah.
Can you get me one too?
Yeah, thanks.
Oh, you can.
Thank you.
Thank you, honey.
Maddox is a fucking retard.
So this guy you're talking to has that right,
but there isn't anything inherently wrong with it.
Just like there isn't anything inherently wrong
with bondage or any other fetish.
But Maddox is just someone into BDSM
that walks around smacking people with his own dirty underwear
because he gets excited by it.
Oh, that's good.
Wagon finger, typically.
Dickie, he used to come over and play board games.
I know what he's into.
Dickie, fucking putts.
That Lancet study said the shutdowns
didn't reduce the mortality rate.
COVID. IE, the percentage of people who get the virus who then die from it what it does
Reduce is the number of people who actually get the virus in the first place and I'll let you whip out your pen and paper
To work out what that means for the number of people who die overall. No, it said it doesn't reduce mortality
Did it is't reduce mortality.
Did it, is he saying mortality rate?
Maybe, did I get that wrong?
Well, if it's mortality, I thought it said it didn't,
mortality rate is a different thing.
Yeah, maybe it's wrong.
It also had something in there about smokers
corresponded to fewer questions.
So everybody grab a cigarette for public health.
Sean, you beautiful bastion of balance and prudence.
Where were you when we needed you the most?
I mean, Sean gets a lot of shit thrown at him
with no prep work.
I don't think you could do any better.
Going back a few episodes,
that's true.
That started prattling on about how a shopping cart
in a corral is a waste of time.
Oh, the shopping cart.
And you said nothing to stop him.
Yeah.
Oh, you're pro corral?
No, no, I said if it's convenient.
Real convenient.
Yeah, that other, if it has one of those little comps.
Here's the thing though, and I don't know if I said this.
Here's what I will do.
Okay.
I will never just leave a shopping cart just free, like open free range.
It gets hit it over.
No, no, no.
It gets, the wheels at least get hooked over a planter.
Okay. If I'm not going to take it back, I will put it so that it can't, no, no. It gets, the wheels at least get hooked over a planter.
If I'm not going to take it back, I will put it so that it can't just roll with the, yeah, but I only do that to help to not ding doors. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't,
yeah, I don't want it fucking just rolling free, but also throw it at the corral sometimes.
That thing is way over there. If it's, if it's really a wide corral, then yeah, absolutely.
If it has one of those lips, I'll go stride that motherfucker over there. If it's, uh, if it's really a wide corral, then yeah, absolutely. I have one of those lips. I'll go stride that motherfucker in there. Yeah.
The lips on the ground. If it has the corral, it has a lip on the ground. I'm not fucking
dealing with that. No, you guys, but I will put the two wheels in a planter. Yeah.
In my defense, but I do not put them away all the time. Leaving them out makes it easier
for the next person to grab one. Have you so little decency that you can tell yourself
that shopping carts sitting randomly in parking lots are a convenient thing just to justify
your lack of drive to do the right thing?
He's onto us.
That's exactly what we do.
Yes.
It struck me then as a rare example of you both being wrong, but only recently did the
hell impact of your perspective factor fit factor in.
As I discovered that my rear passenger door has a new dent that is suspiciously shopping cart.
Look, I can know some things wrong and do it anyway.
Fuck you too, and everyone who leaves a cart
to the whims of gravity, the wind.
So we got dinged by a rogue cart.
No, almost always it, it's almost always a cart
that gets away from a kid.
I'll bet there was somebody there.
Some kid.
Some kid, neat.
Practicing their dance routine.
Or whatever, and the parents say,
hey, get over here.
And he runs into the thing, and then he runs to the car
before he gets beat in public.
Let me see here.
A bunch of people wrote in about the null.
A lot of people wrote in about that.
Hey, Dick, I felt obligated to write in
after listening to 220 right now.
I happen to check off every box you and Noel cobbled together,
conservative Christian, trucker,
who jerks it to lesbian porn,
and at about 60% of the time, give or take.
I won't go a point for point,
but you're absolutely right about everything you said.
I think Noel has an incredibly visceral reaction
to something that is certainly evil,
and so wants to destroy everything even remotely associated with it. I think Noel has an incredibly visceral reaction to something that is certainly evil.
And so wants to destroy everything even remotely associated with it.
No, I think that's fair.
I mean, he does, you can tell he feels strongly about it for whatever reason he has to feel
strongly about it.
Yeah.
Certainly, nobody wants any actions taken in society.
Ever. I don't want any actions taken in society.
I don't want any actions happening here.
Nobody wants a pedophile to act on those impulses.
Do we have to say that?
Is that necessary?
A pair of pair of pair.
I think we do.
I think, unfortunately, I think we do.
Because if it's involved into that trap,
no, because there is no deductive reasoning is dead.
It's dead, critical thinking and deductive reasoning
and inference, we're not smart enough
as a society to do those things.
You know what, I think it's, I don't know why,
this might be too annoying.
I think it's actually the abductive reasoning
that's destroyed us.
Okay.
So deductive is like,
what you can infer process of elimination.
Yeah, deductive is like you have a coconut,
or you, chicks says she wants to fuck you at a bar,
so you can deduce that she wants to fuck you.
Well, that's, I think that's just a statement, isn't it?
That's how, that's what deductive, that's what, that's how simple it is. Deductive reasoning. She says she wants to fuck you. Well, that's, I think that's just a statement, isn't it? That's how, that's what deductive, that's what, that's how simple it is. Deductive reasoning. She says she
wants to fuck you. It's like, if you have a one in a two and you take one away, you have
the two. Like, that's what, that's what it is. But, yeah, but if you also have the answer,
it's like, then it's like an equation. Is that to like, what is the telling you? It's,
it's used wrong. Like so many things. Yeah. So the next the inductive reasoning is like if you're if you're at if it if
a chick has told you she wants to fuck you before and you've had sex with her. If she wants
to hang out again, you can induce that she wants to fuck you again.
Because it's so similar. It's similar. I understand that with with someone if she's fucked
you before. Yeah. You can write. That's your educated guess.
So, abductive reasoning?
That's inductive reasoning.
That's inductive.
Yeah.
Inductive reasoning.
Inductive is the most worthless.
It's like something that can't really have.
It's just pop culture.
It's not surprisingly pop culture is rooted.
The most complicated abductive reasoning, I think,
is let's say you meet another chicken bar
and she texts you what's going on.
You can, I think that's,
or maybe, no, that's maybe that's inductive,
you can induce that because it's similar
to a set of circumstances before
that your brain is telling you, yeah, most likely
she probably wants to fuck as well.
It's a culmination of experiences that are similar to ones you've had before that lead you
in the right direction.
That's that.
Adductive?
I think that's abductive.
I'm not sure I'm going to look at that.
I think that's abductive.
Anyway, one of those abductive, the dumbest sounding one is the one everybody uses all
the time.
One of those thoughts is definitely ruining, or the lack of being able to do that.
Well, so one of those is ruined by wrong information.
Like if you just get a shitload of wrong information,
your reasoning gets flawed because it's working
on circumstances that are not necessarily true.
Absolutely.
Yeah, okay.
Income, I was right.
Dispression, maybe.
Income-plated observations.
Dispression, general rule, specific conclusion.
Yeah.
Okay, so yeah, inductive, inductive, specific observation. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use.
It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one that we use. It is the one information. Right. You've never had it before. Best prediction, maybe true. That's what everybody uses and they say it's deductive, but deductive is necessarily
true in all cases.
A general rule.
So it's, there you go.
One, we just, yeah.
Education, how about that?
In inductive, specific observation, and then you try to extrapolate that out to general
conclusion, which may or may not be true.
Ah, thanks, USPS.
Because it's inducing a broader prediction.
Yeah.
I think so.
Okay.
What was I reading?
Not for actually improved results or for a reduction of evil, but to feel better personally.
Not trying to shoot on him because I don't think it's on purpose, but that's my read anyway.
Also, I might even go so far as to say that a pedophile who manages to go their entire
life without ever touching a kid or acquiring real child porn is a hero.
As you said, they were given a horrific burden with no choice of their own.
Go fuck yourself McCarthy.
Yeah.
I mean, shoot the messenger.
Accela Dick, thanks for sticking up for, did you, did you nay not being a peto?
Approves you actually have principles and stick to them even in the most uncomfortable circumstances.
I think the fact that so many people can't distinguish
between Lollicon and peto speaks to a larger issue
of people not being able to step outside their own minds,
perceptions, and it scares me.
This is the mob that will kill you
if you don't think like the rest of them.
Well, no, that's true.
People don't, not everybody thinks like you,
not everybody has dealt with your circumstances, whatever.
It's not, and we do that.
People project like they're good and bad
onto other people and then judge them accordingly.
It's like, what are you, what bags are you bringing
to the fucking hotel, man?
Like that's, it says, a lot of times those things say
more about you than it does them.
And also like that, I think people now are like, like pedophile and child molester, they're one
of the same.
Be careful where you're going with that.
No, they're one of the same.
There are people who will never act on their impulses because they're scared to death.
I know.
There's also a lot of mother vakers
like saying it should be a sexual orientation,
which is a weird flock, if you ask me.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
This is a mob that will kill you if you don't think
like the rest of them.
It's like how you said the main goal of smart people
throughout history is not being murdered.
It's an incredibly poignant given the response
from most of your active community at this point.
Oh, I wouldn't say that about my active community.
The show is funny and all.
Again, always some kind of fucking dig at the end,
but the real reason I'm a listener in Patreon
are these moments when you stick up for what you believe in.
Hopefully this didn't come across as me thinking I know you.
And thanks again for sticking up for Digi-Nay.
I've been saying it wrong.
I've been saying it, did you knee?
Oh yeah.
Actually, it's just Japanese for bro.
So I've been saying it still did you bro the whole time.
So it's did you knee?
Which is what?
Which is sister?
Sister?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I think we got it.
We got some advice.
We got a guy who wants to call in.
Is this Sponny in there?
Let me see if Sponny's in there.
Sponny in there?
I'm in your live chat.
Now, oh, father Seahorse.
There you are. Oh, you horse. There you are. Oh
You mother fucker. Hey, are you there?
Don't mute yourself dog
Hey dick. What's up? What's going on man?
Slimey, I didn't know that was your that father see horse was your name. Sorry about that
Sorry for taking so long too. We're really solving all the problems against child abuse
Yeah more sexy kids.
That's what society needs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is, you sent me a email called Weird Video.
Why did you think I might find this interesting?
This is you performing stand-up comedy and getting physically kicked out of the venue in Kent,
Ohio. People were quite shocked. At one point, the video was posted on World Star Hip Hop, but they
have removed it. It would be awesome if you'd like to talk about this on your show. Now,
usually I would just ignore. Now, is this a bunch of end bombs and F-slurs and shit like
that? No, we do have that. See, this was something for everybody. That's what you're looking for.
We do have that.
Yeah, so what I did there was basically just, you know, I threw up in my bucket and
well, don't spoil.
Why did you think, why did you think I would be into this?
Well, I saw you on Dr. Phil because you're gross.
You're, you know, you're pretty epic troll.
So I figured, pretty epic troll.
So I figured, yeah, troll.
I was kind of niche what I did and it's not a lot of people really wanting to cover it.
So I figured, you know, you might be an ally.
I have to tell you.
I don't think they want you using that term like that.
I have to tell you that it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
I love it.
I really love it.
If you could make this video into a woman, I would marry it.
I'll play it for you guys now.
If you're on patreon.com slash the dick show,
you can always watch the video.
I should probably plug that more since I've driven away
our entire audience with all this talk
of child molestation.
Really?
Here is, so do you go by Slimey Spawn TV?
Yes, Slimey Spawn's the group of, you know,
a group of us.
I'm Father Seahorse though.
So all of you guys are directed by me,
edited by me, and the one we're about to watch
is that that's my stand-up routine.
This is your stand-up.
Now this is in Kent, Ohio.
Oh yeah, and they hated me, you know,
it's funny because I had been there
before and this was kind of like a hipster Andy bar. So it was pretty much like when they
have coup stick real soft Andy guys, when they've taken Kent, Ohio, we've lost the war.
So a lot of the audience was like their grandparents or their parents you came to see them.
Oh no. And then what's funny was right before I the audience was like, they're grandparents or their parents, you came to see them. No, no.
And then, what's funny was right before I went on,
was a feminist comedian.
And I was, all her jokes were like,
how she didn't cook food for her husband,
and didn't clean up at home.
And, you know, no one really laughs,
but she was just kinda like, all right, that's it.
And then I went on and, you know, do what I did.
So it really couldn't have been-
Worked out any better.
You don't understand how badly I wish
that I was in the audience for something like this. You know, that it really couldn't have worked on it better. You don't understand how badly I wish that I was in the audience
for something like this.
Yeah, that it would have happened to me.
It would have been laughter.
So loud that people thought you were making fun of him.
That's how hard you would have been laughing.
I'm gonna play it right now.
It's called comedian throws up on staging.
It's thrown out.
Here we go, Sean.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
He's wearing it. What are you wearing? Check a mustard bottle?
Oh, is that what he always got to?
I'm a seahorse.
Oh, you're a seahorse. Okay, here we go.
All right, I'm on the seahorse.
I'm psyched to be here with you guys. Let's do this real started.
Yeah.
What are you drinking there?
Now you're just trying to make yourself throw up.
It wasn't coming back.
Oh man.
Well, no way.
What in the world?
It happens to every performer knowing again.
Just ain't happening.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Well, no way.
What in the world?
It happens to every performer knowing again.
Just ain't happening.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man.
Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh bucket! Oh gosh! Oh gosh!
Oh gosh!
Throwing up in a bucket!
Oh gosh!
Throwing up in a bucket!
Oh gosh!
Throwing up in a bucket!
Oh gosh!
Oh gosh!
Throwing up in a bucket!
Everyone's screaming now, stop!
Everyone's screaming now, stop!
You're really working at it.
No.
At this point, you have to go tell you throw a lot of pride.
I mean, arts be...
I got a little... I got's beat. I got a little...
Alright, he's clapped now. Look at John.
A bar guy has run up and started clapping until we get it out.
No! No, put it down!
Get the...
Are you still trying to throw up?
Now you're getting picked up by the security and is it different than like shit-coffman used to do?
No, this is great!
Okay, now you've been thrown up.
been thrown up. Oh wow. So, so, please did you get anything out? I couldn't see.
There was a little bit coming out, but not as much as I had planned, you know.
Oh, so in your mind, how would that have gone?
Straight projectile, like all over the place but you know I guess
I got a little bit of stage fright. Yeah it's hard to make yourself did you practice at all
making yourself throw up? No man. It's horrible. I was just like trying to wedge my fingers down
my throat as far as I could. That happened to me. I always I always assumed that it was easy to do
because the only time I've ever made myself throw up has been I've been like too hung over to see straight and it's
always really easy to just push yourself. I mean, it's not even easy, it's not easy,
but I can do it. But then a couple months ago, I did some acid and then Onision said he
would interview me and he would let me and Ralph interview him on the Ralph retort.
You were trying to get rid of it and can do it.
No, I couldn't do it.
I spent like, and looking back on it
is dumb to even try.
Like how you gonna throw up a fucking couple of micro
nanograms of acid.
It's in there.
It's on your stomach.
It's sticking on your esophagus no matter what.
I couldn't do it.
I've reached all the way down like I could like
feel my larynx.
I still couldn't throw up.
Rose. No, it's illegal all the way down, I could feel my larynx. I still couldn't throw up, Rose.
It's illegal in the lower 48, too.
So, feeling your larynx in public.
So, what happened after this, Father Seahorse?
Well, the plan was just to pretty much do it
till they kicked me out.
And, you know, so it worked out.
After that, I pretty much just ran down the street
to my friend's house,
and then we posted a video the next day, and posted it in a Pelic freakouts on Reddit and World Start
picked it up and they had it up there for like a day and then they took it down, but that's
where it got all the views from.
Are you going to do it again?
You could be like Bobcat Goldthwaite and he went around lighting talk shows on fire.
You remember that?
No.
Yeah, he went on every late night talk show
and tried to light their couch on fire.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I mean, you know,
well, we did actually have another one
where we got on our local radio
and, you know, my friend said the N word.
Yeah, that was pretty good to do.
That's on my channel.
Okay, let's not play that.
No.
Sean turned inside out last week
and we had a cowboy camey on. Oh be on. I just blanked out that one.
You caught that one.
Okay, so you got some inward pranks on you.
So what's your site?
Okay, so we have a DVD out now.
My website slimyspon.com.
And I just want to say, like, if anyone wants to buy the DVD, I'll donate all the money
to charity.
So that's just, no, no.
No.
Oh.
You sent it to me too, slimy spun.
What other kind of, what's your dream prank
that you want to dream here?
You know, for a while we wanted to go out
and do some sort of gun protest and get the news involved.
I think that'd be cool.
What kind of gun protest?
You know, say we're like superheroes against anti-fire
or something.
Okay.
I don't know, you know, lately I haven't been working as much,
but yeah, it's more so just slimyspind.com
for the DVD and I'll donate all the proceeds to curatism.
Oh, okay. What's on the DVD? So this is like a, this is like a troop. and I'll donate all the proceeds to curatism.
Oh, okay. What's on the DVD?
So this is like a, this is like a troupe.
It's like a comedy troupe, you got, right?
And you tell?
Well, yeah, yeah.
We're pretty much the most extreme edgy offensive comedy group
you've probably ever seen since Jack has possibly,
but maybe a little more political.
And so it's me and some buddies.
And yeah, we pretty much went out into the world
and unleashed ourselves. Yeah, exactly. Well, I really thank you for this.
I think part of the stand up too was I went to college at Kent State. And yeah, I'll just
that's what college made me feel like was just throwing up in that fucking bucket.
Yeah, sometimes it's the only thing they can can't take you away from you. Throwing up on a bucket.
You can just sit there and make yourself throw up
and ruin pretty much anything.
Yeah, just at any point.
Yeah, it's a big fuck you to that whole city.
I'm no longer in that city.
It's really great.
It's my favorite, I mean, I told them to be in a train.
I'm like, what I would be thinking is like,
is he gonna do, is he gonna get it done?
Is he gonna get it done?
You know, that's...
Yeah.
Any other pranks so we should know about?
Tell me what makes you a rage too.
Yeah, just check on my channel.
You can look up SlimeySpot and TV on YouTube.
That's pretty much where we've got all our stuff.
I don't wanna see this there too.
Yeah.
Yeah, so what makes me rage, um,
saying the end word on national okay, and the end word on the
on national radio, for sure. You can look at that video on my channel.
Yeah.
Wet nightmares. Yeah, what makes you a rage? What makes you rage? I also I love sexy kids. I think there's a few more sexy kids on the news and on Netflix.
More sexy kids on the news and on Netflix. Okay. I don't know how much support you're gonna probably need these. You might you might get canceled and have to go back to throwing up in a bucket. Something less controversial.
I told Maddox I would pay his rent if he did that and this guy's doing it for free.
Maddox doesn't know how good he has it.
He's lazy.
This guy's an up-and-comer.
He is a pussy.
He's doing it for free.
He's doing that shit.
Imagine if you could pay your rent just by throwing up in a bucket like that, sir.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's funny because I got like 80,000 views.
People think I made like $80,000 off that video.
Nah.
Don't models pay zero.
I mean, up to $0.
I mean, zero dollars.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, man, get out of here.
I love this video.
It's really brought me a lot of joy.
I'll think about it for the rest of my life.
Thank you.
All right, well, hey, thanks, Dick.
Appreciate you, man.
Yeah, see ya. Yeah. Okay. All right, well, hey, thanks, Dick. Appreciate you, man. Yeah, see ya.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, did anyone want to call in
and not talk about anything child related?
Please.
I'm gonna read some advice.
If anybody has a,
is it not child related, Digi?
Promise me it's not fucking child related.
Well,
advice for a guy with Vidaligo.
Hey, Dick, I'm a guy with Vidaligo
who is looking for some advice
on how to capitalize on his condition.
Oh, little splotchy.
We live in a time where the social value
of being part of a marginalized disadvantaged group
is at an all time high and I wanna take advantage of this.
If I were a big titty hoe,
I would open an only fans account
and use Vidaligo as my gimmick.
No, be hot, Vidaligo tits. Don't you think?
I could seriously get into that.
It's not doing it.
Like you're taking a map of the world, like taking a time
of graphical map of the world, just warping it on those tits.
Like when they wrap a car, you know, with an advertised advertisement,
wrap that fucking Vidaligo right on those tits.
That's what I'm, they have to be huge, of course, already, but.
Right.
Yeah, I don't think that's doing it for me.
That doesn't work for you?
No.
Weird.
Then get praised for being brave and empowering.
Unfortunately, I'm a guy.
Yeah.
True words or no.
But I still know.
No, it's working for me.
But I still know.
There has got to be a way for me to profit.
Hey, look, they're posting things.
What are they posting?
That's Fiddle I go.
That's working for you?
That bitch has Fiddle I go, right there.
No, I'm just saying that, like, look, there's this thing.
I mean, they're just showing examples
with what it's pointing out.
Looks like, I don't know what that looks like.
Oh, okay, well, I mean, it's like a Dalmatian.
They gotta have good spots.
That one's not working for me.
You know how some Dalmatians have spots?
It's hit up spots.
It doesn't seem to have any rhyme or reason.
No, it hits, you know?
No, it doesn't.
Yeah.
If someone with Vidaligo is putting makeup on the empty, on the white spaces to make it darker better. Is that blackface?
Think about that
But I still know there has got to be a way for me to profit off of Vidal I go and use it to get women money or both
John ham the guy who plays Don Draper has the same condition. Oh, I
Didn't know that. Oh, I didn't know that.
I didn't know that either. There you go.
He's probably got a little bit of discoloration
on his upper shoulder.
He's actually black.
Yeah, and he's on ham.
A black man.
Yeah, I suffer from Vidal Igo.
It's like that under his suit is all black skin
and only his head and his hands are Vidal Igo-ized.
Wow.
That's how we got ahead in life.
He had his blackness.
Yeah, how can I tap into my inner Don Draper
and market it to benefit me?
Just say that.
Just say me and Don Draper and John Ham
of something in common.
We're related actually.
John Ham is my cousin.
Right, right.
Not by marriage, we're related.
Start there.
Are there any Vidal IGO pickup lines?
I can be always, you can introduce my, you can introduce my spots to your parents.
Oh, if you have it.
Yeah, if you have it.
Think about it like, bitch, think about it like this.
You can introduce my, I'm like a, I'm like a,
I'm like a coat you can turn inside out.
You can go to a Black Lives Matter rally
and a white power rally.
Yeah.
Just depending on,
oh, no, I identify as this today.
I feel like all those lines are, yeah, start there.
Spank bank, expiration date.
Hey, Dick, I want you to take on something. Do you think, well, I mean, if you have Vidaligo,
first of all, all that peacocking shit, you have built in.
Imagine the lies that you could tell,
oh, yeah, I have Vidaligo, you should see
what it looks like on my penis area.
It gets fucking, it looks like a fucking barbers pole down there.
It looks like an Ann Frank post. Actually, my tent looks like a little unicorn, a big unicorn,
actually. It looks like it's a horse jumping off my dick. It doesn't matter.
It's very, very strange. You want to see, you can like, look at clouds, you can see what these
clouds look like on my ass. Hey, Jack, I want you to take on something. Do you think the spank bank has an expiration date, a negative interest, if you will? I'm sure most people
know what a spank bank is, but for those who don't, it's when you see or experience a sexy
person or situation, including performing actual sex acts with a person and think about
them for purposes of maximum arousal when you next jerk off. I'm currently 30, but I still
fap thinking about
the sexual encounters I had with a few girlfriends
that I managed to trick into being intimate with me
over a decade ago.
Those instances are still incredibly hot to me.
And as a shut-in blob monster,
experiencing new ones is almost impossible for me.
The most recent times I've had sex with hookers
have comparatively little to no refap value
as there is no emotional attachment involved.
Chicks are always fucking acting like they're all,
chicks emotions are shitty.
This is real deep emotion right here
that this guy's talking about.
If you can't jerk off to it then, it's not real.
Do you think this is weird?
I'm sure on some level it's psychologically detrimental
but he's gonna be like Rosebud jerking off to his.
Yeah.
That's what that movie was about.
Yeah, Rosebud.
I'm done here.
See, yawn, but you have your egg game in there somewhere.
If you could be roused from your slumber,
it'd be a part of...
Do you think this is weird?
I'm sure on some level it's psychologically detrimental, but is it something so far outside
the realm of normal that I need to start making a point to stop?
Man, I just described being 11 years old, getting turned on, so I don't think so.
It's not like I still care about these women or have hang-ups with them.
It's just the hottest shit I have ever personally experienced. And therefore, gets me off the quickest. Also watching another man fuck another woman is porn in porn is gay.
Thanks for any input, Dick. Yeah, you're welcome. Um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
shut in blob monster. Um, man, smoke him if you got him. If they still turn you on, go for it.
Fucking. I don't want to have any problem with it.
The best, the what you want ideally is to be creating new sexual memories while you're
thinking about old ones. That's ideal. Because then you can be thinking about previous ones
while you're in the middle of creating it. And then the next time you're thinking about
both, you're thinking about the last one that you created and that's also tied.
Yeah, you build on it.
Yeah, you have to come together.
You have to build these reasons, these chains,
to not kill yourself.
That's the secret of,
that's the, you just come,
it's like compounding interest of sexual encounters.
It's a good way of putting it.
Did you, oh, okay, did you,
oh, you called for me.
I think, then I gotta get some, let's do voicemail.
We'll talk to Digi and then we'll do voicemail.
I thought that.
Okay.
Digi, what's going on?
Yo.
What do you got to say?
What have you got?
I have an only fans account now.
Okay.
And I do Hentai Analysis and I made a video about why Cug porn is so popular.
So instead of just making a video about
whatever the hellmatics is talking about,
you can learn what Cug's why.
Why are they like this?
You can learn.
All right.
I'm into that.
Why did you put it on only fans?
Because YouTube, first of all,
we show actual porn in the video.
So it's just like wall-to-wall hand-tie.
Oh.
So, you know, I am merely the writer of these videos.
This is Dijie Bros. only fans who is not me.
That's your husband.
That's your husband.
Why?
Or husband.
Yeah.
Whatever you want.
Okay.
Partner. They are doing the voice. So, you know, it will be a,
a, a, an androgynous feminine voice over pornography. So basically what I'm saying is, I, you know,
I designed it in a way that you, if you want to jack off while you watch it, it's, you know, it could be done.
Okay. So my interest level just went from, uh, Digi-Nay talking over pornography to Digi-Bro talking,
just increased by a lot.
No, nothing personal.
Where can I, where can I go to see those?
OnlyFans.com slash Digi-Bro.
Okay.
And with Scott A and a nice little icon designed by Mint
of the Digi-Bro Unzipped, unzipping a
a breasted chest.
Okay.
Well, he's sort of an androgynous character.
We're going to have all the other guys going and stuff.
But, you know, just to, I wanted to talk about, because Cantillians earlier were saying something
about how there's no difference, or this huge difference rather between like seeing, like just going to
see tits and like seeing a chick getting railed by five dudes or whatever.
And like, I really think that's bizarre to even suggest because like what you get out
of what you see is completely dependent on you and your circumstances and mindset.
And like, I was super sheltered growing up, but that didn't lead to me like not getting
off.
It just led to me being able to get off at like the slightest suggestion of a boob, you
know, like, I don't even have to look at hardcore porn.
Like I'm fucking get horny looking at just anything because it's like, you know, good
point.
The wind blows.
Islamic men are not known for their,
like when they get online,
they're not known for their chastity
when it comes to prurient desires, are they?
Well, I think people are just,
they're unrealistic about this stuff
because this is all emotional.
You cannot apply like systemic autistic logic to this.
You can't just say like, oh, you saw
this and therefore you're into that and that's who you are. It's like, no, it's all
weird emotional shit that you don't understand. And it's kind of like what Sean was saying
about the, sometimes it's a guy who's just a cigar and having talked to the artists. I
feel the opposite. I think everything's a dick. Everything is a dick all the time.
And your inability to identify that it's a dick is why is a dick all the time and your inability to identify
that it's a dick is why you make art instead of saying, I want to suck cock. You know,
like, you make art because you can't articulate what the art means.
Artists.
And all cock suckers.
Yeah. So, like, you know, dick, I see you as sort of a modern straight Oscar wild. And
he wrote, you know, this long as he.
I don't want to commit to anything just here.
He wrote this long.
Long as he does think he knows better than everyone else.
Yeah.
Well, Dick also named drops of all the time.
But like, so I know he, look, it is trying to be him on some level, all the after-insum
and all that. I find his life far more fascinating
than anything he wrote or said.
Oscar Wilde.
Yeah, his life is fascinating.
I love his writing.
It's kind of a character study of what not to do
in so many ways.
Anyway.
He has a piece called The Critic as Artist,
where he talks about how, you know,
when a critic is reading into a
work, it's not about finding the intent, although that can be interesting. It's about like,
what did I get out of it and how well can I articulate that and tell my own story, you
know, using this as a platform, essentially. And so for Wild, he was like, sometimes
I like the analysis that I gave more than the original work, more than the intentions of the artist.
And that's how I've kind of approached my work is like, I do mostly analysis of stuff,
but I try to change.
I watch red letter media reviews all day.
Like, I'll just put them on.
I enjoy the analysis so much that it has replaced the prequels in my mind.
It has entirely justified the disaster because they're so enjoyable.
Well, it's especially helpful with bad movies like that where you can reinvent it and fill
in all the gaps and kind of explain how it could be good.
And it's like, it creates a whole other movie in your head.
That's true.
I really like insightful analysis.
But yeah, and now think about that as it applies to something like pornography, where
you can be watching a girl on girl porn and like Sean was saying he does imagine himself
like getting in on that because like you said, he's imagining something that isn't even
there.
It's not even on stress me, Sean, you don't want that.
He's bringing himself to a whole other world.
Yeah, go ahead.
Two girls worried about it.
She's in the play.
Oh, how many births?
I thought we
were just at Disneyland.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dicks like cut out the middle man. I'll just be the other bitch. At least I get tits.
Um, because you know, you don't need to have two girls. If you have your own tits,
there's still four tits for you to play with. You know what I'm saying? Well, you lost, you lost, you lost me on that
one, but I respect your, I respect your conclusion. I respect your right to say it, God,
Damon.
All right, Dijie. Well, we got to do more. I really had to say only fans.com slash Dijie
bro. I'm going to talk about NTR. Three reasons NTR is so popular is the NTR.
They're right now and that's NTR,
which is the Japanese term for cuckold porn.
Basically, just the Doltery-based porn.
Which is the most popular genre on almost all websites.
Like worldwide.
Yeah, NTR is the most popular genre of pornography
on anything like that.
I have never gotten cockckshed or NTR.
So I'll watch it.
Yeah, because, well, I think you'd have to relate
to it on some level, right?
I mean, that's, I just don't know.
Yes.
Well, it's three different people you can relate to
in the situation.
That's why there's three reasons.
I see.
I see.
I see.
But yeah, we'll also be doing just
Hentai reviews on there.
So every Saturday, we're going to be posting a video.
Some of them will be broad concept,
like explaining this fetish.
Some will be like diving into like a specific Hentai.
That's great that, you know,
we're exploring why it's so good, basically.
I'll check that out.
Thanks, Dij.
Hi. Peace out.
Peace out, buddy. Later.
All right. Okay, everyone, this has been the D Peace out. Later. All right.
Okay, everyone, this has been the Dixho.
Patreon.com slash the Dixho.
Dixho show.
See you next Tuesday.
This is Morgan McCool.
This is, he says, he rewrote Aussie Mandius for null.
Call null mandius.
I hope it's nice, but I never know.
I don't listen before.
I don't know about that.
They're very actively hostile towards me, all at once.
And it's just like, okay, I get one, I'm not welcome.
That's my support base.
And if I lose that, I lose everything that I've put.
That really fucked me.
Your stupid fucking Twitter account fucked me. I met a traveler from a tri-hard land who said, a vast and poorly moderated forum is
eating their leader alive.
Lo-tang is best he can, while Dick's Twitter fucks him, is null.
Null's grin and laughing eyes and sneer of cold judgment show that his doxxers
well those passions read which yet survive. Stamped on these, wept 1.0 things.
The man that mocked them, their milk he drink, and only about page these words appear.
milk, he drink, and only about page these words appear. My name is Nolpe, shepherd of shepherds.
Look on my herd and drink of their despair.
Few users remain, round the decay of that abandoned URL.
There's one lokal left, and he one low cow left.
And he will be slaughtered on his own farm.
Okay.
Lessa, song, spoken word. Now we got a guy throwing up for you.
Word.
I love that joke so much.
It's just throwing, it drives people insane.
They go instantly enraged if you try,
you remember when I was showing the boys how to do that, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I forget why.
Oh, they were doing tongue tricks.
My mom and my sister were showing them
that you can roll your tongue, check this out,
and I said, check this shit out.
Well, hey, hey.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Okay. Kids love it.
Let's do some voicemails.
Okay.
You know it's odd, but somebody sent me clips of Null saying exactly what I said about
lolly shit six months ago.
Really?
Yeah.
It's just, not only is it drawings, like it's drawings, if you hated it, it's a matter
it's drawings.
And also that, I mean, I've got to give him the right to changes to changes
mind if he really sure. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't know.
I mean, he obviously you could tell he feels very strongly about it for reasons that like,
like, I don't know, I don't know what his reasons are, but it is.
It did seem like a visceral reaction.
But then he was also saying how people who go around saying that they're going to murder, like, I'm going to murder a pet of vise and I don't think it seemed like a visceral reaction. But then he was also saying how people who go around saying that they're gonna murder, like,
oh, I'm gonna murder a pet of vise,
and I don't care, are also weird.
And I agree with that too.
Well, I bet that he was saying that,
like, I wouldn't feel anything if I was like,
well, I mean, I see.
Yeah, I see.
Like, yeah.
I don't know, man.
Yeah.
All right.
Whatever.
You know, I don't have any problems with it.
Uh, okay.
Hey, Dick Hachon.
Hey.
It features the whiskey walker.
Okay.
Now, I forgot my original wage due to the whiskey,
though my new rage is the price of abuse trucks.
Oh, I mean, my man, I'm just a 21-year-old.
I'm just trying to afford a new vehicle.
Yeah.
How's the fucking expense?
How's this truck still going for 22 grand?
They're great.
I want a truck.
I want to drive a truck around.
I'm driving my shitty carola.
I want a nice big truck.
Get a truck.
A powerful vehicle.
Run.
Yep, that's how they go.
No. I can't afford it. You can put an animal in the back of the car. powerful vehicle run yep that's how they go no
i can't afford it you can put an animal in the back of the past that's kind of
shit
uh... poor boy
trucks are like luxury vehicles
yeah
what is a kid they were
i can't
banshee
anyway love the show
dick shongle fuck yourself go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.
They really son, they butcher them and they don't have,
I mean, there are shitty versions anymore.
I rented one not long ago to pick up a couch across town.
And I got in, I think this one was,
this one was like a new Chevy.
And I was like, oh my God, it's a fucking luxury car inside.
They don't seem like pickup trucks anymore.
No, have you been in mine?
Yeah.
No, totally fucking different.
My brother has, I think, in this.
It's one of the fucking space pods.
That's around the same year and everything.
They're totally different.
They're not like these kind of bare bones,
even like Ford used to have like the XLT,
you know, the high end trim of the,
but still it was like, I mean,
they didn't make trucks with like captains chairs, you know,
like all that kind of shit.
They were still like utility based.
I think it was different.
It used to feel, my old, my 99 that I had before this one,
it feels like it's made out of cardboard.
Oh no, I had a 99.
Also.
The one that went to Mexico.
Yeah. The green one.
The green one, yeah.
I assume that's where it went.
I don't know.
Oh yeah.
Wind it back.
That was a great truck.
Let's get your truck.
Am I still runs?
Hey, Dick, I have another race for you here today.
It's being asked, are you busy with the severity of the question?
Yeah. Some amount of stated. I'm gonna need more information.
So I mean by that. Are you busy? Oh, because I need you to.
I'll get a call. I'll be asked, are you busy? And I'll ask, why? Because I want to know
what the fuck I'm being interrupted for. If I'm being interrupted to fucking ask what kind of tone of the printer uses, so
my really could go buy some after work or something. And I'm thinking, my coffee, yeah,
I'm fucking busy. I'll get back to you. You got to put it in the car.
What if you have to use a printer?
I'll send you a text. I'm fucking busy right now. But if I'm being interrupted, I'm not
really doing anything important.
Like drinking coffee.
Are you busy because there's been an emergency?
Well, not enough to fucking not go take care of that emergency.
Well, then you don't ask if you're busy.
Hey, fuck, let me know.
Tell me, what about your asking what I'm busy?
It's bad manners.
I know.
Are you busy?
I'll let you know.
Tell me why.
Maybe it's important enough for me to do right now.
Don't make me demonstrate that I have distrust for you.
I'm going to defer that if they're asking, that it's not that important.
Because it would be a thing that if it was an emergency, then they don't ask, or
you, it shouldn't, nobody should, why are you busy?
Probably even hours.
I'll get back to you.
Just send me a fucking text at that point.
All right, go fuck yourself.
I always go.
I love you.
If somebody says, are you busy, I go,
oh, man, I'm so busy.
I came to the thing.
I came off a couple things that I'm doing
because it's like, it's probably,
that might be something, depends on who the person is
and it might be something that I really don't want to do.
Yeah.
It's like, oh yeah, I know, I'm right in the middle of,
I'm on this and then like, so and so wants me
to output this.
Because you can't even say why,
because then they'll just go into it.
Why is the same as no?
Yeah, you busy?
Yeah, why?
Well, because I'm always going with if they're asking
that if you're busy, then it is not a high priority.
It's not, it's not,
I mean, get out of it.
It just not necessitate being done now.
You say yes?
No, we gotta prove it.
Yes, I am busy.
What if they asked you to do something fun? Are you busy? Yeah, I just had these two chicks, we're gonna go to prove it. Yes, I am busy. What if they asked you to do something fun?
Are you busy?
Yeah, I just had these two chicks,
we're gonna go to the beach.
I'm not busy.
Hang on, let me see, well, I'm right in the middle of this,
but let me see if I can move it around.
Let me see if I can move it around. Nah, no, is fucked. Yeah, that's what it is.
I didn't even talk about dying on this hill.
I was gonna talk about dying on this hill.
Oh, okay.
You ever died on a hill, Sean?
I try not to.
Try not to.
Yeah.
Let's see here.
Oh, yeah, this is pretty important one.
Okay.
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
You know what went your age?
Hey.
Bottles of water, or Gatorade, or whatever you think,
whatever, what a hat.
Yeah.
Or what have you, that I filled up like to the top right to the very top.
Okay, as soon as you unscrew that cap, guys everywhere. Still live in the place.
Love in the place. You know what you're talking about? Yeah. Also, what else? There's another one. Bottles? Did I not feel that better?
Oh.
It's not...
How do I measure it in American measurements?
We understand.
We understand, leaders.
And then, I don't want the air.
It's all in there.
I don't want your air. China.
China.
I don't want that air that...
I don't think he has too many full bottles around the house.
You know, judging by this phone call, pretty sure he's in.
I think he's emptied most of them.
That's a lot of empty models.
Chris.
Yeah, Chris, the key we sent me this nice picture of him.
Just he want to come back on.
I don't know.
Well, we're going to hear from him at some point.
A picture of him and a stuffed
Qualifier that he decided that he wanted to even help me see okay?
That's with without any explanation never an explanation just literally the attachment and that's it. Yes
It's always said
Him with stuff to call that is a strange individual man
Did he take multiple pictures to get the right one
or was this the one on?
Well, you can see, it's in a,
it looks like it's in a store or something.
So you know he didn't buy it.
He just picked it up to take the picture, right?
So what's he doing in a souvenir store in the first place?
So like I see these.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never been to Australia, I don't know.
Well, they just have Koala stores.
Oh, that's good to know.
Just, it's called the Koala store, and there's like,
it's a chain, and it's just like,
you don't like totally forgot to talk about.
I was, I figured out a way,
so everybody's talking about,
did you name being a pedophile?
I figured out a way to let people bet on it
on the blockchain.
How do you, how do you bet on something that, so you buy it, you buy the side that you want to bet on it on the blockchain. How do you, how do you bet on something that,
so you buy it, you buy the side that you want to bet on.
So if you want to put a hundred bucks on it,
what does he tell you?
I mean, well, if he ever gets busted,
then yours, it's in here.
Okay, so if you, you can buy in, yes he is,
and just get busted, but just because he doesn't get busted,
doesn't mean he may be a guy who is and never got busted.
I know you have to have an event.
Otherwise, it's unbeddable.
Yeah.
Then my side is, no.
So I would put in a thousand, I would buy a thousand no tokens.
And if you bought like one doll, if you bought in whatever you bought in, the percentage
of yes people, my side,
the other side would get divvyed out into.
You see people are just gonna send them stuff
exactly like what he likes.
Just try to trap them.
Yeah.
That's life.
Yeah.
Pretty funny though.
Is it funny enough?
I figured I had to do it on auger, on the blockchain.
I don't know, man. That's out of my realm. I think it's funny. I figured I had to do it on auger, on the blockchain. I don't know, man.
That's out of my realm.
I think it's funny.
I think it's funny.
Yeah.
Because it's so advanced.
It just depends how many times you get called a pedophile this week, I guess.
One is gonna do it.
I'm gonna fucking, it's the one more person does it.
I'm gonna find them.
You're just gonna do, I'm gonna seduce their wife over the internet and fly her out here
and fuck the shit out of her. That's what's gonna happen. Yeah, okay. And it'll be, I'm gonna find them. You're just gonna be able to do, I'm gonna seduce their wife over the internet and fly her out here and fuck the shit out of her.
That's what's gonna happen.
Yeah, okay.
And it'll be, I'm gonna do one of those,
it'll be one of those fucking thing,
V.I.s. pornos with, yeah, he's not.
Jokes on you, idiot.
Getting real tired of it.
Uh, okay, let's see here.
Hey, Dick.
So what makes me a rage is when you're trying to watch a video
or read about some science or math or whatever,
and then you come across a sentence that's like,
the amount of stars in our universe
is like 10 million billion trillion.
Yeah.
Instead, like, just give me the actual number.
It's relatable.
Like a six-grillion or whatever.
Mm-hmm.
Like, a trillion, that's not funny.
That.
If they were to say like, oh, there's like,
bazillion, nine,
this, a trillion, a trillion.
Quintillion, yeah.
Quintillion planets or whatever.
I could at least kind of pretend
that I'm smart enough to visualize that and my picture that
in my own head.
But when they say some shit like,
oh, it's four million, billion,
quadrillion, I have no fucking idea. The sky just gets agnus. I have
fuck this. I have not learned. I have no fucking idea. That's what takes them out of it.
Forget it. It's too big. It's beyond everything. It's fucking. When they
and billion fuck you dumb down math for normies. It makes it way harder. Go fuck yourself, dick, and Sean, and go fuck yourself
with all these science nerds who do this shit.
Yeah. I think you just fell over. Can we just admit that we can't do math and stop trying
to make it doable? You know what I mean? Sure. I mean, yeah, some people are,
most people are, they don't use a lot of math.
Clearly, I mean, yeah, concepts.
Just do it right away.
Here you go, here's some math.
Do you get it?
No.
Okay, go do some other shit then.
Why is it so fucking important that everybody know
and do math?
So annoying.
Yeah, I don't know, yeah.
I don't know.
Every time I see, oh, and then this, then then I saw somebody, I think I saw Scott Adam saying
something like this, like, and then, and we can invest
in the resources to teach more kids, man, why?
They're never gonna get it.
You don't get it.
Who fucking cares?
Well, yeah, oh, big fucking deal.
Not everybody's gonna get everything.
Some people are, they're just not wired that way.
There's certain concepts that are just not gonna be,
you know, they may understand other things,
but yeah, I don't know, I don't know that it's,
I don't know that it's crucial that everybody gets math
on a high level.
Millions and billions, millions of billions.
Well, what's the number then?
I mean, we're still, I mean, we're at two plus two equals five.
So it's, you know, I mean,
congratulations now everyone gets math. Two plus two equals five. Oh it's, you know, I mean, congratulations, now everyone gets math.
Two plus two equals five.
Oh, I know it.
Right, that makes sense.
Everything.
Great.
Yeah.
Four plus 17 is Jello, you know?
Oh, what number do I most identify with?
Somebody sent me in there,
they're doing like college stuff now,
they're starting college.
And part of the introduction was a questionnaire
that was a bunch of dumb horse shit
that you do at the beginning of college.
And one of the questions is,
what number do you most identify with?
This is waste of your fucking time on 69.
That's what I know.
Why would you?
Why would you most identify with?
Let's talk about it.
60% of the answers are gonna be, you know.
Seven.
What number do you most identify with?
Oh, this makes math so fun.
What does that even mean? Nothing. It means you're being taught by a woman. What does that, what does that even mean?
Nothing, it means you're being taught by a woman.
What, what?
That's what it means.
Why would you identify with a number?
I mean, feel have favorite numbers and favorite colors
and shit like that, but I mean, does it, but like is that,
but that's not really even identifying with it.
That's what it meant.
Like what's your favorite number?
It could be your, it was like what's your favorite
lucky number, favorite number.
I don't know.
In a math course? Not at no, favorite number i don't know in a math course
not at no that's worth of this on a fucking math course i can't see that
there's any
uh...
just make it a sense
now i know that i apologize to
all the liberals
previously i thought they were already a
for you know
do-no
fighting invisible enemy with the Nazi thing, thinking
that everybody's a Nazi and making you mind will see go around.
Yeah.
Just talking about how much you hate Nazis, as if those are really big Nazi-evanevics.
But then I found out that conservatives do it too.
It's just with pedophiles.
You're just supposed to walk around and talk about how much you hate pedophiles or around
you.
Sure.
Sure.
And if anybody questions anything that you say about it, the dumbest five percent of a pedophile.
You have to use them to put it back to the bed of five.
You're a pedophile.
The same.
Follow the same.
Sure.
It's all the same.
Very good observation by you, sir.
You're doing a little thing called thinking.
It's frowned upon.
It's just something really fucking funny.
It's a Colorado fucking.
I watched one of those stupid fucking body positivity
a Snapchat stories.
I was like taking shape or some shit like that.
I was called.
And it's the bitch who has
23 fucking inchips.
The fuck?
91, 3 inchips. 8 fucking feet around her. Disadvout
91 three-inch fucking feet around her
Wow
She's 500 fucking
100 million
Millimeters
100 million chicken McNuggets can fit within the volume of her body
billion chicken McNuggets can fit within the volume of her body. 16 tons of sweet and sour sauce. and then you're fucking making a salad everything it gets started with a little bit of a salad shit and then just get a bottle of ranch dressing without
like to cap or anything and just drizzle like dumps this fucking ranch
dressing you couldn't see any fucking letters or anything
fucking shit and she's just like she needs her calories
she's fucking they just so so much sugar like they did this thing.
This guy is great.
This guy is fucking clipped over sitting down like five times.
I think every time it said he would share a fucking
square whale tail.
No.
Literally the size of a whale.
It's like an earthquake when she fucking sat down.
And it happened.
She was like, she's under a thousand that you look skinny next to the fucking well
she goes
i don't know
i don't know
i wish the internet was fun
what are you supporting it
for a fucking point that
because the show was your
kid she goes
it was an overactive tyrant by kids like
uh...
the fact can overactive you can overactive tyrant by kids like uh... the fact
can overactive
you know that the right by
said
that we don't know
i have not because of that
questions are long
just a dumbass fucking shit it was like some booboo something which
i think you said it was a little record for
all it's like that Like the topic surgery one is like world record for
Largest hips if not the world, but if some woman coming up
Three fucking inches of just somebody there to take the title
I'm trying to those chairs and fucking break
Oh, we let have we listen to a podcast about that
See yeah We listen to a podcast about that. Fuck you. Let's go. See ya.
Yeah, that's 96. That's what passion that man is.
That is fucking enormous.
Remarkable.
Eight feet around.
Yeah, it's like,
Holy fuck.
You need a painter's,
like you need an industrial tape to measure that.
Yeah.
Measure your paints and feet.
You walked around or you'd run out of breath. Oh
My god, you couldn't even see you couldn't tell if she was facing away if you didn't see the face
Maybe if you even did see the face couldn't tell which way she was looking
Yeah, true. Oh god. So everyone
Child sexualization that's bad, but McDonald's happy meals, that's fine, right?
Just cramming sugars, snacks, and obesity, that's, is that okay?
We're fine with that, right?
Yeah, boy.
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, this next week.
Next week.
Next week, we're getting to that.
Next week, we're gonna be freaking out about that.
We can solve, all we have to do to solve the problems is get them all, get them all.
Okay? To solve all the problems.
First, we have to identify them all and then get them all and solve them all at the same time.
Yeah. Because otherwise you'll solve one and another one will get worse.
So we have to get all of them and put them in order.
Right. And then do a podcast about it.
Yeah.
One, you want to do one more. Yeah, we can do one more.
Okay.
One more.
Andrew from Eugene, Oregon always.
Oh, there you go.
You know the big show, another thing that really turns my punch bowl is, I could talk
forever, I'm sure you know, about the whole second amendment thing.
But when people, when they can't fairing gun drivers, and look, it doesn't matter what they think, but they really
want us to take the gun. They don't have any
negligent fucking take on the second amendment. That's fucking all. They just,
they just want to take your gun. The ones that they're, they're okay with you having,
like the, yeah, Ruger 14, the Ruger mini 14, if they knew what that could do,
they'd want to take that to.
Fucking believe me.
But when they specifically say, well-regulated militia though, this is well-regulated militia
mean.
I mean, you can't own a weapon and war.
It's like, okay, so we're operating under the pre-supposition, that it's a militia,
but of course, this lady, oh, it's a well-regulated relationship, which means
you can't have there, Hattin.
Rich, where do you think that a militia is
without modern fighting weapons?
What the fuck are you talking about?
You stupid, stupid bitch!
It is.
There I go.
There's the history on guns is so, Adam.
People still will say,
oh, automatic weapons weren't around
when the Bill of Rights was written,
which is just like totally false.
They had Thomas Jefferson himself owned multiple rifles
that had 22 round magazines
and could discharge all of them in under a minute.
So really, I didn't know about that.
I definitely knew about the Michael Brand was even before that.
Definitely knew like the first machine guns and things like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't know there were, so basically he had, there was a semi-automatic weapon.
Yeah, I think you had to pull the trigger.
Because normally, I know, I think I remember reading that if you,
around civil war times in the muskets,
if you were able to get off two shots roughly in a minute,
that was about as fast as you could do it.
Because of that, you know, you have loaded, fucking clean it.
If I can put it down, load it.
He had to charge his, this is his,
so he gave, he got two of them,
he gave them, he gave them, he gave them to lose in Clark, yeah, he gave them to lose in Clark and they would go into town
when they were going across America
and they just bought it.
They would go into town
and they would demonstrate the gun.
Yeah.
Right.
And then the people would go,
oh, we're not gonna fuck with those guys.
Yeah, he just, just show.
It's a show of force.
Check this out.
Thomas Jefferson gave me this shit.
Broom.
What's up?
That's great.
I'm gonna read about that.
The Gira.
Gira Doni.
Gira Ardoni Air Rifle.
Thomas Jefferson owned two of them.
And then the Puckle Gun was even before that.
Wow.
I think.
Yeah, 1718.
And the Puckle Gun was the first machine gun.
No, it's like it, I mean, it, it drives me insane that they,
not only will they not give these guys the ability to like
imagine that these guns existed.
Yeah.
You're talking about dudes who wrote stories about going to the fucking moon.
Yeah.
You know?
But then it actually existed.
Yeah.
And they personally own them.
Wow.
Idiots.
I can't be reached out.
There you go.
All right, everybody.
Big shot.
See ya.
Thank you.
Reload. It's not semi-automatic.
Butterbar says it's not semi-automatic.
So what, it's automatic?
The air rifle was a one shot weapon.
It's semi-auto, you pull the trigger, isn't it?
Pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup, pup.
How am I wrong?
Well, we're talking about, we don't care about modern air rifles.
I, what was the Girdani one?
Fully semi-automatic mother fucker.
Oh God.
Repeating crossbow.
There you go.
This was invented in China.
Yeah.
When was this?
What year was this?
Oh, fourth century BC.
Okay. Repeating crossbow. okay repeating crossbow repeating crossbow
You load one round load another
No, that's not what no, I don't think so
Why am I in trouble?
What about the other one?
What about the puckel gun or what I'm sorry, bone what happened a bunch? I told them to call in. It's just too much lolly shit
I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm sorry. I thought it was a spring fed magazine. Some of the weapons were also. 20 balls. Yeah, but then shooter could reload. So you had to reload it? I'm pulling a transverse
chamber bar out of the breach, which allowed a ball to be slide. Yeah. So you had, okay, so,
well, yeah, I mean, kind of, right?
I mean, it's, you didn't have to,
if not, I guess not, I mean, it just had a reservoir,
basically, right?
Oh, okay.
Pull the breach back, load it, fire.
No, it's closer to a, oh, it's bolt action, okay.
Oh, bolt action.
Yeah, okay, so.
All right, well, whatever, fuck you.
It's not semi-auto, it's bolt action.
A bolt action, like a...
But you could still discharge the whole magazine
in under a minute, is that right?
I mean, as opposed to like what, putting powder,
putting a ball, that, you know, like a
muzzle loading weapon or something, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yes, you could.
Okay, so that's cool.
That's cool.
A bolt action.
So basically, the end result is that it was a higher
technology than what was normal for the time.
And it would have impressed the shit out of people and probably scared them.
Being able to get off that many rounds in.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay. All right. Goodbye.
See ya.
Please tell the gun people to get me on that instead of calling me a fucking pedophile all week.
They can do both.
me a fucking pedophile all week.
They can do both.