The Dick Show - Episode 229 - Dick on the Antifa Horror Movie
Episode Date: October 20, 2020Vito's Antifa Horror Movie, dogs with no eyes and the women who compliment them, the actual Trump sign guy, Tim Heidecker gets my Twitter account canceled because he is jealous of my masculine comedy,... cougars and the no one who loved them, the great ammo shortage, breeding shoulders, Road Rage: Tampa is almost announced, The ADL vs. Gamers, a family piss duel, shooting net guns at criminals, and trans Jesus' sexual preferences; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.
Transcript
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Oh God.
I was so together today.
Yeah, I could tell.
I was, no, I really, I was just dicking around.
Honey, can you grab my notes?
Did I just leave them in the guest room?
No, she is. How could you have lost my notes?
Huh, honey?
I don't know why.
I thought everything was fine.
It clearly isn't.
It's clearly all fucked up.
How you doing, Vida?
How am I doing?
I feel like good, but I don't know why.
Yeah, I have that feeling.
Yeah, I don't feel good.
I forgot the fucking link, late and gay,
everybody I know, I know, I know.
I saved the show today, connecting to the live.
Yeah, you did.
There would have been no link. It would have been no link.
Do we have a watch later?
Without yeah without having a link. Yeah, with that no time. No, no, but I mean like who
Thank you, maybe how would you have known?
Just nobody down. I would have looked for the link to broadcast on. Hmm. Did I even hit I I think God I hit go live. Oh, thank God.
The automatic go live is on.
Oh, that's what that means.
Oh, that's a little scary.
I hate being a bad host when you're coming in,
you're coming in hot with all kinds of stuff
to give me and I'm fiddling around.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Hey, hey, buddy, I got you this,
I can, I can't pay attention.
Even the network television stations are all broken
with all their live broadcasts.
Are they?
Yeah, they keep broadcast in dead air and like random stuff.
They can't coordinate anything.
Awful.
Nothing, nothing worse than dead air.
How is this a sound?
How does it sound everybody?
Never been more late in gay.
Oh, really?
I think we've been later in gay. I think we've been later in gay.
I think we've been later in gay.
Remember when I forgot to hit the stream,
we were going for like 30 minutes before I was telling
some stories.
It was like three weeks ago.
I have almost spelt three weeks ago.
No, that was a...
Oh, well.
Usually I like to sort my notes out
in the privacy of my own private mind,
but now I have to do it in front of everybody
because I messed up so much.
VICE, yeah, there you go.
Ah.
Ah.
How you doing, Vets?
I don't know.
I feel okay.
I feel okay.
Yeah.
That's all anybody can expect.
Bit lousy.
I think it's too much.
Bit lousy.
Bit lousy.
Well, I had, I have good news.
That's probably why I'm all fucked up.
Mm.
My Patreon just hit a thousand dollars a month,
so I'm very excited about that.
That's great.
That is good.
I can afford to fund some of what I'm doing.
Fund.
We have.
Like it.
It's a time suck, man.
I used to make like that shit.
What do you,
fund it?
What do you mean?
I'm making content. Funding like a comedy machine.
What do you talk about?
Yeah, he's making it turn a dollars into cents.
Yeah.
If I was everything,
I always got to be like a investment.
I, that's, I don't know.
That's how I view my work.
It's an investment.
What are you funding?
Just the ability to sit down and waste a bunch of time
talking about Star Wars,
which is completely unnecessary, but
The world needs. Yeah, well, it has needed. It kind of is. He bumped me up a little bit, Sean, so I have to talk right into the mic.
I can sit down for a month and write the stupidest script and what kind of script?
What are we doing that script together? I want to talk about that with you. Oh, all right. Because that's an idea
I've had for a while and I was was like, oh, Dick actually has connections
that could like make that very interesting.
You mean because from the evil dead?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, Dick was talking about it.
Just could we write a better movie than this?
Well, I had an idea for a horror show.
Yeah, a horror movie.
Okay.
Should I wait to talk about it?
I don't even want to talk about it now.
Well, I mean, you can tease it now.
Well, I mean, is this part of the show,
or are we in a show at the moment?
Is it Sean? He's not just Sean. I think that's the cold open edits. Well, I mean, is this part of the show, or are we gonna show up the show? Is it Sean?
He's not just Sean.
I've had the cold open edits.
Yeah, sure.
Ooh, this is gonna be the show today.
This week, you're like,
I'm drilling for oil.
I've given up on that.
You've given up on cutting it out.
There's no sync out on a Discord and YouTube audio.
It's either one of the,
yes, it's one of the other.
What do you mean?
How could, we're broadcasting to two different things.
I'm connected directly to voice on Discord,
and the other one's going through YouTube's lag machine.
Ah, yes, the lag machine.
Of course.
Does lag insanely behind,
because I streamed a Twitch in YouTube,
but Twitch is like instantaneous.
Yeah.
Oh, a Twitch is?
Yeah, Twitch is. My Twitch isn't. It takes forever. Really? Everybody always tells me how Twitch is like instantaneous. Yeah. Oh, and do you Twitch is? Yeah, Twitch is.
My Twitch isn't it takes forever.
Really?
Everybody always tells me on Twitch that this is 10 to 15 seconds ahead of the YouTube.
You know what I hate on all these platforms?
Is you get killed if you say the N word, but there's no like...
Oh, he's a great start to a thought.
But there's no drop.
There's no drop.
But there's no like...
Oh, shit, I said it.
I said, I mean, before it goes to no dump button,
like before it goes out.
And I know, I know a computer.
I know a computer can detect it, so why doesn't it just
bleed but out?
Yeah.
Like why doesn't all of them just bleed but out?
It is stupid.
Nobody wants the backlash for that kind of sensor
who wrote that.
YouTube is afraid of the black vote too. They don't want to lose there.
I don't, you know what,
I was like, we don't want to be the ones
to sensor free speech.
But you do.
You always are.
I know, I can't say it.
I know, but they don't want the computer.
They don't want to be the ones responsible.
I can't go on Twitter for writing that.
Oh, he said it.
Well, you guys, I mean, I know how computers work.
I know.
I know. If it matches this, they forgot the caps.
We're getting, you know what, we've just realized
that we got caps.
Well, some people are allowed to say it
depending on the situation.
That's the problem.
We're gonna be having that conversation
until we're dead.
Yeah, we're all dead.
It's a real dumb one.
I'm not gonna look at our kids in the face.
You're not having that conversation. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not I just I just don't care who to do. Yeah, I just want to dump button
That's not so much that's not something that takes up a whole lot of time in my life
I just go that's just a word I just
Not gonna say take up every waking moment of your life is how what words you can and cannot say that's what I meant
It takes up every waking moment of my life. I'm every waking moment of my life
I said every waking moment of my life. Say it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hold it a little bit.
You wanted to get you to get lucky.
You got it.
It's a show.
I was in contests.
I'm going to you laugh around.
I'm going to see you.
See you.
See you.
See you.
I almost had Pennsylvania.
Do you have the heart of Pennsylvania?
Yeah.
There's his homage.
Dick.
Show.
20 billion dollar man.
America's worst Mexican. 79 weeks running. Joining me is always the world touring LA based comedian, Sean the audio engineer.
Based LA comedian now, not LA based comedian,
based LA comedian.
I just were not killing yourself
because I fucking Tim Heidecker.
I just fucking Tim Heidecker.
The most unfunniest Tim Heidecker.
Is he a comedian?
No.
No, he's not a comedian.
Do you believe in unintentional comedian? No, he's not funny in any way. No, he's not a comedian. You blood unintentional comedian.
No, he's not funny in any way.
He's like a foot.
He's like a comedy.
I know the comedy.
If the concept of comedy had cancer, that's, and it was a, it was something you went to
the doctor to get a biopsy on and it came back as benign.
That's Tim Hidecker.
Definitely not even a cancer.
Just a, just a, a cyst that exists on the stomach, on the, on the prostate of comedy.
Oof.
Taking himself so fucking, Tim Heidecker, you may remember as the guy who got Sam Heide's
show canceled.
Yes.
And then through a fit about it, he wrote the song, I am a cuck.
He had his chance at making a great standout moat like, what were the, what are the great
standout movies of our time?
Happy Billy Madison, happy Gilmore, Ace Ventura, pet detective, right?
These movies that took a no name, comedy, cult superhero for us and elevated them to
super celebrity stardom, right?
These movies, not blazing saddles.
I don't know, I'm that you can't make what you cannot make today.
I was just going to say it.
Can't make that movie today.
Can't make that.
Tim Heidecker had his shot to make that movie.
What the handcart costs $50 today.
I mean, nobody would believe it.
You know, that movie today.
We almost lost a $50 handcart.
The way he's looking at her boobs,
you can't put tits that size in a movie today.
Oh, man.
Guys would be going nuts, killing each other,
shooting up schools the next day.
You can't put tits that size not a lot of pants tits.
You got to put, you have to put tomboy's.
Yeah.
No movies now.
Nobody says her own.
I saw fucking license plate yesterday that was her rump.
Officer.
Driving a Tesla.
I try to take a picture of it.
Yeah.
Baby, look at this.
Look at this.
You want to rear in this guy and steal that plate.
You watch your ass.
So your theory is Tim Heidecker screwed up his
chance at the, he had the personality led movie. Him and Eric Wareheim had their chance
to make the billion dollar movie, right? Which could have been good. And it was off.
Tim and Eric. Tim and Eric. Awesome show. Tim's a fucking okay. So it is who I thought
was. Tim Heidecker. That's fuck yeah. That that fat fuck. Yeah, I know you'll say that. That idiot Tim Heidecker, this fucking sucks.
Tim Heidecker, fucking sucks.
I liked Billion Dollar, I mean, it's not great.
Billion Dollar movie, stop watchable.
It was, man, I cringed, I made myself watch it.
I had to stop halfway through, it was so bad.
That, what was the hook of that movie?
They're shitting in a tub of shit on themselves
and they call it Schleam.
They're like waiting around and shit.
A bunch of stupid celebrity cameos.
Buck and horrible movie.
I forget exactly.
I know that they have to,
there's a mall that's in trouble
and they take charge of the mall
and they have to.
A shit mall.
So I had a way to make the mall profit about.
So bad.
So up his own ass.
That's the moment.
That's the up his own ass.
So high-decker is friends with women.
That's what he, that's if I could sum up to him, high-decker is friends with women. That's what, if I could sum up Tim Heidecker, how's Tim Heidecker?
Oh, he has a lot of, he has a lot of female friends.
That's what I would say about Tim Heidecker.
All I said, he was trying to get somebody removed, kicked off a YouTube, being a little
tattletail.
Oh, okay.
Now we're getting to the meat of the chicken.
All I said was, I see what that was.
Motherfucker, all I said was motherfucker,
I was trying to celebrate Black History Month.
And I said, you know how I talk, mother fucka.
Yeah, I say that, that's how I talk.
Right, it's a black woman.
That's how my culture communicates.
Motherfucker trying to get,
motherfucker's trying to get a sausage egg biscuit
and it's 11 a.m. right?
Totally normal way to talk where I'm from.
Yeah, can a motherfucker get a sausage and a.
Can a motherfucker get a sausage?
Did they tell you what tweet you were banned for?
That one.
It said the one that you said motherfucker?
I didn't know, I didn't get it.
I don't know.
You don't know why you got banned.
No, because I auto-delete all my fucking tweets.
I have them all in auto-delete.
I saw I said, motherfucker didn't quit after he got Sam Hyde canceled about Tim Hydecker.
Yeah.
If anybody had any questions about why MDE, a million dollar stream is off the air, dot,
dot, dot, and then Tim Hydecker's we fucking immediately immediately at the band immediately
I thought I was gonna hit 20,000 people
on the first fucking time for the first fucking time.
You know how many times I've laughed at that?
Jesus.
I should have hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter
but I keep getting fucked.
I got my polyps like Tim Heidecker.
It's confusing.
I don't know how you get somebody banned though,
because he's a blue check.
Because he had been on the other blue.
If he report anybody, they get banned.
Yes, right away.
Right away, and I got there.
It was right there.
Right when the fucking day started.
I'm like, six a.m.
Boom, done.
That's when the Indian squad shows up to start banning.
Motherfucker is a perfectly fine way to refer to somebody.
This motherfucker over here,
motherfucker over here didn't quit while he was ahead.
I love this motherfucker.
That's what I said.
I don't love Tim Hidecker though.
Right.
Oh, so pissed about it.
So fucking pissed.
You, this was today, you woke up to find that?
It's a couple of days ago.
So now I'm based LA comedian.
No, probably you're not based.
Sean is based LA.
I just found out what based, okay.
You just found out what based.
Did you look it up for real?
No, you still don't really get it.
No, I believe you on that.
It's just like, I don't understand why it's not based.
But it's just like the opposite of being woke, isn't it?
Is that, I don't know.
I know exactly as much as you've told me about it.
Trying to think the right word to define,
like I get the context they use it in.
Base.
Have you ever been called based?
I doubt it.
I've been called based.
Recently, I said something about the month whom.
I was talking about cool, someone who was based themselves.
And I'll see you in response to a good take that I had on the Twitter.
Okay, so if you guys how to do a good take.
If anybody has like a reasonable rational take on something,
then one side or no, one side or the other
is gonna like paint you extreme.
Huh.
Face just kinda like, you're not,
like it's almost a little edgy, but like, correct.
Like, yeah, you said that.
In that order.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Edgy and correct.
So I was talking about the,
you heard about the French Muslim guy got
beheaded. Oh, yeah. Thank God. Yeah. What?
I'm sick of what's that? I'm sick of people talking to
about Muhammad. Yeah. I'm sick of people thinking they could show
Muhammad get away with it. Good point. That happened again.
Yeah. I don't know why. I mean, that's what they said they were going to do.
Right. Well, that's what those guys said they were gonna do.
Well, France is the like,
France is the most capital world.
But they're also the most anti-Muslim country,
like on earth.
Yeah, in the first world.
See, you know, how come they can't have like,
we'll be head you if you draw Muhammad
and if you post any pictures of,
and if you post another picture of Lena Dunham
in one of her bikinis.
Mm. You want the headings for that.
Well, I'm just saying,
you've gotta give some sugar with your pronouncements.
You gotta give a little bit of honey with the vinegar
or you're gonna scare people away from a lot.
Then everybody would be on board with the muzzle and thing.
We'd be like, well, I mean,
Lena Dunham shouldn't be dressing that way.
I mean, I don't wanna speak on behalf of a lot,
but I don't think he would approve of that.
More than being drawn. Yeah, what do you think?
I can't speak for all unfortunately. I wouldn't dare. I would not dare because of the beheading, right?
Yeah, I don't want Muhammad to be upset with me. No, I saw some I saw some had mother fucker.
He's got some fun.
Mother bugger. See? Yeah, it's not offensive. Fuck around.
I'm on the bugger. See?
It's not offensive.
You can fuck around.
I saw some stupid chick say that,
you know, maybe we should just stop showing pictures
of Muhammad then.
Why don't you guys just stop trying Muhammad?
Yeah, that's a little bit.
We have so much more to worry about.
And I thought, do you think that that's the only thing
they're willing to chop heads off of?
Like, this is the Brown M&Ms of their writer of the
is law of the fundamentalist Islam writer not drawing Muhammad is we don't want any
brown M&Ms in our dressing room they've got other things that they're willing to kill
you for right I don't know if it's I don't know if you need to wait for like fundamentalist
Islam visibility day but believe me you being Twitter, having an opinion on whether or
not people should be drawing Muhammad.
You idiot.
You stupid bitch.
A woman with an opinion.
That's not going to shut that down.
That's off.
Remember that episode of South Park about the goo, celebrity goo machine and making fun of
Muhammad and they were objecting Muhammad to get the power to not be made fun of.
It's like a three part episode where they kind of ruined the Scott Tenerman thing. Yeah. Yeah.
And they bleeped out the whole speech at the end. Do you remember that?
Because Comedy Central wouldn't let him, right? Yeah, I finally heard that speech.
I don't know why, but I'm on this Plex server that a dick had sent me. Yeah.
That has all the South Park episodes because it because I bought into the whole thing
where you don't need to pirate and you just pay for unlimited subscriptions to these
things. They make it so you end up having to pirate again.
Yeah, then they just remove shit. Yeah, they remove.
Are they were?
Because of contract. Yeah, they keep fucking deleted all these
episodes. Yeah, because they only license it right for a specific
period of time. And then they see who they can get a better deal
with. Well, they've also now started removing specific episodes
that have racial implications.
They got, I know.
Right now on adult swim,
you can't watch certain episodes of the boondocks
of Awkweteen Hunger Force,
that you can't watch the Michael Jackson version
of the Simpsons, which we've talked about.
30 Rock, the office.
They've just, even if you have the streaming service,
they're like, oh, you can't watch that episode anymore.
Like, well, why the fuck not? It's the, what has changed
one misunderstood this the first time it was through. Yeah. Um, yeah. That was, uh, I
don't want to be that white guy, but I'm like, the moment where I'm like, this blank lives
matters gone a bit too far. Are you playing black lives matters? Well, I mean, you know,
it is target lives matter. Look, all of this, all of this is because of white women.
Trust me, I was raised by one.
I know the deaths of their fun killing,
and I got, I got showped subbed in my mouth more than once
for saying, damn, or pissed, if you grew up,
if you grew up wondering if pissed was a bad word,
then you know the evilness of white women.
Right.
And how they are to blame for all censorship.
Somebody said, somebody said it perfectly.
I can't remember who said it, but they said, black lives matter is a cult for white people.
Yeah.
And it's, that's what it became.
It was great when it started off and it's like, you know, police brutality is a problem.
I'm like, yeah, I'm on board with that.
That's great.
And then it was like, we got to do.
I'm terrified of the police. I'm like yeah, I'm on board with that. That's great. And then it was like we got it
I want to give them I want to like get them high when I get pulled over because I don't want to get shot Yeah, I see them moseying up like John Wayne. Oh God, please think about that
I'm a Vegas crawling down the hallway towards the cop
Put your hands down put your hands on your ass. Yeah.
Do a cock push up.
Try to pull up his pants and the cop just lights him up.
Do this Rubik's cube.
Yeah.
I saw that video and I was like, oh my God.
That video haunts me.
And then that cop, it's like, yeah, well,
I mean, he reached for his pants.
So yeah, because his pants were falling down
and like, it's actually, if my pants fall down,
I go, are you making him fall?
Oh, shit, yeah, right.
Yeah, right. That's my, how did he sit there?
A regular guy.
Yeah, Judge Dredd.
Yeah, like the lie on his stomach or something.
Like the less he's moving, the less dangerous he is.
As a fact, I, whose pants fall down on occasion,
that's my greatest fear.
Now, as to the cops, it's gonna make me crawl towards him.
And my pants are gonna be falling down,
and you're gonna go, well, if I touch him, I die!
I'm flailing out the side.
Yeah.
And your butt's coming out.
So I guess I inch by inch.
Yeah.
So I really identify with that clip more than I should.
I guess.
I never understand why fat people's pants fall down.
Because we don't have that.
Should I hit it?
I say straight down.
Got it.
You have nothing to do in the 180 pound club hit hit bones.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
What were we talking about before black, black lives?
Uh, they're getting rid of all the TV shows we like.
You know, I finally heard that South Park speech.
Oh, yeah.
That was bleeped out.
It's been bugging me for like 10 years.
What's it?
Yeah.
Uh, the whole, the speech was just, well, the real lesson of the story is as long
as you're committed to committing violence, as long as you're able, as long as you're
willing to commit violence for whatever you believe in, you win no matter what. Uh-huh.
That's it. Yeah. There's no, there was no corollary to that. It blaped that out for some
reason. That's so dark. Yeah. Yeah. Because they did win. The, The muzzle number one. We said we wouldn't go straight.
If you put this in the TV show and then we didn't put it in the TV show.
Do you think that guy regretted showing Muhammad?
I would.
Well, the guy got his head cut off.
Yeah.
Do you think that like while he was getting his head cut, I was like, I shouldn't have shown
that.
He's probably like worth it.
You think?
No.
I wouldn't be.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I know. He was a teacher, you know, teaching about the limits of self expression or free
expression or whatever else.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just should let everyone be ignorant and stupid.
It's the whole weakest link thing, you know, how, how, how much freedom do some people
allow of expression of ideas and stuff like that?
That's the weak link.
There goes your head.
I can believe that dumb bitch.
Maybe we should just stop trying to be like, what the fuck? What do you exist on our own? Yeah, I know. It's your weak link. There goes your head. I can believe that dumb bitch. Maybe we should just stop drawing, but I'm like, what the fuck?
What do you exist on our own?
I'm a volunteer white lady.
Why does shoes from Target,
shoes manufactured in a Target,
shipped on a Target truck.
White women have all the solutions.
They really do.
I've noticed.
They really do.
Why don't we just not drum move, hum it then.
Geez.
I got my gun.
I got my router.
I saw it there.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Did it get you erect?
Yeah, I had to go back to my car and get my other pair of jeans.
Did it pull your jeans up?
It pulled my jeans up.
Yeah, my jeans are not falling off.
Do you see that fucking guy?
It's not my hip bones.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I worked out twice and took a picture of myself.
Oh, I found like Rambo.
Yeah. It's gigantic, dude. That found like Rambo. It's gigantic dude.
That gun of self, it's like a full big asshole.
Or no, it's a, it's a, yeah, it's like a sniper rifle.
Oh shit.
It's a self-defense sniper rifle.
Ooh.
So have you put me in a self-defense situation
anywhere in a mile radius?
Right.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to, right.
I'm gonna have to have to castle when to have to have to have to have a car.
Test the wind, I got to find a good, you know, mount spot.
Corialis effect.
Corialis effect.
Right, right.
I can't shut up about it now.
That hot dog won't even make it out of Hassel Sand.
Yeah, that's not something.
Hey dude, you dropped your, whoa, there it goes.
So somebody said to me, oh, do you know about those snipers?
How they have to like compensate for the rotation?
Like it's quarry, I was a fact.
Oh Jesus.
Jump right down your fucking throat.
That'll show you to embrace my hobbies.
Shooting like a mile, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Or more.
Well, I would.
Yeah.
If I had a scope or bullets
Can you get bullets you can't no no, yeah, I'm at like bullets dot cn dot co
Oh trying to find trying to buy bullets at a $10 a piece like Amazon sells them
They're sold out everywhere wouldn't be great
Amazon so I don't know how we eat the bullet truck outside.
He's gonna drive by.
It's like free bullets.
We had plenty of time to not predict.
He says no bullets anywhere.
He said motherfucker.
motherfucker's trying to get some bullets over here.
Free bullets for non-mother fuckers.
I can just brandish it.
That's scary, but it has no scope.
Right.
I ordered a scope before I got the gun thinking I had it. All this gun, the it has no scope. Right. Order the, I ordered a scope before I got
the gun thinking I had it all this gun. The whole gun experience has been a disaster.
I'm not okay. First of all, I went to a gun store that is 50 minutes out of my, I have
a perfectly good gun store, Turner's in Pasadena down the street. Nice target Pasadena.
Yeah. That I wanted to go to. Is that the one right next to the pet code?
Yeah. Yeah. And a little one. Is that where we got, that's where to go to the one right next to the pet code. Yeah, yeah, and a little one.
Is that where we got, that's where we got our hamster from the,
from the gunster.
That's a one-stop shot.
Yeah, we have David Buster.
So how do you think you're gonna, you got to,
you got to calibrate the weapon.
There you go.
That's not funny.
Oh, it's hilarious.
It is not funny.
It is not cruelty.
That's definitely funny.
That's not funny.
They don't last that long anyway.
Come on.
Oh, I'm gonna behead you right now for that.
Easy motherfucker.
So, what was I, oh yeah, I was gonna go to the one in Pasadena
right down the street.
Because you know, you have to go like 20 times.
It's harder to get a gun than it is to get laid.
Yeah.
You gotta go, they ride, arise, you go again
and start your background check for $40 and you finally go again and get laid. You gotta go, they ride a ride, you go again and start your background check for $40
and you finally go again and get it.
And you need your passport to get bullets.
So is the first time?
Is the first time you think?
Really.
Yeah, unless you have a real ID, I don't have one of those because they let so many Mexicans
in California that they can't sell you, it makes no sense saying that loud.
Because an ID may not be legit.
Yeah, they might fake IDs.
Well, then where where on earth are the illegals going to get their illegal weapons?
Oh my god, I don't know.
The first truck idea or the gun or the first trip to first trip.
So order the gun.
Yeah.
And the second trip is to do the background check when the gun is arrived.
They can't do the background check while they're waiting for the gun.
You know, you really think you really think that they could do that.
Right, right.
Don't you veto.
But time turns out anything might, how could they? Your't you, Vito? But, turn it out.
Anything might, how could they, your background will be totally different when you come pick it up.
Right, right.
You know, my kill 50 people between the time the gun is showing up.
And that would be on the background report, of course.
Right.
I had this whole plan of being a bonding experience with me and my brother-in-law,
because my brother-in-law finally, my sister finally fucked up and let him get guns during the riots.
You know, my sister saw all those white people burning down Starbucks is on the news
and she's like, you need to get armed.
Yeah.
So he bought a giant gun safe.
This is 30 miles away from us.
Yeah, and we have the National Guard and I mean, you know about the Coriolis effect.
You may have to shoot 30 miles, honey.
And Teefe is lighten all those fires.
How big of a mob do you think you could take down
if I'd a mile out, Sean?
Oh, no idea.
What do I have?
Take them out.
Take them out.
Take the whole thing out.
You have only hot dogs in your wits.
How many hot dogs in my wits?
How big of a mob do you think you could take out?
Not hot.
Wait a minute.
It's hot dogs. Hang on your orders. Hot dogs are hot wits. How big of a lobbyist think you could take out? Not hot. Wait a minute. Like hot dogs.
Hang on, you're not hot dogs.
Hot dogs are hot links.
Hot links.
Which one do you want?
Hot links.
Hot links.
Yeah.
Then hot links.
There's many as I have hot links for.
Okay.
All right.
Good answer.
I wanted to make it a whole bonding experience
with my brother-in-law.
So I up, I moved heaven and earth to go to a turners that was closer to him, which
is way out of my way. And then that guy throws in an additional gun that they're completely
sold out of. So you have to wait. So in order for me to pick up my gun arrives, I'm like,
hey, let's go get guns. And he says, well, I don't, I have to wait for my other gun to get
there. Why? Well, because I don't want to pay for two background checks.
You got to pay each time, you got to, yeah.
The next one isn't good.
The next one doesn't count for the one you just got there.
Vito.
They don't last like a month, there's a lot.
They're instantly gone.
You don't have to do them both at the same time.
So I have to go back there twice by myself,
making this huge drive to get my gun.
And then my scope, my scope doesn't arrive due to COVID,
due to fucking COVID, the scope shipping factory
isn't shipping fucking scopes, which I can't use anyway,
because I don't, I can't find a bullet to save my life.
Mm.
Well, ammunition purchases increased 140% during the first half
of 2020 compared to the
same period.
There's so, yeah, there's little stats for you then again.
It's crazy.
It was like, trying to people trying to buy like weights online.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's like $5 a pound and shit.
What the fuck?
Are you selling?
It's fucking insane.
Somebody was telling me for home defense to get to Shaka with some bird shot.
I guess this bird shot easier to get or is it all gone?
I don't know.
Just get mace.
Yeah.
Because you won't think twice about mace.
Like if you're gonna like, you had mace, you just would have maced Frank immediately with
a gun.
He's like, oh, I'm Taser.
He's a gun is legal in California.
I don't know.
Tasers?
Tasers are.
But I don't think the ones that shoot prongs might be like those are like the police ones.
Is that what you would do?
It's an idea. It's probably not what if you miss yeah, then send your fuck and you're getting raked on your
friend's guard. I'm not signing news for you. Yeah. I want one like in the side. I miss with the
Mace legitimate lightning out of it, you know,
Like off. I probably spray myself and get killed. Good spray Spray yourself on purpose just to get out of the way
and then spray fucking everything and crawl inside.
Well, like when Frank Hasel comes from me,
I'll just bend over and let him take whatever he wants.
Do you see Biden's advice?
Did you see that?
John.
A homin vision?
No, about cops.
The cops should just start shooting for the leg.
Yeah, yeah, he did something.
That's a real human being.
I said that on national television that cops should start shooting net guns. That's the leg. Yeah, yeah, he did something. That's a real human being. Yeah, I said that on national television that cops should start shooting net guns. That's the criminals.
Why don't you shoot out his tires? Yeah. Yeah, just wing him. That's his advice.
That's his advice is much president. Well, cops need to start aiming for the fucking leg,
as though they're not unloading entire clips. They need to know when to shoot and when not.
Yeah, no, I know, that's, yeah.
With a straight face.
It's with a straight face that looks like it's on the verge
of two strokes at the same time.
When you deliver the message, there's a ton of gunfights
from me to you and people miss.
And people miss.
Right.
Okay, Keral was a dark alley in the, in the dark. And they, oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the netland the dark and they're, ah shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.
Yeah, it would be cool if out of this the police start getting really weird weapons because
we don't want them killing people like I want bulls, glass, and yeah, bubblegum guns.
Yeah, blue, oh no, like the like the ghost busters not the real ghost busters just just
just just
just
just
just just
just
just
just just
just
just just
just just
just
just just
just just just
just just
just just
just just
just just
just
just just
just
just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just
just just just just just just
just just
just just just just just just
just just just just just just just just just
just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just in the, can they get one man in the audience? You just go, what the fuck?
Shut the fuck up, idiot, what are you talking about?
Did you watch those town halls?
I watched Trump's, man, you know what?
I don't watch any of that stuff.
You know, it's so boring.
No, no, no, no, Trump arguing with a woman
is just the most beautiful thing.
Oh man, he has no respect.
He doesn't even wait.
He starts talking before they're even done talking.
It's so, the amount of disrespect he has for women
is something I need to start aspiring to.
So, I thought that was bad,
but he's like, he's just scooping out their brains.
He's giving them a hysterectomy life.
Something to aspire to.
I think you can get a third pick.
I think you've got it in your heart.
If you can keep, you need to keep your Twitter
so that you can keep get like a running, you know,
you need some momentum.
I can't fucking believe Tim Heidecker.
You got a fucking, he's jealous.
He's jealous of Sam.
He's jealous of me.
I guess he got so jealous of our,
of your 17,000-year Twitter followers.
No, of our masculinity, of our masculine comedy.
He's like the Yen of comedy, Tim Hidecker, like the feminine.
He, when he does a comedy, he gives it to, he asks people what they think.
What did you guys think of the comedy I just did?
I say, fuck you, here's a comedy.
You, you do not like anything, he's, you like some of his stuff.
I, maybe, maybe, the old me. The old me.
Before I went through my second puberty at 35,
like all men do,
now he's the ultimate cook.
I wouldn't even call him a cook.
Oh, he's worse than a cook.
He has no manly qualities at all,
especially as a comedian, especially as a comedian.
That's when you need your manly qualities the most.
Really?
That's why he's so jealous of me and Sam Hyde,
because he recognizes, first of all,
our musculature, the size of us, our shoulders,
our breeding shoulders, as we like to Sam
and I like to call them.
And he has, that is that a brilliant thing?
Breeding shoulders?
Yeah, just not really a thing.
I see the bre-
That's a thing.
You ask a bitch, if a motherfucker has breeding shoulders,
she will let you know.
That's breeding shoulders. She will light up like a fucking Christmas tree.
I like this.
We're doing Rugged H Tampa.
So it's happening.
It's happening.
Okay.
When?
December 12th.
Are you going?
I can't go.
You can't go.
No.
We'll get a look alike for you.
Oh, you should definitely do.
Everybody else's coming.
Every motherfucker that in the world is coming.
Your Vito, are you coming?
I will, I will try.
You're most likely.
Okay, I haven't signed the contract.
As soon as I sign the contract, I'll probably sign it tomorrow.
I'll get the tickets up tomorrow.
Oh, whoa, what's this?
Who did?
What is this?
I think it is, I think it's the actual Trump sign guy.
Let me, I'm gonna tell him to wait a minute.
Yeah, I haven't, I haven't wait.
Did you get the wrong Trump sign guy?
You weren't here last week, huh?
Oh yeah.
It's got the fake one.
Yeah.
Aw, no good.
As soon as I sign the contract, I'll put the tickets up,
but it's huge.
I mean, it's huge.
The merch is gonna be there.
I think both of them are gonna be there. I mean, it's huge. Revenge, a merge is going to be there. I think both of the got both of them are going to be there. Ryan Long is going to be there. Ralph's going to be there.
Nick's, I think Nick Rikade is going to come. We're trying to come. Carl from who these podcasts
are going to come. Oh, God. You should just lie. I know. I know. She say it's a body, a doppelganger,
a doppelblacker. We'll get you a black oganger. Oh boy. Is it like a quarantine thing that they don't let you
with state?
Yeah, it's a couple of reasons.
Tell them you're grandma dad, man.
Yeah, they know I don't live in Florida.
Well, yeah, but have a grandparent in Florida.
Your grandpa?
It's a couple of sputes.
Yeah, professional and other too, but
professional reasons.
Professional.
Well, as a very unprofessional person,
I have no idea what you're dealing with
right now. I do whatever I want. December 12th. Let's see. Open it back up. We're blowing
it back open. You'll don't curse it because for all you know, they're going to shut everything
down again. No, they're not. I don't know. Aren't the cases spiking or something? That is
such. I'm so not required to say the case spiking shit. Everyone's fine. That is such. I'm so no one tired of saying the case.
Spiking shit.
Everyone's fine.
Everyone's fine.
Spiking.
Everyone's fine.
Shut it all down.
We're not unless there are corpses in wheelbarrow.
We're not shutting shit down ever again.
Florida, you have the best chance of it happening.
I think I'll keep of it.
Of it staying up.
I think you're goddamn right, we do.
There's still gonna be counting election, by the way,
how confident are we in the mail-in ballots?
I saw a breaking this morning, I saw that 4chan hacked
into some voting website and started invalidating,
they could invalidate and chain the ballots.
I don't know if that's just great.
I would still read many ballots on the camera
because you know, I'm team budden.
Are you really riding with Biden?
I wanna see. really riding with Biden? I want to see.
Yeah.
You want to see Biden?
I think it's the right place to go.
I know that's not popular opinion.
Well, I mean only for half the country.
Yeah.
It's not in LA for sure.
Yeah, hey, I fit it into my home.
Was that the guy?
What was your favorite part of?
Yeah, yeah, he's going to call in it.
What's my favorite part of Biden's platform? Yeah. Is it call in it. What's my favorite part about a Biden's platform?
Yeah, is it that he might pack the quarter?
He might not or that he supports
premium energy.
He doesn't support it.
He's the tax stuff.
I'm a big on the economy.
Tax stuff.
He's gonna tax you motherfucker.
He's not, he's not, he's taxing about,
it's all above 400,000.
All the taxes.
In pesos?
No, he's coming for you.
All of you.
Believe me, his coming for you.
Okay, they're always coming for you. So no, maybe I'm getting that. He's coming for you. Okay. They're always coming for you. Maybe I'm getting
I mean everybody makes that argument. They're like well, you have to go by what they're not saying
I'm like well, then I can't vote for anybody. Okay. I gotta go with what the guys are saying
It's the tax stuff. You just want to stick it to people yes people who are making over 400,000
Yes, I'm gonna be head your ass
What did we what did they have no more for I'm making over 400,000. Yes. I'm gonna be head your ass. Sorry. Mother fucker. Sorry.
What did they have in a big, more than 400,000?
Well, try.
And see what it feels like.
What did they have in due to you?
They have a billionaires.
Let's start.
Let's tax China.
Okay.
I'm down with that as well.
I saw a, I really hate MIT.
I wrote something down that they said.
They said, oh yeah, MIT technology. I don't know why I follow hate MIT. I wrote something down that they said. They said, oh yeah, MIT technology.
I don't know why I follow this account.
Because I wanted to mix things up and get some sophisticated science in my life on Twitter
instead of just horse shit.
I saw they posted one.
They posted something the other day that was, this was the article.
If you want climate progress, China's clean energy market.
China's clean energy market. China's clean energy market.
That sounds a-
That sounds odd, doesn't it?
And then nearly two decades it took to build means any country that hopes to rapidly shift
away from fossil fuels.
So they're basically signaling if Biden gets elected, right?
Because it's all going to be about clean energy, new energy.
Well, we'll need find a ways to collaborate and trade with China.
China, which is so polluted that they can't even use
their solar panels because there's so much fucking pollution.
It's like 13th, they're down like 20% capacity
or something because of the fucking pollution in the air.
They make shit and just dump all the chemicals
into the fucking ocean.
It's like how, yeah, Russia, you know, how they have,
they're shit like you, lakes, you can't go to,
things that are most polluted. I mean, I think Russia still has like the most polluted spot on the earth
Yeah, I mean forget about Chernobyl, but other places Japan's finally gonna start dumping all the radioactive waste water back into the ocean Fukushima
Good
They're like yeah, well just it's good enough fine. Probably is fine. Yeah, they got scientists
Yeah, well, it's good enough. It's fine, probably is fine.
Yeah, they got scientists.
Oh, man, I don't ever want to hear anything
from scientists ever again.
Oh, no.
After what?
After COVID, never again.
We need to start calling them something different.
We're gonna start calling scientists something up.
So I don't have to listen.
Just listen to the scientists.
Like, all right, well, you and I clearly have different
definitions of what a fucking scientist is.
So let's just go with yours.
And the guy guys actually doing research
who would never confidently say anything about it,
we can need to come up with a new name for those guys.
The motherfuckers.
Science, pretty good.
I'm a fan of science.
I'm looking for this article I wanted to bring in.
The scientists keep me apprised
when the spikes are happening.
Do they?
Is that what the scientists are happening. Do they?
Is that with a scientist are doing they wake up every morning. I can't wait to keep Vito updated Yeah, what's going on? I like an a veto scientist.net. Hey Vito
There's a spike are coming
Uh, I don't fucking know. Are you worried about the spike?
I don't even, even being an overweight dump,
I think if I got COVID, I'd probably be okay.
Well, I don't have any, I don't have any fun.
I don't have any fun existing, anything.
Most likely you would be.
Yeah.
Do you see the 17 year old kid who died?
And it's like,
it's not Russian influencer who was just the fitness guy
who just died too.
I was like, it's not a thing.
And then it's like,
Guys, people that, oh, I really hate that.
When people like, look, it's, it's not that bad and they died and was like, you see that? What a maybe it, like, it's not a thing. And then it's like, I really hate that. I know, when people like, look, it's not that bad and they died.
And I was like, you see that?
What an idiot.
What do you mean what an idiot?
No, what an idiot.
But like, it's, I mean,
you're an idiot.
You're an idiot if you don't think it's a real thing.
I mean, I'm confident in saying you're a fucking idiot
if you don't think it's real.
And we know we had a lot of fucking idiots out there.
If you're, if you're not real,
it's our hopes.
With all your elderly relatives and they die,
then yeah, you're an idiot.
Why?
Because just leave grandma and grandpa in their house.
Like, do they not know how to go,
do they not know how to just do their own shit,
grandma and grandpa?
Okay, but if you invite them over
and they're sad and old,
you're tempting them with human interaction.
Yeah.
You're gonna get them killed.
Um, okay, here it is.
Oh yeah, person, you have a party who cares, You're gonna get him killed. Um, okay, here it is.
Yeah, the person you have a party who cares,
you're gonna be fine.
Cougars dropped as a mascot from Syracuse.
I think this was pretty, uh,
Whoa.
Funny.
Cougars.
Yeah.
Why was some old lady brigade on that?
I mean, exactly, Sean.
I'm like, right?
Yeah, because they thought it would be offensive to women.
And I just wanna know, has anybody-
But it's the thing out there drinking fucking white zinfindale and fucking hitting on the might
offend women on the football players women
call themselves that no one has ever called
a woman a cougar no one no one ever none of us
have had none of no man has ever done that
they all decided to call themselves that
uh... because pre-minopausal was not uh...
palatable to them
corner is some stupid school all-around women of a certain age pre-minopausal was not palatable to them. Corner is some stupid school.
All dropped to a girl.
Women of a certain age, premenopausal.
Yeah.
Isn't an 18 year old premenopausal?
Yes.
Dropped it because of all pre-diabetic.
So did they go on all eventually get diabetes?
No, but I mean, you can stop it in that stage, you know?
If you kill yourself, you mean?
No, I mean, if you, you know, you manage your,
your what you take in, all that kind of stuff,
but I mean, I'm at risk.
All women are not at risk.
What we're gonna say, you know?
Oh, no, I was just wondering if they,
it says they voted on it and then they threw out the vote.
Is that what happened?
They voted and then threw out the vote.
The first Utah charger was named the mascot.
But it wasn't the most popular. It did not get the most votes,
but they rejected it from the,
is this a high school or something?
I think so, yeah.
They probably just wanted the kids
making stupid jokes all the time.
Cougars, yeah, whatever.
You can't just can't have any jokes at all.
What was your high school football team named?
The pedophiles.
Oh, yeah. So you want to see high school. I know that The pedophiles. Oh, yeah.
So you want to see high school?
I know, that's the common name among them.
Well, it really freaks people out.
Yeah, they didn't want to touch you.
What did you take the stage and the mascot comes out
and just a tall, weird, white guy?
Well, you don't know.
No, no, it was the mascot.
It was the principal.
And guys that would go up and you didn't know.
It was really...
Ten of them, right?
Guess what the mascot would go up. I didn't know. It was really, 10 on the red guess count,
which guy is the guy?
I love him.
Oh, you know what I'm saying?
See, this is what we're saying everybody.
The real high brow high school.
Right, very cerebral.
See, do I have anything?
I'll just read some comments.
And then we got the actual Trump's,
Trump's sign guy calling in.
Does he have plans for another one?
Did he do another one yet?
I don't know.
I'm gonna ask him.
He's still riding high on the first one.
You gotta ask him.
Oh, sexual preference.
That happened.
God.
That pissed me off so much, dude.
Didn't somebody get called out for saying sexual preference?
Is it such an outdated term of like last year or something?
What do you, what the fuck, do you say then?
Like this is, the world is now,
the sexual preference does not,
that's not a judgmental thing to me.
No, it isn't.
I mean, it's, I guess it could be.
Well, because you're not getting your preference.
This is now, have you ever seen somebody
so much of their own shit into just these
innocuous statements?
Like, it's just like, oh my God, that's, well, they mean this and this and it's like reading
so much shit into things that are in.
I know.
I've never got set.
It's crazy, man.
You got to talk about where it was set.
Go ahead.
Well, it was the, I don't know.
Is that girl who's running for, not running, but Supreme Court nominee Amy something very
CB.
Yeah.
And at some point, no, Tori, SACB, everyone, say CB.
And she was just talking about, you know, different Americans, depending on their sexual
preference.
And then some Asian Senator Lady Marie is like, I'm sorry, you won't.
Did you say sexual preference, which would assume that orientation is something where you can,
you know, change it out to what you prefer.
Yeah.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
And then all these, all these like news places, I mean, you could be gay, right?
Right.
Isn't that how prison, like, I mean, to be fair, yeah, I think that you can go gay.
And I think that that's a totally reasonable thing that happens to people.
If you got sent to prison, you'd be like, yeah, fuck, that fucking guy, whatever and I think that's a totally reasonable thing that happens to people.
If you got sent to President Billionaire, fuck, that fucking guy, whatever, I got nothing
better anyway.
Anyway, what did, yeah, then what happened?
What happened was a bunch of news sites, you know, a lot of like, even like mainstream
news sites where like, we can't believe Amy Barrett used this extremely big, indeterm,
and I'm sure I'd prefer in, so I know.
And that's not the thing to focus on.
No, no.
What's the alternative? Who you stick your dick in? to focus on. What's the alternative?
Who you stick your dick in?
Oh, no.
What is the alternative to that?
Oh, yeah.
What is your, it's all I'm watching.
Have you ever watched somebody try to identify a black person, like even just as like,
oh, I'm here with my friend, I'm here with my friend, Dorel.
Like, oh, which one is he?
Oh, he's that tall one.
Yeah, he's the tall one.
I just don't do that.
Has he ever seen that though?
Have you seen, like, oh, is he the,
I mean, kind of,
he was the guy who,
not only the dark blue,
kind of the more light blue sweater.
He's wearing that pink shirt.
Yeah, he's trying to, right. Ah.
Ah.
So now, if you're trying to ask if somebody's gay,
you're gonna, people are gonna have to do the same thing.
Like, what's your, ah, ah, ah, like,
when you kinda, ah, are you capable of being friends
with women?
Like, what is your?
Right, are you like, you know, you know,
like you're that?
Like, you're like, you, you, you.
How much prep do you need to put into your sex?
I don't know.
Do you know how an animal works?
Mm.
Okay.
Is that part of it?
Well, how else are you gonna say it?
How do you say it?
How do you say it?
I don't know how an animal works.
It's not in that row, damn. Well, how else are you gonna say it? How do you say it? How do you say it? No, how inedible works. Yeah.
No, no, down. Either way.
I was gonna say, but then the funniest part of the whole thing is they're like,
Joe Biden said sexual preference like three months ago. Like, what's her name?
Like, that's cutting edge for these people. Like, that you can't expect them to keep up.
No. With a fucking with with 23 year old's Twitter timeline.
This is then the dictionary changed it to offensive.
Right.
The same day.
The same day.
The dictionary.
The cornerstone of the reference section of absolute truth and fact.
They got some scientists to go.
We're Alexa, Alexa list to go in and change it to offensive.
See usage paragraph below.
There were people on shirt as a lot.
All sorts of examples because what's the one that the Supreme Court just yeah,
Ruth Bader, Gonsberg, it was big.
Gonsberg said it like two years ago in a speech or whatever.
And then even like the advocate, which is like a gay magazine, they're like, we can't
believe she would say sexual preference.
And they're like, dude, a month ago you ran a interview.
They said that magazine was pissed.
In interview, they're like, you ran an interview like a month ago where like a gay icon,
whoever was some gay director was like, I'm so glad we can celebrate people regardless
of sexual preference.
It's like, you didn't call him out when he fucking said it.
It's perfectly fine until it's not a wrong person uses it.
And then it's a whatever you want to lighten your eyes.
Motherfucker.
Motherfucker.
Motherfucker.
It is implied suggestion that a person can choose
who they are sexually or romantically attracted to.
Which isn't even true.
Like you can have a preference that you don't change.
You can say I prefer steak and I don't eat anything else or whatever.
It doesn't mean that it's made the nature of preference was that it was just that way.
Yeah.
I mean, if someone put a gun to your head and said suck a cock, you'd probably be like,
yeah, okay.
If it's big enough, it's not my preference, but sure.
You know, uh, very odd.
Very odd thing that very odd way to go.
It's inferior eating honestly, But I don't like language.
I don't like this way there.
This is retconning language, being like,
oh, that was always offensive.
You know, we've always known,
this is like a horrible thing that no one would ever say.
And you're like,
motherfucker, we were saying it up until yesterday.
And then suddenly you just decided out of no way.
And then you wanna penalize people,
right, using today's rules for stuff
that was perfectly okay. And you just want a really shitty gotcha for this stupid where
everybody knows what this woman was saying. She wasn't saying, oh, by the way, gay people
choose to be gay. That's not what the point of what she was saying is. It was infuriating.
I was very mad.
What a gay, like at one point, weren't they, didn't they want that? Like, we just want
to be able to choose to have sex with guys.
You are such a fucking big idiot, you know.
Shut it down.
I'll put you in the dictionary.
Here.
Keep me out of it.
Here's something.
We're calling up websters.
Here's something fun.
General Keith Alexander is now on the board of directors at Amazon.
General Keith Alexander would be the guy who created prism the nationwide illegal
style spying program lines all of your data.
She's awesome.
I was on the board of board of directors in Amazon.
It's never like a better idea just to literally just move out to a one room cabin in the
woods.
No, no, they'll get you.
You can't get away from this shit.
I think that's why part of why the cutie thing made me so angry.
Because he was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was like, oh, I was like, man, like there's like, just a board of like shadow crafts
and overlords and mining everything about you
and manipulating your brain into buying and saying dumb things.
No, they're trying to trick you
into watching your friend's hardhouse film.
That's the ultimate goal.
You guys can't even protect yourselves.
You're not protecting any kids.
You can't even keep yourselves safe. Y not protecting any kids. You can't even keep yourselves safe.
Oh, yeah.
Yikes.
Former director of the NSA, huh?
Yeah, well, you know, Amazon's got to get that big Pentagon
contract to take over Bitcoin now that we're entering phase five.
So good luck.
That'll be fun.
Yeah, there's a lot going on.
There is.
Two 30s going to, I got a dog with no eyes too.
Hmm.
What?
Before we get to the,
really, dog with no eyes.
Yeah, it really annoyed me.
Seeing this dog with no eye, you know, I hate seeing
named animals.
I hate that.
I hate it.
Yeah.
So, I don't, I don't, is this going to be depressing?
Look, there's a dog with no eyes looking like a
pan's labyrinth like monster.
Yeah, no eyes, no eyes just like holes where the sockets are and like dents in them.
They are.
They this bear he was adopted and he loves strawberries.
And then there's like, there's like thousands of comments about how he looks great and how
he's a good boy and all this shit.
I'm wondering, well, who the fuck are these comments for?
Like the dog, a dog can't conceive of compliments.
Gross, man.
Who, come on.
You can only conceive of that.
What's the compulsion to text somebody about talking
into the dog, talking to them?
To each other as a communal way out.
What?
About that life is the blind.
There's nothing even if fucking you're a,
but it's not.
It's not.
I think that dog is probably pretty happy only if there's strawberries.
If there are no strawberries, then the dog will try to kill himself.
I don't want to hear that life isn't worth living from the blind dog.
He is beautiful indeed.
Like, who's the, who's the, who's that compliment going to?
Always beautiful indeed.
This crush here on the hero adopted him.
God dammit.
What a cute little fruit bat.
Oh God.
Fuck you.
He's fucking crazy.
He looks perfectly splendid.
No, he looks like a monster.
Fruit bat.
He's like a meat fighter.
He's horrifying.
He's horrifying.
He's horrifying.
That's horrible.
It looks horrifying.
Just let him live his money.
Get him out of here.
Put him in the basement.
Yeah, what are you gonna do when you're
googly eyes or something on him?
What are you gonna do when you're
to hamster, buddy?
That's funny.
That's it.
Can't help. Can't help. Yeah, I got a butt out here that says, don't press with a sticky something on it. One of you when you're to hamster, buddy, one of his eyes. That's it. Catapult.
Yeah, I got a bird out here that says,
don't press with a sticky note on it.
Consuelo, except we had to change Wana now.
Do not know, press O.
The button.
Go ahead there ask what happened to Consuelo.
She got sick.
Yeah.
It's more depressing.
I bet I guarantee you if I posted about Consuelo on Reddit,
I would get two upboats.
That's it.
But this dead eye dog, there's no eye dog has 10,000 people talking about what a beautiful
boy he is.
Yeah, it's real awful.
It is awful.
It's sick.
It is awful and sick.
I hate it.
It's people coming together.
A woman over, over, over sick. I hate it. It's people coming together a woman over so over over misery
Inspiration is there's nothing is what's inspirational about that?
That's inspired is probably a happy boy
Have a dog in the Westinghouse syndrome. That's why
Who is this inspiring till somebody gonna get their eyes scooped out? You never know you could go blind look
But he have a strawberry.
Things will get better.
Yeah.
Hey, meanwhile a woman posts, a woman posts that she's lost weight, killer, hanger, hanger.
That's the response.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've got a lot of shit.
I've got a lot of shit.
Yeah.
One woman looks attractive.
That's true.
Making healthy choices, not eating.
Yeah.
Not eating everything.
She should have been happy with who she was.
Yeah, exactly.
Like this fucking dog.
You ever see the cats with no arms?
Cats with no arms?
Yeah.
Get fucking rid of them.
Get rid of them.
Wow.
Done.
Wow.
Cats with no arms, four legs.
Cute.
He runs around like a little vassarib.
Oh, did you like on the sign legs?
Yeah, you can see like sick freak show that these
people are engaged in sick freak show. They say, oh, beautiful. But you're really thinking,
gosh, show me more freaks. Show me more fun. Oh, it's like it's all widely found.
Getting off of here. They're walking down target. They're hiding. They're hiding in the
home section of target, finger blasting themselves, looking at eyeless dogs trying to find a tiny
bit of light in this dark miserable world.
Dicks here to stamp it out. No, they're not.
They're there.
They all have a sick compulsion to, to cripple things so that they can take care of them.
So they crippled the dog on purpose.
A bunch of Sonson.
Yeah, they all have munchows and cysts.
So now I am worried that there's a guy don't are out there who sees how many free internet
points you get.
And he's like, I could blind my fucking dog and get 20,000.
He probably did it.
Oh, come on.
I got this fucking thing.
Oh, man.
Sick.
Sorry, buddy.
We didn't even see it coming.
What, Doug?
Good luck to you, bear.
Who is that compliment directed to?
To the dog.
To the dog.
The dog doesn't understand.
I'm sending him a cosmic goodbye.
He's called Carmode Dick.
He knows you psych a path.
In between licking his asshole
and sniffing it out for strawberries,
he heard it, he got it.
It's just the endless comp,
oh he's so beautiful.
Like who's that for?
Just for everybody, man.
For themselves.
When somebody pets a dog and says,
you're a good dog,
the dog doesn't know what they're saying.
It's just for your nuts.
They piss all over themselves.
Yeah, you don't have dogs, are you?
No, I don't have dogs.
I'm not a dog, gay.
They're like women.
Well, they're just too neat.
You're in continents.
They are very neat.
All right, let's try to get this guy.
Let's try to get the truck down.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Finally, after last week's horrible,
I almost fucked it up again.
Blondon.
Well, action.
You and I, you and I, Sean, two weeks.
So get ready for that.
One of these days, Sean.
I can't believe that the plugins don't still come with this.
What you were sitting there looking at it last week.
Yeah, but I figured out at home what I wanted to use.
I go, oh, this is great.
It's come ever.
These plugins have come with Pro Tools since version a
Never it is so many thing now. I assume anything
You know that you know that computers cursed. You know my house is cars. I know you know I am cursed
You know everything in my life is cursed
Assume that it's gonna be gonna be cursed. Yeah, you're dealing with a curse super natural
There was no room for reason or logic fucking cars welcome to the show the dread patriot Roberts you
serve you are the man who erected the I don't know how tall it was the giant
it felt like it was about two thousand feet tall the Trump sign in the style
of everybody got it wrong everybody got it, oh, it's 10 feet on. I guess in like in Normieville, 10 feet is pretty high. Yeah, but that was there were two things that this
me off about the reporting. One was that they said it was 10 feet high. It was 20 feet high. Okay. And it took us quite a bit of engineering to see around how to get it to stand up and be that all because the whole thing was made out of ten polls and then very easily
uh... if there's any kind of when
uh...
it was okay so it was twenty feet all it was made out of ten polls was there
did you guys have to uh... hide
to put to put up that trump sign when you did it was it uh... i mean i don't
even know it was i'm looking at the property was done
and it was really
it was private property we had scouted it.
I've been planning this thing for about two years.
When that phone, that whole area,
it turned like two years ago,
and if there was this great famous video of somebody
that like 40M driving over the simple bit of pass,
went with on fire,
and it was amazing.
It was amazing because guys just driving through so the fire yeah
well the team it's the change the signs and welcome to 2018 yeah because things are so bad back then
right and uh so that all burned and I'm driving through it after a burn and just thinking no
if you just read or you're always looking for a new canvas and driving through it was like oh my
god look at this it's just it's empty beautiful beautiful space. So I started planning it then. We were going to try and do it in 2018
for the election. It didn't really happen, but this time it really needed to happen. And we pulled
it off. It's hilarious. For those people who don't, for people who aren't in LA, most of the audience, that freeway
is a complete disaster every day.
It's the worst one.
That freeway gets one of the most trumpet freeways in the world, the 405, the context
is curable.
When they were going to do the construction, they called it Carma Geddon.
Yeah.
That's the...
That was the main big part of it you know that's kind of the sign itself with
Westwood and like Santa Monica there and I was really
Supported it was just like this huge
Trump
Blooming over the belly of the bees really like like everyone there
Of course to hate Trump. Yeah, that purports to hate Trump.
That is the center of Trump hate universe right there.
And so it was important.
There's a lot of places we could have done this in LA
that would have been way easier to.
There's like, if you get East of the Five, North of the 101,
the South of the Ten even, like that,
those bounding lines are contained all of the the nexus of club eight in the universe. So you get outside of there. There's big
Trump signs all over. We saw some people hang one from a cliff out in Canyon Country,
a couple weeks ago or like a month ago. I think that's cool. That's really great.
But I think to take it to the whole, you know, in West LA where it's just to make people's heads explode was really important.
That's where we've counted that for a while. And it was tricky to get to. And I was amazed
that the county workers showed up and were down there. I mean, they sent up a group of guys. It's
not an easy spot to get to and they took that thing down in hours, you know. Yeah. So how did you, how
did you plan it? How do you plan something like that?
Yeah, a little bit here in there. Lots of, lots of, you know, phone calls with my guys.
And you wanted a lot of schematics, probably. Weematics, we never constructed the whole thing. We basically
did two years ago. I did a test letter with my wife and then we did another test letter
earlier this year and another test letter a couple weeks ago. just to, you know, it's a, like, it kind of just happened as we went
along. Like, we did the test letters, the test letters worked pretty well. We added things
to each time. The final letters we did were really, you know, a pretty original design,
though, from the other letters. And, you know, we were as we were out there, I'm looking
at my watch, and it, you know, hours are are taken by and we're like, well, we did
this step, that work, we did this step, that work, we just picked it, you know, definitely
one foot and one the other. And the we, I brought out parishes. If you look at some of
the video, there's a video they got put out on culture, it's out there. The one with
blinded about the trees playing. We had parachutes that are freeing
and purging to cut the cargo letters.
Because when you're tilting them up,
there's a full moon, almost a full moon,
and something glowed, and I didn't know
there's no white bomb them.
You can be up from the freeway.
But we didn't find never,
because we never experimented with the air.
With the paris works for the whole big cell-off,
almost immediately.
We didn't take them up there., with the paris works. For the all-ake fell off almost immediately. We just, we just, we just picked them up there.
We put the key up first.
It fell off.
We brought the key back down.
We, we taped it.
We, we taped all of them, put it back up.
And it just kept falling off.
We're just like, screw it.
We gotta go.
We just gotta go.
And then we were putting these letters up.
And there's a house within you.
We had a bit of a heart attack.
Did you get to see what looked like somebody moving
in these lit up windows,
you're like, you're on the M and we're like, oh man,
they can see us.
You know, they're like half a mile away.
And we're like, they can see us and I go guys.
If they send a police helicopter,
I don't care if they send the police helicopter.
This thing is going up.
We have to finish it.
That was the key of the whole thing.
It happened.
That was a pressure. Because the whole thing had to go up. If one to finish it. That was the key of the whole thing. That was the pressure.
But the whole thing had to go up. If one of those letters didn't go up, it would be so embarrassing.
If it were to go up, it would have been sad.
If it were to go up, it would have been sad.
It would have been horrible. It would have been horrible.
That would have been horrible.
Because he has a big fat ass. Trump does. He's always sticking out.
Yeah, he would have gone like, they ramped up.
Right, he's been ramping. He would have been like, he would have left it up.
You know what I think I said, ramped. It would have stayed up for three days. like right like
it would
be
the new Hollywood
sign
and
like
we should
put up a
bite and
win just as an experiment probably and it will probably be up in for another month, you know. And the buying campaign would probably pay you have to do it, still.
It's crazy how there's no Trump.
So like I'm afraid to put a Trump sign in front of my house,
because I don't want my house fucked with.
Like there's all kinds of like creatures that like sort through your,
your trash every night for cans to recycle and you get dialysis.
I don't know what they're going to do with it.
You get that up here? Yeah.
Oh no, shit.
Oh man, I'm sorry.
I think it's a bad thing.
It's a bad thing.
I actually, yeah.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
I was going to get a fact in front of one of those guys the last week.
I was like, man, like I went out and think of trash.
Here's this guy with a head landing on.
This Mexican guy going through my trash.
Yeah.
And I said, you can cut shut the lid, get back into car, and get the the door through my trash. You know, when I said, it cuts up the lid,
get back into the car and get the F off of my street.
You know, what you gotta leave and don't ever come back to.
I'm sure he will come again.
There's a thousand of them.
It's like there's a stavanger class in LA.
It's like the scene in the way
you're in a place in this car apart.
Well, it's sitting in the park.
It's crazy.
And I want to feel bad for them,
but one of them is responsible for my girlfriend's
car getting stolen.
Because she threw her keys away.
I have that on video,
her throwing her keys in the garbage.
I mean, where's the responsibility?
We have this whole job.
Each of the
the
and the
twelve
right
the
parachute
and
truck
on my street
and
the I don't really have any more of the bill. These things was kind of using the Q truck that I rented as sort of a headquarters.
Okay.
Came out one morning, the passenger side lock had been popped out and the whole steering
column broke and off.
They tried to steal the thing.
And I was like, that would have been the end of it.
And so, you know, got any truck, shifted everything over the next like like yeah like cars you know if you go next door dot com for people
getting robbed for their phones and gunpoint in my neighborhood daily dude we uh...
unbelievable i installed a citizen app just because it's like funny to see the
cons this is app that does it does police it does a police scanner so reports
crimes and then people can tag the crimes
that they're filming on it.
It's like judge dread the whole shot.
Like it will, and sometimes it'll be like car crash
and you click on it and it will have somebody's
fucking video of the car crash.
So you're addicted to this.
Yeah, but then every once in a while
we'll pop up like home invasion to blocks over
and I'm like, whoa, what the fuck?
Oh man.
Wow.
It's like a live world, car hip hop.
Yeah, it is live world star hip hop.
We're looking at the sign right now.
It looks fucking great.
You think it would look kind of crappy because you put it up in the middle of the night,
but it really does.
That looks really fucking clean, doesn't it?
You know, what do you think?
You're liberal.
Yeah, no, no, it's a good, what do you think? You're liberal.
No, it's a good job.
It's a good job. It's a good job.
And just to nice and straight, it's fun looking just mix any of the letters.
Just to hear the conversations in cars or the thoughts and people's heads as they
drove by no matter who, whether you support them or not, just to kind of,
it was like, it's like a great like art experiment on human emotion exactly what we meant it to be really like I'm a Trump fan I'm not like a I'm not
like a you know I'm not a cold-ish Trump fan I love I love what he's doing I wish
he would do a lot more. But it really was.
It wouldn't matter if it was, you know,
if DuCockus was doing the same thing
or if it was DuCockus,
that that would have been a few more letters,
but like, it really was just a kind of a,
kind of a psychology experiment, you know.
I get that.
Okay, so we, I know you didn't want it to look like
the Memorial God Hospital where you run,
was running out of room. That is always my primary concern when i'm making big letters on a poster anything is room
what letter did you start with to make sure that didn't happen where you had to you know where you had to squeeze the p is
we had no use out of the area before and we went out three nights before and set up the whole thing with wooden receivers
that we used as a foundation we put in with the Meebar State.
So each letter had two wooden foundation pieces that it fit into.
And we had the whole thing mapped out on a string across the bottom.
So everything lined up perfectly.
The main thing was that they had to be level
because if they were skewed, you know, like some like all those teeth, they would also look
like crap. We took our time that night, you know, it's probably three hours to get those things
perfectly level. So that when we showed up three days later, they were just ready to, we built the frames,
put the parts across the frames and then put it up.
So now I just wanna put a giant queue up
and see what happens.
Look for Q and I, God.
You can make a really big queue on that.
Keep it.
I think some people would be really upset about that.
You know, that's stupid town hall.
I don't even know how you're supposed to answer that question.
What do you say your question?
What do you think about QAnon, the group on the internet
that says all Democrats are pedophiles?
And Trump said, I disavow pedophiles.
I don't know.
What are you trying to say about that?
Um, you know, I'm looking through this thing.
You got any more pieces planned?
You know, there might not be a lot of time left.
I'm so looking at that.
No, you know, this one, this one, this, you know, like every bank robber movie, like I've
done a lot of street art stuff, basically anything that's not, uh, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I've heard of them. What do you guys do that you're not getting critical? Oh, I'm going to hold off saying because I'm still trying to keep my identity
totally out in their ways that you could identify any proof. There's some big stuff that
may remove or before dredge, flip.
And when you know, woke, that was our, that was our, that was fine, and accomplishment to
make the drug report.
And I, I probably have 10 drugs hits, you know, leading up to two years ago.
So, lots of street art.
And this one, honestly, like, my feelings, I don't know what people think of.
You know, a lot of comments are like, with a stupid thing for the campaign to waste her
money on it
uh... i wish i wish the campaign was paying us for this
is literally just like i felt
you know i thought it was a cool idea
it was uh... it was something i was compelled to do and i did and it wasn't
cheap
you know uh... and i was well i'd love it would be great for that to be reality you cheap, you know, and I was like, you know, I'd love, I'd love,
it would be great for that to be reality, you know, but, no.
Why don't they?
Why don't they fund anything cool?
Like I swear to God, I get hit every day.
I'm on both lists.
I thought it'd be interesting to be on both fun lists.
You sure?
Sure.
And it just makes you hang your head and vomit.
It's so fucking crazy how they treat their constituents.
Like the last, yeah, because like this,
this like abusive partner relay, like we're done.
That's it.
Oh, we're already dead.
I'm gonna kill myself.
Like literally the subject might as I'm going to kill myself
unless you give me $10.
Yeah.
Wasn't that an email recently?
Yes.
Yeah.
It's like we're dead or dead.
I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die.
And then you check the email that's like,
the Trump ones are like, we've only got eight seconds,
there's only eight seconds left for you
to be on Trump's Christmas list.
If you act now, he will send you this puzzle.
He'll think about you for 12 seconds.
And I think that works on people who are older than 65,
you know, I think that does actually work on them, but
yeah, again, the street art is important because, you know, means stuff on the internet can get throttled, you know, we're all out here on these, you know, on
B-live or whatever, like the conservative voices are completely throttled, so street you can you can force people to look at something you know
like they can't turn it off and not with you know
putting up posters or putting up a sign like this
it's important you can force people to do it
i'm not sure if i'm going to be doing it anymore just because again
yeah there's no funding for it
nobody's nobody's getting rich off of it. You know, uh, I know that the, uh, say, both, say, both cells is prints afterwards.
He funds it all after the fact. Yeah. And, uh, you know, it's like, you know,
my, and my wife is like, no more. You know, like, no more. She sees that she
sees me looking for two years. We would drive that route. And she would
be me looking up at the spot and just be like, worldwide. You know, I mean, she's supportive, but she was like, I put this like,
unless we're getting paid, what we should get paid, and that should have been
worth, you know, $10,000 a dollar. But, you know, no, no.
So, and let's get paid, you're not doing it anymore.
Why the fuck?
Mark, you're getting paid. Remember that when adults swim, did the moon
and nights, like thing, and everyone thought it was a bomb threat.
Those guys got like,
those guys did a couple grand for that.
They got like 50 grand for do that campaign.
I'm always like,
how come they aren't funding meme warfare?
Because the left does?
Are they?
Who have they?
But everyone will do it for free.
You know, we actually,
I used to get paid for some of these campaigns.
Yeah.
And then once Trump got one struck up the nomination though
all that money dried up because
why pay for something that people are going to do for free
we were having so much fun being russian you know russian
uh...
hot yeah
yeah we were having so much fun doing it that everyone was doing a
free
and again like a person like myself but you know i felt compelled to do this thing and it's hard to ask for money from somebody
Who knows that you're going to do it anyway?
You know, they're just like, yeah, we'll throw in a couple bucks, you know
I need a lawyer you major to be honest like you shouldn't have to be doing these negotiations
Accept all the managers are for the left. All the entertainment managers are there.
Yeah, well, and the lawyers.
If you, anytime we, you know, I'm not sure who we did jobs for because they're always
middlemen and they took out, we're going to run it through, we're going to run it by
legal and it's like, well, this job is over by the lawyers.
Nobody's the working for a job.
They will stop.
They will stop.
This job is over.
Yeah.
That is the last, that's the last thing you'll ever hear on a project.
We're just going to run it by legal real quick.
I don't know.
I'll never mind.
I'll date you later.
What kind of trouble could you have gotten into for this Trump sign?
Do you know?
Trust me.
I lost a lot of sleep about it.
I don't know.
I mean, it's private property.
It interestingly enough, a private property belongs to the AuditCon Foundation, that's a Pakistani charity.
Right, weird, right?
And they own the piece of land.
It's beautiful, but useless.
And that piece of land is hovering over the Leo Beck temple.
The economy's a big, always C-toid,
C-Jewish temple in West LA.
And it's like, it was weird.
I figured I'd who owned it.
So I mean, dress pasting, I can be holding
all the dresses here.
I've had guys put up posters for friends,
putting up posters before, in contested terror,
turning this in Virginia, the cops caught them.
They went back to struck, look in signs that each of these posters represents a thousand dollars of cleanup.
This over ten thousand dollars. That's a felony. You got a felony. Oh god.
And so I figured it's something this big. Maybe an alacos, they all this cost us a million dollars to clean up. Like, you're gonna pay for that or you're gonna go to jail or you're gonna get a felony.
We're gonna call in a helicopter.
Make sure you guys didn't have bomb vests and that cost.
Yeah, it's $1000.
It's, it is like, it's, you look at it and you're like, well, it's just trespassing a bunch
of fucking, like those Cal Trans guys, I'm trust me, they weren't doing any work that day
anyway.
No.
I'm sure they're having the time of their fun.
They probably took it home, put it on eBay, having a good good time. But man, you're selling the original Hollywood sign letters.
Yeah, exactly.
But you come across the wrong VA and the wrong judge,
and you just fucked.
It's such a shitty part of a system.
Which is crazy because then I see other stuff.
You know what they bring in the helicopter
and whatever, and they just get a slap on the rim.
Yeah.
And what's funny is,
well, because you think they predicted that
what it was going to cause is traffic accident. I thought, well, that was also what's what's funny is what they did for big thing that was that it was gonna cause traffic accident. I thought well that was
also something I was worried about if somebody died in traffic accident that
somebody slammed on the brakes. They would definitely try to hold you
liable for that. But the real the real reason they said oh it could be a
fire hazard and I thought absolutely but not the shoes you think well it
would be because some craze left
this would like the Hillman fire.
Oh yeah, sure.
I think you could see that happening,
you know, like I can't,
they can't get to it because there's so much brush.
I can see how they just banning
trucks and just lighting the Hillman fire.
Sian, it's a fire hazard.
We're asking for it.
Yeah, yeah.
You're gonna make somebody,
cut somebody's head off with this kind of stuff. You can't be putting the stuff out there. Yeah, right drama homie. You can't put up a Trump soon
blame the victim
Well, you at least you're not they didn't catch you yet. I guess it seems like they're not seems like they're not going after
I don't think they I don't think they care. I don't think they care. I'm taking precautions. I'm not you know, I'm not taking
I'm taking precautions. I'm not, you know, I'm not taking, I'm not publicly
taking people who know me know, you know, and that's fine. And I'm, I'm, I'm a hero in
their eyes, and that's all that matter. Are you saying?
You didn't do it for the art. You did it for the adulation. I did it for the adulation.
My wife looks at me just,... uh... uh... in general
uh...
yeah i've been i've been first
it really started after and by the way you'd be surprised that i'll
buy them
again i want to your younger viewers
i'm all i should have your own around all night doing this stuff you young
guy to get out there
your main out in knees out in the world.
How do you even spiral?
Well, you got energy.
We started after Obama's second turn.
After Obama got elected the second time,
we started listening to Andrew Breitbart,
and he was like, you know, all of the sounds
you're in the culture.
And we figured, what's the quickest way
into affecting the culture
that felt organic and then we were kind of
posing as street artists at first
and then we became street artists.
Mostly posters and stuff, we do some fun.
You know, I don't want to say too much
just because there's my op-sack in the path.
It's not as good as my op-sack now and if somebody went back and looked at some of that stuff,
they'd be like, they would leave, they could leave them to me.
And I'm just again, I got a lot of stuff going on in my life.
I don't need a bunch of, you know, journal activists at my door.
No one would break away.
And know what not to say.
Yeah. Yeah.
It is, yeah, I read some article the other day
or saw some headline and it was the ADL
is working with EA games to get these two organizations
that are, I forget how they phrased it exactly,
but it was really, really far left organizations to police
video gaming, like to get in their online community.
To make sure there's no, I don't even,
representations or stereotypes or that kind of stuff.
Well, you know, you could say that, right?
They could say that, but the reality is kids, boys, young boys are totally checked out
of school.
Now, the school's all virtual, like, you go in there, you can't have,
it's no longer the case where you could just have one
woman destroying your mind.
Like they escaped, they escaped into the online world
and they can like reverse it, right?
Like you remember being a kid and thinking,
I remember being a kid sitting in class and going,
I kind of think what you're saying is bullshit
but I don't really have the ability
to connect with anybody
and talk about that,
I'm definitely not gonna bring it up at home.
I'm gonna fuck with those people.
But now that you, now that necessarily you go on games
and talk to people by the nature of the game,
it's undoing the school brainwashing.
So now they're trying to get in there
to stop that side of it too.
Well, it's just another,
we were through the 80s, right? You know what, yeah. All the censorship get in there, to stop that side of it too. Well, it's just another, we were through the 80s, right?
You know, with all the censorship going on there,
and this is like, so it's just 2.0, I think.
It's just so fucking obvious,
and they picked the most blatantly aggressive,
sensorous organizations to do it.
It's seconding to re-encontroll.
Yeah, and the 80 80 is like picking like,
oh, don't worry, we've got a couple of real assholes that we're going to put on this one.
It's fucking wild, man. It's fucking wild to know that kids are going to be up against the like,
dude, I mean, just don't, don't fucking trust anybody over 30. That's what it comes down to.
Like, just sit him down and say, don't fuck him. Everybody over 30 is lying to you.
The one thing the boomers were right about.
Yeah, yeah, they knew then.
I don't know.
Gen X is gonna be even worse too when they get older.
They're just so fucking,
they think they're so fucking funny.
Like as much as I hate boomers,
watching Gen X get old,
like watching a generation that is Saturday night.
Yeah, yeah, you. I'm on on the cusp. I'm gonna go back
I'm gonna reset every 20 years and become the next year watching a generation that is just gen SNL
turn into
Turn get old and entitled is as fucking sickening. They're gonna be way worse than boomers in my opinion. I think though
I think the upcoming generation though. I though they've clamped down to hard and you
know it's it's it's it's princessly in star work the tighter your grasp the more systems
will slip through your fingers. Yeah. The cool kids the cool the zoomers. Yeah. Are already
there they're they're they're totally outside of the system and I don't think they can be brought back
and
Those kids need to go out and do this stuff and you know I break the spell
I just feel like it's gonna be a
run across this art
And that just that enough that might be enough to break the spell because they're all they're under a spell man. I mean like sending your kids to school right now is insane.
It's insane. You know I mean again and you get the teacher that's a
female with with dye hair. You're like I know everything that you believe and
stay away, stay away from my kids. You know like it's's, you know, and I was going to say that's
the second thing that pissed me off about the coverage of this job, is that everyone
assumed it was a bunch of guys up there, do we get all the, all the, all the, all the,
that's interesting.
All the, all the comments were just a bunch of dudes did this? Win in reality it was a bunch of dudes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, there
weren't any women up there, there weren't any women up there, but we let them do it. It's
just insulting, insulting that there were no women up there. I hear what you saw. Okay, okay,
so no plans, no if Trump loses, are you? Yeah, is there going to be any. I hear what you saw. Okay. Okay, so no plans.
No, if Trump loses, are you going to be any kind of big, you're going to put a Biden
one up there, something like that?
I probably have to because the Gestapo will be coming after us.
They'll really investigate who did this, but you'll have to undo the harm we've done.
What's going on?
Trump loses.
I actually don't kind of care. you have to undo the undo the arm with done. The Trump loses.
I actually don't kind of care if I want Trump to win.
If he loses, the divorce will happen that much faster.
I think unless Trump really starts making major changes
and indicting people for treason,
this country is over anyways.
So, you know, sorry to be black old, but.
He's just one guy, like you saw what he did in four years,
just, he's not go to jail.
All right.
Oh my god.
Yeah, I mean, he's like,
I'm sweaty.
We're in trouble, either way.
You know, who does that need to indict first?
Literally everyone, just indict everyone.
Okay.
You know what, he's gonna have a day.
It's gonna be called, you're going to jail,
and if Trump sees you, you're gonna fucking jail.
Are you telling me the storm is coming?
He's gonna hunt around the White House,
like the Easter Bunny, and if he sees you,
you're going to fucking federal prison.
I would love to see him in an Easter night outfit,
like Ralphie from a Christmas story.
Yeah, it's a new tradition.
That would be the greatest photo of all time.
Trump and I have real information about ISIS.
Don't you want to know?
You're going to fucking jail, dude.
You knew that you knew the deal last night.
You should have been on Twitter.
I hope, Jeff, kids.
Watch the movie.
Watch the movie.
They just came out called the plot against the president.
OK, who made that one?
It's on Vimeo.
It's on Vimeo the bill just came out last week
that those people need to go to jail that basically list everyone need to go
to jail
uh... starting with that i'm sure
that i'm sure
i think he might be are you sure you'll read go to prison yes
yes he's good prison
she don't know about the list
who else
uh... the uh... stroke
uh...
uh... uh...
what about the obama uh... uh... yeah
for sure for sure
they knew it obviously i mean with an i didn't do it too i mean i you know
again i understand the idea of like we can indict this person
you can see that he's a guy running against the president.
You can actually like it.
I am always running.
I mean, you could, but it looks, it looks, it looks,
it would be hilarious, but it looks like he's,
I mean, that's a, that's a problem.
Well, specifically, are we certainly going to get
accused of being accused of punishing his,
his political enemies?
It's spying on Trump.
But he needs to be.
They've been spying on Trump's, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
All right, Dreadpire's rubbish. Sean, you got any questions for the Mr. Dreadpire's
garbage? You've been very generous to these. No, yes, he has. I love the sort of piece that you did.
It just, I heard about it. And then when I saw it cracked me up and I just thought of the people,
like what everybody's reaction was to seeing that. It was, it was like, God, that really had to, that really had to unseat a lot of,
a lot of emotions.
As you get some visceral reactions, which is what I like about it.
I like that it is like a little social, you know, psychological experiment.
I got that.
I want to see the, I didn't see the reactions to it.
Because to me, I would just be like, Oh, that's, that's funny, you know? Yeah. Well, I imagine other reason that we should didn't see the reactions to it because to me I would just be like oh, that's that's funny
You know, yeah, well imagine other
Yeah, people just like you can see that when people are upset they're just like jerk jerking around talking to each other like somebody in the
Pastor like just jerking around talking to each other like somebody in the pastor, just stimulating wildly.
Someone pulls over to the side of the road, just starts screaming.
Taken down because it was a distraction and a safety.
Oh, fuck you.
Taken down safety.
As well, if we are talking to the next Banksy, please send some
signed prints to the studio.
This would be a cool 3D thing actually.
Like if somebody modeled the Trump sign on that hill and you
could download it and print it, that would be cool. Little 3D 3d mode I would paint it I would think that's a great idea my
magnifying glass out in my work hammer sense yeah paint it all up dry brush it for a little bit of
detail I mean you got anything you think you want to plug it doesn't sound like it I really
appreciate you calling it low pro I'm going I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I He's gonna ride out into the sunset off into the sunset. He's coming back.
They'll say they're done.
They help you do.
They're not with that one left job.
And then Alphanino catches you, man.
Alphanino will be there.
Yeah, right.
When Baron runs, they'll be there.
They'll come out of retirement.
You're gonna have an animatonic Trump up on that hill
waving everybody going, but hello!
I'm the president again,
carbon and amount rush more.
Yeah, there you go.
All right, man, have a good one.
All right, guys.
Thank you.
See you, I see you.
Bye.
He's not done.
You can hear it in his voice.
He's never done.
I hope he's not done.
I hope he's not done.
An artist's work is never truly done.
Okay.
All right.
It is sad when I, yeah, the idea that it's such a, like, a little thing and that the government
would find some way to rail you for it.
Fuck it for it.
So they do.
Well, it's if they want to, if they want to, then there's a way, you know, it's like,
they just talked about like, there's a will in the government.
There's a way to rape you.
Well, it's like a cop, you know, if I want to get into your car, I'll find a reason to
get into your car.
Yeah. Well, it's like a cop, you know, if I want to get into your car, I'll find a reason to get into your car. Yeah, I'm about to see.
There's some comments from last episode.
This is, uh, what object?
Trans Jesus is real in Iceland.
No way.
Just if I can bring this up.
Fantastic.
Yeah, remember I said, what do you think trans Jesus will be a thing?
Yeah, yeah.
Trans Jesus.
Is he black too?
I wouldn't know how to be able to tell that far enough. Yeah,
look at this. Call me Sige. I'm from Iceland. I send her a neutral Jesus might be a myth, but
trans Jesus is very real here in Iceland. Our national church started making a marketing campaign for its Sunday school for kids. I think this image speaks for itself.
I saw this image in my life.
I do not know what this was, but now I do.
Ah, this is, let me see if I can bring this over.
It is a lady to man Jesus.
Okay.
Okay.
Let me see if I can bring this over somehow.
Sunuto, Gascolon, is that, can you drag it in?
Sunuto, gaskolan, Jesus.
There we go.
That, I'm gonna put him right on top of Sean,
that's trans Jesus.
Yeah.
That is.
Now, you know what, now fucking Icelanders
are gonna have to work on it.
But again, their fucking heads cut off.
Do you wanna make it really good?
What the fuck are you doing?
Hold, hold, hold, and, uh, drag from the side,
and you can crop just by holding, uh,
oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you know that?
I did know that.
I'm sure.
Cause if you didn't sound like you knew that.
I knew that.
I wanted to, I wanted to,
you weren't doing it until you said it.
I know, I wanted to, I wanted to,
I wanted to do what I'm doing.
Okay.
This is the bearded Jesus with big juicy jiggling tits. Oh,
in a church. There's a brilliant way for inclusiveness and diversity. And guess what?
Everybody hated it except for woke white women. Dub, dub, dub. Instead of BW, BBW,
it's the world war, DBW, W. Dub, dub, white women. Not Titty Jesus. Oh, white women. I don't want
white women. God. White women are ruined and everything?
They always have been since the beginning of time.
I know, but now just people get distracted with politics
and the federal reserve and stuff like that.
I love it, how you work that in.
That is the best bit on this fucking show.
You know what I just, my car got pumped in last.
That's so funny.
Honey, can you get my pump?
It's still got damn funny to me.
We parked our pump in, so.
Stracted with spooky, the spookiest thing we could have met.
Oh, no, I'll get my pump in in this second.
Okay, okay, what I carved.
But it is woke white women.
The LBGT community called it desperate pandering
and the church lost a lot of its followers.
Oh, well, I mean, isn't that.
What did you fucking think was gonna happen? How do you lose? How does a church
just go? I don't know why they wouldn't go. Where else they're gonna go? Satan. Well,
clearly he was on the last of the whole time done with church. I'm going to say,
I have here's your pumpkin. Oh, yeah, here. Oh, my God. This is the spookiest thing I could
imagine. I wonder that take you hold that that up, but the federal reserve areas.
That's the federal reserve logo.
Yeah, all the kids in the neighborhood are gonna be real.
I wanna get some kids.
You know, see, I kinda ran, I kinda did a little,
pretty good.
I did pretty good, right?
I did pretty good on the letters.
I started with the LR, that's my secret.
I start with the middle, so I don't mess up too bad going the other way.
Yeah, I think you see how it's gonna go. I thought you the middle, so I don't mess up too bad going the other way.
I think this is how it's gonna go.
I thought you're supposed to.
Pretty fucking good, man.
That's pretty fucking good.
And I'm sure you did not have good pumpkin carving tools either.
I use my teeth.
Okay.
Really.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Very nice.
Yeah.
It's what I wanted to do with Trump.
I want to do George Floyd first.
As a caravan of pumpkin.
Jesus, I have a caravan of pumpkin in a million years.
Don't do George Floyd.
Why?
I don't know.
Out of respect.
No, because you can't destroy it.
Because then you're disrespecting George Floyd.
No, no.
Yeah, he's got immunity.
He's got pumpkin immunity.
No.
George Floyd.
Can you just let people enjoy Halloween dick?
These kids are walking around the neighborhood.
No, it's just I could not.
I didn't want to mess up and make the lips.
I started and I'm like, I don't know, man, I can't make it.
I can't make his lips this big.
That's not cheating.
I can't do that.
I just can't do it.
Have you seen the murals?
Every mural, man.
There's a lick on the floor.
Oh, my God.
I mean, that's not a...
Whoa!
That's not a race.
He was dying.
That's the worst swollen.
No, he's the pick of that.
Like the X-Quaddle, like the sad fish.
It doesn't really look like that
No, it looks like that because it gets brought up out of the bottom of the ocean
Yeah, right you know that what the what that sad fish the blob fish
Oh the blob fish it doesn't normally look like that with the nose
It does only does that because they put up that the pressure I
Explodes I didn't know that boom. I didn't know that
But I do know that a lot of you've gone close the dynamite
calibote fishing right face you pull up all the rock caught and the stuff in their eye
the swim bladder comes out their mouth and the eyes. I know that happens. Is it irreversible
into the blobfish was irreversible? You can't see on their eyeballs back into their
head. The block fish because the blog fish are alive when you pull them up like that.
I thought.
Barely.
They're exploding.
That's why they look like that.
Normally they look like normal fish.
Yeah, they don't, you know, scuba divers got a decompression.
I gotta say this.
Right, right, the bums for Acing You, Sean, because you didn't know that.
Yes, I did not.
Oh, so that's been updated. Oh
Trump Oh, so that's been updated. Yeah, Reverend's cool. I've got to that cool. I guess more ones
Did you know that when dogs don't have eyes they are more loved by God and they like strawberries more and they like strawberries
Look at my no look at this fucking monstrosity grow a heart
You monster, you know how many homeless people those every
bitch in that thread has helped the zip absolutely fucking they would go yeah yeah
on the way out of the dog yeah exactly exactly the homeless guy came up and tried to pet
their dog they would call the fucking police because they're racist. Also, my room records, Sean's animal corner,
did you know that male ducks have a 17 inch
corkscrew penis?
I did.
Yeah, I knew that one.
Okay, that's an easy one.
That explode, the female ducks have reverse threaded vagina.
Yeah, you knew that, all right, come on, my room records.
Cause they want a rape so bad.
Yeah, ducks are very rapey, right?
Yeah. A lot of animals are very rapey to be fair.
Say that the female ducks are coxies is. Yeah. They're in Cape. Why are they
crushing you? Exactly. You've seen Daisy duck, slut.
Does she have pants? She has a skirt, right? She has a skirt. I think she doesn't actually have pants.
I got my nephews to call Minnie Mouse, Mickey Mouse in a dress.
That's pretty funny.
When they were really little, they were showing me their toys.
Like, here's Mickey.
Here's Minnie.
I said, no, that's Mickey Mouse in the dress.
That's Mickey Mouse wearing a dress.
And my sister got pissed.
That's all they called Minnie.
They're like, okay, here's, let's get Mickey in a dress.
You're gonna get those kids all gender confused, man.
Oh no.
They know exactly who that joke pisses off.
Just a lot of that.
Tailspin.
But why?
That was the one we discussed that one time.
You said tailspin was your Rosetta stone for fucked up, devious, anything.
Tailspin.
Tailspin.
Balloon.
The one tails.
I know tails and I know tails.
And beckers. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, yeah, it is tail spill. I didn't know. I was remembering. Probably, I was, I mean, I don't know. Who knows.
He says a lot of things.
Yeah, well, if it wasn't about the federal reserve,
I don't care.
Right, right, right.
Bill Bill, hey, Dick and Sean, did you know, Sean,
did you know that a, the tardy grade, a micro animal,
also known as a water bear can survive in outer space?
I did.
Yeah.
Okay.
Did you know that?
You know how I knew that?
How do you know that?
Because I recorded a Scooby-Doo episode with Neil DeGrasse Tyson and I can
Bill Nye and the character or the the whole thing was a a tardigrade that grew
out of control and it was in outer space. Oh really? I heard of the tardigrade,
but I read a lot of facts about it.
Did they play themselves in that episode?
Of course they fucking did, of course they did.
Of course they did, yeah.
That's what Scooby-Doo does now.
They do a lot of camis.
Well, there's a whole, there's two whole seasons of just guest stars.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Everybody from them to, yeah.
Did you know that the koala has an appendix that is two meters long on average?
I don't know if that's true.
I did not.
Yeah.
No, that's not really fucking how long of organs.
Yeah, I don't know how to use that information.
Yeah.
So interesting animal thing.
How long is your appendix?
Oh, I get 10 meters dude.
bigger than average.
Mine is a little bit bigger than average.
I love the federal government says Sean, did you know that when seals feel safe, they
strike and content.
What?
I'm doubting the veracity of this already.
They strike a banana pose.
Do you know what they're content?
They strike a banana pose, what?
In the water or...
Well, here's what he's, this is a picture he's got attached to.
Or just the way that they...
Oh, that's what a happy seal looks like
No, I don't call that I don't believe that I didn't know that yeah, that's Nikeying brought to you by
brought to you by Nike all right. Well, there's another episode of
Sean's animal corner. Yeah play the
Pretty good There you go. Are you good? Nice job, too.
I love the Shuns Animal Corner.
Put that eyeless dog down.
No.
Yeah.
Oh, god.
Rockets.
Plugs some webcams into it and just see if it works.
Does it see if anything works?
Plugs in the dogs.
Yeah. It could work.
Those blind animals, they don't need a lot of to be happy.
Uh, Andrew.
I don't live for free now.
I don't want the blind dog.
I can handle it.
When I see those posts, like, uh, it does depress me.
Oh, he's so beautiful.
Who's beautiful?
Say that so you can move on with your day.
So what's he?
Did that happen to him?
And then they put like skin grafts over the sockets or something
or was he born like that?
I don't know.
I think they just naturally form if you have a, I don't know, like some are gone.
Yeah, so yeah, I don't know what happened.
Some people in the corner is over.
That's it.
No more animals.
No more animal discussion.
Fine.
I have a great orangutan fact.
No.
Feel free to read it. Hey, Dick, it's me.
The fatso branded is Hato mi Tanaka's titties. I don't remember that. I don't either. Was it?
Is it the federal reserve? No, no, no, maybe. No, then I wasn't paying attention. I emailed you
about a year ago asking to be insulted and fat-shamed into making me skinny. I remember this. Yeah.
Talk about as nipples for like 10 minutes. Well, I thought, I know,
Fatter than ever.
I thought I'd let you know that I just passed my milestone
of losing 100 pounds.
Wow.
Great.
At peak mass.
That makes me feel like a piece of shit.
What do you weigh?
I don't know.
I don't check.
You don't check.
I don't have a scale.
What's your over under?
Like what is my heaviest I've been?
No, no, no.
What's like, what would you guess?
What would you guess, I'm at like 250 right now.
250?
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know, I would go, I think you're a little bit.
I'm heavier.
Under it?
I would go under 250.
Yeah.
It's a good ass guess though.
My peak mass, I was at 3.35.
That's big.
And just the other day, I was down to 2.35.
What would it take for you to lose weight? I've lost 50 pounds before like I mean permanently. What would it take for me to stay?
Well death obviously permanently.
Uh,
Oh, take me.
He's fucking Christ. How much autism is I?
I'm gonna take for you lose weight permanently.
I feel satisfied without
drowning my self in cake.
Is that what you do?
Drown my, I don't eat sweets.
Every time I drink, you're eating a twinkier sandwich.
It's more, I don't have, you know,
I don't have a commute, like I used to bike to work.
I don't have to do that anymore.
It's like, I do everything in front of my computer.
So it's hard to, yeah.
I'm doing like an hour or so.
So it's the society fault.
Yeah, society fault.
Exactly. There are no outside of it. Well, it take, I'm trapped to say, what would it's the society's fault. Yeah, society's fault. Exactly.
There are no outside of it.
What would it take?
I'm trapped.
What would it take for you to get away?
Yeah.
Like 150 pounds.
What would that take?
150 pounds.
What would it take for you to lose 50 pounds?
He'd be 100 pounds very high.
I honestly don't understand the question.
Like what would I need in my life?
Yeah.
What would motivate you?
What would motivate me?
I don't have to think about it.
Yeah. I knew that, well, this guy just took me. I don't know, I'd have to think about it. Yeah.
I knew that, well, this guy just took me to the bottom.
I'm honestly, and I'm working out every day, so.
How do you do?
I do an hour cardio a day.
Really?
So you're probably going the right way then.
I just haven't been surprised.
But for how long?
I mean, like hour.
No, I don't know, I mean, how, when did you start?
Like, like, yesterday, like two months ago.
Yeah, all right, well to say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to stay on it.
All right, all right.
I'm a fat guy who's like, I'm not completely out of shape,
you know, I can, I've heard a lot of fat guys say that.
Yeah, well, I don't know, I'm saying I don't not do anything,
right?
I knew that if anybody could fat shame
and insult me into losing weight, it was you.
You're just thinking insults have stuck with me
through this endeavor.
Anytime I thought of getting takeout
or not going to the gym, I saw you.
You and your smug face laughing and pointing,
calling me things like silver dollar nips, gravy baps,
lardo, McFadass, plate liquor,
fridge rater,
diet liquor,
diabetic olympia, et cetera.
This in my spite for my ex, oh, that's pretty good motivator.
Was a source of my motivation. Still got another 50 pounds to go before I'm at my goal,
but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And light is beautiful. I think that
goes without saying 2020 has been a shitty year, but reaching these milestones has made it a
little better. Cheers. That's good. That's good with all the, you know, ex, just the shittiness,
the external stress, the societal depression that he's still,
he was still able to do that in this year.
That's a fucking great.
That should be a, that should be a further motivator.
Like think what you can do when you're, what it's, you know?
Yeah.
Oh man.
Yeah, good job.
Good for you.
Americans are broke because they're stupid with money.
Okay, that's ought to be good. Hey, Dick, just listening to the latest episode, I'm on the part where the high schoolers
calling in to discuss his views on international affairs and foreign policy. Well, that person is an
idiot. I feel the need to call. I feel the need to call you out. I love it when they say what I
want to say all the time, you know, it's just sometimes they just get it, you know, I don't start.
you know, it's just sometimes they just get it, you know, I go, I don't start.
Let the show go.
I feel like I need to.
Well, you know, it's not satisfying for people as you think
to just say someone's an idiot.
Like they just enjoy hearing it more.
Like, yeah, okay, I really hate what's being said.
I'd like to hear more of that.
I feel the need to call you out for something you said
and have repeatedly said over the years
that Americans are broke.
Yeah, that's true.
While on the surface that statement is correct.
Well, there you go, not reading the rest.
I think that it's an extremely important reason
why people are broke that is being glossed over
when that comment is made.
Most Americans make a shit ton of money
relative to any other group of people on earth.
Okay, it's up for one group, but the reason it may not look that way.
All right, this is a...
The reason it may not look that way in America is because of vast majority of Americans
are financially retarded.
Oh, wow.
Americans buy dumb shit, lease cars, and marry women.
Americans were more frugal and took things
like investing in personal finance more seriously
than the vast majority already have an income
to be capable of retiring with millions of dollars
to name millions.
I don't know about that.
Well, the wages, you know,
wait a minute.
He just haven't gone, no, I mean, I know he's,
I mean, there's, you can throw a rock
and find a person who's recklessly retarded with money.
Yeah, he's, he's right, but it has gotten, yeah, but it has gotten a lot of money on healthcare.
It's gotten incredibly difficult to afford like necessities compared to what the wages
are.
It's, it's disposable income shrinks every year.
Big time.
No, big time.
I think this needs to be hammered home to your audience in particular because many of
them are in their teens and twenties and the sooner they start getting serious about
their finances, the better off the good.
So what's being serious about your finances right now?
While they're printing trillions of dollars and as soon as the Democrat gets in, they're
going to print everyone out of student loans and print enough money to run colleges as
a brainwashing detention center until you're 30 forever, forever. How do you, how do you find it? How do you, how do you, how do you're thirty for ever forever how do you how do you find out how do you
be terrifying
uh... i'm going to college
yeah i'm going that we're all manage we're going back to mandatory college by
the way i don't want to because i don't want to i don't have to pay bills and do
all that kind of
don't worry about your social security payments will be dumped into your
student loans that you have to have either way.
I just want to take, well, go to school.
I just want to take a vacation the rest of my life.
That's what I really want to do.
I'm afraid that's not.
You're, as long as the word you're using vacation,
that's offensive.
What you mean to do is you need to work
for the greater good for the rest of your life.
Holiday.
Holiday was coined by white supremacist
federal organizers, motherfucker. Finally, I just want to think what is being
what is being fiscally responsible then? I don't know, man,
I always say like the same stuff too, or they're like, well, it's
easy. Just, you know, never have a kid and never get married.
I'm like, well, some people want to do that, man. I can't stop them.
The isn't that part of the happy niche? It's just not increased.
No, it's fucking dead or going down.
People don't have a family. It's like people don't own their homes. You know what I mean?
It's like the amount of people who it's crazy. It's just it's not everyone else's fault.
And here's being financial, you know what? They are be financially secure. Have a 60 year
mortgage and just make sure that spend I saw some article today saying why have inheritance
for your kids when you can just spend it all and live it up
and go on vacations?
Like I mean,
that's a fucking thing.
This is fucking insane.
Who is this talking about?
That's what they're pushing you into though,
is they're saying, well,
you're not supposed to have any money left over
when you die.
Just die.
Finally, I want to thank you and Sean
for being such a positive influence in my life.
For real?
Yeah, you don't have positive voice mails.
Or mails. Listen to the shots. They tell people with their dogs, getting a lot of positive voice mails. Or mails.
Listen to the show.
The people tell people with their dogs,
it's blind, they just kill itself.
Don't post a picture of your fucking self.
Don't fucking talk.
Talking dogs.
Kill itself.
It's not gonna be on the asshole.
That's actually more appealing to me.
Real positive show.
She is.
Listening to this show motivated me to try many new things
that I otherwise wouldn't have,
would have been too much of a pussy to do.
And that led me onto a path of
fulfillment and happiness that I didn't realize was available to me prior to
finding your show. Well good. I hope you are giving a little back for something
for the effort. Overall this fucking happiness here getting patreon.com slash
the Dix show. That would be financially reckless. Yeah, no, you can't money out of frivolous. Yeah, no, you can't buy a frivolous. Come on, podcast.
You can get for free.
The good stuff though is behind the paywall.
Video, a dollar,
commentary,
classic movie commentary tracks that take place.
That's true.
You're making a compelling argument.
You haven't listened to the evil dead commentary.
You haven't.
Right.
Much of the advice you've tried.
If you haven't listened to the evil dead commentary,
you, sir, have not been disappointed.
I thought it was pretty good.
I thought it was pretty good.
It's totally fine.
I really liked it.
I really know there was a remake when I posted it first.
Yeah, you posted it in 2012 or something or like when did they, right?
I also did not know there was a remake.
It must have went completely under the radar.
Why would you remake that movie?
Why would we do a commentary on the remake?
No, yeah, that would make no sense.
Oh, fuck and the-
It's the- you said it.
And then I posted the wrong poster
and everyone's like trying to watch the new one.
Great.
Whoops.
No refunds.
Much of the advice you give, probably blah.
I'm an adult and while there's still plenty
I need to figure out, I feel that this show
is what put me on the right path.
Sincerely, a rainman.
Okay, let me see if I have any advice.
And then let's do voice mails,
and then let's get out of here.
If you talk about that movie though,
real quick.
You wanna talk about that?
Yeah, yeah.
I think it would be good.
Okay, go ahead.
So I've always had this idea, kicking around.
And it's the idea is it would be a horror movie.
I don't know exactly how it would be structured,
but originally I had structured it would be a guy,
like a classic young conservative in a manga hat.
I think I came up with this one, Mylow's Cat. Classic. Yeah I think I came up with this one, Mylow.
Classic.
Classic.
Yeah, well, I came up with this one, Mylow.
And he's like going around giving speeches and whatever else.
Yeah.
Going around giving head.
Yeah.
Does one of these speeches, you know, and he pisses off a bunch of these SJW types with
the pink hair in the costume.
Why are they quotes?
What are SJWs?
Well, true.
So you have the conservative side of the equation.
And I have, anyway, and then afterwards,
he hands up drinking with some woman,
well maybe she has purple hair or whatever else,
drinks a little too much, wakes up in a sauce.
Now one like purple hair falls out of her hair.
And he's like, what is that?
And she's like, oh, don't worry about it.
She tucks it back under her maga hat.
There you go.
Oh, that's good.
Okay.
Wakes up in a Saw-style, hostile situation
in an Antifa bunker, where all the different rooms
are filled with conservative, you know,
Christmas.
Yeah, conservative, being tortured by Antifa.
Just for the sake of torture.
Because Antifa is sick or kind of a good move.
Well, I was thinking like one of them would be like one of these guys just says, you know,
no abortion, we got to get rid of abortion.
And then we show that they're performing an abortion on this guy.
And abortion on the guy, and they're like, you on a takeaway, all right, to have an abortion.
Why don't you see, and they're cutting any screaming.
That's a sick.
And each room is like a different theme.
All right.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
And it's Antifa.
Yeah, the movie.
Yeah.
Are we name it Antifa?
Can we just call it Antifa?
Because it's just an idea.
Yeah, well, probably they probably would be the tagline for the movie. And he is just an idea. And it's a bunch of pretty good. That's really
good. And then it escapes and kicks all their ass. Exactly. The end. Man, it escapes.
He takes his mage hat off the shelf. It's covered in white. And it's the baseball bat. Him and his unborn fetus. Yes. Yes.
Yes.
And all the people he said he had a black guy
and like a Captain Planet guy.
He was like an Indian guy.
All the Mexican guys.
And they can go on the stereotypes.
No, that I'm half.
And he's like a half, half Mexican.
Well, you're cutting him in half, right?
He's like a black Mexican.
He just writes himself into the movie.
And he's like, oh, we we're gonna build a wall, right?
And they build airtight wall around him as he's screaming.
Please don't build the wall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Traffs him in a holy oxygen.
And then they just fill it with lava or some shit.
And it's the ultimate conservative horror movie.
Antifa, it's just an idea.
And he kills them all.
Don't dump, don't dump.
Yeah, that's the climax.
Oh man, it's like a better version of a hostile kind of they're like, and what was that?
What's that Bruce Willis?
Reem death wish.
Death wish.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
That was a great movie.
So you just set a remake of death wish.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was really, really.
Of course it was.
Who's it?
Some Charles Bronson.
They're really, really.
Bronson's a original.
Yeah.
So I was thinking it was, it would be good because you would probably know guys who could be, they can be like, you know, quick one minute,
like, you know, they're just going past the torture chambers.
And it's like baked Alaska.
They've got like a baked Alaska or Ralph.
They're just like, I just wanted to make an internet show.
I just wanted to make it and they're like,
bashing his head in with a hammer or whatever the fuck.
Maybe destiny would be in it.
Yeah, you'd have to come up and you'd have to figure out,
you know, what their conservative crime is and what the ironic punishment be in it. Yeah, you'd have to come up and you'd have to figure out what their conservative crime is
and what the ironic punishment is for it.
Well, I've seen Willy Wonka, yeah.
Yeah.
You like a live stream?
Well, we're live streaming this now to a bunch of Russian pervers about a dead stream.
Yeah, exactly.
And the de-platforming is like the floors like falling away piece by piece.
We're gonna de-plant for you.
There's a couple to them in there.
We're stepping each other off.
There's spikes like going up and down and saws beneath the floor.
Yeah.
Uh, you don't believe the Holocaust to happen?
Well, here's an oven.
You got to.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
You know, I, you're a Holocaust.
We were called Antifa.
I think the idea is I thought you guys are calling it an Antifa. I think you did. I thought you guys were calling it an antifa.
No, I did.
I figured you guys could make a better movie
than the evil dead.
And then you both started talking.
You didn't see that?
You wouldn't see that movie.
Oh, I'm in.
Here it is.
Let's do it.
But here's the thing is, we could just do like a short,
because what they do in Hollywood now is
if you want to make a horror movie.
Do we go? No, you just make like a quick shoot. Like we could do like a short, because what they do in Hollywood now is, if you wanna make a horror movie, no, you just make like a quick,
like we could do like a good horror short.
It's like a glorified teaser.
Let me talk to Randy.
If you just do this,
I mean, like going down the hallway
and like a bunch of dudes getting tortured
in weird ways and then,
yeah.
And then just cut and like,
we're in T for the hit the guy in the head
of the baseball bat.
It's a cheap movie with you, man.
You can make all horror movies cheap.
That's the thing.
It's just a bunch of caros syrup and red food coloring.
I love it.
I think, I don't know.
I've always had that idea in my head
about making the Antifa horror movie
because I think people would really get a kick out of it.
Let's do it.
Let's swap.
There's a huge money.
There's conservative money on something.
Is that I wouldn't want to do it on a budget of zero dollars.
But we could be like, hey, we're gonna.
Vito, Vito, let's make some money in our pockets. Well, we're making it as well. I don't want to make it on a budget of zero dollars, but we could be like hey, we're gonna be no veto Let's make why not put some money in our pockets while we're making this I don't want to make money off it
I just want to be able to like I definitely don't want to make money off. Okay, well
I want I want to get you know
There's like I know makeup artists and stuff. I would want to pay them to like you to hey when you cut off a guy's
I don't want it to look like shit, you know. And I'll pay you fairly.
All right, all right.
On the back and on the back.
On the back, you get back in a million.
Oh, yeah.
Now he gets it.
We'll have to talk.
I think it's, I don't know.
Give you a point.
I think it would be really funny.
Uh,
Hey, Dick and John, family fistfight advice.
My wife listens to the show sometimes.
So I made a throw away account in hopes of getting your opinions before this matter, before this matter happens and she
hears the show, how would a fake account change the story? My brother-in-law consistently
posts on my wife's Facebook about her being a baby killer and how she's a bad person
because she has pro-chal- Great. I take a few days ago. I typed out a comment to him
on one of his posts
that he should take Trump's dick out of his mouth
and reeducate himself.
Okay.
I showed my wife the message and told her
I didn't really want to start trouble,
but I thought it was funny.
That's a lie.
She laughed and said it was okay.
He told me not to talk to him like that
or not to talk to him at all.
Oh.
And not to talk to his wife's son ever again.
I said, I know you like to suck Trump's dick,
but come on.
This is great. It's like Jerry Springer,
but happening on email.
Yeah. You're commenting on my wife's things,
and I'm not gonna, you know,
I'm not going to your page to talk shit.
Oh, well, I'm glad I don't use Facebook.
Yeah. It's beneath us.
Oh, all of us.
I say it's a little too high, bro.
Yeah. I know you, are a Trump supporter,
and that's not my huge problem.
You can actually back up your arguments intelligently.
You guys time for that.
Yeah.
What good is that ever gotten anybody?
Yeah.
He's literally a person that says fake news,
and you show him anything that disagrees with his opinion.
I'm gonna start doing that.
Yeah, please don't.
Please don't.
Don't do that.
We got to feel doing it.
We're doing it with you.
After this looks change, I go to the store to pick up some beer.
I walk in the house and my wife looks at me baffled and said, he just said you deleted
your comments and that shows how weak you are.
So I go to, what is the fucking question?
Should he kick his ass or not?
I'm all for kicking this guy's ass.
Last sentence.
We'll see.
Teaching him a lesson.
That would teach him a lesson.
My wife not so much.
Now you can kick her ass too.
Do I know, I don't know what to do.
Do I swallow my pride and listen to my wife and not confront him when he comes here or
do I try to reason with her?
Also, he's got to have to kick his ass on principle alone.
What is his, is he dead or in law?
He did call him a pussy for something he didn't do to try to make it, to
try to make it seem like he deleted it and then, oh, what a pussy. Yeah. No. Well, I mean,
you know, you choose your own level of involvement. You should probably, you should probably
kick us.
Probably kill him. Yeah. I mean, maybe not even kick his ass.
Just trick him into assaulting you.
Not really.
Pull.
Throw down on him.
If you were a real man, you would,
you would code, you would duel him.
Pistols.
Pistols are a final alternative.
If you want to, that was a bonus episode we had
where you chug, you challenge a guy to a pistol.
And then you try to get as much piss on him,
same dual rules back to back.
I don't know about this plan.
That you never heard of my pistol plan?
You piss on each other?
Yeah, do a little bit of dual.
Right, okay.
And you don't want to shoot,
because that's illegal.
So you'd rather have someone pee on you.
Well, you don't want to have someone pee on you.
But they will pee on you.
I mean, that's up to you.
It's like getting shot.
You can prepare.
You gotta have your man in your corner.
They get there, man.
You put on your nicest white pants.
Right.
Actually, I let you wear whatever you want.
I don't want to wear the pants.
No, no, you have to see who won.
It's gotta be white.
Nope, no pants.
It has to be no pants.
We can't see what's, oh.
But otherwise, because if you're gonna have guys wearing like pissproof pants and rain
galoshes and stuff.
Well, you've got to set the terms ahead.
Like it can just...
No pants.
Otherwise you're ending up with like full fucking pants.
Otherwise you're back to bullets.
Otherwise you're getting like a piss stream amplifying machine to shoot piss across the
yard like a super stoker.
Fucking P.E.D.
I'll show you.
I'm all wearing my piss proof pants.
Yeah, no pants.
And then you take three steps.
I think if you've accepted a piss duel,
you're not gonna try and get creative.
There are no winners.
Yeah, you've already lost.
Well, you must have left out a lot of stuff
because what's, now that you guys wanna hear it,
well, I mean, if the guy's coming over to the house
or like, I gotta find the post, I can't access it.
He calls my wife complaining about how bad of a person I am and I'm a bad
war model to my kids.
Well, because he wants to abort kids.
So I point out how my brother got arrested because he was in a bar fight.
He doesn't want to be forced out and walked away.
Do not fight your, do not fight your brother.
Just piss brother-in-law. Just pistol him.
That's it.
Any man who won't respond to a pistol.
Just no man at all. It's fucking no man at all. No man.
And I don't argue with women online. That's just my policy. I see.
I don't argue with women. And any man who isn't going to accept a pistol at dawn is no man.
And this is how I should go. You just have to go pretty bad after a night's sleep.
And it's the stinkiest. Yeah. Load up on a sparigus the night before. Right. Shug Mountain Dew.
That's it.
Get some coffee.
I'm gonna die out of coffee that night before.
Yeah.
Three steps.
I mean, it's open hand.
Please don't do a hand, both.
Open hand.
You gotta press.
I see.
You could piss on them.
I don't need the visual.
If that's not what you think that's a good duel though.
Yeah, it's great.
I can't wait to get, for everyone to pee on each other to settle arguments.
How would you not, how would that not end in sheer laughter?
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's where you fucking belong is in the yard pissing on each other doing this stupid
horse shit.
Yeah.
I'll say this.
Maybe it is more mature than fighting online.
Yeah.
Just a little.
Yeah.
That's what we call satire, ladies and gentlemen.
I get it.
I get it. I'm going to take a shout. Vito, do you have anything you want to plug?
I see you brought me this nice shirt.
Patreon.com slash the Vito show.
And you can check out my merchandise at killdozer.industries.
That's when you shirt, isn't it?
And that's also one of my shirts.
Oh, it is?
Yeah, I ordered it for myself,
but they sent me the wrong size.
It is a very good size.
Can't even get the right size.
One of his own shirts.
It's a very stupid shit.
Says 3XL.
No, but if you look at the tag, it's actually L.
Huh.
Yeah, I don't think that's a three XL.
If you don't want that shirt,
I know that the joke makes no sense.
No, I want the shirt.
I love it.
It's funny to me only.
No, I got it.
Baby suit is club and it's hot.
It's the Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, I understand it.
Get all of it all turned into you.
I'm fucking understanding it.
I'm a weird alternate universe stuff.
Patreon.com slash the video show.
Actually, just go to youtube.com slash video.
Someone also sent this present Sean.
What's this?
How to bunches of cigars in here by our smoke them.
Cool.
In the book.
Our next to the book.
Days of rage, Brian Burrow, author of public enemies.
America's radical underground at the FBI.
The forgotten age of revolutionary violence.
Let's see what he says.
Oh, wow.
Hey, Dicco, everything is well in the city of failure.
It's not, it's horrible.
Fucking horrible.
Sending you along a book I think you'll like
and some sticks, you smoke cigars, right?
Yeah.
Would just ask you, are careful of disposing of the parse,
would just ask you, careful of disposing of the parcel.
No, you have had some instances of unwelcome guests
in LA bunker and wouldn't want my op-sec compromised,
especially in this social atmosphere by some creep going through your trash. Okay.
Honey, can you make sure you throw this away? Rock on and go fuck yourself to you and
shine a fan of the show. All right. Well, thanks, buddy. There you go. Okay, buddy. This has been
Dick Chau. He's trying to come slash the Dick show. Roadridge's Ham Tamp. Oh, God, yeah. Burning Dick is next weekend.
We're doing, wow.
Yeah, we're meeting up at Cuttaback, go on Facebook, find any of, find any of the regs
on Facebook if you want to come.
It's not an event, but there's no charge or anything, but we are going to go up there
and scope it out and try to do a little burning the infestival.
Let's see if it's good.
Pistool to your hearts content.
So you just go on for like an overnight to like scope out.
Yeah, Friday to Sunday.
We might have to move the show back a little bit next week then.
Should be fun though.
Do what I do.
A lot of people are coming.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
I've been meeting them.
It's gonna be fun.
I rented some port of finance too.
Yeah.
I don't have a tent or anything.
I have to find something.
I have a tent.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can use my tent.
All right, everybody.
Patreon.com, that's a Facebook thing,
or I think Kevin, the replacement audio engineer
is on Twitter, you can find him quality penis, I think he is.
Yeah, you can.
Yeah, at quality penis.
Does I miss anything?
No.
Patreon.com slash the dick show, dick.coia.co.c next Tuesday. Oh, here's a good one.
Hey, Dick.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean.
Hey.
Hey, Sean. Hey. Hey, Sean. Hey. Hey. But my rage is when you're holding a cake or something,
someone will always fucking go,
well don't drop that.
All right, thanks motherfucker, you know.
I don't drop any other foods,
but when I get a cake in my hands,
I get a bit fucking silly, you know, I just,
whoa, whoa fuck, I drop the cake again.
The only fucking food I drop,
and it's all because you didn't tell me,
don't drop that, you fucker don't drop that
i'll make it call you know i'd be careful with it
because fucking great my previous car have them i never use them and god
what a mess out i missed it
let's see if i can human this car and when you're back so i fucked up you sit down
turn up you sit down, turn that shit on.
Probably heated seats.
Oh yeah.
All right.
Go fuck yourself.
Sean, I love you.
I love you too.
Oh, brother-in-law has ass cooling seats.
The cooling seats too, yeah.
Yeah.
That's nice.
I see you're thinking behind the eyes, your gears are turning at that.
Oh, I would, yeah.
I've never had like a recent car.
Oh no.
I drive a Honda element.
It's not, it's like 2000, so.
After we sell this movie and keep all the profits for ourselves,
we're gonna get some.
It's one of those things where I'm like, dude,
people would be into that.
I think they'd think it's real funny.
I would watch it every day.
You could make it real good.
Like the more I think about it,
I bet Danny McBride would be in it.
How's it like, if you get guys that like people legitimately hate
and want to have their see their teeth get smashed in Mel Gibson. Yeah. Vince Vaughn. Danny McBride.
Who's another conservative? Who would I like to see his teeth bash? Did you say Kevin
James on here? Like a conservative? Yeah. What? Jesse Eisenberg? Yeah. Jesse Eisenberg.
Yeah. Okay. Here's another. Let's do Let's do it. I'm serious. We got
a big time. I'm fucking cross-bass fuck. Nice. I just had a huge fucking moment, man.
Watching this like, they're like, TikTok, crunch, and there's like, this young half girl on there and I think she like 12 or 13
years old man and it's like who's like say oh yeah here's the
stout like they fucking DVD like oh yeah he had one of those you
really show like you know you know oh bad is your face for you to be fucking realize like God damn. Oh,
they're in my old but like I know. I know.
Yeah, it's because not a lot of you're on TikTok.
I'm just getting fucking stuck.
Over the new year ones too. Like God, what the
half of fucking losers are if they're gonna be.
Oh, yeah, they're gonna be there?
Yeah, they're fucking nostalgia like the fucking DVD horrible player like
fuck my fucking cock bitch.
12, 12, no.
Like the fuck is this?
Oh shit.
Oh, this guy's demeaning.
Oh, this guy's demeaning.
Fuck this shit, man.
Fuck man. Fuck, man.
Shit, man.
Fuck, man.
I can't figure out that TikTok thing.
How could a Turing test ever fail?
That's my question.
Yeah.
It's funny.
Well, a computer could fail that test.
Right.
What do you think you're talking to?
I have, I know.
I know.
Doesn't matter.
Got me.
Yo, Dick and Sean. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We have a good food and all that shit end up like having like I thought I was like 104 What a stupid looking dick
Bill between us just because how the tips
The funny like it you like partial rage man fucking whiskey is god damn expensive at the fucking bar
Man, no shit. Yeah, that's designed so like the men stay home
The point I don't know I left the tip and then
He leaves the tip and they legitimately they call them out and they're like, hey, is blah blah blah there?
Is it is is any one of you named blah blah blah? And it's like yeah, he said, well, if you're going to see it the bar for like three hours, like, you need to leave at least a 10% tip.
It's not higher than anything. What?
Apparently I guess my friend left a little bit lower tip or whatever.
You got that statement writing somewhere that I agreed to.
I was like, would not let him go unless he left a higher tip.
What?
What do you mean let him go?
Give or you guys in drinking it.
Man, I'm never a never left a bar.
They want me to say.
Yeah.
I'm out here. Give it up. Fuck it. I said, you bar when they wanted me to stay. Yeah.
I'm out here, good job.
Fucking set up.
You tab, get the fuck out of here.
Yes.
You want a tip?
No, just leave.
Right.
Go away.
Fucking, you know what makes me very, very sweet.
Talks trying to talk about tipping and anyone who's a waitress or has been a waitress
show's out.
Oh, yeah.
You just don't know how hard it, you can't, I'm like, no, but it's still a shitty system.
It doesn't matter what you went through.
I want to sit the waitress down,
just the one waitress who represents them all.
Yeah.
And say, I need to explain something to you, honey.
You're too stupid to understand how bad of a job you do.
Yeah, this is, it's really important
that you understand this concept.
I know you'll never do a good job.
You fuck up every order.
You don't understand basic manners. You probably don't wash your hands, but you are too stupid to
understand how bad of a job you do at work. And that's, and that's, and that's it.
And then nothing you do is, is brave or you're not a fighter for whatever, like, oh, I'm,
I'm on the front mind. It's said, I need to get, I didn't need to get escalated to this
level, but here we are. You need to know something, it's very important
that you understand this now and forever.
Do you know about the Federal Reserve?
The answer is definitely no.
They do show up every time I was a wage, I was a server.
Yeah, I tried to talk about it on Twitter
and I ended up like all these people being like,
that's what happened.
Well, the YouTuber doesn't want to tip,
and I'm like, when did I say I didn't want to tip,
I said it's a shitty fucking system based on nothing.
Yeah.
And we clearly should phase it out
like every other developed country
in the history of the world.
Get them to pay you more.
Yeah.
Your life sucks and it's not my fault.
Like I'm not tricked into thinking that I'm not paying.
What I know how much I'm paying,
that's how much I'm willing to pay when I go there.
Right.
Just put it on the fucking menu.
In Australia, I got told repeatedly,
don't do it.
If you do, it's very, very small amount,
but they're like, look, nobody does it.
Like you're not, it will be seen as weird.
You can, nobody does it.
Yeah.
Except Americans.
Except Americans.
They don't really.
Rock and man is here. We got the interesting. Except Americans. That's really it.
Rock and man is here.
We got the interesting happening in space
or a space shut down due to COVID too.
Space shut down.
No more space.
Yeah.
No fun.
All right, last one.
Hey Dick and Sean.
Is that a bomb?
Was it a Washington older?
Fuck it.
What?
Whatever my fucking name is from North Carolina.
I got it for my question for you.
Because I was watching an older episode
where this guy
wrote in
email about how
It doesn't count as losing your virginity
Because there was a guy on the version contest who
Got out of the version contest because he fucked a prostitute the cows and the guy was like well that doesn't count
You got to get women to willingly
out-seek that you know.
That's impossible.
You're sensitive.
You and Sean and Vito were like, that's retarded.
You know, there was always an incentive
that is not for you.
That's not.
It's still count as a sex.
And that guy was being like a.
Why would it not good keeper or whatever
I was wondering the public
The topic noise I need
It was wondering
Does it count as sex because in a few episodes you talked about I remember when you got the auto blow
When you were talking about like well, that does not count as sex no
These bang bots become popular these sex robots
uh... no there's no need for women anymore
because women are just if women would settle whatever
thing people say it's like it's like it's been a bit of a game ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha will be a good thing. What if I go to the
courses too?
I think that in the future, if a kid, like some random guy,
grows up with no women around, and it's just a pine bot, and he fucks like
bang-ro-bite.
The back guy has sex.
Does that count as a sex, but is that like, he's you divergent still because he's never entered a woman. Yeah, please
entered. Yeah, it's pretty sad. It's a
little
little gang bot.
That's the thing.
What I'm thinking is, you know, what is she's wearing?
But she's like a side boy, right? She's not very human.
In the virgin contest. If you had sex with a woman, you're not a virgin.
That's about it.
So what does she look like?
Mickey Mouse in a dress.
Okay, now it's a Tuesday.
You only got $1.57.
If you frown and chick during daylight,
saving time and you jump back,
you go over the international daylight.
That is not the because.
Conquer some epic quest.
Okay, put your deck in the vagina,
whether or not it's an artificial one.
It's still going.
No, of course not.
Bucket of course not.
You idiot.
Did you have some with a human woman?
That's it.
Well, what if it's a version contest?
Is it only for a heterosexual sex or something?
No, there was a gay guy in there.
I think he accomplished it pretty quickly though.
I'm gonna say easy mode is a homosexual sex.
Oh, whoa.
What does that offensive mean, Overt?
Yeah, I saw some study.
Did I mention this last week?
It was supposed to be slamming gay guys, I think, but it said like gay men will have from
50 to a thousand times more partners than, well, yeah, no shit.
That's not gay.
That's not because heterosexual men are like resisting gay men.
That much is because of women.
If women were DTF, the rates would be one to one.
That's a feature of the penis.
It's not of the homosexual thing.
It's a man thing.
Okay, goodbye.
See ya.
Let's see ya.
Let's work on that movie.
Let's talk about it.
Oh yeah, I think there's something there.
you