The Dick Show - Episode 257 - Dick on Wood Inflation
Episode Date: May 3, 2021The price of lumber skyrockets, Jeopardy stands against anything resembling hate, Maddox's obsession with the cartel, the cyst guy calls in, Madcucks cheats, FOMO ruins Burning Man, Tony from Hack the... Movies talks Mortal Kombat, Crippled Jesus comes out as gay, the way strippers treat you, no team captains for kids, and Maddox for governor; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You know what? It's hard to, I need to figure out, I need to figure out which tendons on a woman's
neck indicate a smile to see what's landing with Taylor. Now, when you're just staring at the tits,
as much as, as rewarding as that is, you're going to go back in the tape. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want
to, don't get me wrong. Yeah. I don't want to, I don't want to look at the face. I don't want it
to sound like I'm backpedaling on my earlier statement saying that it was the, the perfect
news girl. Do you think you'll be perfect? Anything for me disappointed or the fantasy will
be better than? Well, I mean, that's a hell of a, that's a hell of a tough, that
question. You mean, what if she looks like the one of the,
the car can all, oh,
Gart, like the witch in Loaning Toons with the cauldron?
Ah!
I mean, just, what if she looks like you?
Whatever her head is just a big you.
God, what a terrible tragedy that would be.
Well, there's so many, look, there's so many things
to weigh this out, but yeah.
You're sure she's hot.
I am, yeah. There's so many things to weigh it out, but you're sure she's hot. I am.
Yeah.
There's so many things to weigh it out.
There's, well, could it ever be better than what you're picturing in your head?
What, and are you actually picturing something in your head, or is it just the nebulous,
maximal, positive emotion that could never be living up to, lived up to, and then there's
also, see, I can't picture her clearly.
I didn't even try. Yeah, right? Other than, I'm kind of, what celebrity do you look like?
I never get that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you're good. I thought you said good. That was like, I thought you said you could, you're good.
Was it, she would answer that on her only fans? That's the side of your kids. I lied about Chad asking that question because I wanted to know.
Yeah.
Well, of course.
Come on.
Lying.
Lying.
And I still didn't get an answer.
You could ask.
She said, she said, she said a bit.
She's 0.8.
0.8 on only fans now.
0.8%.
So under the 1% now, they only think that they all, they
all have that. Yeah, on the top. Wow. So look, it's the, it's, the show can be a curse
sometimes with a lot of people. The show can be a big benefit. Right, right. Some people,
too, rubbed both ways. My point was, what if, what if she does? What if the face does look, um,
monstrous bad. Okay. But what if it's like the like the poodle girl when the
water, the cartoon goes to the curtain rises and now wait a minute. What?
No, I mean, but you know, like you know the image I'm talking about.
Yeah, you do where it's like a girl. Everybody. Yeah, where it's like every,
well, her face looks like a poodle. She looks like. Yeah, yeah, where it's like a little girl. Yeah, where it's like, well, her face looks like a poodle.
She looks like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then all of a sudden it's like,
yeah, what if it's just slightly,
as the tits are, what if it's just,
if it's slightly less than average,
then I'm like, wait a minute, jackpot.
Now, now I've got the upper hand.
Right, so what am I hoping for?
Slightly, you know what I mean?
Yeah. Beautiful.
And those tits, oh, get out of here, out of my league, but, you know,
you're like, ooh, my league is what I'm hoping.
Hi, Maddie.
All right, let's start the show on that note. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Oh God, you know Milo is straight now.
Yeah, Milo is straight, I guess.
That's what he's going in.
Like evil, con evil.
Yeah!
Welcome to the show.
Where everything's going to be locked and I'm broke or deep in the heart as soon as you fail your, how's it gonna be?
How's it gonna be?
Hey, 20 million dollar man.
The American's worst Mexican 100
and seven weeks running.
Joining me is always this world touring LA based
comedian Sean, the audio engineer.
Hello, dick.
What's up, buddy?
Thank you for, thank you for not killing
yourself or myself.
Yeah.
Joining us on this very unhealthy program once again.
Hey, I have a real story.
How much does it cost?
Have you seen the price of lumber these days?
No.
What's the deal with lumber these days?
You want to fix a deck?
You want to fix a deck in your yard?
Finally, put aside some money with your crypto gambling shenanigans to fix a deck in your
backyard that they Mickey Mouse deck in your backyard.
Yeah.
That they Mickey Mouse slapped onto your house, that the flippers Mickey Mouse slapped
onto your house to say, oh, it's got, it's got a bad room balcony.
It's got a primary bedroom balcony.
We're going to, we're going to slap a shitty deck on this thing, not even around the orders
off properly.
That's what they did.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
That's what they did. Costs almost nothing.
And this is nothing.
Selling point.
Built it out of plastic.
Yeah, I'm gonna fix that deck up.
I'm gonna fix that deck up after a pandemic.
Yeah.
How much could it possibly cost?
I don't know.
Add $4,000 to that.
Wow.
With the price of wood.
The price of wood looks like come rocket coin.
Shooting up, it looks like a global warming graph. Have you not, are you not aware of the price of wood looks like com rocket coin shooting up it looks like a
global warming graph have you see have you not are you not aware of the price
of lumber these days I'm not a lot lumber in bulk later to be two by four is
sitting in your garage you're sitting on a fucking gold mine right now you
see those you see a little red toyotas driving down the freeway with boards
strapped on to the top of the hood
You're looking at the richest man in LA drive down the street worth more than the truck fucking lumber
Wow, I said well, can you build it out of anything else like I don't know both semen because that's less expensive than lumber
Yeah, Jesus Christ and you know what's now you know what's the worst part about it? Is not the extra, okay.
I guess that's what it's cost.
Fine, an extra, how much today?
How much extra is it today?
The worst part is, then going online,
getting it sent to you that the price of lumber is so much
and having shit heads go, hey, dick, here's that inflation. Looks
like you were wrong about, looks like you were wrong about there not being inflation. Look
at this right there, lumber right there costs $500 to build a deck, try $3,500 to build a
deck. There's that inflation you're always talking, it's inflation. Is that what that
is? Is that what that is? The price of lumber adding a fucking zero onto it.
That's inflation to you.
Just once.
Once that would like someone to be strict about
the what a word means.
One time.
One time.
I think it identifies as inflation.
So that's what we're gonna call it.
I think a lot of it has to do with how,
because I think we get a lot of lumber from Canada.
You know, it has to do with like our trade and stuff like that,
depending on how much jammed up.
Yeah, how much we,
COVID related, fuck, COVID related.
I wonder how much you caused.
What are how much it has skyrocketed lately?
Did you bother to like look at it
to see if it was like, you know, two years ago,
how much it was?
No, no, no, no, no, no, this is weeks we're talking about.
This is like in the last couple of weeks,
Pachaa, straight to the fuck, this is like,
hey, what a great time to build a deck, weeks, Pacha. Straight to the fuck, this is like, hey,
what a great time to build a deck.
Me, what a great time to fix my deck.
Next day, price of lumber is through the fucking roof.
Because of one guy's decision to build a deck.
Jesus.
And Burning Man is canceled.
Oh really?
Do I even need to get everybody, throw your head back and laugh at my misfortune of having Burning Man is canceled. Oh really? Why even need to get everybody, throw your head back in laugh at my misfortune of having
Burning Man canceled twice in a row.
Oh God.
Twice in a row.
CDC comes out.
You don't have to wear a mask outside.
Man, you don't have to wear a mask outside anymore because you never did, because it seems
like a liability, like they're worried about.
It always comes down to lawyers and money, doesn't it?
Who is gonna sue, you can sue people
for going out in the desert?
That's not real.
No, I, yeah.
These motherfuckers,
these motherfuckers,
it's, and the response,
what makes me sick about it,
is their response.
People coming out on mass.
Oh, well, it's really, it sucks,
but it's the best thing you could have done.
It sucks, but you know, it's the best thing.
It sucks what it's the best thing is,
like you fucking frauds, you liars, you were the ones.
You just didn't wanna have to make the hard decision
of staying home or going to a place of imaginary fear.
I think there's some truth to that.
Somebody made it for you,
and you put that line of thinking and decision-making into everything else you do. to a place of imaginary fear. I think there's some truth to that. I think there's some truth to that. Yeah.
And you put that line of thinking and decision making
and everything else you do.
I think I'm stuck in rowing everybody else's lives
with it.
I think there's some truth to that.
Which part?
The part about it's easier to have someone else make
the decision for you.
Love it.
So you can pretend that you really wanted to go.
It's like, oh, what a bummer.
But, you know, I see that.
It's the right thing to do.
It's really, really thing is the hard call. Yeah. Yeah. That's too bad. Let's
you go. And here's, and here's the worst part. Here is the best part. Yeah. That the organization
or whatever their name, the Burning Man organization people become super corporate now. How's it,
I mean, it's been around long enough and it's popular enough. how could it not be to some extent? Is not what is ruining it. What's ruining it is the people who want to go
to observe the experience and not take part in it.
I have a eye.
That makes sense.
I am a drug enjoyer, okay?
And there are people who want to watch people
wig out and want an in need excuses to do crazy things.
I do crazy things all the time.
That's the difference.
I go there because it's a crazy place to do
with a safe environment.
I don't go there too.
Oh god, I'm so silly.
I'm gonna show my tits to everybody.
I show my tits at home.
It's a little, it's hipster neighborhoods.
They want to live near ethnic people, but not right there.
They feel about, I mean, like, people who have their cameras, yeah, they don't want to
live in boil heights or, or, or, like, East LA, or Lincoln Heights, or El Serrino, but
they want it, you know, the, the real East LA neighborhoods, but they, they want to live
in Echo Park, Silver Lake, they want to live in Sesame Street, 2020.
And so it's like Sesame Street in the 19th.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The best part is that the Oregon, the Oregon, when people in charge, the fuck, the fuck
heads in charge of this thing put out a sale where they were selling reservations
to buy tickets at either it's going to be this year or whenever you can buy a reservation
to buy a ticket.
Hold your face up for like 10 grand a pop.
And I fucking know that they did that to make sure they could have enough money to skip
the event this year, right?
Which is fine, which is fine.
But it means that if they didn't have enough money, they would have had the event this year right which is fine which is fine but it means that if they
didn't have enough money they would have had the event so there's absolutely there's absolutely
no integrity involved at any point it's purely a cash decision yeah it makes sense
oh fucking that's such fucking scumbags as if I never thought I would think I would never
thought I would see them do anything more
disgusting than their constant,
cloying, their constant,
cloying invitations to exploit minorities
as part of their diversity outreach shit.
Every fucking year,
God, we gotta make this place safe for diversity.
We gotta make this place for safe for diversity.
Then give shit away then.
How about that? Maybe there's not as, maybe, maybe, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, uh, maybe, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, uh, look to your left, look to your right, at your latte slugging San Francisco,
San Jose startup culture?
You see a lot of bipox shit there happening?
Or is it just a bunch of woke white idiots?
Yeah, that.
Quit your job then.
Quit your job.
You want it to be more diverse?
Quit your fucking job.
Quit up, quit your job, go for it.
Be a starving artist. up, quit your job. Go for it.
Be a starving artist.
Oh, you frauds.
What else was I?
I'm not even to my notes yet.
Warren Buffett.
Warren Buffett's partner decided to chime in on Bitcoin.
cryptocurrency, monger.
You know that guy?
Monger, only by name.
Monger.
This is his statement on Bitcoin.
I don't welcome currency that is so useful to kidnappers and extortionists.
That's not loaded at all.
No, no, no, the US dollar has never been involved in any kind of, because it's so, it's
just a bunch of reams of paper
that people are moving around.
Kukidnappers legendarily threw out in history.
No, and history.
No, and history exploited the dollar
for such nefarious purposes.
Untraceable pieces of paper
that you can swap for anything at any moment
in any illegal market in the fucking world
that the Saudis have printed so much of,
we don't know if any of it is real anymore.
Just notice legal tender for all debt-soed public and private.
That's what kidnapses and extortionists need is a permanent tracking of everything that
they're doing that will eventually be tied to a terminal to exchange their invisible
cat, their invisible traceable cat for fucking, for, in for
paper.
That can just be burned or exchanged at a moment.
Yes, it seems like you use for hundreds of years.
Yes, yes, yes.
Fucking liars, these fucking liars.
Yeah.
Well, you know, me, I'm just anti, I'm anti kidnapping.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just me.
What a brave stance.
That's just fucking me. That's so brave. Me and Buffett over here, we, we generally support the estate tax so that when farmers
die, the families immediately have to pay exorbitant estate taxes and have to sell the farm
to guys like us and Bill Gates, we support that shit, but it eat like kidnapping. No, no,
we are a company. That's a big issue.
Our best contractor with the military,
but we're not involved in any kind of,
any kind of currency that could be used.
I hope that Warren Buffett chokes to death
on one of his sausage McMuffins,
his daily sausage McMuffins,
to see you to sausage McMuffin every day.
Oh, in every article, every article
about the fucking Oracle of Omaha. Oh, I drive to work in a I
drive to work in a car made out of the American dream and I eat I eat a sausage McMuffin or an
egg McMuffin in a coffee from McDonald's every day. And I know which one it's gonna be because my
wife will put an extra 25 cents out of my this is real. You know a lot about Warren Buffett.
an extra 25 cents out. And this is real.
You know a lot about Warren Buffett.
John, I do.
Yeah, I know because I hate him.
I know, I was just gonna say that.
Yeah, it's the whole, you know,
the average, the average,
listen, you know, the average fan of Howard Stern
listens to Rex amount, the average hater,
it listens for three times as long.
What a genius who couldn't make more than the index
over the last 10 years.
Oh, please tell me more about investing more in Buffett
What's your track record been over? Oh my god. It's so hard to invest properly when your entire company is an insurance in which by the way
Exists only to fuck injured people out of money. That's your business model. So fuck you
So hard to make money with I have a when I have a trillion dollars of insurance float just sitting around and
cash.
So boy.
Yep.
Okay.
Bonus episode is up.
Yeah.
Woman, Thal cigarettes.
Yeah.
Woman, Thal cigarettes.
When is the FDA?
They're, well, I mean, they're talking about when are they gonna ban it? Cause they're basically gonna ban it.
They're like, well, it's the last flavored cigarette, right?
Menthol?
Yeah.
Is that what they said?
Is that why they said?
I think so.
I think so.
Yeah, well, and it's black people.
It disproportionately, if that, yeah.
It's like, that's the, man, you talk about the nanny state.
Like, it's nobody can make, you can't make a decision like on what you puts. So take away, take away McDonald's white people need to
band together and smoke menthols in solidarity with our black brothers and sisters to get these,
to get these, yeah, they're discursive back on, to get these numbers back in the red or green
or whatever white. Yeah, get these numbers back in the white.
Yeah, you can't even see them.
Don't put on different background.
Every today, my Mexican and white brothers and sisters, you've got to go out and buy
a pack of new ports.
We've got to crank up our cancer numbers to save and cools and camel crushes.
If you can find them, we've got to pump up our numbers to save our,
to save these menthol cigarettes from our black brothers and sisters.
It's hands across America, cools across America day.
We're at, band, they can't be running ads like this either.
We talked about that on the bonus episode as well as Maddox's cartel Maddox's, Benanna Dox's stories fantastically made up.
Yeah, it sounds like he was almost abducted
by the cartel multiple times.
He kept everywhere he went in Mexico.
He was like, oh shit, this is a cartel place.
What is this deal?
What's the cartel?
Up in the hills, the rich people in cartel live up here.
Oh Jesus, I'm not going, these tacos
made by the cartel.
They're going to get me.
It's stuff, stuff me full of cocaine and throw me in the cart.. Oh, Christ. They're gonna get me.
What am I doing?
Stuff me full of cocaine and throw me in the garb.
Like, what is the thinking?
If I fuck this chick, she's gonna be cartel
and kill me in the bedroom.
That's good shit.
I had to, we watched those stories
with anodoxes telling again last night.
Really? Yeah.
Cause they're so ridiculous.
They're insane.
Like, he meant fat girl at a club.
They went back to a house and ate popsicles together.
Right.
And then he went home, right?
And then it's like, he's trying to insert in
that he there was a banging or a hookup in some way
but it wasn't.
Right.
And as I was rewatching it,
I realized that we've ruined banana docks for him.
Because now banana docks is a liar.
Yeah.
Now, because now banana docks laughs uncomfortably and lies to make Maddox look good.
Yeah.
And before he would tell the truth about Maddox.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, he ruined it.
Damn it.
I think we did that.
We definitely did it.
Because now he knows it.
Now he knows we're watching.
Well, he probably knew the first time we watched.
We were, you know, probably during the show, you knew we were watching. The car tells.
Yeah.
Out of control.
He thinks Mexico, the car tell.
Like you're their best customer.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Why would they kill a customer?
That's not, no, and it's, it's like rock police.
It's rival gang.
It's terrible for business.
Yeah.
It's terrible.
They, who wants that kind of heat?
Well, it's like, you're a drug, you're an American drug user. Even the mafia is like killing cops, killing's terrible. They, who wants that kind of heat? Well, it's like, you're an American drug user.
Even the Bofia is like killing cops,
killing law enforcement, killing feds, brings a lot of heat.
We don't wanna do that.
Oh no, the cartel.
Yeah.
But what are you talking about, the cartel?
You're not trying to, you're not a cartel.
Yeah, what are you so worried about?
Just trying to exaggerate.
Well, that's it.
You will. I think people in NLA don't understand that too.
Yeah.
Like gangs who are worn with each other
don't want to involve you and me.
No, that's bad for them.
You're a civilian.
I'm a customer.
Yeah, it's like, yeah.
They only exist because the guys like me, all right? Who, I go into the cartel and I'm like, who Yeah, it's like, yeah. They only exist because of guys like me.
All right?
Who, I go into the car and tell them,
I'm like, who pays your salaries, sir?
I demand to have some satisfaction.
I demand to have an eight ball over here.
Talk to your manager.
Let me talk to your manager.
Sir, you see those Gucci shoes,
those Gucci flip flops you're wearing by your pool?
Who do you think paid for at least one piece
of Spanish tile there?
Me.
So I'd like some respect yeah
The dog is eating notes dog the dogs eating notes no man. Here's what makes me rage okay
Every time 80 scrolls goes to the park with the dog she comes back with some douche bags business card
with some douchebag's business card. Hahaha.
Really?
I don't even want to show the one that she brought back today.
It's like, she tells me she's like, oh god, you're never going to believe this.
This guy is at the dog parlor.
He's like, oh, you know, my wife and I live right up the street.
She bring a dog all of her some time.
And I'm like, that's my fucking, I invented that move.
Right.
That's way too late.
Oh, he gave me a business card.
And it's just like a headshot
with an, I was expecting Patrick Bateman at least,
like, name, this is where I work.
Yeah.
I was gonna go like, okay, let's see what he does.
This will be funny.
And it's just a fucking,
like, it looks like a Tinder profile
with a, it just has his name and a number.
Look what the fuck.
What the fuck?
Kind of business card is this.
Jesus.
That's insane.
I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna get it out, but,
dude, we should give him,
I'm addicts to run for governor.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, what do you think about that?
Man, he like 7,000 signatures.
You put him on the ballot.
Man, no, I mean, that's phenomenal.
But he would think it would be great.
You know, what if he has, I don't think he has a choice.
I think we could just get him,
if we get 7,000 signatures beyond the ballot.
Yeah.
What he's gonna, yeah.
All right, yeah, I mean, sure.
I don't know, maybe there's a guy out there who does this.
Put you down for a sec. Yeah, I'm in. Oh,'t know, maybe there's a guy out there who needs this. Put you down for a sec.
I'm in.
By the way, did you happen to see that Newsom's getting recalled?
Yeah, there's enough signatures.
Yeah.
Here's an update on what's happening in California.
65,000 prisoners are being released.
Yeah.
Did you know about that?
I haven't looked into it.
Oh, you haven't looked into it?
No, I haven't.
What do you expect to find if you were to look into it?
And it's like, oh, well, I don't know.
I bet they're probably all, probably all like drugs,
crimes, weed crimes, stuff like that.
No, that would be, let's see here.
That's, yeah, yeah, 63,000 violent felons.
And our being released in order to create quote, quote, safer prisons.
Well, that'll do it.
Yeah, more dangerous neighborhoods.
We had a problem.
Our prisons were our prisons were overrun with a violent felons.
Yeah, and so we looked at the data.
Right, and the data said,
if we get the most violent out of prison.
Out of prison.
Prison will run, it'll just be a better experience
for everyone.
For the prisoners.
Good, good.
We got a guy in here that murdered a hundred people.
You think, what do you think he's going to do in a population of criminals?
More violence.
Probably.
So we're getting out of here as quick as we can.
Geez.
We'll say for prisons probably for the guards.
I mean, we don't want to.
Oh, yeah.
I hope that that's what it is.
Yeah, is, so there's enough signatures to recall him.
The goal is to increase incentives for the incarcerated population to practice
good behavior and follow the rules while serving their time and participate in rehabilitative
and educational programs, which will lead to, which will lead to safer prisons.
Okay.
Additionally, they're going to let him out.
So he's getting recalled.
Um, here's a little funny part of the, uh, I thought, I thought this was funny.
I don't know, it's in a vacuum that they found,
they determined that 20% of the recall signatures were invalid.
Really?
Yeah, isn't that, I don't know, maybe that's just,
that's just how like signatures work.
Maybe for whatever reason, the person couldn't sign correctly,
or maybe they just says invalid.
I don't know, 20% were kicked out,
I still got recalled, but 20% were,
I thought it was interesting because I remember
when the election was, it was only 1%
was kicked out as invalid.
I don't know if I'll look into that.
So I guess there was a lot of more cheating on, I don't know, I've been trying to figure it
out since I learned about it.
I guess there was just so much more incentive to be fake signing things or maybe the government
looked at the one a little bit more.
I just want to know, you know, I like to know how the 1% happened and the 20% happened.
Well, I think it's the state. Yeah. The 20% happened. Well, I think it's the state.
Yeah, the state kicked out 1%,
but I think it's an election.
Yeah, but I think it's the state of,
especially in the unions directly,
like he's very beholden to the teachers union
and the nurses union.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They managed to find a lot of bum signatures
on the recall, as all I'm saying.
Yeah, we can let those guys look at the election ones.
I mean, I know biting one, right?
I just want to know, maybe I just want to know
for my own benefit.
Sure, maybe those felons could go give a look
and see if they maybe miss the couple of bad signatures.
I don't know, what am I gonna work?
What am I gonna do? what I'm going to work.
I'm going to work.
Yeah, I'm going to work with that.
I wonder who's going to be, I mean, if you get the last guy to get recalled in California
was of course, great Davis, Schwarzenegger, Schwarzenegger. Yeah, yeah.
Exactly. So, Kaelin Jenner's going to win. That would be, she's got it all. She's got
style, beauty, brains. Right. She's got the brains of a's got style, beauty, brains.
She's got the brains of a man and the looks of a man and the driving of a woman.
Yeah.
I saw some stupid blue check asshole on Twitter say on her vanity fair thing.
I was like, oh gosh, she's so stunning and amazing.
What the, come on.
That was way back.
That was way back, right? And then it was, he's so stunning and amazing. What the, come on. That was way back, that was way back, right? Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
And then it was, don't have to go over board.
Next one was, Caitlin Jenner says, born boys shouldn't be allowed to play girl sports.
And then that same guy, the blue check goes, I don't think we've talked enough about how
Caitlin Jenner killed somebody in her driver like immediately, like, ah, you fucking idiot,
fuck you.
Yeah. I'll look for, I'll do her knock for her.
Really?
I will go to the trumpest, trump house,
and get right in their fucking face.
Yeah.
Say, hey, what are you uncomfortable?
Are you uncomfortable about voting for a beautiful woman,
governor?
You know, I can't-
Like I'm gonna do?
I could probably give her a call.
You know, I did play golf with her 25 years ago.
I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure she would remember.
You're not thinking of sitting this one out, are you?
You're not thinking of not giving me Madam Governor, Caitlin Jenner, are you?
Yeah.
Because that's what we're doing.
Yeah.
We're all in this.
We're all in this for governor, Caitlin Jenner.
Let's do it. Let's do it. We're all in this for Governor, Kaelin Jenner.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Because that, my friends, will be hilarious.
Or maybe Brown will come back for a fourth term.
Let's see what else.
Makes me rage.
Oh yeah.
Oh, Jeopardy Guy.
Jeopardy Guy, go.
Real mess. Jeopardy guy's flashing
white power on Jeopardy. Oh, no. Yeah. Can you imagine that? White power Jeopardy? Yeah,
thank God Alex Trebek is dead. So we just have to see this. Geez. Guy goes all the way.
Goes all the way to Jeopardy. Let me, I didn't save the, where's the link? There it is. It's
hard to see. Guy, guy, guy makes it his dream to go all the way to Jeopardy.
And he shows up, he wins three Jeopardies.
And on the show where he's won three Jeopardies,
he flashes a white supremacist symbol with his hands.
Sean, was it, no, was it,
are you sure it wasn't a white supremacist symbol?
It was a white supremacist symbol.
Yeah.
That he's flashed.
That I don't want to,
I don't know if I should do this on the show
because I don't want to get,
he canceled my stuff.
The okay, no, no, no, this is white power.
Oh boy.
See, this is a W.
Yeah.
Right.
And this is P from power.
Yeah.
Did I have that right?
Is this the circle game?
Not the circle game either.
No.
And it also does not mean I've won three.
He did do before when he won one, he did one.
Yeah.
And then he did two, he did two.
But then he happened to.
And then he decided to flash a white power.
Right.
World War Three, the race war.
Yeah.
We're taking your menthols and then we're taking your freedom.
Yeah.
It was what he was assembling.
Okay.
So all the genius, all the former genius jeopardy people got together and signed a petition
against hatred against this poor guy.
Wow.
Man, it's insane.
Oh, what's insane about this?
This is hundreds of four.
Look at, look, these are all the people that signed it. Hundreds.
This, do you remember when this happened?
It was kids playing, it was like at a college
or something, kids were playing the circle game.
Hundreds. Yeah.
Yeah, go ahead.
It's basically what happened.
And it was like, first thing,
condemning, oh, it's a bunch of kids,
like flash and white power signs
and check out, there's some college sport or something like that.
Obviously.
It came out, you know, it's like,
no, they were playing the fucking circle game.
Like, give me a fucking break and then everybody's like,
oh yeah, maybe that was, you know, maybe they weren't,
maybe they were just, you know, doing shit that kids do.
Yeah, it wasn't a good come man.
I, his statement, I'm truly horrified
with what has been posted about me on social media.
I'm, I'm, can you, like, you know how badly?
How stupid do you think he would have to be
to actually flash the white power on Jeopardy?
That's what I mean.
Let me just, let me just commit like,
oh, effective suicide.
Yeah.
Let me make myself like unemployable and like a pariah amongst
my friends and family. Honey, check this
out. Just couldn't contain it. I guess
it's like the South Park Nagger's
episode. Yeah. I'm truly horrified
with what has been posted about me on
social media. I absolutely, unequivocally
can damn why he even feels like he has to say this.
And how is it it sad?
It's sad.
It's just sad.
The people who want to go on Jeopardy,
want their whole life.
Yeah.
It's like, it's like getting married for them
and getting divorced in one event.
Like the same, the excitement for both of those things.
It's so important that they sit and they study those stupid books all day.
Yeah.
For not only dumbed up midwits, I can understand,
vilifying the sky, because they're dumb, you know, they just react.
But for former jeopardy people to get together and sign this position,
a petition is fucking sickening.
Yeah, it is. And one of I knew right away this UCB bitch was on Jeopardy.
I loaded up the petition to see if she signed it.
Leslie Tsina, sure enough.
Yeah.
Right, right, because they all publicly signed their names.
They're so confident in being part of a witch hunt
to just kind of ruin one guy's memory
of what would have been one of the happiest times in his life,
like affect achieving nothing by doing so,
other than ruining his joy and gaining either very little
for themselves or perhaps costing themselves.
Because more, it's crazy because like, of course,
like they know exactly what's in his head and in his heart.
You know, yeah, I mean, just, know exactly what's in his head and in his heart.
Yeah, I mean, it just bugs me the most about it.
We're fucked.
We're fucked with these people around.
Yeah.
Every single one of them deserves to hit a daily double and lose.
They're better at all and lose.
They're fucking dangerous.
They're true daily double.
Yeah.
I don't know, we can't escape them.
Elon Musk is going to be on, sorry, night live.
Oh, oh, yeah, I'm sure.
I'm looking forward to killing myself.
Someone sends me, if someone wants to talk to me about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, real life.
I'm going to have, I'm going to walk around like this with my hands clenched in fists
and all those to my shoulders.
And if anyone of my family mentions SNL, I'm just going to start extending
my hands, right? But I want to be coiled so that I don't have time to think about it.
Yeah.
If I'm loose, they're going to say, you'll raise your feet.
You'll see a lot on Musk talking about. And I'll have to, you know, I'll think about
it. I'll think, think myself out of it. But if I go home, if I go to my family like
this, hands clenched, you're a coiled snake. Yeah, yeah.
Hey, did you see E, like that, right?
Boom!
Yeah.
Bop!
Yep.
What do you think about that?
Plan.
Well, I think you should maybe like turn your punch over a little bit.
No, I punch.
I punch like a hammer.
Uh huh.
Okay.
Like a pneumatic, yeah.
Yeah, you punch, turning it over, and getting your back muscles involved.
Well, I mean, you know, that's all.
You're supposed to turn it over, turn your,
it's a little twist at the end of a.
Now, this is a fighting style I've developed.
Based on, yeah, like, remember how they used to fight
like that, and they said, well, that's inefficient.
You gotta get down like this, and put your hands,
you can't fight like 30 style, put up your dukes.
Right. Then somebody was like, man, I'm gonna turn my 30 style, put up your dukes. Right.
Then somebody was like, man, I'm gonna turn my hands over.
And then I can block my face and punch.
I stand straight up, I've revolutionized.
What's it in?
Well, you don't stand like that.
I stand like this.
No, I mean, you don't stand with it turned over.
Well, you can, I kind of stand like this.
Well, you gotta be able to block your body too.
You're, that's a liver shot on the right side.
That's bad.
My liver, I don't need to block that.
It's been taking storage.
You want to get me drunk, go ahead, hit that liver.
Give me some kind of super strength.
So you've never seen before.
Okay, we cannot stand up for hate.
We cannot stand next to hate.
Oh yeah, this is the petition that they signed.
Okay, stand back for this one.
We cannot stand up for hate.
I think that's pretty squat for hate everyone.
We cannot stand for hate.
These are our best and brightest minds on jeopardy.
Oh God.
We cannot stand up for hate.
Yeah.
I think pretty much everyone is.
Well, I mean, I don't know.
Ah, fuck.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe that's, yeah.
We cannot stand next to hate.
Yeah.
Okay.
We cannot stand under hate.
Would you, could you have a plan? Would you hate in a box? Right. Would you, could you in a plan?
Would you hate in a box?
Right.
Would you hate on top of this fox?
Right.
In socks?
Would you hate these spiggles and locks?
Because if you do, you're anti-Semitic, Mr. Fox.
Right.
We cannot stand on stage with something that looks like hate.
Oh God.
Okay.
Oh, amazing, amazing response from the autism community. We are ashamed
to be associated with brands and identities that suffer the taint. There's a joke.
There's a joke. There's a joke. There's a joke. There's a nerd, that suffer the taint, the taint of hateful statements and actions,
particularly if they go unchallenged by those,
this is a guy flashing three
because he won three jeopardies.
Yeah, yeah, cool.
Cause he didn't do it with the,
like, two man, they won the virus part two.
They would have said the same thing,
like, they would have said the same thing
no matter how he put three,
you can't put
three fingers up. Now you could do it like, well, that's in the other way. You have a
stack of DLT more. I guess, but I mean, you know, this is might be the same. This is how
I do it after watching the glorious bastards only. Yeah. I don't want to get caught with
my pants down. Yeah. If I'm in some kind of a spy situation. Yeah.
Everyone orders, trying beer. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember when he orders, throwing beer in?
Yeah, that's true, huh?
It's like, actually, if you were German,
you would have held your fingers like this.
Yeah.
It's like, ah, come on, man.
Yeah.
Get off my, why don't you get off my ass?
Trying to impress this chick, I know that's why.
Oh, shit.
Anyway.
Burning Man canceled you.
You know kids are gonna have in the future,
20 years from now
Children will have dreams that they didn't wear their mask that they're at high school or school and they don't have their mask
Oh instead of
pants or instead yeah forgetting their locker combination. Yeah, yeah, this is gonna be they're gonna go to their therapist
Yeah, you're gonna go to their only fans slash girlfriend slash their appointment and talk about their dreams
of going to school.
Their girlfriend slash therapist.
Yeah, that'll be like okay to do.
Their PP their paper, paper exchange their PPE girlfriend slash therapist at the only
fans, um, doc only fans slash Amazon.
That's great.
And I'm going to say honey, and it's going to be a different I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, typing in a screen. That's funny. The loop. Who's we living home?
Seeing these, there's a dog park that I mentioned near our house.
Oh yeah.
And there's a kid park.
Like there's a lot, there's a wall down the middle, like for kids.
And there's a kid's on the other side.
My Berlin.
Yeah.
And they're all wearing masks.
Yeah.
And their parents are there watching them wear masks.
Yeah. Like, what the fuck are there watching them wear masks. Yeah.
Like, what the fuck are you guys doing?
It's time to stop putting your fears onto the kids.
It's just so far.
I cannot.
I can't.
I think that with enough, I think that with the right ad,
you could convince them just to kill their kid.
Right?
Like, well, I'm sorry, but one of you,
you got 20 kids in this park? One of them's got a diet. Yeah. So up to you, well, let you talk it out.
I'll give you full control over which kid it is. Yeah. It's got to, it's just got to go.
Right. It's not of swings. Right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're already in. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, says, no, I just typed it in the computer. Did you read the contract entirely or did you just click agree?
We had a sign.
Yeah.
It was there.
Maximum 19 goods.
You missed the asterisk.
It said 20 when I got here.
Wow.
Said you agree at any time for any kind of, oh God.
I do stand up for hate, I guess.
It's that's what we're, it's not like we're basing it in I guess, if that's what we're.
It's not like we're basing it in the right things.
That's what's important.
Let's see here.
Oh, judicial watch.
Is there such a chicken shortage?
Did I talk about that already?
I heard something.
No, you did not talk about that.
I heard Sean, we got band menthols and chicken shortage.
Oh boy.
Just saying, got to watch out for these signs.
It's all over.
It's all over, but the riots all over.
Oh, boy, cops.
It's not.
Why is there a chicken shortage?
COVID.
Yeah.
Yeah, because it turns out you can't just shut down huge industries and gum them up arbitrarily
or have them function like a year later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is they fucked them all up.
Yeah, that's why.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll take years for everything to get back
and check it out.
If it ever fucking dies, that's what.
Maybe inflation did it.
Good thing chickens my least favorite meat.
No, turkey's my least favorite meat, but the,
but it's like poultry.
I will take beef for, beef for pork over poultry.
Oh, will you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man, they're going, they're going to go after beef.
Oh, man, they can turn that off too.
They turn off chicken.
They turned off chicken.
Don't touch the beef.
They're going to turn that shit off.
I'm telling you, turn that, they're going to turn that shit off.
Don't fuck up my steak.
All right, you better be ready to draw down.
I'm ready.
Okay.
I'm ready.
Don't you fuck with my beef.
They will.
Fuck with your beef.
What time is it?
Oh, my God.
1240 already.
Do you have a collar or anything?
Yeah, we got collars.
We got collars.
Washing your underwear.
All right.
So you know something about washing your dad's underwear.
I've got a stance for you.
One in three people in the UK only wash their bed sheets once a year.
Uh-huh.
That's gross. What do you mean, uh-huh?
Well, I mean, nothing like that surprises me.
Really?
Yeah.
One in three people, that's a disgusting aspect of those sheets.
Oh, well, that, that's much surprise of me. I think one in three people listening to this show doesn aspect of those sheets. Well, that, that's much surprising.
You think one in three people listening to this show
doesn't wash their sheets, but once a year.
I think two out of three people listening to this show
don't wash their bed sheets, but once a year.
No, actually, that's a surprising amount.
I will say.
A habit which experts say,
oh, experts say can lead to bacteria buildups.
Itchy skin.
Yeah, well there's mites.
Yeah, there's mites that fucking everywhere.
Experts, do we need to tap into the expert field for that?
Not really.
Everybody knows, everybody knows there's a bunch of dead skin
and fucking dust mites in your mattress.
I promise you they don't.
I promise you, you will get the blankets, dumbest look ever.
If you went up to three people on the street
and said, you know, there's dead skin in your mad,
one of them will not know it.
What?
What do you mean, dead skin?
There's dead skin, fucking everywhere.
36% only wash blankets once a year,
18% only wash their jeans annually.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's disgusting.
And how do they know they're like right on a year too?
Like yeah, I wash it once a year.
It's like you're obviously not keeping track of anything.
That's true.
Do they have like a calendar?
I was saying it's like, oh, it's a January first.
Now it's time to wash my genes for the year.
Yep, good all year.
Towels, 40% of people wash these after each use.
Well, that's a bit much.
Yeah.
45% after five uses.
Let's see, there's an underwear one here.
When it comes to underwear, 80% wash them everywhere.
A quarter of people wash their underwear after five washes. A quarter of men wash their underwear after five washes.
A quarter of men wash their underwear after every five.
That's terrible, great.
Admitted to wash of uses.
I mean, yeah, nice fucking writing.
A 13% of women, oh my God.
Dude, every fucking day I wear underwear,
they go in the hand, you're a pair of heat.
I'm kidding me, I'm not wearing fucking underwear. Multiple times, they go in the hand. I'm underwear. Kidding me, I'm not wearing fucking underwear multiple times
or multiple days in a row.
I hold, these are my underwear for the week.
I'm disgusting.
What does their underwear look like?
Just two pairs of underwears?
Yeah.
I wash these and hang them out to try.
They wear their underwears like that quarterlies, you know?
Like that's first quarter underwear.
See man, that's a good thing about shitting your pants is it
for makes the choice for you.
Yeah.
Sometimes sometimes after a particularly
hellacious fart.
I will like, no, no, this is I'm sure that's right.
I know nothing happened, but we both need some alone time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to feel these and be reminded of that.
Right.
If I have to move off the couch to fire it, then it's time to change the
underpants.
If you have to move off the couch to fire, then it's time to change the underpants. If you have to move off the couch.
Yeah, exactly.
Worryingly once you just not take your,
you know, you're rolling the dice a little bit sometimes.
One in 10 men claim to wash their underwear
after every 10 wears compared to just 3%
3% of women wearing, oh my God.
And you know, do we even know they're the fat ones?
Or they just are the hot ones too?
I don't know.
Disgusting, they're the gross ones.
They are the, that's gross as shit.
I get this signature's page out of there.
You people make me sick.
Let's see here.
Ah.
Hey Dick, you saved me from killing my passion from Dino.
Hey, Dick and Sean, I just wanted to thank you both for some advice you gave on a recent
episode.
A couple of weeks ago, you and Sean said that making a career out of your passion was a terrible
idea, terrible.
Most people's passions aren't the best paying jobs.
And that you're better off looking for a job that pays well that you can at least tolerate.
After a few days of painful realizations
and soul-searching,
I realized that trying to turn my love for art
into an endless grind for a mediocre wage
was just mental torture.
But also that I'm already fairly qualified
for a slew of decent positions in business and finance.
Yeah.
The finance man.
I'm going to shadow some of my family members
who work in those sectors.
And they both agree that the work is something
I'm capable of doing.
Even the shittier parts seem like something
I wouldn't have much issue learning to deal with
given a reasonable amount of time.
Thanks again for your harsh truths, freed me from the
agonizing pressure I had to put on myself
that in all likelihood would have ruined the things
I'm most passionate about.
Warm regards to you both and many smooches to Sean, do you know?
All right, we did it.
One dream at a time, Sean.
Killing one dream at a time.
Wife him out.
Get a job.
Right.
Yeah.
Welcome to the Dixho.
Get a job.
Yeah, you really get to, it's easy to, even if you do it, say you take your passion and you
turn it into a career.
Yeah.
It's very easy to become disillusioned with it.
40, by the way, not, you know,
when we, not even when we started.
Yeah.
My love talk radio, it's 16.
Oh yeah.
Oh good.
Yeah.
I'd be different person.
I would be broke during the show.
I would be, I don't know.
I have nothing but failure. Yeah. I would be, I don't know. I don't have, experience nothing but failure
until it finally did catch on.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You got to, you think things through.
Whatever the idiot, whatever TV tells you to do,
do the opposite.
That's a good way to, because TV was written
by people who are mentally ill,
and they only want to make other people mentally ill.
Suicide by train, personal anecdotal story.
Hello, Dick and Sean, excuse my English
for I am from Sevedin.
First time I tried suicide by train.
Perhaps.
I glanced at this, I think.
My grandma was ran over a train in the 50s.
Ran over that song.
Yeah.
My grandma was run over by train in the 50s.
Drunken Lord from trying to board a moving train. He says. Yeah, so was run over by a train of the 50s. Drunken Lord from trying to board a moving train.
He says, yeah, not a tarded.
And I know, but from what she told me back then,
they were really serious about driving out the train.
Wait, wait, wait, she told me?
Sounds retarded, I know, but from what she told me,
back then they were really serious about driving out
the trains from the station at the exact, exactly the time.
Yeah, it was supposed to go.
Yeah, there was a guy in Europe
who was really ships to like ocean liners
about trains being on time.
You remember that guy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right.
Yeah, the trains ran on time.
He was going to trains, he put people on trains,
just, he was like,
they didn't want to go.
He was obsessed with trains. He was obsessed to trains. He put people on trains just, he was obsessed with trains.
He was obsessed with trains. I don't know anything else in case you don't know who we're talking about.
It's Winston Churchill. If they were late, you could still, you could still board it since it moved
slow at the station, jump onto the train and entered the carts. My grandma failed doing this and slipped off
and the train ran over one of her legs.
Oh, God.
Yeah, well,
heesh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
So I believe that Sean's idea of suicide by train
would work no matter how slow it wins.
If you position your neck on the tracks.
Yeah. Yeah, that's what you had in mind If you position your neck on the track. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what you had in mind.
Well, your neck on like a guillotine.
You wanna jump in front of it, like a cowboy.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
Yeah, it will work.
Because if several tons train would still
decavitate.
Several tons is understating it quite a bit.
Give it a take.
Also, if you want, I could write another letter
about my short stay in Swedish jail.
Oh yeah.
Sure. Do that.
People always ask me that, oh, should I write you
an email about this?
I'm like, I don't know, man.
Kind of depends if you're good at writing an email.
Yeah, true.
Not.
Cabal.
Is that, did I say that?
Yeah, okay.
That's his Yeah. Okay.
That's his name.
Okay.
Mecca Clandzilla says, Vets and shit.
Hey, Dickenshawne, are you guys aware that pretty much every veterinary clinic in the
country is owned by the Mars candy company?
I actually looked into this.
That's not even close to true.
What do you mean?
They own about 9%.
Oh.
Of the, of the, of the veterinary market.
So it's a lot. Uh, I would have said market. So it's a lot.
I would have said zero, so that's a lot.
But to say pretty much is pretty much every is nowhere near reality.
But it's much everyone that's seen a little bit.
Yeah.
Great business model because who isn't going to cure their hamster of two diseases?
It doesn't even have before they finally figure out the one it does.
Oh, they're overcharging you.
Your heart's in the right place, but you're,
but yes, corporate ownership of vets and vets chains,
is an increasing thing.
Mm-hmm.
I think they think, well,
like I, because I looked into this a little bit,
didn't spend a whole lot of time on it,
but I think by,
did you debunk it?
Is that what you were trying to do?
Yeah, I debunked that statement.
Yes.
Okay.
What did you find?
Well, that they,
it's Mars owns about 9%.
But then why?
You were saying something else.
Oh, well, they were saying that it's, it is increasing like a different corporations are
buying up, you know, like, kind of, vet chains and stuff.
And they think that it'll buy like the mid 2020s,
it might be up to like 25% corporate owned.
Great.
Who aren't in, you know, who aren't in the,
didn't start in the veterinary field.
Wonderful.
Ellen was telling me from New Zealand,
was telling me this story about how she took her cat in.
And they x-rated, MRI to do something for 600 bucks.
And then they wouldn't give it back to her.
She's like, I didn't approve any kind of x-ray.
Fuck you.
Well, we're keeping your cat dead.
What?
That's what they said.
I don't know.
They do, they will to pay them off in Bitcoin.
Oh, geez.
They will pray on your, you know,
on your, well, you love your pet, right?
And they can't wait.
So it's, I don't.
Yeah.
They, they, uh, they will try that shit.
Uh, in size, some of them for Ontario high schools.
Hey, Dick, Ontario high schooler here, I am a current grade 11.
Oh, man.
They, so they actually do say grade 11 in trailer park boys.
Yeah. They always say, like, oh, you didn't get your grade 10 or I got my grade 11. Oh, that's what they actually do say grade 11 in trailer park boys. Yeah.
They always say, like, oh, you didn't get your grade 10 or I got my grade 11 and actually
do talk about that.
You remember that story we wrote about Ontario, the gay straights?
What the gay straight alliance?
Yeah.
No, isn't that the queer straight alliance?
No.
It wasn't.
It was.
You're right.
I thought you had straight alliance.
Excuse me. Right. Ontario high schooler here. I're right. I thought you had a lion's excuse me right Ontario high schooler here
I'm current learning them saying gay
I'm currently a grade 11 student and
Notice you and Sean had some questions about a situation in schools around here
I live in a wealthy suburb outside of Toronto did we have a question?
I don't know first. I personally do not know anyone in my school's gay straight alliance
Maybe it is oh He says gay.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
When it was introduced to us in grade six, we all laughed hysterically.
Right. As an ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex funny. You named it in a funny way too. I remember when I was in, when I was in 10th grade
on as a sophomore. Some of us, it's the silly club. It stands for Straits. This kid, this
kid Ron, like for whatever reason, like to, the teacher asked a question and for whatever
reason, like his answer was the NF slur. Okay., dude and I swear to you immediately Yeah, well no he's like
The answer no he was being like no no no no no no no no the kid was being funny
Okay, I thought he was being funny dude. I swear to God. I was the only one who laughed
16 this is like 20 years it like, I just laughed and I'm, I look around, I'm like,
nobody even chucked, maybe somebody chuckled, but like, I laughed just because it was like,
I couldn't believe he said it.
Uh, I don't know, man, maybe that, maybe that makes me a bad guy, but I know when I was,
you know, 15 years old, I thought that was funny.
We laughed hysterically in front of the teacher and then proceed to use it as an insult for the rest of the school. Yeah, well, you know, saying things like go to gay club or I don't think you, right?
You rip on your buddies like that.
It's like, yeah, don't you have a meeting to get to?
Yeah.
Right.
Sean was also wondering if you're seen as a bigot.
If you don't follow along, I have never seen this personally with the majority of guys not buying sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But most of my buddies are what you'd call right wing, generally believing in a free market
or miss hit or miss on abortion.
It was aesonine that that is a political issue. Has no opinion on guns or is going to buy one on their 18th birthday and being transgender
is against God.
Oh, that was his buddies' views on it.
Well, I think he was saying they're kind of all over the map, wasn't he?
When it comes to gaze, we view the ones that are like Peter Thiel as the good ones.
Okay.
You could perhaps you need the gank with a queer straight-alive.
Right, right.
The good ones.
That's such an old timey.
Oh, well, he's one of the good ones.
For context, I hang around finance bros.
Really, what a surprise.
Finance bros.
Indian Middle Eastern dudes are working class white dudes
with rich dads.
The chicks on the other hand eat this shit up.
Yeah, however, this hasn't resulted in anyone I know.
Okay, I don't know.
Getting canceled or anything or?
Yeah, for context, something about a girl.
Hope this answers your question.
Sure, yeah, I guess.
I didn't know if I-
It does.
Sounds like high school hasn't changed.
I have more information, right. Ever. Yeah, I guess I didn't know if I it does sounds like high school hasn't changed. I have more information right
ever yeah
Isaiah
Pool says the isopod thing exists already
It's in LA and ran by a white woman
The isopods of the dystopian future. We will have oh, yeah
We will we'll have hate speech laws. Check this out. If this
doesn't curdle your buns, I don't know what will. Oh, you mean like living in a, yeah, I've seen
this, I think. Yeah. It should be raised to the ground. Raised as it raised as in. Yeah, it's to see the Vikings should come in and destroy all these and anyone who
are reibing and burning and pod share Venice Beach, California.
Dude, it is hipster bunk beds in a facility that you, I suppose, pay a lifetime subscription
into.
It's an old folks home for young folks.
That's what this is.
That I presume you'll be able to pay an indefinite,
perhaps even indentured servitude till one day
where you watch ads to afford your living space
to get discounts on your living space
or buy, hey, buy your monthly subscription to a house
if you bundle it with your, with your gym subscription, yeah, just bundle the bundles,
which is just going to be where you eat.
That's what happens at the gym in the future.
If you bundle it with a subscription to Amazon pantry that delivers you a, a mulch of bugs
in a festive container every day.
It gets taco Tuesday, so your mulch of bugs comes in a buck, a happy meal that has a taco
on it.
And it's a fetichini fried, little man, little Jeff Bezos with a mustache on Fridays,
an Italian mustache.
There you go.
Buck and mulched up, shitty mulched up, bug, vegans, vegan friendly bug pizza that you dig
out with a spoon and feed yourself well.
A flower pizza.
Goddamn, that's too bad kids.
Guess you should've listened.
Thanks, Isaiah.
No stopping it now, of course.
Do-do-do.
Long time listener, first time counter-fitter.
Hey, Dick, can I get that PDF you've been talking
about in the last couple episodes? Go fuck yourself, Dave. Not from me, because the FBI
said that counterfeiting vaccine cards is a crime. Yeah. Yeah. Well, of course they're
going to be on that. Yeah. Yeah. So no, I mean, obviously you can find it online.
The L.A. Department of Health, right?
The public on their fucking website.
So there you go.
But no, I can't.
It's illegal.
But you shouldn't have a problem finding it.
I read somewhere there was 110 card stock too.
I would guess.
Coffee and collapse.
Hey, Dick, I just wanted to thank you for the coffee.
New project brew he's talking about.
The Ethiopian one is my new favorite by a mile.
Co-progressive.
Yeah.
No sugary Starbucks frills.
Just, just straight coffee.
I'm one of, I'm sure dozens of people that canceled their BRCC
orders after the written house thing.
Yeah, probably I got to, I got to promote new project,
new Project Brew more. It's good. Yeah, probably I got to promote new project, new project, new project, Brumor.
It's good.
Yeah, I haven't mentioned it much.
I don't really wouldn't give a shit about their politics,
but that one guy who hides behind the bearded one
is really just a massive con.
I'm tired of giving people money who hate me.
Side note, look at this chart, Mr. Engineer,
if you were to ask me, idiot that I am, what an imminent collapse looks
like, I'd say one in three dollars for citizens being dependent on a growing authoritarian
government would be a pretty good benchmark to look for.
Love you, Dick.
Go fuck yourself, Sean.
Let's see what this is.
So I'm sort of a chart, probably what right wing propaganda? A record, 34% of all household income in the US now comes from the government.
Following today's release of the latest personal income and spending data,
Wall Street, this is April 30th, this was published. Oh my god.
Wall Street was predictably, predictably focused.
Right now, because people aren't working, is that what they're...
Yeah, on the changes in these two key series,
which, which,
you show, my Tyler Durden.
Well, that's the zero hedge guy.
That's his, that's always been his,
is this like zero hedge is very,
does he have a slight bent or, you know what I mean?
I mean, this day is
from the government.
Right?
Might you miss a chart?
Well, you can present a bunch of stuff out of context or without the, without the, wait
a minute.
You could do that all the time because the guy's pen name is Tyler Durdon.
I mean, that's he's the guy that runs zero heads.
He raises a flag.
Uh, it should raise a flag that a third of the country is employed
by the government. That's a lot of, that's a lot of fucking household. Not employed, right?
34% of household income. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, guy rocketed, do stimulus checks, all that kind of stuff. So,
yeah, I would imagine that that percentage has gone way up.
This is insane. How the fuck are these people going to get? How, why would anyone go back
to work if they're already getting paid by the government? How are the restaurants going
to open? Because the government at some point, I hope, will stop sending out those.
Why? I don't know. They stop.
You can't stop paying your voters.
Um, oh my God.
34% amazing.
So as things open up, if I'm looking to open up my business again, I'm competing with
the federal government to hire employees at $15 an hour.
If I don't have to pay them $15 an hour because the government orders to, I'm competing
with the government to pay them how the fuck are you going to open a business like that?
You can't.
So no matter how much they open at things, businesses in general has gotten harder and harder
and harder.
Man, fuck the government.
That's awful.
That's obscene.
Okay, yeah, that looks like a pretty collapsing.
The sperm bank dilemma.
Hey, you missed the most important part of the whole sperm bank story.
People don't travel far to get sperm from a sperm bank.
So that dude with the 16, the 17 girls and 14 boys or whatever the number was
has a bunch of people growing up around the same age in the same city that have zero idea
if their next Tinder smash could be their half brother or sister.
Funny.
20 years from now, the town is going to be reporting a bunch of kids with webbed feet.
Yeah.
How about that?
Alright.
Who did I tell they could call in while I have, oh, I've got the big winner for the fat
contest.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Let's see.
Wait, wait, it's over.
No, no, it's going.
But I calculated the, who's the current champ?
Oh, okay.
It is.
Brrrrrrr.
Rick Dum Dum, who's lost 15 pounds.
All right.
Tubby Roo, who's lost 15 pounds seems like a lot.
I mean, although how big, I looked at his pictures.
He submitted scale pictures.
Really?
Yeah, he is a big boy.
Let me log in here.
It's been going a month.
It's been going three weeks.
Three weeks I was going, yeah.
Let me see if I can log in.
He's a big boy.
So we're talking like three plus. Oh, he says he was 272 when
it started. Okay, so up there. Yeah. There's a lot of weight still. I mean, yeah, three
weeks. Sure. Good. Tuberu has lost 12 pounds. He was three damn, 364. Ooh, good for you. Bitter Brian is in a third place tie at 11 pounds
with Ivan Dolvick.
Let's see how fat you are, Bitter Brian.
Bitter Brian was four, what?
Four, four, 36.
Is that Brian, is that accurate?
Well, you see in here?
I see, he sometimes is, all right, who did I tell the call in?
Big D.
Second biggest behind.
Yeah, Big D, you there?
How you doing?
Big D and Sean.
How you doing?
Big D and Sean, if you'll remember,
was the guy who had all those siss all over his self.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, how you doing, Big D?
I'm doing all right.
Get a luck going on in my life right now.
You got a lot going on.
What is your day been like today?
Have you taken any bleach baths or anything like that?
Dick.
Bleach bath is important today.
Start off with a shower.
Oh, yeah.
This usually puts some gauze pads in them, like worse areas.
Oh my God.
Okay.
So you have this, this happens basically like where I would guess
where like skin contacts other skin all the time, right? Like under your arms and stuff like that.
So yeah, so like in your growing area, kind of where your legs bend and the crevices, you get them.
It's really unsure how it's caused, but what's known is that it's the bacteria that your skin naturally produces in your
hair follicles.
Somehow, your bacteria gets into those hair follicles and it causes a cyst in your immune
system attacks it.
Oh my God.
Kind of just goes from there.
It makes it worse than like where you or I might get a zit, right?
Yeah.
You may get a zit or something like that, but I mean,
it gets worse right now, at least 25 active inflamed cysts.
25 cysts.
God damn.
And you said,
So it got to work.
Yeah, I do every day.
Yeah, fuck it.
I work probably five, six days a week sometimes.
Oh my God.
Props for that.
I think I would probably go, I'm sure I could get some money for this.
Yeah. No shit. Yeah. Sean actually brought up a good point last week is operations. I've
actually had an operation so far. Like, I got a siss on my tailbone. And apparently when that happens,
they don't go away. The only way is to literally cut out the chunk of meat that's there.
way, the only way is to literally cut out the chunk of meat that's there. Oh my gosh.
So they're asking in chat, how did you go through puberty if your testicles don't work?
So well, all right.
So I have some kind of test oscarone that is produced.
Well, your my balls thyroid will make it, I think, too. Not as much as, not as much as your balls, but like balls make it, I think, too.
Not as much as, not as much as your balls, but like some of it, I think it's your thyroid
that produces some as well.
Yeah, so I do have enough to function, but it is lower than your natural amount.
So, as you can tell, I have a little softer voice.
Yeah, you do.
It's very soft.
But it's very easy to tell.
But it does sound like a man.
Like it's not, you know what I mean?
Like your voice changed.
Your voice changed.
Yeah, your voice changed.
Yeah.
It sound better than Kaelin Jenner.
All right.
Does anything make you a rage?
I don't even remember the questions we had last week
when we were reading your email.
Um, oh, fertility, that's a good question.
Oh yeah.
I have no idea if I can have kids or not.
The doctor said, most likely I can't, there's a 99% chance based off of like all my test
results, but I still have to go in and do a sperm check.
Make sure, just for certain, before they do surgery.
Oh my god.
Um, wait a minute.
So do you want to date? Like do you have a drive to date with your, I do have. Oh my God. Wait a minute. So do you want to date?
Like do you have a drive to date with your?
I do have a drive to date.
Yes.
Do you jerk off?
It's hard to meet people right now
because of COVID and working so much.
Yeah.
Do you jerk off?
Do you have that much of a drive?
Oh yeah, okay.
I jerk off a lot.
Jerk off.
Yeah.
What makes you a rage? Does anything make you a rage?
People call on their shots. So you know your buddy Carl from War these podcasts. He's been
going around talking about getting sued by Stuttering John. He's already like comparing it to
the lawsuit. And he hasn't even been like served yet. He hasn't even served? No, he's really hyping this shit up.
I don't know.
I don't know if he doesn't even get served.
It's kind of just kind of fall flat, don't you think?
You got to get served.
Come on, Stuttering John.
We're at your ball, Josh.
Josh's not piping it up so much.
I hope he's doing it to go to him and to serving him, because that would be a hilarious
lawsuit. Yeah. that would be a hilarious lawsuit.
Yeah, it would be hilarious.
We need, we need lawsuit at two point out.
I heard that Nick recade is getting sued as well.
Really?
Yeah, I haven't heard anything about Nick lately.
He hasn't called in or anything.
Oh, he was covering all the court stuff, but I heard he was getting, do you know, I
think about Nick's lawsuit?
Big deal.
I have an idea.
No.
So when back to your condition, when did this, you're in your 20s?
I'm 22.
You're 22, that's right.
So that's when the letter I think last week.
When did this start happening?
When you start to hit puberty, you really start to notice it. Like it comes up as like one, maybe two, and then it just kind of snowballs from there.
And usually you go to the doctor, Hey, what's going on?
And you just get diagnosed from there.
Luckily, if you do get diagnosed, most people don't.
Cause it's so hard to diagnose.
Yeah.
God damn.
Bromber bitter Brian says next getting sued by a chess champion, quote, and he did a stream It's so hard to diagnose. Yeah. God damn. Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr,
Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr,
Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr,
Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr,
Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Brr, Oh, it's shaping up to be why don't collect this appeal. Yes.
Why not?
Because it's kind of like a moral thing.
I just, I don't know.
I see it as giving up.
If I can still work, even though I'm in pain, if I can do it, then I'll do it.
No, there's no moral, there's no moral thing to anything.
The money isn't, you're not taking from other people.
They're just making that money out of nothing to give away.
You got it, you got to take it.
Yeah, but it's kind of, it's for me though.
It's kind of like a mental thing for me.
Yeah, so I can't just take free money.
I get it.
If that's a bad speaking to you, my man.
Yeah, probably I'll be right back.
I'm talking to you.
Maybe you'll feel differently, maybe you'll feel differently later.
You know, people tend to become maybe a little less idealistic
and I know where you're just like, hey, you know, like,
what you realize, like, I'm not a piece of shit for doing this.
But, you know, you do you.
But just have all the mirrors removed from your house.
That's what I did a couple years ago.
It took all the mirrors out of the house.
Any kind of reflective surface I smash with a little hammer.
So I can't see myself at all ever.
You'd be amazed at the kind of things
that you allow yourself to do if you don't have to look see myself at all ever. You'd be amazed at the kind of things that you allow
yourself to do if you don't have to look yourself in the mirror ever. I just pop a siss and it covers
the whole mirror and puts my thoughts on what a way to minute. How do you explain this to girls?
I mean, no, yeah, it's very, it's kind of rough. Like my relationships, like I have to know the
person before I kind of really get into
me.
Yeah.
Conning into it.
Well I mean, if you look at it, it looks like an STD right off the bat, but it's not.
Okay.
Which kind of really sucks.
But it's you, you can't get it.
It was passed down by my mom.
Oh, no.
Oh, what a great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Should have put that chapter in your book.
Has she apologized to you every day?
Mother's Day is coming up.
Does she have a nice apology for you for your condition?
She has to get him something every mother's day.
I don't really talk to her too much, but yeah, she did apologize for giving the condition
to me.
She actually does feel quite bad.
But yeah, because she, I wrote another email to Sean following up,
like with more details, what my condition is about.
And she has like stage one, never gone past stage one.
And I'm stage three already.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
How many stages are there?
Yeah.
You have one, two, and three.
So one of us.
Every once in a while, you'll just get some cysts. Two is you get some cysts. You have some sinus tracks under your skin.
And stage three is lots of cysts with lots of sinus tracks. And yeah, under your skin.
Do you have anything to say to the people who have excuses for not being in the weight loss
contest and not being able to work on them, I have low testosterone, low energy.
If you're not fucking working out, you got a problem, dude.
You got a, you got to, you got to work out, get those gains, lose the weight.
All right.
That's what's keeping you down is the weight.
Okay.
Thank you very much, big D. You have a very soothing voice for, uh, for someone dealing
with so much bullshit.
All right.
Uh, get out of here, buddy.
Thanks for being so good.
Good luck.
Good luck.
No shit.
Okay, where is the catfish?
There he is.
Catfish ninja.
Hey, catfish ninja, are you there?
God damn.
That's a hell of a car to be dealt.
Yeah.
We could just do voicemail.
Is that an extra catfish ninja there?
He's lighting up.
He's lighting up, but he's not.
What are you doing?
Yeah, what are you doing, bud?
You're muted.
Mutorino.
Madcucks is there too.
Madcucks, do you have anything you want to say?
Who's that?
Is it hack the movies?
All right, let me get hack the movies on there.
Cool.
I just want to say that hack the movies released 12 minutes of silence on this week's episode
of his podcast.
It's very unprofessional.
Yeah, it's my protruding nipple showing disgusting.
Let's hack the movies.
Did you release 12 minutes of silence on your podcast?
It was at the very end.
It was at the very end.
And I just fixed it.
It's not that big of a deal. Wow. I just fixed it. It's not that big of
a deal. Wow. What do you say? It's not that big of a deal. That's when people start making
a big deal. I just, you just, you just, you just, I was in any impermeer and I had like
space at the end of the timeline that I forgot to like fix. So yeah, there was 12 minutes
silence easily easily done. Buddy, did you watch Mortal Kombat? I know we were talking about, I have a video
out about it. It's fucking awful. Awful. Just awful. And there's, they did not have,
they did not have one sexy lady are all the hot girls being paid by only fans that they,
Hollywood can't find any to put these action movies anymore.
What are you fucking kidding me?
I didn't mind the girl played Sonya, but she definitely looked hotter in some other
movie I saw.
Do you know who is she?
I don't know.
I thought she's Jessica something.
I know she was in that stupid shark movie.
The Meg that's the only thing I've seen her in.
Oh, God.
I thought Cassie Cage was, I thought her daughter was going to walk out and be the hot one
at any moment.
I can't think of anything.
Okay.
Well, they got the milk here.
A little daughter here comes her daughter and then he mott like brab and down and like
no, oh, oh, I see.
Okay.
Well, I can't imagine who the demo of this movie is.
It's, it's all like, did you, did you watch the movie or now?
I did, yeah.
Okay, the trailer made it seem like the movie was going to be awesome.
Like, it did all the blood and gore and the fighting.
Yeah.
Cool, that looks awesome.
Then you watch the movie and I had no idea that this whole movie was a prequel to the
tournament and it's setting up a franchise where they're going to find
all the other characters from the games.
Maybe by movie three or four, they'll actually get to the tournament.
Why?
They've trying to take the, they're just trying to do the Marvel thing or something.
I mean, wait.
Yeah.
It's going to be a little bit more competitive.
Yeah.
In and of its own, you know, like it's, yeah.
Nobody's, if you have the first one sucks, you're not going to, you're not on the hook for the second one. Oh, the cares.
Go ahead.
Like, like I, I like capeshit stuff. I don't mind Marvel, but I don't want everything
to be Marvel. Like I'm watching this, like this is fucking awful. And then like the stupid
thing they made up where you have to get a tattoo and then your tattoo unlocks your X-Men power. I'm like, what the fuck is this?
And in the game, it was just, oh, I have robot arms or I know magic.
It wasn't you have to get your special tattoo and then unlock your X-Men power.
And this is the dumbest.
They give, they give chat, they have to give everybody.
Everything has to have a backstory now.
Everything is so fucking infuriating.
Like back to the future, it doesn't start
with a 20 minute explanation of why Doc Brown
started making a time machine.
It's just like, oh, he's fucking lunatic,
that's gotta time.
They take my jacks.
They work it in very like kind of tastefully,
where it's like, he was, yeah, he was, right.
He was standing on his toilet, the puzzle was what?
He slipped and fell and when I woke up,
fell through this.
Every single fucking character has to, they go through jacks, losing his toilet, the parcel is wet, he slipped and fell and when I woke up, they threw this. They every single fucking character has to, they go through jacks, losing his arms and then
give him little T-Rex robot monks, give him T-Rex robot arms, so he looks, he looks like
a robot abortion, like halfway through the movie that just turn muscular for no reason.
There's no Johnny Cage at all, who's the only reason the character is movies.
I would and they they add a new character. They add a new character in a franchise that
has too many characters for even the most artistic fan to remember. Too many characters they
added a new character that has less that has so little charisma. I would rather them have
put striker in as the main character.
Go ahead.
Thank you.
I hate striker.
Striker is such a fucking shitty.
He's just a fat ass with a Billy club from Mortal Kombat three.
You remember him?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me pull him up.
Remember him.
Mortal Kombat three.
I don't think I do.
Yeah.
After that, look up Mortal Kombat Armageddon striker when they try to make them look even cooler
and he looked even more lame.
Sean, this is this is striker.
No. Wait, that is this is striker.
Wait, that might be a three C G one.
Yeah, that's a C G one.
He just like, he looks like, is he like a cop?
Cahuna Wong, tickle porn out at a sh-
God.
He he he looks like he looks like a beach boys guy.
He's just fat with a, he's like a cop or something.
I don't know.
Let me, let me find him.
I'm at three.
Anyway, what are you saying, Tony?
The worst thing about the Cole guy, his introduction when they first show him in that
wide shot, there's a poster for a Johnny Cage movie on the wall.
Yeah.
So it's just saying like, hey, look at this thing that you want.
Fuck you.
Here's Cole, whatever the hell is name is, with this stupid, he's
a young man.
What is the fucking punch of the screen?
Cole Younger.
Cole Younger.
His metal suit.
Yeah.
You remember Striker?
This is Striker.
No, I don't remember that guy.
The crummyest thing.
He's not even have underarmor.
Didn't have a tight shirt on.
Look at that fatty.
I'm well.
I'm posting when they try to make Striker cooler in the general right now and he just looks
even more like.
And Raiden, Raiden, maybe just learned how to speak English that day.
They started filming.
I hate to sound ableist or whatever, but come on, man.
Give him Christopher Lambert was a man.
It's just so obviously made to be exported to China.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, right.
Netflix doesn't even fuck about America.
They've already tapped America out.
They'll just keep raising prices until Amazon learns how to make until Amazon buys Hollywood
and learns how to make anything worth watching.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All they care about is expanding is expanding into China.
That's all they care about.
Absolutely. Everything they make has is expanding is expanding into China. That's all they care about everything. They make has some
Atrocious Chinese character
Well, like did you see the Godzilla movie? Yes, Tony the new one. God's house
Was it was was that guy like a big star in China or something?
Must have been that's exactly I pick that right away, the lab assistant. They can't fucking speak.
I think that guy, I think, is Japanese,
because he's supposed to be a son of the guy
from the previous movies,
but they cut out every mention of it.
So I don't think he's Chinese.
Well, so, but they put him in there.
He obviously doesn't speak English very well.
Probably he's, obviously, they want the Japanese market
and maybe some of the other Asian markets.
Well, the guy from, well, they wanted the Chinese market because they had them.
Godzilla and Kong fight in Hong Kong instead of Japan.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then cut out into the first gods of the world.
We could be part of China town between Godzilla and King Kong.
They cut that out.
They cut it out and they were jacking each other off and stuff.
All of that out.
They teamed up.
They crossed their jack off streams
and shot a plasma. A gay plasma ray. It was a queer straight alliance.
Kong's fur was really matted. That was why. Yeah. So it's downloaded the torrent. So I'm
going to the people. How did you like that gay jack off scene where they jacked off and
sprayed mecha got by the way, gummed him up. A mecha Godzilla.
Yeah, they gummed up all of his gears and stuff.
Yeah.
I thought it was awesome that they got mecha Godzilla out.
Like they found a way, they found a whole movie way,
an actual way to actually have mecha Godzilla.
And they're like, you're fucking getting me.
I got duped.
All right, I'm in.
I'm in you son of a bitch.
They combine like all of his origins too, which is pretty cool.
But anyway, fuck, I forget what I was saying about War Cop.
It was horrible.
What did you think about Shang's song is like, oh, I need three expendable characters
to throw at the good guys.
Nitarra, the guy with the hammer, and then Goro.
They just made Goro just a run of the Mill Henschman.
I mean, Goro getting killed by the new guy was like how Worf would always
get his ass kicked. Like when a tough guy would show up on Star Trek, the next generation,
and he'd be like, what's up? I'm Worf. I'm naturally aggressive and dominant. And they
just canceled, they, the space just canceled menthol. So I'm pissed off today. Yeah.
You want to fight? Right. And then the guy would kick his ass and like, oh, wow, that guy's tough guy.
Um, but they were wasted. They wasted Goro. Like I came to 80s girl. And I'm like, they
just fucking killed Goro, which is the best, what the best character, the most iconic
character in this whole fucking franchise. They just killed him by Cole Younger. Um,
in the first 20 minutes of the movie.
Yeah, he's supposed to be the reigning champ that you have to beat in the first game.
And like the tournament didn't even happen in this movie yet.
And he's already dead.
It's like, what the fuck is this?
It was so stupid.
I hate it.
You know what's funny about Christopher Lambert?
Did you see Vito's video on the guy playing jacks?
No. Why? Oh, yeah on the guy playing Jacks? No.
Why?
Yeah, the actor playing Jacks, he did in the interview.
He was talking about Christopher Lambert and he's like, yeah, when they cast him to play
this guy, it was America laundering its bigotry.
So apparently it was racist for them to pick a white guy to be raiding in the 90s.
But it's funny because when we were little calm at 11 last year, they put Christopher Lambert in the
game and they were hyping it up.
So this actor is basically saying the current game that's out now is racist without realizing
it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, whatever.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah, the movie sucks.
They should put it and they should put like a rate, a David Duke in Mortal Kombat.
They're going to have to. They're going to have to come up with some way to sell right?
I think of all the people the think of all the think of all the articles that would be written holy shit
I can't David Duke is a DLC for mortal combat 12 you pay
$5,000 you can download
David Duke and play against him on
Your mortal couple out of spine and stuff making wear a little dress spin him around
I don't know. I was surprised they don't put more characters like that in those games like racist characters or
Oh, you're echoing. You know people would love like ripping them up. I think you're echoing on your end
Yeah, you got something coming up. I just started here in the echo.
Me too.
Is there someone else?
Wait, it just went away.
Just went away.
All right, well, what do you,
is that what you wanted to say?
You're gonna plug your stuff.
You're doing very well on.
Yeah, I love plugging things.
I know Sean was a big fan of my plugging last time.
I called him.
Oh, yeah, that was funny. Yeah, I didn't even realize I did it till afterwards. I'm like,
oh, well, I do sound like a dick. I was done. My channel's doing really well. The new show
really took off talking about tapes and then we do modern movies. We've reviewed Mortal
Combat and how bad it is. It has its own podcast feed. Speaking of mechagodzilla, I'm still doing
the Godzilla podcast. Oh, you are. Yes. Dick, Dick. With a later alone. No, no, no,
with my co-host Johanna. This year alone, there's been a Godzilla movie. They just started
doing a Godzilla comic book. There's three Godzilla mobile games. Oh, there's a Godzilla
Netflix show that we've been reviewing. Yeah.
It's a good year for a Godzilla podcast you're saying for a right. If like me having a Godzilla
podcast, this is the best year to have it. I, I'm, I'm sure I can't run out of content.
It's amazing. It's like, I feel like, good. I was like, if you have a Godzilla podcast,
I, people would be amazed.
They'd be like, oh my God, I have things to talk about for weeks.
It'd be weird if I wasn't uploading something right now.
Like if you had a pandemic, a podcast about viruses, viruses, virology, global pandemics,
and they just went on hiatus like a year, a year and a month ago, because you're
a co-host, got a boyfriend.
Very good. My co-host just got engaged and we're still planning episodes.
I don't know what these other shows have problems with.
Well, Dwight, was it Maddox saying on, so we watch banana docs and Maddox, like Twitch
clips on the bonus episodes, page on our comm slash the Duk show.
And if you didn't know, Maddox,, he's saying that like he was going to start, he was waiting
for Haley to get back from Japan.
It's a big thing.
From Utah.
Yeah.
And then they're going to get right back into it.
He was waiting for him.
He was waiting for Haley or was that banana docs to it?
I think it was ox mad.
I think you're right.
Right.
Riley was a message in her and.
Oh God.
She's seen the internet say to come on the show and he's like, you got a job on this. I'm like, dude, by the time I ask her, she's going to see an interactive to come on the show. And he's like, you got a job on this.
I'm like, dude, by the time I ask her,
she's going to figure out like who I am.
There's some way she's coming on the show.
No, she'll come on.
There's no
because you've got
people are always trying to cancel you.
I've noticed really.
Yeah, there's a lot of
that's not funny.
Is it a funny?
You're like,
I was, God.
I was on the anchor video game nerds channel,
and they all want to be his friends,
so then they always have to make up stuff about me
to get me fired.
That's really what it is.
It is, it's a sick obsession.
Sick obsession.
I played a Mortal Kombat with my grandmother yesterday
on Twitch, and they did a whole post on like,
how I'm exploiting her and shit.
I'm like, come on,
I'm just, can I just play a game and have a fun time?
Like if you watch this, she's having a great time.
Just fucking just kill yourself.
Tony, you should have your co-host approach, Haley, to get her on the show.
That sure.
Yeah.
And then you're just on it.
Yeah, good idea.
And then see what happens.
Take you were on the show and tab also. Yeah, it was it. Yeah, good idea. And then see what happens. Um, take you were on the show and tab also.
Yeah, it was great.
Yeah, I took on one of the worst Godzilla movies ever made.
So you're welcome for that.
It was the only, for some reason, Tony put me, made me review the Godzilla movie where
their Godzilla's nemesis is a pedophile monster.
Really?
Yeah, he's a great.
And there's their span art now.
Oh boy.
Oh, really? Oh, send it to me. There's fan art now. If you ask that. Oh boy. Oh, really?
Oh, send it to me. Great. Yes.
What's his face through that
picture? He's making Godzilla
avatars for everyone.
Okay. Well, what makes you
rage, Tony?
My cat. I got a new cat. And
the girl who gave it to us was
like, yeah, he sneezes
sometimes and he sneezes all the goddamn time. Sne to us was like, yeah, yeah, he sneezes sometimes and he sneezes
all the goddamn time.
Sneezing.
Yeah, it's like respiratory issue.
So I wake up every day, just covered in cats, not and it's like the worst thing ever.
I love the guy, but that's my rage.
Sorry, that happens.
I never thought I would.
His name is Raid Shadow Legends the cat.
So you probably should be posting that.
So Rayd Shadow Legends pays people
to obnoxiously advertise their thing.
I see.
They haven't paid.
Well, they have paid me in the past,
but not for the cat.
I'm trying to get the cat to get them to pay me again.
All right, Tony, get out of here.
Thank you for calling.
So yeah. Tadadadadadadadadadadadadipple of him. Are you gay now hold on I got to talk to you boy
Yeah, cripple Jesus
Yeah, do you have a boyfriend now
I'm gonna show you.
Oh, what was that?
That nurse came in. Sarah, you know, you're gay now.
You're gay now.
Well, congratulations.
Congratulations.
I thank you, buddy.
I'm having a liking to it.
I don't know if I'm, it might not be a full gay.
I might just be taking a vacation from pussy. Okay. That's
always good for your mental health. I think. I mean, I like it, man. It's, uh, you know,
he's got the high functioning autism. See you. Yeah. Do you have gay sex or anything similar
to that? That's happening Saturday. I'm not at that level yet, but I've already
Established that I'm not putting anything into my ass. Okay. Okay. Anything else you mean?
I just had surgery and I had to take a
Suppository oh, yeah to get out the opioid shit
Uh-huh, and that shit sucks. So nothing is going up my ass.
Okay.
Ever.
Okay.
When did you figure out that you were gay?
Well, it started with traps and then, you know.
The gateway, gateway, gay.
Traps, gateway.
Gates way.
All right.
A gateway, yeah.
Good luck.
You got anything that makes you a rage or anything you want to say?
I do have something that makes me a rage. So when your mom falls for your cues, your father
your father of extorting you. And then everybody on Facebook is a damn in you, telling you that your dad should not extort you and asking you if you are okay, even though he'd not extorting you.
I'm pissing me off. How's the story with that?
If anybody thinks that he's extorting you. If anybody asks you if you're being extorted on Facebook,
you should tell them that it would be,
you'd be better off if they would just venue,
Venmo you 20 bucks.
I'm just like, I'd,
I might, I usually say,
I'm gonna let myself get extorted.
I'm gonna let myself get extorted.
I'm gonna let myself get extorted.
I'm gonna let myself get extorted.
I'm gonna let myself be extorted
unless you send me $20.
Right.
Right?
That's how it goes. Sure.. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna let, I will let myself be extorted unless you send me $20.
Right, right?
That's how it goes.
Sure.
I offered, the story is I offered to buy him a motorcycle
so he could take me to more poker games
because his truck, they has the piece of shit
and it doesn't work on the freeway.
Okay.
And I offered to give him 300 dollars and
My mom is all but her that I'm not giving her money
So she's calling that extortion that I'm giving my dad money. Why does she want money from you?
Well because any time I give money to someone that's not her. It's wrong. Oh
Really? Is your mom, not your wife?
And no, this is my mom.
Yeah, she acts like a wife.
But.
Oh, wait a minute.
When did you become the breadwinner of the...
Well, I'm a degenerate gambler, Sean.
And that seems to be working out.
Oh, Gilly, you're making money at poker or what? Blackjack. or a gambler shone. And that seems to be working out. For real.
Billy, you're making money at poker or what?
Blackjack.
Poker and sometimes roulette.
You know, if I'm really drunk,
like if I'm like forward twisted cheese in,
I'd be really good at roulette for some reason.
Okay.
Because your memory doesn't work, that's why.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you want your dad to, you getting your dad a motorcycle
to drive you to the casino.
No, no, he's gonna drive to my apartment
and he's gonna take my car.
Oh.
Because the problem is, is he can't drive to my apartment
right now.
Oh, I see.
Because his car sucks.
Okay.
Gotcha. I thought you're gonna sidecar it. Like this is. Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no. A dream to sidecar. Like, I just wish.
I wish this is a carway for that. He's got like an old Indian. So I don't think we could
side-go. Oh, yeah. Latch it on. Native American motorcycles. Right. I think they change their name, aren't they? Oh, man.
And they just know.
Motorcycles.
No.
They're moving the factory to Poonjabi.
What's that?
That's so they can continue.
Oh, with the name, right?
Right.
So it's actually an India.
Yeah, changing it to a little turbine.
No.
Okay.
Well, sorry, being extorted.
Well, that's the thing thing I told my dad he should
put on his wing. He should put on his wing then extortion air because it seems everything
he does is extortion. And I think that's pretty cool. So he should just use it. So should manage. Yeah. Yeah.
Now, what's up with what's up with with your M&M stepdad?
Oh, yeah, what's going on with him?
Oh, yeah, that guy. Yeah.
A funny story about him is one of the times I gave my money.
It was to pay meant salad for a t-shirt for the weed growing business that hadn't even
started yet. So this motherfucker was my two-dollar-go business. That didn't even exist.
And then when the time finally came for the growing season, you know, like, he said they got robbed by
two black dudes. And they were shotting. They took all the weed. They said, this is maggot.
This is the total right. I think what really happened is his crops went to shit because he's a fucking dumbass. And he can't do anything. But they throw a empty pack of menthols out of and say, this is small, let country.
Yeah.
Well, there are about to be a week old, so he should buy up on them.
There you go.
Yeah, storm up.
Keep him humidified.
All right, buddy.
Well, good luck with your gay sex. This next weekend. Thank you. I would like to plug my podcast.
Go for it. Go for it.
So who gives a shit? We have a Patreon.com.
We have a Patreon website now. It's patreon.com, Swiss WGAS, SHIT Show.
Okay.
And we're up to 35 hours.
Now my goal is to reach 80 hours, which is what Stuttering John makes.
And I want to be the top earn a quip on Patreon.
Yeah.
Okay.
What is his affliction?
They would be great. Recharge Aation. Okay. Stuttering his affliction? They would be great.
Retardation.
Okay.
Stuttering John.
Stuttering I guess.
But he's got a multi.
He's just a general retard and he makes us work bad.
Yeah.
All right.
$80 for what is it?
Patreon.com slash WGAS.
Shit show.
Shit show.
So WGAS.
WGAS. Shit show. so two S is in a row right
Yeah, okay, cuz good job. Yeah somebody already took who gives a shit and they don't even make podcast anymore
But the patreon no name. Yeah already. Yeah, okay. All right. Good luck. I Can't stop staring at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. All right, good luck. I can't stop staring at this. Yeah, this
GIF of
Starring John jumping. Okay. Is there like a B in there or something?
Catfish, catfish ninja. Are you there this time? Oh, we can't hear you buddy. I don't know. Your phone. Something's wrong.
Something's wrong.
I'm sorry to tell you. All right, everybody.
This has been the Dixho.
Hey, Sean, I'm a comm slash.
The Dixho.
I'll see you next Tuesday.
This song is...
Did you finish reading the list of who was winning the weight loss contest?
Yeah, I did. Why?
Well, I feel like I've been...
Did you get skipped?
Shortchanged.
How much did you lose? According to the contest, I think I've lost 63, did you get skipped? Shortchanged. How much did you lose?
How much did you lose?
According to the contest, I think I've lost 63 pounds
as of this week.
Oh, what?
What?
I'm gonna have to check my algorithm.
Is that true?
It's, I mean, it's as true as the contest runs.
Oh, I believe someone said at one point,
cheating was encouraged.
Oh, yeah.
That's true.
Yeah, let me see.
I'll check on it.
Let me see what you filled out.
Um, these guys had pictures though.
I have pictures.
You have pictures?
All right, I'll check it out.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I do think that this is like just an elaborate ploy for you to get a bunch of
feet picks of all the dickheads though.
Yeah.
So kind of weird degenerate blackmail ring.
Don't cancel your Patreon or
these feet picks will make it to the, I'm an enhancing everybody's pictures so I can see
their dick in the reflection of the scale. And that's what I'm going to use to blackmail them.
I say pretty good to some. I'm like most dickheads. I can bend over and touch my toes. So all of my
pictures of the, just the readout on the scale and not my feet.
There we go.
Okay.
Well, I'll see what I can do with that.
Safe guard.
Put in a dick.
That'll show you.
All right.
This is, uh, oh, this is Cuck.
Jazz Standard by Paul Spencer.
I guess we did, we missed this one.
It's a jazz standard.
It's a jazz standard.
There you go. See is cock obsessive I'm much too possessive
K is killing me a little more when I see you
Horde cock is all that I can get from you
Cock is on a test at all You know, I'm a big panel about sex in this city.
Only an upward trajectory.
You know, I think a feature film is worth the content every single week.
The fans really don't appreciate that.
Fuck you guys.
Fuck the fans.
I've done too. Hmm. C is for the closet I watch from.
You the one the bull will fill with calm.
C's a washed up camera.
This is my whole world game.
It's kicking me out because I washed washed up and there's no payout.
Cut is all that I can get from you.
Cut is more than just a game to you too.
Two in debt won't make it break my heart
and be sure to take it cut
Was made for me and you
Cut was made for him and you
Cut was made for them and you
Awwww That's a baby Oh Paul Spencer, thank you very much very nice one a little one a little New Orleans little Dixie little Dixie lands type stuff horns at the end
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got to do a road rage no
All right, let me do some let's load up the voicemails
All right, let me do some, let's load up the voicemails.
Hey, before you do some voicemails, I have a good news that I got this week.
Oh, let's hear it.
Yeah, so I called a few months ago,
talking about losing my house and all that shit.
Well, I finally got a call.
I got a job offer as soon as things reopen,
I will be back to work in my first day.
And not for the company
I used to work for, which pleases me greatly because they're all a bunch of fuck sticks.
Yeah. That's awesome. Congratulations. Yeah.
Yeah. Roaring, the economy is roaring back.
Roaring back. Yeah. Well, I'd like to see it, I'd like to see a roar back for Madcucks, at least,
you know, like these people. It's gonna be a roaring 20s.
God, you're so fucking out of touch.
That's awesome, man.
There you go.
Yeah, it is.
I couldn't be, I was like, I was very elated.
I just bought a new grill and then I got the news
and I was like, wow, this is a great day.
What kind of grill?
I already pan off by in the grill.
I bought a griddle, a griddle grill.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so it's propane and it's totally transportable, so I can get it in my car and take it places.
Cool, that's cool.
But it's dope, because I have a regular, great grill that I grill on, but like you can't
do vegetables on it as easily.
Yeah.
The shitty grill mats, which never get clean right.
Yeah.
So I finally would just, I saw this one for a good deal and I was like, yeah, I'm buying
that.
I have never cleaned my grill. And now there's no more grill. I know. It's just good deal and I was like, yeah, I'm buying that. I have never cleaned my grill.
And now there's no more grill.
I know.
It's just a flat.
I know.
I'm turning it into a pizza stone.
Yeah, my, I think I spiked some time cleaning that and then like banging it on the side
of trying to get them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's pretty bad.
My main grill I never clean.
I just let all that stuff build up.
It's good flavor.
Well, I mean, speaking of that, actually next week on the
here's, I don't get YouTube channel or releasing a video that we
we did by a spite producer request on how I cook steaks. That's
going to be coming out next Saturday. All right. All right.
All right. Congratulations to check that out. Yeah. Thank
you. See you. See you.
Congratulations to check that out. Yeah. Thank you.
See you.
See you, Max.
Hey, there.
What's makes me rage is I'm driving for a wife.
She goes.
Hey.
Oh, Colin, Mr. birthday.
I go, who?
Mm-hmm.
It goes, oh, Colin.
You know him., oh, Colin. You know him.
You know Colin.
Oh, who's Colin?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
And she goes, oh, it's my friend's son.
You don't know him.
Oh, you don't know him.
Can I have a deep breath?
I would like to not know you.
You can't keep me from driving to yeah, but I hope he wasn't driving me to
that was the end of him. He died right there. Yeah, you think you'd hear like an explosion
but he just hit the hang up on the on the way to Collins birthday. Yeah.
You're pointing about strip club on the bus episode. And on about the man, especially unattractive.
If it's been a while, you're not had that kind of gays over a woman.
It's just like a hundred bucks.
On a bus. And you'll get the experience.
What is that?
How pleasant.
How pleasant.
Yeah.
That you're money.
Never will happen anywhere else.
Exactly.
He's just like that.
I was just listening to the phone at that time.
And then get in the truck,
love after a dish can,
and you got to let it.
It's funny.
Shit ass out.
Point you know it's on down.
If I stop.
Yeah.
You will never,
you will never be true.
It really going to a strip club and just sitting
there with a drink, you will see how truly, how pleasant women can be, but they will never
act like that ever in any other setting with any other incentive and for any other reason.
You could be the richest guy in the world.
If you're at a party or something, still, still you will not be treated as nicely as you
will to strip club.
A nurse in a hospital, you're on your deathbed, will not treat you as nice as a stripper
at a strip club will.
They can do it at any time.
But they're like, you know, they're like, they're like wild cats, sanctuaries.
Yeah.
You know, they're like, but you know,
it's some point the tiger is gonna go tiger.
I fuckingless.
This is, we were talking about this before the show.
What's that?
There is, oh yeah, occasionally,
how I can tell at this point that like extreme super fans
will turn evil and then just put obsessiveive like they feel betrayed in some way and
put obsessive amount of energy. Fucking guy like clockwork. It happened. I can feel like, yeah.
This guy is, oh, did she get in? Dog open stores now like a raptor. She stands on her back
feet and opens the doors. Fucking super fan hitting me up constantly.
And so this weekend, I said, bro, you sound like you sound like please don't take this
the wrong way, but you sound like you have schizophrenia.
You're not making any sense.
You message me constantly, constantly dozens in a row.
I'm like, just go to a doctor, get yourself, I know by now what it looks like when this
happens. And it always goes the same fucking way
I guess I fucking sabbid immediately just popped up on patreon getting boring honestly
Someone feels bad that they were told to go to a fucking doctor because they have obvious schizophrenia. Yeah, I'm not your fucking dad
Just say it's a it's probably a good idea.
Just fuck off.
Yeah.
Fuck off when you're done.
Fuck off.
All right, let's see, team captains.
Dick and Sheldon, it's a big Brian here.
Yo, here's what makes me a rage.
So I work at the school and apparently you cannot just have team captains decide the teams.
This makes sense.
The plan is forks every step.
You can't do that anymore.
Because apparently it hurts the feelings of the children
who get caught, or are towards the back.
But it's so fucked because it's it's honestly doing kids a
disservice for when they get older. Oh yeah. You decide it who gets into medical
school just by numbering off by one and two. Well they completely use a worst
system now. And also had picking team captains, that is...
They number off by race.
You're picking the team based off of the perceived skill
of the students, which means that as long as everyone's got
a fairly consistent shake on things, you're going to get fair teams.
Yeah.
Just going every other,, a total toss.
That's how life works though.
Kids need to learn how life works.
It's not who's good or not.
It's numbering people off and judging you
by random criteria where you happen to be.
I mean, it's, what do you want to teach kids
the wrong way about how life works?
That's how it works.
Kidding boring, honestly.
That's code for, dict didn't respond to my psychotic
and endless direct messaging.
Show's getting boring.
Uh-oh.
Okay.
God, please tell me about it privately.
Please send me a big fucking,
please send me a nonsensical rambling string of texts about it.
Said no one ever.
You're really sick of this.
I'm just so fucking sick of that exact entitlement,
which is small and it's like this sickness
that they take from one person to the next.
No, yeah.
I'm from fucking hated.
You know me, I'm not like Mr. Well,
everyone can be saved.
We gotta get everyone out of here.
It's no
find them find them find the poison apple
and fucking can crush it yeah completely destroy it don't ever feel any way
about it again
uh... we go
this is a continuation of of the same topic
kids
not being allowed to just have team captain beside the play
sports it's not like the kids don't understand not being allowed to just have team captain beside you get to play this course.
Um, it's not like the kids don't understand what's going on.
Little Jimmy knows whether he shit or not at football, okay?
Well, the kids continue understanding.
Yeah, yeah, we know, we know, we know.
It's horrible.
I agree.
I got a patronize him too.
Yeah.
You know, he sucks.
It's like, oh, they're only picking me because they have to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't have team captains.
Okay.
Just tell us what we can do.
It's kind of.
Yeah, just tell us.
Just tell us what we can do.
Because I don't know.
I'm not, I'm not making a move unless it's signed off by, you know, multiple people.
Yeah.
And we've had a bunch of failures.
A bunch of failures.
Yeah.
Hey, Dick, you know what makes me a rage?
The staples they put on the bags of food that you get through like DoorDash or Uber Eats.
I had to fall in my food today.
I had to fish them out of my dinner.
At least you knew they fell in.
I shouldn't have a staple, dude. Anyways, go fuck yourself.
Yeah, but then they're gonna eat your food
if they don't do that.
It's a problem.
Right, it's...
It's fries.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's to keep them out of it.
Would you rather have staples
or some grubby fat or matte jarbo's fingers in your food?
I mean, what would you rather have?
I'll take the staples, Dick.
Here's what makes some of your rage.
And I'm at the gym.
You know, half of the people have their mask pulled down
so that they can breathe through their nose.
And then like another, you know, 15%
have it all the way down to their chin.
And I'm on the fucking elliptical.
When I'm on the elliptical
I pull it down to my nose to begin with and then if I get really fucking sweaty
I pull it down to my chin right and
90% of the time
Anything we just walk by and no transmission in the gym
One fucking guy twice this motherfucker comes up to me while I'm on the elliptical and I got my eyes closed with my fucking headphones on I'm just in the zone and this fucker's like oh please
mask up please mask up dude I'm like dude what's up don't go to the gym like it like me
he catches you off guard what's it like because it catches you off guard you can't even like
think of something was it a member or a fight to say in response you just another Oh, then and then the guy should go to the jail. Oh my god fucking you just feel like such as fucking showed and
You got to have it prepared really
Fuck yeah, I got to have it prepared like not my club Mark, what would you do?
Uh-oh I get it. Oh, yeah
That's funny.
Are you fucking asking me?
Are you ordering me?
If it's you're ordering me, you're ordering another man.
You do something.
You're fucking dead.
You should be fucking dead.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, no.
I guess it's a foul.
You're doing so well.
This is what I'm gonna up until then.
This is foul.
This is what you say.
Pull my mask up.
I will as soon as you wipe that schmutz off your shirt.
And when I look down, you smack on the nose,
don't tell me about my mask again.
Just a fuck outta here.
Next time I will, I'll grab your nuts.
Punch.
I will as soon as you wipe that shit off your shirt.
Pop!
Yeah, right.
Ass, jackass.
So I don't wear masks ever.
We go to the dog park. I'm not wearing my mask. And people start taking out their masks. It's like a lot of guys not. It's like,
oh, yeah, fuck, fuck this. The first person to cut into the cake or pie. Yeah, then it's okay.
Yeah. Oh, I can't, the last time I, I was like, the last time I time I can't remember the last time I wore a mask outside. There was a black guy there too and I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry about cools.
I'm sorry, you were going to say yes.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I'm sorry, buddy.
You can't, you probably feel like you can't just take your mask off because then it's
going to be like a whole thing, right?
Here I am.
I don't know how to phrase it right, but I'm thinking one white guy or one black guy at this all white dog, bougie dog park, right? He's got to wear
a mask on thinking, you mean like, because he's got this, I gotta be careful. Yeah,
he's got my white privilege is is allowing me to do this. And you can't even join it.
It would be worse for you. That's what you would be thinking.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't know, but you could see him take like, oh yeah.
Fuck you guys.
Yeah.
I had it planned.
If anybody said anything, I was just going to start screaming.
Punching CDC.
CDC says no.
CDC says no.
CDC says no.
Hey, thick.
This is neither from Canada.
You know, it really makes me a fucking rage
is dating as a Gen D.
Fucking, the girl, you didn't,
you guys have no idea what it's like trying to date
in like lower 20s as a lower 20 year olds.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm decent looking, I got banned going,
like there's nothing that makes you ugly
or on a plane.
Well, you don't have any money.
Well, girls want to do, have interview.
Like, I try to, I didn't mean interviews.
Like, you just want interviews.
Like, I don't know.
Oh, no.
There's still one money.
Well, did you do for work? Oh, I cleaned. Yeah. And that's it. Like, this is a, no. No, an interview. No, it's interviews because they want money. You do for work. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
And that's it. Like this is a no, wrong answer. I'll learn more about you. So you can learn
more about me and like a coalition of fucking go girl. These fucking go these days. I run
a I run a foundation that cares for foster dogs. Only once with three legs, because of all the money I made on Bitcoin.
I am so fucking crazy.
Once it's a normal fucking day.
Normal girl, fuck you.
I know that's, this is why young girls fuck older guys.
I know fuckers, we can laugh, cause they're wide-footed.
Yeah.
I love you all.
See ya.
I love you, John.
What do you do for work?
I count money.
Right.
Mine.
All day. Oh, really? How'd you get into that? Well, you money, mine all day. Yeah.
Oh, really?
How'd you get into that?
Well, you see what happened was.
Of course, it's an interview.
Why would it not be?
Why would they fuck for free?
I think pounded into their heads all day.
The amount of money in the system is shrinking,
especially at your age.
They know it.
They can tell. They can tell.
They can see who's working and who's not.
Gotta lie, here was true.
It's one more, one more,
because this is coming out on Cinco de Mayo.
This is Cinco de Mayo episode.
Cool.
Hey, Vickie, good job.
Hey, upcoming is Cinco de Mayo, man.
One of the most fun days up until the past five years.
So you're right
to make me rage
to the my own and how everybody
tried
their darnest
mostly online which i mean does anybody really care what people say
online but
it's all this is shit of like oh hey you know to my eyes not about drinking
you know it's about history do you know any mexicans out there even in Mexico that's celebrate actual history
on single to my nobody does it's a fucking party thing it's like you know for the
July is everybody swarming independent all know and I really everybody's enjoying a
fucking barbecue same fucking thing with single to. But yet, yeah, for the past five years, I want to
say people try to quote, quote, educate me, not a little, a little, a little, a little
no. It's like, I'm actually his panic. So it's like, okay, cool. Yeah. All right. Yeah.
Tell me more about how synchos and bio is about really, really, really, really, really
good.
About people that it's being perverted for drinking. Oh, God. Who cares? I don't know what happens in Mexico, you know, maybe it's a more, I don't know, it's a
more serious, but like it's, it is a lot like the Fourth of July, like it's become part
of kind of, you know, our culture, you know, it's one of those cultural holidays, just
kind of as a country where it's like St. Patti's Day, Cinco de Mayo Memorial Day.
Memorial Day is very rarely a somber event in remembrance of.
It's about, it's remembering the, it's a nice barbecue, the pre. Yeah. That's true.
What were you going to say? Nothing. That's it. That's it. Is observed as to commemorate the Mexican army's victory over the French Empire at the
Battle of Puebla.
So just memorize the first paragraph on Wikipedia and if somebody hits you with that shit,
shout it in their face without taking even a moment's pause.
It's not Mexican Independence Day.
Yeah.
Just scream it right in their face, especially if they're white.
After a year battle, a larger, uh, at the Battle of Puebla.
Oh, it's, is it about the history?
Is it an annual, no, it's not Mexican Independence Day.
It's a celebration, uh, uh, to commemorate the Mexican Army's victory over the French Empire
at the Battle of Puebla in May 5th, 1962.
You bitch.
Now, get me another shot. All right, goodbye, everybody. See ya.
Getting boring, honestly. I'm getting boring, sending fucking skits so posts.
I was bored an hour ago.