The Dick Show - Episode 424

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

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How do you like my new 9-11 mouse pad? Oh wow. Pretty cool, right? Those are the twin towers. Flying carpet. Yeah, it looks like a flying carpet. I don't know. I think it's from Lord Miles or his shop or something.

There's missiles, there's Afghanistan, our pals, the brave Mujahideen fighters who never stopped fighting terrorists. Aladdin blew up the World Trade Center. That's not nice. Way better than that crass hentai porno mouse pad that somebody sent in. Oh, right, right. That's done. I'm done with that shit. Too mature for that. Yeah, that's kid stuff.

Yeah, upgraded. Oh, boy.. Upgraded. Oh boy. They got the planes coming in at side by side. See that? Like, or... Synchronized. Synchronized, yeah. I think in the LA Olympics, that's a new sport. Synchronized suicides?

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Because they did away with break dancing. Oh man. I don't think they're... I honestly think they've... Break dancing is done. Is that done?

I believe so, yeah. All break dancing has been canceled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Starting with I honestly think they this is done. I believe so. Yeah, all breakdancing has been canceled. Yeah Yeah, yeah starting with the Olympics, right? Does this look like a gay shirt to you? Yes And it's also the colors are in the wrong order, isn't it? What do you mean? It's Roy G Biv. What is what is this red? What do you mean? It's Roy G. Biv. What is this? Red, yellow, Roy, G, green, B, blue, indigo. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Isn't it normally in the reverse order? Oh, is that how rainbows go?

I mean, it's been a minute since I've seen one. Is the Roy at the top or the indigo? I thought the- How does the refracting go? I thought the Roy was at the top. What's theigo? I thought the- How does the refracting go? I thought the- What's the Pink Floyd album? Did they do it right? Well they did like a- I don't know. Like the prism?

It'd be the same concept. Yeah. Prism. Uh, let's see. Rainbow. Color. Order. I don't know, Sean. Oh, you're right! So this is actually a homophobic shirt. Because the colors- oh, thank Christ. I woke up, I came in the bedroom this morning

and this shirt was laying on the pillow and I said, oh, what's this? My girlfriend goes, I got you a shirt at that thing I went to yesterday. I said, you got me a gay shirt? I mean, that's cool, I guess, but she goes, it's not a gay shirt. Well, it's got a big rainbow on it. That's just what I, I think that's just what guess but she goes it's not a gay shirt. Well, it's got a big rainbow on it

That's just what I I think that's just what we're supposed to think now It's the gays took the rainbow. That's it. There's no there's no denying it. I mean I yeah debating it I Mean super Hitler would have to come along and take there to take the rainbow back. Yeah, that's what would have to happen Right swastika used to mean peace to so did the rainbow back. Yeah. That's what would have to happen. Right. Swastika used to mean peace too. So did the rainbow. Yeah. But then they took it. Yeah, um... I got no problems with a gay shirt.

I just wanted to know why she got me a gay shirt. And she said it's not gay. And I said, well, okay. I don't get what the... I'll ask Sean when he gets here. I don't get the jaws. That, honestly, that's the first thing I thought. I don't know!

Is it some kind of gay? Like, am I gonna gobble you up? Am I gonna gobble up your dick? If you bring it near me? I'll bite that fucker off like Shawshank Redemption? What's what does it mean? Maybe some homosexuals in the audience which I know there are plenty can help me out. I have no idea what any of that means but that's I was like well there's a rainbow shirt. I don't know what it means either. Where am I wearing this? Honey, where am I supposed to wear the gay shirt? Am I wearing it?

Am I going to get hit on by guys if I wear it out? You know what I mean to the museum? Maybe. Yeah, last week. What museum? The Broad. And there was a little man, there was a little gay man carrying a little dog around,

like Shooter McGavin and Dirty Work with his thumb up the dog's ass. Carrying it. I can't, I mean.'t recognize like an art exhibit. That's what I thought I saw Aunt Jemima in the nether room is this like the gay the gay sugar daddy guy. Oh god. He's moving You're real get out of here. I'm going back to the black room Oh god, they're twerking now shit, and then I go to the Chinese people I thought they shard are like I gotta get out of here Oh god, they're twerking now? Shit! And then I go to the Chinese people, Arthur Desjardins! Like, I gotta get outta here! Jesus Christ!

There was a Chinese exhibit too, was there? No, there was just those people, those tourists. So I got a gay shirt. This isn't even the worst thing that happened to me today. Can you believe that? It's only noon. Yeah! It's only noon. And I'm already getting fucking stomped by... Get a load of this, okay? Are we streaming?

I don't know. Let me see. Are we streaming? Muted? Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ You gotta be fucking kidding me! Is that the worst thing that's happening today? The worst thing that happened to me today! Now I gotta splice all the audio and do all this bullshit God damn it! Now I gotta re-upload everything! FUCK! It takes like 3 hours to do that!

Fuck! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! AHHHH! God damn it! I've been meaning to put that stupid thing in the startup menu for FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Amazing. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR have gone on the whole episode maybe I did it we don't I interviewed somebody yeah oh no and I had the I had the stream off for the half of the show like an hour Wow Wow nobody called me oh yeah I know that's when I really yelled at

everybody because it was half my fault but it's half everyone else's fault you know how that works I mean you're willing to you're willing to take half of the responsibility. You have to it's in the chart It's on the chart, but there's like the other half can be divided up amongst dozens of people. Well, yeah, you know So like that's it. Somebody has to take half at all points. Yeah, somebody's got to take half Yeah, right, right or an entity has to take half. That's the blame chart rule. Okay. I figured that out. I pioneered that.

Yeah. Uh-huh. So, you remember when... This is the second worst thing that happened to me today. Right. Uh... Remember when we interviewed Andrew Tate? Or I interviewed Andrew Tate?

Whatever. Remember when Andrew Tate called in? Yes, I do. So he got arrested again? I know. You did know that? I did hear about that, yeah. Okay, that's good.

Yeah. Did you hear about the Mario song? No. Where the princess is a hoe? Oh no no, I don't think so. You don't know what this means? No. I gotta show you that song at the end of this.

Man, I woke up. I'm like, oh no, I got a new hangover song. No! I woke up and I hear, and the princess is a hoe. No, no, no, I don't think so. And that's associated with Andrew Tate somehow? No, no. Totally different.

It's just something that I thought you may or may not know. I thought this might be so big. We're moving on to that. It clears Sean's event horizon, the internet event horizon that is Sean, you're in normal space. Yeah.

And the internet is a black hole. Right, right, right. And I'm just at the, right, right. You're just at the fringe. Where it starts to have an hole. Right, right, right. And I'm just at the... You're just at the... Right, right. Where it starts to have an impact on me, right? Yeah. He might hear this one. This has got escape velocity, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I don't think so, cause the princess is a hole. Nope. Don't know it. Well, alright. Well, it's cool. So, Andrew Tate got arrested for all these new charges. Discord still muted?

Uh, it is. Oh yeah, it is. That's okay. Well... Check, check, check, check. Well, I don't know how to fix Discord. You wanna start the show over at one? No, because that was a good start to the show! I know. Oh god. Is it working now? over at one? No, because that was a good start to the show! I know. Uh... Oh, God.

Is it working now? Working now. Okay. Thanks, Antoids. Okay, so you know how Andrew Tate got arrested? Yeah. For, like, all this stuff that he's obviously guilty of. That he's been bragging about for, right?

I mean, that's... So that's what I said, because every time it comes up, I'm like, you guys, he's obviously guilty. He's like, how do you think pimps work? Cause they kick the shit out of whores. That's why you think, you think chicks are gonna fuck or make, I mean, women don't want to work. I don't know if you've not encountered that in your life,

but- It kind of gives some motivation in certain kinds of ways. Yeah, that's why like half the day has to be filled with HR meetings and talking about your feelings and shit or else women won't just won't Work they'll die. They're like a shark. They'll just like they'll just wither up and die. So The only reason the only reason they're fucking for money or taking their clothes off is because someone's sitting there saying I'm gonna kick the shit Out of you unless you don't unless you do this. I mean, that's how it works I mean, sorry to spoil sorry to tell you how the sausage is made

There's got to be some there's got to be some motivation when you're you know, like most most women would not You think the Jackson Five just really love dancing? No. Right. Joe J.F. You better fucking dance Michael or I'll kick the shit out of you. Yeah, dad's just off stage. And so every time it comes up, I'm like you guys got to stop defending this guy. He's obviously, like, he's obviously guilty. You're gonna look whatever. I don't care. So people will go, what are you?

What are you, part of the Matrix, dick? What are you, part of the Matrix? Or what are you, a feminist? I'm like, no, I know because he called into my show and confessed all of these crimes to me. Yeah, I mean... Personally, right? So I...

He seems to be pretty, yeah, open about it. Braggadocious about it, right? Not in a funny way. open about braggadocious about it, right? I'm not in a funny way. He's just like bragging about it like okay. That's cool. I forget that crimes Do you forget that talking about stuff like on the internet doesn't make it less real? I honestly think that some people think that that where it's like yeah, but it's all online It's like yeah, just a minute. That's no you can't that's not anymore. I think it's all online shit. It's like, wait a minute. That's, no, you can't, that's not anymore. I think it's funny. I like pimps.

I like people who do, I mean, you know, I'm not like Captain Save-A-Ho where I'm out here saying like, oh man, we gotta make sure all these women that have fucked us over for tens of thousands of years get somebody to keep, takes an eye out for them. Somebody keeps an eye out for them. Like whatever, that's the law.

I mean, force it or don't, I don't, don't I'm not the cops so I somebody asked for the interview and I sent it to him and he's this big Tate account and he clips it and it's got as of today it's like three million views but he fucking cropped out all of the show stuff he cropped just take cropped off the logo and didn't give me any credit for it, but my voice is still on it, so the con- I'm talking millions of views,

right? And all the comments are people like, wow, Andrew Tate sucks, but this guy interviewing him is a real piece of shit too. I'm like, what? I didn't beat or rape any women. I'm not pimping women out. I didn't do anything just because I think it's funny. What the fuck is this? I'm the one that got the confession and I'm the bad guy. I'm getting fucking Batman treatment out here. I don't even remember the, I don't even remember much of the conversation.

He was talking about how like COVID is fake and that he takes like, a girl's making him 40 grand a month and he keeps 36,000 of it. And I said, that's generous, right? Like, as a joke? And all the women, and the comments are like, that's generous? What an asshole. I'm like, oh, I mean it is generous for a pimp, you fucking bitch! They take 100%! That's the joke!

Um, how am I the bad guy? How am I the bad guy in this? That guy's a fucking rapist! And a human trafficker! I don't tell, and he's fucking over guys! He's getting guys to jack off to him and taking their fucking money! I don't do that! I'm selling comedy podcasts at $5! How am I the fucking bad guy- that guy's-

If anything, just because I hate women, I've spent my life trying to teach men how to get rid of women! Not to get them- not to attract them! Tate's doing the opposite! He's telling men how to get rid of women! Not to get them, not to attract them! Tate's doing the opposite! He's telling men how to get more women around them! This is a road to ruin! And I'm the bad guy! Well, you just can't win. Yeah! If anything, he loves women!

It's always women, women, women, women, women. You gotta get more women, you gotta get the money for women, you gotta get the fast card for women It's fucking bullshit Wow so millions Viral with no credit again again again My job's his wife said the meanest thing she's ever read was mine. She fucking Screenshot of my tweet and block my name out

Why do you guys think I'm doing this? Right. You fucking robbed me. The guy said, I'm sorry I cut your credit off. I didn't know if you'd want the blowback. What are you thinking? What blowback? Yeah. You live for the blowback.

That's the only thing I want. Yeah. I can't believe it? Yeah. You live for the blowback. That's the only thing I want. Yeah. I can't believe it. Yeah. Again. Again. You cheated me out of my blowback. You cheated me out of my blowback.

You blue balled me, you fucker. Alright, here we go. Wow. You want dick, you love dick, you want dick, you love dick, you want dick, you need dick, you love dick, you want dick, you love dick, you need dick, you got it! It's a show where there's a contest, give me a laugh from Mount and B Mount Bunker deep in the heart of city of Faylor. I'm your host. Fucking imaginary man. I didn't get any credit when me and Vito busted up that trans rights rally either. You busted up a trans rights rally? Yeah, Netflix.

Oh, that one? And they're busting up those queues. Bop bop bop! Bop bop! And it was Vito Giswoldi and- That's right. And associate. And associate.

Like what the fuck? Right. I'm the one that got brained into a fucking concrete homeless structure. Yeah, you're like the unnamed law partners in the- Yeah! Blank and associates. Look at this interview.

Wow, this guy interview is a real piece of shit. Damn. He's as bad as Tate. Wow. As bad as Tate? Ha! Wow. Ha! As bad as Tate? Ha! Ha!

I don't know, man. Fuck you! What did I do? Well, I just think it's funny that women are doing stupid shit. Yeah, it's illegal. Cause they're dumb. That's why those laws exist.

Cause you can just tell them you love them and they'll do anything. They're fucking stupid. So we had to make a law for it. What do you want? Some kind of feminist or I go those laws shouldn't exist oh really okay well and they're all gonna be whores then that's the future you want yeah I'm duped into to whoredom yeah okay okay okay well yeah uh yeah seems like he's just he's just he's in is just, he's in trouble.

Seems like he's in trouble. You definitely shouldn't do a bunch of crimes and then go on the internet and say, I'm in Romania because they don't arrest criminals. That's a bad idea. Yeah, that's right. I wouldn't do that. Yeah. And Ralph, anytime Mexico comes up, he's like, I love Mexico.

I support whatever they're doing here. Yeah. Smart. That's correct. And he leaves it at that. You're doing here yeah like yeah smart that's that's correct he leaves it in Mexico yeah yeah he's like US run by pedophiles blah blah blah blah blah what about Mexico is a great country great government right yeah the cops totally totally everything's aboveboard here it's wonderful yeah everything's aboveboard nice good good that choice okay so that's my gay shirt story. For everyone who's watching the live stream,

I already addressed the gay shirt in the muted section of the show today. Yeah, yeah. Just you can dub it yourselves and make him say whatever you want. And then, and then. God, I hate having to re-sync the fucking audio. Yeah.

You click go, export, and then it's like well, I guess in two hours I'll know if it's totally fucked or not. Oh on the video? Oh man, speaking of breaking the law. Oh baby, I noticed my- I noticed my shower was starting to get limp. You know, the stream.

I was at a point in my showering where I was like, basically on the, like against the wall, the stream coming out was so weak. Yeah, yeah. It's gotta fall on you instead of shoot. Yeah, it's kind of like just spilling out, you know, like a weak cum shot. I'm like, what is, wait a minute, wait a minute.

How is, has my life always been this miserable? Have I always, has my shower always been like this? And of course, helpful, Miss Helpful comes in, she's like, yeah, it's always been like this. I don't think this is- Not this bad. That's not this bad. Like the water pressure in my building changed.

Is their first instinct is to gaslight you, no matter what. Has this always been fucked? Yeah, and it's cause of you. Oh, the cause of you, okay of you. Okay, that's been like that since you put the dog washing thing and Little much I don't think I don't think so. Yeah, it's cuz of you. I'm gonna take it apart I think it's something else. Yeah, I don't think I did this. Uh-huh. So I take it apart I mean not I've been showering for days like this, right? Yeah, like is there is the plumbing in my house getting worse? Like is this having to do with the shit pit

or whatever it is under the house? Oh, right, right, right. Oh man, I can't take another one of these things right now. You'll have a shit fit about the shit pit. A shit fit. Not while Nick and Riley are facing imprisonment, lifetime imprisonment for- Oh geez, right.

Casing people and having cocaine. Riley too? I mean, for the Eric July thing. Yeah, that's still, so the DA has to decide whether or not to prosecute it, which would be really stupid. Yeah. Because like the reason their prosecution rates are so high is because they only pick winners.

You know what? I was just going to bring that up. And that's something, and I mean, I'm assuming that's true in most cities or pretty much all areas because it's like yeah in the US it's like they don't bother to bring charges on something that they have to spend money on and might lose right? Well they'll look bad. Yeah. They only get a certain number of at-bats. They're not gonna like go up there and whiff.

I got this conviction right but no I know there are some if it's like if it's iffy they're like ehh. I was a great prosecutor I got 70% I know there are some, if it's like, if it's iffy, they're like, eh. Yeah, I was a great prosecutor, I got 70% of like, no you weren't. Or more. Yeah. It's like 99 or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have like a higher prosecution rate than China, I think, for different reasons.

Yeah, sure, sure. So. But that's true. I've heard lawyers say that before, like when giving like a background, so it's like, you gotta realize that the DA isn't gonna bring charges unless you know. And because they know cops are retarded and liars, which we can talk about in Nick's case.

Nick dropped a bunch of bombs. A bunch of interesting bombs. What will we talk about later? Yeah, sure. So the prosecutor in Riley's case has to decide to charge him within, I think it's like three months from now? Right. So, it'll expire and then Riley just gets away scot-free and he can live to harass another day.

Uh-huh. Uh, or a prosecutor has to take the totally asinine crime of mean tweeting at somebody. Right. Scissor tweeting at somebody. Right. To court and tell a judge that this is a dangerous, dangerous man. Mm-hmm. So he can get him for, I don't know what the penalty will be.

Uh. 200 bucks, something like that. Yeah, yeah. I don't think, he would be an idiot to prosecute it, but you know, I don't know, maybe Eric July's in his ear, you know. Who knows? Who knows? Uh, maybe he'll have a little letter writing campaign

Was I talking about you know I saw Your oh right, okay good my shower. Oh your shower. Yes, you know I saw this Yesterday I was at a Like a card show a trading card show. Really? Yeah, like Pokemons and baseball cards and stuff. At the same place? Yeah, the whole convention. Because everything card is now under.

Yeah, they'll go to the same place because there's some overlap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, because nobody just before would be like, Pokemon and baseball cards, what the fuck? Yeah. Like, let's go to the kids table. You know, now it's- Yeah, now it's just-

Pokemon's dominant. Oh, I know! It's huge. I know. I don't know anybody who cares about- Baseball cards? Sports cards in general. I don't know who's gonna pick up the,

I don't know who they're gonna sell them to. I don't know. Huh. I don't know. Maybe the government will start buying them. I got, yeah. The government can't let boomers lose money on anything, so. I know, well.

Maybe they'll start buying baseball cards and houses. Like buying up all the guitars and stuff. Oh, you mean the guy, the, yeah, right, the big boomers. Maybe the government will start giving illegal Mexicans and Somalians loans, forgivable loans to buy up boomers' baseball card collections. Oh. Can come to the, get a $30,000 loan so you can buy a boomers baseball card collection. So they don't lose any money.

If I got an eye I'd sell my I'd sell my Patrick Waugh rookie. Is it graded? No I've never I've never had it graded. Oh you gotta get it graded Sean. Yeah. Gotta get a mint. It's the Opeche, so it's more rare than the Tops. Mmm. So it's- Get that shit grated, turn it into an NFT. Yeah, yeah. So I was at this card show, sitting there having some whiskey with my pal.

Yeah. And this guy walks over, this guy comes in from the parking garage and starts violently throwing up, like violently. Like he had just done DMT or something. Like in front of like. This was where? This was at the card convention.

Oh my God. In the parking structure? Right out of the parking structure into like, you know how convention centers have like that lobby like area outside of the rooms where there's couches and stuff. Yeah. And all these, he starts throwing it up like,

blah, blah, blah, you know, over and over, you think it's done, he goes like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, so we're dying, right, because we've been drinking a little bit. Yeah. Trying not to laugh too hard. Yeah.

Because we don't want him to come over and yell at us and throw up on us, right? Well, yeah, I mean, bad breath and everything. And he's, yeah. Throw up, spittle, bile all over you, it's like. And he finishes. You can do that to yourself. Yeah, I can do that. You know, I mean, it's, yeah. Don't worry, up, spittle, bile all over you. It's like. And he finishes. You can do that to yourself. Yeah.

You know, I mean, it's, yeah. Don't worry, buddy. I'll be there tomorrow. Right, yeah. So, which you can't tell somebody in their middle of throwing up. Like, I was like, buddy, I have like some whiskey over here if you want.

I think you need it. Right, you need it. I think you need this, but it, ah. Maybe that's what's going on. I don't know. I can't, you can't really do that, right? Right. I don't want to mess with him when he's been, this guy guy's throwing up. Yeah, I don't want to cause trouble right? Yeah

Yeah, you gotta not everybody has the same sense of humor. Yeah, like me. I'm throwing up you fuck with me I don't care. Yeah, I did this I did this right right I get that too. Yeah, I mean I've told it's like oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, I I deserve this. Oh, yeah So he's done as fucking there's a there's a little puddle of fat Mexican women, the security guards. A puddle. Yeah. Because, you know, they still sit together and like they kind of merge.

Right. I don't know what they're like, I don't know what's the deal with Mexican women, but. Gaggle. Yeah. A puddle. If Mexican women don't grow above like 5'4", then they just become hugely fat. Have you noticed that? Eventually, yeah.

If they can get 5'5", then they can keep it together. But if they don't clear that, man, I don't know what the deal is. No, I mean, you know, there's genetics, I mean, for sure. They're just like, boop like they turn into a circle. Yeah Genetics and diet one of them goes one of them goes. Are you okay? Are you fucking serious? That's your that's your contribution to this poor guy Is there is that's the last thing I've ever wanted to hear throw it bad throwing up for a minute and a half Yeah, are you okay? Yeah.. Oh yeah, I'm great. I do this 24 seven.

This is my normal thing. Yeah. You stupid bitch. That's the best he's felt today right now. You're ruining it with, are you okay? That's funny. What kind of answer do you want for that?

Anyway. So I was messing with my shower. I'm like, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. Right. Cause you don't think it's something you did. You think it may just be, maybe it's corroding inside. Something's happening. So I took it apart.

Water, yeah. And this filter, it had this filter for some dumb reason, was like squishing the little, making it the regulator. Uh-huh. You know? Yeah. So I said, oh, fuck California. I'm going to taking this off.

Yeah, get rid of it. Ripped it all out, put it in. So I've been showering with like a 10 gallons per minute shower. Yeah. All week while I wait for replacement parts. Yeah. Which was awful. Um, but I finally got the replacement parts right. Illegal, the illegal regulator.

California tops it off at 1.8. Yeah. So I got the good stuff, right? I had it shipped through an intermediary at like 2.5. There you go. Oh man. Yeah, I know. Oh man.

Much better. Woo! Yeah. Woo hoo! Yeah, when you can make it hurt, you can make it hurt a little bit, that's a shower. Yeah, now this is getting hot right away. Oh yes!

I love it when it like blasts, like it can blast right through my hair onto my scalp. I'm like, yeah, that's good. I get my hair in there, I love it when it like blasts like it can blast right through my hair on my job I'm like yeah, that's good my hair. They're like. Oh my god. It's already. It's done I got all the soap out all the conditioner out. Yeah, I know it's nice. God There's never there's never enough pressure Every once in a while I'll be in a hotel that will like yeah the water pressure will surprise you and you're like damn this fucking hurts yeah this is too much oh I feel like I'm in Vegas oh god this is really getting this is getting skin tags off yeah nice it's fucking state man yeah yeah yeah yeah but uh we're doing this to ourselves

well I mean but you think the things got but the thing has gotten worse with that little part in there, right? No, it's because it was another filter thing, as I guess they thought I was gonna have, like, peanuts shooting through the shower or whatever, and the filter bent over time, and it fucked up the regulator. Got it, got it. Uh, so it wasn't my fault. So I took that, I woke my girlfriend up, and I was like, Look at this! Ha ha ha! You bitch, you were wrong!

It wasn't me! Um, let's see, here's Tim Waltz. You see everyone who's making fun of his retarded kid? Uh, no. I didn't see it. Oh yeah, he's got this, let me see if I can load up his kid at the DNC so everyone can see how not funny it is. Walsh, Sun, watch my tweet, the first one that pops up. Oh yeah, this is, this kid.

Oh yeah. I'm not- Yeah, no, you're not making fun of it. No, I'm not into making fun like that's one thing like politicians Yeah, fuck them. Yeah, they got swing from fucking gas station. This is my policy You know like it wasn't it wasn't cool when people made fun of baron try as a fucking kid like it's a kid You say fuck them. I say no Whose kids to Iraq and Afghanistan who's gonna be the ones doing that?

These fucking guys. Who's gonna be cutting the penises off of the kids? Who's gonna be sending the cops around to chop your son's penis off? These guys. So when they leave the kids alone, we'll leave the kids alone. How about that? How about that for a deal? Except they're no longer kids at 18.

Even though they really are. Who's gonna be running, who's gonna be, whatever, the next generation when they find out what they can do to torture and maim children. Who's gonna be running that show? Captain Ritardo here. That's who. I don't think he's gonna be running. I think he's gonna be president. I think this young retarded man, because think about it, think about it, think think about it They're putting up the Democrats are putting up guys that you can't you can't make fun of black guy like uh You know God was dementia can't make fun of when I had to cheat to get him in now. They got an Indian woman like ah Next they're gonna have to once the Republicans start running black right yes

Whichever once the Republicans figure that out and start running their own tokens that you can't make fun of the Democrats are gonna have to up the game and start running retarded people. So that any criticism is like, you can't pick on retarded people. That's a good, that's a retarded economic policy. You can't say it's retarded. Well, it's, I do think that our candidates will probably get worse and worse. Yeah. You know, I don't know if it's, I don't know if he's ever gonna run for president. I think he's gonna be straight up retarded. But, well we can only hope. He's gonna run on the Rain Man ticket, right?

Oh, he looks how retarded he is. He must be pretty smart with numbers, right? Jeopardy. That's what he's gonna run on. Yes, right. Why not? You know what? Why not indeed? I mean he's crying. I've seen autistic people that don't behave in this way. Fucking clay. Just because he's autistic doesn't mean he's also not gay. I don't know what he has. He's got a testosterone deficiency, I think. Well how old is he? Is he... I don't know. Is he 19? No.

How old is he? I don't know. He's like a kid, right? Yeah. I don't know how old he is. Everybody went on though. Oh, you gotta leave politicians kids alone. Like man, I'm so sick of this I'm so sick of this shit. Fuck these people. Well that much this guy's trying to take your fucking house. Fuck his whole family. The kids aren't the kids aren't asking for it, you know, unless they're out making in making stupid statements If you're a grown adult, Yeah.

If you're a grown adult, like you can make fun of like, you can make fun of Trump sons. Sure. But like, it wasn't cool to make fun of bear. I mean, like, I just, I wouldn't do it. Like, I just, I think it's, I think it's too easy. I got so much energy today.

It's not, it's not clever. Yeah, but he's like, Errrr, he's going like that. Right, but you can also, you know what, like, pay for the sports he's going like that. Right, but you can also, you know what, like Pay for the sports package, watch the Special Olympics. You'll get more than your- Who do you think is sending the trans guy or lady to the Special Olympics? This motherfucker! Wait, I brought- oh yeah, I brought Tim Walz up for a reason. This is why- this is why I don't think anyone should feel bad making fun of politicians kids. Yeah. Here you go. Here's a quote from Tim Walls. This is the...

Just hot off the presses. Here you go. I think we need to push back on this. There's no guarantee to free speech on misinformation or hate speech and especially around our democracy. Well, that's- I got bad news for you, Ruitardo. Actually, there is. And the first thing. Yeah, that's- The very first one, what the fuck? It's happening!

That's not a smart thing to say. Hate speech or misinformation? You guys just came up with misinformation like four years ago because of that COVID shit! Hate speech has also, I think, numerous cases have been upheld. It's the same. As repugnant as it is, it's still... Why would not hate speech need protection? It doesn't. Nobody ever said, good morning, oh, arrest that guy. They said, oh, and and and and and and and, arrest that guy!

Like, oh, well, we can't. The government said we can't. The last guys said we can't. Yeah. I don't know why. Well, oh well. Yeah. Yeah, the problem is, you have to, free speech has got to be given an incredibly long lead because then it's like, well, now it's a moving thing and a moving thing and it gets that gets that gets it's like a

Minstrel show watching this fucking you're in that interference. No, what is it? Oh, I don't know Might be it's going on. It's probably it sounded Similar but different I can't believe I'm hearing this shit. I don't remember hearing shit like this when I was in the 90s Oh, I remember hearing shit like well, you know, we got a cat. It wasn't the craziness the internet upped everything like What with the rhetoric and stuff? It made it more easily accessible. That's true. Yeah So it's like so people it's causing everybody to have a hissy fit. Yeah, sure. Yeah, absolutely And we got we didn't think in the 90s we don't understand free speech We didn't think that we we didn't think that we we would have to have any of these conversations in the 90s we don't understand free speech. We didn't think that we would have to have any of these conversations in the 90s.

I really didn't. No, no, no. I thought we were worrying about computers turning us into batteries and stuff. Not like this fucking fat clown white minstrel show talking about clamping down on misinformation. Are you high? You're going to arrest every woman in America? Because that's the biggest source of misinformation in history. Tried to blame you for the shower problem.

How much do you weigh? Oh, I don't know. Lie. Misinformation. Officers arrest this bitch! Bring your- bring the double-wide cuffs. Well, you gotta link- Bring the ankle cuffs too. You have to link two pair. Yeah!

Bring the lasso. Officers! The lasso. 911, hello, I'd like to report some misinformation. Uh-huh. Ah. Um... Okay.

Can you believe that? I can't believe that shit. The Telegram guy got arrested too. Who's the Telegram guy? The guy that made Telegram. It's his app. Oh, oh! I don't know much about him.

It's just like a chat app Yeah, that everybody who gets banned from everything uses because they won't kick anyone off because it's owned by this Russian guy So they won't kick like they don't they don't kick our guys off. Yeah, they kick their guys off, you know, right? Okay, so this dude gets arrested in France, yeah because everybody says, you know, you're using Telegram to do like child porn or terrorist shit. Oh, wow.

Because these guys are using a chat app. Because they're using, and you know, iPhone doesn't get arrested or Android doesn't get arrested. The app does, this is like a choke point. Like, oh no, we already got all the other apps in line and you guys are fucking around and you guys won't fall in line. Like, when the government says, hey, we want access to those chat logs, you tell them to go fuck themselves and that's not going to work for us.

Right. Because everybody else says, sure. Everyone else says, yeah, sure. You guys don't. But you guys are saying that we have to do work and we're not really good at doing work. So we're gonna arrest you It's interesting because With back by you know, what's he arrested for? I mean what were all that shit? allowing terrorism Child porn like just a whole gambit Yeah

the reason that the reason that encryption is gonna be illegal and all the reason the reason the bullshit reason that these morons use To make everything illegal he got arrested for like what's the worst? You know, uh, what's the worst thing that you could encrypt? Well bad stuff illegal stuff. Okay, then we got to get rid of this encryption That's the that's their answer for everything. I thought it was interesting because Doing back by well, it's the record, I've brought it up before, the record labels, we gotta, file sharing is illegal. We gotta make sure nobody can share files. Yeah. It's like, what?

Dude, that's... What are you talking about? That train left the station. Now you can try to, as you did... You're trying to put the shit back in the horse here. Yeah, they're trying to put the shit back in the horse and they tried for like 10 years to put the shit back in the horse and they put themselves right out of business basically. Yeah

It's funny now that music is like ubiquitous for ten bucks. Yeah instead of free like what's the I mean? That's certainly not helping the artists. Is it? What's that the streaming shit for ten dollar music fees? Well, these are have changed, but like, yeah. I mean, it's just funny. Like the first, the inclination was to like, no, destroy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like, you know, it was like- Figure out a way to monetize it. Right, like who's advising you?

I mean, but it's what happens when you get a bunch of like 70 year old suits sitting around who all of a sudden are seeing, you know, issues with their monthly income that they've been getting for 30 years. They're doing nothing. Yeah. So doing back buy, the big issue is credit cards, always. Yeah.

Right. Like we have a system where you can purchase the cryptocurrency and then subscribe with the cryptocurrency, but that transaction, people just find very irritating to put it in, to buy 100 of USDC or buy $100 in crypto money and then like use that. They just don't, that's a major step for people. Is it okay?

Yeah, yeah, it's good. Sorry, I'm just looking at you. Yeah, sure. So before okay? Yeah, yeah, it's good. Sorry, I was just looking at you. Yeah, sure. So before the big FTX crash, all these companies were working on doing auto subscription for crypto, like auto buys. Yeah. You buy 10 bucks a month.

They're like, yeah, we got it. Okay. It's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming. So a couple months ago, I was following up on those going, okay, so what's the deal with the recurring buys? We need that. And they said, oh yeah, okay.

Yeah, let's see. Oh, well you have encryption on your platform. Said, yeah, obviously. Why would we not have that? Oh, that's gonna be a big problem for the credit card companies. Right. Oh, really? Why? Like, well, you could be, you know, obviously child born sure you don't support child born do you?

Is this the is this the new like is this the new midwit meme is are you guys gonna wreck this the same way you wreck? Nuclear power by appealing to retards like their biggest families all Fantasies like oh imagine a nuclear pan just blowing up there you go better get rid of it all We're gonna need to blanket the whole earth and fucking solar panels Yeah Sucks sucks. We might have lost this one. Oh You know Fun while it lasted

Suppose was it fun. It was fun. You don't seem like you were having fun. I was having a lot of fun with it. Okay, let's see. 45% of women something? Childless? 45% of women estimated to be childless and single by 2030. Oh, man. The number of single women in the US is expected to rise 1.2% every year. Wow. What are they doing? Morgan Stanley estimates that 45% of women in their prime working years will be single

and childless by the time 2030 arrives. Huh. Man, can you imagine the music that they're going to have to crank out to keep women in line with their, to keep women happy? Huh. Man, can you imagine the music that they're going to have to crank out to keep women in line with their, to keep women happy? Huh. They're going to be, they're going to be 90% on SSRIs that are baked. They're going to have to start putting SSRIs into Starbucks, into the diet, subway sandwiches that Starbucks is going to have to start making.

They're going to have to start making subway sandwiches? Yeah, they're going to have to start making. They're gonna have to start making Subway sandwiches? Yeah, they're gonna have to start making bigger food than they got now! Oh, these women are gonna be eating... Imagine how big they're gonna be in 2030! Well... Single, childless, eating... just eating feelings, right? All day. Om nom nom nom nom! I would guess that weights are gonna continue to...

Rise. Rise. Even without, even with Ozempic. They're gonna have to eat faster to catch up. To defeat Ozempic. To defeat Ozempic. Yeah. Whew, that's a rough future.

Let's see, here's a guy at the DNC. This is a super cop. At the DNC. This is a super cop. Uh-huh. Well, at the DNC. Wow. He does look like a super cop. Isn't he? He's like all roided out. I mean, he's a testosterone freak. He's a pretty big dude. He's coming for your house. Coming for your house. He's coming for your unrealized gains. Cool. He's got all the gains here, see? Right, yeah, big gains. Man, I don't want this guy, why do they even have like, this guy, I don't want this guy anywhere around, any kind of convention.

What the fuck is this dude doing? I don't know. Come chop your kids wieners off. Oh no. Save them for himself. Yeah, he's gonna save himself. So Nick's case, the GPS stuff got thrown out. So no concern for the kids at all. And now it's just, there's cocaine in the house.

Yeah, so now it's a drug charge. Which is, I mean, I haven't really ever changed my position on people having drugs anywhere. Oh, no, I know. Totally insane that that... So now he's up against... I assume he's trying to get the warrant thrown out, right? Like it's done basically under false pretenses, right? Yeah, cop lie.

You have to lie to a judge in order... There is no reason for that. If the cop had been telling the truth, there would have been no reason to grant a search warrant. Right? I mean, that seems like a obvious thing to do. Yeah, if the cop's not telling the truth, then it's out. There is no like, well, they don't ask the judge like,

well, would you have still granted the warrant? They just assume no. No, no. Yes, yes, yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's pretty interesting because he's got this, he's got this Frank's hearing, which everyone said was stupid, but then it got the judge,

it got granted. So obviously it's not stupid. Um, okay, go ahead. The cop said in the search warrant, which was approved in four minutes. So the cop clicked send on the search warrant and the judge approved it within four minutes. I didn't even know you could do that shit online, you know, like through there. Doesn't that seem odd? I thought you had to go like talk to a judge or something.

Yeah, you have to hand some paperwork or something. I didn't know you could just click. So in case I had any questions or anything, I don't know. Yeah, right? I have no idea, but yeah. I noticed that you said you had a Submit. Concerned citizen in here.

Our customer service rep will be with you shortly. Is it like an app that they have? Hey, I gotta go kick this guy's door down. Yeah. Uh... I need express, uh, why grant, because I'm on my way over there, so I'm just, I'm gonna hedge my bets and, and, and,

and guess that it's gonna be granted by the time I get there. Oh shit, there it is! For a fucking ounce of cocaine, you needed a four-minute turnaround time on that? I don't know. Doesn't that seem a little odd? Well, I mean, it's... Like, you're sending out half of the county

to kick in a guy's door over an app. Like that's not a lot of code. It seems incredibly quick for anything to be turned around. Like where it's like, from the time you hit submit to like, yep, totally. Like it's just like, it's like, Oh yeah, could you even there? Could you have read it?

This is the woman judge that went on like a three hour drunk and ran about what a dumb bitch she was the day before, by the way. Nick Rekata. Fuck him. Yeah, right? So the cop said, this is the list of lies. The cop said that a concerned citizen was reporting this. But it was like a guy whose wife Nick fucked who said he hated him.

Oh, Aaron? Yeah, it was this Aaron guy who said, I'm gonna like ruin your life. The cop didn't include that. Like a concerned citizen is not a guy who's going online talking about he's gonna fucking kill you. With a grudge, yeah. I mean, it's like cute shit. It's just, it's midwits doing cute shit

Which I fucking hate and you will encounter this and if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are doing cute shit stop Stop your with your cute. Stop the cute knock the cute shit off. Nobody likes it. It fucks everything up It's just full of cute shit like that. So the cops said It's concerned citizen. Yeah when it wasn, it's like a guy that hates you. And said he's gonna fucking kill you, I'm gonna ruin your life, I'm gonna be like a mob boss when I get revenge on you. It's like, oh okay, so that's a lie. Then it was, the cop included the CPS report saying that there's a danger to kids. Look at this CPS report.

But, the CPS had already come back and said there's a danger to kids. Look at this CPS report. But the CPS had already come back and said there's no danger to kids. But he didn't include that. He just said there's a danger to kids. Look, CPS said- I read somewhere that they didn't, they said this doesn't meet our, this doesn't meet the standard for-

All the pastor's shit? Yeah, for negligence or for like the- How many shit? They're like, nah, that's dumb. Yeah. That's not a danger to kids. That's just what kids are like. I did're like nah that's that's dumb yeah danger to kids yeah i did i did read that that they in the yeah in the the cps report it was like this doesn't meet our remember seeing something reading the line like it was like this does not meet our standard for

something yeah and then the last one was as much as i know about anything in this case. The last one was... fuck. He said he didn't say who Aaron was. He lied about the CBS. Oh yeah! And he said all of this I guess hinges on Nick doing a video where he appears to have like a white powder on his nose. He goes to the bathroom and comes back probably putting you know talcum powder on his balls. That happens to me all the time. I'm always getting my talcum powder confiscated. Yeah. You know? I like having dry balls. Fair enough. This feels a little spicy. You know I like feeling them wiggling around down there. Yeah. Especially at the club. Right. So Nick comes back, got a little

apparently or maybe it's a video artifact. You know I don't know. I'm not like a... I don't know about videos and stuff. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. So, the video is privated, but the cop in the report said, uh, the video is taken offline, but I saw the video. But he doesn't mention that he saw it on a re-upload. Which could be, which could be fine.

Right. He didn't say I saw a copy, but he didn't say it. Right. So all this stuff is like- The assumption is that he saw the original video he's implying no I know that's and this is what that's not what happened though yeah no I really hate that stuff because they they let you they lead you by removing information to a somewhat logical conclusion but it's that way it is the right video but you have to say I

believe it's the right video yeah this you have to say I believe it's the right video Yeah, this is what I remember Maybe the kids are in danger, but you have to say CPS found that there's no danger But I got a hunch you got you got to say that shit And the people that uh-oh what happened nothing and the people that hate Nick are all in on well on justifying the cost behavior It's like you guys you know this is We have these rules for the police for a really good reason oh yeah because they'll just they break the law all the fucking time sure they just want to put you in jail I mean and you guys

are just institutionalized on thinking any drug is necessarily evil just because the government told you that's that's it is. Oh, that's, oh, that'll put holes in your brain. Well, you gotta be real careful when you start granting, you know, stuff that is like, like, is it the Fourth Amendment search and seizure? Yeah. I mean, you got, you really got to, there's, you know, a four-minute turnaround is, I don't, where did you get the, how'd you find out it was's four minutes got way more info does it everybody I mean that seems that seems insane He's got all the crazy about the anonymous complaints. I would think those who they are I would think that the Like I always thought that warrants would be granted in like a day or two

Yeah, I mean like a business day. I have to like I have to review this I have to you know I mean, I might have a couple of questions like a judge can go like oh, actually. I'm sorry. I have to review this I have to you know I mean Do you get like a cooling off period? So the judge can go like oh actually I'm sorry I clicked the wrong button Do you don't go kick in that guy's tour? I don't know man What the fuck four minutes? Four minutes is like a drug dealer Seems very fast Like this guy's got this fucking it's Wesley Snipes from Demolition Man

He's got a bunch of kids tied up in his basement selling slo-mo or something. You gotta get in there Oh, yeah, go get in there. What the fuck are you guys talking about? Four minutes? Something's going on. Yeah, you know, what's- Either that cop knows Aaron or something. Something very fucky is going on. Okay, so if something very fucky is going on,

I tend to believe that happens more easily in a small town than a big city. I don't know anything about where Nick lives or whatever, but there are some- LA couldn't even frame OJ. There are some- You can't get away with that shit. Right.

Who was innocent. Yeah. And, you know, everybody, there are towns small enough to where everybody's in everybody's business. Everybody knows everybody. It's a weird thing. Cops have friends. Well, yeah.

And this guy is a real hard on for Nick. He coerced a confession or some comments out of one of the people that got arrested, April, who said, I invoke my Miranda rights. Like, you know, I want to talk to my attorney. And he's still badgering her for shit. And she answered questions? Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk to my attorney. Oh, and he's still badgering her for shit like and she answered questions Yeah, yeah, yes, I don't know that was in the search word. I don't know it's interesting obviously I hope he gets off

I hope all drug offenders get off for their drug offenses, and I hope the cops who go after drug offenses Pull over the wrong guy and get shot. I mean that's just I mean that's just one man's that's just one man's opinion. You're like you're like you're imprisoning people for doing that. Yeah you're a fucking bad guy. If you're locking people up for minding their own fucking business, you're the bad guy. But you know, we'll see. Your mileage may vary. We'll see. I'm not saying to do it. I just hope that it happens. That's all. Right there you go or at least it gets spooked even better spooks the cop gets a word you don't

hear that much anymore it's like oh no you know the cop got spooked yeah it's like a horse you know the car back yeah the horse got spooked even better I hope that forget the killing part I hope that the cop gets spooked and then cannot get an erection because of PTSD Oh for the rest of their life, right? That's it. That's better I think because he has to live with cuz you gotta live with it, you know, yeah That's all. All right It's not too big a wish

Bad the Taliban just covered all women up and banned singing and dancing so dreams can come true Oh, right. You know, you know that just hang in there. Huh? Taliban just covered all women up in band singing and dancing. So dreams can come true. Ooh. Right, you know. Do you know that? Just hang in there. Ah, Taliban buddies, man. The Taliban buddies.

They know where it's at. Taliban, still around. They're still around. Here's a British police versus a kamikaze fat woman. Oh no. See this? The race wars are kicking up over there. It's a kamikaze fat woman. Man, there's so many of like in the UK where it's like a guy goes to jail for saying it's

okay to be white and then a bunch of pedophiles like get let off with a warning. It's really not and there's not like one or two. It's like every day like what the fuck are you guys doing over there? Here is the fat woman See her in her school. Oh my god. Yeah, and these are the police I don't know they're having some sort of a racist rally the people and the woman is so weighed down by Racism that she's needs a scooter to get around. So she decides to bomb the police. Oh my god. She goes right over.

What is that? The scooter malfunction? Like Anne Heisch? I mean, she obviously tried to drive through the line, right? I mean, like... I what she where's she gonna go? I had the place that they're breaking into have stairs No idea point I am shocked to actually how fast that thing was going those things can move yeah So they usually leave them in like low

Yeah, cuz that was that was moving pretty good We got to see that again cuz they got to move like 700 pounds of flesh. Hard for me to feel sorry for her. It's like she's trapped under a horse now, you know? Yeah. Man, it's pretty funny. We got to mobilize our fat oldsters. Yeah. Get out there. fat oldsters. Yeah.

Get out there, ram those lines, you know? Ram those cops. Get in your hover round. Hover round sponsored terrorist event. That's amazing. Okay. Nine people stabbed at a diversity festival. That's pretty cool.

By one person? I don't know, let's see. I mean, I would assume so. That's pretty cool. By one person? I don't know. Let's see. I mean, I would assume so. It's a lot of stabbing, man. You get blood on your... After a couple stabs, your hands are too covered in blood, right? Maybe.

It'd be hard to stab again. Nine people stabbed at a festival of diversity. We gotta stop having these. Wasn't the Hamas festival that was like a festival of peace? Yeah. Remember that? Okay. Is this the stabbing or is this the video of the street?

Well, there's a lot of, you know. That was your video, a video of cops? Great video, man, thanks. At least nine people stabbed at a festival of diversity. In Germany, the attacker has been described by eyewitnesses as an Arab man. Huh. I wonder if it's an odd way to say white.

Suspects still at large after mass stab. Is that true? Did that really happen? I don't know. So Hamas attacked the Festival of Peace, I think. Remember that in October? Yeah. And then you got diversity festival happening.

I think we got to start chilling out with the festival names. Festival of mirrors, you know? Yeah, where it's like, what is it? Ooh, what is it? In order to not upset the terrorists. Maybe so, you know? But then they win, Dick.

That's okay. They already won. It's just terrorists versus bankers now. I mean, somebody's getting my house. It's not me. It's either gonna be a bunch of communists or a bunch of terrorists. Yeah. Do you care? I get a 50-year mortgage. Oh, thank God the terrorists didn't get my house. Right? Oh, man. God forbid.

Are your commercial real estate okay, though? Oh man, God forbid. Are your commercial real estate okay though? Oh, thank God. Right, right. Taxes only on the rich. Let's see here. I guess there's a lot of funny political stuff happening. Oh God, my least favorite thing ever. What about RFK? Do you think that's funny? I mean, he's like absurd. But yeah, like, yeah, he's that's awesome, though. He's insane. I mean, he's got too much HGH or you

don't think a 70 year old man should be doing incline press at the Muscle Beach looking like an action figure? Yeah, that's a little odd. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You see how he's like chainsaw cutting off the Head of a whale and making his kids help him do it. You see that story. Oh, no dealing coke in college Honestly, I hate his policies, but he's fucking awesome. He's doing a he's doing a ton of crazy shit shit Yeah, I know you like bad shit taxes Yeah, that's why I thought Andrew Tate was funny. And I'm the bad guy, because I got the confession out of him. Crazy. All taxes start on only the rich.

Oh yeah, okay, so this is percent of households filing an income tax return. They're trying to tax a hundred millionaires now, and people who are not retarded say it's dumb, because they know that they're just gonna start taxing everyone on realized gain shit I I mean, I've always thought that it just They squeeze who they can and then they do everyone what I mean they squeeze who that yeah, which which is every who's who's uh

Who has fewer options to fight that people who aren't middle-class people. Yeah. That's why there's no middle class. Yeah. The millionaires will figure out how to get around it. Because we know what you guys are doing. But this is only attacking, we're only attacking billionaires. Well, and corporate tax. Why are you guys still nuts on Black Lives Matters then? Because that doesn't apply to you.

That's just black people getting shot. So why are you always crying about that then if it doesn't apply to you? They? Um... You're- they're going after 100 millionaires, so then they can say, Oh yeah, we're gonna tax the unrealized gains on your house, too. So if your house went up, because we've been fucking with interest rates and the economy, you're gonna have to pay that, or we're gonna take it! Uh, dude, uh, yeah. That's obviously the fucking plan! We all know it's the plan!

And they're like, oh! Why are these guys defending billionaires? Like, no, we're defending our fucking selves! Why would they not want more? Mm-hmm. This is a percent of households filing an income tax return. From 1913, they started income tax. They said this is only for millionaires.

Yeah. It's only for the top 1%. And then up until now. To 2000. No, to 2008. To 2008. Right. So it started with, if you see on the graph,

you know, 1%, the top 1%. And we had World War, and what do you know, jumped up to 40%. Okay, knocked it down to 20%. This is now 20% of America. 20 years later, 20% of America. In 20 years, it went from 1 to 20. Sure. Who could have seen that coming?

And then... And now Great Depression. Yeah coming and then and now great depression Yeah, and then 1940 spikes all the way up as from as you know that it would right? We're a world war two and we started, you know, people got jobs We started building equipment from selling to you know, and then they get women in there so we can we tax them too Yeah, then we joined the war and it was everything was yeah, so it went from 20 to 140 percent Percentage? How could you have? Because it's households and there's multiple people in a household. Oh you're talking

oh see but that's households so okay. No that's an important stat that means man, wife, that means every mother fucker. So it's more yeah there are more people than houses obviously. More people than hounding up the yeah okay yeah I got it. And it's it tapered it went down after World War two to a nice respectable 120 percent households And it's been kind of about there ever since they just found this way of They just found this way of taking the 1% tax and making everyone pay it called starting a world war So I mean unless they forgot how to do that. Are we somehow limited that, I guess we're gonna be fucked on that one too. Awesome, thanks. All right, let's see if I have anything funny.

Oh, that's just depressing stuff. Oh, okay, woman alert. Two comments. Woman alert. Slopagandapropist says a woman doing her nails starts a condo on fire.

Damages 25 units. Oh god. This is why what Andrew Tate did is illegal. Because this woman doing her nails caught an apartment complex on fire. Nail polish remover and up in... Who knows? Woman doing her nails caught an apartment complex on fire. Nail polish remover and up in... Who knows?

Woman doing her nails starts firing condo damages 25 units. Oh, that's amazing. Uh, woman doing... Yeah, according to the fire department, flames broke out at midnight. She was... Ah! Fire people say that she was using a burning tool on her fingernails. A burning tool.

Like a fire? What the fuck? A burning tool? What is it? Like a curling iron? What's a burn? Like a blowtorch? Yeah, right. Is this bitch using a fucking blowtorch for her nails? Does that cure the nail faster? Like a butane torch for... Man. A burning tool. torch for her nails? Does that cure the nail faster? Like a butane torch for, uh, like... Man... A burning tool.

You hear crazy stuff coming out of the woman's bathroom. Like a drill on fire? Like... Did she make it herself? Yeah. That's a very odd description. She caught some of the overflow in a container. What? And thought she had it under control. Who wrote this? Another woman.

Yeah, Jennifer Edwards-Bake. Some of the overflow. We got two fucking idiots. When something began to melt. She caught some of the overflow. Some of the overflow of the thing that melted. When something began to melt. Bro, this is how a caveman would describe something.

The caveman lawyer. She was using a burning tool. Right. Fire. Do you have a man editor or something? You could say what? Like a blowtorch? This is horrible.

Draw it. Yeah. Draw what it looked like. Well, you know, fires, golfing out. Right. Fucking handles. There was a handle. Yeah.

And the tool had a point and the fire would golf out everywhere. Like, what are you fucking talking about? You're a writer? What do you think your job is? had a point and the fire would golf out everywhere. Like, what are you fucking talking about? You're a writer? What do you think your job is? Is this AI write this? Oh, look at that. Fucking four names in the, or three names in the credits.

Jennifer Edwards, yeah, Peyton Marshall, okay. All right, good job, guys. She caught some of the overflow. Yeah. Of the fire caught some of the overflow. Yeah. Of fire? Of the melted thing. That was- that was melted. What?

Cause something began to melt that was a- a burning- that was ignited by the burning tool. It's like Bring Your- Bring Your Kid to Work Day? This is- And thought she had it under control, but it got so hot it caught fire and ignited. What the fuck are you talking about? It caught fire and ignited. What the fuck are you talking about? It caught fire and ignited? When something began to melt, your fingernails? She's using a burning tool on her fingernails

when something began to melt. What a fucking idiot. Was it the tool or the nails? I don't know. Was it unrelated? Was it something on the stove? Was it the nails? I don't know. Was it unrelated? Was it something on the stove? Was it the counter? Yeah!

Flames ended up go- Flames ended up? That's how you're writing news stories? Yeah, yeah. Flames ended up go- What the fuck? Yeah. Horrible. That's the end of the story! See what happened was. That should be the start of the set of the news story. Man. See what happened was flames ended up going up-

Fox 12. Jesus, bro. Flames ended up going up the wall. Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me of her condo over the firewall separating her unit from the from others, not much of a firewall. Yeah, seriously. And then into the attic, a portion of the second floor collapsed onto the first floor, authorities said. Jesus.

Dozens of residents were displaced in the blaze with a total of 20... Okay. So I have no information. Other than what I had. I don't know what she was using. She's doing her nails and something started a fire. That's... That is spectacular reporting.

Two immigrants in one. God. Wow. Why do you want to get into journalism? Oh, I don't know. It's the easiest thing ever. Yeah, it's easy. Apparently.

I just want to like have my name on there. Oh, what do you think is important about journalism? You get your name on there. Yeah. And then you say to people like, I'm a journalist. Right. We're uncovering the truth. See?

Right there. What's the most important part about writing? Ohing the truth. See? Right there. What's the most important part about writing? Oh, the truth. Is it? Yeah. Grammar is kind of important too. Yeah, is it like conveying an idea and stuff? Yeah, the information.

Yeah, that's right. For somebody who has no familiarity with the event. See, I should be able to know kind of... Oh, man. Oh, man. That is... Great cards. Man, if I can... But it's not...

You can't make fun of Tim Walz's son. I can't wait to die. Oh, dad! My dad is taking your house! My dad is gonna take your house! I guarantee you he writes better than that. I'm not allowed to laugh at that? Oh, you can laugh.

Once I'm getting taken to the re-education camp, am I allowed to laugh at the retarded guard that will kill me for making racist jokes? You won't want to laugh anymore. You'll see the error of your ways. That's the only thing they can't take away from me. Am I allowed to laugh at the retarded guards beating me to death? Wearing Kamala Harris masks? Stop blabbing! Stop blamping it to me! That's not funny! That's not funny! I mean, if you can get a couple chuckles out of it, I guess I'll give you that. It's not! You shouldn't be picking on me! I'm the extent of a politician! Okay.

Take me to jail. Tall Goose says my doctor's office had extra wide chairs for fat people. It's about one and a half normal chairs in width. Yeah. Interesting. I've seen them. I've seen them. I've seen them.

I've actually got, god, these chairs are wide. Not in a doctor's office, but I have noticed that like, I don't know where, but I can remember just having that thought like, my god, who are these chairs for? What are these chairs for? Oh, wow. Look at that. Yeah.

That's a beefy chair. Well, there's, yeah. Wow, wow, we wow. Look at that shit. Okay. Yeah. They're all neck, they're all different too. Why is that?

Well. They're all out of stock on the fat people chairs or what? You just pick your size, I guess. Oh, this is for super fats? Yeah. Infinite fats? Yeah. I couldn't stop laughing at that infinity hoop thing.

That was pretty great. Yeah, I got to show you the fat biker later. Oh, yes. The fat bicycle rider. She's funny. Okay, this is from Cam. Remember that guy who wrote in asking if he should move to Colorado?

Yeah. And we said, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got an update from him. My brother just got arrested last year for getting pulled over with half a pound of wax. Thank God we have a rich dad who got him off. Went to probation.

He went to break up with the lady he was dating, but he kept saying he was gonna kill. Oh, she kept saying she was gonna kill herself. She left him. So he left her and then she set him up. She had four dudes pull up on him and jump him at a house party. They stole an Xbox and other stuff and then put him on the street corner bloody and knocked out. Called the cops because he was doing all of it. Can't prove otherwise. Now he's looking at 25 years because of all those previous charts get out of where you live leave and never look back where where was he where was he living I don't know

yeah somewhere that's not Colorado right somewhere where the Jesus yeah so we were right yikes that seemed like youikes. That seemed like you should be, you seemed like you should be moving. Chris says, taxpayer funded protesters in London asking straight white men to pass the power. Oh, let's see. That could be kind of fun to have around.

Oh. This is in London. Oh! Hey, straight white men, pass the power. That's real? That's not AI? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. The bus stop is calling you out.

I don't know if the bus stop is the great place for this ad. Right, I don't think too many straight white men are going to see that. With power! Right? Oi! What's going on here? Yeah. Oh, I should pass the power? Oh, I don't know about that. With power. Right? What's going on here? Yeah. Oh, I should pass the power? Oh, I don't know about that.

Wow. On the side of a building in the ghetto. I guess that's real. Yeah, these ads are targeting minorities. This is like the most basic hate speech possible. Hey, minorities, white men are the problem. That's hate speech, bro. Just see.

Are you kidding me? I mean, it's certainly vilifying a group. Yeah, hey, black people, stop stealing bikes. That's identical to this poster. I mean, it's... Yai, yai, yai! I'm assuming that's real, because it's, you know...

Hey, that picture's pretty good. Usually AI would fuck up the spelling. I guess. I mean, we won's pretty good. Usually AI would fuck up the spelling. I guess. I mean, we won't be able to tell soon enough, you know, without some serious investigation. Straight white people, did it say? I think it said men. Oh, art charity?

Exhibition artwork. Huh. Oh, it's an artwork. Yeah. Okay. What's the artwork? Well, that's like, it's supposed to, it's supposed to invoke some kind of feeling in you, right? Like, which it obviously did. Yeah. Uh, annoyance is the feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was funded by, oh, okay, so it's just like government propaganda. Gotcha. Arts Council, yeah. Huh, and they're having some kind of race war over there.

That's crazy. Wonder why that's happening. Oh, cool. Cool, Link. Swag Jackson says, hey Dick, Ryan here, long time fan. In a recent episode, you said if someone did a big Chungus song, you would play it on the show. So I made one, it's 40 seconds.

If I get a plug, tell them it was sent by Baka Neko Beats on YouTube thanks for the comedy okay let's see about your Chungus song cool slow start okay there we go What a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy,

what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big chunky boy, what a big Hmm. What do you think? It's what I would imagine a Chungus sounds like. Mm-hmm. Maybe a Chungus and like his kids singing or something? Yeah, which is the Chungus of those two?

The big one, I think. The deep one. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Could be. Could be deceiving. I don't know. It's terrible, but I think it was trying to be terrible. So I give it an eight out of terrible-ness. Okay.

Pretty good. Pretty terrible. There could have been some annoying, you could have put a siren in it. You missed out on some easy terribleness points there. Could have had a grinding, a grating sound in the background, you know, one of those. Shot it straight to 10.

Yeah, that would have been. Like a really bright shaker or a. Maybe a seven actually. sound in the background you know one of those shot straight to ten yeah that would have been like a really bright shaker or a seven actually I'm gonna downrate you a little bit yeah cuz it got kind of catchy in the middle gotcha the two voices going non harmonic non harmonized if that were a an Australian An Australian breakdance performance. Zero. Okay. Yeah, okay. Well, thanks for the submission. Spider has an animal corner. Really? Yep.

Sean's animal corner. Sure. We'll do a big one next. I need more facts. I only have one this week. Oh, okay. This is a one-on-one spider. He sends in a lot. Really? Okay.

Yeah, he's like a... Let's see how I do. One-on-one. Did you know... Here it comes. Uh-huh. Did you know that walruses can whistle? No.

I don't... Spider wins. No. Good one. I did not know that a walrus can whistle. No. I don't... Spider-Winds. No. Good one. I did not know that walruses can whistle. Wow. Skunked. And do they... How is it true? I don't know.

Well, I mean... Animal corner. Do they use that as communication? I would assume if they can, then they do. I mean, yeah. Yes, walruses can whistle, huh. They're among the most vocal of the... Penipeds.

Penipeds? Yeah, penipeds. Fin-footed animals. And produce a variety of vocalizations. Yeah, I mean, I've heard the big this snorts and the, you know, but I've, I don't know what a walrus whistle sounds like. Grouts, taps, knocks, grunts, barks,

rasps, clicks, groaning, roars, and blowing bubbles. Male walruses also produce bell-like sounds. What? That come from air sacs? Wow, their women must be really annoying. Look at all those things they can make noise with. And they're so fat, right? Nope, never did not know that.

100% skunked on that one. Good job, Spider. Let's see, send in something next week. We'll see, let's get a, you know, like an Ash and Gary rivalry going here, an animal fact. Brock says, my wife has no concept of length measurements. Okay, this better not be a penis video. See here.

10 and a half meters is 450 yards. Nailed it. Wait, wait, what? 10 and a half meters is 450 yards. Wow. No. Not even close. No. 10 and a half meters is 450 yards. Wow. No. Not even close.

No. 10 and a half meters is 450 yards. Nailed it. 10 and a half meters. 10 and a half percent correct. Did I actually? Yep. That's it.

You got it. What are you? Well, she does know when she's being fucked with. She caught onto that at the end. But not enough. You know, with these women questions, they figure out they're being fucked with, but their first reaction is never, you're fucking with me, right?

She had to wait for his insincere, deadpan response before she's like, yeah. Here is, look at this. These were called track marks. In Nick's arrest warrant, he's um... Here is, look at this. This is the... These were called track marks. In Nick's arrest warrants, it's... He's uh... He's high as a kite and he's covered in track marks. Bro, I get mosquito bites that look just like that. Everyone does. Like, where it's like, where it's not even... Where they're like, you're scratching them and they get like... Yeah, and it's amazing. As I've gotten older, like like the red spreads more than it did when I was a kid.

I don't know if your skin changes, but. Usually you put track marks. Is that Nick's arm? This is Nick getting arrested, yeah. Yeah, I mean I. Isn't that crazy? I mean. Usually track marks go on a vein,

not just in the middle. Yeah, I mean, those look go on a vein Not just in the middle Yeah, I mean it's a skin those look like those look like bug bites to me And if there's I mean I do know that Minnesota has hellacious mosquitoes. Yeah. Yeah, pretty obviously chiggers, you know Yeah, yeah, okay Let's see here Lf L LC Fisk says here's a woman. Woman can't figure out how to back her Jeep into the water to retrieve a boat. Oh no, dude.

I mean, I've seen this. Nightmare scenario. There's a, yeah, I see a lot of people. Fuck this up. Good God. Wait a second. I think we've got time. She's actually gonna jackknife it.

So she's got, yeah. So the woman has a Jeep. She's backing a trailer into the water. For one more. Jeep's having trouble, bud. Yes they are! Yeah! They're real, Dad! Uh-oh. She's got the trailer in. That's pretty good.

She's got the trailer about two feet underwater, though. That's gonna be a problem for the floating boat. Don't need to be that deep. Oh, she's not stopping. She's got the Jeep in the water now. Yeah. Now she's getting out. She's a big fat woman. Hashtag pull up. Yeah. Now she's pulled the trailer totally out of the water. Why? This is left or right. They're liable to go through the back of that Jeep and this is gonna be real Yeah, he's 100% right. The wheel wells are too far underwater And now she's got the trailer back entirely in the water again. Yeah

Okay. Yeah, the problem is is that you put even if you don't go through the Jeep You're floating over a meal well when you pull that thing out. It may rest it may not center Yeah, so Now she's pulling it in by hand yeah she abandoned right then the guy gets out oh god she backed up what's going on oh my god it's like what are you doing wow yeah that was unbelievable yeah that's Whoo Well Advice okay Hey, Dick don't say my name on the show advice is my girlfriend's sister has bigger tits. Oh, uh-huh I've been dating my girlfriend for nine years now. So you're gonna try to do the switcheroo

That's more than like the the roommate swap on Seinfeld. Yeah, you're gonna have to kill her, buddy. Ooh. That's the only way to get this swap accomplished. Don't say my name on the show if you read this. I've been dating my girlfriend for nine years now. And if you're wondering why I haven't married her yet, I was not. Never occurred.

Never. In my 10 million years, I would never have wondered that. Yeah. I believe you. Yeah. It's. I would never have wondered that. Yeah, I believe I believe you yeah It's because I've listened to your show. Okay, good outside of normal disagreements that come with any relationship It's been going great, and I have no serious issues with my girlfriend It's odd The problem is her younger sister She has nice looking D cups

and my girlfriend has okay looking B cups. I've always been a big fan of huge tits and although my girlfriend is very attractive, I can't look past the fact that her sister has bigger breasts. Well, you're in quite a quandary here, buddy. It's funny. Her sister isn't even that hot besides the breasts.

She looks like a chubby version of Ugly Betty. Oh. Ugly Betty's already chunky. Is chubby, is that higher than chunky? You have to ask Chungus. She a Chungus? Right. You working on a Chungus over there? Right. Is she a Chungus? Right. You working on a Chungus over there?

Right. Is she cutting a record? She looks like a chubby version of Ugly Betty, and I barely talk to her outside of pleasantries, so there's no emotional attachment. These aren't fat chick tits either. Well, you don't know that, because she has been skinnier before, and she looked great, even though through the years she's gotten a bit fatter yeah those tits somehow shine

through her thickness mmm no that's not right it's definitely fat tits you're you now you're now you're gaslighting me well she may be you know she may be young enough too, where it's not gonna... It's going to get worse. My real problem though is the fact that whenever I visit my girlfriend, who still lives with her parents, I'm distracted by the huge boulders on her chest

and I can't keep my eyes away. Huh. Her family had started to notice that I act weird in recent years whenever they invite me to dinner, but for now they just think I'm a weirdo in general and don't ask too many questions. Well, you are a weirdo if you're doing this.

It helps that her dad and I have collected, have done electrical stuff in the past in my house. So at least he knows I'm not a serial killer or a sex pervert. This is how Mexicans bond by the way. Doing maintenance together does wonders. Yeah, my girlfriend has also noticed that I act weird, but she thinks I act this way because I'm bored

and I hate her family. And because of this, she doesn't really want to invite me over to her house or any family events. Problem solved. Kachoo, stumbled right into the Holy grail. Although she is partially right, I can't just tell her that her sister's giant cans are too attractive. And if I can't just tell her that her sister's giant cans are too attractive.

And if I'm to continue my relationship with her, at least I need to keep some composure around her family. What is going on here? This is one of the strangest letters I think we've ever gotten. I'm not asking to do some Seinfeld level bullshit. My girlfriend is great. Like, you know, my girlfriend's great.

I have no problems with her. We get along great. Her tits aren't that big. But it's like, but then- I could understand if it's like- The sister's tits, it's just like, I just can't, it's all consumed. I can't stop thinking about them. White whale. You gotta go to a strip club or something. You have to replace this with pornography. Something. There's chicks with way bigger tits who are skinnier out there. You just gotta find

them. Go on OnlyFans. If you want some kind of weird pseudo relationship There you go. Go on OnlyFans. Yeah. Talk to some Indian guy pretending to be a fat Mexican girl with huge cans. Oh, that's what happens? They're getting sued for it. Yeah Where I'm trying to sister switch just to bang her sister. What I'm asking is how the hell do I move past the fact that My girlfriend's sister has a bigger rack. They're not that big Maybe I will wait for her to get fatter. It doesn't sound like you even care about that. Any advice?

Alright, is- has he said anywhere that he's autistic? No. Because- Isn't that odd? Yeah. Any advice would help a great deal because believe it or not, this has been haunting me for a few years now. Okay. Haunting? Haunting? He used the word haunting. Haunting. Haunting by tits. Right.

Additional info. I've tried talking my girlfriend into breast transplants. They do that now? Transplants? What? But she's afraid of all surgical procedures. You don't want that. It's not... They mess... They get messed up. Does he mean enhancement? Yeah, they could easily mess them up and then you're fucked. You gotta start dating a girl with fake tits. You can't build your own.

You can't build a bear yourself. Build a bitch yourself. Because they'll mess it up and then you're like, ah fuck. It could be because I've not sold it hard enough. Don't, don't sell it. Sold it what? Not sold what?

Oh, oh, the, oh the- The boob job. What's wrong with you? I've also never laid- See how old he is? No, he didn't. Like they've been together since they were like in like- Nine years?

They were, but they could have been together since they were in like junior high school. You know what I mean? Like he could could still I just Also, I've never laid seems a little bit insane to me This is honest. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no psychotic way. Just like it's like what oh like We might be playing it up. But clearly he's got an issue here. I don't know that he's playing it up Also, I've never laid with a big breasted woman before

Well, really that's a that's a problem. But what you will find Like all encounters with women is that it's disappointing Let me go ahead and let me go ahead and fix that read. Read the last page for you. Yeah, this is how that book ends. Oh, it was disappointing. Oh, God. Disappointing in a different way. Oh.

Well, go fuck yourselves, which is for Sean. As you go through life, you will realize that, even as creative as you might be, there are plenty of ways to be disappointed that you have not thought of. Oh yeah. And all they do all day is think about how to disappoint you.

I didn't know how disappointed I would be in this. I always thought that when this happened I would just be overjoyed. It's like, wow, that was disappointing. You'll find that. It's a very common theme as you get older. I didn't know that you could move that little during sex. Wow. Amazing. How have you mean getting by for this long

Everything where you're just like I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed turns out it wasn't good. Um Here's what you need to do Okay, it's not the grass is always great. There is no grass. No grass. There's no grass. We're all slowly Starving to death and if you say that there's no grass. There's no grass. There's no grass. We're all slowly starving to death. And if you say that there's no grass, you'll get shouted at and screamed at. Right, because some people haven't come to terms with that yet.

And it makes them angry. See, and I'm the bad guy. Interchains out there saying, oh yeah, this is what women want, this is what women want, and I'm here just going fuck women. And I'm the bad guy somehow. I'm saying, stay the fuck away from me.

Yeah, you're not- I'm not taking advantage of anyone. I don't know that you've trafficked or raped or done any of that kind of stuff Oh god, I got stuff to do. I gotta fix my shower. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to go out trafficking and raping Oh god, it's so it's a really I mean talk about a full-time job You got to move to Romania because they don't prosecute you. Can't get in trouble in Romania That guy has serious mommy issues, to be honest with you. Like, why are you so into... how do you even tolerate all this shit? Dad. You got me. You're going after a 15 year old girl?

How do you get it up? Unbelievable. Here's what you have to do. Because this is clearly causing you problems. Next time you go to a family event, the first thing you do when you get there is jack off. Go into the bathroom and jack off, and then you're not gonna feel any sort of, it's just gonna be an annoying fat woman.

You know, you gotta clear your head. Don't do it before you get there. You gotta do it right when you get there. That critical, that 10 minute refractory period is key to building a disattraction to the woman. This is actually not the worst advice I could have come up with. This is great. Make sure the door is locked,

or put a bottle on it or something so you know if somebody's coming in, it falls off. But you gotta jack off when you get to her house. Make sure no burning tools are on in there. And then come out and immediately talk to the big-titted sister. Right. And you, I mean, there's a one in a billion chance that this will backfire and you'll be attracted to her.

Right. But based on my experience, you will be less attracted to her forever because of that critical moment. You gotta biohack yourself. But based on my experience, you will be less attracted to her forever because of that critical moment. You gotta biohack yourself. That is a very creative solution. It's actually, it's pretty good. Yeah, I'm giving out good solutions for men.

I'm gonna go ahead and endorse that. Because it doesn't seem like there's any other way. No, you gotta do it. You have these abilities built in. Yeah. Oh, I came, I hate you now. Yeah. Just not interested.

Yeah, not interested. I don't want anything to do with you. Which clearly, it didn't work with your girlfriend, but guarantee you it works with that one. Get her to talk about something annoying. Ask her to talk about Love is Blind. Bust a nut, walk out there, go, hey, tell me what happened on Love is Blind this season.

Love is Blind UK, talk to me about it. Yeah. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, right? I got 10, I'm on the clock, you're on the clock. You got 10 minutes, tell me everything you know. You'll feel your irritation level rise. Not, yeah, just because of the meandering. Which one's your favorite couple?

Yeah, okay, okay. Yeah. What do you think about Kat? Tell me what you think about Kat. You like her? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, tell me. I don't know this show. I've heard of it.

Yeah. You're addicted to it, aren't you? Yeah, cause it's a hilarious prank show. But the UK one, the women aren't as fat, so it's not as funny. Really? Yeah. They got a couple fatsoes,

but the American one, it's like freaking hippo. It's Madagascar. Wow. And then these guys, they're falling in love with, these guys are just deranged and they're falling in love with these gigantic slobs. Sight unseen, all this love is blind. They're like Megan Fox, right?

Yeah. And then they see them and they're like... Oh, right. They see it like... But then they do all this shit afterwards because they can't say it's a prank show. Oh, we talked about this before. I think I made a mega-Fox joke.

Yeah. That was... Okay. It's great. Okay. Thanks for the advice question. And let us know how it works out. Yeah. Very interesting. Here we go. Thanks for the advice question and let us know how it works out. Yeah, very interesting. Fat Watch is today in fat news.

This is the robot engineers. Is Fat Watch alone in the hotel gym? Hmm. She doesn't do any exercise. She just steals food. Okay. Feeling all kinds of- We've seen this one, I think.

We have? I believe so, yeah. I have the hotel gym to myself. I remember that. Oh yeah, okay. Maybe we did. Yeah, I think so. Worst chandelier ever, he says. Send me some stuff that's like got writing attached to it. Oh, not available. Damn it. Like articles about how being fat is cool, stuff like that. Sweet. Okay, here's one. The Uber driver refuses to take fat women to the airport. Okay.

Let's see. I'll take care of it. It's not going to fit. It will fit. How will it fit? What's inside the luggage that you're traveling with? I'm going to Miami. I have... You're... or it's not her?

No, it's me. And I'm late. We have to go. This luggage can't even fit, let alone... It's fine. Let's try the back seat. It can't... try what? That's not how it works. So if... where? This luggage can't even fit in the car,

let alone anything else. What is this guy's deal? Let alone anything else. Let alone, I thought it was her, it's not you. It's me. Oh, you're different. No, this is, what's the difference? There's a huge difference, big difference, gigantic.

No, there's a huge difference, big difference, gigantic. No there's a very gigantic difference because if you how? Because when I came I thought it was her. We could put this in the back seat and I can get in the front. Okay put the bag in the front I can sit back here. Everything will be out of balance now. Please no no. Is this real? Everything will be out a balance now. Please no no, dude. This is real? Everything will be out of balance now? It's like, well you know, you've taken flight lessons and stuff. Where you have a small single engine plane. You absolutely need to know where the axis point is. It's all important. I wouldn't take a bitch that big up and assess them.

Distribution, you know, I mean. Maybe hauling it below, like Dumbo Drop drop but not in the seat next to me. Yeah All the things is beeping now are you I can fit we're gonna make it work we can't sorry we can't It's no cuz my I just changed my tire New tire got a brand new tire. What? Is that real? I'm late.

I'm late. I have to go. This small car, the sensor, once anything is out of whack, the sensor will start going off. What? Between the sensor and the suspension that I changed. This is a car. It's made for people to ride in.

No, people can ride. Like, three people to ride in People can fit in here, but what are you know three people can fit in here, but I can't fit in here No, but our people are not created equal now what no yeah, that's fake. Yeah, no, I mean maybe not I don't know but it seems a little fake to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah She's running out of she's running out of improv skills. Yeah, no shit. Okay, fat logic. Let's see here. Added sugar is the only way... This is from Mr. Scurvy. Added sugar is the only way to get the glucose your brain needs. Oh, great. Amazing how evolution works, huh?

Yeah, before we refined sugar. Right, right. None of us were, yeah. Unhinged to me that medical science has known for over a decade that humans need at least 120 grams of glucose per day to maintain baseline brain functions. But diet culture continues to insist that 36 grams of added sugar per day is the max. Eat the candy, it'll make you smarter. Got it. Okay. Oh, there's a whole Fat Logic, Fat Brain board. That's cool. Oh yeah.

Weekly challenge. Doctors don't know about such things. Man, things are, fat women are going wild on Facebook. I hope this is okay to ask. I started to love my body finally after 32 years this past year and become content with what it looks like and what anyone else thinks. But I recently went to the doctor and my cholesterol is high. What do they mean by high?

And I need to do aggressive weight loss which triggered me completely And now I'm feeling guilt around food and shame again. Any advice? Doctors often don't know much about such things. Yeah, that's true. They like to suggest weight loss for just about everything. Cholesterol is often generic. Oh. Genetic.

Oh, genetic. Which is that it's true. Yeah. So some people, yeah. So I was drinking Oreos. I dieted for like 30 years and my cholesterol was high. I haven't had it checked since starting IE. I don't know what it will look like.

Intravenous eating. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. It's just a bunch of fucking instant breakfasts just mainlining into it.

So you can eat while you're eating. Mmm, I'm eating two dinners at once. You want to see track marks. Uh, fatness is not the problem. Oppression is. Sevens? Is that a new size? I don't know. I'm tired of hearing about how food noise

is a problem that needs to be solved by GLP-1 drugs. What? What's food noise like? Like smacking your lips while you're eating? Is it GLP-1 drugs. What? What's food noise like smacking your lips while you're eating? Is it GLP-1, is that like- Is it food screaming? Is that Ozempic or something? Yeah, GLP-1 drugs.

Yeah. Thinking about food sometimes is normal. Yeah. If it wasn't, why would cooking shows and food blogs be so popular? I love cooking shows. What the fuck is food noise? Thinking about food all the time.

You're being inundated with like food, food, food, food, food, so... Oh god, I gotta eat. I gotta eat. Oh yeah, oh, okay. Thinking about food all the time is a symptom of restriction that can be solved by eating. Oh. Not injections. Finally, everybody thinks about food, not just people in larger bodies.

The implication is that this somehow, this is somehow diseased and needs to be treated with medic, medication is pure fatphobia. Oh wow. Oh God, you know what else I have? AI Maddox. You wanna see it? Oh sure. Okay. Maddie, are you eating paper? She loves it. Can I have this? Come on, let me have it. Let me have it. Okay. This is Maddox At the hospital okay, can have it back Here we go. Okay dickheads. I'm back. Normally I talk about ancient history But today I am talking about something more recent as in last week recent You may have noticed Sean wasn't on this terrible dying show last week. And fanboy had to replace him with someone slightly less homophobic. See Sean was at the hospital and so was I.

You'd think Sean would behave himself at a house of healing. You'd be wrong. It sounds exactly like him! It's pretty good. I am trying to get ahead of the nasty rumors Sean has no doubt already spread. Yes I was at the hospital. Why was I at the hospital? I had an unfortunate accident.

I was wearing shorts and I had just gotten groceries and I slipped and I landed on the fresh cucumber I bought. It got stuck up there. It's no big deal. According to the CDC, it happens to 2,000 Armenians a year. Man, this guy's a great writer. You're a very specific stat. I slipped on, fell on a cucumber. But I mean 2,000 Armen's a great writer. You're a very specific stat. I slept on a cucumber.

But I mean, 2,000 Armenians a year. That's a lot. I want to see the cultural breakdown of vegetables. Yeah, yeah. What other races? Right. Who gets what stuck up their ass a larger percentage of the time? No big deal.

Right. No big. Some of you are probably thinking, well, it was nice of Sean to visit you in the time. No big deal. Right, no big. Some of you are probably thinking, well, it was nice of Sean to visit you in the hospital. Wrong, he was there for his own reasons. His bed next to mine. It was an unfortunate coincidence. I woke up after treatment to see him there, smugly smirking at me like the Cheshire cat

did to Alice in Wonderland. Sean asked me what I was in for. I said it was none of his business. He then guessed I was in here for AIDS. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's perfect! I said it was none of his business. He then guessed I was in here for AIDS It's perfect AIDS Alice in Wonderland AIDS I can't wait to watch that that interview with dr. Joe with him man I was mad I was ready to let Sean have it, but I felt so woozy then I noticed something odd

You know those bags of liquid they plug into your arm to give you vitamins, IVs? My plug was gone. There was a mark, so it was in my arm at some point. I looked over at Sean and realized he had two plugs in his arm. Can you fucking believe this guy? I could have died.

He's trying to get out of there. I was weak from the lack of vitamins and butt surgery. I couldn't really get mad, so I asked him why he took my IV. He said, because he was bigger than me, he needed more nutrients and he could just take it because he was the alpha. It was the law of the jungle and therefore his right

and duty to take it. Then I asked Sean why he was in the hospital. You know to pick on him because he deserves it. Sean insisted he was in the hospital because when your penis is so big, you have to come in for maintenance. I doubted Sean, but I don't really have much medical expertise and I didn't want to challenge him

and sound like an anti-vaxxer. My nurse returned, he was an African American immigrant. I can't pronounce his name, but I tried to tell him about Sean's quite illegal behavior. And also, confirm or deny why Sean was in the hospital. Sadly, my nurse had no interest in helping me. Sean had got to him first. Sean told the nurse that I was saying

racist things in my sleep. The nurse refused to get me a new IV and left. Then Sean said, that was nice of him. I asked what he meant by that. Sean replied, they gave you a male nurse because you are gay. Oh my God. I asked what he meant by that. Sean replied, They gave you a male nurse because you are gay. Oh my God.

Those are fucking hilarious. This guy's writing a comic for Ethan Vanskiver. Oh, that's right, right. He started rewriting ISOM. That's the guy. Wow. Yeah. It's gonna be funny. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse,

Fanboy walked in. He was here to pick up Sean. I guess Sean's girlfriend is locked in a basement or something. Fanboy said, Hi Maddox, what a coin-kai dink. He asked me what I was in for and I told him to fuck off. He picked up my chart and started laughing. Then showed it to Sean and Sean shouted, I knew it! They laughed at me and called me slurs, just like the old days. Then Sean took out his phone and started playing

the supposed recording of me saying racist things in my sleep. But it was obviously AI. Fanboy said, we're going to tell everyone you are racist and gay. Then the two left, but not before Sean told the hospital to put his treatment on my tab, which they did for some reason.

It's great. So funny. Thank you. Okay. Let's show patreon.com slash the dick show. Dicta show. I'll see you next Tuesday. It's no Chungus song, but there you go. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do It's got teeth though. Well, it doesn't look like a... It's a hate shirt.

Like vampire teeth don't look like that. They just have the... they have normal human teeth with two fangs, right? I mean... Yeah, that's stupid. Yeah, that looks like an animal. It's obviously not a vampire shirt. Maybe a werewolf shirt? Right. I guess if it's any kind of... ...mythical being. I guess if it's any kind of Mythical being

Okay, hey Derek, it's Shawn. Yo. Fuck Vito. Oh, it's Nikki It's my birthday All right. I hate my birthday. Yeah, me too. Birthdays are terrible. Yeah. But you know what makes them worse? What? It's fucking corporate birthday messages. Oh yeah, they really.

I've got more messages. Bro. From my dentist. Yeah, I know. You've talked about this. Yeah. Annoying. To my bank.

I have more messages from corporate shitlords with automated systems that I have. My actual friends. Yeah, and they're set up to go out like right away so it ruins your birthday. Yeah, you can't send them at 5 PM. You're reminded of it right away. I don't wanna wake up thinking about my fucking bank

on my birthday. Yeah. Like that's the last... My doctor and my dentist, my doctor and my bank. I don't ever want to think about any of those things. And I wake up on my birthday and go, Oh wow, yeah, great. I love thinking about fucking banks.

Yeah, sure. And going to the dentist. Yeah. And the doctor that I drink too much. Yeah. Fucking fantastic. Thanks guys. And you're a year older guess

I better not make fun of any politicians retarded kids today either Well They may not figure out how to send you a greeting Does he have Twitter does Tim Walz kid have Twitter? I have no idea. I don't know anything about his about his kid They gave him that bowl haircut on purpose to make him look more retarded. Well, because he had a normal haircut. Yeah. In other videos, he has a normal haircut and they gave him the most.

They gave him a fucking bull cut to play up the retarded stuff. Oh, no. Not my way to make fun of that, though. You make fun of a haircut. I can. Sure. Why not? Next show, what makes me rage is people like Maddox and their stupid fucking spicy shenanigans I like spicy stuff I grew up in Where it's an identity Yeah but I made chili too because it's cheap and it's good a lot of protein in it

And I bought these Arbol peppers because I'm like you know I'm just a little red peppers a year to get those little things but they go like blackened or delicious. I thought that's what these were. And I put too much in a chili batch and I basically disabled myself. I mean, this is a disaster and so much fucking meat waste and I got to mow through this shit. It's a nightmare. Yeah.

Just eat it in the bathroom. I've been in the bathroom for three months here. When you get a new Thai place and you fuck up the spice, you're like, I gotta eat all this shit. Because legit Thai spicy will... it'll make your bathroom look like a crime scene. Can you guys standardize this shit? How come there's no standardization on this? You know. Because like guys are just like, oh macho.

Like, oh I got the fucking spiciest kind. Yeah. Is that the only metric that you have to measure yourself against other people? How obedient you are with hate speech etiquette and how much spice you can poop? Is that it? Yeah, people do, there is definitely like a spicy food as identity type of thing. Yeah, because they have nothing else. It's just like, yeah. That's how I measure myself with other men. There is definitely like spicy food as identity type of thing. Yeah, because they have nothing else.

It's just like, yeah. That's how I measure myself with other men. Not like banks or women, not like money or women or anything. They're like physical skills. Like, no, we're just a bunch of, oh, we do. It's like, we eat spicy poop. Okay. Cool metric, bro.

How's that working for you? Grow up. Yo. My rage is addictive personality types. Because it just sort of seems like everyone has an addictive personality or whatever that means. Everybody says that. I have an addictive personality. Low-key kind of seems like a brag. Yeah, it

does. Where it's like, oh, I'm one of the greats. It's just really dumb. It's like, yeah, that's about it. I have an addictive personality. So it's actually harder for me to not be an addict than it is for you. Go, okay. Yeah, that's not a, yeah, it's not a, uh, not a thing to make a big deal out of. Or real in any way for these retards that are saying it. I mean, every, yeah, everybody... You have a certificate that you have, like, an addictive personality?

Can I see it? Everybody, I mean, let me, let... Do you register at the douchebag store? I can pull up your file. Why don't you list out like your immediate family, extended family, history of like addiction and like alcohol or like whatever. Like it's like, then, you know, then I'll go,

there's a very good chance you do. How many DUIs are in your family? Oh, none? Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean. Cool. Do you have ADHD too? OCD? BDD? BDD? OPP? Yeah. Hey Sean, I've got an animal corner for you. It's DP. Did you know that the Wombat's primary defense is its ass? If a predator chases it into its little hole, it will flatten itself against the ground and when the predator sticks its head in there,

it will basically torque up and down and crush the predator's skull and it will kill it. Like foxes and shit. Just because it's ass. Really? Twerking? A wombat is a pretty large animal. Or a lot bigger than people think. I've seen them in person in Australia.

Fuck you. Yeah. Yep. Oh. Yeah, they got real thick skin on their ass, apparently. It can kind of take a pounding, you know. Really, they just hump them to, like butt hump them to death? Well, part of it, they flatten, they're almost impossible to pull out of a burrow. But yeah, I mean, I'd heard about the crushing thing

or whatever, but yeah. Yeah, that is their, that's their thing. That's cool. I'd heard about the crushing thing or whatever, but yeah. Yeah, that is their, that's their thing. That's cool. Show you the ass in. But it's like, someone's talking about some movie. Oh, we already heard you. Yeah. Okay.

Yo, what's up? My rage this week is like when you're watching something and there's an abnormally high pitched drone in the background of the thing you're watching. And then it's so annoying that you can't watch it. I'm not like super young leaving this voicemail either. I'm like, I'm not old. What the hell's happening to your,

well, what are you watching? I guess I'm just sensitive to it, but so many people will just watch shit that I can't enjoy. A high-pitched frequency, you got tinnitus, dude. Fucking high-pitched frequency. Well, it's kind of like that. What is he talking about?

There used to be a signal that went out on broadcast that was like above the range of most hearing. I think it was like. 6,000. It was over 16K. Like it was, like in theory. For what? For, I don't know what it was used for

in analog broadcast TV. I'm not sure if it was something calibration. Yeah, but nobody can really hear it. He's talking about something that was, that was low. Like, I mean, in theory, the theoretical range of human hearing is 20 Hertz to 20 kilohertz. Nobody except a baby hears 20 kilohertz anymore. Like through just-

Oh, it's so high? Yeah, it's so high. You know, I mean, when you get old, there's a lot of people who won't hear anywhere even near 10 anymore, you know, depending on- But like, yeah, that's, I mean, I know there are, I don't know if he was watching something that, it could be, and if something was digitized,

it could be some weird like alias artifact. What's he watching? I don't know, but I mean, I know what he's talking about. And it is very much like what they use for tinnitus. When like a bomb goes off and you're supposed to hear what they hear. That guy's hearing it everywhere? It's higher than that.

You're saying it's real? It's higher than that. Yeah, yeah it's real? It's higher than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's certain, I've heard it in certain instances. Where it's like, what was it? Mute it, gone. Again, mute it, gone, yeah. Man, you might have like an appliance in your house.

That happened to me, and it turned out it was this automatic tea kettle. Like a tea kettle warm, you know, water heater thing. Yeah. Electric tea kettle. Yeah. I fucked up my whole house until I found it. I unplugged it and it was like, huh,

you might have a fucked up appliance because those capacitors go bad. And then they start going, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I don't want to kill myself because of my tinnitus anymore. Oh, okay. I'm used to it. Right. It's great. That's good.

Yeah, it's great. It only took like six months. You can kind of get used to, you can get used to a lot of shit. I lay in bed now and just hear eeeeee, I don't even notice it anymore. Ah, there it is. Yeah. Singing me to sleep. That means it's quiet. Good.

I get how it happens with the smoke alarms now. Hey, Dick. Hey, Sean. Made it in Texas. I get how it happens with the smoke alarms now. Hey, Dick. Thanks, John. I'm in Texas. I started listening to The Biggest Problem, the one where Vito's involved, and I don't know how many...

Oh, the series, yeah. ...ways I can say that I really dislike this guy, but one of the funniest fucking things I ever heard... Yeah. ...was episode two, where you guys were discussing metric versus imperial system and Vito had said, you know, people are, or you would mention people walk off the distances all the time, which is fucking true. I've done it for years. I'll bet you 10 to one.

I will out measure any asshole with a measuring tape over the course of 10 houses. I say that because Vito says, yeah, but they shouldn't be walking it off. This fat brain, that's the reason we won't. This shouldn't be. Vito's defending communism this week. Yeah. Vito's, he's,

he's defending it after the show too. He's on Twitter, on Reddit, arguing that... Oh, he's really gone. ...that Chinese farmers weren't killed by the Chinese government. Oh. To take their farms. And take all their, like, food and ship it overseas to prove how great communism was and letting them starve. Letting everybody in China starve.

It's like, wait, are you a communist? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. You just assume that everyone in America knows communism is totally fucked. Did they send him food directly? Is he on the take from said, you know? He thinks that grocery stores are price gouging people.

I mean, they may, it costs them more to get stuff too. I mean, grocery stores, you know? Yeah, because minimum wage is like 25 bucks now. And that had some kind of effect on the price of groceries as it turns out. Everything is more expensive to grow. More expensive, like it's like, they've got to buy the food too, right?

I mean, so, I don't know. I couldn't I can't believe it. I Can't believe I'm we're having to re litigate communism. Yeah, they killed a bunch of people took the shit Yeah, I'm to death millions tens of millions. Yeah. Yeah traditionally it hasn't gone. Well, yeah Think of Venezuela most gas The biggest gas reserves ever, oil reserves ever. Do they have the- Starving to death. Yeah, not good.

Yeah, they got the good gas. You can just pull it out of the ground, sell it. Wow. Not like the shale shit. Refined, yeah. Hey Sean, just here to confirm that thing the guy said about why nurses are so fat, it is 1000% true. Uh-huh, absolutely.

It's a lot of percent. It is 1000% true. Absolutely. Around lunchtime, I think he calls it the pig pen. I say they start oinking around 12, honestly, because they'll sit around the table and just go, oh, we got pizza yesterday. Oh, no, no, no, Chinese. I don't want Chinese today. Literally. I'll sit there and listen to what they're talking about and how like the foods they've eaten in the past is. They're getting cake out every single fucking day.

Every single fucking day. And in the morning, I don't know who's bringing it, but someone always in each unit brings them a fucking box of donuts. So they're all fucking in there. That's the worst part about women working is the amount of calories they're trying to feed them every day. Well. Podcast prophet,

the Holy Spirit's speaking through me. Is there no limit to Sean's just knowledge of random stuff? No. Because he was talking about pizza dough like he's made it many times before. No, I never have. I've never made pizza dough like he's made it many times before. No, I never have. I never have. I've never made pizza dough.

I've seen it. And he was like talking about all the weather, the fucking temperature, all that shit can change how your dough reacts. And it's 100% true. Yeah, yeah. Sean's just what happens when you stop drinking. He just knows everything. Yeah, not fancy, but no.

It's like the Highlander. It's like the Highlander. thing. Not fancy, but it's 2.5 million dollars per year restaurant. We make pizzas every month. We have live music, well, what fire pizzas. That's exactly right. The amount of yeast you use depends on how much humidity is and all this other shit. If it's cold out, you need a little bit more. If it's warmer out, more. You mess with the time. The whole thing's fucking crazy. It's like never exactly the same.

Any hootles, thank you, fuck you, bye. Oh man. Love you, Sean. I'm gonna make some pizzas this week. I'm going on Destiny's show this week in Miami. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Fly out there. Is it next weekend?

No, it's this week. It's during the week. Oh, gotcha. So you'll be back for... I'll be back, yeah, normal show, everything. It's during the week. Oh, gotcha. So you'll be back for... I'll be back. Yeah, normal show. Everything. My biggest, not biggest problem, you know what's making me rage, Dick?

Fucking women telling you to do top politics. I was at DabbleCon the other day, had a great time. The only downside I ever had was my friend randomly messaged me saying, you better not be voting for Trump. You gotta vote for Harris. Harris? with my friend randomly messaged me saying, you better not be voting for Trump. You gotta vote for Harris. Harris? I don't like to talk about politics with friends because most of my friends are fucking retarded.

You're voting for a woman? Are you fucking serious? You know what I mean? But they're like, Trump is trying to kill trans people. They want him with them all dead. And obviously it didn't take the day. Do I get to keep my fucking house if they're all dead? Last week, this friend, we all yelled at them because they didn't know

how, they didn't know what the Federal Reserve was. And then when we asked them how inflation works they said, well that's what the government, the government does that right? The government votes for inflation. I mean, kinda. This retard, who I love, they're a good friend, this retard is telling me who I should go for. They don't know anything!

Jesus fucking Christ. You know, if Trump gets elected and the trans people are in danger, maybe there's a way we could, if they could disguise themselves as non-trans people, like if all the trans women and the trans men can disguise themselves, if we can somehow, like if the trans women, we can disguise them as men somehow and the trans women, we can disguise them as men somehow

and the trans women, we can disguise them as women. Like, I don't know how we could do that. You know, if we want just back. Not, well, I mean, what do you mean back? No, they were born a woman, they were born a woman in a man's body. So we want to somehow double transition them. Right.

Not back, like you're saying is transphobic. What I'm saying is progressive. Double trans. Double trans. So if Trump gets, like you're saying is transphobic. What I'm saying is progressive. Double trans. Double trans. So if Trump gets in, you're like, all right, we gotta go out and get all the trans people and somehow transition them. Yeah.

To the other gender. To hide them. To hide them from Trump's trans death squads. Got it. The squads aren't trans, and then they'll have like a, they'll have like the Hans character, you know? Yeah.

Who's like, so fucked up. Like, I don't know what you are, or he's just like a robot or something, and he's like, are you hiding, are you trans? Are you hiding trans in your, uh, attic? In your attic? I have a way of thinking like them. Right? Got it.

Yes, yes, yes, now I'm... Now you get it them. Right? Got it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now I'm Right, it would be If there's some way to make it so it's difficult to identify The trans people so Trump doesn't kill them all that's where I'm just worried about people dying, right? Oh, yes, you know that boxer that lady boxer. Yeah Uh, oh yeah, you know that boxer, that lady boxer? Yeah. Now she's like trying to get Elon Musk and J.K. Rowling, which I hope she wins.

J.K. Rowling's like, well, you know, she won't supply like a DNA test. Like, what are you talking about? Who the fuck are, who are you? Who are you, yeah, right. Who the fuck are you? Where the fuck are we getting DNA tests? Why is anybody listening to you at all? You fucked, you guys fucked up so bad on this poor woman. Yeah, okay

Maybe she has an XY chromosome, but it looks like a woman. It's got a fucking pussy. I don't know what the fuck she's got What's your fucking problem? So now we're doing DNA tests now? Fuck you. To satisfy... You not being embarrassed. That you did... that you made fun of the wrong... that you made fun of a woman that looks like a guy. Right. Huh, whoops. Guess what? It happens. Yeah, it happens. You're making a lot of jokes. Sometimes you make the wrong joke, it's not funny.

Right, right. You make it... you made it in front of the world. And some people are gonna... some people are gonna... You're gonna get sued for it. Some people are gonna laugh at you. Yeah, you fucked up your thing. Stupid. Everyone was hating trans people in sports and then you made fun of a woman.

These people start to believe in their own infallibility. Yeah, yeah, they do. And it gets so famous that it's just like, I mean, we've shit on rightfully so, fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh yeah. He's just an, fuck, he's just an- Insufferable.

He's an asshole. He's a fucking asshole. And that's, you get some credibility. Everybody loves me and everything that I think and say and do is right. Yeah, in astrophysics, then you talk about anything else, you're stupid. You're an idiot. You don't know anything. Yeah, you don't know shit.

Look at this. Look at this, Sean. Three million views. See, look, there's a little tiny snack flag over here with Andrew Tate. See? $40,000 a month. You remember this interview? Oh my God. Sean, we're in the wrong gender.

Maybe. And how much? Is it 14 or 40? 40. Oh Christ. Jesus. And I give her a thousand dollars a week. I give her a thousand dollars. A thousand dollars? Okay, so that's generous. I'm the bad guy!

That sounded like a joke to me. Stop giving predators a platform? That's called a confession, you fucking bitch. Oh yeah? Uh... Good times. Whatever. A platform that's called a confession you fucking bitch. Oh Yeah Times whatever fuck me whatever point of doing anything good. I don't know stupid But Dick and Sean, this is Rex Exxon. Yeah, it's me rages. I'm mad at me I'm going to be twice as mad at you that'll show you I was stranded on a raft and almost

Drowned and my best friends couldn't even help or ask how I was doing when I made it back to shore So I just went home and they responded by talking shit and ostracizing me from the group And this was four years ago My girlfriend went through my closet and all my stuff and stole a bunch of clothes Notebooks knickknacks and paddy wax and flew across country. When I told her that was kind of a breach of trust, now she should ask me if she wanted something, she exploded, and said that in her culture, white, if you wanted something from your friend,

you just took it, no questions asked. So, oh, you don't. Then the ceiling in my house started leaking, and swelled up like a water balloon, and popped. After three weeks, I told my landlady, I was getting frustrated that it wasn't fixed, and she started yelling that I can deal with insurance with insurance and I can find a place to live. Like Jesus fuck, everyone is on a hair trigger and can't stand even the mildest cognitive dissonance,

even when it's fully justified. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you want, if you want something, well, I mean, maybe even if you don't want something, the best way to do anything is always to lie. Everything that you say should be a lie. And you will never go wrong. No one has ever, no one has ever fucked up lying.

You know? People hate them. It's when they admitted to the truth. It's when they admitted to the lie. They had fucked up. It's always whatever you want. If you're land when they admitted to the lie! They had fucked up! It's always, whatever you want, if you're landlady, you know, your ceiling's leaking, hey, I really love living here,

um, you know, I don't know whose fault it is, but the ceiling is leaking. I know you're so smart, you're smarter than me, I don't know, like I hear my girlfriend talking to government people on the phone, and I'm like, why are you, that's not, I don't talk to government people on the phone. And I'm like, why are you...

I don't talk to government people like that. When I call government people, like tax or whatever, I'm like, I'm so stupid and I'm really having trouble figuring out why I'm getting charged for this. Is there... I don't even know if this is the right number because I'm so dumb. Is there somebody there, maybe a woman, who could help me? I'm telling you, this is the only way to go through life. When I see you, I think like you're, you look really funny. I was just wondering like, I know you probably wouldn't, you know, date somebody like me,

who's very successful with women, but I thought maybe that, you know, every single thing you ever say should be... If you're not lying, you better have a damn good reason why. So it's just like all like lies of like flattery and lies about how dumb you are and... Yeah! That's the way to do it. Yeah, and like I don't have any objective. I just thought your property will get damaged if the ceiling leaks. I'm worried about your property. Yeah, and like I don't have any objective. I just thought your property will get damaged if the ceiling leaks.

I'm worried about your property. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, that's that's yeah, there's some truth to that. Just lie. Constantly. You should never be... what is the... why is lying exists if you're not doing it? It just doesn't make any sense to not be doing it. But whatever, that's just me. You know. Okay, goodbye everybody. Alright, see ya. Thank you.