The Dick Show - Episode 432 - Dick on Not Spilling Chips in the Car

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Russel Brand sells a magic amulet, California liberals ruin another high tech industry, a Hitler survey, the scope of consent, gay voice, guys playing video games, 40 FEMA guys carry a log, protecting Black men's crypto, a lady spills chips in a car, and Josh Denny fills in for Sean; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

We gotta get these girls reading. Whoever's tracking the literacy rates needs to make some adjustments in their formula because these bitches cannot read. You know, do you do a book report in class in fourth grade? You remember that? Yeah. I remember it.

I don't remember any of the kids in my class struggling to read as much as I witnessed the modern woman struggle with this concept. If you think they suck at reading, wait, will you see their comprehension skills? It's pretty bad. I'll literally watch mine read something. I'll go, what did that just say? It's you can do with reading what they do with conversation

where we're tuning them out. And they just go, what did I just say? I don't know, something fucking dumb that I don't need to know about. And then this girl, I don't know, it was some huge Reddit thread where they found out gradually how many women are just skipping giant portions of books that they don't find

like interesting. Yeah. They'll just start skipping and arbitrarily decide when to start reading again. Like what? Yeah. Why are you, what are you doing then? Are you just holding a book in a bar? Yeah.

Is that what you're doing here? Yeah. Because that's not reading. I gotta go pick this thing up at the printer. Yeah. Women for some reason think that we value reading. Like why doesn't a chick? Yeah.

Why doesn't a chick ever decide to pull up to a bar and just start handing out hand jobs? They're like, I know I'll have a book so that a smart wealthy engineer type man wants to marry me. It's like, or you could just start jerking everyone at the bar off and be that girl. And then start the jerk in 10 minutes. I'm going to start jacking guys off. So if you want it to be you, you better get in front of line. I'll let you guys figure out what the line is. Yeah.

Yeah. Why do they think? Why do they like books so much? They don't like reading. They know they don't like books. I don't like reading. They don't like books. They know this is the thing.

Women like to appear intelligent. They have no interest in the genuine article. No, they're not like, let me become intelligent. That would require effort and time and commitment. All the things that they have not. What the fuck is all these windows Great that's one thing. I actually love about Kanye is because if you watch like the behinds one of the many things one of the many But my favorite thing is like Alex Alex Jones was like I don't know if you ever saw the behind the scenes

No, his him at the Alex Jones interview Alex is having like a panic attack trying to get him back out on stage. He's just eating a salad and not getting up and going. He's like, we got a schedule. Yeah. Yeah. I got to know how many ads to run. You know, just let me know when you're ready. You're going to be ready in five. He's like, yeah, I can be ready in five. And he's like, okay, cause it's five. It's what do you need? 10? Just let me know what you need. Yeah. Okay. He's like, no, no, that's where you tell me what you need. Like it's like a who's on first and I feel his pain. Yeah. Yeah. You know, are you going to be ready to be in five? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But you need to tell me that's not a confirmation. That's an acknowledgement of my request, but it's not a confirmation. So he goes, teach this stuff in school and he,

and uh, and then he goes, I got, by the way, I got some books there. If you want a couple of copies of my book, if you want to take it, he's okay. Great. I don't read. He just literally looks at me. He goes, I don't read like, and I, and I had questions like you can't read or you just don't, or you don't read. Yeah. Cause I bet it's can't, I bet it a lot of ways it's can't read. Are we working?

Are we working on rumble? The rumble is uh... Rumbley? Rumble. Rumble is Rumbley. Is the rumble rumbling? Let's see. I think I'm live on Vimeo this week. Usually I fuck that up. Okay.

That's working? Oh, loady, loady, loady. It's working. Yes-ah! Here we ah. Here we go. Here we go, how was Vito's show, everybody? There we go, it's working. That's working. That's working.

Lovely, lovely, lovely. Riley says vacation trips are top tier. I wore my Free Riley shirt all around. It was, I went to like a light Burning Man festival called Utopia. I got that vibe. Yeah. You're a Burning Man guy.

Yeah, man! You like to burn men. I like to, how many, what's the most naked man you've ever showered with before? Well I did play sports, so... Were you a, was your school a shower or mandatory kind of thing? Oh yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

I played baseball in high school and college and man, if you would have, if one of us would have gotten naked and taken a shower, that would be the end of them. Yeah. We'd have had to ironically rape them in the shower. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a prank. It's like to show them how gay they are getting naked. Well, it was like, it was all black dude. How long did that take? It was all black. How long did that take? Am I not supposed to How long? Am I not supposed to I might not on patreon man. I got Shooters coming after me Anyway, you were saying yeah. Yeah. No this

Yeah, we had a lot of black guys so the shower was their time to remind us how white we were Your penises yeah,, is that true? Yeah. They had a black guy tell me that that myth sucks because then he shows women his penis and they're like, Oh, is that all? Oh yeah. Well, you can really sucks for a guy's black guys without Hugh Monk is down. It's the worst for them because it's all they're expected to have and then they don't. And then, and then she's just like, wait a minute. I got to go through all the shame with none of the merits of this. I also read that it's supposed to feel like a roller coaster that might not, I might not live through. And then it's, and I get here and I get here and you pull down your pants and it's the tea cups. What am

I supposed to do with that? We're leaving the utopia thing today, the, the, the camping, it's like free camping. So all the hippies and the degenerates kind of make their own camping layout. You know, it's just a giant field with a tractor and an asphalt pile in the middle of it. But it's up to the hippies to figure it out themselves. And you've got the super- Which they're known for.

They can do it. Yeah, yeah. You know, they don't always make the right decision, but they do make a decision. And I respect them for that. You know, they don't always make the right decision, but they do make a decision, and I respect them for that. You've got like the REI catalog models type of hippie. This dude next to us has like-

Vests, some kind of north face vest. He's got two Leathermans in the vest. Oh yeah. You know, a backup Leatherman. He's got a Jeep with a winch on it. Winch, yeah. I'm like, bro- Case shown tips.

I gotta see this winch something out of the ground. If I leave this festival with winch blue balls, I'm gonna blame you for it. And he's got like a trailer with one of those rooftop tents, which I just don't trust. He just go, yeah, yeah. I'm right on the edge of becoming too fat. Dick Masterson, let me tell you something, right?

You caught your cards right. We might've fired the winch up, dig up the bitch I brought last year here. I was hitting, at first I was hinting at it, but then I was getting drunker and drunker. I'm like, bro, I need to see that witch. Just show me how it works. You leave the keys on,

like point to the button that I need to do to switch it on. And I'll do it. So they're sorting themselves out and my girlfriend's getting like more and more nervous as they're filling in gaps because she's like, we're not going to be able to get out. We're not going to be able to get out. Do you want me to go fist fight somebody because they parked in the wrong...

First of all, I'm not looking. I'm not going over there to... I'm not getting sucked into neurosis world. I'm out here in mainland thinking about this winch. Yeah, what I could do with it Yeah, okay. I'm not going over to woman town, which is worrying about shit That's not gonna happen five days from now also. Okay. Also they have they the women immediately have scarcity mindset Yeah, oh, there's only so many spaces. We're not gonna get a space. We're gonna know you can't fit your car I'm like, you don't know where this car could fit you could be looking at a football stadium and say, oh, I don't know if the car could fit through there Yeah, or a mouse. Oh sure enough. Yeah, they don't understand size or dimension or what was the thing you showed me?

The what was it? It was like a thing you draw and they can't the water Yeah, the water just fill it in. Yeah, they have no idea what happens. They can't conceptualize. A little boy will just go, well, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there it is. So we leave today, and of course, I'm like, there's plenty of room. There's every penis size possible on both sides. Yeah, yeah. No problem.

I don't know. That's what it reminded me of, these poor black guys. I also read that their penis size has more variance than white guys. That would be so like some of them can have like kitty cat dicks and then horse dicks so it's it really sucks for half of them it's like all right here we go give me that big monster dog right oh the variance is big too yeah oh wow I would say that that happens

Tiger Woods over here I would say that that happens. Tiger Woods over here. Some would say that happens elsewhere in their physiology as well. I don't know what that means. Like there are some that are quite athletic and some that are not. Oh. And then there are some that are quite athletic. And then there are some that are, you know, Cornell West smart. And then there's some that are not.

So there's quite a vast variance. Variance Yeah, fucker. Yeah, it'll embarrass you every time. Yeah, it'll get you Let me start the show Man, I got fucked over big time by my girlfriend this weekend Fucked up my arm. Yeah. You want to dig in? You dig. You love it. You got it. So showrooms contest can be alive from mountain bunker, deep in the heart of city failure. My house, thick mash and I K the $20 million man joining these always are joining me once again. Studio. You had a fat man across from you and said, this isn't always. This is not always like it always.

This is, yeah, now it's starting to feel, this is the bigger problem. You want to replace veto on the biggest problem. Yeah. He's losing it. Yeah. He needs to work on his comic full time, I think until he, until he gets it. You know, the Godfather only took two years to make. It's all subsided.

So now we should bring it back to life. Beat it. Hey, you ever want to, hey, you want to do this thing that the internet's been talking about for the last month and just, they just left the contract. I'm going to rip up the contract right here on live on air. Cause that's binding. Yeah. You tear up a contract. It's buying my version of the show. We weigh you and we see, but just the, I try to gain weight. Yes. Just, just, yeah. Oh man. We weigh your bag. That's what we do.

We check for the bag weight. Wait, my nuts? Yeah. Then we put those on a little drug scale and then we go, wait a minute, these are too empty. You know what I've started doing? I've answered, started answering every question. I got this from my nephew. I started answering every question

my girlfriend asked with these nuts. Like, where did you get those grapes? Deez nuts. Every single one and it got really unfunny but I think it's getting funny again and it's only going up now. I can't see it ever not being funny again because she hates it so much.

Yeah, the things that hate them are off, or that they hate. Yeah. The thing, there's a little Freudian slip there. The things that hate them, like us. I didn't mean, what was I trying to say? Oh yeah. I hate them. Yeah. Yeah. The satire is that I'm making jokes about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She, she'll say things to me like, well, like she'll have a win. You

like have, when they have a win, we're like, they do something nice for you for the one time of the year. It's usually an accident. And then they go, well, I guess you can never talk shit about me on all your different internet radio shows then, huh? And I go, well, well, you want me to lie to everybody all the time and not be myself. And sure, I'll speak glowingly of you everywhere. She packed my, or for some reason, my girlfriend, we're going to camping where it's going to

be 40 degrees. So she's like, she's like the weatherman every day, you know, it's going to be 40 degrees there. And there's going to be windy one day and then it's not going to be windy the next day. Girlfriends are weather slash celebrity news apps. Yes. And calendar apps in real life. And the weather.

It's just a translator for these things. The weather one on my phone is broken. So mine is only celebrity celebrities. I've ever shown any interest in it's every, we joked that mine's the ambassador to black Hollywood. She'll just be like, yeah, yeah. You want to know what the actor who played uncle skater in, you know, she'll just break what's happening. Yeah. You know, the reboot from 96. Yeah, sure. What's that? What's that? Random black celebrity up to? Yeah. She's just dialed in. She's just, uh, she just lives in that world. She's like the human BET app where she's just like, so, so naturally our home is ground zero for breaking ditty news.

Oh, that must've been an exciting week for you guys. Yeah, it was great. Yeah. Well, especially for me because I got to hear about it whether I wanted to or not. Every fight, that's the circle of life. Who else he might have rate. Try not to hear celebrity news. Here's celebrity news.

Try not to hear celebrity news. And then I do it on the show and I hate it. I will say this. I worked, uh, I worked for a company that bought Diddy's retail stores away in 2012 So he had Sean John right which is basically just a money laundering scheme for the It's like a tax shelter for the record label like we'll just make this lose money So it looks like we don't make money. I see, you know, it's I'm assuming there's a lot of There's a lot of profit in human trafficking that you have to consuming. There's everything's illegal now.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard that there was some sort of a child rapery going on. So I'm just going to assume that all of this is a, I was, I was in his offices when we did the transition and his head of ops for Sean John retail when we acquired it was like this young black gay kid. Okay.

And I was like, Hmm, where does he fit into the puzzle? Like, this young man seems quite homosexual and this is a gangster rap label. Have you guys seen Dune? Oh no, okay, no. Where does this young homosexual gentleman fit into the equation? And now, so much as-

Is it to convince everyone that you're not gay? He's gonna say, no, that's a gay guy. So much has come to light since then, where I go, oh, that's what that was. He must've been, Oh, is exactly what I thought it was. Yeah. I should have. I should have looked at his calendar. Should have called that thing on the bus. That's like human trafficking. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that. You see something, say something. You see a young lady with an older man, even

if she's obviously an adult, make sure to call this hotline so you don't feel old anymore. I remember walking through those offices and being like, none of these offices look worked in. You know what I mean? Like fucked it. It literally was like walking through a physical shell company where you're just like North Korea. Yeah. There's like names on the cubicles, but there's no people here. Yeah. You know, and I know it's five Oh five and Manhattan. So why would anybody still be in the office right now on a Monday? Yeah. It was a, it was an interesting year and a half that I worked there and then we sold it back to them and you know, and then they human trafficking commenced. I'm assuming you should have stuck

around for that. I should have got your fingers in the everything and every one. Yeah. I would have been the one who cancels, right? Yeah. I would have loved, by the way, I just wish the new rapist is the new rapist in town. I would have loved the guy who goes in and like explains what you remember that scene in true romance where, where Christopher Walken walks in and just sort of explains to Dennis Hopper about how he's about to die. Yeah. I would love to do that. But for women who were about to be raped in as ritualistic gang process, where I just go in and go, listen, here's what's going to happen.

You know what I mean? Diddy and the boys are going to come in and you're going to think there's a, that's terrible. You're going to think there's a music video that's going to take, there's no video. Okay. But what we can promise you is a lifetime of mediocrity and doing VH1 awards You can have a sad of interesting to you. Yeah, 20 years. It'd be great. And this finally drops. Yeah, it would be great I could just go. Yeah, listen, there's no money now 2020 years when all the shit hits the fan in 20 years. You're gonna be on goo gong comm yeah And you'll be able to sueong.com. Yeah, and you'll be able to sue. Could sue everybody.

Yeah. Sue Amazon. Yeah, so we're getting ready to go to this thing. It's going to be in the mountains. It's going to be freezing at night. And my girlfriend goes, don't worry. I put your thermals out. Make sure you remember them.

I found them. I put them in your suitcase. I said, OK, thanks. I pack all my shit. I found him. I put him on your suitcase. I said, okay. Thanks. I pack all my shit I get there and it starts getting cold. I go for the thermals grab them I put on the shirt and something's not something's not quite right about this and the shirts going up past my stomach She shrunk them. No, the arms are about you know this and then she goes oh I think those are mine. I said, what do you mean you think these are mine?

These are what you put on the suitcase. Right. You think they're mine? She goes, yeah, let me see it. Yeah, these are mine. Yeah, you're going, I'm gonna go on a limb here and confirm. Why do you, why did you know how important these are to have here?

It's fucking freezing at night! Right. You fucked me over so bad with this! Cause I was like, ah, whoops. That's what you get. It's on you. Yeah. It's on you for just grabbing it.

She didn't do what mine would do in that situation? No. What? Well, I do need an extra pair for myself. So if you could just chuck those over here. Dude, I don't like the colors of the ones I brought. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man! Mine aren't autumnal enough. If you could just chuck those over here, but I don't like the colors of the ones I brought. Yeah Mine aren't autumnal enough

Yes, I forgot it was fall. Yeah, well, we don't have doesn't go have fall. I'm company at all. Yeah I I broke a chair too. Here's what makes me rage. Have you ever have you ever broken you ever had a good chair break? Yeah, but I've broken a chair broken toilet toilet seats. If you can sit on it, I've destroyed it. I sat in this chair. It was already really low to the ground and I busted right through it and all these hot in front of all these hot girls while I was making a medallion. Drinking a drink, fell over backwards. I was really nailing her too. I had really tripped her up into you know, a her too. I had really tripped her up into, you know, a speaking issue. Did you just say that this doesn't look like shit or this doesn't look like shit? I was really, you know, pounding her. Really, when you get him- Chiseling.

Yeah, chiseling. You were chiseling. I was really chiseling her down on, you know- I like it. A statement she made earlier and right at the peak of it, the chair exploded. Yeah. And I fall backwards and spill all this shit all over myself and she just starts I like it. Statement she made earlier, and right at the peak of it, the chair exploded. And I fall backwards and spill all this shit all over myself. And she just starts laughing,

signaling to all the hot girls that they're supposed to laugh. And I get up and they're like, one of them goes, well, we could put this chair back together. I'm like, don't, what is, why is this the second time this week I've heard this? Once the chair breaks, you throw it away comes firewood Yeah, that's it. Do with it. These are you know, don't try to put them together and fuck over someone new but that

Also, I would love to see that arts and crafts of a bunch of women trying to reassemble furniture. That's been If you want to see cavemen try to fucking make a wheel. Yeah. That's what that would look like. Do you ever, where's this supposed to go? You ever wonder like I, cause I don't wonder, I'm certain of it that the guy who invented escape rooms was just working in a corporate office where a group of women had to do some sort of team building exercise together and was like, we should charge for this. We should, we should let people watch them try to do this. And by the way, I bet they're so dumb. They'd pay us to do it. That's how escape rooms were invented. They really love it. They do. They're just like, well, you know, have you thought

about this? They love puzzles. Yeah. Why don't you go do tax? Why they love true crime. Although they can think it through Fanticides about being loved so much someone wants to murder though Well, that's a whole different part of it than what I was gonna say They like to think that they can figure it out like they like to think that they can solve men You know what? I mean like I wouldn't get killed out jacking them off. Yeah. Yeah, exactly It's the most we can deal with these guys without having to fuck them. Yeah without them having to come. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you know what it is. He was probably molested. Well be that as it may. Let's send him to therapy God yeah be that as it may talking to you guys more. He wants to wear your skin

So you're what's your what's your work around for that Susan? They were big on consent too, but they were doing it really like this woman was, um, this man actually, this bartender was telling us a story about... I love that earlier I go, I would love to be the guy who tells the girls that the rapes are going to happen. And you go, that's horrible. And you go, anyway, these things, they're big on consent. Well, it's like, it's like weirdo consent.

Yeah. Like I feel like I could explain consent pretty easily. Sure. You know, you have to, someone has to like, um someone has to like you know want to have sex with you sure yeah pretty much everything you know sometimes that I don't actually believe anyone's ever wanted to have sex with me by the way I just think I don't know how I've sorcerer them into believing they need to or should but this guy was telling us a story about how he's a bartender and his bar has a wheel of

consequences that for fun, right? You spin it and you something weird will happen. You know, stupid kitchen. Women's job is to avoid the wheel at all costs. Keep it spinning. They get one. It never lands. It never lands.

There's a woman's version. It's like, it doesn't have one of those things. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't. There is no picker. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, yeah, we had a couple good cock punches tonight. It was one of the consequences of cock punches. His woman he was with kept going up consensually.

She kept leaning in to go, and they consented. And this is consensual. It's consensual, of course. In what universe does spinning a wheel with a cock punch on it, not, not count as consent. What do you mean consensually? The consent is being here. Spinning the fucking wheel. It's like showing up to an orgy and being like, now everyone consents to this, right? It's like, it's the main reason we're here.

It's what we came for. Like, wait a minute. I don't think you understand consent. It's not like we, we came to a softball game and started an orgy We're at an orgy and a matter of fact if a softball game broke out not consensual Yeah, I don't want to watch that. I don't want to play will not be able to get hard I don't want to watch if I'm supposed to fuck. Yeah, I do not want to watch would think about softball. Yeah It was bizarre

There's a cock punch there consensual she was just like lean over shoulder like consensual though yeah consensual though you don't even have a dick why are you involved in this some kind of HR parakeet just yeah consensual and then they had like every every urinals plastered with these signs I'd say if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Like consent is they come up with it. It's like the army. They come up with a different version of like, it's an army of one except for

consent, like at these weirdo. How many races have happened at these things? Not very many. Well, not as many as you would think. Yeah. It sounds like there used to be a lot more. I don't remember. I don't remember constantly thinking about rape at these events

Well, you know what it is. It's because the definition of rape has slid askew slid to cock punches They're now where it's like regret is now rape where it's like hey, I fucked that guy and 30 years later, I don't know if I maybe should have A crime has been a crime has been committed. Crime has been committed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and the, the people on the poster though are the skinny black woman. Nope. And it's already, it's already fake. Those don't camp and like it, right? They don't care. Who is this? That's what I'm like. Black women don't camp. There's no amount of hippie black people.

It's like one or two black people at all of burning man. I'll see like one or two at these little, little festivals and you find out they were adopted by whites. Yeah, they were taken. They were purchased from there. Like I did the Jared Taylor whites. They don't, they don't camp. I don't know what that's just not. They don't like it. So don't like in the day they've got bad, they've had bad experiences. Yeah. They don't boat or camp. So the, the consent poster or work has all three of those bad. They've had bad experiences. Yeah. They don't boat or camp. So the, the consent poster or work has all three of those things. They got a real sour taste in their mouths about camping, boating, working. You know what I would tell? Yeah. I mean, maybe

yeah, sure. Maybe when Mexican slavery ends, I'll get on my high horse about reparations. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that, is this a me thing? Like every time somebody gets on their soapbox about immigration, they're like, well, who else will do these jobs? I'm like, that's, so what, Mexicans are the only ones that are gonna, they're just like, what, they're genetically predisposed to picking fucking

apricots or something out of season? What the fuck are you saying? Do you know how offensive that is? You fucking bitch, you white fucking bitch. You, uh, yeah, I get excited. I get excited. So, so there is the part of me that's like, where do you get off with this shit? It's a part of me. That's like, I really hope Trump wins. But then there's a part of me that goes, you know, if Kamala wins, the country could get so bad that black people have to plug themselves back into the matrix. You know what I mean? Where they're just like, Hey, can we come back to the plantation because we don't have jobs and there's no money and there's, I am like, I would be,

there's going to go on skid roads. Like, you know, pick whatever you want for all the housing. The architect did look a lot like Colonel Sanders. You know what I mean? In the matrix. And so I do like the idea that like there is a dystopian future where black people have to plug themselves back. Is Kamala going to give We can't make it on our own. Did I read it right? That Kamala Harris is going to give black people 20 grand to vote for her. Yes. You're going to give a million loans of 20 grand that are all forgivable. Yeah. Wait forgivable loan is not a loan.

That's just a gift. Wait, what? Yeah. Did you spend the PPP fraud money and all the chase free money glitch? Wow. Inflation is really crazy. Yeah. I wonder why is it because we keep printing reparations? I couldn't believe I saw that. Yeah, I could. A million. I could. That was a little, that was a little gratuitous. I guess you have to be, you know, mr Thompson, we're going to give you a million loans. Yeah, 20 grand all forgivable. What business am I going to start with $20,000 Thompson by the way, nice neutral attempt. Like it's not a Jackson Jefferson

Jenkins. Sure. Yeah. It's going to work for 20 grand. No, the first of all, well, one of the things I like to do in my free time about it, but it's impossible for, did you see my, my interpretation read to it? I think you've liked it or retweeted. Oh yeah. What is the translation of what this says? Hey blacks won't pay back loans. It can't be trusted to, you know, the other one was like, Oh yeah. And they can't stop smoking weeds. So we'll just make that not a thing. Like, yeah, it's all soft bigotry of low expectations. But what's hilarious is, is if you go into like one of my favorite pastimes this week has

been jumping into like Tariq Nishid Twitter space. Is it like two in the morning? Okay. Just listening to the blacks be all riled up. They hate Kamala Harris. Oh, they do. Absolutely. Hater. They're like, they're just like, look at this, this non black, non foundational black American. Tell us foundational black. So foundational black Americans are the direct descendants of slaves. And so they think that a better black person that's not is what they call a tether. So they're a tether. Wow. They're trying to tell themselves to the, to the strife and lineage of foundational black Americans. See, this is people go, people like Denny, why do you put, well, listen to it? Cause I have to know what the enemy is thinking. How do I ridicule it if I'm not in it? Yeah,

I spoke at one the other day and I was just like, listen, are you guys, I like everything you guys are talking about. I gotta be honest. I think we agree on more than we don't agree on more. Yeah. I would like 20 grand too. Yeah. No, no, no. They hate the, just, we ain't falling for this again. What? And I just want to jump in and go, what if we threw in a side of white pussy and they go, well, I'm now I'm listening. And then all the black women in there get mad. No, the trader is saying as a motherfucker. Yeah. They think if you, if you're a black guy and you fuck white women, that's also, that makes you a tether as well. Look at you though. You think so? Well, yeah. You know, going by race, by their logic, by that logic. You agree with

it? Well, you can't be black. I go like, Oh, all this, like, this is tethering stuff and this foundational and you know, I'm going to, I'm not going to fuck my own race. That seems a little, that is true. That is true. It's funny. But the, but in that way, it's like, what a weird way, like black supremacists and white supremacists have common ground. Yeah. Like let's not let us not ever meet in the bedroom. Um, and then you don't have to discover the variants. So the, the consent billboards that they have plastered all over the place, which I don't understand. Um, and maybe I, I, I've started rethinking about it, rejiggering it in my brain because I thought it was about rape. I thought we weren't allowed to say those words on this show.

Ha ha! It's a skinny black woman who's never not camped at all, and an ambiguously straight man. Like, liberals have this... Like, if you picture a man, if we picture a man, it's like some strange caricature, like the brawny man or Magnum P.I. or something like that. I picture Brock Lesnar. Yeah.

In a flannel. Yeah. But if they when they do it, it's always this same rectangle headed like smug coffee shop guy with a with a beard and then a beard on top of the beard. Jason Sudeikis who does who is that? Let me look that up. The guy from horrible bosses, Dacus with a beard. Um, yeah, that's it. But even, but even like, but like Portland gay or yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, he's like as close as gay you can get without, without being gay. Kind of like Matt Walsh. Yeah. It kind of looked like Matt Walsh closer. Yeah. Yeah, with like a weird looking beard. Yeah, beanie. Yeah, beanie that's lopsided. Oh, yeah.

It's a big top where it tips over. Yeah. Yeah. So they have that and that all over it. And he's got his own hand-rolled cigarettes. This is an advertisement for rape. You have two very attractive individuals. And you're blasting about consent all over the place

This is not a like this is like yeah, you got gear. You got to get geared up to fuck something. Yeah Found it to be very odd. Yeah, he's a guy who started smoking in 2020 and he's going what the fuck is that? Like now that now that we've learned greatly what the health risks in and yeah things are and society is almost eradicated this I fucking won. I love it I'll do it start smoking I My man, I met a friend of mine The guy first met a bring me and took home to live with me for a little bit and he told a story that was sorry We just skipped over that

Now everybody knows this I don't want to bore everybody with this story again. Just a long time friend of mine I bought a man and I Met him and his his girlfriend had just cheated on him Sure, and she was living at home and he's like I don't want to go home and I was like fuck that bitch Come live with me Yeah And then tell her to kick her have you call your mom and tell her to kick her out of your house and then move back Yeah, so that's what he did. He stayed with me for a while. He's a funny guy. He He told a story that was so offensive. Six women just got

up and walked away. I love the, I, I would kill for those kinds of numbers. Yeah. I don't think I even got six at the standup taping. No, I think we only got four black women. I six is six is good. How did those women end? I was watching your, your set and they got so upset about, uh, black guys having purses. They started screaming all hell-naut and walked out Yeah, well wasn't that the black guys had the purses it was that it was how they acquired them I think that they were they were upset about that issue with my description of it I see yeah, because I said only a particular type of black gentleman. Yeah would Snatch a purse and another particular type of black gentleman would take a purse. And then another particular type of

black gentlemen would take an empty one from a department store. Oh, I said, that's what they were upset about. Yeah. So it was, you know, it's the juxtaposition of you're either an N or an F. And they're both not good. Yeah. They're both not, they're both not glowing reviews. I see that's that variance we were talking about. Uh, he, my friend goes, uh, he was telling a story about, uh, we were talking about how they got there though. We will never know. Yeah. What the hell is it? Did Josh like put an ad out on Craigslist for something? No, no, no. I wish it were that cool. Um, it is possible that they were invited by the other ones that my girlfriend invited. Oh, okay. So you know

how one of them talks to another one and then there's just more show up than you ever wanted. Yeah. You know, I've never been any place in my life, not even a pancake or E and been like, this place needs more black women. I have had that thought though. What? Yeah. Oh yeah. I was in Dubai. I'm like, you know what? This place needs more black women. I, and I got back to America and I heard a black woman screaming about complaining large soda or something. And I was like, God bless you. Now I know I'm back in America. Yeah. Yeah. Now I know sort of, they do sort of regulate a little bit. Yeah. They're right. They're very regulatory people. Islam is going to

come crashing in until it hits that black women for us. And there's going to go, what we not fit in to do is they love their clap hands and they love to tell you what they're not going to do. They're the opposite of consent. That consent form have like a battered woman or something. They're like a smoke smoking kills and it's like a sexy guy. Like, yeah, smoking is really going to fucking kill. Right? Yeah. Mixed like a battered who's getting raped. Yeah. Is it as the gay community having a big consent problem? I don't know. That's that's not been my experience. When, when

has there ever been this man like other than the other than the stuff other than the real f slurs from the Catholic Church or like, well, I didn't like it. Like I've never heard of gay men talking about rape. Like I was raped by this other man. It's a huge problem. What do you mean? I mean, I know it's not a huge problem because they're the same size. Yeah. You know, it's also not a problem because they they're like, eh, yeah, comes with the territory. Like I do think that a lot of gay men are just like, listen, the danger of being around a lot of guys who just want to fuck is that sometimes you might take one that you weren't, you didn't see coming. Yeah. Part of the occupational hazard, occupational

hands. Yeah. It's like, you don't want to get burned by the hot tar, but he also got to be in the game. I need rent. He said that the topic of putting dogs down comes up because my family had to put a dog down recently and I kind of brought it up as an aside. He goes, oh, I got a story about that. And he tells us, he starts telling the story about how his family had a sick dog and someone's girlfriend was there. And this was to illustrate how no one in his family was good,

but the outside person was good. And they're like, why don't I take the dog to the vet? And he started describing the story real drunk. Today, immediately stopped telling this story. There's a bunch of girls here. And I know where this story is going. I don't know exactly where it's going, but I know it's not going somewhere where everyone's

going to appreciate it. Anybody's getting their dick sucked at the end of the night. You found a way to simultaneously dry all the pussy here out in one shot. He's like, yeah, so my brother started feeding it just overfeeding it. Um, by the way, I imagine, I imagine this is veto talking in front of women anywhere where it's just like, Hey, you know what? I know. He's way aggressively, uh, uh, good at this.

Yeah, color me shocked. So he's sitting there fucking rocking, you know? And I can tell he's thinking about it. He wants to get the story out. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Like 10 minutes passes and he goes, my brother broke his neck in the bathtub. Oh my God!

I just started, I'm like, my head exploded. The dog had to be put down. They didn't want to pay for it. And he was like, I'll handle it. Oh my god, what? What? And all the women, I've never seen this look, where they're like, I'd stay like evaporated. Yeah where they're like, oh, I stay like evaporated. Yeah.

I'm like, oh my God. It's like in Harry Potter where they just like. The Dementor. They just sort of like, I don't even remember what it was called. It's like the Ark of the Covenant. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Focus back in the bathtub.

OK. Isn't it keyhole? Isn't it like a keyhole thing? I can't remember what it was Is that what is what is that where they like teleport they touch a thing Harry Potter a porthole thing and then they like teleport? Somewhere else man that magic made no sense. Yeah. No it didn't like come on lady. They're seven and then they're 15. How does that work? Also, let me see what did I have to talk? I also liked in those movies how Harry's girlfriends kept getting more ethnically diverse. Ching chong. Yes. Yeah. He had the ching chong.

He had a black one or an Indian. Oh, he did. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Thanks. I can do spells and this is what I am. And then jk Rowling's like, well, we don't want men and women's sports. Okay. Oh, now it's too far. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there were no gay wizards to my knowledge in the Dumbledore was gay. Oh, that's right. Oh, I forgot. They made it running the school was used to fuck Voldemort or whatever it was. I don't remember. Yeah. They touched dicks one time and then that made a spell happen and they became mortal enemies, which by the way is going to happen. if anyone touches my dick with their dick. We will be feuding wizards for the rest of our lives.

You know, I had a great moment this weekend, though. My girlfriend replaced- made our camping stuff easier. Herself? No, I'm kidding. She made our camping stuff, you know, improved it by buying more stuff. Sure, yeah. And she bought, like, a kit that was all self-contained. All the pot- like, a whole kitchen and one little kit And I was like oh, that's that shit, but I'm not gonna say anything right just gotta let them

You know If you can't you can't tell them to not buy stuff every day You got to just take the little little packages that show up so you can refuse the big packages like okay You had to spend ten bucks. Okay. Yeah three hundred bucks. No. Yeah, so we get there line goes from like a hundred to three thousand She just will yeah, it's Her big purchases are really really big like what yeah like and it's all it's all like It's it's hard it's like headshots or

Spa spa stuff. They like, they like their spa stuff, right? Yeah. Well, it's a massage and a facial and another massage and a acupuncture and you know, whatever else you do that at home. Yeah. Whatever else they, whatever else. Yeah, I know. I could needle her with this thing all day long. It's free. You don't have to pay anything. Uh, variance. So she, yeah, she, when she spends, she's like, well, you know, she'll literally be like, you don't think you could have got those like $85 jeans on sale. And then she'll be like, I got a great package. It's only $3,000. It's normally $ thousand dollars. Oh, wow. What a savings She bust out this little kid any none of it little pots and pans that all have this With little foldy suzie homemaker guy. Yeah, just like making eggs with this little tiny shit

And she's finally done gives it just like you know what this damn thing doesn't work at all I don't know why I I don't know why I bought this. She says it. Yeah. She makes this realization. I was like, what the f... Did anyone hear that? They can learn.

Because we're out of cell service probably. Wait a minute. A woman admitted her own mistake to herself? Buying this was a big mistake. If that happens in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it count? We'll find out. Here's Russell Brand selling some crystals. If that happens in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it happen? Does it count? We'll find out. Uh, here's Russell Brand selling some crystals.

You think about this. I think the, the rumble griff, not surprised that Russell Brand would sell crystals. Yeah. Um, how do I figure that? I would have believed that before. I would believe he became a Trump supporter. Yes. Uh, I agree.

Sorry. I'm assuming that's how he married. What's her name in the first place? Who did he marry? He used to be married to Katy Perry. Oh, he did. Oh yeah. All right. Let me, let me fire this up. Also his fat. What is this? You know, it's crazy because but it's also tough. It's like a, it's like a low cut blouse of some kind. Well, this is where I guess this is a very low V neck. Uh, it's a ewe neck. It's a ewe neck.

It's like a fringe frayed up here. This is it. I mean, this should be on the consent poster. Yeah, that's the guy that's new Just coming out of a bush with a suitcase that guy raped somebody for sure Why is he coming out of the bushes? He's selling an amulet Russell Brand is he's now a Christian he's baptizing people. I saw that pretending to be Jesus. Yeah and Christians, of course will believe For some reason they have this short circuit in their brain where they won't question anybody saying that they're Christian. They'll question

anything else. Yeah. But if somebody says I'm Christian and they look like the devil. Well that's one of the things. They have a pitchfork. They're like well you know I can't question someone's faith. That's one of the things I love about Catholics is they're actually kind of the opposite where they're like you're not Catholic enough. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like they're actually like you're not yeah, you call yourself a Catholic I don't think so you look at a woman's breasts the other day you fucking or you better you better talk to somebody about that In a booth. Yeah Talk to the booth attendant about that. Here's his here's his amulet commercial from Narnia where I had a holiday

Mr. Thomas Aslan all those guys and as you know airports are places for Wi-Fi and all sorts of Evil energies, think all the phones out there, all of the signals, corruptible and corrupting. Luckily I wear this magical Amulet from AirsTech that keeps me safe from all of the various signals out there. It also means look at this, look how strong I am. I think this is making me more powerful as a matter of fact look at that this stuff is absolutely packed with air tech I didn't even bring any socks or toothbrush or dog meats or anything like that just completely full of air tech you should get one as well particularly if you're planning to go to an airport anytime soon because the bloody things are full of lethal signals air tech a glorious amulet to protect you from corrupting signals.

Hello, I'm bro. So one of the, so I have so many things going on in my brain. One time I do love the idea that it's a magical amulet, but it's designed to counteract technology airports only. Yeah. Only in air. I didn't know that Christians had a problem with the airport. I also like it conservative. I also like that we're now thinking of five G as an energy, right? Like there's also this so bad vibes, five G equal. Yeah. One amulet to solve them both. Yeah. Yeah. It's got so much like a technology into there. Who knows what that is, but it's airs tech and it blocks out. What about cunt? Does it block out cunt when she's doing that? Like, yeah, I bet it doesn't. I bet it doesn't.

I've yet to find one thing that blocks out cunt. Did he not? Did he, was he pretending to be Jesus for enough time to start selling miracle amulets? Yeah. You need to sell the Jesus stuff a little bit more. I think you got to be sandals and robes. Yeah. You start with the amulets. You can't be, you can't be like silver Lake Jesus and go amulets yet. She's didn't have a mustard colored attache. That's a woman's suitcase. That's the woman he raped suitcase. That was her go bag for leaving her husband. And he's like, I'll just say, look, it's empty. That's the woman he raped suitcase. That was her go bag for leaving her husband. And he's like, I'll just say, look, it's empty. It's almost as if I emptied it out into a river. Who at rumble is not raping? Uh, Andrew Tate, one of their guys, right? Yeah. Yeah.

He did have a lot of those rape out, which, which by the way, is if you're going to become a religious guy, definitely wait until after all the rape allegations to transition, I guess it doesn't matter. Like, I mean, like I believe in God, but I won't pick a religion until they really get me on something. And then I'll, and then I'll find the one that gets, you know, Andrew Tate was like convert after they were like, yeah, yeah, exactly. They, they, and Andrew Tate, they're like, you're human trafficking. He goes, is it because I'm Muslim? Like, when did that start? Soon as the human trafficking allegations began, it's like, it's been, they're coming after me because I'm a devout Muslim. Oh, that's what it is.

That's crazy, man. Yeah. I think the issue is that when you get on your knees and pray five times to Mecca, there's a 12 year old girl's asshole in front of your face. That might be the problem. Consent. Yeah. They don't have it. They don't have it in Romania. The consent thing also say if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. It's like, well, I mean, I don't know if that's, I don't think that's the right message either. Yeah. Like if you ask me if I'm hungry, I'm probably never going to say hell yes, but please don't ever assume it's a no. Okay. So I'm going to just give you the one example. It could be just like a yes. Yeah. And a hell yes is like, you can still agree when you're drunk. Yeah, that's not consent

It's also really generally a hell. Yes, probably doesn't really mean yes The hell yes might actually be more of a no than the no. Yeah You would never do this if you were our new slogans are really like losing the Losing touch with reality. I think it's not, I don't understand what the point of this is anymore. It's been inverted and reflected so many times that I forget what you're selling here. Is it pussy still? Yeah. No, I think they stopped selling that to us a long time ago. And then the problem is they stopped selling us pussy a long time ago and now we've just got all this overstock that we're trying to work our way through.

We're trying to work our way through all this overstock and there's no amount of discounting it or slashing prices that can get rid of it fast enough. I heard this poor lesbian talking to her friend at this thing. Oh yeah. Now I'm picturing it. It's nice looking girl. Skinny looking girl. You know, unbelievable.

You see one and you just keep going, like, where did this come from? Right? So women have gotten so fat, even at these places where they're wearing nothing, they've just gotten so fucking big. It's sad. Buddy, I got to tell you, the best thing you ever said on Twitter, anywhere else, was when Milo, like two weeks ago,

said this is something about a fat girl. And you go, only when you realize they're all fat Milo, will you truly straight be straight. Yeah. He said, I finally figured out the difference between fat girls. I said, Oh Milo, you gay man. Yeah. Ah, that might be the gayest thing you've ever said.

Yeah. Yeah. You're outing yourself by believing there's a difference. No straight man would ever seek to uncover the differences. No woman on two identical women. No woman on earth has ever not thought of herself as the fat girl. You do realize this right? All eating disorders, all overeating disorders, all fashion choices. They just they think they're they all think they're fat.

Even the thin ones. Um, let me see here. I make sure there's no question for myself. Uh, I don't know. I'm sure there's no question for myself. I don't know. I'm looking for a... Oh yeah. Guys are playing more video games.

Let me pull up that. Oh, I cracked this. You did? I had a revelation about this the other day. I had no idea you were going to bring this up. Yeah. You know what it is? Hmm.

See if you agree with me on this. Okay. Because you live with one. Right. We can't be doing nothing. you can never just sit in the silence. They'll disrupt that immediately Yeah, oh you must be waiting for me to give you something to ponder think about her do for me Yeah, and you can't be doing something because that doesn't allow you to shut your brain down and relax Yeah, video games is this middle ground where it looks like you're doing something but Yeah, video games is this middle ground where it looks like you're doing something, but up here you're doing nothing.

It's the closest thing to peace we can get in their presence. I think you're right about that because you, because if they interrupt that, you go, I'm doing something, but you know, and I'm doing nothing. There's a shoe that can be moved. Every there's thinking about just agreements that could be aired for no reason. Yeah. Or just agreements that could be aired for no reason from years ago. There's a fight to pick. You know, there's all you can't be doing nothing. So what it is is this makes it look like you're doing something

and it gives you the excuse of, hey, I'm in the middle. Guys are doing it like a shield. It's a shield in the middle of something. Yeah, I'm in the middle. Doesn't matter what this the amount of time you spent playing gaming was not low. Yeah, here it is. So this is twenty, one hour, 2022, 1.8 hours. That's a shit load. Average daily hours.

That's daily. Guys are spending two hours playing video games a day? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's insane. Wow. That's a lot of time. I think at my most, with the exception of

like if I get into a game, like I got really into starfield and then I was like playing that sometimes for like six, seven, eight hours at a clip. But I do that like once a week and I, I just like flocked through. Yeah. Um, but like most, for the most time I play like a sports game and I'll play like a game a game of hockey or something and it's like 20 minutes or 30 minutes and then I'm okay. I'm out unless she's in the then I'll make it take as much time as possible. You like a simulator. Yeah. That's yeah.

That's why I like a game like starfield is great for married guy. Like I never understood like the big MMORPGs when I was like in my 20s working at video stores and the video game nerd guys who were older than me and married were like, have you played the new final fantasy yet? I go, no, I can't fucking sit down for fucking 36. I don't. How can you do that? And then now that I live with one, I got totally, I gotta get locked in. Yeah. It's the only, it's like, it's literally escapism. It's like, listen, she'll, if I don't do this, she'll never leave me alone. Yeah. I think you're right.

Oh yeah, here's the black men deserve a president who cares about making their lives. Let's see what this plan is. Kamala Harris has pledged to provide 1 million loans that are fully forgivable, up to $20,000 for black entrepreneurs and others. By the way, that could just be everybody. That could just be. And by the way, the blacks, when I was on the Tariq machine space, they were like, see, and others, it needed to be,

it needed to be just for us. Yeah, it has to be. And no others support education training and mentorship programs that lead to good-paying jobs for black men, including pathways to become teachers. What? Why would... Why would teachers be singled out? Well, my translation... So I'll translate this for you into liberal speak.

Blacks are too stupid to teach. That's what that says. That's what she's saying there? That's what she's saying. Listen, these guys are too dumb to teach. Protect cryptocurrency investments. So black men who make them know their money is safe. It's not right.

What are you talking about? So, you know, their money is saved. Yeah. Well, she's talking about a racially based insurance program with no deductible payment. So race based taxes. We're going to have a special black owned and operated cryptocurrency sponsored by the U S government. Yeah.

Bailout. I just calling out crypto for blacks, which by the way, they definitely, yeah. Bob coin. Yeah. Which they actually need for regular jail. Just bail out. Just give them bail for that. How the fuck are cryptocurrency first investments?

When did we start calling them investments? Does the SEC know that she's calling cryptocurrency investments? So black men, I didn't know black guys were big into crypto. They're not. This is an attempt to get them into crypto for when they go to a, a national digital currency. Okay. Right. They've got to get this is black people crypto training wheels. Oh, this is so they get, they get got to get this is black people, crypto training wheels. Oh, this is so they get, they get used to and assimilated to listen. Black people don't know how computer money work. Okay. And so what we would, what we're going to do is we, well, first of all, they don't think they can access them to get identification for voting. That's yeah. Remember she's like

black people don't even know where the library is. Say that they do. They do say that launch a national national health initiative focused on the illnesses that disproportionately impact black men. What illnesses Kamala? What illness is it? Illnesses. You know what they are. Heart attacks. Yeah. Heart disease. Yeah. That's the one diabetes. I never see that. Anyone say like, yeah, it's not fair that black people are Paying into Social Security when they die like at 65. Yeah, which actually would be a good argument. Yeah, that's really shitty actually Yeah, and also disproportionately affected by diabetes and heart disease well some of that could be genetic but a lot of it is probably because

You have less whole foods in your neighborhoods than you have churches, chickens, legalize recreational marijuana and create opportunities for black Americans, Americans to succeed in this new industry. Okay. Well, by the way, I say, fine. I say the same thing about that to black people when they talk about food deserts and they'll go like, well, you know, we just ain't got the nutrition in our neighborhoods because the white people be putting the chicken places in there to kill us. And I say the same thing to them that I say to people about porn is like, you know, you could just stop consuming it and it will close. Yeah. But, you know, and then if you only ate healthy food that would open

in your neighborhood, if there was a demand for it, they don't believe they control economics with choice at all. No, like women. Yeah, nobody wants to eat healthy though. Yeah. Here is... Nobody wants to stop jerking off. No. Here is... Do you see Elon Musk's rocket catch thing? You told me that. Nobody wants to eat healthy.

Yeah, Dick. You may be right. You see Vito's on the Ozempic again? Is it the real shit this time or... No, that's more like Chinese shit, I think. You guys didn't Patreon your way into authentic ozempic? I don't know why I mean he can afford it. Can he yes. Yeah, I don't know what the deal is Real stuff always pretending like he's broke. Yeah

You know what that is though what poverty mindset oh is it yeah, yeah some people have poverty mindset They can never escape it. I've never known a rich person with a poverty mindset. No, they're the most obnoxious people in the world. Why would it be? Because they'll drive a $300,000 car in the book. What do you mean? It's 50 cents extra for sauce. You never seen that? No. Oh, I see a lot. It's, it's actually common in comedians because they grew up poor and then they get this very easily obtained money. It's not like they had to pick up a shovel to make this money. They just sort of found their way into it and then they will do obnoxious shit like, Hey, you got this dinner, right? Yeah. You know what I mean? And then they're driving, they get out and it's like million dollar car. And you're just like, shouldn't

you get all the dinners with your, with your, with your McLaren cash. Yeah. Did you see the, the Elon Musk rocket catch thing? Yeah. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. I heard that the government pushed the launch date because they're constantly fucking with them. Oh yeah.

Well, they're using lawfare now against Elon because he's a Trump supporter. Yeah. They let him go early hoping he would fuck it up. Right? Because then he can't go around Pennsylvania speaking to, you know, retarded people, trying to get him to vote. It would look bad, right? But now it's a big hit.

How do you think this thing goes? The Trump thing? The election. I think they put a lot of illegals in a lot of cities and got them ballots, but I don't know if it's enough. I think he wins 40 states. Yeah? You think it's gonna be a blowout? Yeah, I think it's gonna be. It's not gonna be Mondale level, but it's gonna be close.

I think he gets over 300 electoral votes for sure. That'd be great and if what RFK is saying is true that he's like figuring out a plan to, you know, destroy the government. That would be great too. Because he fucked up the first time, big time, and got railroaded. He did this shit like, now we're all going to be friends, we're all going to work together as though that was based in reality at all. Well this is kind of the disadvantage of a guy having never been in politics before is

because he has no pre-established relationships. But he didn't go in there like you would imagine like a bulldozer and go, I'm going to destroy this whole thing. The first time he was like, Oh, I'll, I'll show you guys. I can do it. Like that mindset. Like, Oh, I'll show you guys. I could be one of the guys. No, no, no. One of the guys. You'll never put them in prison. Yeah. Yeah. And now he's like, I guess I do have to bulldoze it. Yeah. We told you that. Yeah. We elected you because we wanted you to do that the first thought you were gonna lock people up. Yeah, did it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they locked you up idiot. Yeah

So the I thought this was interesting the California Coastal Commission They've been like did you see fucking up all of Elon's rocket ship plans Did you see the what the woman on commission? What she said was the reasoning. I listened to a bunch of these. Which one are you talking about? Dangerous rhetoric supporting Trump. Was the like every single one of these was totally idiotic. Their, their reasoning for doing it was idiotic and it had absolutely nothing to do with rockets

or protecting the coastline or anything But what bothers me about it is that it's not that they do it It's that they tell you that they're doing it for that reason as if there's nothing wrong with it Yeah, like that's the biggest thing I have with like the unquote cancel. They're stumbling their way through it Like they can't even speak properly. Yeah, and they're you're like you're devastating you are devastating speak properly. Yeah. And you're like, you're devastating, you are devastating every new industry

that the US has or that the world has is being destroyed in the US by these people who are too stupid to even speak eloquently about the topic that is their entire job. Your entire job is to protect only the coastline. And you cannot even explain how destroy every cryptocurrency AI Rockets all of this shit is just destroyed destroyed destroyed by by midwits. It's her knee of midwits that first of all dick

I'm gonna tell you that I was raised in a middle-class family That's how they're gonna start responding to everything Just because she found the sonic booms terrifying. I'm like, oh man, that's like, that's the perfect answer that I would expect some little petty tyrant woman to give on a commission of like, Oh, I mean, I didn't stab you. We all did it together. Uh, that's the only reason these things exist, right? Did you ever have you ever, so I don't know if they still do this. I don't know if it was a moment in time or whatever.

But when I first moved to LA, I moved to long beach and I would fly out of orange county airport a lot. And there was a moment where one time when I'm takeoff, they like kill the engines as they fly out over the coastline. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And the pilot comes on and he goes, yeah, you guys may have noticed we had to kill the coastline. Oh, and I was like, what the fuck is that? And the pilot comes on and he goes, uh, yeah, you guys may have noticed we had to kill the engines there. It's part of a city noise ordinance. As we fly over these people, we're not allowed.

We're not allowed to use the engines because of the sound. So you're just going to hope that we got enough juice to fucking turn them back on and then you kick them back on. It's turning them back on. Yes. Yeah. So I remember hearing that and being like, this is a fucking joke, right? And then I asked like my boss and he goes, Oh no, they do that all the time. Now I haven't flown out of there forever because I haven't lived there since 2012. But I remember hearing that and be like, Oh no, the some things, some popular things must be destroyed.

Here's where the one of the, one of them is talking about, you know, why they gotta shut down these rocket launches. I was on the Channel Islands in August when a Falcon 9 rocket was launched from Vandenberg. The sonic boom was terrifying to everyone that was present and sleeping. They woke up terrified in the morning, not knowing what the loud explosion was. I felt it through my bones.

And SpaceX is yes, a private company. They have the nickname of Waste-X. Their satellites last about five years. So they're constantly wanting to increase their launches. It's a profit driven wasteful model. SpaceX use of kerosene based fuels results in the emissions of carbon soot. Okay why is this woman even weighing in on anything? Yeah I want to know let alone rocket launches.

What I think is interesting is how many women go into this climate space because I don't think at any point anyone ever sort of goes like, could you qualify that with some sort of data? Like at any of these things? She just said like, Oh, the kerosene based fuels leave carbon soot. Like show me. Yeah. Show me that. Explain it. Show me what that looks like and what it actually does. Yeah. Are you a scientist? No, no, but somebody told the scientists who told you, come in and tell us. Yeah. Can he show us how it now? His time's worth something. Yeah. Um, by the way, red flag, women are speaking. I'm going to go on a limb here and tell you that a liquid base fuel could not possibly leave a soot. I don't think that's going to work. Right?

I don't think that's going to help. Right? Yeah. I'm not a, I'm not a fuel guy. I'm not a physicist, but I'm going to go on a limb here and say that liquid based or gas based fuel does not produce living a suit. Yeah. I think if you burn wood or charcoal that could produce soot. Yeah

Oh, yeah, it's just one crazy person on the night. Hold on. What's this guy? And I don't know dread coming out the back. I don't know what this is. What does this guy looks like Bishop from X-Men focus on? Making sure that the I'm, you can't have that tough of a haircut. I know, right? Hey, what kind of haircut do you want? I want to look like Mr. T. But like a little bit more butch in the back, like dreads coming out the back like the Predator. Yeah.

And you know, Mr. T. Fucking Mr. T. Mr. T? Are you sure? Yeah. Why? Why do you say that? And these are all, I mean, I think that all these other concerns are like, yes, we're concerned with how the technology is going to be used. Yes. We're concerned with, you know, all the launches and what's going into space and who controls it and all those things. He's even boring the lesbian next to him. Look at him. She's just like, is it done talking yet? You don't

have any, you have no right to have concerns, buddy. None of you guys know anything. Fucking Jiminy Glick sitting next to him. Oh, that's one of the toes impressions. What is the steel towel guy? Jiminy Glick. Oh really? You know that guy? I want it ratted out Nick Reketa. Oh no. Okay. I know who he is. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah Yeah, as much as I try to avoid all that it's impossible my friend Cory used to be Aaron's co-host way back in the day Oh really? Yeah, because that's where I started comedy was Minnesota Yeah, I lived in Minnesota was a comedian and he was one of Aaron's co-hosts for a long time Wow, and then Aaron asked me to come on his show

as a co-host once in a while, like two or three years ago. I said, yeah, no thanks. And then immediately he was like, Josh Denny's an Uber driver. He just immediately turned into one of those trolls. And then at one point he started turning into like a, he started copying red bar and was like, I'm gonna be a show that talks about other shows.

And I was like, yeah, but you might not wanna do that with your wife sitting next to you. And, uh, you know, cause she can, I, I know women and she can't handle it. And, uh, and I was right. And it blew up in spectacular fashion. So I'm, I'm honestly like the libertine in me is like, uh, I have no problem with Nick Riketa's situation at all. Yeah. Where I'm just like, okay, well this guy's took his wife, you took your wife over on a podcast play date to get fucked by another man and she didn't come back. That does happen. That has been known to happen. You knew that that was a possible thing is like you some, sometimes when you take people

to a gang bang, they don't come back. Right? They go, I think I'm going to stay and enjoy the cocaine and the, and the knuckle dust and not you. Yeah. And the, that, so, so, you know, it's like, yeah, I look at Rikada and I go, I don't think he did anything wrong. I just think he's a guy who's getting his, I hope he doesn't go to prison. Well, there is that part, right? But, but the, but the thing that's crazy to me, I mean, I don't know, like, listen, not to be this guy, but it is going to test his legal prowess. Isn't it? Yeah. Like, you know, you have been on the internet being like, you know, as a lawyer, what I think to really prove your metal, the, the, for the, for keeping your own kids and staying out of prison. Like this is anyone here, a Marine biologist. This

is your super bowl, my friend, right? Like the sea was angry that day. My friends, here's a survey of people who said that Hitler had some good ideas. Let's see here overall. What do you think overall? What do people say? What do I think people say? Or percentage of people that said Hitler had some good ideas in this legitimate survey. Oh, is it all people or is it just Nick Fuentes followers? Well, I don't know. It's all people. This is for all people. I would say there are probably there were probably partners, probably less than 20% of people think Hitler had some good ideas. You're correct. It's 11% 11% of all people. I guess that seems hot seems high. No, I feels low. Feels low? I mean, yeah, it feels.

Seems high, but then I heard today that Twitch banned all of Israel. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What happened? I was in the middle of a mission.

I see, Twitch banned all of Israel. And then I saw some- Oh no, all my guys. Saw some guys saying, well, we got to alert Jewish groups. And I was like, hold on. Did you say, did you mean is Israel groups? Yeah.

Jewish groups. Yeah. Did you ban Jews or just Israel? Because I'm pretty sure you guys got to stick, you know, while you don't, I mean, obviously not that, but that wouldn't happen a year ago before October 7th, before they started blowing up entire countries and waging war on everybody. That shit wouldn't have happened. Yeah.

I wonder if it had nothing to do with the conflict and just about how they were playing their games. Like, all right, everybody were loathing index, some call of duty. And first of all, everyone named for the women and children first. We're only going to be camping. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What do we go? Listen, we're only here to find the terrorists. Oh no, look, they're all terrorists. Like crazy. One year, not a difference. And then all the talking about it on Reddit's getting banned. You just tell those children, well, we do have a right to defend ourselves. You see, uh, I was merely defending myself against these small children. I hate that meme. It's an elementary school threat. Quick throw your grenades. I was in there.

Can we please make a call of Judy hospitals? None of the, none of the battlegrounds are battlegrounds. They're just all nice. 20 future terrorists. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We have to do is get them at the source. You see, yeah. You blew up the school with a, with a weapons depot under it and the one next to it. Cause they would have just used that one. How many do you have to kill before they put you on the chair and they get there?

And then, and then, and then I know is there like a, is that what happens when you get the high score? Uh, and I saw some, some were like, we can eat we need to boycott Amazon. Okay. Good luck with that. That's okay I'm just gonna let you know a little secret I'll never boycott Amazon could come into my house and murder my wife and I go like you guys probably had your reasons She does return a lot of stuff. Yeah And by she I mean I have to return it for her because going to the whole foods to return your Amazon purchases is beyond her capability. Cause then they get sucked into whole foods.

Yes. That is why you can't take them. Oh yeah. Cause they go, well, we're here. I'm going to put, I'll take it back to the UPS store. You are not taking it back to whole foods. Yeah. You're going to come back with a flat bread pizza and all kinds of fucking stuff.

Okay. Well, that would not be okay with, but she never comes home with flatbread pizza. My girlfriend will gross. If she goes grocery shopping, she will only buy the things that she likes. Oh, so she'll be like, I got us groceries and I go, no, you didn't. What does she get? She'll get, I don't know, like fucking, uh, terrible snacks. Like, like dried chickpeas and you know, fucking seeds, you know, she's like, Oh, they're gluten free. And I go, yeah, but they're also food free. Yeah. Yeah. These are the things you put in the ground that they turn it into food. You don't eat them at this point. These, what are you going to do? Fucking abortion clinic and go like, Hey, before you throw that away,

like the fuck you doing? It's not ready yet. 18 to 30, 18 to 30 year olds, 20% said Hitler had some good ideas. And by the way, probably 70% of them are just trying to be funny. I don't know. I don't know what they know about anything. I don't believe they actually know of anything. I know. I know who's teaching them and they're stupid. Yeah.

So I got to assume, you Yeah. Well, that's what I think is funny is when everyone talks about it, they go like, well, you know, I got, I got my channel banned because of the JQ and it's like, well, yeah, you guys are just asking questions but so far I haven't heard any answers. Like Carl and I went into a couple of these like anti-Semite spaces and it's like, what we need to do is we need to go into Candace Owens comments. We need to raise awareness. Yeah. And it's a lot of raising awareness and raise a lot of awareness that there are Jews and there are, they are out there and that they have a lot of them have similar jobs. And if you don't notice it, well then you're asleep and we need you to know that that's happening.

We know what they're doing. I don't care. I don't care. Yes. Yes. There are a lot. This is the thing that's so funny to me too. This is what I say to all the people who are like, you know, I've gone down the JQ rabbit hole and I go, yeah, yeah. And then like my favorite thing is when I go like, uh, like you, you need it. Like I'll say, yeah, like, well I'll say something where I'm just like, like, I remember we went into one of these spaces and they were like, uh, you know, I was like, well, I think we have, I think our inner cities are way more like the problems are way more black related than they are Jew related. And they go, who do you think's

running the blacks? And you just go, wait, do you think they're Jewish people in some sort of control room operating the black populace? Yeah. You know, and then they go like, well, the Jews, they, they run porn and they run, and they run and they run all entertainment and you know, you could just not do any of the stuff, right? You could just not like this seems like, uh, this seems like, um, what's that guy was Farrakhan's talking points from the seventies. This is like militant black supremacy talking boys that you hicks have talked your way into. Yes. And it's also like, do you not have free will at all? Like the, what happened was the Jews came in and they did their sorcery and we've all, we all succumbed to it. It's like, well,

you're talking about things that you have the ability to not partake in. Right? They like, I love that they do usury. Don't borrow money. Well, but I don't have money. Well, then they've got you. So, um, 30 Dicks, like I do agree with this one. I'll move on. Everyone. Yeah. 30 to 50 year olds, 16. So it kind of drops off by 5% 50 to 65 year olds, 7% 65 plus only 5%.

I think Hitler had some good ideas. Black people, 20% Mexicans, 20% white people, 8%. Yeah., okay. Well 8% that will admit it Yeah, that's where the work that's where right there. That's where the work I'm wondering what to be done needs to be done black people the 20% of black people I wonder why they think Hitler had good ideas Yeah, cuz he was killing a lot of ideas. Yeah, that could be it Maybe yeah enemy of my enemy is my enemy type of a thing. Here's, here's FEMA doing some work in the hurricane area. People, a lot of FEMA is getting

a bad rap, I guess for, I don't know. It's good thing there's a 20 second video of them handing logs to each other. Yeah. for all my concerns have been lifted interfering with relief efforts of private relief efforts. I don't know. I don't know if any of that's true. Honestly, I assume it's true because every person from the government I've ever dealt with has been a huge asshole. So if anybody says a story about them handling something poorly, I just believe it.

Yeah, me too. It's all bureaucratic. Like 90 when, when Elon said we could probably cut 90% of it and not even notice he's not exaggerating. Yeah. That might, that number might even be on the low end. Yeah. I'd be willing to bet if you just took it where the, like where the money goes, you could probably slash 95 to 98% of government spending. Yeah. And every election, the almost all of it could go to the private sector. Yeah. Why do we, the... Almost all of it could go to the private sector. Yeah.

Why do we have public schools? Well, why is there a federal department overseeing... Do you know why? Because the constitution has vague language that says promote the general welfare. And then liberals and women, when we let women come in, they go, well, isn't everything the general welfare? Aren't there kids somewhere that I don't have control over. Yeah, like that's part of the general welfare.

And it's so it's like this idea of the government has a responsibility to promote the general welfare to me means they shouldn't poison us. They shouldn't endanger us and they shouldn't. But they shouldn't have put that shit honestly. I just want to go back and sit down at the Congressional convention. The first one and go like, Hey, lower than consent. You guys need to cut out all this flowery bullshit. You need to speak more clearly. You need to write it a couple times. So it makes sense. Okay. Pretend you're explaining this to your wives. Why would we do that? Oh, you're

going to want to sit down for this one. Well, I'm a, I'm a big fan of the constitution because the word woman isn't in it once. Yeah. Yeah. They even when they, they were like, okay, people can vote regardless of gender, but they don't say specifically women have any, that's why I love women when they go, they're taking our rights. Actually we kind of, we kind of wrote it in a way where you have expressed, you had no right at all Every time an election comes around everybody throws a big fit about the like the concept of an electoral college and the concept of a federal government and I It's it's just

It's really impossible to explain to them that the, ironically, that consent like falls off consent drops as a function of distance, you know, somebody's as somebody gets further and further away from you have you have less, you have less autonomy, you have less right to consent to their governance. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I can consent to the governance of my own house, right. I can consent to the governance of my town.

I could leave it. I could consent less to the governance of the state, and I pretty much can't consent at all to the federal government. They won't even let me leave. And as that consent drops, the power and influence over you should similarly drop. And like, this is a major... Like, all this we the people shit, you should have replaced that with like a real simple explanation

of what you guys are going for here. Right. And it was, I've solved a lot of fucking problems that we have every couple of years. Yeah. Um, but that's a big one. Yeah. So all these things get like the government shouldn't be involved in disaster recovery relief at all. Not to federal government. No, no state governments can do that. Yeah. You know, it's it's it's like where do these guys these guys live in the state, right? They're not flying in from Maryland to help with a hurricane. They live in the state So why aren't they doing it in the state? Can I bring up something that's gonna blow your fucking mind and you'll do a rage over? Okay

This at this Promotion of mental wellness and mental health. Yeah is Becoming one of the largest disability scams in America. So what happens is women, now that we've accepted that mental health is real and it's a problem, women are using anxiety and depression to go on government assistance disability to not work. Whatever happened to take your pussy out

and start the camera? You know what I mean? Like, they won't even do that. They won't even do that. They can literally go to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist will- Another woman. Another woman.

Two women are agreeing that they don't have to work? That they don't have to work, yes. Two women. And there's a degree involved somehow. Yep, two women enter enter our money leaves and they literally go on assistance because life is hard. Life is hard. And so when you look at people around LA and you go, how do these people, how are these people in coffee shops? Doesn't anybody have a job? The answer is no. How are you living man? Yeah, they don't

have jobs. They don't have jobs. That's why when people are like, oh Denny, what do you have side jobs? Yeah, cuz I'm not gonna go to a psychiatrist and go can you tell people I'm sad so I don't have to work? But will they give that to men? Because I'm not an N! Somehow I don't think so. I hate being censored by you. I'm sorry. You're so bad. You and your fucking precious Jew money! I'm sorry bad. You fucking precious Jew money Okay, here's my patrons, but my mortgage you see don't say you precious ends, you know It's just I grew up in a different time. We can say it in private but not in Recordings and I'm honest. I say it everywhere. I'll say it. I

Will eventually be shot for it And I'd like to buy a white woman. Yes. Who's like, she goes, I did that for him. She points to a black guy. He's not even paying attention. I did it for you. Did it for you. What is this? The CBP secures our nation's borders. Doesn't need to facilitates lawful international custom. Oh, customs and border protection. They posted this. Yeah. Okay. So customs and border protection. He's not, they don't do anything, right? Yeah. They do anything. We got stopped on the way back from the festival. One man can't carry a log. We need to pay 30. So these guys are the we've got 20 gentlemen here. Black woman doesn't need to be in a woman and none of

these people could figure out a wheelbarrow. They've got one, two, they're all handing a log like a bucket brigade. By the way, this is this video, save this to your hard drive. This is how federal government spending works. Yeah. We're going to pay 40 people to do the job that one 14 year old with a wheelbarrow could do. And you also noticed that there's not a continuous stream of logs. Yes. Like there should be in a bucket brigade. Yeah. There's just one. Yeah. When Elon says we're going to cut 95%, this is what he's talking about. Really amazing that they thought this would be, by the way, their shirts don't say volunteer. They say CBP federal officer. Every person doing this

probably has an 80 to a hundred thousand000 a year salary. That's great. And they're handing logs off to each other. What's this guy doing? They're probably getting overtime, actually. He's supervising. You know cops just ride the metro rail around for overtime? Yeah. They pack it, they'll pile it on.

Yeah. Just ride it back and forth. Yeah, and then they see a guy jerking off, they go, I ain't doing anything about that. Yeah, whatever. I'm not taking a shot. Let's see. So that's pretty good. This was a good one.

Turns out that there is a lot more violent crime. Oh, yeah. Well, daddy knows that. And there was. It turns out that everyone who's been saying there's so much more crime and all these dick brains who say there's not, that's a myth, turns out we were right. Yeah.

The FBI went ahead and revise their stealing purses. I don't know if people have seen that. The revised crime. Yeah. It was actually up. What does this say? Oh, it's up 5% instead of dropping by 2%. So whoops, 5% that's a lot more crime. Given that almost all murders are reported. I always find the sentence that I don't think anybody else really noticed when you say most how many are unreported Murders, yeah Spitball me a percentage because if it's more than one I'm concerned. Oh, man, I don't know and this is what's crazy

Do you what if someone just goes missing though? I had this thought that probably happens a lot I had this thought that probably happens a lot. I had this thought the other day Like how many people in our father's generation killed somebody and got away with it and never like before there were cameras There were forensics like do you know many 80 year old murderers are probably just walking around Yeah, at least half. Yeah, I'm gonna say at least half Killed their first wife. Mm-hmm fucking strangled a like, you know, I'm just there's it's, it's, it's astounding to me. Cause I, cause you watch like, you'll, you know, she drags me into the, watching the fucking murder shows and I go like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get how they catch them all now, but like, what about only 30 years ago when none of this

existed? Yeah. Like pre internet, how did you catch them? And they go, wow. Well, I don't even know if that's true because, okay, so look at it. The clearance in 2022, the clearance rate for murder was 52%. That means 52% of cases were cleared by arrest. So half of murders are caught. I don't think, I don't think that cops were any better or worse than they are today at catching murderers. I think they locked people up or killed them who were innocent just because they got a bad vibe. But probably all the technology proves more people innocent than it does. Yes. Oh, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. So they all, so it's a coin toss basically. Yeah. You could kill somebody in, but I'd be willing to bet there were someone that

the thing in that sentence that triggered me was when it said almost all are reported. So I'd be willing to bet nowadays it's probably like 90% in our father's generation. I bet only 20% of murders were ever reported as murders. Yeah. We're reported. How many murders were she fell? Oh yeah. Or he fell, you know, like, Oh yeah, we were all, listen, we all agree like how many, how many stories of that were there like in the sixties and seventies where people were at a burning man camping situation and Jeff told the story about breaking a dog's neck and everyone's like, Jeff's a fucking asshole. What if Jeff falls into the bonfire and nobody ever hears from him again? We all can agree

that Jeff, like how many of our grandparents or even parents had murder packs with like their friends were like, listen, we all know that, that Veronica's husband drowned her out there on a boat that day, but we don't, we don't talk about it. Yeah. Like I know what you did last summer is probably just a biography of all of our parents' youth. Yeah. We killed, we killed a guy once. Yeah. You know, we don't talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, listen, I'm not going to put a number on it. It's a lot more than you think it is. It's a lot. I sit in diners and I look at seven year old guys and I go, how many bodies like war aside? If you went, how many bodies have you contributed? yeah non-war bodies?

You know and like cuz my dad will tell stories I post this on Twitter the other day like if your parents are still alive like pick up the phone once a week and call Them and just go tell me a story. You've never told me before Yeah, our dads will have stories were like yeah, man We were all playing baseball and one kid took a dinger to the head and fucking bled out and died right there on the mound And you're like you saw that at nine ago. Yes, man fucking 50s and you're like Jesus Christ, man Like it's in the the level of like Accidental student may have yeah

I'm just like off the chart shit like that that happened before people were before there were cameras or He had cops were up your ass all the time. Yeah. Yeah This I thought was funny. I assume it's true or he cops are up your ass all the time. Yeah. Yeah. This I thought was funny. I assume it's true. But you know, you never know. Says my girlfriend uses chat GPT every time we have a disagreement.

This is a Reddit post. Am I the asshole for saying she needs to stop? Yeah, I have a female friend who used chat GPT to write a legal letter the other day. And I was like, she told me that. I was like, you guys are fucking retarded. You're so retarded. You're all retarded.

You can't even be troubled to think for yourself anymore. Did you ask ChatGPT if you should do that or did you just do it? Yeah. Me and my girlfriend had been dating. Yeah, we've had a couple of big arguments and some smaller disagreements recently. Each time we argue, my girlfriend will go away

and discuss the argument with ChatGPT, even doing so in the same room sometimes. I've already got a solution. Finish, I've already got a solution. Whenever she does this, then she'll come back with a well-constructed argument, breaking down everything I said or did during our argument. I've explained to her that I don't like her doing so,

as it can feel like I'm being ambushed with thoughts and opinions from a robot. So she goes and explains the argument to chat GBT and then comes back and reads Reads what chat GBT says in response to her framing of the argument, right? That's that's great, which is completely objective. Totally insane certain. It's objective and fair It's nearly impossible for a human being to remember every small detail and break it down bit by bit But AI has yeah, that's the issue buddy, but AI has no issue doing so. I wonder how many women are doing this? Getting like relationship advice from an AI and assuming it's like well the AI said so

that's what the- whenever I've voiced my upset, I've been told that chat GPT says you're insecure or chat GPT says you don't have the emotional bandwidth to understand what I'm saying emotional bandwidth a fucking regurgitated mess of other of other Of other mental deficients online and therapy addicts. Yeah coming back at you being read off of a piece of paper Written by a computer my big issue is her formulating the prompts So if she explains that I'm in the wrong it's gonna agree without me having a chance to explain things. TO THE COMPUTER! Am I the asshole for asking her to stop using ChatGPT in this content? We've got a solution for you.

Yeah, what's that? Every time she comes back with the ChatGPT solution for the argument, then you should have a full-sized, a full sized, lifelike sex robot replica of her best friend or her mom. Okay. That sucks your dick as soon as she comes in with the chat GPD argument. You could use your own AI for that.

My robot says that you're being a cunt right now and you should do this. My AI has made a picture of your friends sucking my cock Yes, your best are we gonna use a friend of one of her mom have one of her dad Have a sex robot of her dad. Yeah sucks your dick every time she comes. I'm sorry Were you gonna what they are you coming back in to start the argument again or cuz I thought I think I just finished it God that would be fun. Yeah, is that what therapy is going to be? Therapy light? So how I'm going to do it.

That's how send your mental case and Chad's EPT. Yeah. To the, to the doc, to the robot doctor. Yeah. Explain your issues so Tumblr can regurgitate them back to you. As if, as if psychology and psychiatry wasn't already entirely bullshit. It's this. Well, here's the thing.

Psychiatry and psychology is all is a science built around the concept of consensus, right? Which is not a science at all. Right? Like it's science is going, we've done a hundred studies and this is what the studies have shown. Yeah. Psychiatry is like a thousand doctors have all talked to people and this is what we all agree upon.

We think. Yeah. Like like it's it's a consensus based Mm-hmm practice. Yeah, so it's like now you're just taking that and aggregating it greater and more immediately Yeah, so it should be that's fine, right? So that should be covered by Health care sure yeah, you send him to a room. You got a little guy a little lady in there Doing robot shit is he projecting his narcissism? That's what they all Yeah, you send him to a room, you got a little lady in there like, bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop Is he projecting? Is he projecting his... He's insecure. He sounds insecure. He's obviously a narcissist. Obviously a narcissist is the answer to every woman's problems ever. He's a narcissist.

Oh, wow. He is a chronic pathological narcissist. They love to use the adjectives that describe his narcissism as well. To make it worse. Yeah, yeah. Because the narcissist... This wasn't just regular narcissism. Pathological.

Pathological, chronic, und because the narcissism wasn't just regular narcissism. It wasn't just pathological. Pathological, chronic, you know, undeniable narcissism. Uh, Daily Mail, it turns out that gay voice is real. You can tell that a man is homosexual from the way he talks. Say, scientists. I don't believe in this at all! No! Wow, science finally made a breakthrough. High-pitched extended vowels,

an incredibly articulated so-called gay voice is the real phenomenon. So, like what you're saying is... Wow. Okay. Mitch Moffat and Greg Brown, who are both gay, explored what exactly constitutes a gay voice and what might cause it.

I thought they did it on purpose so they would look gay. No, I'll tell you what causes it. If I jam something in your ass right now, what noise would you make? That's where it comes from. Oh, I see. That's where it comes from. You do that. You live in that register.

You see? They asked gay men to speak with higher pitched variation, meaning their range from low to high is more extreme than straight men. Yeah. Okay. This is news. Uh, it's sad. The S sound seemed to be spoken amongst gay men.

Yes they do. Uh, it doesn't say why though. Come on. Pitch variation. Yeah. Range of lists. Oh wow. They studied a bunch of gay lists and categorize.

They got a whole library like the seed library. Nice. If gay lists one, but one key observed difference between the sexuality is this straight men are more likely to mumble and slur their words compared to gay men who are more articulate. Yeah, well, when your life is on the line, you probably learn how to get to it quickly. Yeah. Gay voices linked to hormones.

Oh, okay. Specifically the male sex hormone testosterone. What? It performs a variety of function of the body and they, because they get, they have more testosterone? Specifically for the voice, it deepens it during people are they saying gay guys don't have testosterone Yeah, they have less they're saying is that true or had less during puberty Huh, which is a possibility that definitely has a lot to do with the way your voice sounds

During puberty. Yeah, are you gay? Is that when you become gay? I thought you were gay before that So the theory went that gay men weren't, for whatever reason, getting as much testosterone. I don't know about that. However, oh, OK. The studies to explore the theory found no evidence of this with gay men. All right. Producing just as much testosterone.

Yeah, I thought they just did it to be funny. Yeah. I do think testosterone levels affect, you know. You do? Oh, yeah. Sex drive. Wouldn't they be more than? Because you're gay.

You get a bang all the time. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. No, I'm saying it might cause you to be gay. When you wanna be? When you wanna be gay? If you're on the edge like, oh yeah, okay, I gotta, I really need some sex so I'm gonna go ahead and be gay. I don't know.

I don't know, I just, I like to think, you know, I like to fantasize that gay stuff was just Invented to spite women. I mean that makes me enjoy it more like I think about like Alexander the Great I could have had any woman he wanted but he didn't want any You know, that's the last sense the last land he conquered. Yeah. Yeah. Hey Alexander the Great You want that Cleopatra? He's like I could take her to leave it. Yeah Used up fuck. I'll just I'll just fuck my generals or whatever. I don't know. Fuck dudes. I like the idea of they were just like,

you will never get this. And he was like, I could take it or leave it. Like I was telling you. The only way to win is not to play. Yes. I was telling you before we started the show that I was like, my house was empty this morning. And it was like the best silent sleep.

There was no TVs on, no nothing on, no stepping in the background. No like a job. No, yeah, no nothing Absolute silent reading sounds you got sounds at your house readings. No, no, she doesn't mine doesn't read mine Mine does Instagram and occasionally will watch sex in the city. You don't get Instagram sounds every once in a while No, yeah, it's just lady shrieking rolling videos. What was that? Yeah. Yeah. Um, nothing, absolutely nothing. And I was just like, I'll never like if something happens to her, I'll never replace her. Like they'll not the way that she thinks you mean that. Yeah. She's like, wait, you know, how long she goes, how long would it take you to move on? I'll never move on. I'll never move on. Oh, it's because you love me. So yes, that's why I could never find another woman that I would be willing to endure this. I would never,

I would never, I would be like Kung Fu. I would just get lonely. Not a day, not a day goes by that. I, that my little worse things than lonely that my Loneliness outweighs my freedom. You know what I mean? Yeah, give me death. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's liberty or death Yeah, it's yeah. No, well, you would never have the company of a woman. No, I didn't say that I didn't say I would never entertain the company of a woman, but try not to I would definitely avoid it at all costs entertain the company of a woman. I would definitely avoid it at all costs. Twitter's changing their block thing. Yeah, you told me people are freaking out about this.

Yeah, Maddox is really, you know Maddox, that guy? I mean, only from the history of the show. Twitter's changing their block, so people you block can still see your tweets, but they can't interact with it, which is fine, because they already can do that. Yeah, it doesn't change anything They can look they can go in unlogged in yeah, and they can create burner accounts But honestly this blocking change is gonna make it real easy to make fun of people

Oh, yeah, if I can see them and just instantly screenshot and post yeah, that's gonna really revolutionize especially this close to the election That's gonna change the game. Yeah. So mad at people who get made fun of a lot are losing their minds about it. Yeah. Let's see. Maddox got a bunch of them. Yeah, I don't care.

I don't know who you are. Oh, he's people are complaining that he docks them. Also no privately identifiable information was posted. Unlike the group he was docksed everybody in the old dick show Facebook group unlike the group you're in which has actually Doxxed me numerous times if you don't want to be associated with a hate mob Don't join one and yes that group is rife with Nazis Love when people say rife with Nazis Everything's just rife with Nazis have you ever been to that? Have you ever

been to that burger King down there on fourth? It's rife with Nazis Nazis, right? Why? Well, I asked for two Zesty sauces. They gave me one rife with Nazis. That's what I'm going to start saying every time I get told no somewhere. Hey, I don't want to pay 8% interest on this. I'd like to pay zero. This place is rife with Nazis. Rife, rife, rife with Nazis. It's crawling with Nazis. Jerry, right? It's rife with Nazis. You've a regular guy says fart liquor, fart liquor user fart liquor says you put my name out there. Link to a group that can easily be found implied that I was a Nazi for being there. Luckily I deleted that Facebook account years ago. Stop listening to that podcast too. I enjoyed the documentary until that part reminded me why everyone hated you. Oh yeah. Take responsibility for your decisions.

I didn't imply everyone in that group was a Nazi. I think right. Implies. I think when you say it's right with you didn't say it's it's sparse one or two sparsely populated with the Nazis got you in there rife is everyone yeah rife means that you know a most it's accepted most Nazis yeah though there are many I've processed most of the removal requests but you seem defensive the names were collected after evidence of the rape list if you were in it that's on you Amazing wait an amazing guy on rape list. Oh, yeah Maddox Maddox is obsessed with this Maybe maybe it's still up. I can show it to you. So these these clowns

These kids who are listeners of the show made a Made a dick show board on 8chan. You know 8chan? It's like the stupid, it's like just a 4chan that anyone can make a new board on. I don't even know if it's, is it still up? It's back from the internet grave? Oh, they terminated the service?

I don't know. Let me see if it's still up. Dick Show 8 Chan rape list. So they made this Dick show board on there to talk about the show, to get people over. And then they made a thread of, well, somebody made a thread of who should be raped. Cause Maddox's catchphrase on the old show was get raped. If he didn't like your comment or whatever,

he would tell you to get raped. And then as a natural progression, one would think, think the fans would go if we had to list them yeah what would be the order in which people had to get raped so somebody made a thread on there of they started it with this girl Lenora who came on the show why would you have that as a catchphrase and then be averse to a list well he, because it was something he used against me. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's why. It's gay.

So somebody made a thread say who should get raped and put this girl on there, Lenora Claire, who's on the show. And she had a crazy stalker, so I assume it was him. Like, he would... She had a restraining order against him. She had a ton of problems with one guy. If you're going to start a list and then it sort of zeros in on one specific person. Yeah, it's an Occam's razor scenario at that point. It's like the most likely explanation is it's the guy who wants you at the top of the list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, it's the stock right yeah So then a bunch of people came in and put like Hillary Clinton on there and Miss Piggy and like stupid shit

So Maddox has been running with this that this was like an official show List of women who should be raped yeah, even though it contained fictitious characters like Hillary Clinton. Yeah and Obama Yeah, yeah, yeah And that's been his like he made an entire documentary based on basically this retarded rapist. Wow. That a couple of guys. Wait, he did a whole documentary on this?

He made a three hour documentary. You didn't know about this? No. Maddox spent the last five years of his life. No, no, I know he did a documentary. I didn't know it was about this one thing. It was about. I didn't watch it.

It was about like didn't watch it. It was about Things like this like tweeting about me Insane stuff. Yeah, he gave he gave some Podcast a list of words that he wanted auto filtered from the chat and he put his address on there So they read the list Including his address. Yeah, So they read the list, including his address. Yeah, but he mixed up the address so they didn't know it was an address. But people figured it out because it was the only thing that wasn't like the others.

Oh, God, because there was just like a number. It was like names and slurs and numbers and like, like Maple Street, Maple or something like that. They're like, I don't know why he would want us to ban that word and Avenue. Yeah, Avenue. Yeah. Why are we banning Avenue? So he says this was like part of a plot to a rapespiracy. It was insane. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Here it is. When fans become the rape list. Look at this. Is this an excerpt from the doc? Is this what is this an excerpt from the doc? Yeah, this is the excerpt from the doc. It's got...

It's got 5,000 views! Wow! I'm gonna... It's eviscerating. For over 20 years, I've run one of the longest running... Poorly mixed? ... sites on the internet. Sound?

I've published books, worked on TV shows, and even video games. Along the way, I've met thousands of fans. Most of them have been awesome, but some made this all of this for me as a takedown of me. All of this. Look at all this 3d rendering shit. This was all sat at home for five years, 3d rendering this like retarded intro. I didn't even spend five years on my special like editing ever you know what I mean? Yeah, this is how Insane he is and caught up on all this stupid shit Chapter 9 this was chapter 9 of his three-hour document. No document should have nine chapters. Yeah, our documentary. I mean

Look at this. See this is his this is his description of it Fan you ever seen anything like this this level of insanity. No fanboys past rapey articles Your fanboy, that's what he calls me because he doesn't want to say my name fanboys first legal threat But but so so we made it we made a euphemism for dick called fanboy But we use Connor Betts and Shawn Jacobson's actual names You know, let's not protect the innocent or anything by any no Sean is a he's a Subversive person now. Yeah, Alex is going after him too. Okay. Let's read some comments. Yes, I'm my favorite

What's Hayne what WT Zane hey dick I'm re listening to the older bonus episode in in number 73 around 146 banana Doc's that was Maddox's alter ego is a banana had get drunk on stream and Scream at things on stream all right, which? That was some that was he did that for five years and making this psychotic documentary about me. Nice. Banana Docs hints at a secret project that Maddox is working on.

I think it's the Stock Your Documentary that he's referencing and it's hilarious because Banana Docs is giddy about it. Wow, I gotta find that. It's probably a whole bunch of Easter eggs in those old Banana Docs and Ox Mads. Yeah, Banana Docs, wow. That's gotta be. Ox meds. Yeah, banana docks, wow. That's the lore of this show is so,

I always think that like when people go back into like the old NLO lore of when I was on the show from 2010, like it's nowhere near as layered and robust with conspiracy as this show. No it's not. Yeah. Also, nobody from that show took the other guy's lady and kept her. So that could be foundation for some fallout. I'll really get in somebody's

I could imagine if that were part of it, that it may have been a bigger deal for us, you know? Yeah. That's the funniest part though. It is the funniest part. It is the funniest part. Like he hated, he hated my girlfriend, but it wasn't because it was his old girlfriend. You know what I mean? That would have definitely, I could see that making, I can see him making a documentary if something like that had transpired. Sure. Whoops. Yeah. No, he's, you know, the, fortunately for me, the guy I coast, I wish I could have never want never once. Did he bring one around where I was like, no, that one's good. Like, yeah, just all like, you know, he fucked girls who listened to podcasts and they have a certain look about them. You know what I mean? Hot

is what you're saying. Sure. Let's say hot, not ghastly. I want to listen to this. Not ghastly. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not who listen to podcasts and they have a certain look about them. You know what I mean? Hot is what you're saying. Sure, let's say. Hot. Not ghastly. The ones who listen to this show. Not ghastly post office worker looking chicks at all. Right?

This is terrible, Josh. Yeah, well, you know, this is why my views are what they are for my podcast. Terrible what you're saying. I don't pander at all. Yeah, I'm sure there are women that, I'm sure there are hot women listening to podcasts And look I feature I have a regular feature shitting on fat women women. Yes, love that. Yes, they love it Yeah, well women are obsessed small amount of women love it a lot Yeah, they know well they love it because it's not them. Yeah, like if you lazy not allowed to say it

Yeah, yeah, they just love they love There's nothing women hate more than the other women Yeah that they have to compete with in the marketplace of anything Yeah, so that's your big fat ones cuz yeah, I could be big and fat if I just didn't care anymore Yeah, yeah, yeah should well the like being gay for us. I'm like man. I wish I could just be gay I know and then some guys take that out. I'm both. I'm fat and probably gay Some guys take that out as like gay. Hey, like they're like, oh they get become preachers, right? These fucking gays, right? Cuz they want to be gay. We go

Yeah, that's like skinny women with fat women. Yeah, they want to be you know They just they're just they refuse to read or work or do anything for themselves. Yeah, that is one thing I respect about a fat girls. I had no, she has no options. So she do, but I don't, I don't do that. They're rewiring guys brands. Yeah. Well, there's always black guys and that's a life raft for fat white girls, right? Uh, that's how bad that's by the way, black women, if you're listening to this and you'll

never be listening to this, but if you are, all you have to do is be nicer or not as... All you have to do. If you were just nicer than the fat white women, they would pick you. Like black men will fuck a fat white girl before a hot black chick, because the hot black chick is unbearable to be around.

Oh. Why is that? With the demands and the requests and the fucking attitude and the... What we not fit in to do, right? Like, all you have to do is not be yourself. For five minutes. That's good advice for everyone. Yeah, just don't be yourself for five minutes.

Yeah. And then these fat white bitches will be on an island with nowhere to go. Straight back to the minutes. Yeah. And then these fat white bitches will be on an island with nowhere to go straight back to the car. Yeah. And and the problem is, is because you're yourselves, you're giving them a lifeline. You see you're messing it up for everyone. You're you're you are the root problem of the entire world economy. Black women's shitty attitudes, if we could fix that, we've fixed everything. Because it is like a trickle down economics. Trickle down.

Yeah, it's a trickle down effect. If we could cure black women. Hurt people, hurt people. Yes, if we could cure black women of this urge to be themselves, we could create the utopia that we've all sought after. Where fat girls die off, Oh, right. And everyone is happy slim down. Well, I think it's much more like you die off. Lizzo. Hey, Dick, check

this out. Lizzo says if Kamala wins, the whole country will be like Detroit. Oh, yeah. She tried to say it was that was a good thing. Oh, she did. Yeah. Yeah. So she said they say if Kamala wins, the whole country will be like Detroit. Well, when we say it, we say it, cause that would be a bad thing. And then she's going, I think it'd be a good thing. Cause Detroit resilient Detroit, proud, hardworking. She doesn't talk about the fact that it's the third largest murder capital in America. Let's see here. This is Lizzo. She looks like a different person. She's lost. I mean, she's lost. She's still fat. Didn't I predict this on your show? When she was, I did. I said when she went away for forcing people to eat pussy at gunpoint, which I just, however, she's a rapist though,

right? Yes. She's a rape. I said she's what's going to happen is she's going to disappear for a year or two. She's a bunch of weight and she's going to reinvent herself. Okay. You were right. This is what it is. This is what happened'm sorry. Liz. I was ripped out. I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get a scandal. I'm trying to get a scandal I've got a scandal something something and then I'll go away and I'll lose all the weight Can't you lose the weight because then people think you're some what do you think you're trying? Yeah You care I have to be taken down and some sort of scandal to rebuild yourself I'll reinvent myself because then they'll root for me.

You see? Yeah. They're laughing with me, Michael. That's, that's what you have to do. So I have to force someone to eat something, a pussy or something. Yeah. Or maybe a salad at gunpoint. And then the internet cancels me because I've tried saying the N word.

It's not, I don't know how you get away with it all the time. You got some kind of like force field on your account. Well, it's, you know, magic because I've never asked the JQ girl magic. I do. It is black girl magic. Let's see what Lizzo says. They say if Kamala wins, then this whole country will be like Detroit. Well, I say proud like Detroit. Is she doing a black voice? Yes. Ugh, cause that's, she's missing some, like I've noticed this with Eric July too.

When he uses like, he's like, I done have it. And I'm like, that's not the correct, that's not the correct conjugation of that. And you know that. And you know that. Yes, I know that that, I know that's not the right conjugation of have done it. It's have been, it's like, I've been done it, or been, been do, I'm not using not the right conjugation of have done it. It's have been, it's like I've been done it or been do,

I'm not using the example right, but I know that's not right, I know that's not correct. Well, it's because you learned English properly. Yeah. And you can hear it coming and going. Let me see. In this whole country, we'll be like Detroit. Well, I say proud like Detroit.

I say resilient like Detroit. I say resilient like Detroit. This is the same Detroit that innovated the auto industry and the music industry. So put some respect on Detroit's name. I'm proud to say that I voted. I voted early and I voted for Kamala Harris. Wow. Shocking. They say voting is not a love letter. It's a chest move. Well, I feel like voting early is not just a chest move. It's a power move. Hey ask Kamala what she thinks about the thing you're wearing around your neck and what it represents. What is it? She's wearing a cross. Oh yeah. Why does Kamala like she thinks about the thing you're wearing around your neck and what it represents. What is it? She's wearing a cross.

Oh yeah. Why would this come out of that? Like crosses? She, she, somebody said Jesus is king or something or a Jesus is Lord at an event. She goes, y'all at the wrong rally. Oh, you didn't see that clip? No. Yeah.

Yeah. Type in, type in Jesus is Lord in X and you'll find the video. Okay. Somebody yelled it out. She said y''ll find the video Lord. Okay, somebody yelled it out She said y'all at the wrong rally. Oh, I'm sorry. Are Christians not welcome? By the way, this was like the day after she skipped the Al Smith dinner Jesus is this one Yeah, we don't be doing Jesus here. Yeah, you know, what's Jesus ever done for us? Yeah.

Well, if you believe in him, he died for your sins. Yeah. And then he came back. He got a little magic amulet turned water. Yeah, I don't need that. I got a magic amulet to get rid of my sins. Jesus just walking through the Golgothan piles of shit. Just like, hey, look guys, this suitcase is like it weighs nothing. Hayden Luke says, a woman tears down the flags at a Greek restaurant because he thinks they're

Israeli. Oh, this is a woman move. This is, this is peak Karen. Do you have a video for this? Yeah. Woman pasted in here. Uh, okay. The time I mistakenly thought the flag for a Greek was for Israel and took the wow. She told on herself. She's so dumb that she's like, you guys want to know how dumb I am. I don't know if that's real. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably not real. I mean, oh no, it is. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably not real. Let me... Oh no, it is.

No, no, a black woman would take pride in being so wrong. Let's see those tits. Are these fool's tits? Whoa! What's going on here? You can tear down any kind of flag that you want, baby. Whoa! Those are some fucking mamajamas.

Whoa, her neck's skinny, but there's a filter. Is this where the neck fat actually goes? Yeah, probably. See, Josh? Tricks. You really have to pay attention with these whores now. Oh yeah, no. I really gotta, nothing can be glossed over.

Listen. Look at this. You're showing me a fat black woman like that scene in Seinfeld where it's like, you sure it wasn't a twix or you sure it wasn't a, please. Yeah. Please. Yeah. Look at, see, look at this. See, we got the boobs here. The thing that you don't understand as a not fat man Is that these fat pig women think they can fuck me because I am fat too. Yeah

Not happening happening And then we have look at this is the part in that I'm quite that's putting this all into question Yeah, this blur where you see the neck start out big like to question. Yeah. This blur where you see the neck start out big like, uh, you know, Lawrence Taylor up here and then vanishes like Marty McFly. She's watching her picture just vanish right here. Well, first of all, you can tell that was smoothed. Like it's as simple as she took a picture. All of this is smoothed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah, but she left the size of her tits in. Yeah. That's nice. Also those, those look like slot McGops. Yeah. I'm not a pretty, I mean, this is, this is unbelievable. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. Who knows what's happening. There are black women around

here walking around goofy like this, where they're like skinny with evaporating shoulders. Yes. But then with retarded lunch lady tits. I'm sorry. Can we say lunch lady on the show? So she posted, I don't want to, I don't want to shit on the floor. Okay. Let's tell the other one's better. There we go. And I'm about to come back and put a clean Palestine to that shit. And I'm about to come back and put a clean Palestine too. Look, what you looking at? You know damn well there's a genocide. You know there's a genocide.

In Greece? No, stop it. I'm taking this shit down. What? Is this a joke? Take this one down right here. What are they going to do? They can't do nothing.

Does somebody correct her? I don't stand for it. I don't stand for it. I don't stand for this. There's genocide. Does somebody correct her? I don't stand for this. There's genocide and I don't stand for Zionism. I'm not clear. I don't support it.

This is a joke. It's going on too long. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. We got it. You could have just described the joke. Also, I just want to say that black people are too stupid for that to be funny.

Okay. Like it's too believable that you would do something stupid and be so indignant about it for it to be satirical. You know what I mean? Like, no, I don't know what you mean. That's too far. I mean, am I, am I wrong? The way Phrased it just turned into Walter from Yeah, Walter subject. Yes. Am I wrong? Yes. Am I wrong? Yes It's just an asshole. Am I wrong? Mr. Scurvy says DEI expert headed former boss placed on administrative leave for reportedly Prioritizing merit over personal identity when high. Well, okay. Well, let's see. Mr. Scurvy What do you have here? Oh?

Yeah, the buying rolls of quarters. I saw this one is it is it another woman alert? No. No, this is a different one No, no top Oregon official put on leave for allegedly Prioritizing qualified job candidates over gender identity? I mean, that's what they said to put them on leave? Okay, can I look at it or full story in bio? That's about how I would summarize what's happening in the country right here.

Just that picture. You can't hire someone qualified. It's gotta be some fucking weird luck dragon looking chick a weirdo. Yeah I hate when they have link in the bio. It's like well what this just goes nowhere Yeah, I gotta look at all of your news stories. Yeah, okay So Trump at McDonald's today, did you see that one? Yeah, it was pretty good. He's putting the fries in the correct way. It was like, I like this job. This is funny. I was waiting for the book. What are you all complaining about? Just wearing

a snappy, a tie shirt and tie in the full apron. Uh, yeah. What did he, I saw him. I love when he, he's really good at like patronizing, but not patronizing people. Like he'll ask him stuff that he, you know, he knows the answer. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you don't, he doesn't give, he doesn't come off each fry. Like it's something like that where it's like, and I put the fries with the fries up upside down. Okay. Wow. I usually just eat them. I could just dump them in the bag. By the way, how would you like to be the meth addict who has to train Donald Trump on the fries today? Oh, that'd be great. Right? Look at this dude. That guy definitely sells

that guy definitely sells drugs. He barely fits in the window. Yeah. I don't know about, I don't know what this is belt that he's got across. It's an apron. He's wearing an apron. I'll tell you what, it's a great franchise. It's a great company. Look at the crowd over there. Look how happy I love when they quote how ADD he is to look at all these people. Yeah. I know. It's just like, it's a great company. Look at the crowd over there. It's, it's just no punctuation dot dot dot. Yeah. They're happy because they want hope. The commander in beef told reporters that guy was so proud of the commander in beef line. He was like, watch this, check this Pulitzer. Now I've worked for 15 minutes more than Kamala. Okay. It's probably true though. Yeah. I worked at McDonald's in high school and what his

campaign dubbed the October surprise. Oh God. The McDonald Trump worked the counter and bantered with customers who drove up. His campaign also released footage of him jubilantly preparing the happy meals. Wow. It's clear they were loving it. Wait, does that mean my McDonald's right? This does that mean my McDonald's tramp stamp is now a Trump tattoo? That's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see that guy that was saying waltz? Like was a child molester? I mean, didn't he take like 60 trips to China? That's probably 50 to us. That's a lot. And he's like, took some kid do like a concert with school shooters. It was funny cause all these, all the conservatives like jumped on that guy to dog pile him and

demonstrate how like you know we'd only tell the truth and we're not running with this scam shit right but I was like this is really a great six guys to China's this guy flubbed it but about 58 too many yeah for someone not Chinese it's a great future politics just fake AI child molesting confessions and stuff. He just goes, sir, were you or were you not at TNM and square? I don't know, man. There was so much boy ass around me and his summer of fucking 83 or whatever it was. Yeah. It doesn't matter if it's even remotely true. As long as it gets the votes. I tell you, I might not have been in TM and square, but I was pretty goddamn close to it. And we did all kinds of shit. I was with the, listen, I was with the Chinese and we made

all kinds of shapes together. I know I had a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. Let's see here buying roles at quarters. You know, watch that one. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that one. I think, yeah, this is pretty great. This is a pretty good example of how stupid women are. Okay, here we go. I get push notifications for all of these all the stuff. Yeah, I get this. I get this story in every account that I have. Yeah, my my algorithm is absolutely tuned. Like if a if a woman did something retarded, I'm one of the first to know. Yeah, and here's why. My laundry machine takes quarters. Naturally I'm like.

Why is this retarded? Where does one just get quarters? So I'm like, okay, I'm going to go on Amazon and buy quarters. You can buy like rolls of quarters on Amazon. I'm like, perfect, I'll do that. And it's like 72 rolls for $10 that the math doesn't equal up. Like I'm like okay stupid Amazon's losing money. Get the package. 72 rolls. Empty. It's just Roll sleeves with no quarters in them. Yeah. Also don't be the looming Jewish guy who's

like excellent watching this girl. Like you look like propaganda. Don't play. Even don't do that. Today my girlfriend learned. That's my new thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah. That's what it is. Somebody sent somebody sent a good one today. My girlfriend learned. That's my new thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Somebody sent a good one. Today my girlfriend learned. That's the new bit. I forget. Does somebody have that in here? Was it live stream links?

Oh, thank you Riley for posting that. God, I hope he did. I don't know when Riley's court date is. I was wearing my free Riley shirt all around the festival. Conversation starter and all? Yeah, people loved it. Yeah. They're like, are you Riley? No, I'm... It's his face. This is my face. Yeah. Can you not tell that we're totally different people?

Different people, yeah. Uh, I'm like, well what's he... What's the deal? Is he okay? I said no. He's a political prisoner for... He's... He's uh, facing prison time for... Prot for protest for exercising his first amendment right of protesting shitty comics. Yeah. Yeah support him Yeah, yeah here. Where's the somebody somebody linked me to that today my girlfriend learned Was it woman moment perhaps it is moment. Perhaps it is. Uh, damn it. You ever get, you ever go down the rabbit hole of, uh, women on Reddit who are new mothers who are just like, I want to throw my child in a wood chipper. I have no love for this thing whatsoever. I miss my life. Oh yeah. If you don't think you have enough contempt for women, go find those postpartum stories, postpartum

stories where they're just like, they tell me I was gonna love this thing and they lied. Yeah. I hate it and I miss happy hour. That's what they, that's their line. I was gonna be a fucking secretary for a rich guy that was someday gonna pay for everything. Don't we need like, shouldn't women have like five other women around helping them with babies? No they, yeah. Isn't it like, it's kind of fucked that they get one dumped on them and they're like,

I'm pretty sure there's supposed to be like five other chicks around to help with this thing. Dick, you're right. That does seem unfair. And it's like, who created that for them? I would like to find that person and hold them accountable. Yeah. Today my girlfriend learned.

It's as if you're saying that women have no community. Yeah. No sense of community. Yeah. Today my girlfriend learned that It's as if you're saying that women have no community. Yeah. No sense of community. Yeah. Today my girlfriend learned that retard is an actual verb with a real definition and is not just a slur. That's from chocolate noodle.

Today my girlfriend learned. Wow. Yeah. It's actually a word. Now let's see here. Any more? Any more today my girlfriend learned? Gunshot, no. I swear there was one in there, but yeah, the n-word is also a verb

No, it can be anything. Yeah, oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, all right Rolls a quarter that's in my father dick cuz he uses it as a verb an adjective a noun I'm gonna play this but I'm afraid that it's gonna provoke a very oh, sorry Am I gonna accidentally be funny? Let's not let that happen Here let's see here eating in the car this is my thing in the car. This is a woman a woman eating in the car in the uber She's upset. This the way, this was my nightmare driving Uber.

Would this happen to you? No, just the blacks in the car period. No, I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding. I'm totally kidding. She's worried about what I'm eating in the bag. I ain't dropping anything on the floor. So she's eating chips out of her purse, chips out of the purse in an Uber. Also I like that her justification is, ain't fit and it spills shit. I ain't missing. I miss it.

People say that I know you not eat right there. Like, what do you mean? Yeah, I'm not going to fuck up. Like, do you think that people who spill are doing it on purpose? I don't like eating in my own cars. Yeah, like it's my car. I don't even like eat it. I will. I will will for the most, unless it's like, unless I'm like hours away from home. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you have to. Yeah. Yeah. Then

I'll do it. But it's like, if I'm, if I'll let my shit get cold and heat it back up before I eat in the fucking car, I would never eat in someone else's car under any circumstances. No, especially not an Uber. Jesus Christ. I just don't want to have to clean up a mess. You ain't gonna have to clean up a mess. She's flinging the chip around like this is she's gesticulating with the Dorito. Also, also the woman understands like you're going to, I don't, this is what you do. You don't say shit. You just submit the hundred dollar cleaning fee and make them pay for it.

Look at this poor bastard. Does he not have legs? Why is he in this situation? He's trying to close his eyes and imagine what it would be like if he didn't have to be with that black bitch. I'm in a bag. If he would be living, people be dropping stuff and they be, okay, well I'm not a little child. I'm a world. That woman, I asked her, I didn't want to get home. That's it. Girl, how much you baby ride anyway? Oh, she's flicking it. She's first of it! First of all, first of all, I've never heard somebody- Ah!

That was a loud crunch! I've never heard somebody more violently eat a single chip! CASH! It sounded like, it sounded like when a gator grabs a fucking antelope off the side of a goddamn- Tchaa! Sounded like thunder in a canyon. And then she proceeds with-

Sprinkling around chip dust. She proceeds to season the backseat. Jesus. Oh, look at this poor guy. Please tell me it ends in a double homicide. I don't know She got a whole hand takes the chips out of the bag holds them in her lap I love so like she talks like, go ahead and in the ride We ride Watch Why you gonna get my money back? I know that man. And I can get out of the car. My money hit my car.

Don't be eating no chicken. Is she talking in the phone to somebody? Yeah. She's talking to somebody else. Well that was it. I guess it didn't end in a crime. Yeah but it says snatches Uber driver out of car because she can't eat. Where's the snatching her out of the car thing?

Um... Hmm. That does look like Lucretia from... Where's the snatching around the snatching? Hmm Does look like Lucretia from or not Lucretia. What's her name? Oh the full video on my face Lincoln. Okay, okay Fucking great. Oh, he's New York posting us with the T's Fucking asshole. Oh, come on send me the whole link then don't send me this fucking tease shit Now you got a scroll through the black. You lose me. Yeah, I can't I don't care that much. I can't do it I'm not coming back to this story Okay

Woman who's woman says who was Hitler? Let's see Woman alert, and then we'll do some you do some fat watch Sean's gonna be back next week everybody he's in Japan Woman alert. And then we'll do some fat wash. Woman alert. Of course. And then we're done. Sean's going to be back next week everybody. He's in Japan. If you see him on the street there, say something. Don't let him get away with it. Pretend he's a big celebrity.

Get a bunch of all Japanese people to scream at him. Really embarrass him. Go for it. Why is he there doing sound? He's there pretending to play baseball. Oh. He's doing a Mr. Baseball thing. That's pretty white.

Yeah. It's the whitest thing possible, except for maybe golf. Maybe actually playing baseball. He's pretending to be a baseball celebrity. Oh, that's fun. He goes around. My sister literally asked if Hitler was dead on Father's Day, oh, okay.

He was like, what did they do? I'm just asking a simple question. I know. I know. Do you still love me? of Hitler was dead On Father's Day. I know it's your favorite bath time. Look, this right here really cut me deep. Did I have to explain that Hitler is dead? I think he out of the will to spy. And who he is. Well, supposedly. I'm not asking who he is. I'm like, is he dead?

Grace. Grace. Grace. Right now the best thing for you to do is to bury your face in another piece of pie. Okay. The boy didn't take a lot of convincing for her to go get now I'm going to float a conspiracy theory here to you. Okay. They've been on her about her weight and she thought, how can I get it?

I know what I'll do. I'll ask a question. So stupid history buff of a father will despise so much that he will reverse course and encourage me. He'll encourage me to have sick of father's day. I got to get out of here. Hey, who's Hitler? Yeah. Who is that guy? Is he dead? Is he, he's not, I saw a thing about Argentina. No, that's too much. It's too much. She doesn't even know even know who he really was. Because there's a basis for it. Yeah. That's like an interesting discussion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I love. Could he have escaped to Argentina? Yeah. OK, everybody, let's do everybody's favorite segment here. Fat watch today in fat news. Fat watch is growing, though.

It's getting fatter, because women are getting so much fatter. Yeah. I feel like it's taking up all the show. I feel like I'm doing my part. OK. I feel like I'm doing my part. Okay. This is pumpkin run. All right. Sounds like a great thing. Yeah.

Running. That's good. Oh, mercy. This is the fat below the waistline is inexcusable for anyone. This is my line. Okay. Like I'm fat up here, but at the waistline I'm a normal human being from the waistline down. Some of these women the

waist gets higher and higher as the fat gets bigger like huh yeah like Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Yeah they egg they egg out. Egg out. It's really egging out. Alright let me let's start this one over. She's all gunned. So she's doing a pumpkin walk. Look at her. Oh, I just saw the legs. Oh, I just saw the legs. Thighs. I just want to say, as a fat, I don't have any skin on my body anywhere that's like rippled

like that, anywhere. Oh, her knees have become little noses, little clitoris knees. The cheese dumping off of her. Jim, Jim Henson couldn't have conceived of this from his own imagination. Oh God. It's like, dude, what is her shits like? Constant. What is her shits like? And I know it's what are her shits like? But yeah, what is her shit? What is her shit's like? And I know it's what are her shits like, but yeah,

what is her shit? What is her shit's like? Oh, she can't wipe. No, there's no, she can't. First of all, she can't reach it. She can't. There's no way she's reaching. She's going front. She's going down the front and then whatever happens and then that's going all into the push patrol. That's all going right in there. And then it's, it's fluttering past those cottage cheese thighs. Yeah. There's shit all in the grooves in the crevices. Oh shit. I was wiping the wrong crack. That's what she thinks. I was wiping the wrong crevice. Well, have you ever seen one of those like a hard copy, hard copies that are shown anymore? We've ever seen one of those investigative reports where they show how much shit particles are on the average cell phone?

Yeah. Yeah. What do you think is on those legs? It's a thousand times what's on the average cell phone. I bet Mr. Her bottom should be that pumpkin. The jack-o-lantern should be the bottom head, you know? Yes.

Ugh. Her leg is so fat. Okay. She says, walk a mile with me. No, you didn't you first you first I joined the Sem Heights Greatest pumpkin patch this weekend to do their first inaugural pumpkin run slash walk I

Was so excited to do this because I love this pumpkin patch and go every year at the end once you completed the mile You got a perfect pumpkin. It was so great to start the morning off right Celebrating pumpkin patch season. Okay, tamp. Oh, this is Tampa to the humidity. Oh Oh, I just thought of the smells Oh plus-size fashion blogger. Okay, let's see Sorry, what was that at the end that was some sort of a it said open watch Sorry, what was that at the end? That was some sort of a it said open watch Was that what was that? Apple watch on that was counting the calories open goal. It wasn't a walk. It was just set to open goal

When you're this big, yeah, this big you can just turn it on to open goal and be sitting and it will burn Yeah, you'll metabolize. Let me get the paws right on this Apple watch. Oh, come on. Oh, you got it. Open goal. She didn't do a mile. She didn't do a mile and eight 24 minute mile. I bet she was booking too to get 24. Josh, she was booking dude. 24 minute mile. We're going to get some light exercise. Yeah. I walked this mile wasn't like it's like me about a half an hour Yeah, by the way, I'd be willing to bet when it says open goal She just turned it on and sat by the pumpkins and then that's what it ran up Calories you're burning just sitting. We think you walked a mile. Ah Okay That's why guys are playing all these video games.

Oh my goodness. This has become just the entire fashion industry. She's a plus size fashion model. Look at this workout. Getting a good workout. Poor Jim. Please don't show us nothing but before. Here's a glimpse at my arm day routine. It's not the whole thing, but I wasn't even planning on filming. Sure you weren't.

Yeah, I bet you go a lot of times and don't film it. I go to the gym all the time and I don't film it. This is probably my favorite day routine. I do it, it helps me feel strong, and I can do anything Also felt super cute in my pop flex active fit. Is this a fat Chick fashion pop flex pop flex No, they have normal size. Yeah, but it's all loose fitting if you notice Oh, yeah, like it looks like compression wear on her. Yeah, click it. It's all dresses. Yeah

Okay, she's doing a What is that a lat pull down what is I don't know no, that's not that's the front one I don't know what this one's called This is not a flattering workout outfit This is not a flattering workout outfit. The company shouldn't be manufacturing this. Yeah. That looks like a giant pink bro. That onesie that looks like what a man would wear as a bathing suit in 1903. Yeah.

Like at the circus. Yeah. Yeah. Fat man. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. That's bad.

You know, I mean, I guess she's trying. All these brands should be suing her. I don't know what's in the Stanley Cup, but I don't think it's water. Syrup. Yeah, let's see. She's got a bunch of doodads on that. Okay.

Work out with me. Okay, that was the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think enough of these people are committing suicide. They're doing it slowly. Well, yeah, yeah, they are taking the scenic route and listen I've been accused of such People go, you know, you're killing yourself slowly and I know Slow though. Yeah, let's see here. This one's from Nate

All right, buddy. What you got? This is oh, this is filters. I hope you know that I hope you know that your This is, oh, this is filters. I hope you know that, I hope you know that your, punctuated incorrectly, I hope you know that you are worth has nothing to do with the outer shell of your soul looks. What? How the outer shell of your soul looks. Oh, the how the outer shell of your soul looks. How does it look?

I hope you know that social media is a highlight reel. Reel spelled incorrectly. I hope you know how bright your light is able to shine. I hope you know you're one of a kind I hope you know that I love you. Okay, this is the grass can always look greener. So this is a woman So we think yeah, okay Oh, oh she's doing this with filters. Oh! Oh, she's doing this with filters. Oh, wow.

Oh, so she's gone from like... Oh, so she's actually that fat. Ah! God, over and over. Look at that. Whoa! What? What? Oh! The motion makes it worse. Yeah, now see, I know, see, you can kind of tell this though

out of the gate because of the titties, like fat girls have a sloppier titty than regular normal human women. Yeah, that's very true. Yeah. See, if I start getting sloppy titties, I'll hit the gym. This is a Breath of the Wild cosplay from Reddit. Oh dear God. This is from who sent this? These all look like Vito and Drag. Look at this. Oh mama.

They're happy to be here. Come on. What is happening? Why are they wearing cakes? They got their stomachs. Really, uh, loafing out. How do women get that fat? I don't know. Practice. Don't they like walking to things?

Yeah, I thought they loved that. Yeah. Um... My god. You gotta pick one of these. This is what you're saving the kingdom for. It makes sense for like, podcasters to be fat. We're in chairs all the time. Yeah, it does.

Broadcasting, editing, whatever. Okay. All right, and let's see the last one. Which one is the worst? Ooh, the middle's got my vote. I don't know. I think you're a right, I think you think the right one is the worst. Ah, well she's got this like

her gut is like a cart, like Spongebob shoes. It's sticking out. Yeah. You know? Spongebob shoes. I don't like that. I don't like thinking of Spongebob. I don't like any of them. Alright. I ain't none of them. I'm Donny. Thank you, Josh. Thanks for coming in.

How's your show, your special doing? It's out. It's good. Yeah. You're going to do it again? Do another one? Yeah, yeah. I have another one I'm going to do probably in a couple of years. Okay. Probably at least a year. Before Superkiller comes out, you think?

It'll probably beat Superkiller to the market. Yeah, yeah. It's literally like 10% written and I bet it beats Superkiller. You think it's going to super killer to the market. Yeah. Yeah. It not it's, it's literally like 10% written and I bet it beats super killer. You think it's going to come out first? Yeah. Yeah. Very good chance. I mean, listen, the special that we shot in April beat super killer. Yeah, it came out in July. The, the work time was three months and it was released. You think superkill is going to come out this year? No, no, no. So you're late Christmas release. It's going to be at least a year late. Maybe February. I'm not being a hater. I just know what I'm dealing with. Yeah. And I know. And I

know because when I talked to veto, he's like, I've just been too busy. And I know people who say they're too busy waste 22 of 24 hours in a day. I just been to, you know, you've never heard me do. I've been so busy. Yeah. I've never go, I've been, but you asked me, well, what'd he been up to? Just living. Yeah. You know, just have you been, have you been busy? No, you'll never hear me say I've been busy. Yeah. I don't have kids. I'm not, I'm not like I wake up and pretty much do what I want every day. I got to do enough work to survive. You know, it's like, that's it. It's like, I don't, I could, I could be busier. Like I could be working on my fitness every day.

I could be working so much more and making so much more money. I'm as busy as I want to be. That's good. Every day. That's my life. Big Ugly's, yeah. People can go to Big Ugly's podcast on Patreon. They can check that out and yeah, And yeah, go watch Goliath.

You make a cameo. A couple cameos. Oh yeah. I didn't do a very good job introducing that show. What are you talking about? It was great. I could have been a little more high energy. No, it was perfect.

Well, when you intro'd me, it was two minutes. That was good. It was great. OK, that's good. Yeah, it was great. It made the special. Good, good, good. I put the intro in.

If it wasn't good, I would have cut it. Thank you. Yeah. It was fantastic. I would left it in, especially if it's not good, I would have cut it. Thank you. Yeah I would left it in especially if it's not good somebody else, you know Yeah, I thought about doing that with vetoes entire set but you know, I didn't give her, you know He did stand up at hackamania. I know and then he quit stand-up forever and then banned everybody from the future stand-up shows He'll never do

Which is the mark of a true comedian if I were were to do shows, you'd all be banned. Oh yeah. You banned Riley from a live show. You guys say you're going to heckle me at the shows. I'll never do well. Consider yourself. It was the most thought we were done with all that, but then I come back taking part of the entire thing because I got excited as somebody who likes doing live events with you guys. I got excited as somebody who likes doing live events with you guys. I got excited. Are there live shows? You said not a one, not a one planned. Yeah. Why is Riley banned? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. What's he banned from? No idea. It doesn't exist. So I would just like to let you guys know that you're

all banned from aren't booked yet. Everyone's banned. I thought everything was over, but then I come back. Why is nobody here? I banned everyone. They're all banned. They're all boring. Yeah.

Sold out, but they're all banned. I thought it was over. And then I come back from vacation and I see that Vito has banned mint salad from the Biggest Problem show account or blocked her. What was the, why? Why? Just, you know, you would have thought that getting a piece of the trademark would have been a bulletproof rest. I thought that was it. I thought that was the final, I thought that was a good compromise because you hadn't worked that out. When I talked to you last, that hadn't been the resolution

hadn't been, we had a lot of, we had a lot of suggestions of what the resolution could have been that would have been funny stuff. Funny. Yeah. Nothing funny was happening. Yeah. Like a recasting that would have been fun. Like an audition thing where he comes in and he sings for his supper. And then we bring in other vetoes mid show to see what that would like swap them out mid show and see who could jump in like double Dutch and just become Vito. Yeah. Yeah. But we're blocking people and we're back to that. Yeah. We're back to, we're back to ground zero. Yeah. I don't know. I've tried. I've tried. I'm going to quit Twitter after this block thing. Like, Oh, that would be, that would be amazing. That would be,

I would fix 90% of all of his problems. It would fix all of his problems. Uh, it's one of those things that's, I look at Vito on Twitter, like, uh, like I looked at April Imholts when they first put her on the show and I was like, this is a mistake. Yeah. You're not cut out for this. You know, anybody can say anything to you on the internet at any time, right? Like you gotta be, you gotta have a certain cut of your jib to be able to handle that. You know? It's like, and it's funny too, cause people will be like,

people will be like, oh, you don't engage with your troll. You don't fire back. Like when people come at me, I don't engage. Usually I don't engage in like a back and forth because it's dumb, stupid shit that's not based in reality. So it's like, I can't make fun of you for something real if dumb, stupid shit that's not based in reality. So it's like, I can't make fun of you for something real if your argument is something that's fake

or made up. But, uh, but they'll be like, where are you? Why don't you fire? But you're the comedian. You're the comedian. Where's your special set just for me right now. Follow my command as I've drawn you into the square of battle. You know what I mean? It's it's the dumbest shit ever. But, but for veto, he takes the bait every time. Hey, aren't you that, Hey, aren't you that all you gotta do? I would love, this should be a show. I would love to just hire a bunch of actors to find Vito. Well, we don't have to go far. We can put a one mile radius around his place and just hit all the one mile radius around the property. And all we do is we station an actor at every Chinese restaurant and bakery. Right. He's

bound. We're bound to see him at some point in the day. We're going to hit somewhere in there. Okay. We'll triangulate. And all we have to do is have one person go, Hey, aren't you that pedophile guy from the internet explosion, explosion every time he said that's fine though. You know, you just not as property on the property. Yeah. You could be on the street though. He said, that's cool. Fine. Yeah. Don't be on the property. He said many times, yeah. Go on the street that I encourage that. I encourage it. Okay. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I, and by the way, I probably had a solution for it, uh, that you would not, uh, approve of. Oh, cause I think I told you this. I was like, you know, you can just go buy guns and not be a pussy. Right? Oh yeah. And then you were like, I don't know if that's the right solution

for me to have a live gun at all times. I go to Shay people who are point people who go protected on Twitter and then not protected and back and forth should not have a gun. Yeah, probably. That's a, that's a precursor. That should be one of the question when you go to buy the gun. Hey, do you block people on social? Have you ever announced that you're going to leave Twitter? Oh, I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to own a fire. Have you ever deactivated your Facebook for a period of time without being banned? Yeah, I have actually to clear my mind. We got you. No gun for you. No gun.

It's been nice talking to you today. Mr. Schiswald. Get out of the store. We have all kinds of slingshots and crossbows you may be interested in. You're not allowed to have shoelaces either. I'm afraid you're on the register. The shoelace. Let's not make him come so fast. I have to wear the Velcro shoes. Wait and get me to wear slippers. Shoelaces. I got to wear the Crocs. They're great. I worked there for six years. I was, I had a, I had one point I had like 50 pairs of Crocs. Man, you get those little, little bangles. I don't put those in there. I'm not an F slur. I never once they're called gibbets and I never once, I've never once gibbets. Yeah. Like mirrors so I can look up at butts, you know, that's a smart idea. That's I saw, I saw, I saw like a black person on Twitter who had a speaker gibbets in there. I was like, this is, this is the FUBU of gibbets. Like a black came up with this for blacks

and was like, Hey, you know, we don't have enough speakers annoying everyone everywhere we go. They just have an inability. Like I pray for the day black people used to have Bluetooth in their ear all the time. Cause that meant they weren't on speakerphone. We started making fun of black people's Bluetooth headsets and then they said, okay, speakerphone public. Please bring back to Bluetooth headsets. You should give them away. Kamala's plan. Yes, please headphones. Yes. I. And also free Bluetooth headphones. Free Bluetooth headset. Yeah, you can have a Jabra with a big thing around your face like this.

Black people used to have ones where they would be like out in public like, what time is it? What's your time? I was like, are you working for a call center right now? Like, no, I'm on with Philip. It's just, they had no- Like an old telephone? Yeah, yeah. It was like this. It's just, they had no. Like an old telephone, old style telephone.

Yeah, it was like this. They would just have these gigantic. Yeah. What's the other name? Philip. Yeah. And you would go, oh, are you talking to everyone? Or is this a private conversation?

And now there's no headset. They're just on speaker. I know you're not fit to stop my Uber. I ain't getting nothing nowhere. No one who has ever said they're not going to spill is not spilling. They're aggressively spill. People who say like, normal people don't spill. They usually don't spill. You know, every once in a while you have a little crumbs big up, but if you say the phrase I Don't spill I'm an adult that is guaranteed the most spilly fuck. I got a face of the fucking earth I gotta find a video I'll find this video and I'll send it to you and you can put it on another episode or something Yeah, but it's like a mom telling her like toddlers

He's like I'll pull my own juice, and she goes okay, but don't spill it was oh no I promise I won't spill so he he goes to the fridge and he sets his cup on the ground. And he takes out what appears to be a three gallon juice and he pours it perfectly, no spill. And then he takes another cup and he pours it perfectly, no spill, right? And it's all cleaned up and he picks it up and he starts walking to his like little table

where he's gonna have dinner and he slips and shit and just spills both cups of juice in the most spectacular, it's like the most adorable video and the kid just fucking just like it was planned and you just go like oh my god I watched it I'm not. I watched it a thousand times I also watched a homosexual burn himself with boiling water the other day. Oh, I saw a guy Lied himself on fire this weekend. Oh, did you yeah? Yeah, and then somebody intervened one of the one of the like you though. No, not me I don't want to catch that he said he was a real fucking weirdo. It looks contagious.

Ooh. He lit a carpet on fire and then put the carpet on himself in front of like a big, there was a band playing. Okay. It was really amazing. Yeah.

The Rangers came over. Real Tiananmen Square moment. Put it out. He had already fucked up. He'd already pissed off a biker Like a heart, you know a rough like sure guy. Yeah. Yeah. This woman was sitting next to us We were talking to her as old old older. You always know biker broads. Sure. It's all right away. Yeah, absolutely Sag magags. Yeah. Yeah, and This skit so comes over and he's skit sewing out like ranting and he's kind of like talking at nothing

So this is like grizzled old biker. it's like on a collision comes over on a collision course with him he goes hey are you talking to them or are you talking to her to his wife oh man they were gonna see this guy get his ass rocked right knock the fuck out right this is gonna be awesome so they got that way of talking like that I don't know that mobster kind of yeah, it's very mobster ask Judd, you know jarring and then he goes he likes skits out out. He's like, uh, I know no no no no by the way Those are men. Yeah who did a murder at some point in their life that no one knows about I hope so Are you talking to them? Are you talking to her? Yeah, that guy's there's a body in that guy's lineage

Are you talking to her? Yeah, that guy's there's a body in that guy's lineage And then he that he aborted that planet. He started wrapping his neck around This decorative caution tape was all up So he went in it and started twirling around making his I was like, ah, he's gonna get killed here by this guy, right? Ah, yeah, he backed off. Damn it I like your camping trip was like a final destination movie where you're just waiting to see how this person's going to die. And he was, and then he, so he starts wrapping his neck up with police caution tape. Surely this will be the way I'm like, this is it. It's going to hang himself. Yeah. This is going to be great. Right. And he gets to the very end and like goes over and I'm like, ah, I don't

think like, ah, the tape is stretching and he starts tipping like leaning like a joke, right? I'm like, oh man, this could go real this could be good And then he backed out of it the last minute and unwound it and then broke it I'm like, yeah pussy pussy you pussed out cuz you know, you rap too much. Yeah, you so okay So there is an attention whore in there Yeah, you're skit so but you're also a fucking attention whore which makes it way worse in there. You're schizo, but you're also a fucking attention whore, which makes it way worse! Too many raps means your neck won't break and you'll just choke to death. Yeah, that's what I was hoping too.

Yeah. So then he comes back and in a couple minutes he comes back with a trombone that I assume he stole. Oh my god. What is this, the carrot top of suicide? He goes with the trombone, I'm like, alright well, I mean, okay, that's kind of funny I guess, if you're gonna annoy everyone with a trombone. I'm like, all right. Well, I mean, okay, I that's kind of funny I guess if you're gonna annoy everyone with the trombone sure but he walked out of the middle of the empty dance floor and Laid down and then lit a carpet on fire that went up real fast and they rolled on it to light himself on fire Like wow, this is it. Do you think he rolled on it to light himself on fire to try to put it out? I

Don't know fire firebug guys people who want to be the fire, they all have the same similar kind of look in their eyes and they want to be on fire. That thousand yard stair where they don't look at you. They sort of look past you like this. Yeah. They're like, yeah, Dick, let me tell you something, man. That fucking. And then they'll switch sentences in the middle. Yeah. Um, when you that blaze are beautiful, and you're like, there's no blaze Blaze the network I've seen them I've seen them run in the fire. Yeah, I'll have this say It's like the same guy should those be the guys who fight fires. I don't listen everyone a liver will all come it's gonna be Firefighters so then a woman ran over and

Those should be firefighters. So then a woman ran over and a woman who was in charge. Phil, you've let 30 people die this week. Yeah, but there were beautiful deaths. Yeah. Yeah, but they were, the deaths were so beautiful. All right, well, we're low on volunteers. Phil has to stay another week. He's good, he's fearless.

Yeah, fearless, yeah. Someone say too fearless. Too fearless. Yeah, almost anxious. So I got blue-balled again You know what you should have done. You should tie that winch around his fucking neck yanked him out of his bed. Just point Yeah, I didn't do it. I don't even know how that which work. I don't know. I don't know how it works Ask my wife. She wouldn't let me learn. All right. Thanks everybody patreon.com slash the dick show see you next you said and then this takes 20 seconds or whatever

to get going Mama Mia Ready? Oh, that's a meme? Stupid. I'm trying to find those consent things. They're getting dumber. If it's not a hell yes it's a no. I should have taken one of them so I could go study it at home. That would have been fun. Alright goodbye everybody.