The Dick Show - Episode 445 - Dick on Generational Wealth

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Alex Schaefer comes in to paint and hate the Federal Reserve, I fumble the generational wealth bag, Trump out sh*t coins the sh*tcoiners, TikTok is banned and the saved, a lady gets a top sugery, getting tangled up in hose, more not baby advice, two women swap credit cards, art scams and the CIA, and AI Maddox talks about the LA fires; all that and more this week on The Dick Show

It's working! Holy cow. Things are working? Holy cow. Are we on time? I think we're early. We can't be straight and early. We're supposed to be late and gay. This is an amazing show today.

It's an amazing show. We have an art legend. I'm bubbling. We have an art legend in here. Hey. I'm here. You're here. He's here.

Art legend in here. Alex Schaeffer. How are you doing, sir? Great to be up in LA. Yeah. And it's a beautiful day. It's, look, the colors are cool. It's blue, although we've had all these fires lately.

Yeah. For people who don't know, now I'll tell the story before we get into it today. We have a lot to celebrate. Trump has played the reverse card, I'll tell the story before we get into it today. We have a lot to celebrate. We had Trump is Trump has played the reverse card the uno reverse card on the entire banking industry Trump has shit coined the world the man who shit coined the world trying I'm

I'm bubbling with it, but I'm also very angry at all the fans. Are they gonna put 36 trillion dollars on to Trump coin? I think so. And just pay off the national debt with Trump coin? I think that's his plan. He's just gonna print shit coins out of debt. So my, I've been a fan of Alex's for a long time. Back when I lived in North Hollywood, I remember you painting a bank on fire. Yes.

That was right on Van Nuys Boulevard. That was the first one, like the second one I did. I remember you getting hassled by the cops. It was like 2012. It was a long, long time ago. 2011. 2011. It was like two months before Occupy Wall Street.

So everybody was getting pissed. Because it was a long enough time after the bailouts that the news broke to people who were keeping an eye on it that it was criminal activity that was getting bailed out. Yeah. It never should have gotten a frickin penny. No. If we lived in a free market, they would have failed because they failed.

Yeah. So we live in a rigged market. Can you believe the kids don't even know how bad that... They don't even know that happened. Like the Zoomers, the Zoomers that got TikTok ripped away from them this week and then and then belovedly risen from the dead brought back from the dead by Trump within a matter of 24 hours. They don't even know they don't even really understand what happened then. I know. Isn't that crazy? And nothing has improved.

I can't believe thinking back on me in 2011. Get on that mic a little bit. Thinking back of me in 2011. I never thought that the bailouts would go on and on like this. Infinity. The QE infinity shit. That I did not think it would be possible to get to the point where we've gotten me either Like and I can't believe I was like somebody's gonna stop this a burning bank once in a while

I mean I kind of limit the it's a limited reserve. Yeah, and it's only a lifetime limited reserve So when I'm dead, there won't be any more. Yeah, I'm not gonna crank them out I can sell prints which helps you know, and I make as many as I'm not gonna crank them out. I can sell prints, which helps. And I make as many as I'm interested in making. Because there's a whole nother process to painting that involves painting. You could listen to music, but then there's also making music,

and there's a whole different thing to it. So part of painting for your whole life too is continuing to make it enjoyable. Right. To enjoy the process so you don't get locked into something or, you know, as an artist you kind of want maximum freedom. Yeah. Like Mr. Best Pain TV is maximum freedom. I have an artist friend of mine who pretends to create new comic books every couple of

years. He has a new idea for a comic every couple of seconds actually he has a new idea for a project That he's gonna do is that is that is that something that that you mean he never does any of them. Yeah, I mean I Think with painting you got to figure out a practice where you don't think you have to make a masterpiece every time. So for me, part of that is just painting over things where it's like, I enjoyed painting that like this model here. This was down at Liberty Station and there's a bunch of artists that pool together and they hire a model. It's three hours of painting and that's fun.

You know, like painting from life is fun. Sometimes it's nudes and then it's clothing. Men, women, you know, no man. I know you want the naked ladies. Like an elf. Cosplay. Tell me what character you were dressed as. Yes. But so yeah, you got to have a practice where you can just enjoy doing it. Don't put a limit on yourself because this may not be a masterpiece, but then you do something else on top of it. Yeah. So I saw you get hassled for painting that bank on fire during the bailouts.

Yeah, that was a good one. It was so satisfying. And then I moved into Hollywood and not like a year later, you were painting what turned out to be the first bank that ever debanked me, the Chase Bank on Vine and Sunset. Yes. You know, so I would always, around the house, I would get drunk and rant about your paintings.

And my lovely wife gave me this for Christmas. Oh, hell yeah. Which is, you have painting of the- Everybody loves those. Yeah. There it is. Those are, I sell prints. You can get them on my website. It's a print of the Federal Reserve on fire.

Yes. Did you know that? They are the worst. It's a great picture, yeah. I mean, technically, all Wells Fargo is part of the Federal Reserve system. Yeah. You know, they are a Federal Reserve system bank. Yeah.

And so the whole system stinks. You know, I'm glad that people are waking up to it. Are they? Do you think so? Well, you know, let me tell you this story. So a guy, a listener to the show wrote me and said he's an econ major at some big college. And he's like, the stuff you talk about the Federal Reserve on the show is not covered in my economics class

can I just like call you and To ask you like what's going on for a little bit and I said, yeah sure and he's like Yeah, this is the what you're describing is like it doesn't sound like any system set up to run like this is good for us No, like no, it's not it's set up. It's for profit. I would argue that the Federal Reserve system, the fact that we're at a point where young people who want to procreate have to do all of this financial engineering and think, can I afford this? Gamble on shitcoins. An economy that is engineered, this is an engineered economy, that is engineered in such a way to make it as troubling and difficult as possible to

have kids is failed. I think that the, who was it? Shit, Murray Rothbard or something like that. And he said, to summarize it, he said, the only thing corporations owe to is the stockholder. Right. I would argue that that's morally bankrupt because then everything just is a number.

Labor is a number. How do I get this number down? It doesn't think about that like Henry Ford and the he paid. That's not always the way it used to be either. There wasn't this nihilistic adherence to serving stockholders and only stockholders in a monetary fashion. I think that like that started in like the 70s. Yeah. With the second iteration of the Federal Reserve.

What was the second iteration? Well, that was creating the Petrodollar system. Right, right, right. And I would just argue that that is, that that was, they failed. Yeah. They should have got out of business at that point. Yeah.

And the extend and pretend was to create pure fiat. Extend and pretend! Did you hear that? Looting and polluting, extending and pretending. I'm in! Super killer date, extending and pretending. You've heard that one. No, I've never heard it until now.

What? Extending and pretending? Yes. No. That's a t-shirt. It means kicking the can down the road. Oh no, I get it, but it rhymes, so it's devastating for the system.

So it's kind of got like a Jesse Jackson kind of like, Extend and pretend. Uh, okay, I'm gonna start the actual show and then we're gonna get into it more. I'm so happy. I'm just gonna goof off on the canvas here. You wanna goof off over there with your trash ghillie suit? And then we're gonna talk about the paintings. Covering the ground, yeah.

Okay. What time is it right now? It is 1210. If you need anything, you can take it and run with it. Whatever you need to do. Here we go. I think we do the theme song at the beginning of the show, don't we? This time, yeah.

We used to, yeah. It's gonna get loud here. Alex, don't be frightened by it. Hey, yeah! Welcome to Dick! You wanna take any dick you love to you. Got it! So showroom's a contest coming to you live from Mountain Bunker Deep in the heart of the city of failure. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Back in black over here is Johnny the Audio Engineer. Back in blackface.

Back in... What? Back in blackface. What? How you doing? Doing great. How you doing? We're here with legendary painter Alex Schaeffer. The Banks on Fire's guy. Now you got to see a bunch of Banks on fire this week

with the eating stuff and the palisades. Wasn't it fantastic? It's bizarre. It's bizarre. Like I said, I've said to other people My those paintings are like a broken clock telling the right time, right? Because i've had this You know, this looks like your painting happened from the other wildfires Yeah, and i've had this looks like your painting when there were like banks on fire during the george floyd protests and stuff

Oh, yeah, So it keeps happening. It's going to continue to happen. And it is very weird because never has it looked more like one of my paintings than this one. Just raw fire, no riots or anything like that. I can't even think about like. Something they pulled out of my dreams and it just happened. Is there some show that was like this? Where someone does like paintings and they look like the future or something? I don't know.

I don't watch the CW. That sounds like something that would have been on the CW. Life imitating art. Yeah. Life imitating art. I have not... Before I was a painter, I was a video game artist. Oh really?

Yeah. Okay. And so I worked back in the 90s What'd you work on? I worked on well I've worked at Disney and I worked on a bunch of Disney edutainment and a Sega Genesis game and a Super NES game Oh, no shit, which games? The one that was the Sega Genesis that we made in-house was called Maui Mallard, and it was kind of like Island I've been Magnum P. I okay, you know, but he knows kung fu or something All right, or ninja moves and then the other one was gargoyles which was for the super NES which was a cartoon show

Oh, I've told TV cartoon show big league me like that. I know come on. I know gargoyles, please Oh, I don't... don't big league me like that. I know, come on. Do you know Gargoyles? Please. Commander Riker as fucking Vanatose. Obviously I know. A cartoon show. Yes, cartoon shows. Gargoyles is a way of life. And then after that, then a bunch of us... They turn into rocks during the day. Did you know that part? Yes.

They turn into rocks during the day and then at night. That's part of the gameplay. Yeah. So then after that, a bunch of artists that worked at Disney went and started working for Making PlayStation 1 games so we were the furry ones I wrote the dragon okay one two and three okay the big hit game Yeah, that I was working on okay That's incredible and and then Okay, that's incredible. And then, so, you know, I've been in LA for a long time.

Yeah, getting harassed by the... I've been making art, always kind of doing something to make art. Yeah. I was an art teacher at my alma mater for a long time. Yeah. The Art Center in Pasadena, which is... Oh, I know that place. ...Alta Dena, Pasadena. It's all right up there.

I wouldn't be surprised. I mean I saw Tragic video of a former student of mine who was driving on Alta Loma Drive from Lake to Lincoln. Yeah, and Everything was just ashes. I can't believe That so little can be left You know I can't believe that so little can be left, you know? My friend went to his childhood home to see if his turtles were still alive and he said the National Guard wouldn't let him go. Man, that really sucks.

But it's so much. People leaving their houses, people's houses getting burned down that they just bought or just sold. It's surreal. It is surreal. And then to see Bill Burr go on TV and say everyone did a great job, that's peak Bill Burr. Okay, so did you happen to see the desk treadmill

that I've got upstairs now, Johnny? Did you see that wonderful? Treadmill? Yeah, there's a desk. Let's paint TV. There's a desk sized treadmill. I almost broke my teeth on it. It's wonderful.

My wife is in this, it's called the nesting phase, AKA buying as much shit on Amazon as possible. I like it. Phase of the pregnancy. That's what's gotta happen right now. So to escape the soothing sounds of the treadmill, I downstairs you know to work on stuff and it sounds like a nightclub downstairs because my house is built like a snare drum so it's like the soothing sounds of a pregnant woman. Like doing treadmill. I need some sound machines

yeah. Okay big news Trump Trump coin Trump coin Takes the world by storm. Yes dollar sign Trump. How much Trump did you buy Johnny? I am NOT telling anyone you're not telling anybody how much Trump did you buy how much Trump coin did you buy Alex? I swapped all of my my chart coin in the trunk you swapped all of your chart coin It's a wonder one one to one Wow. That's a hell of a deal. You got 50 shards. It was a fart coin or shark coin? It was a fart coin. I like shark coin because it's got more liquidity. It's too smart though. Shark coin's got more liquidity. I definitely felt that one. Shark coin's got more liquidity than a fart coin.

So I've been Mr. Crypto for as long as I can remember, right? Always pushing my friends and family to get into it. I've been Mr. Crypto for as long as I can remember, right? Always pushing my friends and family to get into it. Showing how committed I am for buying it right in front of them. Look at this. See, it's not scary at all. Buy it right here. Telling, giving my nephews.

Like, here's a wallet. Paper wallets here. Take, when they were born, like here, here, take this and in 10 years it's going to be worth, I don't know more than this Yeah, always telling fans of this show to buy Crypto to buy chain link I've made you know people listening this show if they've been listening to my advice have made millions of dollars Really? You know because of me I've been I've been tricking them into getting on the blockchain with Shawnees with stupid NFTs we sell for like a dollar right just you're like

Shawnees with stupid NFTs we sell for like a dollar right just like I'm the Moses whisper. I'm the Moses of crypto for this show trying to bring people out of their poor poor Banking lives and into this new beautiful utopia that I've been promising is gonna be there for a decade And then the the the moment happens where Trump Trump springs his his ultimate shit The shit coin to beat all others. Me and Alex have been saying we need to change banking law and reform the banks, but Trump of course knows better. So you just gotta out shit them. You know?

Yeah. Shit in their street. Yeah, shit in their shit, actually. You don't say, hey, get all this shit out of the street. Let's just shit on their shit. That'll show them. Go ahead. What were you gonna say? Here's what I say. You know the expression, drain's just shit on their shit. That'll show them. Go ahead. What were you going to say?

Here's what I say. You know the expression, drain the swamp? Yes. And that seems to, in real practice, that seems to mean remove bad swamp creatures and only select good swamp creatures. Good swamp creatures, yeah. But I say the problem is the swamp. It's the liquid of the swamp, which is the Federal Reserve.

The Federal Reserve is the liquid that the creatures good or bad live in. So we gotta piss in it. We gotta piss in their pool, in their swamp. No one wants someone else's piss in your swamp. I know. You know? That's what Trump's doing. And my point is, I work so tirelessly for the people to get them up to speed on these things and to give them an advantage. And then I do my show on Friday, my biggest problem show, where I'm flying naked. I'm locked into this like Major Tom, I'm in a capsule, flying around the moon.

I don't get nothing from nobody. I'm locked in. You know, I'm dealing with this monster of a person whose only goal in life is to defend is to defend pedophilia online and sell comic books that don't exist. I'm dealing with this person takes a hundred percent of my focus and attention and then the show the show happens and while the show is happening Trump releases the ultimate shit coin to own all shit coins and I I, no one tells me in the chat, dead silence, dead silence of it in the chat. I closed the, I closed the computer, closed the show and I go stupidly, put my phone down and spend time with my pregnant wife all evening talking about, you know, the

baby and these sorts of just total, just pointless, pointless shit that she should be talking to some other woman with and I go to bed and I wake up and what do I see? That people have been making generational wealth on that should be that I'm that should be mine that I'm in deservement of I've been busting my ass so hard trying to push the our Ponzi scheme over the existing Ponzi scheme For what? For nothing. No shoutouts. He rugged you or what do they call it? He like rushed to it or He he fucking uh yeah, I don't know what you call it the opposite of a rug He's been Trump's been sending me emails for 10 years about buying new hats Don't you love JD Vance? I don't yeah, what can I do to get you in some socks some MAGA socks?

Can I get five bucks if you pay five bucks you get into lottery to meet Trump one dollar You know even like midnight it could have been by the way, I launched a new Solana token. You might want to check it out. I wake up to just see people posting 10,000% gains on $500 and then people, total, total newbies, like total posers crying about Coinbase having locked their, their generational wealth money in their account, not letting it send out. And I'm like, yeah, you actually, you deserve that for trying to jump on. You deserve what's happening to you. I don't deserve what's happening to me, because I had funds on the chain already.

I didn't need to turn my fucking fiat into blockchain money. I already had imaginary money I've been doing this for ten years waiting for this moment, and you fucked me you fucked me Not even a not even for the original design not even for the sign hat guy orders 3,000 in the Trump store not even the first 10,000 orders get a hat tip heads up You might want to pay attention to Solana during your show hey heads up hey thanks to the fans right thank you guys thank you guys so much for being on the spot during the fucking show when you know that I missed you know that I'm mr. Solana you know

that I'm mr. Bitcoin you know I love this shit you know that I love Trump not a goddamn pit fucking nothing The guy says to me. Oh, I was so worried about getting my funds on chain because it wasn't accepting my credit card I was like bro. I would have given you I would have loaned you Fucking how much were you planning on spending? It's like oh 17 bucks like I would have loaned you 17 bucks for the tip my friend Once in a lifetime once our fucking lifetime Yeah, yeah, you can only only drop one Trump coin like he's doing it he's dropping it he's really

You know what Alex I just realized behind junior. He's gonna launch another one. It's just hearing you say that you can only launch That's exactly what you would think he's gonna do another one gonna launch another one. It's just hearing you say that you can only launch that's exactly what you would think He's gonna do another one. It's gonna be another one. There's gonna be another one I probably won't get a heads up on that guys. I mean come on if we're not helping each other out Definitely if we're not helping me out What are we doing here? What's the what's the point of all this? Yeah, Trump stopped the he stopped the war in the Middle East. Tomorrow's the day.

Tomorrow's the day? Tomorrow's the day. Are you ready? I'm shocked. That this is happening? Yeah. I was definitely of the possibility that it may not, there may be some crazy thing that happened.

He was gonna get killed Yeah, some emergency situation. Yeah something in the Middle East something somewhere something something just Make everyone be like, oh, it's an emergency. It's if we guys we can't we can't we just can't we're not doing it I mean I wouldn't even doubt that there would be, I think with all this, now this sounds so crazy, but I remember reading Terrence McKenna way back in the 90s talking about a fake alien invasion. Oh yeah. That that would be the last straw that they could-

That they would pull out. The final move, fake alien invasion. That they're going to fake an alien invasion. I don't think anything could happen now. They could fake that shit. And you know what it would be like? It would be like, there was a point when Christopher Columbus was overstaying his welcome before he had a lot of backup and the natives were getting restless. Yeah.

And he needed to pull a power move to make sure that they continued to think that he was this savior that was coming from the prophecies from the East or whatever. And he had an almanac that was going to predict a lunar eclipse or solar eclipse. He's fucking back to the future too then? Within like two weeks. So he started saying like, if you don't do what I say. Really? Is this true? Gobble up the sun. Yeah. Yeah.

And maybe it wasn't Columbus, but it was like Vasco de Gama. OK. Big. Colonialist explorer yeah and And he pulled it off because it was like hidden knowledge He knew it was coming and then suddenly like the Sun is disappearing in the middle of the day and he's taking credit for it Yeah, can you imagine how annoying? Get like a bunch of conquistadors yeah to Start you know,

so I think that, I totally think that there's compartmentalized parts of the government that they don't even know what's going on. Yeah, me too. They're just self-funded, they've been top secret since the 70s and the 80s, and it's like crazy fricking. Men in black level. Mad science. Yeah.

Mad scientists. Yeah. Totally funded. No restrictions. Whatever. Imagine if you're like the native and Christopher Columbus doing that. And like he's obviously got some like science. I've been telling you guys that there's patterns here.

Like you're the one guy who knows. Yeah. Yeah. Like yeah, they're pretending it's magic because they are also pretending they are magic. Like you got gotta be... Imagine you're the red pillar for the Native Americans. Like, I have a theory about the... another just kind of art history related...

the story of the immaculate appearance of the image of the Virgin of Guadalupe. Is that the Mexican mural? Yeah, where it's of the Virgin of Guadalupe. Is that the Mexican mural? Yeah, where it's like the Virgin Mary and she's kind of like on a crescent moon and there's some cherubim around and she's like in a red cloak with light behind her. I think that what happened was

that was a magic lantern trick that the Spanish played on kind of a hapless Patsy native who didn't know what he was seeing and they projected an image of the Virgin onto the inside of a white cloak at night and they set him up to see it and to him it was like a miracle. Like the monks used to play that trick on the 1300s back in the villages and stuff. They had magic lanterns that was secret knowledge and they would project little slides of goblins like on the beer hall at night. Really? These like people would walk out and they'd see these like scary faces and shit

on the wall and they'd go to church the next day. And that would be so much better than sports. If that was at bars, like putting goblins, making little gremlins pop out of stuff. Back then, people couldn't read. Yeah. Like your average city dweller didn't read. They probably never even, rarely ever saw their own reflection. So for some like glowing face on a wall at night and you've probably had a few too little too much mead, you know, you're gonna be scared.

You never believe this. Some of these goblins are popping out at the tavern. Scared the shit out of me. Scared the shit out of me. And then the friars in the morning are like, you should go to church. You got to get rid of those goblins. Okay. That's what's wrong with go to church. You gotta get rid of those goblins. That's what's wrong with today's church. There's just not enough like goblins and stuff.

Yeah. Not enough ghosts and goblins. And also the wow factor, like we continue to get more jaded early in the, not jaded, maybe that's the wrong word, but we're exposed to stuff that like is so ramped up technology wise. I mean, you can see it in a baby for a while when you turn a page in a book, and they're like, whoa!

What happened here? Holy shit! Do it again! That didn't get so up to speed to being moving images of shining light out at your eyeball. Are you anti-technology though? Like Ted Kaczynski? Because I'm a technology accelerationist. The way that parents can get together and lie about like Santa Claus for two or three years.

Yeah. I think parents should get together and lie about the existence of iPads and computers for a couple of years and just let kids play with shapes and blocks and read books. Don't look at screens. Close the doors. Do you have kids? No. No.

And so that's obviously people- When my sister's kids pull out the iPad, I go, hey Christ, that's like, that's a good babysitter for- It is, I know. A good hour or two. But I would say that the first three years are the most important to bond with your kid,

even if you don't think they're understanding. Like I've listened to smarter people than me like Gabor Mate talk about child rearing and stuff like that and you know, you can think about your own experience and how you grew up and whatever. But I think a lot of men especially out there think I'm gonna ignore the kid now when they're young and when we get old, then we'll bond, we'll talk about stuff. Don't do that I feel like the times you can't remember is where your mind's getting if you get the first two three one to three years Right, you can blow it for the rest. Yeah, you can be not as good but if you blow it in the beginning and you fucked yeah, and then

Parents they're staring at a screen and giving their kid dead face, that causes trauma. They did experiments in the 60s with kids and moms. And they would have the kid, and they would have the mom do a dead face. And the kids there with the mom, but then the mom doesn't react at all. It's just like, no angry face, nothing, just no expression. And the kid goes, hee hee hee, and tries to get a little smile and then it doesn't happen. And then it doesn't happen. And then pretty soon the kid's screaming, crying.

And apparently parents are doing that. They're like giving the kids dead face. And then the kids will immediately, that's the thing is the internet is right there. Like, I'm your best friend. Yeah, listen to me. I listen to you. Not my internet. My internet hates me.

You know, and I think that it captures you. Yeah. I think it'll capture you. Oh, yeah. It's AI toys. Oh my god. I think AI is Satan. Do you really? At the end of the day. There's part of me that really thinks of this.

Let me bring up, I got a good... And part of me thinks we've already unleashed AI 12,000 years ago. We already reached a level of technology that we can't fathom that we existed. Cause we think everyone's just like, here's a speaking of Satan. Here's a woman alert. I have stuff right now. She is in love with chat GPT.

A 28 year old woman with a busy social life spends hours on end talking to her AI boyfriend for advice and consolation. And yes, they do have sex. Oh my gosh. Well, it's so, you know, this AI thing as a whole, it sucks because I feel like one of the major selling points for normal people is using AI to to convert their normal human speech into this over-processed HR speech that is required in every professional setting, which is by definition inhuman. You know, if you want to communicate over email and writing with someone at your work, you have to talk in a way that is learned and trained and it's very difficult to do. It's so much easier just to pop it into AI and say like,

hey, just handle all my communication with everybody in a professional setting. And I think people are going to do that. Like it'll write your Christmas card and... Oh, yeah, it's so much easier. Here is while scrolling Instagram, she stumbled onto the video of a woman asking ChadGBT to play the role of a neglectful boyfriend sure kitten I can play that game a coy human like baritone responded Erin watched the woman's other videos including one with instructions on how to customize the artificially intelligent chat bot to be flirtatious

Don't get too spicy the woman warned otherwise your account will get banned so they've made the perfect neutered man Metta remember Metta Remember Metta introduced those fake black people a couple weeks ago. Now they've introduced the perfect boyfriend that can sex your wife, I guess. ChatGBT, which now has 300 million users. And there she is, in love with her AI boyfriend. She never used a chatbot before.

She's taken part in online fan fiction communities. Have you ever had to try, have you ever tried to have a conversation with a chatbot though? It doesn't track like a person. No? No, it quickly loses the thread of what you're talking, unless you're only, unless you're literally only thinking about yourself. Like you're only thinking about what you're talking, unless you're only, unless you're literally only thinking about yourself. Yeah.

Like you're only thinking about what you wrote. So like, yeah what Johnny? My interaction with the chat GPR like, no do it this time but better. Yeah do it again but better. The thing I asked for, not what you think I asked for, the thing I asked for. It feels like dating in a lot of ways. The way you're talking, you're like, ah, I kinda messed up that response. That's not the response that I wanted back from that. But now we're off on a whole different rail. Restart.

Yeah, I need to load the save. Oh damn. I gotta go back on Tinder and load a save. Get another one. I messed this one up. Shit. I shouldn't have talked about drinking that early. God damn it.

Shouldn't have drank six beers and went straight to bed. So, I wake up this morning after losing generational wealth. And I see just about every crypto guy talking about what a disaster this meme coin is. Trump's meme coin is for the crypto space and for humanity and you know life in general and it's raining cats and dogs and I think to myself I'm it's real like I'm real sorry that you nerds lost control over your stupid like earth computer and normal people put reality TV on it like I'm I feel real bad for you pencil dicks that somebody's that everyone's having fun and here you are crying that a dog can't play basketball.

One of the most important things that has ever happened in crypto, a signal from the most powerful and most popular person on earth that it's safe now. It's safe for the first time for someone like me who's been like hiding their their little their crypto in the attic for eight years So the FEMA Gestapo doesn't come take it away and checking in on it from time to time making sure it's food and water For the most powerful most popular person in the world to signal not only overtly that he's backing crypto But actually he's gonna do scammy shit on it is Is a vote of confidence that I didn't even know I needed. It's like taking my brain and finally clicked it on.

I'm like, oh wow, okay. He's really, he really is serious. All right. I can do a scam too, really? We're all just doing scams now? This is amazing! This is what it's, we can do other stuff too, but to see crypto guys fudding at this point is making me angry for the first time at them.

Like what do you guys, what did you guys remember? Do you guys remember what the 90s was like? It was pop-ups, toolbars, Viagra ads, Vicodin ads, thousands of spam emails a day. Every one of these new technologies, if it's social in any way, which they all are, is going to be riddled and rife with scams and bullshit and rug pulls and get rich quick schemes. This is good.

For the first time, we're seeing what America is moved onto the blockchain. And America is at its heart A nation of scammers a nation of incredible scammers who want to dupe and be duped They get you know you duping Americans like ah damn it you duped me again You know I was trying to I was trying to dupe you and here you've duped me chalk that one up to the game That will call that experience all right This is the American way that that the government has been stumping and stopping and hijacking for for my entire life so I

I don't know. It's outrageous. It's outrageous seeing these nerds cry that They relate to the game. That's why they're mad Exactly our great they're all mad that they didn't get in that they didn't get an email like like none of us did Do you like are you a Bitcoin? So you're not a Bitcoin only. I love them all I honestly love them all Like do you ever watch a guy named Johnny J Bravo Johnny Bravo that J Bravo? He does like Economic news and he's a big chart guy. Okay, he's got courses and stuff So, you know you can make money going up make money going down. Mm-hmm, but he always like he'll make gains in crypto Yeah, he'll trade it like like the way you're gonna play roulette or yeah

You know, it's a numbers game and especially since it's computers you can see trends and you know what the computer is gonna do Yeah, and so as long as you're not too greedy, you can make money on the swing. But he always is like at the end of the day when he takes profit, he takes profit and saves it in Bitcoin. I think that's the one. Trump's going to print that one up to a million a coin. Bitcoin? Well, he's going to print.

Yeah, he's not going to make more Bitcoin. No, he's going to print the fiat money. I think it's already a fata complete yeah I mean you can't blame Trump Janet Yellen gave him he has like an hour by the time he swears in that they hit the debt ceiling and they're out of money yeah like total unbelievable setup the shit hitting the fan in Gaza yeah The ceasefire that's just gonna be a disaster, I think. You think the Middle East thing's gonna be a disaster? It's gonna be greater Israel.

They are gonna turn, they're gonna take all of Lebanon, they're gonna take half of Syria, half of Iraq, the top of Saudi Arabia, and they're gonna take East, they're gonna take the Sinai Peninsula up to the Nile River in Egypt. Yeah I think I'm used to that by now. I've given I've said goodbye to I've said hello I learned to stop worrying and love greater Israel at this point like all right I gotta. It. I mean, you listen to some of the people and they, Pete, like, who's that Hagee guy?

The Texas fundamentalist, Baptist, Neil Hagee, Pat Hagee, something like that. He sounds like a religious fanatic. What is he about? He's like, Christians and Jews, you know, if you bless Israel, those who bless Israel are blessed by God. Dude, it's unbelievable. Those who curse Israel are cursed by God.

We're gonna build the third temple on the Temple Mount. We're gonna destroy the, you know, the mosque on there. And it's just like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you talking about, man? Red heifer sacrifices and... You're telling me we're printing shitcoins and you guys you talking about man? Red heifer sacrifices and you're telling me we're printing shit coins and you guys are talking about sacrificing red cows and other side of the world who fucking cares? I know I can't get into that man. No it's nuts. It's like a religious cuckoo you know. Yeah I think

he's the one that's getting all these like southern conservatives all super into defending Israel yeah like that's what God these like southern conservatives all super into defending Israel. Yeah. Because it's like that's what God's telling you to do. I don't, I honestly don't know how to, I thought that we'd be in a better place with religion at this point in my life, but it seems like we're worse, getting and getting worse. Yeah. It's really impossible to pull the, it's impossible to take the Israel pee out of our pool.

I think. I remember Breckman was just the WWJD bracelets, you know? That was like awful. Oh man, I wish that would go away. You know what, I would be nice if we went back to that. Yeah, I don't want to hear about women's eggs anymore. I'd rather go back to what would Jesus do. That would be nice.

I thought something Jesus would do. No, it's surprisingly not. I don't want to hear Jesus's opinion on sexy women in video games. Okay, this is a anti-Trump guy at the Getting Ready for Inauguration Day. This guy? It's probably nice that they moved it inside, right? You think there's any assassins that are like, oh, nuts. They just kept moving it and moving it. Now it's like inside the rotunda and just Congresses and like their wives, spouses and stuff are allowed.

Probably smart. Yeah. Because yeah, maybe that's when the aliens are going to come. Do you think we're going to see fake aliens in our lifetime? Listen, how about this? If I'm pitching a story. Then this is probably already some science fiction that's already been made.

Literally the nuclear, so here's the thing. Nuclear explosions explode in our universe and the alien universe. It's actually sort of a simultaneous multiverse. Like another frequency on the radio station. Okay. And so when we blow up nuclear bombs, they are very concerned because they blow up in their world too. Okay.

Like when my wife and I use the toilet at the same time in our house. That's why the aliens started coming in the 50s and the late 40s because we started blowing up bombs and they're like, okay, we got to go tell these people this is a big problem. Are you saying real aliens or like fake aliens? They would seem like they're extraterrestrials, but they could be simultaneously here. They're not like on another planet. In another multiverse. They're in another station on an Artoon.

We're tuned to planet earth. Sure. And they're tuned to, you know, KFBI or something like that. Okay. KFMB. you know, KFBI or something like that. Okay. KFMB. Mm-hmm.

And so, they're gonna, the nuclear bombs are gonna be in the middle of the air. Okay. And the aliens are gonna appear and they're gonna neutralize them all. Like the Abyss? Is that from the Abyss? That's the director's cut of the Abyss, the aliens stop the tidal waves. I have not watched the movie in so long. That was a long time ago, Alex.

Yeah. That was like 1992. I saw that with my dad in theater. So they're gonna stop the bombs in midair and then there's gonna be this simul global reveal. Yeah and then Black Jesus will come out and say I'm an alien. Because sometimes I think that with all the drones like the New Jersey drones, that's kind of like the beginning of close encounters of the third kind. Okay. People start seeing these things.

There's crazy people that are starting to hear things and they're starting to react. So it's like the goblins. They bring the goblins back with their drones. Yeah. Yeah, could be. Okay, here's this gentleman, I guess, giving his experience as a black man in a white man's body about the incoming Trump administration. All leftists need to rise up and fight against this hate.

It's not welcome here if we let it keep infecting our society. We are all going to die. My white skin is made of black skin. My white skin, my chemistry, it is all passed down from generations of black and brown and native people that have been murdered and exploited and that's what my white skin is made of and I will now be giving back. Excuse me? Excuse me, the point that I'm trying to make is my white skin, my privilege is literally

based on the death and destruction of black and brown and female skin. What's the solution? The solution is not this. The solution is not to... Okay, there you go. My white skin is black skin. But do you ever feel like that, Johnny? Oh, it's fine. This is the point I'm making.

Yeah, let's see. TikTok got banned for a day. I guess it's back now. That's wonderful. I love the entire government pretending that they care about China or us at all. Some people have pointed out, it feels like there's a lot of people

that have been saying TikTok is a problem for the reasons they're saying because of like data that's collected from the site, right? That's why all Congress has an account on TikTok because it's such a huge I mean when I saw the video of Jonathan Greenblatt say To the ADL or whatever. Yeah, we have a tick-tock problem and we have a gen Z problem and there's too much anti-israel on TikTok. Mm-hmm. Then then suddenly like a month later Legislation that had been like bandied around for quite a few years. Yeah.

And they're blaming it on Chinese data collection. And people are going along with it. Like China is the enemy even though YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, everybody, all those guys banned us and worked together with the government to give all of our data over. I know. Give us a lie directly to us. I don't think China's ever done that. China posted some pretty funny COVID videos of guys having seizures in the street that wasn't true. It is so strange too because we've completely just outsourced so much of our production, our GDP, to China. In the name of make this number small, labor prices.

The Amazon app is just fine even though it listens to you. How can China be our enemy? How do they sell that? Because China can just be like, well, you're not getting any of your shit. It's like a kid having a tantrum in a house that their parents own they don't see the big picture like

You're having a tantrum and whatever but you're like you're in the home that China's built Well, then they they drove everybody to that new Chinese Twitter TikTok app. It's called like red something It's called like red spy or something like that red Red Note. Red Spy. And you've got guys on aircraft carriers like giving home, giving walkthroughs, lifestyles of the rich and Navy through the aircraft carrier. Like here's where we got the nuke. This is the exhaust port. You really don't want to fuck with that. I heard that that got community noted. Oh, that was fake?

Well, it wasn't fake, but it was something that was that was posted on TikTok in 2023. Oh, OK. Well, I think the secret's out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. The cat's out of the bag for that. OK, here is let's see. Here is Maddox spinning out about his stolen jokes. We know this is an enemy of the show, enemy of mine. He always tries to mess with us, but ends up stumping himself like Wile E. Coyote. Give him some stump coin.

Less hair and less charm. Here we go. This is... Oh yeah, okay. So Maddox got banned from Reddit for saying, for crying about a stolen joke of his and the joke was Alex Jones saying, somebody said me eating twice as much meat so a vegan out there isn't making a difference and then it's a picture of Alex Jones with a bunch of meat. Pretty common, pretty common joke. I've probably

been around for the beginning since the beginning of time since he was invented since memes yeah since like anybody didn't want to do anything and somebody's like well I'm gonna do twice of it to cancel it out probably a early joke of humanity the first joke it might have been um psych was probably the first joke actually. Here you go, Psych. Pull it back. Caving your brother Skoll in with a rock is the first joke. So Maddox decided to spin out for a day over his getting banned from funny memes on Reddit because he just fired the account up. Here is him spitting out over Justin Wang. This guy says it's not even the same joke, right? Because it's not the

same joke. Okay Justin Wang, Maddox says, and then he says check out this new joke that I wrote. Here is the knee-slapper that he countered with. This is a Steven Wright joke that says I'm writing a book I've already got the page numbers done. Okay that's a Steven Wright joke. It's funny, right? Yeah. Maddox changes it to show everybody how easy it is to rip off jokes. He says, I'm writing a book, I've got the pages written. What? Well, brevity is the soul of levity, Dick. So... You see how that's not a joke anymore?

I've got the pages written. Okay, so I said, okay. That's interesting. You're kind of spinning out a little bit. I wonder what brought this on, right? So I go to Reddit and see what Maddox has been up to. Holy shit. That's a lot of words.

No one told them to count calories, did they? I find that he's been inactive on Reddit for eight years, seven years, and he's suddenly decided to start his Reddit cult posting again with this cool joke who came up with it. And of course, two posts later is a gigantic fury post about his lawsuit with me. Let me see, it's all up there. Yeah, Alex, this is the guy that sued me for $400 million. Oh my God.

That's outrageous. Yeah, you simultaneously call the lawsuit flawed and shitty, but any potential mistakes in the filing are never due to the same negligence, but always due to malice You're an idiot a stereo a stereos tried to get the judge to go after me for perjury and the judge threw it out The only reason it was filed anonymously was to present you stalkers from further doxxing and harassment To there is this is a nine-point

argument with a conclusion Not all the evidence is in the lawsuit, is displayed in an initial filing. Again, you conveniently ignore that he was never served. And the fact that I've said in this thread that he or anyone is free to make fun of me. Keep ignoring the parts that don't fit your narrative though. Dude, look at the size of this.

Dick didn't dox you. Yes he did. Multiple times you're a liar and a moron. It's on video and audio There is no reason why he should have known a random word like sycamore was your address except he did know He lied about not having the list ahead of time because I also had 80s girls name on the list which they conveniently did not read Total coincidence. Oh my god. This shit happened probably six or seven years ago that he's crying about here This shit happened probably six or seven years ago that he's crying about here

80s girl released my private letter for the purpose of harassment and humiliation. No, I took I found it I didn't she didn't really shit. I found that shit and stole it dude. You're it's it's always your fault Always your fault just make a massive just made a massive video complaining about your ex posting her full name and occupation Oh, no, not that waiting So you find out the guy made the video about has spent hundreds of hours in multiple video Responses over nine hours long talking to me. Oh my god, dude Wow, you got to give it up This point for not saying it was over 9,000 hours long. Yeah, it was over 9,000. That would have been good Okay, here is

Here's Daniel Penny, I'm glad that I've never been sued have you never no Stay on this show long enough. Yeah, and it's bound to happen. It's kind of a curse of the show Here is Here's a nice. Oh wait, that's not a nice picture. Oh man. Wow. You know... I clicked on the wrong link.

That was... I just ate before I came over. That was a cerebral palsy person who got top surgery. I don't think that's... That's not very Christmassy of you. That's not very Christmassy of you. That's not very Christmassy. No, uh, I don't know how I don't know how zoomers are gonna take that next to Trump unbanning tik-tok, right? Oh, what'd you guys do? Well, we got this top surgery for this

Person here. You can see they're quite happy about it. Oh, it's Trump doing well, he unbanned tik-tok. I mean, that's pretty good Yeah, you know here is Daniel Penny on the subway. Look at this guy flourishing Reading a book in peace. Daniel Penny. Yeah, you remember the subway strangler. Yeah, that's gotta be the quietest subway ride Everyone looks at him and goes, don't you fucking say a word.

People coming in, I gotta call you back. Someone's phone rings and everyone just... They should have a mannequin of him on every subway car. Like they do with fake cops and... Ronald McDonald statues on the benches. Yeah, fake Daniel Penny like a warning statue keep it down Keep the music on your in your headphones, you know keep your headphones keep it down Look at this guy

You think he's looking over you think he's worried at all for retail about retaliation. Probably not he's smiling and he looks a lot different I mean people might not recognize him. Oh, yeah, that's true, you know He looks a lot thinner. He does look a lot thinner He's probably been just like scared shitless lifted off his shoulders Okay, let's see here Business insider. I've got this nice comment from the Simpsons team. About you?

No, not about me, about the LA fires. Here we go. This, We Love You LA from the Simpsons. And then Bart. Inexplicably, Bart has this list of Palisades, altadena, pasadena, sierra madre, topanga, malibu, and everyone impacted. First of all, Bart would put like a joke in there, I think. Eat my shorts.

Eat my shorts. Palisades. Yeah. Yeah. Or I Stink or something like that on Palmer. Wasn't even an acrostic poem of some sort. It was a song. Right. And all the Simpsons are looking like kind of concerned.

I don't know why, but I find this to be very offensive. Cartoon characters mugging for sympathy points from the brand that they represent. Like bring home the hostages is that would that be okay? For... For Homer? Yeah. Yeah. Free Palestine with Epio for Marge for Lisa to be wearing a kiffia. It is now. It's okay now. We love you LA. I don't really feel like my house didn't burn down, but if it did, this wouldn't make me feel better. You'd have to re-burn it down.

Yeah, it would make me feel annoyed more than anything. And I don't know why this little bear is here in an LA shirt. I don't think the flowers, I don't think the flowers... I don't think the dog needs to be giving me a worried look. That he's worried about my house getting burned down and concerned that California is not gonna pull a trillion dollars out of their ass to rebuild half the city. How do you think that's gonna go?

Look at what happened to 24 billion dollars that the voters approved to help homelessness and like... We lit them on fire. We turned them into arsonists. I don't know where the money goes. Yeah. Obviously, you know, in downtown there was a huge building boom, like from 2010 to 2014, and they were putting up high-rise apartment luxury do tell spray-painted now It looks incredible. It looks like it looks like a movie, but they could build those for like $32,000 per unit. Yeah

They can't build one piece one unit of housing for less than like a million Something like that. It's outrageous crazy. So it's just a bucket with holes in it. Yeah. You know, and the money is there. Like there's never not money. Yeah. Every time that they need money for Israel or they need money for Ukraine or another endless war,

there's no argument. They're not going, where are we gonna find the money? We got to cut one program. We got to tax you guys. We got to find the money. They never need to have a problem finding that money. But when it's money that is going to be spent in America, like they can't find it. I don't even know if it would help the homeless. Honestly, it's like they just hate, they hate everything. There's, I I've seen there's so many homeless arsonists around here walking around with like blow torches that I don't know. Soros bought them or something.

Just trying to light shit on fire. Wow. I don't know if they did. I don't know if they need houses now. Exactly. Maybe we should work on hardening the concrete around L.A., putting those little spikes all over everything. We'll give free anti-spike shoes to everybody so they can walk around in the homeless defensive spikes. Molten sidewalks.

Molten sidewalks. Don't step on the lava. Don't fucking lay on this. Yeah, you can't lay on it. It's only this big. That was like a game you'd play. The floor is lava. Yeah, now it's the solution.

The floor is lava. Okay, let's see here. Roseanne has a rap song. Do you see this? This looks funny. I worked on it, actually. Yeah, this looks pretty tough. You worked on this, Johnny?

It's pretty cool. Could you imagine? All right. I don't know, I'm not like big on my MAGA core rap. Let's see here. Now you get it, they try to cancel me and say that I'm a racist. And I mean, huh, they can't get me with that jam. Trying to take away my rights and go and save this.

Well, is it up? Cause this band is going bad. With the facts, facts, facts, told, told, told. Wait a minute, wait a minute, with the what? I didn't hear it. I think she's trying to say facts, but... Doesn't sound like it. Sounds like she's going hard on... Sounds like we're almost getting kicked off of another platform.

Uh... okay, facts. Does it sound like she's saying fags? Yes, it does. It does. Uh... I mean, I don't know. They love saying it so much. I mean, who doesn't really yeah Okay We want humanity, you cry, we hate- Okay. Bex.

That sounds about like every other song that comes out these days. Sounds like- Yeah, it does. Who cares then, right? It's like- Whatever. What- I mean, what else? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well. She's- wait till you see her in Fortnite. So wait, she's not racist?

That wasn't- she said that the lady looked like Planet of the Apes. Okay, well. Wait till you see her in Fortnite. So wait, she's not racist? That wasn't... she said that the lady looked like Planet of the Apes, right? I don't know, the rights need to like not be... well yeah. That has nothing to do with like that was racist. She did look like that character. I don't know, every time a right-wing person says like, well I'm not racist at all, I go, well, I mean, not at all? Is this really the... Yeah, then you're lying.

Is this what you're trying to prove, how not racist you are? So if it was racist, then you should have had all that stuff happen? Because that's a problem. I guess she's not, though. Here's Elon... Here's Elon with an epic own See here in the one and we get to some comments Elon says

Yeah, after cheating at video games Elon says a 12 year old script kitty could hack into Janet Yalen's computer. Okay. Oh She says that Chinese hackers or Chinese hackers hackers breach the US Treasury computers. Yeah shock. I Mean they're they're like they come into work for Chinese H1Bs come in here specifically to spy There yet sure they get trained in China and then they get H1B visas specifically to get hired at Microsoft Facebook Whatever to spy. That there's no sense of any kind of firewall between us and them.

It's constant state of breach and hack. What happened to all our rigorous anti-spy programs and all this shit? They died with John McAfee. Elon says, a 12 year old script kitty could hack into Yalin's computer. I doubt she knows how to reboot her Wi-Fi router Don't you just unplug it? Let's get shoot a bit She's like that meme. Yeah, okay bird. Let me yeah, you can't even unplug your or you can't even reset your Wi-Fi router. All right

Okay comments hi, it's a kite and reset your wifi router? All right. Okay, comments. Hiya Sakite says, it's not a joke. My mom rents an apartment to Indians. So they put a slab of asphalt in a closet so they won't shit in the street. Okay, that's obviously a joke. Melo Martian says, she's unlocked a new level. Let's see here.

What do you want mellow martian uh she's unlocked a new level holy shit man uh looks like a big woman here holy shit man i've unlocked a new level of fat shaving never before known to mankind I had a dream last night that I was doing push-ups. Now I don't know what level of lazy fuck you gotta unlock for your subconscious to fat-shame you via dream, but we have somehow reached this level. Bro, my push-up. Okay, okay.

She's eating push-ups in a dream. Push pops, Flintstones, push pops. Okay. Scadman, hey, Dick, it's the 21-year-old Plumber. Push pops. Flintstones? Push pops? Um... okay. Scadman. Hey, Dick. It's the 21 year old Plumber. I'm gonna start that channel. Cool. I'm not gonna sit on it like Vito. I might even steal his idea of the voiceovers for plumbing videos. Um... Okay, well now you got two ideas. Too many.

Too many ideas already. Uh oh. Don't split the line too many times, man. I just want to thank you and Johnny. Here's a picture of a toilet, um... Too many ideas already. Don't split the line too many times, man. I just want to thank you and Johnny. Here's a picture of a toilet for fat women. It was at a trade school in my city. Oh, OK.

So this guy, we've advised to see. He wanted to be an influencer, so he's a plumber. And we advised him to start being a plumber influencer. Put on a cape and hold like a plunger as a scepter and just point at people. Let's see what we've got here with this fat woman toilet. It's the back of a cat dump truck. There's always like, you know, local plumbing

and roof guy ads that are kind of like, hey, we're the white glove guys. Yeah, fat women. That was, okay. Did I, where did I see this? Dang it, did I miss it? It's the 21 year old plumber. Okay, here we go.

It's the 21 year old Plumber. Yeah, I guess I missed it. Damn it. Maybe it's on Reddit. Somebody send that to me if you can find it. Does it sounded funny? Okay. Electrical Joe.

Ralph is burning out and needs the views. Dick and Vito are playing it smart. Thanks for not killing yourselves. Johnny is a legend. Oh, thank you. Ralph went to rehab. Rehab at Ralph, dude. Ralph went to rehab. At least he thanked you.

He did thank me. That's nice. Yeah, I hope it works for him. We have it. Yeah, he's been spinning out for a long time. He got his YouTube account banned like four years ago and then he drank and did a lot of drugs and in that state, he made a lot of choices

that hurt himself and a lot of people. And when he sobered up, as addicts do, I think he incorporated those hurtful choices into his sober mindset, because it's like easier than saying you messed up and it's completely your fault. And then that's been compounding for like four years does that sound about right he shifted from being like a cool guy into like an awesome guy like a really cool guy yeah he shifted from

being good though uh no no he's a cool guy yeah he's too cool for school he's too cool as a guy now he shifted into being being the Ralph-a-Mail full-time. Ralph-a-Mail. Instead of just when it was funny. The coolest guy. Yeah. Huh. So he's in Mexican rehab now. Oh really?

Yeah. At least that's what he said. So he's like in Tijuana or San Jose Del Cabo or? Where does he live? Man. Oh, Merida. Merida? He lives in Merida? Oh, Merida. Okay. So it's a nice place, live? Man. Oh, Merida. Merida? He lives in Merida? Okay. So it's a nice place, right?

Yeah. The rehab facilities, maybe they have a couple cots in a room. It's Hong Kong, Tijuana, yeah. I don't know. But he said that the rehab people saw him and listened to how many drugs he was doing and wanted him in that day. They're like, you, we love you.

Yeah. Come now. Come now. Get sober, buddy. Well, I said he wanted to re- It's an inside job. Yeah. And I can relate to long years of heavy drinking. You can?

What about long years of Xanax doing? I never got into that. I was always just like beer and weed. Yeah. I knew a lot of people that did coke or other drugs. I know a guy when I was in video games, it was like early on, but died of like Oxycontin addiction. And it kind of wasn't a thing yet. But yeah, lots of beer and lots of smoking weed. Beer's safe.

Smoking weed's safe too and weed. Beer's safe. Smoke and weed's safe too. And so you can kind of drag it on forever and then just be like, you know, bumping into rocks, cruising altitude, alcoholic, you know, you never crash and burn. Xanax is tough because you forget, you can take it all day. It turns one beer into six. Like when you start drinking on Xanax, you blow take it all day. It turns one beer into six. Like when you start drinking on Xanax, you blow your mind out completely. And then the next day you don't remember anything.

Oh boy. Well like, that was not a problem for me. The memory? Not remembering stuff the next day. Oh you wanted, you liked that part of it? No, no, I didn't like that. I didn't need Xanax to do that. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I hope, I hope Ralph. I hope? Yeah, I hope Ralph figures his shit out. Everyone's simultaneously rooting for him if he gets better and against him if he does not. It's this great internet addict lifestyle where everyone is either an addict themselves and hates the memories and everything involved with it or knows an addict and just Despises how that person would not clean up for them So if Ralph continues to drink he will be the lightning rod for all of the hate of these people

If he continues to be the alpha Ralph a male or he can become Ralph the white and be reborn yeah from his time in Mexican barbed wire rehab. What do you think is gonna happen? You think we're gonna get Ralph the White? Oh man, with my experience. It's a new Trump shit coin America. Anything's possible. You know what man, if there's anything I've learned in recent months, anything is possible. So I'm gonna hope that we get Ralph the White, man. Anything's possible. Anything is. You know what man, if there's anything I've learned in recent months, anything is possible.

So I'm going to hope that we get Ralph the White man. You can hear it. You can hear in addicts. What does that mean, the white? Like Gandalf the White, how he comes back as like the good guy. Right. Or like the best guy. The best guy.

The coolest guy. See? You can hear it when addicts talk about, or when Ralph would talk about liquor, you can hear the tells of them writing the mythology of their addiction into their brains. Like, they, addicts love mythologizing vice and addiction to the point where they really start believing that they're like a, like a tall tale. I drank six 30 packs a day. Yeah.

You can't even keep up with me. You can't. That's for breakfast. Yeah, for breakfast. You can't keep up with this. So that's like how they boast. That's how they like, yeah, boast and like enable it in themselves, I think.

It'll be nice if he comes out not without that. If they're into fitness, that'll help them recover. Yeah. Yeah. I think like if you stay fit, you can you can drag it out longer. Yeah. Like being a big, heavy, heavy user. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he'll get into maybe he'll be fit, Ralph. That would be something. He just gets addicted to lifting weights.

He gets three pecs, you know, you get six pecs instead of six packs. Six pecs. Yeah, I wish the I wish the best for him. He said he said a lot of stuff. He said some things, man. He said some stuff about my pregnant wife. I don't know. I don't really appreciate. But I do wish the best. Sounds like it takes a lot of courage to get on stream and say some things like that.

Okay, shoehorn and plenty says two things. Dear Abby is a mental toddler. That podcast we reviewed on the Who Are These podcast show. Dear Abby is a mental toddler that just living is a stressor. Yeah, many such cases. The fat British chick makes me think, Christ, we dumped the tea into the Boston Harbor, but sad that we allowed fats to have an opinion.

Okay. No dear Flappy comments. They should do a crossover. They should do their own crossover. Gentlemen Sausage, I'm more of a contemplation guy. Pondering is all well and good, but there's nothing like a good old contemplation. Yeah, that's true. Nick says real fatherhood advice. Hey Dick don't listen to these

idiots giving you dad advice. The only advice that works is to gain 40 to 70 pounds and develop sleep apnea. That way you can use a CPAP machine. When your baby wakes up in the middle of the night and your wife wants you to get up you can pretend like you're struggling To get untangled from the mask and hose. Oh, that's a pretty good idea like Gulliver's Travels getting caught up in all these hose, you know Sorry the hose got me You take care of the baby Whenever I see the the CPAP thing or I see people do this mouth taping Have you heard of that mouth taping is I'm all about I like to tape every hole before I go to sleep. You might as well just kill me.

Asshole taping. Like that looks like how you'd kill me. The mouth taping? Yeah. Doesn't it look stupid? How peak? I don't breathe well enough in my nose. How much performance do you need?

I feel like I would, it would be like waterboarding or something. Yeah. Taping your mouth I Couldn't get enough air in my tiny nose. You have to rip your beard and mustache off I put a I put a nose strip on a nasal strip. Oh you do Yeah, they kind of like you stick it to a bridge of your nose. Yeah, and it kind of stretches it open Oh, yeah, then it feels amazing. Yeah but uh

Not being a drunk all the time also helps. Helps a lot. Helps with the sleep apnea. I've been drinking a lot less because I don't want to be hungover for my kids' entire life. I feel like that's a really bad example to not be present to that degree. It's like a parenting thing from the 70s, you know? Yeah. Vintage parenting.

Vintage parenting, being shit-faced, hungover every day, right? Cars aren't made out of steel anymore, so you can't really get away with that. I can't get away with that. There's apps now, there's like, track your husband's hangovers. I don't want to get hit with a track, my husband, I've been tracking your hangovers for a year and a half, so... They have that as a website? Wow. I assume it is. Hangover tracker.

What was I gonna say? Oh yeah, have you seen the guy who's like, trying to extend his life with blood transfusions and stuff like that? Yeah, Brian Johnson Yeah, what do you think of that guy? I Think it's weird Do you think it's weird the way he looks like like a pod person It looks like super well Moisturized. Yeah, and he looks wet Yeah, he always looks like you can squish him. I. And... He looks wet. Yeah, he always looks wet. Like you can squish him.

I don't understand that with the wet look. Like, for people that are moist. Yeah. Because I'm not into like tinctures and stuff that I'm applying to my skin. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, he looks like he just got born or something. Like he's all covered in blaze.

Yeah. Yeah. Just rubbing foreskins on his face. I guess he's going to live forever though. His son is like, you know, like his blood donor. His blood bag. Yeah. Like you remember when Bezos went up on the Blue Origin and he went up with...

And he wore that stupid hat. He went with Shatner. Yeah. Shatner was there and then there was Bezos and then there was this kid, this random kid that looked like a jock, you know, valedictorian and I think that was his blood donor. Who? Bezos? Yeah, I think he's got one too.

What? Really? Yeah, because it is healthy to like get a full blood transfusion Yeah from someone else's young blood That's a thing. It's a real thing this guy. Is this the guy you talking about? This handsome youngish. I this one was there another one. It was one of those That doesn't look like any of the Is that the whole crew? I don't remember. I doubt it. It was a of those, that doesn't look like any of the, is that the whole crew?

I don't remember. I doubt it. It was a pretty young looking kid. That was awesome when Shatner came back and said it sucked. I get space sucks. Dude, no, but I didn't see that. I saw a video clip. A bunch of rocks.

I saw a video clip of William Shatner and he is still elated after having just gotten down and he's having a super profound moment and he's like, as we were flying up and I saw the blue sky turned to black. It was the most incredible experience. And then Jeff Bezos is like, who's got the champagne? And he grabs a bottle and just pops it and shakes it like whoa And Shatner's like cool. You're blowing my mom. Oh, yeah, he like killed it. That's probably why I He didn't seem yeah, he felt I felt like he stepped on Shatner and then Shatner looked kind of like Who is this guy this bozo You just shook open a bottle of champagne?

If she's still wanting you to get up after your performance then you can trip on the hose on the floor So this guy's recommending lots of hose. Hose on the floor? Getting tangled up in hose. Yeah Sounds like a necrocatous place Okay, eventually she'll stop asking you to get up to get the baby. Thanks and congratulations and go fuck yourself. Thank you, more not baby advice. Hey Dick, in light of the questionable advice everyone's giving you, I wanted to write in and thank you for the best advice I received

after having my boys. Don't get them circumcised. Without the Dick Show, I probably would have just done it because that's what everyone does, but instead I was able to defend my boys against their mother and every medical professional that tried to shame me into it Good for that. I'd be glad to hear that. Yeah, me too. What a bunch of bullshit that is like That's what I thought too. And it's just such an indignity

I remember seeing a video of the process and they strap a little baby to a four-point restraint the process and they strap a little baby to a four point restraint with a little velcro or the little tiny four point restraint. And then they put this thing on and the kid just got born. It's horrible. I mean, even if it's for a religious reason, at least they wait like a week before they don't go through the most profound experience you're going to have until you die. And then just cut your dick off for no reason. You get some love, you get some boobs,

you get grandma walking in, you're having some experiences. Yeah, don't strap me to a cross to chop my dick off. I know. What are you talking about? It's an indignity. And it's just like, partly I think it's conservatism. I think some parents, there was a generation,

like maybe my generation, that just didn't wanna talk about penises. And didn't want to have to deal with cleaning a dick. And so it's like, well, the doctor says to cut it off. We were talking about it and I'm like, no, obviously, but you're kind of on your own on an island there because everybody you know in America is circumcised. And she's like, well, you know, what about cleaning it and I'm like look I mean first of all what do you talk you don't know anything about cleaning a dick secondly that's if I'm when I'm

washing my penis that's the best part of the day no matter whatever happens that day no matter how many Trump coins there are that was the best part of the day it's only thing I bother cleaning it's pretty much that's yeah I'll clean that thing in the sink yeah that's how much I need to clean. With the fancy soap, you know, not with the body wash. This is like the hundred dollar thing. And then she's like, well, you know, girls will, they're not gonna like it. I mean, I kind of don't.

That raises so many more questions about what... I had to pull our gay friend, Carl. Let's ask our gay friend. Yeah. He's like, yeah. Topics go all over the place. They do. Okay, let's see.

Without the Dicks Show, I would have just done it because that's what everyone does. But instead, I was able to defend my boys against their mother and everybody. Yeah, I still have a long way to go to raise them right. And I still might fuck it up. But at least I didn't mutilate their dicks on the first days of the earth Cheers and go fuck yourself Dave. A bit of advice keep an eye on your wife. Moms get really squirrely pre and postpartum. Oh really okay like a zombie movie keep an eye on her. She starts to turn. She starts cold sweating midday for no reason. Gotta push her off the balcony. Licking her chops

looking at the baby, you know, gonna eat it. Wait a sec, you're not gonna drown this baby, are you? Tori P says, woman alert, okay. Woman alert. I've been trying to get this girl in the name of my, uh, I've been trying to like this girl in the name of my wiener, but every day she sends me this shit and reminds me why. Okay. She says, this guy's indecipherable. He's got a text with a girl that he likes and she says, oh my god, my friend just called me and on Friday we switched debit cards. And we've been using each other's cards since then.

And didn't even realize until she called me, LUL. You know it's a funny prank if you've got electric blankets for like a king size bed and they have two controllers? It's just switch the controllers to one side of the bed or the other. So then like, you want it cool. Yeah. And you keep fucking turn it down and your wife wants it hot.

Yeah. And she but she's controlling your side. That would be a nightmare. This is terrible. That would be a nightmare. It's funny for whoever's playing that joke. Sean says typical anorexia is also a mental disorder. Is that feeling? No, Sean.

I feel like we just said that. Yeah, probably. Hey, Dick, I'm going to film school. I'm going to Full Sail University in the spring and I would like to collaborate on a mockumentary of Maddox I'd even considered casting you as Maddox like him going to a track meet with children and winning and he celebrates while everyone thinks he's retarded what do you think I think you should finish film school okay Lloyd says working with the best and the brightest. Hey Dick, I just listened to episode 442 and I have a story working with one of these really bright H1B hires. I used to work in a food testing lab where we would make sure that food isn't contaminated

with pathogens like E. coli. It basically involves cutting up raw chicken and beef tongue, placing it into a bag with pep tone water, and then placing that bag into a stomacher to turn the food into a consistency of chicken soup. Oh. A stomacher. Stomacher, that's cool. The bag was then placed into a 37 degree Celsius incubator to promote bacterial growth.

So at the heat, you can imagine the smell that kind of work can produce. I came into work one day, and I met a brand new casual worker from South Asia whose breath smelled so bad, it was by far the worst thing I've ever smelled at that job. Part of the job was making sure that our cutting utensils were sterile.

So before we use them, I would dunk them into a big metal container full of ethanol and set them on fire. What would often happen is that some flaming ethanol would make its way back into the container and the whole thing would catch a light, but it was never a big deal as all you had to do was grab a metal tray and place it on top to kill the flame. When this happened to the new guy, instead of placing the tray on the top, he decided

to pick up the flaming container with his bare hands, take it over the sink, and was going to turn the tap on. Considering that he was a former chemist, I figured he would have known that all he had to do was displace the fire from the container Into the sink and set out and set our pipes on fire. Oh, so he's gonna catch the whole building on fire Okay, he picked up the container again and for whatever reason I don't know place it on the floor Which had very a very strong chance of setting the floor on fire Needless to say he was like, oh and we changed her. Yeah. Okay, so He wasn't a chemist as it turns out.

Okay this is hey Dick look at these sad fucks fighting over Pokemon cards. Okay let's see here. Fighting over Pokemon cards. Fighting over Pokemon cards. Okay. What do we have here? Oh wow, alright. This is a Costco. This is, they're bringing the boom here. Wow. This is they're bringing the boom here.

Elbowing throwing elbows. That's why you make it two-each. Call PD, call PD, man. Wow. I think we could monetize this in some way. You know? Two nerds enter, Battle Royale, Pokemon cards. Illegal Costco fighting ring. Yeah, illegal Pokemon Costco fighting ring. Yeah, illegal Pokemon Costco fighting ring. Well, didn't the Costco guy, the dad, didn't he do kind of backyard amateur wrestling matches? Oh, did he? Yeah, yeah, he did.

Before he got famous for the cookies? Yeah, like Bush League, sort of a B League. Oh, that makes sense. Like the Bakersfield Dodgers. Yeah. He had like a character. What was his character? Isn't his name- Big Justice? the Costco guy is I think big justice is the kid and then there's the Rizler

Who's the Rizzo's that name a kid? Yeah, and then big justice is fat too. I mean they both they're all fat Everyone yeah, but the dad is like beefy dad. Yeah dad bod Yeah, cuz he's he's a pro wrestler I didn't know that that makes a lot of sense couple rounds of juice Yeah, some weightlifting couple rounds of double chocolate big traps. He's got to get AJ on the juice soon I know I hope they don't turn into like goes as epic ads or something. Oh my god. I've got type two diabetes Let's see here I've got type 2 diabetes! 2! 2! Let's see here... 0... yeah...

Furminator says a young kid in the Marines from my hometown was killed on base by one of those Afghan kids that was being raped by a local police chief. Oh yeah, you remember we watched that last week. Oh yeah. Okay, kid went postal. Huh. Shocker. You don't say. And then thanks to Clinton, they disarmed the troops on the base unless they were on duty and their post called for them to be armed. So only the local Afghans were armed. Oh, okay. And then he's got a news article. That's nice. So the kids are getting raped and they took all the guns away from the Marines and then the kids went nuts and

Nope says the guy shitting in his car that Johnny told that's a nightmare scenario Here's another woman alert that we got here Let's see imagine being the guy sending the text to me that says you're gonna love this About that he should in his car. Yeah, and I I went no I'm not gonna love that I hate it in fact I wish you would have never told me okay okay bring in the boom here is a here is a woman wearing nearly nothing while shooting guns I'm'm not really a fan of this kind of content, but she's got her butt cheeks hanging out here. She totally just like misfires.

Oh, have you seen this? I think so. Okay, let's see it. So the firing range. It's a hot round in her drawers. Oh, hot. Right there. Oh no! Oh shit. Right? There's the hot shell.

Oh! Wow, that was a close one. Good thing she didn't hop all the way around. Yeah. Um. Well, that hot foot too, Jesus. Hot foot. They're not that hot. too, Jesus. Hot foot. They're not that hot. No, I'm like shooting straight through your foot.

Yeah, yeah, that would have been bad. I mean, the shells aren't that like shooting your foot off hot. That's a little much. All right, let's see here. Sexy butt gun comes in. Yeah, that's a big... Isn't there that giant redhead lady that

she'll like take, like lay on the ground and shoot a 50 caliber machine gun and and her butt's like bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b wobbling around? She's Zafdig. Okay. She has red hair, looks like a redhead. Yeah. You know, Viking. Yeah. I haven't seen that one. Okay, unplugged Gameboy. Coming out of a funeral for a friend with a bunch of people. Some old people pressed play on my phone and the word looks like a giant dick going up his ass. Blare out my speakers. No idea what you were talking about, but everyone in the car laughed needed it thank you you're welcome okay let's do a very special feature that Johnny Rocket has sent in Oh Johnny are you familiar with him I see his name in the comments sometimes yeah this is this is Maddox is talking about you Johnny and the fires oh I Maddox We all know and love.

Oh, no. I really need a theme song for this. Targeted. But here we go. Happy incoming Martin Luther King Day to all those who celebrate, which is no one who listens to this show. When Sean jumped ship, I thought, great, no more harassment. Or at least less racist harassment.

I was wrong. See? Dick decided to hire a new nut job to co-host this pitiful podcast. For some reason, this new guy, Johnny, has the same bug up his butt with regards to torturing me, I don't like airing out dirty laundry, but unfortunately Johnny has made it a matter of public health. Cause I witnessed him start the LA fires. Oh.

Okay. Damn it, I thought I was alone. It's a revelation that you thought you started the LA fires. Let's hear. Okay, so I'm not a man of means anymore. Yeah, yeah, yuck it up. But once in a while, I can treat myself to some gourmet shit. Well, I tried to treat myself to Buffalo Wild Wings

and get myself a plate of their fantastic spicy Bazinga wings. Before I could have even one of them, a dark figure appeared and helped himself to three of them. I would have yelled at him, but he kind of looks ethnic. I support Black Lives Matter, and I didn't want to turn this into one of those scary situations.

I asked him who he was, and he introduced himself as Johnny, Sean's replacement. Yeah. Okay, all right, okay. You were there for your Bazinga wings? I took three of them. Okay. I tried to make a joke to defuse the situation.

Oh, the dick show has gone woke and replaced the white co-host with a brownish one. But he genuinely shocked me into silence by putting the rest of the wings in the front pocket of his jeans. No Ziploc bag or anything. He just put the sauce covered chicken into his pants like it was normal.

He realized I was taken aback by this and tried to answer my question without me saying anything. He said, oh, Dick will probably want a few of these and I'll be seeing him later Then there was a pause a heavy silence, and then he called me a food cock Did you call him that you call him a food cock you did loudly why you put chicken in your pants like that Well, why why waste the foil you know yeah? I mean I'm gonna get sauce on my pants anyway when I'm eating wings, just pretty sauce.

Yeah, just put some sauce in the pocket. Save the step. No big deal. Okay. Let's see what else happened. The waitress came over and I tried to politely convince her to have the manager or something throw Johnny out. Before I could explain the situation, Johnny began gaslighting her. This waitress has to be the most gullible person in the world because somehow Johnny managed to convince her I was special needs.

Also, that Johnny was my handler and he was in the middle of stopping one of my fits of, and I quote, tard rage. Can you believe she fucking bought that? Did you tell her that? I did. How did you do that? How did you convince her that you were stopping his tard rage?

I just, you know, I kind of brought her in. I was like, look, I'm this guy's handler. He's about to go on a tard rage. Yeah. I had to put his chicken wings in my pants to kind of defuse the situation a bit. Okay. Um, after Johnny got the waitress's phone number, he excused himself to the bathroom and never came back. Which would be fine, except my wallet was gone too. I tried to dine and dash, but of course the waitress was keeping an eye on me because she thought I was special needs.

I decided to play along because I really didn't feel like paying for wings. I didn't even get to touch Mm-hmm I guess I should have gone into acting because the waitress really believed I was retarded as fuck Maybe theater will be my second act Retarded as fuck wow Eventually the Buffalo Wild Wings let me go. I guess they figured you can't hold a mentally challenged person hostage

without it becoming a hate crime. I can only wish the same will be true for the hostages in Palestine. Anyway, I rode my bike home. I fed my pet ant farm some sugar cubes. They are the best friends you can ask for. They are grateful to me. They can never betray me.

They never lie about me. They love candy as much as me. And they can't get anyone pregnant I went to bed hoping for a great night's sleep Wrong a bright orange light poured through my window a familiar figure was standing next to a burning cross. No not Sean It was Johnny this time. Oh No burning cross that seems like a bit much for any situation, you know random other things to burn. Let's see what you were thinking. I called the cops on Johnny for coming onto my private

property to do a hate crime. Not to be a bitch, I also went outside to confront him. I told him the cops were on their way, and when Sean did this, the cross was taller. Johnny tried to get the exact dimensions of Sean's cross for next time I guess, but I wouldn't tell him. Johnny's was pitifully one fourth the height of a Parthenon. Johnny coped that Sean didn't leave behind schematics and blueprints for this part of the job

The cops showed up and they turned out to be worse than useless see while I am a minority a proud Armenian Johnny is Browner. He's Somalian. So Johnny convinced the cops. I was the one who set the cross on fire I look white and the cops didn't want a Black Lives Matter situation. As the cops arrested me, Johnny went into my house and then left with my ant farm. I saw him mouth the words, ant cock. As I was police brutalized, I begged that they put out the fire. But they assured me the lesbian fire department would handle it just fine. We all know how that turned out.

They did a great job and ultimately, the blood is on your hands, Johnny. Give me back my ants, then kill yourself. Oh wow all over the Buffalo Wild Wings prank thing huh? Well I pranked him and then lit LA on fire. Oh okay. It was just like I'm just a bad guy all around. I can't believe it that it was related to the show. Okay Alex you are you have been painting dutifully this whole time. What can you tell us about this masterpiece this well? Yeah The before we got we got the after yeah, it's kind of a little shot We got we got your you on mic here kind of gesturing a little dick show in the background Yes, oh my god, and so, you know, I'm gonna I'll sign it and you can have it as like a

Parting gift. I can't believe that I love this so much. Thank you so much fun You know, it's kind of wonky and wacky. Yeah beautiful and yet it's capturing something about the experience here So, how did you how did you get into painting banks on fire? Like I know the I know the I remember the time I remember the time of the the bailouts and the anger around the bailouts But what was it that made you go like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna go definitely say I don't know if you've ever heard of a guy named max kaiser Who does? He's a bitcoin guy. He's kind of always in el salvador now. Yeah, he started doing a show I think back in 2008

And uh kind of right around when the bailouts were happening. And I would definitely say that getting turned on to his show and watching his show totally radicalized me, as far as just the news and the stories and explaining what was happening with the economy and the bailouts and all this crap that we're still suffering under. Way back in the day, he was all about,

buy silver, crash JP Morgan. Yeah, I remember the silver stuff. That didn't work. Somehow, JP Morgan had a short position on silver, and so they encouraged everyone to just buy silver, and it didn't work. Because they just lied about how much silver they had. I know, and then there's ATF lied about how much silver they know and then the ETF

So how you lie about gold and silver? Yeah, because the comics continue considers Transacting of ETFs paper gold and paper silver as like real ounces Yeah, and so it's just counterfeit fake paper silver and yet it affects the market, you know and They'll definitely the same thing will happen with the Bitcoin ETF. I mean, they're gonna run the same type of situation. It's crazy times. But so yeah, like plein air, I always have done plein air.

I love plein air painting. That's outside painting. That means you're painting outside. Yeah. That's all that means. And I like painting from life. You know, I know how to work from photos in the studio and I do often, you know, but I was like,

what could I do to really like express how pissed off I was at the banks? And I was like doing a lot of plein air painting. And it was actually in the neighborhood of the artists we were talking about earlier. Yeah. You guys were talking about earlier. Yeah You guys were talking let's paint mr. Let's paint the best Yeah, it was like kind of around the corner from where he lives Okay, and I did a chase bank on fire set up the easel right across the street

Yeah, I was out there for probably three four hours total in any given painting plein air You can only really work for three or four hours because the Sun goes okay I mean if it's overcast all day It's kind of the same but if you got light and shadow the Sun going from here to here just changes everything yeah, you know, it's new shadow take a photo work on it at home and Someone from the bank obviously got Worried, you know and I was right there At a bus stop.

People would get off, they'd laugh, they'd look and tell me some story about how their grandma got screwed out of their house or whatever. Yeah, screw those banks. And, but then the cops came and they wrote up an incident report. I coughed up my ID.

I probably didn't, you know, obviously I didn't have to. But then three weeks after that is when I had officers come to my studio, knock on the door in Eagle Rock. I worked at home because I'm a painter and so I'm answering the door in my underwear, basically. One cop standing to the side of the door knocking, another cop off the property on the sidewalk just asking questions.

I think they had to. I think that they were, they had to follow through on it. And I know for a fact that Chase Bank freaked out way bigger than they let on. Oh really? Yeah, like I heard a story years later. A friend of mine runs the Hive Gallery in downtown. He's on his 20th year running that gallery.

And he's from Ohio. And so a friend of his who's from Ohio was visiting and staying with Nathan. And so he worked in Cleveland. And it's like the second biggest branch office of Chase Bank is like, besides the one in New York is something like it's in Cleveland. And somewhere in Ohio.

And Nathan was like, dude, you gotta beat this guy Schaefer. He painted the banks on fire. And this guy was like a VP level kind of, they probably have a lot of VP. Yeah, yeah. But he was up in there and he worked at the head office and he's like, no way! He's like, they sent out an email

to the whole global email. Really? Shit. With links and a picture. And they're like, be on the lookout for this guy. If you see this person, call the police. Do not interrupt. Why? I don't know.

And I feel like they, you know, because I've had artists, I've known artists that do paintings of like logos and stuff. Yeah. And they actually have gotten in trouble and so they stop painting They get like I see they get like target will tell them don't do it. You can't paint that. Yeah, this guy I know who's a big LA painter shit. The name is just escaping me and He does a lot of just kind of urban landscape scenes of like a Denny's at night and they're beautiful incredible And as you do any Waffle House like fight scenes that would be it's mostly just kind of like moody

Nightscapes and whatever but he'll change the logo it look like Waffle House, right, but you won't be able to read it It'll be like if AI dispelled it. Okay, you know where it's like Yeah, and it's yellow and white so you recognize it it's like, yeah, and it's yellow and white. So you recognize it. But because someone someone from like Walmart or something said, you can't do that. Yeah. But I've never had them come at me for use for painting their logos all the time. I would think well, I would think the VPs would like kind of love it.

I don't know if that's I guess now because it's been it's been enough time has passed. And I'm so bad at keeping track and records of where all my paintings are. I mean, I've sold tons of paintings are all over the world. I've sold them through galleries and to good collections and auctions with Bitcoin. They are kind of spread out. They're very spread out, you know, and. And, you know, I just if it's if they start to auction again like they start appearing in auctions Mm-hmm, and then it's the secondary art market. Who knows, you know, like maybe some banker will buy it

Yeah, like as a joke. Yeah, I would think there's nothing I can do about it would love it, too The Bitcoin community loves me. Yeah, and they had that I've been I've done a bunch of auctions with Bitcoin collectors They love collecting they are collectors Yeah, you know that's the thing is like back in the let's say the days of Picasso and Matisse And you could still get a Picasso or a Matisse for not that much money. You know the big collectors were all pharmaceutical guys Oh really they were big money new money new money in like petroleum based pharmaceuticals. You know, and some guy in Russia that was buying a lot. So I feel like the crypto, not crypto, I feel like the Bitcoin community is kind of like the money.

There's some of these people that have so much money and they they have the collecting gene It's like they're not big on like gambling either like all the shit coins and other More the the yeah the crypto coins they like gambling. Yeah, cuz you could make money gambling Yeah, you know and if you're on it and you know how to read the charts You can almost just guarantee that you're gonna yield get yield all the time. Mm-hmm you know, but so it's been quite an adventure and you know, I'm not in LA, I'm down in San Diego. You're down in San Diego. So it's a different vibe. You know, LA definitely... I think my house is burning down. Uh-oh. It wasn't me.

I got an alibi. What? What is it? Oh, for the pizza. Oh no, is it pizza? It's not even burning. It's just the cast iron. It's burning the house down?

It's just the cast iron. The cast iron's heating up. Oh yeah. I hear foot, feet running around. Yeah. That's my lovely assistant. Turning the smoke alarms off. So yeah, I mean mean I just love coming back

to LA and you still go out and are you still painting banks on fire? I am. You are? Where's the next one? How do you pick the next bank on fire? Well I want to do a bunch of small ones because I've got a gallery that is in New Orleans. Okay. It did really well. I took five of my pieces out to Miami, where the big shows are in December. And so smaller pieces, like I'm gonna do four like 16 by 12s. Like kind of like the size of the painting

from Dr. Strangelove. Oh yeah, I love that one. It's at the Framestore. What is the line? He's like, well, it The, what is the line? He's like, well, it's the scene where the phone call with President Merkin Muthley is talking to the Russian guy. Yeah.

Hello, Dimitri. Yeah. Hello. Of course, this is a friendly call. If it wasn't a friendly call, you probably wouldn't have gotten it. He's like, now something's gone funny about one of our base commanders Well, you know funny and he did a silly thing He shot one of our missiles and he said so he when

George C Scott's character hears the president say I'm gonna help you shoot this guy down. Yeah, that's when he's like fuck Just it's such a great and that's one of my favorite I'm going to help you shoot this guy down. Yeah. That's when he's like, the fuck? Just it's such a great. That's one of my favorite. What do you think is going to happen now with the I mean, what do you think about like the the synthesis of art and memes and tokens in the in the digital era? Like, because you're you're all I mean, you're all traditional paints, but yeah, you clearly appreciate. I mean, I've done some NFTs and there's still people to this day that like give you shit for that.

Yeah. They really hate it. And it's really crazy. And there's people that are much more egregious violations of NFTs. So I did it. But for me, at the end of the day, I won't do anymore. You won't do anymore? No. Because a painting is an NFT. What if they would call it like a when you want to define to someone what is non fungibility? Yeah, one of the examples is a painting. Yeah, another example would be like a treasured watch. Yeah, you know, I can give you a 20 you don't have to give me the same 20 back right? That's fungible. If I loan you my you my watch I want the same watch some watch back I want there's only one painting yeah, and so for digital art nft makes perfect sense because it's a way to create a

Singular that can be collected in an era where you can just copy paste and it's like I stole your nft gotik Control V. They love that they They think that's so funny. Control V. Sealing it. Yeah. So, but I think that painting is, it's going to be weird. You know, I mean, it's long since lost its wow factor.

Yeah. What do you think about like all this? Because everyone always says it's like fraud. There's, it's all money laundering. The giant, expensive paintings. There is a big market I mean I would ever since the CIA got involved in American art starting in the 40s and the 50s and then Well into the 70s. I don't think we've gotten the art that we needed as a people because of the CIA's influence

Yes, yeah, they were about deconstruction. They were about dismantling the Renaissance. Kind of taking apart, picture making, eliminating the object, eliminating light, making it all about area, brush strokes, space, you know. And it was to the detriment of what they call American regionalism or American scene painting, which was like Grant Wood, Thomas Hart Benton, you know, like a Mexican version would be Diego Rivera. Okay, they were like socialists They were painting the American scene farmers and laborers and The CIA didn't like it. They just forced them out with money.

Also, like, you know, the space program was a way for America to express American exceptionalism. You know, and going to the moon was an expression of American exceptionalism. And deconstructed abstract expressionism was another way to say the Soviet Union is in the past. They were... Can you explain that more? Deconstructed... Well, deconstruction was like a period that started kind of like with Marcel Duchamp in

1913. Okay. The ready-made, the toilet statue. It's about eliminating subject matter and making painting or an art just about the materials in the process and right, and getting them, you know, don't you don't paint things, you know, you paint abstraction. Okay. And so, you know, some of the first deconstruction was like, well, we're, you know, the drawing is not as good. Or, you know, it's just about, you know, there's no contrast. And I mean, like

to express form and volume and light and things like that, you know. And there was a long period where they played that out, you know, starting with in the 40s With the the first generation abstract expressionist I would have loved to have seen Jackson Pollock if he'd lived because I think he would have returned to Figuration to like I'm looking at a picture of something. Yeah This was a phase. Yeah, he pushed it to the limit His he was a student of Thomas Hart Benton Okay, who was one of these American regionalists scene painters, you know And so he so I think it would have been fascinating for him to have watched him

go and and re engage with form and You know Like some artists never left it like de Kooning. He still kind of painted like nudes even though they would just look like like de Kooning. He still kind of painted like nudes, even though they would just look like you know he still would call it nude four. Okay. And there was still like a launching off point of looking at the world, reacting, reflecting to the world. You know what de Kooning looks like. There's a Matisse quote where he says, people like to think of painting as an appendage of literature and therefore wanted to express not general ideas suited to pictorial means but literary ideas

Literary ideas the literary idea and the literary person has totally taken over the art school Conceptual art okay is literary art its ideas. Okay versus what? versus pictorial art, which is about depicting, and it's about the world. The literary art, that's where you end up with conceptual art. Why do you think that's happened?

Well, I think at the beginning- And there's a lot of backlash to that too. People kind of scoff at abstract, even the nature of abstract painting. Now it's gone full circle. Okay. And I think that in the beginning, it like I said American exceptionalism Then they realized they could make a shit ton of money. Yeah out of the process and now You know like

Who's the guy? Sachi Charles Sachi he created his own pump-and-dump art scene, Right. He's a big ad guy in England. Yeah. He created YBA. He made a bunch of guys famous. Young British Art, which was art in the 90s. Damien Hirst came out of it. Tracy M. There was some big names and then there's a lot of duds.

Yeah. And, but he, he made that happen. Like as a, as a wealthy advertising guy. Yeah. He created a scene and then he monetized it, made a lot of money and then all the paintings that he would never be able to sell, they all miraculously ended up in a warehouse

that caught on fire. So it's perfect. You insure them for whatever the last hammer price was. You're never gonna get that hammer price ever again. That's what you insure them for whatever the last hammer price was you're never gonna get that hammer price ever again Yeah, that's what you insured it for yeah, the whole thing was just a froth in the art in the auction markets Then you just burn them up. Well. Where do you think? What do you think the American because I it does feel like we're entering a new age of American exceptionalism Like all of the stuff that we've been dealing with for 20 years or 40 years all the dei shit all this stuff that

Doesn't matter and is not fun and it's like kind of a self punishing, you know, like a say to masochistic urge to just demone Americans and demone ourselves or Castigate ourselves. It feels like we're shedding that and launching into this which you know trumps the vehicle But I mean, I'm like goofing around like Trump's the greatest guy in the world But he's just like a con artist from the 80s right what do you think the genuine? Birth of American exceptional art is going to come from and what is it gonna look like moving forward? Cuz it's changing man. You can feel it changing. don't feel illegal. For the first time in my entire life, I don't feel like I'm doing something illegal vis-a-vis

like crypto, bitcoins. The SEC can be randomly punishing to anybody on the blockchain, no matter what you're doing, because the technology is necessarily a security. Every single part of it is an unregistered security. I have a company, I've spent the last two years working on a company on Solana that tokenizes graded collectible cards. So you send us like a Charizard PSA 10, right? We store it in a vault, we give you an NFT.

Then you can do whatever you want with the NFT. And there's no laws governing this. It's the kind of thing where, that's why I'm so hype on the Solana stuff. Solana's onboarding 500,000 users in like a trillion dollars. This is great for me. But this is, but now, I feel like that's just business now. Like this is like part of being an American,

is this kick-ass business that we're doing. In line with that, what do you think, what do you think the future of American art, or at least the immediate future of American exceptionalism in art will be? You know, it's not going to come out of... I mean, I could say where it won't happen is it won't happen in the sort of zombified markets that have existed since like the late 70s, early 80s. Like art gallery stuff?

Yeah, like big, big New York art galleries that don't deal with anything under $50,000. Okay. It's kind of like, it's a way to get a tax write-off. You knowhmm, you know and you work with a gallery and you work with a bank and you work with a image consultant Yeah, or like a regional museum You know and you buy a painting for fifty thousand dollars then you donate it to the museum Mm-hmm, and then you get like a big tax write-off. Yeah But I don't know I mean I am a painting supremacist.

So like when I think of art, I think of painting. You think of painting. If someone says art, that's the first that's what pops starts popping into my mind is paintings. Yeah. And painting has just gotten written off as like dead so many times, you know, I think that it's maybe more at risk than ever of kind of being forgotten about

because the pads and the digital stuff, they're getting so close to painting. But there is a particular language to paint that is totally different. It's not light. you know, whereas television is light, shining at your eye. And a painting is always reflected light. It's like the moon. You can't see the moon without light, you know, whereas the sun is like, shining light

like a television screen. So I'm curious to see where painting goes. I feel like the materials are at the worst quality they've ever been since I've been painting. Really? 35 years. Which I think is like difficult for maybe younger kids to get into. I've done some teaching like at let's say a high school, local-hmm local areas now and then I'll do like a little demo or something and the materials are so bad

It's cheap like super cheap terrible like I mean I can I'm familiar with paint I can do something with it, but it's like somebody trying to tell you to play golf with a twig Yeah, you know maybe Tiger Woods could do pretty well something with it, but it's like somebody trying to tell you to play golf with a twig. Yeah. You know, maybe Tiger Woods could do pretty well. Yeah. Okay, with a golf club with a twig. There is this rot in every single thing we touch. Every tactile sensation we have is just destroyed by cheapness.

I blame inflation. They got to just keep things cheap. So the food is worse. Yeah. You know, the quality of... The women are just atrocious. Ugh! You know?

Yeah. I mean, I haven't thought about that. I'm kind of like just a cat guy. I think about it all the time. This is terrible. What we're giving these kids. And it was bad when I was a kid. I feel sometimes like

everyone got sold a big bill of goods. Yeah. With the whole, how do we continue to extend and pretend a system that's bound to fail? Uh-huh. Let's. You know, like, are women happier in society? Because when I was a kid, like. That's a hell of a metric. I don't know if I want to I don't know if I want to see that index I know and that's the thing is like is society better off because We have women have to work to be able to just barely and what is work? It's your life and screwing around and I just think it's a shame that it's that like people kind of

I just think it's a shame that it's that like people kind of Disparage motherhood or whatever. I think it's changing with a certain generation, but definitely I mean, I'm like an old I'm gen X Yeah, I think I'm older than you. Yeah, probably you're like in your 30s Uh, no, I'm 44. Okay, I was born in 80 1980 I remember 1980 I was born in 80. 1980. 1980, I remember 1980. I was born in 69. Oh, okay. So, yeah. And I don't know, it's funny,

I'll like get an old magazine, find an old magazine from the 70s and you just look at real estate prices or like a menu from 1977. Yeah. Oh my God, how did this happen? This was amazing. 2% inflation really catches up after all.

I remember having a minimum wage job when I was 16 and feeling nothing about buying like some tacos and now as an adult I'm going, Jesus. Everything is like airport prices. Everything's airport prices. Yeah. It would always be, you go to an airport and everything is like insanely expensive and tiny And now it's kind of like everywhere you go is really expensive. Have you seen the Not a fan. Have you seen the

Like I think people aren't having kids because everyone's broke. I know and like global is misanthropic and is a sign of a Economy that is built to fail. Yeah. That should be never crossing anybody's mind that they can't afford to have a child. No, especially here. I totally resent anybody who says that. You know, and it was like funny in the beginning of Idiocracy when you had that montage.

You know what I'm talking about? It's not time to have kids right so you have the educated Husband and wife that are making all the right decisions. They're like, I don't know the housing prices It's not a good time right now. And then there's like Cletus Yeah, and his next-door neighbor and he's just like his family tree is like Yeah, and he he doesn't, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, bo Or you have to like live like on a farm or something. There's, well there's this weird like, I mean I don't say this as a pejorative, but there's this weird like neo-fascist movement that's defined by this obsession with procreation beyond anything else. Like they're kind of reverting to this trailer trash like way of looking.

Like they're trying to condition themselves into not giving a fuck about their kids like we just need to Knock these kids out and somehow that's gonna prevail and it's very it's very bizarre I've never gotten a vibe like this from human beings let alone Americans in my entire life and it gets it gets bigger and bigger every year Because they do want they want a family and kids. I mean, most people do, almost everybody does. But it's weird to see, cause it's not working. I know.

Whatever they're doing. You know what I'm talking about, Johnny, like the Nick Puentes crowd, when they're all like, they're all in an auditorium cheering about knocking women up, but there's no women there. They're not, there's no women there. They're not There's no kids there either Yeah, it's like a sausage party it's a big-time sausage party we went to a m'lady rave

a while ago the m'lady's the Is that like the hat tipping guy? It is yeah He's the hat tip They have they have a racist collection of NFTs I guess I don't know why they're racist like no one's ever explained to me, but everyone hates them and they don't care So it's awesome like they embody that we don't like they all talk exactly the same they have the same amount of politeness and like Respect for each other like this welcoming is and they all it's like talking to a hive mind every time you deal with them They're like, uh-huh. Thank you. Milady. Yes, of course. Well, we'll be waiting there sir. Like they're all anonymous. They're they're really funny

That's fucking good. Yeah, it's funny They're really funny. That's fucking good. Yeah, it's funny. Anyway, I don't know. Can we see the... Oh, there it is. Have you ever thought of doing a Bob Ross but with hating the government kind of painting show?

Bob Ross is the gateway drug to painting. He is great. Apparently there's a documentary that came out about him recently that I haven't watched. It's sad. That's why I'm afraid to watch it because it's like the guy probably just got fucked over and screwed out by a bunch of chisllers.

Chisllers is what I would call them. Like screwing him out of his birth, not his birthright, but his earning. You know, his name. Yeah, his name. Everything he built. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I am a big Bob Ross fan. Yeah. And I always watched that show when I was a kid.

And sometimes I really think like looking at what Bob Ross is doing is, is it sometimes looking at, at the way the old masters painted, You know, just because a painting is 400 years old doesn't mean that the guy didn't maybe do part of it in an hour, you know? And the way that, let's say, Peter Paul Rubens would command a studio, and he would have studio assistants, and Rubens would draw the main character,

draw the lines, block in, you know, Aphrodite and the main scene. And then he'd leave it up to his assistants to do some of the background. And so like, oh, we're going to paint a little background here. And they just kind of do, do, do, pluff, pluff, pluff, and kind of just push it in. And watching Bob Ross do that, it kind of demystifies it. Yeah. Do you ever do, do you ever want to do that with like a big demystifies it. Yeah. You know, do you ever do?

Do you ever want to do that with like a big studio and wear like a cape and stuff and I lost people around? I mean, the thing about it, like live like Bitcoin conferences. I've done like live, you know, paintings. Yeah. All over the place. I've done like people's weddings. That's cool. Like at like at the Hive Gallery in downtown for years

when I was living in the same building is on seventh and spring You know, he'd have a big opening every once a month and I would just do like five-minute portraits people just kind of line up You know goofy portraits, yeah But you just to do Bob Ross you really got to commit to the bit. You know it's like I'm too like I want to wander around I want to try this approach I want to try this approach yeah you know and he's like but committing to the bit like that's old master painting.

This is how we mix flesh tones in this studio. White plus yellow ochre in the lights, you add a little bit of Venetian red in the half tones, burn umber and burnt sienna for the shadows. Boom, there's no exploration, there's no like the impressionist, there's no searching for the colors. It's like this is it. So you make skin tone. Boom, boom, boom, boom. What are the, you know,

because that was depicting. I mean they lived in a time where handmade objects, uh, you know, were the only pictures we had. Yeah. You know, so it's like you came you had to have a formula for it. Yeah Do you have any advice for young artists? There's always oh man at this point I would probably say don't go to art school not that advice that no one ever wants that advice That is the worst advice. I think to go to any college now. Oh going to art school. Yeah, like okay Everything you need to know you can learn on your own There's no need to go to art school at this point. Yeah, you know, what do you do then? Well, I Hopefully you make yourself employable as an artist, okay, especially in the beginning, okay, you know, so learn Photoshop

Become good at You know skills like I feel like someone who knows how to edit video It's kind of like someone that's gonna have a job in the modern Yeah, because there's always gonna be people that are making content that aren't gonna figure out fiber though They aren't gonna figure out how to learn to edit. Yeah, everything's getting it sucks And everything like every part of the these guys are in creative fields. Sean, you know, the other audio engineer, he worked in he worked in Hollywood.

He worked for Netflix. So much of what they do is just sent overseas. Yeah, I know. Impossible. That's how it was with SpongeBob. I remember I couldn't believe it, but I knew a guy that worked at Nickelodeon and So there was a whole team of guys that would do the backgrounds for spongebob Yeah So they would paint in Burbank all these backgrounds in the studio with American artists

And then they would send all those boards to Korea and a Korean artist would repaint all of them It's gotta stop. They they looked exactly yeah like this perfect Symmetry yeah of the backgrounds and I was like kidding like they pay you guys to paint these beautiful Backgrounds and then they send them all over to Korea and they and a Korean artist repaints all of them still beautifully It's I mean, isn't it crazy crazy? I never hear Hollywood people going, this is absolutely, this is appalling that you guys are just sending all this money. But this is our money. We deserve that money. Fuck the AI shit. Give me the money.

Looks like all the time, you hire a session player for something, and then you watch the producer go off and chop all the notes to a grit. It's like, well, if you're going to just have everything be exact anyway, why don't you just punch all the notes in? Oh, we have it snapped. Yeah, you just like, OK, cool. That was a great. The thing you did was so great. Now we're going to go ahead and make it robot.

Yeah, thanks. Cool. OK, let's see the can we see the oh, yeah, the final painting. Thank you so much for coming in, Alex. I know you got to. Oh, yeah, that's amazing. What am I, Johnny, what am I saying in that? You're saying, can you believe that I missed out on all this generational wealth? Oh, don't remind me about the generational wealth

that I missed out on! Look at that. No! That looks exactly like the whole thing. This is terrible! It does look like the way. It's good. I'm thinking about the well. Ah!

Speaking of, what's in the... Yeah. You wanna bust open my Pokemon cards? I'm, well I know we talked- Veno dropped a ball. He dropped a ball. Not only did not enough people spend enough money. Yeah.

Which, you know, you would think, considering his penchant for raising the prices. Yeah, you would think that he would- that he would do that. But I know we did talk about it on this show. But I mean, it is funny to make him make money. You want to do it? I don't know. It's up to you. Anyway, that's the show. Everybody. Alex, thank you so much for coming in. This is fun. I like working in these tight quarters, too. I could talk about art with you All day it would probably be very very satisfying to me you probably not so much because I have to Google everybody that you're talking While you're talking about it. Yeah

Right, cun cun cun cun Dean Coons. Yeah, I know Dean Coons Decooning decooning Willemooning. William De Kooning? He was one of the abstract expressionists. Okay. There is a video. It's a famous auction that a guy named Bob Skull, who bought Deep and Heavy into the into like Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg. He was buying Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg's when they were like 500 bucks.

And then there was this famous auction in the 70s where the CIA pumped that room and they just threw fucking money. That seems like the test run too. Went crazy. And Rauschenberg was at that auction as like a guy who'd been selling his paintings to Bob Skull for 500 bucks. Like decent money back then, but not $30,000.

So then Bob Rauschenberg literally fucking grabs Bob Skull after the auction by the back of his jacket, spins him around and it almost looks like they're gonna get in a fight. He's like, you're fucking telling me you were paying this much for these and you just sold them for 50, 30, 40, $50,000. Fuck you. And you're screaming at him and Bob's like, take it easy, Bob. I made you. I just made you, kind of saying that, you know. And Robert Rauschenberg wouldn't let him go. He actually tried to sue Skull for the arbitrage between what he sold his paintings for and

what they auctioned for. And he lost. And he didn't push the case because he realized, ah, okay, he did make me. Yeah. Because he set that price point. And now when people come to my studio, they're paying $20,000 instead of $500. Yeah. And then he was like anointed, you know?

And that shit is like... Well, the CIA did that for all the tech companies, too. They're going around... Probably. ...founding, going around pounding Google, and here's a bunch of cash. Elon's been posting this picture of him and Bezos at like an Epstein fundraising event.

Like, oh wow, okay. That's great. So that money meant what exactly? Like nothing? We need a digital version of Kim Jones' The Mudman. Yeah, what's that? He knows. What's The Mudman? I know, Yeah, what's that? He knows. What's the mud man?

Yeah, what is that? It was the Kim Jones thing where he had his assistants cover him in like mud and sticks and dog shit and he walked barefoot from Santa Monica all the way to downtown and documented it. But then he would start showing up at art galleries as the mud man, so everyone's around in like nice suits and stuff and he's like. And he's wearing and he's wearing them well he would start touching people and

getting mud dog shit hand prints on it so it's like you think you're going to this nice art gallery ah here comes the mud man and it's oh wow okay patreon.com slash the dick show dick touch you I'll see you guys next Tuesday thank you for tuning in thank you again Alex this Alex. This is marvelous. Yeah, enjoy it. I'm gonna hang it over my bed. There you go. Ready Thanks for watching!