The Dick Show - Episode 452 - Dick on Drug-Head

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Funko Pops ruin my marriage, mistakes in sharing a TV show, Florida goes after the Tates, transgender mice, rewarding teachers, a listener's wife nearly blows up their house, a woman gets both of her hands bitten off playing with a shark, pimps, banks, and credit card caps, Canada bans whiskey--again, and Eric July writes an essay about me; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Price is right. This is my show. Yeah, there we go. Okay, you're recording. We're recording. I had nothing planned for the day Neither did I certainly not Not such a glory really not maniacal laughter Eric Jalali find Eric's post. Oh, he's you know, he said he wasn't gonna talk about me anymore You know, that's the famous't gonna talk about me anymore. You know, that's the famous last words, right? I've never heard someone say that and stick to it. I wish I could quit me, but you know,

too many people rely on me. But you can quit me, you know, anybody else can quit me. Anybody else can. Sean can quit me, and my family can quit me, but I can't quit me. Eric Jalak could definitely quit me. Maddox could certainly quit me, but they can't quit me. Eric Jalak could definitely quit me. Maddox could certainly quit me, but they don't. And I don't know why.

I think Sean has been the only successful person to quit you. No, I've had a number of people quit me that won't be contacting me again. I've been around for a long enough time. It's like being a vampire, you know? Just live long enough to watch all your friends die. Yeah, that's me. Every generation. Here's the, here's the, I don't know, some sort of an out, some sort of a moment that Eric is, Eric is running, Eric has tried really hard to have a, to debunk the narratives and set the record straight for his cowardly police calling

and failure to testify in the Riley trial. Eric put out a, Eric put out a 29 minute video that he said he spent 20 minutes making, a real off the cuff kind of video. That's impressive. Isn't it? There was like, he managed to generate nine minutes. Nine minutes extra content.

No pauses at all. He's talking like the Micro Machine Man where he debunks all these myths floating around like that he's a bitch and that he can't talk, that he can't read and his comics suck. You know, there's no- I think it's getting to him. Yeah, no better way to disprove that you're a bitch

than make a half hour video about it. Myth, I am a bitch. Myth debunked. Fact number two. Fact number two. And he goes into, he immediately lies with the, I only spent 20, I only spent 20 minutes. I only spent 20 minutes on this video. 29 minutes.

Like, okay, so you're already lying. That's a bad, for no reason. There was no reason to say, there was no reason to pre-prove how not mad you are. You're making the video, you're obviously mad, which is fine. I don't really care if you're mad, right? You're making the video. But don't lie right off the bat. And then of course it's a series of additional lies.

Riley's lawyers called in and they said, yeah, he was subpoenaed by the state. I remember that. Because he was the victim. He was crying about it, sending the cops tons of emails about how Riley's a criminal menace to society and his employees, and he's terrified for their safety, and Riley's gonna rape all the women and turn them out into only fans, prostitutes like Andrew Tate. That's what Riley's gonna do, so Eric's got to get the Plano Police Department, the Collier County Police Department,

to rough up this young man, stop his malicious comedy. up this young man, stop his malicious comedy. His legally actionable comedy. His legally actionable comedy threats. You gotta get, get on in here and get this boy with his novelty scissors, get him out of here, right? That's what he did. And then the cops showed up, sure enough, they arrest Riley.

They arrest Riley for doing additional comedy. And then the state says, hey, Eric, why don't you come testify in the, cause you were raped here, or almost raped, or whatever happened to you that was traumatic. And you're the number one witness, so why don't you come testify? And Eric dodges the call.

He doesn't answer the call. Several of his employees, this was on January 2nd. The date of the notice is January 2nd. It says, come on in and testify. Be here, it says in big capital letters. Summons says, be here, big capital letters. On January 21st, today is January 2nd, all your employees got served at the warehouse,

they showed up, served you, left a notice, it says please call this number, right? That's how service works. Usually you don't try to dodge a service when you're the victim, right? Cause you're the one that decided to press, you're the one that said, hey government, go get that guy, he sucks, I hate him, get him and bring him to court. And then they say, okay, we that decided to press. You're the one that said, hey government, go get that guy. He sucks.

I hate him. Get him and bring him to court. And then they say, okay, we brought him to court. Can you testify? So the judge can you, oh, I don't, what do you mean? I thought you would take care of all that. It's not how... The stream went down?

Oh shit. The internet's down? Is it? Okay, let me see. Really? It's down? Is it? Okay, let me see. Really? It went down? It went down, okay. Oh, now it seems to be back.

Thank you. She can move even being so pregnant. She can move on down here. We got got by the liars and impliers, man. The liars and impliers. What is Eric exactly? He's a looter and polluter. I think he's a looter and polluter. He's polluting the comic book space for sure. Is this up? Are we up?

I hate having my groove interrupted. I'm like, Emperor Cusco. Interrupt my groove like that. You gotta get it back. I gotta get my groove back. I love that movie. It's a great movie. Emperor's New Groove, and the cartoon was also fire.

Similarly, the cartoon was fire. I can't wait to watch cartoons with my son. That's gonna be cool. My son, this is the Smurfs, okay? This is the Smurfs. Gargamel, he's a real piece of shit. He's not trying to eat these fuckers. he's trying to turn them into gold, okay? They're gonna, somebody, a showrunner fucks it up around season three or something. Remember when Smurfette was brunette?

That was when she was evil. Yeah. Because Gargamel made her to be evil, just like God made Eve to be evil. Yes, it was in her name. It was an important aliqu evil. Yes, it was in her name. It was an important allegory. Evil, oh, yeah. So the cops said, Eric, why don't you come on by, testify against Riley, because you said you had to do all this

to protect your employees. And Eric said, no. You'd think he'd be waiting by the door for this. I would be. Yeah. If I was afraid of getting raped, I would be. Here's your chance to get back. So then Eric made a big cope,

a 30 minute cope video in 20 minutes minutes and we've been making fun of it Everyone's been making fun of it and then Today just a couple of minutes ago. He posted this gigantic wall of text about me. Look I'm not done scrolling I'm not done scrolling What did I do? I just said your comics suck! That's all! I said your comics are shitty! Oh, that's not what he said back.

He had a lot more words than... I reviewed your comic. I said it doesn't have basic storytelling elements like plot, tone, save the cat stuff, you know what they Speaking of save the cat I watched the brutalist. Oh, how was that? well The whole movie made me uncomfortable very uncomfortable, but I noticed that it has like instead of save the cat They have like saved a black guy in Academy Award movies like movies that are out for Academy Awards

And I don't want to go all Kanye here, but the whole as soon as I saw that I'm thinking Did I just see a save the black moment like it happens right when the hero saves a cat to indicate that he's a hero pulls Out of a tree swerves his car to save that's like a a movie telling, that's like a storytelling device, right? Firefighter pulling, cutting a black guy down from a tree? Yes, that's what it was in The Brutalist. It was, he like comes over and he like gives a black guy part of his sandwich or something right at that moment when they're first introducing Adrian Brody and I said, what are these, wait a minute, what's happening?

Am I seeing, I'm like, where are my sunglasses, where are my They Live sunglasses? I need to put them on, this is too much noticing. I'm like, where are my, where are my sunglasses, where are my They Live sunglasses? I need to put them on. This is too much noticing. I'm noticing, that's too much. I know that's too much. And then my mind's like, this is meant to be an Academy Award winning movie,

and this is a message to the, this is a message to the Academy, and the more evolved form of story, Save the Cat has turned into Save the Black. I'm like, I gotta, I gotta get out of this. I can't, I can't sober up fast enough. I gotta get, where's my sunglasses? I'm not putting Save the Black in my head

as a storytelling device that I need to be on the lookout for in cinema, but they're doing this to me because that's what it's saying. That's the messaging. That's the message that it's saying right now. I know it. Get, abort, abort. Put on something else

We got to look at it, too What if that sandwich sucked so bad Adrian Brody was trying to fuck that guy over? I mean, I hope that's the case I hope he wasn't I really hope that pulling a black guy out of a tree does not become a staple of Hollywood storytelling Although I'm kind of worried about that it will. We'll see the black guy went to save the cat in the tree. He got stuck. He got stuck mysteriously and then the firefighter had to come cut him down.

Sorry that I'm so amped up everyone. It's just like, this is what I do, you know? This is not what I do. This is what I do. This I'm gonna, my son's gonna come to me one day and say, daddy, what do you do for work? Daddy, what do you really do for work? And I'm gonna pull up some tweet that some retard

has just made that's 5,000 words spurging out about me. And I'm gonna say all right documentary Another documentary that some fucking moron says oh, this is gonna be the documentary that gets him first of all. I'm gonna put Everything in the documentary all the little shit all the big shit. That's how you make a documentary you throw everything in That's how you make a compelling case against someone who's a dangerous, rapist, white nationalist, whatever, stalker. You gotta throw everything out there.

Like, he stole $70 from me, he ripped off my logo, all that shit is real good to put in there. You don't ever, you know, it's not like the three bullet points, you know? It's like why global warming is so effective at getting everyone on board is because they just throw everything in there Hey straws, we need plat. We need paper straws and you go That's global warming. We need paper straws for global. I don't think so, right? The one thing people manage to slip through is like

Organizing like just basic like high school English paper writing. Yeah. Just organize your thoughts, couple ideas, supporting a bigger idea. Get the big ones. Big ideas, supporting things, and then be done. Or else it looks like you're just kind of making up the big shit. If you have little shit in there like, Riley stole your logo or I stole $70 from you,

makes it seem like you're making up the big shit. It makes it seem like you're actually mad at the little shit, which you probably are. It makes it all equal. Makes it all equal. The human mind can't identify with little tiny, you're making a monster here. You're not making a guy who is like, well, it's $70. I don't... Right.

Did Hitler steal $70? I would never know because Jews know how to tell a story Okay History is written by written by the winners man. It is we're going to Gaza, baby. Pack your trunks We're going to Gaza whoever did the art last episode loved it. That was Spencer tunes Spencer's fantastic Spencer tunes on Twitter So my little son's gonna come to me. Where is my, there we are. I have it on screen.

He's gonna think you're a sitcom character. What do you do? He's gonna say, Daddy, what do you do? And I'll say, well, you see this six hour documentary on the holo, on the holo net? That's all about like how I'm a big piece of shit and it's got like, I killed the Grinch and I cut somebody off in traffic and I like committed genocide. Like that's, you see that guy who's posting it? You see that look on his face?

Do you see it? That's what daddy does for work. That's what daddy does for work. See the lack of light behind his eyes? See that? You see, look at my eyes. You see how it's like you look in there and there's like a universe of like,

like you remember in Little Mermaid when they got all those little guys going, ah, on the ground? That's when it's in daddy's eyes. You see all those guys? I took all those guys. I took it out of their eyes. These poor unfortunate souls, man.

They're all back there. That's what daddy does for work. And he's gonna go, how can I do that? How can I do that, daddy? I'm gonna say, buddy, you don't wanna do this. Don't, you don't wanna, first of all, I don't know if you can teach it. But secondly- Then you're gonna start sapping his energy next. You don't want to do this. Don't, you don't want to, first of all, I don't know if you can teach it.

But secondly- Then you gotta start sapping his energy next. Secondly, if you do this, you have to spend the rest of your life trying to undo it in your normal life. So I really recommend if you, if it doesn't, if it's not something that you need to do, if you don't feel it like you need to have it

or you'll die, then I just recommend not even did not even leaning in not leaning toward it Sit at laugh at it. See what it is and leave it but me my darling I must do this or else I'll die this is sinking compulsion this I Must feed yeah, I'm hungry This sinking compulsion, this... I must feed. Yeah. I'm hungry. Always.

Look at this shit. That's a lot of words. From someone who's not mad. Presenting Dick! Woohoo Dick, you love Dick, you got it. So show airing is a contest coming to you live from Mountain Bunker, deep in the heart of city of Fabia. I'm your host, Dick Masterson, AKA the million dollar man back in gray, Heather gray, you getting grayer. Am I?

Is this an optical illusion? Are you turning into Johnny the White? I am, slowly. What I did was I got a hundred different shirts and dyed them all. Yeah, various. Various, yeah, so I'm slowly gonna become like a better shirts and dyed them all. Yeah, various. Various, yeah. So I'm slowly gonna become like a better version of myself

throughout the course of the show. You ever see Die Hard? You've seen the movie Die Hard? Of course. You know how he starts in a white tank top and then halfway through the movie they switch it to a black tank top because he's gotten so dirty, I guess.

Probably because the white one looked dumb at night in the dark, but I really hate that I know. mean I noticed that one day I'm like, oh man I don't want to have noticed this we watched that movie one too many times man. Yeah I Saw some Israeli friends last night. Oh That you were serious. I thought that was like a no. No, that you were serious. I thought that was like a euphemism. Oh no, no, that's not a euphemism.

I love Israelis. I saw some Israeli friends last night and I hadn't seen them since we were, since 80s school got pregnant. Cause we haven't seen a lot of people, you know. What's the point? Pregnant women just, they sleep like, you know, out at 7 p.m.

Plus I'm like, I don't really care. So he saw him and he's like, you're pregnant? Yes. And do you know, do you know? He's like really quiet and he's looking at me and he goes, and do you know if it is a girl? And I said, it's a boy. And he goes, oh boy.

It's like, oh, thank you for, thanks for like, you know, containing your. It's internationally, oh, thank you for, thanks for like, you know, containing your- Internationally validating. Yeah, like thanks for your repress, thanks for the decorum of your question to begin with. And do you know if it's a girl or a boy? It's a boy.

Oh! She's looking at me, she's like, really? I'm like, Zaffy, what do you want? Yeah. Don't be a shit if he's not. Zaffy, I'm happy too. We went to get our marriage certificate, you know, because Jason Lee Peterson's marrying us, right?

That's right. And it's some, some like courthouse, whatever. I don't know what it is. It's not downtown. It was somewhere out in Monrovia where it's night where the parking is ample, right? Oh wow. So like girlfriends like, well, can you, you know we should meet there cause we don't want to be late.

I'm like, trust me. We, I don't know if we want to be anything right now. I don't want to be late. Oh my god. Trust me. We, I don't know if we want to be anything right now. I don't mind being late, alright? If it happens, if we happen to miss it, you know, we happen to miss it. I'm willing to let, I'm willing to let Jesus take the wheel on this one. I don't know if we need to get, I don't know if we need to take separate cars to the wedding, to the marriage certificate, honey. That's a bad omen, right? Plus I don't want to, it's raining, I don't want to drive.

Why don't you just go ahead and come on over after work and we'll see what God has. You know, maybe it's not meant to be, right? Inshallah. Inshallah, my brother. We'll see if, you know, we'll see. And I can tell she's pissed, but I'm like, I don't want to, come on.

When is the government says be there at four, we could probably get there tomorrow. It's going to be fine. Right? Yeah. When's the government been on time? Never. They don't even know what numbers they're sending out. So she gets home, picks me up,

and we head down to the marriage thing. And I look at the menu prices. It's like a private certificate, 80 bucks. Public certificate, 90 bucks. I'm like, wait, what? You mean getting married in privately is, I saved 10 bucks? This is great. Why don't we do that?

She's like, well, what do you mean? Like, well, first of all, I didn't know it was going to cost 90 bucks. So I was trying to get through one day. Like I have this goal every day to not spend 100 bucks. And it's, it's very hard. It's hard. It's hard. Like I'm not, I do not want to spend 100 bucks today.

And then I'll get sent a bill from like, oh, well here's the electric company. It turns out to the solar guys need this to put on your thing and that's gonna be 89 bucks. I'm like, okay, so I have $11 for dinner. Okay. Honey, let's get the anonymous private ceremony. Just like, I don't want to deal with that. I'm like, well, why would they offer? It's probably the same. I don't know why deal with that. I'm like, well, it's said why would they off it's probably the same I don't know they I don't know why it would be I don't know why they have two options

Like I don't know why this exists, but it's why it's ten bucks less, you know private and cheaper Yeah, they get somebody who's like slightly less qualified to file the form. I don't know what the difference is I don't know what the difference is between a $80 getting married and a $90 getting married about 10 but I'm already I'm upset that I'm being shafted $10 somehow the 90 was offensive but the 80 is somehow more offensive 20 at least with 10 bucks in your pocket you know you're not doing shit with that at least I knew that I got the best deal right? Okay Twenty in your pocket. What's the best deal I can get on how much marriage cost 90 bucks? Is there a deal?

Well, you can get it for 80, but it's not public. I don't why would I care about that? What do you mean? It's not public. That's the only option. She's I don't want to deal with this right now I already you already made me come home and pick you up. Okay Okay, it's a magical day. Let's not the happiest day of your lives Let's not let's not mess it up. Okay, let's not have a bad memory of today over $10 Even though $10 is like a whole meal. Well, that's the thing Oh, you have to internalize for the rest of your life now. You're gonna fucking

What's the thing that you have to internalize for the rest of your life now? You're gonna fucking be lying in bed? I wanted to go to the security guard. There's a big black security guard. The place is empty, so I don't know why there's a big black security guard. I guess they're there to just flirt with the fat women. Oh, to keep it empty, yeah. To keep it empty. I want to go, hey, buddy, I'm being robbed.

Can you do something about it? And he's like, what, where? I'm like, right here, look at this. $90 marriage certificate, $80 private marriage certificate. Why isn't it both 80 bucks? Do you guys have price matching here right there 80 bucks What the hell man What the hell do you do this so women feel good about spending more money when they come in here is okay, okay?

Save it for the show whatever So I go let me make sure this is streaming so I go Yeah, is it streaming? Is it, Rumble died already? No, is it still streaming? Is it still streaming? So I go, okay. We go to the window and another lovely fat woman.

She says, all right, here's all your forms. Is all this stuff, right? Let me get your credit card. Okay, yeah, here's my credit card. Here's your driver's license, okay. She's like, all right, I need you to take a vow that all this stuff is accurate on your driver's license and stuff.

I'm like, okay. So then she goes, all right, I'll be right back. And then she moves, you know, she moves out of the way. I see behind her a wall of Funko pops. Shouldn't there be something about, like for me, this is like, if this is like, you have a Nazi flag hanging or Confederate flag hanging behind you. If I was a black person.

You start reaching for a hammer. Yeah, like this is this is highly offensive is a see I still streaming. Okay, I don't want to First of all, you're raping me with the $90 at the door to get in and this is what you're doing with my plunder This is what you're doing with my money buying Funko pops of Pokemon Fuck take this down. Can I I get the black guy back over? I'm like, hey, this is a hate symbol that you have back here I hate having money. Yeah. Why is this woman who's got a Funko pop umi- umi-brian or something? She got him confused with lollipops probably. So I said, okay. She's like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, do you swear that all this is real? Yeah.

She goes, okay, here's your marriage certificate. Don't get it wet or you have to buy another one. Okay, well, now I want to get it wet. She's like, okay, and here's your customer copy. And it was a identical marriage certificate, but it said it has customer copy printed across it like a receipt. What is this?

She goes, well, that's just your copy for practice. I said, for practice? What do you mean practice? She goes, well, you gotta sign your name. You gotta sign your name where it says, you know, name. You gotta sign it before you send it in. So some people will practice on that and then, you know, throw it away.

Really? You get a lot of people screwing up the signing their name parts? But you'd be surprised. I'm like, I doubt it. I really don't think so. So now I got a customer copy of my... I don't know why it says customer copy on it though. You're merely a customer. Yeah, who's the... Customer copy. Like this is the best thing you guys could think to print on this?

The extra ten bucks copy for the stamp Give me the does the private one does the $80 one come with a Customer copy on the form that's absurd. It is a little bit absurd. Okay, let's read Oh, man, Eric Andrew Tate stuff is popping off as well. Did you catch any of that? I saw you tweeting about it. This is the the comms director for the Florida Attorney General Started following me on Twitter because my interview with Andrew Tate on this show of how he like Beats whores and keeps all their money is the de facto like spreadable It's going around again. It gets millions of views every time. Like people are all fighting, and I think they're all fighting for the wrong reasons,

personally, like, you don't get into it. But Tate, Andrew Tate, is on trial for like 40 counts of human trafficking, which he confessed to on the show. Right. He broke the whole operation down, yeah. Yeah, I had him on the show to talk about all the crimes Right. He broke the whole operation down. Yeah. Yeah. I had him on the show to talk about all the crimes that he's doing, because I like crimes and criminals.

And I love hearing about guys doing crimes and stuff. It's cool. It's fun. It's cool. And a lot of crimes are OK, like drug smuggling and stuff. That's totally victimless. And the reason we have the fentanyl epidemic is because of the war on drugs. Because it's easier per milligram. It's more cost effective to smuggle fentanyl than it is to bring in a big drum of cocaine.

You can make as much money selling it to as many drug addicts as a tiny little cube of fentanyl as a great big truck full of cocaine. So obviously you're going to smuggle fentanyl, which forces everybody to buy fentanyl. The reason there's a fentanyl problem is because there's a war on drugs. That's it. As soon as the war on drugs is gone, everybody's going back to heroin and cocaine. Yeah. Or laudanum or whatever. People don't like fentanyl. They don't prefer fentanyl. They prefer heroin. They prefer opium actually, but nobody wanted a big,

nobody wanted a triple decker of Chinese guys under the grocer getting wasted. So now we have fentanyl. Thank you. Thanks guys. Like this is the, these are the ramifications of your choices. There's not, you don't get to determine what people do. You just influence it based on,

but based on your, based on putting your finger on the scale on either side. Like, okay, well, we're just making it totally cost and effective to do opium. Like, okay, well, I guess we have to do fentanyl because we're not, we're not not getting high because everything sucks. Like you guys

Fucked up the economy so bad that I have to get high I can't have a house and I'm wife and kids so I'll just get high You can't expect me to work on this railroad all day and not have a not get high Yeah, if you want a railroad railroad railroad, we're getting high. Yeah, that's what we're doing. Yeah And it's the same thing with the Tate guys. If women, if you make it illegal for women to be prostitutes, you're gonna get pimps because you're making a black market where women, women would love to just go be prostitutes.

I don't care if, I wouldn't care. Everyone would be a lot happier if they could just deal directly instead of putting on a big performance, taking you sitting on grinder or sitting on tinder all day swiping and those apps by the way you've been around veto too much those apps are designed to not get you laid to make sure you're addicted to the process forever right mm-hmm everybody knows this but the if you're gonna have you're not gonna let if you're not gonna let women be prostitutes,

which is just totally insane, right? But same thing, people don't want a big double-decker room of wasted Chinaman, people don't want a double-decker room of guys getting syphilis and cheating on their wives. Okay, that sounds like a you problem, quite honestly, but there's so many of you, you made it a me problem. Mm-hmm. Welcome to America, right?

So, okay, so women can't go be prostitutes even though they're still kind of doing it, even though they found ways around it, even though everybody would be a lot happier, even though without pimps, more prostitutes would probably just become wives. It would probably become a dating strategy, quite honestly, if someone else's income wasn't... At least, if we're gonna make the prostitution illegal, you gotta make trafficking illegal too. Because there ain't no hoes working for 10% of their salary without getting their asses kicked. That is a guarantee. You know, everybody knows the guy's guilty, because women don't hoe for free none of them would do this for fun

They're obviously being trafficked Obviously textbook definition. We all know it because everybody listening to this show is not fucking dumb You hear a guy going yeah, I got 16 hoes and I keep 90% of my money Oh, yeah, cuz if you cuz if they don't if they say no you'll kick the shit out of them You and I can go to work and say I'm done here and the boss says I'll kick the shit out of them. Obviously! You and I can go to work and say, I'm done here, and if the boss says I'll kick the shit out of you, you say, oh, I'll kick the shit out of you actually, but then I'm gonna go to the cops and I will sue your ass. Whores can't do that, because what they're doing is already illegal. So they're fucked, just like illegal immigrants, right?

We've set up this system to make choice set up this system to make it, to make choice in autonomy illegal, and we let people exploit it with no consequence and no punishment at all, right? That's what they're missing, okay? Tates are obviously doing illegal crimes. They're doing a bunch of, you know, securities violations too, but all this, all this shit they're doing that's illegal, right? But they're going around the circuit, conservative circuit saying, and I didn't even think about this until this week, when the comms director for DeSantis started following me. Cause I said, hey bro, call me in a test. I'll happily testify.

This is my interview with Andrew Tate is the only one where I'm not in bed with him. Like I think he's funny. As a pimp. Man, what was that one tweet he did that's like, your life is worthless, like you could never. You could never imagine what it's like. But he turned into kind of a cocksucker,

like he's just huffing his own farts now. Yeah, no, that tweet for me was like. All right, man, you're, now you're, and you're getting embarrassed by women, you're kind of making us look bad, you're making us look bad. So you gotta go to prison. Yeah prison for the crimes that you did. Enjoy prison.

Enjoy prison. Maybe that'll knock some of the starch out of your child. Pimping child, yeah. So then I started looking into a little more about this, like he had a 15 year old cam-whore or something, groomed a 15 year old or whatever. And I'm like, wait a minute, he's got all these guys coming into his compound.

Surely, surely they're, surely that they're, surely one of them has fucked some of his underage whores. This is a big problem, right? Running Epstein juniors over here. Yeah, he's running Epstein shit. That's what he would do, obviously, right? So I'm like, okay, I don't, I mean, I don't care. The test fine would be hilarious.

But this, the interview that I did with him is the only one where I'm not like a accomplice in this stuff. I'm not the only people that hasn't gone to his island, right? So it's unique. My interview with him is unique. That I haven't fucked any of his underage whores,

definitely, right? Everybody else has gone to the island. You don't know, they're all in the flight logs, right? Yeah. Not me. He thinks you're ugly, man. I am ugly. So, and it also is a couple of things why I said,

you should bring me into, you should subpoena me to testify. Number one, it's very funny. Number two, I'm the only one that hasn't been to the island, right? And number three, I'm in a unique position where when Andrew Tate was on this show, he hadn't developed his bombastic personality yet,

where he's always doing Tai Chi at the beginning of Die Hard 2, the bad guy, and smoking cigars, and wearing, he was just like a normal guy in his airplane hangar at his whore factory, you know? And I have 10 years of experience, I am world-renowned. I am world rena- I am world famous for being- for interviewing people who are sometimes lying and sometimes not. So if there's anybody who can explain the difference, it's gonna be me, boys!

Ta-da! Yeah, cause he was still trying to get traction at that point. Yeah, cause he was still trying to get traction at that point. Yeah, he was. He was. So that might be funny. It'd be hilarious. Fingers crossed. It would be even funnier too cause Sean's in that clip.

I know. Just Sean one day watching the news and seasons and he's like what the fuck. Maybe they'll subpoena him. That would be even funnier you're back they keep bringing me back in should be funny it'd be funny and you do have to you can't if you're not gonna let women be whores you gotta stop them from being trafficked. That's not my job, it's somebody's job.

But you surely can't allow this. Witness Intimidation 2, he's on trial for. For a woman in Florida. He sent people to her house when she was testifying? I'm like, well that's very illegal! You guys are like obsessed with this women are whores shit like women better get in line and get married and have a family. It's like, okay okay yeah fine okay I mean not I mean you guys are kind of it's your fault you guys are just insufferable like all you talk about is politics and football all day. And you're just like the walking ick guys.

Like you're just, you're so repulsive and narcissistic and self-absorbed that you're driving them away. It's not, I'm sure they would rather. I'm sure that I think they would rather go, and it's not your fault because the economy sucks. Okay, everybody should be making four times what they do, but because of the Fed, but because of the government,

and the central banks, everybody's getting fucked over, all right? If money was flowing the way it should, without government interference, every man would be making four X of what he is now, and I couldn't say the same for women. And the dating dynamics would be very differently, but would move very differently, would be very different.

But as it is now, that ain't reality. So, I don't know what to tell you. But I do know that what's happening here, women getting pimped out and shit, getting beaten to go on, OnlyFans getting threatened at their house and stuff, that's having a chilling effect that is not good for anybody. That's bad. So everybody who's just kind of looking at the other... plus if these guys get thrown into prison for statutory rape,

this is going to be very bad for Bitcoin. This is going to be very bad for your politics. Do you guys not understand this? Anyway, I forget what I was saying. They're like AI generated bad guys. They're like, well what's another bad guy thing we could do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, uh, well, we could jaywalk. We could, uh, like... Jaywalk, yeah.

Uh... Just crossing them off the list. I still think Andrew Tate would be funny in prison. I don't get... That would be funny. It doesn't have to be free to be funny. It's still funny. Mm-hmm

The crimes are funny, but the crimes were bad. Yeah You know, it's not really about women are whores look we know there we know there's he put his money where his mouth is yeah where his mouth is. Yeah. I don't want women to get beat. I just want them to stop spending so much money. I don't think beating's going to help. The beating helped by all means, but I don't think it does. That's just my opinion.

Each hit takes. You can call me a feminist. Instead of damage being taken out, you could just see minus red dollar signs. Like Sonic, you're hitting the rings out of the. Yeah, butdo-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- I'm in a unique position to give expert testimony. It would be even funnier if they just subpoenaed Sean and not you Your phone would light up so fucking fast I would be so pissed You would be I would be so fucking pissed It's like when Vito got to do all those interviews on shit after the Netflix protest. Oh, yeah

Oh, I don't get to do shit Sean would be on Sean would be on the news on shit after the Netflix protest. Oh yeah. I was like, ugh, I don't get to do shit. Sean would be on the news. So when did you first meet Tate? He was like, well it was on my show, I was doing an interview. That would be fucking comedy. I have to see that. I mean, put it out there everybody.

Road rage Tampa. Maddox has been spurging out, too. There must be something in the air. It's causing all the spurgouts. A lot of steam being built up. Is that it? I think people need to go blow off some steam. The bifrost is, the winter frost is melting,

and it's causing a steam convection in the anus. Yeah. That's really blowing people out. That's really getting people tight. They need to blow off the steam. They gotta blow some steam off for sure. He's just blowing, Eric is just blowing some steam off. Well he's attempting to blow off some steam but it's building steam.

I think he's boiling the steam. He's building steam. He is throwing more logs under that fire. Sometimes what you think is blowing off steam is actually boiling the steam and throwing logs on the fire. We are... Sometimes you're building up the fire and you're not blowing off the steam. No.

He's generating steam. This right here is a steam engine. He's steaming up. Yeah. We have Stanley Steamer over here. generating steam. This right here is a steam engine. Yeah. We have Stanley Steamer over here. Well, he made this video, this 30 minute video debunking everything, like, you know.

Re-bunking everything. He made a re-bunking video. And then me and Vito were making fun of it, and we did a bonus episode on it. And today, he's really upset. So I guess the debunking didn't work like he thought it was. Yeah.

Let me read the, I got some Maddox, Maddox things first. Maddox identifies with a woman who got stalked. Ha ha ha ha. Let's see here. This lady, a nice lady is sharing her stalking experience. If you want to know what it's like to be a victim in LA, I was attacked on September 26th, 2024

by Ian Ira Rousseau, who stalked me for two years. He gave me a concussion and there was video, witnesses, police report, medical report, premeditation. And he admitted in writing he was proud of what he did. On December, city attorney, Heidi Fieldstein Soto declined to file charges and never told me. I had to find out in March after I hired attorneys to advocate for me.

Yeah, I mean, that sucks, but how do you vote? Like, do you vote for, like, why is LA a crime-infested shithole, because of the way women vote here, because of the way Democrats vote. That's why. So, how did you vote? Here's a more important question. How much does she weigh?

Because here's the thing, if she's skinny, would Maddox have said the same to a fat chick? Is he being selective with his nausea? Yeah, is he being cloyingly selective? Okay, this guy waited out in front of a comedy club. I think I know that comedy club. Uh, is that in Hollywood? Uh, he opened his metal water bottle, chased me, and poured it all over my head. And he hit me in the back of the head with a metal water bottle chased me and poured it all over my head

And he hit me in the back of the head with a metal water bottle before running away. Here's so this woman was just straight-up assaulted By an insane by an angry man outside of a comedy club right okay, so this woman was attacked brutally Outside jokes aside. She was attacked. You know brutally by a by a man by a crazy man and the police who just don't prosecute crimes like that because uh this country is over this this LA city LA LA city is overrun by criminals and liberals and I don't know which is causing more damage, to be honest, because liberals are retarded and they elect criminals. And then the criminals, shock of shocks, let criminals run wild in the city,

stealing and beating and maiming and harming everyone in their path. But they still find time to send me tax notices for a new project too, which closed down five years ago, that I owe them $300 plus, you know, $500 in penalties. They still find time to do that, but they can't do anything about the menace of thugs and miscreants flooding the city. So Maddox sees that and says, absolutely nauseating. I read through your entire thread

because it's heartbreaking. That with this much evidence, the city does nothing. I've had a stalker for over a decade who has run a harassment campaign in LA and stalked me in person, and the police haven't done anything. Bro.

Bro really sat there and read some lady's whole thread. First off, that is extremely suspect. Anytime I see a thread in someone's Twitter. The thread I muted. Ah, yeah. Gone, blocked, out of here. I don't care.

Get it out. Bro. Maddox. He just wanted to talk about you, man. Getting made fun of online is not the same as a woman getting brained with a metal yeti water bottle outside of a comedy club on the street. I didn't see her set. Maybe it was that bad, but it's still not the same as you getting called a cuck online.

Absolutely nauseating. I read through your entire thread and it's heartbreaking that with this much evidence, the city does nothing. I've, he's like Brainy Smurf. I've had a, I've had a stalker for over a decade, Papa Smurf, who has run a harassment campaign in Los Angeles and stalked me in person and the police haven't done anything I'm sorry that happened to you. She says and then this guy bro is really comparing being made fun of online

See this one Being made fun of online For making bad content to actually being stocked as a vulnerable woman. Yeah That's pretty crazy Hmm I Know he's not listening but Maddox just bring back the cowboy and the banana man. He's listening Oh, well, then bring back the cowboy and the banana bring him back, dude Those guys were funny.

They're still funny. Team up with Eric July. You guys could have a whole thing together, talking about men remaining men together, and how I ruined your lives. What is it, gravy seal camps? Yeah, you can go out and join one of those women's retreats where they grow out and just scream.

You'd be sure they scream push-ups all scream. Like they do all day every day. Push-ups all day, yeah. Oh man, I fucked up. You know, Severance, I made the mistake of talking about it, of saying that I liked it on the show. My wife heard that. She's like, really? Let me get in on that.

And I'm like, it was Thursday. Every new episode comes out Thursday. And I'm like, uh, can you... But you work and you go to bed early. You have to catch up on a season and a half to get to the new episodes. She's like, well, don't watch the new episode without me. I want to get caught up first. That's why I gatekeep everything.

Uh, okay. How many episodes can you watch every day? She's like, easily four. I said, okay. How many episodes can you watch every day? She's like, easily four. I said, okay. Let's put on an episode. It's like 30 minutes in the episode. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm being trapped. I did. I did fuck up. It took her like a week to get caught up with me, like not pushing, but not pushing. What the hell?

All this spending money's got you off your game, man. You should have told her you could start watching it after I finish it. I don't know why I agreed to it. I almost secretly watched the new episode. I should have. I didn't. I'm like, ah, I'm not gonna tell. I'm not gonna say that I did. I don't want to act like, oh wow. The guy who acts way too hard reacts way too hard. Oh, I can't believe that happened! I didn't even think that might happen! Whoa! That's fucked. That's a good character.

It's fucked, yeah. It is. Oh, honey! This is all new to me. Whoa! Did you watch this before? No. Shit, why did I say that? That's gotta be a I think you should leave bit. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Pimps and hoes, pimps and hoes. Yeah, well, and you gotta think too without the pimps and hoes, there would be no 90s Memphis trap music or anything. Really? Yeah. That came about, that wouldn't happen? Wouldn't happen. Because of the pimps?

Well, because they were pimps. And so it's like, yeah, and they were pimps. Because they were pimps. Yeah. What else is there to talk about other than complain about your job all day? I think if trafficking laws were enforced and prostitution was legal, I think there would still be pimps, but they wouldn't be allowed to take 90%.

Like, there's a lot of law about contracts. Got to get an LLC. Yeah, you have to get an LLC. You can take max 7%. Like Hollywood agents and managers can't take... Like Elvis. Elvis set the precedent for... You can't take 50% of a guy's contract and then like leverage him out for the rest of his life.

That's usurious and illegal. The credit card shit is the same. Okay, so, I don't know. AOC and some other dumb, some other stupid congress lady are trying to cap credit cards at 10%, right? Which if you're a non retard, the answer is awesome. Yeah. Yeah, fuck, fuck credit card companies. They would have it at a hundred percent if they could. Yeah. The obvious, like the low end of the bell curve, right, is like, yeah, awesome, fuck them.

That's 30% interest is bullshit. I know tons of people who just get fucked over because people don't understand how much damage compound interest can do. Like they just can't visualize it. They can't. And no amount of teaching them, no amount of making them do tests

and having some lady lecture them about, look, if it's one, it's 10 here and then it's 20 and then it's 30, you know, it's never, it's never going to get through to them. They're just going to see a TV and go, I want that TV. There you go. And then the credit card company says, Hey, you owe us $40 million. You paid, you paid $10,000 for that $700 plasma TV. right? God that's that's the reality. Okay, and It used to be before the 80s in the 70s states had usury laws where credit card companies could not just charge you like an Infinity month because you get as soon as you get too far out on the credit card bill, it's over.

There's no recovering from that. They just move it around from credit card to credit card and stay in the free zone. And it's like, it's just eroding their minds, right? This is like, there's an entire class of people that don't understand it, can't understand it and get preyed on by companies, credit card companies who then take all the money,

they extract all the money from them, and then they use the money to make things that they don't like illegal. Like, oh well, we don't really like guns. You can't use credit cards and do guns. We don't really like some kind of pornography, so you can't use credit cards and do that. We don't really like AI, like fake, deep fakes, so you can't transact credit cards and do that part. We don't really like AI like fake deepfakes So you can't transact with money to use us. So they're like the most they're like the most evil usurious slash censorious companies on earth and All of the and the discourse around capping them at 10% which is obvious like yeah, fuck them

Yeah, don't you know? Well, yeah, but if the government comes the government the government's in everything dude the government's in everything the government should just run poor course around capping them at 10% which is obvious like yeah fuck them yeah don't you know well yeah but if the government comes the government the government's in everything dude the government's in everything the government should just run poor stupid people's lives they can't they just they can't at all they don't know anything they can't fucking make anything you send all their jobs to china they don't have any they don't have a chance in hell of doing anything just run their lives totally give them free tvs no one fucking cares don't let don't let them manage any money they can't they fuck it up and go to jail just give them a TV they

Want a new TV fucking give it to them who fucking cares. It's not that much money The response is oh well, you know this isn't very free markety of you If we if we don't if it's 10% then the credit card companies can't afford to give credit cards to poor people. It's like, dude... What do you mean they can't afford? Yeah, do it. Do it or we'll kill you. Yeah. Yeah, you can't afford it. Do it.

We'll go out of business. Then go out of business. Then go out of business. Because that's what, that's the rest of us. That's the reality that the rest of us are in every fucking day. Hey, I can't get a job, you guys imported 10 million Indians. Well, then you're dead. So if you don't like it, oh sorry, then you're just gonna have to starve and die in the street. Hey, we can't give credit cards to poor people at 10% and survive. Well then you're just gonna have to go die in the street then, dude.

Sorry! Sorry, but you have fucked up! Sorry, but you fucked everyone for too long! Now it's your turn to get fucked! Sorry! S-s-sucks to be you, I guess! Sorry, we're just dropping you right on top of you! Sorry!

Sorry, you gives a shit! This is not the 90s anymore! Uh... Hahahaha It's fucking true though, man. It's true! Alright, what do I ha- Daylight Savings has me all amped up. That's true. Alright what do I have daylight daylight savings has me all amped up that's the real- Is that what I woke up feeling weird and I was like what is that?

What is it man? Um, you see that brain cancer kid at the State of the Union address? He's a little fucker. He is a little fucker. He's a little piece of shit. Yeah man. Democrats should have thrown like tomatoes and shit at him. I think do you fuck you fuck you Trump fuck you fuck this kid Boo and funny yeah, that would've been cool Not just sitting around not clapping shit. That's dumb All I had to do was clap man Yeah, we're go all the way mm-hmm fuck that they should call them then we're fuck this Fuck you Harley Jarvis. I hope you fucking die exactly

Fuck you man. Hey, fuck your dad, too. Yeah Fuck you man all this half ass do rag bitch. Yeah, all this mid assery mid assery is really annoying Canada banned bourbon again. See that? I did see something about that and I just immediately didn't care. Yeah, they're real. Canada has this idea that like,

I think they think bourbon comes from Israel or something. And that's why Americans would be upset if they banned it. But it doesn't, it comes from Bourbon County, Kentucky. Everything else is just sparkling wine. Yeah, and we don't really care if you ban bourbon from your liquor stores. First of all, there's always a whiskey shortage. There's always a bourbon shortage.

Ever since I remember, there's always stories about Maker's Mark is running out, Wild Turkey's running out, we got a boost, you know, never seen before. But secondly, I don't think in America, we really give a shit if Canada doesn't sell liquor, or if even liquor companies go out of business. We boycott Bud Light for fun.

Yeah. Cause they gave like this little twinkly guy Quincey little lady with a penis a Free beer and everyone said we're boycotting Bud Light the most famous American beer. We did that We try to run them out of business you guys We don't give a shit about That you can't ever underestimate the sheer power of American alcoholism. Yeah.

Yeah. It's, you know. I don't even get the point of this for Canadians sake. Look at this. They're doing it again. They're like, we just want to drink shitty bourbon, shitty whiskey. Yeah, Canadian whiskey. I think the most annoying thing about all this Canada stuff is having to interact with Canadians Mm-hmm and Canadian supremacists Canadian supremacists who are like from, they're living in like the 90s We're saying stupid shit like, well Canadian beer is the best in the world, eh? It's like, it's not man, it's like, it's shit

You guys, Molson and Patch Blue Ribbon, this fucking out. I American IPA's are the best in the world Mm-hmm. We are the best in the world Especially drinking beer, especially drinking beer drinkable beers. Yes creating beer. Also, the stuff you guys make is trash It's not even close. It's not even close. And you yourself are stupid for thinking that and even more for saying it. I don't want to discuss this anymore with you

because you've embarrassed yourself so much. That's what I think. I don't want to drink 30 of your beers to feel like one of mine. Yeah, exactly. We're drinking IPAs now here. If it's less than 12%, I'm not cracking it. Crap.

Yeah. Might as well be Zinfandel. Yeah. That you're drinking. Gay. Mm-hmm. You know? That's... It's over. We won. The IPA guys won. Yeah. Because we get drunk and aggressive.

Aggressive. And we beat all the... We killed all the... And there's usually burgers at an IPA place, too. There's always burgers. Mm-hmm. Why is that? Because it's cool. You got, you know, it's fightin' fuel.

Some steam building, you know. It's a steam building. Steam building activity. It's a steam building Likour, the IPA. A good shipping IPA. Let's see. Guys, a bunch of guys shoplifting, transgenders mice.

I thought for sure Trump was bullshitting about that transgender mice shit. But he wasn't. There really were making transgenders mice. Transgenders mice. Or shishir sauce. Trans... transgenders mice. Uh... Here's something about Europe.

Okay, that looks kind of funny, I guess. Michael Moore. Then I gotta read this Eric July tweet. Michael Moore's still alive? Isn't that shocking? Maybe heart disease isn't a big problem. Yeah. Maybe you can be a fat piece of shit and just kind of skirt under the radar all this time.

Yeah. Vivek being fucking stupid. Oh yeah, Vivek says teachers are gonna get paid. Let's hear this. I need a break from talking for a second. Let's hear what Vivek's gonna- what dumb thing Vivek's gonna say. Vivek looks like the Garfield Eats guy.

What's Garfield Eats? This guy, like, thought he- like, really obsessed with Garfield and he wanted to like own the IP somehow. Again, I'm always in a state reading all this shit. He opened this restaurant called Garfield Eats. Do you want that coke shit?

Oh, yes please. Yeah. Thank you. Real piece of shit. Everything sucked and it's been failing and he's been trying to revive it all this time, but it just looks as silly and desperate. But I'm looking at him. Why does he look so from him? He looks like the Garfield Eats guy. Oh shit, I just watched the Garfield Eats thing.

Let me see. Garfield Eats. Yeah, it's really... The Garfield Eats guy? I'll look it up later. Yeah, it's a good deep dive if you got nothing else going on. But man, I've listened to- You love your deep dives. When I'm editing stuff, I can't listen to it too much. Otherwise, I'll get sick of it.

And then I stop paying attention to what I'm supposed to be doing, and I just get too analytical. So if I have something on in the background, I can kind of- I know exactly what you mean. That's why I watch video games all day on Twitch. Because then if I'm focused on this, then I'll hear what the real mistake is not yeah else Okay, Ohio will be the first state in the country to implement merit-based pay for teachers and principles in our public schools

Pay for performance period but there is no economic excellence without Educational excellence and you put your finger on that correctly Maria economic excellence without educational excellence and you put your finger on that correctly Maria. We have to be the state that leads the way with merit based pay for teachers, principals, administrators and superintendents in the public schools. Yes, I want to take school choice to the next level. I'm a school choice evangelist. We're going to go further in Ohio. But I also want our public schools to be able to compete with the best of those alternatives. And that means we have to start paying for performance for the teachers, where the best

ones should get paid more for helping our kids excel in reading and writing and math where they're falling behind. But that means we have to cut a lot of the dead weight hanging around that isn't serving our kids well either. And I do think that we're going to hopefully be able to set a national standard. I'll call it the Ohio standard for the rest of the country, not just for school choice where states like Arizona and Iowa have done great, but now also taking aim at lifting up the quality of curriculum and excellence in our public schools, get the cell phones out of the classroom, so much more we're going to be able to do.

get the cell phones out of the classroom, so much more we're gonna be able to do. Are kids still getting raped in schools? Is that still happening? Well, I don't know, ever since that billboard telling people to think about it twice. Was that outside of a school? Maybe they should do that. Put that in the teacher's lounge.

Hey, think twice before you rape a kid. Just think twice. Think twice, there could be consequences. I'm trying to see if this veto will fit in the Steve Urkel. There. Look. V-Urkel. Kids still getting raped, yes or no?

Mr. Vivek, are kids getting raped in school? That's amazing, man. Hey, how about just get all the criminals out of school? All the guys who are just doing crimes and going there to kick everyone's ass. Get rid of them. Get rid of all the bums, man. Throw them in prison school.

Hey, we're sending you here. You're probably getting your ass kicked at home, so we're sending you to prison school for a little bit. Then just see how it happens. Take all the gifted kids and send them home. Because you're just going to let them. They're going to be a different kind of menace anyway. Yeah.

They don't need to be there. It's bad for them. It's bad for them to expose them to these women. This is bad. This is a bad thing that's happening here. It's bad. You wouldn't want this woman talking to you at all. So don't let her talk to these gifted kids.

They're important, they're the future. They're the only ones that quote unquote matter. The older I've gotten, the more I'm like, what do you mean my English teacher was 26? In that up. I'm like, do you mean? Thankfully she was good. Yeah.

I learned a lot. But man, I think about that. I had so many teachers in their mid-twenties, I'm like, wait a fucking second. You guys are all bums. You don't know anything. I would never... What do you mean you're gonna pay them based on their performance?

Their performance of what? Mm-hmm. Getting kids who are criminals to stop doing crimes in class? Because you can't kick them out. Getting three months off every summer. Yeah. What the hell are you talking about? Do they get to pick...

I got bad news for you about the demographics of those classrooms. If you let... If you make it dependent... If you make their pay... uh... uh... merit-based, whatever you guys are calling it. Where they have to do good. The kids have to do good so the teacher gets paid. I got a real bad... I got bad news for you

from Reverend Jesse Jackson about how those classrooms are gonna look and the kind of jacking and bullshit that's gonna happen. What's the point in what you're doing? What are you doing here? What's the purpose of this system that you're making? I thought there was no child left behind. That's what it's been for 60 years.

that you're making. I thought it was no child left behind. That's what it's been for 60 years. That was the name of the act, not what actually happened, right? Yeah, what actually happened was it became, all kids go to prison, where you risk getting your ass kicked every day, and you have to deal with reprobates

who don't get that kind of treatment. Well, I guess they do get that kind of treatment now for the rest of their lives, but where they belong in prison camps. Maybe not prison exactly, but some sort of version of prison. We do need some kind of half prison. Yeah.

It's like, you can go, I don't know, man, but you're fucking around. Half prison would be like a bunch of school desks where you could just sit there and carve your name into it all day. Uh-huh. Put gum under it, you know. Throw pencils into the ceiling?

Oh, dude. I'm the king of that. I hate Vivek. I also hate Vivek. We gotta base teachers' pay on how good the students are doing. Yeah, that's so crazy. How come everyone wants to be a teacher in Coronado and nowhere else?

Huh. Can't imagine why. I'm sure that that'll really knock something loose in their heads. We're like, oh, shit, I got to go to school tomorrow and teach good things. I'm going to lose money on this class. Yeah. Wow, everyone's test score went up.

How'd that happen? Whoa, we started paying based on how good the kids do and test. And all of a sudden, they're all testing amazing. Everyone's a genius now Wow Huh looks like it worked way to go That's the reality of it. Yeah, that's yeah, that's the sad reality of it. Oh Shit, I just pull something out. Yeah sweet

It's not happening man. It's not supposed to, it's just supposed to be for like normal people. Just take all the bottom quintile and the top quintile and let them go do their own thing. Let the bottom ones go have fist fights in parking lots. Like they want to. Man, I keep trying to tell people, bring back bum fights. Send them to prank school. Oh. Or it's just like a gauntlet of like American Gladiator style.

Hunger Games fighting. Over a cheeseburger. Okay, let's read Eric. Yeah, I've been waiting for this. Eric's coat post about me. You know, after he was not going to talk about you, of course. Again. Again.

Part two, electric dick-a-loo, man. This is... Eric, are you having, does it feel like you're having fun? Like, do all these things feel like you're building towards something good for yourself and your company? Do all these decisions you're making feel like the correct ones now? Is the reaping as fun as the sowing?

I don't know, it doesn't seem like it. There's like a non-zero chance in my mind that every night when he's about to fall asleep, he just hears Riley in the distance with the big scissors coming after him, like the big lousy. Like the big lousy him like a big little ass. Like the big little ass. Shink.

Shink. Dumb. Dumb. We're coming for your arm hair. Shink. Dumb. And then he wakes up in a cold sweat like, oh, fuck. I thought Riley was going to get me.

Dude, his video about Riley, he has screenshots from it where Riley's dancing around in front of a green screen. And on the green screen is, I guess, Eric's house from his Zillow List thing or something. And Eric takes a screenshot of, like, Riley standing straight up on a green screen with a blurred out house in the back, and he's like seriously going, this is unacceptable. Like, this level of doxing and harassment.

Dude, it looks retarded. There's so many classic clip averse bits in there. Seriously going, this is unacceptable. Like this level of doxing and harassment. Dude, it looks retarded. There's so many classic clip averse bits in there. I forgot about some of them. And now it was like, oh man, Riley's been clowning him this whole time. OK, here's the tweet. I'll give you my attention this one time.

Wait. Woman alert? No. Oh. Oh. Can you turn that down a little bit? this one time. Wait, woman alert? No. Oh. Oh. Can you turn that down a little bit? I'll give you my attention.

This one time. I know this will be the highlight of your last five years. And you'll create a lot of content out of it. Kind of like, I shit my pants. Yeah, I love shitting my pants. I'll shit my pants right now, I'm sure you'll love it. This is probably the greatest day of your life. You'll probably make fun of me forever about this.

I'm actually eating the shit in my pants. I'm eating the shit, look, look, I'm eating the shit. You'll probably create a lot of content out of this. Yes. Then why make it? Then why make it? It's retarded. Your entire narrative. Okay, wait, yeah, turn that off. I can't focus on that.

Oh, me, I have it. Sorry. Yeah. I'll give you this attention. One. This one time. Bro, you've been giving me attention nonstop. It's been years of nonstop attention.

Nonstop. It's just this one time, though. It's again this one time. I know this will be the highlight of your last five years. And you'll create a lot of content out of it. Five years? I've had a lot of highlights in five years. I have a, you know, son. Mm-hmm.

That's a pretty big... A wife. ...a son. Uh, comedy-wise... Shit, I don't know. Alex Schafer coming in is probably a big one. Um... That's a... That was...

The Netflix protest, that was, you know, worldwide news. That was great. That was a highlight. That was right down the street from my work. That was awesome. Yeah, that was awesome. That was good. That was funny. Uh... And and it was funny showing everyone at work But hey my buddy got assaulted by all those assholes at Netflix And then everyone was like what the lady at the taco store and her brother saw me on the TV during that they're like

We just saw you at the protest on the news. Oh, yeah Your entire narrative hinges on controlling the conversation while I focus on actually running my business. You don't really have anything else to do and that works to your benefit. That's why you have to keep lying to people, desperately trying to stay in control of narratives. Bro, you...

You posted all the files. It's all public court documents. Literally anyone can look into this. It's all your statements to the police. And soon it's going to be the 911 call from the police. Or the body cam footage. I don't know. Somebody was commenting on Eric's video that he's seen the body cam footage. I don't know somebody was replying somebody was commenting on Eric's video that he's seen The body cam footage. Oh, yeah and heard the call

Holy shit. Yeah, so we'll see I don't know. I hope we get it. I hope so too. He betude, you know Oh, yeah, he's if anyone can do it. He can that's true, and he's he's trying his ass off Zero emails or Contacts were ignored If anyone can do it, he can. That's true. And he's trying his ass off. Zero! Emails or contacts were ignored. The screenshot you're showing, which I've never seen before, doesn't even support your own claim that I stopped responding.

If they plan to send me something or drafted it, does not mean that I actually received it you retard. I was never served eric All of your employees were served You were talking to the prosecutor and the cops all the time You were well aware that this was happening your employees got served that the same the same day you did All this was all this was drafted on January 2nd, as it says on the service document, be here.

All of you morons were served at your precious warehouse soon after. All of your guys were served. They left a notice saying, we attempted to serve you weren't here. Here's the serving documents because you are the prosecution's witness. You are the victim.

They did everything they could to contact you while you're screwing around, making YouTube video, making videos that you said you weren't gonna make. It's so obvious that they did everything to try to get you involved with this case that you started. Everyone who is not retarded understands what happened here. You called the cops obsessively, sent them all this Twitter shit, told your dumb meetup guy that Riley had a warrant, the cops showed up and arrested him.

And then you just disappeared because you were afraid to face him in court. That's what happened. Let me find the... the receipt that I posted of his. To see exactly... To show exactly... what happened, even though everybody already knows.

Seems like all roads lead to being a YouTube creator, right? You got all these guys that are like, I gotta make a comic book. It's like, ah, I'm gonna make a YouTube video instead. I'm gonna make a YouTube video, right? You got all these guys who are like, I got to make a comic book. It's like, I'm going to make a YouTube video instead. I'm going to make a YouTube video instead, yeah. Here it is. Especially when I said I wasn't going to make. Riley's lawyers were on this show. The prosecutors told them over and over

that you're dodging service. They tried to serve you. Eric July, this is, I guess, his warehouse address. Yeah, to appear, to be and appear before the honorable County Court at Law 1 of Collin County to be held at the address of the court. Here, I'll bring it up. Yeah, there we go.

There we go. Here, this is the summons. And then to testify in behalf of the state. Okay, yeah. To be held at 2100 Bloomedale Road in McKinney, Texas in said county, January 21st, 2025 at 830 in the morning. Then in there to testify on behalf of the state of Texas in the above styled and numbered case,

now pending in said court and there to remain from day to day and from term to term until discharged by due course of law. Returnable January 21st, so right there. Here in fail not, butt of this writ, make due return showing you have executed the same. Witness my official signature at McKinney, Texas on the second day of January 2025. That is ample time for you

who does photo shoots in your warehouse every day, stands there pretending to be a big shot, who stands there pretending to be a big shot, who stands there pretending to be Stan Lee, who stands there pretending to make readable comics and not just trash. Every day you're in the warehouse, at least every other day in the warehouse pretending to make comic books.

You had ample time and notice from everybody who also is in the warehouse pretending to make comic books and who were successfully served because they couldn't hide in their office or wherever you claimed to be when the service came. Witness my official signature at McKinney, Texas on this second day of January 2025. This is a be here subpoena. Report to this guy at the Collin County District Attorney's office, blah, blah, blah, located in the lower level of the Collin County courthouse. Totally normal, totally normal subpoena. You dodged it because you were afraid to face Riley in court because you knew

you'd get grilled and you'd embarrass yourself because you can't talk. Maybe it wasn't because it was a pull up subpoena. It should have just said pull up. Yo. I think that's where the wires got crossed. Yo, yo, yo, pull up and then the address. He said be that. Just pull up in 72 font.

Oh, oh, for real? Be that. Oh, bet. Yeah, be that. Oh, be that bet be that be be be be that bet be dead be dead bet be that be that be that oh be that be that be that bet bet bet be that is like a baby toy the way he talks be that be that be that you know jazz American jazz scatting is making a comeback finally Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep be of his status on it. There's a bunch of his warehouse guys got served at the same time.

That's wild. Isn't it? To really get on there and just proclaim. Maybe he couldn't read it. Oh, you know, maybe he just thought it was like a, you've been pre-approved for a loan. And he's like, after that, the spectrum, after that. All right.

Zero emails or contacts were ignored. The screenshot you're showing, which I've never seen before, doesn't even support your own claim that I stopped responding. If they plan to send me something or drafted it, what do you mean drafted it? They sent you all you moron services.

Well, he's just saying he's never seen the screenshot before. Not that he didn't see the paper. Uh-huh. Does not mean that I actually received it, you retard. I was never served. I like the addition of the you retard in there, that's cool. Yeah, I know how to pronounce assailant, Eric. Watch out for the calvary. Yeah. I'm no, I'm no, I'm no, uh, Plymouth like you.

You know, I'm no Plymouth like Eric, but... You might be a Gaucho though. You know, I think that's, um, so I was told that's how you pronounce it in Brazil. Cause all of his shitty comics are made in Brazil. They say Gaucho, Gaucho. Or Gaucho. They also type out laughter like fucking maniacs too. Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha.

No, it's like H-U-E, so it's like wha wha wha. Oh, that's where that's from? Yeah. I didn't know that. It's very Brazilian. Attached is an email I received before the trial. Completely blowing a hole in your argument. No trial ever took place that required us to appear.

Because you didn't respond, you schmuck! What are they gonna do? Have a case about, with no victim? Hey, this guy's stalking, who's he stalking? I don't know! It's a case about nothing. Nobody? Oh!

Attached as the email I received before the trial Completely blowing a hole in your argument. No trial ever took place that required us to appear I've never failed to appear. There was no case that I lost you've lied about the entire thing. Okay, what did you What was this thing that you posted? It's hard for me to bring his shit up because he has me blocked so I can't interact with it. So here's an email that he sent... Okay, okay. So the email that Eric has posted is from the Collin County District Attorney and there's no date on it, so I have no idea when it was sent, and the subject is Riley Mick's case disposed.

And the email says the following, I assume the prosecutor has already reached out to each of you, but if not, and we don't know who it's to. Oh, it's to Alex and Brandon. So it's to the two people who were served at the warehouse. The prosecutor has reached out to Alex and Laser Eyes, Ginger Alex and the cross-eyed enforcer,

this guy, Laser Eyes, who were both served successfully at the warehouse 20 days ago. The prosecutor reaches out who for some preposterous reason has have email addresses that end with at Eric D July dot com. Why Alex and Laser Eyes have emails at Eric D July calm instead of the rip-a-verse is not the topic of the conversation here, even though it's fucking weird What is? What is what is relevant is that it's to the two people who are served at your warehouse Who are also given yours fucking service Eric when they, we're also looking for Eric and this other guy.

Make sure they get these summons so that the trial they wanted to go forward can go forward. We've never had a victim dodge service before. So we're not anticipating that. I assume he wants to go through with this trial that he started. Here's the notice, here's the summons, the same as yours. Make sure he gets

it. We'll try other ways as well, but we're not really gonna try- we're not gonna hire Dog the Bounty Hunter for a victim that doesn't want- for a victim of a crime that is gay on his face that who doesn't want to go to trial with it, who maybe has second thoughts and is having cummer's remorse, right? Just wanted to reach out to each of you, Alex and Brandon. But if not, I just learned that the case has been disposed of. So you will not need to be there on Tuesday, January 21st. Have a great day. Does he sound happy about it?

Does he sound happy about it? You know, I think the capitalization of great and day. Have a great day. Yeah. Sounds like he got his time wasted. Sounds like he didn't even have to give an intro. He was just like. Just so you guys know, the case is not going forward. Here's what I did this week.

I fucking tersely replied to you assholes. Uh-huh. Um... I just love it though. Hey, what's your email? Oh, it's just two guys' names. A- at Eric D- your email's alexatericdjuly.com? Yeah.

Why? It's my name and then another guy's name. Is that where you work? No, I work at the Rip-A-Verse. Yeah. Why is your email at anotherguysname.com? Why don't you have like a Gmail or something? Two guys.

Because we're like bros. We're like the same guy. We're like the same guy. We're in like the Eric July business. They're in the like the top, like the inner circle, if you will. Yeah, we're on like an Herbalife scam. What the hell? That's weird, dude.

If I asked you to use a Johnny at DickMasterson.com, what would you say? Well, now I kind of want that email. That's funny. It's funny like that, because it's not. Hey, Johnny, I'd just like you to use this johnny at DickMasterson.com. You understand.

Oh, yeah. You know, because what we're doing is taking ourselves so seriously that you know if it wasn't such heavy branding on who you are you know? God why not the rip-a-verse calm? Johnny at the dick show I would and that's better. I mean it's still dumb right. It's like what retarded Why do I need to give you another thing to manage? Yeah, that sounds awful Because in the day the second it doesn't work then I have to hit you up you like hey dick my emails work He's got and you're gonna be like, you know what? I'm done with this email service. I don't even use mine, right?

I was never sorry map addresses to give out to everyone. Maybe that's true. He hit the 25 account limit for the low tier. Attached is the email I received before the trial. Well yeah, obviously you received the email that the trial was over before the trial. Stupid fuck. Yeah, trial still not happened. Completely blowing a hole in your argument.

I don't think you understand what arguments are, bud. No trial ever took place that required us to appear. I've never failed to appear. There was no case that I lost. Well, I mean, man, it just seems like you didn't go to court and you said Riley was a danger to your employees So by not going on court you put your employees in danger like you did I mean if you thought Riley was gonna rape Alex and laser eyes and you didn't go to court to put him away

It sounds like you're you know, civilly liable his silence is violence. You silence is violence, bro But that's what it sounds like to me. I'm no in California works, you know differently We're very protective of workers here, but I can't imagine Texas would be that. It's just like, if Riley shows up, you know, he's a crazy guy. He might show up with a novelty piano and drop it off the building and it will smash Alex's head

and his teeth will be replaced by piano keys. You'll be liable for that. Cause you could have put Riley in jail and you didn't. You bitched out. So if Riley comes there with a piano or a big boulder and drops it onto the heads of your employees as they walk out of the building, or he comes with a candy gram maybe, knock, knock, knock,

candy gram for Eric and it explodes. And your employees are- They can't invent the candy gram just for Eric. And their heads are blown up and their heads turn black and their mouths are on the back of their heads, you're gonna be liable for that, bro. You're gonna be civilly, maybe criminally liable for that. That's an expensive ortho maxofacial surgery

that it's gonna take to repair a mouth on the back of your head. I don't know if that's covered in your insurance plan. I don't know if you offer insurance, okay? No, he offers t-shirt sales in place of insurance. If Riley were to show up and he was to move the building and replace it with an acid factory, the warehouse,

and then paint a door on the front that says Ripaverse Publishing, and your employees would come to work and go inside and fall into an acid vat, you'd be criminally liable for that. Mm-hmm. OK? The skeletons would be in court suing you.

The melted skeletons, you know, big pile of goo. If Riley were to dig a giant hole, if he were to break into the RIP-A-Verse at night and dig and excavate, using his muscles and his spite, and he were to excavate a big giant hole that goes all the way down to the middle of the earth where there's devils dancing around lava, and your employees were to come out of the bathroom and go and hold up a little sign that says yikes, and then their bodies would fall and the heads would fall,

and then the sign would fall and they would fall into the lava and they would fall through the lava and their head would fall and the heads would fall, and then the sign would fall, and they would fall into the lava, and they would fall through the lava and their head would stick out in China, you'd be responsible for civilly and criminally liable for flying them back home. I mean, this is established. This is your, you established this.

You said you had to go after Riley to protect your employees and you didn't. You said you had to go after Riley to protect your employees. And you didn't. You bitched out. So if they get a piano dropped in their head, or if they fall through the earth and stick out of their heads in China, you're fucking liable, dude. You're liable in your own words.

You said it. I'm already thinking of, like, where can I rent a crane? And if at any time you suddenly realize that all of this is retarded, and you are just bombastically ass blown out by all of this, and none of us give a fuck about any of it, then at that moment you can step away and go, wow, I really fucked up.

I've been fucking up for a long time. I'm not gonna make any more documentaries with weird stock footage of guys pretending to hack and all this shit that only weird fucks respond to on YouTube and normal people seeing go, what is this fuck, what is this shit? This is weird. At that point you can go, I fucked up, I had a moment, I something- I had a something moment. I somethinged out. Whoops. My bad. I hate those guys, but everything I tried to do to fuck with them was stupid. That's all I had to say. That's totally- that's always on the table. Now, we'll still hate you. People will still make fun of you.

But it's not whatever this is. The two hardest words, man, is I'm sorry. I've abandoned my son! That! Watch There Will Be Blood and pay very close attention to the I've abandoned my boy scene. He doesn't think he abandoned the boy, he's just gonna say it. Just say you abandoned your son and you get all the oil you want. I abandoned my son.

Really say it. I abandoned my boy! Right? you want. I abandoned my son. Really say it. I ABANDONED MY SON RIGHT?! You'd think a performance artist would know something, a thing or two about performing. Show us some of those moves. Ooh, uh, ooh, uh. Was that system of a down? Yeah. Is that what it was? Let me pull that up in a second.

Okay. There was no case that I lost. You've lied about the entire thing. Okay man. Your comedic career peaked in a Pizza Hut commercial that didn't even air? Me? You were in a Pizza Hut commercial, it didn't even air? Yeah, I was. Well, a bunch of assholes called the, called the, they called the direct, the production agency and said I'm like a Nazi and stuff like that, so they pulled the commercial.

It's a funny commercial though. They had fucking Gorbachev in a commercial. And you're can't? I'm too much. Yeah. All right. This makes sense to me. I mean, I guess.

I think this show is probably the peak of my, it's a pretty good peak. I gotta say, this is a very successful show. Look at all this fan art we're surrounded by. This is incredible. Look, we're making our own... We've got stuffed animals of ourselves. That's how successful the show is.

Multiple, multiple. God. Your comedic career peaked in a Pizza Hut commercial that didn't even air. Wait, so how fucking funny was this Pizza Hut commercial? Where like people dying laughing, like actually dying? It was, let's see it. Let me see if I can find it.

It's funny. It's funny. It's a funny commercial. I did a great job. I did a great job. I've done a couple other commercials. I just don't talk about it because I didn't want a repeat of that.

I was on that show based on true events. Did you see that? Oh shit, that's right. That's a big, that's a major show. That's a good one. I was great that show based on true events. Did you see that? Oh shit, that's right. That's a big, that's a major show. That's a good one. I was great in that too. It's fun. I like, I like doing it, but you know, you have to really, you have to really try. It's a lot of effort.

It's a lot of effort. It's a lot of like going auditions and I'm not, I'm just not good at auditioning. I mean. I like doing low effort things. Yeah. I just, I don't have the time for it. Let's see. Me and my buddies were extras in the Angry Video Game Nerd movie just as a joke and man that was like the saddest

experience of our lives Yeah, yeah, here we go. Okay Here's the Pizza Hut commercial. Amazing. Oh They're doxing me. Oh Let's take a selfie. Okay We're gonna need the whole team. Move in. Try the beach. I need more light.

I need more hats. Danielle, show me passion. Show me love. Show me beauty. No one else selfies the Danielle. Why are we friends with her? That's awesome. Perfect.

And no one else pizzas the hut. That's great. I mean, That's great. I mean it's funny. For a Pizza Hut commercial, what do you expect? Yeah, it's fun. You do like a hundred takes. You sit around, they do every camera angle, you know.

You waste two whole days for thirty seconds of... Yeah, you do a hundred takes, and they say, Okay, go nuts, do it very subtle, try to do it like, you know, do it like Marlon Brando. Do all this, like, alright, well, I don't know. Whatever you guys, which, then they take whatever cut they want. Send out an Indian family to do it for you. Yeah.

And sometimes you get cut out. I did one, I was really happy about one commercial I did, but then I got cut out completely. I was like, I kind of knew what happened, too. Happens. Yeah, it's fun to do little weird shit like that. Yeah, I don't, I mean I don't know man. I don't really care about... Okay. It's a quick 300 bucks. I mean, fuck.

That was like 1300, maybe more. Oh shit, that's really good then. Yeah, it was good. Your comedic career peaked in a Pizza Hut commercial that you didn't even air Not even a single rep not even a not a single reputable film Show or stand-up special to your name. No, I have a show. Uh I'm not an actor Eric. I don't know why Well by those metrics, what what does he have? I don't have any paintings hanging in art galleries either

I haven't been to the moon. I don't have any paintings hanging in art galleries either. I haven't been to the moon I don't have any scientific Papers published invent anything did you yeah? No, what I have is a top is two top 1% podcasts that make money That have a lot of that have a lot of compelling Content that has reached worldwide audiences on a couple occasions most recently the Andrew Tate interview. That's a lot of compelling content that has reached worldwide audiences on a couple of occasions. Most recently, the Andrew Tate interview. That's a compelling interview where I managed to get a flat-out confession out of a notorious human trafficker.

And I wasn't even, like, trying. I just like getting bad guys to talk about things. We've had a lot of criminals call in and talk about a lot of things. That's my business. That's my business. Radio is my business, brother. I don't think you have a warehouse or 3D assets though.

And that's kind of- I don't have a headshot like I'm not doing. You don't have a cartoon version of you that doesn't look like you. So I don't know. So I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, no stand-up specials. I don't do stand-up at all. I don't think I'd be great. I don't think I would be good at it because I've never done it and I don't really think that you can just I don't think someone like Josh Denny his skill is you just like walk into I think think that's a lifetime of work and crafting.

What I do is radio. And that's what I think about. That's what I look at. That's where I try to test, you know, the boundaries of like conversation. That's where you, that's the tapestry. That's the, you know, I hate to sound like a cocksucker, but it's difficult, it's a difficult medium to do.

All right? Well, you've had a lot of practice well you've had a lot of practice I've had a lot of practice man or stand-up specialty name at best you're a gay podcaster wow he got he hits you with a retard and gay in the same same thing you built your entire brand piggybacking off a man you once idolized. Like a father. Eric, what would you know about having a father? What are you going to teach me how to not steal next?

Hey, this is a man that you idolize like a father. And what does that feeling feel like, Eric, father can you uh can you give me any more specifics I don't have a father It feels like it's like it feels yeah, I'll tell you what what having a father is is having an empty hole in your heart That can never be filled So you're constantly lashing out at people and trying to establish dominance over them because you have no anchor upon which to drive security of your masculinity.

Oh, wow. And that's what having a father, yeah. How do you, what's your relationship with your father? Like, well, it's good from my end. I don't know how it is from his end what it is because I haven't seen him in 30 years. Okay. I just think once you start hitting that character limit,

I know it disappears. When it says nobody's gonna see this? Yeah, after 140 characters, it should just be like, delete this. I do. Yeah. All right, it wasn't that. It's not, it needs a little bit more time in the oven.

It's too long. There's no levity, yeah. There's no levity in this, there's no levity here. You built your entire brand piggybacking of a man you once idolized like a father. Maddox. Parentheses? I don't know if parentheses were the right choice

for impact here. I mean, you're the writer. And when that dried up, you latched on to me. Now you hover, obsess, me how now you hover obsess lie Hover obsess lie now you hover obsess lie Doesn't rhyme Got a rhyme, bro. It's got a rhyme now you hover and love now you

You're either having and loving or you're Obsessing and stressing or you're lying and implying man. loving, or you're obsessing and stressing, or you're lying and implying, man. Now you obsess and stress. Lie and imply. Obsessed and pressed even. Hover and blubber. Oh, with your hovering and your blubbering.

Hovering and your blubbering. That's... Eric, you tried to put one of my friends in jail for making jokes at you. Um, you threatened to... A year ago, you threatened to sue me. You threatened to sue me and you said that it's... that even if you...

even if I won, it would still cost me. You threatened to take money from me. You threatened to sue me and said that I would have to burn an untold amount of money and you implied that it would be a lot on lawyers defending myself. Um, bro, I fucking hate you. Like, beneath the funny, I fucking hate you. You threatening me to take my money and you're getting fat morons like the quartering on board and all these other retarded whores.

Hey, let's get Dick. We're going to get them. If all of us band together, then surely we could get them and sue them and cost them big bucks. Hit them right in the wallet. Yeah. And then that just didn't work out because you're a retard. Do you remember that, Eric?

Do you remember threatening to sue me? Because I, Pepperidge Farmer remembers that. Let me see where the, where is it? Oh, he calls me the N-word again. Let's see here. Yeah, it was this, this video right here. Lawsuit. You talking about me? Well, this is serious.

200,000 people have seen it. Dick's responsible for me getting sued for stealing the church's trademark. Let's go after him. Yeah, Vito was very upset by that. He's very scared by it. I wasn't. Cause you know, like I said, I got that sickness. You've had the compulsionulsion is rising within me.

I just like... You just can't stress about this kind of shit. He's a fucking retard. Everyone's a retard. Like everyone that turned on Nick Reketa. All these fucking same clowns. Oh, you coke on your kids... You coke to your kids? You didn't even coke to his kids. I don't... I'm not saying... I don't know what he did. I don't know what's... Look.

Vito should know firsthand that the guy who has not achieved anything himself, that this guy is not gonna go out and do something about it either. Yeah, he's retarded. He's criminal. It's like, it's all, it's the dogs barking behind, little yappy dogs barking behind a fence type shit. He's a criminal thug. I'm not afraid of criminal thugs. Or cops, apparently, if he's gonna call them up. I'm not afraid of, uh, two-bit crooks, Eric and gang bangers. I'm not afraid of you gang banging scum Move creep Put your hands up just kidding ah put him back up. Yeah get out of here creep

Your comedic okay, you're just a gay podcaster, you built your entire brand, piggybacking off a man you once idolized like a father. Maddox. And when that dried up, you latched onto me. It hasn't dried up! Maddox is, to this day, being a huge retard. Uh, his- his documentary was not one year ago, the same time- during the same time you were acting like a huge retard! You guys were both acting like huge retards together. Here's me like the fucking Matrix. Wap wap wap wap wap wap both of you.

Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop right? Here's me, I'm Neo. Wap wap wap bop bop bop bop and then I have Vito. Slap bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop because your vod guys are fucking retarded! That's why! Wop-wop! Pfft! Pfft! Right?

Mr. Smith! Boop-bop-bop-bop! Both of them! Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop! Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-bop! Ha-ha-ha! Ffff! Crush!

Ha! There's no helping what can't be helped, man. Umm... And now while- And while you allegedly enjoy getting in, while you allegedly enjoy getting pegged in a cow costume, and blowing dudes at festivals, you'll need to find another bull for your affairs. You don't blow bulls, Eric, you idiot.

That's not how bulls work, Eric! You fucked up another metaphor, you stupid piece of shit. You don't find a bull to blow, you dumb motherfucker. You find a bull to fuck your wife. You don't go around blowing balls, you stupid fuck. You fuck up every single metaphor because you are dumb, because you can't write. That's why your comics suck, because you can't write. You've never practiced, you've never tried, you've never honed your craft, you have no

respect for it. You don't take criticism, but more than all that, you're fucking stupid, Eric! You are stupid! You got into college because you're a black guy that runs fast. That's why. You're fucking stupid, Eric! You're, you are stupid! You got into college because you're a black guy that runs fast. That's why. And the white people around you who let you in so they could win athletic events have glazed you your entire life, giving you a false sense of superiority, of your being

giving you a false confidence in your own abilities of which there are none! You are dumb. You can't write. Your business is failing because of you. My business is thriving. Because this is good radio. This is not good comics. It's good radio. This is not good comics. It's good radio. You brought a comic book to a radio fight.

That's not smart, buddy. That's not smart. You wrote a 5,000 word cry post 10 minutes before my show. That's not smart, Eric. That's not smart. Who's gonna be the first one to turn all of his cope posts into comics themselves?

Like a comic of him sitting at the computer and hammering it all out. You know, I had to stop doing bench press. Really? My shoulder was killing me. It's been hurting for years, three years, kind of off and on. I couldn't even do this anymore.

Daily life, day by daily, it's just getting painful. Painful. So I gave up benching, I'm selling the bench, I gave it up, stopped doing it. I still do tons of Pilates, you know? But my core is unbelievable. You could probably crash a car into my core.

My legs couldn't handle it. I would go flying, but the core would be undamaged. Right. Can't do bench press anymore. Can you believe that? And somehow I'm still this aggressive, even without... Man, I just gave a bad pressing because I got the high score.

I was like, well, I already carved my initials into it. What else do I got to prove? And the most I ever benched was 340, 345. I never quite hit 350. And I'm going to lie about it for the... You're gonna be the thing you're gonna lose sleep over You know what they put they put on my I logged into my my Keck medical What a little yeah, I logged into my Keck medical portal To get to get like the MRI results on my shoulder

They just say it's fucked. This bitch was hot as hell. She used an ultrasound to give me an injection. It feels a lot better. I don't think it's the injection though. I think it's just not doing bench press anymore. I logged into the Keck Medical Portal because it always sends me an alert.

You got an alert on your Keck Medical Portal. We can't send it to you because of privacy. Like you really can't. So I can log in and I can reset my password with my email, but you can't send me. You don't see the problem with that. I know I got a real bad noticing problem, but you don't see the problem with that. So I log in and it's impossible to navigate. know you can't see what the hell is what yeah and I accidentally clicked on I clicked on profile first like maybe it's here oh maybe it's over here I don't know where to go here maybe it's over here I clicked on profile and it says my name says height 512 I said you got fucking kidding it said 5 it said It said 5-11.7. It was like 5-11.97. I'll go log in and see.

But it was 5-11.97. I'm like, are you serious? BAAAAA! That's fucked. That made me upset. This, this is retarded. You built, oh yeah, okay. Any while, while you allegedly enjoy getting, why don't you just say I enjoy getting pegged in a cow costume? Why'd you say allegedly? It's not a crime, Eric. Well he doesn't want to get sued back. You know, you always gotta throw the allegedly and supposedly in there. Getting pegged? You can, anyone always get to throw the allegedly and supposedly in there. Getting pegged?

You can say, anyone can say that. Yeah. You don't need to put allegedly on it. You dumb jacky fucking Cochran ass motherfucker. He allegedly likes iced coffee. You allegedly dilate your ass in a whole lamerectum with a peggular devise in a cow costume and blowing dudes at festivals. You'll need to find another bull for your affairs.

He's just like, well, if I say cow and then bull, the same, he's like, that's a bar. Uh-huh. That's like a Old MacDonald. I'm not interested. Eric, you're clearly interested. You've been crying about my review for three years. You have been crying about me making fun of your comic and not even really that badly.

I just said it needs a second draft and that it's like, you got to read Dave Snyder's script writing book, Save the Cat. You got to read, you got to break it down like with the 40 index cards, like basic screenwriting shit, basic storytelling stuff. Find any Jewish person who's not an accountant. Find any Jewish person that's not involved in law and accounting, because they're different. You gotta find the creative side of the brain.

Yeah, you gotta find a creative one and just ask him, like just ask him to tell a story. And they do it, it's part of their culture. They like Jews are incredible storytellers. They have always been, it's a very important, I'm not, this isn't, I don't know. Maybe this is a race to say. It's just a very important thing about their culture

is telling stories and like, it's tradition. It's how they've maintained social cohesion for thousands of years is their ability to tell narratives that last throughout time. So it's very important to them and they teach it, they teach at an early age and genetically they're predisposed to it Find one give him my Psalm and he'll say oh, hey, this is the this is this is the most

Fakakta piece of mishugan I've ever read It's bupkis this is bupkis bubby what you've given me is bupkis And you're gonna say yeah, but you know, what about you give you find a bullet of fan? He goes Oh, what am I? What am I hearing here? This is further Bupkis the further adventures of further adventures of Bupkis Okay

You you got your homosexual ego bruised. Well, he already called you gay Why is he gonna like make it like a technical thing now? Well, he already called you gay. Why is he gonna like make it like a technical thing now? You're skipping over the cow thing and going back to homosexual, isn't that kind of like you up the ante? So you have to keep upping the ante? You don't you don't up the ante and then go back I want to see what he says at that by the end of this, right? You got your you got your homosexual ego bruised One video of me not even mentioning you Covering your nonsense review has sent you into a two-year meltdown Eric this is this is funny to everyone. Mm-hmm

Ethan van skiver is making I'm actually jealous very jealous of how much Envious of how much money Ethan van Skyver's making out, he's making assloads of money. As he should. Streaming, oh he's an incredible streamer man. I'll put reruns of his show on. Oh, yeah. I usually do not listen to live streams like when they're done, cuz it's like, eh, it's not live. It loses the magic. But I'll put, if I miss his show, Ethan Vanascyver's, I'll put it on the next day, cause he's like, he's just like so, I don't know, there's something,

he's so soothing and good at telling, good at like building a narrative, and he talks genuinely about art and story, which I find very refreshing, and there's a paucity of, there's not enough of it, you know? And he's so, so, he's prolific, he's not enough of it, you know? And he's so, so, he's prolific. He's done so many things, you know?

I didn't know this when we first met him, but he's made so many contributions to like the DC Marvel comic world. That's awesome. It's crazy. It's really, it's crazy that he's even on stream with these other guys. And he's so much more talented than them,

but they still share the same size box. Right. Which is, and I'm not talking about his friends, like the guys, like, you know, these assholes. His friends are all talented. I'm sure his friends are all equally talented. I just don't know, you know, I don't know who they are. Well, the thing with EVS is he wants to be there and it shows.

Yes. Like he's excited, like he cares, he cares about what he does. He's not running a business, he's making art. Right. If he is running a business, it doesn't show. And that's the art. Yeah, you can't have your business be- You can't be businessman.

Even Trump was not, do having all gold, you're fired. Like that's not business. Wrestling Vince McMahon is not business. He's just like the business guy. You're fired. Like that's not business. Wrestling Vince McMahon is not business. He's just like the business guy. You're fired. Fuck you. Gold. Boom.

Supermodel's like, that's not business, man. It's like the 80s interpretation of like answering the big chunky photo. Like slamming things on your back. Who is this? You're fired. Whoa, that guy's serious about business. Wow.

You got your homosexual. Is the sound okay? Sounds good. You got your homosexual, is it sound okay? Sounds good. You got your homosexual ego bruised. He should say, he should throw an I pity the fool in there. You know? That would have been, see if he would have made this funny, well like intentionally funny,

then I think he would have got people on his side. He should have, one thing about having a big histrionic meltdown in the form of an essay is that you really got to make sure that the punctuation and spacing is on point. That's... I can't stress that enough because that's... Very often that's the difference between a manifesto and like a research paper is simply that there is, if there's a paragraph, there's a line between them, an empty line, that m dashes are used sparingly and correctly as well as parentheses, like you don't see, whoa, what's that print? What's this parentheses for? That's odd, that should be a comma. Everybody knows a comma. You got your homosexual ego bruised. One video of me not even mentioning you don't use all caps. For example. Yeah.

Unless you're going for meltdown, caps away. Oh, then he's. Caps ahoy. Full on melty. All caps ahead, right? Fully capping. Fully capping. Fully capping.

Otherwise no. Yeah. Otherwise no. More caps for sale, even. He's in there. Covering your nonsensical review has sent you into a two-year meltdown where you've wasted thousands of hours crying about me.

Thousands? Let's see. There's not even 1,000 episodes yet. Let's see. There's not even a thousand episodes yet. Let's take this, let's break this down. Biggest problem is that it was two years ago that I did that review? I think so. Probably two years, okay that's 104 weeks. Wow, two years has passed quickly.

Time goes fast when you're constantly fighting online. God, I'm not even constantly fighting online and time's going fast. What the fuck? Uh, 104, 104 weeks, that's two episodes of this show, two episodes of Biggest Problems, that's 208. And every show is about three hours. So that's 624 hours. Even if I was crying on every show. Oh, I forgot bonus episodes. So that's about 20 bonus episodes. Those are about two hours.

So 40, so 664, oh, almost 666. 664 hours, that's not even 1,000. That's not even, we're not even approaching comma territory yet. That's barely a Parthenon. That's barely a Parthenon. That is barely a Parthenon. You got your homosexual ego bruised. One, oh yeah, I already read that.

You can dish out critiques, but fall apart when yours get dismissed. Eric, you can't really dismiss a critique. Like, it's just a review so other people can see it and look at what you wrote and then see my review and say like, oh yeah, okay, I kind of agree with that or I don't. Like you don't, you are not required. You make art and then people dissect it

and then people consume it. You make art, like I make the show. People are free to discuss it, comment on it, have all these crazy theories or accurate theories, you know, take clips of it, make fun of it, all of that. That's just like the artistic process. Yeah.

I don't, I'm not, it doesn't, it's not- It's how people get involved. Consent is given by me producing it and putting it out there. I don't get to go, that's, hey, you're not allowed to talk about, you're not allowed to listen to it this way. That's never worked. It's like stupid. It's delusional. What you're saying is delusional. You being unimportant irritates you.

I think we're about the same size. He could have just said being unimportant irritates you. The you in front of there is like, we get it. That's implied if you just put. Are we gonna edit this? We have a real writer on staff. You being unimportant irritates you. So being unimportant irritates you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but like you being unimportant. Yeah, being unimportant irritates you. So being unimportant irritates you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but like you being unimportant. Yeah, being unimportant irritates you. Yeah, but you being unimportant irritates you. Well, yeah. You being unimportant is irritating. That doesn't have the same punch to it.

Being unimportant. That irritates me. That irritates you. Good point, Johnny. Good call out. I don't know too much, but I know something What really makes you a hoe? Oh Oh, ho is he calling me an n-word again? Oh, it's all this started

What really makes you a hoe is how you operate through others using your pet retard to do your dirty work What which one Yeah, like hey, wait a second. You're not some enemy of mine. You're just a low-effort content pharma, desperate to leech off someone with no interest in engaging in this clown show. Eric, you didn't need to read my review at all.

Like, you didn't need to read the review and make fun of it and say I'm an N-word and like, say it's all retarded. I mean, if you're saying that I'm retarded like obviously I'm gonna say well no there's you have huge problems with your script and you and and you're kind of a douchebag as well. Uh that's why you run from people like Pod Awful who actually have the time to clap back. You need to make another Maddox to stay relevant. Oh my god this relevant shit bro. I'm as relevant as you could fucking be. I'm a f- I'm the fucking top of the relevant world, bro.

You look on- if you got binoculars and you look to the very top to see who's on top of Mount Relevant, it's fucking me. Hi! I would wave back, hello! Hello! Here's me, top of Mount Relevant, where I've been this whole, hello, hello. Here's me, top amount relevant, where I've been this whole fucking time, bro. The very fucking top, where my buddies are going to the White House,

getting presidential dark maga medals. That's where I am, way up here. Hi, hello retard. Here's me up on top amount relevant, getting followed by the comms director of the Attorney General of Florida, there's you making weird Simpsons colored Christian anime way down there in Retardville, making shitty comics that I don't even think you like. There's no way he could like this. No.

Because nobody- you need another Maddox to stay relevant. I have plenty Because nobody actually cares about you You can't carry anything by yourself He sounds like a guy who's got dicks chucked in his ass man, I Mean it's not like anyone wants it but he got I can't carry anything by myself nothing mm-hmm I don't know dude I think he got you on that one he He's like, you know what? If he's still reading this, this will be the thing that blows him out. Is this a confessional?

Like, people usually say that the thing, sometimes people say the things that bothers them, you know? Yeah. Especially when it's like, what are you talking about, man? You're a 40 plus year old. I'm 44. Did you not know? 44 is worse than 40 plus. 40 plus makes it seem like I just turned 40.

40 plus is like you can live in a certain neighborhood now. Like, oh, this is the 55 plus community. Right, right. What do you mean plus? What do you mean, plus? What do you mean, plus? 40 plus year old, unaccomplished, unfunny shock jock. So you do know what I do. So you do know...

So you do know what I do. Okay. Unfunny shock jock, who gossips like a schoolgirl for engagement. You hide behind the comedian tag to excuse your lies and retardation. Now he's getting into the Mr. T stuff. You lied about Seymour fucked up punctuation. Look, how can anyone take this seriously if the punctuation is fucked up, Eric?

How can, how are you making comics when you can't even control the line spacing of this insane tweet? Mm-hmm. Behind- of this insane essay, tagged to excuse your lies and retardation. You lied about the pull-up narrative. No one thinks- no one thinks that you meant pull up and have a nice conversation. They think you're an angry black guy and you lost your temper and resorted to your gang banging shit That's what they think everyone knows what pull-up means. Mm-hmm. Stupid You lied about the pull-up narrative claiming that I aimed that at you yet still sent a pet retard

Wait, what? You lied about pull-up claiming I arrived I that at you, yet still sent a pet retard. Are you saying, so you did aim, so you're saying you did aim that at me? And then I sent Riley? So are you saying you did say pull up? I like that he thinks you are capable of telling Riley what to do.

That's just so insane. That's the most insane part of all this. I don't think anyone could tell Riley what to do. No capable of telling Riley what to do. That's just so insane. That's the most insane part of all this. I don't think anyone could tell Riley what to do. No one could tell him what to do. You know that right away. You lied about your pet retard's case. You lied about our charity involvement. Even going so far as to tag the IRS and contact the charity like a Karen.

Injecting yourself into something that had nothing to do with you. Where there was no malpractice. Malpractice? What are you a practice- what are you a doctor? Well someone prescribed it to him. Malpractice? You got insurance for that malpractice? Is this Pete practice?

It's a suit. Are you Columbo again? What do you mean malpractice? Where there was no mal- you mean malfeasance? Is that the word- is that the mal word you're looking for, uh, Soul Train? Malphyses, actually. Malphyses. There was no malphyses. Oh wait no- So you must absceses.

Malphyses is one of his new characters, right? Yeah, it's Shitman. He lives in a sewer. I think that guy already exists. He's a shit man, he lives in a sewer, he powers up by shitting like Super Bowl halftime. He's like super powered demigod, right? Like go power over 9000 with all the feces. Yeah. It's like I'm powered by your hot wings, right? Powered up. Get him, Malfeces.

What a, what a stupid idiot. This is the crescendo of your ang, of your, of your pissed off, this is Sunday morning, by the way, I would say, son, you have to realize he's doing this on Sunday morning. He woke up- God's day. Sunday morning, this Christian man who's been sued by a Christian ministry

for stealing from them, not beating the stereotypes there. Not beating those allegations. And he decided in using the Lord's Day, me, I don't give a fuck. I don't believe, you know, I don't believe in anything, you know this, but he believes in God and his belief in God led him to this anger, this furious apoplectic fit of a post, which crescendos in this excoriation of me, where he doesn't even use the right words, son. This is what I'm trying to show you. This is what daddy does. Look at this. Look at where this ends. The coin has arrived here the same as me, so what is the purpose?

You, as soon as your son is born, you have to start talking like Foghorn Leghorn the whole time. Yeah, boy, I say boy. Now you see, malpractice. That's something doctors do, Eric. Do you need a proctologist or something? What is happening? To find his skull. Is your head lodged so far up your ass you need a proctologist to get it out of it? I think him and Edie Amin for an IQ test.

Please take an IQ test. Well I mean you kind of are every day with this shit. You lied about our charity involvement. No, um, no you can't be, you can't be charging whatever and pocketing the profit. I mean you can but it's a scam. You can. Legally, I don't the profit. I mean you can, but it's a scam. You can. Legally, I don't think you can do what you were doing legally, which is charge different amounts for people and pocketing the profit.

Funny as that is. Funny as that is. Charity laws are already pretty loosey goosey. Wrong kind of crime, yeah. I think the way you were doing it's illegal though. Definitely scamming either way. Where there was injecting yourself into something that had nothing to do with you. Well, uh, yeah, I don't care. I just come at whoever I- I go at whoever I want, I don't-

What are you talking about? You called me an N-word! It doesn't have to have anything to do with you if it's online. Yeah. What are you talking about? What do you mean it has nothing to do with me? Oh yeah, he did he did call you an inward. Yeah, did that have anything to do with me? You the cock crowed three times maybe his like computer was dim when he saw a picture you or something This fucking relate does like Marvel movies have anything to do with you assholes You're on there every day crying about them going after the act

I mean, I don't care going after the actresses and the people that write them. Does that have anything to do with you? No. Fucking idiot. It's- it's just a fuck- just crybabies. Oh, why are you involving yourself in my scams? Because they're scams, bro. You're shitbag. All for content.

Because you're boring as shit. Okay. How come the only video you have that has views over 100,000 is about me? In two years. Why is that then? Who's relevant? Who's relevant? See, that's why he's trying to make more videos about you.

He's trying to get those numbers up. Yeah, that's what this post is about. Because I'm relevant. He's... Because I'm the bad guy. He's the hanger. He's- Cause I'm the bad guy. He's the hanger on, he's the barnacle. You're the barnacle. You're the barnacle on my malpractice, bitch.

You're riding my enigma. Yeah. You see how they both fuck up the same things? Metaphors fucked up. You need to find another bull to blow. That's not what- It's like- Prep, maybe that would have been, I mean...

Yeah, when you read that, it's like, well, if you can't get this, then what else is wrong? What else is wrong? Exactly. What other lateral thinking has gone wrong? He had all this steam built up, and none of it... Eric, you should have jacked off before making... before hitting posts. That's what you should have done. You should have written all this stuff, saw you were letting out some steam, and then said, you know what, I'm going to go jack off just as a precautionary measure, just in case

I was stoking the fire and not letting off the steam. It's never a bad option to check for some mid-nut enlightenment. It never is. Never a bad... Cause sometimes, then you might go jack off, you're like, I can't even jack off, cause you're so angry.

That should be a red flag. Yes. For you. You gotta know these things. You know, I'm 40 plus, so I know these things. Been around the globe a few times. I've had my share of fuck ups. As all for content, because you're boring as shit. Because you're boring as shit.

Wow, he's got the same as shit thing too. That's cool as shit. You're boring as shit. Same guys, man. Two peas in a pod. And yet, we're still here. Still building. That pisses you off. I just, I know there's people listening. I don't want them to think that their audio has gone out.

Just... That's pisses me off. That's pisses you off. That's pisses you off, folks. It's like a brand. It's like now, that's pisses you off. Bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada That's pisses you off, folks. It's like a brand. It's like now THAT'S pisses you off. That's insane. You can't be a writer and let that one- Well, he might be a writer, but he's sure as fuck

What are they selling? What does pisses you off sell? Pisses you off, um- They sell- What do they sell that- It sells sodas that the tab breaks off before it opens. Now that's pisses you off! That's pisses you off. Here, that's pisses you off sodas. Our tabs never break.

You go to start your car and you're running late for work and the battery purposely is disconnected. That's pisses you off batteries. They make stuff that breaks on purpose. That's pisses you off. It pisses you off. It pisses you off. That's pisses you off. That's pisses you off. You pisses you off. It pisses you off. That pisses you off. That pisses you off. You go to grab a paper cup, you know like a McDonald's cup

or something, you pick it up and the bottom falls out on you. It pisses you off. That pisses you off. And even every slogan is like Miss This Has Bad Grammar. Yeah. Cause that's the brand name. It's like you know what makes me a rage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what that's pisses you off You know what you know that's pisses me off You know I woke up this morning and you know my alarm clock didn't go off that's pisses me the fuck off Stubbed my toe in the corner of my bed. That's pisses you off. That's pisses me off. Once I realized I was like you know what? That's pisses me off. And there's a little guy in a suit that's pisses you off. Once I realized I was like you know what that's pisses me off. And there's a little guy in a suit that's pisses you off. He comes out of these just hops around the corner.

That's pisses you off. And then you go oh of course. Maybe I could be in a commercial for that that everyone could ruin. Well that would be I think that would qualify as that pisses you off. Oops oops oops okay wait. qualify as that pisses you off. Uh, oops, oops, oops. Okay, wait. You're boring. You boring as shit. And yet, we're still here. Still building. Eric, I- That's- That pisses you off. I don't- Yeah, it kinda- I do-

It does annoy me that... Your shitbag fans who all like just love what you're doing with what you did with Riley and they support that kind of shit. It does annoy me. It does pisses- it's- that does pisses me off. That you're making content that emboldens them. I do hate them. Uh, I do hate them as people. Um, just- just like I hate you. Uh, but... That's great radio.

That's the rub. That pisses me off. It is great. Your comics are great to read. The fighting is fun. The fighting is fun and the comics are bad. And it's more fun to...

It's more fun to fight about things from a position of what you're making sucks what you're making just sucks and you're bad at it but you think you're good versus like people going after my job and shit like this is this is way more fun he fucked up the number one just like oh, okay. These people don't like it. I should probably fix this then yeah Okay, let's see here. You're a reckless drug head drug head And what is is that a word? drug dash head

Like a pothead, but a drug head is this from a night- is this from Reifer Madness? Yeah, I think he placked the wrong one of us there. Is that how you talk- is that a black thing? You drugheads? Hey, you- like a drug addict you mean? Drughead. Drug fiend? Drug head? That means you're like, like into it, right? Like when you're talking about about music, like all the old heads are listening to this, you know, just like. An egghead, a drug head.

Cone heads. So I say, son, if you're gonna make up a word, it's gotta be, you know, It's gotta be good. I say boy. I say boy, if you're gonna make up a word, you gotta like Shakespeare, amazing. Yeah, that's great. It's fun to say, rolls off the tongue, it's not confusing.

Drug head. Drug head. Like when I say liquor head, everyone understands it's a joke. Pothead, but liquor. Cause I don't wanna say, alcoholic. I don't want to admit to the real thing here. You are reckless drug head. I don't know if I'm that reckless, man.

I seem to be, I'm not getting... I'm not under investigation for... I didn't go to court for anything. Yeah, you don't have a comic that did such abysmal numbers that your warehouse is on the line now? Low impulse control degenerate, surrounded by people who reflect the same traits, constantly running from responsibility

Bro, are you talking to your dad? What responsibility? Why was responsibility the first one? What responsibility have I run from? Well, you know, just constantly Well, you know, you're just constantly writing. Hahaha! Eric, I actually read criticism of me. I mean, I don't even, even stuff that I don't really have a responsibility to do. It just, I'm pretty reliable with bonus episodes and episodes in general, no matter what.

You are reckless, drug head, low impulse control degenerate, surrounded by people who reflect the same traits. Oh, you mean like internet people? You go around starving yourself all day because you're like, oh, hunger's an impulse. Like I can't, you know, I can't give into these low impulses. Low impulse control degenerate, surrounded by people. He's talking like fucking Jackie,

what was the guy from Seinfeld, the lawyer? Jackie something? Yeah. Jackie Charles. You know, reckless, drug head, low impulse control, degenerate, surrounded by people who reflect the same traits, constantly running from responsibility. Stability?

Bro, this is stable as fuck. Yeah, okay. Wow, this is stable as fuck. Uh, yeah, okay. Decency, oh yeah. Put that on my tombstone. A love of decency did not abide in this man. And anything resembling a meaningful legacy. I have a son! What the fuck are you talking about?

And I'll give you that much. In that regard, you're more of an N-word than I can... Oh, again. Called me an N-word the fourth time. So what he's doing is he's saying, Hey, look at all these bad traits, and this is how I feel about a word used against my own people. Wow, bro. And I'm going to subject you to that. You know who's the real N-word? You. Well, I'm not black. So... Yeah, technically, bro. And I'm gonna subject you to that. You know who's the real N-word, you. Well, I'm not black, so.

Yeah, technically, yeah. I'm not. Yeah. Actually, it's you. Let me just stop you right there. Let me just stop you right there, Eric. You see this? Yeah.

You see this? You see this is the same color as that, the both the front and the back? He can call it to you and it's funny. call it to him not so funny my bank account right You are reckless drug head low impulse control degenerate surrounded by people who reflect the same traits constantly running from responsibility Bro this is like an angry black woman barking at like a Quincy you run it from your responsibilities What the fuck you talking about response like taxes like

the house owner in Tom and Jerry what are you talking about responsibilities yeah this is my mortgage they take that money themselves. That... My taxes? I have an extension. Hell yeah.

Fuck them. Are you paying your taxes, Eric? Or, how's your responsibilities doing? Are you paying your taxes over there? I wonder what- Mojumbo? I wonder what meaningful legacy he thinks he's gonna, like, one-up you on. My legacy's dope as fuck. That guy was a fucking asshole to everybody. He was a huge fucking asshole. Huge.

Mm-hmm. Hahaha! People would spur the fuck out. He would fuck with them a little bit and they would fucking- they would lose their minds on Sunday morning. They would lose it. See that's awesome. That is awesome. Yeah for the first five years of my life I was raised by Foghorn Leghorn, then a mysterious man.

He actually doesn't have that accent. I didn't know until I listened to his show that he didn't really sound like that. It's really fucked up. It fucked me my whole life. He's never even been to the South. What the fuck legacy are you? What is a legacy are you talking about man?

You're dead and you rot in the fucking ground. That's it. He got to number three and everything's already You know that nosedive is yeah. Yeah, he's better try it start trying to pull up To pull up on that suck lever Pull it down. Yeah, so the ship goes the airship goes up into the air instead of down into suck down and I'll give you that much in in that regard you more of an N word than I could ever is this like then I could ever be this was dude he's really proud of this yeah even though lack of a line right there mm-hmm and so how long do you think he spent editing and re-editing this?

On another app, clearly. Yeah. This is his notes app. And in that, and in that, and I'll give you that, and I'll give you that much. M dash for no reason. Mm-hmm. In that regard, you mow of a N word than I could ever be. Nah, I don't think so. I don't know, dude. He did a system of a down cover, and that's perhaps the whitest thing I've seen in my whole life.

This is the one time I'm addressing you. You need me, not the other way around. Nah, Eric, there's plenty of retards. Don't worry. I'll find another retard, and then I'll have three, four, five retards spending off at the same time. I'll testify against Andrew Tate. I'll get a four, five retards spending off at the same time. I'll testify against Andrew Tate, I'll get a hundred more fucking retards. Retards are a dime a dozen, alright? Don't, don't worry, don't worry your pretty little head about it. Don't, don't misspell any more words, buddy. Just stick to comics.

Where's the system of a down thing? Let's find that and watch it. I feel like that's the only proper response. Yeah, that was, uh, that was pretty bad. System of a down. Does anybody have it? Anybody in the Discord? Rumble died. Oh.

Who's got Eric's? I see chats. I see chats coming in. That was his Oscar winning speech., geez. Jump to present. This is a lot of chats going on. Wow. Can someone give me the system, Eric, give me Eric's system of a down thing, video? Well, you know, Dick, I got to mention too, I don't believe in God, but when it comes to my strict, I don't work on Shabbos, very strict about that.

That's why I have Sunday's episode. Oh yeah. Sean was too. Sean was too. Okay, yeah, somebody give me that. Is this it? Yeah, here we go. Oh God.

This is the guy calling me gay? Is this him? Yeah. Rolling suicide. I like that there's a rolling keyboard in the background. Yeah, get into it. Yeah. Airbrushed skull shirt. Classic. Yeah.

The beanie. How do you do, fellow children, you know? The beanie. How do you do, fellow children, you know? Uhhhh... Hahahaha! Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah! You inward! Oh yeah! Pop it! Pop it! Pop it, Eric! Pop it!

Get that white rage! Get that white teenage angst! Coming full and through you, my brother! My brother! Wake up! Grab a brush and put a little make up! I'm just gonna paint it with a shake up! Why you think you can't just put it on the table? Here you go creating another fable, you wanted to! Grab a brush and put a little make up, you wanted to!

I'm just gonna paint it with a shake up, you wanted to! Why you think you can't just put it on theable, you wanted to Grab a bunch of pull-a-little makeup, you wanted to Mothers trust a painter with a stake up, you wanted to Mothers need the kids up on the table, you wanted to Who I don't think you trust In My Self-righteous suicide I Right

When angels deserve to DIE Who's this? Who's this? When angels deserve to die! Hold this! Hold this! Die! When angels deserve to die! WAKE UP! Grab a bunch of puzzle little make up Have it translated with a shake up Want to leave the kids to put on the table

Here you go, create another fable, you want it to Grab a bunch of puzzle little make up, you want it to Have this translated with a shake up, you want it You want to Do I don't think you So bright you see Is he doing a Peck Bundy impression with the fuck When angels deserve to die Is he doing a Peck Bundy impression? What the fuck is this? Suicide I cry

When angels deserve to die Oh no Oh No Why have you forsaken me? In your eyes forsaken me In your eyes forsaken me In your eyes forsaken me Trust in my self-righteous suicide Oh yeah, throw it, throw it buddy! Crank it, crank it! Crank that mic, crank that mic Eric!

When angels deserve to die Crank that mic buddy, crank it! In my self-righteous suicide Cry, cry, cry When angels deserve to die spectacular now I did notice I know you typed in on YouTube us Eric July system of down but the real video title was Eric July Darius Rucker audition tape what you know the guy from hootie and the blowfish yeah yeah it's like he's trying to be him or something what this is chop. No, that's the joke. He's trying to beat Darius Rucker Jr. or something.

Are you telling me his music career didn't take off? Hootie? No, Eris. Man. What was this? Is he in a tight space? Is he in a really confined area? It's either like one of those videos

where you've been on Instagram or whatever too long and you start getting all the cringe posts. Well, we've been on the internet too long, Dick. We gotta turn it back off. Well, I don't know how to respond to that. That guy thinks you're gay. That guy thinks you're gay. That guy thinks my legacy is a joke.

We got Mr. In the Summer of My Mind over here. Okay. I love the first thing too. My comic book company, the Rip-A-Verse. That's the first thing in the description of this video. I don't even know if I can read these comments. I'm too blown, I'm too disturbed by this. He blew us out, man. I'm blown out, I'm completely blown out, furiously blown out. It's completely blown out, furiously blown out.

Woman alert. Woman alert. Woman alert. That was, man. Was that the best, was that the best take? That's one of those things where you'd hit mute in the control room and you look at the assistant and you go, how long is this session supposed to be? You're an audio engineer.

What would you give that out of five Mickey's? Out of five Mickey's? Yeah. That would be no Mickey's. That would be a goofy. That would be, ooh. Law and order, female cop parks on the railroad tracks with a suspect handcuffed inside.

Oh, okay, female cop. Female cop alert. Can you turn that down a little bit? What's going on? We'll explain everything in a second. Can I get my cell phone? No one else is in the truck, sir. Can I please get my cell phone?

We'll get it for you, too. Don't worry about your cell phone. Please. Where are you taking me? We're taking you to the car. Why? What? Do you have anything on you that's going to poke me, stick me, hurt me? No ma'am, but can I please get my cell phone?

We'll get your cell phone in a second. Is there any weapons in the car? No ma'am, there's nothing on it. There's no weapons in the car? Alright, come on. Get to the, get to the part. Get to the alert part. What's going on? Ma'am, what's going on? I'll tell you in a second. I'm so confused. I will get your cell phone for you.

Oh, she's, the cop car's on the train tracks right now? Toss it out the window? She could have out that window, but... Oh, there's a train hooting in the background! No, that's a... That's her cell phone going off. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! No, that's a... That's her cell phone going off. Oh my God, they left her in the car?

Where's your car? Wow. That's a new low. Oh, wow. Zero situational awareness. Oh my God. They got her out. Wow. When a woman cop man, life is... the contest is uncertain. Anything could happen. A woman cop approach apprehends you, you could get hit by a train. Look, woman apprehends you bad. Cop apprehends you also bad. Woman cop?

Man. And the vehicle is involved? A woman that doesn't even intend you harm, it could something horribly wrong could happen. You're already inviting- A cop wants to hurt you. You combine the two and you could be hurt in a fantastic way. Oh my goodness.

As seen here. We gotta do something about this. Give that little brain cancer kid her job. Yes. He's no nonsense. He would have been right on that bumper, man. He could pull people over and give them, uh, give them lessons about Trump. Shit. A little fucker.

A little fucker he is. All right, this is, uh, another, another woman alert. Okey-dokey. Woman alert. Shark. Woman alert. Okey dokey. Woman alert. Shark. Woman alert.

Shark bites off woman's hands as she tries to take a selfie with it. Oh, okay. Sweet. What does she need those for? Shark bites off tourists hands as she tries to take a selfie on the Caribbean beach. He was actually the shark from the bear.

He's like, I need hands. And then. Wait, what? No, the chef. Oh, I don't watch that show. Is it good? I watched part of it in a haze. Yeah.

And all I remember is he just frantically is like, I need hands, I need hands. And I'm like, oh. That's his name is the shark and the bear. They're all like animal names. Well, no, the bear is the show. The bear is the show. Yeah, I'm just talking about shark.

You're talking about this shark. Eat hands, yeah. Bro. The shark bit off the hands of a woman. They're trying to take things from me. I hate, I hate. I know. Man, if we don't, if we get stuck with this time change

shit after Trump is done, then I'm out. I'm never, I'm never caring about politics again. If we don't get this daylight savings shit fixed up. This shit got me off my game today. Then I'm done. Mm-hmm. That's what Eric woke up without another, without an hour of sleep and he decided to throw

a big fit online, act retarded. Call me the N-word again. Again. How many times am I gonna get called the N-word? You need a little counter. When's the last time I've been called the N-word? Yeah. It's been zero days since I've been called the N-word.

Four hash marks now. I'm gonna call his mom. You know your son called me the N-word? What the hell? What? Yeah. What is that? Why'd you raise him? On Sunday. On Sunday.

Lord's Day. He called me the N-word. He didn't even... I'm not even black. Yeah. He didn't even admit it. I'm not even black. Yeah. And he describes what an N-word would be.

Yeah. Well, that's the worst part. Dodging your responsibilities. What are you talking about? That's the worst part. Making fun of you. That's it. Yeah.

He had to throw a whole group of people under the bus. Really? This is how youaron Enward describes what he thinks Enward are. People are like, what the hell? He's just talking about me. 55 year old woman who's understood to be Canadian. Oh good, fuck you, fuck Canada.

Had only strayed a few yards into the water when she was attacked last Friday. According to the local authorities, she attempted to engage with the shark when the six foot long predatory fish struck off Thompson's Cove Beach in the cur... it's understood that she had one of her arms Amputated before the wrist and the other below the wrist and the other halfway up her forearm

Damn, it got both hands It was a bull shark Man, Sean, we really need Sean right now. Yeah. I need a 30 minute- Can we do a phone a friend? Yeah. Explanation of what bull sharks are and how they're... Here's how he would do it. He goes, Whew, bull sharks are rough, man. Mm-hmm. They don't fuck around. They don't mess around.

He'd give us the skinny on it. You're not supposed to... People think that, you know, they're friendly, but... They'll take your hand off. They will take both your hands. Take both your hands off. Was both their hands on the same arm? You'd think.

Her horrified husband rushed, it should say her horrified and annoyed husband rushed into the water in the hopes that he could drive the shark away. Yeah, there goes your vacation right there. There goes your hands. You gotta catch that shark, man. Rip the hands out

Good news I scared the shark away. Those are my fucking hands, dude Yeah, now my hands are gone. My hands are gone. Sure gone forever. Yeah Just when you think women can't fuck up any bigger They go and get their hands bit off by a giant shark trying to play with it Tourists gathered around the victim and used their clothes to stem the bleeding. They should have let her blood out. Mm-hmm. You got no hands? Fuck man. Just let me go. Yeah. I'll go talk to Jesus. Shark was estimated to be six feet in length. Jesus. Dude that's dumb. That's really stupid. If she was trying to play with it, take a selfie with it, that's dumb. That's really stupid. If she was trying to play with it, take a selfie with it, that's really stupid. Mm-hmm.

Mmm. Okay. Well, don't play with sharks. A well-deserved de-handing. Stop voting for stupid stuff. Stop playing with sharks. Get your life together. Or keep playing with sharks. As a matter of fact, if you're the kind of person who feels so inclined to take a selfie with a shark, by all means. Play with your head. Play with them with your fucking head. Exactly. Do the old lion tamer gag with it.

You idiot. Uh, Adanov says, uh, hey, Dick, I got a personal woman alert story for you. Okay. Woman alert. Woman alert. I went out to run an errand last Sunday, and I came home I noticed an extremely strong gas smell. Relieved to see my wife and son were still conscious I immediately ran to the kitchen and saw one of the stove burners was left open. I immediately closed it and then opened every door

and window to aerate the house before yelling at my wife about not noticing the smell. She said she thought the smell was soap because the dishwasher was running. And that our five-year-old son was also complaining a lot about the smell. See, this is why you gotta take the son aside and say, hey, she doesn't always know. It's bad to you. That's a woman right there. You gotta rejigger your thinking a little.

If you think you notice a smell, you do. Don't matter what she says. Now I'm second guessing leaving my wife home alone with our son in case she accidentally turns the house into a bomb or asphyxiate herself. Yeah, well, you knowxiate yourself. Yeah. Well, you know She might think yeah She just might

That guy's gonna be stressing and what's the other one? Stressing and obsessing about the house bomb. Oh shit. I got it That's stressing me out here. I guess it's kind of funny that Eric ended his essay calling me the n-word again. That's kind of- that's a callback. It's a good- it's a nice way to- you know, he was increasing the stakes the whole time. Yeah. So that was the only natural option. Just needs an edit.

Like the malpractice thing, that's the obvious fuckup, man. Line spacing's a big problem. You could shorten the sentences so that they're like, so they don't start and end with you. That's not. He could've just said, oops, you got me, next. And then we'd be like, oh, all right. Yeah.

But no levity, man. No brevity. No levity. No levity, you got no levity, bro. Okay, so is that it then? That's the last one? Now I can say whatever I want, right? You can say whatever you want. Hell yeah. Now we can turn it up. Now I can really do whatever I want.

It's the adult hour now. Now mom's really gone. Now I see the headlights turning around the corner. It's pizza time! It's pizza time. It's HBO time! Yeah! Smokin'! Wreck up that room service bill. Yeah. You can be sure that this is the last time I'll ever talk to you. Okay! Cool. Cool! Yeah. And all this stuff I've been doing has been bothering you? Okay! Yeah, if you're not bothered and this is gonna be the last time you talk to me, then...

Great! Sounds like I'm free to go. Ahh... Make sure you put it in my permanent record. Yeah. Put that in my legacy. Put it down there. Get it... get it down.

Write that down in my macro. So the next guy says I'm making him into the next you. And you can pass the mantle on from retarge to retarge. Until I'm dead. And then your son can pick up the torch. Well, well, well, I see some retards are here. What is this tome, this ancient tome I need to dust off? We're like the Van Helsings for retards.

Yeah. Hahahaha. Ffff. My father fought retards and his father fought retards. You see this impressive collection of crayons behind me? You're a retard. Hahahaha. I could smell a retard from ten yards out. I've got my pack of retard bane here. And my retarded stakes.

Mistakes. What is those for? Retards. They come out at night. They come out on Sunday mornings to feed. Feed their egos. About time you learned about the family business. This is a book of retards passed down from generations. We run a retard farm, you see. Uh, alright son, we're not going to school today.

The real learning begins. The real noticing happens now. Ah, Indians in Canada. Wait, let me see. Do I have another one here? Four, five. Oh, this one's a good one. Bureaucratic Tears.

Hey, Dick and Johnny. And then we'll do, and then that's it. It's 2.40 already? Jesus. Hey, Dick and Johnny. Bureaucratic Tears. I know you've been enjoying the lamentations of the Federal Civil Service as much as I I have so I figure I'll share my recent

Experiences regarding the five bullet point emails. I work as an engineer in the operations for on offer R&D projects So I'm surrounded by autistic people all day These niche positions let you get as hands-on as you want However, most of my co-workers try to avoid it when possible, saying, they've earned this or some other lame excuse. Huh, okay. So no one's doing anything. Yeah. Within the first email, with the first email requesting bullet points, the whole building was in an uproar all day. The constant cacophony of panicking bureaucrats was a beautiful symphony. See, this is good writing. My manager, who has done nothing but play videos of himself sailing

or flying his plane for seven years to his buddies, started realizing the dream may be over. By the time, by the end of the day, he's playing The End by the doors in his office with a thousand yards there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What an asshole. Fuck that guy. These motherfuckers, man. They gotta go. The firings have got to start and they've gotta be bloody.

All of this just to be bailed out by the agency stating the staff need not reply to Elon. The day was over with just about as much productivity as normal. Next week, there was a second Five Bullet Points email and the same chaos ensues. This time the agency recommends, but doesn't require replying to Elon's email. Two of my well-adjusted co-workers

and I were screwing with the rest by hyping their fears. We were also moving their names on a board between which of the five stages of grief we believed each person was experiencing. My boss decided that he was gonna get everyone's five bullet points and pick from theirs to use in his own response. Doing some bossing. Ah, he then spent the rest of the day turning each bullet point into a half page paragraph. Ha ha ha ha ha.

It's called work. Since Elon's first email, there have been a dozen resignations here by retirement-aged individuals claiming they shouldn't have to deal with this kind of treatment. I mean, they're just like, they're just the most entitled cocksuckers I could imagine.

I didn't even think it would be real for people to be this entitled. While these bullet point emails haven't done anything for productivity, it sure does make Mondays more interesting. Johnny, keep it up. Dick, go fuck yourself, brainiac. Okay, we'll be back next week for something more normal, I think. Who knows? That's a whole week's worth of Spergen that could happen.

This Spergen's been happening just right at, you know, peak moments. I hope it's as funny for you as it is for me. That's the show. patreon.com slash the dick show dick.show see you Monday see you next month I'm here trying. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! There's nothing worse than a dry vocal. And you know, if you're gonna sing over a fully produced studio record, at least throw a little bit of reverb or something. That's something to disguise yourself. Put some reverb on that post. Yeah.

Uh, you're actually, you're just trying to make me into a pneumatics! Bro, you're just like, you're just like a retarded asshole. That's not that complicated. Yeah Unreal Alright, goodbye You pay for spaghetti. That's good. We pray for more spaghetti. Yes. Oh, don't worry boys I got a more spaghetti and coming for you. I got a spaghetti coming out of the walls I hope there's lots of spaghetti. They're gonna be spaghetti. They're gonna be Armenian spaghetti. That's you. I got spaghetti coming out of the walls. I hope there's lots of spaghetti. They're gonna be spaghetti.

They're gonna be Armenian spaghetti. That's gonna be a blacker spaghetti. I gotta have some Eastern European spaghetti. We got an undercooked spaghetti. We got an over seasoned spaghetti. We got it all. I'm gonna have all this spaghetti you can imagine. You just gotta get your appetites ready boys.

The spaghetti is a common, she's a common. The spaghetti, she's a common. I guarantee you that's not gonna be the last spaghetti That's not gonna be the second or third or last spaghetti you get this week But they're gonna be more spaghetti Time on our tradition Time on our tradition of a spaghetti Alright, goodbye