The Dick Show - Episode 453 - Dick on Tasting the Foam

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

I stub my toe, St. Patrick's Day is ruined, deporting violent criminals by Mario Kart, a girl learns about gravity on the moon, another non-English trucking accident, tasting impending diarrhea, the perfect woman vs. beer, Ethan Van Sciver calls in about Cyberfrog 3, and The Vagina Museum threatens to close down; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I think he's a comedian. No, that guy's a comedian? Like a genetically engineering comedian? What's his joke? He genetically engineers stuff and it's funny? I guess so. I don't think this guy's a comedian, I think he's a scientist. He might be.

Do you think? You know, if I had to guess. I thought he was like got arrested for being a... for cloning people or something. I thought he was like got arrested for being a- for cloning people or something. Doesn't he look like it? He- I bet he's cloned people. Man.

The second I have my kid, they're gonna release like genetic engineering shit and I'm gonna go Fuck! It's gonna be the kind of genetic engineering where it's like it makes your dad's dick bigger. Say, God damn it. You guys waited till right now to release that? That's the- obviously that's the first thing you released, right? Are you- are we rolling?

We're rolling. Alright, oh I know what I forgot to do. I forgot to go live. Oh. Here didn't I? I'm pretty sure that's a scientist. Like a bad guy. Go live. Like a cool scientist? Like a cool guy. Go live. Like a cool scientist?

Like a cool scientist. Yeah. Like the kind of scientists that you wish we had more of, you know? Mm-hmm. He's right. Yeah, there we go. That's working. There we go. He's doing good stuff. We're getting back into some good science, baby.

Yeah. Maybe in 20 years we'll get to the dick getting big. I'm not worried about that actually. That they're gonna say we released a special genetic engineering babies that makes the dad's dick bigger because they're not going to do that 40 years, maybe my son will deal with that right? They'll be right on the precipice of releasing some sort of a device that will make his dick bigger when he has a kid Right and he'll miss it by a day. I hope he'll miss it by two weeks. He'll miss it by two weeks.

To flatten your penis. Yeah. It'll shorten his life by those two weeks. But not me. Not you. We don't have that kind of momentum right now. We're building it. Yeah, we're still working our way out of the cringe fold. The cringe event horizon that we were in.

Heath and Van Sciver's calling in today. That should be a lot of fun, huh? That should be, yeah. We've been having a fun week with that gentleman. Oh man. Haven't we? We've been having a fun couple of months and a year with that gentleman, haven't we?

Two guys having fun. Just having fun. Calling balls and strikes, that's it. That's all I do. I'm a counter puncher, but even less than that, I'm just a baller and strike caller. I'm just a mild-mannered baller and a strike caller. That's all I do really.

Balling and strike calling, I like it. Balling, strike calling, that's the name of my game. Man. I'm not out here rocking boats, man. I'm not out here fisting old ladies like you guys are like some of you guys are I'm just going ball Ballin strike Colin put it on a hey, we got a new shirt. All right, do we and it's called That's pisses me off the shirt. Let me

Man, that's doesn't pisses me off cuz because that sounds great. Shop.dick.show. Shop.dick.show. Look at this beautiful shirt that Corgan made. Corgan made this. Yeah, Corgan made this. Look at this wonderful, beautiful shirt. Corgan is on fire. That pisses me off, it says.

And it's like Yosemite Sam, me throwing the headphones, like a little guy, and his hair is on fire. And he goes, that pisses me off. And there's some mugs. Look at this, it's old 80s style. I love it. That's pisses me off. It's so good. It's almost too good. I don't know how well it's gonna... Look, you can get a mug. Mm-hmm.

That's pisses me off mug that you can take to into work with. Cool, so I... I might have gone too far on this one, I think. No, I think the mug is great, because then when you face a minor inconvenience, you can shatter it. Yeah, yes, true. You can show how pissed off you are.

True, very true. That pisses me off, and then you take the mug and you smash it, get six. You smash it into your own head. Get five or six of them. This is the sticker. Of course, you can slap that on someone else's car, like right on the door.

Preferably. Right where the keyhole is like right on the door. Preferably. Right where the keyhole is. Right on the paint. Go ahead and do that. Knock yourself out. Have a good time. Shop.dick.show. Man, these are great. They are great. Do they come in v-neck?

No. Fuck. Because the v-necks remind me of Sean. I don't ever want to see a v-neck again. I know. And you got one! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Is that thing big? I'm out of it. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E Yes, stay in the car! Join me as always is Johnny the audio engineer

Hey, what's up buddy? I got it right. What's up, man? Beep boop beep boop. Yeah, I'm not the idiot engineer this week. No, you're not the idiot engineer. Oh man. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Holy shit. It's St. Patrick's Day, man. Did you wear any green today? Do I have any? Oh, I have this on. This gay little

Wristband thing. Oh, so it this on, this gay little wristband thing. Oh, so it counts. Hairband thing, I got that. That counts. Why, you want to give me a pinch? No. Give me a pinch? Because I'm not wearing any green. Oh, yet another St. Patrick's Day I've spent. Sick.

My wife goes, oh, you could do a... I said, oh, wow, I got to move the show back because I'm sick. Let's do it Monday. Because you could do a I said oh wow I got to move the show back because I'm sick Let's do it Monday because you could do a you could do a drinking show and I said honey I I don't think it's like a drinking show for me You know that's like something that they do that on the radio or they have to not drink for most of the time mm-hmm That's for like that's for more professional people Hey look at me. I'm drunk at work like yeah, we've seen that we've seen that before I might have done one too many of those already

I might have done 10 or 20 too many of those already, but I appreciate the sentiment Thanks for getting it. Thanks for you know what thanks for not being the bad guy You know you don't want to be sometimes. It's it's just as effective to jump and jump at it Sometimes you have to. You throw it out there right away, like, oh, here, rub this in your face. Here, why don't you smoke the whole pack? Whoa, I don't think so. Don't tempt me with a good time, yeah. And I'm also out of beer, so that's the...

Oof. This is my last St. Patrick's Day. Before I am dead. I don't know. That's Day. Before I am dead. I don't know. That's crazy. And I spent it here, dead sober, looking at you. Talking about comic books. What an awful St. Patrick's Day.

I had a small win celebrating, before I get to that, what pisses me off. Oh yeah. My wife left some five pound dumbbells in the middle of the room this week. How many times did you slam your toe into that? Oh, man. And I saw them. I went up. She was sleeping and I went upstairs to, like,

watch, secretly watch new episodes of Severance and then pretend like I didn't see them when we have to watch them again. And I saw the, I saw the And I saw the five pound weights, because she's doing like, you know, she's trying to do like pregnancy weights things, like different exercises or whatever. I don't know what they do. It's all in an app. They all have an app together.

So she got the weights. She's like, do you have any weights? I'm like, do I have weights? You know, I am the perfect model of a... And she's like, okay, okay, I don't need the whole thing. Just do you have weights dad dad you know I am the perfect model of a she's like okay okay I don't need the whole thing just you have the girl weights yeah I have girl weights uh here you go here's the girl weights have fun with them right whatever you do you leave them you know wherever you want here's the girl weights she takes him did a workout and she goes to bed and I go up there and I see in the middle of the room, like Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark,

ah, in the middle of the rug, right in fucking foot stamp, right in toe stubbing, you know, primo location for just cramming your foot, Charlie Brown, crack. Boardwalk and park pose. And it's pitch black, but I can see it because the neighbor's light is filtered in through the crack and the trees and like a beam, you know?

And I said, oh man, delicious. And I'm like the Grinch, ooh, you fucked up this time, honey, you fucked up this time by leaving these weights in the middle of the room. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I can't tell you how many times I've been yelled at for leaving shoes in the middle of the room, but. Oh, yeah.

You leave weights in there. Weights. That's a big no-no. So I'm going to leave them. I'm going to. I need to think about what my response is going to be before I pick them up, right? That's great.

So flash forward to the next day, and they're still there. I gave her a shot to pick them up. In the morning, great. So flash forward to the next day and they're still there. I gave her a shot to pick them up. In the morning, she got ready to go to work. Let me make sure I'm screaming this. Yeah, 8 PM Eastern. Yeah, I mean, did I fuck up the time zone? How many hours? God damn, I got something.

I thought it was allergies that I had. But it's something in my chest. It's the most annoying sickness that I have right now that I'm getting over. I mean, I don't have it now. A little bit I have. But from the hours of like four in the morning, this is true.

Four in the morning to eight in the morning, when I breathe out, like halfway through my breath, my lungs go, like, maybe make this horrible wheezing sound. That sounds like one of those, remember that, remember when McDonald's had the fat, Back to the Future cartoon toys? And there was like that, that dynamo, the brown,

you wind up, but it out your when your lungs sound like that so I wake myself up now just breathing because I go me it's only halfway someone pushes on you almost yeah extra bit of air you didn't know you had so then I try like okay maybe if I just breathe halfway so I'm like her I'm trying to go real slow like like breathe into the mat brewed into the blanket Like basically waterboarding myself all night, and then I finally go to sleep, and I'm like hey like waking up again I'm like this is fucked. This is totally fucked What's funny? I'm really on edge sounds like you're probably having a fucking panic attack all night.

Yeah. It's the worst one. You think waking up with coughing is bad, but this is way worse. I'm like, okay, so I just can't breathe in that area anymore? Alright. Anyway, so I woke up in the morning and the shoes were still there. And I said, hahaha, alright. Now I have a fresh mind. How am I gonna lay the trap? How am I gonna lay the trap for these shoes? How am I gonna you know spike it? What's my touchstone touchdown dance gonna be to really rub it in?

Maybe I should put my shoes on the weights that'll get her her right. But then I got, I said, that's kind of cliche. That's kind of dumb though. I'm gonna think about it. That's kind of like cutesy. I'm gonna think about something really clever, right? So then I start boiling some, I start making some lunch or whatever. Start heating some stuff up. And I get distracted with arguing on Twitter.

And the pot starts boiling over that I'm making. My wife says, can you boil me some hard boiled eggs? I'm like, yeah, sure, I turn it on. Hard boiled eggs, and they start going, and it starts going over the side, and I said, oh shit, the eggs! Run over to the eggs. I run over to the eggs, and I break,

I like full full sprint, steps one, two, crack in my entire foot. The worst, like right on the tip, if your little toe was a penis, right on the tip of the penis of the little toe, right into the weight and just instantly go down. I said, no, no. Why did you have to make this into a joke?

Why did you have to make this into a joke? Why did you just pick up the Wade's? Why did you do this? You tried to beat the system. And then I tried to beat the system, and then I tried to beat the system and then I thought, oh you ruined it! You ruined your wedding! That's my first thought! Now you're gonna have a broken foot!

Just like with Ralph and the- This is the- The last time this happened was the start of a horrible, horrible stretch of years! No! No! It's God! I'm holding my foot, praying to God. Please don't let my foot be broken! No! I can't! I can't! I cannot! I can't! I can't do it! And I can't kill myself now, because there's a kid coming. Before, something like that

would happen, and I just said, well, I'm just gonna kill myself. And I would be fine at least. Be like, alright, I'll do it tomorrow. I'm just gonna go, I can get through the rest of the day and then tomorrow I wake up like up, you know I'm gonna do it tomorrow. I'm definitely gonna do it. I can't, I cannot have, I cannot have another six weeks hobbling around, getting made fun of by dogs. around getting made fun of by dogs. Huh. I texted my, texted my wife. Hey, I banged my, I banged my foot on your goddamn dumbbells that you left in the

middle of the room. She's like, Oh no, I'm so sorry, but I feel guilty about it. Cause I'm like, you know, this is stolen. You know that it's not her fault. Cause you saw them and you didn't. And I said, you know what? I got to, I texted me. I have to apologize. I was it was my fault I You knew it. I left them out on purpose to fuck with you now. I did him to myself twice It's always a matter of

When not if when it matters like that anytime I see you drink near electrical shit much like this Oh, yes Get out get rid of it. It's gonna get rid of it build mm-hmm cuz the second you don't move it Spilled he really wanted to you really wanted to kill the lily on that one to sit in there all day Let's put a little more gold on this. Let's put- this pudding can take another 40 or 50 eggs, I think. That's- that's fine. That will be fine. Oh my god. I'm so- I never felt that. It's like two guys trying to get through the door at the same time. God damn you! Why did you do that?! You're too old to fuck that up! You're too old!

You gotta get out that. You left- you have to get the first initial blame out there and then feel bad about it Hmm, but you know the that initial like you are the causer of this it couldn't have been me It was me. I'm way too smart to fuck that up. I would never trip over my own weights And yet my enemies are dumber than even that. That's the lesson. That is the lesson. Is that even that level of dumbness, clubbing my own foot and my own house,

because I can't just walk to go take eggs off the boiler, as though the water's just going to light the house on fire and blow everywhere! It's not! It could have if you didn't run, though. And you know what she said to me? Nothing helpful, I imagine. I said, your weights, because I was running to take the eggs that you asked me to hard boil, and she said, um, if you used my egg boiling machine,

which I got it, which I yelled at her did not buy. Cause I, because it's just gonna be like a, the modern house, the modern woman, it just has a pile that goes one mile in the air with specific gadgets for every single thing you could imagine a nail painting machine, a nail polish removing machine, a soap holding machine, a soap carving machine, a soup making machine, every sort of machine

for every possible thing. I said, why the fuck, you don't need a egg making, an hard boiled egg making machine. Just use a pot, because it's too confusing the pot. I said, it's's too confusing the pot. It's not too confusing the pot Because I told us you had to eat eggs because the baby you know I said you got to eat eggs for the baby To counteract the autism well. I remember when you guys got in I was like What the fuck do you need a machine to boil eggs for that's what I said?

This will it makes you can make any kind of egg. Hard boiled, medium boiled, poached. I said, I don't give a fuck. When have you ever needed poached eggs? It's like, it's right there. You have it right there. It's like, cause I could never make them. I said, I left your, I broke my foot on your weights cause I was making your hard boiled eggs

cause you wouldn't, you wouldn't have had to rush over if you were using my egg making machine. And I said, I'm gonna kill you yeah You know what it is your weights again See all those violent gangbangers get deported How about that? I just saw that you saw that just saw you see that loaded him up onto a plane and Saw that just saw you see that loaded him up onto a plane and did you that's pretty funny their ass out out there Great see ya everybody's throwing a fit about it. I

Don't know what country. I don't know what year they think this is like 1987-92 maybe where we're talking about due process all kinds of all kinds of hibbity-gibbity Bullshit that hasn't existed in 20 years. What about their due process? Bitch, I could walk I could walk that way for 10 minutes and find 50 people that need to be deported to hell No one no one gives even a No one gives a quantum of a fuck about a bunch of tatted up gang bangers getting sent to a concentration camp in the third world fucking Patted up gang bangers getting sent to a concentration camp in the third world. Fucking nobody. Nobody except you weird cocks.

Nobody except for you weirdos. No one except for you weird Starbucks drive-thru drinking, swilling, fat ass, quasi-lesbians give a fuck about what we're doing to the Agua de Trana, whatever. What if it's an innocent guy, you know what? I really don't give a fuck about what we're doing to the Agua de Trana, whatever, what if it's an innocent guy? You know what? I really don't give a fuck. If somebody- if somebody took a Sharpie and drew a bunch of gang tattoos over an innocent- over some innocent fat kid and then rolled them out in front of Trump's Gestapo squad, I don't give a fuck anymore. We are- we are drowning in crime. Everyone is afraid. It's happening all the time, everywhere.

This where we live does not resemble in any way the country that we grew up, that I grew up in. Get rid of everybody. Get rid of people so hard that we're fucking up. At that point, then it becomes a problem. When there's more people that we're fucking up on that are just here terrorizing and killing everybody. There is a... This is true.

Next door, the app where women go to drive themselves insane. Isn't that every app? Not like this it's not. Oh. Not like this it's not. There was a post that my wife shows me yesterday. She goes, look at this. So what does, what's that, what that means?

It looks like a bird house. She goes, it does look like a bird house. It's a, it's a remote camera that the criminals have mounted to a tree to observe the neighborhood for when people leave so they can come ransack their house. I said that's we got it. Everyone's got to go. That's it. Actually, let's deport the whole entire country. And then everyone can line up and get back in that way. We've got to drain the pool and then refill it slowly. I don't mind. I'll sit in a concentration camp for a year if it will fix the problem.

Okay? Yeah, if it'll fix shit. I'll sit bent over eating toilet paper or whatever they feed them down there in El Salvador if it will fix it. Because this shit is not- because having- I hated- I hated the government having surveillance devices on the street. I really hate government having surveillance devices on the street. I really hate criminals having surveillance devices on the street. Yeah.

Like, oh. You mean the guy riding an electric... the guy riding an e-bike around and like... Scouting for that guy in the white BMW to come by and grab people's stuff that wasn't efficient enough? No. They got... they got a more efficient way to... That's fucked....to rob every... Isn't got a more efficient way to... That's fucked. To rob every... Isn't that fucked? That's fucked. That's fucked.

Has anyone taken it down? I don't know. I didn't ask. I assume... You know what? Now that you ask, I assume no. I assume that someone went to do it and then somebody said, well, we need due process for that. We need due process for that spying machine. That's crazy. That's fucking insane. I can't take these guys anymore.

Well, then you get due process. Bro, well, that doesn't exist at all. Mm-hmm. Nothing that you're- nothing that you're saying exists even a little bit. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe it's- it's all- it's all gone. It's all been flushed. It's been gone so long it's been gone. It's gone. It's all gone. It's all been flushed. It's been gone so long it's funny now. We're just doing boot neck now.

You do our neck, and then when we're in charge, we do your neck until one of us is fucking dead or both of us. That's it. That's what we're doing now. Fifth grade did not prepare us for this inevitability. Although I guess maybe it did. I don't know. Depends on what decade you were in fifth grade I guess. It does. Depends on what neighborhood your school was in a fifth grade. Here's a Walmart delivering a soda. Let's see this This is pretty good

A Walmart drone delivery a doctor is this real? Yeah, it looks pretty real Okay, let's see thought it would be a good time This guy was feeling a bit thirsty so thought it would be a good time to test out the Walmart drone delivery service. Is that real? It was delivered by a cool-looking drone that winched it down to his garden. Okay. When you think that was just to deliver one bottle of drink, that's pretty amazing. In fact, it's one of the coolest things I've seen in a while.

Why is this dumb lady talking over this? Uh... That's cool. I hate that. That's awful. Yeah. That is not cool. I don't want that. I don't want these pieces of shit getting free, getting soda water flowing to them.

Just one, two. Just one. Just one. Just one. That pisses me off. That pisses me off. The vagina museum closed down. It's a sad day. We need some sad music. Yeah, did you know about this, Chani? I might have said it to you. Sadly, the, oh, you might have. The vagina museum is shut down. Something about lack of funds or... And I just went, hmm. That's odd, because they got the one thing that, you know, always sells. So they must not be doing it right. The vagina museum is just one month away from closing.

Forever. A perfect storm of circumstances. Man, that is exactly the explanation I would expect from the vagina museum. What happened? All these circumstances happened. They got looted and polluted. Oh really? What happened to your money?

Oh man, you wouldn't believe all this crazy circumstances happened. A perfect storm no less. Yeah, there's nothing we could do. A perfect storm of circumstances means that we may have to close our doors permanently and cease all digital activities. Oh, it was a digital vagina museum? Don't we already have that? Yeah. It's called every server, right? But we're not gonna go down without a fight. Okay kind of rapey. Save them at the ginner museum don't let it become a footnote. Is that real? Go fund me. Oh well good luck. I don't know about that one. Yeah, not so sure about it Mel Gibson's getting his guns back. That's cool. Mm-hmm

Milo, you know, police lost his cat. Okay. Oh That that's not doing drugs, I guess We oh my god I saw I Watched the mr. Beast games. You know that you know that I've heard about that about that Yeah, it's really dumb, but I watched the last like the last episode. I watched a little bit at the beginning I watched the last episode and it was down. It was between this like as it was between this black woman and this like this like silver-haired guy this

Dad who said he was gonna it was really weird, he said he was gonna use the money to cure his kids' like weird disease. Like his kid had some weird disease that made him all messed up looking. I'd never heard of the disease before, and they made it seem like it was some kind of special disease, I don't know. That's cool.

Well you hear like, oh my kid has like ALS, and I'm gonna use it to help them, right? And that's fine. But when he has like a mystery disease, it's kind of odd. Yeah, you're just making shit up. Like, wait a minute, what do you mean? It's a mystery disease. Look at that With Bob and David sketch.

Have you seen that? They're doing it chopped. It's been like Mr. Show part two, basically. But they're doing this sketch where it's like chopped. And like, Bob Odenkirk introduces himself like, yeah, I'm a chef who's got this going on part two, basically, but they're doing this sketch where it's chopped, and then Bob Odenkirk introduces himself, like, yeah, I'm a chef who's got this going on, blah, blah, blah, and then everyone's story gets more dramatic.

Yeah! And he gets to, he's like, well, actually, why I'm divorced, I've been divorced three times, or I forget how it goes. It was like that. He keeps re-trying. He spent like half an hour talking about how fucked up his kid was, and it all like he's all the kids all walking around

And he's in his car like screaming like dude. This is he's guilt-tripping. This is not a game show anymore This is like a telethon. I don't this isn't fun and I don't know why and the black girl didn't have like a Response to it. Yeah, just like a normal lady like uh Yeah, you're bad. This sucks. Like, uh... Yeah, you're bad if you don't let this guy win. Yeah, like, okay, well, I guess everyone has to root for this guy. Mm-hmm.

And then they had the dumbest, they had the dumbest last game I've ever seen on a game show. It's like, here's a bunch of briefcases and you can, you have to close your eyes and I get to switch them around and one of them is the real one, one of of them is the winner and there's like ten of them So she's doing all this stupid stuff and it's all random right like if I had ten briefcases and one of them was you wouldn't There's no way to know way So and then they have to switch back and forth until one of them finds it So she mixes them all up and he talks about how his kids all fucked up for like a half hour And then he says he picks one and the first one he picks is the winner

This is this is terrible this show totally sucks. That's fucked It was total it was so stupid she should have said she had the same disease It's the only way yeah, she should have mm-hmm. She should have The only thing I was missing with that the trans dad would have made it better, I think. Yeah. First I thought, that's probably smart of them, especially with the Discord and all the underage kids. But then I thought, nah, I think they actually needed that energy in there to balance. Because this is weirding me out now.

Uh. That's so fucking funny. Uh. I don't feel bad not watching it then. Now it's really dumb. We were, we were misled about the event that changed our lives. That's the, oh and then I got a track baton to the head. Oh. That should be fun.

Lots happened this week. A lot has happened this week. What is this shit? Just let me in. To the article, please. No! All right there. We were badly misled.

Dude, can you not read articles anymore? I don't think so. Okay, well that's the headline. We were badly misled. Oh. Dude, can you not read articles anymore? I don't think so. Okay, well that's the headline. We were badly misled about the event that changed our lives. There are New York Times talking about COVID. Oh. Were we? Who's the we? Who's the, yeah.

Were we badly misled? What do you mean we? What do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean, we? There's that word again. Pretty sure I was not giving a fuck and really pissed off that I was having to do stuff. I guess we were fooled by the best. All of us are in the same boat tricked by some

We'll see aren't we all equals now. It wasn't me who fucked up It's all of us all of us fucked up a little bit. Yeah, all right. All right Here's here's a track to the head the baton to the head thing man Have you seen this no no you have to have seen this it's I may have have. Oh, you know what I, as you pulled it up, yes. Yeah, this was crazy. Yeah, I used to be an Olympic runner until I took a baton to the skull. Oh, that's that.

That gang shit is so funny, man. You see the judge was like, oh, Trump's got to turn the plane around in the air and bring all the gangbang, bring all the Venezuelan gang members back to America for a trial. No. Bro, fuck you.

Yeah. Why don't you go to, why don't you spend some time in the concentration camp in El Salvador? Yeah, be the one who does their trial. Yeah, what are you doing? It's great, like really, I hope you guys really own this one. Really let everyone know that you want the fucking terrorists and people skinners.

They're like, bring them back. One of them might be, one of them might have been a mistake. Okay. No one cares at this point. Yeah. We're just tired of this shit. Just tired of crying about everything. We're all tapped out. Yeah, there's nothing left Space aliens could come start eating everybody. I mean like well not all of them are eating everybody, bro We don't care get all the space eat them all get them all

Get them all out of here Everything must go Like that furniture store that's always closing man. It's a fire sale all these motherfuckers must go. Like that furniture store that's always closing, man. It's a fire sale. All these motherfuckers must go. 75-90% off, yep. Well, but what about, but what if, but what if, but nah. We tried all that what if shit and it turns out the food isn't that good. We figured, we got it.

We memorized it. I know how to make that shit now. Just get rid of them. We're it. I know how to make that shit now. Just get get rid of them. It's we're done They can't show that shit to women though, you know, the guys getting hunched over and loaded into a Slave ship or whatever. They built a replica of the Amistad in El Salvador. Did you know that? No, that's like a mega Amistad They built a giant giant replica of the Amistad and they load them in there fucking Chuck them in Jesus With their hands all cuffed together

It's quite funny. That is so it's so funny because Just criminals have been being such Cock-suckers for like 30 years getting away with all kinds of shit breaking into your house suing you like every it's just been a whittling away and eroding everyone's right to defend themselves and Mocking them for the call getting called a small dick because you want to have a gun to defend yourself Oh, you because you have a small dick I guess like I don't really. To finally see a bunch of them

just on like- I actually hope they don't have any evidence. I hope they just- eyeballed. I hope that- that dopey-looking hof- Hallman or whatever his name is, I hope he was just sitting there and goes, it's those guys over there. They just kind of have a- they kind of give me a bad vibe. They're like, all right, you guys are shipped off to the concentration camp. They'd be great. That would be great, but there's probably a shitload of evidence Yeah, unfortunately mm-hmm. It would feel better if there was just absolutely fucking none that would be a lot like man Fucking now finally you guys are afraid. Yeah Works both ways you're gonna be on the on the opposite of the Citizen app at night.

Your wife's gonna be poking you. Hey look, fucking Miguelito just got shipped to the concentration camp. Is that gonna happen to you? Fucking maybe. I don't know. Better log the fuck off that app. Better log off bitch don't show me that app. That's...

Oh man. Just so done with this shit. So done with trying to think you can... You know what I saw was interesting? Um... Okay, let me watch this first. I'm gonna get too sidetracked. It's a VR thing that they're giving to like prisoners that drops their recidivism rate by 94%.

And their reactions to it are retarded. They're like, well I was just in VR and so I'm like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. rate by 94% and their reactions to it are retarded. They're like, well, I was just in VR in solitary confinement and I'm seeing people it's just like VR is just like people doing normal shit like going to work and stuff. That's so fucking funny. And they just walk around in like a normal like nice society. We all know what kind of society. Yeah.

nice society. We all know what kind of society. Did you see Kanye's swastika thing? I did. I hate to say this, but it started looking cool. I can't. It's funny. It's simple, but now it's past the point of like, oh wow, that's shocking. Now it's like, you mean you put three giant swastikas in your office?

Like there's little chairs there Yeah, they got us the cubicle people have to sit there with giant red swastikas And the n-word it's all right Yeah, it's it's all just a joke now Like it's so it is you made it all right uh Because you can't see anyone wearing that seriously and be like oh, you're you know big Kanye fan, huh like yeah now every time I see it. I just think of Kanye like wearing his shirt that says like yeah like a Damn, he know he managed to rebrand it. It's kind of impressive

He's doing great, man, ah Okay, here's the lady here Here's the track mate. Let's see. Oh whoops whoops whoops a little loud, sorry. Here's a bunch of track stars. I think it's this lady that clubs the other one over the head. There there it was. You see that? Oh, right in the back We've all been there yeah Wham! That's BOOM! BAMO! We've all been there Yeah Taking a shopping cart

You know, somebody's Meandering, going slow Just give me that fucking thing That's what happens when you leave weights out Clubbing with a Voss, water That's the right shape for clubbing That is a good clubbing shape the right shape for clubbing. That is a good clubbing shape.

It's a good clubbing shape. Let's see what she had to say about it. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Oh, okay. Person by myself, nobody's gonna believe me because I can't- Okay. You know, it's not even funny anymore. A little bit, but.

You know. Come on, that's not, there's no way that's real. Come on. There's no way that's real. There's no way that's real, come on. There's no way that's real. There's no way that's real. What else does she say? I'm just a person by myself. Nobody's gonna believe me because I can admit from the video it does look purposeful,

but I know my intentions and I would never hit somebody on purpose. Chest. Yeah, diverse swing full force Absolutely repugnant, I know nobody's gonna believe me like well, yeah, of course not lying. Yeah, you're obviously lying you that's we're doing now We're doing we're doing vibe. We're doing vibe of justice. Mm-hmm Actually, it does look purposeful, and you're going to the concentration camp in El Salvador.

Yo, homie, these tattoos are like, for helping me learn chemistry. No, homie, actually, you're vibing kind of like criminally to me, so you're going to the concentration camp. You have to fist fight Baton Girl now. Ha ha ha ha ha! For a lick of a of a empty baloney packet where all the baloney is gone and

only the baloney water is left. Oh. That's your that's your Tuesday afternoon buddy boy. God they are gonna fucking brutalize those motherfuckers and else out there gonna torture the fuck out of them and I'm so excited it's been a long time coming man yeah and buying Bitcoin supports that what did him what you can you can invest in it you can even invest in the torture that's just Okay. What else do I have here? Here's uh White power steering Microsoft says critical thinking skills are getting fucked by AI. Yeah, no shit

Thanks, you think so Stupid thing we introduced is now bad. Now, oh yeah, Tesla, the swastika, okay, that's not funny. Now with white power steering. That had so much potential. Man, you guys gotta really start making it look bad. Uh, you're doing the opposite. Power steering's good. Two guys doing this is cool, you know? The swastika are ooh really got him Yeah Really making it sound unappealing. Ah

I'm gonna make the rims of the swastikas or like two of them or so, you know, just so much Yeah, they're gonna say how did how did it happen now that everyone's wearing swastika now like well People just started kind of using it all the time Swasegat now like well people just started kind of using it all the time the line between like who really was a Nazi and who was just like into space exploration kind of got blurred a lot and then people just took it up on both sides for like a rallying cry and sarcastically. Well it's like in India they love Hitler it's like in India, they love Hitler. It's like this weird disconnect where they're like,

oh yeah, we got like Hitler brand roof tiles. Yeah. Just like random shit is like. Nothing. Yeah. And then they're gonna be on the internet. Yeah. Now they're getting on the internet. Ooh, ooh, Nelly.

Okay, here's the VR for prisoners. I know why this is so funny. It's just like, you don't think VR could fix anything because it's so crappy. They just put them in Second Life. Something about this, yeah, okay. So here's the criminals sitting in VR, right? There he is, watching Tuck in door the Explorer or whatever

Yeah, yeah, yeah, where is it here it is guardian an Ideal tool Part they viewed scenes of daily life as well as travel adventures and then they process the emotions that they have Let me find the rate Percent sign This is so insane. Isn't it? This is like the more I'm reading this. I'm like Jesus Christ. I'm like wait a minute man I've I've really overestimated people I think I'm this is Jesus Christ. I'm like, wait a minute, man. I've really overestimated people, I think. This is on me.

I need to reevaluate how I think about people. Hell is, prison is toxic. You become accustomed to it, the corruption, the duplicitousness. Hell is normalized, Ortega said. But prisons that have piloted the VR program report a 96% reduction in infractions from incarcerated participants in solitary confinement according to creative acts so they make it well the number of

infractions the men in solitary go from 735 to one. After one week-long session, you mean that's it? That's all it took? They have to just like see... So they have to not be in prison. So prison makes the problem way, way, way, way worse. That's the core of this shit. They should just be watching TV. Of like normal stuff. Like anime.

You know? Normal stuff. Right, sorry. stuff like anime yeah you know nice normal stuff right sorry like the Smurfs you know yeah just like kind of people going to work not the snorks fuck the snorks fucking suck fuck the snorks um anything can be used to cause harm and people make a blah blah blah I learned that even if someone has nothing in common with me I can find a way to connect with them Yeah, yeah Yeah, you figured it out that is why you're in prison right mm-hmm. Yeah, you're like everyone else.

Yeah, okay. Insane. I learned that, yeah, I can find a way to connect with them. She'll parole from prison. I feel content, I'm more tolerant, people call me reliable again. I go to AA and NA meetings, I'm in school, I actually started my own program, it's called Dream, okay. So it's a plug.

Dream catchers. I actually started my own program. It's called okay, so it's a plug Dream catchers Man There's a guy knocking out a bully Terrible bully Doo doo doo Look at this horrible violence. See this is a hero, this is a heroic gentleman here standing up to this vicious bully that's been attacking him. Who happens to be a woman. Here he is. He's fending her off. and she won't stop of course.

Look at him, look at her tearing his shirt. It's an expensive shirt. She throws a book bag at him or something. Oh my You good you good you hear that guy you good Oh, N-word, come on, man. Come on, man. You can't say that word. Yeah, the cops said she was antagonizing him, attacking him, hitting him, you know.

Yeah. I wonder if that's okay now. antagonizing him, attacking him, hitting him, you know. I wonder if that's okay now. Responding to a girl bully like that, because they do do that, throw punches. I mean, everyone knows what's happening there. He was like, look, I'm not trying to, you know, I'm trying to, you know. I'm not trying to start shit, but. When you deal with a motherfucker who's got a whole foot on you I?

Really don't want my shirt stretched out. I don't want books thrown at my head Yeah, stretches out the collar of your shirt you look like a fucking retard all day Yeah, what are you supposed to do? You just you can't un you know you can't bring it back at least not at school I read someone saying that women don't really understand You can't bring it back, at least not at school. I read someone saying that women don't really understand how much more powerful men are than them, that they really don't. Get it? I don't know if that's true,

because women drive for decades and they don't seem to understand that any better. So I don't know if it's understanding that's the problem. Well, cause there is none. Yeah, cause there is none. But, but I don't know. At least he was, the cops said he was, oh, he was cited for battery,

not for the instance with, not for the incident with the girl, but for horse play with a water pistol before the attack. Who was he, who was he playing with a water gun with? A friend of the girl identified as Rosemary confirmed, that's how the incident started. Oh, he shot her with a water gun. Me and her were getting hit with water

and we told him to stop and then she got mad and after that she reacted, she got her water bottle and started hitting him With it, okay Sounds like he started it then Well enjoy prison then buddy, yeah, I don't know what to tell you Okay here is It's a good head slam though Yeah, that's a hell of a head slam. Here is a baby sexual orientation... Jesus Christ. Questionnaire. Yeah, it's no community notes. Here's a sexual

orientation and gender questionnaire for new babies. New Jersey Hospital now asking parents to identify their newborn babies' preferred pronouns and sexual orientation. I thought we were done with all this shit. What's going on here? Who didn't get the memo? Well, New Jersey, clearly, yeah. They're a little slow, huh?

At Inspira Health, our mission is to provide a safe and compassionate experience that improves the health and well-being of our community by placing the safety of our patients in the support blah blah blah blah blah. Please complete this questionnaire. Patient name, newborn, date of birth, what sex was, to men. Get the fuck out of here, this isn't real. Transgender, male, trans, man, female, male, gender, queer, additional gender category, self-descri- Which of the following best describes your baby? Lesbian or gay. Why is that the first one?

Yeah, I guess it's LG. No no they didn't do that order either straight or heterosexual or yeah by bisexual self-described and they messed up all the formatting too that's how you know it's. Oh, the baby's questioning, unsure. Oh, okay, well, find whoever made this and... And, uh, send him to... concentration camp in South Salvador. No problem. Of course your baby's unsure. It doesn't fucking know anything. Uh... alright, let me see if I have any other...

Uh... oh, the Amazon driver. left at the altar that's funny the left at the altar one. Did you see that? No It is kind of it's It's crazy Here we go. This is that this dating show where they this Prank dating show where they get you to they get guys to propose to fat girls They trick them into falling in love with them you to, they get guys to propose to fat girls. They trick them into falling in love with them, and then they get them to propose to them.

This is why this chick ended the relationship with her, with him. So they're at the altar right now, and she's about to dump him. This is her reason why. I love you so much. But I've always wanted a partner to be on the same wavelength. This is her reason why. Sure. I don't want that to be misunderstood. I still love you and everything about you is amazing. Sure And I care about you so much. I

care about you too, I Love you so much. I know I want to stay with you and keep growing our relationship if you'll let me oh We'll see oh My god, come on I know that the connection we have is so real and My heart is there but we talked about a lot of the values that I hold so close to my heart Making this decision my mind I feel can't Making this decision, my mind is telling me I can't.

Rise and the fall. This show is so retarded. Jesus. It's just like brain-meltingly retarded. I'm okay. See me in the back. See me in the back. What did she say? What's the...

What's the reason? Leave him a heartbeat. Oh my gosh. I'm fine. Yeah? I'm fine. Get me out of here. No. Oh Come on get to it definitely a woman show And I am like he's such a great person. I just like That's pisses me off Neither a decision I Can't take the cock teasing I mean I knew the whole time coming in this the time frame like that's not like I feel like I know him teasing. especially in her own city, like how could it not? How did it not make you think about something? I asked him too, like what his church's views are

and he said he didn't know. And so then I watched a sermon online from his church about, yeah, sexual identity. Okay. And it was traditional. I told that to Ben and his thoughts on it. And it was traditional. I told that to Ben. And he doesn't really have much to say about it, you know? And lots of nothing about that stuff.

Sometimes I did wonder if it was surface fun, carefree love that we had. Equality, religion. Bro! So, they're like programming these latte-swilling pigs on masks to go out and fuck up their lives with retarded shit that nobody should care about at all. That's insane. That is crazy. Man. How many uh, I don't know, how many relationships are just props for like, I don't know, because I'm too old, right? But every time I see, every time I see a woman with a social media account, I think this is a big problem for somebody.

This is a big problem for somebody. This is a big problem for somebody. Always is. It always is. Because that's what this is. That's... Oh, well, I have to make a big show of... You didn't have BLM in your bio. Oh, how could... What do you mean you don't think about it? Well, I, you know, it doesn't matter. I'm not black.

Well, ever since it was registered as a business and not a movement, it's... Yeah, I mean, I'll just like, I don't like crime. I guess cops could be too hard sometimes. I don't know. What's the... What's there to think about it? What's there to think about? Daylight savings, I think about that.

I haven't thought about most things. I wonder how many, I wonder from young guys perspectives what percentage of their dating lives, cause I see it pop up on like people making fun of Tinder matches that just obsess about retarded political stuff. What, how much of their dating lives revolve around this? Cause it used to be, it used to be that you would say, I mean, when I was younger it was like, well, women,

they all believe in this stupid shit, but then their politics all kind of trend towards who they end up with or who they're dating. Like, it's just the way it is. But now I don't know. There's so much, there's so much brainwashing and fucking consciousness shredness shredding happening all day every day and outwardly they're doing it on purpose you know to for the they're Prostrating themselves for the algorithm. I don't know if that's true anymore I really don't know if that's true anymore, and that would be terrible if that wasn't true anymore That would be terrible. Let me see who's that is that yeah?

Holy shit we. Here we go Here we go here we go here we go That'd be terrible If you can't fix a woman's politics with your dick then There's no hope. There's no hope. Then she's gonna run the show Yes And that is...

And then you have to fall in line with all that. And then you will always feel a part of yourself missing. Yeah, you have to build some cockamamie personality to fit in. Is that what guys are doing now? They have to build some, like, puppet of them and then slowly remove the pieces? Yeah, the ship of Theseus all over again. Yeah. I thought you believed in that. Oh, no, I don't believe in that shit. Or you just wait for her to wear down and not care about it anymore. Yeah.

Oh, and he vanished. Okay, let me find some comments. Sorry, my voice is all messed up. I got a that's what pisses me off. What pisses you off? Well, since you talked about St. Patrick's Day. me out or that's pisses you off well since you talked about st. Patrick's Day Dick you and I are getting old yeah more so you than me more me um you know it's always let's talk about the straw that broke the camel's back right what about the beer that made you shit foam foam shit what was that? what do you mean? its always that you're drinking and you're drinking and you're drinking and you're like man

its a great day only pissed twice whatever and then you have that one extra beer and then your mouth tastes a little different and you go the mouth is the first your mouth is connected to your asshole so it makes sense that you would get that taste.

You get halfway. But you do get that taste. You get that taste. You get halfway down and you go, Oh, I'm gonna be shitting foam later. Nobody wants to say it. Nobody wants to say it. But you can taste the diarrhea. You can, you just know.

And so that's what makes me, that's what- That's what pisses, that's what pisses me off. Yeah, that pisses me off. What was the beer that did it for you? It's just one too many IPA's man You'll be sitting there having a great time Then you look it's not until you look in the box and see how many are missing Yeah, then the taste hits yeah, cuz then you've calculated you've done the math and now your body No, that fucking taste that taste of I think the taste causes the diarrhea I think so I think if that taste was put into like a gum or a candy or so. Oh, there he is

Can we hear him? Yeah, I could hear you laughing. Okay, good good We're just talking about everything down and start over again. We're talking about the taste of impending diarrhea Worst right can't you it is that certain flavor, you know, it's the worst. Right. Can't you, it is that certain flavor, you know, it's usually halfway through that last beer where you go, God damn it. God damn it. That was one too many.

That was the straw that damn it. That was the beer that shit the bed. Yep. Um, how are you doing Mr. EBS? Uh, I'm doing okay. I'm doing all right. Patrick's day.

Thank you. It's been a mostly a lucky day. A lucky couple of days. I'll say that. Look it's backwards. How do I get the... oh man. Are you backwards? What are you talking about? Yeah, like a mirror image here.

No, I can read your signs. Yeah, cyber frog is the right way. Okay, good. It's just me. So we've been having a lot of fun for the over the last I don't know how many years this has been that we've been That since Vito involved everyone in comicscape In the war of the comic books. Why did he do that? Why what is Vito even doing? He's not a comic book guy He doesn't he's no business here I showed up and caused all kinds of problems Vito's presence in comics gate caused about one third of comic skate to defect and he

isn't even comic state He's just built like the comics but guys I mean it's just Unbelievable. All I hear is Vito is Ethan's best friend now. He is allowing Unbelievable all I hear is Vito is Ethan's best friend now. He is allowing you to generate Kudos and that's yeah, I barely know him get him out of here. I don't care about Vito. It's the worst It's funny man, I see your Your enemies are even dumber than mine when I see this stuff you go through. I'm like man that is That is really dumb What that guy's doing. That's a, I don't know if my enemies are that dumb and I thought they were dumb,

but that's dumb. How can, how can my enemies be dumber than me? They should have, uh, you know, well, listen, I mean, you're, you know, your enemies are dumb, but you're fairly smart. Uh, I am dumb. I'm definitely low IQ Jersey trash. Uh, and yet I got people from all over the world who just kind of fucking step on rakes and landmines in front of me Get me I I don't get it. I really don't get it. I don't get it either, but you can see it coming a mile away It's so weird It's fun I I love it. I don't know, I wasn't planning on jumping right into it, but your buddy,

God, what is his name? Dan? Dan Fraga. Johnny and I were talking about it before the show. He decided to film himself and his children simulating a blowjob to humil- to hurt you. Going down the highway at 70 miles an hour, he holds up his camera to him and his little children, and they all go one, two, three, throat goat,

and the little kid in the back is pumping his fist into his mouth, and then doing some crazy Move that I've never seen with the balls. He's like really pounding the balls. I don't want to show it I don't want to show it honestly because I feel I feel so bad. I felt so bad Seeing it and he's got this I know that guy's your friend, but he's got this like, he's got this rick, this grin staring back at the camera, like the clown from Spawn, as his kids just deep throating an invisible man in the back seat and I'm going,

no, this is so bad, what are you doing? Delete it, delete it, delete it. And I'm like, doing the silent prayer like, sign, doing the silent prayer. Like, please, nobody posts with the kids, but you know, they're going to do it. Uh, forever. Um, that sticks with you. I mean, that's something that's going to follow him around forever. And the worst thing is that he and his wife, the mother of those children,

don't seem to understand what they did wrong. Uh, they're just like, what? It's a dick joke. The kids all know dick jokes. There's a kid in a car seat back there gone, throw code. It's like a two year old kid in a car seat yelling, he's the man, Skyver is the throw code. It's so, I didn't think the, I didn't think the work, the, the week could get any worse after Eric's meltdown. But Eric is funny man. Eric's having a good time. Well, first of all, Eric loves the throat goat thing because ice on three is a catastrophe. And if you're watching what Eric's doing,

and I know that you are kind of somewhat, it's taken up your peripheral vision at least. If you're watching what he's doing, he's putting out all of these comics. He's just flinging, like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what'll stick at this point. None of his books are funny. And I happened to say on one of my trashcast episodes,

I said, IsOM is it man? ISOM 3 is the big, that's the big, that's, that's the, uh, the big weapon that you've gotten your arsenal. So if you want to pull out ISOM 3 and fund that's going to summertime big blockbuster, you're going to do well. He'll probably get to a million dollars on and over a million dollars on ISOM 3. And Eric, two days later, he launched ice on three. And I know he listens to my show. He can talk about how he like, he wouldn't take my advice when it could have

helped them. We could have all been friends. But now that like, you know, we're bitter and bittered enemies, or at least I think he's definitely mine, but I think he's funny. I'm not going one way. No, of course. Everyone's mad at him only. Right, right, right. Yeah. Like I, I I'm loving all this. Now that like, you know, he's mad at him only. Right, right, right. Yeah. Like, I'm loving all this. Now that, like, you know, he's angry with me and he can't just come to me like, yo, bro, what do you think I should do here? He's just listening to my show spitefully

and then doing what I say anyway. Dick, I told him to shave his beard and he did. He did. I saw that too. The next day, I'm like the father he never had. He's my, I'm a proud papa of my boy, Eric. So my son, proud of you. Eric, by the way, I'm proud of you for watching this. I gotta find, I gotta find this statue too.

Here's the, here's the- Oh, show the statue. Here's the Yaira statue. The eyes, Johnny, I don't know if you can see that, but it looks like the eyes are pointing the wrong way. Like a wall-eyed reverse cross-eyed. That is kind of the- Brandon in the warehouse did the corrections on the thing.

I'm doing my best! I'm surrounded by assholes. That's hard to look at. Yeah. It is! I'm having trouble processing this. That's hard to look at. I'm having trouble processing this. Yeah. The teeth. Yeah.

I just saw that and went, that is a hideous, uh, and that's just, uh, yeah, that's well, I'm not going to criticize that's hiring a poor factory. You know, the, you've got to have these, uh, you know, Chinese slaves, like carefully pay, you got to tell them what to do. You got to go through it and say, these paint steps are very important. Do not paint the teeth to look like a fucking jackass. Don't do that. You know, whatever you do.

And you send it back. They give you samples and you send it back over. I had to do that with my Heather Swain action figure for my cyber frog toy line. Yeah. They were doing all kinds of weird shit with her face. And I sent it back eight times. Well, they gave her doll eyes, like just white with like a little dot in the middle.

I said, no, no, no, no, no, ladies. No ladies. I had to send it back a bunch of times because I knew they painted her lips too thin. I'm like, no, no, no. That's not how white women look. That's correct. She's Caucasian. I know that you guys, you think that we have big cartoon round eyes over here,

but like, just follow the dance steps. You know, like open the eyes up. There's still little dots in them. So I'm yet to send it back over and over again. That's called QC quality control. And I, you know, Eric's clearly, Eric doesn't know those letters. So quality control, not a thing.

It's been so funny, man. All this stuff, even Riley getting arrested. Uh, that was, it sucks for him, but it was, it was the whole thing was so funny to watch unfold Riley's a good soldier because like, who cares? Like, like if Riley does go to jail over this, like who cares? Riley doesn't even care. I don't think man solid cares. No, it's funny to see him just kind of be like,

I don't care. I'm going to take this all the way to trial. We'll take it to the Supreme court. Like if we have to, like, I don't really give a fuck. And then yeah, how that all ended up was all in his favor. He played his cards perfectly there, perfectly. And then he came back and his his return stream was he played this this video this like epic video to lead into his stream and

meant One of them fucked up the audio so it was totally mute when they came back and it's meant just you know How she looks like she's just talking Just you know how she looks like she's just talking Total silence and then you can see the realization that they know the audios fucked up and Riley comes in shouting like the Honeymooners and then she's shouting back in total silence like like an old-time movie You know funniest bit of anything I've ever seen in my life. It was so funny Yeah, I don't know, man. What's the deal?

Why does everyone melt down around you? I really don't get it. It's just so, you're such a, like you're, I mean, I'm not gonna say you're a nice guy, but I don't know what makes them all trip out and melt down. It's like one after the other. It's so crazy.

I wonder about it. I truly, I don't know. Like I, honestly, I mean, well, so I think about this all the time. I talk to my wife about it. That's where I'm at. You mean, well, I mean, well, like, you know, I'm not out to hurt anybody. My intentions are entirely like, Hey, you know, I got canceled from the comic book industry. I have all this cloud. I've got fans, I've got a YouTube channel and I've got an audience that's like, you want to sell us some comics?

We'll buy your comic books. I'm like, that's perfect. We lost the light. Yeah, it's really cool. I didn't know that having kind of seen all this go down over the last year or two or whatever, it is really cool how dedicated your fan base is to support comics. And you have them on to promote their stuff and they

buy it it's really they support it it's really cool I love my fans I love my audience I love my backers my customers are great and the fact that they're willing to kind of go um Vito's comic you want us to buy Superkiller okay you know what I mean like I love them for that because that's what ComicSkate is supposed to be. So basically all you have to do is come on the show. You know, if you're funny, if you've got a comic book that looks halfway decent, come on the show and you do this. You do a little banter, do a little whatever it is as often as I'll let you come on.

And then you're going to do way better. The problem with doing comics right now in the indie space Is that not everybody's Eric July not everybody's me most people don't have big platforms of people who are just like yeah, what do you got you got to promote your comics and there's No way like there's no way to do it. You know YouTube is the the best way and I'm pretty. I'm a good carnival barker. If you want to call me that, I can sell. So I'm happy to do that for people because it's kind of like, I feel like my audience made me a millionaire and I should be in the gutter like just the way that you know, my life kind of went Being kind of kicked out of comics for my politics

So I need to pass on how that works, huh? Just a little the little little decisions here and there and now you're on top of the world versus just like Totally destroyed but it's karma. I mean, this is the thing. It's just endless karma. It's like, so you get that, you pay it back. So I'm trying to help a lot of the professionals who were also either blacklisted or just too old. They can't get work anymore because that's where the comic book industry is.

And when I started doing that, a bunch of kind of like indie nobodies, amateurs, kind of started hitting me up and going, you know, people are talking about how you're helping all these big professionals, but we were here first in the Indies thing. I'm like, dude, we have 40, 30, 40 year careers. What are you talking about? We were here first.

We were here. Your credits go way deeper than I thought. Like I was, I don't know. I was watching your intro video or something. I'm like, wait a minute. That's a real, that's the justice league movie. Wait a minute. That's the other these are a lot of credits that are stacking up here Can you give me like that? I don't know like the top ten or something Honestly all this has gotten me back into comics

I was reading my wife's making fun of me last night because I was reading invincible Yeah, just cuz I'm like, all right, well, I mean, I don't know. I remember reading comics. We'll get back into it. Invincible by Robert Kirkman. Robert Kirkman is my idol in a lot of ways in comics in the sense that like that guy knows how to promote himself. He started with Walking Dead and Invincible and he's like nearly a billionaire now.

I'm quite sure. I didn't know that. And I also didn't know how new the the property invincible was it was like Yeah, it was fairly new I don't know I thought like you had to have been around since the 40s to get a Movie to get a comic turn to the movie, but that show is that shows huge and it's great Yeah, like well

I mean once Walking Dead hit and I was I I was actually, so the reason why I was late to be the show, I had a barber's appointment for, uh, from my daughter. So I'm, I'm actually talking to my barber about Robert Kirkman just like half an hour ago. Yeah. And, uh, I was just like, uh, I had, I got to have dinner with him before Walking Dead hit. So I was at this image dinner meeting where they were trying to buy a contract with me

and a couple other artists and Robert Kirkman was there and I just started reading his book and I was like walking dead is great like that should be an HBO TV show did you ever think about that did you ever think about going on HBO and he said HBO huh well you know there's something you'll see so he already had that kind of thing in the works but he was a really really nice guy who basically just gave me the the secret success, the victory in comics and indie comics, which I carry with me in my heart and my brain. This guy knew how to become a millionaire in independent comics.

And then of course spread out to the wider media. Yeah. I love the secret. It's too complicated to just go. It's, it's, it's business stuff. Keeping your stories in print all the time. Like you put it out, you put out the opposite of what Eric July is doing. Actually you put out your books in short runs, you sell them through, you reprint them again with new covers. You always keep your books in print and available for collectors and for newcomers. So, you know, that's what he did with Walking Dead.

Walking Dead, number one, has a zillion covers. In fact, I did one of them. I drew one of the covers to see. That's what I mean, man. Like when I say deep credits, like no fucking way that that's like a serious mark. And yeah, I'm proud of that. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I worked it. I did Cyber Frog at first.

I went to DC Comics and DC comics kind of You know, let me do some Batman some Catwoman work And then they put me on Green Lantern and that's really where I made my mark I think most of my credits are Green Lantern created a lot of characters for Green Lantern The flash the whole flash TV. Did you work on the clean, the green Laner with the bowl haircut? Whatever that is. Yeah, I brought him back and I took away his bowl haircut. That's the first thing I did.

I said he's a jarhead. I can't do this. Either he's like a like he's kind of a he's kind of a butthole, but like he's he's got to be cooler than this. He can't be a clown in that way. Like, yeah, visually. So I gave him a nice eye and tight haircut, you know, like the Marine would have. And he became very popular again. Guy Gardner became great. And then as soon as I leave, this is what happens.

They give him back the stupid bowl cut and put him in a movie. It's going to be a disaster. It's going to be terrible. The bowl cut's not working on Nathan Fillion. I love it. He's not Guy Gardner anyway. You know who Guy Gardner is? Guy Gardner is Biff from Back to the Future. Yes. Yeah. If you could get him, go back in time and get him or somebody exactly like him to be Guy Gardner.

Yeah. You got the character perfectly. Yeah. So, you know. Okay, so you were at the Image, you were at the Image Dinner and you met, what was it? Rob, Robert.

Robert Kirkman. Robert Kirkman. The creator of The Walking Dead. Yeah, and I just had that one. It was me, two other artists, it was me, Dave Finch and Steve McNiven, and we were shopping ourselves around, comic book fans will know those names,

they're big name artists. We were shopping ourselves around as a package deal to Image, Marvel, DC, Boom Studios, like everybody. And Image sat us down and we were going to be the first group of artists that they actually paid a salary. They weren't going to do that for anybody else. You have to pay Image to get published by them. Then their clout is what eventually pays you in royalties.

But they were actually going to pay us a salary. That negotiation dinner where I was just like, I don't want to work with Image, but I do want to sit here and talk to Robert Kirkman all night. And that was that was what I remember from it. So it was really cool. That's cool. That's a hero. He's amazing, amazing creator. What is he doing now? Just invincible all the time? He's just a Hollywood guy. And I'm sure he can walk into any room and get any TV show any movie made. You know, I'm sure he can walk into any room and get any TV show, any movie made. I'm sure he's got that kind of power right now,

that kind of power. I saw him saying this comic was made by dumb white guys in the early 2000s. Like, oh man, come on, you don't have that kind of money yet. I just assume everybody around me all the time is a leftist. I mean, I swam in those waters for so long. It's like a warm puddle of AIDS when you're in comics.

You're like in this just constantly. I think you kind of have to be to like get by in a creative field just because being like, it's just non-confrontational, you know? Like the non-confrontational. Everybody's passive aggressive. Yeah, very feminine. Yeah.

Like if you throw in any kind of confrontation You know, like the non-competitive. Everybody's passive aggressive. Yeah. Very feminine. Yeah. Like if you throw in any, if you throw in any kind of confrontation or right wing, like, I don't know, ideology or instincts, then it kind of fucks everything up. Yeah. Well, they didn't know what to do with me. I'll tell you that. You know, I was like, well, I'm just going to be like you except right wing. Like, you know, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to say exactly what you're saying, but I'm going I'm gonna do it you know as a right winger and I thought that was fair play but man they really didn't know what to do with me they got rid of me pretty quick who's that image no no no DC con the entire comic book industry I mean I'm blacklisted I'm thoroughly blacklisted is there any chance you're gonna come back and Kumi is back if there's anybody that I said it would have no Chance of coming back. It would have been Anthony Koumea. There's no way He's gonna be on radio ever again, right and now he's syndicated like overnight Yeah, I saw that I saw that they're trying to get rid of him again. Yeah, which is interesting

Yeah, no, I don't have any interest in it. I really love Cyber Frog. I really love what I'm doing now. There's way more money in it too. I mean, I would never have a million dollars in the bank if I were still at DC. It just would never happen. You know, those guys die broke. Everybody, unless you create something big on your own

and go indie, you know, you're going to die broke most likely because you've got about a 20 to 30 year career span in mainstream comics. And then they go, we're sick of you. We're going to get these young kids in who we can pay less money to, which is exactly what I did to my warehouse boys too. And I got, I got a warehouse to where, and I got, these guys are just like, I need a raise. I need a raise.

I'm like, great, see ya. And here comes a new younger kid who will work for like you know what you started at Makes aren't a family. No Addier no, how can you know you pictures at your warehouse all the time? Like where's you looking like a tough guy? Yeah, I haven't done that I should make yet. Yeah. I haven't done that. I should, I should make a music video. And I love the Eric stuff. It's so funny. It's so funny that somebody would fuck up like just so hard every time. You know, that's what you're looking at right now, man.

All of his behavior right now is ice on threes catastrophic failure. Cause it's all down from there. Like what else does he have? What's on the horizon? You've got Yellow Flashes piece of shit coming up. Fuck. Yellow Flash is going hard at me right now, because he knows what's coming.

He knows what's going to happen when that book comes out. He knows. Dude, it's like these guys have read things, so they think writing is easy. It is just, it just drives me insane. Like you thought you could just nail it out of the park on your first. All of you, all of you thought you could nail it out of the park and your first at bat and you just can't.

There's no way it's going to be good. There's no way. They have no respect for creative people at all. Look at what they do for a living. I mean, you know, they run down, there are brilliant people, like just, you know, just on your Jurassic Park sequel, like run of the mill popcorn munching blockbuster,

there are fucking geniuses, dozens of them working on those movies. And they have no respect for their work whatsoever. They're all imbeciles who made another, you know, box office bomb, losers, woke, no respect for these people at all. And that's why like when it's their turn at the plate, it's like they haven't learned anything. You know, they have no humility.

They don't know anything about what it means to actually craft a story. And it's embarrassing. You know, Eric July's response to you was what broke me away from all of us. Oh, when he said that it doesn't matter, it's just the business matters. That's like the creativity doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean, Dick, you know, people can go back and watch that video

where you first appeared. And I kind of, you know, Eric, of course, is like my son. I'm like his, the father that left for cigarettes and never came back. I'm, I'm proud of that. I'm giving him all the, you know, all the support that I can, but like I was, my attitude about him was, uh, this is like, this is going to be good for Indie comics because Eric's going to come in, he's going to bring more people into Indie comics and his books. We're going to have to support Eric and just sort of teach him. You know, everybody has to be taught. I had, when I first started, I had all the, you know, I was 19,

but I had like all of the confidence, self-confidence to be able to make a comic book. But then I had the humility to listen and I'm telling you, other pros beat me down when I was a kid Just like you know this shit sucks. Like what are you doing? Watch this and they draw over my pages and stuff and I it hurts But like if you're my attitude was I'm gonna have it. I need to have a future in this business I've got to listen. I gotta listen to these guys They're they're being mean to me in order to break my ego down.

Everybody, everybody who wants to be in comics was the best artist in their high school. You know what I mean? And you have this ego that comes with that. Yeah. But I'm telling you, once you get into comics and you're around real honest to God, creative geniuses on a relative level, um, you realize that doesn't mean shit. Like some of the best artists in the world

are drawing comics and they're looking at your work now. So I figured we would have to create that environment for Eric and teach him things. And I didn't want to be the guy to do it. I would talk to him about art, but when you came out with your story structure critique, that was so basic and fair and direct and honest. And I mean, of course, you know, like you were doing it to make fun of Eric

and the people who bought his book, but that's irrelevant. It doesn't matter what your intention. Yeah. But I mean, it has to be like, it has to be very like, I have to be a hundred percent sure that what I'm saying is right or I'm going to get roasted. So this is the most very basic screenwriting shit Possible. I'm not like I'm not pretending to be anything more than Very very basic amateur level stuff or else I'm gonna get destroyed here

Well, let's see. That's what you said at the beginning of our interview you and me just now was like why are your enemies? So stupid and see we're conscious of that you and me kind of have like the same We don't want to be stupid to our enemies. So it's like, we're going to give them a fair shake. Like when you criticized Eric, you, because you dislike Eric and you realize that if you give him poor criticism, rather than, you know, it's not good faith or bad faith, it's poor, wrong, incorrect criticism. Yeah. You would, you would look like bad faith. It's poor, uh, wrong, incorrect criticism. Yeah. Uh, you would, you would look like a dummy.

You'd look like, I mean, I would have to be like, this is stupid. Like this is wrong. Like, yeah. Yeah. But instead it was like, no, this is like Eric, like this is the first basic and fair criticism that I've seen you receive. And his reaction to it was so embarrassing for me. And now it's funny.

But at the time I was like, like, like really like hiding my face and cringing because he just had a nervous breakdown over it. He started performing. I think he thought like this was you're still a YouTuber who's going to go into these theatrical antics and own your haters. But it's like Dix a hater. But this isn't the hater material that you're looking for. This is helpful.

And I tried to like trying to explain that nuance to Eric July. I might as well have been doing sign language to like, you know, a zoo animal. Like, yeah, I was going to say, be real careful where this metaphor is. I mean, anything. I mean a giraffe So, um, like he didn't understand that at all He's just like you better fucking watch her, you know, like you you think you're somebody around here. You you know, you ain't shit Right, it's giving me this attitude like complete of which I should expect like no respect for creative people no respect at all no that kind of happened when like when everybody wrote these dumb manliness books like me and Maddox and Tucker max

like remember way back in the day I don't was it 2000 early 2000s everybody on the internet thought that they were gonna become a Hollywood filmmaker or like Hollywood trendsetter. And guys in Hollywood thought that too, but the problem is all these guys come off, these guys are already famous, so when they come into a new area, they have huge egos,

they have no desire to learn any of it, they have no genuine desire. It's just wanting to cash in and get a bigger audience. So anytime anybody tries to cross over from like this point of pre-existing fame, they all treat it the same way. Like, okay, I'm here. Where's my greatest,

where's my comic book of the year award? Right, 100%. He's waiting for that. He's here to learn from me. Yeah. Yeah, Eric's waiting for that. Like, he's just like, at this point, he's talking about normal comic creators as though they're elitists

that are gatekeeping him from the Eisner Awards. I mean, it's like, dude, you stink. Your books are bad. And the thing is, again, I was gonna stick with him and just defend him. At one point, I was like, I will debate veto about the merits of ISOM. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was saying that stuff. merits of ice long Yeah, I mean like I would win that I mean yeah, I would even now I would win it

But I mean I will you know like ultimately like I can't wait for super killer to come out just so the criticism will start I'm just like yeah I'm dying for super to killer to come out so that the reviews will begin. Because that's going to be that's going to be revenge of the Sith, right? That's going to be when the real blood starts. I got to be honest, I read it and I well, I read half of it. You gave me half of it. Yeah, it's good. It's it's it's fun.

It's like an Oni comic. You know, it's it's not it's all right. You know, if you're looking for it to be heinous and retarded, like, you know, yellow flashes, golden patriot is going to be, you're going to be disappointed. Like if you're hoping to really roast it. Now, the artwork is I think they're going to roast it no matter what. I mean, they're going to be everyone.

It's going to be a full assault. Yeah. That's what I mean. So funny. Yeah, it's going to be funny. It's gonna break veto down He's probably gonna cry again But it's it's truly not bad I mean if we're if we're being honest, yeah the half that I read and it could go to shit at the I don't know You know, maybe the second half isn't good. But the half that I read was fairly witty, fun to read. Um, and kind of like this trashy sort of, uh, you know, only for hipsters, you know, it means super hero deconstruction for hipsters in Portland, Oregon,

you know, it's, it is what it is, you know, but it's not, it's not horrible. It's not inept. No, it's just, no, you know, it's veto. You want to read a comic book by veto? I guess, you know, he paid for it. I did. I read it. It was fine. There's nothing wrong with it. I would not, I'm not going to be, I'm not, I'm not going to get on the veto hate

train, uh, just because there's incredible peer price for the do so. I've never been that guy. No. Um, you know, I really have to see evidence that veto fucks kids. And I've never been that guy. No. I really have to see evidence that Vito fucks kids and I don't think he does. I don't think so either. I've seen, I've not seen that.

I've seen him say that he does, but that's just not enough. Like I, you know, I'm not sure if people say, like this is me defending Vito. I'm not quite sure that he fucks kids. So there you go. He might want to, because that would really own the conservatives.

But I don't think he does. I don't think he could bring himself to do it. Even no matter how funny it was. A little effort. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I stuck up for him one time. He sent me a big message. He's just like, I hope I don't let you down. I'm like, do you or do you not fuck kids? Like, you know, that's that's, that's, that's simple. Stop saying it.

I mean, you know, like if I'm, if I'm putting my reputation on the line by saying you don't fuck kids, it kind of makes me think you fuck kids. I don't know. It's it. I think you don't. My, my guess, if I were gambling on this,

I would say no, but also I'd probably cut my bet in half. You know what I mean? Yeah. I know, but also I probably caught my bet in half. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't think you do, but I wouldn't be shocked. I'd be surprised. I'd be like, okay. You got me. You got me, you son of a bitch.

I'm willing to get got for Vito on this one. I'll put myself out there. You guys are great together. You guys are great. Oh, thank you. You have such a good charisma. I love the new guy. Can't see him right now.

Johnny? Johnny? Oh, here I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, Johnny. Yeah, you are. You're really nice, man. We were watching you the other day.

All the gay guys in my audience, and there are quite a few are swooning over you. Oh my God. Oh man. Well, you know, Sean's a tough act to follow. So I mean I'm trying to he is It's a big V man good job. Good job, man. Good job but Vito and and dick have this incredible chemistry where it's just like I Don't know how you tolerate this guy, you know, he he just sometimes he fucking aggravates me so much

Cuz he's got cuz all of his problems go back to a couple things. Like, okay, well, you know, you kind of have to put some effort in to this. He's just like always wiggling out of, he's one of those like toys that just always wiggles out of your grip. Well, he's caught in the Mario 64 running up the infinite stairs. He needs to go get those more stars where he clean, you know, cleans his house and stuff like that. Yeah. But he's not, he's just going to keep running those more stars where he cleans his house and stuff like that. Yeah.

But he's not. He's just going to keep running up the stairs until he breaks the game finally. And I can't stop hoping that I just want to... I'm looking forward to Superkiller more than anybody else, but I have to like block it out of my mind. Like just stop waiting for it. Stop. Because it's going to come out. Your frustration is going to come out. Just put it out of your head. A watch pot never boils, but if you don't watch it, you know, it's never gonna come out either

So I think shit like oh, it might be out before hack a mania and I'm like don't say That that's very close I'm under the impression that it's his artist. That's all I think I keep telling telling people it's not Vito. Vito's part's done and Vito even laid it out with stick figures. Like, and by the way, his artist is barely improving on the stick figures. I mean, I don't know what his artist is doing, but I don't know where he found this person. I don't know. He's very protective of his artists. He he made a big speech that it's not his artist's fault and don't bother him.

So of course everyone's sending me screenshots of how they're fucking with his artists on Instagram. Like, okay, man, I don't know why you're doing that, but. It's so bad, dude. It's just, it's not, it's not so bad. It's just, it's, he could do better. And it's the same thing I told Yellow Flash. I said, everybody's going to be looking at, see,

the thing is like, if you're a nobody, you know, and nobody cares about your comic and your comic is at the mercy of a, you know, a patient audience, that's one thing. Yeah. People are waiting for Yellow Flash. People are waiting for Vito. Like who I am. You know, I'm waiting for that shit.

People are going to be looking at it. And I told yellow flash the same thing. I would tell Vito, like, you gotta get the best artists you can get and I'll help you. I'll help you find someone, but you gotta get the best artists you can get. And neither guy did unfortunately. So we're in for, uh, I mean, when the, when the story is barely competent and you've got an artist who, you know, about 40% of professional, you're in trouble. You're in trouble.

It's going to be great. Yeah, I know. I can't wait. I think I'll get my first good night of sleep in quite some time once Superkiller's finally is out. Does it cause you guys stress? Like what is it? What is it like?

I mean, is there any stress involved in you guys waiting for Superkiller and the delay? It's an excuse for me because then I can just be like, Vito, you got to finish your fucking thing, man. Get your life together. And I know how to finish projects, so I'm not worried about it. It's easy for me to accuse someone else of being bad at something when I finish my work. Yeah. to accuse someone else of being bad at something when I finish my work. Yeah, for me, yes, because I'm like, all right, well, I kind of can't move my head beyond this

to, first of all, anytime we talk about anything, the biggest comment's going to be, where's Superkiller, where's Superkiller, where's Superkiller? So like, you have to put this, you have to solve this riddle in everyone's mind. It's like a curse. Like he's done like the smile curse on the whole audience, Vito has.

He's like half killed himself. So everybody in the audience is now like twisted up inside, which is great for radio, but it's like it becomes this huge weight of like, all right, I kind of can't focus on any other storyline until this one gets resolved. Yeah. Well, we're saying-

Why doesn't he show pages? Why doesn't Vito do like a demo where, you know- Why don't we have a black extra large shirt in our, a trucks me shirt in our store? Why doesn't Vito go on Printful and assign the design to an in- stock black shirt and put it up for sale I don't know He just doesn't do it. He's not motivated. You know well, then here's the thing too is we have super killer based plushies

There's a veto plushie and someone else even made super killer base But we don't have the there's a super killer Comic there's a super killer comic. That's. There's a super killer comic that's great that somebody actually made. Oh yeah, the leather one, yeah. Yeah. Um, so I'm having a kid. You know that, right? Yeah, congratulations. It's great. Oh boy, thank you. You got any- You changed your wife?

Yeah, how old- you have a son, don't you? Yeah, he's 26. He's 26, wow. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, I had him when I was 25. And yeah, he's a great guy. So he went to, you know, when it came time to go to college, he said, I'm gonna take up a trade.

And I said, oh my God, I love my boy. So what do you wanna do? I'm so proud of you that you're not going to go to college and be some fucking homo. He said, I want to learn how to fix cars. And I went, I'm so proud. I'm as proud of Hunter, I think at least as proud of Hunter as I am of my boy, Eric, who started a comic book company with my other son. Eric's 37 years old.

So I got a 26 year old and a 27 year old. Where is that? He's black somehow. I don't know how that happened, but I don't know. I don't know how black he is actually I think I'm more black than him Eric said did you I don't know if you caught that Did you see Eric said let's play one of Eric's videos before you go to is of mice and men Yeah, you're in a pretty blue liberal stronghold. You got any sun raising advice for me? I already avoided a kindergarten. A neighbor recommended this kindergarten

that was expensive. I hopped on there to learn about how to apply when they're the second they're born to get on the waiting list, right? Yeah And it said here's our curriculum In the books were like how to not how to raise an anti-racist baby and why black babies are better than white babies And I was like, I don't think that I don't think I want to spend money on on this My advice to you is let your wife do all of the work. Let his mother do all the work.

You show up right around the time that he's old enough to take the ball games and then double down on that when he's old enough to drink. That's the best. And from there, just yeah, let the, just guide him, but you don't have to do much Dick. I got to be honest with you. It's mostly women's work. Thank God. Yeah. don't worry about it that works the best advice yeah yeah I'm just gonna do that then okay let me play this let me play

this video I want to play it so you can see it too I don't know if you I don't know if you can though yeah let's see whoops whoops whoops did that come through no but don't worry about it I'll Yeah, let's see Swoops did that come through No, but don't worry about it. I'll hear it and I'll picture Eric in my head But I'll probably picture him as a puppet cuz that's why I seem that oh shit I have puppet videos too. You know what I I want to watch this though. Yeah ripoff first is doing a great job Yeah, he is man. You know who else is great? Johnny Rocket. How's Helephant going?

Helephant's going great. Those guys turn in a page and a half every week and it's top notch stuff. The script is, it's fun to read. The dialogue is punchy. And the two of them are just like the artist and the writer together, just collaborating. Fantastic.

I don't have to do much anymore. I did the plot, gave it to them have to do much anymore. I did the plot, gave it to him and they ran with it. So what is the plot? I mean, he's a hell elephant. No, the plot is there's a circus and there's a beautiful mother elephant named Daisy who has a baby elephant and the guy who owns the circus loves his animals, but he gets in debt with the mob and they eventually take his circus from him and start beating the animals and abusing them for fun. And they kill the baby elephant.

And the mother flips out when she sees this and she kills a few of the people, a few humans, a few of the gangsters. They electrocute her. They execute the elephant like they did back in the 1920s, I think. They did that in Atlantic City. So, she is about to burn her corpse. She bursts out of the inferno, burst right out of the oven to take vengeance that she

remembers. They were laughing. They're laughing at the baby. They're laughing at her. Okay. And she comes back to life, you know, hell, you know, kind of of invades takes over her soul and she's allowed to get revenge Okay, so she's an undead Mother angry mother elephant named Daisy who just goes around just killing all the people responsible for destroying the circus

And that it's a it's it's Friday the 13th By way of an animal movie like Dumbo like a gumbo me dark Dumbo Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah that guy Johnny rocket, too He's got the maniac too. Have you seen that I did see it did send it. Yeah, it looks good. Yeah, it looks good I don't know why I think like read when I get the whenever I read Johnny Rock and stuff that I'm reading something bad. You remember how watching Beavis and Butthead when I was a teenager, I wasn't allowed to watch it. So I would watch it and be like, ah, I'm doing something bad.

Or watching Made with Children, I'm like, oh, I know I'm not supposed to be watching this. You know it's good, but you don't want to believe how you're just like, I know there's something here. Yeah. I don't want to spoil it to yourself. Yeah.

Remember the trauma movies that you would rent because they had just great names. I mean, you know, toxic Avenger is like the first one that I ever saw. And you know, it's just over the top violence. It's just people being shitheads and then being killed. I mean, that's what, that's what Johnny does. And he's, he's excellent at it. He does fun to read trash that you feel guilty about reading, but it's delicious. It's like, it's awesome.

Fantastic writer. Okay. Here's another fantastic writer singing a song. Let's see if we can get this working. Oh yeah, cut the volume a little on your end too. Okay. I'll cut the, yeah. Okay.

I'll bring it up. Ethan, you should be able to see this on Google if you look at our camera. Okay. Okay, here you go. Different keyboard in the background now too. There's another instrument that Eric cannot play in the background. It's an old Casio, yeah. Get the speakers built in. Oh David Byrne. I'm the one who only fly away and grow older No one's good, no one's good, please bring the charge

Fight fire with fire, this is gonna decline The wind blows like a storm, the wind blows like a storm Oh Soothe my mind with everything honest, yeah give me my silence Soothe my mind with everything honest, yeah give me my own life I dream forever Hiding myself from the world, cause no colder I wanna be stronger than oceans I wanna live mountainside Bring back living to your name

I wanna live mountainside I wanna be stronger than oceans I wanna live my life I'm so sick of the emotions I wanna live my life I wanna live my life I wanna live my life I wanna live my life

I wanna live my life I wanna live my life I wanna live my life I wanna live my life I wanna live my life I wanna live my life Two feet between his bed and his body. The Pikachu shirt is the craziest part. That's gangsta. It would be if it was like airbrushed on. Oh yeah. It's as if he's more gangsta.

Tweety Bird. Tweety Bird with the bad attitude and the backwards hat kind of vibe. Goku would have been a better choice. Goku's always very funny. He's singing this like he's the one who wrote the lyrics and it's really weird seeing someone with half conviction or someone else's lyrics. The fire! The fire! The fire! The fire! The fire! I like the stiff arm movement.

The fire! What a stiff arm! He's getting a leg up in the universe. That's a no from me, dog. So that guy... That guy made shitty comics. That guy called you a gay retard, man. He called me a gay retard. That guy called me a gay n-word. A guy in a retard man. He called me a gay retard

That guy called me a gay and we're in a Pikachu shirt singing like this singing about water Who my nail Eric look at your nails where why? It's the shittier of the two keyboards he has in the background too. Yeah, the other one was better I don't know. What are you looking forward to about you got a I know that you have your King's show Ethan What are you looking forward to this year Golden Patriot? What else we got? God, I'm looking forward to all of it. I guess a great war of separation just shipped I don't really want to read that and I don't think anybody did look at the sales. Yeah just shipped. I don't really want to read that. I don't think anybody did.

Look at the sales. Yeah. Um, Zaylin is a catastrophe right now. Zaylin is going to sell even less than us. Male prostitute or something. I think the worst, I mean, yeah, like let's take Prince Namor, let's mash it up with Wolverine, Green Lantern and Superman and just fucking call it a comic. It's the most cynical exercise. Just garbage, just trash. And the fans identified it. So let's see, that's what's so nice about this

is it's like, I'm like, nobody's so stupid. They're not going to buy this and they don't buy it. It's wonderful. It's fantastic. Yeah. It's nice to have a mix of faith. Yeah, I'm anxious to read Isom 3. I actually do, it's 144 pages. Isn't that I was surprised at that

You think they're gonna try to fix everything Because they already fixed a bunch of stuff I said in the in the first one like the killing that bouncer they turned it into like an energy blast or some shit He's still dead. Like there's no fucking it didn't fix anything They just turned his blood blue, but I mean, his ribs are still cracked. The guy completely murdered that. But he did listen to Eric eventually listened to you. And that's the thing.

Like I think that he, you know, you weren't getting through to him, but you did. He just didn't want to admit it. Yeah. No, I just want to see how it all ends. 100. He needs 144 pages to wrap it up. I would just three pages of Eric July wakes up in his bed and goes, thank God it was all a dream.

Like I didn't just give this shit at $700 for these comics. That's great. It's a bad dream. Uh, that would be all it takes. 144 pages. I was telling my audience to just as a as a way to understand what it costs to make a comic book when you're doing almost none of the work, like the artwork, about a thousand dollars a page is what it costs to make a comic book.

We got to pay it. Yeah. Uh, you know, a writer pencil or ink or colorist letter about a thousand dollars on the low end. Okay. Wow. So that's $144,000 just for the creative aspect of making that comic. Yeah.

And then the print run, we all know what the printing costs at this point is. Uh, yeah. I saw three is a catastrophe. So when you see Eric writing these long screeds, blind iteming, you and me, you know what I mean? It just, yeah, that's why things aren't going so well. Oh, did you see Eric say that the puppets

are gay? And... Let me find this. He retweeted somebody going like N-word. Oh man, I can't say it. Look at this. Epic Mike said Niva, you make puppets sit the fuck down like bro. Why are you like using a black like tough?

Gangsta affect to defend Comic books against the puppet guy like what are you talking about? Sit the fuck down. What do you who is this for and then Eric's you know dying laughing reposting that? But you don't see that somebody else goes. Hey asshole. You made a little doll of a black girl Did you see that no Like a little plushie of blood Ruth, you know, it's like it looks that's infinitely gayer than puppets Oh, yeah, just as bad as you'd think too That's infinitely gayer than puppets. Way gayer.

It looks just as bad as you'd think, too. Oh. Eric, yeah, it looks exactly like Vito's. Yeah. Little Vito here. I had to yell at Vito about that. I'm like, what the hell are you doing? Making a plushie of yourself.

He just likes making things, man. He likes... No, he doesn't like making things. He doesn't make anything. Well, he'll make anything except the thing he's supposed to make. Yeah, he likes... he likes tchotchkes and toys. He's in 3D printer land now. And yeah, now he's got himself a 3D printer, so he's really dangerous.

He's gonna 3D print all the pages now. He's gonna 3D himself shut into his house. He's not careful. Does Vito know plushies are for little kids? And you know, I mean, basically what he's doing is normalizing putting himself in bed with children. I mean, this is not like a great thing with the Vito plushie. I tried to tell him that, like, stop making

plushies of yourself. You're not cute. You're an abomination. Nobody should want to snuggle Vito. The ham squash. I try to stop him from doing anything that's not like mission critical because everything just falls apart, you know, when you start when you start distributing your attentions and efforts on things that aren't mission critical. But that's a losing that's I gave up.

That's a losing, that's, I gave up. That's a losing battle. Now, I'm just, I'm, now I've learned to love the yo-yos and the, the super killer tic tacs or whatever else he's bringing in. Zen and the art of everything except the comic book? Yeah. I think that was a book, right? Yeah. Uh. Unreal. Yeah, anyway. Now that pisses me off.

That pisses me off. I saw that too. That was great. I love Eric's malapropisms. When are you going to, like, when are you going to stop making fun of Vito? I'm like, I would love to, but I can't. Like, every day it's something new.

Every day there's something new. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It doesn't stop and it's all good. It's all funny. It's all him lying or getting something wrong or failing. It's just hilarious. Wait, do you mean Eric or Vito? What did you say? No, no, no, Eric, not Vito.

Eric, I think you said Vito. Oh, did I mean to say Eric, not Vito? I was thinking Vito for what that's worth. I think we all were. I don't think he's ever, when do you think the last, what do you think's gonna happen? When do you think the first firing's gonna happen? It's gotta happen soon.

He can't maintain his staff unless he's getting money from somewhere else. But yeah, the first firing actually already happened. It was Gaebel Tayyib, the colorist. Oh yeah. the first firing actually already happened. It was Gaebel Taib, the colorist. Oh yeah. And the reason why that happened was because I told the internet, I told Trashcast why Gaebel Taib was the colorist. And back in 2022 when Eric and I were talking, he's like, how do you do this?

Where do you get this? How do you do that? What do you got? A Sprinter van? That's fucking awesome. And you gotinter van? That's fucking awesome. And you got a warehouse, that's fucking awesome. I need a colorist. And I was like, this guy, Gabe Altayib was in comics and he was driving me crazy. Like he was driving me insane. He was saying I wasn't promoting him enough.

Asked me if it was something personal. He was just an annoying guy. And I just kind of said, hey, Eric, like I got a colorist for you. He used to color gay Superman. Um, and he did, that's where he came from. He called it the gay Superman book, the fact did use that as a point of defection to come to comics gate.

I said, the thing is though, uh, you know, you gotta pay, he's an important guy. You gotta pay him $400 a page to color. Now just for a point of reference, a good colorist makes about 135, 150 a page. Shit. So I said, you gotta pay this guy $400 a page. And Eric said, yeah, so Eric's like, okay, that's no problem, man. Thanks for the hookup.

Gabe Altayib at first was like thrilled with me. He was like, holy shit, from my family to you. And I was like, hey man, good luck. Get the fuck away from me. So was like, holy shit from my family to you. And I was like, Hey man, like good luck, get the fuck away from me. Uh, so, uh, he went over with Eric and everything was fine until Gabe started deciding to talk some shit about me. Like online, he was doing the same kind of blind item. So I said, let me tell you a story about what I did to Eric via Gabe. I'll tie you

next day. Like, fuck. Fuck. Next day, the next day, Gabe was talking about how he had to move on from Rippoverse to Hoagy's on his own company. It's an amicable split. Like fucking fuckers. What's wrong with these people? Why can't they just be quiet and work? It's so no man

Whiting the hand that feeds is like like like all you had to do was not say anything Oh, you have to do is not make a video of your kids giving an imaginary blowjob like that. It's just great It's just not a good idea Didn't you have anyone to run this by Didn't you have anyone to run this by around you? Like obviously your wife is not someone you want to run it by, but anybody else, man? He was surrounded by more people like him who were like cheering him on. Yeah. That's who these guys are, man.

And that's why Trashcast continues. That's why the Dick Show continues. That's why biggest problem in the universe is hilarious Because I've got three too. You got to plug that too before you go, please. Oh, thank you. Yes I've a frog three red extermination on Indiegogo And maybe I don't know if you have a link that you can share somewhere on this video But I you guys could look that up on Indiegogo cyber frog three red extermination. Oh, we just hit $800,000 now, here's why this is important.

That's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm thankful to everybody. My comics are actually good. That's the first thing. Second thing is, and they're not just good, they're great. But the second thing is that this is Cyber Frog 3 and it's at 800,000.

I'm about to release three new covers, the last three covers that were promised on this campaign, variant covers, the last three covers that were promised on this campaign variant covers that might push it to a million. This will be the first book. This will be cyber frog three hitting a million dollars for the third time running. First to hit a million dollars, passed a million dollars. This will be coinciding with ice on three, which will be the first issue of ice on the

doesn't break. which will be the first issue of Ice on the Dozen breaking the land. See, the story is important. You see how important the objective and the motivation of the story are? No, I don't need it. $800,000 is a lot. And listen, I'm making the book. The book's great. I promise you it's going to be a great story. But wouldn't you also like to laugh? And is that not worth $25 to contribute to cyber frog three red extermination on Indiegogo

to help push that campaign and that comic book to a million dollars while Eric for the first time is unable to hit a million dollars on his books. I prefer three million ice on three, not a million. And it's looking like that's the way it's going to turn out. But definitely your audience could help. And I appreciate you. Yeah. I read the second one. You sent it to me and now I'm sucked in. So I'll be picking the third one up and looking forward to more. Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for calling in. And thanks for the really hilarious year. You too. I love it. We're having fun. That's what it's all about. My fiance said when all this

started she's like I don't care about she's when it started she said I thought there's no way I'm ever gonna care about this Eric July stuff but now I'm totally sucked in it's just it's so stupid and funny and everyone's having such a good time. It's great. Yeah. Well, thank you for having me guys. You have a great night and I'll come on again next time. Invite me anytime. Yeah, same. Amazing.

See ya. Cheers, Ethan. Okay, there he goes. Cyberfrog 3. Exciting. Million bucks. Third. How about that?

Third million bucks. Third time's the charm. Million bucks. Third. How about that? Third million bucks. Third time's the charm. Oh man. I wish I could draw. I'm glad I can't draw. I'm so glad I can't draw. You have to fight on the internet all the time if you can draw apparently.

That's a big part of it. If you're good at anything you gotta fight on the internet. Here we go. Jimmy says, was I wrong? He did say Vito at the end and he's screwing up all the internet. Oh, here we go. Jimmy says, was I wrong? He did say Vito at the end, and he's screwing up all the time. It's OK, because he wasn't wrong about either of them, really. So it's like, the only reason I thought of it is I'm like, I think he meant Eric just because of there's

a little bit more venom than there should be with Vito. That could just be me, though. Maybe I put that. No, because again, as you know, as sitting next to this chair, the hydraulic system is noticeably compromised in. Is that a sweatshirt? Okay.

Woman alert. Woman alert. Oh, God, my voice. Jimmy says, hey Dick, watching a show with my girlfriend the other day and the moon landing comes up. Already like where this is going. Women in the moon do not get along. It's made of cheese dude. They have a real blind spot for the moon. They don't really get it. At all. You think what I'm saying is crazy, but it's just not. You young men out there, you think, again, life is always, you always realize that you gave them too much credit. Everybody.

You said, you know what? Gave these people too much credit It's like that was stupider than I thought you could be and not went not only women mostly women, but Everybody yeah, they'll do somebody will do something you like I didn't know you could get to that position in your life and be that stupid and You win yeah, you get it. Here's a nickel. Yeah. Shame on me. Here's a stupid nickel. Here's a wooden nickel. I got a box of these and when I'm out, I'm dead.

I got a box of these little wooden nickels, a bag of them. And a demon told me that if I run out, I die. And every time somebody surprises me with how stupid they are, specifically because I didn't think it was possible to be that stupid, I got to give one up. And there you go and Even as I explained it I realized that they won't understand it Huh? That's what you get back. You're in wooden nickel death at that point. I'm dead. I lasted a day and a half Hey, Mr. Stoffelies. I ran out of all those nickels

Watching a show with my girlfriend the other day and the moon landing comes up Watching a show with my girlfriend the other day and the moon landing comes up Wonder what show they were watching The moon landing documentary nah probably Daredevil or something we went to the moon. Yeah She says the only iffy part for her. I love that one. Well, the only thing that doesn't make sense She says the only iffy part for her is how the flag looks like it's waving in the wind in the video. I keep it simple and explain that it's due to inertia. Moving the flagpole around causes that movement in the flag even in the vacuum.

She doesn't seem convinced, but we move on. A minute later, she says... And how did they not fall off the moon? I say gravity. She says, there's gravity on the moon? Go fuck yourself and smooches for all. Wow, that pisses me off. That pisses me off.

Did you send her to the moon But you know what I wouldn't have to give up a nickel in that case No, I'd have said I don't think so say not today Satan. I knew you were that stupid. Yep That's not a surprise at all. That's that one. I've heard I've actually probably heard that from a woman I've at least heard dumber because when the moon is in play yeah with women Literally anything you literally anything you could be on your ass out of wooden nickels There's one thing I know the moon will fuck them up big time Kenneth says

I'm about to hey dick. I'm about to gag at this Instagram account Look at how he panders to women and their delusions in every post says, hey, Dick, I'm about to gag at this Instagram account. Look at how he panders to women and their delusions in every post. It's got to be a Psyop to lower the birth rate. OK. Let's see. Damn, that's a good one, too.

Fire emails, everybody. Keep it going. Let's see this Instagram that you got here, Kenneth. Oh, Kenny Boy. It's called Big, Big G G Winter. And it's a giant ass black guy, very fit black guy, who says, me once, oh wait a minute.

You, okay, one of his Instagram posts is, You and your four friends go out to dinner. The check is $812.56. Your meal was $74. How much are you paying? Don't tell me this isn't just like a super simp account. Oh yeah. How much are you paying? Okay, how much?

Wait, what? What? How much are you paying? Okay, how much? ["I Think That You Should Let It Burn"] Wait, what? What is he cutting off in the background? Watermelons? What do you mean? You and your friend, how much are you paying? Is that supposed to be, is the answer in the song?

Me when she says I'm pregnant. Oh, he's making her like an elaborate meal. ["I Think That You Should Let It Burn"] Me when she says I'm pregnant. Oh, he's making her like an elaborate meal Ice cream on a steak You know buddy you could do you put in so much effort You put in so much effort to be this muscular and fit and then you use that to fuck us over and give these women this dopamine directly into their big fat pudding soaked veins.

This is what you do? The emailer was right. Kenneth, you were correct. You were right, Kenneth. Yeah, this is sickening. This is sickening to me. You're childish if you get her attached and treat her like your girlfriend and then tell her I'm not ready for a relationship. You motherfucker.

He's salting the earth. You earth-salting motherfucker. He's salting the earth. This is like the black version of an evangelical Christian pastor. He defected. That's like a child molester. Yeah. You know? He's on the other team now.

He defected. Well, that and he's fucking it up for the rest of the world too. You're working with the Decepticons. You piece of shit. You're just earth salting. Earth salting. Because now the thing is, is is he's gonna do all those same things But he salted the earth so hard for everyone else and there's no woman in any of these now you see so It's just built for

Women's it's built to scramble their brains up so they hate us. Mm-hmm. What else is he saying here? When a man loses interest, he doesn't say it. He just gives less effort, fewer texts, fewer reasons to stay. And when she finally leaves, he calls her the one who gave up. Bro, this is like straight up poison. I'm gonna fold this computer in half. He doesn't say it. He just gives less effort, fewer texts.

No, I'm busy working. Yeah, no busy instead. He's filming videos Who are you fucking texting here, bro? Who are you not? Who are you not texting while you're working? Date to marry oh my praying together skin to skin slow kisses gentle love Over lust. Oh go fuck yourself yourself I'm gonna break everything in this studio this I'm gonna Nancy Kerrigan this guy I'm gonna fucking follow him to this this is a flower is our forest fuck you hmm oh fuck you it's a sanctimony bait most sanctimonious motherfucker. Yeah, I can hear all the black women. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

There's not a single woman that, in his comments, That deserves any of that. And is less than 400 pounds. Wait, we should have checked. Does he got a bunch of fat cells commenting on him? I'm sure. Why is he always making food, too? You know there's something to that. Yeah, why is he always making food too?

You know there's something to that. Yeah, why is he always making food? He's like, don't worry fat bitch. Good question, Iguado. Literally leaving, oh my God, it's just a bunch of chicks. Literally leaving a 10 year relationship because after 10 years he isn't ready to be serious. We have a house, one kid, two dogs, diabolical, right?

Well, sounds pretty serious. What- Hahahaha! It's just all chicks. This is really hurtful when you actually like the other person. I've been there before, and now I'm overprotective of my heart. Shut up, you stupid bitch! This is just a- this is a scam! Yeah.

This is basically AI for women. He's one of the black meta AI guys. Oh, yeah, this is one of the black guys that meta-cooked up. Feel free to ask me about anything. Then be wondering why all these women be so broken and hard fellas. We play the biggest role Who is that? It's another fake. It's another meta black guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's fuck you dude. Shut up Oh, man, that was rough Kenneth that was some bullshit man. You really you really soured the mood over here. Yeah, fuck you

Soured the mood over here. Yeah, fuck you Okay, what if that was actually him and his account and he was just posted he's just sending it out Renegade priest says lady. I was stalked and assaulted but the courts did nothing Maddox. We are the same you and I yeah, no shit Maddox is nuts pad says Woman alert. Oh, I think I might already have done this one. Let me see. Pads.

Yes. Yeah, that was the... Oh, yeah. Track Assaulter. That was, yeah. Search and destroy. You gotta be packing when you're running track, you know? You gotta keep an eye on your six. Boop.

Get a baton right to the skull. Yeah, really. I can't believe she's like, no one would believe me. Yeah, because you're lying. Yeah, of course nobody's going to believe you. You obviously did it on purpose. That's something that someone who nobody believes says. Special Ed says that woman that Maddox is talking to

made a whole documentary on her stalker. Then he lost it and beat her with a water bottle, justified. So she made a documentary about him being a crazy ass and then he showed up and beat her with a water bottle. Well. Well. The law is not built to help you in this case, madam. Yeah.

Sorry. What'd you think was gonna happen? He's obviously fucking crazy. There's a lot of money to be made in like stalker harvesting since Reindeer, Tiny Reindeer, the whatever movie. Reindeer Man, I don't know what it's called. Lawn Reindeer Man. Lawn Reindeer Man. So now people are going out of their way to like cultivate stalkers.

It's big business. Like growing mushrooms, you know, or making sourdough in your home during COVID. Now people have to cultivate. Doesn't take much, just a lot of time. Yeah. They've got to like cultivate lunatics and stalkers to like prove their, prove their own worth. Like, well, how crazy are your fans?

Like, oh man, they're crazy. They're fucking crazy. One of them cut off my thumb and, you know, uses it as their tongue. Shove it up their ass. I'm a, I'm a big deal. Big fucking deal, man. Blart Sampson says, a man with even a minimal amount of self-awareness

would have stopped talking about this 10 minutes after the taunting started. Stay golden, Eric. Stay golden. Johnny Eric has no sense of humor, plus he's a terrible writer, and he's had more bad hiring than the first Trump administration,

so I'd question his ability to even hire a decent comedic writer to write a funny response to Dick's criticism. I mean, yeah, true. Blart Sampson with the hilarious emails by the way, thank you. Veggie says describing what a crazed Riley might do to Eric's employees had me cracking up on the work floor. That's funny stuff. Might happen. A crazed Riley. Yeah.

Crazy guy. He's crazy man. He can do anything. He's capable of anything. Amy says big accident here this weekend so sad I didn't realize unqualified truck drivers was such a big problem. Yeah, there are... Turns out, uh... A bunch of foreigners... Who are drunk and can't read or speak English, driving giant trucks around is not smart. Turns out that that's the case. Funny the odds of that.

Yeah, let's see if I... There was some huge wreck today involving a... Is it Indian or Mexican? That's, see, when it was just Mexicans, we could kind of keep things under wraps. Mm-hmm. When it was just socially, economically challenged groups, demographics, doing crimes. We could keep that under wraps, but now that it's like

Venezuelan gangs scoping out neighborhoods. The scope is too big. The scope is too big. We zoomed too far out. We zoomed too far out and we just can't keep the lie going anymore. We can't keep all this like civil rights and like constitution and All these concepts they've been stretched too far and now they're broken and now it's now it's every anything goes It's fucked. That's the that's obviously where it's going

here is This is the trucker who was identity was driving intoxicated in too fast is this is the trucker who was driving intoxicated and too fast. 17 vehicles were involved, five people are dead, including an infant and a child. Jesus. His name is Solomon Weldekialaraya and he barely speaks English as you can hear.

None of these motherfuckers, none of these motherfuckers coming from India, getting any kind of certification, are passing it genuinely. They're all doing scams. Every single fucking one of them, the people who are helping them in are doing scams and they're all aware of it. Like they like that. Alright, let's see it. Let's see how big this wreck is. The fuck man? What? What happened? Well, I'm coming and somebody left me when I got here so...

But you, the traffic was there bro, like there's no way you should have been, I'm a trucker myself bro. You're not pulling me, you were going too fast. You know there's two people dead over there? And I'll possibly- Is this real? Two more? Possibly four? Four trucks? Seems a little fake, doesn't it? They're dead. They're dead. Dead? Yes, dead.

Oh my goodness. They're fucking dead, bro. Cause of your stupid ass shit. Amazon, that's a real Amazon truck. Yeah, it's- Two of them are fucking dead, bro. Uh, maybe this is, yeah. I don't know about the rest. Amazon that's a real Amazon I don't know about the rest but two for sure two for sure Who are you calling They're gonna lock you up.

They're gonna lock you up. I'm lucky. Yeah, you're lucky. Today's your lucky day. Yeah, they're gonna lock you up. That's manslaughter, bro. They're fucking dead. Panala.

She's that's fucked. That's pisses me off. That's piss. Wow. Oh, it's fucked. That pisses me off. That pisses me off. Wow. Oh, it's real. Oh my god. Here's the driver that caused the death. Put him under the jail.

I mean, it doesn't matter though. We gotta, millions have gotta go. They got to go. Billions must go. Billions must go. Dude. Billions must go. Bring out the chud jack man. We gotta go man. Gotta build one bridge that way. The bridge is to get the fuck out. Those Mario Kart arrows that point one way. We're gonna load them up. Shoot them all off. Alright come on in here how you doing? What? And you're outta here. I I'm gonna read one sense you give me an answer

Yeah, how's it going? What you're at? You're into what does this say yeah, what it says goodbye Everyone has to sit through the fanfare for this the whole thing Yeah, yeah, it's gonna go and the lights gonna count down burp burp, and then I'm gonna go go Why I'm gonna start throwing and then it's gonna go be and the guy's gonna go There's no other way to survive There's no other way to survive. No. There's no there isn't. There's no other way. We've reached critical mass. We've reached critical mass of this shit. Get the fuck out of here with this!

Thanks, Amy. Ellis Magnuson says, listening to this week's show, stop stalking me I joined my local rugby league. Shit's fun as hell. Lucky you. Are you a VIP though? Yeah bro, are you a VIP? That's the only thing they have. Ellis Magnuson, that's exactly what every one of those motherfuckers look like out there. Big guys with thighs and joints that worked, you know? When they're grabbing the ball, when I'd be grabbing the ball, I'd be like,

oh, I don't want to break my little, my fingers. Oh, right? Oh, oh, they're just like, oh, let me get my fingers in there. My fingers can take whatever you got. If my finger's in a knee, I don't give a shit. Those guys are brutal. Oh, maybe I'll get a stick a shit those guys are brutal. Oh Maybe I'll get a stick get that rugby ball out. Oh there it is get a shot for a couple bucks cash. You know I

Poke it out the other side you get it Fuck my voice is fucked Miller woman alert woman alert Woman alert. Woman alert. Woman alert. Where is it? Up, up. Oh, did I click the wrong one? Oh, that's the vagina museum. Okay, we already read that one. They had launched an emergency fundraiser, despite receiving over 300,000 pounds in donations.

Oh, it's the British Vagina Museum. Oh, God. Oh. Somehow, that's grosser. How's it been open this long? That is grosser. Yeah, it's closing now, but it'll be a couple years before they get the smell out. Oh, yeah Finally takes it all the museum is known for its inclusive stance on gender issues. How how is a vagina museum?

Inclusive on gender issues. What the fuck are you talking about? Well, we got a fucking space vagina over here What do you mean inclusive on gender issues? You mean you got guys' vaginas in there? Is that what you mean? Maybe. Hey, here at the Vagina Museum. Oi!

Oi! Oi, mates! Here at the Vagina Museum, we're very inclusive with all genders. Hi, I'm just a stupid American. When you say you're a vagina museum that's inclusive of all genders, you mean guys vaginas? As I said, all genders. Vaginas. Vaginas.

I just like to think that you know you get like a little like book, a little like coloring sheet you have to go through and like okay go find this one and go find a little sticker at the end or like a commemorative pencil or something. Yeah, there's a penis museum in Norway. That sounds about right. I don't think they're hurting for money. I don't think they got any women's penises in it either. Let's see, let me look it up.

The women's penis museum. Penis museum. Well, just say that, yeah, Iceland Fallological Museum. It's a really genuine penis museum. All those other penis museums are fake. Because the market is so hot. Man, I should have a traveling penis museum. You know? Like a pop-up. Ha ha. It'll be shaped like a big pair of pants.

No, it's just you stand on the corner in a trench coat. Ha ha ha ha know the guy that goes to elementary schools with the big blow-up thing and the stars. I'm gonna wait at the elementary school and then attack him and take his tent. Plug my dirty's presentation in. Look at all these constellations. This, how can they look like penises? Oh, this is the penis museum. This is a penis arcturus up there. Yes Buy tickets the modern story of philology You see how this is like classy like a man did it. Mm-hmm It's not begging for money like a whore like the vagina museum

Yeah, like the fucking crummy vagina museum really telling no one wants to hang out at the Vagina Museum gross what are you do crochet and talk about your feelings over there? We got coffee the vagina museum sucks so much. They're like well. We got guys too We got guys vaginas like nah nah nah nah nah not even that that's that's better That's better than what you had previously, but still sucks mm-hmm. I'll go to the penis museum and have a spot of tea. Spot of pee. Look at this. They got waffles, penis waffles. What do they have at the-

They have craft beer too. Of course, obviously they have craft beer and they're not making it like a penis craft beer. It's just craft beer. Right. Penis waffles. It's the waffles that are penis shaped the beers when they're eating them big fat women are coming in eating gobbling up waffles Now I gotta go see this all gendered vagina museum Yeah We got a we got a see you know we have a dude man on the street

Here it is Don't let the vagina museum become a footnote. I already hate it. Looks like shit. This is- Looks like trash, I hate it. Oh, I'm so glad I'm having a son. Fuck.

Man. Fuck. Imagine coming all this way and still making a GeoCities website. Can I get like a plaque in this museum if I save it? Oh. If I jump like a car on a motorcycle? It says this month is make or break to stand to fight.

This place stinks. Yeah. It's, Save the Mijani Museum is one month away from closing forever. We are battered from all sides. They say we're battered from inside. Man, inside and out. Reproductive rights are in crisis.

Oh, fuck off! That's why no one wants to support this. Yeah, it's all just political bullshit. Mm-hmm. It's all crisis over here. Reproductive rights are in crisis. The world is ending at the Vagina Museum. Painless Museum, stop by and have a beer.

You know, you guys have been getting too many abortions. Mm-hmm. Okay? You can have a little bit less. You'll be okay. Women's rights are in crisis. What does that mean? Women's rights are in crisis?

In the video game crisis. Oh. Yeah. You can test your graphics card and your morality along the way too. Is there a video game where you get to fight women's rights? I don't know. I guess Red Dead Redemption 2, there was kind of a, there was a suffragette that you could kill. Mmm.

LGBT plus rights are in crisis. What does that have to do with vaginas? Arts and culture are in crisis. That's the last thing! Get the arts and culture out of my vagina museum. Penis museum. Hey, how about some coffee and some beer and some waffles? Yeah, awesome. Cool. That's cool, actually. Yeah.

The world's only genuine penis museum. The modern story of penis. Look at the clean website design, too. You can actually navigate it. Website's great, dude You're not being assaulted with all these stupid fucking colors looks great Font is great. The kerning is next level mm-hmm The design is good. It's responsive Look at loads quickly it resizes correctly and it's diverse. There's a diverse. There's a black woman on there

And it's diverse. There's a diverse, there's a black woman on there. So I'm not jarred. If I go from Netflix where 90% of the actors are black and I go on the internet and look at this I'm not like stunned and disoriented because there's no black people. What am I watching? Like some kind of racist propaganda? Why is there no black people? We got one in there for you so it's not disorienting. And look there, you see people enjoying themselves here. There's no pictures of anyone enjoying themselves at the vagina museum. Vagina museum.

Just shitty art. Nagging. Nagging. Instantly. Yeah. Everything's in crisis. The world is bad. You are bad.

This has a serious impact on our short and long term sustainability. All that stuff has? Women's rights are in crisis, and arts and culture in crisis, that has? How the fuck does the penis museum make it work? You fucking dumb brats can't. They're not in crisis over there. Fucking dumb, cause you wasted the money, that's why.

They nagged it all away from each other. Open hours, private hire only. Uh, we should do a road rage here. London? Save the vagina museum? Menopause, what's changed? OK. Your biological clock, you old bag. Sam says, hi, Dick and Johnny.

Congrats on your upcoming tax write-off. Oh, yeah, true. Finally, some good news. Yeah, I get two. Nice work, Sam. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo. We are serendipitously expecting our first child at pretty much the same exact time, the July due date.

What pregnancy pillow did your wife purchase? I don't know. The prospect of a good night's sleep is enticing, but there are roughly 300 different pillows on Amazon alone, and I feel like the whole pregnancy industry is just a scheme to confuse women into spending their, and more importantly, my money on bullshit. Correct. Well, man, I don't know what to tell you. You're just gonna have to get the

Amazon best one. Boop. I don't really want to have the same pregnancy pillow as you like no offense. That's weird Yeah, I'd find if it happens by accident. No, that's still weird well if it's just totally random Hmm, then it could be like oh, okay hmm All right, son of a bitch son of a bitch Yeah, got me. It's like of a bitch. You got me. You got me. It's like my battleship. You got me.

But, I don't know, I don't want to be like, at night, laying in bed and thinking about Sam Andrakus. Like, oh, Sam Andrakus has this pillow. Yeah. I hope he likes it. I don't want to accidentally think about, no offense, I'm sure you're great. I appreciate the email. I just don't want to think about it, you know?

Now I'm even risking it right now talking about it Right you're gonna lay down. I wonder what kind of pillow Sam and Drake has got fuck. What if it's better? They're all exactly the same. Yeah, there's just like a tube of filler trash Today my girlfriend learned oh, that's good Okay, and then he do... It's so late. Today my girlfriend learned from Staphalis. Hey Dick, I know my city very well and under the numbers on an address tell you exactly where a house is located on my city's grid.

I think that's normal. I was a delivery driver for a long time before the days of GPS, so I don't expect everyone to know their town's address system the way I do. But my girlfriend recently asked me how I know where everything is based on the address, opposed to having to look it up. And then I explained to her, well, this is the 1300 block, so it's in between these two roads. And the higher the number, the closer it will be to this side or the other.

And if we were to keep going and cross into the next block, it's the 1400 block. And all the addresses begin with 14. And as we keep going, the last two numbers will get higher until we reach the next block, which will be the 1500 block. And then the two numbers start over. Also, whether the address ends in an even or odd number will tell you on which side of the street, which side of the

road the address is on. Her mind was absolutely blown. She told me, I thought address numbers We're just selected at random. That pisses me off. So yeah, today my girlfriend learned that there's a system to the numbers on addresses and they aren't generated totally randomly. Okay guys, go ask your wife or your girlfriend where the numbers come from. Mm-hmm. Do you know? Do you know where the numbers come from?

Tell me everything you know about them. Yeah. Sometimes street names are alphabetical, too, so you can see how close or how far away from something you are. You know, it's... A lot of caveats. I thought they were just random. Of course.

No, no, no, you're right, yeah. Why wouldn't they be? 45. Yeah. Where do you want to live? It's all a trick. 3000. We've always had GPS.

It's like, you know... I live at 40 million Main Street. Oh, that's cool. What if someone wanted to live at the same number? Just. Yeah, if they build on top of you. But that wouldn't surprise me. Nope, not a surprise. Not a surprise.

So I'm keeping my nickel. Okay, everybody. We'll do some voicemails after this. Thank you for listening. Patreon.com slash the Dick voicemails after this. Thank you for listening patron.com slash the dick show Dick touch show. See you next Monday where my voice will be back to normal. I hope Also, I'm just gonna kill myself. I'll join you

Back cyber frog three. Oh god. I hope it makes a million dollars. I'm so invested now. I'm so invested in these fucking comic books. Ready? Presenting... I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. This where is this? Where is the guy? Where is this guy epic Mike? This retarded piece of shit. Where are you epic Mike? Oh, am I streaming to Twitter? Yeah, here we go.

N-word, you make puppets. Sit the fuck down. This is a guy who cries about cartoons online. I mean I cry about cartoons too, but I'm not telling anyone to sit down because they're making puppets. Yeah N-word these guys love saying the N-word man. What's the deal? Embarrassing it's embarrassing It's embarrassing. It is embarrassing. Dr. Cosby would not approve that. Mm-hmm You should carry yourself. You should have more respect for yourself and for the And for the african-american men that have come before you

And they're for these rights be proud fair con would be spinning around in his grave Mm-hmm have some respect for yourself and Where do you make puppets sit the fuck down? Oh? What's that? Oh? This is this is no puppet This is uh, this is no puppet. Hahahaha. This is a goofy ass. This is retarded. That is... that's retarded. It's a little lady doll. Like Bratz doll.

Stuffed animals for men. Gross. I don't know why we have to commemorate so many things with plushies. Plushies? I don't. God damn. The more I look around and see them, the more. I wish I could blow up every plushie factory on earth.

All of these. The ones that are like making Disney stuff, that's fine, but the ones that are making this YouTube shit. Get it out. I'm gonna be like Ted Kaczynski, mail them bombs and stuff. Bail them all the plushies back. I'm gonna be an inside man,

show up there with my eyes fucking taped like this at the factory, at the Chinese factory. Oh, hello, pay up for what? You gotta do your best David Bowie impression and walk in there. What's we making today? I don't think so. Dee dee dee dee dee.

Right, and then I, dee dee dee dee dee dee. Oh yeah. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee! Right? And then I... Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee! Oh yeah. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee! I walk over. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee! And then light everything on fire. I had a friend who worked at a factory and he said anytime he wanted to go home early, he would fuck something up on the conveyor belt

at his part in the line. And he knew that down the line it would start fucking the rest of the machine up. So he's like, yeah, I would do that. And like 10 minutes later, all of a sudden the machine would start fucking up. Should we just call it quits today? Like, ah, fuck you. This machine's broken. I'm going home. Hey Dick and Johnny. What pisses me off is when some guy tries to excoriate me to my manager. Also, thanks for that word. I really liked it. Booked up the definition.

Trampi's is a lot. Perfect application, unlike what fucking Maddox and any of these other July retards do. Yeah. Fucking trying to excoriate me to my fucking manager bitching about I'm doing a bad job with handling this project. And what he failed to realize is that my manager and another manager have been a part of all of his fucking crazy emails that he's been sending to Me about how I'm not doing my job

but what he fails to realize is his scope of work was not done properly and Now my manager has to get on a call with this fucking crazy guy. Take that. Basically tell him, hey dipshit. Flipparoo. You fucking failed to do your job. You failed to do your job. Go fuck yourself. Right? So I'm so fucking happy about that.

Now who's getting their ass fucked? I cannot wait to use it in an angry email and then when somebody responds back I'm gonna just call them Look at this this is this is a scene from the maniac From Johnny Rockets and Corgan's the maniac looks great. Isn't this compelling? Mm-hmm Oh, I didn't see it had a bad word on the stick. That's okay. I can't read so I didn't it was bad I'm still pure of heart and I see that now. I can't put that up, but this is the maniac on Indiegogo also And this is this was made by a man. This is made by a maniac and the word isn't there But it is it belongs here. Mm-hmm

You think Sturgis is like rubbing his dick on this thing you think any of these weird fucks are putting their penis on this doll? It's fucking weird, man. Yeah, I... Look at this goddamn thing. It's all weird. None of it's not weird. None of it's not. We're doing What's Pisses Me Off now.

That's What's Pisses Me Off. What makes me a rage? Out. Out. It's pisses me off isn't it sticky keys guy? Thanks for playing me on the bonus episode. That's that's pretty neat, but anyway Holy shit a rage today Two semis okay two lane road and then two semis next to each other Should I say four lane? I don't fucking know look two lanes the two semis next to each other should say four lane I don't fucking know look two lanes the two cars could go beside each other on all right not Crossing in two different directions fuck this. This is our

Abort yeah, it's done done. That's what's pisses me off I've got a rich for you uh... well i went to an irish for the world uh... first of all ninety nine of the uh... and the myself included or that but that's not my right i think that i thought multiple people

weren't killed and then but that's really i think or what about my fuck am I defending the Irish the only Irish person I care about is Bono we call into the show as we know yeah Yeah, he really should come back in I miss them. Yeah Dick go fuck yourself Johnny. I love you. Oh, well, thank you He was afraid of Maddox fucking with him So he didn't want to call in. I mean that was years ago and who knows what he's doing now.

This be Bono. This be Bono. He should have called in for... He should have called in now. What a pussy. Yeah. Okay. The Dicks show What Makes Me Arrageous.

And you're probably going to laugh at me. I thought I meant the perfect woman. Dirty police., absolute angel. Just on one hangup, and she despises drinking. Not even one beer a night could she handle. I had to tell her, baby, I'm already cheating. I'm married, didn't married to the liquor like I don't know what to tell you Should that's why it's an age of it man. You could stop forever But you're always a recovering alcoholic. You're never like, oh man

bro Why did you have a fucking drinking problem? big drinking problem. Andrew, you gotta stop. You gotta stop. I never thought I would see a time in my life where I told someone to stop doing something fun. Stop fucking drinking.

Buddy, you are, you need help. Perhaps another beer and some help. Maybe have one more beer and give it a think. Man. I'm married to the game, you know? That's... That's a... That's for someone who's been, you know, like, working a lot. When you say you're married to the alcohol, that's like...

You've been drinking a lot. I guess. Man. Yeah's like, you've been drinking a lot. I guess. Man. Yeah, well, you know. Man. So what you're saying is, hang on, hang on. I take Umbridge with this. He says, I found the perfect woman, except, so you didn't find the perfect woman.

Yeah, okay. Imagine what else she would have had a problem with. Heroin. Yeah, not one beer. Carve, you know, self-cutting? Well, if that's what you're gonna call in with, like, yeah, I'd probably have a problem if you had a beer too, man. Yeah. You sound not cool.

She's just shit-testing you. Oh, there you go. Just say that you quit drinking and hide it. There you go. It's not a- she's just messing with you. All women are always like- If you- if you can't lie about drinking, you have a problem. Yes. Yeah.

I love you, but I don't want you to drink anymore. Done. Cool. That's great. Alright, yeah. Are you drunk? Yes. I lied. Yeah. Because I respect your position.

Because I do think alcohol is bad, and I do have a problem. But I did it anyway. That's the correct... that's correct. Stop drinking, you have a problem. No. Not correct. The correct answer is... That means yes, you have a problem. If you can't hide your problem, you have a fucking problem. Nobody else needs to deal with it but you.

That guy is a regular foam shitter. I can just tell. He gets that taste every day. You gotta quit your drinking if we're gonna be together. I couldn't agree more. Thank you for bringing out this good side of me. Have you been drinking? Yep. You know what? I did it again. I hate it. I hate it more than you. You're actually right.

You gotta new some her ass. It's as simple as that, man. Simple as that. You fuckers. All this time! All this time! Still haven't reached these kids. Still telling the truth. Yeah. You have to lie back to these women. Because they're only ever lying to you. Why don't you start drinking? I haven't reached these kids. Still telling the truth. Yeah, you have to lie back to these women

because they're only ever lying to you. Why don't you start drinking then? All right, I'll stop. You start. Yeah. Gotta be balanced in the universe. If I stop drinking, someone else is going to, so it better be you.

Better be you. Mm-hmm. Okay. Man, be a little less honest, my guy. She doesn't love me for me. Oh really yeah, she wants me to stop drinking Okay, yeah I don't love you for you either Yeah, you got problems you'd be a lot better if you stop drinking yeah, tell me about it you're right

See now. It's like I okay. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Once you stop, okay. Sure. Anything else though is like... Me too. All you gotta do is agree. Every two weeks? I've gotta stop. Guys, what's not happening?

That. When you know you gotta stop, that's fine. He doesn't know that he has to stop. She just got you on a bad day. If she got you on the right day, you would have said, absolutely, I absolutely have, I don't wanna drink even one beer ever. Yeah. Problem is, she caught him on a good day.

Problem is, she caught you on a good day. That's her fault. Mm-hmm. That is her fault. Relationships are two, they take two people. Mm-hmm. You know, she's doing her part, and you didn't do your part, which is lying. Mm-hmm. That is her fault. Relationships are two, they take two people. Mm-hmm. You know, she's doing her part, and you didn't do your part, which is lying.

Mm-hmm. So, you're not the perfect one, honestly. She was perfect, you are the fucka. Mm-hmm. And not because of the drinking, because of the truth telling. Yes! That's, yeah, you drank too much of that truth syrup.

You drank too much truth syrup, buddy boy. You gotta, you gotta drink brown and get real mean. Real mean. Take some responsibility for your drinking and lie about it. It's not something that everyone has to tolerate. It's you. They're not benefiting from it. So, don't make them aware of it.

Yeah. It's like the classic, you know, it's just like being a man. You don't tell anyone anything. You just bottle it up inside. Yeah. With a bottle. Well, yeah, you have to unbottle something and re-bottle it in yourself.

The more I think about Eric's really terrible use of metaphor, I just, I can't get out of my head. It's it's so similar to Maddox It's crazy. Oh use metaphor and idiom and just is very weird poor grasp of the artistic and beautiful side of the English language it just does not cease to amuse me and just like So he's going to stop.

You have to find a new ball, which means he has been your ball up until now. I guess so. And he's relinquishing his victory over you. The dominant. Had like he's backing out of bowling. That's a good point. Good point. Is he mixing up the bowl and the cow? Yes.

That part of it? Yeah. I am just so curious. By the way, this is the this is the relationship counselor guy who called and left a voicemail about doing a session for you and Vito. That would be funny. Let me know. I do. I do want that. All the more curious now. be funny that let me do I do want that

I'm more curious now, so have a great day. I do want that I've been bringing in this guy's voicemails a couple times what I never get to them on the biggest problem Oh awesome, he's a relationship counselor. That would be funny to have him come in That would be really funny to do a bonus episode and more a regular episode. I don't know Eric aka the mangler of English man that guy's my angler the man The masked mangler man. Yeah Damn it. I can't make those jokes um So he's not I have to find a different bowl cuz Maddox was my bowl mm-hmm for 10 years

Every time I read anything from them I feel like I'm having a stroke. What the fuck am I... Oh god you guys are so fucking dumb. Okay. Sadly not that impressive. If you ever see a woman about to do something that can't be taken back She's gonna throw something away or throw something in a shredder. You have to get hands-on Immediately you cannot do it. Yeah

No amount of yelling Five seconds yelling at a woman from four feet away, and she just Robotically carries out the motion like oh, yeah He's this crescendo of protest might be important after I do this I'm gonna check it out. I'll pay attention after I do this. Just know no nothing verbal hands-on Immediately or you're fucked mm-hmm Well, what did she do? What did she shred? Yeah, that's already leave it but yeah, yes actually tell us what you what happened Okay one more

Hey, what's going on guys Jax Peter here Yeah, here's my issue with that whole Eric July singing chop suey thing. It is one of the worst covers I've heard of any instrument. Just in the history of music, that might be one of the worst covers I've ever listened to. We got to start with him going from Darren's part to Serge's part back and forth. So he'll sing the main part and then he'll just randomly on certain parts of the song go to the

backup vocalist and you'll just see like he's just singing it completely wrong because one's like a fucking harmony and the other one's the fucking main the main event okay and he just keeps switching between the two and it's so fucking distracting it just drives me fucking nuts and then did you realize when he got to the part where they were screaming father, that that's the most emotion he showed through the entire song. There's some pretty good screams in there. Yet, none of them match the emotion

that Eric Jilai has when he dreams father. It makes you wonder what kind of trauma lives in Eric Jilai's head on being father. Today, that's just my thoughts. I have to wonder that hard. I'll be a good guy, see that. All right. Thanks guys. Thank you. How much trauma does exist? You should make it. That's what I saw him should find this dad. I saw him for us. He's on the internet the whole time. I saw him tracks his dad down

on this very special episode of cheaters. All right. Goodbye everybody.