The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 1 - The Past Times w/ Karen Kilgariff

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

NEW PODCAST - THE PAST TIMES The first American newspaper, Public Occurrences Both Foreign and Domestic, was published in 1690. Since then, millions of daily papers have been published.  This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to Gareth Reynolds and Karen Kilgariff. New episodes of The Past Times will be right here every Thursday.

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newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Karen Kilgariff. Hi Karen Kilgariff. Hi guys. Welcome. How are you? Okay are you Gareth gonna talk in that voice the whole time? Is this like a new podcasting? Yeah we want to be very professional. We'll we want you to make this whatever you want it to be and we're just here to support it. Thank you for coming in Karen what have you been up to? That's better too. Clubs and colleges all over the country. Oh you're gonna love her she tours all over the country she's a

favorite here. Just unbelievable. Karen we're gonna we're gonna go to your the area you're from for this newspaper it is from March 18th 1880. Can I guess? It is in Sonoma County. The Preston Crat. No I don't even think that existed. It is the Cloverdale Reveley. Okay. Cloverdale is where we used to stop at the Foster's Freeze on our way to Blue Lake which was up in Lake County for one week of vacation every summer where I would go in Lake County, California and I would get so sunburned like first day third degree sunburn and then it's just the problem you manage for the rest of the trip. Yeah that's right. As an

Englishman very familiar with how the first day of what we call holiday goes. That's right it's it's time to bubble up. How about some blisters for your back? It's the blister. Looks like a gremlin that someone watered after midnight like little maize are about to start poofing off. Yeah I know Cloverdale well. Cloverdale is for people who don't it's about I what a couple hours north of San Francisco this this paper I picked is right they got the train two years before so it's it's big times things are happening in in Cloverdale rain yeah it's very exciting three trains three trains are coming each day at this point

in 1880 that's how fucking awesome yeah so we're gonna page go ahead what was their main export do you know like dairy I yeah I think it's oh we're actually I think we might get there I think okay I think I've read something earlier I think okay yeah no it's an animal product it's an animal thing I think lard yes it's falling out of the train doors again we're pushing him with the broom I don't know what to tell you we gotta move the log so this is page one right in the middle this is under a community that this so the way these newspapers act they would group things into like they'd be like local stuff or

happenings and this one's just called communications okay on Saturday as FW young the well-known insurance agent of this city we all know FW obviously in company with Captain DeMone of San Francisco was driving near Skag Springs when they came across a band of six deer all feels invented every name every place feels totally made up it came across a band of six deer five of which ran up the adjoining hill and disappeared into the this is chemists but I don't I looked it up it's not a word there's no word chemists into the into the chemists name the pharmacy yeah they had a deer farm is this we got anything

for ticks can I this one antler broke off and it hurts just have like an analgesic for absolutely yeah just sit over there oh yeah right now this is in the newspaper that basically they're saying deer ran by that's right I mean I guess that's a more concise way there's more there's more to the story five year took off you're not gonna believe what happened five you got spooked they fucking bailed right in the hills I don't know he's got him then they went to the chemists while the others while the other so there's one kept along the road in front of the buggy a short distance

and undertook a jump of a picket fence got caught and Mr. Young leaping from the buggy captured it I like how the deer jumps a fence and leap is never used but when it's a human they're like you wouldn't believe what he did so high did this man jump look at him bound they call him dear boy they they took it to scags and it proved to be a dough about a year old it died suit after it was caught and it is said it was talked to death on insurance Frank ought to have given it an accident policy what I don't know is this a joke newspaper it's called like the radish one thing one thing we'll learn is how nothing was news like

literally but nothing stuff that you're just like you'd be like hey man Jim saw a deer get caught on a Jim with a J but at the end it doesn't seem to make a ton of sense what do they say like someone just was that he put in he put in a little funny okay so it's Lee's lightning the mood cuz it does past he's like in the mood because a grown man tackled a deer a baby deer to the point where it died that's seeing it a dough at Jesus Christ that's where I forget all the words the only part anyone knows that's the funeral a dough a deer a female deer amen so this this is under this is it's still we're on page

two it's under word errors what's so the paper was just segmented like really quick and I don't mean to hang us up on this yeah but that whole deer being tackled to death story was under communications so is that like town gossip or was that like the one conversation they had on the one phone in the town it's I feel like it's just something that someone came in and told them that the newspaper these if you're gonna segment a paper they should make sense it communications for that I the dough died on the fence or the guy tackled it yeah well obviously it's communication story I would I would say

I would say having perused this paper a lot of it feels like like when you know when you you run into someone like at a store and they start talking to you and they won't stop talking a lot of it feels like that's this person like this person is just like I I got it I got to let people know what's going on in my head I have no one to talk a dream paper in paper form whether they're real stories or my own personal communications doesn't matter there's no order at the radish I started my own little paper after I finished waitressing so everything I over here I just turn into the news it's all a bit of everything

everything can be categorized as everything which is what I love about it uh the reverie the reverie radish okay so like I said this is under this this section is a little odd it's really this section's a little odd yes citizens should not be used except when the possession of political rights is meant to be implied newspaper reporters have a habit of bringing it out on all occasions when person man or bystander would express their meaning much better I mean what what's the is this under complaints it's under it's under word errors they're not communication as well everything's a bit of communication

in this case he's sub-tweeting other papers yeah also will you go through the list of the three people it's person man or bystander that's right that's right bystander yeah the person man bystander now there's no women that are talked about I obvious but it's like amazing to have to categorize it and women like other beings besides a man to not be a category to be like it's simple three categories it's either a person a man or a bystander 80s were like guys 1880s to 1980s it's always been this way oh I just hope I meet a nice bystander did you see that citizen over there oh wait citizens the wrong word person by

standard or man is correct person that's three really good categories they're the same it's all the same man yeah so we're still on page to this is titled children in the park my here's my guess more dead deer child child jumps offense gets caught man attacks gives it an insurance song and dance at the end move on communication when I got soul and body wary I like to stroll into the parks sit quietly down and watch the children with their nurses I think that I can pick out every child there who has a sensible mother she neither exposes its little bare legs to the treacherous winds nor puts out her baby's eyes with

a dazzling white veil or dresses her child so fine that it cannot sit down on the seats if her child is humpbacked or lame oh no oh dear she does not render the poor little creatures misfortune more conspicuous by a gaudy costume so she doesn't a good mother doesn't hide the hump with godiness because that's a really common thing is if there's a hump situation with your child a lot of women will gaudy it up that go to gaudy town but this is play up most of the time aren't humps developed over years of say a spinal issue some kids are born with it but it sounds like this town has a real problem yeah this town

only has problems first of all the POV of this person is so creepy like in any in any other day like if that if that was handed to like an editor of a newspaper now they'd be like oh great stay there I'm gonna make two calls I'm gonna be right back and get to you know what I mean you be like this guy's clearly going to the park for the wrong reasons yes talking about there's baby's legs baby legs and then the the hump how the hump hump there's a hump alright it goes on if her boy has grown big enough to be ashamed of long girlish ringlets about his shoulders she does not assist upon sacrificing his

insipid manliness to her absurd vanity with these views you may be sure that my list of children who are blessed with sensible mothers is rather limited than otherwise yes that was a list yes humpback andy runy senior put putting jackets on that show people where your child's hump is when I was a boy we just put a balloon head on the hump and said we had a brother growing out of our backs we need to get back to that time I don't want to be I don't want to be mean to anybody with a hump at all but this doesn't seem to be a column or the issue well you don't know what was going on in in cloverdale in

the 1880s they might have all had rickets we are gonna come but I completely agree this even with hearing the other context of the paper this does not belong in the paper this is not a bathroom stall like you'd be like what is going on all right whatever I don't ever need to see that again this is private yes yes I think we actually kind of did okay all right well let's let's let's go we're here on page three we got some ads we got to say who wrote that or like what yeah it's never said it's never said is there a date of arrest a mug drawing yeah our picture of him eating a hump or something that

lends itself to some understanding of what just happened you know what I mean there's just one picture with him and it's just his arm around the hump and you can't see anything else of the child hey okay this had this is just an ad and it just says cure for cancer red clover cures cancer salt rim and all other blood diseases for reference in full particulars address WC Needham San Jose, California they had it bad they had it back then and we just forgot about it we forgot about it and they get it was they got their clover pills took care of it clover and assaulted rim I understand yeah clover and like a

Margie glass yeah who wants more cancer cure girl taco Tuesday who doesn't want cancer cancer-free brunch bit Sunday funding who wants a salted rim of no cancer who had no salt good luck with that okay okay this is the best ad by the way page three for a cancer cure seems a bit like burying it I don't know I don't know if that should come after the hump story it feels like that could proceed it but okay you drop you drop that up top okay this is the deaf here through the teeth the the deaf the deaf here through the teeth wow wow this is this is hard to read because it's just the way it's spaced so sorry is this an

ad or a column it's an ad this is an ad it feels like everything is an ad yeah so the deaf here through the teeth perfectly all ordinary conversation lectures concerts etc by new channels to the nerves of hearing by a wonderful new invention the dentophone no days serious stop it yeah for remarkable public handwritten for remarkable public tests on the deaf also on the deaf and dumb see in New York Harold September 28th it displaces all ear trumpets size of an ordinary watch sent for free pamphlet the American dentophone so this is obviously they're telling you they're

selling you something but they're also saying go check this other newspaper for the proof that this is a good thing that's right you should get this newspaper isn't full of articles and things you won't be able to actually process what this is no go do the homework of this ad which is you figure out if this is good or not if you go to the other paper you are technically the CEO of this company a dentophone the thing you hook up to your teeth so you can hear they're gonna put ear horns out of business the ear horn was so popular that that was the big thing to mention that it's like forget about those ear horns laying all

over the house it's dead yeah that that weird paper was dropped at the CEO of like those trumpet phones and he's like have you seen this they're gonna start putting them on teeth and he's like my god we're gonna be ruined oh no this whole time they've been hearing through their goddamn teeth shit what a blatant bizarre lie that's only provable to a very small group of people yeah yeah yeah it's the best it's this is the best this isn't there's I don't think we're ever gonna find anything better in old papers than that than the dentophone is there a picture of what the dentophone no there's no picture it's all because what

would you do you'd be like the second that someone's like what does it look like you'd be like whatever you're picturing it's pretty much that can I say what I would do yes I would illustrate a gorgeous woman of the day looking into a mirror on her you know her night you call it her boudoir and then she would have this big like she basically have grills in great but with a kind of a long cord coming out to a box in the corner dentophone style I love that she's plugged in my only note is she's not a man person or bystander it might be a little confusing to people you know what I mean yeah I just don't I

can't picture the person with it on do you know what I mean what is it sorry it's not a person at all it's a non-man woman or a big hump I'm assuming huge hump no no no no interesting very curious very curious it's very strange it's hard to picture who knew okay good so far really yeah that's number one in terms of what I would buy if I was yeah oh yeah yeah even if I what even if I wasn't death I'd death I'd be like how can I hear through my teeth like I would just be interested it would feel good I feel fun I'd rather be listening through my teeth if that's possible doctor that's the motto that's the company motto I'd

rather be listening through my teeth will you open your fucking mouth and listen to me I can't anymore I'm leaving show me your teeth so you get it through your head I'm leaving and she drags this huge dental phone box behind her now will you help me grab this thing that they never showed us what it looked like slam the door for me please back is killing me from my hearing teeth phone this side is just title this ad it's an ad just title prejudice the prejudice of many in favor of the old methods of treatment is vanishing before the accumulated evidence in favor of a Warner's safe kidney and liver cure

lined up for the pitch what and what was happening for three-fourths of that I thought they were just selling prejudice to people which is just like sir I'll take some I'll give me all you got sir you there you racist you need more prejudice I sure do I've started respecting women no no no no no no no no no no no sir take these pills oh thank god oh they're vanishing perfect it's just a bunch of men people and bystanders again wait so is there more to that one that was it that was the whole ad will you read it again it was not long I just don't understand what an issue with this podcast because it is very difficult to

visualize the past when it was so full of weird bullshit like it's crazy just it is hard it's like someone explaining like what they found in the wardrobe in the lion the witch in the world you're like wait what was it what a Christian lion I don't why and that's Jesus why make it a hippie it's more relatable okay the prejudice of many in favor of the old methods of treatment is vanishing before the accumulated evidence in favor of Warner's safe kidney and liver cure it makes no sense here's the translation okay people are stopping deciding new cures for your liver can't work because of all the proof that this liver cure

does work okay people are getting modern got their liver cure attitudes yeah people it right like stop eating beetles or whatever you do them before I got something better I mean if I keep eating them I don't get worse kidneys right well so we don't know that we're not we're just not sure well I'm gonna keep eating them until you come back with some definitive information that's prejudice sir no it's all I eat I traded my son for a bag full of them sorry it's okay I thought you just you know I'm here I'm always yeah I thought you were gone I thought I was talking to myself again Roach would you like okay so this

no no thank you try one no I'd rather you got a pillow case full of them okay oh I get you teach their own mmm I'm modern you sure are this is just these are just like a little fit there's no it's not in a section it just has a bunch of different things that nothing is like John Sisson good is getting several fine buggies made for the livery business and then there's this one which I noticed because we did a we did a dollop on this guy Dennis Kearney the sandlot agitator was arrested last week and sentenced to a fine of a thousand dollars and six months in prison it serves him right oh wait as someone who

clearly learned that story what was he doing he's that's the guy dollars back then it's like yeah oh yeah well he was he was basically riling people up to it attack Chinese laborers like he was the Irish guy just goes like kill all the people that aren't from here well then can we just say very nice to hear a response like that from some I didn't know people like that really exists someone is like this is outrageous you like yeah no sir it's actually what you're right I'm sorry I thought I'm you people shouting about crazy shit modern it's modern attitudes about liver cures it solves everything that's right that's right yeah so

let me get into some oddly personal things in this section miss Emory and miss minor two of Cloverdale's good-looking school marms honored the paper office with a call on Wednesday last week what I'm just I got another piece of news couple of hotties stop by they call the marms yeah some hot young school marms came to the newspaper office yeah so that you want to know is that literally what this is a person's diary is it this reminds me of Jeff Jeffrey Jones in Deadwood where he would just walk around and try to get people to talk to him and tell him oh yeah right yeah it really is just one guy and a printing press and

like his his discretion it's good to picture that person too because then you're like oh yeah okay it is totally insane what you mean it's just like it's like I mean it's like your whole paper is a gossip column essentially but everything's crazy yeah yeah and old yeah and then this is a kind of influenza is prevailing in and around Cloverdale it is the worst thing in the shape of a cold we have ever encountered so he's so he's sick red clover I got a cold that's an interesting read the article about Kevin's cold that is crazy and then the deer yeah look did you see you see that look at this we're

lucky we got away this is amazing fresh mutton shipped direct from the city is for sale in this market how does this happen in the very gateway of the great sheep country what is going on this is all one page he he went to the store and he saw they were selling mutton from San Francisco and he's like what is happening we are the sheep people imported mutton is bullshit though it's the best version of mutton is a game as fuck you have it come up river for four days probably back then oh think about it old mutton sitting out in the sun and then that's like no it's it accidentally cooked on its way here we

accidentally cooked all the mutton it was slow roasted it we didn't even mean to we invented slow roasting put that in the paper I would but I'm out of room a guy lost a shoe just where where will it fit where will it fit in here you know what I mean I gotta kill a baby his priorities that's what the paper is it's a good story look you brought mutton up you invented a way to cook it it's not this guy hurt his finger you know what I mean look what am I gonna do take it off page one about Frank looking at me weird can't get rid of that if it bleeds it bleeds we all know this it's the business get your mutton out of here

hey you're not radish material friend right not this is one page it's a column it's a column of just blurbs and here's it so this is the end this is the end of the column can I just ask what shape or symbol is in between each blurb like there's there's like a there's like a it's not it's close it's like it's like little a little design like a little swoop in between each one right put like really nice brackets but yeah yeah yeah they're like nice brackety swoops should be an asterix everyone should have an asterix and at the end it should just be like not real

quick footnote this is a cry for help please don't read it the last one is just Frank no now the dogs licking my hand why is that the paper what happened who is this person don't just write every single thing you think you don't write every single thing you think no no no don't write that no no don't write that all right ready to print it print it all word for word and then Frank got on the other dogs bed I hope I'm not to report on this next week okay this is the last thing in this column we hope our readers will overlook the scarcity of news in this issue sickness in our family and with ourselves also has

had a decided tendency to check our inhibition our ambition as a journalist this week so what he's saying he's he gets to the end of this column he's like I'm just sick and it's not going well I don't have a lot to write well it's not our it's not our problem money for this newspaper don't write have someone else right at this get there's got to be an apprentice or someone that can string better thoughts together than these sorry sorry about the no news I've got a cold also I've taken to talking about myself in the third person which I'm really enjoying right now see you next week the non-male bystander who lives

with me loves it that's my new policy so this is on the same page and it's there goes my dog it's under a section it's it's just another more random stuff it starts with a grand book and it goes into a boring thing about books but then it goes to this after a little separation S. Lang the opposition barber so opposition is in parentheses so he's the opposition barber has evidently had a series of trouble during his sojourn in this place several times his sign pole has been carried away and hid his door tied shut and other pranks played upon our night of the razor what Lang is

somewhat eccentric in his habits and the boys taking advantage of his sensitive nature are more inclined to bother the man than the strictest rules of courtesy would justify our advice to the boys is to let the man atone and give him a chance to make a living so what I'm hearing here is that the boys in town don't like the nerd barber and then the newspaper editor has taken it upon himself to say leave the barber alone what kind of weakling is this barber I mean first of all do you want a nervous barber isn't that especially back then with all the razors involved mostly razors yeah no you do not want you do

not want that and then okay sure this we did Karen and you might think that this is random we do this every episode do you it's a planned moment it's a break we just take a break where Dave the guard the dogs attack the gardener and then Dave gets a quick 30 seconds and as you can see he's already back I had to close the I had to close the back door and then Larry ran and threw up on the couch so it's all good that's a good reaction I've had people whenever I have a door slammed in my face I just throw up on someone's chair like you don't do that to me it's the ultimate revenge you don't tell me what I can and can't do

here's my lunch here's my bulimia here we go enjoy now I also think this guy's romanticizing the barber a leg and I'm pretty thick he calls him night of the razor yeah night of the razor I think he just didn't want to say barber again he he he sees himself as a wordsmith and he can really bring to life who these people are now when I hear these stories back to back I think this person has a great vocabulary that's the formula jumps out mm-hmm yeah not the dementia of flu no vitamin D in his system the fact that this person is already apologized for the rambling of a sick man so this is the next the next one down one day

last week the oldest son of HB Christensen aged about nine years climbed onto the top of a tree in the schoolhouse yard and losing his hold fell to the ground a distance about 15 feet striking squarely on his head he was conveyed home and medical attendance procured the top of his skull was found to be completely flattened without any symptoms of a concussion and add this writing the patient is rapidly convalescing we just called him table we made the home adjustment and just called him table but I put my soup off him he fell 15 feet from a tree and the nail straight flattened his head on the

ground and he's so he has a flat head but they're like he's he's fine he's getting better really quick he's better than ever I'm sure there were no yeah I'm sure there were no future issues with that kid he was fine even if there were someone was probably just like you got to put a mint leaf under your tongue you'll be fine okay that's good do that for two years do that for two years do that for two years and you'll be your head of be normal again okay also this I would say of all the stories we've heard so far this would be front page news of a local boy as a massive head injury yes maybe warn the others to not go up

there or something like if we were gonna prioritize well there's like more to like there's a story there's like a beginning a middle and an ending to this there's a moral there's just stuff it's not just someone being like did you guys see that cat where's the article it's just just handwritten there's a follow-up neck net is a follow-up next week Jeff did indeed see the cat who stories captured the hearts and minds of a town okay so he he likes to go into on page we're on page six now because we just had ads and stuff so this is he goes into like world stuff and and he'll go into a little bit of history he

enjoys history so this one is called a peculiar race paper yeah for the newspaper he goes into history okay sorry this is called a peculiar race a letter from one of professor a Nord scolds assistants recently published in various Scandinavian papers gives an interesting account of the shooty a particular race inhabiting the northeastern portion of Siberia they look very much like Greenlanders because everyone everyone in Sonoma County once they hear they look like Greenlanders are like okay I got it that's it that's the frame of reference I needed to green green-span green hair got it I know exactly what you're doing

basic they just picture Chia people oh yeah we got Greenland yeah we know the type yeah yeah Greenland okay yeah you can eat them they're fine they grow back I know yeah they look very much like Greenlanders are small but alert so right now I picture them yeah it's also a day to go it's a dig at the slow reflexes of the Greenland people you know they're like Greenlanders except they react you know what I mean they have motor skills the picture Greenlanders with motor skills amazing the dream imagine are small but alert have brownish yellow skin with coal black eyes and hair and a singular joyless almost frozen

expression on the face they work for a man named Wonka and chocolate heat doth make I love joyless like the shiver that goes up your spine when you hear race in a paper from that time you're like please like in my head I'm like please be a foot race play it it's like we've had a new breed of human you like oh my god they're not fun and they got little black eyes but they move quick and their faces are frozen wait sorry are they actually talking about like Slavic people or like what these are these are people who live like way up near like at the tip of like Russia and and and Norway like they're like in

in Lapland in like Sweden it's like who they're prejudiced against like the seamy are people so they live up where it's dark most of the year and it's just this sort of place that nobody wants to go so they're like we found new ones here they're living so they're essentially a native probably they're a native people to that area okay yeah they're being announced in the paper for whatever crazy news new people I don't think that's the case no actually that is true I don't think that's possible no no we were flung from heaven off of God's finger okay so they live in tents dressing skins and feed on seal flesh

their women are tattooed on the face all right yes in their intercourse with the crew of the Vega they were a little shy but curious like penguins and willing to help no I'm sorry yeah I need that last part broken down like game what did you just do what did you say they're little penguin people that are interested in us and also very helpful it's like if there is part of this that's going back and just looking at how how racism just is fomented and like supported in a small town kind of like yeah here's I on the world yeah right right right the new non-white they're like penguins oh I get these people now

that's also so great I mean it's it really it's the flippancy like the way that they just so simply just be like he is a super racist thought that I don't think twice about sir please stop talking not only were they like penguins they liked raw fish their moral ideas were rather naïve but firmly adhered to as far as they went so not great morals but also like whoever was go whoever probably went and quote-unquote discovered them was probably you probably were you're probably not seeing the best version of a group of people like hey get out of our home yeah hi I work for the radish it's the ship captain

that just like wait you don't like Jesus yeah you haven't heard about him up here oh well that's interesting well how nice well of their language a dictionary has been made compromising 300 words and it will no doubt prove of interest to the linguists the old 300 word dictionary yep sure that's all they had to that's all they need to conquer them that's all you want to say around a white yeah you're like limit our language they will take it and abuse it somehow you guys are very so you guys do a lot of blink talking mm-hmm not talk a lot yeah it's interesting it's private that's weird well that's not much to take

advantage of so I should probably get moving just a bunch of snow and quiet people whose faces don't move I'll come back with some of this melt but right now it doesn't feel like an exploit much such pride hold on they got they got little coal eyes can we take the eyes I rather not right now let's let's stop talking about them okay so now he's back to history he's diving into some Russian history okay the riot of the Streltsy so Streltsy are like from the 1600s and it's like an army it's like an army that worked for the czar like they're like these badass sort of the Streltsy ran through all the in rooms of the palace

looked into the storerooms under the beds into the chapels thrust their spears under the altars and left no place without a visit from a distance they saw theater salt cough going into one of the chapels and someone cried out there goes Ivan and their skin and the unlucky man was so frightened he could not pronounce a single word or even tell his name once he was at once killed and his body thrown below when it was ascertained who he was and that he was not on their skin the Stelsy sent the body to old salt scoff so the Stelsy thought that he was one of the guys they were looking for and they killed him and then

someone was like yeah that that's actually not him and so now they brought the body back to his dad and then hey listen I'm sorry about the killing your son we thought it was another guy someone yelled that's the guy and then we killed them and it turns out so that's on us you gotta understand you got you gotta you gotta I why is that's history why is that there's so many other things that could be discussed that is such a does that even it's really specific it's really like he knows him or otherwise it makes no sense this is very this is very much dude read a book this week and he's like I got to fill up this paper I mean

I got like nine like a laying open on that one page now I'm not mocking at anyone because I think we made a podcast out of that that's what so so they bring the body to old salt scoff and excuse themselves by saying that his son had been yeah by saying that his son had been killed by mistake so deluxe sorry God's will be done so the gods will be done said the old man who had even the presence of mine to give the messenger something to eat and drink oh you guys want a beard some cheese it was a good kid you hungry no what come in for a little while hang out the kill my son make you really famished sons dead

guys like bread so anyway because it's still there isn't okay go ahead after they had left the house in trying to console his weeping daughter-in-law who quoted a Russian he quoted a Russian proverb to the effect that quote their turn will come next a servant overheard this and who had a grudge against the master immediately rushed out and told the Streltsy that his master had threatened them and they returned and murdered him on the spot they don't they're not allowed to do that you can't do that the same day don't talk shit yeah talk shit get hit with a sword in your neck that's right you know the

saying that's the saying I remember it rhyming doesn't it I feel like no okay sometimes hard to remember it sticks in your mind yeah it's right because it's very disjointed and that's what really stays I'll never forget it it's so weird you know how that goes so it leaves you with a feeling yeah I can't requote it but boy I could tell you how it makes me feel they killed the son they said super sorry the dead said don't worry about it then there was a misunderstanding and then they came back and killed the dad because these are the daughter-in-law he's like hey look there's they fucked up they'll get there

what are you guys around look you'll have to would you say did you say to us say something huh yeah big hat big fur hat why why you stabbing yourself why you stabbing yourself why you stabbing yourself I'm not you son of a bitch you did it okay is that the end or is that the end okay because it feels like okay that that go ahead this newspaper the radish your air-quoting makes me it it's like an argument for going to church if like back then there were only like three things to do it's it's so like you get up in the morning you read all this garbage and then you're just like this can't be everything like that is so

fucking true yeah I mean that really need more yes because we have access to so much different so many different avenues of thought and interest now that if this was your source of information you were you must have just been like I believe there's a place where all my relatives live who have passed away and I get to go there once I die which hopefully is soon please kill me someone please someone just killed kill me and my father so we can go up there or something if this is what communications are gonna be like all the time down here I gotta get out I read three weeks of the radish and I really would anything else

heaven hell whatever it is roll the dice Bible shit I don't care all stuff plagues whatever you got I'll be able something anything hurry my liver I need a cure did you say live a cure why I got one for you sunny boy you just gotta eat a handful of sand and kiss this lady so we got a new section here good it is called the news no intelligence items is what it's called intelligence items but it's still all about mutton it's all mutton yeah it's just a recipe it's more mutton stuff this is sort of what's going on around the country several gentlemen especially young lawyers of Boston who live in suburban towns ride to business

in fair weather on bicycles what the fuck now you this can't be real that's the item that's the item I was not aware this was a fiction paper Gladys did you hear what's going on in Boston there are this wheels business men centaurs with wheels in fair weather you say the weather part of it in fair weather now while that really does has no impact it's important to point out that the weather was neutral mmm maybe a light jacket you don't need anything heavy not definitely not a scar this is how weather reporting started I just ran with what I was feeling first I saw the bike and then I was like I want to talk about the wind and I just everything

about it the setting you're good but it's too interesting do you understand it's too interesting people are getting hooked the next one a Memphis dairy man set a loaded gun inside his poultry house in hope of punishing some chicken thieves and his wife ignorant of the fact was killed by it you gotta you gotta tell the lady who's going out to get the eggs that you put a gun situation in the chicken coop yes I think when you go to a chicken coop firing a gun communication is important with your family for sure no he's basically he be trapped the chicken he booby trapped the chicken coop and then his wife went

in and and he didn't tell her he booby-trapped it he booby-trapped it is murder this is date line 1887 this is introducing Josh Mankiewicz like this is date line that is totally 1840s date line fake fake oh you're just gonna shoot anyone that went into the chicken coop and it's you and your wife here and she's the one that collects the eggs every morning okay that's right I need five minutes when I hear a pitch back it's not great take all the time you need to be back tomorrow okay I'll be at the lake thinking okay we have more chicken we have more chicken news this is from Hartford Connecticut a Hartford man's

excuse for stealing a pair of chickens was that while at work he hung his coat near the coop and on going for it he found the chickens roosted on the same no he hadn't the heart to wake them up he said so what a saint so I got jacket chickens I got sleeping jacket chickens again I'll return them when they rouse not now officer the contraband is sleeping contraband that's right that's what you call your chickens and watches I'm sleeping now okay so this lies amazing it's amazing newspapers amazing too yes he really he had the heart to wake them up he said so he wound his coat around them without waking them and

carried them off his defense was ingenious but he was sent up for three months all the same ingenious they are well how did you come up with such an anti-defenses slick chickens crawled into your coat and slept wow this is over on page eight now just it's just a section through this yeah just really it's easy when you don't want to hear any of that no need to reread this thing like that got it moving on to Leadville miners went to a ball in Chicago last week one of them getting intoxicated took off his coat and laid it in the window while he vigorously engaged in the witcheries of the dance an officer that's how dance

oh no that's actually just dancing oh I thought sex so I'm with you Karen no it felt very euphemism yeah wait what is it which is the witcheries of the dance witcheries I'll be off to do the witcheries if you don't mind excuse me my lady would you like to do the witcheries of the dance wasn't he at a dance how is it a ball yeah well no that's not what's illegal an officer took possession of the coat and found a wall in the chicken coat outbreak it's an epidemic found a wallet in the pocket containing a hundred and twenty seven thousand dollars which he returned to the careless miner which could you now

imagine a wallet that has a hundred and twenty seven thousand dollars in it that can't be right it's like a suitcase like it's just not possible yeah not a thing it's not a thing that happened they sell it at six flags yeah in the 1800s if a nickel would like buy was like what you made in a week oh yeah hundred and eighty seven thousand that hundred twenty seven yeah I mean it's it's it's millions of dollars in our millions of dollars to the dance I'll just put my coat down it's fine I'll start here at the chair with all the other coats no big deal no problem either way right just a billion dollars what it's a good story that's

normal yeah so yes it's more reporting on this would be phenomenal but of course one background like his dad a banker did he does he work at the men's how did we think he got any idea just a minor they say he's willing to okay here's how I got it he is one of the men who walked from Chicago to Leadville when the mining excitement broke out and returned wealthy owing to bold speculations okay so he's the classic he's the classic striking minor who went to the big town and struck it rich by with stocks and you know could you could you transfer those stocks into single-dollar bills I'd like to fill my

pockets and go to a dance will you put them in this wallet that's the size of me perfect my god I wish someone had invented something like banks should I go home and put the money away or no no no no no I'll go straight to the I'll go straight to the dance I'll go starting time I'll go straight to the dance it's too important here's the thing about me I fucking love to dance yeah I mean you love today it's my thing yeah I don't care what's going on I don't care how many millions of dollars I have in my pockets I'm gonna fucking cut a rug that's right oh still my bed that's just a coat with the fifty million dollars in

it he was like the first guy that tried to make it rain but back then it didn't make any sense yeah what do you do what that's right now how's that gonna help the crops boy now is in the future okay so so he's he's written more personal stuff what great good this is what I was missing last Tuesday with our right eye swollen half shut with a narrow Gia and two double-tanged jaw teeth that's in parentheses aching like all possessed we entered the medicine lodge of Dr. Markel and told him to get ready for business it's what a horrible thing to live in a time where you sit down in a doctor you're gonna make money off of me I'm

real ill it sounds like was his eye his eye was so swollen it swallowing hurt mmm he had jaw teeth before we had you know root canals you that could get so obsessed that your whole face could swell like that's cool yeah it's but it's bright but it'll probably kill me it's just yes I spit and pus and blood spraying out of the man's mouth as he threatens the dentist with business 15 minutes later we returned to our office with two archers less teeth but in far happier frame of mind as a tooth jerkest we can call hardily we can hardly recommend dr. Markel but I probably can't hear anymore that's the teeth can't

hear like they used to 15 minutes by the way for what sounds like a tremendous amount of work yeah yeah not great yeah kind of light brain surgery it sounds like we're gonna put some dynamite in your mouth and then we'll go in the other room your best to jerk us to this town he refers to a dentist as a tooth jerk I'm gonna do that too and next at this deployment and you know y'all got a tooth jerkest on staff my head is the size of a Volvo all right David one more one that we got one last local one last local pee I say this one this was on page four and then is there an handicap cartoon like on the back that

you should there be this should be but this is pretty great Marshall minor killed a large rat on the sidewalk in front of the express office on Thursday evening with his cane the rat refused to surrender and our Marshall was forced to kill the varmint what this inability to understand the size of animals brains basically living back then was just a you witnessing a series of violence being done to animals and children yes and then just kind of like either I care I'm gonna report it maybe not it's all kind of the same thing holy shit this newspaper was in print from 1879 until 2004 no my god wait really quick can you

can you get a recent version of it I can pull up the I can pull up the last one yeah wonder I wonder if it's format changed at all this is the new editor I have no notes on the actual formatting of the periodical it's fall it's airtight oh those brackets gorgeous great everyone put your stories in a hat and then we're gonna pick them out for the order of the week okay including history for sure that could be the front page nothing means anything it's not that much different I got a deer caught on fence that's the front the the last issue was December 29 2004 they've they've upped the graphics so it says 1879 and then

there's like a picture of like vineyards and stuff but the top story is six annual Christmas which wish program a huge success so they're still they found a way to stay wishes are real now we did it I wish for a new hometown paper no that is you're not allowed to wish that one no sorry well Karen I hope you learned a lot I'm walking away through a with a head full of facts again for real I just I feel like you know whether it was local or all the way around the world I was really let into a time and place yeah it was good to learn that this guy whoever this person was was crazy crazy and and and definitely still

able to take the time out to be an overt racist and really get that in the paper and really peel peel back the veil and show us what it's like to be sick and make a paper and even with the sickness and the dental issues still took the time to judge local mothers with the job they were doing with their totally regular or maybe sometimes other abled children doc I'm too sick to prejudice you got to take this tooth out of me I keep dreaming of coal-eyed people well Karen you have a podcast I believe too right I'm thick oh do you I have two podcasts what's my two podcasts are my

favorite murder with George Hart Stark and do you need a ride with a Chris Fairbanks two fantastic podcasts that everybody should listen to Karen thank you for coming on the past time's podcast thank you for having me that was really enjoyable enjoyably not that enjoyable we took you we took you to your your homeland I'm so grateful to have been born when I was and not in the late 1800s it's a bystander sir oh I'm gonna name it person I'm gonna call her a rat and beat her with a cane that's our way it's how we do it it's how we deal with things they still do it today they have but they have a rat cane

beating festival every year yeah well I want to thank tradition well thank you again Karen thanks you guys screw you Dave