The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 159 - Pedestrianism
Episode Date: March 14, 2016Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine pedestrianism, the sport of walking. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH...
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Keep doing it. Keep doing it. Your Austin Powers impression forever. You're listening to the
dollop this is a bi-weekly American History podcast each week. I read a story to my friend.
Garrett Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary
Garrett. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is
not going to become a tickly podcast. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail
queen shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what?
Free. Hi, Gary. No. Has he done, my friend? No. This podcast is brought to you by
Patreon and all of our subscribers at Patreon. We very much appreciate your
donations and your help. We need it. Baby needs a new pair of shoes. All right. First
of all, you won me back. How's that for you? See he's being an asshole again. Hey, how's
that? You fucking dick. Get off the court. Don't look at me indignantly. Yeah. You were
just fucking with the court. All right, Dave. Don't yell at him. I don't know. There's
no... March 15th, 1839. All right. Edward Weston was born in Providence, Rhode Island.
When he was 10, his father left his wife and four kids and went to California in the Gold
Rush. That fucking Gold Rush messed up a lot of families. Honey, I'll be back. All right,
honey, I'm off. Gonna go to work on the other side of the country. I'll be back in a couple
years. Gonna go dig up some dirt. Yep. Dad's gonna dig in dirt for a while and look for
sparkly things. Now, at this time, there was a popular singing group called the Hutchinson
Family Singers. Okay. You have their albums. At that time, they were four brothers and
they were the hot group in America. So they're basically the Backstreet Boys. The 1830s Backstreet
Boys. The Backyard Lads. What's Jose looking at? He's looking at the window. If you have
a cat that you keep indoors, the whole thing is you basically just have to try to pretend
that there's nothing out there. But his constant quest is like, what is it? Hey, hey. Oh, okay.
Hey, Jose. Daddy's coming down. Daddy's dropping the hat. I might have to shut him out again.
So the Hutchinson Family Singers was singing songs about abolitionism, workers' right,
temperance, and women's rights. Yeah. Girl, I want to give you the right to vote. Who's
not gonna be drinking? Girl, I want you to be able to wear whatever you want in public,
girl, and go to the same bars and saloons as all the other people, girl. That's the
kind of love I'm about to bring to you. You know, we're talking about not working on weekends.
That's right, girl. Anyone who thinks that you shouldn't be allowed to work is like class
on Sunday. No school. Wait, I fucked that up. We don't think 12-year-olds should be
working in a coal mine. Also, if you're 13 years old, you shouldn't marry a 35-year-old
man, girl, and hit it. In the winter of 1849, the Hutchinson Family Singers came to Providence
and Weston, at 10 years old, pushed his mom to let him hit the road with a band. It's
time. I mean, the 1800s. It's time, mom. Edward's mom was not in good health, so she decided
the Hutchinson Family Singers would be great at taking care of her boy and off he went.
The cat just turned on the air conditioner. The cat just turned on the air conditioner.
Jose. Jose, that's amazing. All right, I'm going to shut him out. He just turned on the air
conditioner. That's fucking amazing. So it's cool, but it's also... He's like, I know I
did a bad thing. Oh, in the chair. Whole chair. Oh, Jose. Woo. All right, so she says that's
cool you can go off with this band. 10-year-old. That makes sense. Well, it happened to Michael
Jackson a lot, too. So for an entire year, young Edward toured with the group. What?
What is a 10-year-old touring like? He sold candy and song books at their shows. He...
This cannot end well. Ah, that after year... He's not the almost famous kid. That after
year of touring, he went and lived with Jesse Hutchinson, who quit the group to write songs
and manage them. Okay. Well, he was 11 at this point. It's time to move on. What's not
weird about this? Time to climb that social career. Oh, yes. Hello, gentlemen. This is
a young boy I picked up in Rhode Island. Yeah, hello. That's... Hi. Hey, Jesse, that's
a little weird. See, the thing is, like, I think if you think about the band and the
group and what the band needs, that's where I come in. Okay. I get them what they need.
I know, but why are you... And they need Coke. Why? They need cocaine. Okay, fair. Look,
fuck you. I'm 11, bitch. Hey. What? The language. Fuck you. I don't give a shit. You know what,
you're out of the band. No, come on. Listen, I am the band. I am the band. Wow. I don't
like this kid at all. Get out of the green room if you don't like it. Have you ever
seen an 11-year-old fuck a grown woman? No, I don't know what's happening right now.
What? The 1850s are fucked up. This is what's going on. I shoot heroin between my toes.
Jesus Christ. Things are bad. This isn't the story at all. I'm 11 now. I've seen it all.
I've done it all. In 1852, his dad returned home. Hey, what the fuck happened? No, it
was not great. And he recalled Edwards from Jesse Hutchinson. And then Edward went to
school. While home, he got a job as a news boy. But his father made him quit and got
him a job as a jeweler's apprentice. But Edward was not really into the job because
it didn't pay anything and he didn't like it. So he lasted about six months. He went
on the road for a year. Yeah. He's not going to like being a jeweler's assistant. I know.
So he lasted about six months before he quit and hit the road again and ended up working
for a traveling circus. Oh God. Next, he went to New York in 1856 and started selling books
door to door. In 1859, he published a book that his mother had written called A Peep
of Realities. It sold very well. It did? I don't know. That might have been because
Edward was a very good looking guy. He was often compared to John Wilkes Booth, the hottie
at the time. Everyone remembers him for his good looks. He was a great dresser. He often
wore a cape and used a walking stick. Okay. So in today's world, he would look like a
fucking lunatic. Yeah, he's crazy. In today's world, he's the penguin. Back then they were
like, what a snazzy dresser. Look at his cape. But his life was about to completely
change because of a bet. In 1860, just before the presidential election, Edward Weston
made a wager with a friend. Edward bet that Lincoln would lose the election. Okay. Of
course, he lost that bet, as we all know. Yes. The bet was whoever lost had to walk
from Boston. Oh, Jesus Christ. To Washington, D.C. in 10 days. Getting there before the
inauguration ceremony. Oh, my God. That was 478 miles. Oh, my God. You got to gump it
to D.C. What I mean, what a boring time it must be when all you could bet on were presidential
elections and the loser had to walk for 10 days for 10 days. Shoot his word. Edward set
out on foot on New Year's Day in 1861. First, he walked from Hartford to New Haven, Connecticut.
He made the best of it, dropping off book catalogs at houses he passed. The distance
was 36 miles, which he did at 11 hours. He said he felt no ill effects, and then knew
he could make it to D.C. So he started making arrangements. But how is the test walk? D.C.
is how many miles? 478. He has 10 days. Yeah. That doesn't seem doable. 40 miles a day,
some 40 plus miles a day. That's a lot. Yeah. That is a lot. I'm glad we're on the same
page. So he hired a carriage to ride with him as support and to be a witness. Next, he
talked to the he talked to the Grover and Baker sewing machine company into giving him
$100 to hand out proportional promotional materials for materials for them as he walked. Okay.
Then he got a pharmacy, a photographic studio and a haberdashery to do the same. He also
got the rubber clothing company to give him a rubber suit. Okay. Why? I don't know. I
don't know why. That's the best answer. Like I get that it might rain, but a rubber suit
sounds really just awful. Terrible. Terrible. Just a rubber suit. It doesn't breathe as
much as I thought it would. You know how bad it would smell when you took a little musty
under here if I'm being honest with you. I can't believe rubber suits didn't catch on.
It just doesn't breathe. Then Edward sent newspapers along the route his itinerary.
He was creating a buzz. So he's a bit of a marketer. His Twitter would be great. Oh my
God. On February 22nd, 1861, Weston came to Beacon Hill to start his walk. He was wearing
blue white, sorry, blue wool tights, a white shirt and a heavy blue coat with brass buttons.
So perfect attire for this journey. Walking. Yep. Get your wool pants on. He also decided
on boots that were too large. Because of the papers, a crowd was waiting to see him off.
He was then arrested. That's going to hinder things for unpaid debts. He owed $90 to a couple
of creditors. He was taken to the police station where he promised to pay the debts. And then
he was released. It's a weird start. And I'm off. Get over here. You're arrested. Why for
not paying your debts? I promise to pay my debt. I'm actually paying that right now.
It's just yeah, I promise I'll pay my debt. So a bit of a delay, a couple hours, then
the crowd was still waiting for him, though now they were irritated. Some yelled shame
on them and demanded to know who the creditors were. Shame on the creditors? Oh, God, we've
always been the same. Yeah, nothing's changed. So he began to walk. At first. And then he
was arrested. At first, at first joined by several hundred people. Okay. As he left from
Statehouse down Beacon Street, eventually the crowd peeled off and he was alone. That
evening he arrived in Farmingham, where he was escorted by framing him, I think. It might
have been read. It might have been. Anyway, auto corrected. He was escorted by waiting
drummer boys who met him at the edge of town and Charles Dickens him to the end for drummer
boy. What the fuck? It's it's the 18. That's just absurd. I mean, just okay. Trumber boys.
A few women in a brothel were also waiting for him. One asked if she could kiss him and
have him pass it on to the president. Oh, wow. That's a weird thing. Well, Mr. President,
I actually have something for you. And if you'll excuse me, Mr. President, I now need
to suck your dick. I'm just passing along what I was told to, sir. Edward got a kiss
from every woman in the brothel to give to the president. Oh, boy. And off he went, continued
to walk that night, his way lit by just a kerosene lamp. At midnight, he arrived in
Worcester and was immediately arrested for another debt. This is unreal. More more debts.
Again, he was held for two hours. He was finally released when two men he didn't even know
signed a promissory note. Wow. Off he went again walking. Now word was out that every
every time he came to he was met by cheering crowds. So that's crazy. People can't be like
this is fucking awesome. They wait hours. He comes, they cheer. It's a whole thing.
Right. Walks through right in South Brookfield. He had a brass band that walked with them
in another town. They gave him a sleut of seven guns. People always offered him some
of the drink and he often had milk. Crowds would wait for as long as milk. He's just
walking in wool and drinking milk. This dude's wool panties probably smelled real weird.
Crowds would wait for as long as six hours for him to show up. Crowds are dumb. When
he got to Milford, he found they had lit bonfires and the hotel owner gave him a free
room to rest for a little bit. He doesn't have much time. On February 27th, he walked
into Manhattan. He had breakfast, took some photos with people, then took a nap on an
office table at Grover and Bakers, his sponsor. Oh man. It's a nightmare. This is a nightmare
jaunt. He did not rest for more than four hours at a time to keep pace. Near Philadelphia,
he got lost and went 12 miles in the wrong direction. Oh, that's got to be a pain. You
need an extra glass of milk to soothe that one. Yes, that's got to hurt so much. I guess
I'll just have another glass of delicious milk to quench my thirst. Now, one reason
that this walk was so popular was gambling. In saloons all over the East Coast, bets were
being made. Wow. Oh, no. They were betting on whether or not he would get there before
Lincoln's an inauguration. And he arrived in DC on the day of the Oregon inauguration
at 5pm. The inauguration had taken place at noon. Oh, fuck. He was five hours too late.
Oh, the entire trip had taken 10 days, four hours and 12 minutes. Oh my God. And he failed.
Oh my God. But he got an invitation to go to inaugural party and met Lincoln. Lincoln
offered to pay his train fare back to Boston, but Edward was set on walking back. It just
this that's the that's the worst thing that happens. Was it after the kisses? Because
then it's like cab fare. He he he made out with Lincoln for about 25 minutes. He kissed
Lincoln for 25 minutes. He kissed and then Lincoln be like, Okay, I think it's enough.
And he'd be like, No, Bridget, this is you forgot about Bridget. She liked to swirl her
tongue. So he said I'm walking back. But then the Civil War broke out. Before he was ready
to head back and he decided to quote use my pedestrian abilities in serving our government.
Okay. Edward Western became a messenger for the Union Army. Oh, wow. When the war was
over, Edward found himself thousands of dollars in debt. Oh, boy. So he turned to what he knew
best walking walking. Oh, God. Look, Edward made a deal with a well known New York gambler
who made a bet with another gambler checking the bet was whether or not Edward could walk
1200 miles from Portland, Maine to Chicago, Illinois in 30 days. Oh my God. Well, he would
take Sundays off because Edward's mother didn't want him walking on the Sabbath. Yeah, that
makes total sense. Yeah. Yep. The best. Nothing weird about that. Nope. Can't walk on Sundays.
Well, religious people thought that this was a like waste of of your like life God given
energy. Right. I mean, like God gave you the ability to do things. So you should be working
whatever not walking from. So all these clergy were against this. That's that's a weird take
on it, too. You know, you shouldn't walk. God made you. But it was walking for the for
money, right? Yeah. So to them. Well, they didn't mind when he did it on water. Okay,
that's fair. So it wasn't for money. If you Well, it was for bread and fish. I remember
that one of the why the one of the wise men bet his mur on it. I feel like you're not one
of them. No, if you read revelations, one of them wise men bet fish for his mur that
he was taking, I provide the information. I don't know why it can't be a two way road.
The bet was for $10,000. Oh, fuck, which the equivalent of $147,000 today. Wow. So two
guys bet against each other that he could make it. That's just too big gamblers, right?
But then he but he gets his debts squashed if he doesn't, he gets a cut from the winner.
Okay. If he doesn't do it, then he gets nothing. Okay. He walked out of Portland on October
29 1867 wearing a black jacket, red leggings and very special boots. Is he a spice girl?
The boots had tubes. Just your regular tube boot that he could pour whiskey into this
guy's quote, keep his feet from chafing or swelling. He had whiskey boots. We had whiskey
boots. We put whiskey into it yet. He is sorry. I don't want to. He wanted to have whiskey
feet. Sorry, just to be clear, whiskey. It's very his plan was to put whiskey on his feet
and put whiskey in his shoes. Correct. Because that'll help them would stop with the chafing
and swelling, right? Okay, medical. Sure. Totally makes total sense. I'm sure some people
raise the eyebrow. It'd be great if he like lost his balance of his fever shitfaced. My
feet are hammered. This time there are four witnesses in two different carriages who would
be following him. Now the entire nation became focused on West in the Walker. When he got
to Buffalo, he was escorted through the city by 24 police officers. People lined the streets
and were packed into windows and on the roof of every building. When he got to Erie, the
local paper wrote quote, the excitement here over the matter is really extraordinary. Oh
man. Everybody is discussing. Did you hear he's walking? There's a man walking by. He's
got whiskey feet and he's walking. Everybody is discussing it and all eager for the latest
rumor concerning the pedestrian hero. Congress meets in a week or so. Nobody is talking about
Congress. It's all West and West in the Walker. West in the pedestrian. He's the man. Oh
God, the writing is just how you expect them to talk. West and you see, he's the man. Edward
Devon did have one big concern though. Because so much money was being bet and whether or
not he would make it, he was worried that gamblers would try to harm it. Totally. That's
okay. He would only eat food that one of the witnesses, Mr. Grinnell had watched prepared.
Okay. He was also worried that someone would run out and try to stomp on his feet. Yeah.
But he was never troubled and he strolled into Chicago at 9am on Thanksgiving Day. A day
ahead of schedule. Wow. 50,000 people. No, no, no, no, no. He's had a Super Bowl parade.
Is this what started the Macy's Day parade? 50,000 people. 50,000 people. 50,000 people.
Walking and walking. 50 police escorted him to his hotel as a marching band walked behind
him. Harper's wrote, this walk made Weston, Weston's name a household word. Wow. From
walking walking. This happened to be a time when roller skating was exploding across America.
Dave, Dave, Dave. No, okay. What are you thinking? I'm thinking that this guy's about to roller
skate across to somewhere. Roller rinks are being built in cities and towns everywhere.
Also industrialization meant urban people were looking for sports to attend. Up until
now the biggest sports were cock fighting, dog fighting and bare knuckle boxing, many
of which were really illegal. These new buildings allowed Edward Weston to tour and that's just
what the new husband and father did. He toured? I gotta hear this. He would go to a town.
Oh, God. And for 50 cents, you could watch Edward. Sorry. Dave. He would walk in circles
for hours on temporary tracks. What? He wouldn't just walk. There would be a time limit. So
he would do like 100 miles and 25 hours. You just stand there and wait for him to leave.
You get some free walks. Oh, he's walking. He would also bet on himself being able to
do it in a certain amount of time. What? In front of 5,000 people in Manhattan, he walked
100 miles in 22 hours and won a bet of $2,500. You can't write this. I mean, how do you walk
yourself into this situation? How do you become a professional walker? 5,000 people watched
for 22 hours? Yeah. Has he walked? Yeah. What's the conversation like an hour 18? There
you go. Boy, this is really, he's really just walking, isn't he? Man, I ain't see a guy
walk like this in a while. Look at him walk. Let's see that again. Let's see that walk
again. It's super slow motion replay. She's coming back around. Look at it. There he goes.
It took a while, but he went by. Wow. That's the 950th time he's done that. Some gigs were
in such small buildings that it would take 50 laps to walk a mile. It's like a bar.
As comics, when you walk into a venue, you size it up to sort of see the seating. He
goes in there. He's like, oh boy, I'm going to have to walk a lot of circles in here.
So it's just around the pool table. This isn't, oh boy, huh? I'm going to get dizzy. It was
also pretty boring to just watch a guy walk in a circle so he would hire a band and sometimes
he'd play the trumpet as he walked. You got to spice it up. He was known for season three.
He was known for dressing well. He would dress in ruffled shirts and usually carried a riding
crop or a cane. Faster me, faster. Go boy, go. And the reviews poured in. One newspaper
said he walked with, quote, a splendid sweeping stride that carries him over the road like
the wind. This is insanity. What? He walks like an angel. Another said his legs, quote,
were put on like two toothpick picks stuck in opposite sides of a potato. So the reviews
varied. Either way, to many young men in America. Don't say he was a hero. He was a sports hero.
Oh God. What? A sports hero. Eat your Weedabix. And the sports. Stay in school. And remember,
walk. Man, did you see that walk last night? Man, I'll tell you, I did not think he was
going to keep walking. He did. That was crazy. The whole time. He walked. The sport of walking
grew and grew. God damn it. The sport of walking. The United States of America had walking fever.
We've had it since we stood upright. And what your walking races began to be held everywhere.
How do you? Is it like speed walking? Yeah. Race walking. Companies put together pedestrian
teams. What? The department stores in New York put their employees up against each other.
Our employees will walk circles around you, boys, from that other store. Good luck, Target.
Good luck. Kmart's got the walking spirit. In St. Louis, the six newspapers had a walk
off. A cobbler invented the walking shoe, which had springs in it. Some men just bet
large amounts against each other and walked that shit off. So you'd just be like, I cannot
walk you, Jerry. And then you and Jerry would go down and have a walk off. This is the time
that America discovered walking. This is it. After we'd been walking. This is the walking
time. Even Mark Twain was caught up in the walking hysteria. Oh boy. He and a friend
tried to walk 100 miles from Hartford to Boston, but gave up after 10 miles and took a train.
It's the thought that counts. One man who became interested in walking was Dan O'Leary.
O'Leary was born. I can't get used to the things you're saying. One man who got excited
by walking. It's going to keep happening. I'll get used to it. O'Leary was born in
1846 in Ireland. His family had a small cottage in County Cork. The potato famine was in full
swing when he was born and lasted for the first six years of his life. When he was 20
years old, like many Irish, he made his way to America. He was alone and had no money.
O'Leary made his way to Chicago and got a job in a lumber yard. Like Edward Watson,
Dan started to sell books door to door and he made a good living hocking the Bible and
Webster's dictionaries. Okay. He sold many of his books on payment plans. How much was
a book? I don't know. What you can do is it's very simple. You can pay 10 cents now, 10
cents next month, and then 10 cents a month after that. So it's just 30 cents? 30 cents.
But you can do it now with three easy payments, low easy payments of just 10 cents each. But
it's just 30 cents. Right. Or 10 cents. Three times. He's the guy who invented the easy
payments just for easy installments. But wait, wait, wait, there's more. But that all came
to a crashing end when the Great Fire destroyed Chicago in 1871. Hundreds of people were killed
and thousands lost their homes. Three square miles of Chicago were burnt down and many
of those were customers of Dan O'Leary. Overnight he was completely screwed. Now the
only place he could sell books was in the suburbs. So each day he started making the
long walk to sell his books. Go on. Then in 1873, O'Leary heard some men talking about
Edward trying to walk 100 miles in 24 hours. O'Leary said he could do that and they told
him the only way to do it was to hire a haul, put up some money and make a challenge. So
O'Leary rented a roller rink and put out word that he would be walking 100 miles in 24 hours.
And please tell me nobody gave a shit. On July 14, 1874, he began his challenge against
time. He only had ice water and brandy and finished with 43 minutes to spare. He was
hooked. On walking. The next month he rented the rink and walked 105 miles in 23 hours and
38 minutes. Whoa. Exciting stuff. Meanwhile, Edward was just becoming bigger and bigger.
In an event in New Jersey in 1874, the number of bets placed was so huge that the mayor
of Newark considered bringing in the National Guard to keep Edward safe. Oh my God. For
walking. Keep him safe while walking. A gambler was arrested after he tried to pour some sort
of chemical on the track. That guy's plan is amazing. Excuse me, sir. In the end, Edward
did it with just 30 minutes left on the clock. Wow. Then he received a challenge from Dan
O'Leary. Oh my God. A 250 mile match. Edward's response was simple. Quote, make a good record
first and meet me after. Yeah, you got to learn to walk before you can walk. You almost
fit Tia. Yeah. So to walk race the king, he had to make a name for himself first. This
is just like how you get the boxing heavyweight championship. It's exactly that. Hey, get
a few fights under your belt, then maybe you get a shot at the champ, but it's with walking.
Hey, man, look, walk a little bit more than maybe people have been walking the whole fucking
time. In Philadelphia in April, 1875, they threw batteries at him. Dan O'Leary broke
Edwards 24 hour record by walking 116 miles in 23 hours, 12 minutes and 53 seconds. Well,
somebody stepping up was on. Oh God, someone is fucking walking. Yeah. Who's this Rocky
Balboa kid I'm hearing about? And O'Leary's name was getting out there. One month later,
he was packing in the crowds in Chicago. In front of 5000 people, O'Leary broke Edwards
500 mile record in two by two hours. He was given a gold medal that claimed he was quote,
champion pedestrian of America. Wow. Well, you said it couldn't be done. It's being done.
You're the best walker. Or are you? You're the best walker we have. So he was on Edward.
Couldn't you like, could you would you so people you never were running? Could people
arguably be like that looked like a skip? No rules against running looked like he trotted.
Could you keep pretending to trip and sort of run? No, just do that the whole thing.
Another trip. Nope. Well, they weren't idiots. They knew. No, no, they weren't idiots. They
were just the people gambling on people walking. Not idiots. So he was on Edward and he agreed
to race Dan O'Leary. This reminds me of the paint drying Olympics. He agreed to race Dan
O'Leary in the summer of 1875. People were excited. Gosh, the reigning hero of walking
was being challenged by a young upstart. It was marketed as the great walking match for
the championship of the world. Super catchy and normal. 500 miles. Two men. Two men enter
walking both men walk out. Both men walk and then one. They both will walk out but one
will walk out. Two men. Yes. Two men enter walking. One enters walking. One exits walking.
They keep walking. A champion and the other will still be walking. One walks the much.
One walking man. One. I lost it. I had walking. Two men walk. Two men walk out. All right.
We're going to have to kill one at the end. I think that's what we're all saying the same
thing. One has to die at the end. They found the largest venue possible. Chicago's Interstate
Exposition Building. Edward being the big draw was to get $500 above half the gate. Tickets
were 50 cents each. Okay. The Chicago Evening Journal wrote quote he travels in style being
attended by two Negro servants. It's a stud is very stud. They're so in black is so in
right now. So in the one big rule was that the race had to end before midnight the following
Saturday night. First, Edward still didn't walk on the Sabbath because it was mommy.
Right. But second, Chicago had blue laws that did not allow for public amusements on Sunday.
So six days was as long as the walking could go on. So you could go from as soon as it
turned midnight, 12am on Saturday until a week later, 12am. Because there was a ban on
amusement. Right. And walking is super fun to watch. Super exciting. Who bans amusement?
Chicago. How the fuck? How do you ban amusement? You can't. No revelry. No joy on Sundays.
In all pedestrian races, one foot had to be in contact with the ground at all times.
They called it walking. This prevented running or galloping. Okay. But again, I really think
I found something with the trip around the track. I can't stop tripping. At midnight
on November 15th, 1875, the race began. 400 people were there for the opening step. Edward
always looking sweet wore a black velvet suit with black boots and a silk sash diagonally
across his chest. You can really like hear the Lady Gaga-ing and Elton John-ing of his
wardrobe. You can tell his ego is sort of exploding by the amount of fabrics he's wearing. With
a suede mask. And he had the old trademark, his riding
crop. Dan O'Leary had on white tights, a striped tank top and a brown knitted jacket as well
as light walking shoes. Whoa, man. Both those looks. The crowd began to build as the long
walk went on. A few times police were called to get people off the track. I'm like running
on the stage when Led Zeppelin's playing. So Chicago. Edward and Dan walked and walked
and slept only three or five hours per night. They usually ate while they walked. That's
so weird. Chicago Tribune. I'll have the pasta. No, this is hard. I should not have ordered
chili. Another glass of milk, please. Chili. Chicago Tribune, quote, on Tuesday evening
Weston's gestures, scraps of song, mimicry of actors and other recreations such as trumpet
playing were greatly enjoyed by the audience and seemingly by himself. I'm sure he was
a big fan of him. He's the TO of walking. Jesus. On Friday night, the crowd was enormous.
Thousands of Irish immigrants yelling until they were a horse. Keep walking. Come on.
Don't just step back in one foot, foot or the other. Fuck this guy. Come on. No, don't
fuck him. No, fucking beat him. No, don't fucking beat him. Fuck him in his hole. No, don't
fuck. What the fuck are you cheering about? I've been here before. This is a walking
fucking competition. What is this? This is a walking competition. Oh, shit. Yeah, are
you looking for gay? Yeah. You're looking for gay sex. Yeah, I'm looking for gay sex. No,
it's not here. Oh. No, there's fucking many places down there. Not on Sunday, though.
No amusement on Sundays. No, it's not amusement. It's fair enough. Not the way I do it. Gonna
actually switch seats now that you... Let's get out of here. Don't touch my arm, please.
Let go of my arm. Let me show you my arm. Get a strong grip on there. Let go of fucking
arm. I'm gonna show you my potato. Excuse me? Yeah. Well, I've always loved a bit of
potatoes. Those aren't potatoes at all. It's been a while since we did an Irish accident.
A Saturday night, the final night of the race, the surge of people trying to get in was unparalleled.
The expo was, quote, surrounded by a surging mass of humanity, eager to procure tickets.
Excitement could not have reached a higher pitch, it would seem, for appearances indicated
almost a wild delirium of the throng that besieged the building. It's just if it wasn't
walking, it would make sense. When you say those things, I can see the event, but then
I can't see what's in the spotlight. The walking. Walking. At 8 p.m., five... Holy shit, he's
playing the trumpet! Look at him go! At 8 p.m., 5,000 people were inside. They shouted
yell and cheered. By 9 p.m., it was 6,000. At 11.15 p.m., Dan O'Leary completed his 500th
mile. Whoa. Edward was not even close. He looked terrible and was on mile 451. Oh, Jesus.
It was over. America's greatest pedestrian of the past five years had beaten. They said
it couldn't be done. I didn't think anyone could walk as fast as him. He's a very good
walker. I told you he'd do it. I walked. That's our point. I did it. O'Leary... What
anyone like to buy a book? O'Leary was given a giant gold medal that declared him champion
of the world. Of walking? Edward walked with 5,000, O'Leary 4,500. That's what they walked
with? Yeah. Well, you know what I mean. Well, I mean... I mean, they still walked out of
there. Right. They walked out. It's not like they ran out. No. God, no. After the race,
Edward said charcoal fumes from the peanut vendor's cart had gotten into his head and
made him nervous and worried him. Yeah. It was the peanuts. Let's just talk about what
he's... The reason why he couldn't walk fast was because of peanut smoke. That's... Yeah.
Just a normal sentence. Science. Just a normal sentence. He said he'd also gotten death threats
from the crowd and claimed he didn't want to get riddled and, quote, end up a human
colander for winning the race. That's a little dramatic. O'Leary said Edward was insulting
the city of Chicago and that it was a lie. He's insulting the sport of walk. Well, thank
you. He then told Edward to ask for a rematch or stop saying his name and to take champion
pedestrian of America from his title. Mike Tyson is born. Now. Edward then decided to
take his show on the road. He went to England in 1876. Oh, man. It's like when the Beatles
came to America. That's right. There he challenged England's top pedestrian William Perkins
to a 24-hour race. The British Medical Journal, the Lancet on America. The Lancet? Yeah.
It's a famous one. Is it like a mole publication? It's a medical journal. This month boils.
Oh, boy. Quote, far beyond other nations in their hygienic unwholesomeness, living habitually
in their close stove heated rooms, bolting their food at railway speed year by year.
Americans grow thinner, lighter and shorter lived. So they're just talking shit about
Americans. Well, we showed them. This guy doesn't have it. Yeah, we got really fat. We got way
wider and we're still dying younger. Boom, England. Girl. 5,000 people paid to watch
the match. But it wasn't a long race. Perkins quit after 65 miles. Oh, boy. His feet were
swollen and bleeding. Had he never walked? Turns out English pedestrians didn't do long
walks, but instead short ones. Well, we go on joints. Where they could run and jock. Yes,
we didn't understand the rule. When you say walking, we didn't understand you about walking.
We met Trotty, a bit of a skipper. We walk. We thought walking meant running. We misunderstood
the whole time. We're not going to do this with the road. All right. Why is he just walking?
What is walking? Sorry. Oh, my goodness. Does someone get me a whiskey bucket for my feet?
Edward continued walking after Perkins quit and finished the 24 hour race. Wow. Suddenly,
he was the talk of the town. Yeah. And in America, Dan O'Leary was the talk of the
US. He was now touring to sold out crowds. He was truly. Thank you, Denver. You've been
amazing. Great walking. I love how slow you were. Your pace is so consistent. O'Leary
was truly the champion pedestrian of America. Then he went to England. Oh, snap. The minute
he landed, he challenged Edward to a six day race. Oh, boy. Edward's like, can you just
leave me alone, please? And O'Leary won again. Wow. He completed 519 miles while Ed had 510.
O'Leary won what today would be $280,000. Holy shit. And he headed back to the States.
Now Edward was broke. His reputation was shattered and he was stranded in England. This is like
the death leopard story. Of walking. Of walking. In March, 1878, the first Astley belt was
held in New York. The winner got a large gold and jeweled belt from Sir John Astley. Another
victory and more money. Okay. By the time the third Astley belt came around, it was the
biggest sporting event in the history of New York City. Sorry. So what did they award the
Astley belt for? Walking. It was for walking? Yeah. Oh my god. What did you think we were
talking about? No, I thought it was like for a night. I thought it was maybe like another
sports award. No. It's still... It's just... All right. You keep hoping this is going to be something
different. I mean, I've never wanted to hear the word skip more in my life. Throw a fucking hurdle
out there, something. Jesus God. So it's the biggest sporting event in the history of New
York City. Western Union set up a telegram to send results around the country. Wow. The crowd
outside who couldn't get in rushed the building but were beaten back by police. Well, at least
some things don't change. This led to a riot that lasted for two hours. The event, the walking
event was so popular, newspapers were releasing hourly updates on their front pages. Oh my
god. Spectators were sleeping in the arena on hard benches. Gas lights were lowered around
midnight. On Wednesday night, a balcony collapsed and a hundred people tumbled into a heap on
broken wood. The band stopped playing because of the collapse, but then the police ordered
them to start playing again. Keep playing. They played St. Patrick's Day in the morning.
Sure. Well, that's what you... That's what that's your go to when there's a tragedy in
the crowd. No one died in the balcony collapse, but a few were seriously wounded. Within an
hour, people were climbing on the wreckage to get a better view of the track. Jesus. What?
To watch them walk? I think I broke you. What? They're walking. Walking. I mean, we've talked
about some dumb, like some dumb things that we've done in our history. You know, even
like the fashion is... Climbing on like a debris pile to watch two dudes walk like halfway
through their walk race. People had just been severely injured. Almost killed. All together,
the event brought in 1.25 million in today's money. I mean, this like Don King should have
been there. Meanwhile, Edward Weston was stuck in England, trying to make money by walking,
usually in solo events held in music halls. So now he's like on the downside of his career.
I mean, it's terrible. He's walking in circles in music halls. I used to walk in front of
5,000 people. I used to be somebody. Just walk. Shut up and get out there and fucking
walk. We didn't pay to talk. In 1870. Who am I? In 1879, there was an Astley Belt held
in England. Oh, boy. So Edward entered. Lucky for him, the champion and the favorite heard
his foot the day before and withdrew. He stepped on a rock weird. Yeah. I mean, that happens.
Can you walk? Yeah, I can walk. But can you walk? I don't think I'll be able to walk.
Edward won and got $2,000. This enabled him to return to the US, which he did on May 23rd
at 1879. I'm rooting for him. He was met at the dock by the mayor of New York. You're
back. So, you know, yeah, here's he's in a place where people think he's great. But
times have changed. O'Leary was now putting on his own event called the O'Leary Belt.
Oh, my God, he's gotten big. He's huge. He's no fucking joke. No. And the fifth Astley
Belt was coming up. The price was now $1 to get in. The reason was of the price increase.
Increase was quote to keep out an undesirable crowd. So they don't want the fucking. Yeah,
Ruffian's coming in to watch the walking. Yeah, you don't want like a blackout guy walking.
Yeah. The first black pedestrian entered the race, the Jackie Robinson of walking, right?
And it was a disaster for Edward. He was in the sixth place and not doing well. A newspaper
said he was using quote, queer antics in an attempt to amuse the audience, twisting his
body into all sorts of apish forms to the great disgust and hisses of many. So now he's
just pretty honest, weird. He's now like a wrestling villain. Now he's like, the show
is in the show. I think that I think that for him. This is sad stuff for the trumpet.
But I think for him, he realized how boring it was. And then he crossed over into clownish
walking. Here's what I here's what I think happened. I think he had lost his ability
to walk in relative, relatively speaking, he lost his ability to walk. And so he decided
he needed to spice up. It's like, it's like when those people who enter eating competitions
who aren't going to win, they just dress like fucking lunatics instead. You know, that's
how you know some like, so I think he was just he knew he wasn't going to win. So he
started to do an impression of an orangutan. And I love that the crowd hated it.
Right. One reporter said Edward was quote insane. On the sixth day, God, Edward finished
his 450th mile and the crowd barely applauded. Edward lost it. He started crying. Oh my God, Dave.
And went to his tent where it was reported he was quite hysterical. Jesus. He was sobbing
so hard attendance thought he was having convulsions. Oh my God. Well, again, it's walking, but
my heart goes out to him. But again, yeah, but he was on the top of the walking world.
Again, we've covered this that is sold out crowd. I understand. But again, a man named
Charles Rowell one. Next up was the O'Leary Belt Race in April 1880. It was the highest
attendant walking match in New York history in the fourth race in eight months in the
city. This time the first black pedestrian won. Okay. And New York paper said he had
he won because he had quote a strong mixture of French blood in his veins. What? We couldn't
because it was a boy. It is amazing. It's so amazing to go to a time when people like
well blacks aren't athletic black black people are an athletic people. He must it's the French.
It's the French blood in him that won that. Yeah, there's gonna be some French in that
guy. Trust me. Pedestrianism was now at its peak. In 1881 rumors began that walking matches
were being fixed by bookies. Hey, fall down in the fourth mile. You know what I want you
to do? I want you to stop walking. Hey, look, walk the first 200 normal, then you're gonna
get a leg cramp. See a big cramp in your leg. Just slow it down. You know what I mean, boy?
Hey, look, I'm not asking you to walk. I'm just saying don't walk great. You don't have
to walk walk. You know what I mean? Just walk. There's a lot of people out there depending
on you to have a bad day of walking if you know what I mean. Johnny, you told them, right?
Why is he walking so much? God damn it. He's gonna screw us. An athletic venue where fixing
was where there was fixing going on. This is just insane. What fixing walking? What the
fuck are we talking about? Fixing walking. There's a place where people go to watch walking
and now people are taking walk dives. That's right. At this at the time, a venue where
there was fixing going on was called a hippodrome. That's what people would call it. If everyone
knew there was illegal walking, illegal matches, you know, fixed walking. Was there any reason
they would call it the hippo? I couldn't figure that out. I looked. Bedding was now happening
all during a race. You could bet on winners, losers, number of completed laps in a time
period, order of finish, etc. There's probably a guy who's got like one buck on like a shoelace
coming untied. I win 100 bucks if his shoe goes untied. That's a crazy bet, Johnny. Yeah,
I'm crazy. I'm Johnny. A referee officiating a match in San Francisco was so disgusted by
the blatant fixing that he quit in the middle of a match and announced to the crowd that
it was a hippodrome. Okay, I don't want to stop us. You just said a referee. Well, remember
what I said about you got to have a foot on the ground. I don't even want to get into
it. I don't even want to get into how does one become a walk referee? Well, you study.
You study walking. Will you go to go to their camps? I can't. I can't. What correct walking
is? You know what? You say that, but then when you see a bad walking referee, the whole
match is fucked up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, oh, I get it. God, a walking referee.
I'm quitting. It became pretty apparent the O'Leary belt of 1881 was afflicted with fixing.
12 of the 19 walkers dropped out in the first two days. Oh man, they didn't make it look
good. Over the week, attendance dropped so much that the event only made $650. Okay.
The last one made $1.5 million. Right. Three months later, and an O'Leary event, a second
place at an O'Leary event, a second place walker said he would quit unless O'Leary paid
him $500. So in the middle of walking, a guy's like, I'm out here unless you give me 500
stamps. Jesus. So I think what we're learning is that walkers aren't the most moral of people.
We're all walkers. Okay, that's that's professional walkers. That's a fair profession. Yeah, professional
pedestrians were easy to. It's okay. You don't have to keep talking. So the final Ashley belt
was held in 1881. After that, there would be tons of events, the NS belt, the Fox diamond
belt, the rose belt, but they would never match the epic Ashley belt. And the O'Leary
belt was done to the sport had changed and was now saturated with walking races. So it's
like comedy in the eighties. It's like a comedy in three. Edward and O'Leary tried to come
back in 1885. They set up a rematch tour that was sponsored by the temperates movement.
I mean, how does look if you're gonna walk do it for not alcohol? How does that even
what are you talking about? Only walking would be sponsored by not doing something. The plan
was to race in venues that didn't serve alcohol. Well, that's gonna get pretty fucking boring.
But the two men did not get along. From the New York Times, quote, Weston sang snatches
of songs in a cracked and uncertain tone of voice. And then O'Leary yelled, shut up,
you jumping jack across the rink. See, now I'm starting to feel interested in walking.
I like how he wasn't a good singer. She's a grand old flag. She's a high flying flag.
Shut up, you jumping jack. On the final day, less than a hundred people came out to watch
the OGs of walking. Well, but the tour went on. After about six weeks of the temperance
tour, O'Leary was said to be acting erratically. Oh, boy. Rumors started that he was drinking
heavily. I mean, it's so you have it all. Save it till after perfect. In Erie, Pennsylvania,
O'Leary pushed Edward off the track twice. Twice. Twice. The crowd hissed, but Edward
asked them to forgive O'Leary. Forgive him. Quote on account of his condition. Wow. What
a good guy. Come on, you guys. He's drunk. He's drunk. Enjoy the temperance race. Yeah.
That's amazing. Two months into the tour, O'Leary collapsed on the track completely
shitfaced. Is this when the sport of sleeping started? We're gonna have a sleep off. O'Leary
kept walking alone on the track for four days until he completed 2500 miles and to collect
his profits. At the end of the match, Edward announced to the crowd that he was retiring.
In 1889 today, I consider myself self self the luckiest Walker Walker Walker on the face
of the planet. That's why today, I'm retiring from walking. How are you going to get out
of here? I'll run run run. Fuck you. You stop. Running is for losers. You'll see running running.
In 1889, New York's main pedestrian venue was demolished and a new arena was built just
for bike races in its place. Okay. Now that was the, what's their main arena in New York?
Madison Square Garden. Yeah. It was really called Gilmore Garden and that's where all
the water races took place. Jesus. And then they knocked it down and they built a new
garden. The first bike race was six days. Okay. In if there are tons of crashes, it was
a total fucking night, right? Because guys retired. Yeah, bikes. In 1899, New York passed
a bill banning contests of skill, speed or endurance that lasted for more than 24 hours.
Such a weird ban. In 1906, Dan O'Leary was back to selling books. Wow. He had lost all
the money he won from walking. Wow. Fuck. I don't know. So much money he made. So much
money from walking that same year. Edward Weston now 67 years old walked over 90 miles
from Philadelphia to Newark in under 24 hours. The next year he walked the one that put him
on the map in the first place from Portland, Maine to Chicago. And he did it faster than
he did it the first time. Wow. He did it in 25 days, still taking Sundays off. He was
cheered on by people in the towns he passed through. As usual, Edward had no money when
they got to Chicago. He blamed his agent. His agent? What? He blamed his agent? Yeah.
Marty, listen. Hey, kid, can I talk to you? Yeah. Man, kid, you can walk. You can really
walk. Thanks. You want to, uh, you need some representation? I'd like to take you out.
You got to walk like I haven't seen a stride like that in a while. Oh, boy, mister. I mean,
I'd love to walk professionally. Oh, you'd love to. You're gonna. And then now you together
a team, me sitting around, you walking? Yeah. Yeah, it seems fair. Yeah. And then now,
now he doesn't have any money. Now his agent's like, look, nobody's calling anymore. Look,
people don't care about walks. Sorry, people. I guess people woke up from what we'll call
the walk coma. All my guys are bike riders. Everybody's biking. Oh, boy. So, uh, he has
no money. He plans his agent. Finally, someone put together a benefit to raise money so he
could get back to New York. Wow.
O'Leary must have seen all this because of the mighty of walking in 1907. He decided
to walk 1000 miles in 100 consecutive hours, which he did. Jesus. A newspaper called it
the crowning effort of his long career. Of course, O'Leary didn't couldn't stop. And
he challenged Edward to a six day walking contest. Edward said no. Okay, smart. At the
age of 70 in 1909, Edward walked 4000 miles across the country from New York to San Francisco
at 70. Why? Because he loves it. Good. He doesn't know what else to do. I mean, just walking.
Is it just walking? Yes. Yes, it is. It took him 105 days. No Sundays. Jesus. In 1913,
he walked 1546 miles from New York to Minneapolis. Then in 1922, at the age of 84, Edward said
he was making his last walk and pulled off a night a 495 mile walk from Buffalo to New
York City. Wow. 84. I said, right? No. 84. 84 years old. He walked 4495 miles. God. Five
years later, March 1927, Edward Weston was found wandering the streets of Greenwich Village
dazed and destitute. At that point, he was divorced and no longer in touch with his children.
He lived with a woman named Annie O'Hagan. He would introduce her to people as his niece
or his secretary or his adoptive daughter or his housekeeper. Good consistency matters
and lies. That month, he was hit by a taxi while crossing the street. He would never
walk again. He died two years later. You're telling me that he got paralyzed and couldn't
walk? Yes. This has got to be bullshit. He, he, I can't, I mean, it's just, it's all
so insane, but it, the idea that this, this all he had was walking. God, you know what?
I know I'm old, but at least I can still walk. So what is there now going to be a wheelchair
race? No, he, he died two years later. And before he, too much before he died, he, he
turned 90 and he said, this is the bitterest day of my life. Oh God. So he went well. Okay,
what about your candles, grandpa? Oh, Larry, meanwhile, became a baseball pedestrian. Do
I need to ask? Putting on walking exhibitions before major and minor league games in ball
parks. After his exhibition, he would go into the crowd with his hat out and ask for change.
Oh God. Jesus. Walking doesn't pay. Oh, it does. Somehow. On May 30th, 1933, a leery
died in a hotel in Glendale, California. He was 87. One obituary said, quote, he liked
the grog. He liked the grog. Holy shit. Well, I'll tell you, it sounds like walking is pretty
good for you. Both lived on almost, they both lived almost 90. Look, God, that is insanity.
What the fuck was wrong with this country? Walking, walking. People paid money and sat
for hours, slept there, watching people walking circles for days. It makes you like, like
they would watch cricket and be like, this is amazing. You'd like to think that before
television came around, people were sitting around just having stimulating intellectual
conversations. No, no. They were watching guys walking circles, walking in circles.
And yelling at them. By the way, if you're at the show where they, where he pushes him
off the walking track twice, wasted, that is, that is worth it. But that's not walking.
And do you know how many people said they were at that one and weren't at that one?
And it's like the ice bowl of walking events. Yes, it is. There's like 400,000 people like,
I was there. Only said 80. Well, that's, that's some crazy shit. America. God, God, walking.
I love how through what an hour you never stop saying it's walking, Dave, I'll never
stop saying it's walking. You know why? Because it's walking. They were walking. Everything
you're saying makes sense, except for the activity. All the lifestyle, the ups and
the downs, the talent, the showmanship, the crowd fanfare, all that makes sense. But when
you tell me what it's for, I can't process it. Let me put this, this out there too.
There's no way there weren't walking groupies. Oh God. Fucking these guys. Oh God. You looked
great out there walking tonight, Edward. Yeah. Christ. I mean, there's no way that wasn't
a thing. Of course not. No, they were totally, yeah, of course. Yeah. They were, yeah, absolutely.
There were absolutely women lining up to probably bang these guys. Yeah. For doing what you
do after you crawl. It's not even our best form of foot transportation.
Oh, fuck. All right. All right. We're signing cars. We are signing cars. Jesus.