The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 198 - Henry Tufts
Episode Date: August 12, 2016Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine one of colonial America's first habitual criminals, Henry TuftsSOURCESTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH...
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Uh... all good? I'm ready when you are David. You're listening to the dollop. This
is a bi-weekly American History podcast. Each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story
from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the
topic is going to be about. Well it's gonna be about American History. Yes. Boom!
Oh me a Coke. Oh me some cocaine. What's happening? You cop? Can you have it to your
pockets please? You are a cop. Yeah, I'm a cop. This whole thing has been a
sting. I don't have cocaine on me. Almost 200 episodes. You're good. All of it.
You're like sting. You're Donnie Brasco of podcasting. Donnie broadcast.
Okay. God, do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny.
Not Gary Gareth. Dave, okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun?
And this is not going to come to tickle you quite good. Okay. You are Queen Fakie of
Haight-Up Town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go
to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi, Gary. No. I see Doug, my friend. No. This is the
kind of stuff I don't need on the... You don't like this part? No. This is not
helpful. June 24th, 1748. Okay. I'm not... AD. I figured. Even I figured. You don't know?
I figured. You don't know. Okay. Henry Tufts was born in New Market, New Hampshire. His
father was a tailor. Okay. Right away. We know the guys from top, top, top quality people.
Sure. Yeah. Inseamers. He grew up in a town close by called Lee. All seemed normal until
he hit the age of 14. Well, that's for most boys. That's when he, quote, exhibited numerous
indications of a natural propensity to theft. Okay. Weird. So that's what... That's his
adolescence? Yeah. At some point they were like, well, this kid shows all of the clear
signs of being... His palms started itching in places they didn't before. I gotta touch that.
I gotta take that. I gotta put that in my pocket. Yeah. I gotta put that in my pocket. Oh, yeah.
What's going on with you? Nothing. I'm just reading. What's going on with you? Nothing.
Why? Put these up in your pocket. Oh, God. These towels feel so good. Oh, everything I
touch. I want to take. Everything I touch. I want to take. I want this gum inside me.
Henry stole... My pockets, I mean. What? And other... I'm reading. Okay. You're... I completely...
Am I not in the bathroom? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Henry stole apples, pears, cucumbers,
and other fruits. I like that. Look, you gotta stay healthy. I like that. He's a juicer. Sounds
like he's juicing. He's totally juicing. You have a Vitamix? What's his deal? And he was
successful, which just spurred him to steal more. Sure. The Aladdin complex. That's what I'm...
How much that stopped you. You were willing to agree until you got halfway through it.
I despise it. At some point, it didn't make any sense. Aladdin. You gotta keep one jump
ahead of the bread line. One swing ahead of my sword. I steal only what I can't afford.
That's everything. That's racist. No, that's Disney. Are you saying that Arab steal? I'm
saying that a la... I'm done. I'm checking out in this one. No more comments here. So one day,
he was walking through a farmer's field when he saw a sickle. Okay. Yeah, who doesn't? I mean,
sickles are... Sure. Yeah, they're being tossed around everywhere. Yeah. He grabbed it. One of
the weirder tools. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Also used by a gentleman named Def. Right. Yep. So weird
connotations, associations. Wait, did Def use a sickle? Doesn't he have a sickle? I thought he
had a... Does he not have a sickle? I don't think he has a sickle. I think he has like a fucking...
He's got that... He's got like a tall blade. Oh, you're right. He doesn't have a sickle. Yeah,
he could easily in his coat. I mean, nobody knows it's under there. Right. Never mind. I was wrong
about Def. That's okay. Well... I apologize. A lot of people have said that. Hey, Def, I didn't mean
it. I know who you are. I know the stuff you carry. I'll see you soon, Anthony. Show you a sickle, bitch. The worst ever you ever made. He's gonna shout your
death date at you. God, that would be horrible. June 20th, 2051. What? I don't know when you're going. That's
pretty good, right? So he grabs the sickle and then he hides it in some nearby bushes and then just
keeps walking. So he's framing the bush for theft. Yeah, he's up to no good. Yeah. So he sees something
instead of taking it. But I guess you can't walk down the street with a sickle back then. Tough thing to justify.
No, it's my sickle. Nobody else's. I found this. Well, you just hold two of them and you're like,
it's a bicycle. I did see a guy when I left your house the other day, a guy riding as fast as he
could holding a second bike, which is just a beautiful LA moment. My neighborhood. We should have tripwires in my
neighborhood just to knock the hipsters over, hipwires. So he hides it in the bushes and then the owner
realized the sickle was missing and he immediately thought of Henry, who he had seen walking by the
farm. Okay, interesting tactic. He was furious and he stormed over to the Tufts house and confronted
Henry's father, accusing Henry of stealing his sickle. Okay. These are just good times. Yeah.
Henry, of course, denied it. And everyone argued for some time. But in the end, there was no proof.
And eventually the farmer left and Henry walked away with no punishment. See, theft can be a
pretty vicious sickle. Okay. He then waited a year and went and got the sickle out of the bushes. What? The slow
play. The fucking crazy slow. He sat on that shit. He sat on it. He bussed a sickle for a year for so long.
Yeah, pining in his bed. That's what we call patient. That's what we call patients here on the
dollar. Bushing a sickle. Oh yeah. Bush sickling. You know what? Why don't you just bush your sickle
for a little bit? Hey, you know, you're coming off a little spicy. Can you just push the sickle for me?
Hey, guys, guys, separate. Bush your sickles, your best friends.
Look, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna push a sickle here for a little while. Smart, dude.
Just give me just give me a few moments. I'll push my sickle too. Okay. So yeah, so a year and then he
sells it. At that point, no one's even thinking about it. And plus now it's probably kind of a
shitty rusty sickle. But anyway, he sells it. Okay. I mean, this is this kid's sure it's not a
fucking joke. Maybe a mastermind. Perhaps. Henry's next crime, he committed with partners. He and two
friends came up with a plan to rip off some cheese and a loaf of bread from a farmer named Stevens.
Do you need three brains for that? I would just assume it's really that's probably worse. Look,
it's a different time. Right? Yeah, it's the 17 we need numbers. It's the 1700s. So you're the stuff
you're stealing is mostly apparently food items. Yeah. And then and then most people are probably
watching over their food pretty good. Right. So you probably need conspirators. Okay. So all right,
let me see their plan and then I'll evaluate after they were done. Let me push my sickle for a minute.
They planned after they were done with that amazing crime. Should they go to the farmer's fields and
take his cucumbers? Wait, the plan is just right. Go ahead. Do they know about grocery stores? Their
plan is to take the bread and cheese, bread and cheese first, and then go get cucumbers. Okay.
And they're going to do this to in tandem. They're all three of them will be going together. It's a
three man plot. Okay. It's like holding up a bank. Okay, gotcha. So this is going to be quite the
caper, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Imagine when they go steal the capers. It's on their way over one of
the other kids chickened out and said they could just go to his house and get bread and cheese from
his dad. Great, great solution. Can't wait for this one to wrap up right now. But Henry and the
other guy were apparently in it for the rush of the crime because they went to the farmer's field
and stole as many cucumbers as they could hold. Okay, right. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of cucumbers.
Eight. Probably near there. So then all the guys met up again. They met up with the guy who chickened
out and they had their cucumbers and he brought the bread and cheese he got from his dad. Okay,
so he stole it from home and they stole the farmer's cucumbers. Or he just asked his dad and
said, yeah, yeah, we got tons of bread and cheese. For sure. We got a bunch of cucumbers too. We're
bread and cheese family. But but then Henry came up with a new plan, which was to steal from his
partners. Ah, the inception plot as they were all sitting there enjoying their. I don't know what
do you call it? Just deserts. They're loot. He picked up a small rock and threw it at one of the
guys backs. And that guy jumped up freaked out yelling, they're coming, they're coming for us.
And then they all ran off all three of them sprinted off leaving the bread and the cheese and
the Henry to Henry to and the cucumbers. And they all ran to their different houses. And then
Henry doubled back. I was going to set up for a minute. I thought he was like, they are. Yeah,
now he Henry himself. Yeah. Oh man, I can't believe they're shooting at you. And he grabbed all the
food and he hid it somewhere else. Okay, sure. He sickled it. The next day, Henry explained to
his friends that he had been captured by the farmer. And the farmer was now forcing him to
work three days to make up for it. Okay. Then his partners, the other two kids said that they in
turn would work for Henry for one day to share in their part of the crime. Okay, like work for him
just as like an assistant. Yeah, obviously. Okay, that's yeah, I mean, I guess that's a part of the
story I couldn't understand because he's a boy. He's a teenager. But he so he got so they were
going to work fairly in these fields, his dad's crops or some sort of he couldn't have them go
pull like a day for the farmer because that's all bullshit. So he's just like, right, putting them
out for like, he so he had them do he made them day labor. So yeah, he made them day labor. Right.
And he got all the cucumbers in the bread. And I told you he's a mastermind. It's great. I don't
think I don't think this is exaggeration when I say this was a simpler time. Yeah, yep. Yeah. So
the great cucumber heist, Henry, never forgotten, never forgotten. No. So Henry was clearly a bad
boy and could not be trusted. Right. So when he turned 20, he asked his father for a bit of his
inheritance. Interesting. I gotta do that. He said it was time for him to strike out on his own.
Okay. And his father said no. Interesting. And he told Henry that there was no inheritance,
that he planned on giving everything to Henry's oldest brother and everything was just their
family home, their land. Okay. And Henry was devastated. Because his whole idea was to take
his inheritance, which didn't exist in right off into the sunset. Right. In actuality, all his
father had was a tiny plot of land and he figured if he split it up between all the kids, then all
the peace would be worthless. Right. Yeah. Because they're so small. So just give it to one. Yeah.
Yeah. Henry's livid. It took it very hard. He had no education and didn't see any future for
himself without an inheritance. I'm shocked about this education bit. It seems like he's highly
educated. Henry wrote quote, it is written as to said in the Hebrew annuals that the man who gave
his neither property education nor trade brought him up to be a thief. The truth of this was verified
in me. So he's blaming his dad. Yeah, he's got daddy issues. He's blaming his dad for not giving
him inheritance. Why became a thief? Yeah, well, he didn't give him anything. Well, he just gave
him life. Why didn't he just go out and fucking do it himself? True. So Henry decided to be a
thief. Okay. Which wasn't a big leap since he was already a thief. Oh, yeah. He was like, you know
what? I'm going to be a thief. The thing I've been doing. You know, I'm going to do what I've been
doing. The only day I have a ball announcement like a winner was the day I had bread and cheese
and 19 cucumbers. Yeah. It's like Liberace being like, I'm gay. We know. Yes, we get it. We get it.
You've lived this for 20 years. We get it. At the same time, he thought his father owed him
because of all the work he had done while growing up on the family land. He's really got
entitlement title title title title. So at that point, Henry stole his father's only horse and
rode it to a nearby town where he sold it for $30. Oh my god. Yeah. It's a prick. He's a total
prick. Then he hit the road. Sure. Got to. But it turns out $30 not last that long. Okay. So he
roamed around. He would do different jobs trying to keep things going. But finally, he just ran out
of cash. So with not any other possibilities, he just went back to his dad and gave him what little
money he had left and said, here, I took your horse in here. So here's eight cents. Here's eight
cents. There's no horse. Missed me. I missed you daddy. Missed me. His father was naturally furious
but still took him in. Now, this is when things started looking up. Okay. Henry was 22 and he
met and married a woman named Lydia Bickford, who was from Durham, New Hampshire. Okay. So maybe
he's on the road to a decent life. I doubt it. I highly doubt it. Okay. Yeah, you're right. Very
soon after getting married, Henry's accused of stealing two bags of rye. Are you noticing a
pattern? A very strong pattern. Very strong pattern. He goes, he thinks very short term.
He's not an investor. At no point did he steal cucumber seeds. Okay, but wait. In this case,
he was actually innocent and was acquitted of the charges. So he didn't steal the rye. So he
didn't steal the rye. But in the community, it was just one more black mark against Henry Tufts.
So the boy who cried wolf, the boy, but they were like, look, you're fucking the boy who
cried Q you got away with it, but you clearly stole the rye. Right. You know, so it's like
when they convicted OJ of the stuff in Vegas, they were like, we'll take what we can get.
What did OJ do? He broke a lot of great football records. Thank you.
So in the local community, he's now just the fucking right menace, right? Combined with his
previous crimes, his reputation is destroyed. He cannot get any credit anywhere. And his young
family went into poverty. He has kids. Yeah, now he's had a popped out a couple or whatever. Oh,
boy, I didn't actually look up. But I remember reading yet kids, right? But they I didn't, whatever.
Yeah, okay. Obviously, this is a shit situation. And Henry Tufts being Henry Tufts, decided he'd
be much better off if he just took off on his own to start anew without the whole family being a
burden thing. Okay, it feels again, it feels like he thinks very quickly. Very short term thinker.
He's he's making you know what he's going. This is a guy who's been led by his heart, right? I
don't know if that's true. But if he's being he's he's he's doing he lives in the moment might be
selfish. This is that they say live in the moment to feel free and to be happy might be self focused.
He's living in the moment. I don't know. At this moment, after he closed the door, he no longer
had a family. Right, right. True. That's the moment he's living right. Yeah. So I guess a lot of
people just didn't know that was an option. You could just leave. I'm done. Well, back then you
could literally just fucking walk out. I'm out of here. Goodbye. No, you were again. So I've been
thinking I'm done. It was great to meet you. And have a good life, Hank. Have a good have a fun time
with the little ones. Good luck. Whoever whoever they are. They seem crazy. There's a cucumber in
the bush. Take care. There's a cute. Ta ta. In the bush. That's what got him into this child problem
in the first place. So so off he goes he heads east and he finds himself in sicko main, where he
got a job clearing land and tending livestock. Right. All good. Well yeah. I'm just gonna start
all over again. I don't know if all good to be sweet. I don't know. He seems to be around stuff.
Which is a problem job. Yeah, but he's it's where he's on land, which is an issue
He's working with a guy named James Dennis
Okay, and they became friends and Henry explained to him about he was how he was unable to support his family the one
He had abandoned I just left him. I don't know if he told him that part. I put him in a bush and I'm gonna come back in a year
When I'm good with them again
so
Dennis came up with this perfect way to get out of the situation. I can't wait. They were rob a store
Okay, I mean dare. I say I think this is smarter
They're then stealing food. Well, then just like nickel and like go for a score. Okay. All right
You know what I mean shoot a three. Yeah, go higher. Yeah, I get it
So the store was owned by mr. Pickard and was in the same town they worked in so it's a great plan
It's a great plan. Henry said he's in sure no questions
But this is a pretty big jump from his previous crimes, right? He's really stepping up. Yeah
He's used to stealing tools and vegetables that he can carry right. This is a move a sickler cucumber sure exactly anything
That starts with a C
Well sickled starts the point is
They broke into the store in the middle of the night Dennis went in while Henry was the lookout guy
That's my favorite thing. It is a great in this time
They they needed a lookout guy, but it's also great to be like well one of us has to just chill
The other has to do it, right? I guess I'll just keep an eye on your crime
I will stay outside while you do the crime. Yeah, you always want to be the getaway driver
But Dennis looked around and couldn't find much cash then he made a couple of bags
For both of them then bring home
So he just packed a couple of bags with a bunch of shit from the store. They're the stuff was worth about 200 bucks
Okay, pretty large some okay, right? So they really they really tore through the store sure
Now after the crime they went to Wells, Maine where a friend of Dennis's lived
Okay, the friend's name is Richard Dutton. All right
They celebrated their score and had a drink or two right so they're partying
Yeah, and the next day Dennis and Dutton went into the town not good
Don't leave him alone some of the hall. Don't leave him alone. What's gonna happen here? Don't leave him alone
But they tried to sell it for way too cheap
Right not good at this people immediately suspected
That the goods had been stolen a local magistrate was called and or told them they didn't have
Uh-huh. Yeah, but a little a local magistrate was alerted and then two the two guys were arrested. Okay, Dennis and
Right leaving Henry immediately squeals great and said he knew about the stolen goods
And that on top of that he said that some of it was still at his house
Where where Henry was telling our hero is yeah
So he's a huge narc. He's like a colonial narc, right, but maybe the first colonial mark, right?
Dennis was the next to fall
He was interrogated admitted to his role in everything and also told them about Henry
So the local magistrate went to Dutton's house to arrest Henry and when they got there
They found Henry in bed having sex with Dutton's wife amazing
putting the cucumber in the bush
Sickle in the bush more like that is amazing. He's a man of all trades
I would imagine police in this time would probably be like let him finish
What you're done, sir, we would like to have a word hurry up pump faster, please
So they arrested him and they threw him in jail at fall mouth
Which today's Portland City of Portland?
He was left in the prison for a couple of months in a cell with Dutton. Oh
Oh now I assume they didn't talk about the wife screwing or
It was the most awkward self. There's no way, but I couldn't find any information about there's no way
Something that happened. No, he was just like cool. She sound yeah
I mean look it sounds like you guys have a good thing going the foundation strong. Yeah. Yeah, that's what matters. Yeah
Yeah, you know pretty great. Also try doggy style. What's that?
It sounds like you guys have a good foundation, right?
And you know, I think you guys have trust and that is so important in a relationship to build upon that trust
And I think she likes it from behind probably which will probably open things up for you a little bit
What yeah in a sort of sexual way. Well, I don't know. I don't we don't need sir
I still call you sir as you should I don't need opening. We don't I our relationship is fantastic
And what I'm saying is I agree with you. I agree with you
Just try it on all fours a couple times see what happens. Why would I because she wants it you can tell I'd love to meet her
Excuse me. You can tell you did meet her. You were at my house. I did didn't I so weird. That's right
Yeah, that's right. That's right when the cops came. I was there with her. Yeah, I was there with her and
Yeah, I don't even God. I just had such a great time talking to
to her and
Yeah, I just like you guys have a great thing and I don't I love it. I think you guys are great. I
Can't believe this is the first day. We're in this jail together. I know give me a long couple of who knows how long we'll be in here
At some point they couldn't take prison anymore, so they decided to escape
Isn't that everyone now?
They lit a fire in their cell. I just missed this era
We were like and it sounds like it would mess stuff up
But well, they assumed that it would burn the wall down
And then they would go out a log cabin jail hole in the
Jail, what is the jail made of wood? I'm sure it's wood back then wood jail
Okay, but the fire had other ideas and it spread very quickly and was soon out of control in the cell part of the thing with fire
Right. It's sort of just can do its own thing. Yeah, but the wall you think it would go wall to wall to wall, right?
And what did it do it went wall to ceiling? It went why it sounds like it went to wall to everything wall to everything interesting
Well, where's move so Henry wall to Henry Henry and Dutton just started screaming at the top of their lungs as
The fire just burned their entire cell by the time they were let out
They had nearly suffocated to death good plan the local authorities then battled the fire for three hours
Finally putting it out, but the jail could no longer hold anyone
So authorities decided to move them to the old York jail
But it was bad timing because Thanksgiving was near. Okay, and with this in mind the authorities put Henry and
and
Dutton under guard with a mister Mowley and his family until after the holiday wait they
what?
They gave
Go ahead
So it's Thanksgiving's coming up. I'm aware so they don't want to take them over to the take that the trip that would probably take the time to
Sure miss Thanksgiving. Yeah, you don't want to miss the cranberries. So they they
They put him in with a guy in town. They said you guys stay with him stay in a man's house
Yeah with his family for Thanksgiving. Well, that's the cool thing is that yeah, he
He they had Thanksgiving at this house. I okay, there's it's a different time. Yeah, it is a different time
It's a terrible plan and not to mention putting them around food
It's just like talk about I mean this is just this is what Henry must have been like. Oh my god
This is a test quote
Here gratitude obliges me to give testimonial to the humanity and benevolence of that gentleman to whom is due my
peculiar thanks for using us
While left in his family as well as I have a sense of fared in any part of America
So he had a nice holiday. Mm-hmm. They had they had a great holiday
Sure, then back to jail once it's over and then the day after they're taken, you know escorted to the old York
Jail well one of it. Okay, because as they're being taken to jail
Let me let me guess got out of his irons and took off. Oh, I was gonna guess Henry booked it. So now that he's escaped
Right, they're gonna take it out on Henry and when they got Henry to the new jail
They put him in heavy irons and locked him in the most secure part of the jail, which is the the basement
And he stayed like that for 19 days
So he's just locked in this terrible place, right then mr. Pickard who owned the store the Henry of Robb
Yeah, came to the jail
And he explained that if Henry agreed to serve on his brother's ship to the West Indies
Hey, I have a crazy proposition. Well, this is when they're Shanghai and dudes, right? Yeah, it wasn't uncommon to
To you know trade a prison term for time on a ship. Okay, right?
So he says that and of course Henry's like yeah, I'll fucking get on your brother sure and go to the West Indies
And then the charges will be dropped. So sure enough
Voyage supposed to be three months. Oh, how long is he supposed to be in jail?
Well, that's just it. He didn't know how long he was gonna be just because he what he hasn't been convicted yet
He's still waiting for his trial. So he's sitting there leg irons and he's like, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it
Let's support it. So he's immediately released and he and mr. Pickard walked off to put Henry on the ship
I can imagine we're wrapping things up right now headed to the ship now Pickard was a
moron
Because he decided as they were walking and he needed a drink and he stopped at a tavern what
And he told Henry to go ahead without him and he catch up
Why doesn't he just tie him to like the horse thing in front?
Henry then made a right instead of a left and that's the last time he ever saw a pick. Well, that is unbelievable
That is a shock you not trust a man's word. How much do you need to drink? You know what?
You promise you promise promise you swear to God you'll go there. I swear to God. I'm going to the ship
Why would I do anything else? That's what I'm saying. Thank you. I mean you got me out of jail
That's why you better not screw me on this. Why would I do that sir? Good wonderful wonderful person turn right? Yes?
to the ship yes
All right. Have a good three months. I see it it all right
Heard something at the end. Nope
Sort of bye
Bye-bye
Right not left
So Henry
Of course goes back to his wife and family his wife. Okay in Lee. Okay
Good news, honey
But once again, he found pretty much everyone in the town thought he was garbage, right? Yeah
His reputation was far worse than when he had left previously because he abandoned his family when he previously left because his reputation was bad
Yeah, so now he's back like hey double worse. Yeah
So the gossip of all of the activity since he left has reached the town and then things got really bad
One night a group of super drunk soldiers were passing by his house
Never a good start and they decided to quote pull his house apart
Now it's a different time pull it apart. Yeah, they're just gonna tear it down find a loose string and yank it
He tried to hold them off by waving his musket, but they kept at it. So he shot
Okay, but nothing came out. Okay, it quote snapped in the pan
But that was enough to scare off the soldiers and they ran away without knocking down his house
God
Now like any quality individual
Henry decided this was another reason not to be saddled with the family and took off again
Right seems like he's not really invested in the family. I mean this but talk about the go the kids are like dad
I love you. I'm back guys. Oh some soldiers try to came by. I know we were scared, but you just got back
I know I love you. I love you. Okay. I'll be outside
forever
Outside's big wait. He's gone. Yeah, I heard him say yeah
As he wrote around the countryside he met a man named James Smith together that seems a little normal name
Together they formed a crime duo. They stole finally hens turkeys sheep and other food from farmers
So they wouldn't starve to death. So they're just stealing living there. I mean live stock. Yeah, okay. That's all there was
That's great though. I'm sure they're a can all right. Let's go grab this sheep and get out of here
They're probably they probably had a
You know when they it's called we like can pairs. It's in a jar with a little top
They probably had that kind of oh, you mean there's I would imagine maybe they didn't but
There had to been I mean, I'm sure they had dried meats and stuff. Yeah, they had some stuff
Right. I just kind of like the idea that they have like a pet for a little while. They had a pet for a little while
Yay, they were able to live like this for quite some time problem was their clothes started to fall apart and they needed other basic necessities
If you're okay. Yeah, you need it's time to make a trip. Thank you. The clothes are falling apart. Thank yeah
They're chipping off of me. That's when you do something different. Yeah
Now one of Smith's friends told him that they could just break into a local store and rob it. He knows that
Since robbing a store at Gunswell for Henry the first time he was in of course and so they did
They broke in through a window that the friend had told them about
Uh-huh, and they took clothes money pieces of silver and other goods that would help them with their new nomadic lifestyle
Okay
They gave a cut of the goods to Smith's friend who had told them about the store and how to get in right
Then they got the hell out of town heading towards Massachusetts. Okay, when they got there they started selling what they had stolen
Okay
But what they did not know was that the two store owners Gilman and Chapman were pretty pissed off and were in pursuit
Oh boy, and they caught up to Henry and Smith in a town and surprised them and they were easily easily able to have them arrested
Right. It turns out Smith's friend
The guy who told him to rob the store and had a rob the store and who had given they'd given a cut to
For not really doing shit. Yeah had gone all snitch and just tipped off the owners about this is before bitches got snitches
Stitches way before right got stitches. Okay
So Henry and Smith were put in jail in Exeter
Because of his reputation Henry was considered a more hardened criminal and was placed in so he's like the Henry is like the
1760s version of
The head of the Mexican Mafia. Yeah, what's his name?
What's the dude's name? He's the best. Yeah, they're just like you will not break god damn it. He's gone gone again
so
I'll chop over so he's put in solitary confinement in a dungeon in the prison
Heavily shackled again both hands and feet which were then attached to the floor. Oh, it's just a nightmare
The home is completely. I mean the home the room is completely dark. He made it a home. He did make it home
And there's I put up a poster and there is like zero interaction. Oh god
I want to put up the poster of the cat that's just hanging there. He's holding on to a brand something motivational
Also, could someone itch my ass, please for the love of God, please
So he's not even convicted yet. This is just waiting for the trial fun
There's a horrible odor in the room along with rats that bit at his toes. Sure hardly any decent food
Oh, that I mean that really rats. Yeah, that's a tough one for me to think of the rat rats biting your toes and only
And just having to be like go to your happy place, Henry
So do your happy place just remember when you stole the sickle Henry go back there
Just pretend those rights are eating your cheese foot think about the cucumbers and me mother rats like
Mm-hmm. Hey guys, I don't think this dude can do shit. No, no, no, just okay sickle in a bush
So he's having a hard time sleeping. Why he was left like that for three months
Yeah, at which point he was brought into the courtroom for his trial and the two men were very quickly found guilty
They both got 35 lashes. Okay, it should be done by another prisoner. That's how they did it back then
Oh, so it was sort of like a equally angry, right?
So you've got to impress you've got like it's almost like you're you're a good prisoner if you lash them well
Yeah, I assume so yeah some sort of
They were ordered to pay restitution if they could not pay the restitution
They would then be sold into servitude. Oh shit. It's fucked up. Jesus. She's fucked up
Meanwhile slaves are like and
What else?
So they both got 31 days in prison
But this time Henry's put into a regular cell for his run, okay, so that's not too bad, right?
But said Henry didn't like prison
He showed about Henry so instead of waiting the entire month. He decided to escape good
Get the fire
Somehow he got friends to smuggle him in tools
I mean obviously hot dogs and birthday cakes. That's what I'm talking about. It's his birthday again. Yep four days in a row
That's right
Happy birthday. Here you go Henry. This one is shaped like a sludge hammer. I know he loves tools loves tools. Oh my god
What do you guys use for batter so Henry used
Henry drilled a hole in the wall now Smith was in the cell so some serious tools
Yeah, Smith is in the cell directly beneath Henry and he asked Henry if he could you know take him on the escape, right?
And Henry agreed
So the next night in the middle of the night Henry told Smith
That to get out they would have to take off all their clothes. Oh turn them inside. I've fallen for this one and toss them out the window
Um what?
Okay
Oh
Why they did it and then Henry crawled through the hole he had made picked up his clothes and Smith's clothes and ran away
Hey Henry those are actually my shorts Henry those are much Henry Henry. Oh, this is gonna look bad. I feel like it's gonna be some explaining
Why am I naked? Hi, can I tell you a crazy story? Oh, it's just have you heard of jail clothes fairies? So
They're around my clothes
That's hot. It's hot. It's hot and I decided
To take off all my clothes because I was hot like I said before yeah
Yeah, through them down to the ground
Say what's in Henry?
I'm cold
I'm called now
Once again, Henry's on the move this time. He ended up in Portsmouth, but couldn't get a prick couldn't get anything
Why didn't he just say no now you can't come with me just fucking amazing?
Well, remember the last place they robbed they robbed because they needed clothes, right?
He's now thinking at all just get some extra clothes
But I
Really that dude left behind was like it's gonna be really weird dude. Don't do this
So he headed for a town called Stratham and in the middle of the night he's walking and he gets really hungry
Eat the clothes and for every reason he assumed
Fruit was being stored on someone's property close by in a root cellar. He saw this thing and he thought that's a root cellar
There's got to be fruit in there, right? That's what happens at root. He thought it was a fruit cellar. We'll root fruit roots
Huh fruit roots. Oh, I love fruit lives. So he felt around in the dark
He broke in he felt around the dark and found a box and then he found another box
And at some point in the pitch black he realized that they were coffins and then he'd broken into a crypt instead of a root cellar
Get out
Uh, no, yeah inside. There's actually a grandmother and her daughter. He was
Terrified but he got the hell out of there. Okay, good. I thought we were maybe gonna take a weird turn where he's like, maybe I'll just grab an arm
Yeah, so since things didn't seem to be going great on his own he partnered up with another criminal
Mastermind cool Ebenezer Hubbard. Thank you. This this was not the best. Thank you. I'm duo's. Thank you
They weren't having any success trying to steal things. So finally Henry was like I'm going my own way
This isn't fucking working and Hubbard talked him into one last
One last near miss
They were gonna break into a mill and steal some milled cloth. It'll be the last caper and they did it
Okay, they fucking did it but as soon as the crime was discovered authorities immediately thought Henry Henry and Hubbard, right
They were brought in in question and in no time as you would expect Hubbard immediately
Caved it spilled the beach sure. Yep snitched. Yep told them everything great
Henry was brought back to Henry needs a better vetting process. It's just a fucking cheese not good
So Henry's brought back to Exeter jail. He was given 20 lashes and locked up for 20 days
He was also ordered to pay back the victim the rats were like good news
Boys guess who's back in town. Hey to friend. Mmm. I'm numb numb numb numb
So he's already payback convenient victim, but he has no money, which meant he would be put into servitude
Okay, but lucky for him
No one came forward to claim his servitude which meant he was allowed to leave like no one bit
No one everyone's like I don't want that guy. He looks shitty and like he's not good at stuff
Once out of jail he went right back to burglary perfect
He got burglary tools like auger saws and false keys and these he put he put the tools in different locations around town
Sure, this way various pushes. He would have quick access to them when he needed them, right?
And he was very very very proud of his false keys quote. What are those?
I don't know just when judiciously fashioned are of such extensive application
That one key will fit a great variety of locks. Okay, I am positive that with this assortment of keys
I could have opened without violence almost any lock
I ever saw this I am assured by experience, which is indeed the touchstone of truth
It's just adorable that there was a time when we were like we have eight types of keys be honest, right? Yeah, that's what it was
Yeah
Henry also got his hands on
Corrosive liquids that could eat through iron
So he's in business. Yeah, he's fucking but then Henry
He had to deal with what he called a serious of false accusations against him for the crime of burglary
Mm-hmm one of which landed him in Castle Island in Boston Harbor first Bell Castle Island
Now where he man lives a prison. Yes
He did his time and he got out and then immediately resumed his life of crime great
Then it's like he's going to always go back to crime. It doesn't I don't think yeah
There's not a lot of reforming right. I mean his dad didn't hug him like he said
Then in 1793 when he was living in Massachusetts, Henry bought a silver
Table spoon and five teaspoons from a man named James John Stuart. Oh, not that one. Oh
Stuart said he found them when he was clearing a cellar
Okay
How do you was using the spoons one day when a neighbor?
recognized them
Okay, I'm gonna repeat that
Henry was using his spoons and a name when someone recognized the spoon sure someone right now. I know those spoons
I've seen those spoons. He's those spoons. I've been stolen from him. Okay. He reported Henry to the authorities in
Court Henry explained how he had bought the spoons. I bought these spoons exactly what he did
Stuart was then brought in for questioning. Oh, they were gonna get to the bottom of the spoon caper
They were just starting to question Stuart when he just got up and ran out of the courtroom and was gone
I a lot of people don't know that's an option
But it is your legal right that if you are able to run out of the courtroom without being touched
You are you are legally allowed to leave the courtroom. He was never seen again. Again. I mean just talk about
Can you repeat the
Now it's believed that Stuart had helped from the sheriff who hated Henry anyway and now
Henry had no witness
About legally buying the spoons, right and Henry was committed to Salem jail to wait trial by the Supreme Court
The child did try to not go a spoon trial. Yes
Okay, without Stuart telling the court the Supreme Court used to not have a lot to do the they were dealing with
Much smaller crimes, but very important to certain people spoons
Well, the spoon community was up in arms. Obviously as they should be as they should I mean the spoon union the association of spoons
The spoon you the spoonion was over the I mean they were over the spoon about this
So without we are the spoonion
We are here for justice, sir. We want medical and we want to know what our spoons are
We are the association of spoons
Ah, yes, we're also very interested in spoons. We have medical if you need for German
Spoon people, but the most of all we want justice
So he was convicted of burglary over spoons that he bought of spoons
The judge gave Henry a sentence of death. Oh my god
Well back then burglary was you could be killed for that
I'm not crazy for freaking out when you say a man's dying for spoons
Quote spoons. He must be carried from thence to the place of execution and they're hanged by the neck Intel dead
The execution date was set for six weeks
On August 14th 1793. So Henry sat in a cell in heavy chains waiting to die
Over spoons he bought then one jurist who had been a holdout at first
Start have second thoughts about sending a man to death for stealing spoons
Mm-hmm. He had originally voted not guilty, but the other jurist had convinced him to switch
Mm-hmm. So the jurist went to the governor and
The council and expressed his regret and his true belief
He begged them to show Henry mercy at the same time Henry asked the governor to change
his sentence
To life in prison from death. Mm-hmm knock it down from five spoons to three. He yes, right?
He asked others he knew to sign a petition asking the court to do the same sure a spoon petition
Spanishin spinachin
And then one day a doctor came to visit Henry, uh-huh quote
Who accosted me with an affability and good nature not always to be expected from a stranger?
So this guy shows up. He's being super nice sure
And they talked for a while and then the doctor explained why he was there
He wanted Henry's skeleton. Oh God and offered a couple of guineas and other favors for it
Oh, that's it takes an awkward because it's a doctor because that was the time with doctors bodies
But apparently they were also going to the guys who are about to be killed me like I have your stuff
It has been great to sit down and talk to you Henry you seem like a very sort of bright individual
I just I'm really taken
anyway, um
To the point of my visit. Yeah
I'm willing to pay you guineas
for your
Skeleton
Yeah, who's who what I'm gonna buy your some want to buy your skeleton. Oh, no
I'm using for now, but you won't soon and when you don't want to come on
No, don't be weird. Oh, don't be weird about this. You're fucking creep. I'm not Henry Henry
Are you enjoying your tea? Yeah, it's good. Isn't it? Yeah, it's English
Imported only the best. Yeah
now
No, when your skin's off I
Want the bones. I'm trying not to think about I want the bones. Jesus. Give me the bones out of here. Don't be weird
Another guy came and offered Henry $75
For a license to publish Henry's life story
Okay, you know, this is the
Colonies the two offers your fielding. This is like this is like the colonies version of Main Street, right?
Henry said he wasn't in the best mindset to provide a narration of his life
I'm kind of in a weird headspace because I'm gonna die and doctors are trying to buy my bones
Yeah, things are weird here. It's not normal right now
The guy said he already knew enough about him to write up his story
Henry obviously didn't need money since he was going to die. So he said he'd think about it and get back to him
Henry that spoke to someone else and he turned down the book offer and held on to ownership of his life story
Coming very handy when he's dead. You don't know what's gonna happen, which he started writing
Okay, from which a lot of this information came for sure. Okay
Then a month before Henry's to be killed an order came to transfer him to
Castle Island in Boston Harbor. Okay, where he was to be confined for life. Oh, better better
So they switched it up. The petition and the rogue jurist had worked
All for spoons that he didn't. Mm-hmm steal. Mm-hmm. Although
Historical records might not back up the claims of Henry that it was just about the spoons
hmm
During the tiny was arrested for stealing the spoons. Henry had been using the burglary tools to burgle
He had been breaking into businesses and houses and had also been accused of passing counterfeit currency a few of which he was arrested for
So while he said he was innocent of stealing the spoons
He was looking at multiple counts of theft and they were said to be dozens of witnesses ready to testify against him
So the conviction of the spoons was just like look you're fucked. Yeah, we've got you on something
It's like when they put away. Yeah, they would like now capone for like something stupid, right? Yeah
Burglary was a capital crime, but it was only used for repeat offenders, which he certainly would have been
If convicted of the other charges and also all the charges here, right? Yeah
And he was at this point considered beyond reform as much as he repeatedly said he was imprisoned for life because of spoons
He didn't steal. He was actually in for spoons. I stole spoons, which I didn't steal spoons
I'm in a city stealing spoon. I stole spoons
After receiving his reprieve Henry's committed to
Castle on a Boston Harbor
Was this selly in there for like ladle theft he
He described he described in details new setting. I'm in for pie cutters
The castle was a strong fortress at the entrance into the harbor's mouth a company of soldiers was stationed there to guard the criminals
Convicts were employed in making nails
Mm-hmm, and would be beaten for being too slow
Okay, they didn't make their nails fast sounds fun
The prisoners were always lying cheating fighting and stealing from each other, right at the end of each day
Henry would sleep on the prison floor with a tattered rug or blanket for warmth
The food contained quote Bollocks heads
Bollocks heads. I gotta be bugs, right? Oh god. I meant to look it up, but then Bollocks heads
It's one of those things you can't really find
And he had difficult he had difficult times swallowing the food. Oh, then can I have a spoon?
No
Love spoon when Henry when every broke his arm one day. No doctor came to help him. So he just let it heal as it was
Sure, that's always actually a fair policy. Just let it set itself. Yeah, those always turn out normal. It'll fix itself
Yep, but a summer of 1794 Henry had gained the trust of the guards
He was able to move freely around the island and on the 4th of July. Oh boy
He casually walked to the edge of the sun of a bitch whistling. I assume of course
Covered his head one t-rexed arm covered his head with grass
Go ahead tried to swim away
So people be like, what is that grass there? Look at that divot floating. There seems to be grass in the ocean
Oh boy, but he was a mini island that he was seen by a soldier in a tower
Getting into the water and they went and pulled him out awkward
It's hey
Hey, hi, what's up? Have you seen my new to pay? I was um, I
Was I like water. Can I ask you guys a question about the rules?
Am I allowed to swim out here if I have grass on my head? I felt like I was able to take a couple laps
I saw that in the room. I thought in somewhere someone said something, but I I forgot to get the okay
Yeah, but I thought it was okay. Anyway, you know, it isn't it isn't okay. Jerry said this was okay
Now that I know that it isn't okay
I I'm not gonna happen again
In 1798 the island was
Transferred from the state to the federal government the convicts were moved and Henry found himself in the Salem jail
He quickly found a problem with the wall of his cell and escaped beautiful
He went back to his hometown of Lee and there found his family had no domain. No, no, Henry. No, no
He tracked them down. No and was taken back in and
promised he would never steal again
she she
The family took him back in love is strong. His kid was like, what is your deal?
I'm really damaged now. Daddy. I have a question. Are you fucking kidding me? No, son
He learned that one of his old partners James Dennis had died while trying to escape from prison
He had chains on his arms and legs and jumped into a river only to discover
He couldn't swim with chains on his arms and legs
Hmm. That's you learn you get to learn that once. Yep
in Maine Henry Tufts wrote and releases autobiography in which
Called fuck you everyone said he was retired from his life of crime and that was the last anyone heard of
Henry Tufts, how do you publish a book because he's still on the lamb?
Yeah, but you can publish it. You can still publish a book. That's like hey, hey, hey. Yeah, why not?
I mean, I think that he didn't say where he was probably so they just and
So he just was all said it was out there as a book the government must have been like, god damn it
Or they didn't fucking care at that point. They're like just get the fuck out of here, dude. Stop
You such a tough stop. You're the worst
Tufts
That's where such a Tufts came from. Ah, and is that what Tufts University is named after exactly what I thought so
I thought it might be
Story of Henry Tufts listen. I like his diet
You know
Life was different. Are you sure? It's all I'm gonna say, okay
Crime was clearly different. We've we've improved our crime sure. Oh, yeah, we've done this one
We've done wonders much better much better than Bush sickling. Yeah
Okay, so cars. Oh we sign
Carrots hmm. We signed carrots interesting
You're just vamping now so you can plug it in because we don't have an end yet. No, that's the end. Oh, it's done. Yeah, okay
Like
Oh, yeah, that was an hour