The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 258 - Bill the Butcher and John Morrissey (Live in NYC)

Episode Date: April 17, 2017

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Virgil Texas and Matt Christman of the Chapo Trap House podcast.  SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH...

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Starting point is 00:00:52 have our sit-down conversation. Thank you for the Gareth chant one person and that is a movement shut up sir. That lady is a kid to us. Yeah no she's an inaccuracy. How are you on the balcony? The Lincolns. Thank you for coming out. Yes thank you. I know you guys drove a long ways. Yes we know you drove far. Ladies and gentlemen we have two guests. I added another one. I don't know if you know Mr. Woody Allen but our guests are Woody Allen and Bill Cosby. Yeah so this is how we drink tonight. These guys do a podcast that I love. Some of you probably get mad at them because they say they're controversial but I love
Starting point is 00:02:05 their podcast it's called Chopo Trap House which is based on your favorite rappers. Yeah you know that? Yeah. It's his favorite. He loves a heavy mic or whatever his name is. Killer mic. Yep. And he's losing weight asshole. Is he? Yeah he's at the gym all the time. He's crushing it. How do you know he's at the gym all the time? You're good though? Okay. So Matt Kershman and Virgil Texas bring them out. They're hilarious. From Chopo Trap House. I talked about one of your one of the episodes of the podcast and I said you really got to listen to this one because there's a guy who's in Syria fighting but he's from Brooklyn or
Starting point is 00:03:01 something and and I said you guys have listened to this and like 30 people sent me messages like I don't know what name you were saying. I slowed it down chop oh chop chop. So I ended up getting a salad. Yeah I don't take any credit for that. I don't really understand modern hip-hop. If it were up to me the podcast would have been called Young M.C.'s Fresh House probably. I keep it at 1600 was taken. Anyway watch watch their podcast. Right? No I don't think that's the right. Pretty sure. I got something right here. Yeah. Do we want to say? Do you want me? Oh we
Starting point is 00:03:50 got to say a thing. Oh yeah. Oh fuck you guys almost fucked it up. Earless. I'm not good at this. Free bird. No sit. We're not we don't do it. It's not like a pledge of allegiance. Say that. Take off your hat. I will do whatever you say to do. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Absurdity coming out next month. I mean come on. May night to be specific but who's counting. Ladies and gentlemen you're listening to the dollop. This is a bi-weekly American History podcast each week. I, Dave Anthony, comedian, actor, writer, husband. Oh my god. Cousin. Cousin? Where's everyone's a fucking cousin? Dave? Stepbrother? X? X stepbrother? You saying your name again in the intro? Dad? Doggy dad? Dave Anthony? Yeah. Read your story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
Starting point is 00:05:04 But crazy intro from you. Not good. I keep it real. I don't think that's the case. Do I keep it real? I think you keep it 1600. See I love that. I love that phrase. Virgil just felt intimidated by your glare. February 12, 1831. It was a very good year. Always, always a good era. Get your Irish accent. Ah fuck. John Morrissey was born in Templemore, Ireland. His parents lived a typical life of poverty in Ireland. Sure. This crib's a fucking shambles. Two years later his parents immigrated to the United States to find a better life. Sure. What's going on with your mic? It cuts in and out. It's a feature. That's good. You pay for that? I gave the guy extra. Hey make this thing cut in and out. They settled in Troy, New York. Yeah. Oh boy. I heard keys.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I heard keys, Jank. There we go. Boom. Right in reserve on the ready. Someone knows their fucking job. All right. And he's out. That's how you do it. Get out of here. That's how you do it. He's going to get yelled at. After the show he's going to get yelled at. You need to solve the problem immediately. I don't give a shit. Oh, I wish we went back to that other month. Red, one job to do. So John's father, Timothy, enjoyed drinking and fighting. Wait, was Irishman? Yeah, he was Irish. Now he is Irish. He's an Irish guy. He is Irish. And his likes again. Drinking and fighting. This is crazy stuff. I don't know. I mean you're only going to hear this here, gang. I'm going to need more citations on this. I need to see the bibliography. He
Starting point is 00:07:16 worked on the Hudson River docks and was paid a dollar and six drinks of whiskey a day. They had a good union back then. That's what it was strong. Smart. Yeah, I have never gotten more than one drink of whiskey at a job in my life. We're not working for less than five. You don't want to negotiate the dollar at all. The what? No, what? What? If I'm not seeing double by the end of the day, I'm fucking quitting. What the fuck can I do with a dollar? We'll give you a dollar and six drinks. Hello? Are you guys still? What's going on? All right, I was talking to you. Sing a song of six drinks. The couple cranked out seven more kids, all girls. Yeah, that drunk womb liked the ladies. Strangely, having eight kids led to more poverty. What? That's weird,
Starting point is 00:08:16 because when you do the math, that should result in more food. Right. Yeah. How many drinks did the kids get? We won't settle for anything last turn, one and a half. If I don't get a dimple for the whiskey. So young John was forced to get a job when he was 11. That was just the time, you guys. Yeah, he worked at a wallpaper factory for $2 a week. So he's already doing better than his dad. How many drinks, though? 17 drinks a day. Oh, dad, you're up at my arse at the old wallpaper factory again. After a year, he got a job at an iron mill for $5 a week. And when he was 15, he was making $9 a week at a stove company. I mean, that's great money, but his jobs are not exciting. This is the American dream. Oh, I missed a simple wallpaper times. Yeah, but you've got to
Starting point is 00:09:14 take a look at my resume. Yeah, you see a wallpaper and I'm forgetting the stove game now. I don't be fun. I'm a self-stove starter. You see, libertarianism works. You start a job at 11, you build a CV, and then by age 13, you're working in a wallpaper factory getting $5 and God knows how many whiskeys. Yeah. Yeah, it's all coming together. Ryanomics works. But the family was still always on the brink of destitution. John grew bitter and angry that he had to work, and he started fighting a lot. Wait a minute. This, I'm just confirming. This is an Irishman. Yes. And he was fighting? He started fighting, yeah. It was very common then for Irish factory workers to settle arguments with fist fights. Yeah, one words won't do. For his age, John was very large and very
Starting point is 00:10:06 strong, and he could take a punch. He was soon known as one of Troy's best brawlers. Grown men became afraid of the teenager, John Morrissey, which was a big deal because Troy was a place where men were commonly beaten to death in the mills, factories, and docks. Commonly? Yeah. How tough is this, John Morrissey? Well, put it this way, he's still alive. Boy, Timothy's taking a long lunch break, isn't he? Oh, he got beaten to death. He didn't hear. No, he's not with us any longer. Yeah, we're hiring. Oh, it's, you know, when your day comes, your day comes. It just is life in the factory. With his reputation as a fighter, when he was 16, John was approached to be the bouncer at a brothel. Sure. John demanded $20 a week, which was a huge sum at the time, and the owner
Starting point is 00:11:07 balked. So John decided to prove he was worth it. At the bar in the brothel was an infamous dock worker and brutal brawler who had gouged out the eyes of several opponents. His name was Biber McGeehan. What was his name? Biber McGeehan. Biber McGeehan. I mean Biber McGeehan. That sounded better in my head. John pointed at him and looked at the owner and said, you want me to prove it? Big Biber McGeehan's at the bar. Will he do as a sample? And the owner said, yes. So Morrissey walked over. So he asked the owner, can I go beat the fuck out of him? He was like, yeah, for sure. How about I beat the shit out of Biber? Yeah, I'll go kill him. The guy over there who's like not doing anything wrong and is paying his bills. Biber. Could beat the shit out of him. You want
Starting point is 00:11:57 the job? Go handle this guy who keeps gouging out eyes. We can't deal with it. We need someone. So he knocks out Biber with one punch and got the job for $20 a week. That's a good interview. Yeah. Put it on the resume. Yeah. I gotta try that next time. And I could fix stoves. I'll say your wild paper's peeling. Just saying. And he was worth it after a series of beatings of customers. Word got out. You've got to go to this brothel. You can get your shit kicked right out of you. I don't even have sex with the women anymore. This guy beats the fuck out of you. I mean, I know you think you got the shit kicked out of you, but you haven't got the shit kicked out of you till you get John Morrissey to kick the shit right out of you.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Well, now that Biber's gone. Now I just come when I go there and get punched. I don't need to go near the ladies. They've discovered an entire new fetish. It's like, I realized after I went a few times, I wasn't really interested in the ladies anymore. You know, the whole time I was putting it inside her, I was just thinking, what a time that guy beat the crap out of me. Boy, he really took a hold of my hand and my heart. He really did. So the brothel became known as a place that did not mess around. But that's a weird policy for a brothel. Oh, you got to go here. They don't mess around. No funny business. Wait, that's what I'm mainly interested in. But John Sue grew tired of beating up locals and started dreaming of
Starting point is 00:13:48 beating up people in the big city. You got to picture that. And the way you have to picture that is like he's he just beats up somebody and he throws him out and then he goes to like the outside and he looks in the like sky and he's like, there's got to be more to this. Someday I'll beat the shit out of fancy people. You're a dreamer. I got no greater dream than knocking the monocle out of a motherfucker's face. My head's in the clouds again. He's skipping stones. I'd be loose. So he got a job as a deckhand on a riverboat. And he fell in love with the captain's daughter, Susie Smith, who was educated and refined and way above his pay grade. But he still began to pursue her. Meanwhile, he was like a gunfighter in the old West, dock workers and
Starting point is 00:14:40 crew shipmen ship crewmen, sorry, had heard of him. And he was often just challenged to fight. So guys in the docks like that's the one, right? Let's go big boy. That's the one is really good at being the shit out of people. I want to fight you. I relate to that because I'm often find myself at a bar or gathering and someone challenges me to a podcast off. You're the guy. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. I got a microphone. You start. Throw the first gym. I just want to live my life, man. I just want to live my life. Yeah, but pretty simple beyond HBO's pod off. That's a hell of a show. I hear it's doing poorly. But John would always beat the crap out of all the challengers. And when he was 17, he joined a gang. He's 17? Yes. In my head, in my head,
Starting point is 00:15:32 we've gone to 28 or 30. 17. He's looking to settle down. He's 17. The fuck. He was just 15. A 16 year old's in front of your brothel like, yeah, yeah, I'm in charge here. Well, this is a good math problem. It's like if John is 15, and then he quits bouncing because he's beaten up everybody in Troy, New York in at 17. How long does it take to beat the shit out of everyone in Troy, New York? Yeah. That's right. So he joined a gang called the downtown gang. Where were they located? And their rivals were the uptown gang. Okay, so these are the first two gangs ever. You got to give them a break. These are like the first ever gangs. For sure. It takes a while to
Starting point is 00:16:24 like get the hang of naming your group. You know, I don't like those downtown gentlemen. Yeah. I wish there was a group for guys like us. Uptowners. You just said it. What are we going to call ourselves? The pants wearers. All right, no more pitching from you. No, I think we want to go geographical. Cut ourselves the cape. Uptowners. Guys who like dogs gang. Yeah, guys who like dogs. Hey, downtowners, where are the guys who like dogs? Let's have a spitball again. I don't think we're hitting it. We might let's circle back after lunch. Let's all have a night. They got it. Come back with some names. But I do like guys who like dogs. One day at Lawrence's saloon, John came across the leader of the uptowns, John O'Rourke. They fought and John beat the living shit out of
Starting point is 00:17:16 him. Then eight other uptowns attacked John. Not at once. One at a time. Wait. So every time you watch a movie and you see the guy fighting and the six other guys like, oh man, when he's done fighting that guy, I'm going to jump in and fight him too. That actually happened. That yeah, that happened. I owe Steven Seagal a huge apology. Huge apology. I was just watching all those movies like bullshit. Hey, did you guys think about doing it at once? No, we respect the man. Be fair. And he beat the shit out of the guys one by one. This battle made John a legend in Troy and an article was written about him in the New York Daily Tribune. 17 year old wonder boy. His ex boss from the brothel was on a trip to New York City and he talked up John in the America's
Starting point is 00:18:12 club, saying he could beat anyone. Guys in the city were not down with this idea. Dutch Charlie Dwayne. What? Dutch Charlie Dwayne. Okay. Where is he from? Yeah. Spain. I'm Dutch Charlie Dwayne. And I come from Spain. One of the first irony bros. Where are the irony boys? We're not a gang. Wait. We're just friends. Why did they come to a brawl? Get it? Let's go boys. So Dutch Charlie Dwayne took offense to this boasting and said to the brothel owner, there ain't a man in the place that couldn't murder that farmer or yours. Just send him down and I'll agree to bite his ears off. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. So the fighting is different. Yeah. Starting with the hard sell. When I do an ear package.
Starting point is 00:19:16 When this message was relayed to John, he decided to head to New York City and take Dutch Charlie up on it. So he's in Troy and a guy comes up and says, there's a guy down in New York City. He wants to bite your ears off and he's like, let's go. When's the next boat? I'll drive. Well, I mean it beat dying of tomean poisoning or whatever else was going to happen to him. There weren't a lot of options. He did want to go to the big city. Yeah. No, finally. Yeah, it kind of works out. You know, I've been wanting to go to the big city. This ear biting trip gives me a reason. So he arrived and headed straight to the America's club, which was where every criminal hung out.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Little did John know, but he had entered the toughest hangout of the nativists. These were the anti-immigrant anti-catholic gang members. Looking young, clean shaven, 17 year old John entered and asked for a Dutch eye, Dutch Charlie Dwayne. I'm here to have my ears bitten. No, I told have an appointment. Are you busy? I mean, I hear there's a gentleman. I'll wait here if it's required. If there's a gentleman here who likes to nibble ears, is that?
Starting point is 00:20:24 But Dutch Charlie was not there. Bill Poole was there, and he surmised this was the kid from Troy. And John said, yeah, that's exactly who he was. And then John said, Bill looked like his mother was a whore. So he's going right in. And also disparaging his mother. A little bit. A little bit. She takes a little shrapnel on this one. Yeah, I haven't seen a whore like you since my mom. What?
Starting point is 00:20:58 Fuck you. I'm sorry. What? I don't know. He figured he'd have a fist fight with this Bill guy, but instead someone hit John on the back of the head with a spittoon. That's the time. That was the third largest cause of death. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's the third largest cause of death. Oh, yeah. It's the new lightning. In moments, everyone in the bar started hitting and kicking John.
Starting point is 00:21:25 He went down and was lying on the floor as they kicked him, gushing blood. You mean he was lying going like, I'm fine. I'm standing up. I'm winning this fight. He went down. He actually went down. Oh, he was lying on the floor. So he's down there gushing blood. I get it. Here we go. I get it. They do finally.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Wait a minute. So they didn't obey Seagal rules. They did not obey all at once. These guys are not Troy New York City in the bad bar. I mean, yeah, this is not what the uptown boys do. We don't Seagal here. Yet somehow John managed to get back on his feet. Everyone in the bar was amazed considering the beating he had just taken. And then he actually started throwing punches and landing blows.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Then someone hit him on the back of the head with a club and he was out cold. That's tough. Right in the midst of a comeback. Bill pulled out a knife and walked over and was about to kill John. When the owner of the America's club stepped in and saved him. He was way too impressed with what he had just seen from John. And he told them this was too good of a fighter to just kill off. Then John was taken upstairs and spent several days healing in bed. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:22:33 So now it is like a Seagal movie again. Yeah. Yeah. Not this one, boys. There's a fire in him. And then the love interest is up there like bathing him. And he's like, what's your deal? Oh, I'm... That actually is a lot like interning at Google. Like after they beat the shit out of you, if they see something in you, they'll spare your life and let you become an intern.
Starting point is 00:23:03 This is actually, this is the beginning of Google, this story. So Bill allowed him to live, but he had a new enemy. Now Bill was born, Bill Poole was born in Sussex County, New Jersey to English parents. In 1832, his father moved the whole family to New York City to open a butcher shop in Manhattan. As people dreamed of. I want to work around meat. Oh, that was Irish.
Starting point is 00:23:31 You know, I know we haven't developed refrigeration yet, but I'd really like to work around a bunch of slaughtered beef carcasses. I love cutting bone. It's a passion. Everyone listening is like, what's happening? Yeah. So Bill trained to be a butcher with his dad, and in time he took over the family meat shop. He also joined the Bowrie Boys Street gang.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Oh boy. See, they're progressing. That's a little more catchy than the downtowners in the uptowner. Well, we were skipping over when marketing was invented. But it's also just the name of the place they're from, so it's not any different than the uptown boys. All right, that's fair. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Still, back to the drawing board. They're from a better location. The Bowrie Boys were working men, labors, or self-employed small businessmen. As Bill Grolder, he joined Fire Engine Company number 34. So now he's in one of those crazy fire outfits. And he started his own gang called the Washington Street Gang, I assume, from Washington Street.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Gang in the name of the gang? Yeah. If only we knew where they were located. Strike up at their headquarters. It's just got a more and more specific, the next one. This is Steve's house gang. We're 86 Wells Street. Apartment five.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Why? That's the gang name. Social security number 329. Five, seven, six. It's pound six, nine, one. You get in the door, it'll buzz. Why? That's the gang name.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Ask for Bobby. What is your deal? So the jackets are going to be more than we thought. The Washington Street Gang was a politically-affiliated gang. They were militant supporters of the Know Nothing party. So Know Nothing's here tonight. We all know about them. They're in the White House.
Starting point is 00:26:05 David. Oh, what have I done? Who got sassy? David. They bitterly opposed Irish... Give them a minute. No. They bitterly opposed the Clown Street Gang,
Starting point is 00:26:23 which is in Congress. Am I right, folks? Am I right? What about the Clowns? Our guest PJ O'Rourke is here tonight. They bitterly opposed Irish Catholic immigration and hated them because they were cheap labor and they competed for jobs of native-born men.
Starting point is 00:26:46 They took their jobs. They've also beat up every man in Troy, New York. Yeah. That's true. I'd be like, hey, we got to do something about these Irishmen. Kicking the shit out of everybody. We got to get rid of this Troy, New York sanctuary city. We should call the Troy, New York Sanctuary Gang.
Starting point is 00:27:05 Bill was a bit of a pioneer as he began using street fighters to dominate a democratic society. So he's the first guy that was like, let's hit the streets and just beat the fuck out of people voting. That's smart. And then... There's always a trailblazer. And then later, Mussolini would be like, that's a cool idea.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Yeah. Bill joined forces with Captain Isaiah Reinders, who was the owner of the America's Club. He was also a terrible racist who had left Tammany Hall to join the Know-Nothings, and he really liked Bill Poole. Bill was larger than most men at the time, over six feet tall, weighing 200 pounds. His nickname became Bill the Butcher.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Wait, oh yeah, here we go. I didn't know they would be fans of him. Yeah. I love his early stuff. The eye, the whole thing. Part of this was because when he fought, he fought like a madman. So when John Morris, he came into the club and offered to fight anyone there,
Starting point is 00:28:03 he was daring a man much larger than he was. John was just six feet tall, 175 pounds. So John is huge for the time. For the time. Yeah. Yeah, everybody was really tiny back then. And he's like 17. Yeah, well, he's halfway through his life.
Starting point is 00:28:18 He's Benjamin Button, so he's 14 now. Oh, he goes backwards. He's going backwards. He's like, Mork. Okay, got it. I didn't realize we were doing Mork. It seems like basically you had like everyone out, everyone, the normal people,
Starting point is 00:28:28 and then you had the guys who dominated because they had the innovative idea of eating protein. Everyone else is just gnawing raw potatoes, and they're like, what if I eat beef? When my arms broke again, keeps happening. You had the normal people, and then you had what's called Irishman. So he, John didn't really like the no nothings
Starting point is 00:28:57 because he's an Irish Catholic guy. But even though they're an anti-Catholic organization, he started working for them as an immigrant runner. Okay, so he'd run the grants. So he would go down to the docks when the immigrants were coming off the boats, and he would take all their belongings and money, and then take them to a boarding house or brothel to work,
Starting point is 00:29:15 and then they were now in debt. Wait. So you came over as an immigrant, you're like, I've got to start to make life over. You sure are, pal. You've got a big bunch of money and all your stuff. Give me all your stuff. What's happening now?
Starting point is 00:29:26 Hey, this is where you live. What? You don't have anything, but I do. Now you owe rent. How do I get that? Well, how do you get that? So they would also be forced to vote for the no nothings. Oh, you don't have a bottle opener.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Oh. Oh, look at this guy over here. You got a couple of MacGyver's. Look at this, fellas. Whoa, someone's an alcoholic. To be fair, alcoholics use their teeth. That's not to be crazy. So John quickly became one of the top two immigrant runners,
Starting point is 00:30:04 and he tried to get the other top immigrant runner to fight him. Because? Just because he was there because... There can only be one. Highlanders! We are Highlanders. First, he stole a bunch of the guy's business, and the guy didn't do anything.
Starting point is 00:30:22 And then he started fucking the guy's girlfriend. There we go. But the guy was like, oh, I saw right. Oh, she's gone through another one of her phases. She fucks me, Nemesis. This is the story of the time. This is the story of the 2016 Republican primaries. You ever hoarded the word cook?
Starting point is 00:30:50 Finally, he went to the guy, went to where the guy was in a bar, and they brawled. During the fight, he must have just been like, what does it take to fight you? I'm staking your money, I'm fucking your lady! Hi, do you want to drink? Drink your dog!
Starting point is 00:31:06 Sir, may we please fight? Oh, there you go. You should have said that to her fucking dog. How about some manners, son? Well, I'm in love with your life. During the fight, hot coals were knocked out of a stove. And then the other guy grabbed John and pushed him and held him down on the hot coals.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Fuck. This is really hitting a lot of 80s movie stereotypes. This is where all Seagal's ideas came from. His back was badly burnt, but John just became more angry and then destroyed the other guy, knocking out a bunch of his teeth, breaking his nose, and breaking his jaw.
Starting point is 00:31:50 So, I think it's safe to say his face got broken. Yeah, he punched him in the face a bunch, everything that was there... Everything in his face was gone. Yeah, the lower part. I think he left the forehead. He's like, I'll leave you your forehead. Yeah, so you can remember this.
Starting point is 00:32:08 John walked out acting like he was fine, but he had burns that would scar him for the rest of his life. From this fight, he picked up the name Old Smoke. Even though he's, what, 12? Yeah, he's nine and a half at this point. Yeah, but he sounds like Jerky. What about Jerky John?
Starting point is 00:32:28 Oh, no, I don't like that one. No, Jerky John will get upset. We already have a Jerky John. How are you guys liking the Venison? And now, John Morris, he was the talk of New York. But John didn't really like his job. He didn't, like, take advantage of immigrants. He's running immigrants.
Starting point is 00:32:48 He's running immigrants. So, he wanted a more honorable life. Sure. So, he quit and got a job in a gambling house. Sure, yeah. Right on. Time for honor. Victimless crime. After learning all about gambling,
Starting point is 00:33:04 the Gold Rush hit California, and John headed off there to get rich. He stood away on a cargo ship with a friend, because he didn't have any money, so they hid down below. A couple days later, they were found, because they were probably just hiding behind a box. Right.
Starting point is 00:33:20 And whoever found them got punched right into the fucking ocean. Well, for a few days, they'd move the box, and the two of them would just be like, Potatoes. Well, nothing down here. More potatoes. Did you hear the Potatoes? They told you. Yeah, yeah. No, they're definitely Potatoes.
Starting point is 00:33:38 They said they were as much. So, the captain was considering just dumping them in Mexico when some of the sailors on the ship attempted a mutiny. So, the captain... It's a great time to have them in a wheelhouse. Right? It's, again, it's an 80's movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Yeah. So, the captain gave John and his friend guns, and then the two of them held off the mutiny. Now they have guns? John doesn't need guns. No, he doesn't, but he... He has them. And then returning got safe passage to San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Okay. So, when John arrived in California, all the gold areas had been staked, and he quickly grew bored, and then opportunity came. Famous boxer and American champion, Tom Hire had arrived in the state. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Hire was a close friend of Bill the Butcher. So, John kept challenging him, but Hire was more interested in partying and the ladies. And after a while, they couldn't take John's badgering to fight, and he headed back to New York. So, instead, John fought Hire's trainer. And this was a big deal to the know-nothings
Starting point is 00:34:46 back in the America's Club, because one of their own was fighting. But he was so annoying, the guy was like, I'm leaving. Yeah, he's like, I don't. I'm going to New York. I really don't like him. Bailey's not much of a boxer. Yeah, but still. Because if you're the champion, and someone's like,
Starting point is 00:35:02 I want to fight you, you're like, I'm going to go. I got to go. That's, I mean, I don't know, Floyd Mayweather, I mean, that's kind of his... Yeah, you just don't fight people. Yeah, that's true. Someone said something controversial. So, they fought on Mare Island outside of San Francisco, because no law was there.
Starting point is 00:35:22 2,000 men. Wait, where? It's illegal to fight. So, Mare Island is a tiny island outside of Lajo in the middle of a river. If you want to do heroin, you got to ride your boat all the way out there. Oh, you can do whatever. Do heroin. Fuck your mom.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Whatever you like. Lawless island out there it is. I can fuck my mommy. I'm surprised you took that one so fast, but yeah. Lawless island it is. Do whatever. I just married a bloke and his dog the other night. Do whatever you like. My favorite thing about those areas
Starting point is 00:35:54 is how long it takes for them to figure out, oh, there's the lawless hell that we need to do something about. There were no laws on islands until the Harrison administration. Those were the original free trade zones. So... So, 2,000 men came to watch
Starting point is 00:36:12 and John won in 12 rounds. He was now the toast of California. Word got back to the America's Club where Bill, The Butcher, and others were not pleased. John won 3,000 in the bout and he used it to return to New York. Oh, boy, so... And he was 21 years old.
Starting point is 00:36:28 What? What is he gonna... How does he keep reinventing himself? Which reminds me a lot of myself at that age. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. When he arrived in the city...
Starting point is 00:36:46 And this is before YouTube. God. When he arrived in the city he became involved in politics, but this time on the side opposing the no-nothings. He had graduated from being a guy dragging immigrants
Starting point is 00:37:02 to the polls and now he's an inside man who did dirty, important tasks of politicians. He was the muscle of Tammany Hall. So this is in wrestling terms called a face turn. He's bad.
Starting point is 00:37:18 He's evil hulk. No, he was bad. Now he's good. Now he's good. Before one election, Tammany politicians heard that Bill the Butcher and his crew were planning on raiding a polling place and destroying all the ballots for the Tammany mayoral
Starting point is 00:37:34 candidate. On behalf of Vladimir Putin. The Tammany politicians asked John to stop Bill with his own crew and John said he would do it for free. Okay. Interesting counter. He's got no problem there. So John rounded up... It'd be an honor. John rounded up 50 men from the
Starting point is 00:37:54 Dead Rabbits gang. We're getting... We're really getting there, folks. That's a great... That's a great... We're from Dead Rabbits Avenue. They literally came from a pile of Dead Rabbits. Oh, look! They were actually Rabbits. We're avenging our parents.
Starting point is 00:38:12 So they armed the Dead Rabbits with clubs and promised them a dollar each. He placed the men... How much whiskey? It's just a dollar. John, three shots each. Okay, that's less than a dollar. So...
Starting point is 00:38:28 I think we close out with this guy now. We've got him right where we want him. A dollar. No, the three shots. Okay, deal. Stupid. Not much of a connoissiator. He placed men in and around the building and told them to defend it to the death.
Starting point is 00:38:48 He also let it be known that there would be adverse criticism if Bill the Butcher's men were permanently maimed and that ears and noses would be highly regarded as souvenirs. Well, I mean... Souven ears. That's...
Starting point is 00:39:04 That's why they got that name. Yeah. Thank you. Nine people sort of. Thank you. Nine people sort of is going to be the name of our podcast. Bill the Butcher arrived at noon with two dozen men
Starting point is 00:39:20 and was surprised to see John and his crew realizing that he was greatly outnumbered. Bill the Butcher retreated. John was flooded with cash from Tammany Hall as a reward. He also cemented his reputation as a man who could deal with Bill the Butcher and his crew.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Tammany permitted Bill to open a small gambling house and he started making good money. Okay. Someone's moving up. He's 19. Okay. Morrissey also went back to taunting Hyre for a fight. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Now I guess the guy's going to go to, like, Texas or some shit. Yeah. John really wanted to be champion. So Hyre just said he was retired. What a foiter. Yeah. I'm the great quitter. So the championship was vacant.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Yankee Sullivan was said to be the other best boxer. So John and Yankee Sullivan fought for the championship. Yankee Sullivan. He sounds like a Mike Tyson's punch-out character. So Yankee at the time basically means native-born. Okay, right.
Starting point is 00:40:24 That's how they distinguish each other. And then the immigrants are just shit people. Okay. Well, easy distinction. The fight was delayed two hours while the boxer's entourage argued over who was going to be the referee. So they even had entourage
Starting point is 00:40:40 But no referee. That's backwards. They didn't think about that beforehand. They just set a time and a place and then they showed up and they're like, Oh, who's doing the thing? What if one of us stabs the other? We should have a guy.
Starting point is 00:40:56 We should have done a conference call before this. Bill the butcher was in Sullivan's corner also. So the fight started. In under a minute, John was bleeding from his face. Sullivan would punch and move while John just swung as hard as he could.
Starting point is 00:41:12 By the end of the fourth round, quote, John's face was frightfully carved up. He had a swollen eye and blood was drizzling from his nose and cheek. His face and chest were a dark coast of smeared crimson. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:28 So you don't, smeared crimson's a bad one. It's blood. It's my favorite pride rock band. Yeah. And that was just the beginning. Sullivan dominated the first 10 rounds of the fight, but then he got tired. Oh, man. And the fight went on.
Starting point is 00:41:44 The 37th round. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 37? We do nine second rounds. 37. Yeah. So you really are just saying who's tired
Starting point is 00:42:00 at that point. Well, you go until someone falls over and can't get up. Well, that's when you need your life alert. It's really more of a carbo-loading contest than a fight. Like whoever had the most pasta beforehand. They're just squirting water and like coffee in your mouth like it's water.
Starting point is 00:42:18 There you go. Stay up. Hi, Mawake. So the 37th round is still considered to be one of the craziest in boxing history. Sullivan came out swung and missed. John threw Sullivan against one of the ring steaks and started pounding him. Sullivan tried to grab onto John.
Starting point is 00:42:34 So John choked Sullivan with one hand and started punching him with the other. He just invented MMA? Yeah. This guy's an innovator. Was there a ref? No, it's legal. That's legal to choke. There's no rules against choking guy.
Starting point is 00:42:50 So what is the ref doing? He's like, legal, legal, legal, legal, legal, legal. Yeah, kick his nuts. Legal, legal, legal, legal. There's no rules against choking or a dog entering the ring. No. We've got a dog ring side again.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Boy, this is one lost puppy. So to avoid the beating, Sullivan dropped to the ground, which is also totally legal. You could get on the ground. So John, I got you with a hiding rule. I put on a big mustache. You can't tell that I'm the fighter
Starting point is 00:43:22 or one of the spectators. Hey, he's got his head in my shorts. It's legal, son. We haven't seen anything illegal. John then started punching Sullivan while he was on the ground. Also totally legal. Legal, legal. I'll let you know
Starting point is 00:43:38 when there's been an infraction. Legal. Then Sullivan's two corner men jumped into the ring. At that point, John picked up... Legal, legal, legal, legal, legal. John picked up Sullivan and slammed him back onto the ground. Okay, this is wrestling.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Legal. I haven't seen anything wrong. Legal. Then John's corner men ran into the ring and a melee erupted. Drunk spectators jumped in and soon everyone was... Legal, legal. All allow it.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Legal, legal, legal, legal. All allow it. So the referee is in the bar next door getting shit-faced. Legal. All allow it. So, yeah. Legal chaos. John was now fighting one of Sullivan's corner men
Starting point is 00:44:28 and Sullivan was now fighting one of John's corner men whose name was Awful Gardener. Whoa. Say that name again, please. Awful Gardener. How are your tomatoes? Awful? Awful had a brother named Horrible Gardener.
Starting point is 00:44:44 What? Awful had once... How did his parents know? His thumbs aren't green. You know what he'll be like in the garden. Betty, I think you're overthinking this. Awful had once bitten another...
Starting point is 00:45:02 another boxer's nose off during an argument. Which isn't really an argument at that point. Yeah, true. It's a major upgrade. It's a fight. I mean, you... Once you've bitten a nose off, you've lost because that's the ultimate ad hominem.
Starting point is 00:45:18 Yeah, at that point, you're... That's coming out of your face. Thank you for conceding my point. Well, I think we all know who won this one. You don't know how bad you look. You foolish, foolish loser. With my nose in your... My God, I'm lightheaded.
Starting point is 00:45:34 I am not... Eventually, the ring was finally cleared and the referee signaled for round 38 to start. Nothing illegal has happened. Next round. But Sullivan did not come out. Now, there are two separate reports.
Starting point is 00:45:50 One said that he did not want to continue because he was too badly beaten. And the other says he would not stop fighting Awful Gardener. Why? What was wrong with Awful? I mean, besides his gardening prospects.
Starting point is 00:46:06 It was a classic subs versus dubs argument. You know how this... No, no, no, don't water it! Awful. I... Awful. What are you doing? We want it to grow!
Starting point is 00:46:22 Put more plants inside of the toilet. This is how we get a yard. Awful. I... Either way, John was the new American boxing champion. The New York Times said of John Morrissey in the fight,
Starting point is 00:46:40 quote, you might as well hit a brick wall as hit that man on the head. That's a pretty good compliment. That was like the third most popular spectator sport at that time, was punching brick walls. Man V. Wall. Man V. Wall. Huge hit.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Big show. Travel Channel. But the melee was not over. After the fight, the crowd turned into a riot, which spilled... Now, this is not in a rural area. So, they're riding in, like, the middle of Kansas. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Actually, not Kansas, but you get the... I'm making a fuck off. It's a hillbilly hodown, I get it. Which spilled into neighboring farms and small towns. They attacked farms and houses, taking food and booze. They slaughtered pigs and roasted
Starting point is 00:47:28 them beside the road. I had no idea that the scene in Blazing Saddles, when Alex Cirrus punches the cow is based on a true story. Holy shit! So, they're like post-game riot tailgating.
Starting point is 00:47:46 Yeah. What if you're a farmer, you're like, I think they're roasting our pigs. That guy's fighting corn. I'll show you a thing or two. Boy, cheer, no. Boy, cheer for you. Boy, cheer yourself.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Yeah. Boston Corners, Millerton and other nearby towns were destroyed by thousands of drunken morons. Some locals managed to get a train to stop, and they all jumped on it and escaped from the mob. They flashed down a train.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Flagging down a train. They're punching our pigs! It must have been his first day driving a train. Did I stop? Well, I think he saw them, and then he saw the big cartoon dust-like thing with the fists coming out of it.
Starting point is 00:48:42 And pigs flying in and out. Pigs flying in and out. Cows getting, like, ribs big... It's like, okay, yeah, I get it. I get it. I gotta stop. The law was eventually informed of the mess that was happening, and they came. The only person arrested
Starting point is 00:48:58 was Yankee Sullivan. That's what we call reverse racism. Yeah. Native-born American... I'm a Yankee! He was put in jail and could not afford to pay the bail. So his buddies paid it for him,
Starting point is 00:49:16 and when he finally got out, he took off for the West Coast, where he would eventually be arrested by the 1856 Vigilance Committee in San Francisco, and he died in his cell. That's a weird... Well, it was a very evil cackle.
Starting point is 00:49:32 The Vigilance Committee? Remember, we did an episode about that in San Francisco. They hung the guys out the window. Oh, I do remember that. I'm just a fan of people getting owned, historically. Any sort of... Any kind of audience.
Starting point is 00:49:48 I just like windmills. Fair to. Now, at 22... Jesus! How long were years? How long were years? How many days was a year? Oh, years were 940 days!
Starting point is 00:50:04 Oh, sorry! The sun took much longer to get around. Yeah, no. This is before years. Well, it needed a horse cart. So it took a long time to get around. How does he do so much in a single year? When I was 22, I learned that if you keep a bottle next to your bed,
Starting point is 00:50:20 you'll be gaming as long as you want. It is astounding what you can accomplish without the internet. Distracting you. That's really what you learn when you read about the history. Wow, these people did so much. It's because they were fucking bored.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I can't log on to my favorite websites. I'll literally punch a wall. Did they ever accomplish a level 88 raid on Angaro, on World of Warcraft? No, I don't think they ever did. We over-go to like a medieval torture museum where you see these insane contraptions and you're like, who sat and imagined that?
Starting point is 00:50:54 It's like, yeah, they didn't have TV. They had nothing else to do. It's like, oh, what about a big wooden diamond and you just put your ass on it? I don't know. I really wish there was something I could just watch for an hour right now. Instead of slowly die of syphilis.
Starting point is 00:51:14 Right? You better hurry up and make Zelda or I'll keep making weird shit to kill people. What's the vibe like at a torture museum? It's chill. I bet it is. It's like respectful silence but also sort of a giddy
Starting point is 00:51:32 enjoyment of the horror. I recommend them. It's good because everyone has to pretend they're there for historical enrichment but they're actually just there to be like, oh my god, that's so fucking gross. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Really would hurt. Oh, I gotta check Facebook. Really would hurt. So, at 22, John Morrissey was a household name nationwide. Though not everyone thought he truly won the fight
Starting point is 00:52:04 because of the way the victory happened. So there were naysayers. Now that he had a name, someone brought him in to be a partner and John was rolling in cash. He then asked the captain's daughter he had fell in love with years ago to marry him. Aw.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Yes, he's a sweet story. Then he punched her in the face. Alright, sure. You got to. No means no. No. They married and he worked at his gambling hall and became even more involved than Tammany Hall.
Starting point is 00:52:36 John was very influential in getting Fernando Wood elected as mayor and vice as well as big muscle. So he's using his brains too. Oh my god. This just infuriated Bill the Butcher and the know nothings more. He's the fighting wonk.
Starting point is 00:52:52 The... What happened? He's like, you know, he wears a lanyard but he'll also knock you out. The fighting wonk. Bill the Butcher learned that this new political consultant
Starting point is 00:53:08 consorted and certain Italian pizzerias in the New York area and thought he'd uncover a conspiracy. One night in February 1855 It's true. One night in February 1855 John was drinking in a bar
Starting point is 00:53:28 when Bill walked in. This was their recorded conversation. John, quote, there stands the black, muzzled American fighter. Bill responded, yes, I'm a dandy. Yes, I'm the dandy. I'm a dandy.
Starting point is 00:53:44 It's great that there's a time when that was like a good comeback. Yes, I am a dandy. And then John said I can lick all the dandy out of you tomorrow evening. Sorry, sorry, sorry. This took a turn.
Starting point is 00:54:06 This is porn dialogue, right? And then Bill said well I'll be your daddy. I don't think you can lick all the dandy off of me. Well, I'd love to try. After I clean the pool. There's one of those Italian pizza
Starting point is 00:54:28 discs then delivered. These are the most masculine men in the entire 19th century. John said he would bet $50 that he could beat Bill the Butcher. Bill agreed. The next day they met at the Amos Street Dock, which was in Bill's
Starting point is 00:54:46 gang's territory. And the crowd that came... Amos Street Dock gang. Amos? Yeah. Yeah, it had to be. Yeah, legally. They're just on that dock all the time. We want to be the jets.
Starting point is 00:55:04 You're from the dock. Can we be the guys in a boat that go off the dock? Gang? No, we're doing addresses now. Okay, we'll just stay here. We're actually shooting a porno in a minute if you'd like to stick around.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Two guys are going to lick the dandy out of each other. So the crowd that came was enormous. They were packed on the roofs and hanging from windows. Who is the person who's like, I can hold this?
Starting point is 00:55:40 Bill the Butcher arrived on a rowboat. Very fucking fancy. Very fancy, right? Probably throwing food to the fish. Someone's throwing roses at him. Harpoon that he shoots. That's all I know. That totally takes the shine off.
Starting point is 00:55:56 If he's like huffing and fucking moving the goddamn oars. He's got to be at the back waving. In a robe, turned down for what's playing and he's like rolling in. Yes. One of John's friends was an enemy. Docking's an awkward part of that.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Super awkward. Get the rope. Grab the rope and throw it on the thing, will you? Thank you. Can we all salute to the docking to come later? Moments away from a dandy dock. The dandy docking
Starting point is 00:56:28 that was to come. The dock sucking. And then there's just a couple of dandy dock suckers. There's just thousands of people watching two guys fucking at dock. Are they going to fight? Who's winning? I can't tell.
Starting point is 00:56:44 We're winning. We're winning. I don't know how to score this. Oh, I do. Yama yama. I guess that's why they call him the butcher. I think that was a laugh from DC. It sounded so distant.
Starting point is 00:57:16 We're piping some in. So one of John's friends was an enemy of Bill's brother. Okay. Bob the builder. What? His brother Bob the builder. Bill the butcher and his brother Bob the builder.
Starting point is 00:57:32 You get it. Anybody have kids? Bill's brother walked up and just punched the guy in the head. Both groups were fighting each other. Okay, good. John's friends got their asses kicked because there's many more of the no-nothing guys.
Starting point is 00:57:48 And their revolvers were taken and then they were thrown into the river. That's a good ending. That's a good finishing move. So now John's alone. And then the boxing started. There was no ring, they're just on the dock. And it wasn't as much...
Starting point is 00:58:04 This is an 80's movie. It's like... It's like half... It's like half Roadhouse, half Seagal. Giant stacks of boxes that are gonna get knocked everywhere. You're the best in the world, but you gotta prove it now.
Starting point is 00:58:20 Somebody comes through and a monster truck and drives over a boat. I own this town. Dig deep and fight, gotta dig deep! So it wasn't as much a boxing match as a clawing wrestling match.
Starting point is 00:58:42 They were trying to gouge each other's eyes out and bite each other's faces. It's a good callback. There was a long gash on Bill's cheeks where the flesh had been torn away by his opponent's teeth. Blood was streaming from John Morris' eyes. According to one reporter, Bill won the fight and John surrendered.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Then Bill got into his rowboat and off he went. Just got in a circle. Turned out for what? David, can I just interject here? It's bugging me all night, but I just figured out where I've heard the story of Bill the Butcher before.
Starting point is 00:59:32 It's this man who's Turkish and he puts salt on meats and that's the story, right? That's it. That's where we're going. Let's talk a little about the Turkish flag. Do I win? You win. Throws paprika in the eyes.
Starting point is 00:59:56 So then after Bill got in the boat and took off, the crowd then moved in and attacked John. A reporter wrote, quote, and hammered and kicked Morris while he lay upon the ground until the wonder he was not killed.
Starting point is 01:00:12 A group of Tammany Hall politicians moved in and saved John. Move, move, move. We make law. The first time the New York legislature moved quickly. Yeah. Oh, local. Though badly beaten, John survived.
Starting point is 01:00:32 A couple weeks later, Bill was in a bar when John came in. John walked up and spit in Bill's face then whipped out his gun. He aimed at Bill and pulled the trigger. But the hammer jammed. The same thing happened when they were making the dandy porn.
Starting point is 01:00:50 Happens. So he threw the gun to the floor. Bill then pulled out his own gun and was about to shoot, but a friend of John said, you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you? Well, you just tried to shoot me! Yeah, but not now. Now it's on the ground. Because you're right.
Starting point is 01:01:06 It would be rude. So Bill threw his gun to the floor, reached over the lunch counter. This is a fucking 80s movie! Dropping the gun when you have the drum on the guy! No, no, no, no. I want to make this interesting. Jesus' criminy! That is amazing!
Starting point is 01:01:22 I owe so many apologies. I know! And then he started singing Sister Christian by Night Ranger. So he reached over the counter and grabbed two knives and stabbed them into the bar. Okay, so the guy's like, you wouldn't shoot him, would you? You're right, that would be fucked up.
Starting point is 01:01:44 I'll just cut the fuck out of him. Well, so he says, there you son of a bitch, take your pick. I'll fight you for them. John was not about to fight Bill with the weapon that he preferred. Then a dozen cops rushed in and the two men were arrested, but then they were taken outside
Starting point is 01:02:00 and allowed to leave as long as they promised to go straight home. Hey, you are cleft! We're not doing this! I'm going to need pinky swears. Yeah. That's called white privilege. The police took him to Burger King afterwards.
Starting point is 01:02:22 So John did go home, but Bill the butcher went to another bar. Inside were John's friends. I think Bill has a problem. Yeah. Inside there were John's friends, Baker McLaughlin and a few others. Baker was an ex-cop who was...
Starting point is 01:02:38 I make bread for his meat. So, hello. The butcher and the baker? There was a candlestick baker, right? First, yeah. We'll get there. I'll fight him with candles. Can we talk to you for a minute?
Starting point is 01:02:54 You're going to get killed. Come on, light them as long as I don't move too fast, they won't go out. Doily Larry! Doily Larry. Let's go! I've got a doily in my pocket. I know, doily.
Starting point is 01:03:10 First of all, crazy decision to keep it in your pocket. Well, I whip it out! Doily, doily! I get defraud when I unfold it. Doily, doily. Remember when you fought Jeff the sword? Oh, yeah. I've got to cut right through you.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Through the doily? Especially, the doily went right away. But I've got a name! No, it's not good. I'm a holy terror. You didn't count on toothpick Timothy, did you? She-ching-ching. She-ching-ching.
Starting point is 01:03:42 She-ching. I'm fighting a guy with a gun. Oh, fuck. I'm fighting two gun Tommy. Oh, shit. Oh, would you like some water, Walter? Would you care for some water? Would you like some? Are you thirsty?
Starting point is 01:03:58 I'll give you some. Fight me, do whatever. Be hydrated is my thing. So Baker was an ex-cop who, a judge said, had quote, a most unaccountable passion for disorderly scenes and associates. Good.
Starting point is 01:04:14 He had once been in a fight with Hire, and Hire beat the shit out of him and left him for dead on the street. But after that, Bill the butcher felt like Baker was the hire during the fight in which he was left beaten unconscious.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Where's your protocol? Have you no honor? So a little while later, Bill also fought Baker and almost beat him to death. Bill said he would eventually send Baker to an undertaker. Little rhyme. Little rhyme.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Now there's rapping. Baker never traveled the loan after that. So in comes Baker with a bunch of his friends and there's Bill the butcher. McLaughlin, who did not have a nose because it was bitten off in a fight, What does it smell like?
Starting point is 01:05:02 Describe it. He walked over and purposely bumped into Bill. And when Bill turned, McLaughlin spat in Bill's face and challenged him to a fight. Bill put five $10 gold pieces on the bar and offered to fight
Starting point is 01:05:20 to take the bet. At that point, another Tammany Hall guy pulled out a cult revolver aimed at Bill and then accidentally shot himself in the arm. I see why they stick to fists for the most part.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Son of a bitch! I got him! Myself. Here's a tip, boys. When you put out the gun, don't put this one in front of it. How do you even do that? You have to be so nervous. Maybe you're spinning in a circle?
Starting point is 01:05:54 Even then, it's hard. It is very hard. You need to be swaying, like moving your arms around a lot. Yeah. So he screamed after shooting himself and then shot again and this time he hit Bill in the leg. Baker then whipped out his pistol
Starting point is 01:06:10 and put it against Bill's chest and shot twice. So that's gotta hurt. Yeah, it's not good. And then somehow shot himself in the ass. It's about to have a frying pan. Shot himself. I don't know how that worked.
Starting point is 01:06:26 I put it right up against his chest. Somehow, I pulled a trigger and my ass is rocked. I don't know how. We got to do something about these guns. So Bill the butcher falls down and then manages to get back up on his feet and he grabs a carving knife.
Starting point is 01:06:42 At this point, all of John's friends ran out of the bar as Bill ran screaming he was going to kill Baker. He'll be back. And so he's saying he's gonna kill Baker, he throws a knife at the door
Starting point is 01:06:58 barely misses one of them and then he collapses. But Bill was not dead though. This is an 80's movie. He manages to hold on for two more weeks even though he had a bullet in his heart. They made
Starting point is 01:07:14 a lot of tougher stuff back then. What? How do you even... I think it was drinking six whiskeys a day at the age of 11 that did it really. Plus he's a butcher, he probably just sitting around eating raw meat 24-7.
Starting point is 01:07:30 If he's a butcher, he's probably in there, he's like I'll just slice this a little thinner. Slice a little tighter. He did die two weeks later. Why? What happened? I'm a fan, I watched the show. I wanted to get it on that.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Why? Another thing off the bucket list. Obviously well timed. Same page. His last words were goodbye boys, I die a true American. Wow. I thought it was me.
Starting point is 01:08:10 I think it's the heart that did it. Bill's funeral was a huge event. The streets along the procession were packed. Across from Bill's house, a carpenter owned a shop. People climbed all over the two-story building and soon every inch of the roof was taken up. Then the stairs gave way and then the roof
Starting point is 01:08:28 and then the whole building collapsed and four were killed in 30 inches. Can I make my point about how not having TV led to some really drastically terrible outcomes? It's like, what are we going to do? Oh, this guy is dead. We're going to look at his casket for a while.
Starting point is 01:08:44 Oh, no, we're all dead now. Where are we pre-gaming? We pre-gaming the funeral? So the procession started. Several hundred... What I missed, is a guy 13 yet or what? Bill lived with
Starting point is 01:09:00 a bullet in his heart for two weeks. He's dead now. Several hundred police marched out front. Behind them were 2,000 of Bill's associates then other gangs from other cities behind them and then the fire station Bill had been a member of. At Grand Street,
Starting point is 01:09:16 500 working butchers in their aprons knelt. It's all right. Our Lord and Savior. Sorry, we're not cutting ham today. As you can see, the ham is at half ham. We're flying the beef at half
Starting point is 01:09:32 massed. Beef is at half price because we're flying all the meats at half price today. It's actually a two for one, but we're saying that we're hanging it at half mass. But it's a two for one. Whatever you get, two for one
Starting point is 01:09:48 because we are honoring a man today. Not over a pound though. If you get more than a pound we'll go to regular rates because we're not giving away the meat. It is a shame that he's gone. But again, it is a two for one. We're flying the meat at half
Starting point is 01:10:04 massed. And mustard is also a quarter off because it's an honor. Bags are a dime. If you get a bunch and you want it, we're charging for bags now. We just... but uh...
Starting point is 01:10:22 Foul's the same. Not doing anything weird with foul. So if you want some of that we'll... Again, beef is flying at half mass. Which means two for one, not above a pound. Mustard's a quarter off of bags again. Go ahead, do your thing. I just...
Starting point is 01:10:40 I don't want to... So the funeral procession went to Brooklyn where Bill de Butcher was laid to rest and then they broke up and Bill's gang headed back to Canal Street. There they met a large group of John Morrissey followers as well as a bunch of dead rabbits. Soon
Starting point is 01:10:56 their stones and bricks were being thrown then pistols were being fired. The fighting went on for an hour until an army regiment moved in to stop it and several died. It's a hell of a funeral. Hell yeah. Yeah, that's how you do it. Yeah. The casket people were like,
Starting point is 01:11:12 this has been a good day. Good day. All things considered. With John's nemesis dead, he began to grow in political power. He had a son. He fought his last fight against John Heeman and won fairly easily and beat Heeman. Quite a feat.
Starting point is 01:11:28 He now owns several gambling houses and was a partner in others and he was a growing political influence in Tammany Hall. He had become untouchable and the police let him do anything he wanted. That's never good. Well, he started running with more power and a wealthy crowd
Starting point is 01:11:44 like the Vanderbilts and the mayor. He bought a place in Saratoga Springs, a resort town 30 miles north of Troy. Congratulations. Things are good in the back if anyone wants to rob the gentleman. There he opened a race track
Starting point is 01:12:00 and bought several horses. Wait a minute. Is Sarasota a race track? He made it. Holy crap. I learned something today. That's awesome. He bought horses. The entire venture was very successful. The rich and famous
Starting point is 01:12:16 made their way to Saratoga for a day at the races. It became a premier 19th century destination with visitors like Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Mark Twain, future presidents Chester A. Arthur, Rutherford Hayes, Ulysses Grant. But unfortunately for Morrissey, although he was well
Starting point is 01:12:32 liked and very wealthy, he was never fully accepted into the upper ranks of American society because they still didn't like the Irish. What is it going to take? That and he had like 15 knuckle prints in his forehead.
Starting point is 01:12:48 He just told like where I'm from as blood's coming out of his forehead. Just because I've got a bit of exposed brain. Just because you can see some of my brain and when I shout blood shoots out of my head people treat me like I'm crazy. It's unbelievable. This day and age.
Starting point is 01:13:04 It's a shame. His status as an immigrant prevented him from becoming an elite. Morrissey successfully ran for Congress and served two terms in the House of Representatives. So this is it just
Starting point is 01:13:20 it wouldn't happen today, Dave. It would not happen today. I mean, no way. That's true in the sense that I can't imagine anyone in Congress beating up literally anyone. Like, I can't think of a single person in government
Starting point is 01:13:36 who could beat up a single other person. It would be so much better. Oh my God. When you see like, I mean, you know, you see like a random video of like some like, you know, like a government in like Russia or Japan where people have just had enough
Starting point is 01:13:52 and chairs are being thrown. You're like, if that was happening. That would rule. Something would shift. I mean, we could at least like, yeah, fights in the house and then you can bet on the outcome. Yeah. Pain on the national debt. I can't imagine someone whose brain has been turned to
Starting point is 01:14:08 fluid from years of being involved in entertainment, being elected to public office. That doesn't make any sense. We've come a long way. He was known as a champion of Irish American interests, never forgetting his roots. He also tried to achieve his
Starting point is 01:14:28 legislative goals through threats and intimidation. One time, boasting on the floor that he could lick any man in the house. Just ask that dandy, I turned out. It was all anti-snake legislation. And the young congressman, Mark Foley, took him up on it.
Starting point is 01:14:52 It's a little, uh, second term bush humor. I don't know if you all remember that. We do a lot of second term bush humor here. Morris eventually turned on his backers from Tammany Hall and he attempted an internal coup to take over Tammany Hall and played a key
Starting point is 01:15:08 role in testifying against Boss Tweed once his endless corruption finally broke it out into scandal. He was eventually ousted from Tammany Hall and went on to form a rival political organization, Irving Hall. I mean, it's a step up from the rival
Starting point is 01:15:24 of Tammany Hall, but it's not much better. John then served as a New York state senator in 1875, but his political career was cut short by a fatal case of pneumonia in 1878. Yeah, that's what gets most of you. That's what gets most of you back then.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Angry Gardner went on to become one of the first celebrity born again Christians in America. I thought you were going to say, ironically, Angry Gardner did the flower arranging at his funeral and it was beautiful. Or if it's terrible, boy,
Starting point is 01:16:02 these are just all over the place. I heard that! I'm trolling! That's the normal tale. Normal tale. The New York classic. David.
Starting point is 01:16:24 David. Can I just say that I'm glad that Irish Americans have learned from the experience of being considered a lesser race and are now egalitarians who believe in equality for all people.
Starting point is 01:16:40 And thank you, Irish Americans. Yes, very good. Cheers. Thank you, everybody, so much for coming out, truly. Thank you. So, yeah, we don't have a lot of time, but we are... Well, you guys are backwards.
Starting point is 01:17:00 I have some posters for sale and we'll be up there. I think there's a balcony out there. We'll figure it out up there. We'll sell posters and take pictures and stuff over there. And thank you so much! Thank you!

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