The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 258 - Bill the Butcher and John Morrissey (Live in NYC)
Episode Date: April 17, 2017Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Virgil Texas and Matt Christman of the Chapo Trap House podcast. Â SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH...
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We were talking logistics. We were thinking about where to sit. You guys saw us
have our sit-down conversation. Thank you for the Gareth chant one person and
that is a movement shut up sir. That lady is a kid to us. Yeah no she's an
inaccuracy. How are you on the balcony? The Lincolns. Thank you for coming out.
Yes thank you. I know you guys drove a long ways. Yes we know you drove far.
Ladies and gentlemen we have two guests. I added another one. I don't know if you
know Mr. Woody Allen but our guests are Woody Allen and Bill Cosby. Yeah so this
is how we drink tonight. These guys do a podcast that I love. Some of you
probably get mad at them because they say they're controversial but I love
their podcast it's called Chopo Trap House which is based on your favorite
rappers. Yeah you know that? Yeah. It's his favorite. He loves a heavy mic or
whatever his name is. Killer mic. Yep. And he's losing weight asshole. Is he? Yeah
he's at the gym all the time. He's crushing it. How do you know he's at the
gym all the time? You're good though? Okay. So Matt Kershman and Virgil Texas
bring them out. They're hilarious. From Chopo Trap House. I talked about one of
your one of the episodes of the podcast and I said you really got to listen to
this one because there's a guy who's in Syria fighting but he's from Brooklyn or
something and and I said you guys have listened to this and like 30 people sent
me messages like I don't know what name you were saying. I slowed it down chop
oh chop chop. So I ended up getting a salad. Yeah I don't take any credit for
that. I don't really understand modern hip-hop. If it were up to me the podcast
would have been called Young M.C.'s Fresh House probably. I keep it at 1600 was
taken.
Anyway watch watch their podcast. Right? No I don't think that's the right. Pretty
sure. I got something right here. Yeah. Do we want to say? Do you want me? Oh we
got to say a thing. Oh yeah. Oh fuck you guys almost fucked it up. Earless. I'm not
good at this. Free bird. No sit. We're not we don't do it. It's not like a pledge of
allegiance. Say that. Take off your hat. I will do whatever you say to do. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of
Absurdity coming out next month. I mean come on. May night to be specific but who's counting. Ladies and gentlemen you're
listening to the dollop. This is a bi-weekly American History podcast each week.
I, Dave Anthony, comedian, actor, writer, husband. Oh my god. Cousin. Cousin? Where's everyone's a fucking cousin? Dave?
Stepbrother? X? X stepbrother? You saying your name again in the intro? Dad? Doggy dad? Dave Anthony? Yeah.
Read your story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
But crazy intro from you. Not good. I keep it real. I don't think that's the case. Do I keep it real? I think you keep it
1600. See I love that. I love that phrase. Virgil just felt intimidated by your glare. February 12, 1831. It was a very good year.
Always, always a good era. Get your Irish accent. Ah fuck. John Morrissey was born in
Templemore, Ireland. His parents lived a typical life of poverty in Ireland. Sure.
This crib's a fucking shambles. Two years later his parents immigrated to the
United States to find a better life. Sure. What's going on with your mic? It cuts in
and out. It's a feature. That's good. You pay for that? I gave the guy extra. Hey make
this thing cut in and out. They settled in Troy, New York. Yeah. Oh boy. I heard keys.
I heard keys, Jank. There we go. Boom. Right in reserve on the ready. Someone knows their
fucking job. All right. And he's out. That's how you do it. Get out of here. That's how you do it.
He's going to get yelled at. After the show he's going to get yelled at. You need to solve the
problem immediately. I don't give a shit. Oh, I wish we went back to that other month. Red,
one job to do. So John's father, Timothy, enjoyed drinking and fighting. Wait, was
Irishman? Yeah, he was Irish. Now he is Irish. He's an Irish guy. He is Irish. And his likes again.
Drinking and fighting. This is crazy stuff. I don't know. I mean you're only going to hear
this here, gang. I'm going to need more citations on this. I need to see the bibliography. He
worked on the Hudson River docks and was paid a dollar and six drinks of whiskey a day. They
had a good union back then. That's what it was strong. Smart. Yeah, I have never gotten more
than one drink of whiskey at a job in my life. We're not working for less than five. You don't
want to negotiate the dollar at all. The what? No, what? What? If I'm not seeing double by the
end of the day, I'm fucking quitting. What the fuck can I do with a dollar? We'll give you a
dollar and six drinks. Hello? Are you guys still? What's going on? All right, I was talking to you.
Sing a song of six drinks. The couple cranked out seven more kids, all girls. Yeah, that drunk
womb liked the ladies. Strangely, having eight kids led to more poverty. What? That's weird,
because when you do the math, that should result in more food. Right. Yeah. How many drinks did
the kids get? We won't settle for anything last turn, one and a half. If I don't get a dimple
for the whiskey. So young John was forced to get a job when he was 11. That was just the time,
you guys. Yeah, he worked at a wallpaper factory for $2 a week. So he's already doing better than
his dad. How many drinks, though? 17 drinks a day. Oh, dad, you're up at my arse at the old
wallpaper factory again. After a year, he got a job at an iron mill for $5 a week. And when he
was 15, he was making $9 a week at a stove company. I mean, that's great money, but his jobs are not
exciting. This is the American dream. Oh, I missed a simple wallpaper times. Yeah, but you've got to
take a look at my resume. Yeah, you see a wallpaper and I'm forgetting the stove game now. I don't
be fun. I'm a self-stove starter. You see, libertarianism works. You start a job at 11, you
build a CV, and then by age 13, you're working in a wallpaper factory getting $5 and God knows
how many whiskeys. Yeah. Yeah, it's all coming together. Ryanomics works. But the family was still
always on the brink of destitution. John grew bitter and angry that he had to work, and he started
fighting a lot. Wait a minute. This, I'm just confirming. This is an Irishman. Yes. And he was
fighting? He started fighting, yeah. It was very common then for Irish factory workers to settle
arguments with fist fights. Yeah, one words won't do. For his age, John was very large and very
strong, and he could take a punch. He was soon known as one of Troy's best brawlers. Grown men
became afraid of the teenager, John Morrissey, which was a big deal because Troy was a place where
men were commonly beaten to death in the mills, factories, and docks. Commonly? Yeah. How tough
is this, John Morrissey? Well, put it this way, he's still alive. Boy, Timothy's taking a long
lunch break, isn't he? Oh, he got beaten to death. He didn't hear. No, he's not with us any longer.
Yeah, we're hiring. Oh, it's, you know, when your day comes, your day comes. It just is life in the
factory. With his reputation as a fighter, when he was 16, John was approached to be the bouncer
at a brothel. Sure. John demanded $20 a week, which was a huge sum at the time, and the owner
balked. So John decided to prove he was worth it. At the bar in the brothel was an infamous
dock worker and brutal brawler who had gouged out the eyes of several opponents. His name was
Biber McGeehan. What was his name? Biber McGeehan. Biber McGeehan. I mean Biber McGeehan. That sounded
better in my head. John pointed at him and looked at the owner and said, you want me to prove it?
Big Biber McGeehan's at the bar. Will he do as a sample? And the owner said, yes. So Morrissey
walked over. So he asked the owner, can I go beat the fuck out of him? He was like, yeah, for sure.
How about I beat the shit out of Biber? Yeah, I'll go kill him. The guy over there who's like
not doing anything wrong and is paying his bills. Biber. Could beat the shit out of him. You want
the job? Go handle this guy who keeps gouging out eyes. We can't deal with it. We need someone.
So he knocks out Biber with one punch and got the job for $20 a week. That's a good interview.
Yeah. Put it on the resume. Yeah. I gotta try that next time. And I could fix stoves. I'll
say your wild paper's peeling. Just saying. And he was worth it after a series of beatings of
customers. Word got out. You've got to go to this brothel. You can get your shit kicked right out
of you. I don't even have sex with the women anymore. This guy beats the fuck out of you.
I mean, I know you think you got the shit kicked out of you, but you haven't got the
shit kicked out of you till you get John Morrissey to kick the shit right out of you.
Well, now that Biber's gone. Now I just come when I go there and get punched. I don't need to go
near the ladies. They've discovered an entire new fetish. It's like, I realized after I went a few
times, I wasn't really interested in the ladies anymore. You know, the whole time I was putting
it inside her, I was just thinking, what a time that guy beat the crap out of me.
Boy, he really took a hold of my hand and my heart. He really did.
So the brothel became known as a place that did not mess around. But that's a weird policy for a
brothel. Oh, you got to go here. They don't mess around. No funny business. Wait, that's what
I'm mainly interested in. But John Sue grew tired of beating up locals and started dreaming of
beating up people in the big city. You got to picture that. And the way you have to picture
that is like he's he just beats up somebody and he throws him out and then he goes to like the
outside and he looks in the like sky and he's like, there's got to be more to this.
Someday I'll beat the shit out of fancy people. You're a dreamer. I got no greater dream than
knocking the monocle out of a motherfucker's face. My head's in the clouds again. He's skipping stones.
I'd be loose. So he got a job as a deckhand on a riverboat. And he fell in love with the captain's
daughter, Susie Smith, who was educated and refined and way above his pay grade. But he
still began to pursue her. Meanwhile, he was like a gunfighter in the old West, dock workers and
crew shipmen ship crewmen, sorry, had heard of him. And he was often just challenged to fight.
So guys in the docks like that's the one, right? Let's go big boy. That's the one is really good
at being the shit out of people. I want to fight you. I relate to that because I'm often find
myself at a bar or gathering and someone challenges me to a podcast off. You're the guy.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. I got a microphone. You start. Throw the first gym. I just want to
live my life, man. I just want to live my life. Yeah, but pretty simple beyond HBO's pod off.
That's a hell of a show. I hear it's doing poorly. But John would always beat the crap out of all
the challengers. And when he was 17, he joined a gang. He's 17? Yes. In my head, in my head,
we've gone to 28 or 30. 17. He's looking to settle down. He's 17. The fuck. He was just 15.
A 16 year old's in front of your brothel like, yeah, yeah, I'm in charge here. Well, this is a
good math problem. It's like if John is 15, and then he quits bouncing because he's beaten up
everybody in Troy, New York in at 17. How long does it take to beat the shit out of everyone
in Troy, New York? Yeah. That's right. So he joined a gang called the downtown gang.
Where were they located?
And their rivals were the uptown gang. Okay, so these are the first two gangs ever.
You got to give them a break. These are like the first ever gangs. For sure. It takes a while to
like get the hang of naming your group. You know, I don't like those downtown gentlemen. Yeah. I
wish there was a group for guys like us. Uptowners. You just said it. What are we going to call
ourselves? The pants wearers. All right, no more pitching from you. No, I think we want to go
geographical. Cut ourselves the cape. Uptowners. Guys who like dogs gang. Yeah, guys who like dogs.
Hey, downtowners, where are the guys who like dogs? Let's have a spitball again. I don't think
we're hitting it. We might let's circle back after lunch. Let's all have a night. They got it. Come
back with some names. But I do like guys who like dogs. One day at Lawrence's saloon, John came
across the leader of the uptowns, John O'Rourke. They fought and John beat the living shit out of
him. Then eight other uptowns attacked John. Not at once. One at a time. Wait. So every time you
watch a movie and you see the guy fighting and the six other guys like, oh man, when he's done
fighting that guy, I'm going to jump in and fight him too. That actually happened. That yeah, that
happened. I owe Steven Seagal a huge apology. Huge apology. I was just watching all those
movies like bullshit. Hey, did you guys think about doing it at once? No, we respect the man.
Be fair. And he beat the shit out of the guys one by one. This battle made John a legend in Troy
and an article was written about him in the New York Daily Tribune. 17 year old wonder boy.
His ex boss from the brothel was on a trip to New York City and he talked up John in the America's
club, saying he could beat anyone. Guys in the city were not down with this idea. Dutch Charlie
Dwayne. What? Dutch Charlie Dwayne. Okay. Where is he from? Yeah. Spain. I'm Dutch Charlie Dwayne.
And I come from Spain. One of the first irony bros. Where are the irony boys? We're not a gang.
Wait. We're just friends. Why did they come to a brawl? Get it? Let's go boys.
So Dutch Charlie Dwayne took offense to this boasting and said to the brothel owner,
there ain't a man in the place that couldn't murder that farmer or yours. Just send him down
and I'll agree to bite his ears off. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. So the fighting is different. Yeah.
Starting with the hard sell. When I do an ear package.
When this message was relayed to John, he decided to head to New York City and take Dutch Charlie
up on it. So he's in Troy and a guy comes up and says, there's a guy down in New York City.
He wants to bite your ears off and he's like, let's go. When's the next boat? I'll drive.
Well, I mean it beat dying of tomean poisoning or whatever else was going to happen to him.
There weren't a lot of options. He did want to go to the big city.
Yeah. No, finally. Yeah, it kind of works out. You know, I've been wanting to go to the big city.
This ear biting trip gives me a reason.
So he arrived and headed straight to the America's club, which was where every criminal hung out.
Little did John know, but he had entered the toughest hangout of the nativists.
These were the anti-immigrant anti-catholic gang members. Looking young, clean shaven,
17 year old John entered and asked for a Dutch eye, Dutch Charlie Dwayne.
I'm here to have my ears bitten.
No, I told have an appointment.
Are you busy? I mean, I hear there's a gentleman.
I'll wait here if it's required.
If there's a gentleman here who likes to nibble ears, is that?
But Dutch Charlie was not there. Bill Poole was there, and he surmised this was the kid from Troy.
And John said, yeah, that's exactly who he was.
And then John said, Bill looked like his mother was a whore.
So he's going right in.
And also disparaging his mother.
A little bit. A little bit. She takes a little shrapnel on this one.
Yeah, I haven't seen a whore like you since my mom.
What?
Fuck you. I'm sorry. What? I don't know.
He figured he'd have a fist fight with this Bill guy, but instead someone hit John on the back of the head with a spittoon.
That's the time.
That was the third largest cause of death.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. It's the third largest cause of death.
Oh, yeah. It's the new lightning.
In moments, everyone in the bar started hitting and kicking John.
He went down and was lying on the floor as they kicked him, gushing blood.
You mean he was lying going like, I'm fine. I'm standing up.
I'm winning this fight.
He went down. He actually went down.
Oh, he was lying on the floor.
So he's down there gushing blood.
I get it. Here we go. I get it.
They do finally.
Wait a minute. So they didn't obey Seagal rules.
They did not obey all at once.
These guys are not Troy New York City in the bad bar.
I mean, yeah, this is not what the uptown boys do.
We don't Seagal here.
Yet somehow John managed to get back on his feet.
Everyone in the bar was amazed considering the beating he had just taken.
And then he actually started throwing punches and landing blows.
Then someone hit him on the back of the head with a club and he was out cold.
That's tough. Right in the midst of a comeback.
Bill pulled out a knife and walked over and was about to kill John.
When the owner of the America's club stepped in and saved him.
He was way too impressed with what he had just seen from John.
And he told them this was too good of a fighter to just kill off.
Then John was taken upstairs and spent several days healing in bed.
Jesus.
So now it is like a Seagal movie again.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not this one, boys. There's a fire in him.
And then the love interest is up there like bathing him.
And he's like, what's your deal? Oh, I'm...
That actually is a lot like interning at Google.
Like after they beat the shit out of you, if they see something in you,
they'll spare your life and let you become an intern.
This is actually, this is the beginning of Google, this story.
So Bill allowed him to live, but he had a new enemy.
Now Bill was born, Bill Poole was born in Sussex County, New Jersey to English parents.
In 1832, his father moved the whole family to New York City
to open a butcher shop in Manhattan.
As people dreamed of.
I want to work around meat.
Oh, that was Irish.
You know, I know we haven't developed refrigeration yet,
but I'd really like to work around a bunch of slaughtered beef carcasses.
I love cutting bone.
It's a passion.
Everyone listening is like, what's happening?
Yeah. So Bill trained to be a butcher with his dad,
and in time he took over the family meat shop.
He also joined the Bowrie Boys Street gang.
Oh boy.
See, they're progressing.
That's a little more catchy than the downtowners in the uptowner.
Well, we were skipping over when marketing was invented.
But it's also just the name of the place they're from,
so it's not any different than the uptown boys.
All right, that's fair.
Yeah, you're right.
Still, back to the drawing board.
They're from a better location.
The Bowrie Boys were working men,
labors, or self-employed small businessmen.
As Bill Grolder, he joined Fire Engine Company number 34.
So now he's in one of those crazy fire outfits.
And he started his own gang called the Washington Street Gang,
I assume, from Washington Street.
Gang in the name of the gang?
Yeah.
If only we knew where they were located.
Strike up at their headquarters.
It's just got a more and more specific, the next one.
This is Steve's house gang.
We're 86 Wells Street.
Apartment five.
Why?
That's the gang name.
Social security number 329.
Five, seven, six.
It's pound six, nine, one.
You get in the door, it'll buzz.
Why?
That's the gang name.
Ask for Bobby.
What is your deal?
So the jackets are going to be more than we thought.
The Washington Street Gang was a politically-affiliated gang.
They were militant supporters of the Know Nothing party.
So Know Nothing's here tonight.
We all know about them.
They're in the White House.
David.
Oh, what have I done?
Who got sassy?
David.
They bitterly opposed Irish...
Give them a minute.
No.
They bitterly opposed the Clown Street Gang,
which is in Congress.
Am I right, folks?
Am I right?
What about the Clowns?
Our guest PJ O'Rourke is here tonight.
They bitterly opposed Irish Catholic immigration
and hated them because they were cheap labor
and they competed for jobs of native-born men.
They took their jobs.
They've also beat up every man in Troy, New York.
Yeah.
That's true.
I'd be like, hey, we got to do something about these Irishmen.
Kicking the shit out of everybody.
We got to get rid of this Troy, New York sanctuary city.
We should call the Troy, New York Sanctuary Gang.
Bill was a bit of a pioneer
as he began using street fighters to dominate a democratic society.
So he's the first guy that was like,
let's hit the streets and just beat the fuck out of people voting.
That's smart.
And then...
There's always a trailblazer.
And then later, Mussolini would be like, that's a cool idea.
Yeah.
Bill joined forces with Captain Isaiah Reinders,
who was the owner of the America's Club.
He was also a terrible racist who had left Tammany Hall
to join the Know-Nothings, and he really liked Bill Poole.
Bill was larger than most men at the time, over six feet tall,
weighing 200 pounds.
His nickname became Bill the Butcher.
Wait, oh yeah, here we go.
I didn't know they would be fans of him.
Yeah.
I love his early stuff.
The eye, the whole thing.
Part of this was because when he fought, he fought like a madman.
So when John Morris, he came into the club
and offered to fight anyone there,
he was daring a man much larger than he was.
John was just six feet tall, 175 pounds.
So John is huge for the time.
For the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, everybody was really tiny back then.
And he's like 17.
Yeah, well, he's halfway through his life.
He's Benjamin Button, so he's 14 now.
Oh, he goes backwards.
He's going backwards.
He's like, Mork.
Okay, got it.
I didn't realize we were doing Mork.
It seems like basically you had like everyone out,
everyone, the normal people,
and then you had the guys who dominated
because they had the innovative idea of eating protein.
Everyone else is just gnawing raw potatoes,
and they're like, what if I eat beef?
When my arms broke again, keeps happening.
You had the normal people,
and then you had what's called Irishman.
So he, John didn't really like the no nothings
because he's an Irish Catholic guy.
But even though they're an anti-Catholic organization,
he started working for them as an immigrant runner.
Okay, so he'd run the grants.
So he would go down to the docks
when the immigrants were coming off the boats,
and he would take all their belongings and money,
and then take them to a boarding house or brothel to work,
and then they were now in debt.
Wait.
So you came over as an immigrant,
you're like, I've got to start to make life over.
You sure are, pal.
You've got a big bunch of money and all your stuff.
Give me all your stuff.
What's happening now?
Hey, this is where you live.
What?
You don't have anything, but I do.
Now you owe rent.
How do I get that?
Well, how do you get that?
So they would also be forced to vote for the no nothings.
Oh, you don't have a bottle opener.
Oh.
Oh, look at this guy over here.
You got a couple of MacGyver's.
Look at this, fellas.
Whoa, someone's an alcoholic.
To be fair, alcoholics use their teeth.
That's not to be crazy.
So John quickly became one of the top two immigrant runners,
and he tried to get the other top immigrant runner to fight him.
Because?
Just because he was there because...
There can only be one.
Highlanders!
We are Highlanders.
First, he stole a bunch of the guy's business,
and the guy didn't do anything.
And then he started fucking the guy's girlfriend.
There we go.
But the guy was like, oh, I saw right.
Oh, she's gone through another one of her phases.
She fucks me, Nemesis.
This is the story of the time.
This is the story of the 2016 Republican primaries.
You ever hoarded the word cook?
Finally, he went to the guy,
went to where the guy was in a bar,
and they brawled.
During the fight, he must have just been like,
what does it take to fight you?
I'm staking your money, I'm fucking your lady!
Hi, do you want to drink?
Drink your dog!
Sir, may we please fight?
Oh, there you go.
You should have said that to her fucking dog.
How about some manners, son?
Well, I'm in love with your life.
During the fight, hot coals were knocked out of a stove.
And then the other guy grabbed John
and pushed him and held him down on the hot coals.
Fuck.
This is really hitting a lot of 80s movie stereotypes.
This is where all Seagal's ideas came from.
His back was badly burnt,
but John just became more angry
and then destroyed the other guy,
knocking out a bunch of his teeth,
breaking his nose, and breaking his jaw.
So, I think it's safe to say his face got broken.
Yeah, he punched him in the face a bunch,
everything that was there...
Everything in his face was gone.
Yeah, the lower part.
I think he left the forehead.
He's like, I'll leave you your forehead.
Yeah, so you can remember this.
John walked out acting like he was fine,
but he had burns that would scar him
for the rest of his life.
From this fight, he picked up the name Old Smoke.
Even though he's, what, 12?
Yeah, he's nine and a half at this point.
Yeah, but he sounds like Jerky.
What about Jerky John?
Oh, no, I don't like that one.
No, Jerky John will get upset.
We already have a Jerky John.
How are you guys liking the Venison?
And now, John Morris, he was the talk of New York.
But John didn't really like his job.
He didn't, like, take advantage of immigrants.
He's running immigrants.
He's running immigrants.
So, he wanted a more honorable life.
Sure.
So, he quit and got a job in a gambling house.
Sure, yeah.
Right on. Time for honor.
Victimless crime.
After learning all about gambling,
the Gold Rush hit California,
and John headed off there to get rich.
He stood away on a cargo ship with a friend,
because he didn't have any money,
so they hid down below.
A couple days later, they were found,
because they were probably just hiding behind a box.
Right.
And whoever found them got punched right into the fucking ocean.
Well, for a few days,
they'd move the box, and the two of them would just be like,
Potatoes.
Well, nothing down here.
More potatoes.
Did you hear the Potatoes? They told you.
Yeah, yeah. No, they're definitely Potatoes.
They said they were as much.
So, the captain was considering
just dumping them in Mexico
when some of the sailors on the ship attempted a mutiny.
So, the captain...
It's a great time to have them in a wheelhouse.
Right? It's, again, it's an 80's movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, the captain gave John and his friend guns,
and then the two of them held off the mutiny.
Now they have guns?
John doesn't need guns.
No, he doesn't, but he...
He has them.
And then returning got safe passage to San Francisco.
Okay.
So, when John arrived in California,
all the gold areas had been staked,
and he quickly grew bored,
and then opportunity came.
Famous boxer and American champion,
Tom Hire had arrived in the state.
Okay.
Hire was a close friend of Bill the Butcher.
So, John kept challenging him,
but Hire was more interested in partying
and the ladies.
And after a while, they couldn't take John's badgering
to fight, and he headed back to New York.
So, instead, John fought Hire's trainer.
And this was a big deal to the know-nothings
back in the America's Club,
because one of their own was fighting.
But he was so annoying, the guy was like,
I'm leaving. Yeah, he's like, I don't.
I'm going to New York. I really don't like him.
Bailey's not much of a boxer.
Yeah, but still.
Because if you're the champion, and someone's like,
I want to fight you, you're like, I'm going to go.
I got to go. That's, I mean, I don't know,
Floyd Mayweather, I mean, that's kind of his...
Yeah, you just don't fight people.
Yeah, that's true.
Someone said something controversial.
So, they fought on Mare Island outside of San Francisco,
because no law was there.
2,000 men.
Wait, where? It's illegal to fight.
So, Mare Island is a tiny island outside of
Lajo in the middle of a river.
If you want to do heroin, you got to ride
your boat all the way out there.
Oh, you can do whatever.
Do heroin. Fuck your mom.
Whatever you like.
Lawless island out there it is.
I can fuck my mommy.
I'm surprised you took that one so fast, but yeah.
Lawless island it is. Do whatever.
I just married a bloke and his dog the other night.
Do whatever you like.
My favorite thing about those areas
is how long it takes for them to figure out,
oh, there's the lawless hell
that we need to do something about.
There were no laws on islands until
the Harrison administration.
Those were the original free trade zones.
So...
So, 2,000 men came to watch
and John won in 12 rounds.
He was now the toast of California.
Word got back to the America's Club
where Bill, The Butcher, and others were not pleased.
John won 3,000 in the bout
and he used it to return to New York.
Oh, boy, so...
And he was 21 years old.
What?
What is he gonna...
How does he keep reinventing himself?
Which reminds me a lot of myself at that age.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
When he arrived in the city...
And this is before YouTube.
God.
When he arrived in the city
he became involved in politics,
but this time on the
side opposing the no-nothings.
He had graduated from being
a guy dragging immigrants
to the polls
and now he's an inside man
who did dirty, important tasks
of politicians.
He was the muscle of Tammany Hall.
So this is in wrestling terms
called a face turn.
He's bad.
He's evil hulk.
No, he was bad.
Now he's good.
Now he's good.
Before one election, Tammany politicians
heard that Bill the Butcher and his crew were planning
on raiding a polling place and destroying
all the ballots for the Tammany mayoral
candidate. On behalf of Vladimir Putin.
The Tammany politicians asked
John to stop Bill with his own crew
and John said he would do it for free.
Okay. Interesting counter.
He's got no problem there.
So John rounded up... It'd be an honor.
John rounded up 50 men from the
Dead Rabbits gang.
We're getting... We're really getting there, folks.
That's a great... That's a great...
We're from Dead Rabbits Avenue.
They literally came from a pile of Dead Rabbits.
Oh, look!
They were actually Rabbits.
We're avenging our parents.
So they armed the Dead Rabbits
with clubs and promised them a dollar each.
He placed the men...
How much whiskey?
It's just a dollar.
John, three shots each.
Okay, that's less than a dollar.
So...
I think we close out with this guy now.
We've got him right where we want him.
A dollar.
No, the three shots.
Okay, deal. Stupid.
Not much of a connoissiator.
He placed men in and around the building
and told them to defend it to the death.
He also let it be known that there would be
adverse criticism if Bill the Butcher's men
were permanently maimed
and that ears and noses would be
highly regarded as souvenirs.
Well, I mean...
Souven ears.
That's...
That's why they got that name.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Nine people sort of. Thank you.
Nine people sort of is going to be the name
of our podcast.
Bill the Butcher arrived
at noon with two dozen men
and was surprised to see John and his crew
realizing that he was greatly outnumbered.
Bill the Butcher retreated.
John was flooded with cash from Tammany Hall
as a reward.
He also cemented his reputation
as a man who could deal with Bill the Butcher
and his crew.
Tammany permitted Bill to open a small gambling house
and he started making good money.
Okay.
Someone's moving up. He's 19.
Okay.
Morrissey also went back
to taunting Hyre for a fight.
Okay.
Now I guess the guy's going to go to, like, Texas or some shit.
Yeah.
John really wanted to be champion.
So Hyre just said he was retired.
What a foiter.
Yeah.
I'm the great quitter.
So the championship was vacant.
Yankee Sullivan was said to be the other best boxer.
So John and Yankee Sullivan
fought for the championship.
Yankee Sullivan.
He sounds like a Mike Tyson's punch-out character.
So Yankee at the time
basically means native-born.
Okay, right.
That's how they distinguish each other.
And then the immigrants are just
shit people.
Okay. Well, easy distinction.
The fight was delayed two hours
while the boxer's entourage
argued over who was going to be the referee.
So they even had entourage
But no referee.
That's backwards.
They didn't think about that beforehand.
They just set a time and a place
and then they showed up and they're like,
Oh, who's doing the thing?
What if one of us stabs the other?
We should have a guy.
We should have done a conference call before this.
Bill the butcher
was in Sullivan's corner also.
So the fight started.
In under a minute, John was bleeding from his face.
Sullivan would punch
and move while John just swung
as hard as he could.
By the end of the fourth round,
quote, John's face was frightfully
carved up.
He had a swollen eye and blood was drizzling
from his nose and cheek.
His face and chest were a dark coast
of smeared crimson.
Oh.
So you don't, smeared crimson's a bad one.
It's blood. It's my favorite pride rock band.
Yeah.
And that was just the beginning.
Sullivan dominated the first 10 rounds
of the fight, but then he got tired.
Oh, man.
And the fight went on.
The 37th round.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
37?
We do nine second rounds.
37.
Yeah.
So you really are just saying who's tired
at that point.
Well, you go until someone falls over and can't get up.
Well, that's when you need your life alert.
It's really more of a carbo-loading contest
than a fight.
Like whoever had the most pasta beforehand.
They're just squirting water and like coffee
in your mouth like it's water.
There you go. Stay up.
Hi, Mawake.
So the 37th round is still considered to be
one of the craziest in boxing history.
Sullivan came out swung and missed.
John threw Sullivan against one of the
ring steaks and started pounding him.
Sullivan tried to grab onto John.
So John choked Sullivan with one hand
and started punching him with the other.
He just invented MMA?
Yeah.
This guy's an innovator.
Was there a ref? No, it's legal.
That's legal to choke.
There's no rules against choking guy.
So what is the ref doing? He's like,
legal, legal, legal, legal, legal, legal.
Yeah, kick his nuts.
Legal, legal, legal, legal.
There's no rules against choking
or a dog entering the ring.
No.
We've got a dog ring side again.
Boy, this is one lost puppy.
So to avoid the beating,
Sullivan dropped to the ground,
which is also totally legal.
You could get on the ground.
So John, I got you with a hiding rule.
I put on a big mustache.
You can't tell that I'm the fighter
or one of the spectators.
Hey, he's got his head in my shorts.
It's legal, son.
We haven't seen anything illegal.
John then started punching Sullivan
while he was on the ground.
Also totally legal.
Legal, legal. I'll let you know
when there's been an infraction.
Legal.
Then Sullivan's two corner men jumped into the ring.
At that point, John picked up...
Legal, legal, legal, legal, legal.
John picked up Sullivan
and slammed him back onto the ground.
Okay, this is wrestling.
Legal. I haven't seen anything wrong.
Legal.
Then John's corner men ran
into the ring and a melee erupted.
Drunk spectators jumped in
and soon everyone was...
Legal, legal.
All allow it.
Legal, legal, legal, legal.
All allow it.
So the referee is in the bar
next door getting shit-faced.
Legal. All allow it.
So, yeah.
Legal chaos.
John was now fighting one of Sullivan's corner men
and Sullivan was now fighting one of John's corner men
whose name was
Awful Gardener.
Whoa.
Say that name again, please.
Awful Gardener.
How are your tomatoes? Awful?
Awful had a brother named Horrible Gardener.
What?
Awful had once...
How did his parents know?
His thumbs aren't green.
You know what he'll be like
in the garden.
Betty, I think you're overthinking this.
Awful had once bitten another...
another boxer's nose off during an argument.
Which isn't really an argument
at that point.
Yeah, true.
It's a major upgrade. It's a fight.
I mean, you...
Once you've bitten a nose off, you've lost
because that's the ultimate ad hominem.
Yeah, at that point, you're...
That's coming out of your face.
Thank you for conceding my point.
Well, I think we all know who won this one.
You don't know how bad you look.
You foolish, foolish loser.
With my nose in your...
My God, I'm lightheaded.
I am not...
Eventually,
the ring was finally cleared
and the referee signaled for round 38 to start.
Nothing illegal has happened.
Next round.
But Sullivan did not come out.
Now, there are two separate reports.
One said that he did not want to continue
because he was too badly beaten.
And the other says
he would not stop fighting Awful Gardener.
Why?
What was wrong with Awful?
I mean, besides his
gardening prospects.
It was a classic subs versus dubs
argument. You know how this...
No, no, no, don't water it!
Awful.
I...
Awful.
What are you doing?
We want it to grow!
Put more plants inside of the toilet.
This is how we get a yard.
Awful.
I...
Either way, John was the
new American boxing champion.
The New York Times said
of John Morrissey in the fight,
quote, you might as well hit a brick wall
as hit that man on the head.
That's a pretty good compliment.
That was
like the third most popular spectator sport
at that time, was punching brick walls.
Man V. Wall.
Man V. Wall. Huge hit.
Big show. Travel Channel.
But the melee was not over.
After the fight, the crowd turned into a riot,
which spilled...
Now, this is not in a rural area.
So, they're riding
in, like, the middle of Kansas.
Okay.
Actually, not Kansas, but you get the...
I'm making a fuck off.
It's a hillbilly hodown, I get it.
Which spilled into neighboring farms
and small towns. They attacked farms
and houses, taking food
and booze.
They slaughtered pigs and roasted
them beside the road.
I had no idea that
the scene in Blazing Saddles,
when Alex Cirrus punches the cow
is based on a true story.
Holy shit!
So, they're like
post-game riot tailgating.
Yeah.
What if you're a farmer, you're like,
I think they're roasting our pigs.
That guy's fighting corn.
I'll show you a thing or two.
Boy, cheer, no.
Boy, cheer for you.
Boy, cheer yourself.
Yeah.
Boston Corners, Millerton
and other nearby towns were destroyed
by thousands of drunken morons.
Some locals managed
to get a train to stop, and they all jumped on it
and escaped from the mob.
They flashed down a train.
Flagging down a train.
They're punching our pigs!
It must have been his first day driving a train.
Did I stop?
Well, I think he saw them,
and then he saw the big cartoon
dust-like thing with the fists
coming out of it.
And pigs flying in and out.
Pigs flying in and out.
Cows getting, like, ribs big...
It's like, okay, yeah, I get it.
I get it. I gotta stop.
The law was eventually informed
of the mess that was happening, and they came.
The only person arrested
was Yankee Sullivan.
That's what we call reverse racism.
Yeah.
Native-born American...
I'm a Yankee!
He was put in jail
and could not afford to pay the bail.
So his buddies paid it for him,
and when he finally got out, he took off
for the West Coast, where he would eventually
be arrested by the
1856 Vigilance
Committee in San Francisco,
and he died in his cell.
That's a weird...
Well, it was a very evil cackle.
The Vigilance Committee?
Remember, we did
an episode about that in San Francisco.
They hung the guys out the window.
Oh, I do remember that.
I'm just a fan of people getting owned, historically.
Any sort of...
Any kind of audience.
I just like windmills.
Fair to.
Now, at 22...
Jesus!
How long were years?
How long were years?
How many days was a year?
Oh, years were 940 days!
Oh, sorry!
The sun took much longer to get around.
Yeah, no. This is before years.
Well, it needed a horse cart.
So it took a long time to get around.
How does he do so much in a single year?
When I was 22, I learned that
if you keep a bottle next to your bed,
you'll be gaming as long as you want.
It is astounding
what you can accomplish without the internet.
Distracting you.
That's really what you learn
when you read about the history.
Wow, these people did so much.
It's because they were fucking bored.
I can't log on to my favorite websites.
I'll literally punch a wall.
Did they ever accomplish a level 88 raid
on Angaro, on World of Warcraft?
No, I don't think they ever did.
We over-go to like a medieval torture museum
where you see these insane contraptions
and you're like, who sat and imagined that?
It's like, yeah, they didn't have TV.
They had nothing else to do.
It's like, oh, what about a big wooden
diamond and you just put your ass on it?
I don't know.
I really wish there was something I could just watch
for an hour right now.
Instead of slowly die of syphilis.
Right?
You better hurry up and make Zelda
or I'll keep making weird shit to kill people.
What's the vibe like at a torture museum?
It's chill.
I bet it is.
It's like respectful silence
but also sort of a giddy
enjoyment of the horror.
I recommend them.
It's good because
everyone has to pretend they're there
for historical enrichment
but they're actually just there to be like,
oh my god, that's so fucking gross.
Wow.
Really would hurt.
Oh, I gotta check Facebook.
Really would hurt.
So, at 22,
John Morrissey was a
household name nationwide.
Though not everyone
thought he truly won the fight
because of the way the victory happened.
So there were naysayers.
Now that he had a name,
someone brought him in to be a partner
and John was rolling in cash.
He then asked the captain's daughter
he had fell in love with years ago to marry him.
Aw.
Yes, he's a sweet story.
Then he punched her in the face.
Alright, sure.
You got to. No means no.
No.
They married and he worked at his gambling hall
and became even more involved
than Tammany Hall.
John was very influential
in getting Fernando Wood elected as mayor
and vice as well as big muscle.
So he's using his brains too.
Oh my god.
This just infuriated Bill the Butcher
and the know nothings more.
He's the fighting wonk.
The...
What happened?
He's like, you know, he wears a lanyard
but he'll also knock you out.
The fighting wonk.
Bill the Butcher
learned that this
new political consultant
consorted and certain Italian pizzerias
in the New York area
and thought he'd
uncover a conspiracy.
One night in February 1855
It's true.
One night in February 1855
John was drinking in a bar
when Bill walked in.
This was their recorded conversation.
John, quote,
there stands the black, muzzled American
fighter.
Bill responded, yes, I'm a dandy.
Yes, I'm the dandy.
I'm a dandy.
It's great that there's a time when that was like
a good comeback.
Yes, I am a dandy.
And then John said
I can lick all the dandy
out of you tomorrow evening.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
This took a turn.
This is porn dialogue, right?
And then Bill said
well I'll be your daddy.
I don't think you can lick all the dandy
off of me.
Well, I'd love to try.
After I clean the pool.
There's one of those Italian pizza
discs then delivered.
These are the most masculine men
in the entire 19th century.
John said he would bet
$50 that he could beat
Bill the Butcher. Bill agreed.
The next day they met at the Amos
Street Dock, which was in Bill's
gang's territory.
And the crowd that came... Amos Street Dock gang.
Amos?
Yeah.
Yeah, it had to be.
Yeah, legally.
They're just on that dock all the time.
We want to be the jets.
You're from the dock.
Can we be the guys in a boat
that go off the dock?
Gang?
No, we're doing addresses now.
Okay, we'll just stay here.
We're actually shooting a porno
in a minute if you'd like to stick around.
Two guys are going to lick the dandy
out of each other.
So
the crowd that came was enormous.
They were packed on the roofs
and hanging from windows.
Who is the person who's like,
I can hold this?
Bill the Butcher arrived on a rowboat.
Very fucking fancy.
Very fancy, right?
Probably throwing food to the fish.
Someone's throwing roses at him.
Harpoon that he shoots.
That's all I know.
That totally takes the shine off.
If he's like huffing
and fucking moving the goddamn oars.
He's got to be at the back waving.
In a robe, turned down for what's playing
and he's like rolling in.
Yes.
One of John's friends was an enemy.
Docking's an awkward part of that.
Super awkward.
Get the rope.
Grab the rope and throw it on the thing, will you?
Thank you.
Can we all salute to the docking to come later?
Moments away
from a dandy dock.
The dandy docking
that was to come.
The dock sucking.
And then there's just
a couple of dandy dock suckers.
There's just thousands of people watching
two guys fucking at dock.
Are they going to fight?
Who's winning? I can't tell.
We're winning.
We're winning.
I don't know how to score this.
Oh, I do.
Yama yama.
I guess that's why they call him the butcher.
I think that was a laugh from DC.
It sounded so distant.
We're piping some in.
So one of John's friends was an enemy
of Bill's brother.
Okay.
Bob the builder.
What?
His brother Bob the builder.
Bill the butcher and his brother Bob the builder.
You get it.
Anybody have kids?
Bill's brother walked up
and just punched the guy in the head.
Both groups were fighting each other.
Okay, good.
John's friends got their asses kicked
because there's many more of the no-nothing guys.
And their revolvers were taken
and then they were thrown into the river.
That's a good ending.
That's a good finishing move.
So now John's alone.
And then the boxing started.
There was no ring, they're just on the dock.
And it wasn't as much...
This is an 80's movie.
It's like...
It's like half...
It's like half Roadhouse, half Seagal.
Giant stacks of boxes
that are gonna get knocked everywhere.
You're the best in the world,
but you gotta prove it now.
Somebody comes through
and a monster truck
and drives over a boat.
I own this town.
Dig deep and fight,
gotta dig deep!
So it wasn't as much a boxing match
as a clawing wrestling match.
They were trying to gouge each other's eyes out
and bite each other's faces.
It's a good callback.
There was a long gash on Bill's cheeks
where the flesh had been torn away by his opponent's teeth.
Blood was streaming from John Morris' eyes.
According to one reporter,
Bill won the fight and John surrendered.
Then Bill got into his rowboat
and off he went.
Just got in a circle.
Turned out for what?
David, can I just interject here?
It's bugging me all night,
but I just figured out where I've heard the story
of Bill the Butcher before.
It's this man who's Turkish
and he puts salt on meats
and that's the story, right?
That's it. That's where we're going.
Let's talk a little about the Turkish flag.
Do I win?
You win.
Throws paprika in the eyes.
So then after Bill got in the boat
and took off, the crowd then moved in
and attacked John.
A reporter wrote,
quote,
and hammered and kicked Morris
while he lay upon the ground
until the wonder he was not killed.
A group of Tammany Hall politicians
moved in and saved John.
Move, move, move. We make law.
The first time
the New York legislature moved quickly.
Yeah.
Oh, local.
Though badly beaten, John survived.
A couple weeks later, Bill was in a bar
when John came in.
John walked up and spit in Bill's face
then whipped out his gun.
He aimed at Bill and pulled the trigger.
But the hammer jammed.
The same thing happened
when they were making the dandy porn.
Happens.
So he threw the gun to the floor.
Bill then pulled out his own gun
and was about to shoot, but a friend of John said,
you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you?
Well, you just tried to shoot me!
Yeah, but not now. Now it's on the ground.
Because you're right.
It would be rude.
So Bill threw his gun to the floor,
reached over the lunch counter.
This is a fucking 80s movie!
Dropping the gun when you have the drum on the guy!
No, no, no, no. I want to make this interesting.
Jesus' criminy!
That is amazing!
I owe so many apologies.
I know!
And then he started singing
Sister Christian by Night Ranger.
So he reached over the counter and grabbed two
knives and stabbed them into the bar.
Okay, so the guy's like, you wouldn't shoot him, would you?
You're right, that would be fucked up.
I'll just cut the fuck out of him.
Well, so he says, there you son of a bitch,
take your pick. I'll fight you for them.
John was not about to fight
Bill with the weapon that he preferred.
Then a dozen cops rushed in
and the two men were arrested,
but then they were taken outside
and allowed to leave as long as they promised
to go straight home.
Hey, you are cleft!
We're not doing this!
I'm going to need pinky swears.
Yeah.
That's called white privilege.
The police took him to Burger King afterwards.
So John did go home, but Bill the butcher
went to another bar.
Inside were John's friends.
I think Bill has a problem.
Yeah.
Inside there were John's friends, Baker McLaughlin
and a few others.
Baker was an ex-cop who was...
I make bread for his meat.
So, hello.
The butcher and the baker?
There was a candlestick baker, right?
First, yeah.
We'll get there.
I'll fight him with candles.
Can we talk to you for a minute?
You're going to get killed.
Come on, light them as long as I don't move too fast,
they won't go out.
Doily Larry!
Doily Larry.
Let's go!
I've got a doily in my pocket.
I know, doily.
First of all, crazy decision to keep it in your pocket.
Well, I whip it out!
Doily, doily!
I get defraud when I unfold it.
Doily, doily.
Remember when you fought Jeff the sword?
Oh, yeah.
I've got to cut right through you.
Through the doily?
Especially, the doily went right away.
But I've got a name!
No, it's not good.
I'm a holy terror.
You didn't count on toothpick Timothy, did you?
She-ching-ching.
She-ching-ching.
She-ching.
I'm fighting a guy with a gun.
Oh, fuck.
I'm fighting two gun Tommy.
Oh, shit.
Oh, would you like some water, Walter?
Would you care for some water?
Would you like some? Are you thirsty?
I'll give you some.
Fight me, do whatever.
Be hydrated is my thing.
So Baker was an ex-cop
who, a judge said, had
quote, a most unaccountable passion
for disorderly scenes and associates.
Good.
He had once been in a fight with Hire,
and Hire beat the shit out of him
and left him for dead on the street.
But after that,
Bill the butcher felt like Baker
was the hire during the fight
in which he was left
beaten unconscious.
Where's your protocol?
Have you no honor?
So a little while later,
Bill also fought Baker
and almost beat him to death.
Bill said he would eventually send Baker
to an undertaker.
Little rhyme. Little rhyme.
Now there's rapping.
Baker never traveled the loan after that.
So in comes Baker
with a bunch of his friends
and there's Bill the butcher.
McLaughlin, who did not have a nose
because it was bitten off in a fight,
What does it smell like?
Describe it.
He walked over and purposely
bumped into Bill.
And when Bill turned,
McLaughlin spat in Bill's face
and challenged him to a fight.
Bill put five $10 gold pieces
on the bar and offered to fight
to take the bet.
At that point, another
Tammany Hall guy pulled out a cult revolver
aimed at Bill
and then accidentally shot himself
in the arm.
I see why they stick to fists
for the most part.
Son of a bitch!
I got him!
Myself.
Here's a tip, boys.
When you put out the gun, don't put this one in front of it.
How do you even do that?
You have to be so nervous.
Maybe you're spinning in a circle?
Even then, it's hard.
It is very hard.
You need to be swaying, like moving your arms around a lot.
Yeah.
So he screamed after shooting himself
and then shot again and this time
he hit Bill in the leg.
Baker then whipped out his pistol
and put it against Bill's chest and shot twice.
So that's gotta hurt.
Yeah, it's not good.
And then somehow shot himself
in the ass.
It's about to have a frying pan.
Shot himself.
I don't know how that worked.
I put it right up against his chest.
Somehow, I pulled a trigger and my ass is rocked.
I don't know how.
We got to do something about these guns.
So Bill
the butcher falls down
and then manages to get back up on his feet
and he grabs a carving knife.
At this point,
all of John's friends
ran out of the bar
as Bill ran screaming
he was going to kill Baker.
He'll be back.
And so he's
saying he's gonna kill Baker, he throws a knife at the door
barely misses one of them
and then he collapses.
But Bill was not dead though.
This is an 80's movie.
He manages to hold on for two more weeks
even though he had a bullet
in his heart.
They made
a lot of tougher stuff back then.
What?
How do you even...
I think it was drinking
six whiskeys a day at the age of 11
that did it really.
Plus he's a butcher, he probably just sitting around
eating raw meat 24-7.
If he's a butcher, he's probably in there, he's like
I'll just slice this a little thinner.
Slice a little tighter.
He did die two weeks later.
Why?
What happened?
I'm a fan, I watched the show.
I wanted to get it on that.
Why?
Another thing off the bucket list.
Obviously well timed.
Same page.
His last words were
goodbye boys, I die a true American.
Wow.
I thought it was me.
I think it's the heart that did it.
Bill's funeral was a huge event.
The streets along the procession were packed.
Across from Bill's house, a carpenter owned a shop.
People climbed all over the two-story building
and soon every inch of the roof
was taken up.
Then the stairs gave way and then the roof
and then the whole building collapsed
and four were killed in 30 inches.
Can I make my point
about how not having TV
led to some really drastically terrible outcomes?
It's like, what are we going to do?
Oh, this guy is dead.
We're going to look at his casket for a while.
Oh, no, we're all dead now.
Where are we pre-gaming?
We pre-gaming the funeral?
So the procession started.
Several hundred...
What I missed,
is a guy 13 yet or what?
Bill lived with
a bullet in his heart for two weeks.
He's dead now.
Several hundred police marched out front.
Behind them
were 2,000 of Bill's associates
then other gangs from other cities behind them
and then the fire station Bill had been a member of.
At Grand Street,
500 working butchers
in their aprons knelt.
It's all right.
Our Lord and Savior.
Sorry, we're not cutting ham today.
As you can see,
the ham is at half ham.
We're flying the beef at half
massed.
Beef is at half price
because we're flying all the meats
at half price today.
It's actually a two for one,
but we're saying that we're
hanging it at half mass.
But it's a two for one. Whatever you get, two for one
because we are honoring a man today.
Not over a
pound though. If you get more than a pound
we'll go to regular rates because we're not giving away the meat.
It is a shame that he's gone.
But again, it is
a two for one.
We're flying the meat at half
massed.
And mustard is also a quarter off
because it's an honor.
Bags are a dime.
If you get a bunch and you want it,
we're charging for bags now.
We just...
but uh...
Foul's the same.
Not doing anything weird with foul.
So if you want some of that
we'll...
Again, beef is flying at half mass.
Which means two for one, not above a pound.
Mustard's a quarter off of bags again.
Go ahead, do your thing. I just...
I don't want to...
So
the funeral procession went to Brooklyn where
Bill de Butcher was laid to rest and then they broke up
and Bill's gang headed back to Canal Street.
There they met a large group
of John Morrissey followers as well as
a bunch of dead rabbits. Soon
their stones and bricks were being thrown
then pistols were being fired.
The fighting went on for an hour
until an army regiment moved in
to stop it and several died.
It's a hell of a funeral. Hell yeah.
Yeah, that's how you do it. Yeah.
The casket people were like,
this has been a good day. Good day.
All things considered.
With John's nemesis dead, he began to grow
in political power. He had a son.
He fought his last fight against John Heeman
and won fairly easily
and beat Heeman.
Quite a feat.
He now owns several gambling houses
and was a partner in others
and he was a growing political influence
in Tammany Hall. He had become untouchable
and the police let him do anything
he wanted. That's never good.
Well, he started running
with more power and a wealthy crowd
like the Vanderbilts and the mayor.
He bought a place
in Saratoga Springs, a resort town
30 miles north of Troy. Congratulations.
Things are good in the back
if anyone wants to rob the gentleman.
There
he opened a race track
and bought several horses.
Wait a minute. Is Sarasota a race track?
He made it.
Holy crap.
I learned something today. That's awesome.
He bought
horses. The entire venture
was very successful. The rich and famous
made their way to Saratoga for a day at the races.
It became a
premier 19th century destination
with visitors like
Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Mark Twain,
future presidents Chester A. Arthur,
Rutherford Hayes, Ulysses Grant.
But unfortunately for Morrissey, although he was well
liked and very wealthy, he was never
fully accepted into the upper ranks
of American society because they still
didn't like the Irish.
What is it going to take?
That and he had
like 15 knuckle prints in his
forehead.
He just told like where I'm from
as blood's coming out of his forehead.
Just because I've got a bit of exposed brain.
Just because you can see
some of my brain and when I shout blood
shoots out of my head people treat me like
I'm crazy. It's unbelievable.
This day and age.
It's a shame.
His status as an
immigrant prevented him from becoming an elite.
Morrissey successfully ran for
Congress and served two terms in the House
of Representatives.
So this is
it just
it wouldn't happen today, Dave.
It would not happen today.
I mean, no way.
That's true in the
sense that I can't imagine anyone in
Congress beating up literally
anyone. Like, I
can't think of a single person in government
who could beat up a single other
person. It would be so much better.
Oh my God.
When you see like, I
mean, you know, you see like a random video
of like some like, you know,
like a government in like Russia or Japan
where people have just had enough
and chairs are being thrown. You're like,
if that was happening. That would rule.
Something would shift. I mean,
we could at least like, yeah, fights
in the house and then you can bet on the
outcome. Yeah. Pain on the national
debt. I can't imagine someone
whose brain has been turned to
fluid from years of being
involved in entertainment, being
elected to public office. That doesn't
make any sense.
We've come a long way.
He was known as a champion of Irish
American interests, never forgetting his roots.
He also tried to achieve his
legislative goals through threats
and intimidation.
One time, boasting on the floor
that he could lick any man in the house.
Just ask that dandy, I turned out.
It was all anti-snake legislation.
And the young congressman, Mark Foley,
took him up on it.
It's a little, uh, second term
bush humor. I don't know if you all
remember that. We do a lot of second
term bush humor here.
Morris eventually turned on his backers
from Tammany Hall and he attempted an
internal coup to take over
Tammany Hall and played a key
role in testifying against Boss
Tweed once his endless corruption
finally broke it out into scandal.
He was eventually ousted
from Tammany Hall and went on to form
a rival political organization, Irving
Hall.
I mean, it's a step up from the rival
of Tammany Hall, but it's not much better.
John then served as a New York
state senator in 1875,
but his political career was cut short
by a fatal case of pneumonia
in 1878.
Yeah, that's what gets most of you.
That's what gets most of you back then.
Angry Gardner
went on to become one of
the first celebrity
born again Christians in America.
I thought you were going to say, ironically,
Angry Gardner did the flower arranging
at his funeral and it was beautiful.
Or if it's terrible, boy,
these are just all over the place.
I heard that!
I'm trolling!
That's the
normal tale.
Normal tale.
The New York classic.
David.
David.
Can I just say that I'm
glad that
Irish Americans have learned
from the experience of being considered
a lesser race and are now
egalitarians who believe
in equality for all people.
And thank you, Irish Americans.
Yes, very good.
Cheers. Thank you, everybody,
so much for coming out, truly.
Thank you.
So, yeah, we don't have a lot
of time, but we are...
Well, you guys are backwards.
I have some posters for sale
and we'll be up there.
I think there's a balcony out there.
We'll figure it out up there.
We'll sell posters and take pictures
and stuff over there.
And thank you so much!
Thank you!