The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 26 - The Subway Vigilante Bernhard Goetz
Episode Date: October 18, 2014Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Bernhard Goetz, the subway vigilante.Tour Dates Dollop MerchSourcesPatreon...
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We're just talking about Gary. Gary apparently doesn't know anything yeah
no matter what subject I throw at him he's like I haven't heard of that but
you're not a moron. No but no they're yeah you're a smart guy yeah but you've
just decided maybe to put all your energy into football or a lot of it goes
to football I have I'm a piece you are a piece of a piece okay yeah that's
terrific it's fun to learn learning is fun okay the year November 7th 1974
lovely that was when Bernard Getz was born okay he's born in Queens New York
City father was a German immigrant who ran a book binding business and a dairy
farm in upstate New York so right books and cows a lot of people get into that
yep well it's so easy to fall into the cow game after you get into binding it
really is they call it doing the double up a farmland it's the same thing yeah
yeah for sure yeah so that's where he was raised up there in upstate New York
his mother was also a German immigrant so he's raised by two Germans so he was
from German binders and milkers yes the stock was sturdy and strong sure yeah
things went wrong for Bernard when he was 12 okay he got right into just start
we're in okay I did 12 his father was accused and convicted on charges of
molesting two 15 year old boys yeah I thought you're gonna say binding cattle
no he went for something else Papa gets peeled the verdict this is what he's
sorry sorry Papa gets I called him Papa I called him Papa okay not pop because
if that I mean I make light of funny molester name yes but Papa gets would
be a guy you keep your eye on a way period whatever Papa wants Papa gets
as he's just rubbing his nipple hey what's your name my name Papa gets hey
get the kids in the house no no leave right here Papa gets them okay he appealed
the verdict and later pled guilty on a reduced charge of disorderly conduct so
I don't know what happened there but he was convicted of molesting two boys and
he peeled it and they're like alright his lawyer would go disorderly conduct I
got you for public urination better feel good so to cushion Bernard in his
sister Bernice from the trauma the dad sent them to a boarding school in
Switzerland what a great solution I'm just gonna get rid of them so they're
not hurt by me I'll just cut cut ties cut them loose yeah so that's where
Bernard gets spent his high school years in Switzerland when he returned and
entered New York University in 1975 the family had moved to Florida his father
did very well so he's out of jail obviously his father did very well
developing a medium-priced track housing in Florida so he's responsible for some
of that shit yeah sure Bernard graduated with a degree in electrical and nuclear
engineering so not a dummy no he's not a fucking dummy in order to avoid military
duty in Vietnam he acted like he had a mental illness and it worked well does
he have a mental illness yeah true that but that has to be fun regard like if
you're acting like you're crazy oh yeah I think you're crazy I mean I just
murdered that yeah I'm pulling a Ted Nugent yeah yeah yeah gets then joined
his father's development company and entered into a brief unhappy marriage
lovely they divorced in 1975 so it wasn't a year yeah it wasn't even a year that
marriage and she was like holy fuck Mario Lopez was like that was fast gets
moved to New York City to start his own business he specialized in calibrating
sophisticated electronic equipment to precise manufacturing standards I was
gonna guess I would be my guess my dad made books and milked cows I'm a
calibrator machines don't your machines don't hurt you he has often said okay
hmm well I disagree with that fucking completely has he not seen the matrix
yeah I mean or heard about the escalator kid in his shoelaces
Terminator yeah okay you're you're being more real okay sorry sorry the
tripods from the sky has he not read about those he ran the business out of
his own apartment where he stored the equipment acquired from suppliers all
over the city in order to bid on bargains at auctions and sales gets often
carried several thousand dollars in cash with them interesting interesting in
1977 he moved to a one bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village near 14th Street
14th Street at that time was a bit of a mess a lot of crime and whatnot he
launched a one-man crusade to clean up the street pestering pestering city
agencies to do something about the litter the junkies and the homeless that is
sort of how the ASPCA started so okay we don't yeah we don't know it kind of is
like the ASPCA in a way well we'll get to it all right now in 1981 crime rates
were peaking in New York City the city had a reported crime rate over 70% higher
than the rest of the United States the subway became a symbol of crime gone
wild in an opinion poll of New York City residents more than half said crime was
the worst thing about living in the city 25% they said they are a family member
had been a victim of a crime so it's a fucking nightmare yeah back then
subways were covered in graffiti inhabited by muggers junkies panhandlers
and the homeless there were 15,000 felonies a year on average in the
subway that's fucking crazy felonies that doesn't include the misdemeanors 15,000 like 15,000 murders really really bad horrible crimes
happen Jesus out of every four passengers oh one out of every four passengers
abandoned use abandoned using the subway between 1965 and 1982 so 25% of
the people who had been using it before like fuck this I walk track fires and
train breakdowns became very common Jesus now this is before the Giuliana years
and the streets had basically been taken over by the bad guys you fucking see in
the movies like yeah when you see an old New York City movie and you're like
yeah holy shit look at the subway yes you just be walking on the street a guy
be like hey where you going Jack it's insane just walking god damn it there
oh fucking hold on my thing died sorry that was our first technical was that
our first technical problem that wasn't a dog yeah okay so buh buh buh this is
for the Giuliana years like there was an incredible resentment towards the
predators who roamed New York looking for people to bully your mug or rape why
what was the what did they have against these predators they were young crewed
obnoxious elbowing people on the subway making vile statements to women cursing
anywhere as loudly as they could and committing crimes and they were too
often young black men who incurred the silent wrath of and sparked silent
terror in those who found themselves on the streets that they might be walking
down late at night or who were trapped between stops and subway cars with fear
three or four of them waiting to attack Jesus they were hated they were hated
and they didn't care they reveled in it in their own neighborhoods they violently
oppressed disgusted and embarrassed the black their black neighbors right so
they were just fucking asshole yeah now that's that's assuming that they're
black but they were of course all colors but there was at that time this
stereotypical black male thing right and in a lot of these cases these guys were
really bad news right in January 1981 gets was heading home with some
electrical equipment oh boy when he was jumped by three black youths at the
canal Street subway station been there right to the subway station not the
jumping part not the jumping when I had electrical equipment oh no anyway
Bernard was smashed into a plate glass window oh he suffered torn cartilage in
his knee two of the kids got away while a third was actually grabbed by a cop so
there's actually cop there and he actually did his job see this is this is
the time when the cops would grab people yes shoot them dead god that was so
great when they grabbed people grabbing was attacked I know now it'd be like
Taser Taser then guys beat the fuck out of him even gets it be at the window
like leave him alone enough already he's dying so but later that year gets
applied for a pistol permit okay himself a gun no he cited the fact that he
routinely carried large sums of cash but his application was rejected on
grounds of insufficient need what I don't know why just think they didn't want
people have guns yeah and maybe as you hear this it's just okay you know what
Dave if there's a slowdown if there's one thing I should have learned the part
of this is about me shutting the fuck up so gets was better I hope it's gets it's
Bernie gets it I hope it's not goats it's geo etz he hopes it's not goats I
believe it's gets Papa goats is Papa goats so much worse on a
subsequent trip to his family's Florida home he bought a nickel plated
lightweight Smith & Wesson 38 caliber revolver it was oddly warm on December
22nd 1984 something's happening on December 22nd 1984 Bernard left his
apartment in a blue windbreaker and went into the 14th Street subway station
good luck already mm-hmm Bernard looked at the cars on the number two train he
was mostly looking for an empty one he got on board and took a seat across from
the door directly opposite him sat Troy Canty 19 to his right sat Darrell KB 19
and James Ramser 19 diagonally across from gets sat Barry Allen 18 four young
black man no dear can't he asked gets how he was oh dear fine gets replied now in
New York those are what's known as murder work right nobody's like nobody says how
are you doing yeah that's that's when you're about to get I'm sorry what I
mean by how are you doing is I'm gonna murder you then Canty and Allen got up
and moved to their left or no to get his left can't he then said give me five
dollars hey listen straightforward I like it okay but why so like why so low
yeah it really tells you about the state of mind right the desperation hey
bitch give me a buck 50 give me a sock come on man give me one of them motherfucking
shoelaces let me put your wallet in my pant for a minute to see what it feels
like and they'll give it back now give it right back God just wanna know just
wanna know so then give me five dollars gets rose slowly partly unzipping his
jacket his windbreaker Dave he asked Canty what he had said and Canty
repeated the statement gets and gets then said you can have all of it I don't
believe he means it gets pulled out the silver colored gun yep he assumed a
combat stance weird just so great that he yeah he he got into some sort of yeah
I mean I'm coming hold the gun I mean I picture a combat stance like you get
your fists out he dug a trench put on a helmet put on a helmet got his boots on
got his boots on and talked to the platoon then the men were gone let's
go boys gripping the revolver with both hands he shot Canty through the center
of his body he then turned slightly to his right and shot Alan who had turned
a flea in the back he fired again shooting Ramzer in the arm and chest then
he fired a fourth time at KB Victor Flores 47 was on the tranq car the kids
were frightened backing off trying to get away there was no reason to shoot
them they fell one after the other bang bang bang he I guess the guy felt like
he had to put bang bang bang otherwise you wouldn't know what does it sound like
flop flop flop oh I don't think there's anything like it honestly I can't
possibly recreate it and the police have a sound guy like a sketch artist he's
like I can translate the sounds for you was it like a poppy pop pop it wasn't a
poppy pop it was more like a like a slower poppy pop like a bang bang bang
bang bang bang bang he's the best by his own account gets then walked over to KB
who was sprawled on the seat perhaps playing possum you may you seem to be
doing all right get said here's another and then he shot him Jesus Christ now
someone loved Dirty Harry movies right yeah like someone was like I go to the
cinema yeah because this is Dirty Harry years oh it's a little bit a little bit
past 30 years nice one guy he's like Deadpool but so this is like really
close to how big those movies were right they were the fucking movies that's a
good time although I wonder if you did the Clint the Clint Eastwood voice just
you know you know I don't know how many I don't know how many your friends I shot
five or six I lost count I can't count I can't count although Flores says gets
didn't say a word and that he didn't shoot KB again he didn't shoot the kid a
second time he didn't say anything either so get gets us like making up the
dialogue part like he he's making I think he's I think he's making up the
cool dialogue oh oh you look like you're still doing fine yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
and it's that what did he say you want some more he said how about a muffin for
your other hole tell your grandma I love her pies what bang shit that went bad I
gotta write better dialogue all right I just got to come up with something snappy
there's something for your sausages that's not good I'll see you on the
fourth of July cookout I got a shooting part down what am I doing hey you want
to start another fire in your fridge oh fuck me if you're a tropical fish I'd
marry you what am I doing who's putting on a double win breaker
either way a bullet severed KB spine spinal cord paralyzing him from the
waist down he also had brain damage two women were cowering at the other end of
the car why I don't know why what about he was just shooting black people was
yeah I mean let a man have his day everything's fine yeah gets walked over
and asked them if they were all right no that's not good hey you two girls doing
okay because there's a crazy killer on the street yeah okay there's a nut I
know where there's two tacos for two dollars never I'm not gonna shoot you
I'm sorry never mind never mind I just trying to come up with more phrases what
did you guys think of that was that cool like a climb your ladder that's been a
milkshake to straws shit conductor entered the car okay let me just say
this maybe that shit happened in the 80s yeah but today if there's a shooting
the conductor is running out the other end of the who what conductor is like
alright gentlemen you've seen the conductor what's going on back here yeah
tickets tickets everyone tickets please it's like in the 80s they had like a
1930s conductor yeah yeah let me just get some more coal up front in the train
we're moving along nice now Bernard Bernard gets told told the conductor
the man had tried to rip him off the conductor asked if he was a police
officer and get said no they had a brief discussion about gets turning over his
revolver and get said no yeah I'm good yeah I'm gonna keep this little bad
yeah the train came to a stop before reaching the next station and gets
jumped out ran along the darkened tracks and then up the stairs into the
street wow I can't I really can't believe that you could just run around the
subway like that and the fucking 80s and 70s were just crazy time plus have you
seen a clover field no I've never have you haven't no they run around the
subway they do yeah I'd love to do that next time there's other movies where
people run around and so all right Dave I get it I'm wrong okay I'm just saying
I mean it feels like you're attacking those buses to the ghost train hits Ernie
Hudson can we is that helping point made all righty made it is a good point all
right cool gets one home changes clothes and packed a bag exactly what you do
when you've legally defended yourself yep yep put on a new windbreaker get the
backpack stuff shake your head change your name never go home again putting
your different colored lenses in your eyes and off you go go have a new
pigment he rented a car and headed for Vermont in a motel in Bennington he took
apart 38 and dumped it along with his blue windbreaker which he burned so he
dumped him in the woods and it's not a firebreaker it's not anymore it's not
no over the next week the mysterious subway vigilante became a national
sensation what was his angle though like he just was going to go like murder
defend himself against yeah five people and then changes life like where's all
those four people but he I don't think he was thinking after that he was just
thinking I'm gonna shoot some people if they look at me weird yeah and then he
did that my life is over right and then he was like oh I didn't think about the
other part where you go well there's a lot of guilt that comes along with this
no there's no guilt oh boy he's just running so it becomes a national
sensation the police report hundreds of calls praising the government so okay
you're at home and you hear that that a guy is just shot four people on the
subway the people that have been terrorizing the city and so then what
you phone the police department to say hey he he did a good job like who's
calling the radio station about your favorite fucking saw it's the cops you
listen to precinct 24 WNBR number one with four bullets give us a call and
tell us which criminal you like the best hey Sergeant Pepper I just want to say
you guys are doing the greatest work and I hope you let these vigilantes keep
killing the man shout out to my homies okay did you want to report a crime oh
um no shout out to my homies
murmur spread that gets had been threatened with sharpen screwdrivers so
they have no idea who he is they just know that a guy went on the subway and
shot four people and the rumor was that he been threatened with screwdrivers this
rumor was published as fact by some newspapers including the New York Times
good so they better times yeah the York Times went let's run with it yeah man in
the street interviews revealed blacks and whites enthusiastically supporting
the gunman someone spray-pated on East River Drive power to the vigilante
New York loves you wow yeah what a weird well people were yeah it was a time
when everyone's just fucking terrified of being killed all the time you know like
it was like Batman came a really low-rent shitty Batman yeah Batman is
like Alfred get my windbreaker and my only gun get my only gun and my wind
breaker Alfred Alfred here comes Ratman he's just talking to a parrot Alfred
get my windbreaker what thank you Alfred I agree I do look good New York
magazine said that people of all colors rich and poor everyone in New York was
thrilled gets it actually succeeded where no one else had he brought together
the people of New York of all colors and classes they were all happy about what
happened the mood in the city was jubilant they were like let's have a barn
dance we finally shot for black guys in the subway
someone finally took a stand against the horrific crime conditions they've been
dealing with for over a decade the action that had vindicated the feelings
that the people had when they saw the thugs that the apparatus of law
enforcement was failing them they had had it with excuses for rude and violent
behavior they couldn't take hearing all the psycho sociological explanations
cleaning switch dirty Harry films were very popular and it seemed the way to
handle the situation was to shoot people vigilante justice was confronted with a
clear criminal threat and it should be no crime that's now our national policy
which and that's the police in Ferguson a special hotline set up by police to
seek information was swamped by calls supporting the vigilante hey just want
to shout out to my homies and calling him a hero hey is this the information line
I just want to let you know that my man's a hero right in my tape oh my tip is to
let him go goodbye goodbye goodbye
tip line Harvard professor James Q. Wilson explain the reaction it may
simply indicate that there are no more liberals on the crime and order issue in
New York because they've all been mugged well I mean you know that will make you
conservative the teenagers get had shot had numerous arrests among them the
police recovered three screwdrivers from the jackets of two of the victims but
they weren't weapons they were tools of their trade which was robbing video game
machines their trade well they had a job yeah it's just that their vocation their
their specialty like like if your toilet breaks down uh-huh you call a plumber
yeah so in this case yeah I'm ready for this next part if you need your
quarters emptied oh really your machine is too full of quarters uh-huh you call
for and are you calling them yeah okay you don't call right you wait for or do
you just not wait for and find out about okay in the morning you come in okay
all your machines are empty and I lose your business it's not it's sort of the
same thing as calling a plumber let's move on it's called an analogy it doesn't
feel like it is well they're not all good that's true that's that's fair
they're evolving summer evolving can't ease brother free bus whoa this is
can't ease brother free-basing cocaine while talking to a New York post
reporter said that Troy was high at the time the shooting okay you start I have
some things to I I just want to picture the guy who's being interviewed yeah by
a reporter yeah and it doesn't want to take the time off from smoking crack well
at that time it was kind of like you know like you'd be like do you mind if I
smoke in here and they're probably like no he's like I'm sorry what are you
smoking a crack crack just crack anyway my brother he was definitely like you
could never get a shit together I was felt bad for him you know I talked to him
shirt you are turning into the devil but I'll finish people are great yeah
reporters are like cool with anything they're giving me the feed yeah let me
have it with a story so get's been driving around New England for several
days registering at motels under various names and paying in cash a week after
the shooting he called his neighbor Myra Friedman and asked her for help and
told her the story he explained what he had done and how he felt okay naturally
how did he feel okay but wait we have this we have this what he said exactly
because she recorded the conversation oh sweet so he called the person who like
who who is ready to record like yeah are you in the CIA like who is like always
ready to like you can't you just don't have that shit laying around like you
grab it and you're crazy person crazy person so it's a crazy person calling
a crazy person Myra in a situation like this your mind you're in a combat
situation your mind is functioning you're not thinking in a normal way your
memory isn't even working normally you're so hyped up your vision actually
changes your field of view changes your capability changes what you're capable
of changes you're under adrenaline a drug called adrenaline and you respond
very quickly and you think very quickly that's all you think you think you
analyze and you act and in each situation you just have to think more
quickly than your opposition that's it you know speed is very important
pretty I'm getting another call can you hold on one second I'll be right back do
it quick speeds important yeah yeah I get you I'll be right okay okay okay if you
corner a rat and you're about to butcher it okay the way I responded was
viciously and savagely just like a rat mmm those guys I'm almost sure are
vicious savage people I know my heart I was a murderer I just snapped I know in
my heart I was a murderer yeah I just snapped wow I mean imagine knowing
knowing in your heart your heart in my deep down inside I'm a murderer it's
not if it's when with me it's gonna happen it's gonna happen I've been close
got the it's got the murders in my I got the murder fever oh I got the murder
fever the murder fever and it's burning out of me the new Ted Nugent album
murder fever oh my god please let it be a couple of days later on New Year's Eve
my New Year's resolution to not shoot black youths on subways anymore I'm done
on New Year's Eve well on what what other day would you do this he a man in a
leather Bombardier's jacket walked into the police station in Concord, New
Hampshire and said that he was the fugitive wanted for the New York subway
shootings and happy new year now wait can I okay I don't that's not him right
yeah it's him okay that'll be great if it wasn't well I thought because there was
so much adulation that I guess I'm sure a bunch of people were like I did it
seriously I did it I do it again too the policeman the policeman red gets his
Miranda warning telling me he did not have to talk if he did not want to but
he wanted to big time he'd been watching and reading all that press for nine days
and he was like I want in for the next four hours two of which were videotape
okay what like what so he babbled for two hours and someone's like Reggie you
getting this on tape no is that a video the video did you turn out we got that
yeah yeah no let's turn that on the two let's fire that up we got the two years
fire that up okay let's fire it up so you're doing a great job by the way great
cop but next he said a lot of crazy stuff to I hope we get into do more takes
did you do what I hope we get more takes out of him because he did he said a lot
of stuff don't do takes your action got so Bernard let loose he said he did not
think he had done anything wrong but he also added that he acted like a cold
blooded savage he uses savage a lot and and he likes the word savage a guy who
knows that he can murder in his heart has able to bridge that gap okay so I
didn't do anything wrong I just savagely murdered gentlemen gentlemen pump the
brakes get stated that none of the young men have been armed okay it's a I mean
what you're describing is cold blooded murder you're actually using the term
cold blooded you're saying they didn't have weapons so what you're saying is
you cold bloody murdered them yes but you're but you're not guilty I'm a good
guy let me go look at these dimples I can't ask what his intentions were when
he drew his gun get said my intention was to murder them to hunt to hurt them to
make them suffer as much as possible if I had more bullets I would have shot them
all again and again my problem is I ran out of bullets that's I mean you need to
get a windbreaker with more pockets but how I mean if this this is a confession
of murder yes all right that's why I'm here he added I was gonna gouge one of
the guys eyes out with my keys afterwards but I stopped when I saw the fear in his
eyes because I wanted to get my security deposit back well here's the deal I was
gonna I was gonna just keep stabbing his eyeballs I was gonna start his eye right
I was gonna take one of the but then I looked at his eyes and he was scared for
some fucking reason yeah I don't know why you shoot a guy a couple times and
then you pull out your keys to poke him in the eyes and he gets a weird look at
his eye and I was like lose a fucking bummer yeah I want I want a man looking
back at me that I've already shot then I'm about to stab in the eye with key I
wanted to look at me with rage he was not a giving partner you know what I work
very selfish I've I've gone through the scenario so many times but this role
play with my therapist and my therapist is always angry yeah not scared I need
a new shrink Jesus boo who you shot me I'm scared anyway I'm a murderer not a
fun partner when two New York City detectives arrived interview him gets
was a dick he was taken out and he was surrounded by a horde of reporters
vultures he sneered what he where did he where was he he was outside of jail yeah
but when they took him out to take him to the car okay so the trans okay all
right there's all these reporters around and he's like okay well okay all right
irony but that's fine the Manhattan District Attorney asked a grand jury to
indict gets on four counts of attempted murder four of assault four of reckless
endangerment and one of criminal possession of a weapon in New York he was
arraigned on charges of illegal gun possession and attempted murder bail was
said at 50,000 and later reduced to 5,000 the why in none of those charges is
murder he didn't kill any of them oh none of them died none of them died
but then he's not dirty Harry no he's shitty yeah he's stinky Bernie he's
barely Bernie I don't know new barely Bernie so Bell was set at 50,000 and
then reduced to 5,000 because let him go take away a zero you know what I'm
saying hey taxi in jail gets was delusional calls from people who wanted
to give him money and support you did a good thing even though we ain't got no
proof but those guys are actually gonna attack you so here's some money hey I
heard you shot four guys in the subway I don't know exactly what was going on but
here's some cash there'd be a little more money if you had put the key in his
eye you put the key in his eye it's a hundred dollars he turned out everyone
who offered him money and raised his own bail this case was sent to the grand
jury who decided on January 25th that he had been justified in his use of force
and declined to indict him on any charges but illegal possession of weapons
the DA did not allow any of the kids who were shot to testify hey you got shot
by that guy well nobody needs to hear that capiche you know I'm talking about
you get you that guy shot you that guy who shot you let's not have you go
talkity talkity talkity you go we have the conductor the case is strong we got
those two chicks yeah the two chicks we got them you were right you don't need
to be a part of this rest thank you for coming go away go away yeah so they
didn't they didn't pursue charges they didn't pursue the gun charges and that
was it on that was it they they let him walk what on March 26 1985 a man called
9-1-1 and reported reported a kidnapping he said he said James Ramser had been
forced into a blue Cadillac by two men with guns at 170 the street and 3rd
Avenue in the Bronx James Ramser of the subway he's one of the guys that got
shot yeah yeah it's interesting don't play with me like a cat who just found a
mouse that detectives went to James Ramser's apartment in the Bronx James
Ramser's mother told detectives her son had gone out at 4 p.m. detectives being
in canvassing the building and the neighborhood Ramser appeared at his
apartment at 10 10 p.m. Ramster told detectives he'd been forced into a
Cadillac by two our men and driven north about five miles to playground he said
the men told them they were gonna kill him but he ran away as they fired after
escaping Ramster said he walked home about five miles the detectives found
inconsistencies and Ramser's accounts when they played back for Ramser a
recording of the 9-1-1 call he admitted to making the call and fabricating the
report he did a horrible horrible job his mom was like he went out at four
what worst fake kidnapping ever yeah worst and then the confession of that
so fast is always funny I know I made yeah no I heard that doesn't mean that's
totally my it's totally my voice pretend like I'm someone else singing to get
kidnapped yeah you got me I lied all right you guys want to go home or get a
sandwich or something what do we do now we're gonna rest well we're gonna rest
you oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa can a guy get fake kidnapped I pretend to be
kidnapped for an afternoon you guys come and investigate and then I'm going to
jail wow why don't you do your job I tax dollars in motion who is gonna saw by
fake kidnapping what about the guys who didn't do it we got a fake detective
what about the guys that didn't do it you're gonna let them walk them not walk
the streets now gets had basically gotten away with murder or shooting not
murder and he became super into his fame oh boy he recommended that more
civilians be trained to carry guns he showed up at the funeral of a slain
cabbie which is really nice a slain hey a good cabbie got killed and he's and
he shows up at the hey not me you know why gun yeah oh you know what I'm not
that guy dead couldn't protect himself Bernie Bernie right here Bernie's a
shooter he's not a debtor yeah pretty weird pretty weird protected himself from
two screwdrivers again it's a weird eulogy but get I'm getting going yep
here we go every other day he seemed to give another exclusive interview but he
was annoying not TV ready and being a preachy loudmouth asshole backfired on
him good plus information was leaking out about what he said in interrogation
and during interviews now people were like oh okay shut the fuck up put him in
jail right so they've already fucked up well also the color lines that were
previous previously blurred with black and white coming together yeah now black
saw him as a man who basically hunted black kids which okay there must have
been so much like not even propaganda but just people must I mean that I found
strange when you said it that black people as well were like but they're
yeah everyone was being terrorized by yeah young black kids but it still seems
I don't know I just in this it seems like in this day and age that does not
happen no right you never it's there's a clear racial divide normally on those
sort of issues clear but I think that and again this is this is it wasn't all
fucking black kids doing it but that was what was being told and then black
people were being fuck with in their neighborhoods by young black right so to
them they're like these guys are fucking it was like the it was like you know
20 years before there were no gangs and now they were like 4,000 gangs in New
York like it was just it had just turned in New York you watch this the movie the
Warriors right that's a true story I know about the baseball series real true
story documentary so now blacks saw him as a man who basically hunted blacks it
was discovered that he had gone to a neighborhood meeting six months before
the shooting stood up and said the crime would only be resolved once they got
rid of the niggers and Spick's now let's talk about that yeah let's talk about
that red flag red flag hey guy who says that and then shoots for you
grabbing coffee cake when he said that like oh god Christ holy shit he's a
full-on racist shooter what the hell he's a full-on he's a man who tried to kill
black people subway who wanted to kill black people in the sub I'm shocked his
motivation it seems like it was to kill black people on the subway Jesus so now
the grounds well what the other way and the D announced significant new evidence
had been discovered and a second grand jury would be convene but that is
bullshit right there was no new evidence they were now just like we were wrong
there's new evidence the new evidence okay consisted of some testimony from
two of the guys who were shot what the fuck the guys he did the fucking DA that
they were at such fucking bullshit new evidence the D talked to two of the guys
who got shot well I remember before when we let these guys talk on the witness
stand we're gonna switch that around now because now people are pissed we'll do
the job yeah worse hi where who represents you
meanwhile gets begged to testify but decided not to when the DA said he'd
need to sign a waiver of immunity oh wow yeah so yeah so you know I'm good
I'll shut up I want to testify I want to testify really bad you put me up there
put me up there I want to testify get me up there I want to get on it what I
tell the truth he just signed this paper not gonna do it can't do it got to get
out of here gonna tell you what I am going to roll great to see you again the
job again in 1987 the case was defended by Barry Slotnik it's a good name yeah
Slotnik argued that gets his actions fell within the New York self-defense
statute a person may not use deadly physical force upon another person
unless he reasonably believed that such other person is committing or attempting
to commit one of a certain number of enumerated predicate predicate offenses
including robbery gets was tried before mainly white Manhattan jury six of whom
had been victims of street crime hmm how do you where are we headed this one
going to see me Valley well I got a feeling the gets is gonna be a okay
Ramzer testified at the trial about being shot but his angry outburst provoked
the judge to disallow his testimony well and ordered him removed from the
courtroom you know he was twice cited for contempt as he should be you know
what just the temper on this guy I mean put it in check sure be a
professional let me say the next part Ramzer was sent back to prison where he
was living at the time of the trial he had been convicted of raping,
sodomizing and robbing a pregnant woman in 1986
who's the hero in there's one right I don't know okay you know I don't think
there is one okay keep going Troy Canty also testified answering yes and no
to questions more frequently he answered I can't remember what asked about his
own actions Slotnik got Canty to say he had been granted immunity from
prosecution in connection with this testimony gets was acquitted of the
attempted murder and first-degree assault charges and convicted of criminal
possession of a weapon in the third degree he carried a loaded unlicensed
weapon in a public place so classic America right classic America like he
he he shot a guy and paralyzed him and gave brain damage he shot three other
guys and then they're like you shouldn't have that gun give us your wrist bad bad
bad man naughty man he was sent to sentence the six months in jail one
year psychiatric treatment five years probation 200 hours of community
service and a $5,000 fine an appellate court affirmed the conviction but
changed the sentence to one year in jail without probation so the one thing he
actually needed which is psychiatric care yeah is the thing that they don't
do that no no no no no jail will heal him what yeah what it will help you is
jail sir jail give him the perspective he needs mm-hmm so he eventually served
eight months the entire episode was sent up nicely by a woman on the street in
Harlem who was interviewed by a reporter all this talk is one thing what
actually happened is some other business altogether it comes down to this five
assholes met on a train and one of them had a gun well okay okay yeah so that
lady should be the mayor okay now what happened to the guys he shot first
James Ramsey he was the only one already in jail for up to 25 years for his
crimes he was conditionally reached in 2002 but he returned to prison for a
parole violation in 2005 he finished his sentence in July 2010 he died on this in
December 2011 in a hotel room of a drug overdose on the 22nd of December it was
the 27th anniversary of the shooting well so kill himself get set of his
death it sounds like he was depressed what a sweetheart he was a good friend
of mine Troy Canty the one who was high according to his brother at first enjoyed
the attention of the press he felt like a star he was whined and dying and taken
around in limousines by reporters hinge isn't New York just a fucking cesspool
yeah just totally yeah yeah he enjoyed it for about a week until he realized he
was being vilified by the press mr. Canty had a criminal record of petty
offenses like fair beating and stealing $14 from a video game machine fair
beating that's where you jump the you jump the turnstile okay so he's the real
big what a real big criminal he deserved to be shot should have been shot he
successfully completed an 18 month drug and vocation training program when he
was 23 he hoped to become a cook no one knows his whereabouts now all right
which means he hasn't made any crimes if he was they would know that he's
gonna change his name could could be now mr. Jenkins Barry Allen was released
after swimming serving some of his one to four years for Grant Larson in 1991 he
has no more convictions on his record no one knows where he is Daryl KB was the
most seriously injured he was paralyzed from the waist down and suffered brain
damage before being shot mr. KB had been facing robbery charges in the Bronx the
charges were dismissed doctors testified that he had the mental capacity of an
eight-year-old now Daryl KB cannot tell you the day the week the month of the
year his doctors say his vocabulary is now limited he does not know the name of
the mayor or the governor he doesn't know how he ended up in a wheelchair his
family fired filed a $50 million lawsuit against gets during the trial gets
admitted to previous use of racial language and to smoking marijuana laced
with PCP in the 80s okay wow all right okay sure okay okay throw that one out
there right whatever yeah little bit of PC by the way that's not marijuana that's
PCP I had a PCP on marijuana I'm really tired of all these assholes in the city
also right now I'm smoking a little PCP little weed and PCP same effect
basically doesn't yeah we just melz yeah good mix melz yeah yep the jury
awarded KB $43 million wow 18 million for pain and suffering in 25 million
impunitive damages I like others that divide gets filed for bankruptcy yeah he
didn't have the money I can't I can't actually pay that hmm I might have to
sell some of selling radios yeah a judge ruled the 43 million could not be
dismissed because of the bankruptcy asked in 2004 whether he was making
payments on the judgment gets responded I don't think I've ever paid a penny on
that do you like him no I don't like him get slipped into obscurity and
resurfaced once in a while he ran for mayor in 2001 what a fucking asshole what
do you mean who runs for fucking mayor after she's shot for fucking people yeah
but he's he's like a hero to a bunch of people still in the in 2001 yeah people
are still like there he is you look at you there he is look at buddy trigger
finger gets he was motivated by the desire to perpetuate the Giuliani
administration gets his plan is to get himself was to get himself elected then
hire rude Giuliani's deputy mayor and entrust pretty much all the duties to
him he wanted public funded food facilities with a standard menu also to
have a vegetarian menu in addition what well I mean it's a it's a platform yeah
it's a platform yeah you know what I mean yeah it doesn't feel like what I
advocate is a mediocre sandwich he said something with basic nutrition the
reason I advocate a mediocre sandwich is it would be unfair to compete with all
the food businesses out there to provide food of the same tasty level that the
delicatessen and restaurants provide I mean vote birdie oh did I miss his
point yes it mediocre sandwich okay it's he wants sandwiches to be shittier much
like FDR he ran on a mediocre sandwich campaign I believe that you're wrong
pretty sure that's what I don't think right look it up no he what he's saying
is sandwiches shouldn't taste so good shitty sandwich for people it for
people you're giving free food to but don't make it a good sandwich because
then everyone will want that sandwich and it'll drive the businesses out of
okay it's not a great point it sounds like outtakes from a quiz nose
commercial it doesn't sound like a fucking platform oh mediocre sandwich how
do you respond to your opponents accusations that you almost murdered
four people cold-bloodedly on a subway car well I think we should make sandwiches
tastes worse thank you everyone I read my man November 4th anyway he lost whoa
yep in 2004 gets was interviewed by Nancy Grace another level-headed human
very great person where he stated his actions were good for New York City and
forced the city to address crime which actually might be true well that's what's
fucked up because yeah did he do because a law started changing and vigilante
laws certainly changed but but the city started changing shit so did he did he
set it off I mean cry I know crime has gone down dramatically and then I mean
after 9-11 then they were like oh we could search anyone anytime what that's
our new policy just go into your house if you're cool with that I'm not cool with
it where we're going in sorry I shouldn't have said that part about you
being cool with it that doesn't matter he ran for public advocate in 2005 I mean
what does that even mean on a pro-vegetarian anti-circumcision platform
okay good I'm glad I'm glad it's evolving because for a minute I was like you
know you're what's your base what's your base the shitty sandwich people yeah
I mean you know it's a platform that's where you're wrong he's also Jewish he's
a Jewish German so who the fuck is gonna vote for this guy people like good
sandwiches and he he was against circumcision yeah he wants to stop Jews
aren't gonna vote he wants to stop circumcision and he wants people to not
eat meat I mean you can hear the moils rolling their eyes I think the biggest
problem is eating meat but that seems to go right over people's heads I think
eating meat is primitive and barbaric just like circumcision add to that a
shallow television new chemical drugs and national leadership that can't be
trusted and you have a lot of people who are confused and lost he shot four
people vote for Bernie it's not for vote for me for public the worst thing you
can do is eat meat you almost murdered for well that's why do you think was I
eating just as a vegetarian back then no I was eating meat okay work with me I
was a murderer carnivore he lost what yeah recently gets filmed scenes for a
low-budget horror movie called silver night in which he plays a nutritionist
of vampires okay so I hate the person who made that movie yeah I hate the idea
of a nutritionist vampires yes I don't like Bernie gets no I would like to shut
down show business yes that's worse than Twilight oh my god yeah a vampire
nutritionist yeah you need more B plus I mean really you know you need to be
negative with some warm beat my job so hollow I just tell people to drink blood
all day hey oh thank you doctor guy writing that was like yeah I can't
believe this check cleared then in November 2013 he was resting for trying
to sell an undercover cop $30 worth of marijuana the officer was female get
said he offered the undercover cop pot three times but she refused and insisted
on paying for it he was very upset that the newspapers reported he tried to
pick up the cop he told the post that she was merely average looking you know
even as a cop that one was like fucking asshole he rejected a plea deal and said
he wanted a jury trial because why wouldn't he it worked out so well the
first time yeah the case was dismissed for lack of speedy trial after on the
courthouse steps he spoke and said he wanted to they wanted there to be pot
legalization instant runoff voting that he believed in vegetarianism carriage
horses and discussed the policing of New York City today what is that a list is
that a pointer is that a list of random things that's what he talked about what
is he's using what do you say carriage horses that's number four carriage horses
number five here this is a guy who's just coming out of getting a case dismissed
for a shitty little pot trial he's like carriage horses first of all which
leads me to carriage horses ever just looking around are we supposed to be
writing this down should we be writing this because anybody know this is what
does he mean does he think he's speaking for Cinderella carriage horses oh god
where is it who knows at the trial in the middle of a commerce after the trial
in the middle of a conversation with a New York Post reporter gets yelled I have
to feed the squirrels and he ran off you know I know no my new way of leaving
any situation I don't want to be in just the middle of anything I have to feed
the squirrels run we just went full dollop because Bernard gets enjoys the
company of wild squirrels oh no which he rescues from certain death at Union
Square Park Bernard get Bernard gets is now a slight man with thinning gray hair
he's in his mid 60s he carries a large bag of peanuts with him as he walks
through the Peter Cooper Village Housing Development in Manhattan he lives
nearby on the four on 14th Street where he sells electronics online it's near
where his mugging occurred that's nostalgic he walks around and clicks his
tongue before throwing out handfuls of peanuts on the ground he feeds squirrels
his passion for these animals brings him to Peter Cooper often but lately he has
had less time to visit his small furry friends that's closed cat he has been
too busy taking care of the family of squirrels that were recently born in his
home today gets us still a concert controversial figure in New York City
why among New York's wildlife rehabilitators what I mean if you told me
when you fucking started this what that he'd be he'd be involved in a squirrel
scandal that's what that we would that's where it would end up license
wildlife rehabilitators must pass a test before being certified by the state to
take in wild animals like squirrels and care for them in their homes under the
supervision and discretion of the Department of Environmental Conservation
the DEC under New York State law it's illegal to house a wild animal without
being a lot a licensed wildlife rehabber gets is not licensed let him have his
fucking he also doesn't agree with many of the unwritten rules the rehabbers
follow when caring for squirrels oh dear gets met Pam summers a fellow squirrel
feeder in the park together they met the mother of the baby squirrels currently
in gets his care and named her red mama after late cold spell in the city when
they witnessed a much larger squirrel chasing red mama out of the tree she
lived in they decided to catch her they came back trapped red mama with a net
and put her in a small pet carrier gets took the squirrel to the vet where he
discovered she was pregnant with four babies he took her home to care for her
and eventually the babies red mama doesn't know what how unlucky she is
red mama was like no four babies will raise them as our own mama shoes like
I don't really just want to leave I'm supposed I'm supposed to be in a tree I
really it's supposed to be in a tree I should not be here not a house looking at
a lava lamp what's happening is that gone oh god Pam summers photographed the
newborn animals for her blog the New York squirrel available at totally crazy dot
wordpress on the blog she chronicles her and gets his relationship with the
squirrels how many possible views can this fucking site have besides them right
now a lot more yeah now more more because more because something is more
than nothing the squirrels lay on top of a heating pad oh my god my god and a
plastic rectangular storage container get says that dehydration is the biggest
killer of kittens and baby squirrels yeah or not being in nature doesn't help you
know you know where you can find liquid and stuff in the park they'll find those
and rain they normally find it you know what take him out of the park get him in
the house hopefully we can get their way to a sink just teach them how to turn
faucets that's all you got to do it gets makes his own homemade milk based
formula rather than the advised formula used by many of wildlife rehabbers he
also feeds squirrels adult squirrels peanuts which many rehabbers believe
causes metabolic bone disease he defends his own methods by saying if it's bad
for them then why are they eating it well he lives in America
American Donald yeah if it's bad for them why are they eating it that should be
the name of our country have you been to the south the name if it's bad for them
why that's a what a Martian asked just in a picture of a guy eating back fat
yeah a guy just being like hey McRib is back if it's bad for them why do they
eat it oh man I can't wait to eat my boneless ribs
gets feeds the young squirrels organic strawberry milk with a syringe every
few seconds he removes the syringe from its mouth closes his own mouth over the
snout of the animal and sucks Dave Dave this is to keep the baby from inhaling
liquid into his lungs while they are feeding what Dave what does the mother
do that asks summers no the mother doesn't do a lot of things I do he
responded Dave what is he do what is he doing he's putting he's working puts it
in their mouth and then he sucks it out sucks it out of their nose what is it
what's the benefit what I put the whole snout actually closed the mouth so he's
stuck so he so the so it doesn't go into their lungs so he's where does it go so
he squirts it in just like just like their mother doesn't do and then he
sucks it out just like his mother doesn't do now most rehabbers use like a
fake nipple that's just like the mother that the so the most murderers so the
baby can suck the stuff out like a natural process but he squirts in with
syringe he's got he's working it out he's working it out you know when you're
putting your mouth on a squirrel's face and sucking you have to think you made a
wrong turn sorry a roommates he's not he's not just about squirrels oh cool in
an email to another rehab rehabber he wrote let me know if you come across an
infant hawk or a hawkhead I'm interested in raising it as a vegetarian
squirrels and a hawk does he know vegetarian vegetarian I mean you don't
eat meat no fly down here and get this corn buddy here you go come and grab
this tofu from my hand King why are you eating my hand oh what is it no you
don't eat me you're not a meat eater you're a veggie you don't eat meat by the
way have you seen the baby squirrels they're round here because I know you
don't eat meat so they must be somewhere close holy fuck to become a rehabber in
New York one needs to pass a multiple-choice test of about 95 questions
scoring 85 percent or higher according to gets he took the test and passed but
fought against the fact that the DEC requires rehabbers to keep records of
every animal they take in and that they have the right to randomly check in on
rehabbers homes and revoke their lifetime licenses at will then come to your
apartment anytime they want get says now I say screw that and they said well
then you can't then you're not getting your license and I was like good I didn't
want my license I can just I can just make squirrels in my apartment then why
not get it and then when they take it away just keep doing the weird thing you
already know what you're not invited to my squirrel wedding what I come to your
squirrel marry in red mama you're not marrying a fucking squirrel gonna make a
hybrid vigilante right there vigilante squirrel babies the hawk will marry us
right no it's a wedding
um I like you to be my wife red mama and this is my brother hawk some of the
guy knocked her up whatever I'm raising him as mine oh my god I you know what I
love them so much that the other day I put milk in them with my strange and I
suck one of their eyeballs out because I love them so much I just sucked and I
was like oh god damn it that's an eyeball the problem is some day you'll
suck an eyeball or two in my it happens it happens in occupational hazard but
then you got a little cute blind squirrel in your house boy of the taste gets
believed someone has been tipping off the DEC about his squirrels that's a great
sentence he recalls one February night in February of 2013 when DEC officers who
he calls squirrel Nazis and says they were wearing bulletproof vests arrived
at his door wanting to check on the well-being of a squirrel bulletproof vest
to go check on a squirrel no bulletproof vest because they're going to Bernard
gets his house but the idea that you were like hey we gotta go check on these squirrels let's vest up shit's
gonna get weird on this one get your Kevlar on we're about to go see what
the process of four animals that weigh a cumulative pound oh fuck me license
rehabbers will talk about gas but most don't want to be identified for fear of
antagonizing him Bernard gets to somebody who has fantasies of how it should
look like a rehabber said we tried to help him and get him educated because
he was doing everything wrong fortunately squirrels are very hardy guys and
it's almost impossible to kill them this is why he has had some success and why
they don't keel over immediately with him what's the chance of a survival for
baby squirrels born into your care she was asked oh 100% said the rehabber
without hesitation wow one of the four out of the four offspring of red mom of
the squirrel only one has managed to survive that's okay that's terrible
because he's he's not doing it right he's sucking their faces yeah and he's
probably yeah he's doing everything wrong he's probably doing everything wrong
because he thinks that whatever they do is wrong he's out of his fucking mind
yeah but let me just break this down so a guy who calls black people savages
essentially animals yes yes shoots for black people yes and really fucks up
their lives yes gets away with it and now he's spending his life caring for
animals yeah that's that's what you just told me and that's a little bit of guilt
yeah probably guilt probably a little bit of psychological weirdness done with
humans done with humans yeah what do you think about Bernard gets I can't I don't
know like this is the first story that no one has been good in well yeah that's
true yeah there is no hero but but the squirrels red mama yeah red mama's great
mom is our although although she's basically like she's basically like one
of those women who are trapped in that guy's basement in Cleveland at this
point yeah that's true she's she's in hell yeah she's like I had four babies
they're all dead and we were fine outside and then this man took me inside his
blowing shit in their face it's not a good situation when you look forward to
interacting with a hawk you're not in a good safe spot I think Bernard gets is
crazy yeah so's America though for allowing that new york and like what
was happening for that to be yeah acceptable is fucking insane yeah no
really I mean that is a Hail Mary as far as like allowing allowing someone to
shoot four people and be a hero that's pretty rare well not in our country right
no not in our country no this is the country now where you can walk into a
Denny's with an assault rifle strapped to you and be like what are you looking at
forgive me for pancakes yeah my right to carry a fucking assault rifle into a
restaurant it doesn't mean you have to or should okay well you're an asshole yeah
no I mean yeah he's he's crazy but if we could just get more of these lunatics
into squirrels who knows right who knows the point this guy's the limit get the
crazy people into squirrels yeah it's squirrel time squirrel time that's our
new podcast you're listening to squirrel time I would I'm Bernard get some I'm
here with Pat summers I'm here I'm here I'm Bernard gets and I'm here with my
wife red mama that's right mama all right we got a lot of exciting stuff
today we're gonna be joined by a hawk in a little bit but first I wanted to get
to this week's story time all right right mommy you'll have your chance to chime
in in a second all right that's it that's that's Bernard gets congratulations
to him everybody take a bath yeah