The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 28 - The Past Times with Fahim Anwar
Episode Date: May 26, 2023This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Fahim Anwar New episodes of The Past Times will be right here every Thursday. Redbubble ...Merch  Harry's
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Get the perfect gift for dad this Father's Day and support your favorite podcast.
He'll have the best quality shave with Harry's.
Get a $13 starter set for just $3 at Harry's.com slash dollop.
That's Harry's.com slash dollop for a $3 starter set.
All right, everybody.
Welcome to the Pastimes Podcast.
Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date, history picked up by Dave
Anthony.
I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week.
The he-man-war.
Hello, Fee.
Hello, good to be here.
I have not seen it.
No, no, you've not seen it.
You've not seen it.
You've not seen it.
You've not seen it.
You've not seen it. You've not seen it. You've not seen it. You've not seen it. You've not seen it. No, no, you've not seen it. You've not seen it. This podcast because it's not even out a lot of stuff. I'm in the dark about here.
Yeah. No, no, it's not going to be easy for you. Well, we're, we're recording these and then
we're going to release some later like we're banking a bunch. So we're banking. We're going
to bank about 700 and then release it. It's the only show that's been teased that it's going to
be released in three weeks for two years. Right.'ve got that point. That's quite the thing.
It's really good.
For him, you do stand up comedy.
I'm reading here on the bio.
This is true.
No, you are hilarious.
I was just telling you before the show how fucking great your special is.
It's called Hatchrick.
It's on YouTube.
It is.
It's so rare when you watch a special, you're like, I could keep watching.
Like, you know, normally, like it's a, I could keep watching. Like, you know, normally,
like it's a lot from other comedians, though, you know.
You have a sense of time where you're going,
I already said 45, I like it, let's go.
Let's wrap this up, stick to the later.
I feel like yours could be like much longer,
but it's so great.
So people should go check it out.
And then you're on the road.
So go to feemanwar.com for tour dates and stuff like that.
Yeah, I appreciate all that, especially from another standup,
because we can get jaded,
and it's hard to like watch specials,
even though we love it.
So the fact that you were able to sit through
that special in it, just like we might.
Well, keep in mind, I'm a hacky,
I'm not a very good standup.
No, come on, I love you, man.
Keep that.
Thank you, Dave.
Thank you, Dave.
You're just very good.
I would say, I would say you're a scammer.
It's really good, but has a lot of room for improvement.
In fact, what a guy.
What a fuck.
Who the fuck?
You know, you look the tough, but fair dad.
Yeah, I'm going to give it to you straight.
Yeah, it's like the son of the soccer coach always got at the hardest because he didn't
want to play favorites.
Dave has real son of soccer coach energy, like real son of soccer coach
energy. All right. So we got a random paper. You and I don't know it. I always like to guess
what year I think it'll be from. I think you're probably going to go. How far back will
you go Dave? 1600s? You've said, yeah, they go. These papers go. Have we done one for men?
I don't think we have, you know why?
Because a lot of them are like,
it's gotta be insane man.
Like, chickens are real.
And they're like, they're like three pages
and just packed in and it's like.
It's like a scene basically.
Yeah, it's a scene.
Yeah, I guess that this one is from 1859.
But he might not know if you want to take a stab.
I'll do 1860. I'm doing prices right rules fucking fucking me. Yep. No, it's good. What he did is very smart
I want to do year one. I'm gonna actually say your one. Oh shit. Yeah
1915 January 26th. Okay. All right
Post Christmas sure
Little Rock Arkansas. Okay. It is the daily Arkansas Gazette. The
first headline is is wounded by robbers. Okay. Forksmith battle. Forksmith, Blacksmith battles with two highway men.
Wow. This feels like 1830.
And there was still Blacksmiths in 1915.
I didn't know they were using the term highway men
in the 19th.
Yeah, highway men.
Is that was highway patrol guys?
Or is that like hitchhikers?
Highway men were like guys in England
who would rob you, they'd be on horseback
and they'd rob you while you were on in your stage coach.
Whoa.
So far, it's a land.
Yeah.
Land pirates.
That's right.
I'm the captains now.
In a battle with high women, Jesse Davis, a giant blacksmith.
That's on brand.
So he's huge.
Yeah.
I don't feel like there are a lot of tiny ones who are like, do you need another court?
But what if he was great? And he had to sort of like to fight the image like no one wanted the stuff
from him. Yeah, I can do the job. I've got this. No, I need a blacksmith that can really pound.
And it looks like you just be like slapping slapping it. I need a guy to really bang out the metal.
More tuning forks, sir.
More tuning forks, sir.
He was shot last night and as a salient escaped after police bloodhounds had trailed them for three miles. Davis was held up while passing a building into which two highwaymen had dragged another
victim to Robin. Wow. The man escaped when Davis became engaged in a fight with the robbers who apparently suspected
he had arrived to interfere.
The robber shot at David seven times.
So he was just cruising by and they thought he was there to save because he's giant.
So if a giant comes by, you're like, well, this guy is on the side of justice.
And then the other guy got away.
So he did kind of save him.
Hmm. He didn't have time to say I'm not trying to help. I'm just passing by. Yeah.
He'd been like, I'm with you guys. I'm telling you. He's like, I don't give a shit. I'm just
passing through. I like that. I don't give a shit guy. Yeah. Uh, that's a pretty good starting
headline too. Cause sometimes on these, it will be like
the weirdest opening.
Like the first thing will never, it'll be like,
you know, baby sick.
You know what, Jesus, that's front page.
Okay, so.
Oh, yeah.
Wonder whether officer is a hero.
A different one? Yeah. Is Wonder whether like a a hero. A different one?
Yeah.
Is Wonder whether like a DC comic character?
Wonder whether, not the weather, whether.
Weather woman of the other weather.
Wonder whether to gotcha.
Right.
GW Dent of Wabish and oh, it says of Wabish this county like it's like by the way our county
we're talking about.
Sure.
In case you were reading it and you're like, I don't, is it a our county or is it a different
Virginia Wabish.
Dent of Wabish and this county and TW Martin of Morgan City are in jail here charged with
having attempted to hold up special officer William Loving.
So this sounds like a little bit like a porno hold up special officer William loving. So this
sounds like a little bit like a parno. Yep, they're loving. Officer loving says he was
accosted by debt who pointed a pistol at his head in order to him to throw up his hands.
I love that throw him up. That like that like dates it so well. I would love to say throw him up. Throw up your hands. Pacha legs.
Loving says he knocked.
He knocked up the pistol with one hand
and with the other, he'd dent over the head
with his own pistol, knocking the man unconscious.
This definitely has, they like,
nah, like die like we go in it if you could.
Yeah, throw up your hands. Someone got two hand punched.
Yeah, remember how that used to be a thing?
Yeah, like what year did we decide?
Let's do singles.
The backhand serve.
Those are the 60s Batman years.
I mean, that should come back.
I want to bring it back.
I want to go to like Barney's Beenerier something
and get people ligerent and the best place for it.
The double, I don't understand why it would stop.
That should at least be incorporated into some fighting at this point.
They should have done a myth musters where they actually tested the efficacy of the two
handed punch and like a rock four punch oh meter.
Yeah, or like the sports science guy who I don't
know where he went, but he was around for like five years. I was like, these are amazing.
Bring him back for the double fist. We would have to dress of the period as well. We
had like that and shit just to get the real mechanics of sports science. Dirt on your
face. Yeah, a little musty. Yeah.
Loving says Martin then emerged. So he hit. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. over the head with his pistol in a similar manner, manner also knocking him unconscious.
So is this from the moon?
So these guys go said, yeah, I mean, honestly, birds are flying around every
time.
Yeah, this guy's a tunnel and a train came.
I guess you're way too close with their guns.
That's the same guy who did that move or those that is the cop.
It's the cop.
He's got a move.
He's got a padded move.
He's the butter. He's the butter. He's got to move. He's got a pat. He's the butter.
He's the butter. He's the butter. He's up a pistol with one hand. Right. Over there.
And then the weld gets so big. Raise the hat off of his head. 100%. And then he did
shoot a guy and he drank water and it came out through the hall.
Is the slide. So yeah, he then handcuffed both men. It took him to jail. Deaton Martin, however, say they were walking down the street when the officer attacked
them with his pistol without the least provocation.
They said they believe loving is trying to make a reputation for himself as a result of
the many recent robberies and holdups here. And then he selected them as fall guys.
Both prisoners were badly beaten about the head.
I believe. I believe we know what the truth is.
God just it.
I don't know why I did good.
I want to get a gun and like just pistol whip and never shoot it.
I just want to use it to beat people with the gun and never buy any bullets.
If you're out there, double fist hitting and you have an unloaded gun that you're
budding people with, you will make a name for
yourself. Yeah, I almost like Omar from the wire like this guy he just he hits you with his he has so
many guns no bullets. Yeah, he just legends you. He's always a party's beater. Yeah, he loves the deep
menu over this. Yeah, he loves that the menu is like a paper. This guy loves reading the menu like it's news.
For a time this morning, loving was a hero and there was considerable talk of raising a purse for him,
but since the stories told by the two prisoners
have become known, there's a general disposition to wait.
The results of the examination of the two prisoners.
So it's kind of like Jesse Smollett the cop.
Yeah, I, pretty much.
Okay.
Uh, you're saying,
no, I'm making, I'm making a joke of what the,
the people think I obviously still believe that those,
I believe everything, Jesse's justice for Jesse.
Yes.
Justice for just just.
Stop.
Judges. Uh, okay. Uh, we don't, you know, Yes. Justices for Jesse. Just stop.
Okay.
Okay.
We don't, you don't want to know about Pagan News, Pick Pultry Clubs.
Yeah, yeah.
What?
You want to know about Pultry?
Well, give a quick taste.
Pultry.
What's the chicken news?
It's tell boys and girls plan to loan them money at interest for a year and give them a
start. The Arkansas Pig
and Pultree Club, a state organization to finance farm boys and girls in helping Arkansas
to feed herself, was perfected at a meeting of the executive committee in Mayor Charles
Taylor's office yesterday. The club was organized in Poloski County, a pig or a calf for every
farm boy and a pen of chickens for every farm girl is the hope of the club.
Wow.
It's sort of like the distinction.
Yeah.
But it would be interesting.
Girl scan handle pigs.
They get their chicken.
That's a good point.
Yeah, you bring up a good point and think about that.
That was dumb question.
I'm sorry.
Have you ever met a girl that can handle a pig? They're, they're always
two people. I'm still still skeptical about voting. I mean, yeah, no, that's been fair.
Yeah. That's how you can, that would be the test. If you can handle the swan, then
you can vote. Yeah. All right. So that's exciting. I'm, I'm, we're assuming it didn't work
out. And then all the pigs and chickens died. vote. Yeah. All right. So that's exciting. I'm I'm we're assuming it didn't work out and then
all the pigs and chickens died. This is like a precursor to boys and girls club. Yeah, it's got a
check, but with pigs. Saved by mother's love W. M. Burgess 25 was released on his own
recognitance by Judge Judge Grace and will never be brought to trial on
a larceny charge if he behaves himself.
Burgess and two companions were arrested several weeks ago and charged with the theft of a few
articles from a buggy.
His other highway men, highway boys.
He's a highway man.
His parents started from their home in Elden, Iowa to a system.
The father was stricken with paralysis while in Elden, Iowa to a system. The father was
stricken with paralysis while traveling through Missouri and had to return home. So that
just happens. That's just part of all of the 15.
Yeah.
Paralyzed.
What is the life expectancy then? Because you hear 25. You go, ah, that kid doesn't know
any better, but over there, he's like, why is that old man doing all that stuff? This man is too old for this bullshit.
He's 25, he's got another 10 years.
Yeah, it's like seven or eight.
He's how long most people are.
And this man just became paralyzed.
Yeah, he was struck by prowess.
Is that, you know, you're in your wagon,
you're with your wife and also you're like,
I can't love my feet.
Well, the body quit.
Just organ trail, ailments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, organ trail
She presented oh, so the mother returned the dad
The mother kept going on the chip the dad went home. I don't know how he got back paralyzed
I like I like the call there. She's like well, I'm done. See you later. What are you gonna do about it?
As all he's like you bet you son of a bitch. I should have given you those chickens.
She presented me that says she gets there. She presented me that many letters
attesting to the previous good character of her son. Her plea to judge Grace brought the release
of the boy who was urged by the jurors to show appreciation of the love that prompted his mother's sacrifices. Mother and son started the trip home.
So, so mom got let off because they were like your mom loves you. So, yeah, that's, that's all
reading it. Really? My mom would have told me this story by now. Like that's something my mom would have filed away,
just like see the power of a mother's love.
I mean, so the other two guys who are the companions,
their mothers were like, nah, no, no, it's a little,
that's a bit of an ask honestly.
Good luck in jail.
A whole letter.
I'm feeling busy.
I, yeah. And then the judge was like, well, I got a sleep. Good luck in jail. A whole letter. I'm kinda busy. I got a napkin.
And then the judge was like,
well, the jury's requested a hug
in order to prove the affection.
And then he's like,
there you go, and they're like, that's real.
Yeah.
And they're like, where's your father?
He's like, he would be here,
but he can't move his arms.
He can't hug.
You father can't hug.
What did you do with him?
I just put him in a different wagon and sent him home.
Okay, that's good. I wish that could have had I got a DUI once and I certainly wish that that could have happened
Your mother was no where to be found no where to be found no
No, no, it was a beach she wrote this like heartfelt letter and the guy read it
He's like why the fuck do I have this and he still sentences you? nothing. Yeah, well, that's what it would be now kind of.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Well, you're gonna really suffer a jail for sure.
You see a little too nurtured.
Is there gonna be a dark place for you?
Oh, your mom really loves you.
She can call you when you're there.
This will be beaten out of you in a few weeks.
Burglers at Ozark.
Burglers rifled through the office of Dr. GD War in last night, and finding a no cash,
stole the doctor's fine fountain pen.
Oh, wow.
What a, this is at Earth.
That's Earth.
1915.
I've had my fountain pens stolen before and this has got to be tough.
You're good.
Oh, but what do you do?
Like you wake up in the morning and the feathers not there and you're like, oh my God,
what happened?
I'm not gonna be able to write to, well, my day of journaling's ended.
Yeah.
Also, there's a lot of GW's and R.S. is in all these J.G.s.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're not getting the full name in this paper.
Well, a lot of times for him, they will be like,
give the address.
They'll like, they'll like be like,
this is what he looked like, this is where he lived.
And you're like, why is that going on?
This news, it was we're doxing out the gate.
Yeah, everyone got doxed.
Meat market cleaned out.
Nice.
Heber Springs, burglar's entered the meat market of Lawrence brothers Monday night
and stole every scrap of meat in the place.
But see, that is such like a dumb thing because why?
Well, there, I mean, that's probably a lot of meat.
And my guess is that they're going to like, it's just going to go bad. So they're going to have's probably a lot of meat and my guess is that they're gonna like it's just gonna go bad
So they're gonna have like three days of just like you know pounding meat and then
What if they just look for the people with the toothpicks like
There's guys and alleys they got two pictures of me. You boys look really satisfied.
Yeah.
And they don't do satisfied.
You fell as I never hungry.
You're always satiated.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know nothing about that.
You don't always pick and scraps from a Twisted James.
That brisket.
Yeah, so I do feel like that's one of those,
I mean, unless they're like jerking everything,
which evolved in there.
Or they have a big family and there's going to be a barbecue or something like that.
Maybe.
Yeah, but then that's like a good fellas thing where it's like, look, don't buy any new
shit.
Yeah, let me hilarious.
Like, all right, no barbecues after we have to join.
Yeah, it's gonna be no brazing.
All right, no brisket.
We don't need that kind of heat.
We don't need that heat.
People are gonna know.
I'm talking about you're not going on buying sauce.
No barbecue sauce, nothing.
Yeah, there's like barbecue sauce on the guy's quarter of his mouth.
He's like, what the fuck is this?
You're showing off.
You're parading it around.
This is his wife, Roxanne.
She just got a barbecue rig around the mouth. It's like a thing. Yeah, they're parading it around. It's wife, Roxanna. She's just got a barbecue rig around the mouth.
And they're just there all over her.
You're bibs.
What are you doing?
What we bought a few bibs?
What are you worried about?
We just, we got some bibs.
You being obvious.
We got cash me a bibs.
In saying black fears lynching.
Okay.
First of all, I'm going to say he's not insane right off the bat.
First off, right.
Suffering from the delusion that a mob of white men is seeking to lynch him, Jane Wesley.
What a slanted.
Yeah.
I mean, my God.
Yeah, it's called living in America in 1915. Hello. I'm
Whitey Caucasian. Here's my editorial. Yeah, we were just talking. We was just hanging out.
James Wesley remained in the woods three miles from Conway through Tuesday night snowstorm until
late yesterday. He was captured by deputy sheriff's J.I.
summers and Roy Hendrickson and placed in the county jail last night. Today he was judged
insane and will be taken to the state hospital for nervous diseases and little rock.
Well, this one's ripe for comedy. Yeah. Do you want to go back? Yeah, this guy this guy? Clearly was right. Yeah
Yeah, I mean
There's somebody sets up to him. He didn't just run off. We have a good history. We are a good
Yeah, I could this guy think he's gonna get lynched. Yeah, I can saw and what did they call him insane in the headline?
Insane black fears lynching.
Jesus Christ.
It's a classic headline.
You. It's just I always found little rock to be so progressive.
This is shocking.
It is a very progressive.
It was a called nervous tendencies.
Yeah, nervous tendencies living in the
seriously racist country of America.
Yeah, this being aware and observant. Yeah. in the very easily racist country of America.
Yeah, this being aware and observant.
Yeah.
And we are brought to you by Harry's, hey look,
Father's Day is coming up and that's a day for fathers.
If you guys didn't know that,
and what can we get to that?
What is the old man need?
Well, how about a sweet soft face?
I'm talking about razors and a high quality razor
you can depend on, hairies.
I look, they make better razors than anything
you buy in a store.
They got a nice weighted field to them,
great handles, great price, and they're refilled.
Now, you can order a hairie's razor and then sign up
and get refilled razors coming to your door when you need them
It's great. It's all good. I just got a nice little set. I got the got some body wash
I got the stone and the redwood. I got a nice travel set razor
I got the the weighted feel of the Harry's razor is truly the best thing about it
It's it makes it so much greater to shave. They look really nice
I got the shaving cream. I got the shaving
cream. I got the whole bottle wax. So I'm going to be a sweet, sweet, clean baby from now
on. And look, you can get a starter set now from Harry's $13 value for just $3 at Harry's.com
slash dollop. That's a week all a deal. It includes a five blade German engineered razor,
the weighted handle. Like I said, you got the foaming shave gel, you got a little travel cover and
then if you want shaving creams, they got before and after shave, they got body washes, they got high-jerrying loathsome, they got it all.
And you think that you want to put on yourself. So there's no reason to not try Harries. I'm telling you.
They have the highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry. So look, save the hassle, set up your delivery, and get the best quality shave with Harries.
Get a $13 starter set for just $3 at Harries.com slash dollop.
That's Harries.com slash dollop for a $3 starter set.
Thieves at Ashdown stole a gunslot machine from the Frisco station and a dog which was changed
chain to a caboose that stood at the station.
I feel like this was like a 1915 mad lib.
Yeah, yeah.
So they took gun slot machine.
Yeah, what is it?
It's gum.
Oh, gum.
They took gum and a dog.
Which is pretty good.
That's a pretty good haul.
Yeah.
I like the back-to-back pairing of that last article
in this one.
They would just go in that order.
It'll be fine.
And then some kids took a dog and gum.
You know, it's not different than the way
they do local news nowadays.
Anyway, you know.
No, that's so true.
That it pretty little wider now.
Yeah.
All five were dead. Kittens, kittens, kittens. That's
what they've got at the mall this month. It's a trident, true news method. Yeah. Yeah.
The downshift. Mm hmm. Of course, Larsen is most reprehensible, but if a man must steal, he might as well steal sensibly,
and it does not seem that a thief
who possesses a good supply of chewing gum
and a reasonably good dog is prepared
for almost any emergency.
What the fuck?
That's like McGiver philosophy.
He's, yeah, I mean, he's saying the guy is thief
and all he has is a dog and
gum. But is he also suggesting that that is like you're pretty much ready for anything
then? No, he's saying you're not ready for that. Oh, okay. I thought it was the opposite.
Okay, that makes more sense. Oh, no, he is. He is. Yeah. He's saying you got gum in
a dog. He's like, what can't you do? The sky's the limit if you got a canine as a gum. Yeah. All right. I'm corrected. Thank you, asshole. Well, that okay, that
was a bit much. I'm some spicy. J. W. Horton, a merchant, a W. Missed. Missed a train at
Hoxie and walked to Pocahontas. Then he missed a train back to Hoxie and returned on foot
completing a day's hike of 30 miles. So you walked 30 miles and you make the paper. Is this
like an inspirational story or something? What the angle is? Yeah. The angle is just, that's what
happened at JW and you know, they're all going to talk it. Yeah, slow news day Yeah, and I think the reason why it was so exciting was because he missed the two trains
They're like that's that's the angle right that that he walked 30 miles
Yeah, we get a lot of stories about missing train two trains. Whoa. Whoa
We've got a nickname
We've got a nickname. Okay.
Justice McConnell was called to try a case in which one woman put a black QS under the
other's eye to which he was made to pay a fine of $5 in costs.
What is QS?
What in the fuck just happened?
Why you're supposed to know? What's the QS? What in the fuck just happened? You're supposed to know. What's the QS?
QS?
QS?
Quaint, slot.
No.
You're kidding, right?
I don't know.
It seems like it could totally be.
So QS stands for something.
Obviously.
Yeah.
Also, how did she put it under the other ladies' eye? Oh, no. There's a lot of
questions. Yeah, this story. Like how do you hear about? No, everything's makeup. Everything's
like, do you need some QS for under eye bags? So she just wrote QS on a woman's eyes and then took off.
That's it under.
Yeah.
Okay.
I want her to pay.
I want her to pay.
I want her to pay.
I want her to pay for that impression.
Yeah.
And honestly, if I would pay someone $5 to write QS under their eyes now.
Well, Gen Z is paying people hundreds of dollars to do that with just tattoos no days.
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it is most.
That's like your face tattoo joke, which is so fucking funny, too.
Yeah, interesting to see like face tattoo styles change. Like now,
kids just have like letters and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's really
wild. It does seem, I mean, yeah, it's when you know you're old,
when you're like, you'll regret that someday. Yeah.
Well, you should have a Mike Tyson style.
That's a face tattoo.
What does just you have alphabet soup on there?
Well, and also remember when he got that,
we were all like, what's he doing?
Now everyone's like, that was pretty good move.
Yeah.
At the time, we were like, get him help.
Yeah, I can't see him without it now.
I'm like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, now everybody's like, what it now. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Now everybody's like, what if the tattoo made less sense? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
This is like logical. It's like, I remember you get that little tattoo on his face. Yeah.
I like how society expected more out of Mike Tyson. Why would he do that? Good Lord.
Think about your future, Michael. Mm-hmm.
Good Lord. Think about your future, Michael.
An old-fashioned spelling bee in which only grown people out of.
Wait, I can't read this word.
Oh, okay, an old-fashioned sp-
Start again, an old-fashioned spelling bee in which only grown people out of practice may participate will be held in series. Wow. It's like the
saddest spelling bee ever. So only if you're grown up and rusty, can you end it?
And when it's the last time you've been about five years, it I actually fully spelled any word. I mean, this seems like a Nathan Field or show.
Hahaha.
How do you prove that you're rusty?
Spell bad.
Big.
Shit, I don't know.
All right, welcome.
You're in.
You're in.
Who's the great idea was this?
I honest to God, I would love, we should just,
I bet you could sell a show of like grown-up
spelling bee.
Grown-up spelling, yeah.
Oh, 100%.
Yes, mock him.
Let's go.
This country's ripe for that.
And the kids who are good at spelling, there's from the sidelines, like this isn't for you.
This is for us.
Yeah, right.
You're too good and little.
Yeah, the bell guy would get the shit beat out of him out of like outside. Dink, you rang that bell with some real attitude,
motherfucker. You didn't let me finish the word before you ding it. You piece of shit.
You have a spelling bee in which a dumb adult's try to spell words and then you just have
like a five year old off to the sky. You do are you smarter than a fifth grader, but
the spelling bee version.
Yeah, I'm into it.
And it's really shaming and embarrassing and horrible.
Yeah, well, I mean, I think we're ready.
The Springdale news is exhibiting the picture
of an enormous catfish caught from the Grand River
in Oklahoma by CL Pratt, former resident of Springdale.
The news says the fish was more than 14 feet in length and weighed over a thousand pounds. What?
This is a picture. This is a photo or a picture. A picture of the catfish.
So that probably means someone just drew it and they were like, that's the one.
How can you doubt it? Look at the picture, the guy drew for him.
The evidence is right here.
Is that, can catfish get that big?
I mean, a thousand pounds.
That's big.
I mean, I don't, fuck, I don't know.
Let's find out the biggest catfish.
I mean, there's certainly, I mean,
how does it?
It says it was stranded on a riffle.
Oh, and then this is true. If it's a riffle, it's catfish, then for sure. And was dragged
ashore with a team. Sure. A riffle, when I tried to pull it up, it said Google the server
and captured a temporary error. That's what I got. They're like, we don't
want people to try to find out. Yeah. Just give it a rad stuff. You don't know. You're asking
a lot of questions. A rocky or shallow part of a streamer river with rough water. So
646 pounds in Thailand. So this fucking fish has lived like years and how big did they say this one was a thousand 14 14 feet and a thousand pounds
I mean, so he's just a big big the fact is of the pictures of a seven hundred pound catfish are
Upset it's real. It's upsetting. I mean genuinely
Hey, it's just like this fish was probably like I'm glad you caught me. I'm sick of running
I get stressed out under one,
I'm too big to be under there.
This is killing me.
Kill me, I got to write some cues under my eyes.
I mean, this catfish essentially beached itself.
Yeah, no, this is kidding.
It's like I'm out. Please take me.
Yeah, no, there's an article that's seven
of the largest catfish ever caught.
So yeah, they get pretty fucking big.
But the only proof they have is that the guy said it and a guy drew it, correct?
No, it's a picture.
I believe it's an actual photograph.
Oh, it's an actual photograph.
It's an actual photograph.
Oh, it's an actual photograph.
It's an actual photograph.
It's an actual photograph.
Oh, it's an actual photograph.
It's an actual photograph.
It's an actual photograph. Oh, it's an actual photograph. It's an actual photograph. It's an actual photograph. Yeah, okay, I just looked up the 700 pound cut fish and it's really really not okay terrible. It's a really not okay. It shouldn't be a thing. No, it's like the ring you guys are forever changed. Oh man.
I don't want to pull this thing up. I've heard you just trust me. Yeah, you know what it's yeah, I think Google was like, I don't think so.
Are you 18? Yeah, I have to sign off on it.
You should just seen this.
Audities in the war news, Paris papers are complaining that German prisoners in southern France
have so much liberty they wander about insulting the merchants in demanding to know whether the
district is still French or has become a German prize. Wow.
So those are German prisoners?
Yeah, it doesn't really sound like they're prisoners.
They're just, no, they're just like, yeah, they're free roaming assholes.
Yeah, it sounds like a tourist.
Yeah, is this still France?
Is this Germany yet?
You fucking asshole?
They're like, these guys are really unbelievable to us.
We said we'd give you freedom.
Yeah.
I love the things insulting the merchants. It was this Berlin France.
So what do you see? Okay. You tell you out. Maybe you shouldn't
let us fuck around. Stupid. Yeah. French. Domaz.
Stupid. Running on the schnitzel. Yeah. I swear. What should
they put them inside the prison? A method of curing fatigue suggested by a paris doctor
is being tried in the trenches.
This will be great.
I really gotta make sure I can read this word
because okay.
The soldier takes off his boots.
Like it already.
Lies down with his head on a sack.
Yeah.
This is so far, what we call sleeping.
This is when they read the sleeping so far.
He's called sleeping and then you close your eyes
and you go to the magic town.
It's going to be unbelievable.
I'll tell you, I tried his method, and it was crazy.
Eight hours later, you were fresh.
I don't know where I went, but I, whoa, I guess I just snapped out of it.
He sticks his legs straight up and supports them against a tree, a side of a trench or
the back of a comrade and then wiggles his toes.
Okay, so that's, that's going to stop fatigue.
I'm going to say you're going to find more trees than comrades playing ball in that.
No, you get, because you could do it.
Yeah, you could go down, yeah.
What to but, and you can do it the whole time.
Oh, I see.
I mean, are these just stress positions
that they are trying to play off as anti-fotigue?
Yeah.
That could be.
Yeah.
You will get naked and stack in a human pyramid.
There we go.
It was called Eiffel Towering, huh? Yeah. Yeah, you will get naked and stack in a human pyramid. There we go
It was called Eiffel Towering, huh? Yeah put our legs together, huh? I
Love that a doctor's wiggle. He just he was making it up. Yeah, and he was making it up on the flies Like then you take your shoes off. Okay, put your legs on the tree or your friends
Then figure your toes a bunch. What? Yeah, And then let me know. Are you tired? Yeah.
Well, yeah, keep doing it for a long time. Keep trying. You've been padded him on the back and there
was like a nice lunch and there's champagne for the few discovery. Like we are done again. You are
our best doctor. Yeah. And then some German was like, Oh, look at these assholes.
They're like, these fucking guys.
Yeah, we should lock them up.
We should really lock them up.
Inquiry as to feeble minded.
Well, we should have kept that going.
Yeah.
The house at the morning session,
it was a resolution.
By the way, not a lot of little rock news.
Well, I think this is a little rock news. This, okay, we've just been in your
hat. We've had quite a bit. I mean, the crimes have all been local.
Okay. All right. Okay. The catfish too.
Catfish was a nearby town. I mean, so it's okay. All right. Yeah.
The house at the morning session adopted a resolution by Mr. Joseph's
providing for the appointment
of a committee of seven House members to investigate as to what provisions are made by
the state for reducing the proportion of feeble-minded persons.
And to make recommendations for further provisions to this end.
So what is bottom line, this one, David?
I think how much are we giving the dumb?
Is that what they're saying?
I think that they're worried that there's too many dumb dumb people.
What?
It's the same problem that we have today.
We've literally went away.
I mean, the only difference is we were concerned about it.
Now we're just like, it's perfect.
Well, we can't call them feeble minded anymore.
Either it's like, we have to call a very serious person.
Hey, bad luck.
Hey, get out of that.
Hey, get your thoughts that.
The resolution declares that the proportion of feeble mind is, it's rapidly increasing
as indicated by investigations
of the inmates of the penitentiary in county jails.
So they went and like checked on prisoners and they were like, they're very stupid.
They're really dumb.
They're all really.
So was there a test within the inmates or the fact that you are in prison means your
feet were wounded?
I think we're going to the spelling bee.
I think they had a spelling bee in the prison.
In the prison?
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I definitely think that Google's down,
which is interesting, but I think that Google's down.
That's a movie.
That's a black mirror.
Yeah.
Google's down.
Dear God, the pentagon.
Mr. Biden, Google's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so feeble. You wanted to see me, Mr. President.
Yeah.
You need help with starting a war.
Yeah, my best friend, Clippy.
So feeble minded was used in the late 19th century.
For disorders later referred to as illnesses or deficiencies of a mind,
all kinds of degrees of educational and social deficiency,
they had a hierarchy, or ancient from idiocy as the most severe.
This is got a complex.
Inbicility was the median and feeble mind is at the highest end of functioning.
So feeble mind is number of functioning as good as you get.
Feeble mind is the best.
You know, it turns out I'm a little feeble minded, ladies.
I'm not an idiot, you know, I'm not a fucking idiot.
Not in basilic.
Yeah, you get your test scores back
and says feeble mind it and you're like, yes.
Yes, they got it.
I'm gonna be a doctor.
I'm gonna be a doctor.
I used to be an imbecile.
No, I'm gonna be a doctor. I'm gonna be a doctor. I used to be an imbecile. People minded. Well, this is Travis. You know, he's people minded. Oh,
Mother's top is a bow time. Yeah, well,
What's the lowest wrong? So people is top
Inbass in the middle. It is he is the lowest. Okay, so I guess paper and it's that guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess,
I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess,
I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess,
I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, We call it because for people minded kids. Man, he's gonna be funny.
Oh my God, an American psychologist, Henry Goddard,
Goddard coined the term moron.
Wow.
He was just like done with the,
he was like, and then there morons below the,
and that made the idiots happy.
Well, well, well, guess who's not a moron?
Hello, hello. It was just funny how language changes, but like we's not a moron? Hello, hello.
Is this funny how language changes, but like we mean the same thing, you know, like in the soul becomes out of vogue. Yeah. Then, you know, you just pick a new version of it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just changed. So this is associated with, this is associated
with eugenics. Then they start once they started ranking people, they were coming up with that.
Boy, you really like to ruin all the fun, don't you, Nick?
You know that?
Just get a little momentum and then stop for that.
It's fun.
If eugenics didn't have all the baggage, it sounds like a pretty cool thing, right?
If it came out on TV late night, eugenics, and there's some ripped guy. You'd be like, what is this about? All right. I like it. Yeah.
That's pretty good. Too easy payments. Yeah. Maybe eugenics can help me. Yeah.
Come to one of our eugenics clinics. Yeah, I will. Are you one of the chosen ones?
I also. We have ample parking. Well, I love eze parking.
ones. Also, we have ample parking. I love easy parking. Objection of more clerks, a resolution by Mr. Cousort to provide a clerk for the committee
on agriculture. And an amendment for a committee clerk for other committees brought out some
sharp discussion. So shit's getting real. Clerks.
Clirking. Claire and stuff.
Mr. Joseph subjected on the ground that there are already many clerks, some of them with nothing to do.
I am against any more clerks, he said. And if they keep making for more, I shall consider
introducing a resolution to fire all of them. The house then recessed for the.
Wow. That's the day. All right, we got Joseph's way to work up over the clerks. the house then recessed for the the the the
the
the the
the the
the
the
the the the
the
the
the the the
the
the the
the
the the
the
the the the
the
the the
the the the the the the the Kevin Smith movie. No, God damn it. Now there's a movie. Yeah, another clerk's.
That's it. That's it.
Uh, on page four now, hair on the marriage market. Hair on the marriage market. Hair and the
marriage market is the headline. It's a two-part. Wow, it's really. This is aimed right at me.
Is the headline to two parts? Wow, it's really.
This is aimed right at me.
Too many men have been unpleasantly surprised to find that their wife's hair,
which they had so greatly admired, was only a switch or transformation.
We now know that poor hair is a confession of either laziness or a lack of knowledge.
And that fair care with sensible means will ensure scalp health and hair.
Oh, it's a fucking ad.
So but it's an ad you.
Yes.
Yes, it's so effective.
It is.
It is.
I'm getting people.
But so there's still a lot of doubt for it.
This many years later, it's still working day so fell for it this many years later still working
Yeah, great grandson of race
But and it's also it's aimed it's aimed at
Making the women feel guilty on behalf of the men and it's right
You should only use shampoo
That is is made as shampoo. You shouldn't use other things.
Right.
I've been using regular people to
do it.
People just had a bar of soap and they'd be like,
I use this for my whole body.
There we go.
They're like, no, the hair is different.
I've washed my hair with talc.
Okay.
And so, and men are not happy when women
remove their fake
Men are good if you lied to me. Yeah, you're not woman Now let me take my hat off. I feel bad if it tricked us this many years later
I just picked you're a woman reading the paper thinking it's a legitimate article and the men wrote in and did this study
Like I have poor hair. Yeah. I need to buy this product.
I'm married.
Now sometimes when you like,
we'll like see a paper,
there are times where you'll be like,
oh, interesting.
These shoes are changing people's lives.
And then you're like,
advertise, but advertise, like they relate.
Or when I'm scrolling through Reddit.
And I'm like, oh, this is like a cool post.
It's just promoted.
And I'm like, ah, you almost got me.
Yep, almost.
Yeah, almost. Yeah.
Oh, look at this Wilson talked over the phone across the continent. It's the first phone call across the continent.
Oh, wow. Oh, man. Shit is fucking happening.
That's exciting. There's a hundred people to watch his phone call. Wow. Look at this.
That's exciting. There's a hundred people to wash his phone call.
Wow, look at this.
The Marriage of Youth and Old Age by Sophie Loeb.
Any girl who wishes to-
This is an ad to-
Yeah, it's an other ad.
I'm not following for this.
I think it's advice.
Oh, no.
Yeah, it's an advice column.
Any girl who wishes to can be an old man's darling, but not anymore for me.
If ever I am free to wet again, it will be to a young man who will appreciate a help
me and not merely a flower to wear.
Most men I know over 60 want to put a woman in a glass case and keep her only for their
selfish companionship.
Young company, that was my trouble.
I did not have it.
These are the words of a 22 year old Southern girl who is suing her 76 year old
millionaire husband.
Jesus Christ.
Some things never shake.
Yeah.
That's just disgusting.
It really is, especially then because like we were saying earlier, 76 that is 130.
Yeah.
So that is just like, that's what your whole body looks like the scrotum.
On account of his cruelty in making her a hot house flower, she further bonons her
lot saying, we were wet when I was 18.
I have no fun in life
I think that is the answer to whether a young girl should wet a man so much older
What do you thought you were gonna have fun with the fuck it all night?
He was he was spry for 76
He was so fun. We would do lots of stuff like put our butts together and wiggle our toes at a 90 degree angle and
We'd play wake-up and you don't know my guy do
But that was we got married. It was so much different that he started acting his age
But also if you're the young guy who's the rebound like
What do you think about that history like yeah, you know, I married the 76 year old millionaire, but like young guys know.
I would, I mean, in a way, that's like a great position
to be in, because you'll be like,
what a go for a walk and she's like,
you are just unlike anyone I've ever been within my life.
Listen to you, you're like,
oh my God, that kind of activity.
I don't know.
A beer?
You're having a beer?
Boy, you are a wild man.
a beer? You're having a beer? Boy, you are a wild man.
I don't know what to say about this. So this must be another column by a guy so waggs the world by Lawrence Cullen. We know a woman whose favorite authors are
Robert Chambers and Marie Corelli. Before she began to consume this kind of mental
problem, she really cared for her husband. But now she has discovered that he is a
totally disqualifying role of fat on his neck and that he is unable to plum
the depths of her nature and soar with her to the heights. Whatever that or those mean.
Wait, oh man, loving to the depths of our nature's
dynamite. Did I pop you into the depths of your nature?
Just looking to figure it.
How's your nature feeling?
No, what is this?
What is this point? He's just like, a lot of matter of fact, this
guy clearly has a girlfriend or a buddy as a girlfriend who started reading books
like romantic novels. And now, and now she thinks her husband sucks ass. And that would
get him out of this situation, honestly, a little bit. But okay.
And this guy's, yeah, this guy's blaming the books. He's like, this guy's the book.
Yeah. It was like a wrong calm of its time. Just wanting everything. Well, it's, it's all, it's a little like porn.
He's like, no, nobody could fuck like that.
Quit reading those books about plumbing deep into the, the depths of your nature,
your dreaming, a man's supposed to come before he enters.
That's what a man does.
It's got weird.
It's a, I've, look, I've said it, I've said it before this show and I'll say it after a man's supposed to come before he enters
It's a compliment
Greek meets Greek finally
Andrews Tahakis and Mike Comperes mixed it in a few
Strenuous moments at second and main streets at 6 p.m. yesterday.
So this was like the two Greeks are going to meet. The Greeks are mixing. Wow. Mixing it.
Before the arrival of Petrolman Campbell by the use of armed neutrality, he ended the combat and
placed the combatants under arrest. So it's two Greeks fighting. Oh, they fought.
the combat and place the combatants under arrest. So it's two Greeks fighting.
Oh, they fought.
Yeah.
No one mixes it up anymore.
I like that terminology.
Yeah.
I thought it was,
Yeah, but they didn't put up.
They just put mixed it.
Yeah.
I thought, to me, it felt more jovial,
but it's like the two Greeks fought.
Not as,
Yeah, there was nothing jovial about it.
Right.
But cops show up.
Yeah.
I want to know what the disagreement was over. Yeah. But a cop show up. Yeah, I want to know what the disagreement
was over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's another good ad headline a message to thin weak scrawny folks.
All right. You know, I'm talking to you.
This is an answer me at the paper. An easy to wait a game 10 to 30 pounds of solid I'm not sure if you're going to get fat.
An easy way to gain 10 to 30 pounds of solid healthy permanent flesh.
Thin nervous, thin nervous, undeveloped men and women everywhere are heard to say, I
can't understand why I do not get fat.
I eat plenty of good nourishing food.
The reason is just this.
You cannot get fat no matter how much you eat unless you
Unless your digestive organs assimilate the fat making elements of your food instead of passing them throughout the body as waste
Wait
It's amazing to have a targeted ad to get fat right off the bat. Oh my god
That'd be great like do you want to get fat? Oh you fast is fat only night infomercials
With my program like you need a program to understand a lot of Americans are trying to get fat and can't
But then he's also making the point of like part of the problem is you poop in it out
You got to get it to stick to you.
You got to keep the poop on you.
The key is to eat more than you poop.
The key is to eat a lot.
The thing's person's body is like a dry sponge, eager and hungry for the fatty materials
of which it is being deprived.
This guy is definitely not a doctor.
Picture the after body and it's just this fec
on a lazy Susan.
Well, you could do the thing where it's like,
you know, you jump out through like the old picture
of yourself, except this time you're skinny
and now it's like put on 48 pounds.
Like, that's right, I'm finally in the body.
I've always loved it.
Look at all this flesh.
You eat through the poster. No, I'm not eating anything. I'm like, I'm gonna in the body. I've always loved it. Look at all this flesh. You eat through
the poster. I'm all you know anything. I'm all gonna eat it all. So it's a, it's a,
it's called Sargol. It's got a good name. At least it's got one of those catchy names
that you're going to remember. Yeah. Sargol. Sargol. What if I'm like, I'm taking that
actually. That's the story. Oh, actually, I do take Sargol. Yeah. I take Sargol. What if I'm like I'm taking that actually that's the right. Oh actually I do take Sargol. Yeah, I take Sargol and say John's word
It's a wonderful flesh builder. It says
Jesus flesh build. There's nothing about this that makes me not want to throw up
Well, that was the hydroxy cut of of its era. Oh totally totally
Yeah, remember the rip doctor like I don't't want to do any doctor who's that shredded.
I don't trust their medical advice.
Like you weren't reading books if I could see every muscle.
I remember he's cut doctor.
Yeah.
He has a towel around his neck and he's with some dine piece.
Yeah.
And also a doctor.
I'm a doctor.
We just banged in the pool.
Listen, you need abs. Yeah. In addition to going to every music festival, I'm also a doctor. I'm a doctor. We just banged in the pool. Listen, you need abs.
Yeah, in addition to going to every music festival,
I'm also a doctor.
Here we are a burning man and I'm a doctor.
That was a good run.
I remember in college, I don't know if it was hydroxy cut,
but it was something like that.
And like a couple of friends of mine and I were like,
yeah, let's try it, we took it.
And like one of my buddies like hived out so hard
that we were like, put him down, put him down, put him down,
get him down, don't use him.
What's the, is it Ageless Male?
Is that the Frank Thomas one?
No, that's some, honestly,
we were, I think we were talking to Serenzyana,
but I think that one's New Genics.
So you're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Careful now. Yeah, but we're like to Seraph Yana, but I think that one's new genics. So you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, careful now.
Yeah, but we're like, all it is is like Doug Flutey and Frank Thomas,
basically just being like, we're banging.
We're really banging.
We've never felt and looked better.
We are banging.
I figured a girl at the beach.
All right, Frank, hold on.
We're filming.
Take it easy, take it easy.
Neat a houseboy and sir to Wad add in the Gazette and you will have the desired help before breakfast.
What?
Whoa.
I kind of want a houseboy.
So weird.
What was that houseboy's cue?
I mean, it gets you get your meals and I don't I mean, I could definitely use one.
You know what I mean?
Just like little stuff. Yes. Yeah, I'd use a houseboy. Yeah, it could definitely use one. You know what I mean? Just like little stuff.
Yeah, I'd use a houseboy.
If they were, it's a little weird.
I'd get people talking stuff.
It's a boy for sure.
Okay, but that's different than a maid, right?
He wouldn't be able, you wouldn't be cleaning.
No, this is like fetching the paper.
Just like a little task wrapping from this room.
Yeah, yeah.
Or you can like be your step stool.
You're like, I don't have a step stool.
Do the dishes.
Yeah, but that's made, that's made work.
So I mean,
I'm gonna cross out a little.
Houseboy is gotta be like the most
menial unnecessary tasks.
Houseboy, take a note down.
I need to find some things for you to do.
So we're gonna pitch on activities for you
that's outside of the realm of big work.
Or like house boy, change the input from cable to blu-ray.
House boy, turn the TV up a little bit.
That's my house boy.
That's a good house boy.
House boy, it's almost ass wipe in time.
No, I don't know Dave.
Yep.
The other house boys get together.
Mine makes me wipe his ass.
Jesus.
I'm not supposed to be doing that.
Stringing with paralysis.
Is this really going around?
Yeah.
Totally different.
Airborne.
CJ Millard, uh, another tenet street, a different tenant of the dress.
Gus Blas company was stricken
with paralysis of the right
side yesterday evening and was
taking a state vincents
infirmary.
So we didn't know what a
stroke was then.
Oh, yeah, this is a stroke.
Although his condition was
serious, he was resting well
according to a report.
So yeah,
another stroke.
Yeah, it is stroke.
Half of him was paralyzed.
I went away when they started
calling in a stroke. Well, probably when they started calling it a stroke.
Well, probably when they started to like, yeah.
Yeah.
Anti-Catholic meeting William Black delivered
the last of a series of lectures at Moose Hall last night.
Nice.
At the close of the lecture, arrangements were completed
with the Martin Luther Anti-Catholic Chatequois Association of Iowa.
It's really amazing how ways the way for Mark and saw.
It's always, religion just will never go.
No matter how, there's always pockets of people being like,
this needs to stop, but it's like,
the Catholic church is not ever going,
I mean, if they got through that last candle,
it's like, they are truly there. They got through that last candle, it's like, it's, they're,
they are truly there.
Yeah, it's like, it's not gonna be.
Yeah.
They're like the sandy hook and gun control, like nothing's.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, you're like, if it didn't happen, then it's like, it's never gonna happen.
Like, if there's still a, we're sorry about that.
Anyway, God is great.
And we just talked to him.
He's still talking to you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's a little myth about the boy stuff,
but other than that.
Saloon man acquitted.
Nice.
A. Gershner, prepare of the first and last chance Saloon,
was discharged in Justice David Meisner's court
in Little Rock yesterday afternoon
from a charge of selling whiskey on Sunday.
Ooh, you don't do that. Wow.
That is fucked up.
Come on.
Well, there's states that still do that, right?
Rit.
Yeah.
Still, still blue.
Yeah, like Houston, right?
Is Houston one of those or?
Really?
I feel like I thought that it all stopped eventually.
I remember when I was going to Salt Lake for the first time in like 10 years
and I was like, how can I acquire whiskey?
And they're like, bars, you can go to bars.
And I was like, really?
It's still the, oh, it's like a city, it's like a city.
But I was like, oh, I thought that I was unable to do it.
Do you have Starbucks around here?
I don't know.
I love the drink, caffeine.
What's the deal?
May I talk to one of your women about acquiring some goods?
Arkansas still illegal.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
In most counties on Sunday and Christmas day.
So like having a weed dealer like someone who actually stockpile some
like you need a
no leg high if you want some booze on Sunday.
That is a great.
Yeah, that's a great job.
Yeah.
Yeah, that be a Sunday boo leger.
Well people would always on Saturday night they would always or Saturday they would go
to get all their booze.
Well, in Boston you couldn't buy you couldn't buy any booze on Sundays when I was living
there.
And then except for the six weeks around the holidays,
which I always thought was pretty nice.
They were like, now you may be a foot on alcoholic around this time.
But, but we'd always forget.
We would always be like, oh God, damn it.
And then you'd stay.
And then you drive to like new Hampshire.
Right.
And you'd be like, the fur, it's very much like weak.
Like it really is.
It's like when you like live in a state where it's still criminalized and you got to go one state over. The second
you cross the border, they're like, welcome to weed's bill. You know, there's like a big arrow
and there's cops sitting there like, what are you doing?
Yeah, so these are the these are the states that still have restrictions.
Texas, West Virginia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, Arkansas.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
It's a lot.
I mean, it's it's it's varieties like some no liquor but beer like it's but it's still.
I mean, what would happen if like you know how certain things and when you play Sim City,
it'll, there'll be a ripple effect.
I remember if they let it just there was no laws against this, what would would happen? Is it really stopping something or is it just left over from yesterday or?
Yeah, absolutely not stopping anything. I mean, yeah, it can't be. If anything, it's
just encouraging like binge drinking hard on Saturday. Yeah, yeah, stockpiling. Yeah, stockpile.
Back to the story, CG Roberts prosecuting witness arrested in Little Rock Sunday for illegal
intoxication, was unable to testify that he had bought his whiskey from Gershner's
saloon.
Gershner was arrested yesterday by Deputy Sheriff Brown.
So the guy was really drunk and couldn't remember.
He got arrested for being drunk and then the sheriff was like, who's your supplier?
And he goes, as is the bar.
I don't remember.
And then by the time the truck came around, they're like, so what happened?
He's like, I don't know.
It's drunk.
Right.
That's pretty good then.
I mean, that is why it's a pretty good crime if you're like the, the whiskey dealer.
The whiskey slicker.
That's what he is a whiskey dealer.
Girls parents bring suit against J. W. Lippencott.
Boy, I really think he pointed out the initials.
It is, I don't know if it's just really because of the gregious.
It's like the, it's like the New York Times because everybody misses.
But everyone's officials, G. W. G. W.
I'm thinking like PT Barnum. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Soot for 50,000 was instituted yesterday in the circuit court by GW and Miss GW
brining against J.W. Lippencott charging the ladder. GW versus JW. Yeah. gets GW versus JW. Yeah. Jesus.
That'll be easy.
Yeah.
Charging the ladder with the betrayal of their daughter May, they ledge as grounds for the
prayer in damages that the daughter now 18 was in the employ of the defendant more than
a year ago.
And then the defendant used his position as employer in debatching the girl, the plaintiffs claim that because of this,
they will have to support their daughter and her child.
Wow.
No one will want her now.
Yeah, well, she's now spoiled.
She's spoiled fruit.
So the suit alleges that he used his sort of power to take advantage of her.
He seduced her.
Right.
Or he took, or he did.
I mean, the thing about these laws is
you can't tell the difference between whether it was just
an affair without marriage or he actually did sexually assault.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, well, I mean, we're inching closer and closer towards
this version of reality.
So this will come back.
I could totally see that.
But I'm going to look into my crystal ball and guess that this man was not found guilty.
I bet you the jury was so worth.
So we fucker.
Good Lord.
You wasted everybody's time.
Yeah.
There was like no rights for living back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not so strange about this.
Jerry, have you reached your decision?
Yes, my decision is solid fuck.
As you showed up, we find a defendant a man who
we taste this miss.
All right, Dave, One or two more.
Yeah, we're wrapping up.
Yeah, wrap it up.
Um, Robert's frightened away.
Nice.
Robert's who attempted to enter the first national bank early Saturday morning were frightened
away when they stepped upon a hidden button, which is connected with a big gong on the
outside of the bank building.
What the fuck kind of buster king? Who runs the bank? Kevin McAllister?
This is my bank. I have to protect it. It's a story about an alarm.
A gong! A gong!
I love the racially insensitive this booby trap is a gong that poured water into a It's just like an appropriation rule, Goldberg machine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha frightened by a silhouette of Michael Jordan. He assumed there were tellers in there when they were playing. I've been dreaming of a white Christmas. Little rock to play normals.
Little rock high school meets the strong Arkansas state normal basketball or what is it the mascot the normal
the normal and the mask on the mask
cuts just the guy I'm one of them.
You just come out and you rips out of the
thing and it's just like hey I'm Doug.
Hey I am a Doug.
Yeah I'm actually on the team but I'm
injured on the mascot.
The normal let's go, normals!
He's like, make some noise or not,
whatever you guys wanna do.
I mean, you guys wanna handle it,
beat the mirror, whatever you wanna do.
Come on, normals, play regular!
Dig team, be average!
Last year, the local high school team
decisively defeated the normals in two games.
This year, the normals expect to get revenge.
What the fuck, who like the normal go with wildcat?
It's not, I mean, honestly, I know it's like a stereo.
Just do it though.
Just like dream big.
Yeah, I dream something, the normals, the average is er.
Ah, well, lovely paper Dave.
For him, thank you so much for joining us
you have a great episode
for him and were calm and the special hat trick on you tube
uh... yes a pleasure thank you
thank you
you
you miss me honey
some of these days
You'll miss me honey
Some of these days