The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 28 - The Talk Board

Episode Date: October 26, 2014

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine spiritualism and talk boards.Tour Dates Dollop MerchSourcesPatreon

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gara. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to tickling quite good. Okay. You are queen

fakey of hate uptown. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Oh my god. No. I guess he's done my friend. Oh and you just touched me with your sock foot? That was pretty fucked up I agree. That was a egregious podcasting. That's not okay. We're not there. So here's how we're going to do the podcast today. I'm just going to rest my sock feet on your knees. Better be a small up. I'm going to put them underneath your shorts. No underneath my shorts. Awful. Not happening. Just a couple of gentlemen podcasting. No not anymore. Not anymore. Once you put a sock in my shorts there's problems. You

know what? Is there? Yes. No I'm being very definitive. There are problems then. Alright I mean I thought you were better at this. Better at what? Podcasting. No no. Nice try. Nice try asshole. This is our Halloween episode. Spooky already. Yeah hang in there. One of the greatest religious movements of the 19th century began in the bedroom of two young girls living in a farmhouse in Hidesville New York. Okay. I did not know that. On a late March day I don't know how they knew that. Yeah right. And around what time of day did you conceive this? In the afternoon around 413. On a late March day in 1848 Margarita Maggy Fox who

was 14 and Kate her 11 year old sister way late a neighbor eager to share an odd and frightening phenomenon. Okay. Every night around bedtime they said they heard a series of wraps on the walls and furniture. Just like gangster wraps or? Like a not just like yo. Yeah okay. No I mean that would have been awesome. Yeah that's way better. In 1848 if someone's like dropping beats. My name's Tupac. I'm from the future. What's happening in our house? They hear a series of wraps on the walls and furniture. Raps that seem to manifest with a peculiar otherworldly intelligence. Wait so wait the wraps

had that? Yeah so I think that they're like asking questions and it's if horses have two eyes knock once. Oh my god. Okay. Oh my god. I can't believe it's the late afternoon. The neighbor skeptical came to see for herself joining the girls in the small chamber they shared with their parents. There's actually three girls but I don't know why it doesn't mention the third one here. While Maggie and Kate huddled together on their bed their mother began the demonstration so mom was in on it. Okay. Or I think this is confused I think there are three sisters anyway. Now I think my son just threw a baseball against

the wall. Okay. Sure. Now count five she ordered and the room shook with the sound of five heavy thuds. Okay. All right. You're in a room you yell out count five and then there's the room shakes. There's five thuds. Yeah. That's something. Count 15 she commanded and the mysterious presence obeyed. Next she asked to tell the neighbor's age. 33 distinct wraps followed. Jesus. Okay. You scared. I mean I'm here. You scared. I'm less scared than when you put your sock on. If you are if you are an injured spirit she continued manifest it by three wraps and it did. It might just be a yes and or it's going along with a

lot of it could just be a really good comedy sports. Yeah. The Fox family deserted the house. Right. They deserted the house. Sure. Oh this was and sent Maggie and Kate to live with her older sister Leah. Okay. So that's where the other sister comes in. So they were so scared by this that they sent the daughters the two daughters live with their older sister in Rochester. They're like you need to get out of this house. Gotcha. The story might have died there were not for the fact that Rochester was a hotbed for reform and religious activity. Okay. The same area gave birth to both Mormonism and Millerism. Oh

boy. Which was a Millerism. Millerism was like it eventually became like Seventh Day. Okay. Ventism. Yeah. I like the idea of like using your last name to be like it's Millerism. No asshole. Have you heard of Anthonyism? Hello. In the Church of Anthony. Community leaders Isaac and Amy Post were intrigued by the Fox sister story and by the rumor that the spirit likely belonged to a peddler who had been murdered in the farmhouse five years beforehand. Wait. Now how do they know that? Thank you. Like like a what if you're a peddler who died rap nine times. Two one two three four five six seven eight. Nine. Okay. Thank God. If you

go through so many occupations. If you were a dentist. Did you drive carriages? Rap nine times. Oh no. Okay. Maybe we should just say like three or four raps. No, no, no. The more raps the better. When it hits it'll hit. It'll hit hard. 45 raps. If you're a cobbler. Come on. Let it me work. Jerry. This is my process. So naturally also like so they knew that a peddler was murdered in the house and then they lived there like was it I guess cheap. Yeah. No. Yeah. You get that peddler murder discount. Add up a group of Rochester's residents examined the cellar of the Fox's home uncovering strands of hair and what appeared to be

bone fragments. Had no one ever gone in the basement. Yeah. Bone fragments. Bone fragments. Not murder. I mean he was shattered. Well a peddler exploded in the base. Okay. Let's be clear. A glass peddler fell. Rap 95 times. If you're a glass peddler who's been smashed. I'm gonna take a nap. No, you stick around. When it hits it's going to hit. We will appreciate it. We lost count around the thirties. Could you start again? Excuse me. Peddler. We lost count around 50. Please start again. We're not sure if you're a peddler. The post invited the girls to a gathering at their home anxious to see if they could communicate

with the spirits in another location. Isaac Post was swayed by very distinct thumps under the floor and several apparent answers. He was further convinced when Leah Fox also proved to be a medium communicating with the post recently deceased daughter. So the other daughter is a medium and she's like oh yeah I can hook up with your kid. Yeah. Your dead kid. Sure. What do you want? You want to talk to her? Sure. You're dumb of the peddler. We can talk to your dead boy. Is that what you want? Yeah. What do you want? Whatever you want. Girlboy. Who died? Whatever it is. Let's talk to her. Rap 65 times if it was a boy. Jesus. The

post rented the largest hall in Rochester and 400 people came to hear the mysterious noises. Afterward Amy Post accompanied the sisters to a private chamber where they disrobed and were examined by a committee of skeptics who found no evidence of a hoax. Skeptics slash perverts. They did find perky breasts. Yeah there were some guys who were like so if we don't believe it we can't just see the girls naked. I am just not sold. I am I don't. I'm not buying this. What I think we should do is take this 14 year old and 11 year old and get him naked and make sure all is on me up and up. Let's go to the skeptic room. Holy

shit I am skeptic. Well I saw the girls naked and now I believe in the afterlife. And boners. And boners. Modern spiritualism the idea that one could communicate with spirits had long been believed in Europe but this was the first time it had taken hold in the US. The entire country became enthralled by the Fox girls. So they're like the Kardashians. Oh God now you've done it. The 19th century American seer Andrew Jackson Davis who had become known as John the Baptist of modern spiritualism. That's a little wordy for a business car. Very bullshit. I'm basically well what am I what aren't I. Do you know John

the Baptist is. Yes. Okay I'm like that but I talked to spirits. I'll see you later man. In 1918 47 he published The Principles of Nature her divine revelations and a voice to mankind. So it's just everything he does is long. Yeah. That's the longest title in the history of books. This guy. Even ghosts are like okay I'm just I can't really. Holy shit. It is a truth he asserted predicting the rise of spiritualism that spirits commune with one another while one is in the body and the other in the higher spheres. All the world will hail with delight the ushering in of that era when the interiors of men will be

opened and the spiritual communication will be established. Davis believed that his prediction happened a year later on the very day the Fox sisters first channeled spirits in their bedroom. About daylight this morning a warm breathing passed over my face and I heard a voice tender and strong saying brother the good work has begun. Behold a living demonstration is born. So he's a stupid ass. It's a great way to wake up. Yeah that is weird if you feel if you are walking by a warm breathing. Oh yeah. And it's not even a warm breathing. It's saying something warm breathing. It's basically someone's hot breath. Yeah.

Hey man it's on. Hey brother brother. God I need some gum. Listen brother. It's hot brother. Davis invited the Fox sisters to his home in New York City to witness their medium capabilities for himself. By joining his cause with theirs he elevated his status to a leader in the spiritualism movement unlike their Christians unlike Christians American Christians who adopted spiritualism. Wait. Unlike the Christians Americans sorry. That's okay. I put there instead of that. It's unbelievable. Yeah. So unlike Christians Americans who adopted spiritualism believe they had a hand in their own salvation. Okay. And direct

communication with those who had passed offered insight into their fate. So they they were like well if I can talk to dead people and they're and I'm like hey how is it and they're like oh it's cool then I'm it's gonna be good when I die. Yeah. No. Pack light. How is it over in death land. Good. There's cheez-its. Rap a hundred and forty times if it's okay. No. What. I. Excuse me. What. I'm tired. Let me do what I'm tired of as a spirit. I'm tired of knocking on shit. If that's valid. Rap 400 times. How about you ask me to ring a fucking bell. Not a not a bad idea. Not a bad call. Maggie Kate and Leah Fox embarked on a professional tour

to spread the word of the spirits. So now they're going on tour. It's like cats at this point. They're heading out. They're taking the show on the road. And they're blowing it up. Mustapha Lee's time baby. Yeah. An editorial the scientific American didn't buy it calling the girls spiritual knockers from Rochester. Okay. Unless I can see them naked. Then boy how do you know I retract everything. The only way to be convinced of ghosts is to look at young women naked. I must see bottoms. Boobs. They conducted their they conducted their sessions in the hotel's parlor inviting as many as 30 attendees to gather around a large table

at the hours of 10 a.m. 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. Admission was one dollar and visitors included preeminent members of New York Society Horace Greenley the editor of the New York Tribune James Cooper editor and poet William Cullen Bryant and a abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison who witnessed a session in which the spirits wrapped in time to a popular song and spelled out a message spiritual. I mean are you serious. What like the ghosts are hacks now. Hey how you do it. What pop by the way what popular song was there back then. I'd love to know what a popular song was. Oh my god they were super into rap. Yeah. There was a lot of electronic

happening. What was a popular like here. Oh you've got to hear this song song back then was like do you like the dandelions and sand and dirt. They also spelled out a message spiritualism will work miracles in the cause of reform. I mean OK so they're also super into politics I guess. Yeah they're political OK so they're political spirits who are down to sing and put on shows because they're touring. Yeah they're having a good time. It sounds like a lot of fun. Leah stayed in New York entertaining callers in a dance room while Kate and Maggie took the show to other cities. Among them Cleveland Cincinnati Columbus St. Louis

Washington D.C. in Philadelphia. Cleveland are you ready to hear some rap. I said are you ready for some raps. Ready for some knocking. Stand up Cleveland. If you're ready for some raps let me hear you all rap 590 times. What. Sorry. I just yell out numbers I don't think ahead of time. Sorry. The thing is now I'm making a more and more so it's getting cartoonish. Maggie fell in love with a guy who basically didn't buy the bullshit. He didn't believe it and he spent six months trying to figure out how she was doing it. He never believed. He never believed. The idea that you're going to a place to hear something knocking. Right. Like you're paying money

to play. But this was entertainment back then. I didn't have a lot going on. What was wrong with their DVRs. He encouraged her to give up her quote life of dreary sameness and suspected deceit. Honey honey check it out. I love you but I would enjoy it if you would give up your life of dreary sameness and suspected deceit. Can you quit the deceit on for me. Quit making this ghost wrap. She gave in. Okay. And she married him shortly before his untimely death in 1857. Huh. That's interesting. Yeah. Okay. So what are the spirits doing now. Yeah. She's like okay I will not do my thing anymore and he's like thank you kissy kiss marry

dead. But if they were married he must have seen her naked which means he saw her naked. Then he had to believe. That's how you swing a skeptic. You've heard about this right. No I did not know that. I feel like. She's just got to see naked. Yeah. Anybody naked. And it hurt. One of the foxes naked. Then you believe. Because there's nothing if they don't have like a I guess it would be like a stick that they could poke like and usually if you have a wrapping stick you tuck it in your vagina. Is that right. Well that's in the skeptics handbook. That's why they have to be naked and that's like to search them. I knew it. Look right there. It's

like going to prison. Okay. So you're just hiding. Yeah. Okay. Sure. So to honor his memory she conferred she converted to Catholicism. In morning she began drinking heavily and vowed to keep her promise to Cain to holy and forever abandoned spiritualism. So Maggie's out. But he probably didn't approve of the alcoholic life she'd take. He was probably like maybe. She never he never said don't party. That's right. He didn't. She never asked. Enough with the deceit. Yeah. Enough with the deceit. Cain meanwhile married a devout spiritualist and continued to develop her medium powers. Translating spirit messages in astonishing and

unprecedented ways. Communicating two messages simultaneously. So what. So that means she would be like. She's like having two talks. Well yeah it's like knocking. She's probably just knocking with two hands or whatever. I don't know what's happening. She's having two conversations with her hands. What am I saying. She's not even knocking. The ghosts are knocking. Well the point is. But she's like tying. She's like if you used to like horses three wraps. You wrote a bicycle right. Four wraps. And back to Larry. That was it. The ghosts are just like could you focus on one of us. She doesn't even look anymore. People in the

audience are like. She is having two conversations. She's not a medium. She's a large. She'd also write. One while speaking to another. I mean that's so stupid. So she would write to one. She'd be like hey how are you. While she was talking to a different one. The one's like why am I getting letters. We talk to us. She's like. I'm here. You talking to the other guy. What are you. I don't want to. I don't want to read. I'm writing you a letter. Don't ruin it. Crazy. People like this is amazing. She's. I just saw the greatest show where a woman. A ghost banged on a table and a woman wrote a letter. It cost a dollar.

Really good times. Money well spent. She would also transcribe messages in reverse script. I mean we don't even want to know. I don't even know what that means. It sounds like she's writing backwards. Awesome. Utilize blank cards upon which words seem to spontaneously appear. Yeah but no. No. No. Not happening. No. Very intrigued. During sessions with the wealthy banker Charles Livermore she summoned both the man's deceased wife and the ghost of Benjamin Franklin. This is awkward. Hey your wife is here but hold on. There's a big man in the house. Can't believe I'm being double billed. Then fucking

Franklin. Can I go. Hey Charles I want to stop in and say hey. The idea that Ben Franklin has to just do like you know meet and greets in the afterlife. Fuck sake. Ben can we get you in the real world for a second. Somebody wants to prove for God's sakes. I was a god damn it. Hello. What was he. He was an inventor and a president. Whatever. Was he not. No he's never a president. Why is he on money. Because he was money baby. I thought that was a prerequisite. That's why he's on money. Are there any other non. He signed the Declaration of Independence. Yeah. And he did. He was like an ambassador to France and stuff.

Well I don't think it's too late. Her business boomed during and after the Civil War as increasing numbers of bereaved found solace in spiritualism. Prominent spiritualist Emma Harding wrote that the war added two million new believers to the movement and by the 1880s there is an estimated eight million spiritualists in the United States and Europe. But that's just because so many people they like died. That's exactly right. So the Civil War happens. All these fucking people are dying by the droves. Yeah. And so they're like oh this sounds. Yeah. Dad's still here. I can talk to him. Yeah. He just

wraps now. Yeah. So that so but eight million people for the population back then. Oh that's crazy. Huge amount. Yeah. I'm shocked that public consciousness was swayed in such a silly direction. First I've heard of it. These new practitioners expected miracles like Kate Summoning. Expected. Of full fledged apparitions at every seance. See that's the problem. See the wrapping. The wrapping used to be fine. Not enough. Now she's reinventing. Yeah. They have to appear. She's writing fucking letters. Always has to get bigger. It's like when Carrot Top had a Vegas show. Like it's a little thin. He's got to stretch it out now. It's a lot like

that. It's very much like that. Two trunks. Two trunks. The Carrot Top story. For Kate it was tiring. Both the movement became exhausted by it. She became exhausted by the movement of the bullshit. The bullshit movement got her tired. And she began to drink. So that's two sisters hitting the booze. Yeah. On October 21st 1888 Maggie Fox appeared that evening at the New York Academy of Music to publicly denounce spiritualism. Okay. This is the. Yeah. This is bad. This is the Catholic one. The one that converted. Right. The one that married the guy who died. Right. Who died immediately. Who would make

you think oh I should go back to spiritualism. Yeah. Well it shows you how much they didn't believe in it. Right. If her husband died she's like now. Her main motivation however was rage at her sister Leah and other leading spiritualists who had publicly chastised Kate for her drinking and accused her of being unable to care for her two children. So it's a family thing. Now the girls are fighting. They are the Kardashians. Yeah they are. They're boozing and one's like you're boozing too much and that's all. I am holding this press conference to let you know my sister's a bitch. My sister Katie and myself were very young

children when this horrible horrible deception began. Maggie said at night when we went to bed we used to tie an apple on a string and move the string up and down causing the apple to bump on the floor or we would drop the apple on the floor making a strange noise every time it would rebound. Okay. Okay. So there their rapping was an apple on a string. Hold on. What basically what I'm deducing here is that with an apple they discovered noise. I mean that's how it seemed. They discovered it does seem like they could make noises. It does seem like a long road to hoe because right now they're not talking about spirits

they're just talking about making noises with apples. So they're fucking more and they were alone right. Yeah. So they were alone like did you hear that. There's a correlation between when I pulled the string with the apple on it and the wrappings. The sisters graduated from apple dropping to manipulating their knuckles joints and toes to make rapping sounds. I mean it really makes it sound like they invented touching stuff. Which had to be around. There's no way they were the first ones who were like when you put your hand real hard on wood it just listen to that noise. I think my guess is they were trying to scare each

other without the other one being able to see it. Okay. But they both know. Yeah. But at some point. Yeah at some point you'd be like I get it that your toe knocking on the banister. But I'm gonna pretend it's not an apple on a string. Bunk. You got me. A great many people when they hear the rapping imagine at once that the spirits are touching them Maggie explained. It is a very common delusion. Some very wealthy people came to see me some years ago when I lived in 42nd Street and I did some wrappings for them. I made the spirit wrap on the chair and one of the ladies cried out I feel the spirit tapping on me on the

shoulder. It was pure imagination. Maggie offered a demonstration moving her shoe removing her shoe and placing her right foot upon a wooden stool. The room fell silent and still and was rewarded with a number of short little wraps. Maggie insisted that her sister Leah knew the wrappings were fake all along and greedily exploited her younger sisters. Before exiting the stage she thanked God that she was able to expose spiritualism. Okay so now let's go back to the years of all these people trying to figure it out and it's just these ladies fucking hitting their toe knuckles on shit. If these skeptics weren't... What about the

husband who spent six months trying to figure out how she was doing it and she was just fucking knocking her toes on shit. Did you not look at her toes? Really what the fuck is happening? I mean like you would think that you would hear about this and you would all you would want to do is try to debunk it. Instead they're just like well her story checks out I heard the wrappings. Her foot moved at the same time but I've never heard of a correlation between the two. Oh feet do not make noise. Absolutely not. Feet can't make noise. That's science. Unless Benjamin Franklin comes on and invents it. Okay the mainstream press called the

incident a death blow to the movement and spiritualists quickly took sides. Well that the mainstream media doesn't know how stupid people are. No they don't. They a lot of times they underestimate the stupidity of a man. Yeah yeah whatever motive Maggie recanted her confession one year later insisting that her spirit guides have beseeched her to do so. Okay hold on so I don't have any money anymore so the thing I said about the toes and wrapping that's all bullshit. What a lunatic. I was forced to do it by the spirits. Who's with me? So the spirits that I said were fake were actually using me to pretend

to be fake at the time. Good day. Can I get a dollar? Her reversal prompted more disgust from devoted spiritualists many of whom failed to recognize her at a subsequent debate at the Manhattan Liberal Club. I don't know what that means. They just ignored her. They treated her like a ghost. Yeah. There under the pseudonyms Miss Spencer, Maggie revealed several tricks of the profession including the way mediums wrote messages on Blake Slates. Wait. By using her I know she's going back and forth. She's the same one. Yeah. So she's debunking again. Yeah now she but as someone else she's going in and

pretending she's going on under pseudonym and even though she's come out and said it's real and now she's going in and she's fucking crazy. Yeah. Okay. Out of her fucking truth. Okay. Including the way mediums wrote messages on Blake Slates by using their teeth or feet. I don't even know what that means. I mean what are they demonstrating. Yeah. I mean if I see a letter written by a ghost I mean there I don't I can't see anybody using paper and pen at the show. Right. Okay. Just so long. She never reconciled with her sister Leah who died in 1890. Kate died two years later while on a drinking spree. Maggie passed away eight months later

in March 1893. That year spirit spiritualist formed the National Spiritualist Association which today is known as the National Spiritualist Association of Churches. I thought it was going to be the Republican. So they're all dead and they all died. They all died relatively young it sounds like and they fucking booze the shit out of it until they kick. They went on what is now known as a drinking spree which is a first. A spree. There's benders but a drinking spree. All right. That's something else. All right girls. In 1904 school children playing in the sisters childhood home and hides. Oh my god wait. Wait.

What. So now the rappies are the rappers. Is that what's about. I don't I don't I'm not saying anything. I'm just getting on the Halloween story. Oh boy. In 1904 school children playing in the sisters childhood home and hidesville known locally as the Spook House. Oh good. Discovered the majority of a skeleton between the earth and crumbling cedar walls. Were people not getting buried. Bone fragments. Everyone's buried under houses. A doctor was consulted who estimated that the bones were about 50 years old giving credence to the sister's tale of spiritual messages from a murdered peddler. No. No. No. No. No. There's no

no. There's no new evidence. They found bones. They found bones. Exactly. They found bones. It doesn't mean that the sisters were now right. Yeah. Because they know it does not. One plus one equals nine. OK. Not everyone was convinced. Five years later. Good. Another doctor examined the skeleton and determined that it was made up of only a few ribs with odds and ends of bones. Among them are some chicken bones. So the first doctor was a ghost chicken man. The first doctor was the worst doctor ever. He sounds like he was a good doctor for the time. He saw some ribs and some chicken bones and went there's a dead man. Well that's our

peddler. Most peddlers at the time were all ribs and chicken parts. You want to do something. They won't tell you about peddlers is that they were part chicken. Not a lot of people know that. They would come in on their tidy legs peddling. Clucking away peddling and clucking. He also reported a rap five times if you're a chicken man. Chicken. That first doctor. He probably examined people. It's clearly a peddler. It has a beak. Oh this is the chicken peddler. If I've ever seen one. That's right. A medical doctor. A medical doctor. I am. Yes. The degree is real. These are the bones of a man chicken. Oh here's the wishbone.

We want to grab one at Larry. All right. I wish for a real brain. Oh you got it. Trapped. He also reported a rumor that a man living near the spook house had planted bones as a practical joke. What the fuck is going on. America is a bullshit. There's shows there. Pranks. It's just horrible. The whole country is a prank. Well I'm going to play a joke out of a barrier skull. With a goat skeleton. Y'all been punked. My god. Oh burn. But nothing could stop spiritualism at this point. Spiritualism worked for Americans. It was compatible with Christian dogma meaning one could hold a

sance on a Saturday night and have no qualms about going to church the next day. Of course not. What did you do last night Martha. I talked to Benjamin Franklin. Oh well done. See you in the morning for church. Okay. It was an acceptable activity to contact spirits and sounds as though automatic writing or table turning parties in which participants would place their hands on a small table and watch it begin to shake and rattle while they all declared that it they weren't moving it. So I mean they're just liars. Yeah. Everyone's an asshole. Everyone's just like let's believe it for fun. Yeah. Who's doing it. I'm not doing it. Are you doing it. No. We're all doing it. Oh we're not bored. Oh my god. Well there's no TV. Yeah. The movement

also offered still I think I'd find things to do besides go to a table shake party. Have you ever been to a really good table shake party. I have not. No no no but my friend chicken man has. He's dead. He's a dead peddler. That's right. The movement also offered solace in an era when the light average lifespan was less than 50 years. Women down in childbirth children died of disease. Men died in war. Even Mary Todd Lincoln the wife of the president conducted seances in the White House after their 11 year old son died of a fever in 1862. People are desperate to connect with loved ones who'd gone away to war and never came home. So that makes sense. That makes sense. That's the only part of this that makes sense. I understand

that but still that table was not shaking. I can't confirm or not. No you can confirm that. But as spiritualism had grown in America so too did frustration with how long it took to get any meaningful message out of the spirits. Yeah. This is the 500 knocks thing. Yeah. Everyone's like okay come on. Just fucking say it. Say it. Just say it. Can you say it. We're having a say it aunts. Please just say it. Just say it. Calling out the alphabet and waiting for a knock at the right letter for example was incredibly boring. I mean just let the fuck go outside. Holy shit. Are you happy. 13 knocks. Really. I think he's saying he's sleeping but this is going to take forever with all these z's. God I'm so tired of talking to dead people like this.

Okay. Okay. Boring. Boring. Word. Oh talking to dead people is the worst. I mean what a fucking nightmare. People wanted to communicate with the dead quicker. Of course. The time. How dare they. The timing was perfect for the Ouija board. Alrighty. There we go. Shake the table. In 1886 the Associated Press reported on a new phenomenon taking over spiritualist camps in Ohio. The talking board. Oh god. The board was a board with letters, numbers and a planchette like device to point to them. Charles Kennard of Baltimore, Maryland acted on it. In 1890 he pulled together a group of four other investors. Elijah Bond a local attorney and Colonel Washington Bowie a surveyor to start the Kennard novelty company to exclusively make

and market these new talking boards. None of the men were spiritualists. They were all businessmen. They were capitalists. Yes. They weren't ready for money. The board needed a name. Bond's sister-in-law Helen Peters came up with the name. She was a medium. Everybody has a sister that's a medium at this point. Yeah. Like everybody's like, do you have anybody can talk to the dead? Oh yeah. Larry over here. He's next door. He talks to the adults. How you doing? I'm buried chicken bones. You did a dead talker? Yeah. Oh, I do that. I do that too. Oh, hey, I thought I knew you. That's right. That was crazy. That was great. I didn't do it. Me either. No, no, no. Absolutely. That was a spirit. Terrific. That was a spirit. Terrific.

See you at church. Okay. Sitting around the table, they asked the board what they should call it. The name Ouija came through and when they asked what it meant, the board replied, good luck. The first time they got the word Ouija, they were probably like, it was really shitty. Really Ouija? Spirit, could you come up with something a little catchier? What does it mean? It says good luck. Okay. It's good luck. Like, like it's saying good luck to you or is it like sarcasm? I think the board being sarcastic. He's being sarcastic. Let's ask him again. Good luck. Oh, are you being sarcastic spirit? No. Wait a minute. Well, that sounds very sarcastic. I heard nine O's on a no. Sounds very sarcastic to me. I think he's a ball busting ghost.

It was eerie and cryptic, except for the fact that Peter's acknowledged she was wearing a locket bearing the picture of a woman named Ouija above her head. Oh, what? Okay. I mean, do we even, let's just move on, but let's just call that the greatest shit in the story. What? Coincidentally, she was a woman's right activist named Ouija actually, but Ouija, okay. So Peter's basically was just like thinking, oh, here's a name of this woman that I like who I'm a fan of. I'll just spell it wrong and everything's fucked up. No, Dave, the spirits did it. So the board got the get go from a woman who couldn't spell. Right. Next day I had to prove that the board worked so it could be patented. Well, therefore it should never have been patented. Easy. Easy peasy. Yeah. Bond brought

his sister-in-law Helen to the patent office in Washington when he filed his application. Of course, the chief patent officer demanded a demonstration. Of course. I love that this is the time when you could walk in and go, I would like a patent. Well, hello, sir. Yeah, let's do this now. And yeah, and he's just like, well, I'm going to need to see you spell with your hands first. Then I'll believe it. I won't believe it till I've seen though your hand moved the board. He wanted the board to accurately spell out his name. He wanted her to point at the letters in his name. No, he assumed Bond and Helen didn't know his name. He was like, okay, let's see if this thing actually works. Spell in my name. Not realizing Bond was a patent attorney

and probably knew the chief. Yeah. The chief's name. They sat down, communed with the spirits, and holy fuck, the board spelled his name. I had a feeling. Yeah. The chief patent officer went white and was visibly shaken. What kind of witchcraft is this? You are approved. Yeah. It works, sir. Get out of my office. Oh, the table shaking is yesterday's news. Bond was awarded a new patent for his toy or game or hell mouth. The first the first patent offers no explanation as to how the device works. It just says that it does. Cool. The less the Canard company said about how the board worked, the more mysterious it seemed and the more people wanted to buy it. I mean, that you may as well just say they were so

full of shit they didn't want to talk about it. Right. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's actually was the description at first. That's the board. We're so full of shit. We're not going to tell you how it works. We won't let you scratch the surface of our bullshit. It went on the market. It was called a Ouija, the wonderful talking board, and was described as a magical device that answered questions about the past, present, and future with marvelous accuracy. Oh, yeah. The board was also said to provide a link to the material and immaterial, the known and the unknown. It was marketed as both a mystical oracle and as family entertainment. Cool. Not a lot of things can hybrid those.

This is hell but good for a family dinner. You can talk to the dead with the kids. Yay. This meant that it was. Whoa. That's terrible. Everybody's like, hey, dead people. They're like, hey kids, are you ready to talk to the monsters you can't see again? Here we go. Sleep tight. You know how your grandpa was hitting the head by a horse? Let's talk to him. Let's talk to him. Oh, listen to him. Just like Gramps. This meant that it wasn't only spirituals about the board. In fact, the people who disliked the Ouija board the most tended to be spirit meetings because it was putting them out of jobs. Unbelievable.

No, that's too bullshit. Stick with us. We're just pretty bullshit. The Ouija board appealed to people across a wide spectrum of ages, professions, and education. It was an instant success. Of course. By 1982, the Canard Novelty Company went from one factory in Baltimore to two in Baltimore, two in New York, two in Chicago, and one in London. I mean, that is fucking ridiculous. Shit is blowing up. That is really insane. Shit's blowing up. Five factories to make a Ouija board. Shit is blowing up. It's like the iPad. Yeah, yeah. The Canard Novelty Company's incorporation papers read,

the said corporation will be managed by five directors who will manage the concerns of the said corporation for the first year. Now, that's a really stupid thing to put in a business document because if you just say one year, then it just means one year. Right. That was taken literally one year later. Colonel Washington Bowie dismissed the other founders of the company, except for Harry Wells Rusk. So he was like years up. You guys put in there that it'll be year. I've got the most money in here. Oh, fuck yourself. And he takes one of them. He's like, but you're cool. You're cool. Fuck you guys. But you. Hey, Rusk, I like your name. Come on, Russ. The others were bought out. He then renamed the company the Ouija Novelty Company

and put his close friend William Feld at the helm. For 26 years, William Feld ran the company. When interviewed about the Ouija, he was amusingly frank. He was a Presbyterian. He didn't believe it was a medium of communication with departed spirits. But at the same time, he thought the Ouija was a reliable advisor in matters of business and personal life. He offered an example. What a large... Dave, I can't wait for what... ...offered an example. No, you can't talk to the dead, but I tell you what, it helps in business matters. Oh, they're crazy if they're trying to talk to the dead. It's how you do business. That's what it's good for. You don't know about this company, IBM, but they're gonna start and this is

how they're gonna start with a fucking Ouija board. When a large shipment consigned to St. Paul, Minnesota, got lost, a search by railroad officials failed to find it. Fudd asked the Ouija board and it was directed into Ohio, right where it had been misdirected. To find more Ouija boards, he asked the Ouija board. We really need to deepen some horseship. Ah, no, no, no. No, it's practical use. It's for business advice. Good lord, you morons. Ouija board, should I invest in squirrels? Y-E-S. Oh, good, good Ouija board. In February 1927, William Fudd climbed to the roof of his Hartford Street factory in Baltimore to supervise the replacement of a flagpole. A support post that he was holding gateway and he fell backwards to his death. Jesus.

Just saying. You know what I'm saying? I'll back off. Back off. Yeah. And he went up there to repair flagpole. Yeah. And then leaned against a pole. Said one of the plebes. You know what, if the flagpole needs replacing, maybe the other poles need replacing as well. Yeah, very true. So let's not lean on them. Okay. Yeah. The man who started the Canard novelty company fought publicly for years about who invented the Ouija board. The ousted members launched rival boards that failed. Right. They would, they like, want, they like, they would like launch a board because the Ouija board has the alphabet and numbers. So they would, and a couple of things like yes, no, maybe. So they would launch a board that had like more words. Like now they'd be like, look, there's the word

chicken. And I like, I like that the spirits have like brand loyalty. No. No, we just, we're good with Ouija. The other ones are too talky. Too many words. What, what's this word here? Grip? Too much. Charles Canard continued to invent things. At one point he filed a patent for something called a weird A. Oh, what the fuck is it? But there's no record of what it is. Oh, shit. Isn't that amazing? What is the weird A? He fucking filed a patent for the weird A. See, we need to get a Ouija board and talk to him and find out what the fuck it was. The weird A? The weird A. How the fuck did that get lost? I wanted us so bad. If anybody can do any research, if we have, if we have an amazing research, you're out there. You find out what

the weird A is. I just, it's amazing. I mean, I just hope it's just a weird A. It's got feathers on it. It's super weird, man. Would you buy this? No, absolutely not. No, it's just a strange A. I wouldn't, I had no interest. I own the market. If we ever are looking for feathered A's, you know who to come to. And then get ready for off B. It's a little bit off. Oh, and let me show you my crazy L. Look at this shit, huh? You're going to believe this? I already got the patent. I already got the patent. Finally in 1919, but we sold the remaining business to, in interest to Feld before he died, obviously, his product J for one dollar. So I guess he was dying or whatever. I was like, take it, kid. Or he just was blackbellium.

Or a dollar was really valuable. The 1910s and 20s with the devastations of World War I and the manic years of the Jazz Age and prohibition witnessed a surge in a Ouija popularity. It was so normal that in May 1920, Norman Rockwell, illustrator of the common America, did a picture of a Ouija board in one of his many drawings. He was like the guy who drew. Yeah. So it was that big of a deal. More factories opened. The Ouija board was exploding. More factories. More and more. Strange stories about the Ouija board incidents. Incidents also became the norm. In 1920, National Wire Services reported that would be crime solvers were turning to their Ouija boards for clues in the mysterious murder of a New York City gambler, Joseph Burton

Elwell. The police were not happy about it. Because everyone's like, Hey, hey, I checked my Ouija board. It's Doc Ramkins. No, it's not. It's not Doc Ramkins. No, the Ouija board said so. Hey, I got a tip. I got a tip. No, from the Ouija board. Yeah. We don't want it. It's a tip. What? You know, no, get out. Mark. Yeah, Franklin over at 42nd Street. Yeah, he did it. He did the murder and because he you asked the Ouija board. Yeah. Okay, get out now. All these people lined up with their Ouija board. Hey, man. I was talking to the Ouija board and I think you might want to check the ocean. I talked to the Ouija for a little while last night. The worst time to be a cop. In March 1920, the Oakland Tribute had a headline Whole Town Ouija Mad. The town was El Cerrito,

California, where there had been an outbreak of weird occurrences and strange behavior associated with the use of the Ouija board. Seven people were reportedly driven insane and a teenager was found nude, reportedly, because it was easier to communicate with spirits when not encumbered by ghosts. I gotta take it off, man. I really gotta get into the spirits. Ghosts hate when you're clothed. Oh my God. Here's the thing about ghosts. If they can't see your dick, half the time they're not going to talk to you. I do it for them. I do it for me. It's a win-win. I'm just gonna get naked and talk to some ghosts. What are you doing? Okay, cool. I'll bring some chicken bones. Bye. Oh God, a police officer ripped off his uniform and ran devoid of clothing into a bank.

City officials held a town meeting to discuss the Ouija mania that had invaded the town. Mental health care professionals were called in to examine the town's entire population of 1,200 inhabitants. A prominent psychologist said this sort of thing happened with Ouija boards a lot, not because of talking to the dead, but because people caused themselves to go insane with hysteria. So they just freaked themselves out. Yeah. City officials made the decision to ban the Ouija board within El Cerrito city limits. See, I mean, just like we just go from one end of the stupid spectrum to the other. Problem solved. Yeah, problem solved. Yeah. No, nobody will ever use those again. In 1921, the New York Times reported that a Chicago woman

being sent to a psychiatric hospital tried to explain to doctors that she wasn't suffering from mania, but that Ouija spirits told her to leave her mother's dead body in the living room for 15 days before burying her in the backyard. That happens. Well, okay, so your mom dies. Right. What's the first thing you do? Get help and end this tough situation. Or you do the smarter thing and get out your Ouija board and you say, what should I do with the body 15 days spirits? Are you sure? Yes. Okay, real musky in here. But all righty. She didn't ask the sarcasm question. I think they're being legit. I know they are. It's going to be hard. Boy, it is really starting to hum in here. It's day eight. And I feel nauseous. I can't imagine what it's going to be like in seven

days. In 1929, two women Nancy Bowen and Lila Jimerson used a Ouija board to find out how Bowen's husband had died. Slowly, the board revealed a startling message from Charlie. Your morons. They killed me. It said. Charlie said. Charlie said. Who did it? The women asked. The board spelled out an answer letter by letter. Clothield. That's a terrible name. Clothield. Clothield. C O C L O T H I L D E. Clothield. Yeah, Clothield. Yeah, it's a terrible name. Terrible name and a murderer. It then added the killer's address and her description. Just like what like you can't like the bullshit isn't even consistent. No, it's a fucking map question now. It's very specific. You go between three to five p.m. Tuesday through Sunday.

He gave a description. Leave early, beat traffic. It's give your description short with Bob Terry missing teeth. Pretty spot on. Pretty spot on. It must have taken an hour and 45 minutes to get that information. Then Lila said, Oh, I know her. She's married to Henry. After the Ouija board session, Bowen started receiving letters saying Clothield Merchant was a witch who had hexed Charlie out of jealousy. So Bowen decided to kill Clothield. She went to her home, knocked on the door, and when Clothield opened it, Nancy Bowen pulled out a hammer and beat her down, then finished the job by stuffing chloroform soaked paper down her throat.

That's all I want to go. Well hammered and chloroform choked. When her husband was asked if anyone would want to have killed his wife, he said, Lila Jimerson. After further questioning, it turned out he was begging Lila and Lila had used the Ouija board to get Bowen's wife, Bowen, to murder his wife. How is this not an episode of Law and Order? Wow. Move over Amy Fisher. Jimerson was acquitted and freed. Bowen was released after pleading guilty to manslaughter and accepting a sentence of time served because she beat a woman to death with a hammer and they were like, well, I mean the Ouija board told her to do it. This is not on her. This is not on her. This is on the Ouija. The dude was begging. The dude was begging her, so everyone's like,

well, he was begging her. So she should be able to kill the husband. Yeah. And just because she didn't do it, had someone else do it through a Ouija board. You know what? Everybody gets off. You know what? We call this a win-win for everybody, except for the lady who's dead from a hammering. God. The co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill W., had a spook room set up in his house where he would contact spirits that helped him with his alcoholism. This is going to be the spook room, the nursery. Oh my God. The spook room. The pantry. This is my office. Oh, what's that? That's a spook room over there. Mancave spook room, other bathroom. One of the spirits he claimed was a 15th century monk called Boniface. He even acknowledged in his autobiography that he used

the Ouija board to create the program's famous 12 Steps. So the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are somewhat based on the Ouija board. Stay sober, everybody. Yeah. Hey, everybody. Enjoy that. There's a sobriety blanket now. In 1941, a 23-year-old gas station attendant from New Jersey told the New York Times that he had joined the army because the Ouija board told them to. Oh, God. In 1958, a Connecticut court decided not to honor the Ouija board will of Ms. Helen Dow Peck, who left only 1,000 to two former servants and 150 to 2,000 to John Gale Forbes, who was a spirit who had contacted her through the Ouija board. What can a ghost do with money? Like, what the fuck are you? Who gives? I would like that. $150,000 to go to the thing that's

not there. I'm gonna buy a great ghost yacht. What an idiot. I'd like to, I mean, imagine being at that will reading, you're like, for fuck's sake. You fucking serious, mom? And I leave everything else to the ghosts. Fucking dammit. In 1960s, 1916, Ms. Pearl Coran made headlines when she began writing poems and stories that she claimed were dictated via the Ouija board by a spirit of 17 century English woman called Patience Worth. That's basically how the Ouija board went on for decades. Just fucking shit like that. Yeah. In 1949, in College City, Maryland, a boy started exhibiting strange symptoms after he and his family used a Ouija board. The boy's bed would shake and furniture would move when he was present. The spirits were asking this boy took possession

and the boy's experiences became more and more bizarre. When medical science was unable to help the boy, a priest was called in. Nearly 30 years later, Peter, sorry, William Peter Blatty wrote a book loosely based on the boy's experiences. This book was to become the basis of the blockbuster movie The Exorcist. Oh, wow. The movie changed everything for the Ouija board. The Exorcist theaters supposedly based on a true story. The girl was possessed by a demon after playing with the Ouija board. In it, Chris asked her daughter, Reagan, if she knows how to use the family Ouija board. Sure, mom, I do it all the time with Captain Howdy answers Reagan. Who is Captain Howdy? Ask Chris. You know, Captain Howdy, I ask the questions and he gives the answers.

Yeah, you're going to know who the fuck Captain Howdy is. That part, no one said that. That part, no one said that. I was going to say, that felt Davey. The Exorcist completely changed up. People saw the board. It was once fun, good times, family, you know, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Now it was seen as a threat. See, and now, when was the Exorcist? 71, I think. I mean, we're still so stupid then. No, it's not. It's a bad device. It's nothing. It's a nothing device. Not anymore. Now it's a scary thing. It literally went overnight from being the happy fun Ouija board to now people are terrified of it. It's like Jaws. It's like what it did to beaches. It did to the Ouija board with Jaws to the beaches. Sharks can be dangerous. No, same thing.

Different things. Same thing. Sharks can kill you, right? Yes. What about ghosts? No. There we are. Almost overnight, Ouija became a tool for the devil and a tool of horror writers and movie makers. The board began popping up in horror movies, usually opening the door to evil spirits hell bent on killing everyone. Naturally, the Ouija board was denounced by religious groups as Satan's preferred method of communication. Everyone's like, yep, no, okay. So that's the thing. That's the devil's telephone. If the devil was going to speak to you, it would be through a board that you can buy through a company that makes board games. He's all knowing all evil and he is sponsored by Milton Bradley. Also, Parcheese is bullshit. In 2001, in Alamogordo,

New Mexico, the Ouija board was burned on bonfires. Okay. Good. Good that we're now that fucking crazy. Bring your Ouija boards down. We're going to end Satan's gateway. Christian religious groups still remain wary of the board, citing scripture denouncing communication with spirits through mediums. Catholic.com calls the Ouija board far from harmless as recently as lame way of putting it to far from harmless. So it's harmful. Like have you played Monopoly? Same thing. As recently as 2001 700 club host Pat Robertson declared that demons can reach us through the board. Even with the paranormal activity, Ouija boards enjoy a dodgy reputation. A Ouija board historical researcher says that when he first began speaking at paranormal conventions, he was told to leave

his antique boards at home because they scared people too much. Wow. So there's a guy out there who's like an expert on Ouija boards. And he's going around to give talks at paranormal conventions and everyone's like, leave it at home. And he's like, no, I'm in here to tell you it's not leave it. Leave it at home. My daughter, I can't talk about people were using in their like, in their living rooms on Saturday nights is now like, no, now it's the worst. But also, if you're going to a paranormal convention, you're just talking to ghost chasers. Yeah. Yeah. Peter, Peter brothers, sorry, Parker brothers still holds hundreds of thousands of them. Sorry, still sells hundreds of thousands of them. But the reasons why people are buying them have changed. Ouija boards were

spooky rather than spiritual and had an element of danger. But the real question, the one ever wants to know is how do Ouija boards work? We better be about to find out David. According to scientists, Ouija boards are not powered by spirits. Whoa, whoa, or demons. Yeah, this is tough to hear. They're powered by us. Oh, no. Ouija boards work on a principle known as the ideal meter effect. No, idiot meter. I don't think that's an actual. It's missing the T. In 1852, a physician, and this is 1852 physician and physiologist William Carpenter published a report for the Royal Institute of Great Britain, examining those automatic muscular movements that take place without conscious will or volition of the individual. It's like crying in reaction to a sad film or

something. Right. This happens. It's a reflex. Almost immediately, the other researchers saw applications of the it a meter effect in popular spiritual pastimes. In 1853, chemist and physicist Michael Faraday. Oh, yeah. Intrigued by table turning conducted a series of experiments that proved to him that the tables motion was due to idiometer actions of the participants. Yeah. He also did a lot of shit for lost for lost. Yeah, the TV show. Oh, you never saw it. No, what did you but what did he he came up with? Um, did he kind of event invent like pants, pants? He did a lot. He's a lot of lost the the the fuck what's it called the lower behind lost is based on his Oh, really work. Yeah. He was on a

cosmos. Plant jets in particular. Those are the things that you move around right on the Weegee board. What are they called? Plant jets. Sure. Let's swing for the fences across the they're perfectly suited for the idiometer effect. They used to be made of lightweight wooden board and fitted with small casters help them move freely. Now they're usually plastic and have felt feet, which helps it slide easily over a board because the spirits brains need to help. That's right. Yeah. Because Weegee boards work with groups of people, no one person can take credit for the planchettes movement. So then everyone acts like the answers are coming from a ghost. Yeah. Researchers at the University of British Columbia's visual cognition lab think the board

may be a good way to examine how the mind processes information on various levels, although exactly what to call those levels remain up for debate, conscious, unconscious, subconscious, pre conscious zombie mind are all terms that are being currently used. Zombie mind sounds good. I'm going with zombie mind. I'm in. Two years ago, three professors began looking at exactly what happens when people sit down to use a Weegee board because that needs to be answered. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's what we need to find out. One of the professors got the idea after he hosted a Halloween party with a fortune telling theme and found himself explaining to several foreign students who had never really seen it before how the Weegee works.

And they're like, we should go back to we should go back to Italy. We're going to leave. This is a dumb nation. He left the students to play with the board on their own. When he came back hours later, they were still at it, although much more freaked out. Then the professor talked to his other professor buddies, and they thought the board could offer a really unique way to examine non conscious knowledge to determine whether idiometer action because also express what the non conscious knows. So are you so how random is your movement? Correct. So so is there a part of you that knows something that you consciously don't know and it's being funneled through this

thing? Right. She's also creepy on its own. And a really hard thing to prove. Oh, no. Of course that. So first. So first, they use a Weegee playing robot. About that. Participants were told that they were playing with a person in another room via teleconferencing. The robot they were told mimic the movements of the other person. But in actuality, the robot was just amplifying the person's movement. So total fucking ruse, classic robot bullshit. What a waste of a robot. So I'm so I'm gonna do the I'm gonna do the Weegee boy with a robot. Yes. And there's a person on the other. There's a person controlling the robot. That's right. Why doesn't the person

just come in here? So what have you ready to start? Participants were asked a series of yes or no and fact based questions. Is Buenos Aires the capital of Brazil? Were the 2011 spirits is Buenos Aires the capital of Brazil? Yes. Why is the robot making noises? I'm going to go to the bathroom. What? This is when it gets weird. When the participants were asked verbally to guess the answers to the best of their ability, they were right about 50% of the time. Oh, boy. But when they answered using the board, don't believe in the answers were coming from someplace else, they answered correctly 5065% of the time. What? So stupid. Then the robot broke. Oh, dear. The spirits didn't like the robot Weegee. Next, they had participants play with another person,

but the participant was blindfolded. At some point, the other guy would take his hand off the planchette so the participant wouldn't know he was using it alone. The results were the same as with the robot. 65% correct answers with the Weegee board, 50% when they were just asked. Okay, explain that, Mr. Skeptic about the Weegee board. They have some dumb fake confidence. Wrong. It is now believed that the Weegee board could be a very useful tool in investigating non-conscious thought processes. Those type of questions include how much and what the non-conscious mind knows, how fast it can learn, how it remembers, and even how it amuses itself, if it does. The professors are now working on a second study, but oddly, they are having a hard

time getting funding. Well, really? It turns out the usual funding agencies don't want to fund a Weegee board study. Is that right? So now they're crowdfunding to get the money. Oh, classic science. Yeah, that's how science works. Still, the Weegee board has not been used well at times. In 1990, six United States Army soldiers went AWOL when a Weegee board warmed them of a coming global cataclysm. The Weegee board put the six soldiers in touch with an entity that named herself Sapphire, and others, including those presenting themselves as the Old Testament prophet Zechariah, Mark of the New Testament, and the blessed Virgin Mary herself. Oh, cool. The Weegee board trifecta. Just hanging out at an army base, doling out advice. You know the Virgin

Mary. Hey, who am I talking to? Blessed Virgin Mary herself. A big fan. Big fan. Hey, I like your work. Not sure I really buy the Virgin stuff, but I like it. I like it. Leave. Okay, bitch. You got it, lady. All right, lady. Between December 1989 and July 1990, the Weegee Summon Spirits gave the group a series of predictions of coming world events. The group took copious notes. When some of the Sapphire, when some of Sapphire's prophecy started coming true, one stating the exact dynamics and number of casualties of a major earthquake in Iran, it convinced the six that they were dealing with genuine transhuman encounters. Okay. Okay. Sure. They felt that they were chosen to act as instruments of God's will. Their oath to the military obviously seemed to be of less importance than following

the orders of God. No, no, no. Now the Weegee board's come falling. That is, that's where you need to be. Yeah. Did I mention these guys are NSA agents? Oh, of course. Good. Good. Good, good, good. Good. They asked Sapphire how to carry out their divine mission. Sapphire. Sapphire. Need we say more? They're communicating with like a stripper. So, just me, Sapphire, the Virgin Mary, Benjamin Franklin, get out of here guys. I'll tell you guys, if you give me 20. Before, before she would like, before she would interact with them, there would just be like a ghost DJ like, all right, now come to the Weegee board, give it up for Sapphire. Sapphire, come to the Weegee board. Coming out to Panama by Van Halen.

Panama. Get out of here. Her prophecies are so hot. Sapphire instructed them to flee the military regardless of the consequences because they were needed to help lead the world through an impending cataclysm. So they did. They went AWOL. When they deserted, each left a copy of the letter dictated by the spirits in hopes that the letter might make its way into the hands of the president so that he could know the dire times ahead. Then they left their base in Germany and traveled to Chattanooga, Tennessee, where they bought a van and drove to Florida. Cool. So they were the Scooby-Doo gang. I love how they went to Florida. Yeah. We got to save the world. Let's go to Florida. All right. Let's get a van and go to Florida. We'll start from there.

No, but they go to Chattanooga. Yeah. Chattanooga and then road trip. Let's go. So we're totally out of the way and they go to Florida. All right. Unfortunately, the van had a broken tail light and they were stopped by police and arrested because they were AWOL. Yeah. They explained that they were on their way to kill the Antichrist. The Weegee board told them to kill the Antichrist. Who's the Antichrist? I don't know. He lived in Florida. We don't know who? Well, the police were like, all right, cool. Where does he live? West Palm. All right. That'll be the end of that topic. Now to the AWOLing. No more questions. Since they were all high up NSA intelligence officers,

they reduced to the lowest rank and took an enormous pay cut. Oh, yeah. An FBI investigation and covered their Weegee board manifesto complete with accurate prophecies of the Gulf War and the earthquake in Iran. But New York City's destruction by a gas leak and the second coming of Christ have yet to occur. Hey, wait for it. 50%. Wait for it. Pretty good. Who could predict a war in the Middle East? Yeah, who would see that coming in the 90s? Who would think that? In 1990, you could not imagine a war. No, no, no, no, no, no, sir. There's no industrial comp. No, no, nothing like that. Nope. Well, in England, Harry and Nicola Fuller were asleep in their cottage in Wadhurst,

East Sussex, England on February 10, 1993, when someone entered their home and shot Harry with a single bullet in the back. His wife ran for the phone but was killed with four shots. Harry Fuller, a car dealer often carried cash. And this night was no different. 13,000 pounds were missing. Suspicion quickly fell on Stephen Young, who was 100,000 pounds in debt. He was tried and convicted in March 1994 and given life in prison. I'm waiting. Waiting for what? I'm waiting for why. That's just the story. No, there's going to be another detail now that's about the Ouija board and it's going to sound crazy. I don't think so. But an appeal was filed and a new trial awarded due to a Ouija board. Even with my expectation high, that is

the craziest way to put it. A new trial because of Ouija board. Turns out some of the jurors used a Ouija board after drinking session at a hotel during the trial. Those jurors told other members of the jury at breakfast the following day that they had contacted one of Young's victims who confirmed from beyond the grave that he was the killer and guilty. Oh gosh, a jury of your peers deserved. He was given another trial and convicted again this time without the Ouija board. Just this year, sorry, not just this year, in September 2000, 29 hardcore gang members at the Santa Clara County Jail made their own Ouija board on the back of a Scrabble board. Oh my god. They fashioned it, they fashioned out their own planchette. They then summoned a dead woman

and freaked the fuck out. The prisoners went to the guards for help. They reported that they've summoned up some spirits but were think we've gathered the wrong kind of spirits were feeling possessed and scared and nervous. Can you imagine a guard? These are hardcore. Yeah. These are like Mexican mafia guys. Oh my god. The inmates behavior was even more unusual considering they were not mental patients or first timers unaccustomed to jail. The sophisticated and inmates generally don't show fear, said a guard. Fear is a weakness. The prisoners complained so much about being possessed that for removed from the dorm, a Catholic priest arrived and blessed the 29 prisoners. The priests also sprinkled holy water on them and their bunks. The priests visit calm prisoners.

Good. Let's listen. Stick to making shives. Stick to shiv life. Would you like the rules of the Ouija board? Oh Dave. To close it out? Yeah. Let's have the rules of the horseshit. Never use a Ouija board if you think it's just a game. I'm out. I'm out. Never use a Ouija board alone. Yeah. Because you can't manipulate it on your own. I get that. Just shush me. Never use the Ouija board to cemetery. Too powerful. It just gets so crowded. Yeah. You'll just get inundated with messages. Yeah. Never leave the planchette on a Ouija board when you aren't using it. Yeah. Because the spirits will just chat away. They'll just chat, chat, chat. Don't do that.

Never forget to say goodbye to the Ouija spirits. Oh fuck you. I'll go when I'm done. If you don't say goodbye, then they can stay. But we never actually said hello. They can stay. No. If you don't say goodbye, thank you. It's like, it's like you, it's like not tipping. It's like don't invite a vampire into your house. I won't. Unless you, unless you invite them in, they can't come in. It's the same thing with the Ouija spirit. And if you don't, if you don't close it out and say good day, sir, then they're like, I'm going to stick around. I'll be in your refrigerator. All I'm thinking about is just how awkward it must get to get vampires into your home sometimes, the first time.

Well, you have to say come on in. Yeah. But they're just standing on the porch. You're like, so? They're like, hmm. That's exactly what happens. Hello. That's exactly what happens. Would you like to come in? Oh, thank you. Yes, finally. Tom, Tom, Tom. Always be respectful and never upset the spirits. I think you're full of shit. That's hard to spell. Never let the spirits count down through the numbers or go through the alphabet as they can get out of the board this way. What? The premise of the board is that? What is it? What is it? It's science. It's basic science. If a spirit can count from 10 to 1,

they're free. Okay. Let's just go to the next rule, because that one makes no sense. No, it's a, it's like a rocket blasting off. No, it's not. It's science. No, it's not. If the planchette falls from the Ouija board, a spirit... Cut your arms off. Kill your brother. If the planchette falls from the Ouija board, a spirit will get loose. Well, that's quite, that's, that's some real high stakes for this fucking thing. Yeah, don't fuck with me. When you drop the dice a monopoly, you don't like raise zombies. You don't know that. Oh boy. The board must be closed properly or evil spirits will remain behind to haunt the operator. Yeah, that's true. That one, that one's true. Don't fold it backwards.

Don't know. Put it in right. Clean up nice. Otherwise, your life is going to be hell. Aren't you glad you got this toy? Isn't this fun? If you place a pure silver coin on the board, no evil spirits will be able to come through. That's, that's true. That's like the silver bullet and the werewolf. Yeah. It's the same thing. Yeah. Just give them a coin. Also, if you lay your dick on it, it gets weird. Yeah. If you lay your dick on it, you're going to have a year of good luck. Yeah, it's in the rules. Yeah. If the planchette goes to the four corners of the board, it means that you have contact in the evil spirit or a demon in your life. So that's good to know. Yeah. You don't want to go into the corners because then you're like, ah, well, that's why I would just

advise people to not push it to the corners. Oh, it's interesting. The very first Ouija boards were made out of the wood of coffins. A coffin nail on the center of the planchette window served as the pointer. There just wasn't other wood around. Wood shortage. Hey, was that a coffin over there? You want to make, you want to make a game out of it? Um, yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Let's, let's use that coffin wood and make a game. I'm in. Ouija board will scream if you try to burn it. Oh, will it? All right. Let's go buy a fucking Ouija board and let's find out. Oh, do you know how loud when they burned those Ouija boards in New Mexico? Do you know how loud this was? Oh, yeah, people were like, oh, god, the shrilling. Oh, the shrill. Bring your plugs. Shit's going to get loud.

No! People who hear the scream have less than 36 hours to live. Oh, good god. No more. There is only one way, one proper way to dispose of a Ouija board. Oh, and what is this? Break the board into seven pieces and bury them on each continent. Sprinkle it with holy water and bury it. What? No, I'll just throw in the fucking garbage like trash. That's it. So stupid. It's not stupid. It's the Halloween Ouija board episode. It's so stupid. Anyway, the movie comes out, I think, this week. You should definitely check that out. Ouija the movie. Oh, god. We're just so, and we're even now, we're in our own dollop now, but you're just so susceptible to the dumbest shit. We're

just so stupid. It's fucking amazing. We just keep getting convinced of different bullshit over time. And then we look back on the old bullshit and we're like, that was stupid. But people still use this shit. Oh, constantly. And get freaked out by it. People still get freaked out about it. I mean, it's not the slender man, but it's something. A lot of basement use. Put it like that. December 8th, we are doing a live dollop at Meltdown in Los Angeles with our guest Patton Oswald. And you get tickets for 10 bucks. Do you know what we're going to do for that one? I don't know yet. I haven't decided. I have an idea, but I have to. Patton is very well read in tons of this shit. So I have to find something that he

on the same page for a lot of it. Benjamin Franklin was a president. That is, I mean, that is shocking. I'm appalled at myself. But I really, it's a reasonable thing to, yeah, I could totally put it. Why are we putting, you can't just put assholes on money. These are for the top notch guys. Well, he signed the dude Hickey. Yeah. Big deal. He put his fucking signature on something. And he was super important. That's not enough for me. It's the hundred. Okay. The best and brightest. He invented the hundred. Fair, fair, then. All right. And now people are going to call in and go, he was a president, you asshole. I hope he was. All right. That's the dollop. Thanks for enjoying our Halloween episode. Yes. Everybody enjoyed it,

but Gareth. No, I enjoyed it. It's just fucking insane.