The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 284 - Lincoln's Body

Episode Date: July 20, 2017

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the journey of Lincoln's body. Based on "After The Funeral - The Posthumous Adventures of Famous Corpses" by Edwin Murphy SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE... MERCH

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Starting point is 00:00:46 History podcast. Each week I Dave Anthony Lawnmower. I'm gonna go get some milk. Gardener. Are you out? What? Just thinking about my backyard bro. What did you lay? Bark? You lay bark? I put bark down, ripped up a porch, put bark down instead. You know this is the intro to the show right? Barklayer Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to a guy. Named Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is gonna be about. It's really taken on a life of its own. That's true. Is what true? What? Statement you just made. Yeah it's taken on a life of yeah these intros are no. But you don't know anything about it? Nothing about what? The story? Yeah I
Starting point is 00:01:46 don't have any idea what the topic's gonna be about. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. You know. Have you sent me anything? Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to tickling people. Okay. You are queen fakie of made up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Free. Hi Gavie. No. I think that my friend. No. Hi Dave. Sorry we fought earlier. We're doing this from a hotel in Washington DC. Yep. Which I would describe as outside of the hotel room a fiery hell pit. Boiling hell pit of piss. Yep. Sounds pretty accurate. That's why we're not going outside. Yep. Because no likey temperature. Okay. April 14th 1865. Okay. Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by
Starting point is 00:03:00 John Wilkes Booth who was an actor. All right. Yep. Actors are bad. Okay is that you're an actor. That's the end of this. Well that was easy. I actually did know this one. Dr. Edward Curtis performed an autopsy about four hours after Lincoln died but it was pretty obvious what had killed him. The hat. The hat. A gram of skull fragments seven small pieces. Good Lord. And some bloody bandages as well as the doctor's bloody cuff. Okay. Which he apparently didn't roll up. We're saved. So he was like thinking of going back to the play. I don't know why. I don't know why you wouldn't roll up your cuff if you're getting into Lincoln. Yeah. Oh God. Getting into Lincoln. A new docuseries. Getting into
Starting point is 00:03:49 Lincoln. These pieces, these things, these items eventually made their way to the National Museum of Health and Medicine in Washington D.C. They are still on display today. Okay. If you want to go check out parts of Lincoln's skull. We can go see his skull. Yeah. Yeah. Seems a little barbaric. Yeah. Yeah. Honey. Okay. One of the selfies. People with selfie sticks. Can you see all of the fragments though? I think I'm just going to have to only show five so I can get my whole head in. So people were pretty upset by the president being killed. Sure. Sure. Most of them anyway. Right. Some were happy as shit. Okay. Public tributes and memorials were held in towns across the country. Sure. We're mourning. We're at this
Starting point is 00:04:37 point we're mourning. Absolutely. Yep. Congressional leaders wanted Lincoln buried in a ceremonial vault under the Capitol. Did you know we had that? No. So we've got a meat locker down there. We've got a crypt that was originally built to put George Washington in. Okay. But his family wouldn't allow it because George wanted to be buried at his home property. He was like, I don't want to be buried under the Capitol where all you jokers. Yeah. No. Just drain me of blood and bury me on my land. Thank you. Yeah. So the vaults under Congress remained empty until Lincoln's wife and son decided to take Lincoln back to Springfield, Illinois, where he grew up. So wait, was he in the tomb? No. No. No, no, no, no. I just
Starting point is 00:05:23 sound wrong. No, no, no. I don't think so. You know, so it's empty in there. Like, let's put a fucking Lincoln in there instead of Washington and then Lincoln sent a wife. We're passing. We're not going to. We're also passing. So they decided to bring him and bury him in Springfield, Illinois. Okay. Where he was born, right? He was born in Kentucky, but then moved to Illinois. That's where he's, that's where he became a man. That's where he'd Lincoln out, as we like to say. That's when he was like, fuck it, I'm losing the mustache and just going chin. Yeah, he went full Lincoln at that point. And then he went in the hat. The dude had a look. Oh, the fact that he wrestled, like the whole thing is
Starting point is 00:05:59 just magical. The dude had a look. He fucking wrestled. He wrestled? Yeah, yeah, he used to wrestle. He was like a wrestler. He would go travel around from town to town and leap in Lincoln. Come into the ring. Oh, the fans don't like what Lincoln's doing this time. Oh, look at him. The referee didn't see that one. Lincoln's got a pen. It would be so great if he, if he, even through his presidential years, just wanted to solve everything by wrestling. Well, I think the best thing for us to do is move the desk, take our shirts off and figure this out like men. I'm talking about slavery and how we believe she could continue. My shirts off. I'm not going to wrestle you for slavery. I'm not going to wrestle you for
Starting point is 00:06:41 slavery. Come on. Thank you, motherfucker. Let's go. I wonder what the people next door to us in this hotel room think is happening. It's not great. So Congress decided if they couldn't put Lincoln in the awesome vault downstairs, then everyone should get a look. Everyone should get to look at the vault. Or look at Lincoln. Everyone should get a look at Lincoln. Yeah. They wanted a funeral train to carry Lincoln's body back to Illinois with public ceremonies along the way in major cities. That's always so weird to me. Yeah. Why do you need to see the body? I don't know why you need to see the body. You don't need to, unless it, unless it will, like if it's a relative and you're like, I want closure
Starting point is 00:07:26 and whatever, like I totally get that. I get that. But a present, like a dude. Or there was, I was watching, you know, that documentary 13th and they like, they have an open casket for this kid who got beaten so badly. So it's sort of like shocks people into recognizing a problem. But they're... Spoilers. Huh? Spoilers. Sorry. Spoiler. Sorry. I should, I should, we can cut that out. But, but the, but the purpose of just seeing it to see it is just like, what? Yeah. Oh, look at him. Look at him. Really dead. Very dead. So luckily at the time of his death, Washington DC was the center of the new embalming movement. Oh my God. The new technique of embalming by injecting chemicals was just the gear shift
Starting point is 00:08:13 of these podcasts. You know, oh, it's about Lincoln. Oh no, it's about God embalming. It was first patented in 1856 by a Washington DC resident. Other people jumped on board with their own fluid embalming patents. Most of these happen in DC, I guess, home of storing a body. While embalming had been happening to get soldiers home to their families for burial during the war, it did not really hit the mainstream. Sure. Okay. So just kind of a Hollywood thing. Now... Gwyneth Paltrow embalms. On Goop? Yeah. She goops. She embalms the Goop. It's a, she's got a whole home, home embalming kit thing. A whole thing. With mint. Oh, well, we embalm the kids. Once they hit five, we embalm. So now the preservation
Starting point is 00:09:05 of Abe Lincoln led to tons of publicity. So embalming's taken off. Hot. Trending. People learned that his corpse would be embalmed, which would allow it to make the two week train trip back to Illinois with just a tiny bit of rotting. That's still a little much for me. Any rotting is too much for me. Well, there's a natural rotting process. Sure. Yeah, that's kind of why you don't take out bodies on tour. Well, it took five days to get everything arranged for the train trip. In the meantime, Lincoln's body lay in state in an open casket at the White House. This, okay. Yeah. How... To put in the train trip. How have these things occurred? Washington, to me, has become like Mr. Magoo after this podcast. Yeah. And now
Starting point is 00:09:53 we've got Lincoln's dead body in an open casket chilling in the White House. Kicking it chilling. People are cruising up, checking it out. Okay. 25,000 people came to the White House to see Lincoln's body. And it's just sitting in the... Oh, is it embalmed? Yeah, yeah, it's embalmed. He is embalmed, but it's just sitting in the open. It's not kicking it in the White House in a casket. It's not just laying on a floor or whatever. Well, it'd be nice to prop him up at the desk with a pen and a bill. What if they just stuck him in that cheese? Yeah. There was then a two hour, except for five days, there's a two hour long military parade. You can have the dinner with the dead president for $100. That the parade escorts the body
Starting point is 00:10:32 from the White House to the Capitol. Then the body was placed in there for public viewing the entire next day. Okay. So now we're six days in. Finally, on April 21st, seven days after he was shot, Lincoln's body was taken to the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad Depot. A special train of eight cars had been assembled. Lincoln's presidential car, which he used to travel to visit the troops, now contained his corpse. Sure. Put him where he knows. Yeah. Let him be comfortable. Yeah. And the corpse of his son, Willie, who had died three years earlier, had been dug up for this special trip to ride with his dead father to their new dead burial, burial place a few states away. So they dug up the boy. Okay. So to
Starting point is 00:11:21 be clear. Yep. Lincoln dead seven days on his on the train. Yeah. His son Willie killed three years prior dug up, potentially embalmed. What is the decomposition level of a body after three years? You're pretty much bone. I don't think they're showing off Willie. I think that Willie is in the box. I think they just dug it up and shoddy. Yeah. He's just right shoddy, but he's not open. That's just not open. That caskets. That's a closed caskets. Okay. Because you can't open that up. See, I really am just, I think I've already weekend of burning this story in my head and I'm picturing, you know, them waving. Well, this is going to end with Willie riding on top of the train. Right. Okay. Right. Nail
Starting point is 00:11:59 his feet. And then there's that moment when they realized the train is too close to the overpass. Oh, you got to have that. So, all right. So Willie and link on the train. First stop was a Baltimore. Okay. Thousands came out to see Lincoln's body. So I get, I don't know. I couldn't figure out how they do it physically, but I guess they, maybe they prop it up in the back of the train or people go through the train car or maybe they take it out. I bet they take it out. I bet they take it out too. I love the idea that they're propping it up in the back though. Right. But my guess is, um, the train went on to Harrisburg. I'm here to see Willie. No, Willie's the one I want to see. Show me Willie. Show
Starting point is 00:12:45 me the boy. God, look at him. Wow. How is he still so juicy? Sir, I'm a huge fan. Hello, young sir. This one on the train went on to Harrisburg, New York, Philadelphia, Albany, Buffalo, Cleveland, Columbus, Indianapolis, and Chicago, everywhere. Crowds. Led Zeppelin. Crowds came out. It's a fucking tour, man. I mean, that's a legit tour. I mean, I don't know who booked it, but they did. It's a nice tour. Can we get shirts made of the Lincoln death tour and all the cities they hit? Fuck yeah. How can you not? In places, the train didn't stop. People gathered on the sides of the tracks with their hats off and heads bowed. Sure. Farmers stopped working in their fields as the train went by. It's nice. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:13:31 that was very cool of them. Yeah, take a 30 second breather. The journey ended on May 3rd in Springfield, 21 days of a corpse tour. The core corpse tour. That's what we call it. Yeah. Abraham Lincoln Corpse Tour, Cleveland, Buffalo, Baltimore, Albany, New York, all the hits. Come check out that opening band, The Fragments. The leaders of Springfield wanted Lincoln to be buried featuring Willie his son on drums in the center of the city. So in Springfield, they've got big plans. I'm married. It's like, no, we're not. We're not doing that. He's tired from the tour. She just wanted him buried in a new cemetery in the town called Oak Ridge of the Edge of Town, just a normal situation. It's nice.
Starting point is 00:14:22 He was placed in a temporary vault on May the 5th until a more fitting mausoleum could be built. Okay. In December 1865, Lincoln was transferred to another specially constructed vault as the National Lincoln Memorial was being built. It took nine years to finish the monument. Okay. In 1871. Wait, how long has he, he's still not buried? No, he's in a vault now. So they took him to Springfield and they put him in a vault. Okay. So now your years are going by. Now we're six years in. He's in the temp vault. Okay. In the temp vault? Temp. Okay. Lincoln had to be moved to another temporary vault. And then at that point he was reidentified and put into a new coffin during the move. So they switched coffins.
Starting point is 00:15:06 They made sure it was still Lincoln. Sure. Because you never know. Yeah, no. Once you get into bodies. Where's Willie? We stopped talking about Willie. He doesn't come up anymore. I'm the Willie guy. Not a president. I like Willie. Not important. I want to hear my updates on Willie. Is that lightning? Can't be lightning. I think it's just big trucks moving dumb shit. After they finished the memorial, so they finished the Lincoln Memorial, they went to put the iron coffin into the sarcophagus. Okay. So it's closure time. Only to discover they had built the sarcophagus too small. The coffin didn't fit. That is awkward. That is really, I mean, the conversation you have with the contractor is heated. Yeah, it's
Starting point is 00:15:51 not great. Okay. I said four by fate. Well, it's going to take another two, three years at least to get that right. So they moved Lincoln's body into a smaller coffin. This one, red cedar lined with lead. This meant he had to be formally identified again. There must be some sort of rule that whenever you take a body out of a coffin, you got to identify it. You're the president. I mean, important bodies, not for schmoes like you. Yeah. No, nobody's nobody's nobody needs to identify like either way. On October 15, 1874, President Grant formally dedicated the National Lincoln Monument. The construction had taken place twice, had taken twice as long as the Civil War. Lincoln was finally laid to rest. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Or was he? Nope. Obviously. Big Jim Cannelly had a different idea. Well, anytime anyone named Big Jim's getting in the midst of trouble, it's not good. Big Jim was a counterfeiter among other things. A year after the monument was finished, his master engraver, Benjamin Boyd, was put in prison for 10 years. Okay. The Secret Service had confiscated all of Boyd's engraved plates. A different era. And Cannelly couldn't replace the work of Boyd. Okay. Because it's too good. Well, he was the best engraver. What was he, the master engraver? He's the master engraver. We got to look out here. I really think there's a thunderstorm out here. Oh, shit. Told you. What? Yeah. It's all going on. We might die
Starting point is 00:17:21 here. How did that happen? You know what? There's a weather thing that happens where clouds come through and they contain rain and electricity. Talk to me further, doctor. Okay. So Boyd's in jail. This is blowing my mind. And Cannelly, this Cannelly fella, he needs a guy as good. Sure. Or he needs Boyd. So he wants the spring Boyd. So he wants to get Boyd out of prison before all the counterfeit money runs out that he'd already had printed. Right. The notes made by Boyd's plates were so good that the U.S. Treasury had once been forced to withdraw all $5 bills from circulation to change their design to protect from Boyd's fake bills. Okay. Now, Cannelly had heard about a plan
Starting point is 00:18:08 to steal Lincoln's body in 1865 for political reasons. Someone just thinks that's a real socket to you? Yeah, they might have. I mean, I could see that being a thing. We're gonna make him a Democrat. Geez, Dave, can I sit on your lap? I'm scared. It is very loud thunder. So putting two and two together, Cannelly realized he could steal Lincoln's body and ransom it for the release of Boyd. That is really odd leverage. And he was also gonna ask for $200,000 in cash. So we, I'm sorry. Yeah, go ahead. To be clear, he is now going to take a dead body hostage. Yep, a president, not just anybody. He's gonna take Lincoln's body and hold an hostage. An important body. The money part is really amazing. Like, that's
Starting point is 00:19:03 where it gets even more. That's where it gets too absurd for me. Why don't you just ask for cash and then you have cash and then that's totally valid. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you can't you're getting greedy. Do you want your counterfeiter or do you just want the money? Take the money. So Cannelly sent five men to open a saloon in Springfield, Ohio as a front. Okay. The plan was to steal the body on July 3 1876 and hide it in the saloon's beer cellar. Oh my God. I mean, this is a good plan. This is like a Todd Phillips film. Well, now we are really a weekend at Bernie's. Yeah, I mean, we'll put him in the liquorice. But the leader bragged about the awesome plan to steal the ex president's body to a town
Starting point is 00:19:49 brothel owner. Well, you, you, I mean, you know, you would think that that guy would have tight lips who told the sheriff and the men ran out of town to avoid being arrested. The amount of things that get screwed up by just being unable to contain your enthusiasm about your caper. It's just unbelievable. It's just the about like, it's like 99% shut up. Yeah, shut up. Do it. Put your head down and do your work. You want to be you want to go down in the history books as and then they never discovered. Yeah, here's what you you don't want anything in the history books ever. Those are the heroes. So not one to give up can nearly try it again. He went to Chicago and brought in two of his men, Terrence Mullen
Starting point is 00:20:40 and Jack Hughes. The new plan was to steal Lincoln's body during election night on November 7th, 1876. I mean, this is insane. They figured everyone in Springfield will be so caught up in the election that they wouldn't be at the cemetery looking for thieves. The best night to steal link. I mean, it's the perfect weather for this too. And we're going to do it on election night. Thunder. Yeah. Plus, they figured with so many people coming back from the polls and in town in their wagons, that would give them cover with their stolen corpse wagon. So a figurative and literal cover. I mean, I assume that if you're in a wagon, not on a busy night that it's suspicious. You got the president in there. No. Well,
Starting point is 00:21:32 it's a little weird for you to be riding a wagon on a night that ain't that of the election. God damn it. Yes, we do. God damn it. Yeah, your mistake was not doing this on November the 7th. Yeah. What day is it? I don't know. You're the first guy I've talked to in two months. It gets so lonely. So the plan was once they got out of town, they were going to take it 200 miles away and bury it under dunes in northern Indiana, figuring the shifting sands would hide their tracks. You know what else it would hide? Where the fucking body was. For sure. For sure. Shifting dunes mean you can't actually. Okay. Dune, where's my Lincoln? Dune, where's my Lincoln? That's the movie. But apparently someone in on the
Starting point is 00:22:25 plan was talking again because it leaked. Okay. First, Robert Todd Lincoln was told he worked as a lawyer in Chicago. Sure. Then the Secret Service in Indianapolis learned of the plan. Wait, we still have to defend Lincoln? Wait a minute, didn't we already not do this good once? Well, let's go for it again. You know, we're getting a second chance, boys. We're going to save the president. Who's dead already? The Secret Service, though there wasn't a Secret Service back then. Okay, that would be just he just signed it that day or or the day before or something like you or he was about to. He just like the Secret Service. The guards actually watched the president. That whole idea was like right around the
Starting point is 00:23:08 time. Wow. Yeah. So the Secret Service in Chicago ordered a paid informer and penny criminal to infiltrate Caneely's gang and find out about the plot. Okay. The informer. I'm looking to join up with a group of baddies. Hey fellas, is anybody here looking to steal a body? I'll have a whiskey. Boy, I just wish I could find someone to get the president's body with me. Hey, what's this guy talking about? Yeah, it looks like that'll never happen. You know. Hey, fella. Who me? It's amazing you came into this bar. Hey, look, I don't want no trouble, pal. Ain't no trouble with stealing Lincoln's body. Well, I'll join up with you guys. Squirrel in. So he had no trouble getting in mostly because he had experience as a grave
Starting point is 00:24:01 robber when he supplied medical schools with bodies. Well, we've covered this. It's nice to see some of our old friends. The informer kept the Secret Service informed about the plot. Okay. The Secret Service wanted to catch the gang in the act because it would be hard to convict them on the basis of just the plot. Well, I think, yeah, it's hard to prove some things, but conspiracy to take a zombie Lincoln is certainly up there. The plan was to catch them in the act and charge them with burglary. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. When the train for Springfield with the informer, Mullen and Hughes left Chicago, they had no idea the back car was full of Secret Service agents, Pinkerton agents and other detectives. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:47 On election night, the law men hid inside the halls of the Lincoln Monument. Normal. In total darkness. And then the gang arrived three hours later. Okay. The informer was supposed to signal that was loud. That was close. And we'll do it on election night. It's good that we're talking about stealing a corpse and there's lightning. In DC, there's lightning. We're talking about getting Lincoln. Yeah. So the gang arrived three hours later. The informer was supposed to signal the agents when the gang broke in, but he couldn't get far enough away from them to do it. What's the signal? I don't know. I couldn't figure that out. Maybe yell. Hey, he's making bird noises again. That's what you do. You just
Starting point is 00:25:34 come in with your I should let you guys know my hobby is I love to make bird noises, especially at night. And when I'm in sarcophagus, if I see a bird, I replicate it's a tweet or whatever the fuck it's called. Wait for a signal. The birds out here are weird. Wait for a signal. Hold on. Hold on. We're not moving until we get a signal, gentlemen. Hold. Wait for a signal. Just wait for a signal, gentlemen. I think that was it. Let's go. So pull back, pull back. So he's trying to get away from them to make the signal. He had to wait until they had gotten into the crypt. Pride opened the sarcophagus. Oh my God, they got far and started dragging
Starting point is 00:26:34 the coffin out. And then that's when he could get away. Okay, told him he was running to get the wagon. Okay. He ran outside into the dark and then ran to the other side of the monument where the Secret Service agent, the main Secret Service agent was the leader. The lawman then charged to the door of the crypt. This is insane. One accidentally fired his gun. Oh my God. As they were charging. Okay. That guy's a fucking idiot. He is. This is quite an idiot. That guy's a fucking idiot. Yeah. When they got there, Mullen and Hughes were gone because they decided to wait outside for the informer to bring the wagon. So he leaves and says he's getting the wagon. Then they go, oh, fuck it. Let's go outside and
Starting point is 00:27:21 wait for him. Okay. And then the cops are charging one of them shoots off his gun and they go, let's go. Right. It's so dark that no one can see anything. So as soon as they heard the first shot, they took off into the darkness. So the lawmen start running around trying to kill Lincoln again. They try running around the cemetery trying to find these two guys and it's so dark. They're only seeing each other and they start shooting at each other. Okay. Okay. So how the plan's not going great. But luckily no one got killed. Right. Because they're terrible shots. Yeah. These guys are in charge. Super dark. Yeah. The second service in Pickerton's were then roasted in newspapers for the embarrassing stakeout.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Sure. Chicago papers even speculated it was faked for some unknown political reason because they couldn't fathom why else it happens. Nobody's this dumb. You know, you got to take that out too. That's right. It was a conspiracy. No, we're not that stupid. But Mullen and Hughes were arrested, charged and convicted on the informer's testimony. Okay. So they could have done it all along. Right. They got a year in jail each. Kaneli was not implicated at all. But he was put in prison four years later for counterfeiting. Okay. After that Lickens friends and family secretly removed his coffin from the crypt and hid it in various places in the monument. Because they were that afraid. Yeah. Now they're totally freaked
Starting point is 00:28:48 out that someone's going to steal his body. So now they're hiding it. Now the family and friends are now hiding. They're like Scooby doing Lincoln around this tomb. Yes. I mean, monument. They're doing it all over the money. They're like putting it putting it in different place. That's just so for 11 years, people would go to the monument and pay the respects to an empty vault. But not knowing that he was hidden in the rafters. He's in the attic. He's in his own pants in Lincoln Memorial. In 1887, the Lincoln monument needed repair and was to be remodeled. There were already many rumors that the corpse in the coffin was not Lincoln's because of everything that happened. So once again, the coffin was opened
Starting point is 00:29:39 so it could be identified. I mean, can we stop opening Lincoln's coffin? He was described as quote, somewhat shrunken. Oh, I mean, despite all the repairs. Well, that's what happens. We're all going to be somewhat shrunken someday. Despite all the repairs by 1900, the monument was again in disastrous shape. Well, open him up to be almost completely rebuilt. Abe Lincoln and his entire family were then removed and put into a temporary hole in the ground. The family had nine times. Why did they want a regular burial? Family had nine tons of stone placed on top so no one would steal him. Okay. After a year in April 1901, Lincoln was moved back into the monument. But because of concern, he was taken
Starting point is 00:30:36 out in September and identified again. Stop it. Stop opening him. This was the fifth time Lincoln's corpse was identified. It's him. We've got it. One worker cut a small hole in Lincoln's coffin. 22 local citizens checked out the body. One of them brought his 13 year old kid. Oh, that kid turned out fine, I'm sure. And it was Lincoln. They remarked that the remains looked quote like a bronze statue. Oh, that is so gross. That is so gross. But Lincoln's son was still worried. Mummified just sitting there looking like caramel with a beard. I'm assuming the beard stuck around. Also now I'm kind of hungry. But Lincoln's son was still worried someone would try to snatch the body. He arranged for the coffin
Starting point is 00:31:28 to be encased in steel bars, sunk 10 feet beneath the floor and covered with tons of cement. To date, Abraham Lincoln has remained there. But there were still seven tiny pieces of his skull. Thank God. In 1989, a college professor proposed extracting genetic material from the pieces to test them to see if Lincoln actually suffered from a disease called Marfan's Syndrome. A lot of people thought this was a fucked up thing to do. An ethics panel was convened. What's Marfan's? It's, I don't know, it's something to do with him being really tall. I'm not sure. I didn't look it up and I don't care. Marfan's. An ethics panel was convened. Sounds like tiny Martians. Yes, it's about some people came from Martians.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Okay. Well, we have closure. An ethics panel was convened at the National Museum of Health and Medicine and it was approved. But a year later, a different panel recommended a long delay until more could be learned about Marfan's Syndrome. But the media attention led to hundreds of people calling and writing, claiming they owned pieces of Lincoln. That they owned pieces of Lincoln. Yeah. So there's this. Isn't that a Sir McLaughlin song? So there's this whole thing because of, because of how many times people did, how many times it was open, how many times it was open, not necessarily the picking or they're just lying about them. They could have been picking, right? Or they just took advantage of it to say, yeah, this
Starting point is 00:33:08 is a piece of Lincoln, like, tell their kids, like, thinking, and then the kids still have it. Like, so there's all these people out there who think they have pieces of Lincoln. Is the title of this one going to be pieces of Lincoln? Yeah, it must be. I mean, pieces of Lincoln, pieces of Lincoln, yeah. It's all normal. Yeah, that's a normal way to die. I mean, it is the idea that his death is as bizarre as the end of it. I'm scared to look into, I'm scared to look into what happened to other presidents. Oh, yeah. I mean, honestly. What the fuck is wrong with us? There is, like, just, you know, who cares? It also doesn't matter. Who cares what happens with your body when it's done. Right, that's the whole thing
Starting point is 00:34:00 about this to me. It's like, who gives a shit? He's dead, you're dead. He's dead. It's not like he's going to be like, I have a story from the ground. No, that's it. And then we're not going to be like, we're going to bring him back someday. Like, it's over. It happened. It's over. It doesn't matter. He's bronzed himself. He's over. Yeah, I just, just burn. Just burn yourself. Well, let's do it. Do yourself a favor. Let's do it. Me and you. We'll take care of this business. We're going to get rid of Lincoln's body. No, no, no, no. We're going to, we're going to, we're going to turn it into dust. No, no, no. Set it free, baby. Well, I'm one condition. Yes. We do it on election night. Damn thunder
Starting point is 00:34:33 drop the ball. We signed pieces of Lincoln. I don't, I won't.

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