The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 299 - Errol Flynn (Live in Brisbane w/ Wil Anderson)

Episode Date: November 2, 2017

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Wil Anderson to discuss Aussie big Hollywood actor Errol Flynn. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. It's actually Gareth. It's Dave's gonna watch what just happened and we'll do

that for the show. It'll be like a wormhole. Hi everybody. Thank you for coming. This is Dave. He's lost his mind and he doesn't know who he is but we're gonna plow through. He hit his head pretty hard earlier on a bathroom sink so he doesn't know who he is. But you got this right David? Hi. There we go. See it's gonna be fine. This is not gonna be a problem. Is there a fire? What's happening? It's atmosphere. Smoke. Okay. That used to be a wall. Oh. It's a change. Behind you. It used to be a wall. Yep. They kept it. Sure. So it's still a wall. You're listening to the dollop. This is a bi-weekly American History podcast. Each week I, Dave

Anthony, once a week, read a story from American History to a guy that I met on a shitty podcast. Sure. Named Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Don't you think we need to add a little spice to the mix, Dave? Hey. What if we had a little something extra? Are you talking about a dash of Ando? I think I am. Will Anderson, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight's dash of Ando. A dash of Ando. I think it works. June 20th, 1909. Okay. That died fast. Was that rehearsed? Errol Leslie Thomas Flynn was born. Oh boy. I don't know much. You should know. You should know. Do you know? Yeah. Do you? Was Errol Flynn? Yeah. I know

Errol Flynn. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, but I'm sure surely there's reasons you're bringing him up. Was born in Hobart. That was the saddest. That was the one guy who was sad. There wasn't a Hobart show. To Theodore Flynn and Marielle Flynn, Errol's dad was a botanist and was often away for work and Errol spent a lot of time at the local cinema. Where's the botanist going for work? Oh, back then they'd fucking travel the world. They'd be like, you need a garden? Hey man, you want some green? I don't think you know. You want a little green? What do you want a bush? Maybe around the side. I'll give you a bush. Get you a little shrub action. Are you

confusing a botanist with a guy who owns a nursery? No, but he's around the area. So Errol spent a lot of time at the local cinema. He got in for free because the guy who owned it would spend time with his mom while his dad was out of town. I don't know why that's strange, doesn't every... Wow. I mean, I guess when you're a kid, free movies. I mean, of course too, that was the guy's idea. He's like, why don't you go check out a movie? Get the fuck out of here. It's exactly... Yeah. Go and see a double feature. Huh? I'm gonna show your mom a double feature. Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Go. But I've seen all the movies. Go. The

other would pick up Errol and his mother at home and then drop Errol off at the theater. Oh my god. Bang for your buck. I mean, it's just amazing. Errol's mother was not a great mother. She... Fuck off. She got in free movies. Yeah. I wouldn't let my mom fuck everyone in the neighborhood if I got free movies. At that age, it's so true. I'd be like, do whatever to her. I don't care. I love popcorn. Errol's mother thought he stole her youth and she was often violent. When Errol was seven, he and a girl were caught showing each other their genitals. His mom beat up Errol and then he ran away for three days. Oh my god. Local farmers returned him

after Errol approached them looking for work. With his genitals out? Hey, I'm just showing them. At seven. He's like, hey, you got anything around here I could do? I got kicked out of my house for showing a girl my dick. I'm seeking employment. Seven. Seven. I'm going to back up. You standing? No, I'm just going to back up because it felt weird. Okay. I just felt like I was in front of you guys. Now I want to be able to see you without turning my neck. I don't like to turn my neck. Well, it's always a sign of confidence when you retreat from the audience. They're lucky I don't have my back turned right now. So Errol only spent time with... There

you go. Bye. That's good. I like it. Wasn't Will here? No. Oh, I love this. Hey, what? Hey, there was never a Will here. I see Will people. I like it. I like it too. It's like Ghost Wills with us. Will's behind the screen for those listening. He walked offstage and behind the screen. It's fine. It's totally normal. It's how we do the show. Errol only spent time with his dad when he figured out ways to involve Errol in his work. Errol was disappointed his father never showed the kind of joy and excitement towards him as he would for something like the time the university got funding for a device that would slice porcupine ovaries in 200

thousandths of an inch. He just wanted that kind of love. Well, what's the advantage of a porcupine ovary? Of slicing the ovaries into two thousandths of an inch. Yeah. Well, then they're... Tiny. We can easier eat. That's not true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a botanist's doom. It's a local delicacy. Oh my God, Will. I didn't know... Oh my God. Is the wall talking? I'll do that. Yeah, no, it's Will. It's not the wall. It's the Will's. They served them on their own spikes. It's very... There were dinner parties back in those days. You'd have a porcupine with the ovaries served on top on the spikes. Very, very fashionable. Very now in Hobart of the time. I like this. We just have like a

fat guy back there. Yeah. I want to come back, but it's an awkward walk. Yeah, it is. It can make it. There's a funny bit to get here, but getting back is lonely. You got to stick up some. It's my own personal dollop walk of shame. But there he goes. So, Errol wanted to be a scientist like his dad, and he did experiments. Oh, there's Will. Once, Errol learned that ducks almost immediately digest fatty pork. Uh-oh. So, he tied a piece of pork to a 10-foot piece of string and went into his backyard that was full of ducks. Hang on. He invented duck fishing? No. He realized that ducks really ingest this... What was it? Fatty pork really fast. So, he's got string on the pork. Tied

string to the pork. And then we're about... He threw it to the ducks. And it wasn't long before he managed to human centipede a half-dozen ducks, asked to mouth on string. Oh, my God. Well, that is actually where the expression to get your ducks in a row comes from. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is the origin story of the popular Australian TV character Pluck and Duck, isn't it? It's a great show. Yeah. It's one of my favorites ever since I was... Yep. The age. 23 years. Yep, exactly. He then, after he had all the ducks stringed together, he charged local kids to come and see. And then his father came home and saw the duck appead, and he beat up Errol for the first and

only time. So, he's just getting his ass kicked. Now, that's one where I'm like, all right. Sometimes, maybe you can beat up a kid. Maybe... He's getting beat up for every choice he makes. Well, they're not good choices. Well, I mean, he's doing all the things regular kids do. Stringing ducks together via the ass, getting his jennies out there. Normal. Errol wasn't much of a... I mean, essentially, he's invented Instagram. He sent a dick pic and he's done duck face. The other two. Errol wasn't much of a student and he was a bit of a shithead. He once threw the family dog in a fire. Ah, fuck. Jesus Christ. I thought it was Bach. It said it was. Fuck you, fuck you.

What are you? Bach. To the fire. Oh, God. He'd been expelled from at least two schools. The Flynn family wasn't sure what to do with Errol. At 12, he lost his virginity to the family maid. Oh, wow. Jesus. And was expelled from his third and fourth school. But fucking, like, how old was he when he had sex with the maid? 12. 12. The reverse Schwarzenegger. Yeah. I love... He's Benjamin Button that, hasn't he? I mean, you gotta have some fucking game if you're fucking putting the moves on the maid at 12. Yeah. When the maid is like, is this kid hitting on me? What the hell's going on here? You want to see my dust buster? Want to see a duck show?

So did he get expelled from school because he was sleeping with the maid? No, all kinds of different stuff. He just, he beats people up and... I wonder where he gets it from. I don't know. So his father's head to Britain to deliver duck-billed platypuses to the London Zoo. Oh, watch the string. So he took the family and then immediately dropped off Errol at a boarding school in London. Errol then rarely saw his parents throughout his teenage years. His dad went back to Australia and his mom took an extended vacation in Europe. So when he was expelled... But he didn't know that he was going to boarding school. That's what you're saying, right? No, he didn't know. No. So they reversed home,

aligned him. Right. Yeah. 100% except without all the hilarious... I just thought of the movie that it was. Home Alone 2, if you want to see gratuitous violence that's horrifying, I highly recommend that. Have you ever seen the video where they put blood around the actual, what it would be like if someone actually got injured in Home Alone 2? Because they would have died a number of times. No, there was a doctor who went through and like every hit in Home Alone, he was like, again, shattercranium. He was like, optical nerve, completely ruined, blindness for sure. And I don't think his heart would still be pumping like I said from the previous injury. I don't think he'd have a heart. I want to see a gritty reboot of Home Alone. Right away. That would be so good.

Well, like it's just the story of a kid who gets left home alone and kills two strangers. And it's over like 15 minutes. Just like, oh, shit, I killed him. No, he like fucking tortures him for an hour and a half. Yeah, no, yeah. Burning them. Again, fourth degree burns, definitely fourth degree burns. Again, shattercranium. So he then got expelled from the boarding school and his father got him into another private boarding school, which he was then quickly kicked out of. And then his father brought him back to Australia and put him in an elite private boarding school in Sydney.

I didn't know they had those in Sydney. Errol was tall and athletic and super good looking. Kind of like me. Ring a bell. You're easy on the eyes. What can I say? You like movies? Wait a minute. You guys are going to do it. Fuck. Yeah. I want to go watch a story about a kid murdering two elder men. Errol often beat up other students and excelled in the school boxing program. He went on to fight. Well, yeah. I mean, he's studying. Yeah.

He went on to fight in the state amateur championships and was known for smugly smiling at his opponents in the ring while dancing around. And after a while he looked at his feet and his opponent would follow his gaze and then Errol would punch them. I mean, that's like a video game. It's like, oh, this is the guy who looks at his feet and then you hit him. Yeah. What's going on down there at your feet? Oh, shit. Good one, Errol. It's good. He was expelled again. Former classmates said it was either for stealing money or because he

was caught fucking the daughter of the school's laundress. I'm going to go with option bait. Yeah. If it's Errol Flynn, he likes a tidier. Yeah. Yeah. Got a thing for a cleaner. Yeah. It says something. It's his type. Yeah. So what are you doing there, mopping? Yes. Why? So he was 17 now. He's 17 years old and his parents are in Europe. So he decided to just, he was just done with school. Yeah. I think school decided it was done with Errol, right? Yeah. He was looking for a job when he was seven. Yeah. Yeah. He put the vibe out there early. He

was like, I'm not for school. No. Right. And when he was seven, he just showed people his dick and then like went and looked for a job. It's literally what he did. Well, I got to go get a job now. I shut my dick. I know how it works. I'm seven. He stayed with relatives around Sydney. He was a smooth operator, good-looking, charming, and witty. He became friends with a wealthy socialite, Kenneth Hunter Kerr. They were both into tennis and courting pretty rich young women. Okay. Kenneth got Errol a job for an importing company. He quickly got fired for stealing the petty cash. Right. Blowing in a racetrack also. Okay. Now in 1927, Razor Street gangs in Sydney were very active and a friend

convinced Errol to join one of the Razor gangs because he said it would make them rich. That guy's not very smart. Okay. But in their first week as gang members, his friend was accused of being a rat. And by the end of the week, he was dead and a gutter. Jesus Christ. So Errol left the gang. Okay. Yeah, he's like, that's a bad job. After he fucked the woman who cleaned up the crime sentence. Yeah. It's like, what are you doing there? Cleaning up blood? Yeah. That's hot. That's hot. That's hot. Yeah, but I can make you come. Excuse me, how old are you? Four. Okay. I mean, sure. Yeah, it is the time. So I'm dating a four year old. He's awesome. He's huge. We have a lot in common. So gold was found in New Guinea, which you knew about. Yes, I remember when that happened. So gold rush,

Errol pulled together enough money to board a ship. And on the journey, he charmed the wife of a government official. And she got him an interview for a cadet patrol officer job. So the requirement to were to have completed high school and know about sanitation. Well, he knows about sanitation. He's fucked his way into the career. We kind of fucking them up. As far as sanitation goes, I've I've got a whole operation where ducks don't shit. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Things are good. So he so he gets the job. And he sent to a remote village working as a cadet, cadet patrol officer. He dressed like a classic little Commonwealth imperialist. He has a white suit, a white helmet, and he carried the little cane around. Sure. And he teach tribes about sanitation.

He couldn't believe the natives dressed in G strings made of vine lived amongst roaming pigs, used holes for toilets and left dead dogs out to rot this guy. But think about his life. He's throwing dogs in fire. Yeah, but not. I mean, that's taking care of them. As opposed to just leaving around a rot, you know, at least he's cutting out the middleman sort of. Sure. Right. You mean the Reaper? But since he was bored, he started spending his day swimming in a watering hole and hitting on the wife of a high ranking Australian government employee. What did she clean? Her name was Mora. And one day he saw more swimming. So he stripped down to his trunks,

and he dove in the swimming hole she was in. And then when he surfaced, he was face to face with his boss, who was also in the water, okay, and was now furious because arrow was supposed to be working. So as arrow got out of the swimming hole, he told Mora that he'd be getting fired the next day. And probably would never see her again. And she said, my husband's gonna be out that night, you should come over. Wow. All right. So there's a pattern. He's got the goods, huh? Yeah. Yeah, all right. But Mora's husband came home early and found them fucking in bed. Oh, boy, he's back in the watering hole. He might lose his job. You're rehired. And they got into a fistfight, and the husband ended up in the hospital. Yeah, because arrow like was a good fistfighter. Yeah,

he's a boxer boxer, but and also when he's spare time. Yeah, yeah. No, the guy walked in in like the worst scenario because the two things he knows how to do are box and fuck. Yeah. And so he walked in. He's like, oh, that's it. Let's do it. He's like, these are the things I'm good at. So he's fucking his wife while he's punching him. Yeah. I mean, if he was like pulling like a duck string at the time, it would just be like all the strings. So the next day, arrow had a meeting with his boss, right about jumping in the swimming hole. What? They still had the meeting? This isn't the same. Oh, this is a different guy. This is a different book. Yeah, the good the the the husband is a different guy. Okay, so he goes into meet is the boss who he had seen in the swimming hole

and the bot and he's all bloodied and he's got a bruised face and his bosses. He tells the boss a story and the boss is like that's fucking awesome. I hate that guy. You can keep your job. Does he have a genie lamp maybe? Okay, I mean, so he's only making terrible choices being rewarded constantly. Oh, you're gonna love this story. Oh, boy. Does he become president of America? Kind of. You never believe it. The devil came to me one day and all I had to sacrifice was one dog and six ducks. That's it. And now I have a genie dick and genie dick. I rub it and I get wishes. That's what happens. Well, then we all kind of have one. I'm gonna go rub the lamp for a minute, get a wish. So after a while, someone checked on his record, probably the guy he

fucking beat up and found out he had not graduated from high school and then he was fired. Okay. Right. Now, at the same time, he fucked the wife of a guy he hated and got his job again. He also contracted malaria around this time, and he'd have recurring bouts for the rest of his life. He next conned himself into a job managing a cobra plantation. A what? Cobra. A cobra plantation cobra plantation. It's a meat of a coconut and it's used to extract coconut oil. So he's in charge now he no experience. He cons himself into running this plantation. He's in charge of 120 indentured labors, and he has no idea what he's doing. So he went and talked to an upper class naval commander to ask what he should do who was a friend of his. How do you be

in charge? And he said, quote, easy old boy, nothing to it. You just get to hold of the boss boy. Every plantation has one call for him and just say boss boy, carry on. That's all there is to it. He'll run it from there. Okay. Sure. Sure. Sure. So he shows up to the plantation and most of the native employees are naked. And the boss boy told he told the boss boy what to do. And and the boss boy said, well, these are guys from two different tribes and they hate each other. But he puts them in charge. And then besides the men showing up to work just bloodied every day because they would live in the same camp and they were from different tribes, they would just beat each other up at night. It went great. Other than that, it was yeah, a success. So the plantations

running smoothly. And then Errol would spend his day swimming and exploring and riding around on a horse. He's contributed nothing. Yeah. At night he drank and went to brothels. He wrote to his father after he'd been arrested for assault, quote, I hit a Chinaman who hasn't started that letter who amongst us. I hit a Chinaman who had poor manners and the presumption to call me by my surname without any Mr or master before it. He expects a master or Mr. Yeah, I mean, you know, he really likes himself. Sure. I complained to him that the Chinaman around here were becoming increasingly insolent and getting away with it all because the League of Nations recognized them as equals with the white man. When the Germans own this region, a Chinaman had to take his hat

off before tying to a white man. Otherwise it was knocked off. So he punched the guy. I mean, there are some parts of this state where those opinions are still pretty relevant. So that was a that was a half laugh. So Errol's a good guy so far. Yeah. For the assault he was given the option of a 30 pound find or two weeks in prison. Okay. Okay. What are you telling? He took prison. He took prison. Yeah. Wow. But that's because whites weren't allowed to serve in the same prison as locals. So he got house arrest instead. How do you monitor house arrest back then? Oh, I don't leave. See you later. Well, he didn't. He just got drunk and then when we come over and you fuck

him like that was his house arrest. House arrest for him is like Saturday night. Every night Saturday night. And then he got gonorrhea while he was on house arrest. Jesus Christ. Errol Flynn was today quoted in house arrest as saying winning. My life is winning. He's tweeting before Twitter. He keeps saying hashtag. It's going to get dark. One day a member of a nearby tribe ran into a plantation saying another tribe had just massacred his people. This happens. This happens when I work all the time. Errol went to the site and found a terrified young girl and nothing but a grass skirt hiding and trembling. Here is the description of finding a girl amidst a slaughter of human beings quote. She was absolutely exhausted, petrified. She looked up at me as if

she anticipated death. She was little and probably young, but they had no conception of age there. We managed to confate her that there was nothing to be afraid of and her face lit up and I realized I was staring at a honey color girl of exceeding femininity. Oh my God. How much you guys ever fallen in love with someone in the middle of a massacre? How are you even in that mode? Have you heard of a sociopath? Yes. Still. She had a perfect little figure and the most. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Glorious pair of breasts you ever saw. Honestly, when it started off, it was you were like, oh, he does have empathy. Yeah. She's petrified. Yeah. She thinks she's going to die. Yeah. She's really cute. And are you thirsty? Do you like rum? You want a drink? Let's get some

pina coladas. You'll be fine. Let's have a drink. What do you like to eat? We have so much in common. Listen to us. We're old souls. Don't cry. Don't cry. No. She had the most glorious pair of breasts you ever saw, the classic ski jump type. Again, is that a common expression of the time? Yeah. How is he talking like he's in the 80s and a ski movie? Dude, she had six slopes, dude. Kind of want to ski right off of dude. These aren't bunny hills. These are black caverns, bro. Fucking real shit. Arrow. Yeah. Come over tonight, man. Let's have some bongs. Arrow. Hey, man, I would, but I saved a girl earlier with sick mounds. Boom. Man. Hashtag winning, bro. Arrow, you're the man. You're Flintstone, man.

I took another sharp look at her breasts and made the decision. She comes with us. I keep interrupting in the hope this letter will finish. So when she would not come with, they would not try to save her. No, he took her home and she lived as a servant and then became his lover. Well, once she started cleaning, you know, whatever I see her made. He also started dynamiting fish as a second job. That's a good way to pick up extra income, though. That is dynamiting fish, really. It's good. This makes sense. Fish don't like it. They were a little freaked out by that twisted technology. That was shit. He's just lighting dynamite, looking at the fish. Hey, I met a great girl with ski-like breasts. Totally normal. Totally normal.

There was just some day when some guy was like, why don't we just throw dynamite at him? I'm like, that seems crazy, right? I mean, it seems crazy. They're going to fly out of there. It's fishing rods. Arrow went in on a ship and used it to charter passengers around New Guinea. Like the plantation, he had a native crew run the ship, but so now he's running the charter ship and the plantation, but he's not really in charge of either. He's just having guys do it. Right. This is actually what the four-hour work week is. Right. But then the plantation owners noticed he was gone all the time and they fired him. So now it's 1929 and he's looking for cash, so Arrow decided to get into the

illegal slave trade. Let's keep peeling the onion, David. But it didn't go well. In his first raid, he shot a native and was charged with murder. Thankfully, he was white, so he was acquitted. Arrow, what? I didn't do anything. There was a loud sigh. Well, you know, the last couple of nights have been hard, Dave. There's a lot about the history of our country that like is hard and difficult to reconcile with in a comedy way on stage. But tonight, when you said Arrow Flynn, I thought, oh, this will be fun. Yeah. Now he's a good guy. No, that's coming across. Yep. Arrow then decided to return to city in 1931 where he fell back in with an old cry buddy and he got engaged to a wealthy woman named Naomi Dibbs. He bought a yacht

and sailed it back to New Guinea and he convinced Naomi that New Guinea tobacco would make him rich and that he'd be back and then he sold the yacht and bought a tobacco plantation. That's not what he said, though. Well, he said tobacco would make him rich and they bought a yacht with their money and then right they sold and bought tobacco. So in a way, yep, sort of. Yep. He's a loopholer. One day, his boss boy took Arrow to meet his family when Arrow saw his young daughter for the first time he said to him. No, Dave, Dave, Will's going back to the screen. Don't do this. Will, stay here. It's fine. It's fine. Well, it's fine. Every time you see he

saw a girl, it's like, oh God, no, please, just this is what happens when you're tossing your genitals around and getting beaten up for it at seven. He said to himself, quote, I knew I had to buy her. Who hasn't said that? You go over to a friend's house and they're like, this is my daughter Julia. Can I, may I purchase your daughter? What is the offer you have on the table already? And maybe I'll, I'll counter. He, the father sold her for two pigs, a roll of English shillings, and some seashells. You don't tell, you don't tell the person you sold them for that, right? You're like, it's a million dollars. Some string and two pigs. Have fun. They'd only lasted a year, though. And then, and then he dumped her and she went back to

Sydney and he went back to Sydney and his fiance. So it was a brief love affair. He went back. He's still engaged. Yeah. Yeah. Who's sticking with him? He's a fucking great lover. Okay. In Sydney, Errol was somehow offered, I just assumed because he was super good looking, offered the lead role in one of Australia's first films with sound called in the wake of the bounty. Was this just his mother sending him to go make a movie while she had sex with other people? Yeah. Go make one. Reviews were mediocre and his performance was considered shit. So he fucked the wives of all the reviewers. But Errol fell in love with acting. He started having an affair with a wealthy older woman named

Maj. Maj is that you, you get, you, you're named Maj at 70, right? You don't like, you know, you turn into a match. You start out as like a Bridget and then all of a sudden you're like, wait, a match? One day Madonna will be Maj. Yeah. Yeah. And release an album. So he then stole Maj's jewels and left town. He would never return to Australia again. First he stopped in a town in Queensland and talked himself into a job as a farm sheep dagger. As a, as a farm sheep dagger? Well, they know what a dag is. So you don't, but this is different than that. Like, I thought you'd dagger. Like, I thought you meant like a fucking dagger. That is, oh, it is that. Oh, good. I think some people are thinking dag, right? Is that what you're

thinking? Yeah. No, but he was just stabbing them. Dag's like the shit that hangs off a sheep's butt. Yeah. What? He just wakes up at me. It's also, it's also slang for like idiots. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's old school Australian slang. It's the sort of thing that Maj might say. Oh. Maj would be like, oh, Harold, you're such a dag. Okay. And he'd say, I'm not shit on a sheep's bottom. Shit on a sheep's bottom is dag. Okay, I'm wanting a lot. So he got this job, but he didn't know what it was. He just applied for the job. Yeah. He just, yeah, he thought he just had to clean shit off asses. Right. It turns out they castrate sheep and it involved cutting the scrotum with a knife and then finishing the job with your teeth.

What? Dave. David. But how Australian is that? Like just, you could just keep doing it with the knife, but then they're like, no, you can finish it with your teeth. No. It's Australia, mate. You bought it. Take out with your teeth. That was the original draft of that scene in Crocodile Dundee. That's not a knife and then he ripped his balls off with his teeth. That was the original draft. They actually filled it. Actually, you can see it. It's online. It's not shot in late. They haven't mixed the sound, but it's still a pretty good scene. Paul Hogan's got like these guys' balls in his mouth. He's going down under on it.

I mean, it's much more terrifying that a slightly larger knife. That's not a knife. Oh my God, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls, my balls. Where's the knife? Does he even have a knife? What is he doing? Oh my God. This is a knife. That's not a knife. Those are my genitals. Monster. I get the name now, though. I understand the crocodile part of the name a little bit more. His jaw strike is strong. The farm had 50,000 sheep. That's going to be a lot of nut biting, Dave. I'm not a mathematician, but that's a lot of balls. It's like four weeks, right? Four weeks.

So I do my math correctly. But he was saved when he was caught fucking the owner's daughter and had to run off. That's kind. He's a real dag. Yeah. He went back to New Guinea, sold the plantation, and left to pursue acting in England. On the ship, he made a friend for life, Austrian Dr. Herman Urban. Herman Urban? Yeah. Dr. Herman Urban. Yeah. Okay, sure. Nothing to... How do you not pal up with that guy?

No. They went to the Philippines together where they gambled, went to brothels, and got into cockfighting. Well... Which was a different thing back then. Yeah. Yeah. Errol got... Errol started cockfighting at seven when he showed his penis and got beaten up. Yeah. He combined his two favorite things. Cock and fighting. It was weird. He said we were going to a cock fight. He showed me his penis and broke my jaw. I don't... How did he... So Herman came up with the idea of lacing the rooster's beak with snake poison. Say again? Lacing the rooster's beak with snake poison. Oh. So it took a few minutes to kick in so everyone just think that the other rooster died from injuries. So they kept winning

and the scam worked. They're making a ton of money. But then an opposing cock died immediately after being packed and they were quickly run out of town. How did they know he didn't take a dive? There's a lot of that in boxing and cock fighting. So they went to Macau where they... Macau? Where there were casinos. Errol fell for a Chinese con woman who introduced him to opium and then stole all his money. Finally. Yeah. Finally. Thank God. Yes. Yes. All right. Finally. Someone to root for. The opium game. The rest of the story better be about her. Now we follow her. So this left Herman and Errol completely broke. So they headed for Hong Kong to sell the jewels that Errol had stolen. But on the ship a pickpocket stole them. This is good. This is good. Nice.

Liking this run. Yeah. Then they went to Vietnam where Errol got VD or as he called it, quote, the pearl of great price. But a lot of, lot of things to talk about. So as of right now, he has malaria, gonorrhea and he's got a new. A new strain of something. A new strain of something. Yep. And he called it what? The pearl of great price. The pearl of great price. I mean, I will say this. He has a, he has a way with words, you know, whether he's describing a girl's breast in the midst of a battle or his VD. He just has a poetic way of putting it. Yeah. That really is quite, that's a good spin. Yeah. Oh, I do it again. It's a great pearl. I love it. No, I can't. My penis. In late 1933, Errol parted ways with Herman and he went to England.

He got work with the Northampton Repertory Company as a stage actor. But he got booted out after he threw a female stage manager down a flight of stairs. Jesus Christ. He then got his big break. It's quite a, the lead role in a movie murder at Monte Carlo. It did not take long, but the producer, uh, it did not make a splash. But the producer wrote to Warner Brothers saying he had found a superstar. The executives agree when they saw him on film and brought him to Hollywood. Because this is where this guy needs to be. Yep. Absolutely. Hollywood. Perfect. On the ship, Errol met French actress Lily Demita and the next year they were married. I'm sure this will last. I'm skeptical of this man.

His first couple of jobs were minor roles in forgettable films. Warner Brothers just decided to promote Errol as Irish instead of Australian. Sure. And for the rest of his career, Errol would refer to his home country of Ireland. Sure. Sure. That's easy. Yes. Fucking Irish prick. Never trusted this motherfucker. I knew it. I knew he wasn't an Aussie. Fucking yeah. Fucking yeah. Oh, Flynn, you bastard. Your potato eating VD riddled motherfucker. Fuck off. Does he, does he need to sound like he's from Ireland? No, I think he had a name from Bloody Ireland. You think this guy put on a fucking accent? No way. He just talked with an Australian accent and everyone's like, Oh, he's Irish. Because fucking Americans. That's why. Yeah.

You know, my friends from Ireland, you might know him because you're from there for sure. There he is right there. He's for sure from Ireland. You guys are going to get along. They're both lying about where they're from. They're both Australian. All right. Stick with the yellow governor. In 1935, Jack Warner personally selected Errol for the title role in Captain Blood of Pirate Movie, and it made millions. Errol was an overnight movie star. The money in fame came with booze, drugs, women, and of course, a yacht. Sure. His wife's French accent was too thick for American audiences, and she couldn't find work. She grew jealous. Why didn't she just

say she was Irish? Some didn't be an easy out. She grew jealous of his fame and the women he was screwing, obviously. They started fighting physically, like she would hit him with a chair and shit, and then he'd punch her. Good stuff. They separated in 1937, and Errol moved in with David Niven. Now, David Niven and Errol had some similarities. When David Niven was 14, he fell in love with this 17-year-old sex worker he'd picked up at a Piccadilly Circus, which is a place not an actual circus. Yeah, for sure. Just for the record. They really should have a ringmaster at Piccadilly Circus, some asshole. So he moves in with David Niven, and they regularly start having orgies. He's part of the statement, Dave,

but he's riddled with disease. When was Penicillin... No, I wasn't saying how diseased is he. When was Penicillin invented? World War II. So he's holding onto this shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, they're pearls, right? Yeah. I've got my pearl, my ruby, my emerald. My family jewels. So they had orgies until one orgy, Errol made a pass at David, which hurt their relationship. Technically, he was just trying to body his bullsackles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Later, Ronald Reagan claimed Errol tried to kiss him several times. Well, I mean, what a great assassination attempt.

Well, Errol, we shouldn't. We shouldn't, Errol. I know both of our loins are burning. Well, I don't know, Errol. I think Nancy'd be pretty rubbed by the whole thing. I like you as a pal, but I... Well, I don't know, Errol. I really... I'm vetoing. What? I don't know if people know this, but at the time, Nancy Reagan, I think, was Nancy Davis, and she was known as the blowjob queen of Hollywood. Did you guys know that? Yeah. A lot of men later said they had... I mean, it's good that you're the queen. Heavy as the head. Right. A lot of men later said they had sex with Errol, and that his orgies were often bisexual.

Like anything else, acting started to bore Errol. He played the same roles, and there was a lot of sitting around for months on end. So in 1937, the Spanish war was on, and Errol and his old friend, Herman, decided to go... Herman, Dr. Herman Urban? Yep. Glad he's back. I missed that guy. They were such a good team. So they decided to go so Errol could pursue his new dream of being a writer like Ernest Hemingway. Sure. Well, we've read some great passages so far. Errol sided with the left-wing government fighting the fascists, a Hollywood superstar setting off to report on a civil war made headlines around the world. While in Spain, he wrote articles, and Herman took photographs. What Errol didn't know was that Herman was actually known by the FBI

as a Nazi operative. Oh, boy. Remember when I was happy to hear Herman was back? I was happy to hear Herman was back. We believe Herman is working with the German. So... All the time I've been sitting here thinking of a third Herman Urban, like, something will pop up. Sinti's name was first mentioned. Like, literally in that first bit. Like, there's got to be a third. Like, there's got to be a third. If he moves, he could be suburban. He could be Herman Urban from suburban. I was thinking maybe Herman Urban likes drinking bourbon. We're in like... That's good. That's good. But really, the story, anyway, Dave, you do a good job with this podcast. Well, no. Thanks for staying focused on the story, guys.

It was a back burner. It was in front. Oh, hello, Errol Flynn right there. The beer cascaded out of the bottle, like, sumptuous ski slopes. So, he's reporting on the Civil War. Herman's signing back the photographs, right? Herman's taking photographs and signing it back to Germany, to the Gestapo. So this resulted in German leftist volunteer fighters who had been coming from Germany being persecuted when they came back home and their families. Errol's totally oblivious. After Errol spread rumors, he had been killed or shot in the face. Wait, say that again? So he's a big star and he's in Spain and now he's just with this

leftist fighter group and he wants the tension. So he made a rumor that he got shot in the face. Okay. Okay. Fun one to spread. It wasn't true. But they wanted to see what would happen if they... And of course, people are like, oh my God, he got shot in the face. So then Jack Warner ordered him to come home. He's like, enough of your fucking war shit. Enough. Come back home and act. That's what's important. So Errol went back to making movies and he and Lily divorced in 1940 while she was pregnant with her first son. Errol signed the worst divorce agreement in the history of the world. Okay. He had to pay a fixed sum annually based on a percentage of his salary. Okay. Okay. That sum would go up if his salary increased. Okay. But it would never go down.

Oh, after it went... Oh, it's like the bus on speed. So you hit 50. And he agreed to pay taxes on the sum. So he's not just giving her the money. He's paying taxes on it. Is he just... He takes the first option he hears? Yeah. Oh, that sounds good. Oh, yeah. Fuck me. Okay. Great. Sign right here, you idiot. Errol. Sorry. Errol. Sign here, Errol. We all respect you. My God. What an idiot. But the tax payments he gave her were counted by the IRS as additional income. So they taxed her at a higher amount. So she sued for the difference to be paid, which he had to pay. Oh, shit. Which put her into a higher tax bracket. Oh, shit. And she was taxed higher. And she sued Errol to pay again. For the rest of his life, Louis would take him to court

to win the upkeep over our money payments because of tax increases. Oh my God. Amazing. What a legend. When you said the worst, I was like, it can't be that bad. What do you do? 30%? My God. What? Errol still had enough money, though. He moved into a mansion on Mulholland Drive and had it fitted with peepholes and two-way mirrors. Had it fitted with peepholes and peepholes and two-way mirrors. Yeah. Okay. Cool. So that's a normal... Yeah, yeah. Right. That happens a lot. Yeah. No, I haven't heard that. I have not heard that before. You don't know how to watch your buddies fuck? Sorry. It's for fucking watching. You watch your buddies fuck? I don't have my buddies... No, I guess is the answer. No, I don't. I have not. Maybe you didn't hear me correctly.

No, I heard you very perfectly. Slow it down. You like to watch your buddies fuck? How do you get back there? Is it just this way and a left? And then you just go to... So, hang on. Was he just inviting his friends around? Okay, go on. He kept fucking filming movies and getting into fistfights on nights out in Hollywood. Then America entered World War II in 1941. Many actors were enlisting. Even Jack Warner was a Lieutenant Colonel. Two years earlier, Errol had been ordered to sell his yacht because foreigners weren't allowed to own sea vessels over 15 tons. Even the Irish? To keep it, he became an American citizen. Okay. So that's what got him, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. Fucking Yankee bastard. You always have said you didn't like the Americans. I was like, you know who I don't like? Irish should become Americans. They're the worst. Motherfuckers. So he tried to enlist, but no branch of the military would take him because he had tuberculosis for an ear disease, recurring malaria, and a large heart and chronic back pain from stunts. When did he get TB? We just breezed by that. He's just picked that up at an orgy or something, right? I haven't had something in a while. I'll cough in my mouth. Come on, give me a little. I need a problem. The government also had a file on him from Spain and thought if he was not a Nazi, then he was at least a Nazi sympathizer. But he had no idea. No. Right.

Now, because he was a big manly star, Warner Brothers refused to explain the reason he wasn't serving because it was because it was because of health problems. He's too good looking. They thought it was hurt as image. So for the entire war, the media and public ridiculed and abused Errol for being a draft dodger. Right. In 1942, he started having heart attacks, but kept making movies. Yeah, one guy's like, that's fucking dedication. Yeah. Also, I love the sentence started having heart attacks. Yeah. I normally go, you had a heart attack, but no, no, no, he started the process of regularly having heart attacks and then just go, fuck it. Let's act. He signed in the divorce deal. He was like, I'll get some heart attacks.

Sure, whatever you guys need. I'm down. I'll start some increasing heart attacks. I'll pay for all the people. Sure. Yeah. And I'll pay for the taxes that go against that, obviously, because that's the genuine income. Okay, sure. You can take my heart. Do you just want my heart? Does that my heart? Does that my heart? And then he was charged with two counts of having sex with underage girls. How is he, how, how does this, how is he still fucking? He should be dropping off. Oh, well, he should be like a Mr. Potato Head right now. I feel like he has sex issues. I think he might have sex issues. I think Dave's right. So the two incidents happen a year apart. One, a girl was 15 and she was a model and the other was a 17 year old actress.

Errol was represented by a big celebrity attorney who picked a jury that was nine 12, nine out of 12 women, right? Okay. So he's like, right, I get it. What, you get it? Yeah, I get it. At first I was like, what a dumb move. Wait a minute, that prick. Yeah. Yeah. And then he went after the victim's character. One had an abortion and the other been arrested for giving her boyfriend a blowjob. I mean the criminality. Unbelievable. Imagine. Both of those things were illegal. But my guess in this time is it was legal to receive a blowjob. Right? Always. Yeah, you could legally receive one. You just couldn't give one. Officer, look what she's doing to me. She's a criminal. Help, help, help me, sir. Help me. Oh God,

she's a criminal. Oh my God. She went down there with a knife. I think she's biting my nuts off. I don't know what to do. Get off of me, beast. Oh, what have you done? Finish when he's turning away. Oh my God. No, no. Oh my God. Hey, this one's really a criminal. Holy shit. Well, obviously, lock this one up. You know what I'm talking about? Obviously, you're free to go. You're just being a man and you're coming with us. You are unbelievable. Unbelievable what you did. Oh my God, you mouth whore. Sinner. Absolutely. Sir, you're fine. Sir, walk away. You've been a good man and I'm sorry that woman did that to you. Yeah. In court, his lawyer pointed out that the 15-year-old was particularly unattractive and Errol was super good looking. What is it? What? It was a good time.

What? That was part of the case. She's ugly. But how, I mean, I would, I mean, whatever. He literally stood, he literally stood in court and went, this hot guy wouldn't fuck her and the court jury was like, wow. I would like to offer the argument of UGLY, she ain't got no alibi. What? She ugly. He's good. He's very good. He's like Atticus Finch. Movie fans showed up every day to support Errol and protest against the victims. You didn't do anything wrong, Errol. You're the man. Some organized themselves into pro-Errol Flynn groups like the American Boys Club for the defense of Errol Flynn. That's a deep cut. During the trial, Errol started sleeping with

19-year-old Nora Eddington who he met while she was selling cigarettes at the courthouse. Skye, what? He was acquitted. The two girls would continue to be hast for years by Errol Flynn fans. The 19-year-old, sorry, 17-year-old said, quote, I knew those women would acquit him. They just sat and looked adorling at him, adoringly at him as if he was their son or something. No, not their son. No, no, no. Errol's career went on like nothing happened, if you can imagine that. No, that's shocking. The entertainment industry is right at the ship. Yeah, it's different, finally. We clean that up. But I think stories like this that we've clearly learned from that I think is important that we have now learned that stuff. From the trial,

from the trial, the term, in like Flynn, became popular. Oh, wow. Meaning it was a girl's a sure thing. Errol, which people still use, correct? I mean, it's still. I've been sitting on it the whole podcast because I knew it would come up at some stage, but I didn't want to go there. But yeah, it's a very, well, it was a common Australian expression. But just to refer to other things, like not even to that, like you'd be like, oh yeah, mate, fine, you're in like Flynn. Yeah, kind of life of a tone. Yeah, at some point. Yeah, yeah. In like Flynn does not have the same meaning anymore. No, no, no, definitely not. Errol, that sounds like something his fancy lawyer would have gone with though. And you'll be in like

Flynn. If the dick does not fit, you must acquit. He's good. He's, he's very good. I don't know what it is. It might be rhyming, but I don't think that it is. In like Flynn means that you have gonorrhea, TB, heart problems. Yeah. Okay. You tried to fuck David Niven or at least you put your finger in his butthole during an orgy. Is that confirmed that that was the first, because that's an aggressive first move. I mean, especially. Hey, I'm in like Flynn. What are you doing? Oh, come on. David, don't be weird. The fuck. We're all fucking. Let me get an F in the P. Let's do it. Errol then got the cigarette girl Nora pregnant. He was concerned for her reputation. Surely, surely, surely. So he married her. Oh, okay. That's nice. Wow, look at that.

Yeah. Nora lived in a different house, though, while he stayed in the mansion. Yeah. What a lot of fucking to do. Yeah. Errol again decided to jump into writing. This time he started taking opium for inspiration. Well, we've all done that. What beats writer's block than loss of consciousness sort of. So he got into taking opium for writing inspiration, and then he forgot why he started taking opium. And he never wrote the book. What book? That's amazing. All right, little opium, then I'll get down to writing. You fuck was I gonna do smoke opium? Yes. Oh, she's just. Oh, my God. That's not going to do. Fuck opium. How's your book? Oh my God. Yes. Yes. I've been smoking opium for six months. Right.

Yes. The book. I'm going to smoke a little opium and get into it right now. Thank you for that. I needed. Yes. Back, baby. By 1949, Nora had enough and she was out and they divorced. Errol managed to get off opium, but then started drinking at least a bottle of vodka a day. Wow. Might be time to get back into opium. Yeah. He was shit-faced for midday onwards and had a hepatitis and liver damage. Jesus, Dave. Okay. Here's what we need. Let's go through a list of diseases he doesn't have because that's going to be shorter now. I mean, when people talk about Errol Flynn as the man who had everything, I did not know what they meant by that. Hey, a lot of these diseases are in like Flynn. He still managed to fall in love and marry his third wife. Who wants any of this?

Well, you know what? He's a romantic. He's like flies buzzing around him at this point. He was like, oh, I mean, he's obviously dying, but he's easy on the eyes. Who was this new one? He married actress Patricia Wymore. They were in a movie together in 1950. First, though, he had to break off an engagement to Romanian princess Irene Giga. He did not do it himself. He had his housekeeper call for him. Who he was obviously fucking while she made the call. Did you clean up that mess? The new couple started spending their time at his estate in Jamaica, which was a party place.

Where was it? Well, Jacob, Jamaica was not back then. He was like the first guy to go to Jamaica. I mean, wherever he goes is a party place. I mean, except his liver or David Niven's butthole. Which, if you've ever seen that, it was made in 1953. It's a great movie. Shot through a two-way mirror right here. He had his parents living at his estate in Jamaica. That seems weird. That seems like an odd choice with the lifestyle he has to have the folks around. With that lifestyle? He finally connected with his dad, though, who it turns out had been fucking women all over the world on his botany trips.

Ah, we finally have something in common, venereal disease. Oh, I was planting seeds, Errol. And pearls. Oh, I got the great pearl, Errol. We all got it. We're flins. Oh, wow, that hurts. Even at 70, his father had a 40-year-old mistress on the island but stayed married. Now, Errol had made 35 films. Errol had made 35 films in 18 years with Warner Brothers, but now he was seen as unreliable. His films made less money and his lifestyle was taking a toll on his looks. Oh, finally. And in 1953, after he cranked out a huge failure of a movie, Jack Warner tore up his contract. That's tough. I mean, this guy deserved a break, I think.

Right? What has he done? What has he done to deserve this? Errol had another kid with Patrice. He didn't want to become an old actor working in TV or shit films. He wanted to work in VD. I want to transition. He decided to make his own movie. The story of William Tell. He poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into it, but it folded before the film was completed and Errol was financially fucked. To make matters worse, his business manager died, and it turned out the business manager had not only failed to pay property taxes on the mansion, but he had been stealing from Errol the whole time. Errol was on financial ruin and he couldn't pay Lily, obviously, for the increasing

alimony payments, so she sued him and she was given the Mulholland Drive mansion, which she sold for a huge profit. Yeah, that's totally awesome. Yep. I mean, the real lesson of this story is that if you fuck every single person you ever meet, you don't keep up to date with your finances. Yeah, that's right. Well, at the end of it, his ex-wife was fucking him still. Yeah. Yeah. Errol was now a bloated, haggard man. He looked kind of like a guy who for decades had been drinking heavy, doing drugs, diagnosed with lots of VD, malaria, hepatitis, tuberculosis, and had numerous heart attacks. Sure. He couldn't get cast and became what he always feared,

an actor working in shit films and television. And of course, he then started hanging around Elron Hubbard. Oh, boy. Oh, no. There's that name again. Hubbard's oldest son, Ronald, would later say, quote, they were only interested in money, sex, booze, and drugs. Flynn was pretty much of a burned-out hulk. But he was involved in smuggling deals with my father, gold from the Mediterranean, and some drugs, mostly cocaine. They were both just a little larger than life. Errol Flynn was like my father. Also, he would take anything to bed, boys, girls, 50-year-old women, 10-year-old boys. Flynn and my father had insatiable appetites, tons of mistresses.

They live very high on the hog. I'm not sure he knows what high on the hog means. No. Anyway, that's what Elron Hubbard's son said. I'm going to get killed. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I mean, Patrice left Errol in 1957, though they never divorced. I don't know. Okay. They never got divorced. But things turn around for Errol in 1957. Jack Warner personally cast him, and the sun also rises. Jack couldn't think of a better actor to play the role of Mike Campbell, a sad, bloated, haggard old drunk, with money and women troubles. I wonder if he was oblivious enough to not know that was him. He had to have known. So who is this guy? Who is he?

He's fucking garbage. He's a piece of shit. He's got CDs, got hepatitis, fat, drunk, all gross. Well, I should drink some vodka and wash my dick, but I'm into this. Let's do it. He's 48. I'm really... He's packed it in, though. He's lived a life. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was very believable and critics raved about the role. For the rest of his career, he was typecast as an old disgruntled drunk, but he's back filming, and he was on the Warner Brothers lot when 15-year-old dancer Beverly Adlin...

Oh, David. David, David. Caught the eye of Errol. David, no. Beverly said they fell madly in love and were planning on getting Merrill married. Well, kind of Merrill's. They got Merrill. The something blue he gave me was, he's genitals. He's old, I'm new. So she says they're in love and getting Merrill.

Merrill. There we go again. There it is again. Merrill. Errol's quotes are different. Quote, young women are great. You don't have to listen to them when they talk. Jesus Christ. I mean, he's just incredible. I mean, honestly, stop talking. Why would he? It's going fine for him.

Yeah, I know, I know. Like, he's terrible, but it's all working out fine. There's never, there's, the only punishment he has so far is self-inflicted. Nothing that he did came back at it. Right. In 1958, Errol was given an advance to write an autobiography. A little opium will help with that. Autobiography. Oh, thank you. He was living in Jamaica with 15-year-old Beverly. The ghostwriter he hired said they kept being interrupted by pimps,

bringing in local girls to the house for Errol to have sex with. He'd just spray upstairs for a bit and then come back to writing. That's the best way to write. Right. In 1958, Errol went to Cuba as Fidel Castro was in the final stages of his coup. He said he went to make a movie called Cuban Rebel Girls, but he really wanted to interview Fidel Castro and make a documentary of the revolution called Cuban Story. The day Fidel overthrew the Batista regime, Errol was there with Castro and the rebels. Everyone saw him. Errol spent five days with Fidel.

The Cuban Rebel Girls movie was not successful. His pro Fidel documentary, Cuban Story, was shown only once in Moscow. Well, that's where you want to have a premiere. Beverly said Errol had no idea Fidel was a communist. That makes Herman Urban seem less slick. You know, I'm a Nazi. Awesome. Take a picture. I'm a Nazi. I can't see. You're taking it, so do it. Awesome. I'm with Hitler. Hey, man, you want to get a biter? How are you feeling?

In October 1959, Errol's finances were still in terrible shape. He decided to lease his yacht to a Canadian businessman. As he was being driven back to the Vancouver airport, Errol started complaining of severe pain in his leg and back. What's it from, maybe? Oh, everything. Right, it's everything. Right. He was then medicated by a doctor and told to take a nap before his flight. That's the best doctor ever. Your back hurts and your legs. Hey, take a pill and go sleepy.

Thank you. You're very good. After 20 minutes, Beverly checked on him and Errol Flynn was dead. The coroner said it. I wish we had a mic on that. What? All I'm going to say is an hour and a half ago, if someone had just randomly said Errol Flynn was dead and someone said, yay, in Australia, people would be like, that's a weird reaction. But after what I've just heard,

yeah, you're fucking right. Yay. Yay, you're fucking yay. You're fucking monster. Yay. He's still fucked two other people, the mortician and the mortician's daughter. He's been dead for a week, but he actually, a lady who works here is pregnant. And it's like, I'm dead. How you do it. He won't die. Hey. Yay. The coroner said it was a heart attack,

but noted all major organs were diseased. He had significantly advanced cirrhosis of the liver. Sure. Errol always said he wanted to be buried in Jamaica and they'd hate to be buried somewhere like Forest Lawn Memorial Park Cemetery in Glendale, California. So it's a very specific thing to say. Where's he? Well, he was still married to Patrice,

who buried him at Forest Lawn Memorial Park. We found out here, right? Yeah, yeah, totally. Errol died owing millions, including $1.4 million to the IRS. His alimony payments finally stopped. I don't know if they had to though. Well, the deal with Lily was that they would only stop if he died or she got married immediately after he died.

Lily married her longtime partner, Alan Loomis, an Eskimo Pies manufacturer. So she fucking, she won on so many levels, rich Eskimo Pies. Wow. Yeah. That guy was like, no, I do not want to get married until he's dead. This is a great... Yeah, we've got the Eskimo Pies money, but more money's more. Let's take more of the Eskimo Pies.

Do you know what I'm saying? I like to think that the Eskimo Pies business was actually never profitable and it was only surviving on Errol Flynn's alimony payments. He was propping up the business for 15 years and then they just disappeared and you're like, where did they go? Oh, Errol Flynn died. No one actually buys this ice cream.

So when Lily died in 1994, she left in a state of 10.3 million. Errol basically turned Jamaica into a tourist destination on his own. Today, many brochures in Jamaica include references to Errol Flynn as a hero because before he went to Jamaica, no one was going there. And then because he was a star, it became a thing. The brochures don't discuss all the underage sex he had with local girls while he was there. I mean, it'd probably be weird if they did. I mean...

I mean, imagine you going on a holiday and then like, down in the foyer, next to... Do you want to go to Dream World? There's also one that like Errol Flynn's like the whole bunch of... Hang on, this is weird. No, yeah, you keep that part out, sure. Come to Jamaica, Ma. We've got...

No, no, no, no. We've got very young... No! Anyway, Hollywood's better. Wow. And it's clean up its act. It's still not a place that harbors sex criminals. Stays are over.

That is crazy. That gets said a lot, huh? You think you know a guy, and then... I just... I mean, this is really, I mean... How? Out of that. I just feel like I'm looking through a two-way mirror at myself right now.

Remember when like putting bacon through duck asses was crazy at the beginning, and then you get to the end, and you're like, that's not nuts. It's just, I mean, that's how you get a bunch of ducks together. That makes sense now. Everything else doesn't. Holy shit. What do we do? Go backstage and ice our brains?

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, when I can't believe there's a fucking second show after that. Yeah, I mean, every time I read this, I'm just like, what? What's happening? You gotta be like, during that, you have to be like, this has to be a different guy I'm reading. This is definitely, this is also him?

Yeah, but then you think of all the fucking guys. Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, Roman Plansky, fucking Weinstein. It's a fucking plethora of fucking monsters. Like, that's what Hollywood attracts. Because it's power, and you have control over people, and you can force your will. I mean, it's not a huge note to finish the show on, is what I'm saying? You guys were awesome. Thank you.

Thank you guys so much for coming out. We appreciate it. Truly. Thank you guys.