The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 3 - Competitive Endurance Tickling
Episode Date: May 12, 2014Gareth Reynolds joins Dave for another episode. This time Competitive Endurance Tickling is discussed.Tour DatesSources Dollop MerchPatreon...
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Oh, welcome to the episode of the dollop. So it's my kid's birthday tomorrow
right and I have all this shit to do but last night I or a couple days ago I
put up a post on Facebook and I say hey do any of you guys have any ideas for
the dollop because some people always have great ideas and a lot of fucking
bullshit. I love right away any favorite a lot of fucking waste of wasting my time.
Hey what about Wes Anderson? What about Wes Anderson? Oh well that is a waste of your time.
But then last night late last night this dude Seth Wright a podcaster in his
own right puts up this post that just says hey what do you think about
competitive tickling? Oh wow. Oh wow. I was like well you should send me more
information on that. Wow. I need a sec. Okay. So he sends me so he tries to send
to me like three times last night and like I was trying to go to bed but he
kept like sending emails that weren't coming and I was like dude I have to
get this before I go to sleep because it's too insane. Dave come to bed. I can't
I'm waiting on the competitive tickling literature. Shut the light off.
So I get it and I read like 10 minutes of it and I'm like oh my god I can't I
okay I'm just gonna go to bed this is what we're doing so I woke up this
morning. Did you wake up in the night and think about it? I woke up this morning
and I just rolled over and I went fuck competitive tickling. I gotta I gotta get
on this shit and my wife and kid really getting ready to leave and I was like
come on let's go. I gotta get on the competitive tickling. Daddy's got a job
to do. Daddy's got to earn a living. You like that food? Yeah well let's get moving.
I got a lot of research about the CT the CT organization. By the way it's my
son's birthday tomorrow so could you be? Oh my god I'd love Dave I would love
whatever you want. I actually I would like you to be. Pick something really
embarrassing. Well it's something that doesn't have a face mask. Oh you want that
and much appreciated. Can you be a prince? Absolutely I'd love to be a prince. Anything
with my face exposed at your party would just be a goddamn honor. Alright so I'm
gonna put my glasses on. I can't. The idea of putting on glasses to read about
competitive tickling doesn't happen a lot. So the pay's good. What? The pay is
typically 1500. Okay so hold on. When I say competitive tickling what do you think
I'm talking about? Well I mean I think you're talking about some sort of
organized sports. Yeah. Of tickling. Yeah. But you start with the pay's good. What
do you mean? Competitive? So it's like a league. I shouldn't
say competitive tickling. It's competitive endurance tickling. So how
much can you handle bro? Before laughing or before tapping out? I think before
tapping out. That's better. That's funnier. I like that you can laugh. No yeah you
could laugh for sure. What? Alright so basically what happened was this kind of
blew up on the internet this week because a dude in New Zealand, a reporter, like
happened across this Facebook page that was set up by Jane O'Brien Media. Happened
across. Happened across. Yeah he was like watching Foot porn and was like oh
crikey. Well he happens to be bisexual this this report. I'm fine with that. So
don't begrudge it. He's dumb as a cross and he's like well this is fucking
crazy. I have to read about this right? I have to figure out what this is. And so
they have all these I guess they're like okay first of all if you go to the if
you go to the the page. If? When you go to the page. Okay that's it right so. Oh
wow. So it's Jane O'Brien Media. It's a couple of dudes in Adidas shirts and a
couple of dudes without shirts and they're all like come on let's go let's
tickle. Like the picture is just like. The picture is very inviting to like come
on guys you're weird if you don't. There's videos of guys being interviewed
about like what's what what's gonna happen with tickling. Oh wow. This one's
just I mean like these guys right here are from Minnesota and they're just
just discussing. Oh there's no sound right here. Oh never mind the sound has
come out of the okay so so these guys are like they're just they're talking
about like what what what how much do you laugh when you get tickled like how
susceptible are you to tickling where your tickle places. So it's just like
it's like two dudes who are doing like a behind-the-scenes interview of tickling.
That's like the first post on their Facebook page. But. But what? I still in
a broader term yeah they they it is like a league it's an organized what is they
just so in your mind you're thinking the way this sounds is that they would
eventually like it to be an Olympic event. What I am picturing is like Ultimate
Frisbee like I want that sort of you know periphery we've heard of it might
make the top 10 once a year. Well how do you think an event what do you think
happens in an event. I could see a round robin-esque. I really like this kid
coming out of Arkansas. This kid could tickle the hell out of someone else and
he doesn't tap out often. Okay so. But is it just for fun they just they I mean
obviously it's just for fun. Is it just for fun it's tickling. Sorry I don't think
that question's ever been asked about tickling before. That's like a Martian
question about tickling. Is it for fun. What is benefit for them. Well I like
tickle. Well this is I mean. Okay. Okay so so it's it's set up like it's a league
or like it's like there's events but I'll read I'll read you this. Thank you.
Jane O'Brien media seeks lean muscular ticklish males. Oh boy. Who also truly
hate to be tickled. Right. For high paying reality TV video project in
Los Angeles. Pay includes fifteen hundred dollars and two hundred and fifty
expense money. So a little per diem. Sure. Yeah a little fuck you money around
town. Yep. You get to stay at a four star hotel stills photography session with
legendary photographer Marco Real Monte. Legend right away. I know who we're
talking about Marco. No adult sexual fetish oriented or nudity is involved
in any Jane O'Brien media production. Exceptive participants will be
restrained and tickled and producer provided Adidas athletic gym wear. What.
And. Adidas is like we want our name on this. And work as members of tickling
teams that compete against other featured individuals. This is very a very
competitive offering with over one thousand applicants monthly. Thanks to
our exploding presence on Facebook. Now they have seventeen over seventeen
thousand likes on Facebook. So they might not be full of shit. Applicants must
be eighteen to twenty four. Oh boy. The more detailed about the
participants. Well I think we're you're leading me down a path. But I think I
know where we're headed. Maybe even twenty five. Oh. Old geezers. It's
like it's like American Idol. Blow it up a year. If you're really good at
being tickled. We'll make an exception. Professional reliable
arrangements are finalized by personal cell phone contact with binding
contracts. Oh good. So once you once you sign on you get a fax you sign up
you're in. You know I don't think I've ever heard anyone use binding as like
a selling. You could just say contract like binding contract. If you do you
want to be a part of our tickling contest. Sign the contract. My hand you're
right in my hand. Put some pen through your hand. So so you can you can you can. You
can talk to this Jane woman. Oh good. About any questions you might have. Well I
have a thousand. You do. Don't you. And you cannot you're also going to get a
portfolio when you leave. Oh really. Jane will not take any selfies or pictures
taken in the mirror. No facial hair. Oh Jesus Christ. Which you just shaved. I
know. Yeah. So you're good to go because part of me was like we should get. Oh my
god. To submit. I'm down to submit. Absolutely. We got to have you submit. I
don't. Yeah. Listen. I'm down to make this my top priority. Although where this
goes you might not want to submit. Oh boy. Well I think I know where it goes. I
think you think you know but it goes so much worse than that that you can't even
imagine. So respectfully don't bother if you have a moustache. Fuck you for a
man who had a moustache for two months. Have a friend take a well-lighted sharp
image of you preferably waist up in short sleeves or shirtless to highlight your
abs and upper body definition. I mean it we no longer have time for shortcuts. No
iPhone pics. They're too blurry and I can't see a damn thing. Jane. Jane. Yeah
relax. Jane. It's a binding contract and no more bullshit from anyone. Okay so so
those are the so that that's all it says. And then and then and then you you get
it to another page on her website. Let's just say this first page if you read it
it already sounds like this is just some like it sounds like somebody's
creating some gay fantasy. Well we're talking about competitive tickling. We're
talking about shirtless buff guys from 18 to 24. Well just in the photo but in
actuality when you when you when you do when you see the videos it's shirts and
skins so you know it's like oh so there's nothing it's just and it's just a
uniform. Some guys are in Adidas shirts some guys aren't. Right. So I don't know. They have different colored shirts in the world. Do they know about that or what. They just I'm saying there are
different that some teams some teams will use shirts on both sides. That's how they
distinguish. Like skins. Okay. Yeah. Like skins like skins Jane. Here's the here's
the form that you fill out your name your email address your cell phone number
your location your age are you ticklish. Do you like to be tickled. What happens
when you are tickled. Thanks for your time and interest. I get a boner and I
have to suck other guys boners run around with the heart on screaming. I'll sign
and do anything. What I've been shooting lately is unique it explores several
situations in which attractive ticklish masculine guys are actually tickled in
two different restrained formats then involved in demonstrating some ticklish
skills themselves. Bizarre. Yeah. A bit maybe. Yeah. But the point is so much that
but but to the point seven hundred fifty two thousand guys apply from all over
the world whenever she is announced presently I'm shooting an all male cast
the project is called competitive endurance tickling suited for masculine
athletic guys who are honestly ticklish. So she doesn't want no bullshit. Jane
doesn't want dudes who are like hey man I just need some photos she wants she
wants us to be real. It must be great because there had to have been
situations because she's so. Oh yeah. And I miss about it where guys been
restraining them and like oh no no no stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. Oh no no no no.
Ah. Your dog was like what the hell is going on. This is not meant to be a so
called quote unquote acting gig. Which is what you're talking about. Yeah. Don't
bring your fake tickle laughter to my actual tickle show right through it. How
effective how effective you are as a tickler tickler who is part of a team
presents a factor to be determined also. So you're not just they don't just want
people who tickling is hard. Sure. I don't know if you've ever tickled the
bro. Oh yes. Then so you know the getting out of
bros little tickly places. It takes a while sometimes with your bros when
you're finding those tickly places. It can be very frustrating. So then it goes
into the money and how much you're going to get. You're going to get. $1,500.
Participants will always be clothed in a provided Adidas t-shirt and a pair of
gym shorts that we provide. So it's a provided pair of gym shorts that they
provide. And a t-shirt they provide. Did I mention that they provide it. Who's
providing these things. They are Jane. Okay. Jane media. That's not clear. If I
were them I would maybe. Well it's interesting we're gonna get into who Jane
O'Brien media is. Pretty quick. I bet she has a mustache.
The shoot is a deal for guys with looks and personalities of athletes, surfers,
snowboarders, lifters, extreme sports participants. The outgoing type. Personal
trainers are also perfect. No tattoos or so-called body art. Thank you. Again.
Clean. That's from a situation. Clean. That's when a guy came in and he's like
no tattoos body art. She's like that's that. Okay. No more fake
laughers and no more fucking body art tattoos. Whatever they're calling them.
No. I want them clean. Like a baby. Put him in the bleach. So I don't know why
they emphasize again Adidas clothing. Like Adidas clothing is a thing
where like you got you have to be in the Adidas. I would love to know if Adidas
knows about that. Oh yeah but they but what can they do because. Can't they be
like stop saying our name? Yeah but why? No they can't. I know why. I know why.
Why? Because you don't want to hit your wagon to a tickle competition that is
probably just a gay orgy. I'm only like a quarter of the way through this. No. It sounds like right now it sounds like a legitimate tickle operation. Right now. It's very very telling.
Okay so and they actually have a legitimate photographer. He's the
photographer of the San Francisco Giants. He's like the team photographer and he
also happens to photograph tickle competitions. Sure. Well listen baseball is
only most of the year. Asian males are particularly welcome to apply. Red flag. Red flag. That's a red flag.
And are at an advantage in the consideration process. What? Okay so if this is not just physical look. This is all
about a competition. No it is not. This is exactly what happens in like snowboarding
competitions. It is not. No it is not. If you go to any like snowboarding competition
you'll see in the rules. We're looking for the best the brightest the strongest
preferably Asian. Preferably you are of Asian descent. What. Never forget I had a
roommate in New York. Matt and he was a good looking guy and he was trying to get
into modeling. Uh huh. And and then all of a sudden he got this offer and they
were like and his agent was like look this is like a side thing and this
happens but they were offering you like 50 grand and it's like a weekend thing
and you go away and they're dudes who want to take pictures of you and he's
like what and it's like it's like this rich guy thing where you go no one
touches you like we have that all like but they just want to be able to they
like photograph you and you just like hang out nude and they photos only just
like so it's just like a brand yeah he was like fuck should I do it and I was
like feels kind of gross dude I would maybe do it now it's so weird but they
wouldn't offer it to you now I listen to you if you can get talk to Matt get
their contact info I want to get in touch unless it sounds like a great
weekend they're just like sure get out of here I'm like you guys are almost out of
pineapple and so you know they they emphasize that it's it's not a gay
thing good right yeah good what do you what do you mean good that's good that's
a good thing to call out yeah no that's good you want it that's people who
aren't trying to do gay things say that right yeah that's how you talk okay so
a reporter in New Zealand got a hold of this it's like when I walked in today and
I go let's do a podcast no gay sex right and then all of a sudden we're having
this and then we did this I mean it's just so a reporter in New Zealand was
like well this is fucking crazy and he goes to the Facebook page and he sees
that there's like 70 hundred likes and and he is a bisexual reporter and he's
like okay so there's a game that sounds like a great TV show and his little
bisexual reporter yeah coming out on CBS on an all-new bisexual reporter what
happens on the phone that's about it he does stories both ways he looks at both
sides of the issue so he sends a he goes to the Facebook page and he sends a
message and he or he just posts a thing and he says hey is anyone here who has
competed a New Zealander you know he just posted on the page I want to talk
to you DM me please and then Jane comes in Jane right away Jane yep Jane jumps
in so far about five New Zealander's have competed but to be brutally frank
association with a homosexual journalist is not something we will embrace we
desperately do not want a homosexual participant base applying for this
project my concern is your journalistic style of reputation and fan base in
your own country this is offered in earnest and strictly professional so so
someone like now now notice that the dude the dude didn't he did he didn't come out
and say hey I'm a bisexual journalist is anyone here who's competing in New
Zealander he said nothing no so Jane went did a little research course it was
like hey homo like just comes out crazy right out of the fucking shoot so then
he gets another message good follow-up by the way just one more crazy thing I am
Debbie Kuhn I am vice president for marketing operations for Jane O'Brien
media I'm not Jane we are different people I also had a global IT stuff
well after a couple emails she admits there is no Jane I am not Jane we're
different people also there is no Jane and I am both and I am not gay and you
there's like that's happened a few times through this where they call out the
thing they're doing so clearly yeah so they email back and forth a few times
it's the same thing you're gay look it's not a gay thing I'm just a journalist
it my journalism doesn't have anything to do with being gay and then and then he
sends this email hey Debbie thanks for another follow-up despite your googling
what I think you're feeling to grasp is that I work for three news three news
is a respected news organization we have all sorts of people working as far as
journalists go but what we all have in common is that we are trained journalists
and we do journalism I for instance love cats but this doesn't mean I love cats
changes what I do for three news I hope you rethink your stance and some at some
stage and your logic thanks right so very well put very well put okay so she
responds hopefully may I be respectfully but brutally frank about my logic that
shared by almost all of Jane media she loses leave some words out sure is
shared by all of Jane media LLC about this larger issue I love cats too but
this is not a social and spiritual taboo in in much or most of the world and
societies as we know them I am sharing this with you and not as part of the
story a modicum smiley face oh cool just as Roman Catholic Bishop SSPX
Williamson didn't want news made of his personal denial of the Holocaust okay so
you know it's always good to make Holocaust analogies I think those go
really well with something like this I think that I think that it's a natural
progression to sure to compare tickling to the Holocaust name one difference
honestly well six million dead Jews okay two mustaches alright those are two
but those are nitpicks overall they're the same those are nitpicky things much
like the Holocaust I'm sorry what I feel like you just brought Holocaust into a
tickling conversation that's right and I would also like that we're having a
tickling conversation first of all I hate fucking cats queer so so now it's
now he's like I'm gonna find out who this yeah brought it great support him so
he goes through a YouTube page and her and she's got it in all the images of
everybody we talk about in this story has a stock photo image it's like they
get their catfishing all so it's she's got this huge YouTube page and they're
all videos of men on beds and they're talking and then they all end in
tickling yeah so they're all really not gay videos yes right it's just dudes
tickling hopefully this bisexual weirdo didn't watch him and then he digs a
little further and he finds out the photographer who's doing all the
shooting is listed as being interested in men and women so now we have a
homosexual we have our in we have our mole we have found a lead into gay all
right we have a gatekeeper we have a gatekeeper okay so then they get there
the three news people get their internet guy on this to start digging and he
finds out that Debbie Kuhn FER is registered with the same German hosting
company as Jane O'Brien media.com so they're the same thing and other
domains all the websites are registered to Norman van der koos oh wow well you
can't write that one I'm Norman van der koos but I've never heard of Jane Norman
van der koos Norman van der koos now Norman owns Norman owns a bunch of other
domain names quite a few based around tickling more specifically tickling in
the military oh it's just I've never heard that before you know tickling in
the military I'm sorry yeah we got to stop it the guys can't they won't shoot
they're just too busy tickling incoming oh god Jesus
tickling tickling in the military tonight and then and then he just keeps
finding more domain names and more names there's channel names like let's
tickle him mostly cage fighters introduced to tickle fights military
tickling ticklish military guys from all over the world it's just this all man
there's a ticklish military from all over the world al-Qaeda when they're doing the
monkey bars we must focus on destroying the devil the unites okay come on come
on come on I'm in the middle of this shit oh my god under the armpits is my
killing zeal I tell you anyway the white devil so then another writer decided
another reporter decided to email Jane O'Brien Jane I'm a journalist David but
I'm straight huh good taking another I'm finally I am in reasonably good shape
and I'm getting married in a couple weeks to a human female for bonus points
I'm also white would you be interested in participating in a story I'm doing
about bizarre and uncalled-for homophobic discrimination against media
personalities professionals that is likely to track a great deal of
attention for you right it's a bit your proper play
Jane the more shrieking that homosexuals do the more our target audience is
secure that a popular and well-conceived project is not compromising to their
masculinity our biggest problem at the onset was convincing suitable males
that the competitive endurance tickling activities in which they're about to
participate were anything and everything but gay so that was their biggest that's
their biggest hurdle so far trust me look what is what is gay about well we're
just shirtless and we're like rolling around are you an athlete yeah so do you
do you think you could do like some endurance stuff yeah like sitting in a
sweat box for 24 hours sure yes we're doing a thousand sit-ups just having a
bunch of dudes tickle you for five minutes I'm sorry it was last one yeah a
bunch of gentlemen tickling you for five minutes right no I mean like yeah
sure where do you I gotta go so let me just go to the bathroom and then I'll
come right back out and I'll sign that binding paperwork how's that sound yeah
good your proposed coverage would be a massive assistance to a vetting process
that is both legal and treasured when producing media in this kind of this
kind of the USA Google suggests that you are having so described yourself not
quite a journalist like the Freer guy not one we bit I understand that you are
to be heterosexually married and even were the union to be an ethnic what
follows would remain may you enjoy many years of happy marriage and live long
and prosperous with a sorry did you miss the ethnic part it is time to stop
replying it's just time for Norman to stop replying even let me just say this even
if you are marrying a black person I hope you have a happy life look white I
hope you have a great life even it's fine it's fine thank you sincerely not
gay central president of tickled competitive tickling okay okay and then
they and then they sent another one the Jane Jane sent another one yeah I would
like to give a polite personal response but you see you have designated me
typically in somewhat accurately as someone who is bizarre in a diss in a
tasteful distaste of homosexuals okay here's how I do it uh-huh I don't like
homosexuals uh-huh but I'm doing it tastefully uh-huh by trying to get them
to make videos of them of young men tickling oh well that makes sense in a
in a tasteful way that makes a lot of sense no no eating wires he's eating
that wire he's eating this one okay bad dog if he'd know no back it up
I love all blacks too and may God defend your free land but I have a
distaste for certain things as well notice one thing I have not assailed
the so-called homosexual prerogative but you mr. journalists are making my
personal beliefs and I can't go on I mean I can't even I'm starting to not
understand what they're saying anymore well it's okay to it's okay to if you're
trying to defend your your yeah you're tickled let's let's call it your tickle
business gay adjacent gay jason business just shut up as I'm talking about
yeah the gay stuff it's easy to shift gears so so he basically saying this is
an exclusively straight situation yeah so what it is is a straight situation he
doesn't want he he doesn't want gay guys to find out about this because he wants
he wants straight guys tickled because that's his thing right well because
that's not gay it's gonna take on that really kind of like gayish vibe yeah
then it's like guys tickling yeah then guys will start tickling each but in a
gay way in a gay way this is you want straight tickling not gay tickling I
want straight ticklers doing gay tickles and I don't want a gay guy near it my
name is Norman Vanderpoops oh god so but this black stuff is weird well
that's just a little spice so uh-huh the reporter puts up the first reporter
puts up a picture of who a one of the New Zealand ticklers right he finds it
somewhere okay and he says hey I want to I want to talk to this guy and New Zealand
is a small place right yeah he quickly finds out through the internet who the
dude is and the dude contacts him and says take down my photo or I'll sue you
I'll get my fucking lawyers involved I did not want to be a part of the story
I did not agree to be part of the story take down my thing so the reporter's
like that's totally cool I was just trying to find you if you don't want
that there but you have to do an interview with me yeah and so the guy
says I'll do an anonymous interview with you got he said yes so now how do you
think guys get involved in this how do I think guys get involved in this yeah do
you think these guys are gay
well I bet what I bet it's like people who are gay for pay almost I bet it's
not they're models they're dudes in like little fucking towns like Minnesota and
they're like oh it's like a modeling gig so but they say right off the bat that
it's tickling right yeah but to them it's just like oh it's like a shoot it's
like a shoot right so they're thinking oh I'm going in on this weird shoot right
and it's just it's just gonna be a thing where like it's like a tickling shoot
I'm just with other bros but then when they get there they but they're treated
totally respectfully through the whole thing and it's exactly what it says it
is you get there and you it's a weekend of tickles see now if you frame it like
that I might come are you coming to the weekend of tickles I probably what is it
you get paid you get paid 1500 bucks right so it's a fucking all good yeah
it's an all good for sure so the dude that's what the dude says and he says
look I don't want my name out there this is already gonna be weird enough so
this is just what he says in the interview is basically corroborates yeah
he said no he says he says yeah I was I'm a model right like an amateur model
like I saw this as a gig I was like yeah I'll do this I got a portfolio out of
it and then he asked one question at the end he said hey do you feel good or bad
about how all this has gone down and he said I don't want to answer your
questions anymore whoa okay all right that's good answer to see good I guess
I leave what was the word bottom me to you so now this story's been up for a
couple of days and some there and also there's some comments on the the news
blog page okay and some readers say it sounds awfully like a woman named Terry
DeSoto DeSisto who went by the name Terry tickle online and solicited videos
of attractive men in 2000 you know as great as it's the name is Terry I'm
like is it a man or a woman what psycho is this and at that time she put up a
post she said guys interest me guys that are young basically 18 to 23 hot on
the thin side not too big and buff no body fat no body hair and ticklish no
sex or nudity are wanted in my videos I just want to see guys tied up and
mercilessly mercilessly relentlessly tickled so that's just the lady sure
asking for what she wants that's just the lady who came home drunk from
Chippendales blogging now she became the subject of an FBI
investigation for what David for conducting an online campaign against
the young man who somehow offended her so now the internet guy keeps digging and
one of Jane O'Brien media lists one active company officer as Kevin Clark of
New York now if you Google Kevin Clark and tickling it appears that Clark is a
well-known director of gay porn specifically twink porn do you know
a twink twink is a gay slang term describing a young or young-looking man
with slender ectomorph build little or no body hair and no facial hair in some
societies the terms Fox plumb chick or chickens are preferred that's nice to
me get me a nice chick wait a minute a chick yeah I want to fuck a chick like like
one with a vagina no like a no hairless man a hairless kid
hairless 19 year olds so is it is what I'm bringing this correctly that they're
they're supposed to seem underage but they're not I twinks are just supposed
to yeah look very young and skinny and hair yeah yeah they're yeah it's they
go great with a bear on the on the Wikipedia page I went to there's a
picture of a twink and it said Brett Corrigan won best amateur 2008 twink
performer slash bottom so they have so they have categories top and bottom for
twink slash bottom oh god I hope it went top this year I mean I was by I've been
bottom last two years it's great it's great don't get me wrong I love it but
I'm really looking to break out this year it's not to do my own top stuff it's
named after the host is Twinkie okay because it has little nutritional value
is sweet to taste in creamfield yeah there we go I was waiting for it and it
has three holes it has three holes yeah Twinkies do what no yeah they did the
little injection holes oh really yeah and so does a human twink a man has three
holes a man has three well you can't put your dick in one hole you put your
dick in another guy's dick hole what yeah yeah you just need a ray gun I won't
talk to you anymore wait stick around so so this person said Kevin Clark is a
twink director of friends with anybody who matters in gay porn he is
responsible for some of the top-selling twink releases I've personally seen
very successful directors meltdown when meeting him I've heard more than one
tell him you are the reason I am in this business wow so he's like the king
twink he's king twink so so he's also part of Jane O'Brien yes right oddly
which again I'm sure she doesn't know because she will not have any gays near
her project okay so now it gets weird oh good I was like this is kind of like
boring but I would love for it to get go somewhere so finally so the internet
guy discovers I can tell by your face you're excited there is a guy going by
the forum name Angel of Death who claims to be a US Marine Corps Brigadier
General and he is connected to the Vimeo account of Debra Kuhn Debra Kuhn of the
email exchange the domain so so channel Brian calm was registered to Norman
van der koes right of Frankfurt Germany and he also has take this guys casting
calm take this guys online calm military tickling calm right take this guys USA
calm attention deck calm right of course right reality ticking US tickling
training calm the training is great yeah that's really good you have to go
through that I think in order to really know how to compete okay so he's going
through now he's going through all this shit and he finds one of Vander van der
koes's companies Norman van der koes has a Vimeo channel of a US Marine Corps
Lance Corporal calling him a disgrace to his uniform okay so it's Corporal Max
a million you are they and I have his where do I have his okay so that's oh
wow that's him and I goddammit I wish that the sound was working on this
because let's pause it right here yeah boy for bastard well that was sad yeah
so the the video is not but basically so he put up this website is dude max a
million max a million and the sound is not working on our phones and I can't
use it on the computer because we're recording right but basically it's a
loop of a guy laughing and saying please stop oh my god so if you go to max a
million you're our day and my ex I am I L I a and you are I a RTE calm you will
hear the loop of a guy begging someone to stop tickling and a picture of the
dude and saying he was dishonorably discharged well so wait okay why was he
dishonorably discharged he wasn't okay okay it turns out that Lance Corporal
Maximilian you are today runs a site called terminal Lance calm where he
makes fun of marine life he does like cartoons and Marines go to it and they
have forums and it's like a place for them to fucking laugh about being in
the Marines right so he booted some guy from a forum for being weird so then he
starts getting messages from this guy and he says your site violates the terms
of service and acceptable use policies of the Marines in this instance of all
the providers represented by the red hops upstream in the trace route chart so
it's he's clearly knows right he knows about computers yeah knows about since
you remove what was a popular thread you're right I have the right to exercise
mine when I honorably discharged I did so rather high up on the O chain or orgasm
chain wait have created website marine and are making a nice future for
yourself do you really want to have a problem with me and be responsible for
conduct unbecoming's that will become more of a legend than DC I hope we could
enjoy a good relationship you're in college would you like some assistance no
strings attached or there's the other way hope to hear from you respectfully
AOD so wait wait now who is the guy being weird on the forums that's what I want to know because it's really not that guy no that's not a weird guy I know that's not a weird guy that is not a weird guy that's not the same guy so then this guy gets mad and sets up this fucking
webpage he takes the dude who owns owns the fucking website takes his name max that's
actually his name uh-huh a dot com and puts up a picture of him and a tickling loop oh my
god and then this is all under the the vendor Coose it's all owned of the better
so there's so now there's like a part of the Coose family so he's created a
little bit of a trace back to himself right what a fucking psycho so now they
got it so it's registered a vendor right and the general clearly has tickle
issues nothing there's nothing wrong with that so then through this they find out
that the quote-a-quote Brigadier General has a Twitter account called Angel of
Death oh okay now Angel of Death as you can see it is at AOD USMC now Angel of
Death has what I would describe as a tickling Twitter it's got a twinkle a
twinkle like a tickling fetish and who's the first the video posted there Debbie
Coon so what the fuck so he is posting Debbie Coon videos and notifications
ever video uploads as well as tickling related tweets and the tickling related
tweets are hashtag ticklish hashtag tickling hashtag tickled hashtag
struggle hashtag resist as Ted's teach a Gretzner as Ted's laughter hashtag
ticklish laughter hashtag gay hashtag homo hashtag outed hashtag fired hashtag
fag that's just one of the many great tweets yeah I felt like over 140
characters maybe a rock it's a lot of hashtag okay now now the Vander Vander
Coot Vander go ahead murder Vandervoen no van der woen is registered as the
Neeter-Deishten group oh yeah sounds like New York the address lists David
DeMotto with the Garden City New York address so he's the owner of all of so
they've traced it down David David DeMotto we have our maid so we have a
new guy yeah right yeah now David DeMotto brings us back to another name who
came up earlier Terry DeSisto the woman the internet yeah internet commenters
brought up yeah who was investigated by the FBI for four going after young
ticklish men sure okay so in the 1990s a tickle fetish queen popped up on the
internet Terry DeSisto and began spamming internet user groups offering young
guys cash and or new computers exchange for videos of them being tickled hi my
name is Terry oh no I'm a female college student Boston Massachusetts area that
is a total tickling freak total as a hobby one that cost me a lot of money I
maintain a personal collection of amateur videos featuring guys being tickled
usually for 30 to 60 minutes oh my god I would shit myself oh my god just
everything would come out of my body 30 to 60 minutes that would be great to
send her one like that here you go we made it to 60 minutes like you wanted not
gonna like it's pretty graphic or a minute nine things go off the rails real
hard I don't know what was wrong with David food poisoning but he just it's
terrifying a feature guys being tickled by a girlfriend good girlfriend a good
girl girlfriends or even guy friends I'm not a business video trader porn
solicitor my interest is in tickling yes of course nobody would say that's Terry
that's just classic Terry now fast forward to 2001 okay Terry DeSisto DeSisto
was exposed by the FBI to actually being a 40-year-old former high school
educator by the name of David Di Amato hey guys come on stop that stop that
studying a little more horse play who wants extra credit horse play guys come
on guys a little more horse play back there please hey you guys want to play
magic fingers hey guys who wants to play under desk I love that it didn't even
change the last name no it's not he I mean he came close but it was so so it's
also very there was never any 23-year-old perky blonde Boston college
student she's not real there's not this blonde college students with millions of
dollars to give computers to Twinks and he is just a fat oh I erased it because
I didn't want you to see it but he's just this fat gross blob of a man it's
that's always how it is that's how the guy who put together all those boy bands
who was like he looked like you look like a wizard turned job of the hut into a
human and he was just sitting there just like yeah oh god they all look the same
look out look how gross like he looks like he looks like he just eats boys
right oh yeah he looks like he lives underneath the house and comes out of
every once in a while to eat a boy and he looks like the kind of gay the guy
John Wayne gays he'd be like hey man relax slow down like it's so crazy you
know maybe you shouldn't come into John Wayne's house up the brakes a little bit
okay now turn off my skin lamp so he had actually fabricated a social security
number for Teresa de Sisto and obtained a credit card name so that he could do
business over the so he created a fake person and got a social security
number for tickling for tickling I got how do I do this how do I how do I make
this happen all right look it's he I'm at that point now where I either just stop
which is fine I could just stop or I can get real weird and I can start fake
identities and I could create a tickling competition you know so on the
one hand I could sort of like you know whatever I had fun I got mine or I can
just go all in and just fuck let's go that's it fuck it I'm gonna create new
people he was sentenced for harassing this kid he was sentenced to six months
incarceration and halfway house and fine $5,000 and he began his sentence the
next month just in time for him to begin studying law at Fordham University
School of Law wait he's he's terrifying he's he's he's he's getting a legal
degree yeah he's getting fake IDs he's going all I mean he's so like he's
getting a law degree not cuz he's like I'm pursuing my dream of being a lawyer
he's like I need to know how to get away with tickling this is someone that the
Batman should be looking into and it's tickling like every time you come back
and say that reminder not gay no this is just a man who's created a few
different people for guys who are hairless preferably Asian in their
20s to sign legally binding contracts that he can not masturbate to ever he's
just a 23 year old college girl like the rest of us so people were pretty
upset by the sentence in my view justice has not been served says Charles
Dirksen a San Francisco lawyer who collected the testimony from Terry
tickles victims it was more slap on the wrist and doesn't show appreciation of
the army caused nor does it deter future abuse so but I heard that Larry
DeSisto commented on that article I don't know this guy seems pretty cool and
gets it so in August of 2000 and in that radio channel I was on internet radio
in 2000 yeah I was I was on comedy comedy radio oh you were on on it yeah
oh Jesus and me and Greg Barron had a show on I mean no one was listening but
the fact that this guy started yeah you were like technically you could have
bumped into it a party it was about it be broadcasted the audiophiles of young
men being tickled and then speaking of their tickling experience nice behind
the scenes of it all it's like a storytellers tickles guys dot com so
interested parties could go there and you know get involved ticklish dot ticklish
guys dot com was a free website until 2001 when it was then shown as owned by
ticklefilms.com who's owned by a man named Darren Star David Star I'm waiting
for us so then David Star is so then they worked together for a while and then
things got weird between star and DiMotto so in 2006 a case was opened by
DiMotto suing star over the allegedly false and defamatory statements posted
on various blogs forums and websites now this is like that never go back to the
weird military guy but also the idea of like you're defaming me it's like no
no no you've defamed you you're the tickle king of the fucking world you're
the self-proclaimed tickle king
so star posted a letter and to the judge saying he's been lying to the
attorneys and all this stuff one such lie is David DiMotto statement that he's
no longer involved in tickling websites or the production of tickling videos I
would like to share a couple of letters written by David in December 2001
stating that he's ready to expand his tickling productions not curtail them so
this dude has had a plan for all of this shit for all of this time David
stars allegedly created the blog ticklishguyscasting.net in parallel with
www ticklishguyscasting.com which he sent was owned by David DiMotto and
another man named Dex Jones it features videos of young men being tied up in
tickle ticklishguyscasting.com is currently owned by Norman van der koos
who's van der koos he's the guy who owns everything and he's no he's David DiMotto
yeah he's the guy that when they tracked it down they're all they went to the
New York business stuff David DiMotto is all of these all of them all of them and
someone has even said that they don't think star exists they think that star
he created star and he's actually fighting himself in court
oh my god that jury I'd stick around for
look at him he's fat and disgusting and then he runs over to the other side he's
like what are you talking about that's deformation and then he runs the other
side he's like I'm sorry I didn't mean that so so basically every person except
for the reporters that we've named is David DiMotto right every person who's
saying is not David DiMotto every crazy person who likes Twink's tickling is
David DiMotto who looks like the guy who put together in sync and here's a
quote to wrap it up here's a quote from the Drexel student that he harassed and
went to jail for well halfway house it's scary that he still uses the internet
oh my god no that's horrible it's like the last thing you see at a horror preview
it's like the last bit of text how fucking insane is that it's just the
craziest like you a guy sent you a message and says have you heard about
compact competitive endurance tickling and then it leads to the most insane
trail of a disturbed you must just be like the idea that you're like you're
even like putting pins in a wall and probably like we have yarn connecting
certain things and then you just go it's tickling he's got it he's got it on his
wall he's got all these pins and names and you aren't attaching it right in the
middle it just says tickle Dex Jones he's crossing out Dex Jones his wife's
down they're like honey come to bed he's like hold on I'm bisexual you shouldn't
be here hold on I'm the angel of death right now I'm on the weirdest Twitter
sometimes I don't know where this case ends and you start honey look I just got
to tell you I'm finding him if I could just figure out who Norman Vander soon
is your Norman Vander soon all right someone get dared David Starr on the phone
wait it's you that's why there isn't one all right get me Terry god damn it
you're Terry all right look oh fucking I'm gonna go have lunch with Debbie
you're Debbie you're all of you moron boy I'll tell you I I just can't believe
they're letting these queers get married coming from the guy who created five
identities to start a tickle league yeah gross they're probably walking around
us right now we don't even know it anyway I gotta go look at these hairless
Asians see if they'll work to be tied up and tickle for 30 to 60 minutes
oh shit wow I really this is a different this is almost like the second
head of an equally crazy thing from last week it's just so amazing that nobody
knows about the these are such strange things well you wonder how many guys
there are like there like like him yeah there's gotta be lots because this is
just one guy was like oh look at this tickling website and then he well into
investigation this is their Obama he's the leader I don't think there's any
questioning that when you said like ticklish boys net I was like well that
and then you like and he owns ticklish boys calm it's like okay so he's just I
guess worried about traffic going to the wrong it's really easy to reroute
someone he's like no I want to buy it I need it it's for Debbie your Debbie I'm
not I'm talking to Debbie right now on the phone on the phone with Debbie you're
holding a doll arm get out of here I'm not gay I'm not gay who said I was gay
nobody said anything I told you dinner's ready I'm not gay and I'm excited
smells good oh and I tell you guys are coming over for tickling later I mean
poker poker poker poker Jesus Christ don't come downstairs oh fuck man and
just the fact that he looks like that I'll post the photo on the yeah well
it's not surprising because there's no way that he would look good no he can't
look good he that guy's been that guy's been sitting in a home that is a cave
yeah coming up with all these plans yes and I and here's the thing though he's
making money off of this he's making a living how because because just the
views there so there are I've got to be a ton of he probably members and so do
dudes who are like I'm not gay but I'm gonna watch dudes tickle each other you
know the guys are lying to themselves this is this is the ultimate thing for
them like dudes because the fantasy is and then there's also the gay guy
fantasy of oh I'm just tickling my straight friend and then all of a sudden
I'm blowing up there's that whoops my mouth and yeah so that's a fantasy but
mostly it's for guys are like I'm not gay but I just like to watch guys tickle
and then maybe I jerk off not gay that's like the people of the J.O. parties on
Craig's have you ever seen that yeah those are equally as sad nothing gay just
suck my dick nothing good okay yeah but they always look they all I mean he has
that he could not look like a like a guy who could get laid by men if he did he
wouldn't know that guy couldn't if that guy that guy could all he could do is
laid down on top of someone yeah maybe hurt them yeah I mean this is a guy who's
masturbated in a 7-eleven parking lot without question for sure I'll put I'll
put all my and Debbie's money on it and Terry's and Norman's wait until we find
out he's still a teacher or something oh my god right imagine yeah but do you
think he so so they're flying these kids in to do these shoots they're paying so
there's five guys are paying 1500 bucks but 1750 each yeah plus plus the air and
travel so they're spending thousands of dollars maybe 15,000 a shoot 20,000 a
shoot or more so they've got to be making a shitload of money off this or he's
just a crazy billionaire he can't be though look at him
he's nothing he's just like a fudge eater the only photo of him is from like 1949 so
it's really it's really old he looks like he's with whitey bulger
anyway he's out on the internet you guys hey guys he's out there if you want to
hit him up he's at David at Debbie at Terry at Norman at gmail.tickle
so so all these dudes who are there so these models would go do it then what
happens to them like what what power does he have what pictures did he take
what how is he blackmailing him like what does he have it has to be yeah he's
got him totally fucked yeah he's he's definitely yeah he's probably the point
where he's like all right send me a picture of your dick and like that's
probably flying him out there like look we can make this real easy just turn
off the lights in the bedroom and you just come in and just do your business
okay and then I'll burn those photos I promise look I really like you Greg
you're just a great guy Greg if you come out to New York and just tickle me for a
couple of minutes hey um until the white stuff comes out hey it's hey it's me
Dave I know it's late but anyway you could take a red eye out here give me a
brunch tickle make it worth your while BT BT again till the white stuff comes
out all right well I feel about this one very very weird yeah very weird very
weird very weird I mean I feel dirty I feel scared yeah I'm worried for these
poor guys yeah these guys are fucked guys someone's got to stop the tickle
party I listen I I think the way to do this is for us to start our own third
party the tickle party oh yeah yeah and let's get involved in politics I'll run
you can be the VP however you want to slice it are you gonna send a video I'm
making a ton of them yeah I'm front-loading we really should we really
should submit me though just for a laugh yeah I kind of have to just to see what
it's gonna take a couple of shirtless pics real quick before we do the next
one and send them in with a real creepy letter see what happens and then do an
update let's do that all right that's perfect and hopefully have a mustache by
then oh my god no I was so clear you're not Asian the Holocaust is fake wait
what wait what happened that look delete the last part don't worry black don't
worry it's just one dude's apartment all right well that was the doll
up congratulations nobody feels good okay see you next week okay here we go
hi there doll up people this is Gareth not Gary Gareth enough already I've got
some stand-up dates I wanted to keep you updated on join me on the road we're
having a lot of laughs March 13th I will be at Summit City Comedy in Fort Wayne
Indiana Tuesday March 14th I'll be at Helium Comedy Club in Indianapolis
March 15th Wednesday I'll be at the Louisville Comedy Club in Louisville
Kentucky March 16th I'll be at the Columbus Funny Bone in Columbus Ohio
Dayton Ohio March 17th Friday at the Funny Bone March 18th I'll be at the
Funny Bone in Perrysburg Ohio and that's two shows that night March 19th I will
be at hilarious hilarities and it'll be hilarious in Cleveland Ohio March 21st
I'll be in Lexington Lexington Kentucky I'm drunk at Comedy Off Broadway March
22nd I will be in St. Louis at the Galleria March 23rd I will be at the
Comedy Club of Kansas City and Friday March 24th I'll be in Des Moines Iowa
same with March 25th Saturday Des Moines Iowa and then March 26th I'll be at the
Funny Bone in Omaha Nebraska also April 12th the Tacoma Comedy Club I told you
I was drunk and then April 13th I will be in Spokane and then April 14th and
April 15th I will be in Bozeman Montana at Last Best Comedy you can go to
garethrenolds.com for all that ticket information so come join me on the road
garethrenolds.com we're having laughs I'm drunk