The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 30 - The Taxidermist

Episode Date: November 2, 2014

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the taxidermist Carl Akeley.Tour Dates Dollop MerchSourcesPatreon

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. God, do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gera. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to become a tickly quad cat. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious

virgins go to mingle and do what? Fray. Hi, Gary. No, I miss you dad, my friend. No. That's um... Wait, let me stop you because I know what you're gonna say. What? That's the new theme song or that's like the dollop song but it's not. Yeah. No it isn't. We do a lot of experimental here. No. And yeah, that's it. No. Can I say something? What? First of all, you're not drinking a Perrier. Usually you're drinking a Perrier. I've been doing... I'm using... I make the sparkling water at home and I put it in the nail jam. Yeah, soda machine, baby. So I have a Perrier. A very small one. A small one and on the side it says discover street art. Facebook.com slash Perrier. Oh cool. So... Hey, where'd you find out about about Banksy? It's funny. I was

actually drinking Perrier and they keyed me into it. I'd never heard of it before. I didn't know what street art was and now I'm just super into it. I also... Space Invader, you heard of that guy? Yeah, I saw. Fucking Perrier turned me onto them. Perrier turned me onto them as well as sex. Like I didn't know about fucking until the side of Perrier. He said tried putting it inside. Played just a tip and I was like, what? God, I love good choice, Perrier. Yeah. And I put the tip in and it would go on the whole way in. Yeah. And then I had... My girl got pregnant and I asked Perrier what to do and it said, you can get rid of it. You can get an abortion.

So I found out about that. It's really been guiding me. Perrier is great. Great. Hey, I have to say a shout out to Dr. Puss. Yeah. Which is a great band name, by the way. It's a great band name and they're a great band and they said that they'd listened to... They burned through the dollop on their travels in the United States and I went and saw them last night and they were fucking awesome. Fantastic. And they shouted Ufti Gufti. They shouted Ufti Gufti? Check your mic to make sure the settings are all correct. Yeah, it is. I got this little guy. Right? Yep. Yep, that's the guy. Oh, switch that one. Which one? That one. This one? Yeah.

There we go. That's it. Yeah, I think that's it. Was everything bad until then? No, it was okay. I just thought it'd need to be a little bit louder. Sure. Break it out a little bit. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. We're in Gareth's house. Yeah, that's your first time. I've never been in the Gary before. Is it called the Gary? Why would it be? My name is Gareth, so no. I don't know if I believe that. The year was 1864. We're starting. Yeah. Carl Aickley was born in Clarendon, New York and grew up on a farm attending school for only three years. A good amount of time back then. Well, you get into the second grade and you're like, I'm good. Pretty sure I know

most of nothing and everything. He was a quiet, soft-spoken, pale, skinny farm boy who loved animals and nature, almost to an unhealthy degree. Well, here we go. We'll be hearing about that part again. It boarded on obsession. While his friends are out studying and playing, Carl was out in the woods drawing realistic pictures of animals and plants in his own blood. Hey, you have a question in the back. Real quick, just a question. Go ahead. He was painting, which is great. Yeah, loved to paint. And it was the paint. It was his blood. Yeah. Well, it's the nearest thing that's available. Besides paint. Well, paint. You have to go to the store, whereas if you're

gonna use your own blood, you just, you know, poke a hole. Okay. There's more arguments against blood, but let's just keep pressing through. Eventually, this led to taxidermy, which he thought was far more fun than farming. Wait. Eventually, this led to taxidermy. Yeah. So he just was painting. He was painting with his blood with his blood. And then he was like, I feel like just stuffing him. Yeah, I should I should put him full of stuff. Okay. The dead ones. Oh, that's nice. Carl spent hours and hours in his room studying a taxidermy manual ordered from the back of the magazine, Youth's Companion. Wow. I mean, that was a great

mag. I can't believe I think shut down. Yeah, Youth's Companion is a magazine. And in the back is like, how did stuff dead animals? You know what, maybe just make a friend. Hey, this is Youth's Companion talking. Hey, this is Youth's Companion. Do you not want to have any friends at all? Buy this manual. Buy this manual and then pay attention to the ads in back. The manual was only $1 and instructed readers to work in secret so that no one may know the mystery of the art. Also, because if people knew you were doing taxidermy when you're 12, they're not gonna want to go anywhere near you. That's like when like, like somebody who

touches kids is like your mom and dad will get mad at you. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Well, it's also it's also very, I wouldn't say pedophily, but it's like, it's like serial killer-ish. It's super weird. Don't tell anybody you're fucking around with dead animals. Yeah. Don't tell anybody. Don't tell anyone you're putting stuffing in dead animals' asses. They'll look at you different. They don't do it through the asshole. We'll get more into it. I know you do. I've always done it through the asshole. Okay. He was able to teach himself the procedures of taxidermy up to a point where he felt justified in having business cards printed announcing

that he did artistic taxidermy in all its branches. So he's bragging about it. Go ahead and go pass those out downtown. Yep. How you doing? Hey. Artistic taxidermist. Where you going? You're 12, right? I'm 12 years old. Half way through my life. Under his bed on his windowsill on every free surface in his room were dead stuffed animals. Chipmunks, robins, squirrels, wrens, everywhere one could look. Easy place to take a girl to. The animals were covered in a solution that kept flies from enjoying the dead. Preparation. I'm sure that smelled fine. Yeah. The whole room smells smell great. Oh, yeah. Preparation of the solution. To half pint

of 60% alcohol, add an ounce each of arsenic, camphor, alum, and a bit of strychnine. Shake it well and let it stand for 12 hours. Label poison and keep the bottle well court. Hey. Hey, Carl, what you doing in there, buddy? Nothing. With my poison. Can I get a marker and some more poison labels? Nothing. No parents. Carl used his taxidermy as escape from his own home. There was a podcast over the house due to the deaths of three of his infant brothers. Okay. His mother's grief kept her wondering about the home like a ghost. All right, so let's just just from a cycle. Let's sit from a psychological standpoint. Sure.

Three infants have died. Yes. And now the mother is like a shell of a person and the boy is upstairs trying to save the dead. So I think everything's fine and good here. Sigmund Freud would not be here. Nothing here. Nothing to see here. What's going on inside the house? Nothing, Ziggy. It's all normal. Move on. Just a bunch of poisoned lacquered stuff, dead animals, and a bunch of ghosts. This one is labeled mommy love me too. I mean poison. I mean poison. Over the years, his mother had come to blame his father and she turned all her bitterness on him, attacking him constantly for failing to give her a good life. Things are only

made worse when his father paid another man $1,000 to go fight in the civil war in his place. Wow. Always. I mean, it's a tough call. It's emasculating, but yeah. But either way, you're fucked. Yeah, you're either gonna die or people are gonna be like you are a huge pussy. Yeah. The man survived the war and then was able to collect interest on the debt for years, sinking the family further into poverty. He made a bad deal. That guy, but the guy who went and fought made a great deal. Oh, yeah. That guy's like fucking yeah, baby. I'm you. Keep giving me the money. At some point, one of Carl's aunts became alarmed at how pale and

unwholesome the boy looked. A 13-year-old boy shouldn't spend all his time in his room with dead animals. It was a disgusting habit and now other children were teasing him and taunting him. His aunt was especially concerned for Carl's soul because he refused to stop his disgusting hobby on the Sabbath. Okay. Most of it's fine. But the fact that you're doing it on the Sabbath. That is not your day. I'm okay with all the debt. Listen, you're very pale for a 12-year-old. You need to stop cutting up squirrels on the Sabbath. That's the problem here. That is the problem. By the way, also the kids were having a fucking field day. Oh

my god, could you imagine? I would have just. I would have relentless. I would have murdered him so bad he would have had to stuff himself for that behavior. The aunt wanted to take him to the county asylum, which is only a half a day's ride from the farm. But that all changed. When his aunt forgot to put the drape on her pet canary's cage one night. Oh, shit. The bird was found dead in the morning. Carl quickly came to the rescue, cut it open, stuffed it, and mounted it right back in the cage. Now it was all good with the aunt. Oh, Jesus, Christ. What a selfish bitch. Oh, now that I've seen the magic. You're fine. We're

all fine. Mommy, let's dig up the babies. I'll make our house better. You see, there's no problem here. Everything's full of life still. It looks like you, its eyes never closed. It loves you. It loves you. Look into its eyes. Carl then got a job working for David Bruce, who is making a nice living as a decorator during the current nature craze. Oh, what a what a rush that was. What is the nature craze? Okay, he painted wildlife murals in Brockport, New York for rich people in their parlors. So everyone was into like making stuff look just like they wanted to live in a rainforest cafe. Yeah, like that. That wall should have like a bunch

of bears on it or you know, whatever they just wanted wildlife shit everywhere. Sure. Beats outside. Bruce lived just a couple of miles down the road from the Akely family farm. At once he could see the boy had something about him and dead animals. He just knew very perceptive. A true calling, some would say. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. He's so good with the dad. He's great. Have you seen what he did to his aunt's canary? God, it's like it's still chirps. Carl had no knack for mixing paints or cleaning brushes or sketching starfish, but whatever a chance arrived to stuff a bird or chipmunk for one of the cabinets Bruce assembled for

his clientele, Carl was all over that. So what I think that means is that people would order a cabinet and they'd want birds on top of it or a squirrel. Sure. What? I mean, what's the downside of having dead birds on your cabinet? Not creepy at all. Nope. I find it charming. Bruce saw that Carl was far more gifted at taxidermy than he. After a few months it became obvious that unless people just wanted their homes decorated in all dead animals, this wasn't the right job for Carl. Yeah. Instead, Bruce advised Carl to apply for a job with the famous Ward's Natural Science Establishment in Rochester, New York. Okay. Carl followed

the advice. He stood nervously on College Avenue staring at 14 white buildings for a while, then got enough courage and entered. He stopped a man carrying a large stiff anteater. Well, you got to stop that guy. Buddy, what's happening right now? Where are you going? Where are you coming from? Well, if you're trying to find a taxidermist and you see a guy walking by with a stuffed anteater, you go, excuse me. Oh, you look like you might know where I'm going. Oh my god. As a taxidermist, you're like, well, just play it cool. Play it cool, man. Don't blow this shit. That is the mother of all dermies. Holy moly. Okay, just play it cool.

You don't want it and maybe you get it. Play it cool, man. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. I don't know if I can fit you in, but maybe. He asked the man where he might find Professor Henry J Ward. He was directed toward a building where a stuffed ape sat on the front porch, and he was like, I'm home. These are my people. Oh, no, man. Professor Ward was held in high esteem and had helped several of the country's best natural museums get off the ground. Carl was hired by Ward at a starting salary of $3.50 a week. Boom. Yeah, bringing it in by a couch. That's the

money there. Yeah. 350. He would work 12 hour workdays, have room and board taken out of his salary, and there were no holidays or sick days. Cool. It's a great job. That's perfect. He gets to work with dead things all. Oh my god, heaven. And there was absolutely no sleeping on the job. That was like an it was like a they said that there's no sleeping on the job. That seems like that would make you want to sleep on the job. I'm very tired now. At that at this point, Ward's business was like an assembly line for natural history museums, right? So they're just cranking out, putting them in the huge money is

what we're saying. Yeah, big fuck fuck you squirrel money. Yeah. The art of taxidermy as practice at wars was very simple and yet typical of the era to stuff an animal, the skin would first be treated with salt, alum and arsenic soap. The bones wired and wrapped and put back inside the legs. And and once hung upside down, the skin literally stuffed with straw or sawdust until it could hold no more. So that sounds good, right? Yeah, it's just like making a baseball. It really takes a lot of the shine off of me. My canaries alive. It's like, you know, it's bones or wires. But who who is like, that's that's what I want to do.

Oh, yeah. Who is no, there's something wrong. You know, I think you just need to have three of your brothers die. And then you'll be there. Wait, you also had your brothers die. Oh, my God. That connection is so weird. What about you, Jeff? For four brothers? Oh, my God, all of our brothers died. Now let's put some wires in these anteaters. Shapes and contours would be achieved by simply beating the detail into the mount with a plank of wood. Just the delicate touch of beating it with wood. The end result was a lump of fur that sort of looked animalish. Perfect.

Akely thought this was a terrible way to go about stuffing dead animals. But Carl found little of the inspiration he sought in the job. He was critical that much of the work lacked any anatomical accuracy. Okay, he was like, I want he's the stickler. He's wants more. Sure. He's the guy that's fair. He doesn't want to be an assembly line. He wants it to be beautiful. He's passionate about it. Mm hmm. I get it. The process often left lumpy misshapen monsters literally stuffed empty animal bags. Carl was embarrassed by his profession. In truth, the art of taxidermy was no different than the craft of upholstery,

which is true the way that it's not. I mean, not not wrong. But there are some differences. I can think of a couple of things. There might be psychological differences. He thought taxidermy should be used to make exhibits that could give museum goers an accurate look at wildlife with the stuffed animals and something that looked as much like their natural environment as possible. What a lunatic for wanting museums to actually portray what nature was. Yeah, because he you probably just went in there and you were like, there's just like a ball of fur and you're like, that's a beaver.

I think you probably were like, there's this one species that we're learning so much about today. It's this really mushed fur species. I've never heard of it. How are all the animals round? Yes, all of the animals are round and beaten with wood. Why is there straw coming out of its mouth? He's alive. Oh, so. Okay. No more questions. Over here, you look at some more mush fur. I would love to get some pictures of this. Oh, God. During this time, Carl began to experiment with his own style of taxidermy. Renegade. Yeah, okay. Renegade, cut and loose. But Ward did not want any fancy thinkers going off and trying to

give their animal stuffing dreams on the trying to have their animal stuffing dreams on the on his clock, right? Sure. Yeah. But that was but that left a Carl to working at night. He'd stay in work and was experimenting on new ways of taxidermy. So he's can't sleep during his job. He's working 12 hour days. He's working 12 hour days. He can't sleep during that. And then at night, he's going off in his own. Yeah, he's doing he's doing extras. He's plugging the guitar into the amp. I get you. I don't want occasion. He stole a zebra. Oh, a dead one. And worked on it through the night until dawn. He said

about skinning and molding the body. He managed to remove the entire skin through one incision to the belly and smaller cuts to the lower legs, which he slipped off like socks. Gross socks. When he was done skin socks. Yeah. Yeah, girl. No, girl. No, what? When he was done, it looked like the zebra had left out of its body. So success. It finally looks like an animal. Okay. You mean this he stuffed the skin alone. So it looked like the zebra or he cut it. He cut it and he pulled it off. So it when I'm talking about the after you take the skin off with the zebra, it looks like right. Cool. Usually it would be that's

not really workable for I think it's pretty great. Ma he then hung the skin up to dry. As you will do. There's not things you want to be saying about a person. I don't know. But after he slept, he came back the following day to find that someone had opened the zebra skin up entirely and it was mounted in the old way and his cast thrown out into the dump. Fuck off, fancy boy. I bet he was fine with this. What are you doing there, bitch? Hey man, quit your revolutionary stuffing. It ain't art, man. Yeah, just make another mush first. Put more fucking hay in it. This became a theme. He was repeatedly sabotaged by his fellow

coworkers. We got ways of stuffing dead animals, smarty pants, tow the fucking land. We threw the corpse out again, bro. What are you going to do now? What are you going to do, man? Maybe we should stuff him. Maybe you stop slipping shit off like socks, bro. Hey, what a bunch of assholes. I don't know why they turned to Latino guys. They became an aggressive street gang. We just went there. Then Carl and Ward had a misunderstanding. Carl was too ambitious and too careless and even a bit arrogant and he boasted that he was an artist, not a sculptor. Fuck yeah. Professor Ward fired him. Oh, he also fell asleep on the job. He never had a

chance to explain that to Ward that as a young man late at night stuffing a squirrel, he was doing it for the betterment of society. He was unable to make that clear. But he never know. He got fired, right? He just said they were like you're sleeping and they were like that's it. That was there. That was the problem. So that was that. And he went to work in New York with taxidermist John Wallace. The famous quote from Carl. A more jury six months I have never spent anywhere. Taxidermy has a dark side. Are you sure? I thought taxidermy was a dark side. It's worse. No. I guess the dead animal sucked here. Carl was stuffing

and mounting birds for the hats of ladies on Fifth Avenue. So you could just picture that fall from grace. He was like two months ago. I was skin and zebras trying to slip it off like socks and now I'm making hat birds. I mean, so hats were awful back then. Are you sure? Oh, I love your hat. It's fucking crazy. It looks like a bird lives on you. It is. It's a bird in a squirrel. That's great. In the 1880s, trendy bonnets were piled high with feathers, birds, fruit, flowers, furs, even mice and small reptiles. What the fuck? What do they do? They sound like background players in the Jungle Book. It's the craziest thing ever. It's

the snakes? Yes. People one up. Yeah. Oh, did you see Margaret? She's wearing an alligator on her head, that bitch. She's rolling in it. Birds were by far the most popular accessory. Women's sported egret plumes, owl heads, sparrow wings and whole hummingbirds. An owl head. Man, look at her. Look at the gams on that day, mate. No, to be that owl. I kind of want to hit on you, but I'm terrified that there's an owl that keeps looking at me. Nope, not an owl. The head of an owl. Yeah, a whole owl. Maybe better, I guess, than just the severed head. You look like a shaman. You're scaring me. A single hat could feature all those birds. What?

That's not it. Plus four or five warblers. If I had a time machine, I think my first stop might be to this time to just be like, no! Then get back in. That there should be an owl or an ostrich left with a single feather apiece hardly seems possible, Harper's Bazaar reported in 1897. Jesus. In 1886, Frank Chapman went to the women's fashion district on 14th Street to tally the stuffed birds on the hats of passing women. He identified the wings, heads, tails, and entire bodies of three bluebirds, two red-headed woodpeckers, nine Baltimore Orioles, five blue jays, 21 common terns, a soft wet owl, and a prairie hen into a hen. I'm just like

trying to figure out when they're gonna be like, we've gone too far. Owl head sounded like it. A prairie hen on your head. At some point, someone's like, I'm gonna put a dog on here. Yeah, that's it. I would love to see what it was. Yeah, it's just the sitting dog on my head. Doesn't your neck hurt? It's fucking killing me. But I'm the bell of the ball. In two afternoon trips, Chapman counted 174 birds and 40 species in all. So he's like a bird watcher on 5th Street. Yeah, bird watchers are probably just like, you can just sit here. There goes a Ren. Yep, look at that. Across the world, it is estimated 200,000 birds a year were

killed and ended up as fashion. Must have been so fucking confusing for birds at first too. They were probably like, Henry, hand Jesus Christ. What the fuck? I came over to say hi, but you're just staring at me dad. It's just the head of dad. Karl worked in a dark dank basement in a moldy warehouse under the Brooklyn Bridge. Healthy. The workshop snake of death and the sound of whistles of passing tug boats and other vessels was endless. So now it's like a bad movie, right? Yeah, his boss, John Wallace was a short intense man with a cockney accent who loved the shit out of beer. Akely in the other young taxidermists, mostly boys. So

it's like a bad summer job. Yeah, it's like a or some of you do have to get out of college. Yeah, what are you doing? You know what I haven't figured out yet. So right now I'm just just you want to jump stuff and birds for hats. Okay, cool. Come to this basement that smells like mold. They would all come in and sit around a table on wooden benches. Hunters would come in with bags of dead birds from New Jersey or Long Island and Wallace would haggle with them. Then the bag would be dumped on dumped onto the table. Sometimes 400 birds a day. Oh my god, four. Oh my god. Bluebirds, sparrows, wax wings, whatever they could shoot. Just

a big bloody heap of dead birds on the table. Karl would reach into the pile, pull out a bird skin it quickly shaping into something that would look great on a lady's head and then move on to the next one. His fingers bled from the sharp bird talons and the sewing needles. He would often skin 100 birds a day. Ah, then the birds were dried, boxed and shipped off to the fashion district. The dead bird on a hat was at its peak fashion wise and Wallace had the best reputation for quickly skinning birds. This is another thing that why like in movies that take place around this, why is nobody exploited the fact that birds were on

heads? Fuck, I have no idea. It's insane. Yeah. Why wouldn't that, how is that not in all movies of that time period? It's a pretty great detail. Any movie that is taking place around this time, the 1890s, it should just be all dead birds on heads. I remember Gangs of New York. I don't remember one bird hat. Not one bird hat. Not one. Not one. It's also a different time period. He was completely depressed and no liar considered himself an artist. He thought he deserved his purgatory for being arrogant when he was at wards. Okay. Sure. So when Henry Ward came after Carl declaring that his dismissal had been an erroneous mistake, he happily

returned to his former employer. Okay, so things are. Well, things are not good. They're better. Things are better than working in the bird heap. Yeah. But he hated, yeah, we're back though. Well, there his biggest job was mounting the famous elephant jumbo from PT Barnum Circus. Wow. Okay, that seems like a pretty good gig. Jumbo died in a terrible train accident. And Carl and his supervisor, Critchley, were sent to complete the five month project of mounting jumbo. Wow. It could have been easy to mount it. No. Especially when you're rusty because you've been doing birds. Yeah. And I mean, who knows what a train accident does to the

body of an elephant. There's also that. It can't be good. I'm sure it's not good. It can't be great. Yeah. Carl left wards after three years and took a position at the Milwaukee Public Museum. Hey, been there. Girl. Been there. You've seen some of his work. Sure. Yeah, apparently a lot of it's still there. And I have. Yeah. It became the turning point of Carl's career where over the eight years that he worked at the museum, he was able to put into practice many of the ideas he had theorized over his during his day at wards. He was a also prolific inventor at this time, perfecting a cement gun to repair the crumbling facade of the field

Colombian Museum in Chicago. He is today known as the inventor of the shotcrete or the gun night as he termed the time. And can you imagine a day without gun night? I mean, I I love to just go out with my shotcrete and just blast some. Are we shot creating this week? Yeah, we are shot. Okay, because I don't know if you are. No, I got I got all set up. We're gonna shot. Perfect. Perfect. Maybe shot create a couple of Starbucks. Yeah, I can't wait. Over his lifetime, he was awarded more than 30 patents for his inventions. So he's no dummy. Yeah, but he no no dummy. But he also invent stuff like the shotcrete. Right. So totally

useless. Yep. It was at the Milwaukee Public Museum that he revolutionized taxed army. He created realistic looking animals surrounded by their natural habitat. He dedicated his life to making the most life like dead animals around using plaster and modeling clay while paying special attention to the musculature, behavior and skeletal structure of the animal. He went out of his way to make it look like it was still alive. To take it a step further, he then put the animals in life like environments devising new ways to create life like trees and plants out of wax wire thread and other stuff. He made sure

that any museum exhibit he designed was life like in as realistic as possible. But what I'm that's good for him. But why? Why was there anybody who was like, No, don't make it. You know, people hate change. Yeah, but but okay, so you're working in taxidermy and you're taking like a skunk and you and you and I've mushed into a nice ball. Yeah, you basically just fucking shoved in as fast as you can. Yeah, there's a skunk. And now some guys like, look, man, that's got to look really great and more like a skunk. And then you have to make a skunk environment. Yeah, if you're that dude, you're like, I don't want to be here 15

hours a day. I want to fucking punch the clock. I'm the talent scout in back. You know, I'm like, All right, I like what this kid's saying. It's I'm telling you, it's just people didn't want to do the work. I mean, I feel like people with birds on their heads would be pretty understanding. Well, that's that's a good point. Thank you. His first project in draw involved the portrayal of a lap lander driving a caribou sled over the snow. This successful project was followed by another exhibit involving orangutans collected in Borneo. So he's fucking doing it. Yeah, Borneo, where uh, Mufti Gufti is said. He also took his

first trip to Africa to hunt his own animals from the museum. Okay. His hunting trips did not always go well. Curious why? On one particular day, he was in Somalia checking out the wildlife. Hunting alone, he shot a hyena and a warthog and then left them in a secure place and continued hunting. That's probably not a good call. Why are you saying that in well Africa in the 1900 that there isn't like a like a lock box? Yeah, no, I feel like that's gonna bite him in the ass. Like you don't think there's like a hunting locker that you know, I feel like it's probably almost like bait. Oh, yeah. Well, that's

interesting. That's an interesting theory, isn't it? Hmm. Later in the day, he went back to his spot, but instead of finding his dead hyena and warthog, he found two big bloody streaks leading into the bushes. Oh, I should probably go see what that is. Carl heard noises and froze. It took him just a second to realize what was happening, but it was already too late. He raised his rifle and fired to try to scare off the animal, but that didn't work at all. Suddenly out of the suddenly out of the bushes left a gigantic leopard. Carl was unable to get his weapon pointed quickly enough so he dropped his gun and threw his arm up just

in time to prevent the beast from ripping out his throat. Oh, the leopard latched onto Carl's left hand, biting down with everything it had while kicking him with its back legs. The classic two-pronged cat attack. Yeah. Double, double down. It's also, I mean, on behalf of animals, it really has a lot of ass to kick out. It does. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when he tried to pull his hand out of the leopard's jaws, it only made the cat bite down harder. Oh, so he's basically fucked. There's not a lot of winning moments. No, this is not going well at all. So that's the end of the doll. Was it a good story? It's really good. No, it's

not. Actually used his taxidermy brain and punched his fist down into the leopard's mouth. Oh, shit. Greatest move of all time. Well, the leopard was like, that's a fist. No, I didn't. That's new. A fist. Congratulations, my friend. Not the self. Don't eat fists. This is his first live taxidermy. It's exciting. So, you know, if this ever happens to you, if the leopard's ever eating your hand and punching you in the gut with its back legs, you just cram your fucking hand deeper into it because the leopard gagged because it was choking. Yeah, it gagged like a baby. Then Carl pulled his hand out and he grabbed the leopard and

body slammed it to the ground. Then he jumped on it with both knees. Whoa. Now it's like professional wrestling. Now, like other leopards are like, we should get the fuck out of here. I don't know what's happening. And then he crushed it to death with his knees. Jesus Christ. Yeah. How do you feel about Carl now? I feel like Carl's a little Hugh Glassy at this moment. A little Hugh Glassy. So, now he was bleeding from a shitload of terrible wounds to one of his hands. One of his hands, his hand was shattered. His torso was clawed up and also at the same time he was recovering from a bottom malaria. So, when this happened, he was

already a little woozy. Sure. Well, a leopard attack will make you feel a little dizzy. Yeah, it's a lot. They say if you're getting over malaria to not fight a leopard. Yeah, they've always, it says right on the antibiotic bottle. Take with food, no leopard fight. Don't fight leopards. Don't fight leopards. But if you do, you just punch through it. He was barely able to stand, but he did. And then he picked up the leopard and threw it over his shoulder and walked back to camp because he's a taxidermist. Well, even though he feels like shit, he's like, well, I'm not leaving this here. Well, I didn't realize I was working still, but

okay. Still on the clock. You're coming with me, bitch. Goddamn. I mean, you also want it just to like go up to other people and be like, so I killed this with my hands. With my hands. What did you do today? Oh, really? You just made a bird hat. Just see. Good talking. I just want to see a guy walking about camp whistling with a leopard over his. Kill the leopard. Hey, my hands fucked up. This thing died from my knees. What'd you guys do? Make a fire? Oh, cool. Way to go. When back at camp, he did a little taxidermy taxidermy and presto museum exhibit. The leopard. Jesus. The encounter the times wrote of the encounter. The times

wrote, Eckily had been bitten and clawed to shreds before he finally succeeded in throttling the enraged carnivore. The cat's body grew limp. And for the first time in history, one of great one of the great jungle felines succumbed in a fair fight to a weaponless man. It's crazy. Weaponless weaponless. Weaponless guy beat the shit and out of and kill the leopard. Beat a leopard with his hands. Carl's photographed his arms and bandages standing alongside the strangled leopard. I'm going to use that one for the picture for the. Oh, great. Yeah. His eye. He eyes his former adversary, the leopard with deep suspicion as if the

animal might yet return to life and bite his head off. Understandable. It's a great picture. But did this life or death struggle keep car away from heading back out to nature? My guess is fuck no. He married his wife, Delia, in 1902. She accompanied accompanied him on expeditions to kill and stuff animals. So bring the lady out. Of course. Right. And she participated completely. Okay. One of the family elephants, one of the family African elephants in the African hall at the museum, American Museum of Natural History standing today was shot by his wife, Delia. Geez. He remained in the museum for eight years when due to

his outstanding work in both taxidermy and museum exhibits, he was offered a position with the British Museum in London. Good up and up. Yep. He accepted it. And on his way there, he decided to stop off the American Museum of Natural History in New York. While their officials at the Field Museum heard about the offer from the British Museum and made a counter offer. Wow. Now they're fucking bidding on the taxidermy. He's like a hot commodity. Wow. Yeah. What do you mean? You're not coming. We've already made a deal. I got a better deal. Well, the New York Museum offered him a much better contract and the opportunity to

go on an expedition to Africa to secure specimens. He accepted on the spot. Okay. He agreed to work for free. Interesting. Interesting. What's happening here? Interesting move. Okay. The only man who creates a bidding war for nothing. I'm terrible at negotiating. I'll do it for zero. But if you two both want me, I'll do it for nothing. I think I got a pretty good deal. He agreed to work for free as long as the museum would finance him on a bunch of trips to Africa to collect specimens. So all he wants is to be able to go to Africa and get his shit paid for. That's fine. Free travel. Sure. That makes a lot of sense. But that means he's

killing animals just so we understand what he's doing. Yep. Yep. Carl saw this as a mission of conservation instead of as a guy shooting animals and putting them back together so people on another continent could look at them for fun. In the early 1900s, it was a time when every dude with a few bucks headed over to Africa and shot the living shit out of beautiful animals. It was just with the thing. It still happens now. I know. But then it was like it was the thing. It was almost it was like a bird on a hat. Carl was worried that this senseless destruction of wildlife would end up completely depopulating entire swaths

of the African countryside. He should just learn to have his government not worry about that. Yeah, I agree. Way better policy. So he went on a simple mission. Observe the wild animals, get between two and five various breeds of African wildlife, preserve their hides and memorialize them in a life like sculpture. So they look exactly like they did in the wild, except without a beating heart. Except without the life part. You can't explain that to the animals. Unfortunately, they look at it as just a murder. Guys, I'd like to work with you and have you just stand still for a few years. But I've also had a

leopard eat my hand and know how you get. I'm going to kill you. Your memory will live on. Carl wanted future generations to know what a hippo looked like. And he assumed they would soon be extinct. So a better way to help people remember animals than by killing them and making them into stuffed animals. Right? Sure. Logic. Yep. So off to Africa, he went on several chips. Eklina's wife were now becoming a famous hunter couple written about in used papers. Oh, of course. I mean, everybody, it's just like today with our famous hunter couples. Yeah. The it hunter couple. In 1909, who hunted it better? In 1909, on a usan geishu plateau

in Nairobi, his party met up with the hunting party of theater Roosevelt Smithsonian expedition. Oh, shit. So he's banging with the big boys. Ex president wrote a Roosevelt had already been in Africa for five months collecting animal bodies for display at the Smithsonian, many of which were still there are still there today. Now, he was the president when he did just he just got out off. OK, he literally got out of his got out of boat and went and fucking shot because I would just be so amazing for a president. I know. I mean, well, he was just shoot it. Yeah, don't George Bush. I'm going to take five

months off and go kill animals. OK, you'll be worth it when I come back can you see what a hippo is? Our infrastructure in the quiet pipe down hippos, hippos. Overall, Roosevelt and his companion is killed or trapped approximately 11,400 animals. What? From insects to moles to hippopotamuses and elephants. Roosevelt was funded by Carnegie, one of the richest men in the world. Yeah. And what and Carnegie was like, just come back

with everything. I thought like eight or nine, not all five months, 11,000, 11,400 animals. I mean, on the second day together, they came across a herd of elephants and Roosevelt and his son killed four. It's a little much since elephants are huge, their skin can take 12 hours to remove. So Carl and his crew were able to save the skins from two large cows and a calf. The skin bones and tusks were placed on wagons, then onto a train, then onto a boat and shipped to the US. So he so

Roosevelt shot some animals, he and then he and his dudes in Africa, just fucking cut him up and send him home. I mean, basically, you're taking out all of the meat. Right. That's what you're doing. You're just moving all the meat and then just being like, don't need that. And then you send everything else back. Perfect. And someone and then there's a a cross shipment and a lady opens up a box expecting hats. And that's when people started wearing elephant bones on their hats. The latest

trend. However, a bull was needed for the completion of the family diorama for the museum. Right? What was a bull? You gotta have a daddy because you got the two the two ladies and the baby. Yeah. Now you need a daddy, right? Go get him. Go kill 900 of them for that became Achle's goal. There were a few large bulls remaining because of the ivory ivory trade. So basically, the ivory trade was happening and there were hardly any big elephants left. Right. Days turned to months and

Carl's spirit suffered. He became ill with several elements men and gyratus, spirulium fever, black fever and others and others. Yeah, he had them all. His wife, Delia became his nurse as he fought off the ailments in his cot in his tent. She would occasionally head out when an elephant herd was reported nearby and then attempt to end the search for the bull. Carl kept getting out of his cot and rushing into the jungle only to have a relapse and be brought back in a hammock

to start his start the battle with his ailments all over again. I feel better. I feel better. I'm good. Let's go. Oh my god. It's hot. So hot. So tired. I'm so hot but I'm shivering again. I'm gonna lay down in this mud. Uh so Delia was going insane. Then the museum wired that they weren't gonna be getting any funds anymore. The expedition had gone on too long. Oh really? They're cut off. So so the museum's like, yeah, I get that you're in Africa. I don't

know how you're gonna get back but we're done. Have you heard about the numbers Roosevelt's putting up? Eleven thousand four hundred. I don't look good for something like that. He shoots an elephant an hour. An hour. An hour. He kills an elephant an hour. So, the exiles sold their small farm to continue. It's good. Now, it's just another digging into their own. Now, it's just it's a matter of principle. What started out as a job

that should have been a paid salary and uh free trips to Africa is now turned into him paying for everything. Retrospect, right? That's why you always have to get paid for your job. Soon they did run into a large bull. Okay. They shot it but it did not go down. Then they shot it six more times. And still no. Okay. But then the elephant decided, okay, this is not fun. Then Carl coughed into its mouth. So, he decided to charge. Oh good. And they shot it again.

And it stopped. All right. And then it started coming again. Okay. It's the Michael Myers of elephants. Yeah, it's just not taking no. Now, both Carl and Delia are shooting the elephant. Small puffs of dust or rise whenever the bullets penetrate his skin. He stopped again. And? He charged again. All right. This time, Carl shot him in the brain and down he went. What were the yeah, what were they shooting with raisins? You raisin gun. My god, these are raisins. Delia

looked at him and said, I want to go home and keep house for the rest of my life. A fair request. Fair request but they didn't. Okay. Things were not the same in Africa for Delia as they were for Carl. She was healthy. When they arrived in a new area, drums would announce that a white woman had arrived. Normal. Good to feel. That's a good way to feel, right? Good. Good. Feels good. Just one of the people. Oh, so what are those drums saying? They say the white woman is

here. White woman, come. White woman is all of our white woman. Um, Carl, I'll be in the hammock my love. What the fuck is going on? I feel very malaria ish. I'm gonna lie down. After the drums would sound, villages from all over would come to seek medical attention from. Oh god. You're a doctor. Hello, white woman. White woman. Fix me. White woman. I have a stump. Stump. Yeah, it's stump. You do something about stump. I can't put a limb back on you. Thank

you, white woman. Okay, Carl. Carl. She had no knowledge of medicine but would give them what she could. The villagers always seemed happy about it. Thank you, white woman. That's nice though that they were easy. She gave me pills. Yeah. I see you again. Your eyes were closed. It's a miracle. Sometime later, Carl was hunting without Delia on Mount Kenya. He saw the biggest elephant he'd ever seen in his life. But he he got his white whale. Never enough. It's

never enough. Never enough. What if you kill a big elephant and then you see a bigger one? I gotta kill that one. Oh man. I got it. I got it. I mean, I'll do that one. Then I'll go. It's like black chick. Okay. This is my last one. Oh my god. There's a bigger one. All right. Okay. I'm down down $50 but I'll just one more big hit and I'm in baby. I'm in. So, he and the African dudes were carrying all his gear followed the tracks of the beast. A rainstorm broke out.

The rain was intense and driving. Carl followed the elephant into a thick wooded area. I'm gonna go ahead and be on record. Bad call. No, this is fine. No way. It's fine. There, the crew lost the tracks of the elephant. That's by the way, real bad. Well, here's the thing about elephants. They're considered one of the world's most intelligent species. Moe. Elephant brains have more mass than those of any other land animal. The elephant's brain is similar to

that of humans in terms of structure and complexity. So, what I'm saying is, is the elephant walked into the woods and then slowly backtracked out his own footprints like the kid in the shining in the maze. So, that's what I think happened. I'm excited to find out what the elephant does. Because the huge elephant came charging out of nowhere and hit Carl in the face with its trunk. Cutting Carl from ear to ear, making him look like the Joker, breaking his nose and

knocking him into the mud. Jesus. One can only assume Akely screamed, oh, it's fucking on. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Because he then leaped to his feet and he'll wipe the blood out of his eyes. Okay. Now, all right. What? Wait a minute. What? Are we about to get into a man on elephant fight? I don't know. Just then, the elephant lunged directly at Carl's chest with a tusk. He's an elephant. Carl. Okay. Now, Carl has obviously seen the Matrix movies because he grabbed

a tusk with one hand and then slipped himself between the two tusks. He did the old tusk between the tusk zone. He went into the tusk zone. Yeah. Total freedom. Where the elephant's like, not good. It's like the eye of the storm. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Can't get me, bitch. What you gonna do? No one's like, God, what is this shit? No tusk jumping. That's against the rules. Come on. He figured he couldn't be impaled to death when he was in between the two impaley things. Fair.

Fair. The elephant was like, oh, no, I got other I have other stuff. I I know other things. It smashed its entire head down into the mud. Jesus slamming Carl into the ground and crushing him with its 24,000 pound elephant head. He should have been crushed to death. What do you mean should have been? But the tusks hit something in the ground like stones or roots that stopped them just short of I should have been crushed thin as a wafer if tusks hadn't met that resistance. He said later.

He said later. Meaning? Yeah. No. Usually a char usually charging elephant would gore or trample or hurl its victim around its trunk. Carl had seen another victim who an elephant threw down, walked on him, then squatted and rubbed back and forth across the body until it was smashed into the ground. It's kind of adorable. Kinda. It's squishy squishy with my butt. Look at me throw peanuts. But Carl was lucky. The crazed elephant who in its defense had just been

strolling around and then got followed by a bunch of assholes. Yeah. The crazed elephant. Yeah. Uh the elephants started chasing the African porters around. It then ran after the woods and was like. Now I'm going. Now you know. Yeah. Now you know. Okay. Wow. What did I say to you? I said, don't follow me up this shit and what you do. But Carl and Carl should be saying to the elephant now you know. He's got a Joker face. Carl broke a half dozen ribs. Jesus.

Uh which produced a puncture lung and blacked out from the force of being head butted by an elephant to the ground. Fair. Fair. Fair. Fair. So, the native guys looked at Carl and were like, oh, he's dead. He's dead. That's a dead guy. Because he was crushed unconscious bloody and just generally fucked over by an elephant. Yep. Now, members of the Swahili Mahudans and the kicker you use. Very great tribes. Will not touch a dead guy. Okay. Because of Bola.

Yeah. Uh it was apparently against the religion to touch a body. They did build a fire though and to warm themselves. To work very nice of them to do that. And then they left. Right. Great. Okay. See uh they left Carl in a few inches of wet mud. Carl woke up five hours later and looked around and was like, well, can I get a little help? I got you glass. Motherfuckers, you blast me. All the porters were gone and he was like, what the fuck?

Yeah. Yeah. Back at camp Carl's wife Delia was kicking it with the two when two porters came back and told her he was dead. Well, that's not really what happened. First they came back and walked over the chef and had a casual conversation and laughed a little bit. Delia was curious because she knew they were the porters who had gone out with her husband. Where's Carl? They seem to have such a fun conversation. Then they leisurely strolled over her and said, oh, by the way,

Carl's dead. And uh we're all gonna have eggs tonight. Just talk to the chef. The rest of Carl's guides had gone back to their villages. She said she wanted to see the body. The porters said, we're gonna pass. Nice. Yeah, we're good. Yeah. He's the guy and he had the money and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. She then threatened them at gunpoint and told them to take her to the guides. Oh, we'd love to take you. Yeah. No, no. We've always said we wanted to take. What did you hear? Yeah. No,

let's do it. So, they did. The guides however passed on helping. So, she took the porters out into the jungle and then at some point fired three shots into the air. Carl responded with three shots of his own. They followed the sound and found Carl laying in the in the mud. Still saying, what the fuck? Hey, hey, I thought we had a little help. Remember when I said little help? Little help. Little help. Carl was a dreadful sight. The elephant's trunk had scalped his forehead,

closed one eye, smashed his nose and tore open one cheek so that it hung down and exposed his teeth. Many ribs were many ribs were broken, lung punctured, and blood was running out of the corners of his mouth. They brought it back to camp. I'm lost. I'm gonna give up on me. They might die. Stuff me. But I said, you are a type of sore eye. Stuff me. Move my cheek into my mouth again. I'm gonna breathe out of the side of my face.

Look at me. That's fun, right? They brought him back to camp and moved into one of the porters tents and he drank an entire bottle of alcohol, some broth and some took some quinine. Then he passed out. When he woke up, his wife, Delia, was by his side. She'd nursing him back to health over the next three months in the camp. Several times a week, she would go out and hunt burzen antelope and other game for Carl to eat. That's not

gonna help her get away from the cred of being a medicine woman. She's done nothing to fight that case. Oh, don't worry. If you're dead, just go to the white lady. She'll touch you. Carl was dead. Well, um, sort of. Not. No, no. A little. I mean, not at all. He was not dead. Yes, you were dead. You died. You died. Bye Carl. See you around. When he was healthy again, they sat back out on their adventures and went to Uganda. They would just take fucking no for an answer. Yeah, no. Listen, the world

this universe is telling you something. He's got a plan. He's got an idea. His plan should be to go home. Well, he's got shit. He's working on. Now he's done. He's already killed the bull. Um, no, there's more bulls. They came across a gigantic crocodile sunning itself on the other side of a river. All right. Okay. So here's what I'm gonna say. Okay, go ahead. No, not leave it be. No, leave the leave it be. Disagree. Why would you leave it be? Sunning itself. Maybe you

don't have one in your museum. And maybe that's an okay thing. Or you only have nine. Oh Christ. So Carl shot it. Then one of his porters dove in and swam across the river to get the crock body. But he never made it. He was grabbed by another crock that was underwater and quickly chopped him to death. Yeah. I mean, he really doesn't know how crocodiles operate. I guess they're water based too. So Carl was like, I can I got this. And he did. No. While shooting at some crocs and his

porters beating others away with sticks, he made it across the river. But he was like, All right. So that was hard. So I'm gonna take an easier way back. So he turned the dead crocodile into a raft and paddle the cross using his rifle. Just in front of its family. Just like a fucking asshole. Crazy man coming through. Excuse me. Pardon me. I'm on your dad as a boat. Scoochums. Oh my god. Hey, you guys on the other side. Check out what I'm about to do. This is so great. Hey, look

at me. I'm on the SS crocodile. I made a boat. What an asshole. So then he brought it back to camp and stuff the shit out of the crocodile. Just another day at the office. Just another day at the motherfucking. Unbelievable. Soon after returning to camp, Carl down with Carl came down with malaria. Now, so this is his ninth bout. He gets malaria every other day. If the days where he doesn't have malaria, let's just call those the days we talk about. Delia once again,

nurse Carl back to health over a long period. Now, Delia and Carl had an odd marriage. What about its odd? Well, just you know, I mean, I think we know a lot about what's odd, but they also didn't have any kids. They were childless. And it got even odder with the addition of a monkey. Delia became fascinated with monkeys and other primates. She would watch them for hours on end. At some point, she decided communication between primates and humans could be

established. Not not off. She did quite a lot of work in this area and did discover man and primates could communicate. It was all going well into one of her porters captured a baby vervet, a small monkey. Okay. She studied it for a bit and was about to release it back in the wild when she decided she liked it too much and kept it. Oh boy. This poor vervet. The monkey was named JT. Do we know what it stood for? I don't know. Jane Thomas. It was a female. Delia vowed to never

punish the monkey no matter what it did. Weird policy to have the vervet. No matter what you do. No matter what you do. Oh God, it took out my eye. Mommy still loves you. Where are you? The monkey eventually began eating breakfast with the Achles and then sharing a cot with Delia. So this is all good. It's just a fun monkey. Do I have to say anything? It's gonna be fine. I don't think it is. Over time, the monkey became aggressive. See? Graduating from nips to full bites

on anyone it felt annoyed by. I graduated from nips in 98. Great school. Going to bites now. I'm actually at bites you. JT was rewarded with this biting by being brought to Manhattan to live in the Achleys apartment. That's it. You've bitten us so much you're going to the big city. You'll learn JT. You'll learn. JT had her own room, ate with the family and basically become the couple's only child. JT began shredding Delia's clothes and then anything that wasn't bolted down was

destroyed. That's a good boy or girl. That's a good girl. Oh, I wish I had to make that policy about. Well, I can't punish her. Oh boy. It's a real shame too because she's a fucking nightmare. What an asshole. I wish I could go back on that promise I made to no one. Well, anyway, here we are. Dying from monkey stabs. Delia became prisoner to the animal at one point not not leaving the apartment for three weeks after a monkey playmate she gave to JT died. Here's a friend.

Aw. Now, I just won't go out anymore. No, that's it. I'll stay with you. I live with you forever. I haven't stayed with you, monkey, crazy monkey. JT grew more wild. He pulled tape across with dishes off the table. Yeah. Ripped the curtains, flooded the bathroom, destroyed the pillows and bit anyone around. He was probably just trying to do that magic trick where you just yank the sheet. Yeah. Yeah. Up until the up until the biting anyone around, it was just curious

George. I mean, it's what you'd expect from a wild monkey. Yeah. Oh, it's monkeys are wild. Yes. I'm sorry. I should have explained that. I see what's going on. Yeah. One day in the monkey bit Delia on the ankle. She waited three days to call a doctor. Uh the leg was swollen and infected and required surgery to be saved but Delia wouldn't leave JT so the surgery had to be the surgery had to be performed in the apartment. So, in other words, Dave, what you're just trying

to tell me is that the woman who had an infected monkey leg uh-huh. Who insisted on having the surgery around the monkey. Uh-huh. Okay. I'll let you know when any red flags pop up. And the doctor was like, oh, fuck it bit me. Oh god. That didn't happen, did it? No. Oh my god. I was like so awesome if it did. All right. I'm living here too with my weird monkey leg. Okay. You know what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to the hospital and get surgery. Don't JT you'll feel

shame. You do that to him. It took six months for her to recover. Delia stopped going to all social functions and seeing friends to spend all her time caring for the monkey. If you can believe this, the marriage suffered because of the monkey. Why? Because I don't know. Wanted to have sex with the vermin. I don't know. Then JT bit her wrist horribly near a vein and Carl was done. Yeah. Okay. He arranged to have the monkey sent off to a zoo in Washington and quickly

shipped the animal. I think she's going to hate that. Well, you giving up your baby like that. Not easy. And it trust me, this is a great baby. It's a great baby besides tearing arteries out of your arm. I mean, it's just fun to have a monkey. That's fun to have JT. That's classic JT. We've always said that. Oh, JT. Always ripping mommy's veins. Delia then volunteered to work for the American forces in France in World War Two in 1918. She just up and bailed.

She didn't return for over a year. Carl filed for divorce on grounds of desertion. They were divert divorced in 1923. Okay. A monkey ended the marriage. Not just any monkey. Sweet little JT. At some point, Carl became obsessed with gorillas. Oh god. He was amazed by them. No. He invented a portable video camera to tape the beasts. Hollywood took to the camera immediately. It was used to shoot all those old newsreel videos. Okay.

He fucking imagine. Wow. Jesus. But the gorilla would change Carl Akely's life forever. He killed and stopped a couple but it felt different than killing other animals. In November 19 21, Carl was in the Belgian Congo stalking silver-backed apes. What could go wrong? Normal sentence. It's okay. I'm friends with a monkey. It's okay. My daughter's a vervet. I'll show you a picture when I get up that tree.

Seriously, my daughter's a vervet. My daughter's a vervet. She ended my marriage because she tore my wife's artery out of her arm. She worked to the war. Anyway, good catching up. Carl's guide saw a large male silver-back on the other side of a canyon. They set out to climb up the other side of the canyon which was a brutal near vertical climb. Okay. Carl felt the fever coming on when they set out and by the time they reached the top he was a sweaty feverish mess. Nothing new there.

Nothing. I don't feel good. Do you want to stop? No, let's go to the top of the cliff. I mean at this point they should stop calling malaria malaria and call it Carl. He came down with a horrible case of Carl. Yeah. So, they clung to trees. They got to the top. They clung to trees nearly hanging over the cliff and they saw the ape. The guy took aim and shot striking the beast. It fell directly towards them. That's not good. The gorilla fell between Carl

and the guide just missing taking them down to their deaths. But Carl's relief quickly turned to concern as the gorilla catapulted over the first ledge. Luckily, it stopped at the lip of the canyon snagged on a tree. So, this is a beautiful sight. This is horrid. Carl climbed down to the spot with a porter who held onto his feet as he worked on the gorilla. If any of the branches on the tree snapped, Carl would fall to his death. Using a jackknife, Carl cut and tugged away the gorilla's skin.

He cut out the gorilla's heart and handed it to the porter that he took out the brain and the liver. There's more coming. I'm done. I'm getting all the big pots. Get a second basket. But he felt second like he never had before. Why on that branch skinning that gorilla? He severed off the gorilla's head. It would be great right after that if he just looked to the sky and went, what's it all about? That doesn't cut a gorilla's head off. Have I made mistakes?

What's your plan for me? Oh, this is a weird time for midlife crisis. Boy, I really, I really miss Delia. I should get a nice car. He kicked the innards off into the canyon below and he worked until his fingernails were loose, which was actually a common part of his trade because arsenic made it difficult to keep one's fingernails. And more upside. Good. Another perk. Another perk of the job. Look, I don't have fingernails. Hey, and I look like the Joker. Do you want to fuck? Then the porters packed up all the bones, the skin and the other parts, and they

headed back to camp. They made it just before dark. At the camp, Carl sat with the gorilla's head in his lap. Who's a good boy? Hello, Mr. Furry. What are you doing, staring contest? Nothing. Just talking to my son, head. Hey, head. Hey. How you doing, girl? Girl. He felt deeply unsettled that he could see the character in the animal's face. This was a first for an animal for him. Okay. He could see the personality in the

severed head. Most of the personality was like, I don't know. A little sweet. A little, yes it is. A little sweet. I mean, he's having a moment. He's able to look at a dead gorilla head with some sort of empathy. There's something there, I guess, right? You can't fault him entirely. Holy shit, these things are alive. Yeah, this thing's got feelings. On the journey back to New York, Carl reevaluated his life. He would no longer kill animals and stuff them and put them in museums.

Humans. He suddenly saw what he was doing as barbaric. He believed what he was doing was murder. Okay. So that's what happens if you cut off the head of a primate and put it in your lap and look at it during dinner or whatever. If you just keep, if you cut off the head of a ape and then you just keep staring at it, eventually you feel a little weird. However, meanwhile, across town, Roosevelt could be heard shouting. Pussy.

Twitter. I'd punch that head. I'll eat soup out of that thing's head. Give it to me. I'll drink its skull. He spent the rest of his life working for the establishment of a gorilla preserve in the Verringas. Wow. In 1925, he influenced King Albert, the first of Belgium to establish the Albert National Park. It was Africa's first national park. While opposed to hunting them for sport or trophies,

he remained an advocate of collection for scientific and educational purposes. So I assuming he's saying once they died of natural causes. Yes. Like if the elephant was like, heart attack. And then it fell over. You'd be like, okay, so that one. Fair. That one's fair. Fair. That's a fair grab, Gen Z. Yeah. And you can see the heart exploded so much that a bullet like substance shot through. Since the National Park for Gorillas worked out so well, Akely then went on to convince Roosevelt to set up the American National

Parks Association and establish a ton of national parks and wildlife preserves in the States, including some pretty key parks designed to protect the California Redwoods. He went from being an avid hunter to one of the world's first environmental conservationists. That's fucking nuts. In 1926 he returned to the Congo to observe gorillas. But this time, Carl Akely would not return. He cut a fever and died at the age of 62. He was buried where he fell near the top of a mountain between two peaks measuring 11,000 feet

in elevation. 86 years after his death, his life's work is still immaculately preserved in the Akely Hall of African mammals at the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan's Upper West Side. The World of Taxidermy and Fish Carving Championships awards gold medallions that bowed Carl Akely's likeness. Based on a photograph he had taken at Stein Photography in Milwaukee. How the fuck was he not stuffed? How do you not? Right? Yeah, I mean, it's nice that you bury him where he died, but it was so much better to be like,

yeah, let's put hay in him. Stuff me. I would say that would mean that'd be my DNR. Yeah. Do not resuscitate and stuff. Stuff. I've always said I wanted to be stuffed. I would love to be stuffed, just sitting there in the fucking, my wife has to walk by me, I'm just in the corner. Yeah. No, well what you want to do is you want to have like, you want to be like one of those novelty keychains and you want to have your catchphrases. Oh yeah. So when my wife walks by, I just go, hey girl. Yeah. Go giants. Go giants. I'm going to go play with Finn.

I'm going to go play with Finn. I love you too, hun. I love you too, hun. You look good. You look good. What smells so good? You were dinner or both? What smells so good? You were dinner or both? That's fucking insane. Okay, so it's crazy that, okay, so first his, his infant brothers die and then he becomes a taxidermist because of that. I mean, I even forgot about his brothers dying. That's how crazy this is. He marries a woman and they don't have kids, so he allows her to bring home a monkey to serve as their child because he's so fucked up.

How is it sounding crazy again? I just learned this shit. Because he's so fucked up about infant deaths that he's like, yeah, we'll bring a monkey since we can't have a baby. It's so fucked up beyond words. I think your words just did a pretty good job. And that guy is the, the man who started modern day taxidermy. Well, um, pretty speechless after this one. That's insane. It's totally normal. That is an insane fucking story, Dave. Yeah. So, everybody wins.

Anyway, December 1st, you and Will. I don't think there'll be a small up this week because it's just too busy. That's crazy shit. But you got that one. Yeah, I think this should count for two. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. Yeah. All right. Any, any last words?

Um, bolley.