The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 312 - Climax Jim

Episode Date: January 26, 2018

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the life and criminal career of Climax Jim. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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you're not. Pizza eater. I had pizza before this and you didn't. What? I had olive and pepperoni pizza and traffic Sino Bayer. Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to his friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. When I ate meat that used to be my go-to pepperoni black olive. Girl we could have had some times back then. It's okay to have a cat and called it quote is jam-packed. Jam-packed? I'm the fucking hippo guy. Dave okay. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Wait is it for fun? And this is not going to come to Tiggly podcast. Okay. This is like ad-hoc. And a five-part coefficient. My room's a place. Now hit him

with a puppy. You both present sick arguments. No sleep down hippo. That's like a hip-hop. Action partner. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend? No. No. Roder. Roder is the cork. Now Dave this is a... Smallup. Smallup. November 17th 1876. Okay. We haven't done a smallup in a while. Yeah we're rusty. Rutherford Nephew. What? I'm Mr. Nephew. I'm Dr. Uncle. It was born in the District of Columbia. Okay. He was named after Rutherford B. Hayes who at the time of his birth of Rutherford Nephew's birth was waiting to find out the results of the presidential election. Sorry. Rutherford B. Hayes was his uncle? No he was just named after him. You just think it was

his uncle because his last name is Nephew. I already confused him. We're under two sentences. Because his name is so fucked up they're not related. His name again? Rutherford Nephew. He's aimed after Rutherford B. Hayes president. Okay. To be yeah. Who's his dad's brother? It didn't start well for a guy with your brain. Well I mean you know and then if you add in that drug use in high school and college it just sort of uh-oh. Dave's losing the hoodie. His parents were French-Canadian. Rufus had two brothers and two sisters. Rufus did? Sorry Rutherford. Buddy you just got me to handle what's happening. His father had found had gone

into the Civil War in the Vermont volunteers so he was up in Vermont I guess and he jumped into the war with those boys. Rutherford uncle's father. Rutherford Nephew's dad. Rutherford Nephew's dad. Right. Shit. I didn't think this would be much as a problem as it clearly is going to be. Sorry. So during the war he was protecting DC with the in the battle there and ended up with a very serious lung disorder. I couldn't figure out what it was but I assume he got after he was in. Can we get anything? Can you invent something? No I guess I bet he was probably near a fire smoke situation. Breed it in and that'll

mess up your lungs. Black lung. Sad lung. So after he's in and out of hospitals around DC for years the family stayed in DC after the war but not going well the marriage ends before Rutherford's born. Okay sure. So when Rutherford's eight months old he was baptized but St. Joseph's Catholic Church screwed up and accidentally. We did Church of Satan. And accidentally baptized him Rufus Nephew. Okay so that's why I said Rufus. Okay. Rufus Nephew. So he's baptized Rufus Nephew accidentally. Well it would just be so crazy for us to go to God and see if he could undo that. Do you mind if he just sticks with Rufus? I apologize. What do

you mean his name's Rutherford? So they just it kind of stuck. Sure. As it does. His dad's health kept deteriorating and then his dad died on February 22nd 1881 when Rufus just four and a half years old. Okay. So not much is known about the life of young Rufus. At some point in the early 1890s his mom moved the family to Chicago. Okay. But it doesn't sound like Rufus was with her because records of his life in Arizona start to pop up at that point. Okay. He also had a new name. Okay. Totally. Totally. Was it Rutherford? So understandable. The most understandable name change in the history of people. Yeah for sure. He is now

going by Jim Thomas. Interesting. Okay. The other route. He's a teenager at the time so people in Arizona start calling him Kid Thomas. Interesting tweak. Sure. Sure. Kid Thomas. Yeah. That didn't last long though. Jim explained how his new nickname came to be. Quote. I used to like tobacco right well and when I was just a kid I lit into the camp of the Hashknife Outfit in Northern Arizona and was going on the roundup for a month. So I just laid in a supply of tobacco. 12 pounds of climax tied in a gunny sack and a full bar tied to my saddle. What? Handy as a rifle in dear country. At the end of 25 days when I chewed every

leaf of that tobacco there wasn't a puncher in their outfit that wasn't calling me climax Jim. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Okay. Okay. Climax. Let's back up a little here. Okay. So he got a big thing. That's the thing of chewing tobacco that he got. So he got a huge brick of chewing tobacco and because he chewed so much of it his nickname was climax. Yeah because that's the name of the chewing tobacco climax. 25 pounds of it. He chewed 25 pounds of tobacco. That's oh no sorry 12. Okay 12. Still the same. Still. Way too much tobacco. Yeah. Like he's showing off at that point. Well they named him after the brand. He wasn't named after it

until after he did it all. Here's also a bunch of stuff. Climax stuff. Oh okay. Interesting. So now he's known as climax Jim. When Jim was just. Climax plug. Uh-oh. One of them is called climax plug. That's for something else. Oh boy. That's a she's wearing a little outfit. Well back then you know you could draw women wearing it. When Jim was just 17 he was arrested for selling a dozen stolen cows to a slaughterhouse. Okay. But the adobe jail had a flaw. The adobe jail. Yeah. So that night Jim was able to dig out using a pocket knife. Okay so he seriously is in an adobe. How did he do it? Well he cut through the walls like all the other guys

there. Just a few months later on July 4th. That's him. 18 yeah. On July 4th 1894 he stole a horse. Okay. There he is. Sure. But county sheriff John Rimrock Thompson. Everyone's got a nickname. Okay. Caught up with Jim in Pleasant Valley and started the journey. You roof his uncles on Rimrock. Started the journey to take Jim to the jail in Globe which I assume is a city. What is happening? It's terrible things. Okay. Taking more than a day they camp for the night. Sheriff Thompson chained climax Jim to a post. Okay. Not a good move. Jim broke a link in the chain and took off on foot. Okay. The next morning Sheriff Thompson set about

hunting Jim down which took a while. He was captured a few miles away and this time taken all the way to jail. Okay. What was this jail made out of ice? Well Jim climax Jim was stuck in the jail for a couple of months until he got his hand on a spoon and used it to remove the mortar from around enough bricks to make a big hole to crawl through. Again the luxury of first. They don't make him like that. No man. That was when you could spoon out of a jail. I mean truly that was like before they were like oh no. Don't give him a spoon. Oh bugger. So locals there gave him the nickname the Spoon Kid. Wait okay so we have we call him climax

Spoony Uncle. Nephew. Shit. So off Jim off Jim goes. He escapes. He stole a horse to make his getaway. He rode the horse hard until it gave out and then he stole another horse and kept riding. Climax rode the horse hard. That's right. Got you. He was caught just before he got to Benson for the horse stealing and the escape he was sentenced to one year in prison. He did not escape from Yuma Territorial Prison and served his entire time. Okay that's right. The day he was released. He made me with his damn hands. That's right. The day he was released he walked out to discover a sheriff was waiting to take him to jail. How you doing?

You're under arrest again. For previously stealing a horse on Indian reservation. Okay. This time he was sentenced to six months in the Penal County Jail and he was released in 1896. Now Climax Jim managed to steer clear of the law for two years. Okay. Until June 1898 when Deputy Joe Bargeman arrested him for stealing cattle. Okay so he's got a pattern. The sheriff took him to St. John's Jail. That didn't last long while the deputy and another man were eating dinner Jim picked a lock on the cell door stole the deputy's horse and rode off. Good Lord. So they are just he can competence. He's the best. But that's

amazing. Well he picked a lock. That's pretty good. Who thinks he's going to pick a lock? Dude come on. With the dinner this is like this is movie stuff. Again it's first. This is movie stuff? Yeah. Climax Jim had reputation as a lock picker. After he was locked in a cell he would tell the sheriff that he planned to bust out before morning. What? And the next morning he would be gone. Damn it. One time he picked a lock sat in the sheriff's chair and smiled at the lawman when he shut up for work the next morning. Well how do I told you? Yeah. You don't call me Climax Jim for nothing. Also I came on the chair. So then well Climax. Oh wait. Yep.

Makes sense. Hello. You're roomin' with orgasm orny. Oh good lord. Oh boy. So Jim was now getting famous for all his escapes. One newspaper wrote quote Climax Jim is easily the most slippery jailbird in the southwest. Another wrote it is an old saying that the third time is the charm but Climax. By the way that's not the saying. That's not. The third time is the charm. You know how they say it. That early bird well he's most likely catching that word. The third time is the charm gentlemen. Well you're reading extra words paper. Yeah. It's so smooth. It is an old saying that the third time is the charm but Climax has been arrested and

tried about 47 times and he has always succeeded in getting in the clear. Okay. Climax Jim was getting so well known in the area that he had business cards. Wow. What. It just says it's just a PO box. Clifton Arizona. Who's trying to get in touch with them besides authority. Rufus nephew he's going with his official. Rufus nephew. It's going with his official. Climax Jim. So the idea with the PO box is just fan mail I guess. I don't know exactly what that is. What are you handing your card out for if your whole thing is getting out of jail. Everything I read was like I don't know where you'd have a business card. Maybe he just you know you know you

do a job you hand someone your card or maybe when you break out of jail you leave your card. Love that. Love that move. Right man of that. On New Year's Day. If you'd like to blow me in person meet me at PO box. If you'd like to blow me in person. PO box 818. So. Lost my place. Boy stall stall. You know Dave I think if you know what's funny nowadays is you know what I hear something funny. You know the other day I was in a lift. You ever been one of these. These guys this guy he's not from here. Yeah. So I'm talking to the guy. Yeah. And the guy's talking to me. Yeah. And he's not from here. Uh-huh. And we're talking. Uh-huh. And. Okay. I got. Okay.

That was great. That was great. Yeah. You're what's known as an improv. They call they call me Riffus for a reason. They call you an improv. Yeah. That's the reason they call. On New Year's Day 18. Oh wait. The 12 items are less check out line. Boy they're not in force on that are they. Okay. Go ahead scamp. On New Year's Day. Day 1899. Jim is arrested for burning brands. Burning brands. Meaning he's branding other people. Yeah. So he steals. Steals cattle and then he changes the brand. So it looks like his brand. Probably a really fun process for the cows. Double branding. That usually the second brand they're like I didn't

want to be in the fraternity. No rebranding. Yeah. For sure. I never wanted to join Alpha Alpha Alpha. There's a rebranding. Yeah. A rebranding sucks. Original branding also not that great. No. So it's like TV just went through. Go ahead keep it. Take me a minute. So he's you know rebranding. He gets caught. Lasts about six weeks in jail before he and three other convicts escaped on foot. They kicked through the walls. Didn't say how they got out. Okay. I'm gonna go black pick. They were caught a few days later. Three weeks later the local blacksmith was called to put Jim in Jim in leg shackles. Okay. Two days after that one

of the jailers noticed that the leg shackles were broken. Don't touch it. I love you. The leg shackles for the listeners. That's gonna sound a little crazy. The leg shackles were broken. Okay. So before he did anything he so he calls the blacksmith to come back to fix them. But before the blacksmith get there gets their Jim climbs over the wall and escapes. Sorry. So he had them on. So a blacksmith comes and puts shackles on shackles. Right. Yeah. And then two days later the jailer sees that the leg shackles are broken. Right. So he calls for the blacksmith to come back and fix them. Within that time he jumps the fence.

But he jumps the fence and run. But they had a guy waiting on the other side of the wall. Okay. Smart. Finally. So he was arrested. But did he break the leg shackles? Yeah he must have. And then so he's just keeping them on to be like I'm waiting for my time. Yeah. He must have. So they caught him a few minutes later. Sure. Still. Good run. Yeah. A friend posed bail for him this time. So he gets out and immediately steals some cattle from a cattle company. He's got a bit of a problem. The cattle were unguarded at the time. He just saw a bunch of cows out there. Oh man. So he said he was just being friendly. Yeah. And herding the cows

until the new owner was found. Boy this is like if there was a cops this would have been on cops back then. So what are you doing? Oh officer it's not what it looks like. No no no I'm just herding these five cattle because I couldn't find their owner. That's the equivalent of well no my buddy just lost his keys and said that if I jump started it then I could take it. Well I don't remember my buddy's name. Is that him? Yeah it's him around this time. He looks like he. That's a pretty great shot. Dave Grohl. Yeah he looks. The Foo Fighters. So he's cruising around with these cows. Apparently he just keeps going looking for his owner

because pretty soon he's herded them all the way to New Mexico. Still can't find the owner. Is he calling them all the time? Well you can't call. He's got to run around if you want to. Did anybody know these cows? Did these look familiar to anybody? I'm starting to think I'm gonna have to have them. When he got to New Mexico he formed the Star Bar Circle Cattle Company. He was president, superintendent, range boss, Wrangler, Ron Cookup and the board of directors. Sure okay. So he handled a lot of the business. How did he work with himself? Well yeah. Okay that's good. He made a lot of good meals for himself. Sometimes there's a little bit of yelling.

Sure. We have another birthday in the office. But the range boss of the actual cattle company he took them from was following on the trail of missing cows. He also, knowing who Climax Jim was, notified the sheriff in Apache County to look for Climax Jim. Okay. Who was arrested and taken back to Arizona. Oh boy. Okay. Now you should see one. He's a bit of a troubled youth. He's not great. He's got some issues. So this is one of the jails that he was in. Oh it's nice that they labeled it. Okay. Well yeah. I mean I feel like I could break out of this. It looks like he's got holes in it. Yeah. Like a lot. So he's taken back to Arizona.

Apparently Climax Jim smelled quite bad because the lawman decided he needed a bath. Great. Oh this better be a tactic. So he had his clothes taken off and he was given a bar of soap and a brush and then they put him in a horse trough. Okay. Sure. As one does. Now next to a horse trough there was a horse. But he did. So naked Climax Jim jumped on and just galloped off. Oh shit. When you watch him. Well our biggest mistake was assuming he would have do this nude. Now how the fuck does that not hurt? Yeah. Oh yeah. My balls. My balls. My balls. My balls. My balls. My balls. My balls. My balls. My balls. The mad name Climax saying my balls on a stolen horse trough town. Yes he's naked. Yes he's

naked. It is said that he rode through two towns completely naked. Okay. So clothes are not a priority. I mean he's hitting the ground like a terminator. Yeah yeah. He doesn't need to do that shit. Nude figure out clothes later. He was arrested again later that year. So he was on the lamp for a while with that shit. He was on the horse for a while too. This time he went to trial. Sure. Here's the courthouse. It's always funny. Is it just going to be labeled like another kid's town adventure? Courthouse. It looks like a courthouse. So he produces witnesses who swore the crime had been committed in Apache County. Okay. And he was acquitted. And then he was immediately arrested in Apache County for stealing the

same cattle. Okay so. So then Jim produced witnesses who swore the crime had been committed in Graham County and he was acquitted. Wow. That's how you do it. He's the fucking best. In 1902 he showed off his safe cracking abilities when a Clifton storekeeper ordered a burglar proof safe. That's where he lives right. Climax Jim happened to be there when the safe arrived so he started fiddling with the dial. The crowd gathered and after 30 minutes he opened the door. Wow. So he's fucking got some game. How's he doing it. I just think he's one of those guys. He has a skill. He makes shit happen. This is him. He's starting to look pretty sweet. He looks a little bit like what's his name Sam Elliott. Yeah. Well he's got

the mustache. Well I mean really when you say someone looks like Sam Elliott aren't you just saying they have a big bushy mustache. Yeah that's it. They look good in a hat and have a big bushy mustache. Climax Jim continued getting arrested and escaping for years. In 1907 he was on trial for altering a check. Okay. During the trial the lawyers got into a rather intense argument. While everyone was focused on the argument Jim wandered over and picked up the check from the prosecutor's desk and put it in his mouth because he already had a big wand chewing tobacco. Okay. So he just shoved it in so everyone no one noticed because the argument was going on. Who's arguing like wrestlers. The lawyers are yelling at

each other and he walks over to evidence and puts the check in his tobacco mouth. What's on the prosecutor's table so he just grabs it and crams it in his mouth. This might just be a case of either he's invisible or confident. After order was restored to the court the trial continued. Where the hell is that check. At some point the judge asked to see the evidence. I'd like to see this check please. But no one could find it. Jim do you have it. Jim just sat there chewing his tobacco slash evidence. And he was found not guilty due to a lack of evidence. Okey dokey. Okay. Legend was it that as he left the courtroom he spit the check into the judge's spittoon. Nice. I don't believe that. That's what you

take issue with. Yeah. Dude ate a check. You're worried about where he spit it. Jim had a long time lady friend. Sure. And they married in 1907. Her name was Virginia Gonzalez. Okay. The marriage was briefly delayed when he was arrested and then escaped. Sure. Well he had a marriage to get to. Marriage did not last long. They were soon divorced and he was on his way to his next wife. Hey how long until he was saying I want to go back to jail and I'm not talking about that marriage. Hello. And he married a relative named Gertrude nephew. He married a relative also named nephew. The nephews were relatives. That sounds obvious. How is he related to her. Must be cousin or second cousin. I'd like you to meet the nephews

their cousins. I mean you could marry a cousin back then. I don't know if you I bet some places you still can. But you can. Believe me I've Googled it a bunch. I think there's seven states where you can still do a cousin marriage. Yeah. I'm always Googling that. Yeah. They got married in 1910 and had a son Stanley. Stanley was not healthy. They moved to San Diego and had two daughters. So Jim got out of the when he had kids and a wife he got out of the he hung up the crime business and he got into the well digging business. Okay. And then in September 1921 he was digging well and it collapsed and he died. Oh jeez. He should have stuck to crime. Jesus. So this dude is just the first hacker.

Okay. Don't okay me. Don't. Don't placate me. I hate being placate. Oh yeah. You want to see his grave. Sure. I wasn't gonna see his grave. He's just gravestone. Is it in. Looks like it's Russian. It's so old. Yeah. It's all old and. Wow. See we got a little piece chipped out of it where he's probably trying to dig out of the grave. Yeah. Break one last breakout. Oh boy. Anyway he didn't make it. That's a fun that's a nice fun little small up Dave. Thank you. Fun little small up for the people. Forty four forty. But in those years well I guess 1921 but what's the life expectancy back then. It's gotta be more than it's gonna be more than 45. Maybe it isn't though. I mean I bet it's more than that but not by much in the 1920s. Yeah

you gotta have another ten or fifty five. Fifty five sixty. I mean it's before Social Security so people are just eating their own feet to live at that age. In five years we'll be back. Oh yeah we're heading back there because we got to get rid of that. Yeah that's not helping people. I let daddy's fuse again. It's so easy to do I just got to go a little negative and you'll be like let's party. All right you can follow Gareth on Twitter Reynolds Gareth and Instagram. We have a dollop on Instagram. I'm on Instagram Dave underscore Anthony underscore dollop podcast show dates dollop podcast that's our dot com and then we're on Facebook we have a subreddit the dollop all that stuff people talk in there

about stuff and sure sometimes I ban them sure as you're as you're ought to do David yep don't talk shit. All right. Good night. We signed jars.