The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 318 - Fighting Irish vs The Klan (Live in Indianapolis)
Episode Date: March 6, 2018Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the day the Klan came to South Bend, Indiana. SOURCES DOLLOP TOUR INFO Dollop merch Redbubble...
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That's the first that is that's the first round that's the first time
there's been a round chant. Round? Yeah. A round. You know where one group starts
before the other group and then the other group is triggered halfway through
the one groups and then they there's a you know it's off rhythm. I'm out of here
fuck this I can't deal with this. What a jerk. Thank you everybody for coming.
Gareth? Yes. You're listening to the dollop.
This is a bilingual American history podcast. Each week I read a story in
Czechoslovakian and Slovenian to... You'd hope that English would be one of the two.
My friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about
or what's happening with the intro ever. Keeping it real. Yeah. Which direction
you're gonna swing in. Keeping it real. Keeping it real. Thank you sir. I just tell
you the state of Indiana has a delightful history. You guys have never done
anything wrong. Oh boy. And you have treated people really great. Do we even
need to do it? I mean I feel like we know what's different. Different people have
been treated awesome. Sure. Yeah. 1922. That's new. Spitting on my
iPad is new. Okay. Indiana had the largest Ku Klux Klan organi...
I know. I did it once but turns out there's more to the story. Turns out
there's stories within the story. The largest Ku Klux Klan organization of
any state in the country. Led by DC Stevenson from a previous episode.
Stevenson saw the Klan as a political party and he had big plans for it. Yeah.
Ku Klux plans. That almost didn't happen. Yeah. That was... that one had a
hard time. Ku Klux Klan. Yeah. It's the worst name because it's so hard to to make
fun of. It's so dumb on so many levels. Oh it's fucking I mean come on. I if I'm
offending any imperial wizards in here I apologize. Well we'll know because the
lights will like have a shadow walk through them if there's my hat. Do they
call it a hat? Get the hats. Don't call it a hat. Get the hats. We're going to the
we're going to the ten. It ain't a hat. Get the hat. It ain't a hat. It is a hood. It's a
hat and a hood. It's like a snuggie. It is. It's a versatile fabric. We wear a hood and a
moomoo. We wear... we wear a hat that's high and a snuggie.
Stevenson made politically acceptable attacks at the time on foreign
immigrants and Catholics. I mean now we've just cut out one of those but the
other one seems to be fine. Yeah. Many in the Republican Party were on board with
what the Klan was preaching. Times have changed. Made a lot of progress. By 1924
the Republican primary had become a referendum on the Klan. The Klan was by
far the most active and organized political force in Indiana. Stevenson
had canvassers out at every registered voters house to ask questions designed
to determine whether or not they favored the Klan platform or
flavored. What would you put in it? Garlic.
All right. Well that's crazy but yeah. Will you vote for us?
If you put more garlic in. Okay. What are we talking to people about?
Hate. Oh god you're still here. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. You didn't turn away. You just turned your head.
Why did I do what I call it a side? I thought I decided myself but good ears on you ma'am.
The only place that came back a concern to the Klan was South Bend, Indiana.
Okay. One of the few cities in Indiana with a strong Catholic presence.
Okay. This did not concern Stevenson. He thought because Protestants lived next
door to Catholics in South Bend it would be easier to sell them with the Klan's
message because they actually lived in a place
where people had seen Catholics as opposed to the rest of Indiana where
they're like what's a Catholic? They got tails?
Like. Okay. Because if you've ever met a Catholic
person you're like oh they're like they're so different from other people.
Oh yeah. No. Like instantly you're like. You don't expect them to be so small.
No. Tiny little buggers. Giant pointy ears. Oh yeah.
The sharp teeth. The fang-like teeth. Yeah. And like you reference the nub.
Not a tail but it's a nub. Yeah. And they can run. And they can wag. It's like a
Doberman Pinchers tail after it's been cut. Yeah. And they run up walls.
Catholics are terrifying. And if you catch them. Yeah.
Heroin. A bunch of heroin. They'll give you heroin.
Plus the Klan in South Bend was very active.
The local Klan. Klanistan or whatever they are. Sure. The Klanistan.
Klanvern. Sorry. We found the Klan member. Whoopsies.
It's a Klanvern god damn it. Ah so I've read.
Oh that guy's late. We're talking about the Klan. All right.
Ask your grandfather about it.
It is an awkward question for everyone who grew up here to maybe ask your
grandparents. The leader there was always hitting his Klan quotas.
He was hitting his Klan quotas. Yeah. What were his Klan quotes? Well you had to
get to bring in a certain amount of members. A lot of new Klanies. Yeah. New Klan.
Klanmen. Klanzmen. Yeah. Every month. So he was like fucking nailing it. Like he's
like a fucking hot ass Klan salesman. He has sold four more people on a life of
racism today. Put me up on the board will you check?
How does salesman in town? Whatever.
So Stevenson decided to have one of his legendary Klan rallies in South Bend.
Okay. Right. So they're called Klaverns. Klaverns. Okay. And last week
and they lasted a week. And last week it was there. I went to one that was fabulous.
They had one. They last a week. These events. Sure. The one in Kokomo had attracted 100,000
robed buddies. Chumps. Sure. Chuds. Yeah. Rope rose. Rope. Yeah. This time.
So this time they're going to parade. They're going to do a parade right through
Indiana's most Catholic town. And they're super like all they do is preach anti-Catholic shit.
And is that is that their main weapon and has it all been parades? It feels like
a parade of your mind up brother. All they have. They're like the only thing they have is like
we're marching. You're like we're going to do March. Parades coming bitch. We're doing another
parade. How do you like them apples? If you can take that shit. Men walking in a line for a long
time. Oh fuck you. I'm a goddamn dragon. The revolution will be a parade.
So guys stay in step. Stay in rhythm for fuck's sake. We look like a bunch of idiots out there.
Left. Right. Left. Come on. Good luck. We're not Catholic. Come on boys. Lock arms. Come on.
So they they figure if they incite violence in this Catholic town recent history shows
that it just increases membership in the Klan. So if they get into fights people are like I want
to do that. Okay. Cool. Good civilization. Let's keep going through. The rally was scheduled 11 days
after the the primary was going to happen. And of course the Klan trounced mainstream Republicans
in the primary. Okay. Even in Catholic South Bend people weren't weren't paying that much attention
and and Stevenson had his his bros his clan bros wrap who people should vote for around clothes
pins and throw them at people's doorsteps on voting day and people would walk out and pick it up
and be like oh and then that's what they were voting for. Well that's good. That's good.
That's good. Well your moral fiber comes down to pamphlet. I like I like laundry.
Well I think this is a sign. This came from God. God himself dropped this with heaven's clothes
pin. I just knows it. Jesus wants me to vote for the Klan. So people voted for the Klan.
Did you get Jesus's letter to God for a clan now because he threw it down from heaven with a
clothespin. The Klan took five of seven county seats. Okay. Was fairly normal. There was only one
fistfight at a polling station between a Catholic and a Klan guy. Okay. The Republican party is
so it's toast like the Klan just sweeps the elections. So it's now basically the Klan party
in Indiana. Right. Cool. Yep. Awesome to hear that. It's yep. Some Republicans resigned in
response. They're like oh I don't want to be a part of this. So going by modern history for
the Republican. The Democrats plan now to make the Klan the primary issue of the upcoming November
elections. And as we remember from 2016 that's a bad idea. And of course they would end up losing
horribly with that idea. Pelosi was still in the party then right. Still running the show. Yeah.
She has been in the party since 1812. That's what I thought. She's a Twitter. I don't know why people
say she's out of step. Matthew Walsh was a priest and he was the president in charge of Notre Dame.
Yep. One person enjoys Notre Dame. Cool. He was worried about his school and the students
with the upcoming rally. He had a pit in his stomach when he heard they were coming. So he
asked two of his trusted priests to meet with the chief of police in South Bend Lawrence Lane.
Sure. Who I'm going to call Larry. Okay. Now chief Larry is a Catholic as were most of the cops.
The the sheriffs were mostly Protestant. I think that still holds today in America.
Chief Larry dismissed the priest concerns. He's like don't don't fucking worry about it. He said
the Klan has not been given a permit to parade. So they can't parade. They can just come and hang.
They can gather. He's like yeah they can gather. There can be no marching and there can be no
shouting. Right. And nothing can be twirled. Yeah. Period. Period. You're not going to see any of
this. You're not going to see any of that. Then they can gather. They are allowed to do that.
One guy can do that in a gathering. I take that back.
So he's like it's all good. And then to reassure the priests chief Larry said quote if they do
try to parade I will deputize enough men to stop it. Moreover I will make preparation for a machine
gun and tear gas attack if necessary. Is that our. No not yet. Now that it turns out that did not
actually calm the priests down. Really. You know if you guys are really worried I'll get a machine
gun but you would just fucking mow them down in the street. I mean I'll hire a bunch of deputies
day of and I'll get a machine gun. Is that cool. Is that something that everyone's going to sleep
a little better. So there are some forces that did work against the Klan. The American Unity League
League had been created in Chicago by Patrick O'Donnell. Sure. He was an ex big burly ex football
player. OK. Nicknamed mad Patrick. Sure. The AUL did not take shit. He distributed a newsletter
called Tolerance that had headlines like cheer up Klansman. The worst is yet to come.
OK. That's loaded. Yeah. And why cluckers commit suicide. OK. He would also get his hands on
stolen Klan membership lists and then print them so everyone could read all who all their
neighbors were. It was a Klansman. That's so great. It often looked like every Protestant
in the country had joined. But then at the end of each tolerance that was released there was a
list of the people he had accidentally named as Klansman. Oh. So he has. So he had a retraction
list. Yeah. Interesting. So naming Klansman first asking questions. Second. Right. Right.
To a lot of Catholics he was considered reckless and counterproductive.
He had come to South Bend the year before and delivered a speech. Quote Indiana will be the
next battleground between Catholics and the Klan. What side are you on. Will you fight
along side me in this holy war. Our work will be difficult because our government will not
be neutral in this battle. Your government has been taken over by the Klan. You people now
live in a Klan Republic. And a lot of people thought he was crazy. But it turns out you
people lived in a Klan Republic. You're a republicans.
So a lot of the students had gone to just hear him talk and kind of laugh at him. But by the end
they were on their feet cheering like yeah let's get the Klan. So you know he he was like saying
let's fight him and the students were like cheering and you know excited. OK. So days before the South
Bend rally a new issue of tolerance came out with the headline shocking South Bend Klan membership
roles revealed. Huge list of Klansman in South Bend. People the students knew one was the University
Barber. So immediately when it came the issue came out they charged over to his shop smashed all
the windows and destroyed his barbershop. Did they leave the thing spinning. To me that seems like
the biggest feature. Not the spinning thing. No that things cool. Yeah you don't like colors to mix
outside of here but in your little lamp it's fine huh Barber. Smash it Todd.
Notre Dame's official response to anti-Catholic hate had always been to ignore it. But it seemed
like that might not be possible. Matthew Walsh had been corresponding with O'Donnell. So Matthew Walsh
the president of Notre Dame actually likes this O'Donnell guy Matt Patrick. He's he's aware that
he's made a lot of insane predictions but also allows predictions that turned out to be true. So
he's corresponding with him. And times have changed right. So now all of a sudden they're in this
world. If you can imagine this where people are no longer embarrassed to be racist. Imagine if you
could imagine what a world like that is like. Imagine. You mean like dog whistles and stuff like
that. I wish there were still dog whistles. Jesus. Yeah so people are not embarrassed to be in the
Klan like it's totally turned around like the list don't mean anything because they're like fuck
yeah I'm in the Klan. People are taking pride in it. Politicians start you know using it as a way to
get people to vote for him saying their members and to celebrate the big weekend the South Bend
Klan put up a large electric red light bulb covered cross in the window on the third story of their
office in South Bend. Look at it. Yeah beautiful beautiful beauty lights up the whole intersection
it's just gorgeous gorgeous Klan cross yeah fiery red comfy yep and then Klan's you know it goes
blue and it's going to be cold. It's a mood cross. They need to give those out of Klan mood
cross. You seem anxious. I am. What's the matter? Everyone here seems anxious I don't know what's
going on at the rally. They all just turn white. Oh perfect. Right mood. Right mood.
So Klansman started arriving in South Bend on Friday night. Usually when they came to town in
Indiana any town they were welcomed as like honored guests like well hello Klansman hello but may I
take your robes gentlemen. Right this way. But that was not what was happening in South Bend
on Friday night and they got off the train the station was full of local kids screaming at them
and telling them to leave. They're like that's not why I joined the Klan. Yeah. Have some respect
Lord. On Saturday May 17th 1924 students who lived off campus in South Bend woke to see men in
white robes directing traffic on street corners. Why are they directing traffic because there's
so there's so many Klansman driving in that they're that they have guys like tell them where to
park and that's quite a sight to see the Klan you see. What the fuck. Holy shit. No black parking
no black whitey go whitey go whitey go. How long have I been asleep. What year is this. You woke up
in an alternate reality motherfucker. There are ghosts directed traffic. Klansman are traffic lights
now. Can't park there. So so they're fellow like they'd known about the rally but they're still
like what the fuck. It's a little different and as the Klansman are driving in getting directed
for the park and stuff the Notre Dame students are walking out of their apartments and looking
around going what the fuck is happening right now. They heard that the Klan was planning to
pray through town whether they had a permit or not. So that's the rumors that is the Klan might
go fucking rogue parade. Well listen I mean they're the bad boys of parade. Permit no permit
we're the Klan. Fuck about parade laws with a Klan. I don't know why I'm thinking of this but
if anybody if you if you guys have not seen the Utah State Legislature wrap that they put out
just do that. I don't know why it came up right now maybe because the stupid thing he said but
I don't know why but I don't know what I pray for you to watch that it's the it's the greatest
white person thing that has ever been made. It's the whitest white thing that has ever been
made in white town. I don't know why I'm thinking of it right now. It's almost like there's a
connection between white people. You know that woman who said she was black and she was white
it's the first time I've ever been like well maybe that's the thing that we should do. Watch that
wrap video you'll be like well maybe I should you know she's closer. She's more on the nose. So
they're coming out they're looking around the students are totally like what the fuck and then
they start getting mad because they realized holy shit the Klan's everywhere. So Matthew Walsh
Walsh finally stopped acting like the Klan wasn't a big thing and ignoring them and he put out a
statement imploring all of his Notre Dame students to stay on campus for the rest of the day. The
bulletin was posted all around campus and in residence halls in a red quote it has been
rumored that the Ku Klux Klan is to hood it should say have I must have fucked that up but is to
hood some sort of gathering. Clearly my mind was yeah neighborhood. Ku Klux Klan is to have some
sort of gathering in the vicinity of a south bend this evening there is also rumored to the effect
that there may be a parade of the Klan in south bend. Attempts of the Klan to flaunt its strength
have resulted in riotous situations sometimes in the loss of life. However aggravating the
appearance of the Klan may be remember that lawlessness begets lawlessness. The place for
the Notre Dame men this afternoon and tonight is on the Notre Dame campus. There are no women
because if there's women they have a hole and the men have a thing. Although the men have a
hole too with the Catholic thing never mind. Unfortunately some of the men have found out
that they also have a hole sir and that the thing that we're worried about going in the woman hole
can go in the guy hole. It fits. Me and Larry tried it out. Me and Larry tried it out. We've been
trying it out a bunch. Holy shit it fits. It really fits. It's so good. It's like a perfect glove
fit. It's like so great. It's like a Cinderella slipper fit. Like it slips in. Like it's made for it.
It's like the OJ glove. Like it fits and this ass don't quit. Like I'm inside. Seriously. I like
it is really it is like a goddamn ring slipped on you. It's like a pamphlet from heaven. Yeah.
It is just like the way it fits. Yeah. It's like you're like maybe it was always supposed to be in
here. Yeah. It's like a charger. Yes. Like it just clicks and fits like a charger.
And we found it. I don't even call it a bottle anymore. I call it a mitt. Yeah. It's a mitt.
So yeah. Just want to let you guys know that that's fine and allowed now.
So he puts up this statement and he thinks alright that'll take care of it. But it had the opposite
effect because all the students are like fucking what there might be riots. It's like putting a red
flag in front of a bowl. They're just like let's go. So a lot of the Notre Dame Catholic students
had grown up hearing just all this shit about the Klan talking shit about them anti-Catholic
calling them non-patriotic call them an un-American because they're Catholic because they because
you know they don't they're like well you like the Pope not the not America like that kind of shit.
Yeah. They think they have allegiance to the Vatican instead of America right. Right. So they're
like well this is the first time we can actually go fucking deal deal with it on the streets. So
Bill Fuhi was a sophomore. Second year second second generation Irish. OK. He wakes up and he
he's on campus and he wakes up and someone's like hey the Klan are burning a cross on school
grounds. So a bunch of his fellow students and him they run out and they're just running around
campus looking for these fuckers burning a flag. But it turns out that was a cross cross. Yeah.
But it turns out that's not happening. They weren't. It was just a rumor. So then rumor. Yeah.
I mean it gets people out of bed. Yeah it sure does. Absolutely. Did you guys hear.
Huh. They're burning a crawl. What. I'm up. Go check everywhere. Let's go. Yeah. You take your
friends and go check everywhere. Oh man. Oh my God. I've been running for like half hour. Where's this
cross. There isn't one. Such a good workout. Come with me and tell others you'll think it's
fun to be on the other side of it. Me and Jerry are going to do the. The mid. I want to try
mid. I want to play mid. You guys are always playing. Mid I'm it. You know I'm talking about.
I'm going to go spread more rumors. That's kind of my deal of this. So it's fully in his
gang. They start seeing other students around campus. Everyone's getting fired up. They're
all talking about people are coming from South Bend now saying the clans all over the place
and they're going to have a parade without a permit. So rebels. The descriptions of the
clans men directing traffic made it seem like they were taking over the police force. They
give us like they're fucking running the town. They're directing traffic. So the students
become angry and angrier at the thought of the client in South Bend and soon they just
fucking take off and they start running. OK. So it's a distance from South Bend to another
neighbor been there. No. I've never run it. I went there to run it. You ran this for this
reason. I was reading this and I was like oh run this. I got to go. I'm going to go run
it. So it's a bit of a distance. It's not like super close. So but runnable. So most
things are runnable. Well that's. I mean in a pinch. Right. Yeah. In a pinch. Adjacent
settings are pretty runnable. So they're running just big mob of students. It's 2000 students.
Are they wearing their robes. The clan. Yeah. Yeah. OK. So some of them have their robes
on and some of them brought them packed up and like they've got them a way to wrap them
and they've got them to sort of like an air mattress. They're getting off the train with
like a little package like that's my robe. Don't want to wrinkle it and then I guess they
made fun of for looking weird. Well yeah you can't sit on a train in a robe because then
it gets all messed up and then people are like why is your butt all wrinkled. I said my robe.
But if they're wearing like if you're about to get your ass kicked. Yeah. You do not want
to be in a like a robe. You don't want to be like wearing the essential like racist wedding
dress version of clothing. It's just like oh shit my legs. Oh God they're beating them where
you can like pull a fucking hood over and be like no it's a terrible idea for fighting a hood
a hood and a row and a rope like how how are they even ever around. You just beat the shit out
I'm so fucking easy. Just grab their robes. I mean they turn their little head and then
they're blind like Chuck E. Cheese. It's like just yank their fucking tail like what's going on.
Who did that. Come on.
So some of the like the guys directing Traveller in in robes. So a lot of them in robes I think
when they get there they start putting the robes on right because you're at an event.
Yeah you want to look sharp. You don't want to not be dressed up. No no you definitely want to
bring your best ghost outfit.
So the students run the entire two miles. Okay. And then the campus. They're brave
starting after the Klan. We don't give a fuck. Now the campus in Notre Dame is now fucking empty
like there's no one left. Everyone went. And when they got there they see cars full of
Klan's been driving in every direction and packs of visitors carrying robes and bundles
after they got off the train. Sure. And they would walk up to the students and ask them
people would pull up in a car and be like where do I park for the thing. And where are the
racists park. And guys we walk down the street and they'd be like hey where do I go and so
the students started sending them down one way alleys. Dynamite. And then the Klan's
would get to the end of the alley and there would be a bunch of Notre Dame students and
they would beat the shit out of them.
Okay. Like it. And then they would take their robes and they have like a trophy robe from
there. Or then you got like undercover robes. It's like an NJ black people. A man there
and they get to have my robe. Then you put another guy in a robe. So they're getting
robes and the Klan's men are like totally like they have come from a place where everyone's
like Klan's the best. So they're like what the fuck is happening right now. This isn't
what we do. So the Klan's men are totally surprised by what's happening. And then they
start kind of getting together and gathering and they're freaked out and they're talking
about what's happening and they're getting into little clumps right.
Clanny clumps?
Clanny clumps. And then in response the students start getting into groups and organizing.
Now this guy I talked about Bill Fuhi the kid before. He's just beaten up a Klan's
men and he comes out of an alley and he's got his trophy robe. He's got it on and he
looks across the street and there's a group of Klan's men. Now do you guys know what a
wedge is in football? Okay so this is something it's not legal in football anymore because
so many people got hurt from it but Notre Dame at the time is a big, huge football school.
No way.
And they ran it. They're literally like. And they ran a thing called the wedge. So it's
a moving football where the players lock themselves together and try to just push through and
bowl everybody over while one guy has the ball and they're all locked together with their
arms and they just you know just like mow everything over in front of them. So it's
yeah it's illegal because it causes so many injuries. So Fuhi walks out of the alley and
he sees a group of Notre Dame students.
No group of Klan's men.
A group of Notre Dame students who have formed a wedge and are just mowing over Klan's men.
Rudy's there.
Hey look it got two. Look it got two at the end of the day.
Wow. Just three stooging their way through Klan's men.
I mean it's so great.
I mean you gotta like how did they still wear the fucking robes.
Well so after they would after.
There's just no upside.
No.
Except identifying each other.
Yeah.
But you could do there's other ways.
Yeah you could you could just put a mark on your like a blue stripe on your head.
Yeah.
Oh you're with us.
Oh cool. Instead they're just like what's gotta be a polyester woolly robe. It'll get
hot.
So and then after they would knock them over other guys would rip their robes off and take
them.
So the clans just get fucking their ass kicked.
Just getting yeah just getting Pac-Man through the park.
And so there's literally like there's there's clansmen that have had their robes ripped
off and they're like topless and they're running for help.
Hey.
To like gas stations.
They took my robes.
They took my robe.
Do you guys sell robes?
But I have to call my wife if you ever pick me up.
Bunch of these dudes ran a wedge and took my robe.
This is what it cost.
There are now there's a bunch of clansmen hiding in a gas station and then the students after
they run the wedge they're like high five and they're not high five but they're congratulating
each other.
Celebrating.
Good wedge.
They jump Gatorade.
I'm one of the guys.
You really brought it home.
You were the key.
So as this all is kicking off the local deputy sheriff whose name is Cully starts to panic.
Because he's a clansman.
And he's been placed.
That's the other disguise.
Yeah.
That's the other outfit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's actually more common today.
I wish I was kidding.
Punisher tattoo.
Have you seen the.
Oh God.
So to be fair they did address my note.
They did.
Okay.
So he he's been placed in charge.
He's a deputy sheriff but he's placed in charge of the of the sheriff's department for the
day.
Because for some reason the county sheriff took this weekend to go on vacation.
Yeah.
It's a weird thing right.
Yeah.
And and and he then I like I said he's a clansman this deputy sheriff.
So he called the governor immediately when this starts happening and he asked the governor
to send in the infantry of the National Guard to protect the clan.
Alrighty.
And the governor's in a super tight spot because he didn't want to be seen favoring Catholics
or clansmen.
Right.
No.
Right.
You don't want to pick a side of history to be on.
No.
God forbid.
And it's hard to choose between Catholics and clansmen.
Hang in the middle with some ambivalence.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the play.
Because the clansmen hate people.
But the Catholics are little and they run up walls.
Right.
So you can't catch them no matter what anyone says.
That's what I'm talking about.
It's hard.
They're greased.
I think they grease each other up.
I think they do grease each other up.
I think they grease.
And so then there's.
The taggy's up the wall.
Shit.
They go in the vents right away, don't they?
And so the police department are not clansmen.
And the students all thought the police department's on their side because most of the police department's
Catholic, including Larry, when they were running to town, when they were running doing
that two mile sprint, they were chanting, let's help Larry out.
So they think that they're all in business with the police department.
So by 11.30 a.m., it's still morning.
11.30.
This has got like a St. Patrick's Day start time.
We'll meet at 8.45.
I'll do it.
Get it.
You go.
So he's good at opening a beer.
This guy, he's no joke.
No skills.
I got him.
So at 11.30, the South Bend Tribune reported that, quote, not a clansman could be seen
in the business district.
So they've driven all these fucking guys out of this area.
You okay?
Everything's fine.
Students are running the show, right?
The beaten clansmen are in full retreat, in which he encourages the students more.
Yeah.
The students held a spurt.
Try to grab their robes.
Think of a robe.
Toothless.
Think of a robe for the road.
So at this point, the students have taken so many robes.
It's just, it really is just like, it's such a dumb outfit, but that matters so much to
them, so it's like, take their outfits.
Fuck them, take their outfits.
They've gotten so many robes that they hold a spur-of-the-moment parade.
Oh, man.
Permitted?
No.
Pure rogue, man, rogue parade.
And the clansmen cannot wrap their heads around what the fuck is going on.
They're like, this is not how we're treated, we're the Klan.
Two hours ago, I was directing parking for a parade.
People like us.
Now I'm bottomless.
So some clansmen go to meet with police chief Larry and mayor Siebert.
And again, they're like, can we get a parade permit, please?
And the mayor and Larry are like, no, no, we're not doing that.
And then the clans started to realize that not only were they not really welcome in South
Bend, but maybe for the first time in Indiana, they were not going to get special treatment
from the law authorities.
Okay.
It's a fair place to applaud.
And the students then start marching toward the South Bend clans headquarters, which are
on Michigan and Wayne streets.
And that's where a lot of the clansmen have run to find safety.
Help.
Help us from the students.
Do you have ropes?
We're broken.
So the red bulb electric fiery cross thing is up in the window kicking it.
It's on the third floor.
That's quite a hike.
Now the bottom of the building is a grocery store.
So they're just like, it's fine, the clay cross, whatever.
Do you want pineapple?
Now as the students got close, four cops rode up on horseback and broke up the group
of students, scattering them everywhere.
And then they just rode off and the students formed up in a mob again.
They're like, yeah, we kind of did that, we kind of stopped that, whatever.
Good detective work, by the way.
And outside the grocery store was a large barrel of potatoes.
Oh boy, what?
Love this detail.
The fact that that matters, I love.
The first potato throne shattered the glass.
The first potato throne shattered the glass of the third floor window of the clan's headquarters.
Oh my God.
They're like, what is happening?
It's the goddamn Irish.
I told you.
I told you don't trust those micks.
You left weapons outside.
The most versatile fruit in all the land.
You can eat it.
You can kill a man with it.
You can stop the clan.
So more potatoes fly and they start hitting the clan cross that's lit with the red bulbs.
I mean, are they going to potato out across?
Each potato took out a bulb and the bulb would pop and send a shower of sparks flying.
So it's like the natural with potatoes?
And every time I would pop, they would all cheer.
That's why a clan would peep out and look and then just a fucking mass of potatoes would
come flying at him and he goes scurrying back inside and after a while there was just one
bulb lit on the cross and it's the one at the very top and potato after potato is being
thrown but they just keep coming up short.
No one can hit this fucking last red bulb.
Sure.
This is going on forever.
They have been throwing potatoes now for an hour.
And this is how... What is it, a bottomless bucket of potatoes?
I also have a feeling that some of them might have brought potatoes because when I was reading
earlier, I didn't include a part, but a Klansman had come to give a speech in South Bend earlier,
like a year earlier, and they were talking about bringing potatoes to throw at him then.
So I think it's a thing.
That makes more sense because without context, that sounds crazy.
Good thing I brought four potatoes.
Huh?
I have a bunch of potatoes in my trousers.
What kind of meeting is it?
Is it three, three potato, four potato meeting?
What kind of meeting?
We're going to make one potato, two potato, three potato, four.
If it gets crazy, we'll go five potato, six potato.
Four?
Maybe if we get past seven and eight potato, yeah, we might go more.
We could go more.
So this one red bulb is just mocking them, right?
And then someone in the crowd yelled... It's Rudolph.
And then someone in the crowd yelled, Harry!
Harry Stutterer was coming through the mob.
Harry Stutterer?
Harry Stutterer.
So the whole mob starts to part, right?
And through walks, Notre Dame's starting quarterback.
Dave, are you testing a movie you wrote out?
And he walks through and someone hands him a potato.
What?
And he stands there and he looks up and he eyes the light and then the whole street goes
deadly quiet.
Well, because it's a home game.
And then Harry rears back and throws that fucking potato, makes a perfect arc and the
bulb explodes into sparks.
Blue 18, blue 18.
And the students go fucking nuts.
Same reaction as if he had thrown a winning touchdown against Michigan, like they're going
apeshit.
I'm impressed.
Oh, so there were two, sorry, there's two empty potato barrels now, a ruined clan cross,
and then Bill Foohey, the kid, looks around, still not a cop anywhere in sight.
No one.
No one would come as the students threw potatoes for the whole hour.
So at this point, if you're a student, you're like, I think we can do anything.
That, that is exactly correct.
So a hundred students charge the building and they're going to invade it and take over
the headquarters.
I mean, I don't know what they're drunk on, but it's something.
Potatoes.
Yeah.
I got that sweet vodka high.
I mean, it's literally like they, all these kids have grown up hearing everyone talk shit
about Catholics in America since they were fucking kids and lying about them.
So like this is their chance to punch that right rhetoric in the face, literally, literally.
So they bash their way through the door and they run up the stairs and Bill Foohey is
right in front.
He's in the front of the group and he gets to the top of the stairs and a man he described
as quote wild eyed jumped out and jammed a pistol right in his chest.
But Foohey put his arms up.
You're supposed to do that.
Yeah.
That's like the reflex.
He's worried the mob is going to push him forward.
He's going to get shot, but the mob doesn't push.
And the Klansman said quote, I am Reverend Jack Horton of the Calvary Baptist Church.
I'm like, you're not good at your job.
So you know where, where we're at.
You're not, you're bad, you're very bad at it.
And he said, I demand you leave this building immediately.
And Foohey was like, yeah, that's good, okay.
And he just starts backing down the stairs with his hands in the air.
So the students get out, they get back on the street and they all gather and they, and
they start trying to figure out what to do.
They're huddling for sure at this point.
Obviously this is a huddle.
What about another wedge?
What about another wedge?
No, no, no.
That's too predictable.
Come on, guys.
What if we run the double back nine to one?
Oh, that's crazy.
We never, that'll never work.
Coach even said he only ran it for fun, hey, I got faith in each and every one of you bastards.
We've been through hell today because we're warriors.
We're as strong as our weakest link.
Now let's go out there and beat the fucking clan.
Break on four.
Ready?
Break!
That was fun for me.
I know.
I was going to say, that was more fun for you than anyone in this building.
That's my dream.
My dream.
This self-indulgent thing you've ever done.
My dream.
Come on, guys.
We're running a zebra-wide split.
Two, nine, four.
Go on five.
Banana routes.
Banana routes.
Move!
My dream.
So the students decide what to do.
Four seniors wave a white flag.
And they go up.
Our robe?
We've got your colors.
I think they have our robes.
They might have just been washing them.
And they go up.
Those four students go up to meet with the clan.
And they are there for an hour.
And after an hour, one of the students pops his head out the window and says that they
have struck a deal with the clan.
What?
I mean, what a day.
What a run.
Quote.
They woke up not knowing about the clan and they've just struck a deal with them.
Quote, we will let them parade if they are not in their robes and if they leave their
revolvers behind, the mob down on the street agreed.
Okay.
It's now 2 p.m.
She's early still.
So this is when the two Notre Dame priests who had previously met with Chief Larry go
back again to meet Chief Larry.
And they told him the streets in the town were blocked and windows were being smashed
to which Larry said, boys will be boys.
There we go.
And then Van Halen started playing.
Chief Larry seemed to have convinced himself that this would be no big deal.
Chief Larry sounds like he's got a bit of a denial issue.
The priests were completely shocked and they left.
Meanwhile, the clan was gathering at Island Park where their rally was supposed to start.
Starts to rain a little bit.
There were around 2,000 clansmen, so the same number of students.
Hooded robed guards are at every entrance to the park.
You had to have a clan membership card or a password to enter.
I can only imagine.
Goblin.
Excuse me.
What did you say password was?
Goblin.
I forgot what it was, so I'm letting anyone come in.
It's goblin.
Yeah, all right.
You're not good at this.
Put your god damn hood down.
I wanted to dance.
Go ahead, sorry.
What did you say?
Just go ahead.
It doesn't matter anyway.
Nobody cares about the dancer.
Hey, this ain't time for feelings.
We're here to hate people.
I know and I do.
I just have dreams that are unfulfilled.
All right.
Well, I feel like this might not be the time.
Well, it's never the time according to anyone here.
It doesn't matter if you know what you're doing.
Anyway, go ahead.
Have fun.
I'll just be sitting here pining for tap.
Now somehow one Notre Dame student managed to sneak into the park.
Okay.
You just got to walk in there and be like, man, I hate him.
I hate him.
Excuse me.
I hate him.
They're like, well, you don't need password.
He's on team right.
A Klansman saw him, pulled out his gun and shot.
He missed and the student ran off and when he made it back to his friends on the street,
one pointed out that he had a powder burn on his sleeve, got shot through the sleeve.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
That hurts.
Stings.
When I got a new shirt.
Shirt pulled through.
Could he wear it again?
He knows.
The Notre Dame students gathered at Holy and Mike's pool hall.
One of the seniors who had negotiated the deal got on a chair, quote, we will not molest
them unless they violate the terms of the agreement.
Get down for a minute.
No fingering the Klans.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's talk rules.
We said.
Hey, let's talk about the rules.
Hold on.
We said.
We said no parade and if you don't do the parade, we're not going to finger you.
Get down.
Get down off the school.
You won't finger you or tongue or ass or whatever, like all that stuff.
There's like nine other things we talked about.
The stuff we do on campus.
We said you could end with that because you wouldn't shut up about it.
What?
We said you could end with that because you wouldn't shut up about it, but there was other
rules that were more important than not molesting the Klan.
There's like eight other rules.
You're not even going through any.
You just said the one.
Nobody's going to molest the Klan.
If you, their buttholes are different.
No.
Than a normal person.
Yeah.
They're on their face.
So, or unless the police request our aid, if the police request our aid, we will respond
2000 strong meet at Jefferson Boulevard bridge at 6 30.
That's the start time of their parade will be in position to help the police.
If they ask Bill Fooley was there, he's like, yeah, this sounds good, but the police are
never going to fucking act like the cops.
He'd be like, come on, students, we need your help.
All right.
We need backup and front up all the ups, all the students back and front.
So now this is when DC Stevenson rolls into South Bend and he is like, what the fuck?
This isn't very racist.
So he's taken to Island Park and he sees the Klansmen are all huddled together in the middle
of the park and they're surrounded by mounted cops who are all facing inward, meaning they're
watching them, not protecting them.
And so the Klansmen all look bummed out and he's like, what, you guys, not the day they're
expecting it all, right, and DC is fucking furious.
And then he looks up and the students are all gathered on the bridge overlooking the
park.
It looked like they were definitely not going to allow a parade the way they were behaving.
And Stevenson yelled that he wanted to see the police chief or the mayor just yelled
it out.
And then one of his little Klansmenians ran off to make it happen.
Absolutely.
Good to see you.
A reporter walked by and Stevenson grabbed him, hey, give me the mayor quote, the city
and county officials have utterly failed to protect the law abiding Klansmen in South
Bend.
Is there a harder group to victimize like self victimization of the Klan you're like,
buddy, you're lucky you're alive.
Yeah.
All the time.
Like every minute you should be like, whoa, yeah, that's lucky they let me get away with
this attitude.
I don't know what they're thinking.
And he said to the reporter, the American flag is being trampled upon in the streets
of South Bend.
The reporter asked Stevenson if he would have a parade.
And Stevenson pointed at the cloudy skies and a little bit of drizzle that was following
and he said, quote, I am canceling the parade because of the weather.
Not because everyone got their ass kicked and we look stupid.
No, no, no, no.
It's drizzling and my boys don't have their warm, comfy, snuggie robes.
They will catch their death.
We did not bring our waterproofs.
We did not bring ponchos.
We did not bring backups.
So he said, mark my words, though, we will at some future date have a parade in South
Bend and if necessary, we will call in the US Army for protection, which I don't.
Does that work?
I don't think that works.
And we'd like the army.
So the army, yes, it's the Klan, yeah, we would like to march and scream about blacks
and Catholics and immigrants and wonder if we could get a little bit of help.
Sorry, can you hang up?
We're trying to make another call.
So the little Klan minion guy had gotten Chief Larry and Chief Larry pulls up in a car and
he walks over to Stevenson and he asks, are you going to have a parade?
And Stevenson said, quote, what do you intend to do about the hooligans who have accosted
us today?
And Chief Larry says, are you going to have a parade?
And Stevenson said, well, it's canceled because of rain.
Rain, though.
Rain.
Rain.
And then Stevenson asked about the students, what about them?
They're closing down city streets, knocking old ladies to the ground.
I saw them turning over a baby carriage, he's fucking right, right in, of course the reporter
sitting there and the chief just said, thank you, and then walked away.
But they said, as he walked away, he was muttering, no parade, no parade, no, like Chief Larry's
not all there.
Chief Rain Man.
No parade, no parade, no parade, no parade, no parade, no parade, no parade, no parade,
no parade.
It'd be crazy time for everyone to have a parade.
And then the police chief just drives off and drives past the students and doesn't fucking
do anything.
So Stevenson's like, furious.
He's upset that the chief showed him no respect, the fucking top clansman, the imperial.
Dragon dingo wizard, man, because, yeah.
Top goblin.
Yeah.
Number one gob.
He's fucking livid, and then also that the students have beaten up his sweet, sweet clansman.
And then it starts pouring rain, it's 3.30, by 6 p.m. it's just total deluge of fucking
rain.
It's crazy.
And the clan is done.
They start getting into their cars and they're getting on trains and buses and they're starting
to leave South Bend.
They're like, this was not what we were thinking.
We were thinking so much.
Come to your family and say that the parade got rained out.
Yeah.
How was your game, hon?
Didn't get to play.
Refters a bunch of dicks anyway.
I know.
I know you really wanted to hate someone today.
I still hated them, but there's a bunch of people not happy about it.
I won't talk about it, but got rained out.
Reason we stopped because it rained.
Okay.
You want some chocolate milk?
Yeah.
Not vanilla?
No, I want chocolate.
Okay, race trader.
Don't tell anyone I like that kind.
But the Notre Dame students weren't done.
So they set up a roadblock on the bridge that the Clansmen had to drive through.
And they started inspecting cars for Clansmen.
Hey, can we check your car out?
I mean, they're students.
Like eight hours ago, nobody's.
Can we check your car?
Can we see the permits, guys?
Can we see all your paperwork?
Thank you.
You been drinking the night, sir?
Sir, you been drinking the night?
Thank you very much, guys.
Alrighty.
They're just waiting for someone to say no.
Well, they're inspecting for Clansmen.
One car was full of Clansmen, so they smashed the windshield.
You are Clansmen?
Okay.
Get the bats, boys.
The fender on another car was kicked in.
One Clansman got mouthy and was dragged out of his car and beaten until the cops came
and saved him.
Oh, mouthy.
A car full of Clansmen musicians came through.
Oh, my God.
Hi, where are the Klan tones?
We got a gig tonight at seven.
Yeah.
The students grabbed their instruments and destroyed them.
Hey.
Foo, he said the trombone flattened like paper under his foot.
And then Clansmen, who was guarded by an Indiana State trooper, approached and walked through
the pack and told the students they would get theirs, but the students didn't give
two shits.
They didn't celebrate and having a good time.
And then a street car full of cheering students passed by, everyone's having a fucking great
time, although most of the Clansmen have left now, although one Clansman did attack a student
with a baseball bat, and a student deputy chased him and another guy, and he chased him
onto a street car, and the Clansmen pulled out a gun, and the deputy disarmed him and
arrested him, and then he looked at the other Clansmen that was with him, and that guy started
crying, and he told the police he didn't have a weapon, and they just wanted to go home
to get away from the students.
Wait, so we literally talked about that guy like four minutes ago.
I'm sorry.
Just want to go home.
Yeah, it's like that dude who ended up in the Tiki torch march, the guy who was like
on all the newspapers, he was like, I didn't know I'd be featured, it's like, buddy, who
do you want an apology from?
You ain't getting it.
Well, that's when the Clansmen with their hoods are like, amateur.
Only eight students were arrested, three for assault, two for swearing.
That's a lot of swearing.
I would like to laugh at that, but I was arrested for swearing at a cop in college.
What did you say to the cop?
I said, what are you, a fucking idiot?
Turns out I've always been like this.
And he arrested you?
Yeah, he was a fucking idiot, too.
And then another one was arrested for pulling down a streetcar pole to stop the streetcar.
That's fun.
But the claim was gone.
Call him, return to South Bend, the students return to campus, many with their trophy robes.
Now I'm going to take in a KKK banner and they ran it up the Notre Dame flagpole.
You got to be careful with your irony expression at some point.
Fine line, really, from how funny is that?
Screw him, right?
Yeah, but...
And even though Notre Dame had very strict priests, none of them did a thing on that
day.
In town, people are not as happy with what went down.
Deputy Sheriff Coley was embarrassed that the kids had taken over South Bend.
So he deputized 30 local clansmen.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I kind of was feeling good for a minute.
The next day, in most of the papers, the Catholic students were portrayed as crazy potato throwing
mob.
Which was just happy that no one had been seriously hurt or killed.
Monday came, students went back to class, still pretty pleased with themselves that
they'd beaten up the clan.
Chief Larry, not having a good time, he thought that Catholic locals would be happy with him
letting the students have it go at the clan.
Turns out they weren't because a lot of the property was damaged.
Everyone thought Chief Larry had blown it by letting the students get into a mob and
run the city.
So Larry's embarrassed and he's angry that Notre Dame students were letting him down
because he thought they would be a good mob.
Right.
You are not the riot I thought you would be.
Larry's not the sharpest.
That evening, Deputy Sheriff Coley called Larry and told him to bring his men to clan headquarters
at 9 p.m.
He said there would be more trouble from the students.
Chief Larry called in some off-duty guys and he showed up at 9 p.m.
But it was very quiet, the streets were empty.
And then the clan raised up their now repaired electric red light bulb covered cross.
And lit that baby up.
And then a few minutes later, they heard the sound of a group approaching on foot.
There were so many feet it sounded like hooves on the street.
Chief Larry made sure his men were ready and then 500 or so students appeared running toward
clan headquarters.
Oh shit.
But this time it was different because as they arrived, the clansmen started casually
walking out and lining up on the street.
They didn't have robes on, instead they had tied a white handkerchief around their arm.
Which we know is a bad sign if you recall.
Yeah.
It's a way to identify another person in a fight.
But they're on your side.
Right.
Now the two groups are about equal in size.
And the students had no idea 30 of the clansmen were now deputies.
And then the first potato flew.
No, wait, what, what, what?
Boys, launch the potato!
No.
It missed its target and landed sadly against the brick wall and all the students laughed.
And then Chief Larry yelled, quote, all right boys, let's show them who's running this town.
And he and his men came out of the darkness from behind the students and attacked them.
Swinging their clubs, hitting them over the head and in the ribs.
And the students are shocked.
Just like the clansmen were shocked before.
I'm like, what?
You're the, you're our cops.
And then the clansmen attacked.
They started throwing rocks and bottles into the mob.
A policeman was hit in the face by a rock and collapsed, his jaw broken.
And then a bottle flew back out of the crowd and hit a clansman in the face, splitting
his face open.
And then, I agree, that is a yay situation.
And then, so everyone's just, it's just a mob of people swinging and hitting each other.
It's like that scene in the football game from the wanderers.
It's just madness.
You ever seen it?
That guy did.
It's one of the best, it's one of the best fight scenes in a movie.
Well, that was unnecessary.
Look, you're, you're the guy who clapped for you just dropped everything.
Yeah.
I put it all on my lap to applaud.
Clang, clang, clang.
So everyone's just going crazy and all of a sudden Chief Larry's like, oh, this is actually
a bad idea.
And he starts beating his way out of the crowd with his club.
And then he gets out of the back of the mob and he sees two of his men arresting a clansman.
And the clansman was screaming, you can't arrest me, I'm a special deputy.
And the cops then told Larry that he had just shot a student and they dragged him off.
So now the brawl is total chaos, fist swinging, bottles flying, rocks flying, neither side's
backing down.
They're both holding their own.
And Larry realized this maybe was a really bad idea.
So he runs back to the stage.
Is Larry a dinosaur?
His reaction time is so delayed.
Yeah, he's not the brightest.
I think this might have been stupid.
Hi, I'm Larry.
So he runs back to the station and he calls local law enforcement around the area to ask
for help from them to send men.
Hey, it's Larry.
Hi.
I'm bad.
I...
So bad at this.
Yeah, I did a bad thing.
Really not good at this at all.
Anyway, people are being shot.
So and then he calls Walsh at Notre Dame and says, can you get down here?
So a few of the Notre Dame students start to break away from the melee and they run to
the courthouse three blocks away and then they start regrouping, trying to figure out
what they're going to do if they're going to attack or end it.
A lot of them want to keep on fighting, like Bill Fuhi.
He's like, let's go fucking kill these guys and then Walsh and another priest arrived.
Now Matthew Walsh had spent time in World War I and he knew that he, sensing how angry
the students were and how injured they were and bloody and he knew if they went back that
people would literally die.
Like he was like, this feels like what you see in war.
So he climbed onto a cannon on a war monument, very fitting, and he gave a speech.
Now Walsh was a guy who never said anything, he was known for being very stoic.
So to hear him give a long speech to these students was like, what the fuck?
So he geese this really long speech and basically talks them out of fighting and walks them
all back to campus.
Okay.
So the next day the mayor held two meetings, one with the Klan and the other with prominent
Catholics in the community and both groups are pissed at the students.
Walsh listened to everyone, Walsh was there, he listened to them.
Did he have a card that said, listen?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Walsh listened to everyone, blame the students, he expected it from everyone, this is what
he was expecting to happen, except for Chief Larry, who jumped in and acted as if he had
not let the riots happen or that he had not blown off the concerns of the Notre Dame priests.
Larry saw an opportunity to clear his name and he shit all over the students.
Well, Larry, you are not the hero of this tale.
No.
Now back at the school football legend, Newt Rockney gave a speech to the students and
he told the students to follow Walsh's lead and that they would be okay and they cheered.
And then the priests had the students take a no riot oath.
Wow.
Okay.
I've probably written a little hastily, it's going to be similar to a lot of the other
oaths, we're going to replace by two words.
This is the same as the jerk off one.
Hey.
Just put your hand up.
I got to tell you, that one, that no jerk off one is not taken.
We've noticed.
We've noticed.
The janitorial staff has noticed.
Do you know about buttholes?
We're going to do two oaths.
The press attacked the Notre Dame students as out of control.
The clan paper, the fiery cross, just 25 cents a month, they wrote a story titled the truth
about the Notre Dame riot and put it out as a booklet.
It said the students tore the American flag to shreds and trampled on it.
They hate America.
Yeah.
Clearly.
A month's walls received letters attacking the school.
One Klansman wrote, quote, you can thank your lucky stars that you have your buildings
intact for if the nights of the Ku Klux Klan assembled in South Bend last Saturday had
been as lawless as your bunch of anarchist students, they would have wiped the Notre
Dame buildings off the earth.
Wow.
And he called the students roughnecks, hoodlums, and mackerel snapping anarchists.
I would like to be a mackerel snapping anarchist.
It was signed a kluxer.
Despite what the students have done, despite their defying Walsh, Walsh never disciplined
a single student for being part of the riot and attacking the Klansman, which says a lot.
The next school year, the fiery cross announced it would hold another rally on October 18th
with the purpose of getting revenge.
They planned to try to get 200,000 Klansmen from many states.
Walsh held meetings with city authorities, but he no longer trusted any of them, particularly
Chief Larry.
In a letter to another priest, he wrote, quote, the paliver of our doughy chief is nauseating.
Oh, that still holds.
Walsh convinced the Klan not to hold the rally, though, because it might hurt the vote.
That's why you don't hold a hate rally.
My fuck up the vote.
Oh, things have changed.
The Klan announced it had to be called off because they had received intelligence that
Catholic gunmen were prepared to attack.
The Klan has never received intelligence.
But it worked.
The Klan killed in the elections.
The Klansman named Ed Jackson was elected governor of Indiana.
Next year, as D.C.
Stevenson went down for rape and murder, the Klan in Indiana collapsed.
That same year, Walsh officially made the Notre Dame mascot the Fighting Irish.
In 1928, Hoover ran against Catholic Democrat Albert
Smith for president.
Anti-Catholic articles were written in thinking men's magazines like the Atlantic Monthly.
And a fake letter was widely published in papers in which the Pope promised to send
Alfred Smith his toenail clippings to be used as sacred relics.
Wait, sorry.
I'm going to read that again.
Yeah, yeah.
A fake letter was widely published in papers in which the Pope promised to send Alfred
Smith his toenail clippings to be used as sacred relics.
Many believed it.
Yeah, for sure.
But no, fake news is new.
Hoover crushed Smith and the Klan took credit.
Walsh went on a building spree at Notre Dame, making enough dorms so no student would have
to live in South Bend again.
He even built a dining hall so they wouldn't have to step foot in South Bend to eat.
In 1933, Notre Dame had 2,545 students, only 20 lived off campus.
The Klan collapsed nationwide, only about 45,000 were around by 1930.
The depression didn't help with the $10 initiation fee.
Yeah, it's hard.
It's hard.
Hate is hard.
Hate is expensive.
It's like a Six Flags.
The home that they had bought for the Imperial Wizard was sold off first to an insurance company,
and then in 1939, the Archdiocese of Atlanta bought it, and the rank and file clansmen were
furious.
That's our wizard house!
Why don't you guys buy it back?
God damn it, we don't have any money.
We spent it all on hate.
Well, good luck the door.
Have a good night.
By 1942, there were only 10,000 clansmen.
At that point, they were being investigated because we were fighting the Nazis, so they're
like, what's your guys' deal?
No, we are a very clear group without a plan.
We want to be clear.
We're parades.
We're paracists.
That's how we operate, and we don't have a follow-through at all.
So we can't even, I mean, we don't get permits for a lot of these things.
We're not good at much, and Nazis seem to get a lot of stuff done.
We will not do that.
I call them sh- I call them sh-tler.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
Love to meet them.
Yeah, I would, too.
Love to meet them.
In 1944, the Imperial Wizard got a bill from the IRS.
What is that?
I mean, in what world is a wizard stressed about the IRS?
Oh, damn it, damn it.
I didn't get my 10.99, but I bugger all the hell.
I wish there was some sorcery that would do my taxes.
What's wrong with the wizard?
He's being audited.
It's tough, it's tough, it's tough to hear.
I haven't kept any of my write-offs.
You can see here, I spent $600 on spells.
Sure, yes.
And I bought two wands.
These are just numbers on paper.
I'm going to need to see some actual receipts.
I see you, I still see you.
I see you through the smoke.
Hey.
This door is shut.
Hi.
Hey.
So anyway, I'm going to need to see some receipts or something.
Yeah, it's just not.
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, just get some receipts.
OK.
Should we start again?
No, we're fine here.
OK.
So when he got the bill for $685,000 in back taxes,
he decided to fold up the clan.
He disbanded the clan and revoked
the charter of every clever in the US.
He said, quote, the clan is dead.
The whole thing is washed up.
But the clan came back.
But now it's just an embarrassing shell of what it was.
After running, now it's just a bunch,
like you hear about a clan rally, it's like eight guys.
You're like, wow, how many times did your family fuck each other?
Like now they have their hoods, so you're like, oh, jeez.
Keep the hood.
No, put the hood on.
Put the hood on.
We want your dress.
We want your dress.
Holy fuck, that guy had three eyes.
It's technically an advantage, sir.
One of them has teeth in it.
That's right.
After running the Notre Dame for six years,
Matthew Walsh returned to teaching history,
which was his first love.
He retired in 1947.
He would never talk about the Notre Dame fights
or the controversies in front of any outsiders.
What a badass, huh?
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a good one.
The clan lost.
I mean, now they have the presidency, which is weird.
Now the president's one of them.
So that's kind of not a great ending, but we didn't go there.
No.
No, we don't need to hear about the rest of it.
It is very similar, obviously, to what just happened after the shooting
with the students, like where you hear, like,
in the whole idea that they're too little to understand.
It's like, no, there's something about just.
Well, historically, change comes from what the Black Panthers are young.
The change comes from, it's not old people.
No, the old people are trying to run the clock out.
Oh, fuck, I have a soccer game to go to for my kids.
What are you guys doing, a revolution?
No, they're just.
You're in a revolution?
Yeah, you know what, I have a hemorrhoid operation coming up, but.
I'm getting one put on.
I think it's like a beauty mark.
But you guys, you know, good luck with your revolution.
I'm old.
But yeah, no, it's like when you, yeah, when you, like.
Yeah, those kids are going to change things.
Yeah.
And it's because, and it, it truly is like, it's, it's obvious why for a number of reasons,
but mortality rate among them.
It's like all these shit heels who are like, you're too little to do it.
It's like, buddy, you are on the way out ski, like this is not, this is not going to be
a good legacy.
No, no, it's going to be a bad thing.
We didn't use our special effect.
Well, yeah.
Next show.
Next show.
Can we do it next show?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll remember to do it next show.
I was ready to pull the trigger.
We have a mist that's going to come out at a weird time.
We forgot to.
We were going to do a fog.
And I told Dave, you know, when it's fog time, say the word, Dave apparently was focused
on history.
If any of you are young enough to hang around for the next show, I know a lot of you got
to be in bed spicy.
I'm going to be in bed.
He's just going to do it alone.
It's going to be real weird.
Not good.
I look forward to seeing you guys there.
Thank you guys very much for coming out.
We really appreciate it, truly.
Yeah.
Hopefully, we'll see some of you guys in the next show.
If not, we'll be back.
Thank you for beating the clan up.