The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 334 - Andrew Jackson

Episode Date: July 3, 2018

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine President Andrew Jackson. SOURCESTOUR INFO MERCH BY JAMES FOSDIKE

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listening to the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History Podcast. Each week I boat rider. When were you on a boat last? Carrot Eater. What is going on already? Bathroom rug owner Dave Anthony. Oh my god. Reads a story from American history to his friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. You know what's funny is I remember. I was on a boat maybe like three months ago. I don't know if that's an active thing. I remember one time when we did a live show and afterwards we went and we got a bite with a buddy of yours and we were talking about the bit where you say all

the things and I was like it had a good run and I was being genuine. I was like we had a good run with it. That was a year ago and you were just looking at me like not you know not going like yeah I think it's almost over. You were definitely like silent just sort of being like yeah all right. Remote control user. Yeah. And called it quote his jam pads. Jam pads. I'm the fucking hippo guy. Dave okay. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Wait. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come particularly quite good. Oh yeah. This is like an out of five part coefficient. My room's a place. Now hit him with a puppy. You both present sick arguments. No sleep down hippo. That's like a hippo. Action part. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend. No. No. Ronda. Ronda in the car. Thanks for bathing today. What's your deal. I'm just not used to it. Why do you have this. Why do you perpetuate these

rumors. I'm very clean. 1765. Okay. You're like a town crier now. It'll lean back. Yeah you're deep off my back. Respectful of the ears of the listeners. You're deep off Mike. What's your deal. Andrew and Elizabeth Jackson arrived from Ireland in America into America. Oh country of America. They're very poor. Very poor. This will never go poorly. Oh shit. We left the potatoes. They lived in Waxhaw settlement named after the Waxhaw tribe. Sure. The settlement was along the North and South North South Carolina border kind of right there straddles that bad boy. Okay. After two years though Andrew died. Well he tried to lift up a log and he hurt himself and he got sick. He died from lifting up a log. I mean we really are in charm times. If you lifting up a log which is something you had to do. Yeah you had to lift up a log. Potentially. No you do. Everyone had to unless you're rich you had to lift up the log. There was no one not lifting logs. Man. Yeah

that was it. At the funeral his neighbors got someone a pallbear and like my back. You'll see. Oh no. At the funeral his neighbors got shitfaced and put his coffin on a mule drawn sled. Sure. Sure. And when the sled arrived at the cemetery everyone realized the coffin was gone so they had to retrace their sled steps. So the wild sledding didn't get the body there. No the coffin snagged on a branch of a tree and they had to. Well Dave I mean certainly crazy that branches were involved. I'm just saying. Yeah. I'm just saying sometimes my Irish people are stereotypical. Yeah. Yeah. Elizabeth and the boys. That's a lot of wishful thinking. So there are two boys right. Elizabeth and the boys moved in with her sister and brother-in-law in under a month on March 15th 1767 Andrew Jackson was born. Oh no. Oh boy. You know that name. Yeah old old old Cherokee. Yeah sure. What is he? Definitely not old Cherokee. No he's old no. Yeah. 100% not old Cherokee. Yeah. Angry at Cherokee. He lived with

his old hickory. Old hickory. Yeah. That's it. He lived with his mom and an uncle. Loser. Yeah. That's right. How old is he. Right now he's a baby. Loser. OK. I don't know why. Come on. Get out of the house you loser. Just got born. Get a job you dumbass. Jesus come on old Cherokee. He lived with his mom his aunt uncle for the first 10 to 12 years of his life. His aunt Jane was an invalid. So Andrew's mom took care of all the kids. She had three and I just started eight. She took care of 11 kids. Jesus. Which is lots. I would just say why didn't the log take me. Yeah. That's when you start lifting that. That's why you try to kill yourself by throwing a few logs around the back of a log and go please take me. Harry Lord. Come on log God Lord. And it was said to always be doing pranks and getting in trouble. OK prankster. Yeah. A slave on the farm said Andrew was treated for a disease. She called the big itch. What is. That's all we got. Oh boy. Quote there is two itches the big itch and the little

itch the little itch ain't nothing to the big itch the big itch breaks out all you over and do frighten a body powerful. So he's got like an a full body rash. Yeah I sound like you had a bad one like a like a bleeding scratching guy. Sure. Right. It was also reported that Andrew suffered from an unknown disease that caused quote slobbering. OK. Wait are we sure that he's not some sort of like wild shaved dog. That's him. That's that's maybe some rash stuff like that's our boy. OK. So he's so he's pink with a rash and slobbering. Yeah that's our boy slobbering and playing pranks. Yeah. Who puts a ran wrap over the outhouse. It's slobbering and I don't know if that's slobbering. So itchy. What is it. It's me. Oh Hickory. Not yet. Young Hickory. Right now you're slobbering Andy. Regular Hickory. He became a bully. OK. He was described as quote self willed somewhat overbearing easily offended very inaccessible and upon the whole difficult to get along with. OK. So we have an enormous newborn gerbil skin tone

slobbering who's tough to be around. Super hot right. Yeah. It's a good vibe. He also enjoyed slobbering and was known often to say by God which I guess was a swear word. But come on. Yeah. Come on. I think we say worse. He also wasn't very interested in. He wasn't interested in school or reading. OK. Finally I'm understanding. Yeah. Now I get this guy. Inside the head of this guy. 100 percent. As her sons grew Elizabeth taught them to fear and hate Native Americans. Good. Good start. So you do that. Yeah. At the time they were roving bands of Native Americans who attacked whites. So all the kids were taught to always be aware to notice unusual movements in the forest and other fun child survival tactics. Right. Yeah. That's fun for a kid. Yeah. And if you didn't then you get get killed. Yeah. Well you know which is fine. Yeah. Well that's what happens when you discover land that was already discovered. Someone already lives there. Yeah. That'll

happen. Well well well this will be lovely. Move you. Crack. Yeah. When Andrew was 12 his older brother went to fight in the Revolutionary War. That's the one against the British. If you don't know that's where we tossed your people out. Listen we're not willing. This is kind of a will we won't we sort of deal. We kind of have we have a real. Pick a side. It's all I'm saying. We have a real will they won't they pick a real Ross Rachel. Pick a side. I've picked both sides. And I'll tell you what I'm glad to have a back burner. He died after a battle of heat and fatigue. So he fought in a battle afterwards. I'm hot. And then I was in the battle of the sun. Yeah. They probably forgot the stuff called water. Yeah. Right. Well they had made or something. So the Jackson's were wigs and supported American independence on May twenty nine seventeen eighty three hundred militia on horseback attacked the wax house settlement. Okay. They killed one hundred and thirteen people and wounded one hundred and fifty. Robert and

Andrew helped their mother treat the wounded soldiers. Okay. Nice. Was he still slobbering at that point. I don't know if he was slobbering anymore. I know he was because if he still got like a hooch mouth then I don't know if you want him over some sort of open wound or I would imagine when he got nervous he itched. So it's well it's not what you want from the guy who's got sutures. No it's not. Like five five stitches. The settlement was attacked twice more that year and his family would move north when the attacks happened. Both boys wanted to enlist but they were too young to fight. So they served as scouts and couriers. Okay. Andrew and his brother were captured by the British and taken to a prison camp in South Carolina. Okay. Their wounds were not treated because they got hit in the head and stuff when they were getting captured. Okay. The food because they got captured kind of for mouth and off. They were being like jerk off. Yeah. The food

was that's it off to jail. So they the British had like jails around. Well I think it's just like a it's probably I would imagine a fence right with dudes inside. Oh yeah. And you'll ring you reunite the families eventually. Yeah. Yeah. The food was bad. And there was not much. So it was English food. It wasn't even prison. You like some bangers. Well the potatoes halfway cooked. Would you like one. We've run out of salt. How about some sand. You put a bit of sand on your tater. I'm going to go without actually I'm good. Look how hot the plate is. That's nice isn't it. Yes that is nice. I'm not hungry. More broth. More uncooked courgette. I don't cannot. Is there a way I can die. Is there a dying option. Well try the beef. And it was robbed of his jacket and shoes. And then he got separated from his brother and cousin. Okay. And then smallpox broke out. I feel like Andrew might have already had smallpox. Yeah you're right or something worse. What is

worse. Slobbering and itching. Right. Okay. Yeah. And her and his brother started coming down with smallpox. Now his mother I don't know how this happened. His mother Elizabeth came and broke her to prisoner exchange. She talked to an American captain into giving up 13 British and then in return she got seven prisoners. Okay. Two of whom were her sons. Okay. Robert was so sick she she had to walk beside the horse and hold them up. It was a 40 mile journey home but he died before they got home. Okay. Andrew was very very close to death. He remained an invalid for several months but Elizabeth nursed him back to health and she decided at that point to bring medicine and messages to a prison ship in Charleston which is 160 miles away. So there's a they were putting all the prisoners on a ship in Charleston. Okay. And she found out about it and she was like I'll bring a medicine and she got the messages from people around. Okay. So she's

sure. And then on the way back she was quote seized with the ship fever and died. Jesus. Okay. She went to the ship and she got the ship fever. That's why you don't go to ship go to a boat and save a little save a shot of medicine for yourself. Thank you. You're going near the ship. But you know you're an active boater. I'm a boatman. You're a boatman. Yeah. It was probably cholera I would imagine or just one of the awesome ship disease. Yeah. Yeah. She ate barnacles or something. Yeah. She might have gone barnacles. Yeah. She has barnacles on her. Yeah. Oh no. So Andrew now is at home alone dying of smallpox. No no he's okay. He's recovered but he's still sick like he takes a while. He's 14 years old and he's got no family anymore. Sure. I mean he's got distant relatives who he goes to live with you know but they're not as. Yeah they're not as cool about the slobbering. Yeah they all think he's weird. Yeah. His health

came back and then he got into horse racing gambling drinking and cock fighting. Finally. So he is back. Yes. So he went fucking over the top. Yeah. Nice. The Revolutionary War ended. Congratulations America. The British were gone. So that needed now they needed new laws in America. Right. Ones that would hold up throughout any test. There's nothing that could possibly nothing that could shake the foundation of these laws that they were going to come up with. Right. There's no something that locks democracy in forever no matter what. Right. We're going to do those and then we're set and nothing can shake that. Yeah. Mr. British yet. Yeah a little bit. So Andrew decided to become a lawyer to take advantage of that sweet sweet situation. OK. He studied with a couple of lawyers one of whom had lost a hand in the war and used a silver knob for a prop. What. That's not a prosthesis. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's just got it's a knob hand

knob hand. Yeah. And so when he was arguing in case he would bang it on the thing. Well that really takes away the judge's power. I am also banging stop banging your weird knob hand bang on the jury box which I think would be pretty effective. Yeah. The judge kind of jealous the more I think about it. Yeah. It's good. He just took a door handle basically. Yeah. Knocking shit. Yeah. Sure. So the judge board of North Carolina Superior Court of Law concluded Andrew was now ready to practice law for a little while. OK. It was like a year maybe. Sure. So he gets it. Now this is the time of dual. But he's also studying law that hasn't necessarily been established yet. So it's probably kind of rushed. You know. Like there's nine things to know. OK. It's pretty quick course. Take your syllabus. Go home. Come back tomorrow. All right. Boom. Most likely you're a lawyer. Let's do it. All right. Guilty. Perfect. All right. Now for your knob hand. Thank you. So a lot of doles. And there was in his share. He enjoyed

doles. It was said he had over 100 doles but sounds like a lot of those just fights and not actually shooting doles. So a duel where you walk away and then just throw punches 20 paces away from someone. Your fist. Yeah. I would have hit you with this. Get your fists ready. And then you just throw sand. Throw sand in the guy's eyes. Dual. Sure. If you throw a bag of but what are those that's just powder on the ground and a big cloud comes up and you run and you run away. Yeah. That's a dual. But so those are maybe just ones that go to the brink of. I don't know. I don't know. I think they just called sometimes they called the fight a duel and then it got confused after a while. That's stupid. Yeah. I hear you in 1788 a friend of Andrews was appointed as a superior court judge in Western North Carolina. Okay. Which today is known as Tennessee. Okay. Sure. He appointed Andrew to be the district's public prosecutor. Okay. There are around 5000 white people

living in Nashville but it was unsafe to live outside of the central area because of Native American attacks. Okay. So once there Andrew quote aided in pursuing and chastising the enemy. The Native Americans. Yeah. Oh yeah. Soon after arriving he was involved in an attack on some Cherokee. Old Cherokee was. No he's not old Cherokee. And his name makes sense. Definitely not. Andrews commander said he was quote bold dashing fearless and mad upon his enemies. And they had a great deal. He had a great ambition for encounters with the savages. Okay. So he enjoyed fighting. It sounds like he liked just going fucking eight fucking beat the shit out of. Yeah. Yeah. Native Americans. Slabbering all over. Slabbering and getting itchy. Yeah. The American government wanted peace talks with the Native Americans. American government's like this. So let's do let's do the talky thing where we talk and figure some stuff out. Sure. Andrew disagreed with that

approach and wrote to a friend quote peace talks are nothing but delusions to put white men off their guard. And that experience teaches us that treaties answer to no other purpose than opening an easy door for the Indians to pass through and butcher our citizens. So treaties basically just a door like a trap door situation. Sure. So there's not a lot of if you think about there's not a lot of not a lot of options once you rule that one out the talking part once you wrote the talking part then there's kind of one. I think it's a policy that could still work option. Yeah. I think that could still play for us. Yeah I agree. Silence locking ourselves in the bedroom. Yeah. Eating a bucket of chicken. I think they can still play. Yeah. Yeah. One of the founders of Nashville had a daughter named Rachel. I found it. That's kind of Nashville. It's mine and I found it. There are already people there. But yeah I get it. It's mine. Get

him out of here. Well there's people living there in Nashville. Get him out. OK. They're not from here. Well they are from here. Not anymore. Let me see their IDs. That's just something I came up with. Well then they need to get out because they don't have them. I found it here. You found what Nashville fits this whole area here. It goes from there to there and then back to there and here. It was already here. Now it's Nashville. I don't think you quite understand how I'm inventing country line dancing. Nashville. Get him out. Get who out. There's people. The people live here before you. The people that have been living here for decades and centuries and hundreds of years. All the time. The ones. Get him out. Why would I get him out because they don't like country like shelter. The founder had a daughter named Rachel who married a captain Robarts and they lived in Kentucky but Robarts became very jealous of a border in the house they

lived in. He became jealous of a border. A border. A guy who lived in the house. A border. A Roman border. Not a guy made out of boards. Can I picture what I want. Yeah. OK. So Rachel came back after he has a temper so she didn't enjoy that part of him so she came back to Tennessee to live with her mother and then Robarts came back and moved in with them. OK. Now this is the house. Where's the man made of boards. Here you go. He got he got on fire. OK. Well man that's terrible for him. Yeah. He's what. Yeah. It was not good. So Andrew Jackson came and this is the family that he boarded with. So he's living with the mom. He's the new right. He's the new Kramer. OK. That's right. Robarts then became jealous of Andrew. Sure. What's not to be jealous of. He's right. He's frothing. He's angry. Fuck yeah. When Andrew learned Robarts was telling people that he was too intimate with his wife. Andrew found him and told them if he heard any of that kind of talk again he would quote cut his ears

out of his head. Jesus. So he goes cutting off is what you do. Cutting out of his. Well that's like a coring. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. You're going in. You're like a melon scooper because you can just slice off an ear but you're going inside the ear. He's talking about the whole inner ear. Getting all the pumpkin seeds out and whatever. Well I don't know if they call it that but yeah. Yeah. Well I'm pretty familiar with WebMD. I think you're not because there's actually no pumpkin seeds in a human. Read on. Robarts then higher had Andrew arrested because he threatened them. OK. And then a guard came and took Andrew away and Robarts decided to travel with him to the courthouse. Right. Because they're taking Andrew to the courthouse. OK. To deal with the situation. On the way. Andrew talked the guard into giving him his butcher knife. What guard. The guard butcher knife. I'm assuming that this was a mistake that someone wrote and it's just a it's like a. Because you got to be a real sweet talker. I mean I don't know what

it's a knife. I don't know why you're rolling or but I don't know why you're rolling around the country. The butcher knife just have a knife. You have to give it to a guy you're taking. All right. I have a turn. Take a rip. We talked about it. We talked him into giving him the butcher knife by promising not to do any harm with it. He's like look I'm not going to do anything. I just like holding that. I like to hold my hands. Quote Jackson examined the point and edge glancing the while at Robart's. So he's holding the knife and he's looking at Robart's nice. He's holding the knife and then Robart's just starts running. OK. This is fucked. So something about him looking at the knife and looking at dead into his eyes made him feel uneasy. Yeah apparently that was weird. OK. Especially after he said he's going to cut his ears out of his head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess those might be you put those together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Jackson pursued him into the cane. So he chases it. Yeah. And then he came

back alone and and went went to the courthouse with the guard on charges that were being filed by a man who had that's interesting. So at the court without a witness. Why are you here. Yeah. I don't know. Do you want this knife. It's pretty cool. No. No. No. But clearly. Yeah. There was a guy. Why are you in the defendants box. No. Comfy. Is anyone pressing anything against you. No. They're. Yeah. No. I think we're good. OK. Nice to see you. Yeah. I'll see you later. Bang my knob a few times. You guys can get out of here. Yeah. Anyway Robards moved away without Rachel after that. Oh so. OK. Wow. No charges. Case over Robards goes away. Weird. So now eventually Andrew learned Robards was granted a divorce from Rachel. So now Rachel's single single Andrew. OK. So the rumors potentially were true. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So he married her. They're both 24 years later. Andrew finds out that Rachel and Robards divorce had never been finalized. Oh boy. You actually needed a special

act from the legislature which they didn't have. What like a duet. Yeah. And Robards hadn't followed through with that. So in 1794 Andrew and Rachel got a new marriage license and remarried to make sure it was official. OK. I'm not sure how that works and fixes the first part of her still being married to the other guy but apparently. Well I think it's like a. You know most recent. Yeah. So last last last official. Second in. Yeah it's like your last address. Yeah. Yeah. So as a lawyer Andrew was known to not take much shit. OK. Once opposing counsel mocked one of his legal arguments so he wrote out a dual challenge and handed it to the guy. Boy OK. Yeah. Right. He's printing it up. Sure. And the other guy was like yeah I'll fucking do that. Oh he's in. Yeah. OK. Was it like do you want to do a check. Yes box or no box. I think it was a yes or no box. Yeah. Or a maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Or you did one of those little like things you do this little. That's going to be hard to

was you listening or watching. You know I'm sure that I sure like 7 year old girls could tell you the name of that. Yeah. Where you got that little trap in your. Yeah. OK. So let's cut that out. So then the case after a while the case was sent to the jury and then the two lawyers went outside into the street and held a duel. OK. So so they are basically the the lawyers who are opposing lawyers go outside for a duel while the jury is deliberating. That's right. Interesting. It's interesting. It's an interesting scenario. Yeah. So they both did the walkie walk and then they turn and shot and they both missed and then they walked over and shook hands and we're and we're good buddies after that is the weirdest feature. That is the weirdest thing about the duel. You would think of reload. I mean I understand. But you think maybe have like another another pistol on hand. Yeah. You get a second shot. Yeah. Second try. Then maybe you shake hands. It's sort of like extra time in the world. I would I would go

like four tries five tries maybe. Well then you're definitely getting death. I wouldn't mind too. Two. I mean but the but the one where you're just like well well. Here we go. There it was. Neither of us killed the other pool. I'd love to play some pool. Yeah. So and to travel all over Tennessee as a lawyer usually with a small group of men and they camp constantly. They're always under the threat of lawyers. Yeah. It's a new show. Yeah. They're always under a threat of attack from Native Americans. He gained a reputation as one of Tennessee's best Indian fighters. Okay. Right. Andrew practice law history doesn't history frowns upon that title. Yes. Yeah. Andrew practice law for eight years. Sometimes he was given land as a payment. Okay. So sometimes they do a really good job and they'd be like here's an acre or whatever. Just random acres. Yeah. I mean where else they can give you the acre you want. I got an acre here. Well maybe. I mean wouldn't you want a bunch of acres near each other. Yeah. That's

probably better rather than some sort of spread out acreage. We can go to my acre. There's nothing on it. They spend the weekend there. I mean it's cool. They just have an acre somewhere. You know. Yeah. But they pile up and then you just have a bunch of acres. Or maybe you just try to get other acres that match up to it. Just keep working hard dude. It's not monopoly. This is life bro. Keep taking cases. Keep taking cases. Take some divorce cases. You might get closer. So what interested you in our case. Well the plot. It's very close to a bunch of acres I have that I'm trying to merge. I just would love to have a love to have a house. Have you considered getting a divorce. I really think you should. You know she's sleeping with that man who's made of boards. Excuse me. She's sleeping with your guy who's made of boards. Yeah yeah we filmed that. Premature boards are talking. All right. Well I'm going to go to your neighbors. What a nightmare this has been.

He also bought land when there are not many settlers around some land. He also won in cockfights. Wow. I mean it's classic president stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean well you know in retrospect. He ended up with over 50,000 acres. I imagine that they were near each other. What a life. That's a lot of land if it's close. Sometimes he was giving slaves his payment. That's cool. Cool. A person to cover debt. It's always fun to remember that. He got his first slave in 1788. That's a big day getting your first life. Oh God. It's really a big day. Two years later he received two more. So he's you know racking up the slaves and land. During his first 15 years at the Nashville settlement a settler was killed once every 10 days by Native Americans. Jesus. So they're picking them off. Right. So it's like an injury chalkboard at a restaurant. It's not great. Right. In 1794 and it was one of 550 soldiers who killed quote a considerable number of Cherokee warriors. Nice. They destroyed the

Cherokee town of running water. It was the largest town of Hossle Cherokee and basically ended the war in the area. Okay. So they did a big old kill everybody. Right. Cool. Yeah. I mean yeah like I think when you really look back you know it's cool. Yeah. I mean I think that's the right word. Yeah. We did cool things and cool stuff to cool people. Yeah. And we've processed it. Yeah. Yep. And it was really making a name for himself. He helped draft the state constitution. Wow. And then became the state's first representative in the House of Representatives. So that's the first fucking guy from Tennessee. That's when it was a studio apartment. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. He got a one thousand one hundred and thirteen votes. His opponent got 12. What was his opponent a cactus board. He's a guy made out of boards. Oh man. I thought more people would have turned out. We see my girl around. Nothing's easy when you're made of boards. He has a song. Oh hi. I didn't realize you guys were there. I thought I just

heard you singing. Well I was just talking about how hard it is being made of boards. Yeah. Everyone looks at you when you're different made of wood. Yeah. You sit around and wonder. Yeah. What maybe could. I'm just going to take this nail right here. Have been. And all of a sudden. Oh God. No kill me. Do one in the head. That hurts. That actually hurts. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. I'm pine. I'm mainly pine. No one knows what it's like when you're made of pine. Oh you because that was a different. Got to put a smile on your face pretend you're feeling fine but you're not. Go ahead. Move. All right. Move now. Move now. Move now. Move now. Move now. So. So the militia who had attacked and killed the Cherokee wanted compensation for their war. Right. So when they're in Washington they're like we should get some money for all this people. And we're like we will always take care of the veterans because we killed a bunch of people. So we should get some cash. Absolutely. We

should reward you. They wanted twenty two thousand eight hundred and sixty dollars for expenses. President Washington was like no. I mean he was really more like. No. No. No. No. No teeth. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Because he he didn't want to pay him because it wasn't a defensive battle. It was offensive. So he's like well if you guys are protecting yourself we could pay up. Now see if one of them had attacked you. Going out killing people and that's different. But he wrote all this down with the. Yeah. And bloody. Yeah. Tooth stuff. Right. Andrew when Andrew heard this. It just says porridge sir. When Andrew heard this he lost his fucking shit. OK. Old dickery. And quote bolted to his feet on the house floor. He roared his rage. He insisted that the raids were just and necessary. They was looking at us funny. He had a bit of a temper. Yeah. It seems like a bit of a temper. A committee

was formed in the house with a guy named Andrew Jackson as the chairman. And now weirdly the committee then recommended Tennessee be paid the money. Hmm. And then the bill passed and now and there was an even bigger hero in Tennessee. Well Andrew was the only one voting on it. Right. He's still the only guy in there. Yeah. Just me. Yay. Yay. To that. The A's have it. Three months later the Senate seat Senate seat opened up and he was appointed. OK. He worked as a senator from November 1797 to April 1798. And then he resigned. OK. So this is short. Sure. Banged out like six months. Sure. Any reason. He didn't like it. He didn't like it. OK. He didn't like the job. Sure. He wasn't big on politics and sitting around. No. Yes. Well. And compromising all that stuff. Right. Some presidents aren't. When he got back he was elected to the Tennessee Supreme Court. He served on the Supreme Court for six

years and in 1801 he beat his nemesis John Severe and became major general of the Tennessee militia. OK. It was a very prestigious job. Sure. This is when people started calling him General Jackson even though he is a major general. But calling you a major general is kind of boring or long. Just kind of down in general. MG. MG. Yeah. Go to that. Andrew did not have any biological children but he had a shitload of kids. Yeah. The rumors were true. Rachel's brother died in 1804 and Andrew became the guardian of his three sons. John Samuel Andrew Jackson Andrew Jackson and Daniel Smith. OK. They were six five and three. Their mom was still alive but the courts appointed a male garden guardian even if the mother was still alive. They were like. So wait. No one. If you're a dude and you have a wife and kids and then you die and then the kids have to go to another dude because if the lady can't take care of

them what's she going to do. So wait. This is Rachel his wife. No. No. This is his Rachel brother. Sorry. Right. Rachel's brothers dies dies. The kids go to her. But they're like there needs to be a man to watch over the kids too. Yeah. And that's Andrew. That's an additional man. He's he's now no Andrew. It's Andrew. Andrew is now they're 100 percent in charge of the kids. She gets she can live with them inside because she's their mom. You may look at them but we're going to go with this guy who's got a penis. Like if he wanted to be like scoot get the fuck out of her she'd be like what? Get out of here. That's it. It's me and the boys. You have no connection to your sons. You know if you've got a problem with it bring it up on Dr. Phil. Yeah. Andrew you're not recognizing what she's asking of you. Yeah. No I don't like her. Let's bring the boys out. I'm on heroin. That's an interest. That's a tell. That's like that's what we call

a giveaway. Master bait. 18 hours a day. Well you ever thought about this Andrew that maybe sometimes when you're asking these people to duel you're actually shooting at yourself and you're trying to duel the other Andrew that seems to pull you apart from Rachel and you're now your boys. Yeah I think that all the time actually. I'm just going to kill some Cherokee. I gotta be honest man. We'll be right back. Have you had a lot of land given to you sparsely over the country that you wish connected? I have. If so call Dr. Phil. I think that was very specific. So another one of Rachel's brothers his wife had twins. Okay. And then for some reason he died. No they gave one of them to Andrew and Rachel. What you just give one twin away. They're like mittens. No but if you have two and you're like. No you don't separate twins. What if they look alike. No twins have

something that we should all strive to have. No if there's two of them they look the same you're like I can't tell these apart. What? Then you give one to. We're setting up Act One of the Parent Trap. Just give one to a friend a buddy or your brother or whatever. Well we didn't bring a bottle of wine but you want James. So they named him Andrew Jackson Jr. AJJ. But he's remembered the other one of the other boys is Andrew Jackson. That's fine though. So there's three Andrew Jackson's living in the house. Do you want big handy or little handy or middle handy? Regular handy. Regular handy. I don't know which one that is. We're all kind of regular handy. So over the years they would just keep getting kids from different relatives. What? That's part of the jam. It's not a you really nonchalantly are saying that.

That's not a thing. It's part of the thing. It's not like when you have like a bunch of you know goats who need rehabilitation you open a farm. It's totally cool. You don't just take on a bunch of random children. No someone has twins you get so you get one. It's not a potluck with babies. Oh disagree. Okay there. Tennessee was considered the west at the time right. Wild unsettled. White settlers kept pushing Native Americans off their land. Tecumseh you know I don't have to go through Tecumseh with you. He's a Native American brought a bunch of tribes together. Great. I'm good. You're quiet and stuff. He approached the British about joining forces so he's like hey you guys want to fight the Americans. The British would supply the Native Americans with weapons and supplies

and then in turn the Native Americans would fight the Americans. And the British would just be like well they are savage aren't they. We don't know where they got all these lovely weapons. Could Lord be terrifying. We wish on in your position. Care for a half boiled potato. Brexit. War between the US and Britain was declared on a June 12th 1812. Okay. Andrew offered his services and the 2500 volunteers in his division. Okay. President Madison did not at all like Andrew because he had supported Madison's opponent in the election. Sure. But soldiers were needed. Andrew and the Tennessee volunteers joined the war and were sent to New Orleans. No. No. No. The soldiers were told they'd be

reimbursed by the government. Oh boy. Okay. That's never gonna work out. Yeah for sure. But if the government ever says we're gonna reimburse you then no one's gonna reimburse you. Yeah. Back then. There's another podcast I think we did recently with a similar part but I feel like it's gone. What? Nothing. So the men got on boats and headed south. Okay. Then Andrew got a message from Secretary of War telling him to disband his militia and turn over quote all articles of public property to the commander of the south. So now Andrew's furious. He went all this way. Now he's giving up all his shit to another guy that he doesn't like the guy anyway. Right. He had used his own then he used his own money and got I used to buy food and supplies to get them back home

because they were all out. They were expecting to get to New Orleans and get all their stuff. Right. And then these guys took everything they had. That's cool. It's a cool situation. Yeah for sure. So they marched 500 miles back. Jesus. Yeah. So but again now people just make some people like him more in Tennessee. Right. And he's this guy. He helped everybody out. Right. Do the thing. Now. Wait. He looks good because he gave up all the weapons because he paid for all their food and shit. Oh right. Right. Right. Right. So now dueling is becoming less and less popular these days. Right. Now it's dance offs. Yeah. A lot of dance offs. There's some. This is the founding of Getting Served. That's right. Yeah. That's what that's what the story is. Two men Jesse Benton and William Carroll decided to duel.

Now Carroll asked Andrew Jackson to be his second. His second meaning the guy. So when there's a duel yeah they go hands to the gun and does all the shit. Okay. So the duel is a mess. Carol was shot in the hand and Benton was shot in the ass. Oh my god. Getting shot. I think it's shot in the ass. Well that means you had to turn around. Yeah. So that's not a good thing if you got shot in the ass. Yeah. Okay. That means you're not brave. Right. Because your butt's out. Right. In the direction where your face should be. Sure. At least that's the technique. Or you're being hilarious and like talking. Right. Yeah. You could be talking with your butt cheeks. So getting the shot a shot in the ass. Huge embarrassment. It meant you tried to dodge the bullet. So Jesse Benton's brother

Thomas was mad at Andrew for not stopping the duel in the gut. So he's basically mad because the brother had his back turned or whatever and he didn't stop. Andrew didn't stop his guy from shooting. He's like don't shoot him in the in the butthole or whatever you call it. Wait Andrew didn't stop. Who is Andrews defend Andrews with the guy who shot and shot the guy in the butt. Right. Yeah. So what is he pissed about. So he's mad that that the guy was turned and Andrew didn't stop him from shooting. But it's an embarrassment to shoot. Oh it's an embarrassment but it's embarrassing to get shot in the ass. But it's also embarrassing to shoot a guy in the ass. I do not agree with this one. And these stupid rules of honor that make no sense. It makes complete sense. Well

I'm going to I'm going to argue the nuance. So. So now the two brothers Jesse and Thomas Benton are furious with with Andrew. What. Because one guy shot in the butt. Yeah. OK. So they keep talking shit about him all over the place. They're talking shit about him. They're talking shit about him. So finally he's had enough. He finds out that they're staying at the city hotel in Nashville. He fucking rolls down there on his horse starts walking around. He walks past the hotel. He walks back and then the brothers see him. He pulls out a whip. Whoa. Jesse Benton then starts shooting. OK. One bullet hit Andrew in the left shoulder shattered the bone. Severed an artery. A second bullet hit his left arm. Andrew got one shot off before he went down and then all hell breaks loose.

Thomas Benton starts shooting as did John Coffey who is Andrew's friend who was there. And then one of Andrew's nephews just happens to be passing by. My name is also Andrew Jackson. He sees his uncle down on the ground. So he runs at Jesse Benton and pulls out his knife and just starts fucking stabbing him stabbing him with a knife. Jesus. And then Jesse put a gun barrel against the nephews. What's the nephew like. He's probably four. Oh my put a nephew against the put a gun against the nephew's heart and pull the trigger but it misfired. Jesus. And then another relative of Andrew was cruising by Andrew Donaldson and then he rolled up and he started fucking shooting

and finally the guys at the hotel and then people were like fucking stop you guys. You're good. Well that used to work. Yeah. Oh interesting. So they got them to stop. The only person seriously wounded was Andrew Jackson because he got shot twice and pop an artery. Yeah. He was taken to and I bet the nephews hand heard from stabbing. Yeah. Yeah. That that can really just yeah. So he's taken to an inn where he just basically ruined two mattresses by bleeding into them. So that's bad. That's probably a lot of blood. Tell you who he calls. Ghostbusters. Casper. That's how it goes getting mattresses by the way. Yeah. Doctors came and they said the left arm had to come off. Well really. Got to cut that fucking shit off. And Andrew was like no

no. I'm not. That's not me. That's not who I am. Okay. I'm not in the downtown with that. And they're like we're going to die. And he goes fuck it. Let it happen bitch. You're not reading anymore. I should point that out. I'm improvising. Yeah. But I'm assuming this is exactly out of the conversation. I don't know. The Breaking Bad style was in then. So they put on slippery Elm which is obviously. That's a guy. Get on. Let me get on you. No it was a record. Oh that's slippery Elm. It's a band. It's a band. We're mostly acoustic. And then they put on other natural cures which are all Native American remedies. Hi Rony. The bleeding finally stopped and the next morning was like he's going to live.

Dude's going to fucking live. With his arms. So but for weeks he could barely move and people ran the Benton brothers brothers out of town. Everyone's like we love Andrew. Go fuckers. Again not reading. Maybe. Most people thought Andrew was an idiot to get involved in duels at his age. They're like dude. How old is he? He's not that old. I don't know why they were thinking that. Well I mean 24 is dying. It's like 1813. So when did I say he was born? 1767. Okay so he's not young. He's 40s. Yeah. 40s maybe he shouldn't be shooting. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you bros on a street is the name of the charity album. So in the summer of 1813 a faction of Creek Indians called Red Sticks. Okay.

Started fighting against regular creeks. The regular creeks were more simulated assimilated into white society. Okay. So these guys. So the Red Sticks didn't like the uh the more uh I don't know what they would call it civilized back man but they simulated they were more like dressing like the whites and living in houses like the whites and more you know shitty shitty people. The Red Sticks are called Red Sticks because they painted their war clubs by bright red. Okay. So 553 white men women and children sought refuge at Fort Mims and then a thousand painted mostly naked Red Sticks attacked. Dicks out. The sticks are going to get a little redder I think. There might be something else going on right now.

Wait a minute one. The Red Sticks attacked and slaughtered every white person that they could. Only 13 people escaped. Okay. So a lot of that's a 500 that's a lot of five. A lot of dead whites. Over 500. Yeah. Pregnant women had infants cut from their wombs. Jesus. Every white person was scalped. So the Red Sticks came to fucking party like they were like let's do let's do it or let's do it completely. Guys let's have a let's have some fun out there. I bet when they were coming over the wall they were like balls to the wall. Let's go balls to the wall guys. All the way we're going all the way. Cock out rock out let's do this shit on three ready Red Sticks. Uh so the uh so now the Tennessee volunteers were like we should probably do

something about that. Run. Uh so they're called into service. Andrew put in an ad in the paper. Okay. Murder is needed. Already. Already they advanced towards your frontier with their scalping knives unsheathed to butcher your wives your children and your helpless babes. Time helpless babes. Yeah. Time is not to be lost. The health of your general is restored. He will command in person but his health was not restored. He was not. He was healthy enough to run an ad. He was still yeah. Uh he's in a lot of pain still. His left arm not usable. Okay. At all. He had to be helped onto his horse. He needed help to write and couldn't feed himself. That sounds like the arm was sort of off. Uh pieces of bone quote came out of my arm. Came out of his arm. And when they did he

would send them to Rachel as a souvenir. Really sweetheart. He told her quote I hope all the loose pieces of bone are out and I shall not be long to paint longer paint with it. So he just had a situation where bones. Is that how you keep a girl? Um some girls are yeah. I that's how I got my first girlfriend. These are still coming out. Hopefully no more. I still have bone coming out of me. I really miss you. Miss us. So anyway he just everyone's while I send her bone and be like that came out. Hey look at that. And it was always very thin and may have been infected with intestinal parasites since childhood that were common in the Carolinas at the time. Um he had chronic diarrhea. Okay. Uh during the creek. I imagine it was just called bowel movements back then. Yeah probably.

During the creek campaign he could barely sit up on the march. He would lean forward in his saddle as though hugging his horse. So this is the fearless leader. The man who has one arm that works. One dead one. Can't stop shitting on his horse that he's hugging as he rides. Yeah follow him. That's our guy. But I mean at this time the other guys are all probably worse. Is the 1820s or whatever. Um so uh he had symptoms uh. Did some bone come out? Put that in an envelope. All right. He still had the um bullets in him. The bullets never came out. So lead from the bullets leached into his bloodstream. He had symptoms consistent with lead poisoning. He had abdominal cramping, nausea, headaches, constipation that would alternate with diarrhea. So he had

that constipation. I think that's just called diarrhea. Double diarrhea. Cause he also had double diarrhea from the other things. Double diarrhea. Yeah I don't know. That's a medical term at all. Yeah again not reading. It went to medical school. No. Double diarrhea is the thing. No. Also the area around the bullets never fully healed. So he had chronic uh low grade infection which left him susceptible to other infections and sometimes he just coughed up blood. Is it safe to say Andrew Jackson's dying? I don't know but he's great at parties. Yeah for sure. Oh god. Oh hold on I have to shit. I gotta mail that to my wife. Take that bone out while I shit. Wait mail the shit to your wife? No don't be weird. The bones. Okay what about the blood?

The blood mail to her too and then save some for me. I'm gonna put it in my hair. Okay. Oh I can't stop. Must be something I didn't eat. Now do me a favor. Put some Bactine in these wounds. Actually mail the wound to my wife. Oh what? Oh god I gotta shit more. Oh bring the horse in here. I need to hug him. What? Put something in me. You're awful. I'm leaking from shoulder to bottom. You should be a senator. I will be. Andrew uh so anyway back to the fighting the red sticks. Okay so uh at a creek town Andrew's men slaughtered 176 people and took 80 prisoners. Okay. Andrew took a baby and sent that baby home to Rachel to raise. Hey it's bones sort of. So this is apparently common. So just mail babies home? He would just take a baby

and then that baby wouldn't be raised as a native American would be raised as a white person so it was like then they'd be like that one's fine. It's all normal. Uh Davey Crockett was at the attack and he said quote we shot them like dogs. Davey finish writing the song we gotta go. Hold on. Andrew uh got the nickname Sharpknife. That's when the Native Americans started calling him Sharpknife. Okay. Just not a good nickname. No. Uh Andrew attacked more red sticks at Talladaga. Sure. Killing 300 but now his men were over it. They were hungry and thought they should be discharged because they had served an entire year. Andrew was like you want to know what pain is. But Andrew said that they hadn't served a year because they had gone back home and and then taking time out

before they went back out so he said they still had another six months to go because they because there was nothing there was no war on at that point whatever. Right. He threatened to shoot them if they tried to leave. One group still wanted to leave so he had the artillery pointed at them and then he also stood in the line of fire. Said weird twist. Yeah and then the guys said quote let us stay please. That's how you change an attitude. And so they stayed. Why did he stay in front of it? He was like I'll die too. Yeah he was like fuck it let's all go. Honestly it'd be nice to just have a day away from the toilet. I just want to stop shitting. Uh for years after Tennesseans told the awesome story of the time Andrew Jackson's threatened to blow himself up

and his men to put down the mutiny. It's fucking great. What a great guy. What a great story. A quality story. Yeah yeah. During another battle with the Red Sticks a friendly Cherokee leader Junaluska saved Nandu's life. Uh a creek uh Indy was about to kill him when Junaluska drove his tomahawk through the Creek Warriors skull. Wow. Around at that fight around 800 Red Sticks were killed. Jesus. 300 women and children were captured. Ander wrote a letter to Rachel quote the carnage was dreadful. Bones en route. All by me. Horrible though. Uh he had his men count the dead and to avoid double counting they cut off the tip of each Red Sticks nose. Oh Jesus. It's just easier to count that way if you have a pocket full of noses.

A nasal scalping? Yeah well I mean it's easier than because otherwise you're like oh god what were we at were we at 43 but if you're otherwise you go oh just count the noses in your pocket. All right 84 noses. Um the soldiers also sliced sliced off long strips of skin to make bridal rains. I just threw up in my face. What bridal rains? Yeah like for horses. I think um I think people are awful. I'm just gonna point that out. I would look just at least didn't say bacon. You know what I mean? We got a little bit of a break there. A little bit of a break. Yeah but you still said bacon. This was a big battle in the war because the British were close to supplying the hostile tribes with weapons. So on the march back Andrew burned every native

village he came across and then he destroyed the Creek food supply so both the friendly the Red Sticks and the sorry both the hostile the Red Sticks and the friendly ones who had been fighting them were now on the verge of starvation. Cool guy. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Because a non-Red Stick Creek was helping them. Right. Me helping them out but now he's like you guys Twisteroo. Psych. Uh Andrew was made uh Major General. He was already Major General. Yeah that must have been a mistake. Now he's General Major. General General General. Part of his job was negotiating a peace settlement with the creeks. He came up with a plan. I bet it's bad. No.

He kicked the hostile creeks off their land and made them move in with the friendly creeks. Is he Mark Burnett? Is he a problem? So wait he's just how he's made he's a that'll be more land for the white people and then he's making all the Native Americans go live on a smaller space. I wonder who they're gonna find issue with. Well so that was weird because all these creeks who had just helped him fight the Red Sticks were rewarded by having to live with the Red Sticks who they just fought against. Awkward. So super super cool. But then still you're gonna get on the same page eventually and be like yeah let's kill Andrew Jackson. Yeah yeah yeah that's the way to go. At this time

Florida was claimed by both the United States and Spain. Okay. Why I don't know. Yeah neither should have it. Andrew heard the British were dropping supplies at Pensacola which was occupied by Spain and he asked for permission to take troops down and take care of that situation. Okay. And President Madison was like no just fine. Andrew just can you chill for a minute. How about you. Can you just settle down a little. Relax for 10 seconds. How about you relax for 10 seconds. Chill out. Do you have enough noses. So he just said he said just get some intelligence. Find out what's going on. Stay off Spanish soil. Right. So Andrew started sending letters to Spanish commandant Gonzales in Pensacola. Okay. He's just basically talking

shit through letters. Yeah it's tweeting. He wrote Gonzales that he better not be harboring Indians or the British. He wrote that the Spanish had sheltered quote murderous barbarous rebellious bandit. Andrew then called up his militia which was what the president said not to do. Right. No it seems like he's definitely not listening to orders. Word then came that British Rear Admiral Cockburn had burned the house. Hello I'm the Rear Admiral. Name's Cockburn. Oh yuck it up assholes. Well it's funny because. Yeah I understand. But you're it's funny because. I've also taken male lovers. Your name is cock. All right back to work. Like a gonorrhea filled cock. Uh huh. And I'm the Admiral of the Rear. Thank you. I didn't want to say it but you're. Yes yes

yes and I've taken male lovers. Yeah. Yeah I've gotten burning cock from. We're trying to insinuate that. There's no need to insinuate what happened. I'll be honest I'm in an unfulfilling marriage and recently I've taken to having sex with some of the men. So it's. Now laugh it up if you must that I've gotten gonorrhea from a few of those boys. But that's right. The Rear Admiral who likes to be the Admiral of the Rear whose last name is Cockburn has a burning cock. Now on to god damn business. Just from the. The joke's been made boys. Just from the troops perspective all the fellas out here we were just hoping to have a little fun with that and now it's more like a medical lecture. Have fun if you want but gentlemen I'm telling you I am head to toe gonorrhea. I'm

gonorrhea in a trench coat. So we're just going to take off and everybody we're going to go find another Rear Admiral. Get yourself in a loveless marriage see what happens to you. Okay. You're bad person. You stick around. Andrew wanted to do something after the White House was burned out because that's not cool. Right. So he took his troops. I had regular Army, Tennessee, Mississippi militia, a large band of Chukta Indians and headed for Pensacola. Okay. This was a direct violation of Madison's order. I think it was a complete violation. Who had said don't go to Pensacola with this troops. On we go. He sent a message to Commodot Gonzalez demanding he turn over the fort. Okay. And Gonzalez was like no. Okay. I'm not going to. No. Right. And then

Andrew's troops stormed the storm Pensacola and Gonzalez surrendered but that was just the town. The Spanish officer at the fort rejected the surrender. He's like I'm down. You didn't sign up. Yeah. He's like Gonzalez this is a fucking idiot. Right. And so Andrew started attacking the fort then the British blew it up so it couldn't be taken over. They're like fuck this. Nice British. Yeah. Yeah. We can have it. Nobody can have it. Nobody will play. So Andrew then went to Andrew that went to New Orleans. British gunboats were on a nearby lake and he declared martial law in New Orleans although he had no authority to do that. And I don't think they ever overturned it. On December 24th a treaty was signed in Belgium ending the war. Okay. But there's no phones or

anything. So it takes a minute. No texting. So it would have to be ratified by the US government before it was officially over which would happen on February 16th, 1815. But no one in the area knew right now. That was what was happening. Right. So they kept fighting. The British attacked and Andrew won big time. Like big time just fucking slaughtered the British. Several high ranking British officers were killed. The troops surrendered. Hundreds of British were dead just laying in the fucking swamps. Like they would find bones for like another 100 years and shit. Well, I know it's a male. Yeah, girl. The victory in New Orleans was celebrated across the country. He was called the green back woodsman and had bested the invincible British. So people loved it.

They're like, it's fucking great. You slaughtered a bunch of the Brits. Right. Fucking awesome. We love that. I love that about you. Like it's awesome. You come out of the woods. You're like, oh, here in the pudding or whatever. You know what I mean? I don't know what your people are. Unbelievable that you stabbed me during pudding. People. There are rules to war. You know, people in New Orleans are like, let's get back to our lives. Like it's all over. That should happen. Let's fucking get back to living. Let's make weird drinks and boots. But Andrew kept martial law in effect. Okay. A member of the Louisiana legislature published an article complaining about Andrew's abuse of power, accusing martial law in effect. So Andrew had had him arrested to prove that he was.

During martial law. To prove that he wasn't abusing power at the. That'll show him. Yep. And then the legislator appealed to a federal judge hall who upheld the appeal and sent Andrew a writ of habeas corpus. He's like fucking knock that shit off. Okay. Wrap it up. Right. Andrew then sees the judge for abetting and ordered him marched four miles outside of the city and released. Okay. Well, like a dog that you don't want? Yeah. Yeah. He just can have it marched out and dropped out. Go on. Get swamp or whatever. Well, you don't have to. That's kind of a life sentence. Go time. Well, don't just stand there with those puppy dog eyes, Lee. Get out of here. Get out, judge.

You like Florida? Start walking. You'll find a new home. You'll find someone who loves you. You'll find a courthouse. Why are you crying? Because I've grown attached to you over that full mile ride. What? You're my favorite judge. Now, get. Thank you. Get. Have you seen Bad Lieutenant 2? Go. Bad Lieutenant 2 and the ones that has nothing to do with. You want to talk anymore? Are we done? Now I don't. Blue it. Bad Lieutenant 2. Nobody has a bench that deep. Get out of here. There's a dance number. What? What? Later. Heretic. But word came. Now word comes finally. The treaty's been ratified. Right. Good news. Andrew then ends martial law. He's like, all right, I guess that's that.

Judge Hall was allowed back into the city. Hey. Hey, sorry. Awkward. But as soon as he got back into court, he ordered Andrew there to explain why he should not be held in contempt of court. Martial law's back on. Andrew came but refused to answer questions, and then the judge fined him $1,000, which Andrew paid. Okay. When he stepped out of the courtroom, a enormous crowd cheered him. Right. Yeah. Nice. America. Andrew then returned home, but it was a long trip because everyone wanted to see him. Quote, he was feasted, caressed, and I may say idolized. They took upon him as a strange prodigy, and women, children, and old men lie on the road to look at him as though they were an elephant. So he's now a hero nationwide.

Elephant. Okay. As part of the treaty of Ghent, Andrew was ordered to remove white settlers from Native American territories in southern Tennessee and northern Mississippi. Andrew refused. Yeah. I was going to say, it doesn't sound like his MO. No, it's not really his jam. So he just refused what they call the law order, the law. He was so popular that he could get away with it though. Yeah. Madison didn't want to fire him and alienate voters. Jesus. I mean, we can trace it all the way back to there. What are you talking about? At this time in Florida, the Seminoles were made up of an alliance of earlier tribes and people who weren't like traditional Native Americans, including Creoles and runaway slaves. So it's

just like a big, sure, mish-mash of people. Kind of a ragtag, right. During the war of 1812, they had built a makeshift fort, and there were now around 300, and they had, quote, a large quantity of British muskets, powder, and other supplies. Nice. So the secretary of war told Andrew to warn the Spanish governor of Pensacola to clean out the fort or let the United States do it. Okay. So the Spanish governor was like, go for it. I don't know. Not too shits. Godspeed. Not too shits. I don't fucking care. So Andrew had a gunboat sent, and the gunboat... That's a boat shaped like a gun, right? That's a boat shaped like a gun. We don't have those anymore, but there used to be... You had a boating expert. There used to be also goat

shaped like guns. Goats? My dad was a farmer. Maybe a whiskey farmer. They made those illegal because, you know... Governor Feinstein takes away our guns. No, no, no. Dave, wrong episode completely. Three or three ago. So they started shooting at each other, the fort and the gunboat, and they shot a... They started firing heated... So they would heat up cannonballs until they were glowing, and then they would shoot them. You make cannonballs worse. That's gonna slice through some people. Like, that's a hot ball. Just guys in the fort yelling, hot ball! And the rear admiral's like, I understand what that feels like. Those are my genitals. Okay. Can you go back in your room? I've enjoyed male many lovers. Can you go back in your room?

Absolutely. I'll go back in my room. I'm sitting in an ice bath because, boy, it's like someone put hot coals on my penis. Woo! The rear admiral. But we're going to a doctor. No, I don't trust quacks. So one hot... One of these flaming glowing hot balls landed in a gunpowder stockpile. Oh god. And the fort exploded and everybody died. Oh my god. All the symbols inside. Jesus. So that had an ending that was not expected. Right. So there's peace for a little while, and then the Seminoles started raiding again. There were more out there. Right. They started raiding. And there might be a little angry now. Now they're, you know, it's escape slaves. It's Native Americans. It's smugglers. It's pirates. It's just all kinds of

people. So Andrew told President Monroe he wanted to go into Florida and take care of business. He's like, let's get some fucking shit. Yeah, do a little TCB. So Monroe would later say he didn't authorize the attack. And Andrew Jackson would say he got a letter from a congressman that authorized the attack, but also told him to burn it. So you go with whoever you think is... I'll go with the non-Andrew Jackson camp. Yeah, that's probably it. So Andrew headed to Florida basically to take care of the Native American Seminole problem. And then he started rolling through and killing Indians everywhere, including a group of Creek. What started as a guys to arrest Seminoles was turning into a full-scale war and occupation in Florida. So

he's just fucking going ape shit down there. He recaptured Pensacola, the Spanish and put American troops in the fort. The Spanish are now furious. Some Americans worried that Andrew had the makings of a dictator. He was violating international law. He executed two British citizens and the English press would ape shit, calling him, quote, a Yankee pirate with blood on his hands. Well, this is before the Daily Mirror had puns. That's right. In DC, they thought he was trying to start a war with Spain, so he... Bloody, bloody!...so he'd get him bathed Mexico. Okay. Interesting tactic. I call it DC, but it's probably just Washington, but I'd rather call it DC because it's shorter. He had basically declared war without congressional approval.

He was portrayed as... Oh, what is that? Absolutely. He was portrayed as aiding by squatters. So they were in the news, they were portraying him as aided by squatters. Squatters like the lowest of the low, right? Right. Of white men, anyway, as they say. Who were dressed up as, quote, white savages. After his run through Florida was done, Monroe returned the forts to the Spanish to avoid war and later a treaty was signed and the US got Florida and Spain got Texas. Okay. Now back in DC, people wanted investigation. They're like, what the fuck happened with you in Florida, dude? That shit was crazy. Doesn't matter. The Spanish got what they wanted. It's fine. No, you went bug, you went bug, fuck. No, you went fuck, bug. Bug, fuck. You went

fuck, bug. No, you literally defined bug, like we didn't have that word before you went down to Florida. You went bug, fuck, man. I had some fun. What can I say? That's not fun. You killed a bunch of fucking people. In the name of justice. Hello. Good Lord. So Henry Clay demanded censure. Andrew Jackson told all the legal authorities it was between him and President Monroe and nobody else. All right. He also threatened to cut off the ears of some senators because they dared to investigate and humiliate him on the national stage. Give me a knife, hand me that knife. I want to look menacing. You really didn't like ears. You're going to cut your ears out. Not an ear fan. Or noses. So he had a... I cut a mouth out, but it's already a hole. You can

cut a mouth out. Oh God. He had a simple explanation of his actions against Native Americans. It was quote, the right of retaliatory vengeance against inhumane, bloody barbarians. So... Yeah. Caused by... Right. Also, yeah. The aggressor. They were living there. Yeah. Okay. Like, if you came and moved into my bedroom, I might be mad. You're being a real dick, Dave. We're trying to sleep in here. Cut your head off. No, my ears. After Florida, a huge financial downturn came and people moved west looking for a new start. Andrew Jackson had his government salary, so he built a new home on his hermitage property. That's what he called this joint. Sure. The old home became slave quarters. He now owned around four dozen slaves. Great. Good guy. He's just rolling and rolling people.

In 1821, the US decided to shrink the size of the army, but no one wanted to tell Andrew to retire because he was a fucking lunatic. So they made him governor of Florida. Okay. Sure. Sure. A role that would be held by a lunatic until today. So Andrew and Rachel went to Pensacola and dealt with the turnover from the Spanish to the Americans until the end of the year. And then after that, he was done. He turned it over to the new governor. Quote, I am truly worried of public life. I want rest and my private concerns and previously demand my attention. His health is still not great. Quote, for four months, I have been oppressed with a violent cough and costiveness constipation, which I think is just constipation, constipation. Costiveness, I believe, is just constipation.

Must be really bad. Yeah, like double constipation, which we talked about earlier with the diarrhea. From 1821 to 1824, he lived at home. His supporters tried, kept China Commissar to run for president. They're like, dude, you've got to fucking do this. You are so awesome. You are so, the way you roll through Florida, that shit is off the hook. It's a good voting base, too. He didn't want to be president, though. He wanted to stay at home and enjoy his life in Tennessee. Rachel really didn't want him to be president. So Andrew said he would not campaign for the presidency, but if people elected him, well, then he would be his duty to serve. Is that right? Yeah. A little loophole there, I feel sick. So he was then elected to serve in the Senate.

Okay. Oh, right, because it was done by... Well, he said, if anybody elects me to something, I'll do it because that's what you want. Right. So he gets elected to the Senate. But this time, his journey to DC was slow because he was getting mobbed by people at every stop. He's just a, people are just fucking ape shit for him. He's this huge hero. He had to switch from horseback to a stagecoach coach to keep him from being recognized. What? Wow. He had to get out of this fucking horse. Like, that's how he's like Jim Carrey in the fucking 90s. Yeah, he's like Sanjaya. So... Go ahead. He did not like being senator, though. He thought it was tedious. It was mostly boring speeches and socializing. He also did not fit in Washington, DC at all.

Because he was a huge asshole? One congressman described him as quote, uncouth looking. Uncooth looking. Thomas Jefferson thought Andrew had savage instincts and once observed him so overcome with anger that he was left speechless. Okay. Now, at the time, speechlessness was considered the trait of a primitive man. Okay. His fiery temple permanently marked him with the elites of DC. So he's like, he's like, they seem as an uncontrollable uncouth force dude, not a force, but looking down on him. Okay. So they're not worried about him. They're just like, get out of here. Yeah, they think he's a fucking idiot. Okay. And it was blunt with his opinions and also took quick resentment to anyone who disagreed with his opinions. A few months later, he went back to

Nashville and his supporters still want him to be president. In 1824, Andrew Jackson got 154,000 votes. John Quincy Adams got 109,000 votes. Representative Henry Clay and Secretary of the Treasury William H. Crawford got 47,000. Now, that didn't mean he was president. Okay. So the electors met in DC in December. For two weeks, no one knew who the president would be. Andrew went to DC. Rachel came with him this time. Now he wants to be president. I'm going to want this shit. When the electoral vote came in, it was Andrew Jackson 99, Adams 84, Crawford 47, Clay 37. But the Constitution said if no candidate had a majority of votes, the House would choose the president from the top three. Right. So Clay's fourth. So he's out. Right. So now it's between

Crawford Adams and Jackson. Now remember, all these guys don't fucking like him. Right. Clay is a Harvard educated dude. He doesn't like the fucking Western country bumpkin. He's a member of the House of Representatives. He didn't like any of the choices. Quote, I consider whatever choice we make will be only a choice of evils. So he made a deal with John Quincy Adams. Adams would make him Secretary of State if he swung the vote to Adams. And that's how John Quincy Adams became the sixth president of the United States. Okay. Andrew Jackson is fucking furious. Okay. Because he won the vote. Yeah. But he didn't get elected. Imagine winning the popular vote and upping the president. Oh my God. I can't. He resigned. He resigned from the Senate again and returned to

Nashville. President John Quincy Adams was not Andrew Jackson. He was a loner who abstained from pleasure and vices. He rose well before dawn every morning to read the Bible in Greek, German, French, and English. Oh, God. Wait. Good Lord. I mean, you're really hedging your bets on God there. Gotta get him. All right. Just in case he's German. He walked for exercise and calculated the distance walked. He'd measure his stride at two feet six and eighty eight hundreds of an inch. So, I mean, on the spectrum. Right. Yeah. Insane. Before Adams was even inaugurated, the Nashville Gazette declared Andrew a candidate for president in 1828. Okay. So they're looking forward to the next four years. Right. They didn't ask him. They just did it. And that's what happened

and it turned into an ugly campaign. Clay called Andrew a dangerous military chieftain, which is another way of saying back then a savage. Sure. Right. Andrew's friends brought bought newspapers to make sure the propaganda went their way. Okay. Andrew's opponents charged him with Negro speculation, which is also known as slave trading, which, for some reason, owning slaves was okay, but trading them was not. Oh, you're such a fucking stupid country. I'm just so dumb. I'm just so fucking stupid. No, no, no rules are rules. You can own them. You just can't trade them. Foolish bad. Good Lord. Tradition. Fucking asshole are you. Tradition. Tradition. They brought up all his duels and portrayed him as a down and dirty street fighter

who'd stab a man in the back with a sword hidden in his cane. It's true. Well, his friendship with Aaron Burr was used to suggest he was a traitor. And then they went after Rachel. I kind of remember this a little bit from the cheese one. Yeah. They accused Andrew of stealing another man's wife. Right. Rachel was labeled labeled an adulteress. Papers called her quote, a dirty black wench, an American Jezebel, and weak and vulgar. American Jezebel's an FX show. Yeah, that's a really good FX show. One editor said she could no more pass in play company than a gentleman's black mistress. Just great. What time? No, no, it's 1800s. Another described Rachel as fat with tanned skin who looked like an old washerwoman. Oh my god.

So being white skin meant you didn't work. But if you were tan, that meant you were a laborer. So that was an insult to say you didn't have fair skin. Yeah, cool. It's cool. Super cool. Yeah. They made fun of her backcountry divorce and the fact that she smoked a cigar and cord cob pipe. I'm attracted. So this is the 1830s version of City Liberals making fun of the flyover states. Right, yeah. And it was the first Westerner that had a chance to win the presidency. Westerners were considered squatters and intruders back east. Many had no land and were uneducated. They were looked down upon. They were considered crude, boastful, distrustful of civilization and city people. They had a love of liberty and were

made fun of for their degenerative breeding. The first time Andrew had run for president, it invoked quote, first time he didn't. He was like, maybe it invoked quote, sneers and derision of the men in power in Washington. But now he was a threat. Americans saw him as a man from the woods. Now he's a force. Yeah. He had what it took to clean up the corruption of Washington. Oh my God. What? Andrew Jackson looked the stereotype of a Western man. Tall, lanky, carried a harsh, a lived life on his face. He was known to, who's known to get, to do things without deliberation and justifies behavior. He totally lacked any statesman like qualities. He was

happy to not have them. But to those raised in the woods and harsh lands of America, he was old Hickory, a self-made man who came from rough, tough woods of Tennessee. They loved his rough ashes. He wasn't fancy John Quincy Adams. His foray into Florida meant he was a man who didn't take shit. His treatment of Native Americans said he'd get done what needed to be done. Yeah. There's a correlation between murder and legislation. That's never gone away. No, it's still pure American. Oh yeah. No, still tough guy. Yeah. It's like when Ted Cruz shoots like a shotgun with bacon on it. He's like this. God damn right. Yeah, that's totally the same. Oh, okay. That matters. He was trying to make it so that I

can't shoot an Uzi with bacon on it. No, thanks, liberal. He was, and it was the first presidential candidate to be boosted by campaign biography and the first not to have the education and breeding of the elites. The biography said real Americans were Jacksonians, not the snobs of Washington and the eastern cities. So running on anti-corruption, he pointed to the Clay Adams election mess that had happened four years earlier as an example. Which was corrupt. Yeah. And Andrew won. He was the first Westerner elected president. The Jacksonians were now calling themselves Democrats and gained majorities in the House and Senate. What? Does it sound familiar? So it's a totally different, it is as if a totally different alien force of people have come and taken over the government.

And then out of fear assimilation. And they've, but they've taken over all branches of the government. Right. Yeah. Imagine. But it had been a brutal election, particularly for Rachel. And on December 18th, she felt an excruciating pain in the left shoulder arm and breast. For three days, the doctors bled her. And on the fourth day, she died. They had to pry her body away from Andrew. He blamed his opponents for her death. Jesus. After a period of mourning, he came to Washington. The presidency at that time paid 50,000, but he had to pay for all the parties and receptions. Which we've heard about. And the job also required expensive tailored clothes. His expenses were more than the presidential salary. So being a president at that time, you had to fucking dish

out more money than the 50k. Right. So he's Brewster's millions in the White House. He's total. So he's a populist president, obviously. The previous six presidents had been rich dudes picked by other rich dudes. While Andrew was rich, owning over a hundred slaves, it had shitloads of property, but he was a people's president. People came to celebrate his inauguration. A journalist quote. It was like the inundation of the northern barbarians into Rome. Save that the tumultuous tide came in from a different point of the compass. The west and south seem to have precipitated themselves upon the north and overwhelmed it. On that memorable occasion, you might tell a Jackson man almost as far as you

could see him. There every motion seemed to outcry victory. 50,000 people watched the inauguration speech. The audience rushed the barrier to shake his hand and eventually had to force a path between the people to get down. I have to go to the toilet. Always. Always. Someone had a toilet you could just put on you. That's what I'm looking for. My vice president will be whoever can make a toilet that stays on my ass when I'm walking. People streamlined into the Washington and into the White House for hours. Andrew quickly nominated his cabinet. For secretary of war, he chose John Eaton, his friend and protégé. John Eaton had just married Peggy O'Neill Timberlake. Peggy's husband had just died and she didn't wait the usual year of

mourning. So the town turned against her, shunning her and calling her a hussy. Even his cabinet did it. The whole affair blew up at her Jackson's cabinet. So everyone's just calling her a whore and not letting her be a part of the deal. Andrew proposed abolishing the electoral college. Oh, please, Andrew. One more try. He was also not down with the Bank of the United States, a privately owned bank held by rich men to control the financial businesses of the government. Don't start selling them to me. Which is Alexander Hamilton's idea. You might see that in his play, but probably not. They were also a big, big terrified. After a while, Andrew asked his entire cabinet to resign. Even the VP went. He finished his first

term without a vice president. Whoa, okay. Yeah. Before Andrew presidents thought the best way to deal with Native Americans was to civilize them. This led to the five so-called civilized tribes, Cherokee, Creek, Chickasaw, Choctaw and Seminole. Previous presidents signed tons of treaties with tribes. Thomas Jefferson had urged shopkeepers to keep the Indians in debt. So they had to agree to land concessions. It's cool, right? It's cool. It's cool. Keeping debt. The Cherokee assimilated into American life the most. They established a written language, produced books, farmed, created court and school systems, converted to Christianity, adopted a constitution and elected a principal chief, John Ross. Some wealthy Cherokee even owned slaves and lived on plantations.

They ended their tradition of men being hunters and women being in charge of agriculture. Now men handle the agriculture and women stayed home and baked bread and wove cloth. They literally did every single thing, asked of them. But Andrew Jackson didn't think there was any future for Native Americans living in the East. He figured tribes should live on federal territory out west, not in states. But he said the move would have to be voluntary. No, we have ways of making it voluntary. Incidentally, in 1828, gold was discovered on Cherokee land. Oh, dear. That's the worst. Game over. If you're a Cherokee and you find gold, you fucking bury that shit. Yeah. White people really wanted it, it turns out. So Georgia started. Funny how we like some colors.

Georgia started passing a bunch of state laws restricting Cherokee's rights, like Cherokees couldn't testify against whites in court. Oh, that's a pretty big one. They couldn't sell land. Big. They couldn't mine for gold on their land and couldn't publicly dissent. Well, I covered all this. Yeah, you're kind of pickling them. The Cherokee then claimed exemption from state laws. And the state said no. And then the tribes appealed to the president who was like, no, no, no, you know who I am. No, I hate you. No, no, no, I'm the guy behind all this. Then on May 20th, 1830, Andrew Jackson signed the Indian Removal Act authorization, which authorized the president to grant unsettled lands west of the Mississippi in exchange for existing Indian lands. So a

land swap, except you don't have good land. Sure. Fair. Not everyone agreed. Henry Clay and John Quincy Adams thought the act was a stain on American history. They said Andrew was an ignoramus who had no restraint or respect for the rule of law. Well, let's follow him to the gates at L. On December 6th, 1830, the president's second annual message to Congress began, quote, it gives me pleasure to announce to Congress that the benevolent policy of the government steadily pursued for nearly 30 years in relation to the removal of Indians beyond the white settlements is approaching to a happy consummation. Consummation. Yeah. That's what it says. It's weird. Cherokees, the Cherokee took it to the Supreme Court and they lost. Yeah. But then a year

later, the court ruled on another lawsuit, which ruled for the Cherokee. Okay. So they can stay on their land according to the Supreme Court. The problem was someone would have to enforce the ruling of the court. Well, if there's not a president or a body that will enforce the ruling of the court, then what does the court's ruling mean? Nothing. Nothing. Andrew said, quote, the decision of the Supreme Court has fell stillborn. Oh, Jesus. And they find that they cannot coerce Georgia to yield its mandate. So basically, fuck you law. Right. President Andrew Jackson was saying since the court had no way of enforcing its mandates, the president was free to do as he pleased. Cool. At the start of his second term, Andrew traveled to England, to New England to

see if he could win over people there who pretty much hated his guts. Andrew was super into slavery. He owned tons of slaves and worked with his postmaster general to censor anti-slavery mailings from abolitionists. He called religiously motivated abolitionist monsters and he criticized the anti-slavery movement as quote, the wicked design of demagogues. Wow. Sells it. He sells it. So we're, we have another salesman. Harvard decided to give him an honorary doctorate. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Say that again. Harvard decided to give him an honorary doctorate because why wouldn't you? A lot of Harvard alums looked down on Andrew, considering him rough, uncouth and uneducated. They were very upset. The angriest was alum John Quincy Adams. His cousin was the, his cousin

was the president of Harvard. He said, quote, as myself an affectionate child of our alma mater, I would not be present to witness her disgrace in conferring her highest literary literacy. I love that I fucked that up. Her highest literary honors upon a barbarian who could not write a sentence of grammar and hardly could spell his own name. They used to actually read stuff he had wrote and make fun of it. It was just really caveman-y. Yeah. Harvard just said they did it for all presidents and they could not do it because of partisanship. Sure. You got to serve them the meal. Now, Alexander of Virginia, a man attacked Andrew Jackson, hitting him in the face and drawing blood. A local guy offered to kill the attacker if Andrew would pardon him. Hey, I don't know what's

going to happen to you. I mean, I'm really praying. Andrew turned him down. Okay. Saying no one should take revenge for him. He should do it himself. Sure. Sure. Different than, well, silver lining, maybe. Now, there was another financial panic. Banks collapsed in New York and Philadelphia and Andrew's small government love and bad monetary politics had done their thing. The recession would last seven years. In January 1935, in DC, an out-of-work painter raised a pistol 10 feet away from Andrew and pulled the trigger. The gun did not shoot. He then whipped out a second pistol and fired, but the same thing happened. The gun did not shoot. No bullet came out. Andrew charged at him to beat him with his cane, but the crowd tackled him first. When police

tested the guns, they both worked perfectly. The assassin frequented congressional debates and was influenced by rhetoric he heard in the papers. He believed the president was a tyrant and the root of all evil and had to be eliminated. Oh, and he thought he was heir to the English throne. Mmm, almost had us. He was ruled insane and not prosecuted. The Indian Removal Act was still being fought by the tribes. Yinaluska, the Native American who had saved Andrew during the Red Stick War, remember the guy who? Yeah. Yeah. He went to meet with Andrew Jackson, but after a couple of minutes, Jackson said, quote, sir, your audience has ended. There's nothing I can do for you. Try the meatloaf. And that guy said, regret. Yeah. Chief John Ross and the majority of opposed

Cherokees were around 20,000 in number, but there was a smaller group of Cherokees around 300 in number who decided removal was the way to go. They got the name the treaty party. Hmm. The two groups did not like each other and they both called the leaders of the other group a half breed. Andrew wanted the Cherokee to sign a new treaty that would require removal, but he did not go to principle chief John Ross. He instead approached the treaty party who represented a far, far, far, far, far smaller group of Cherokee and they signed on May 23rd, 1836. The Senate ratified it by a single vote. Oh, that's weird. The Senate went along with it. Oh, that's weird. All the Cherokee now had a two year deadline to leave their ancestral homelands. After two years, anyone left would be

removed by military force. John Ross explained to the US government that the treaty party was not authorized to sign anything for the tribe, not two shits were given. Yeah. A new election rolled around and Martin Van Buren was elected. He was a huge Andrew Jackson suck up. Andrew's time as president ended just before his 70th birthday. He went back to Nashville. Crowds cheered him along the way on the route. Things were not great at the airmitage. Andrew Jr. was a bad businessman and they were thousands in debt. Andrew had to sell land. A lot of parallels. But for once in his life, his health was actually decent. He credited it to his new patent medicine, which included alcohol, opium and cocaine. Sure. Well, I mean, shit. He recommended it to everyone. Shit's fucking great

right now. Yeah. Sleep's gone. Sleep's out. Sleep's out. Sleep and food are gone. You want to talk about corn? I would like to talk about corn. Corn's great. I like corn or maize. Maize. Maize. I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna get up and run. Maize. You ever make a maize out of maize? Imagine that if you make a maize out of maize. Take a hint of this. Snort this. So Van Buren vowed to continue all of Andrew Jackson's policies, which included the Indian Removal Act. The Choctaw and Chickasaws were removed first while contractors were hired by the government to provide food. So because they were private contractors, they cut costs and gave the bare minimum to the tribes. Right. The tribes were served rancid meat. That's a good kind. Next, the creek and seminal were rounded up and

moved. Chief John Ross told the Cherokee to plant crops. He said if they made any preparations to move, it would be considered acceptance of the bullshit treaty. So nobody made any preparations. Meanwhile, Georgia was holding land lotteries and giving their land to white people. Oh, shit. Shit. It's just terrible. In mid-June 1838, 2,000 federal troops stormed Cherokee homes and dragged the people out with only the clothes on their backs. Some were just pulled out of their, out of the crops. They were forced into stockades at gunpoint and the melee families were separated from each other. Looters then plundered their houses, taking whatever they wanted. They even dug up Cherokee graves and took silver jewelry the dead were buried with. You okay? Yeah, feeling

really positive about us. They started to get sick in the stockades. First dysentery and fever, then measles and whooping cough. There were about three or four deaths a day. Over 30 stockades were built to house the Cherokee in Northern Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee before moving them west. It'd be weird to put people in pens. Yeah, imagine. Quote, at Ross's Landing, the place to which at which, sorry, at Ross's Landing, the place to which most of the Georgia Indians were brought, the scenes of distress defy all description. In many instances, they were dragged from their homes without change of clothing and marched 120 or 30 miles through heat and dust and rain and mud. In many cases, barefooted, lodged on the hard ground, destitute of shelter and from dues and rain.

They had, of course, become very dirty and on that account, they have been reproached as degraded wretches. On arriving at the depot, they were required to give up their horses and ponies, which they'd brought along, were feesing to do so. Men, women and children and horse were driven promiscuously into one large pen made for the purpose. The horses were then taken by force and auctioned off to the highest bidder and sold for almost nothing. Good thing we're over that kind of thing. They would be marched to the Indian territory now called Oklahoma. Summer was a terrible time to travel, so Chief John Ross appealed to the government to suspend the removals until September. Nope. Well, if the government agreed, he promised the Cherokee would self-remove and

the government agreed. So Chief Ross was looking at moving 13,000 people 800 miles. Chief Ross organized 13 detachments of about 1,000 people. Each would have a physician, an interpreter, a wagon master, and a commissary, commissary agent. So one doctor for 1,000 people. On August 28, 1838, the first attachment left Georgia. 710 people. Most of them walked, almost all walked. Along the way, there were nine berths, 54 desks, and 24 runaways. They walked through the heat, the rain, and through snow. Their clothing was soaked when it rained. This would be called the Trail of Tears. Estimates of the dead are between 2,000 and 5,000 Cherokee. Either way, an insanely high number for 13,000 people. Many died in the stockades before they ever left Georgia. Others

died when they arrived in Indian territory. In the spring of 1839, the last attachment arrived in Oklahoma. On the trip, Ross buried his wife in a shallow grave along the trail. She'd given up her only blanket to a young girl and then fell ill. Ross arrived to an area dominated by Native Americans who had been moving west as early as 1807. The government was established by the treaty party and others who had already arrived. Chief Ross came with a reunification plan for a new government. The old settlers and the treaty party rejected the plan. Ross's group believed the treaty party were preventing reunification efforts. So on June 22, 1839, one of their leaders was dragged from his bed and stabbed to death in his yard. Another was ambushed and shot. Another

attacked with knives and tomhawks, his skull broken and his body mulated. Cherokee law stated that any man who seeded land without Indian government consent was subject to the death penalty. 25 million acres had been stolen from Native Americans. That's a lot, if you think about it. It seems like most. Not horrible or whatever. So in 1845, good day, Andrew Jackson died. His funeral was held at the airmitage. I'm probably saying that wrong people are going to laugh at me, but you're all jerks. 2500 to 3000 people attended his funeral. He was buried next to Rachel on the grounds. His death was a big deal. He finally mailed her all his bones. His death was a big deal around the country. Let's see if I can get this to go right. So they had obviously a

big thing in Washington for him, a procession. The poor crowded along the street. It was neither crackers or squatters lining up to see the last hurrah of old Hickory. Instead, it was quote, poor white trash who pushed the poor colored folk out of the way to get a glimpse of the fallen president. And that was printed in a paper and that white trash had appeared in print as early as 1821. But white trash then became popular. In a good way? After the parade. No, not in a good way. No. White trash was like a term for white trash. For Andrew Jackson's followers. Right. For white trash. Interesting. Yeah. When Donald Trump took office, he added a portrait of Andrew Jackson, his favorite president to the Oval Office. A couple of months later,

he visited the Hermitage in Tennessee. On November 17, 2007, Trump had a ceremony honoring Navajo Code Talkers. He did it in the Oval Office, right in front of the painting of Andrew Jackson. Quote, I just want to thank you because you are very, very special people. You were here long before any of us were here, although we have a representative of Congress. This is the worst. Who has been here a long time, longer than you. They call her Pocahontas. Then he turned one of the honorees and said, quote, but you know what? I like you. You are special people. Oh my God. You stopped being funny at the end. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder why. Oh my God. It's so hard, man. There was something I saw in the past couple of days where it was like

deep depression is like at the highest level it's been. Yeah. It is hard. It is hard to hear. Yeah. Because intimidation and popularity for whatever reason in this country will prevail. We've been here. We've done this before and we've been doing it repeatedly. People like Trump came from out of nowhere. No, he didn't. It happened before. Yeah. All the reasons why it happened are still there. Boy, that clipper, he says, they call her Pocahontas. But you, I like you. You're good. It's the same guy, you know, making fun of his speech, looking down on him. It's all there. It's all the same stuff. Yeah. He's a guy who uses terror. He uses terror, puts people in pens. It's all the same. The

difference is that Andrew Jackson would leave office. We'll see. Yeah. All right. Well, I hope everybody feels good and is happy and feels positive and, you know, things are fine and we're going to be good. And I think we should just say, you know, everything is fine and everything is good and anybody who worries that things aren't good and fine, you know, just remember, it's fine and everything's okay, good, fine and fun and fun. And I think we're losing a little bit of the fun because it's also fun and fine and good and fun and, and, and fine and everything's good. And don't worry. Things are fine. Things are good. And we'll sign cars and we're on tour and things are good and things are fine. And don't worry about a thing. And, uh, and, um, yeah, things are just

good. So we'll see you. Thanks for listening. This is the dollop. This is for Dave Anthony. Things are good. I'm Garrett Reynolds. Some people call me Gary. It's actually Garrett. Things are fine. And don't worry. Everything is going to work out and we're going to be fine. And it's good. And thank you. Jesus.